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hidtired · 6 months

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A Single Punch [Part 2]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Description: The aftermaths to the line up leaves you with serious injury. With most of the group to believe you dead. How will your recovery go at Hilltop? How will people react to seeing you?

2.6k words

Warnings (much angst, injury, near death, depression, recovery, typical walking dead shenanigans) [happy ending… eventually]

(Daryl Dixon x Reader) Masterlist

Your POV

The steady hum and rocking of the truck bed is what woke you from unconsciousness. The wind ripping around you. It was hard to breathe. Even more so when you realized that you were next to two bodies, presuming that they used to be your friends. What had happened again? A bat? Line of your family being chosen for death. You were one of those chosen. The thought of "I'm alive." While not necessarily feeling like it. You were alive. Your body moving on it own slapping the back of the truck with your bloody hand. Bloody and very broken if the sharp pain sent threw you didn't tell you anything.

The sharp pain making you groan and rolling into yourself. A wheeze still in your lungs. You felt like you were spinning. The loud bang of the tail gate making you jump. Everything felt wrong something is wrong.

"I can't, please it hurts."

Sasha flinched when you spoke. Believing for a second she dreamt it. But your small whimpering and sobs made her drop closer to you. "Y-your still alive- I don't-" Your face and hair were covered in your own blood. Not knowing the location its coming from. Sasha pulling herself together after the initial shock. She turned to Maggie who stood wobbly and in shock seeing you trying to move and talk. Your speech was becoming incomprehensible now. Sasha slipped off a layer of clothing to hold to your head. She turned back to Maggie again, ''Go get back into the car!" Sasha felt you go still again. She had to move fast. Jumping over the side of the truck closing the tailgate. She was not letting Negan have you to.

Days later...

You opened your eyes groggy and confused. Looking over to see Maggie in a bed herself. You try and move your hand up to remove something blocking your right side of your head. Expect your hand stopped bounded to the bed. Maggie heard you move and slowly approached you, "Shh, your safe." This wasn't your first time awake but it was the first that you were more aware.

"W-wha?" Your speech was slurred. But Maggie saw it in your eyes. For the first time she saw you in them. She sniffled, "Y/n thank goodness. I thought you were..." She shook her head and put a hand to your shoulder. "I'll be right back ok? I need to get the doctor?" You simply tried to look at her face trying to gauge what was wrong. She sped out the room leaving you to stare out after her.

She came rushing back into the room with a man. He was speaking to fast at you but they were questions asking your name and if you knew where you were. The man shined a light in your face. You tried to look away from the light because it hurt. You looked at the man with squinted eyes, "H-errrs-sel?" You looked back to Maggie with a questioning look. Only to get a sad look back. Sasha then came through the door in a haste hearing you were awake again.

"Is she doing any better?" She huffed out of breath. The man you had zero clue about simply looked back to you and sighed. "It looks like the swelling in her brain is reducing. I don't know the extent of the brain damage she will have, but her chances of survival just increased." Maggie sighed with the first bit of good news about you. Tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. She smiled at you. You with having no clue what's going on simply mirrored her back with your own smile. You try and raise your other hand but not feeling it at all you look down to see your arm in a cast and bound close to your chest.

The man who you couldn't place, doctor man, started talking again. "Its only been 2 days, for that much time she is doing better then I could have ever imagined. I think she may have taken most of the blow to her hand. However, head trauma is always unpredictable." They jumped at the sound of your gasp looking at you to see what was wrong. You were just looking at Maggie looking her up and down.

"Ba-baby?!" Maggie moved closer to you and started to try and sooth your worry. "Is fine, the baby and me are ok." You relax back into your sheets. Dr. Carson simply studied you. "I would like someone to be with her at all times now. She could have a stroke or start seizing. She still needs to be bound to the bed for all are safety. If she is still awake in a hour try having her eat or drink." Maggie and Sasha both nodded and looked at each other giving a determined look.

Few hours later you were still awake having to be reminded to 'keep your eyes open' and 'need to stay awake.' You would ask things, try to at least. Most of what you said didn't make sense to anyone but you. The worst was the look on your face remembering about something or someone that was lost along the way. When you were asking about a baby you were meaning Lori and Judith. You knew something with a baby was wrong and that was the only one you could think of until Maggie said that her and her baby was ok that you remembered.

The longer you were awake you would get better minimal but still better. But you began asking for something they couldn't give you.

"Dar-ryl?" They always try to come up with something. 'he is on a run' or 'he is out hunting.' But that didn't stop the want for him. You were frustrated at the broken bits of your brain. You knew Daryl always put those pieces together.

Daryl POV

His cell was cold, dark, and always seemed to have one song playing on loop. It was torture. Not however as much torture then the loss of you was. He never knew the kind of love she gave him. She was a first, and now last. The pain in his shoulder and face from the beating he has gotten were nothing like the one in his heart, his soul. That night replayed over in his head. He thought about how he deserved to have gotten killed not Glenn. He cause Maggie to be a single mother now. He deserved this. Being here.

He thought back to when Rick lost Lori. He didn't understand then. But sure as hell did now.

The door handle started to move, the music cutting off, assuming he was getting the normal moldy bread and dog food. Dwight walked in throwing the food down to the floor. "The sooner you join the sooner this will stop." Daryl all but chuckled, "and what become like you?" Now that pissed Dwight off, striking a nerve. But Daryl lead on more, "I get it. Your doing it for someone else. But I don't have that anymore." Daryl sent a look that could kill. Dwight only studied him and shook his head at him. Throwing two polaroid to the floor, "Someone else doesn't have that anymore either." Before slamming the door shut. The music came on but then changed to a more somber tune.

Daryl hesitated to pick up the pictures before doing so and seeing the images with the smallest light coming from under the door. Yours and Glenn's bodies. His breath hitched looking at it. You the women he loved and a friend who would still be alive with his wife and child if he never existed. He lost it. Sobbing. Broken.

He made a promise to not just you but himself that he was going to do right by you. He still had a mission. By the end of it this place will be burning to ground. Even if he had to go with it.

Maggie POV

After having to deal with a man like Gregory she needed to clear her head before it was her turn to sit with you. Making her way over to were Glenn and Abraham were buried. She was met by Enid staring down to the graves.

''Enid?" She walked over to the young teen and hugged her. Enid sniffled before explaining why she was there, wanted to see if she and the baby were ok. Enid gestured to the two graves. "I didn't know which one was his." Enid the paused, "Why is there only two, where is the third?"

With that Maggie smiled and waved her hands to come follow her. Enid was confused at the action. They stepped into Jesus trailer were they all have taken over at this point. There Enid saw you, she gasped in surprise and disbelief at the sight of you. You jumping at the noise. Breaking your focus from a card game that was to help your memory. Also keeping you distracted. Sasha sitting next you surprised to see Enid, "Are you with the others?" Enid shook her head while approaching your table. "How is this possible..." She sat down across from you. You simply stared back but continued with your cards pointing to one for Sasha to flip. You were struggling with mobility.

Sasha sighed catching the hint and continued flipping cards for you to match. Enid looked at you more closely. Your face was still swollen and was a mix of purples, blues, and yellows. The top to the right of your head had a part of your hair shaved with stitching. You looked pale. Your speech has gotten better but you were just to tired to speak much. It showed in your eyes. You still had your arm in a cast brought close to your chest by a sling. Watching Enid study you Maggie decided to add some insight. "We didn't know she was alive until half way to Hilltop. Didn't know if she would make it even a few days after."

Enid look to you with pity. She saw how sick you were even before leaving Alexandria. At least that seemed to be better. Maggie cleared her throat, "How is everything back at Alexandria."

Enid explained about how they took and trashed everything back home. Maggie could only scowl at the thought of them. At the mention of how they brought Daryl with them and he looked to not be doing to well but still alive. You had looked up and just stared intently, "He ok?" With you gaining some abilities back it was harder to lie about what happened. You had yet to know of his capture and Glenn's death. It was only a matter of time before you found out.

Your mind seemed to be other wise fine. Most of the trouble was how it was trying to move your body. Walking was going to need to be learned again. When you got your right hand back writing and holding things as well. Nothing time couldn't fix. Maggie was the person to mostly look after you. You were a welcome distraction from her mind.

Later that day was when you said something that shook her. To see your mind healing and remember. You were just staring out the window while the sun started to set.

"I was a mercy kill."

You went to sleep shortly after. It was probably time to tell you the truth. Before you could think of all the worsts before hand.

Your POV

Being woken up by Jesus pulling you out of bed with haste and to carry you and hide you under the trailer was not what you were expecting. He was saying 'their here' and 'need to stay here and be silent.' You were laying under the trailer in dirt. It was finally catching up to what had happen just then. You didn't know all the things you probably should but you knew it would come naturally. While you lay there waiting for Jesus to tell you it was safe you remember that a few days ago you thought he was the literally Jesus for a second longer then you would like to admit.

You saw men taking things all around you. These were the asshole who did this to you. You remember when you woke up in the back of the truck. Two bodies beside you. You knew one was Abraham but didn't have the guts to ask who the other was. You just couldn't handle it at the moment. Others thought that to if they didn't say anything about it.

You were starting to get cold. But you saw that the men were leaving now. When the men were gone you don't think you could get out of there by yourself if you tried. When a group of people were quickly making your way over to you, you sighed ready to get up out the dirt. It was Maggie's voice you first heard. She sounded like she was panicking, "Did you hide her? Where is she?" She sounded to be directing this to Jesus. Then you heard a voice that surprised you, "What? Hide who?" It was Rosita. They got closer to you before Jesus spoke and lent down to were he put you. "She's ok, I put her here."

Jesus start to pull you out revealing who you were to Rosita. You just popped out being dragged by under your arms. "Hi" She gasped and lent down to help pick you up off the floor. "Your still alive..." she looked about ready to cry. You smiled, "Damn r-right I am." You would have had more trouble standing if Jesus wasn't helping but also leaning into Rosita while hugging you helped. It was Sasha who came to help you back to your bed while the others talked some more.

It was later that evening eating dinner when everybody was in Jesus's trailer. Everyone was talking while you stared at your left hand trying to move it to the best of your ability. Your body felt like it had latency that's why is was so hard to do anything. You and Maggie were now on your own with them taken Dr. Carson. You sighed and looked around you decided it was time. You needed to know.

"What happened that day..."

It went quiet before all eyes went to you. It was Maggie who first tried to start but Rosita cut in. "What do you remember." You bit your lip and look off into the distance. "Seeing what happened to Abraham, I was struggling to breath... I remember the feeling of the bat. I didn't pass out as soon as it hit me. I froze. Played dead even." You paused before sucking in a breath, your voice was still slow and looked to take a lot of focus to do, because it did.

"I woke up next to two bodies..."

Now is when Maggie spoke, "Daryl had punched Negan after he hit you." You sucked in a breath and held it. "He tried to kill you unprovoked, I don't blame Daryl." She looked into your eyes. "Negan killed Glenn." The air in your lungs released and a shaky hand came to cover your mouth, tears filling your eyes. The room was silent for a moment before she spoke again. "Daryl punched him and distracted him from you. Negan would have kept swinging at you." You closed your eyes to soak in the information. You were alive at Glenn's expense. "There's more." You opened your eyes to look at her.

"They took Daryl as there prisoner."

Part 3

Feedback welcomed and requests open!

Reunions coming next part :)

Also little disclaimer I’m really dyslexic so sorry with grammar or spelling that is messed up!

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl fanfiction #daryl dixon #twd daryl #the walking dead daryl #daryl x reader #norman reedus #angst #fluff #happy ending

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knightyoomyoui · 3 months

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The 1% Of Chances | TWICE Jeongyeon x Male Reader Fanfic : CHAPTER 12 (FINALE)

After more than a year, this book is now officially closing with this finale chapter. Find out the rest of the twists to be unveiled and if these will all end in a positive... or a negative note. Thank you everyone again to those who read, voted, and added The 1% Of Chances on their reading lists!

1 MONTH LATER

Your recovery from your injuries has been massively smooth and progressive, thanks to the guidance from your doctors and your friend Somin, who were there for you every day, just as he said. Although you cannot move properly like a regular person would do yet, nevertheless it is a relief that you can see that your body is healing from all the damages it took from your accident.

Speaking of accidents, it may be perplexing and surprising to you to learn that you really did get involved in that which led you into this state, but you just let it pass rather and call it like it indeed was true. The doctor advised that you must stress your brain too much from remembering everything, and so you followed.

What also helped you from working patiently on your recovery aside from Somin was the other visitors you just had recently, which shocked you because you weren’t expecting that you had developed friendship this much to numerous people.

Eight women entered your room and respectfully greeted you before they began to introduce themselves one by one to you. You learned that you all met them because of some "acquaintance,” which also implicated Somin for that part. As you take a look at each of them, you are pretty impressed yourself that you got yourself surrounded by decent and gorgeously looking set of women here.

The last one who approached you, named Nayeon, wished you good luck and shared with you that they’re actually nine, but that one more person isn’t present because she’s unfortunately not available right now.

It had you feeling a bit disappointed and sad that maybe this girl was probably the least one you’re close with; that’s why she doesn’t bother her that much to visit you, but Nayeon reassured you with the idea that “If only she can be here, she’s definitely the first person who will come up to meet you and receive her utmost concern.”

You then developed the hope that you'd eventually run across this last woman someday and kept it in your mind that you'd pursue for it once you finally healed from your injuries. Thanking them all for spending their allotted time to pay a visit to their friend despite knowing that you may not remember them yet, but their thoughtfulness for you as your friends was highly recognized.

With additional motivation and encouragement, that effectively lifts you up to continue the passion of going back to your feet in much stronger and healthier condition than before.

You ate a balanced meal, did some mild exercises, took some meditation, and spent some time with your friend as he slowly brought back some buddy and personal stories you had missed.

A doctor also assigned you to a therapist to aid you in bringing back that function of your brain to recover all those traces of your memories that may have gone blocked due to the damages it suffered.

You attended every session with Dr. Han, and her instructions and advice were beneficial , and it made you concentrate deeper on controlling and monitoring the limits of your brain to reinstate all the important memories that were hopefully temporarily forgotten.

At your last scheduled appointment with her, you reported to her about the improvements you were feeling, and she also did the same evaluation of you, in which you were proud that she knew that you had done great on rebuilding yourself into the YN that everybody knew. She also congratulated you that your injuries were now almost completely healed, and tomorrow you can now be sent out and go home with your friend, who has too much already to take care of you.

Before you and her ended your consultation, the doctor noticed your silence while she’s rearranging her desk. She found you staring somewhere at nothing, seemingly fixated on whatever caught your attention.

“Mr. LN, are you good? ”She asked, glancing at you as she watched you just sit there without any movement at all. Your face has this mix of fascination and impression written on it. Thankfully, your doctor’s gentle voice was enough to cut you back from dozing off fromyour senses. With a shudder, you turned to face the doctor, your eyes blinking quickly, and you felt disoriented. “I'm fine, Doc. Sorry,” you apologized as you rubbed the bridge of your nose and breathed slowly. Forcing a smile at her, she just took one more check on you before you shyly avoided her stares at you, roaming around the room as if you’re reminiscing about something.

Bingo, that’s what the doctor had crossed into her mind, making her figure out the change in your behavior. “Something’s making you unstable? ”

“Ahh… a little bit, I guess.” You feigned a chuckle. “I still couldn’t believe I had these. Treatments, comatose, injuries… it still hasn’t struck me well that I went through all of those.”

“YN, as I said… confusions is one of the main symptoms of people who were having amnesia. You don’t know what to believe, to trust, or to comprehend yet… because what you seem to be feels more convincing than what everybody tells on you, since you couldn’t rememberly entirely about any of those.” She recapped.

“I know, doc… but I’m not confused anymore.” You corrected.

“Then what do you feel?”

“Surreal? Was that the term?” You asked for clarification. “Like, I’m having this feeling that… I wasn’t suppose to be like this at all.”

“You didn’t deserved to be in that accident, Mr. LN.”

“And neither did somebody who he t got hospitalized whether its little less than that or not.”

The doctor furrowed her brows. “Did you unlocked another core memory just now, YN?”

“I don’t know, I hope it is.. because it felt so real.” You shrugged and sighed. “I had it right after I woke up from coma ever since, and just thinking about it still almost making me question what it truly is… because it gave me the feeling of being safe and… important.”

“Give me more of what you’re trying to tell, YN. Why does it feel so important for you to remember?”

“Because I was in love?” You gazed at the doctor. “There’s this girl in my dreams while I was in coma. I couldn’t remember her face anymore but… everything she’s been saying and doing to me, I sensed some fear in those. A fear of losing a loved one away from you.

And now that i couldn’t remember who she is… it’s a mystery to me, you know? Who is this person that appeared in my dreams, that’s making me take this accident I’ve had lightly because it’s as if she knows that… I’ll do better once I recover. Do you think she… means something to me?”

The doctor took some time to put the details piece by piece before she took the turn to speak in her response. “That question is now up for you to discover, YN. Whoever that girl is, has made you feel special, and you were holding her in that reserved spot to your heart. Actually, dreams that feels too real, some says that it was a foreshadowing that something that will happen or rather, something that did occurred before.

I couldn’t help you anymore to revisit that particular dream you just had to discover if that moment is bound to be real or she’s just a part of your fantasy that you wish to be real,, but just so you know… no matter what that dream is trying to tell you, if you have the chance to meet who may that girl is, make sure that you take it, okay?”

You nodded at the recommendation that was given to you and you thanked her for sharing her thoughts about it. After exiting the room, you joined Somin who has finished paying the remaining hospital bills, send your overwhelming gratitude for the doctors and nurses involved on your recovery.

Riding the car, Somin closed the door and took the wheels while you sat beside him. Seeing you wandering around the surroundings outside, Somin had a smile on his face, still thankful and happy that his friend is back all too well.

“You good, YN?”

“I am. Good to be back, honestly. I feel free again.” You said while peeking at the hospital’s structure between the tall, old trees, dozens of cars parked and a bright morning.

“Take it all in, bro.” He smirked and patted your shoulder before he focuses on driving yourselves back to the place where you can resume your rest peacefully.

Almost half an hour later, you and Somin reached your place safety. He escorted you out with your crane and propped his body to lean against him while both were slowly walking towards the door of your house.

“Welcome aboard, this is our humble abode, YN.” He patted the couch as we walked passed it. “Just sit there and relax, don’t move too much. You can tell me what do you want and I’ll just hand it to you.”

You listened to him and slowly sank your body into the soft cushions. You leaned your back on the headboard and stared at the ceiling. Somin then came out of his room and went to the kitchen rummaging for something on those shelves.

“Do you want to eat?” he exclaimed.

“Nah, I’m not hungry yet.”

“Oh sure. How about water?”

You paused for a moment to contemplate. “Uhm, that will do. I’m kinda thirsty.”

Somin grabbed the pitchel inside the refrigerator and poured your glasses full with the said drink. After emptying it and releasing a sigh of contentment. Dropping the glass on the table, you said out something that Somin didn’t expect.

“Can you tour me around the house again?”

Somin looked at you perturbedly. “You sure? You should go and rest-”

You shook your head and rose back on the couch, taking the crane with you. Somin noticed and attentively assisted you. “I’m not that tired anyway. I just want to test if I’ll get something today. Can we?”

Somin sighed and nodded. “Alright, but if you can’t yet, we’ll try it the other day.”

You made Somin lead the way. He then starts narrating to you some of the memorable things that happened in the living area. For example, you were known for being a video game enthusiast, and the proof he has is those sets of PS5 with different games organized neatly underneath the TV.

He would then share that he once caught you sleeping on the couch while the game was paused and your controller was in your hands. That’s why he was instead the one who continued the progress of the game on your behalf.

“Next one is here, the kitchen. You were mostly the one in charge of cleaning the dishes but you’re still good at cooking, although I’m actually the one who leads for us.” He said as he lets you look around at what do you both have in this section. “We rarely let our supplies ran out for more than a day, when it comes on going for the groceries, it’s either you and i who will go as long as one of us is available here in the house.”

“Have I burnt a food once?”

“Almost, but your food set is limited so it’s a seldom that you can overcook something that you know how to.”

“Well that’s good to hear.” You were relieved to know that you didn’t caused a hindrance before.

You and Somin then left the kitchen and went through the another room. He opened the door and flicked the switch, the lights went on to illuminate the area. A bed, cabinet, chair, and a desk was the first thing that gets upon you.

“Here’s my room, all I know that you have a memory here is that you came barging onto my room because you were mad that I ate that leftover food that you spared on the fridge. We almost got into a fight there because you entered in such a bad timing.

“What were you doing at that time I complained?”

“I was stressed at the piled up papers I have to input datas and calculate them but then my computer decided to act like shit and here you came to follow and do the same.” He rolled his eyes. You just laughed a little at how funny it sounded.

“Oh so you’re an accountant?”

“Yup. Numbers and asserting datas is my life.” He said.

“Oh…”

“Anything clicks up so far?”

“Not yet.” You shook your head.

Somin nodded and tightlipped. “Okay, let’s go for one more… I bet this one might help you even just for a bit.”

Somin did the same from his room and now he lets me be the one to enter first as he shows me what’s inside. “I suspect it’s my room?”

“Gotcha. I don’t know much what were you doing here, but I can remember when you became sick and I was the one who feed you here.” He said as he sat on your bed while he lets you explore around at your belongings displayed throughout the walls and corners of the room.

“Did I had a job?”

“Almost. Well about that you were accepted at-”

Somin paused when he saw you staring at some posters pasted on the wall beside your window. He waited for something like a reaction but you remained frozen in your spot. He then approaches you from behind.

“What happened, YN?”

“N-nothing, I was like… surprised to have these here.” You said. “Aren’t they the ones who visited me two days ago?”

You were pertaining to those faces of nine girls in the poster of More And More as part of those TWICE merch that you have in your room. You also observed the posters and it was very clear that these girls are familiar to them.

“They’re my friends, right? They look popular, Somin.”

Somin nodded. “They’re not just some regular people you’re friends with, YN. They’re part of a K-Pop group that is highly recognized not only here in South Korea but to the rest of the world now too.” He told you. “Their group is called TWICE. One of the things that you love the most is listening to music, man. K-Pop is not an exception to those and listening to them made you became one of their huge fans.

And about what I was about to tell you about your job? You almost got accepted in their company if only you attended the final interview.”

“A-almost?”

“That’s the time you got into an accident.” he revealed.

“B-but how did I became f-friends with them?”

“One of the members is my cousin. You must remember her, don’t you?” He then pointed at the woman sitting at the right side with all white dress and short hair.

“That’s the bunny looking girl, right?”

“Yeah, she’s Nayeon. She’s my cousin. And we’re the reason how did you met them. Quite a luck you got in me, right?” You smirked and playfully bumped your shoulder in which you smiled.

“I’ve seen them already…” you then pointed at every members and Somin calls out their names again for you to practice memorizing them.

“The orange-hair is Sana, the blue one’s Dahyun, that blonde on the bottom is Mina and on the top is Momo, the pink one is Jihyo, standing behind her is Chaeyoung and beside Momo was Tzuyu.” He said.

“Then who’s this?” You pointed at the last remaining woman Somin haven’t named yet. She was wearing an all black dress and a blonde hair just like Mina and Momo.

“Oh… her?” Somin hesitated. “Uhm… her name is Jeongyeon. She’s the one who wasn’t able to visit you when you were at the hospital.”

“Ahh… so she’s a friend too?”

Somin looked at you with a pity, which you didn’t catched as you looked at her more through all the posters you have. He remained silent, left your question hanging.

“I haven’t seen her yet, but she’s the most familiar out of all of them.”

Somin widened his eyes. “Y-you do?”

“Yeah. My interest piques mostly at her. It’s as if inside of me… knows something.”

“That’s because she’s your bias, YN.” He revealed to you with a forced smile. You were amazed to learn about it and returned your sight at Jeongyeon. Somin then muttered about something and lowered his head.

“I think I had a great pick. She’s beautiful.” You smiled as you stared at her face until you suddenly felt stinging pain in your head. “A-agh…”

“YN? Hey, how you’re feeling?”

“I-it’s hurting.” You said as you hold your head tightly.

“Alright, that’s enough. Let’s get you back there.” He said as he helped you walk carefully.

2 MONTHS AND 2 WEEKS LATER

You and Somin were buying some food from the recession area of the KSPO dome, where you both are going to watch TWICE’s 5th World Tour ‘Ready To Be’ concert's kickoff.

Through these past few months, you began to recollect some of your lost memories with Somin and yourself, and you also began to recognize the girls that you were going to watch in support today. You also found yourself to love some of the hobbies and favorites of yours that you temporarily haven't been able to do to entertain yourself at least at home.

There may have been tough times when your head just started throbbing painfully, but it was still worthwhile in the end because the return it gave you just gave you the advantage of slowly remembering everything you'd lost that held significance to you.

You were waiting for Somin to finish buying your preferred snacks. You then looked at the things you’re holding with you to pass the short time. You lit the lightstick in your hand and played with it. The glowing colors were reflecting on the huge bubblehead fan of Jeongyeon, which you are also gripping.

Yes, even after understanding again your love for their music, it still hasn’t changed that Jeongyeon was still the one who won your interest. You proclaimed her as your bias, and there, you wished that you wanted to see her at least again at the concert.

Since she’s technically you and Somin’s friend too, he had no choice but to comply with your request.

After he returned with the snacks in his possession, you and him then searched for your seats. The view of the KSPO dome with all the lightsticks flickering is a sight to behold, and your anticipation and excitement to experience it again increase. The chants began to erupt, and sing-alongs resonated throughout the arena as the countdown began for the show to start.

And when it does, you were left at awe and chills to watch the capability of your friend’s talents. They’re so perfect to be idols and you couldn’t help but to be proud of their massive achievements and popularity, that despite through all of these, they still remained to be humble and considerate for their fans.

However, your eyes were mostly fixated at how Jeongyeon flawlessly perform, in which the fans lauded it with their chants saying that they’re so glad that she’s back and that she still got it, in which you don’t quite understand what they mean by that.

Hours have passed and the concert concluded with their first city to tour. It was such an incredible moment to add on those new memories you have to install on your mind. You and Somin then exit the arena after taking some pictures.

“Aren’t we going to meet them?” You asked him.

“Later. They’ve set some dinner later on to celebrate their first show’s success and Nayeon just texted me that we’re invited. Their security is very strict for these events so I guess we better just follow her.” Somin replied.

That night, you and Somin arrived at the said hotel where TWICE is staying in for a while before they relocate again to Canada. Both then met Nayeon and Jihyo who were waiting for them at the lobby.

They also greeted you with delight, expressing how they feel uplifted seeing you doing well after your recovery.

“Uhm, Somin? Can I go to the restroom first?”

“Yeah sure, but hurry up will you? I need you here before we log in.”

“Okay.”

You left the three falling in line on the reception area and did your break on one of the cubicles. After relieving yourself and checked your look for tonight, not wanting to look horrendous except from the scar in your head that you took from the accident.

As you about to exit the men’s restroom with quick steps, you didn’t realized that you just bumped into somebody due to your clumsiness of looking at the floor instead of focusing on the direction you’re heading with.

Thankfully, to your quick reflex, you managed to catch the person before fully crashing on the floor. As you observed who it is, it was a slap of shame to your face that it was a woman you almost hurt.

“Oh my God… I’m so sorry!” You said as you traced her frantically while holding her back. You helped her stand up by raising her with both arms and you heard her groan while readjusting her dress.

“It’s fine, you didn’t mean it but please watch where you’re going.” As she raises her head on you, her face became evident to your sight. It resulted for you to be dumbstrucked and stunned standing in front of this woman.

“Y-you’re Jeongyeon, right?” You asked.

“You got it right, mister.” She forced a smile on you and was about to walk away from you but then you came up to add something to say.

“So you’re my friend?”

Jeongyeon stopped on her steps and slowly spun her body to face you. She found it different to be assumed by somebody other than she’s a celebrity or an idol because of her image as a TWICE member. “Friend?”

“I-I'm sorry. You may not have known me, but my f-friend knows you. He’s the cousin of Nayeon, and he told me that you were my friend too, just like them.” You started to become a bit awkward telling this to her as you observed her reaction being weird or puzzled.

“Sorry, I’ll stop. Maybe I’m just wrong.” You were about to excuse yourself to get yourself away from the embarrassment you have just committed, sounding like a delusional.

But in your astonishment, you felt your sleeve getting tugged by her hand.

“Wait.” You looked back at her, and your gap became closer to one another. Jeongyeon stared at your face as you did the same. Your heart then started to react uncontrollably, beating faster knowing you’re in contact with your bias in TWICE.

As for her, you don’t know that she’s feeling the same way too. Her fingertips contacting your touch felt like it ignited one spark through her veins across her heart to start burning up into an everlasting blast.

“I-I think I know what you mean.” She said. “Were you the one that Somin oppa mentioned to me? W-what your name again?”

“YN.”

“So i’m right, I do feel like I know you. They said you were my friend too. The closest, I must add.”

You nodded at her. “That’s what they also told me about you. Sadly, we didn’t met early when I got hospitalized. They said you weren’t able to come because you’re busy at something. I supposed it’s work so yeah… it is important.”

“It was important but no, honestly I was hospitalized too when they visited you.” She shared.

Without your knowledge, the one who is occupying the van who bumped hardly onto you and your motorcycle was her. She was also involved in the accident as yours, although less critical than you, hers also suffered the fate as your are dealing with.

She also had amnesia just like you. She couldn’t remember your face at all, she barely can remember your name, that she was a close individual of you, and…

… she loved you just as much as you once loved her.

You and Jeongyeon had your feelings developed for one another but your fates didn’t allowed you to discuss about it and definitely would led to both of you becoming couples, if only if wasn’t to some uncertainties that holds both of you back. Instead, it all got erased in your memories, unfortunately; for a permanent period of time. That’s one of those memory traces that both of you lost forever.

When Jeongyeon recognized that it was you in front of their van, she was about to open the window and shout for you but then the truck interrupted and collided on the van, which harshly sent her bumping hard onto the backseat with her head hit strong on the frame of the door. That’s all she can remember just as you who has also remember now how did you got into accident.

You were taken at the hospital in the same place as hers, but she recovered way earlier because she didn’t suffered much injuries as you. She wasn’t allowed to get out that much of the room, but then her friends and Somin who has visited in her room to introduce himself as one of his friends has mentioned that they were also visiting this guy named YN who is also her friend.

She wanted to meet him but they decided that not for now as it would be hard for the both while going through their conditions. That’s why she waited patiently to recover, with the means of opportunity to meet you someday as well. She was also the one who came up with the excuse that she’s gone due to work concerns, because she doesn’t want you to get worried thinking about her that she also got hospitalized as you too.

“I didn’t wanna have them tell it to you because I don’t want you to feel bad for me. I wanted you to think of yourself first.”

“But are you doing well now?” You asked her.

“Yeah, I am.” She nodded.

“Good for you.”

“Are you as well?”

“Much better than before.” You answered. “Now that I got to finally see you, yeah.”

She chuckled. “What is that? Are you perhaps hitting on me?”

You felt guilty at the misunderstanding of your actions. “N-no! I mean… I just felt l-like… we’ve met each other before. Like recently, but I couldn’t describe how it happened. That’s why I wanted to see you again, and I’m glad I did.”

Jeongyeon considered your reasoning. “It’s nice to meet you again, YN.” She then went beside and held your hand with her, much to your startleness. “Looks like they’re out there, huh. They may be waiting for us, come on.”

She doesn’t know why she chose to hold your hand, but her heart is somehow telling her that it fits around her and your touch felt so pleasant she would like to have it on repeat.

While walking together at the hallway, an idea popped in your head as you looked at your hands clasped at each other and her charming side-profile in view.

“Jeongyeon.”

“Yes?”

“About your question, if I think twice about it… would you mind me to have some more of this?.

She knew what you meant, conscious at your glances and that slight squeeze of your hand on hers. She just grinned and effortlessly hid her blush from you.

Back at your conversation with your therapist, she also followed up a message to give an advice for you in dealing with the anxiety of searching for that woman who then became the subject of your dreams.

("Whether unexpected or predicted, circumstances can 100% occur life, possibilities might be 50% each to happen positively or not, and if you get the 1% of chances for something that you believe is almost impossible to occur in reality, better take the rare opportunity quickly.”)

“There you are, YN…” Somin stopped when he saw what emerged from the distance and looked at the oblivious Jihyo and Nayeon. “S-she’s…?”

“We didn’t know she would follow us. I suppose she went to accompany us as well when she heard we were picking you guys up from the managers.”

As they returned from the group, they were touched and glad to see you both getting along already, especially Nayeon and Somin who were got proven as they remembered what they agreed upon and shared it to the rest.

(“No need. We’re neither telling it to each of them.” Nayeon suggested.

“W-why?”

Nayeon lured her gaze away and spoke.

“My guts is telling me that we’ll leave it up to them once they meet.”

“What makes you think that they’ll recognize each other?”

“Jeongyeon loves YN and so as his loyalty for her. Even if their mind forgets themselves, their heart won’t… and it can create a whole new beginning for them to finally settle their feelings.”)

#twice jeongyeon #jeongyeon #yoo jeongyeon #twice jeongyeon au #twice jeongyeon oneshot #twice jeongyeon fanfic #twice au #twice oneshot #twice fanfic #twice #kpop au #kpop oneshot #kpop fanfic #twice jeongyeon x reader #twice jeongyeon x male reader

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honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 8 months

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Hello! I was wondering if you could please write up a BG3 headcanon request involving Halsin, Wyll, Astarion and Gale? How would they react to/take care of their Tav who has an alcohol or drug addiction?

A/N: Aw, man, do I feel this ask. Sometimes I like to joke that I come from a long line of alcoholics, because, well, I do. But it’s usually me trying to put some levity into serious family discussions. I don’t think a lot of people understand that addiction is a physiological illness: it’s a full-body response, not a case of “mind over matter” as some people like to say. There’s such a stigma and it sucks because research shows that when we respond kindly, and not with punishment or ostracization, that’s when addicts have a higher chance of recovery. So know that while I am no expert on addiction, I did try my best to be respectful and accurate. I hope you enjoy!

TW: Addiction, Alcoholism

BG3 Male Companions Taking Care of Tav Who Battles Alcoholism/Addiction

Astarion:

In a way, Astarion is kind of an addict himself. He’s a vampire, spawn, or ascendant, he needs blood for energy. He can go for extended times without it, but those times have been tortuous and caused lasting mental and emotional damage. That eternal need hanging over his head coupled with the impact of Cazador’s abuse has permanently re-wired his brain. Astarion doesn’t react like the average elf, he can’t, not anymore.

So when it comes to altered brain chemistry, Astarion’s certainly no stranger. Although his addiction lies more within the supernatural, he can use his own experience to relate to Tav’s more pedestrian affliction.

Astarion won’t ever outright deny Tav something. If Tav asks for a drink or a drug, Asation won’t take it upon himself to literally hold Tav down as a means of keeping them from consuming it. Astarion knows that method won’t work in the long run, and would most likely only result in Tav resenting him, and he can’t have that.

Astarion will make a face or two, however, his expression switches from concerned to slightly judgemental depending on the context. He wants Tav to be aware of his opinion, but he doesn't want to smother them. Tav’s not a child, Astarion isn’t responsible for them.

Still, thanks to his concern, I do think Astarion would confront them about it. He’d need to speak to Tav to hear for himself precisely what's going on. If Tav is still in their denial phase, Astarion tries hard to get them out of it. There’s no use trying to help someone who refuses to acknowledge they have an issue. Astarion knows, so he understands the shame that comes with it. But he reminds Tav he did eventually come clean about being a vampire, and about his past with Cazador, so now it’s Tav’s turn to do the same.

Once Tav is open about their struggles, Astarion makes a point to check in with them throughout the day. He’ll nonchalantly provide Tav with alternatives to drink: water or tea, things that aren’t ale, and wine. He’ll be subtle about it though. Astarion will never act as if he’s going out of his way to do Tav a favor. No, it’s not like that, he swears! It just so happens Gale was asking for tea and Astarion thought he’d go make him some seeing as how sad and pathetic the wizards had been acting over losing his goddess, and Astarion thought, well, perhaps Tav would like some as well.

The most difficult part for Astarion is witnessing Tav endure withdrawal. It’s a horrible, painful process. If Astarion didn’t know any better, he’d say the whole thing looked a lot like being killed and then brought back from the dead. He still remembers the way his body ached and burned and hungered upon Cazador turning him into a vampire. It may have been two hundred years but nothing could ever make him forget that pain. It’s why Astarion wishes, more than anything, that he could alleviate such agony for Tav.

If Astarion remains a spawn, there’s nothing he can do but hold Tav close, dab their forehead with a cool cloth, and whisper soft words of comfort into their ear. ‘You will be alright, darling. Even this will pass.’

If Astarion has become a vampire ascendant, however, he can make Tav a vampire, if that is something Tav chooses. This isn’t a magic fix, however. While there’s a possibility Tav may no longer have the addictions they did as a vampire that they did as a human, there’s no guarantee that hunger will not carry over. Should it carry over, Tav would then be forced to be content with those previous addictions in addition to their newfound bloodlust. It’s a risk. But even if there’s a small chance it could work, Astarion proposes the idea to Tav. Ascendant Astarion would still find it preferable for Tav to be an addict as a spawn, as it makes it incredibly easy for him to control Tav’s actions. Sure, they may still be addicted, but without Astarion’s permission, they can’t take what they want when they want. It would create tension and a fair degree of hostility between the two. But Astarion the Vampire Ascendent believes an angry, vampire-spawn Tav to be superior to a happy dead one.

And of course, no matter whether he’s a spawn or ascended Astarion makes a point that despite Tav’s addiction, he’s not going anywhere. If Tav falls off the wagon again, or if they’re not ready to try and face their addiction right now, Astarion will remain at their side, waiting for the day they’re ready to try again. ‘I’m not going anywhere my love. I can promise you that.’

Gale:

Gale’s first response, of course, is to try and determine a way to solve this problem via magical means. Now as a wizard, he doesn’t have access to the kinds of healing spells druids and clerics have. But, he does a fair amount of arcane knowledge about enchantments, and curses. And well, what is addiction if not a natural, biological enchantment? Gale considers himself fairly rounded on the subject of human biology as well, so Tav is in for a bit of an earful if and when they first admit their affliction to him.

Gale may not have experience with the kinds of addiction Tav is, but thanks to his experiments with Weave, and now having been cursed with the orb, Gale knows the urgency of living under a constant ticking clock. If he cannot consume the magic from magical artifacts, if the orb is not sated with bits of the Weave on occasion, he risks blowing up everyone for miles.

In some ways, this makes Gale’s “addiction” all the more dangerous. It doesn’t merely affect his own body and the relationships with his loved ones, but it jeopardizes almost every other living person within Baldur’s Gate. Of course, Gale would never say this. And while he may think such a self-pitying thought, he dare not share it with Tav. The last thing Gale wants to do is make Tav’s very real problem seem inconsequential because it most certainly is not!

Instead, Gale offers to commiserate with Tav on occasion, making sure to never bellyache the loudest. He wants it to be Tav’s time to vent, complain, scream- to just let it all out. He knows Tav is under an incredible amount of pressure as their leader, addiction or not. Gale wants Tav to trust him enough for the two of them to be vulnerable around each other. I mean Mystra above! The whole camp knows that Gale’s easily susceptible most of the time, so there’s absolutely no shame in Tav admitting they experience similarly at times.

Gale will take it upon himself to concoct a special drink menu for Tav, all nonalcoholic of course. It’s elaborate and painstakingly organized. If Tav thought their sober options were few and far between before, they certainly won’t now! Gale is the camp’s resident cook, so he takes pride in being able to satisfy not only everyone’s needs but to please their tastes as well. Well, except for Astarion. Blood is not ever to be a feature on Gale's menu, thank you very much!

The part Gale has some trouble with is wrapping his head around someone as wonderful as Tav would ever want such a life for themselves. Gale thinks highly of Tav, sometimes too highly. In some instances, Gale cannot see the forest for the trees thanks to the pedestal he’s placed Tav on. In such scenarios, Tav may have to remind Gale that they’re only mortal. And that this affliction of theirs is no more a choice than Gale’s own need for magic.

Once Gale is on the same page, he ceases the majority of his condemnation, instead opting to try and distract Tav from the overwhelming desires raging on inside them. He offers to show Tav the Weave once more, or perhaps, some other simple, rather pretty tricks. Rolan’s display of fireworks in Emerald Grove wasn’t a difficult spell, and certainly no challenge for Gale. But if many simple spells are what it takes to keep Tav’s mind occupied as they ride out their newfound prohibition, then so be it.

If by some miracle, Gale does find a spell or enchantment to help alleviate some of Tav’s worse withdrawal symptoms or cravings, he will perform it enthusiastically should Tav want. And if Tav prefers to handle this the old-fashioned way, Gale will do his best to bite his tongue and respect Tav’s choices. ‘I just want things to be easier for you. Life is hard enough as it is with all this tadpole business running around. Whatever you ask of me, you shall get.’

Gale is a faithful partner. He doesn’t run at the first sign of trouble, not when’s committed himself to another person. Be it in friendship, or romance, relationships mean a great deal to him. He refuses to let Tav endure this hardship alone. ‘I do not say this lightly: you mean a great deal to me. No matter the toils, I will stay by your side.’

Wyll:

Wyll, above all else, aims to be an honorable man. Despite his suffering, despite his shortcomings and misfortunes, he refuses to falter or fall. His deal with Mizora may have sullied his Father’s view of him and dampened Wyll’s view of himself, but it did not change how he desires to see himself. Wyll knows the kind of man he wants to be and he does everything within his power to act accordingly.

For Wyll, addiction is a difficult subject. He’s very strong-willed, and because he spends so much time working hard to do what he believes is the right thing, he can look down on other people at times. He has sympathy for people dealing with such afflictions, but behind his care, a small part of him is disappointed. He believes in choosing to be good, to try harder. He thinks all mortals are capable of acting wiser. So while Wyll understands Tav endures such difficulties now, Wyll also firmly believes Tav will have conquered them in the future.

This can put a fair amount of pressure on Tav’s shoulders. But it can also serve to inspire them. In either case, Tav would need to talk to Wyll about how they feel when it comes to Wyll’s encouragement. Wyll, being the supportive man he is, would never want to intentionally make Tav feel demoralized. So if there’s something in his behavior or in his words of motivation that he can change to make Tav feel less burdened, he will do so.

Wyll, like Astarion, knows he cannot make himself responsible for Tav’s choices. So Wyll does not take the part of Tav’s keeper, but he does make an effort to be near Tav as they make their decision, offering his opinion should Tav ask. The more Wyll’s presence remains a constant in Tav’s life, the more Wyll hopes Tav will come to appreciate his perspective. If Tav knows Wyll isn’t going to leave or abandon them anytime soon, they may feel emboldened to make the necessary tougher decisions of turning down a drink or two.

Wyll is more than happy to stay up chatting the nights the cravings just won’t go away. During days Tav’s irrepressible urge causes them to feel restless and manic, Wyll asks Tav to join him for a lesson in combat. After all, he’s not called the Blade of Frontiers for nothing. Sweating out the chemicals and forcing the body to flush all the drugs out of Tav’s system is a great way to sober up. And if the symptoms of withdrawal aren’t all-consuming, it also makes for a great distraction.

However, during the periods everything is all just too much: the headaches, the nausea, the itchiness, and the sweating won’t stop, Wyll finds a shady spot in camp for the two of them to rest. And as Tav rides out such agonizing lows, Wyll tells stories of his time as a child living in Baldur’s Gate in soothing, hushed tones. His warm voice brings comfort, a much-needed contrast to the ailment Tav’s fighting.

Wyll cares deeply for Tav. And he believes in Tav, even when Tav doesn’t believe in themselves. ‘You can resist this, you will resist this.’

Wyll has no intentions of going anywhere. Addiction or sobriety, he and Tav are a team. Wyll sees Tav as a great hero: he knows they can fight to save themselves. ‘You are the strongest person I know. Nevertheless, you do not have to shoulder this burden alone.’

Halsin:

Halsin is the least likely to have any shared experience when it comes to dealing with addiction. He has fought off depression and hopelessness time and time again but he knows not of the pitfalls addiction brings. Having lived as long as he has, there’s no doubt he’s met those suffering from such afflictions. And being a druid, he may even have been consulted on how best to treat them. But that’s the end of Halsin’s experience.

If Tav has an issue, any issue, Halsin is more than willing to help Tav navigate it. After all, Tav helped him save the shadowlands from their darkness. There is no ask too great, Halsin could never say no to aiding Tav with a favor. To Halsin, Tav is a savior: they saved Emerald Grove, they saved Thaniel’s realm, hell, Tav saved all of Baldur’s Gate. Halsin feels he owes them unimaginable thanks. So it pains him greatly to know Tav is suffering.

Halsin offers to use his abilities to help Tav ease their obsessive mind, and the nagging hunger addiction brings. Of course, druid magic alone is not enough to stop the urge from manifesting and whispering in Tav’s ear. Halsin offers to accompany Tav around town, to sort of supervise them, in his way. He won’t force Tav to change any of their decisions but he keeps a watchful eye almost like a doting father as he places a supportive hand on Tav’s shoulder each time they walk past a bar or tavern.

Halsin knows he cannot control Tav’s actions, but he can influence the choices they make together as a duo. So long as he is at Tav’s side, Halsin will let his wise opinion be known.

In their time outside of the city, Halsin takes time to educate Tav on the different flora and fauna found in Faerun. When they come across a plant used to ferment alcohol, Halsin explains the history of the process. Yes, wine and ale are examples of making use of what nature provides, but as with all other things, even nature must be consumed in moderation. Mother Nature blesses everyone with the ability to enjoy such pleasures, but that gift can double as a curse. It is a test of our restraint and humility to know when and where to indulge.

Speaking of indulgence, Haslin would not recommend swapping one appetite for another, but should Tav want to bide their time engaging in an alternative pleasure, Halsin would be more than happy to oblige. Physical activity and sweating would help relieve Tav’s body of some of the toxins built up within their system. In addition, such activity provides a temporary release of euphoria in the body and brain, which would help combat the pain and despondence that come with withdrawal. ‘If I can provide you with the least bit of comfort. It’s no hardship from me. Far from it.’

In the case Halsin leaves Tav for a time to settle the newly displaced within Thaniel's healed realm, he does what he can to ensure his new village is a place of continued healing and sobriety for Ta. Halsin privately enlightens all of the other adults within his new settlement about Tav’s condition. He asks them, respectfully, to refrain from providing Tav with any alcohol or other substances whenever Tav comes to visit.

Halsin does all within his power to let Tav know they are not alone in their journey, and that no matter the setbacks along the way, he intends to bolster Tav through it all. ‘You are by far nature’s greatest gift to me. No matter the foe, be it the shadows or the dependency within your mind, could ever keep me from you.’

If You Enjoyed, Please Consider Tipping Me Via Kofi!

#astarion x tav #wyll x tav #gale x tav #halsin x tav #bg3 imagine #bg3 #hc #bg3 imagines

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exstasyplague · 1 year

Text

UnPopular Jujutsu Kaisen Opinions (with arguments) PT 2

hi god. it's me again. :)

—manga spoilers!

☆ Sukuna is not stronger than Gojo

right.

i've noticed that both hardcore gojo fans and sukuna fans are delusional; almost on the same tier as the kpop stans that say their oppar is an angelic virgin who will marry them. they are willing to trash the character fighting against their favourite in a genuinely petty way 💀

in the manga it's said clearly that even back in the heian day, sukuna's presence didn't cause much uproar because times were rougher back then. the ones alive had a certain type of blood thirst so you were strong by default if you weren't dead. was sukuna the strongest back then and eventually made himself a name? yes.

gojo's birth caused a disbalance in the world.

let's not forget that. in shibuya, when he expanded his domain for 0.2 seconds, the people subjected to that received 6 months worth of information and had to be hospitalised for weeks.

(that's one of my favourite manga panels, btw. will get to that in a second)

let's do some maths.

a minute has 60 seconds. 60÷0.2= 300. 300x6months=1800. in a minute, you get 1800 months' worth of information. 1800÷12= 150. 150 years in a minute. 150÷6= 25. sukuna got information input worth 25 years of non-stop intense brain activity.

that's not only a face of brain damage. sukuna is shook by how powerful that shit was. mad props to him for enduring that. 👏

what's the point of this? to understand that gojo's power is terrifying. that shit hits you properly? it's over. it's not even instant death. it's absolute. no way, chance of recovery.

but sukuna is more well-versed in curse energy. he has a deeper understanding of it. that's his strongest skill— knowledge. gojo with his 6 Eyes can't sense people from a big distance well. sukuna could feel megumi hurting from kilometres away just because he dissected the theory of cursed energy that well, no innate technique. his use of RTC also shows that— it's one thing to get the hang of it, an entirely different one to understand it. sukuna could literally cure cancer if he wanted. (au! doctor sukuna? 🤭🤭 hanibal lecter way since he's a canon cannibal. that's how he became besties with uraume, they KNEW how to cook.)

but then you guys will be like: "ok plague, but doesn't that mean their power is equal since they both excel on their separate things?" no. LOL. knowledge can be attained— if gojo with his natural skills would have sukuna's knowledge... yeah. it would be over. but gojo is gojo and doesn't like putting in effort so he is balanced like that.

this fight is mastery vs innate talent among many other things. one of the main messages in jujutsu kaisen, especially in the plasma vessel arc, is that being powerful is sometimes not enough. and that's exactly gojo is so damn strong; he's the perfect one to prove that point. that's why he struggles against my fraudulent sweet prince. 😍

☆ Maki will never be Toji

never. lol.

people compare them, especially the ones in the jjk world because there are no other heavenly restricted people to draw a parallel between. toji's strength doesn't only come from the fact that he maxxed up his body. it's also his mentality and life philosophy— which maki will never be able to embody. giving up on everything. being all alone. giving up even on yourself and your pride, living to kill and killing to live. that's a certain desperation that's so powerful and strengthening it can not even be called desperation, just something rooting from a VERY similar place with it. toji was rejected by everything and he rejected everything around him. until he didn't and well... we know how that ended. 💀

her own principles will take her on a different path. this is not an opinion about power scaling or whatever, it's as simple as it sounds. SHE IS STRONG. BUT WILL EVOLVE DIFFERENTLY. maki is accepted by some people, by her friends. maki also has her sister; with whom she had a love-hate relationship wtv but in the end mai becomes her greatest motivation and unleash point. plus, maki became besties with that blood clan guy for whatever reason, i don't mind but that's more so to solidify my point. she was able to forge new connections and maintain her old ones.

+ all great villains/ op protags have some backstories. some curses wanted to become the real humans. some mfs were homeless. maki ain't broke enough for this toji shit bruh.

☆ Kashimo is overhyped

🤓

"when kashimo wipes out his SUPER SEKRET CURSED TECHNIQUE—" bro. shut. the. fucx. up. my man can wipe out his d1ck and all it's gonna get him is an honorary spot on rule 34.

he's has an unhinged mentality but that doesn't mean he is a goat. his only purpose in life (reason why kenjaku tapped that ass a bit) is to duel sukuna. very cool. but come on bro. YOU KNOW he is gonna have max 1-2 cool badass moments before he goes like "lul, xd. guess my life nice. bye bye minna-san☺️. the true jujutsu kaisen is the friends we made along the way."

DON'T GET ME WRONG.

if he actually does something cool and badass that will influence the plot beyond adding few cold ass panels, GGs. but there is literally no reason for all the WILD dick buffing this man is getting as of now. no basis.

you know he low-key shitting his pants watching that fight going on— would it be totally in character for him to get excited and hop in for the lols just to see how much damage/influence he'd have? yeah. but that's only because of his ambition. kthx

☆ Nanami has one of the best mentalities

i don't know and i don't care if this is popular/ unpopular.

NANAMI. THE. GOAT.

in a shonen world filled with adults that push all the responsibility on children while they fucx off to party, he is refreshingly aware of the importance his position as an adult holds. (itachi, kakashi, sasuke and naruto could've really used a nanami. you didn't hear that from me though.)

even if in the beginning he didn't really like yuji and only viewed him as sukuna's vessel, a mistake for the jujutsu world, his mentality was: "you are a kid. my priority as an adult is to make sure you are safe." (not exact quotes. when tumblr lets me post more than 10 pics i'll spam you with manga panels, i promise.)

then, he grew fonder of him etc.

"even if you are a sorcerer, you are still a kid. you shouldn't be the one to blame yourself for x event. that's the the business of adults."

in the first light novel, even gojo told nanami that he is the type to be able to save a child's heart from the poison the jujutsu world has to offer. gojo says something among the lines of "for grown ups, the poisons this world has to offer are many and we learn how to deal with them. but for a soul as enthusiastic (as yuji's and many others' teens) one poison like is enough to mess them up for life. exactly because you are the type of sorcerer to know that i'm asking you to look after yuji, even if once, as the individual he is, not sukuna's vessel."

as he was dying, a death filled with doubts and frustrations towards everything— he still thought about yuji's sake. he didn't want to become a curse to him. he could've said "well, i won't see his misery anw so i can put all this sh1t pissing me off on him". (would've been me fr, my self control 0)

that is peak adulting. peak. peak. peak.

RIP. you were one of the best, nanamin 🙏

another proof that you don't need to be mad powerful to be great and impactful.

☆ Interfering in the fight between Gojo and Sukuna would be dumb

small jjk history lesson with your favourite sensei~! ✨

who is this individual? 🤔

haruta shigemo!! 🎉

haruta shigemo was recruited to help the bad scawwyy villains to help with their plans!! yayy. all clear so far. gr8. he is not as strong as a grade 1 sorcerer but his innate technique is luck so he is super duper useful in battles!! (very cool, i know ^^)

now, let's see what happened with haruta shigemo once he faced sukuna (who was busy exorcising mahoraga).

it's fuck1ng OVER man. i've just explained how powerful gojo is and he is striking sukuna with the intent to kill. also let's not forget: sukuna himself is very fuck1ng strong. those two want to rip eachother's throats out. gojo doesn't really care so much about megumi's safety and that's a very sensible smart choice since anything is better than letting him be as he is.

"but— plague 🙄, if he is close to geting backshots then ofc people should help!! they should go against the 2 shikigamis!!! they should've stepped in from the moment gojo's nose bled."

the ONLY instance where it would be ok for someone to step in is when Gojo is literally laying on the ground DEAD or in a state similar with the thing he had with toji. (hopefully it won't happen, my majestic king gotta see another day 😔 👑)

NEVER FORGET.

haruta shigemo 🙏

☆ Side characters are meant to be side characters

crazy.

like sure bro. i cope too. IT'S FINE TO COPE. as long as you know you're coping.

but people get dead ass pissed off at gege because they "haven't seen todo in 10 years. haven't seen utahime in 1000 wet dreams. haven't seen gakuganji at the retirement home in 306 days."

i wonder why. wow. maybe it's because they are the supporting cast. stop. take a break. it's hard for everybody. i miss some characters too. but the focus on the story simply is not on them.

let me know what other copium I should debate 😘

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ambassadorarlert · 1 month

Text

12 Days of Kelsmin 🎂

ambassadorarlert’s birthday event

2 — #23 supporting each other through a hard time

warnings: AOT ENDING SPOILER, hurt/comfort, friends-lovers finally getting together, grief, survivors guilt/gratitude, major character death, maybe a little angsty idk 🤔, there’s lore before this point that i haven’t written out yet so 👀

Healing is not linear. There are high points and low points, points in between where it feels as if one is just passing through their own existence. On some days, pain is just a secondary thought that gets pushed to the third, fourth, or fifth burner. While other times, it can consume someone all over again. It can pull someone back at the starting line and unravel their tapestry of progress. Armin knew from personal, unfortunate experience that the road to recovery would be long and winding.

They lay on their own sleeping palettes, starting directly at each other through the darkness of the space between them. Even at night, she could see that Armin’s dreamy eyes were red and swollen from crying so much. He cried to himself, to her, until his body dehydrated itself and he physically could not produce any more tears.

What could anyone say? 80% of humanity was gone with a blink of an eye. It was far from evil. A word hadn’t even been created to articulate the damage and destruction that was caused by someone he counted as one of his brothers. All they could do was lay down and process everything that had just happened. The silence that lingered between them was loud enough, thick with sorrow and echoing heartbreak.

It was a miracle that those who made it this far did. Eren’s death rewired Armin’s brain. He ‘d have to adjust the rest of his life to accepting that Eren would never come back. The bestest friend he could ever have. Armin felt in his heart that he would see Mikasa again. How could he just not?

But, Armin would not be able to handle it if anything happened to her. In the absence of Eren and Mikasa, she was always a constant, a third shoulder to lean on, a comfort that fixed everything. Armin desperately wanted to place her higher than that. He had been lost in the current of yearning from the sideline, benching himself until she game him the signal to get in the game, that he did not perceive the possibility of losing her.

Thinking about it too hard bent his mind into almost breaking. There was no one else for him. Armin would never hear her laugh or smile, and he would never be able to bask in the success of him being the one able to do so. She could never read to him again, listen to how the words sounded better when she read them to him as opposed to Armin reading them to himself. He could never entertain the thought of making her his, giving her anything and everything she wanted.

His tear ducts began to swell, but nothing would fall. Armin had been given more chances of life than he thought he deserved. There was so much more to life than hate, than to destroy and get revenge on. Armin had seen the beauties and wonders of the world-- Fields of ice, fire that flows like water, the salty ocean. His life was just extended for another 70, what a waste it would be to live the rest of his human dats without her next to him?

She was looking at him, but not seeing him. She looked through him. Armin whispered her name, swallowing its last syllable. She had come back to her senses at the mention of herself, blinking.

“You’re all that I’ve got now.” Armin’s tone, weak and vulnerable, was kept hushed enough only for her to hear. He couldn’t feel embarrassment for his feelings anymore.

“That’s not true!” She quietly replied, matching his volume. “Reiner and Annie are okay. Connie and Jean are alright. Levi has seen better days, but he’s alive at least. Pieck is really nice.”

Her hand was laid out in a way that was most comfortable for her. Armin’s eyes flicked to her upturned palm. H always wanted to just grab it, hold it, kiss her knuckles and even the tips of her fingers. He shook his head.

“Yes, but… You know what I mean.” Still keeping his voice down, Armin stated it as a matter of fact. ‘

Her face shifted in the dark, remembering conversations they had over the course of several days. There was no time to sit down and sort through their feelings for one another. After he had finally combusted from his emotional constipation, unable to contain his frustrations anymore, he had gathered that they have been hiding in each others shadows. They ached for one another, longing to be together beyond friends and comrades/ She squeezed her tongue between two canine teeth.

“Eren is dead. Mikasa is gone.” Armin could taste the word dead. It tasted just like the iron in blood.

Armin removed his hand from his covers to reach out and finally grabbed her hand. He aimed with a firm grasp, but she winced away in pain. He adjusted his touch, immediate concern drawing his eyebrows together. There was an open wound on the back of her hand, barely as deep as a papercut but the skin around it was red and inflamed. Apart from a miniscule abrasion, she was unscathed.

“You should really wrap that up.” He suggested.

“It’s just a scratch.” She underplayed.

He predicted eventual infection if she left her cut open. Armin sat up and looked around for basically, anything he could use. The only thing he could think to tear was the cover he used. Using his teeth to rip off a strip from the already torn corner.

“Here,” Tenderly and carefully Armin bandaged her hand. She looked between him and his delicate application. No one had ever been so gentle with her, or as kind to her as Armin had been. His morally incorrect actions meant extremely little to her, considering he was the sweetest and most altruistic person anyone on the squad had ever met. She knew what color Armin’s soul was. There wasn’t a single dark hue in sight.

“You were saying…?” She encouraged him to continue the conversation, a point they couldn’t reach until now.

First, it was Eren’s letter. Then, Sasha died. After that, the walls crumbled and Annie went missing and alliances went up in the air. Everything had become too much at once. That was all over now. The Earth was quiet. The only noise was the snap and pop of the firewood in the pit. Apart from other slumbering survivors, there was nothing else but vast and open existence.

What was her freedom worth if she couldn’t do anything with it? “I don;t know whats going to happen next, or what I should do, or how we could get back to Paradise. But, if we’re all going to survive here, as a community, we’re going to have to start over. Like, all the way over.” Armin began.

Her heart pounded in her chest. There was more to what he was going to say. The pause he took to secure the fabric-bandage with a discreet tuck and fold. He was amazing, invincible even. Armin had been through so much, even before he became a scout. Those late night talks they had, often by candlelight, abou their own pasts and futures were so precious to her. In those moments, she really felt like she knew him better than anyone else. At this point, perhaps she did.

Armin held her hand again, much lighter and much more gracefully. He cradles her fingers in with his as she resumed.

“All I know is that I can’t imagine any of that without you doing it with me.” Armin’s throat bobbed, his bottom lip wobbled.

“It’s just us know. It’s been that was for a while, I think.” His eyes moved slowly to her, baby blues shadowed over the dancing flame.

“Do you want to start over together?” I don’t have much, or anything really. But, I’ll care for you the best I can.” Armin questioned.

It almost sounded as if he were trying to persuade her, which she found a little silly. Armin truly had no idea how devoted she was to him. She couldn’t help but chortle lightly. Armin flinched with confusion. A smile cracked in the skin on her lips, inching closer to his personal space.

“I would like that a lot.” She breathed.

Kissing required too much energy, they were both exhausted. Their noses bruised against each other before their foreheads clicked like magnets.

A blanket of security shrouded them in this moment. In times like these, where circumstances were too great for any kind of spoke word to be found comforting, silence was always the best option. They didn’t have to say anything at all to know that a deal had been struck, a bond deepened, and promises had been made and kept.

#my writing #armin arlert #12 days of kelsmin #self ship #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot fic #attack on titan fic #armin x self insert #self ship community #f/o #f/o community #armin x black reader #armin fluff

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gallifreyinstituteforlearning · 2 months

Note

Hey GIL! Sort of a random question, but I travelled with a timelord for years- yet during their forth incarnation they well… Lost all their personal(?) memories, apart from knowledge that was drilled into them. I was wondering, is this common? Is there any way I can help them? They seem rather lost and confused, and it hurts to see them like this.

How can I help a Time Lord with amnesia?

We'd need a bit more information on how they lost their memory to provide the best practice response, but in the absence of this, here are a few pointers:

🧠 Understanding Gallifreyan Memory Loss

Gallifreyans, particularly Time Lords, have some of the most advanced brains in the universe. Their memories are typically robust, well-protected, and resistant to most forms of tampering. However, even with these defences, memory loss can occur due to various reasons:

Regeneration Side Effects: Sometimes, after a regeneration, Time Lords can experience temporary amnesia or confusion as their brain adjusts to the new body. Usually, this is short-lived, but in rare cases, it could last longer.

Trauma, Disease or Psychic Attack: If your Time Lord friend encountered a powerful psychic attack, disease, or severe trauma, this could have overwhelmed their natural defences and damaged or suppressed the areas of their brain responsible for memory, leading to memory loss.

Self-Induced Amnesia: Occasionally, Time Lords might choose to erase or suppress memories as a way to cope with traumatic experiences or to hide crucial information—even from themselves. This is less common but not unheard of.

Forced Removal: Some memories can be forcibly removed despite all the natural defences, by using extremely advanced biological or mechanical methods.

🩺 Solutions

Despite the memory loss, your friend likely still has some underlying protections in place that you can exploit to help them recover these memories.

Limbic System Backup: Even if their conscious memory has been affected, there's a good chance that a lot of their memories are "zip-filed" in their limbic system, waiting to be retrieved with the right stimuli. You could try exposing them to familiar sights and sounds to see if any of the zip files resurface.

Telepathic Defences: Their psionic abilities will still be functioning on some level, safeguarding against further memory loss and potentially aiding in recovery. If you or someone else has telepathic abilities, gently probing their mind might help to unlock suppressed memories. Only attempt this if you're confident in your abilities or can find someone experienced to assist.

The Matrix: Time Lords are connected to the Matrix—a sort of Gallifreyan cloud storage. This connection offers a way to recover lost memories, although it can be tricky to access and your Time Lord would have to return to Gallifrey for assistance.

Self-Induced Memory Rewiring: Gallifreyans can see 'dead spots' in their brains and can rewire their neural pathways to bypass areas potentially affected by memory tampering. This self-induced neuroplasticity could allow them to reaccess memories that have been altered or erased.

Gallifreyan Medical Assistance: Some methods of treatment on Gallifrey could help, including Chronotherapy or Neural Realignment, but these are heavily dependent on the severity and cause of amnesia.

🏫 So ...

Memory loss in Time Lords can be complex, and the cause and severity often dictate the best course of action. Over time, with the right triggers and care, they may start to recover those lost pieces of themselves.

What is Spatio-Temporal amnesia?: A look at spatio-temporal amnesia and its symptoms, causes, and treatments.

What are some Gallifreyan protections against forced memory loss?: How their memory works and how they can protect themselves.

How does the Matrix work?: What the Matrix is and how it can be accessed.

Hope that helped! 😃

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

#doctor who #gil #gallifrey institute for learning #dr who #dw eu #gallifrey #gil biology #gallifreyans #gallifreyan biology #whoniverse #time lord biology #ask answered

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running-with-the-feels · 12 days

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For the Demon Zombies au

Harumi: I don't know if this is working

Hanzo: What do you mean, isn't he responding?

Harumi: The injections are clearing away some of the infection on a surface level, I mean, he looks more human, but....

Hanzo: But...?

Harumi: I don't know if he is coming back, I mean, what if the damage can't be reversed and we're just making him prettier?

Hanzo: You mean because he won't talk?

Harumi: Won't talk, can't solve basic puzzles, every test I can think of to judge his cognitive recovery, he's failing. And maybe that's just trauma, he's been stuck like this so long that finding his way out of it will be hard, even if we can cure him. Without brain scans I won't know, and we can't get those.

Neither of them is aware that Kuai Liang is listening in

Hanzo: So what? You just want to give up? We promised him-

Harumi: He's in pain, Hanzo! Every time we give him an injection it is an hour of agony, and then afterwards? Strapped to a table or locked in a cell where he can't see the sun? If there was a chance at a cure, I could stomach that, because then it would end eventually and he'd be free. But this......this isn't humane, this is cruel.

Hanzo, tearing up: No, no, I'm not listening to this. He will get better, we can- we can sneak him out for walks and make his room more comfortable, we-

Harumi: Does he even want that? You remember when you found him, running around that ruined city? You said he was smiling.

Hanzo looks at the floor, hands clenched into fists at his side

Harumi: He doesn't smile here. It's been a year, and I can't tell if he's improved at all. What if he wants to leave?

Kuai Liang, stepping into the light: N-...no

Harumi and Hanzo both turn to stare at him in shock

Kuai Liang, clearly struggling to speak, the words halfway to a growl: Won-...won't......leave.

Harumi: holy shit

Hanzo strides over and pulls Kuai Liang into a hug.

Hanzo: You don't have to

#demon zombies au #hanzo hasashi #kuai liang #harumi hasashi #subscorprumi #mortal kombat 11

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lucy90712 · 9 months

Text

Road to recovery- part 2

masterlist Lola's POV

It's been a long week waiting for my surgery as I haven't been able to do much as they don't want me to cause more damage by walking around too much. As someone who is always active and barely sits down this week has been hell but today has been the worst. Knowing that it is surgery day but having to wait sat in a hospital has been torture seeing everyone else get called while I just sit and wait has been awful. Until today I wasn't nervous about the surgery but the longer I've had to wait the more anxious I've become as there's a big risk I means the surgery could not go to plan and then I may never compete again and that's a scary thought. My life has been dedicated to sport even my degree is sport related as I wanted to have the knowledge that helps me understand my body better so if I can't do gymnastics again I don't know what I'll do with my life.

Eventually I was called back and the nurses prepped me for surgery. I was given a gown to wear which they had to help me into as I can't put any weight on my left leg which makes changing difficult. They did some basic checks as well like measuring my heart rate and blood pressure before hooking me up to a few machines. Then it was time to go into the operating room which just felt so cold and clinical which I know it's supposed to be but it didn't help ease my feelings of anxiety that I was already feeling. Luckily someone then came in to give me the anaesthetic to put me to sleep which worked very quickly so before I knew it I was falling asleep.

As my eyes opened and adjusted to the lights I noticed that they weren't as harsh as the ones in the operating room and the ceiling was different too. My brain was still slightly foggy but as I was coming to my senses I realised that I must be out of surgery which woke me up a little more and I finally looked down at my leg to see bandages where they had cut into my knee and a brace was already attached to my leg to limit its movement. Just as I was about to find the button to call a nurse one walked in and offered me a smile once she saw I was awake.

"How are you feeling Lola?" She asked

"I'm ok did the surgery go well?" I asked

"Yes it did we were able to repair your acl and the damage to your meniscus wasn't as bad as we feared so you didn't require any further work to fix that we are going to keep you over night just to monitor you and to start physio tomorrow morning" she explained

"Thank you" I replied

"Also I'm sorry that you are having to share this room but we are low on rooms and you two have the exact same injury so we thought it was best to put you together" she said

I was extremely confused until I looked to my right and saw a guy who looked weirdly familiar sat on his phone also with a brace on just his was on his right leg instead. I don't know how I didn't notice before as our beds are quite close together but I guess thats what anaesthesia does to you. Once the nurse left I turned my attention back to this random guy as I was curious as to who he was but he was yet to acknowledge my existence as he hadn't looked up from his phone. Seeing as he wasn't paying any attention I took my chance to study his face to see if I could work out where I recognised him from. I noticed that he looked to be about my age the the muscles in his arms told me that he was definitely an athlete too which only made me more curious. In my head I was trying to go through the sports where acl injures are common and the first sport that came to mind was football. With him looking my age and us being in Barcelona I assumed he was part of one of the youth teams but then I wondered why I recognised him as I'm really not that into football so I'd have no idea about any youth players.

"Do you need something?" The guy asked coldly which made me realise I was still staring

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to stare" I said

"Whatever" he scoffed going back to his phone again

"Wait I um have to ask how did you end up here?" I asked

"I was playing football and landed awkwardly on my knee" he explained

"I'm sorry that sounds awful I hope this doesn't seem weird but I'm really not that into football but I recognise you from somewhere do you play for one of the Barcelona youth teams Barcelona atletic isn't it?" I asked

"No I don't play for the B team I play for the first team" he said so nonchalantly like it meant nothing

He had rendered me speechless with that. I simply couldn't think of anything else to say as my brain was preoccupied with freaking out over the fact that I was laying in a hospital bed in the same room as a Barcelona player. Football isn't my thing but that being said I know how hard those guys work and how crazy it is to find yourself in the situation I am right now. Once my brain had come to terms with the fact that I was next to an actual well known athlete I realised I still wasn't completely sure who he was so I found my phone amongst all my stuff and went straight to Instagram. I went onto Barcelona's account and the first thing I saw was a post with the guy sat right next to me. Gavi. That's who he is the big star boy of the team that's why I recognised him there was a time when he was all anyone talked about whether that was because of his footballing abilities or how attractive they thought he was. Of course I had to look at his Instagram and after scrolling through a few pictures I decided to follow him. It's not like I'm ever going to see him again after we leave this hospital plus he won't even notice he already has millions of followers.

What a day. No one is going to believe me when I try and tell them that I spent my time in hospital with Gavi and honestly I wouldn't believe me either but here we are. Good thing he doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone as I don't know if I could hold a conversation with him for more than a few seconds now I know who he is.

#gavi imagine #gavi imagines #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi imagines #gavi #gavi oneshots #gavi x reader #pablo gavi #football imagine

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lavender-romancer · 2 years

Text

Tired of Me

Part Eight

Tommy Shelby x Reader

CW: angst, fluff, drug use, alcohol, suicidal thoughts

Neither of you are strong enough to talk about your problems, you coexist in a state of sleepless nights and last chances but can any of that change when you start visiting a therapist?

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

previous part

Your marriage was starting to be horrifically toxic. You knew, Tommy knew and you did nothing to change that. Therapy wasn't a thought you had in your brain. The two of you just fucked and smoked and drank. When it turned out you weren't pregnant after a few weeks or had miscarried, you didn't care anymore because what was there for you to care about or try to protect? Your own sanity was gone by this point because you knew you would never care about yourself the way you needed Tommy and craved him. You needed him, you breathed him as he told you he would never leave you and he would love you forever.

"You're mine," Tommy whispered in your ear as you lay tangled in the sheets overcome with ecstatic bliss.

"You're mine," You climbed on top of Tommy bare as the day you were born, pulling his hands up to touch your body as you put your hand around his throat "You're nothing without me, Tommy." You grinned with an insane look in your eyes and it sent Tommy mad.

He was irresistible to you. The light of your life and fuck, you had learnt how to keep your brain quiet with snow. You felt invincible with Tommy underneath you, the two unstoppable forces in the business that would never be penetrated by any foe. Your love no, your obsession with each other was all consuming, the only thing on your mind everyday.

Tommy could tell something has snapped within you, over the weeks of your recovery you depended on each other as slowly that turned into a destructive turn of events. You wanted alcohol, you wanted drugs and you didn't seem the same as before the fire but he was so selfish in his love for you that he couldn't help but love it. He thought it would never end, that the obsession you had both developed would last forever but like all addictions it would always end in tragedy and hurt.

One morning Tommy woke up with your hand on his chest and you sleeping on your stomach next to him, he smiled and slowly got up reaching for his cigarette case but it was empty so he searched for your bag for some. He had done it before and you usually had a pack or two sometimes, he saw it on top of the cabinet but in his still semi-drunk state he knocked the bag off the cabinet. Shaking his head with a smile he started to look through the items and soon his smile faded. He found photos of himself and the woman, that woman. You had kept the photos all this time after almost a month and a half, you still had them.

Tommy knew he couldn't ignore this, this wasn't some kind of accident because he had seen you looking through that bag multiple times in the last few weeks. You had kept these as a reminder or at least a documentation of what you thought he had done. In all actuality the photos merely displayed him with Tatiana Petrovna in a Russian safe house where they drank, talked and at maximum flirted.

Arthur and John may have cheated on their wives but Tommy never had. There were naked women in the photos but there weren't any he slept with or kissed. It was all a fabricated lie to convince her that there was an infidelity on his end but it was all a lie. Constructed by any list of enemies Tommy could have bit he had no fucking idea where the photos could have come from.

You kept these after everything that happened you somehow got them out with minimal damage. Tommy changed quietly and went downstairs to his office with a stern expression on his face, different to how he had been the last few days. He sat down at his desk and propped the photos up against his rolodex so he would always remember how you saw him. Tommy knew he was no saint and he never pretended to be, even to himself he knew what he was and what he had done but he hadn't cheated on his wife. He hadn't done that cardinal sin whilst doing many others among them.

Waking up to an empty bed was a surprising sight these days, Tommy usually waited for you to wake up before going down for food or getting changed. Your eyes were all droopy with sleep but you eventually sat up and looked around, seeing your bag on the floor it puzzled you. Why would Tommy leave it there without picking it up? Approaching the mess you began putting it all back inside, pulling out a cigarette and holding it in your mouth as you lit it before letting it hang out the side. But then you realised what was missing.

"Fuck fuck fuck." You whispered to yourself as you pulled the cigarette out of your mouth and covered it with your hand. How had you forgotten about them? You were racking your brain for what to do next, it wasn't your fault the photos had been taken but it was your fault that you hadn't brought up the subject with Tommy. The constant drug and alcohol usage over the last week and a half could be constituted as a bender and it had impacted your memory ability. You hadn't thought about the fire or the photos or the bombs for so long it felt like it didn't happen.

You took a drag of your cigarette and sat down on the floor, unable to mentally process what would be waiting for you downstairs when you saw Tommy. Or maybe he had already gone. There was no remedy for this, there was no quick fix for this because suddenly the voice was back. It was back with a fucking vengeance in your sober brain as if all this self hatred had been building up for weeks

You know what he did. You know he doesn't love you. You're a fucking whore for what you did, a stupid bitch who accepted this man back into your life after he did that. What kind of a fool would trust that man again? Oh yeah, it was you.

Your soul was breaking all over again, you felt every bad feeling you had felt that day. The feeling of craving death during the fire enveloped you and you couldn't think of anything other than your need for death. The need to permanently escape from what you had seen, what you had been through and how meaningless you felt. Your love was all that had been giving you power the last few weeks and now...what else was left? Was there still love or was it just a bond that you were too cowardly to break?

You felt worthless and stupid. You were so afraid that your suspicions would be right that you almost didn't want to have a conversation with Tommy about the photos. What if he really has betrayed you so deeply and personally? Did he really love you or was it all a lie, all a cover for what he wanted? You didn't want to leave this house, this life but all your insecurities made you feel like you had to go.

Tommy felt numb. Even though the two of you felt so awful in different ways and needed one another, you weren't willing to break the distance and comfort one another. You were both too caught up in your own insecurities or stubbornness to admit that you could work through this by talking about it because that was out of the question for both of you.

He ran his hands down his face and sighed because having to approach this problem was making him so anxious and he wasn't used to the feeling. He only became anxious when there was some kind of issue relating back to you because whilst he loved his family, you were his home. Without you nothing worked, it never had but Tommy wanted to let you free from all of this. Wanted to let you go from all this shit and abandon his selfish need for your love that often ended in you getting hurt or targeted by his enemies. He was a cancer and maybe cutting him out of your life was the best decision.

You walked downstairs as timid as ever, after getting changed you pulled yourself together because you knew this would become a turning point in your marriage for better or worse. After this conversation you would have to assess if you wanted to be yourself anymore or you wanted to carry on and survive this. Outside Tommy's office you had to breath for a few seconds before knocking and entering because fuck, you had no idea what would happen on the other side of the door.

Francis was walking down the main staircase holding some towels for the bathrooms on the ground floor when she heard the commotion in Mr Shelby's office. She knew that you had been having an on and off time lately with peace and conflict but recently it had looked good. However the conversation in her employers office sounded far from agreeable and more tumultuous than anything else. There were raised voices the whole time but she couldn't make out many of the words.

Words like betrayed and Russian seemed to be prominent through the door as she opened the door to the ground floor bathroom opposite Mr Shelby's office and began organising the towels in the airing cupboard. Whilst snooping wasn't really in Francis' nature she couldn't help but worry for both in the couple and their safety when such arguments broke out.

"You're a fucking liar, Thomas!" Francis heard Mrs Shelby scream as she slammed the office door shut behind her and ran upstairs with tears in her eyes. What possibly could've happened Francis didn't know but Mrs Shelby sounded so incredibly wounded it must've been something awful.

A few minutes after Mrs Shelby came back downstairs as Francis was leaving the bathroom, she gave her a smile and it was returned. Mrs Shelby was clutching a cigarette packet and a photo as she entered back into her husband's office. Francis decided that was enough snooping for the day, the stresses of her employers were not enjoyable to witness.

As you sat across from your husband you lit a cigarette and glared across the no man's land of his desk at him. You'd never felt like this before, your insecurities were proved right but you knew it was all a lie. You knew be was lying to your face and you weren't going to leave until you got the truth. Inhaling you stared at Thomas with contempt because he was a coward, he wouldn't tell you the truth of it all.

When you'd come back in his office you slammed a smoke impacted photo of the two of you at your wedding before sitting back on the sofa infront of his desk. You were making a point of the promises you both made that day because he was breaking one right before your eyes. Tommy was lying to you.

Tommy had decided before you even came through the door that he was going to lie to you because it was easier to push you away. It was easier to give you a justification for a divorce, a justification for your anger and separating yourself from him and the danger. Lying was easier than admitting the truth that he couldn't cheat on you because of how deeply he loved you. The beauty of lying was that Tommy could create a false narrative that would make you the innocent party and the hero in the story. He would be the evil cheating husband and you could emerge out of all this as a stronger person. What he didn't bet on was your outright disagreement with it all.

You didn't believe him from the moment he said he cheated on you because of the way he said it. It didn't sound like your husband revealing some dark secret it sounded like a quickly formulated lie. Figuring out why he had lied was another layer to this but you weren't letting him get away easily with just saying that he did it with no details to prove it to you. Tommy discussed how he loved this woman which is what first switched on a part of your brain you thought you'd lost, the analytical side.

The claim sounded like bullshit because you knew how strongly he felt about you and how even the slightest betrayal of you made him feel horrific. He would be crying whilst telling you this but he wasn't so you knew it was a lie. Tommy also had this thing he did when he lied to you, he couldn't look at you because seeing your eyes would crush him.

"What are you gaining from this lie?" You asked after blowing out smoke.

"What lie?" Tommy asked with an anxious expression.

"Fuck off Tommy, you know damn well you only love me." You shook your head disapprovingly.

"How can you be so sure?" He continued.

"Because I know you and have known you for multiple years so I understand how you react to betrayal and other people and women. I know that you're not stupid enough to get with this Princess." You almost laughed at the idea of him being with someone else, unaware of where this confidence came from. You suspected it was the adrenaline of the situation.

"You don't know me that well," Tommy looked down, he couldn't make eye contact because you were right.

"It's a fucking lie that I don't know you that well. I know you better than anyone else." You looked around Tommy's office at the books and the photos that gave you distinct memories of being in here and feeling lesser than your husband but now he seemed to actively be pushing you away.

"What do you want me to say?" Tommy asked.

"I want you to be fucking honest with me, Thomas. Stop trying to push me away and actually address our problems." You looked at Tommy for some kind of response but he just looked down, after some time he replied.

"What if you leave me?"

"You'll have to deal with that if it comes to that but regardless you need to tell me the truth." You pressed your nails into your palm to distract yourself from the pain in your heart.

"I..." He paused and you rolled your eyes, sick of the time wasting "I didn't sleep with her."

"I knew it as soon as you said it, you have a tell, Tommy! It's fucking obvious whenever you're lying to me." You stubbed out your cigarette and stood up, walking up to his desk.

"That obvious, huh?" He smiled sadly and you placed a hand on his face.

"You're being pathetic about this, why lie to me when you can't get away with it?" You asked.

"Because you're better off without me and-"

"Oh for God sake. Are we still talking about this? I am here because I love you, I am here because I think we can make it work. You have this woe is me routine and no one else is allowed to feel bad for themselves when Tommy has decided he's the victim." You turned around and took a deep breath. "You can't just decide everything for everyone, I make my own mistakes."

"Am I one of those mistakes?" Tommy rubbed his forehead.

"I don't know Tommy but, that's not important right now because you need to prove that you're not just doing all this shit to be dishonest with me again. We can't have secrets and I know how that makes me liable but we can't." You turned around with a stern look on your face.

"With that kind of look I feel like a little boy who's been sent to the headmistress' office." Tommy smiled ever so slightly and you appreciated it.

"If there's no more secrets. I have one I need to tell you." You admitted and Tommy seemed to sit up in his chair.

"That you have a therapist?" He asked.

"How'd you work that one out?" You sat back down on the sofa.

"You know I keep tabs on everyone, Y/n." Tommy reasoned and you scoffed.

"I know you spy on all of us. So what, do you think it's all bullshit?" You crossed your arms.

"I think it's...a female coping mechanism." Tommy looked you in the eyes and you could tell he was serious.

"You're ridiculous Tommy. Just because you don't want to address your problems with anything other than alcohol doesn't mean the rest of us have to follow suit." You stood up to leave and Tommy walked around his desk until he was infront of you.

"As you said, we all cope differently." He sighed and tried to take your hand but you pulled it away.

"I don't know why but...I think I would have preferred if you had fucked her. In some twisted way I would be able to hate you for something tangible, not this stupid fucking lie, Thomas. It's pathetic." You looked up at him with narrowed eyes.

"Oh, I'm pathetic? What about you talking about your secrets and your fucking feelings with some random doctor? You're telling me that's not pathetic?" Tommy looked back at you with malice in his eyes.

"You don't understand how pointless and worthless you make me feel within this fucking house I can't cope with it. You don't know how hard-"

"Hard!" He yelled "I don't know how hard it is for you? Who's money are you spending? Because you seem to enjoy spending it and warming my-" Tommy was interrupted by you slapping him round the face.

"Don't you fucking dare treat me like I'm nothing and then, carry on with your life as if I'm not you're wife and I don't deserve to see my husband! I love you Tommy, but I don't know if I can handle all this destructiveness from you." Your eyes started to well up.

"Fuck off then, why should I have to listen to how ungrateful you are? All this I do for us, for you." He looked at you but it was almost like he was looking through you, as if you weren't real.

"You're a very small minded and destructive person sometimes and you take it out on me because I'm an easy target. Anything to make yourself the victim in the situation though eh?" You asked and Tommy looked like he had rolled his eyes.

"Oh feel free to leave whenever you want too because apparently I can never be the victim in any situation so we wouldn't want to disrupt your little," he gestured to your head "issue up there, would we?"

"You're mean, Tommy. A foul mouthed and violent man but I put up with all of it for you." You wiped your eyes with your sleeve.

"Yeah? Well maybe ask yourself why I act like this around you." He yelled before walking past you and slamming the door so forcefully it shook the whole room.

”*°•.˜”*°•. ˜”*°•. ˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜

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