#because...it's them

[yolowritter]

Volpibug Au Part 4: Mom help, there's a fox girl on my floor!

Hello there everyone, and welcome back to Lilanette Hell! Finally, after three rants longer than my entire attention span, I've returned with the good shit! Also yes, I cackled at the title. You'll see, it makes sense later. Part 3 of the Au is right here for anyone who needs a reminder, and today's rant focuses on the Glaciator episode and the immediate aftermath! This is where the Lilanette really begins! Also, this post is going to be really long, because I've got two whole snippets for you guys!

To give a bit more context, the Au currently has a pretty linear timeline. Begins with Volpina because obviously that's when Lila shows up for the first time, continues into Collector where Lila decides that Adrien is the least annoying person in class and she will get him back, hence teaming up with Marinette to go confront Gabriel about it. Yes, she gleefully reminds Monsieur Mothballs that CPS exists and is only one phone call away. Then the show moves on as normal, with Lila happily staying out of everyone's business and just kinda figuring out how friendships are supposed to work.

Add a few flashbacks to her altered backstory, maybe some nice Trixx pov to sweeten the deal, and suddenly we're at the Sapotis episode! As I mentioned in Part 2, Lila doesn't like Chloe, so she and Marinette kinda put their differences aside for the sake of Adrien having more friends and keeping the Queen B in check. Still, Lila does not like Marinette at this point. She thinks that while having moments of brilliance, the bluenette is erratic, overly emotional and also kinda creepy with her stalking of Adrien. This isn't bashing, just Lila being a bit too blunt. Anyway, they aren't clawing each other's eyes out and that's what matters. Cue Alya inviting them both to sleepover, the Sapotis incident, and then the rest of Part 2 where Volpina (with her fake civilian name starting with "Cer-" as a nod to Cerise) joins the hero team. If you need a reminder, don't worry I'll rant about it again sometime soon. Lila comes and goes during Akuma fights, occasionally showing up to laugh at Chat Noir when he gets yeeted halfway across the cityscape, and usually just sniding at that day's Akuma. She needs to get it out of her system to be able to hold her tongue in school, so it's a good outlet!

But anyway, one day the Glaciator Incident happens, mostly like normal. Lila gets invited to go out with the rest of the group, and actually does her whole innocent act to basically force Marinette to show up...but Adrien doesn't. Lila is less than pleased with this decision, because if you remember she told Marinette off for memorizing Adrien's wiki page and kinda stalking him instead of...oh, talking to the guy! It annoys her a bit too much, so she endeavors to put an end to this crap by making it so Marinette has to interact with Adrien in the context of friendship, and hopefully figures out that stealing phones is Lila's thing, and no, she doesn't allow copycats! Evidently...Marinette ends up having the same interaction with Andre, causing him to be upset, but Lila steps in to save the day by exclaiming that his ice cream is awesome and she really wants to try! Akuma averted...or not, because once she thinks she's out of earshot, Lila mutters about how a grown adult shouldn't get so hung up on teenagers' love lives + a whole bunch of "doesn't he have anything better to do?" Again, not bashing anyone, just Lila being Lila. Cue Glaciator, canon edition!

Volpina does show up for the fight and distracts him while Ladybug and Chat have their little "faking feelings is wrong!" argument, but Lila quickly gets tired of their shit and urges Adrien to just get it over with! Then, she hides behind a chimney to keep watch and they defeat the villain. As Volpina makes her way back down, Ladybug and Chat have a little conversation where he asks her to at least let him talk to her, and then they leave Lila behind to have the rooftop scene with the rose. As Ladybug leaves, Volpina jumps over (yes, she obviously spied on them, she does this a lot) to talk with Chat Noir.

Now...Lila does not do feelings of any kind. Empathy isn't in her dictonary, even if she is slowly learning how to practice it despite that. And here...she actually does have one of those mature moments. Lila's been forced to grow up too quick after her grandma's death with only Trixx for company (see part 1 here for the backstory), so that sobered her up a bit. Half the reason she treats everyone like an idiot is because they're all incredibly immature in her eyes. Anyway, she sits on the railing and Chat exclaims he's not in the mood for jokes tonight. Alarm bells start ringing in Lila's head, because she actually really vibes with their team's other pun enthusiast. She wouldn't call him a friend, but who else can help her drive Ladybug insane if not for the mangy stay? So she decides to talk to him about it, and we get the following snippet! Bet you weren't expecting that!

[...]

Volpina raises her hands in a surrender, giving Chat a toothy grin that shows her fangs. Her tail swishes around the metal railing, but after his frown doesn't go away, she clears her throat and scoots over to him. "Listen...I really don't do feelings. And I'm going to regret this...but do you want to talk about it?" she asks, trying to smooth her voice into something soft instead of the usual teasing tone.

The blonde's surprise is only betrayed by the sudden twitch of his ears, and Lila lazily stretches her arm to at least keep up the pretense of not caring. Give the boy an out if he doesn't want to share, and hope it all works out. Instead, Chat levels her with a suspicious stare. "Why do you even care? Sure, you're on our side..." he makes a wild gesture with his arms, as if physically grasping for the right words.

Lila cuts him off by snapping her claws together, meeting his eyes. "Because if you and the watermelon don't get your shit together, that's more work for me. And I've already fought enough of his kids' cartoon rejects as it is." she tells him in a rare moment of honesty. Not that Volpina doesn't care, it's just that the list of people she's willing to fight over currently extends to maybe five or six, and begrudgingly at that.

Chat's face falls, as if he'd half expected it. For a moment he almost looks like he's going to try and scold her...but he only gives a deep sigh. "It's complicated. I don't expect you to understand." the blonde mutters, ears drooping like someone's doused him with ice-cold water.

"It's either me or your Kwami. Take your pick, I won't sit here all night." Volpina argues in a dismissive tone. When Chat looks away from her, Lila thinks she maybe should have picked her words more carefully. Resisting the urge to leave him be, Volpina reaches out to gently grasp his shoulder with her claws. She levels him a serious look, to say she means it. "Just...start talking, would you?" Lila prods him, and Chat's eyes glint with poorly-disguised surprise. What an idiot...it's not like she'd actually grown attached. That would just be ridiculous.

Nevertheless, he tells her everything. How he'd invited Ladybug on a date and carefully prepared everything in advance, even if she told him it was a maybe. Well, that was much more headway than he'd ever made, so Chat Noir still went on with trying to make the perfect spot. But...she hadn't shown up. Dissapointed, he'd headed over to Marinette, having seen the bluentte on her balcony. Lila carefully files away their prior friendship, as well as the fact that she might have judged the girl a bit too quickly. If one of Paris' heroes has taken such an interest to her...could there be a side to her beyond the exasparating annoyance she's been friends with for so long? Chat goes on to describe the impromtu date between them, and then the conversation with Ladybug that Volpina definately hadn't listened in on. Spying on her teammates during a momet of emotional vulnerability? Her? Never!

Still, a certain detail does stick out to her, but she politely waits until the blonde is done moping. "You...do know she told you there were other plans for tonight, right?" Volpina asks, leaning her face towards him to look into Chat Noir's eyes. Her catty green peers through a dissapointed emerald, and he gives a nod. "Okay...I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but you know that Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up just because you expected her to, right? Everyone is allowed to say no." Lila tells him, trying to keep her tone from turning to an accusation. She'd never gotten the impression that Chat believed himself entitled to the other girl's affections, but it didn't hurt to make sure.

Silence slowly envelops them as he mulls her words over, as if struggling to understand the concept. She straightens up, arching her back across the railing for a stretch as Chat falls deep in thought. "We...we can say no?" he asks dumbly, almost as if he hadn't heard her. Oh. Oh...shit. She knew that innocent gaze from a mile away, having spent so much time glued to Adrien's side. Lila's heart sings with pity, and she takes a deep breath.

"Yes, of course we can." Volpina insists, grabbing onto his shoulder for emphasis. She clicks her claws together, hopping off the railing and standing next to Chat Noir. "Listen to me. Other people's desires only matter if you decide they do. And it goes both ways. Ladybug wasn't obligated to show up today, and you aren't forced to go on patrol if you don't feel like it." Lila tells him seriously, looking the blonde in the eye.

Then, as abruptly as the advice came, she steps back and promptly twirls herself around, playfully hitting his arm with her tail. Chat doesn't say a word, and Volpina takes a cursory glance at the sky. "I gotta run. Try not to get caught out in the rain, would you?" she snips at him before climbing on the railing. Before he's even gathered his bearings, she's disappeared over the skyline, with only the familiar high-pitched titter grazing his ears. Chat Noir unhooks his baton, and quickly jumps away into the night.

[...]

And scene! I figured this specific conversation was important, because Lila's advice really resonates with Adrien here. Also, I'll take any excuse to have Volpina on screen, but it's mostly for the plot. I'm trying to prevent Ladynoir without any fights, so Lila has her work cut out for her if she wants to accidentally rizz up Marinette. Believe me, if you thought the Agrestes were oblivious, they've got nothing on the fox girl who subconsiously doesn't think there's anything about her to love. Never to a point of self-hate, Lila is fairly comfortable with who she is as a person, but just...hasn't ever recieved affection aside from her grandmother. Sure, she's dated a few boys before, but that was only because she was using them for one reason or the other, and the "relationships" lasted only barely a month each, being more uninteresting than the one before. So...you can guess why Lila has never considered it after coming to Paris.

Also, just to be perfectly clear, despite Volpina and Chat Noir having their moments together and even a psuedo-date later on, things are strictly platonic here. Lila doesn't like him that way, and Adrien sees her as the cool friend who's teaching him what freedom actually looks like. His eyes are squarely on Ladybug, and later on Kagami. And after that, Luka. But that's for way later in the timeline. Feel free to ask about it though, I'm happy to yap some more about this Au's Lukadrien! Anyway! Lila is very much gay for Marinette, and Volpina does end up as Ladybug's bi awakening...so there's that! Alright, back to the plot!

The next morning passes by quickly, and Lila decides to join the nightly patrol with Ladybug and Chat, which she almost never does aside from when Volpina is in a mood to jumpspace their brave leader. She does it constantly, and Ladybug can never manage to find her before Lila suddenly appears behind her to say hello. This time however, she decides to spy on them again as they have a conversation, and Chat apologizes to Ladybug, explaining that he got his hopes up and it wasn't her fault. She then says it's okay, they hug, happy ending! But that's not what Lila is here for at all! See, Chat's words about Marinette have been stuck in her head all day now. In fact, Lila even tried being nice to the bluenette at school today (severely weirding her out) just to see if there's a difference to how she acts with her actual friends.

The results were...inconclusive, so she's come up another brilliant plan! After making sure this whole feelings crap was done with, she would just...show up at Marinette's house. As Volpina. Without any prior warning. And then promptly proclaim their friendship! That seems like a great idea! With only the best of intentions! What could possibly go wrong? ...as it turns out, absolutely everything.

Unfortunately this post is getting a bit too long, so I'll save the snippet for next time. I am writing these on the spot you know, it ain't easy. Hopefully a good way to get rid of Writer's Block, but still a challenge. Anyway, I do hope you all enjoed today's rant! Wasn't as unhinged as when I talk about canon, but then again my Aus have a lot less to complain about and a lot more to enjoy! If any of you want to talk about Volpibug feel free to shoot me an ask, I'm more than happy to tell you everything you want to know!

Anyway, I'll see you all next time, but until then, Stay Miraculous everyone!

[fireheartwraith]

[the-eccentric-eclectic]

Hey kid, look at me.

I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.

Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.

These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.

[windwenn]

This drawing made me realise that actually I love the comfort zone and I would like to go back into it. Also that I must draw more tigers.

[wukongfeetpics]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

[blueskittlesart]

i’ve started babysitting for a VERY christian family which is great because they pay me a lot of money but as someone who was raised almost completely agnostic it’s kind of insane. the 2 year old keeps asking me to read her stories from the bible. (why are we reading david and goliath to a 2 year old????) the 5 year old told me today that he was going to bring his legos to heaven with him. he also has repeatedly told me that the lego spaceships he builds are stronger than jesus. (not sure what to say to that. do i deny it??? are things allowed to be stronger than jesus??) had to stop myself mid sentence today because i almost told them im not going to heaven which would DEFINITELY have caused several meltdowns. they’re also both completely fascinated by my nose ring

[color-ns]

Sometimes tweeter people know their stuff- this is the right kind of toxic angst I want to read.

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[sadgirlautumn]

“kids spend too much time on their devices” well what else are they supposed to do? there’s no corner shops with pinball machines in them on every corner anymore. there’s no malls or stores in small towns for teens to hang out in without being suspected of shoplifting or kicked out for loitering. sidewalks are too broken for them to ride their bikes and there’s no bike lane in the street to make it safe for them. i just don’t understand where they expect these kids to go when they keep taking places away from them. and yes having no safe public places for them is what leads a lot of teens into addiction if they end up at a place where people aren’t truly looking out for them.

[sepiamestus]

You guys should read thepromised neverland

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[swan2swan]

Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

[jm-chrome]

Their little Christmas Cupid 🎄💘

[anotherpapercut]

I don't really think it's fair to dismiss the idea that that guy might have been framed for killing the CEO as like an unfounded conspiracy theory when NYPD has a proven history of planting/fabricating evidence on people. in 2011 there was a massive investigation of the NYPD and hundreds of cases against people were dismissed after a former police officer testified that they literally have a name for planting evidence on people: flaking. you cannot be out here acting like considering the possibility that cops who do this shit under normal circumstances might possibly also do it when they're under intense global pressure and scrutiny is the same as republicans thinking democrats run a secret pedophile ring in the basement of a pizza restaurant

[atissi]

locked the fuck back in