#boundaries are hard

[drarrily-we-row-along]

This can be read as a sequel to "I Need You" or read as a stand alone (it will totally make sense without the prequel)

Draco found him curled up in a ball, in the corner of their office, the door warded against everyone but him. And as far as embarrassing places for Draco to find him went, well at least this wasn’t the top of the list for Harry.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Draco asked him as he folded himself down to sit cross-legged in front of Harry, their knees brushing, and the casual intimacy of that all but crushed Harry.

He shook his head, refusing to look up at meet Draco’s eyes as he plucked a string off his pants.

“Can I sit here with you?” he asked softly.

Harry nodded but couldn’t bring himself to say words back.

Draco pressed his knee against Harry’s, offering him a lifeline, anchoring him in the flood of his emotions.

After a few minutes of silence save the ticking of the clock in their office, Harry opened his mouth, “I couldn’t do it,” he whispered. “Well, I could have but-"

“Couldn’t do what, love?” Draco asked.

He swallowed, the pet name making him ache and burn with desire to allow Draco in, to trust that he actually wanted to be there with him when he was a mess. It was a desire that often remained unfulfilled because he couldn't bring himself to allow it. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, “They wanted me to do another press circuit,” he said, lip curling with derision in spite of his best intentions to keep his emotions under wraps.

Draco hummed softly in acknowledgement.

Shaking his head, Harry pressed on, brave as he could be, letting Draco see all of the aching in his chest, “I just can’t keep doing all of the things that suck up all of my energy.” He raked his fingers through his hair before finally looking up to see Draco's eyes already on him, face open and earnest, so much gentleness that Harry wanted to claw his own chest open.

"Harry," Draco said softly, grounding him, not trying to stem the flow of emotions, just trying to help him not get swept away. He offered him a hand and Harry's fingers clenched in his.

"And I know they need it," he managed through how tight his chest felt, straining under the weight of his guilt. "I know that it helps to garner people's approval-"

"Hey," Draco said softly, squeezing Harry's hand, "You're allowed to have boundaries. You're allowed to need things too."

Harry's eyes filled with tears, they spilled over and he shoved his glasses up in his hair so he could scrub at his eyes.

"You're good," Draco murmured. "You're so good, darling," he whispered softly. "Your heart is so soft, so generous, but everyone has their limits. You can't do everything."

"Not everything," Harry agreed, shaking his head, "But I could have-"

"At what cost?" Draco interrupted. "You've already died for them, you've already given your time working to them, what are you even keeping for yourself?"

He blinked but couldn't form an answer, he just started to cry again.

"Sweetheart," Draco said, stroking his thumb over Harry's knuckles, "You can't do everything," he repeated, "but more to the point, you shouldn't have to. You get to be a whole person, with needs and desires. Who has things that he's good at and that fulfill him, and who equally has things that he's not good at and that don't bring him any fulfillment."

"Everyone has to do things they don't like," he protested.

"Sure," Draco agreed, "All of us have some things that we just have to do, but you spend more of your time doing things that you hate, things that are hard and make you feel empty, because you are so used to being asked to be the hero, to save the world. What you do is not the same."

"I don't know how to do this," he whispered like a confession.

The other man smiled softly at him, "you're doing it," he murmured. "There's not an easy way to build boundaries when you don't have the experience to, when you weren't taught and allowed to when you were young. It's just practice."

"Does it always feel like this?" he asked.

"Like what?"

He swallowed, "Like you're the worst human to ever live. Like you've been given so much that you'll never be able to repay what you've been given, so asking for more seems greedy? Like just doing it would have been hard but would have felt better than doubting who I am."

"Ah," Draco said softly. "Want to know a secret?"

Harry nodded uncertainly.

"Who you are is not what you do."

He swallowed around the tears that were suddenly threatening to choke him, tried to hold back the ugly sob and failed, letting out a gasping, shuddering sound that felt like it was ripped from the pit of his stomach.

"Can I hold you?" Draco asked, his own voice a little desperate.

Harry nodded and collapsed forward willingly as Draco shifted and pulled Harry's body against his, cradling his face in his neck and rubbing his back.

When his tears started to abate, Draco squeezed his shoulder and said, "it does get easier, love."

"You're sure?"

He nodded, "And the fulfillment you'll feel getting to exist in a world where you aren't constantly stretched to thin, constantly at the end of your rope, will be amazing," he promised.

Harry buried his nose in Draco's neck, breathing in his warm scent. "Sorry," he whispered after a moment.

"What for?" Draco asked, like he was being ridiculous.

Pulling back, he tried to look Draco in the eye, then dropped his gaze to his chin when that was too hard. "I feel like you only get all of the worst bits of me. I'm such a mess right now, I feel like this wasn't what you were imagining. And you say you love me but I can't," he shook his head and changed tracks, "and I do love you, you know I do, but I'm not ready to be in an actual relationship-"

"Harry, I like getting the worst bits because it means I get all the bits and it's fine, I'm not in a rush-" he interrupted.

"-and I'm so afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"That by the time I'm actually ready for more than just spending time with you, eating dinner, watching movies, occasional kissing on the sofa when I haven't fallen straight to sleep, that you will have realized I'm not worth it," he rushed out. "Afraid that you'll feel the way that I feel about me."

"Oh," Draco breathed, reaching out and gently tipping Harry's chin up to look in his eyes.

But he couldn't do it, he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, another tear slipping down his cheek.

He sighed softly, "Harry, I love you. I am not in a hurry. And my love does not require any particular response from you to feel like it's fulfilled. Sitting here with you, in your grief is so," he blew out a breath. "I love you so much it takes up all of the space in my body sometimes," he confessed. "And getting to sit with you, getting to listen to you, to the real you, Harry," he squeezed his hand, "It's a declaration of love and trust unlike any other. Being allowed to see you, it tells me so much about what you feel for me. It's a really beautiful gift."

Harry huffed a disbelieving laugh, "I want to believe you," he said softly. "I do. I want to believe that I'm enough but I'm so afraid of not being enough and of you realizing it. And if I let you in and you leave-"

"Me too," Draco said softly. "I'm afraid of the same thing. Terrified of letting you in, of getting to love you and be loved by you, and then having you realize that I'm not worthy of it. Because getting to have you really deeply for a little while and not getting to keep you, feels unbearable."

"How do you bear it?" Harry whispered, looking up at Draco because of the two of them, Draco seemed to be doing a better job of letting Harry in and loving him without constant panic.

He shrugged, "because I only have control over myself and this moment," he said. "And I've had lots of experience being afraid and being a coward, and I know it feels better to be afraid but still do the thing that my heart is pushing me to do. So I love you, and I'll keep doing it as long as you let me, in all of the ways that you're able to let me."

"Can we leave?" he whispered, suddenly exhausted, longing for nothing more than a cuddle on the couch after eating takeaway straight from the containers.

Smiling at him, Draco nodded, "Come on. My house? I can order Chinese?"

Harry nodded back, a little shy, a little unsure about accepting this much love from the other man.

"I want to," he assured softly. "I want to love you, I want to be with you and take care of you. You just have to say yes."

"Yes," Harry whispered, reaching out and taking Draco's hand and tugging him closer. "Can I kiss you?" he asked softly.

Draco nodded and leaned in to press a soft lingering kiss to Harry's lips and Harry let himself relax into it, letting go of all of his fears for as long as he could, and just let himself be loved.

-------------

Read more of my fics here.

[mollywog]

He had had a month at home--a month too much. Thank God, no more of it. In a few weeks he would be thousands of miles away from the petty gossips and petty loves and petty hates of the Darks and Penhallows

This is so real

[zethry]

Just talking with my mom on the phone and I asked her if she was going to drive up here in October (for my wedding) or fly.

She said drive and then mentioned “we,” meaning my unvaccinated stepfather, whom I have told must be vaccinated if he would like to come. So I told Nethqadesh (mom), “not ‘we,’ ‘you.’ He isn’t invited unless he is vaccinated.” To which she said “then I’m not coming.” She immediately regretted it and said she shouldn’t have said that and that it was a discussion for another time.

I responded that I understood she was speaking out of emotion. I also said that he was more than welcome to come if he was vaccinated, but that it wasn’t up for discussion and that I understood that that might affect her decision.

She said she felt like everyone was closing them out and now I was doing it, too. I said that sounded hurtful and frustrating and I was sorry she was experiencing that and that I loved her. And she said love you and hung up.

So now I am dealing with the possibility that my mother who means so much to me might not come to my wedding. And that my boundary has hurt her.

I don’t know what to do. Can’t cry; got to go to work, but I am crying anyway even though I will be walking out the door in ten minutes.

How can she not be coming? I love her so much.

[bp-demonz]

Hella missing the days when I was down in the pits and had no boundaries 🤙🏻

Sure, my back was a doormat for the majority of the time

But God damn it I miss the good times shared...

[thepeacefulgarden]

[dukeofthomas]

Here's my controversial opinion; if you're trying to write Bruce as a non-abusive, good parent, you should also write him respecting his kids' privacy, boundaries, and not stalking&surveying them.

[timethehobo]

A quick scribble for the fun of it! Based on this photo on Twitter of the VAs at SDCC.

[twinkleomorashi]

Me: I’ll never post diaper pics

Also me: ok just one from yesterday bc I think it’s cute

[somegrumpynerd]

Cross has trouble getting to sleep alone in his room and goes looking for a distraction, but ends up finding a solution for both of them

[anders-hawke]

“I’ve always liked Lady Whistledown,” Penelope said, her chin rising until her bearing was almost regal. She looked to Cressida, and their eyes caught as she added, “And it would break my heart if it turned out to be someone like Lady Twombley.”

— Chapter 11, ROMANCING MISTER BRIDGERTON

[kissesfemme]

please remember that the boundaries of dom(me)s and tops are just as important as those of bottoms and subs. this is especially true ONLINE. just because they're a dom(me) or top does not mean that they will be willing to flirt with you or entertain sexually forward messages. posting nsfw content does not mean consent.

[xray-vex]

hey remember when the OFMD s2 teaser video dropped and there were people who were somehow CONVINCED that Stede was referring to Izzy when he said "I don't care what any of you say, he's actually a good guy" and not, y'know, Ed, whom they were literally just talking about in this scene?

like what the hell was that about

[revelisms]

Lil' comic of a scene from a fic I haven't gotten around to writing.

(basically Vi and Jinx have reconciled, Silco is alive, and Vi is begrudingly finding herself beginning to look up Silco as a mentor/father figure. She accompanies him on an errand run, one of which winds them up at the old cannery, and emotions bubble up biiig time 🥲)

[dieinct]

sometimes when total strangers commit the crime of being annoying in my reblogs i DM them or reply @ them before blocking simply due to the autistic need to be understood. BUT i have rules for when i'm allowed to do that.

1. i'm not allowed to do it without running the scenario past a groupchat to make sure i'm justified in annoyance and not simply evil (due to migraine, hangry, etc) 2. i have to make it constructive and helpful feedback, such that they can avoid getting blocked in future interactions. which sometimes makes me feel like i'm some sort of tumblr user manners training wizard. eg:

> CHUMMY INSULTS are only funny if you are already MUTUALS WHO TALK. try upgrading your FRIENDSHIP before attempting this maneuver!

> if you don't wish to ANNOY other USERS, try NOT leaving long, off-topic REBLOGS. such REBLOGS may result in other USERS taking the BLOCK action against you, and/or being targeted by a PISS ON THE POOR attack in future interactions!

> unloading your PERSONAL TRAUMA in a STRANGER'S INBOX unprompted is a BOUNDARY VIOLATION!

many such cases. obviously don't phrase it like this unless your goal is to be insanely condescending. but anyway i recommend doing your best to at least mentally frame your feedback this way if you're going to block the motherfuckers anyway.

[thewisestdino]

Some Sunshine Court doodles

Featuring > Jean, Jean and Kevin, Jeremy and Jean and Jeremy and Jean again

and songs from the first two are "I wish i never met you" by babygirl and "Cool about it" by Boy genius

[thepeacefulgarden]