#but I’m relieved that wasn’t even in a deleted recording

[amoveablejake]

Album of the Week: ‘Pocket Symphony’ by Air

Stand out song: ‘Mer Du Japon’. 

This is a review in progress but I couldn’t help myself from talking a little about it now. Okay, that isn’t strictly true. I have been sitting here for a little while trying to decide what my album of the week should be and steadily getting a bit annoyed. I was growing frustrated because I do not like having to pick my album of the week, it should come organically. It should rise above the others and present itself and often that is the case and today, it wasn’t happening. Why, well, it wasn’t happening because I was trying to find an album to talk about other than ‘Pocket Symphony.’ Why? Well, I suppose it is because I haven’t actually finished the record as of yet and that is not for lack of trying. I keep listening to the first few songs and getting caught in a loop which when it comes to this record is no bad thing.I felt in my heart that really I should be writing about ‘Pocket Symphony’ and so I have allowed myself to do just that and it is why I have opened this particular gambit with ‘this is a review in progress’, primarily to allow myself some breathing room for when I inevitably miss out some things that I am feel that I should be talking about however, that may be because I’m getting ahead of myself with excitement which again, I don’t think is any bad thing. 

It would seem that I am a sucker for French electronic music. Particularly for French electronic duos. Out of my top five favourite bands and potentially even top five artists at all, both Daft Punk and Air sit in that list. I was boldly typing then before I started to delete it that Air are my favourite of the two and whilst I think that may be true I don’t think that I can admit that to myself quite yet. Air have for some time now been one of my absolute favourite music creators. Ever since I heard ‘Alone in Kyoto’ I have been firmly part of their fan base as I gradually work my way through their discography in a very random and sporadic order. I am not rushing my way through it, instead taking a meandering path through their records over the years as I don’t want to ‘finish’ their body of work anytime soon. There are a few things in life that I like to know out there, as we know I enjoy knowing the Seattle Mariners are practicing and playing and I like to know that I have another Air album on the horizon at some point. I really am taking my time with their work which again can be evidenced by the fact that when I even start listening to one of their records I listen to each song over and over again before moving on. The music that Air put out is the sort of music that envelopes your whole being. It works itself into your mind and your heart but it goes much further than that, spreading out and entwining itself with who you are to become an extension of yourself. Normally I say certain artists are part of my roster but Air aren’t in that position, they’re up there coaching the rest of the roster with me. 

I am always slightly afraid that I will find an Air record that doesn’t quite work for me and really, yes I do know that will be okay. I do like some of their tracks more than others and that is only natural when you adore an artist. Not every song or album can be an absolute hit. Saying that though, I am deeply relieved that (so for at least) that ‘Pocket Symphony’ is as feeling as special to me as I was hoping it would. I have been hesitant to approach ‘Pocket Symphony’ and I’m not sure why. Perhaps because it is a little removed from what would be considered their ‘main’ body of work. Listening to it though, it should be counted among the ‘main’ albums in the discography as I’m sure all of their records should once I have made my way through them all. ‘Pocket Symphony’, again from its opening few songs only, shows the progression of the band. The sound here is more refined, you can hear the years of progress and development of the bands’ skills. In comparison, ‘Moon Safari’ feels very young and unpolished (which is in no way at all a slight, if anything it works in its favour) and here, we are seeing the fruits of the labour of the passage of time for the band. Sometimes as bands and artists progress they throw themselves into more experimental work or passion projects that don’t always do themselves justice. Or frankly, aren’t that good. Air do continue to experiment but in a more calculated way and it works absolutely in their favour as they make their voice, the band’s voice even stronger and clearer. ‘Pocket Symphony’ isn’t messing around, seeing if they can make something work to build a career, it isn’t even a sign to say we’re still here (in 2007 that is), it is just another reminder of how magnificent Air are and how their sound never stops being so alluring. And I hope that once I have listened to all of their work I will say the same thing and I am pretty sure that I will. 

-Jake, a man back in his city after more time spent on the trains, 27/03/2023

[liz-allyn]

shudder; part 2/6 [agent mobius x gn!reader]

Mobius heads back to his apartment to find you in the midst of a nightmare.

Part 1

Summary: Pre-Loki series. You are one of the most dangerous variants the TVA has ever recovered, but Mobius knows what makes you tick. Five times he made you shudder, and the one time you returned the favor.

Words: 930

Tags/warnings: Referenced canon-typical violence. Brief reference to past child abuse, strong language. Hurt/comfort; soft!mobius; protective!mobius; power dynamic; reader has a morally questionable background

II.

The next time he noticed the shudder, it was right after you took a swing at him. He barely dodged your feral punch as he reached out to grasp your arms.

“Easy, easy!” you could hear his voice say, but you couldn’t tell where you were. “Hey, easy! I gotcha. You’re okay.”

You quit thrashing, but your body trembled and you were gasping for air.

It was the damn drowning nightmare again, a relic from a repressed memory of your mother trying to drown you in a bathtub when you were little.

You blinked and observed your surroundings, realizing you weren’t lost at sea. You were at TVA headquarters, in Mobius’ modest studio apartment. You were afloat in the darkness sitting up on his standard-issue mattress. You nearly tore the sheets apart during the nightmare.

As he tended to you, he at the edge of his bed, still wearing his work tie. It was late - or early? - but he was just returning to his apartment from an all-nighter of paperwork when he found you screaming in his - or what used to be his - bed.

It was a contentious agreement - you taking his bed while he slept uncomfortably in the sitting area on a small leather couch. But he had vouched for you as a TVA asset, therefore you were his responsibility. Ravonna pointed that out when he’d petitioned on your behalf for proper sleeping quarters.

For weeks prior, you had demonstrated trustworthiness under his leadership, but some Minutemen still held a grudge with what you did to their partners. After you had been jumped and beaten while in your “temporary” holding cell, Mobius had had enough. (You we’re outnumbered, for the record, and you only lost because you didn’t fight back. Whatever. Not your first rodeo. B-15 pressed you for names, but you stubbornly stayed silent. You were many things, but you weren’t a snitch.)

But in this moment in the dark of his apartment, you were weak, crumbling in the older man’s arms. You hated it. Wet streaks of tears rolled down your cheeks. Beads of sweat dripped down your skin, binding your cotton tank to your back. Pathetic.

“It’s okay,” Mobius repeated placatingly. His large hands were fixed to your shoulders, holding you up above the dark water of your fears. Those warm brown eyes held steady on you. You found yourself searching for them in the dark.

“You’re safe,” he whispered. “I gotcha. It’s okay.”

You tried to slow your heart rate as more tears threatened to gush from your eyes. He was staring again, you noted, intently studying your features. He watched you with the familiar look of sincerity and wonder he gave you each time you saved the day and stopped the bad guy. It wasn’t a look you were used to. It made you feel… special, even if you were supposedly a mistake.

But there was something else in his eyes. Gentle. Mourning. Pity.

He knew.

You clenched your jaw and tore away your gaze. How did he find out? Were you talking in your sleep? Not only were you crying like a bitch but you were babbling all of your traumatic baggage for the world to hear. Fuck. Now he knew. Now they could use it to their advantage. Just one more page out of your horror story that they could use to manipulate you.

Your heart was racing again, but this time you were enraged.

Fuck this fucking time-tax collector and his smug smile.

He loved reading you, didn’t he? Like a book.

He was invading you with that look. The way he gaped at you, like the words were printed on your skin. Now you were sitting there in front of him - open wide, falling apart at the spine.

“You’re shaking,” he whispered.

Why was he whispering? It’s not like they were in a play? Did he think this was some kind of movie?

Your breath hitched as the realization hit you.

The film. Your life saga and all your sins preserved in celluloid. He showed you brief glimpses of it in the beginning of your relationship, shortly after he talked you down from certain deletion after you had managed to wrap your chains around his neck in an intense standoff with six angry Minutemen.

He was calm. Compassionate. He treated you like a human, even as you were learning that you were a pawn. That every scar, every pang, every bruise, every atrocity that had been done to you and by you were all part of The Plan™. And the one time you detoured away from your dark path, you in fact, had made a mistake.

He showed you the highlights of the film, but you got the picture. However, at the time you didn’t quite understand that he’d seen it all. Every graphic detail. This unassuming, mild-mannered, steely-eyed man knew you more than anyone ever had. Maybe even more than you knew yourself.

Here he was now, eyes fixed on you, patiently waiting. Nothing other than your cooperation in hunting variants had been asked for or expected. And if he was going to force you to comply by waterboarding you, or trapping you in a time theater where you could relieve your greatest (horror) hits, why hadn’t he done that already?

He gently spoke, releasing you, “Can I get you anything—?”

“I’m fine,” you bit off, steeling your soul.

He paused and considered you. Watched you. His gaze softened with a gentle nod. “Okay.” He stood from the bed without another word and left you alone.

Where you wanted to be.

Part 3

A/N: Like this story? Reblog!

[mssjynx]

Mic: ON

dreamnap oneshot 3687 words warnings: steamy!!  ao3 link

-

“Sapnap. Don’t send it.”

Dream’s warning voice held a lot more threat than usual coming through Nick’s headset, and he suspected it was because the two now shared a house. He was all too aware of his friend’s presence only two doors down, and had it just been the two of them, Nick probably would have already given in and saved himself an ass kicking. Dream was a noticeable few inches taller than him, and definitely stronger though Nick would never admit it outloud. 

Nick was good at picking his fights.

Or he was, usually. 

But with Dream in one ear, and Quackity, George and Karl in the other, he was tiptoeing the line of a very pissed off Dream. The three idiots had been egging him on for the past half hour, begging him to send the video since the moment he’d mentioned having it. And he wasn’t actually going to send it, he just really enjoyed stirring Dream up and he knew the other three found it just as funny. 

“Sapnap! Sapnap! Sapnap!” Karl’s chanting overlapped the other two voices, Alex making odd monkey sounds as George laughed himself into hysterics. 

“Send it, Sap! You have to show us, you have to.” George’s words were gasped out between wheezes in his comically high-pitched voice that appeared whenever he was losing his mind laughing at something. 

Nick knew that if any of them laid their eyes on the video, they would never ever get over it. 

He’d captured the valuable video the night prior when Dream had overslept an alarm that he’d set for a recording session with the Among Us crowd. When Nick had crept in there to wake him up, a task he dreaded after the first time he’d done it and successfully pissed Dream off for two full days, he had been met with a sight he never thought he’d see. It was too good to resist flicking out his phone and capturing the moment. 

Dream had been splayed out across the bed, three pillows tucked under his back and his head tipped back off the mattress entirely. A trail of dried drool stained his cheek and his slack mouth was releasing a mix of whistling snores and little snuffling sounds as he slept. His fourth pillow was clutched to his chest in a grip that made Nick feel bad for it, white knuckles making Nick gulp as he crept back out of the room and returned to his Discord call to pass on the disappointing news. 

He had intended to keep the video to himself, locked away in his phone for a later day of humiliation. He hadn’t intended that later day to be the day following but he made the mistake of mentioning the beautiful video and it had all gone downhill from there. 

Karl, George and Alex were relentless when they wanted something, and to say they wanted to see this video was a huge understatement. 

“We need to see it, Sapnap, it’s worth the risk! It’s worth it!” Alex pleaded. 

“The risk!?” Nick snorted, offended by the lack of care. “I’m gonna get my teeth kicked in, Quackity! The risk is my impending death.” 

“It’s worth it, it’s worth it!” 

“Vouch!” 

Karl and Alex were a terrible influence on each other. 

“Guys, Dream’s scawy,” Sapnap said, hoping his baby “uwu” voice would soften Dream’s heart. He knew that whether he sent it or not, Dream was going to kill him for taking it in the first place. 

“You haven’t seen ‘scary’,” Dream muttered and Nick shot a weary glance to the door of his office. There wasn’t even a lock. 

George whined, adding his own baby voice to the mix, and Sapnap could practically see the stupid pout he was wearing when he begged, “Please, Sap. He won’t actually kill you!” 

Dream’s scoff was dry and humourless, “Oh, I will,” and Nick could hear the exhaustion that layered his irritation. He’d been up for over twenty hours editing his upcoming video and keeping the guys company in their streams. He knew that Dream was ready to collapse into bed the second he could, but the risk of his pride held enough weight to keep him upright for the time being. 

Nick almost felt bad for him, except he remembered the horrific photo that Dream had shared with their chat less than a month earlier. 

This was only payback; well, it would be if Nick was actually going to send it. But he was better than that, he was the bigger man and he also valued having all of his teeth and an unbroken nose. 

With a sigh, he reached to click delete on the keyboard to remove the video from the textbox. The ominous ‘Sapnap is typing…’ that sat at the bottom of all of their screens had only added to the excitement (and anger), but he knew that they’d had their fun and it was over. When he tried to snatch up his water bottle at the same time, his device unbalanced in his fingers and the thunk of it hitting the carpet was accompanied by the little “shwoop” sound of a message sending. 

Every voice except Dream’s exploded in the call and Nick froze in his chair.

“Oh god,” he whispered, dropping his bottle and scrambling for his phone. “Oh, no, no, no- I didn’t- It was an accident, I dropped my-” His voice was drowned out by Karl and Alex’s cheering, hysterical laughter pouring from George’s end. Dream’s icon vanished from the call and the slam of a door opening reached Nick’s ears.

Dream’s footsteps were loud and angry.  

“Guys, guys, GUYS!” His bedroom door burst open and Nick threw off his headphones, ripping the cord from his PC as he stumbled out of his chair. The look on Dream’s face made Nick genuinely fear for his life as he backed up away from Dream. 

“Oh my God, he’s so cuuuute!” Karl cooed. George howled with laughter. 

Nick had messed up. He had royally screwed himself, and today was the day he was going to die. “Dream, Clay. It was an accident, I was going to delete it and I dropped my phone and- I wasn’t actually going to send it, I swear. I promise. Pinky promise? What if we hug and make up?” Words tumbled off his tongue with panicked desperation but Nick knew a losing fight when he saw it. “Dream?” he tried weakly when Dream stepped forward, but the stoic glare didn’t shift. 

He could hear Alex calling Dream’s name, futile attempts at rescuing Nick from certain death. But the laughter that drowned him out only sealed his fate.

He was completely and totally done. 

Dream lunged for him and an embarrassingly high-pitched scream ripped from Nick’s throat. He bolted to the bed, clambering over the mattress with his eyes on the open door. But his chances were shot when a rough hand grabbed his ankle, yanking him backwards and off balance. His face slammed into the mattress, cutting off his yelp, and he barely managed to squirm over onto his back before Dream pounced. 

“You’re done, Nick,” Dream snarled, and Nick knew that it was his turn to be mortified. He caught Dream by the upper arms, straining as he kept Dream’s hands just inches away from his own shoulders and face. “You’re such an asshole, I told you not to send it!” 

“I told you,” Nick gasped, his arms aching as he turned his face away from Dream’s clawing fingers, “I didn’t mean to!” 

Dream growled, glaring down at Nick for a second before spitting: “Liar.” and throwing his weight to the side. Nick lost his grip and within seconds Dream had hooked an arm around his back, pinning Nick’s head between his arm and his ribs. The wrestling training Sapnap did back in middle school leapt to the front of his mind as he got his arms around Dream’s middle and tried to push him back. They both grunted and yelped, jabbing fingers into sensitive spots and cursing as they wrestled and fought. 

From the computer, the other three were cheering them on, placing bets back and forth. Except they were all betting on Dream and Nick couldn’t even blame them as he scrambled on top of Dream’s back for half a second before he was thrown off.

A jab to his stomach knocked all the air out of him and in seconds he was flat on his back with his arms pinned either side of his head. He gasped for air, face hot and red from exertion as he blinked his dizzy eyes up at Dream. 

He made a weak attempt at getting one leg between him and Dream, hoping to plant a foot to his chest and shove him back, but Dream shoved his knee down into the muscle of Nick’s thigh and a shot of pain at the pressure cut his escape attempt off.

The grin on his face made Nick’s head spin faster, though he didn’t know whether it was fear or adrenaline that flipped his stomach like a pancake.  

“Dead,” Clay declared, proud and smug as if it was at all a fair fight. He was six foot two for Heaven’s sake. 

“Shut up, you’re such a dick,” Nick spat, craning his head off the mattress. The grip on his wrists tightened and Dream pressed them harder into the mattress, leaning his weight into his knee. Nick yelped in pain, wriggling in a weak attempt of dislodging his roommate. 

Dream scoffed. “Shouldn’t have sent the video, should you?” His sneer was twisted with a satisfied grin and Nick would have been relieved to see that he was more smug than angry if that smile didn’t trigger every fear sensor in Nick’s body. 

“Well, look- Ow- You got me now, so… you don’t have to, uh, kill me or anything! Wouldn’t want you to go to prison now,” he says, awkward chuckle leaving his lips. He hears Karl and George lose it from the computer speakers, quiet but distinct enough to heighten Nick’s irritation. They weren’t helping him at all.  

“No chance.” Dream narrowed his eyes. “I want some sort of compensation. You have to let me post whatever I want from your twitter,” and the crooked grin he wore told Nick that his revenge would be far worse than the five second video of Dream snoring. 

“No way,” he said, shaking his head and yanking on his arms. The taller man leaned his weight onto his wrists and Nick gave up on fighting. “Get off me, Dream.” 

They both ignored the three amigos cheering in the background, this time for Nick’s demise.

Two-faced assholes...

“What’s your password, Nick,” Dream asked, cocking his head to the side with his sly grin. He was, humiliatingly, completely at Dream’s mercy and his stomach twisted at the thought.

It was definitely the first time that they’d been so close to each other; Nick had never been able to see this much detail in Dream’s face. For a moment, he got distracted by the little scar that marred the right side of Clay’s top lip, wondering when and how he’d gotten it. When his lips twitched down into a confused frown, Nick snapped back into the moment with the realisation that he’d been staring at Dream’s mouth. 

He snapped his focus back up to Dream’s eyes, unable to miss the way his brows were creased with thought, and pushed a defensive snarl onto his own mouth as he glared up at Dream. “It’s not happening,” he said bluntly, hoping the embarrassed red of his cheeks could be passed off from their wrestling. 

Dream’s frown deepened with annoyance. “What’s your password, Nick?” he repeated, pressing his thumb hard into the inside of Nick’s wrist. He watched Nick’s face with an intensity that definitely hadn’t been there a moment ago, murky green eyes flickering over Nick’s features as searching for something specific. 

“Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!” 

“George, you dick!”

“He’s from Florida, man! He’ll do it!” 

The pressure on Nick’s inner wrist made him grimace and when Nick forced out a rough: “No, Clay,” he squeezed the other wrist harder, pinching the skin. The jolt of pain mixed with the tingle in his fingertips; Nick sucked in a deep breath and bit down hard on his bottom lip as he desperately tried to think of a way out of this situation. 

His train of thought was slammed to a stop when Dream’s eyes snapped down to Nick’s mouth like a magnet, time screeching to a neck-breaking halt. For a moment, neither of them moved. Dream’s grip loosened on Nick’s wrist but he didn’t even consider moving away, unable to focus on anything other than Dream’s gaze locked on his mouth and his own heartbeat slamming in his chest, in his throat, in his head. 

His lip slipped out from between his teeth, and out of reflex, he flicked his tongue to soothe the sting, and he could not ignore the way Dream sucked in a breath sharply through his teeth. Nick watched his pupils swell and he couldn’t say anything about Dream’s pink cheeks because he knew his own were just as warm. 

And then it was like a flip was switched. Dream clenched his jaw, eyes flicking back up to Nick’s with a clarity that caught him off guard. “Fine,” Dream said, voice low and even. He stuck his tongue in his cheek for a moment of thought, and Nick tried desperately to keep up with the hidden thoughts behind Dream’s eyes. “Have it your way.” 

Those words ran through Nick’s mind just once, before one wrist was released. Before he could even think to make his escape, rough fingers caught him by the jaw, tipping Nick’s head back as a grin flashed over Dream’s lips. 

Then those lips were on Nick’s. 

Dream kissed him and he kissed him hard, sinking his teeth into Nick’s bottom lip without waiting for a response. The jolt of pain dragged a grunt from Nick’s mouth, and he pressed it up against Dream’s, allowing the thumb on his chin to drag his lips apart. Clay kissed him hard and deep and hot and Nick gave it back just as rough and unforgiving. 

His free hand jumped to the back of Dream’s head, threading fingers through loose blonde hair as he tilted his head up into the kiss. He craned his head up off the mattress, nipping at Dream’s tongue when it flicked his top lip. With a fistful of hair in his hand, he smirked into the kiss and yanked hard, dragging Clay’s mouth off him so he could gasp in a breath of air. 

It was only a moment before Dream caught Nick by the wrist, shoving his hand back down into the mattress. Except this time, he slipped his fingers up, interlocking them with Nick’s as he kissed him. He pressed his tongue past Nick’s lips, growling at the sharp bites Nick delivered in return. 

He’d forgotten about Clay’s knee on his thigh until the pressure vanished, Dream instead using his knee to push Nick’s leg to the side. It only felt natural to drag his knee up, dragging his ankle along the backside of Dream’s legs and pulling on the back of his thigh.

Even when they were kissing, they were fighting. Nick tried to press up against Dream, squirming and yanking on his wrists all the while trying to chase Dream’s tongue back into his own mouth. “Dream,” he growled when the Clay once again blocked Nick’s tongue, shoving his head back down against the mattress.

“Shut up,” Dream snarled, shifting his knee up the mattress between Nick’s legs. It wasn’t close enough and Nick’s underwear was too tight and too hot for him to handle. He bit back an irritated whine, and blushed at the smirk on Dream’s face. 

“You’re such a dick,” Nick bit, squirming when Dream put both of his wrists together and with one hand, held them both down. His other hand caught Nick by the jaw as he scanned the Texan boy’s flushed face and kiss-worried lips, holding him still despite how Nick shifted and fought, wanting to get his hands on Dream’s shoulders, in his shirt, in his hair. 

He was frustratingly intoxicating and Nick could not get enough. Dream who smelt like heat, like sweat and aftershave. Dream who dug his fingertips into Nick’s jaw and chin, grinning while he tilted Nick’s head back so he could kiss him deeper. 

The tongue that pressed into Nick’s mouth was hot and greedy as it teased his own, and Nick could feel the smug glee that oozed from the man above him. “Takes one to know one,” he whispered against Nick’s cheek, before pushing Nick’s head all the way back and dropping his mouth to the curve of his throat. 

Somewhere in the back of Sapnap’s head, he registered that he could still hear the other boys. Their conversation, the video, the fight; it felt so much further away with Dream’s tongue abseiling down his neck, and numbly he wondered if the boys had forgotten they were there. 

The sweet trail of kisses that crept up the side of his neck were followed by a sharp bite to the skin just below Nick’s ear, and he couldn’t stop the cry from spilling from his mouth. Grinning lips and a cruel tongue smothered the stinging pain as Nick groaned; words of: “Fuck you, that hurt,” being followed by a moan he couldn’t bite back when Clay’s hand disappeared from his jaw and reappeared between his legs, pressing flat to Nick’s straining arousal. The flush of pleasure that wasn’t quite enough dragged a helpless whimper from his tongue as Nick tried to grind up into the touch only to have it vanish altogether. “Clay-” he moaned at the greedy sucking on his neck, loud and desperate and without a touch of shame. “Fuck, touch me- Please,” he gasped.

And that right there was his second screw up of the night. 

“Woah, WHAT!?” 

“FUCK, no, my ears!”

“Oh God, oh no, that’s- they’re not fighting anymore, that’s not fighting!” 

The clamour of voices exploded from Nick’s computer, their previous quiet conversation completely forgotten as all three men’s heads were undoubtedly flooded with scenes they didn’t want to imagine, ever. 

Dream vanished from on top of Nick within seconds, bolting to the computer as Nick scrambled to sit upright. His face was burning hot and he could barely catch his breath as he watched Dream smack a few buttons on the computer before rounding on him. 

His own cheeks were flushed bright red and the look of alarm would have made Nick laugh had their situation not been as embarrassing as it was for the both of them. “You didn’t mute your mic!?” Dream demanded and Nick stared back at him in disbelief. 

“What, was I supposed to anticipate that!?” he snapped back, squirming under Dream’s dirty look. He was still embarrassingly turned on from their… activities, and he had no idea what was even going to happen now. 

They were best friends who lived together, not horny teenagers who jumped each other when they got a little bit worked up! 

Dream rubbed his face with his hands, taking a deep breath and holding it. After a second of silence, he let it out with an exhausted laugh, shaking his head as he lifted it to look back over at Nick. “Well, that’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation,” he said simply, and Nick couldn’t help but laugh as well. What else was there to do?

“At least they weren’t streaming,” he offered and Dream snickered at the thought, tapping a few more buttons until the screen went black. Nick dropped back onto the mattress, hands on his face as he took a few breaths. His heart was still racing like crazy, and the pressure between his legs was starting to ache. 

When he pushed back up onto his forearms, dropping a hand to readjust himself as he lifted his gaze to Dream. Sharp, green eyes were locked on him, more specifically his hand, which paused in its movements under the intense stare. 

Nick watched with bated breath as a small smile twisted Dream’s lips, eyes dragging up over Nick as if considering all the things he could do to him. Wondering what was going through Clay’s head made Nick’s stomach drop and head spin. Dream slowly returned to the edge of the bed and Nick sat up further, unsure if he felt more scared of excited by the look in Clay’s eyes. He moved to drag his legs back towards him, but before he could get very far, Dream’s hands were locking onto his ankles, one hard pull dragging Nick to the edge of the mattress. 

He tipped his head back to look up at Dream, biting his tongue when Dream cupped his cheek, running his thumb along his bottom lip. 

“That’s an issue for another day,” Dream said, wetting his lip with his tongue as he tipped Nick’s head back further. He shifted back, arms barely holding him up as he tilted his head away from Dream’s hand. 

“Oh yeah?” he asked, a nervous laugh dropping from his mouth as he scooted back further. 

Dream nodded, grin unfazed as he crawled onto the mattress. A hand to Nick’s chest pushed him back onto the mattress, another hand sliding up the inside of Nick’s leg. “Yeah,” Dream said, ghosting his fingers over the front of his sweats and watching Nick bite back a whimper. “Kinda busy right now.” He dipped down, capturing Nick’s mouth in another kiss; this one sweeter and softer than any of their others. He coaxed a soft sound from Nick’s throat, sucking his bottom lip and drawing his tongue out to flick against his own. 

“Busy?” Nick gasped when Dream pulled back for a breath, both hands falling to the waistband on Nick’s sweatpants. 

“Yeah,” he said with a sly grin, “Really busy.” 

[weirdthinkingdragon]

Welcome To The Family (3/???)

1/ 2

Warnings of bad babysitters, and a couple swears but I think that’s it. Also sorry if this seems more of a filler chapter. Can’t believe I might have made a filler chapter with my favorite character. -_-

--------------------------------------------------

It’s been a week since that night. Shinsou even started joining Eri and me with things now with a small smile instead of a glare. Aizawa is the last one that still doesn’t really care for me I’m pretty sure. Today they didn’t need me to babysit since the students at the school kept begging them to bring Eri to see again. Who can blame them? Eri can melt the heart of anyone. 

I was already told a few days ago to call Yamada by his first name, but it’s rather similar to Shinsou’s. I still keep getting them mixed up in my head. I still prefer to call them by their last names. Why can’t I just keep calling them by their last names? My fault for wanting to be friends with them I suppose. 

Yamada texted me he wants me to come into his recording studio tonight. Something about finally having the chance to know me better? But don’t we pretty much know everything about each other already from him reading my summary and I knowing him from his professions, as well as Eri telling both of us things about each other?

Eh, I didn’t have anything planned to do today anyway. 

I waited for it to get later in the day and head towards the location of the studio. He’s also a teacher, so it would be better to arrive a bit later, knowing he will be there then as well. I might ask him for a ride back to my home though if he’s willing. I don’t really want to walk alone at night back to my place, considering here is a much farther distance to my place than their house to mine. Kind of surprised to not have run into a villain yet. Here’s to hoping I never do.  

Entering the tower, I’m greeted by someone unknown sitting at a desk. She has a rather deep frown on her face as she saw me enter and walk up to the desk. I feel like a nervous wreck trying to tell her I’m here to see Yamada. What if he forgot to tell her and I get humiliated? 

Okay, that might be a bit ridiculous. No one else is around. “Hello. I’m here to uh… See Yamada?” Her frown deepens even further. “Farthest room on the right.” I walk towards the door. Hospitality much? 

I knock on the door and wait for him to answer. 

“C’mon in, Y/N!” He yells through the door. His voice was rather quiet, so the room must be incredibly soundproof. I enter the room and see Best Jeanist sitting on a chair in front of him. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” I ask. 

They both shake their heads. “No, we just finished a bit ago,” Best Jeanist does a weird hand motion over his hair? “I’ll be leaving now. This was a pleasant time.” He gets up and leaves. 

After a bit, I sat in the chair he was just sitting in, and it felt rather awkward between us. The warmth of the seat not aiding in much comfort. 

“So… Is the woman at the main desk usually in such a mood, or is it a bad day today?”

He laughs. “She’s been like that for a while!” 

For a while? “What made her like that?” 

He shakes his head. “She still digs me. A while ago we tried having her as Eri’s babysitter, but it didn’t go well with how uncaring she was for her. Sho and I could both tell she couldn’t have cared less for our kids and was rather disgusted finding out Sho and I were married. She still kept tryin’ though, so we had to kick her from babysitting.” 

“That explains why she seemed so annoyed with me when I asked her where your room was.” 

He nods. “Yep! It probably doesn’t help I teased her by tellin’ her you’re our new sitter!” 

I give him an incredulous look. “Why would you do that?” 

“Ah, don’t be so worried! I just told her how you’re already a way better sitter than she ever was!”

I don’t really know what to say to that. It’s just what I’m supposed to do, isn’t it? “It’s just my job. But to be honest, Eri makes it way more enjoyable. Hate to say I have favorites, but she easily has to be in my top five favorite kids I ever got to babysit.”

He seems to grow even happier at the news, judging by his smile growing bigger. Jeez, how does his face get that big without strain!? “So glad to hear that! I Gotta say, we were close to givin’ up on the whole babysitter thing until we passed yours.” 

I tilt my head. “Why is that?” 

His face goes into a frown. “The first two were actually villains. The first was working with some villains in trying to get Eri. Luckily we found out the same day before leaving from our son using his quirk on them. The second was known for stealin’ people’s items, but the reviews were deleted so we didn’t know until it was too late. They didn’t take anything that couldn’t be replaced though.”

“Like Eri.” 

He smiles again. “Yep! But we obviously couldn’t have someone like that around us, ya know? So we caught them and turned ‘em in.” 

I nod. “That makes sense. Was the next one the woman at the desk?” 

He shakes his head. “Nope! That was the next one. The third one was pretty good. Or so we thought, but our son didn’t feel right with them being around Eri,” His fists clench tightly, and his frown is even deeper than before. “Turns out he had an obsession of bein’ in charge and kept bossing Eri around when we weren’t home. Making her clean everything and took the credit. I went home early one day and caught him in the act.” 

My heart twinges knowing Eri had to go through EVEN MORE than she already did. “Please tell me you decked him for it.” 

He smirks. “Sho wasn’t too happy at me for it, but fuck yeah I did!” 

“Glad to hear!” I smirk. “I bet Shinsou was all for you decking him as well, knowing him.”

He nods. “Yep! He told me if he was there, he would have done the same thing!” 

“Sounds like him.” 

It goes quiet between us after that. I keep trying to think of something else to talk about, but my mind keeps coming up blank. Surprisingly or not, I’m not nearly as good at talking with adults as I am with kids. They’re usually easily distracted, and bringing up one thing can make them go into an hour of talking about it.

“Just curious, do ya ever listen to my show?” He suddenly asks. I’m so thankful he’s able to come up with something. 

“Sometimes. I was introduced to it by a child I babysat before. I wasn’t too appreciative of the tantrums he would throw when he couldn’t listen to it though. It also took a bit, but your show started to grow on me.” 

He smiles again. “Glad to know I’ve got some good hard fans listenin’ in!” 

I roll my eyes with a smile. “I don’t think his parents would agree with you, but go ahead and think what you want.” 

He smiles and shrugs. 

I can’t help but suddenly try to clear my throat from how dry it seems in here now that I notice. He notices, gets up, and grabs a bottle of water from a stand not too far from his seat, passing it to me. “Here ya go! Sorry for it bein’ so dry in here. One of the previous people using this room has some desert-like quirk. Gotten pretty used to it myself!” 

I take the bottle. “Thanks, Hitoshi.”

He stops for a moment and blinks at me. “I think ya mean Hizashi, my dear listener!”

.

.

. 

Oh. OH. FUCK!

I let out an embarrassed groan and couldn’t even look at him in the eyes, making him laugh incredibly hard at my reaction. “Don’t worry about it! They do seem rather similar, don’t they?” I just reply by nodding my head. Not being used to their first names really came to bite me, didn’t it?

Hizashi’s phone started to ring. He sees who it is, and answers it.  “Hey babe, what ya need?” He’s quiet for a second, but then his eyes widen as he turns and looks at the clock. “Shit! Sorry, guess time slipped by! I’ll be there shortly!” He then hangs up. 

“Hey, we gotta pick up Eri and Sho from the school. Since you’re here, I could drive ya if you want!” Hearing that is more relieving than having to ask him. “Sure. If it’s not too much trouble.” 

“Not at all!” 

As we leave, I look back to see the woman glaring hard at me from being beside Hizashi. It’s already decided. The less I’m around her, the better. 

We walk down to his black car. I get into the back seat so his husband can sit in the front. On the left is the car seat for Eri. I’ll get out when we get there so Shin- Hitoshi can sit in the middle. I really need to get them straight now before I get embarrassed by saying the wrong name again. 

Huh, the seats are incredibly comfortable. They’re also a beige color. Some reason, I was really expecting a different color. Not judging though, since I don’t even have one. 

It stays quiet between us until we enter the school area. It’s crazy to see in person. Aizawa, Eri, and Hitoshi are waiting outside by the entrance. I exit the vehicle, and she brightens upon seeing me. I get tackled into a hug by her. “Hey, Eri! Good to see you again!” 

“Even though it’s only been a day?” Hitoshi teases. 

“Admit it. You missed me too.” I tease.

He smirks. “Maybe, maybe not.” He teases back. 

Aizawa’s expression is unreadable as he looks at me. I decide to just give him space and accept he might just never like me. I’m honestly a little scared to try since he might get pissed off at me instead of not liking me too much. That’s a scary thought itself. He sits up front while I help Eri get into her seat. Shin- Hitoshi waits for me to walk around and sit in the middle. Maybe to keep them straight I could call them Toshi and Zashi. Would they mind that? That seems maybe too unprofessional though. 

“Do you want to drop me off first, or your family first since my place is farther away, Hizashi?” 

“I think we can go to your place first. Kinda curious to see your place, dear listener! I heard your place is rather lively!” He looks into the mirror at me. “Oh! And ya got the name right this time!” 

Really? Why do you have to embarrass me in front of your whole family!? I groan and hide my face with my hands. 

“This time?” Aizawa questions. 

“They accidentally called me our son’s name! Ya shoulda seen their face when they realized!” 

I take my hands off my face. “You didn’t have to tell them that! I’m sorry! I’m not used to your first names yet!” 

Hizashi and Hitoshi both laugh at me. Hitoshi’s was more of a snicker. 

I decide to try to change the subject to save myself from the embarrassment. “So, you know where it is, or do you need me to tell you the way?” 

“Nope! I got it memorized already!” 

“Good to know.”

----------------------------------------------

We all talk a bit more on our way to my place. “Oh yeah! Hey, Y/N!” Hizashi suddenly pipes up when I was saying some joking banter with Hitoshi. 

“Yeah?” I question. 

“Are ya goin’ to the festival next week?” 

I shrug in reply. “Not really sure. I was thinking of maybe spending a bit more time with my neighbors since I haven’t done that very much for a while.”

None of them seemed to be too happy with that I think from their silence for a minute. 

“You could come with us. I’m sure Eri would like you to come.” Hitoshi informs. 

Eri nods enthusiastically at me when I look at her. My brows narrow in thought. “Isn’t that a family day for you guys though? I really don’t want to intrude.” 

For the first time since I’ve met him, Aizawa replies to me. “It’s not intruding if we’re inviting.” 

I look at Eri again, who is beyond pleading me to go. Damn it, how in the world can I say no to her? “I guess my friends could wait a bit longer. Sure, I can come.” 

“Great! We’ll pick ya up that day then!” 

It’s easy to tell we’re getting close to my place by the music that blairs into the car. 

… Are they seriously playing “It wasn’t me” by Shaggy today? I can’t help but laugh while everyone in the car but Hizashi is confused. It’s a nightly occurrence I’ve finally gotten used to, and sometimes even join them for a bit. I’ve learned quite a bit of English from them as well. They’re great neighbors. Honestly they’re one of the reasons I don’t move out, though now I could. This place has gotten rather cheap rent from these rambunctious people. It started with two, and soon the whole building became nothing but chaos. They’ve been frowned upon by many for their ways, but they couldn’t seem to care less. No noise complaints? No problems. 

“What are you laughing at?” Hitoshi questions. 

“Just my neighbor’s choice of song tonight. I’m beyond surprised they haven’t gotten into trouble for it yet.” 

“You can understand it!?” Hizashi excitedly exclaims. 

“Mostly. They taught me some English from me being here.”

Even though Hizashi seems like the type to like many types of music, he doesn’t seem to like the lyrics too much. Well. it IS about cheating after all. I’m beyond thankful Eri doesn’t understand any of it. Both from probably being too young, and not knowing the language very well yet. 

“What’s the song about?” Eri questions. 

Uh… “You don’t want to know. It’s a gross song.” 

“Why laugh if it’s gross?” 

I reach over and gently pat her head. I’ve finally gotten close enough she no longer fears my touch. “You will find out when you’re older. It’s an adult thing.” 

She seems unsure. “O...kay.” 

Hizashi pulls up to the building. My crazy friends being outside dancing their pants off as usual. I laugh at them and shake my head. Hitoshi gets out for me to exit. They all freeze and stare at me as I exit the vehicle, Hitoshi immediately getting back in. I wave at them and head towards my friends. 

My closest friend, Ryo, comes up to me. “What up, my friend?” They put their hand up for a high five. Just another rare thing these people like to do. I high five their hand.

“Not much! Just got back from another day of sitting! You know, the usual!” Sadly I can’t tell them the truth from the promise to the heroes. 

They take a quick glance at the car, then back at me with a whistle. “You sure got the jackpot huh? Bet those are some lucky kids!”

“It’s nothing much. Kids are kids. They’d like anyone that’s kind to them and listens to them.”

“Ah, don’t be so modest now!” They get me in a headlock and rub my head in a jokingly aggressive way. “Any kid is lucky if they get you as a sitter!” 

I laugh and force myself out of their grip. Hizashi quickly pulls away in the car in the process. 

We enter the building, and I’m incredibly glad they didn’t ask to come in. On the outside the place looks fine, but the inside is pretty much falling apart. Walls peeling, and the floor thin enough to feel the vibrations of the music underneath. Hey, at least we never have a mold problem. It might be from someone here who has a mold-absorption type of quirk. How he discovered it, I don’t want to know. 

I’m rather tired today, so I’m not joining them. Ryo seemed to notice, so they went back out to the others. I just flop onto my bed and almost immediately fall asleep.

[inkweaver22-blr]

Four for four baby! This is perhaps the last of my daily updates as I’ll be busy the next few days. Here’s another little filler chapter but it’s a good one as it’s the first one where we directly see references to other creators’ Monkie Kid works! There’s three references here, two subtle and one explicit. I’ll make sure to have links to each work in the notes at the end of the chapter. Hope you enjoy!

AO3 Link

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Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Four: Childish Behavior

Tang often feels like the only adult surrounded by children. Literally sometimes.

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If there was one thing Tang had learned about these timelines he kept jumping between was that they were consistently inconsistent.

The minor details that changed randomly but never really affected the outcome of the events from his original time were still abundant and rarely phased him much anymore.

(Although that one time he had platinum blonde hair had been interesting.)

It was when entirely unique situations arose that the scholar was caught off guard.

New events sprung up every now and then and inserted themselves between the original ones. As with the smaller changes, these new scenarios were unpredictable and varied wildly in scope.

A surprisingly durable MK clone that somehow managed to escape being dispelled, gaining independence, and becoming Macaque’s apprentice.

An ocean demon sinking ships just outside the bay and Sandy getting to go on that water adventure he wanted.

MK’s birth parents trying to reinsert themselves back into his life after seeing his achievements on the news.

(Tang was so incredibly proud of his kid for standing up for himself and refusing their empty platitudes. The pranks that he, Mei, and the Monkey King had pulled on them in retaliation were great stress relievers.)

Since Tang could still do his best to help out in each new event without horrible consequences, it seemed the rule of “No Interference” did not apply to them. He supposed that made sense as he had no way to predict when or if they might occur and thus couldn’t change an outcome he didn’t know about.

He was grateful for that small mercy at least.

Still, with how these cycles seemed to be endless so far, a few of these events would happen over multiple timelines.

Getting de-aged by a mischievous trickster demon or spirit was a strangely common occurrence.

MK seemed to be the most popular target for this particular curse. The brightness of his personality seemed to shine even stronger whenever he was reverted into a child, which simply made Tang love the kid even more.

(He wished he could have helped the Monkey King tear Macaque apart for kidnapping their precious little one in that cycle.)

They all had their own turns of having their biological clocks reversed of course. Mei was a little trouble maker, Pigsy was a shy and timid toddler, and Sandy liked to have things he could break apart. Tang couldn’t clearly remember the times he had been de-aged but was pleased when an exhausted Mei and Mk had said he was the easiest of the adults-turned-kids to take care of.

Then there was the Monkey King.

Having to corral a rambunctious young monkey with the strength to crush boulders and the ability to duplicate or shapeshift was not easy.

(He still had no idea how MK had managed to do it alone once.)

With the amount of times they had all been subjected to this specific curse, Tang only really had himself to blame for not seeing it coming.

Tang poured over the scroll in front of him, trying to find the counter for this timeline’s version of the curse. Behind him, Mei distracted a de-aged Red Son, or Red Boy as that’s what the small fire demon was calling himself.

Getting kidnapped by a somewhat feral child with the ability to freely toss around the True Fire of Samadhi hadn’t been the most pleasant start to his day. While being mistaken as the monk Tang Sanzang was a little flattering, the threat of being roasted over the sacred blume flames and eaten had quickly dampened those feelings.

Luckily the young demon had fallen asleep, the fires dissipating as he lost consciousness. If only Tang knew how to cast the Monkey King’s fire ward...

“Ahem.”

Tang glanced up and paled at the sight of a displeased looking Demon Bull King.

“Little thief,” the demon addressed an equally freaked-out MK. “I believe you have something of mine.”

“Father! You’re here,” Red Boy called out as he jumped from Mei’s arms. “I have wonderful news! I’ve found a husband!” He quickly ran over to a petrified MK and leaned against him like he was presenting some great treasure. “Look! Look! Isn’t he pretty?”

Tang had almost forgotten about that particular detail. If they got out of this alive he was never going to let MK live this down for the rest of the cycle. Prerogative of being a dad and all.

“What do you think father,” Red Boy continued, ignoring MK’s desperate plea for him to stop. “I can marry him, right?”

DBK’s expression was frankly unimpressed as he stared down into the hopeful one Red Boy wore. Tang had a bad feeling about what was going to happen and slowly made his way around the room to hide behind MK and Mei who were also backing away.

“No.”

Tang winced a bit at the bluntness of the answer and braced himself for the explosion that was sure to follow.

“What? But… why? WHY NOT?!”

The genuine hurt and confusion in the young demon’s voice would have made Tang feel a bit sympathetic, if Red Boy hadn’t tried to eat him of course.

“Because I said so,” DBK growled as he knelt to be closer to his de-aged son. “Now, enough of this. Time to stop being a child.”

Tang frowned. That was... not how to calmly explain to one’s child about why you were refusing their request. Not if you wanted to avoid a full-on meltdown. He should know, having to take care of a young MK multiple times.

Looking into the Demon Bull King’s scowling visage, he wasn’t sure if the older demon simply didn’t know how, or just didn’t care.

“That’s… NOT FAIR!” Red Boy’s disbelief predictably turned into anger as his hair once again burst into blue flames.

“THAT’S NOT FAIR! I am not a child!” The True Fire of Samadhi burst out around the boy, seeming to startle DBK who took a step back. Tang was just thankful that it wasn’t aimed at him this time.

“I… I’m not-” Red Boy’s anger quickly melted away, as did the fire around him. The young demon sniffed a few times before dropping onto the ground and beginning to cry.

Loudly.

“You’re recording this, right?” MK whispered to Mei.

“Obviously.”

Tang sighed at their antics and looked over at DBK. The demon still looked angry but the scholar could see the uncertainty in his eyes. He seemed completely out of his depth and unsure on what to do.

Tang took a steadying breath before mustering his courage and stepping out from behind MK. If Demon Bull King didn’t know how to act like a good father then perhaps he could show him.

If he survived this he was going to need a vacation to fight back against the grey hairs this was going to give him.

The other adults all looked at him as if he had sprouted another head as he approached the sobbing child and knelt next to him.

“Red Boy?”

“H-huh?” The young demon looked up in confusion at being addressed.

“I know that right now everything seems pretty unfair and that can be upsetting,” Tang soothed, keeping his voice steady and reassuring. “But I promise you that your father has a good reason for not letting you marry MK. Would it help if he were to calmly explain that reason without getting angry at you?” He aimed that last sentence more at DBK than Red Boy, who’s sobs had slowed.

“M-maybe…” the young demon finally admitted.

Tang turned to stare expectantly at the Demon Bull King. The demon glared down at the scholar.

“Why are you treating him like a child?”

The harshness of his tone made Red Boy start to tear up again. Tang glared right back at DBK.

“Because right now, until we can reverse this, he is a child,” the scholar snapped, his fear replaced with righteous anger. “And like every child, he deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. He deserves to be comforted by a parent whom he obviously adores and be told that it’s okay to cry. He deserves to feel safe and loved.”

The room was silent save for the hiccups and sniffles from Red Boy as they all stared at Tang. DBK’s mouth hung open as he gazed incredulously down at the human, seemingly struck speechless.

“F-father?”

The small and unsure voice of Red Boy snapped the Demon Bull King out of his thoughts, and something seemed to loosen within him.

Tang stood and retreated back to MK and Mei to give the demon some privacy as he knelt next to his son and began speaking in a hushed tone with him.

“What the hell Mr. Tang,” MK hissed into his ear as he stared wide eyed at the pair of demons on the ground.

“Language MK,” Tang hissed right back before leaning over to Mei. “I know you aren’t recording two incredibly powerful demons having a moment of vulnerability who would stop at nothing to destroy us if they discovered the existence of such a video, right?”

“Eep!” Mei nearly dropped her phone as she rushed to stop her recording and then delete the last few minutes of the resulting video.

There were a few minutes of tense silence as the three humans did their best to pretend that there weren’t two demons having an emotional moment together just a few feet away. They gave a sigh of relief when Red Boy launched himself at his father, wrapping his arms around his neck. DBK seemed panicked at first before slowly wrapping his own arms around the young demon.

Tang adjusted his glasses and gave a nervous smile to the Demon Bull King who was scrutinizing him like a particularly confusing puzzle.

At least he didn’t seem angry any more.

Perhaps they would escape this fiasco unscathed after all.

----------

I was not expecting this chapter to turn into another Dad Tang story. It just kind of happened that way. So onto the references!

First is Durability by TaintTheUnstoppable which is beginning to shape up into something really interesting.

Second is Little One by @its-kall-the-clown which is just a huge fluff fest capped off with some nice angst. Highly recommended.

Finally we have the Red Boy comic by @purble-turble! Now obviously the Tang in their comic probably won’t do what this one did, by this Tang is too much of a Dad to let a little kid cry for too long.

Next chapter won’t be up until sometime next week! See ya then!

[yan-twst]

Hello! May I request hc for the dorm leaders finding out that their female crush is only attracted to girls(female mc as a lesbian I stan-)? If you don't feel comfortable writing this then feel free to delete! I hope this was intresting ;-;

hell yeah lesbians rise up!!!! i included some of my own headcanons of how gay and lesbian stuff is in twst because i think it’s nice to have that there!

riddle rosehearts

riddle is immediately mortified- not because it turns out his crush is a lesbian, but because he’s now horrified all his “courting” may have come off as a bother or inappropriate. he’ll go beet red and apologize for that. he- he didn’t know! he didn’t mean to impose himself- argh!

is he heartbroken? a little. but he’s more worried that he may have come off as pushy. the queen of hearts may have been overbearing, but she never went out of her way to specifically bother anyone, and riddle feels the same way. he really really wants to make it clear he didn’t mean to bother her oh god-

once he calms down a bit, he’ll just, kinda... compose himself and apologize once more. if he had known, he’d probably not have made any advances (even though his “flirting” was more along the lines of inviting to unbirthday parties and sharing trey’s baking. it was nothing too invasive- hell, riddle’s crush wasn’t even aware he was flirting with her)

riddle will also bashfully ask if... well, even if he has no chance with her, he hopes that they can still remain friends. romantic or platonic feelings, he still really gets along with her- hell, everyone’s grown used to having her at the unbirthday parties, and trey already bakes extra for her every time.

he’ll take the title of being her friend with pride. riddle will quickly swallow down his heartbreak: this is something that has to be this way, and the fact that she likes girls simply means he’ll just be the best guy friend she possibly can have

leona kingscholar

leona “woman respecter” kingscholar takes the information well. he just kinda goes ‘oh’, nods, and takes a nap.

welp, there’s nothing to be done, so why get all sad and mopey? if the little herbivore likes girls, more power to her. welp, women are pretty and powerful. he understands why they like women. makes sense

leona is a bit sad, sure, but it’s only natural. he doesn’t dwell on it for long, though. if something can’t be changed, there’s no sense in thinking it over and over: he’s a man and his crush likes women, so that’s the end of that

despite it being so clear cut for him, he will take some time to talk everything out with her. he wants to make it clear: he was pursuing her romantically before, and he won’t anymore. he didn’t know she was a lesbian before, and now he knows

still, leona’s got a soft spot for the little herbivore. even though he might not be pursuing her anymore, it doesn’t change the fact he still feels like he’s gotta watch over her and help her. 

he’s just gonna be his usual grumpy self, really. he’ll still invite her over to practice magift, he’ll still tease them and call them “herbivore”. is he still in love? leona won’t ever mention it, really. does it matter? she’s his friend now, even if he calls her “annoying herbivore” whenever she wakes him up, and that’s pretty much all he could ask for

azul ashengrotto

fun fact did you know octopi have been seen displaying homosexual behaviours out in nature

which is to say, this isn’t anything new to azul. same-sex relationships are more common in his home than what he’s seen in the surface, but it’s not like lesbians are a new concept to him

oh don’t get it wrong he does cry when his darling tells him she’s not into men. he cries and then he lets her hug him until he stops. he then proceeds to be so mortified over it all he wishes he could go hide in his octopus pot

after apologizing for... that ordeal, azul will return to his usual composed self. it’s almost hard to tell he was a sniffling mess just a few minutes before if it weren’t for his puffy eyes

he composes himself quickly because, well... when he pictured himself getting turned down, it was always painful- old insecurities flaring, being told he wasn’t enough- but this was... not painful? it’s not as if he wasn’t good enough or something. his crush was just a lesbian! it’s not his fault, so it’s hard for him to feel sad over it

azul might even feel a bit bad for her. she’s... stuck in this all boy’s school, huh? the only girls here are probably the fae that control the weather... and the talking portraits...?

even though there’s really no girls for her to talk to, azul will still take on a protective attitude over her, giving the “if any girl breaks your heart tell me and the twins and we will avenge you” talk. azul doesn’t know why any girl would hurt her heart, because in his eyes she’s precious, but hey, he’s gotta protect his friend, right?

kalim al-asim

“wait you like women? oh me too!”

kalim takes it... so well. like, almost shockingly well? it’s like he processed the information in record speed, sorted out his own feelings immediately, and made peace with it all in a matter of seconds

kalim has many sisters around his age. one in ten people are gay. what i am getting at is kalim has lesbian sisters and so this revelation that his crush is lesbian doesn’t shake his world too much

he’ll admit it stings a little- love is a powerful thing, after all! but he thinks people who pursue others who are clearly not interested are scummy, and he’d never do anything like that

in his mind, it’s an easy ordeal. he trusts and likes her. she sees him as a close friend, and that’s the most he can be. so really, he should just be happy he’s as close to her as can be! he’s already at the top rung of being close to her, so he’s hit the goal, right?

kalim, god bless his heart, is that friend who will present his lesbian friends to any other lesbian friend he has. he has good intentions, but it might get a little tiring? and a bit overwhelming too when he brings up that he has sisters right around his age who are also into girls and suddenly he’s making plans for a big mixer party and oh god jamil please help and put a stop to this before it gets out of control please help he’s already planning a menu-

vil schoenheit

ooooh so she’s a lesbian ooooooh ok that makes sense. that makes sense. 

vil is like “oh! of course my incredible efforts into my appearance and into our friendship and in wooing her weren’t working. she is just not into men”

he’s almost surprised at how getting turned down like this just... didn’t bruise his ego at all. his efforts weren’t useless, he wasn’t doing things wrong, it simply couldn’t work! honestly, vil would have been more hurt if he’d put all this effort and his crush had been straight and still turned him down

hmm, so she’s into girls... then being here, in an academy full of men (who are, in vil’s opinion, horribly unrefined and ungraceful) must be rough.

just because he’s no longer trying to pursue a relationship with her does not mean that he’ll stop inviting her over for skincare or for trying on clothes. absolutely not. the fact vil even was attracted to her in the first place is because he saw her as someone with potential and that has not changed

he will immediately position himself as a big brother / best friend. just because he’s her friend doesn’t mean he’s gonna let her slack, though! he’s still gonna be checking she follows the skincare routine he set up for her, and that she’s eating and sleeping well- as much as he says it’s because he “wants to make her potential shine” or whatever, it’s just... overwhelmingly clear he just cares about her as a friend

idia shroud

out of all the ways he imagined getting turned down this has to be the one that he had NOT pictured and at the same time, it’s kinda the best one? crush was a lesbian so it wouldn’t work out, 10/10 turn down, didn’t make him go into a self deprecating vortex

once again, it’s the age old relief of “yes, i got turned down by my crush, but it wasn’t my fault, because it turned out she was a lesbian”. idia had ran so many scenarios of being turned down, of his crush being disgusted at him, that it all being resolved into her not liking men at all is... almost relieving?

and you know what. he gets it. when he sees his figurines and posters of his favourite idols and anime girls it’s like well duh of course she likes girls because girls are cute? 

he’s gonna have her rate his waifu tierlist. what? it’s not- it’s not weird, is it?! he’s just trying to bond, and- urgh, he kinda wants to know what her opinion on his waifus is. because his waifus are cute girls and she likes girls so ?? it makes sense? right? (idia might cry if she says his waifus aren’t That Good)

this whole ordeal might also result in the almost hilarious scenario in which ortho just straight up goes “Hey niichan, what is a lesbian?”

learning that his closest friend likes girls opens pandora’s box, the box being idia making his friend review every anime girl and gacha or visual novel girl that HE likes

malleus draconia

did you know reptiles are also quite gay? there’s even a species of lizard that’s just, entirely female. dragons are reptiles.

malleus, bless his heart, is not good at reading people. his crush will need to be Direct. trying to use metaphors like “I swing the other way”, or “I play for the other team” do nothing but further confuse him- when his crush finally cracks down and just goes “what I’m trying to say is I’m a lesbian” he finally, finally, understands what this is all about

malleus just... nods in understanding

he feels a little sad- it does sting, a bit, to know things can’t work out, but he’s also... happy. if she told him, that means she trusts him, right? 

malleus is happy enough to just have A Friend in general, even if he’d never admit he’s usually lonely. most people tend to run from him or be so intimidated they shiver when they hear his name. and yet, against all odds, he’s found a friend who likes being by his side, someone who didn’t know all the baggage that comes with his name. he’d be a fool to tear down that friendship just because he’s learnt it’ll stay platonic

also, as mentioned before, it’s not like homosexuality is some sort of taboo or odd subject. it’s actually quite common amongst the fae, especially those in Malleus’ kingdom. although he does say he can’t introduce her to any cute fae girls. he.... is not friends with any. (he just doesn’t have a lot of friends in general, but he refuses to say that because he... doesn’t want to sound “mopey”, lile lilia says he is)

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

#10: Felix, Part Two: The Episode Itself

Here’s Part 1

So, uh... here's the thing. I was going to divide this post into three parts, but I had to cancel the third part where I analyze the stuff involving Astruc defending the episode on Twitter, specifically a certain scene that really showed off some serious double standards in regards to the way Adrien is being written, because Astruc deleted most of his tweets regarding the episode. I wonder why he did that? I thought he wanted to expose himself publicly and interact in a peaceful way.

So yeah, instead of a big three-parter, this is going to be a two-parter, and I apologize for that. I might be able to do a third part if anyone has any screenshots of some of the tweets Astruc made after “Felix” aired. If you did, I would really appreciate it, but if not, it's fine.

Either way, let's just get this over with, because I have SO MUCH to talk about. My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts about Season 3, Episode 23 of Miraculous Ladybug, “Felix”?

So we start off with what Gabriel does for half of his scenes when he isn't Hawkmoth, monologuing to his (possibly) dead wife, Emilie about how Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous will soon be his and all that crap. Sure, he's sent God knows how many Akumas after Ladybug and Cat Noir, and they've all failed miserably, but I'm positive he's getting close to his goal.

After he finishes cleaning his and Emilie's silver wedding rings that sadly don't allow them to transform into Ultraman Ace, Gabriel goes to check on Adrien, singing to a statue of Emilie (glad to see the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree), intending to tell him that he is Hawkmoth.

Gabriel: There is something important I have to talk to you about. I think about telling you every day, but I don't know how to find the right words.

Adrien: I think I already know, father.

Gabriel: But, how?

Adrien: I've noticed how close you and Nathalie have become. If she can make you happy again, then... as far as I'm concerned, she's already part of our family.

Yeah, apparently it's obvious that Gabriel and Nathalie are close or something, with how casually Adrien assumes they're planning on starting a relationship. I mean, it's not like Nathalie is close to Gabriel because she's his secretary or something like that.

Gabriel's response isn't any better, as he immediately jumps down Adrien's throat for daring to assume he might try to move on from his wife.

Gabriel: How could you possibly think such a thing?! Nobody could ever replace your mother! As long as she is still in our hearts, she lives on!

Even Adrien's face shows he's a little taken back by his father's brief outburst.

Part of me likes to assume that Plagg is trying to not break out into laughter at how crazy Gabriel sounds, while Nooroo is mentally questioning the sanity of his master.

Plagg: Wow! Your father's like a piece of tomme cheese, where the rind's so thick it's almost impossible to get inside the center.

Adrien: Don't be so hard on him, Plagg. It's been a year today since Mom... went away forever.

Oh my God, just say she DIED already! Why are so many kids' shows afraid to say the D-word? How can I cite an episode of Caillou of all shows as something that that actually talked about death to it's audience in a nuanced way?

It turns out that Adrien's aunt is visiting for the day, as it's the one-year anniversary of Emilie's “going away forever”. We also learn that the gene pool in Adrien's family is so shallow, a toddler could swim in it, because Emilie's sister looks exactly like her.

Even better, her name is Amelie. I bet the parents thought naming their kids Emilie and Amelie was hilarious for like three minutes.

And of course, she also brought her son, the asshole of the hour.

Someone cue the Imperial March.

So Felix is finally here, and of course, he looks just like Adrien. It's almost like the animators didn't want to create any new character models for this episode, so they thought nobody would notice if they just reused a few. Seriously, towards the end of the episode, we see Felix wearing the Cat Miraculous on his hand, and none of the animators noticed it.

So while Adrien is happy to see his cousin, Felix isn't. I'll talk more about it in a minute.

Amelie mentions that the wedding rings are actually heirlooms in her side of the family, so she naturally wants them back. Of course, Gabriel, being Gabriel, responds accordingly.

Gabriel: These rings are obviously very special to me.

Amelie: And they're very dear to me too, Gabriel. Those jewels have always been in the Graham de Vanily family, not the Agreste's.

Gabriel: We'll discuss it later.

“Yeah, yeah, these rings are priceless family heirlooms or whatever, but why can't you think about how important they are to me?”

Meanwhile, Marinette and her friends are planning on recording some messages for Adrien to cheer him up on this day, but Marinette isn't sure what to say before she decides to confess her love to him. I'm sure Adrien will get the message and return Marinette's feelings this episode... and Cliff Hanger will finally escape that cliff he's been hanging from for years.

Speaking of, Adrien and Felix are hanging out in the former's room where we learn that Felix's father passed away recently. We don't know how long, but with the way they talk about, it's clear the funeral wasn't too long ago. Keep this in mind.

So while Adrien leaves the room to get a chess board for the two to play a game of, Felix, for no reason, decides to search through Adrien's things and crush a piece of cheese that Plagg had been aging for two weeks. And here is the interaction that helps this episode go from mediocre to aggravating, just because of what they imply here.

Adrien: Listen, Plagg. Felix lost his dad not so long ago, he's probably not himself.

Plagg: I'm sorry, but there's just no excuse! You never touch my cheese, and yet, you just lost your mother not so long ago, right?

Yes. The show is actually implying that Adrien is better than Felix because Adrien isn't acting out because his mom “went away forever”. Keep in mind, we know that Felix just lost his father, while Adrien has had a year to cope. I'm not saying he can't be sad anymore, as everyone processes grief differently, but you can't set up Felix as a foil to Adrien just because they both lost a parent, as their situations are entirely different.

Oh, and when Plagg's statement upsets Adrien, it isn't because he's angry at Plagg for making the comparison, it's because he mentions Emilie. And this argument is never brought up again.

I still can't believe this episode is basically saying that even if you lose a loved one, that's no excuse to get emotional. This isn't just a horrible lesson to teach children, but it pisses me off on a more personal level. Why?

My grandfather died last year after a long battle with lung cancer.

He had been in and out of the hospital for a few years at this point, and part of me was relieved that he was finally free of the pain. I tried not to let it bother me, as I had already mentally prepared myself for the day he would die whenever he was readmitted to the hospital. But it was still painful to go through because he was so important to me. Instead of simply telling someone how I was feeling, I threw myself into my schoolwork in an effort to distract myself from actually confronting my emotions. After seeing A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, a movie where the main character made peace with his father on his deathbed with some encouragement from Mr. Rogers, it made me think about how unhealthy it was to bottle up my emotions, so I started to open up more about how I was feeling. When I told my mom (who was his daughter) about why I was so conflicted regarding his death, she said it was completely understandable, as she had been an emotional wreck as well. I also talked with my therapist about how this was affecting me mentally.

What does this have to do with the episode? I don't think Felix had access to this kind of emotional support when his dad died, or that he tried coping the same way I did initially.

And the worst part is that this could have been used to teach people a lesson on how to cope with losing a loved one. Maybe Adrien could have helped Felix find a healthier coping mechanism, or simply help him open up emotionally, teaching him that it's okay to be upset when someone close to you dies, but that you just need to be honest about your feelings.

But no, rather than portray Felix's actions as a troubled youth lashing out because he's angry at the cards the world dealt him, Felix does several awful things this episode for no other reason than because he's evil, even though he has a good reason to hate Adrien and Gabriel.

So the very next scene, we see Felix has stolen Adrien's phone and is going through the messages that Adrien's friends sent him, but not before insulting his crush on Ladybug. I'm not sure if that's supposed to reflect the fandom's criticism of Adrien's crush on Ladybug, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was.

Nino's Message: Hey, my dude! I'm not quite sure what to tell you, except that, you're my man, dude! And bros are always there for their guys!

Felix: (Mockingly) “Bros are always there--” blah, blah, blah! Moron.

Rose's Message: Unicorns have a saying: even when there's nothing but gray skies and rain, all it takes is one little sunbeam for a rainbow to appear!

Felix: Loser.

Max's Message: It's one hundred percent proven, you should feel fifty-two percent happier with a healthy dose of laughter. So Markov has uploaded a few jokes for you! Starting with--

Felix: Freak.

Chloe's Message: When my mother left for New York, I felt so sad. It felt like she was... (sighs) She came back, and I know how lucky I am. So, you can count on me, my Adrikins.

Felix: Chloe. Just as annoying as usual.

And that line right there is the only time Astruc actually liked writing Felix, as it gave him the chance to satisfy his need to insult Chloe.

And then when he sees Marinette's message, he deletes it because... hell if I know

Again, this scene could have worked if it was interpreted as Felix saying stuff that he wasn't dependent on others for support and that he could easily power through life on his own, but nope! Instead, he hates Adrien's friends and only deletes Marinette's message instead of all of them simply because he's evil, heart blacker than Don Cheadle.

Felix continues to show how awful he is by dressing up in Adrien's clothes and—Oh, son of a bitch, SERIOUSLY? This is the SEVENTH evil doppelganger plotline we've had in THREE SEASONS! You're telling me this isn't doing the same thing over and over again, Astruc?

Yeah, so Felix records some messages to send to his friends that, once again, could have worked if this episode was actually teaching a lesson about dealing with grief.

“Adrien's” Message:  First of all, thanks so much for all your messages, guys, really. Sending me messages on today of all days... (angrily) to remind me how sad I'm supposed to be feeling? Why, that's great! Really, Thanks a lot!

But because nobody ever considers how Felix is feeling, it's never acknowledged, because that would actually involve writing him with complexity.

Gabriel gets a message from Lila, who recently became one of his confidants to spy on Adrien, tells him about the fake message, and decides to use the negative emotions felt as an excuse to get rid of his in-laws. No, seriously.

Gabriel: All this disappointment might just help us get rid of our unwanted guests.

To be fair, I'd probably do the same thing just so I wouldn't have to talk to some of the people I hate at my job.

And so, Hawkmoth akumatizes Alya, Juleka, and Rose into the Punisher's Trio, who are basically just their previously akumatized forms Lady Wifi, Reflekta, and Princess Fragrance. Because why would you expect anyone to use an original character model for this episode?

All joking aside, this development raises several questions. First, why wasn't Nino one of the Punisher's akumatized? He's Adrien's best friend, so shouldn't be just as upset as everyone else? Hell, the whole reason he was akumatized into the Bubbler in Season 1 was just so he could throw Adrien a birthday party after Gabriel said no. Then there's the fact that Chloe could have also been akumatized because she's just as close as Adrien, which is another wasted opportunity here.

Second, why bring back Reflekta and Princess Fragrance of all villains? It doesn't even make sense when you consider their motifs are based off of the circumstances that led to them getting akumatized in their respective episodes. Juleka became Reflekta because of her anxiety over easily blending in, so she got the power to turn everyone into an exact copy of herself so they could understand the feeling. Rose became Princess Fragrance when Chloe destroyed her letter and perfume bottle dedicated to the prince of a foreign nation, so the perfume bottle was the basis of her powers. At least Lady Wifi makes sense as the akumatized object this episode is a tablet used to record the messages to Adrien, but Reflekta and Princess Fragrance have nothing to do with the plot of this episode, and just feel tacked on. If it was just Lady Wifi or the Bubbler, I'd get it, but this just doesn't work.

Third, what exactly is this show's obsession with Reflekta? We saw in Reflekta's first episode that her powers had a huge drawback as if either of the heroes is zapped by her, she can't get their Miraculous, like what we saw happened to Cat Noir. Yet, this is the second time this season that Hawkmoth had the bright idea to bring back Reflekta (even giving her a giant robot to amplify her powers). At least Lady Wifi and Princess Fragrance's powers worked together well (Lady Wifi could freeze someone in place, while Princess Fragrance can brainwash them with her perfume), but Reflekta just feels like the odd one out here.

Fourth, and most importantly, why did we only get to hear the line “At your service, Princess Fragrance!” A single time this episode?

So the Punishers head to Adrien's house to take their revenge, but see Felix, still dressed in Adrien's clothes, and are naturally confused. Adrien pretends to be Felix by running away while laughing evilly (so not too far off from how Astruc sees Felix), while the real Felix and Nathalie put up a good fight against the Punishers.

And then... here is the moment that shows just how skewed Astruc's view of Adrien really is.

Felix pretends to confess his love to Ladybug as Adrien, trying to force a kiss on him, making Ladybug punch him in the face by claiming that the real Adrien “would never be so pushy”.

BULL. SHIT.

Yes, Ladybug doesn't know that Adrien is actually Cat Noir, but it's clear that this scene is meant to solidify just how Felix is far worse than Adrien because according to Astruc, he would never do that.

But maybe I'm being too hard on him.

It's not like Adrien has ever forced himself onto Ladybug, right?

I mean, imagine if the show just ignored something like that.

All while trying to teach kids the importance of saying no when someone harasses them.

Can you imagine if someone was that oblivious to their own hypocrisy?

I'm not saying that the lesson is a bad one, but you can't call someone out for doing something bad, and then ignore one of your main characters doing the exact same thing!

Even in the context of the episode, the comparison doesn't work. We know that Felix is only doing this to make Adrien look bad, and has no romantic feelings towards Ladybug like Adrien does. Felix knows what he is doing is wrong, while Adrien doesn't. Whenever Cat Noir tries to kiss Ladybug, he is never aware that what he is doing is wrong, and while he is almost always stopped from kissing Ladybug for one reason or another.

Like when the episode tried to compare two different characters reacting to losing loved ones when there are different circumstances regarding them, the comparison DOESN'T WORK.

And to add insult to injury, Cat Noir shows up just to insult Felix by implying he doesn't have a lot of friends because of the way he acts, because why would he? After all, he's a complete loser that nobody would want to be friends with, and if you like him, you're an idiot for thinking so! At least, that's probably what Astruc was going for.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, leading to a brief Mexican standoff, until Felix steals the tablet containing the Akuma, making a deal with Hawkmoth that he'll help out the Punishers as long as he gets the wedding rings. Do you hate Felix yet? Come on, do you hate him? WHY WON'T YOU HATE HIM, GODDAMN IT!?

This whole bit is completely pointless as Ladybug immediately finds a way to stop all four of them and de-evilize the Akuma.

And when it looks like Felix is actually apologizing for his actions this episode, it's naturally a ruse he put on to steal one of the wedding rings from Gabriel to give to his mom. Because why would Astruc even think of portraying him sympathetically, or at least have him learn a lesson?

So Felix stares out the window with an evil look in his eye (possibly foreshadowing another appearance), as Gabriel takes Emilie's wedding ring to wear for himself, and the episode mercifully ends.

It also means that I never have to watch this episode ever again.

Do you understand why it took so long for me to fully analyze this episode? Hell, it would have taken longer if Astruc didn't delete his tweets defending the kiss scene and how Cat Noir is totally a gentlemen unlike Satan, I mean Felix.

What else do I have to say about this episode that hasn’t already been said? Well, I do have one thing.

I’m not that big a fan of Felix.

I think he’s an okay character in fanfics, but I’m more indifferent to him and fanfics that ship him and Marinette together. I don’t know, maybe that’s because there are so many Felinette fanfics that are heavily seasoned with salt, or it could just be because I’m complete Love Square and Lukanette trash.

But just think about the fact that the scathing criticism of this episode was delivered by someone who isn’t that into Felix. That is how bad this episode is.

In addition to being an obvious mouthpiece for Astruc to yell at fans why they’re idiots for actually liking Felix, it does so by touching on delicate subject and trying to act like it’s easy to tell how Felix is worse than Adrien when the circumstances are nothing alike.

But the fact that Astruc takes a popular character just to portray him as a complete menace just to antagonize his fans is ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

[kidney9-9]

Vocal Lessons (Tom Holland)

Anonymous asked:

im actually a sucker for Tom smuts i cantttt, that vacation one was too good!!! Because i love the idea of the reader catching Tom entertaining himself with his hand (if ya know what i mean) could you maybe do a request around that, i don’t really mind how you do the story line, but make sure it’s extra smutty oh my🥵

hi anon! thank you very much :)) I’m glad you liked that one, and I hope you like this one as well! thank you for sending this in! feel free to send in any request you guys would like to see! Please Read the Warnings!! (no mention of protection, but can be imagined!)

Masterlist

Tom Holland x Reader (Smut with Plot) (Strangers/Client-to-lovers) Word count: 4.6k Warning: smut, inappropriate use of microphones and headphones, mirror sex, floor sex, strangers/client-to-lovers, frustration, oral (male and female receiving), teasing, small mention of smutty audio, cursing, masturbation, and dirty talk

-

The walls were decked out with pictures, and autographs of amazing actors and artists. Two chairs were seated in the middle of the room, with many microphones and a few headsets. The floor was completely dull, but up on the celling, was a mirror facing down on anyone who was in the room. You always thought you had the coolest job, getting to vocal train celebrities for movies and songs, but today you were feeling a little ticked off. You have been working all day with actor, Tom Holland, who had absolutely no idea how to moan sexually in the microphone. It sounded ridiculous, to be seated there with a man, moaning into a mic, and trying to teach him how to copy it. You were trying your best, but he just really couldn’t do for some reason. When you met him, he was very kind to you, and you thought at most it would be a thirty-minute session.

You sighed out, looking at him with irritation and frustration as he coughed into the microphone instead of moaning. It wasn’t that hard in your mind, all he had to do was lean forward and let out a few noises, but he was proving it to be impossible. “Hey, okay let’s try another version.” You brought out, signaling to Tom to sit up straight, and breath in. He watched as you sucked the air in, tilted your head back and closed your eyes, breathing out the sounds, resembling moans. He shuddered at your voice; glad you didn’t see his reaction. You glanced over to him, as he tried copying your actions. But he just couldn’t do it, it was way too hard. You were just here moaning all day, and he was trying so hard not to make a sound, knowing he would embarrass himself with a popping boner. He already had one, but he was trying his best to hide it. You had no idea he was arguing with himself in his mind.

He felt guilty. The looks you were casting him were starting to make him feel like he was in a sauna, and he started sweating from the lights. It’s been five hours with only the two of you, moaning into the microphones, and he’s been trying so very hard not to listen to your moans. How was he supposed to though, when he was wearing the headphones? And to moan along with you? It was way too hard. You were very attractive, and with the way the lights hit you, and the sounds of your moans, he tried very hard to keep it down. He had failed though, and you didn’t even notice. He was so grateful that you didn’t even look down at his lap, because it was obvious, with the way he was crossing his legs.

You were also very much his type. He couldn’t help but be attracted to you, watching as you scrunched your eyebrows in concentration as you listened to him splutter out bullshit about why he couldn’t moan.

It was nearing six hours now and you had to take a break. It was getting too late and you were getting too annoyed. You didn’t want to come off as rude to him, but you were also so confused why he couldn’t simply moan with you. It was just so strange! It was an easy task, just let out a sound and sound like he’s having sex. But nope, you glanced back to his face, with hidden irritation, was this guy a virgin? You were just too confused. You had to leave, just get out of there for a bit, maybe grab some food.

“Hey, uh let’s take a break. I’ll be back in a few; you can stay here. Do you need anything?” You spoke up, pushing the microphone away from your face, and taking off the headphones. You internally groaned, thinking about all the audio recordings you’re going to have to delete after you finally teach him how to moan. Tom popped up, still with hiding his erection, and took off his headphones. “Yeah, sounds good! And I’m all good, you don’t have to get anything.” He smiled back, and you instantly sighed out, relieved.

You stood up and waved to Tom as you practically sprinted out of the room. You huffed out a breath, shaking your head again at the situation. You walked out of the studio and went down to the deli across the street. It was a great place to relax, it was usually quiet, and it had the best sandwiches. You ordered you favorite one, and sat down, with another sigh. You didn’t get your sandwich for a little bit, but you were alright with that, as long as you got some rest. Oh, how much you hoped you could finally get him to moan into the microphone.

Tom was fucking moaning now. He couldn’t help it, the moment you left for sure, he pulled his cock out. He felt relieved it was finally out of his pants and he gasped when he placed his hand around the base, closing his eyes lightly. He pumped it softly, gasping and moaning in relief, from waiting so long. His thoughts were surrounding all about you. When he heard he had to come here and get lessons, he felt so irritated. It made no sense that he had to be trained how to moan, and he expected the instructor be an old annoying man, but no, it was you. Tom felt so surprised, seeing you moan for the first time, and then immediately after he felt a twitch.

Now, all he could imagine was your moaning again, how your eyes closed tightly, and you moaned like you were orgasming. You told him to play along with you, but he couldn’t, he was too busy and enchanted by you, and started to twitch again. Now, he circled a finger over the slit, gathering pre-cum and smearing it down the rest of his cock. He pumped again softly, groaning from the relief, and he started going slightly faster, enjoying himself.

His mouth was propped open, and he tilted his head back, looking into the celling mirror with another moan. He could just imagine, looking up and seeing you slide your mouth over his cock sloppily, and the two of you enjoying yourselves. Another image faded its way into his mind, as he pumped harder but slower this time, now completely imagining you and him together. You would have your legs spread out, as he circled his tongue over your clit with loud sounds pouring out of the two of you. His loud groans and moans filled the studio, trying to work himself out of the hardness he tried so hard to fight. They echoed back through the headphones, as he slid his hand down over again.

You were three steps back into the studio, when you heard it. You gasped in relief, thinking he finally got it, how to moan into the microphone. You placed your bag onto the ground instantly, and ran over to the room the two of you were working in. In front of you, Tom’s loud moans echoed into your ears and you gasped again at the sight. He gazed over to the door, thinking he was just imagining the noise but once he saw you, he stopped. The two of you stared in shock at each other, and you both turned dark red.

Tom quickly took his hand off his cock, trying to push it back into his pants with utter embarrassment and fear. “I’m so sorry!” He cried out, stumbling up to stand, and wiping his hands on his trousers with a scared tremor. You were still in shock, but you kept replaying it in your head- the scene of his hand wrapped around his cock standing tall and moaning loudly.

You didn’t know what to even say, but a thought hit you, what if you just…play along? What was the harm in that? Nothing was, both of you were frustrated in very different ways, but you loved a good fuck. You took a small step forward, blinking and breathing in, trying to understand what to do. He was moaning, and you were stubborn- you had to do your job, but maybe you could do it in a different way? All he had to do was moan on screen, and maybe if he could repeat those lovely moans you have been waiting for all day, it would be considered a success. “Tom…” You trailed off, scratching your neck, still blushing on interrupting him. “What if- would you maybe want to do that again?” You asked, instantly regretting your words as his jaw dropped in shock at the suggestion.

“What do you mean?” Tom managed to press out, as he zipped up his pants, still shaky. You stepped over to your microphone picking it up and playing with it. “Moan,” You bit out unsurely, just hoping you weren’t overstepping boundaries.

Tom felt his eyes pop out, “Moan?” He questioned, stepping a little closer to you, now with a feeling stirring in him. Your eyes slowly gazed up and down his body with a small nod, making Tom shiver slightly. He took another step forward closer to you with a loud swallow, trying to understand you fully, “What do you mean?” He repeated, in a lower tone and gazed at you.

You sighed out, licking your lips and looking down at Tom’s lips. “I mean, do you want to play along with me?” You propositioned, and Tom felt his breath hitch, gazing back down to you, feeling his lust start to flare up again. He moved one of his hands closer to you, reaching out to hold onto your arm.

“Fuck…” He whispered out when you took one last step to him. You looked back up to his eyes, “Want to play with me, Tom?” You questioned, with a light tone, holding back a smirk as he shuddered slightly again. Your hand trailed up onto his shirt, feeling his heartbeat speed up.

Tom closed his eyes, and sighed out, making sure this was real, as your hand slid slightly further down. “Yes, fuck yes, please.” He spoke back making you snap your eyes back to his face with a smile now, happy that he agreed. Your smile made Tom shake his head at you with a small chuckle, “I’ve been trying to calm down for so long.” His confession made you raise your eyebrows with a spike of frustration.

“You mean, you weren’t moaning into the microphone because of that?” You questioned, pushing him back slightly, now feeling angry and horny. Tom gasped at your actions as you continued pushing him back all the way to the wall, still holding onto the wireless microphone. Tom hit the wall as you pressed your hand deeper on his chest as he started nodding frantically, “I didn’t want to- I just, fuck-” He paused as you dropped the microphone, not caring about the screeching feedback. Your other hand went down to his belt, tugging it free.

You brought your other hand to help, as Tom shuddered again at your movement. You quickly tugged it free, and you snapped it off with force, making Tom gasp at you. “Fuck, I just didn’t want you to see what reaction I had.” He explained, making you pause again looking up to his face with curiosity. You scoffed at that, and you dropped your attention from his trousers, quickly tugging his head down to yours.

You kissed him with a frenzied fury that he only met back with twice as much. This time, he pushed you backwards, while he walked back to his chair, kissing you even harder. You felt your legs knock into the chair, making you buckle back, and Tom leaned forward, not wanting to end the kiss. You ended up pulling away from him as you fell back onto the chair with gasps for air. Tom breathed in heavily, as the two of you gazed at each other.

“You made me wait for six fucking hours, Tom. Fuck…” You trailed off, wiping the saliva from your chin as he chuckled at your words. His hands went to his shirt, unbuttoning it, “To be fair, I wouldn’t have waited so long if I knew this would happen.” His words sent you into a silent agreement. You casted your gaze down to his chest now, after he shrugged off his shirt. He grinned at you when you looked back up to his face.

You stood up, flushing at every single action that went on between you and Tom as he zipped his trousers back down, leaving his underwear on. You didn’t make any movement to take your clothes off as Tom reached back down and slid his shoes off. You glanced back behind him, and walked over to the door, locking it and making sure no one else would see or walk in, like you did. But it didn’t really matter since it was only you two here now. You circled back to the wall, grabbing the microphone you dropped earlier and gazed back to Tom as he spoke up, “I’m sorry about how long we’ve been in here by the way.” His words made you blink, and you shook your head at him.

“It’s fine. Sit down,” You paused, turning back around and facing him as he raised his eyebrows at you, but still sat down into the chair. “Put your fucking headphones on.” You finished up, making Tom hold back a gasp. He didn’t make any move to take his cock out of his underwear, but it was starting to bother him even more. He took the headphones off the stand and placed them over his head as you brought your microphone up to your mouth.

You breathed out, feeling your heart race at what you were doing. But it felt good. You moved over to Tom slowly, watching his reactions as you lowered yourself in front of him. His legs spread apart with a touch of your other hand, and you whispered into the microphone, “You better fucking moan.” You were still angry at the fact he held it off for so long, but on the other hand, you were slightly impressed. He huffed out a breath of air at your words, starting to shudder as your hand moved closer to the top of his boxers, and you scooted even closer.

He chuckled at your words, grinning down to you with a flushed face, “Then make me.” He mumbled back, making you scoff. In an instant, one of your fingers slipped in under his boxers, and pulled the band back, letting it go with a harsh snap to his stomach. Tom flinched at the feeling, with his eyes widening back to you, “Fuck…” He trailed off when you rolled your eyes again at him. You didn’t move to take his boxers off still, instead ghosting your hand over his erection, making Tom hold back a whimper.

He wasn’t going to moan just now, of course not. He was going to try and wait it out but when you pushed your hand in slightly more, to hold onto his clothes cock, he whimpered at the feeling. You smirked, feeling satisfied with that little noise as Tom scoffed at himself, hearing it play back even louder through the headphones.

You moved the microphone right up to your lips, giving it a soft little kiss while staring back up to Tom. He shuddered again from the feeling, the noise bouncing into his ears. You grinned at the reaction, and leaned back down to the microphone, sending a slow lick. While doing that, your other hand stroked his clothed cock, and looking into his eyes. Tom bit down his lips, huffing out a few breaths and dropped his head back, finding his original goal of not moaning to be difficult.

You giggled out at him again, and moved the microphone down to your other hand, where the mic just lightly touched his cock, making Tom shudder. “Please…” Tom begged, gazing back down to you, hands going to your shoulders to pull you in closer. You giggled again from his beg, finding it satisfying and finally deciding not to tease him anymore. You moved the microphone to tug down his boxers, grinning at his relieved facial features.

The microphone barely touched his cock and Tom felt himself groaning at the relief. You raised your eyebrows, proud that he finally let out a sound like a moan. You pulled the microphone away, and took one of his hands, handing him the microphone. He left it in his grip, confused at why you gave it to him, but your hands grasped around his base, and you leaned down giving it a soft kiss. Instantly, Tom understood why you had him hold it right there, as he felt and heard the pleasure, doubling it. You smiled into your actions, feeling how he tensed up, gripping the microphone even harder.

You moved your lips further, closer to his tip, giving it an open-mouthed kiss, making Tom let out another groan. You kissed again, sliding your tongue on the underside, and Tom responded with another shudder this time. You pulled away slightly, only to go back pushing him into your mouth, gathering saliva over his cock, and you moved further down, collecting as much of him as you can.

“Oh, oh, fuck, shit.” Tom grunted out, trying to calm down, feeling your mouth and tongue on him, and the sounds you were making. He could feel the loudness in his ears, and he felt like he was experiencing euphoria. He opened his eyes, looking straight up to the mirror on the ceiling and he chocked on his moan, realizing his imagination was playing out.

Tom tried calming himself a little bit, but you licked and brought him back to your throat, making him whimper. “Wai- wait, I don’t want to-” He started, and you instantly pulled away, worried that he didn’t want to continue. You gazed up to him confused, as he continued to breathe heavily.

“I don’t want to come right now.” He finally explained, and you smiled back to him, laughing at his statement. “Yeah, that sounds good.” You agreed, standing up as he cursed at himself, looking down at his frustrated cock. He wanted to drag this out as long as possible, to get every pleasure out of it. He gazed down at your clothes with a shake of his head, “May I?” he asked, signaling to your outfit.

You nodded to him, as he stood back up with a smirk, immediately pushing your shirt up, over your head, and bringing you back into another heated kiss. You hummed into the kiss, opening your mouth to allow him to push his tongue in. You moaned into the kiss, making Tom groan along with you, and you felt a spike of pleasure run straight to your heat. He walked back towards the wall with you, still holding the microphone in one hand, as his headphones ripped off his head from walking too far away. You barely cared about the expensive headphones as he pushed you back against the wall, similar to your earlier actions. One hand snaked over your stomach, and up further to your right breast, giving it a soft squeeze.

You gasped as his fingers trailed underneath your bra and pinched at your nipple. Tom grinned, pulling away from the kiss and breathing hard, looking down at your chest. He moved the same hand back around your back, quickly unclipping your bra and tugging it forward to let it fall near your feet. You kicked it away as he quickly leaned down, sucking your nipple into his mouth. You gasped again at his bite, and Tom’s other hand quickly went to your mouth, twirling the microphone to the other end.

“Suck.” He murmured to you, pushing the end of the microphone into your mouth and you instantly started; gathering the spit around it as he turned his attention to your left breast. He smiled down at your breast, knowing you probably wouldn’t see, and leaned down giving it a soft lick. You whimpered around the base of the microphone when he took your nipple into his mouth, licking round and round. He softly sucked and bit, making you moan again, and he sighed again, finding pleasure in your voice.

You felt yourself throbbing as he licked away from your nipple, sucking and going back to your neck. You pulled the microphone out of your mouth when you started feeling lightheaded by it, and you tilted your head to the side, giving Tom more access to your neck. He bit down on your neck, making you gasp, and he continued sucking and licking, pressing little open kisses over you. He leaned back, breathing in greatly and gazing back to you.

“Still got to get you to moan.” You whispered, grinning as he laughed back, stepping a little away from you to wave a hand through his hair. He cocked his head back to you, “Do you really think you can?” Tom taunted back, making you roll your eyes playfully.

You pushed yourself off the wall, going back to the center of the room, and sitting on the floor. “Come join me,” You paused, looking over to him with an innocent feature on your face, “Pretty please?” Tom shuddered again at that and instantly followed your actions, coming down and laying back.

He glanced up to the mirror with a slight breath in, watching as you slowly shook your way out of your pants. His breathing came out unsteady as you both made eye contact through the mirror, and you leaned back down to sit. He shook himself out of the stance and turned his body towards yours, “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He whispered, leaning in and kissing your lips again. By now, your lips were all puffy and red, and saliva dripped down from your chin, and it was smeared across your cheeks.

You smiled into the kiss, before pulling back. The two of you took a few moments to gaze at each other in admiration and silence. You smiled down at his chest, seeing the sweat glisten from the studio lights and he broke the silence. “Can I?” He stuttered out, now feeling unbelievably shy as he wondered how this all happened.

“Can you what?” You questioned back, muddled by his shyness. He glanced down to your heat and you felt more redness travel to your face, “Can I eat you out?” He asked, sitting up and looking back down to you. You laughed at his question, instantly nodding, “Yeah sure.”

He grinned in excitement, shimmering down and going in between your legs, looking down in amazement. You giggled aloud from his facial expressions but once he looked back up to you, you quieted down. He smirked to you before going straight in with a long swipe, striking right at your clit and you gasped at him. He smiled at the noise and licked again, harder this time, and taking the microphone out of your hand. Your head was tilted back, watching from the mirror as he continued to lick at you. You gasped when he plunged two fingers in you, going back and forth as he licked around.

He finally stopped licking, and started sucking straight on your clit, and you moan loudly from the feeling of his fingers and mouth. “Fuck Tom!” You moaned out, feeling extremely happy this was happening. You glanced up to the mirror again, watching as he went down on you with lust and desire. The microphone in his hand came up to your entrance as he took his fingers out and looked back up to you with a silent question.

You looked back to him with a quick nod, and gasped when you felt the cold piece of the end of the microphone slowly move against your entrance. You were wet enough, and so was the microphone from your saliva earlier, and Tom slowly pushed the microphone past your entrance as he continued rubbing at your clit. Moans and groans came out of you as he pushed the microphone in, and you gasped at the feeling of being full.

You felt the throbbing continue as a heat flared up in you. You started feeling moaning more and more, “Tom, please.” You cried out, feeling him slide the microphone back and forth with force. He leaned down to the head of the microphone with lust as he licked around it, collecting your juices as you watched from above, shivering and squirming from the sensations. Right when you started to feel like your orgasm was near, Tom pulled out the microphone, smirking at you.

He quickly replaced the microphone with his cock, as he plunged back into you with a loud moan. “Oh fuck, how are you so tight?” He moaned out as you sighed feeling even more full now. He moved both his hands, gripping your hips tightly, and pushing back into you with another loud groan.

You moaned as well, but you couldn’t help the small chuckle coming out of your mouth, “Tom, you moaned.” You giggled out as he laughed along with you breathless. He leaned down, kissing you deeply again, and you opened your mouth, accepting his tongue. You groaned against his lips as he pounded into you again, this time deeper and slower. You pulled away from his kiss as you grinned to him, quickly rolling each other over, to where you were on top.

Tom’s eyes automatically fitted up to the mirror and he moaned at the sight. You were perked up on his cock, riding him feverishly. His hands went back to your hips, helping to lift you up and down, and you lulled your head back up to the celling with a sex-dazed look. You licked your lips as you and Tom made eye contact in the mirror, “Fuck, do you see the way I’m riding you? Do you like it?” You pressed out, grinding down deeper onto his cock, making Tom grunt out.

He was breathing heavily, “Yes, fuck, I love it.” His voice came out rushed as he started lifting you up and down faster with shaky palms. You nodded along with him, as you started to feel your orgasm build up again, “Tom, I’m going to come.” You muttered, breathing unsteadily as he slammed you harder and harder against his hips. He groaned at your words, feeling the pressure in him as well. You closed your eyes, moaning loudly, with your head dropped back, feeling yourself come on him. He gasped at the feeling of you clenching around his cock, helping him along, as he pulled you off with a moan. His come came out in spurts and you both watched each other in the mirror above you with heavy breathing.

“Well, fuck.” You whispered, trying to calm your breathing. You gazed back to Tom, moving the side of your head to the ground. He chuckled out, gazing back at you with a dopey smile, “Yeah, you made me moan.”

You two sat silently for a few moments, watching each other before breaking out into laughter. “Great, shit. That was good. Maybe next time just tell me you were horny, Tom.” You replied, wiping the sweat off his face with a small smile.

Tom sat up with a happy smile, “Next time?” He questioned, looking down at you with excitement. You nodded in return, huffing out a laugh, “Don’t you remember? I have you booked for the entire week; you also need to learn how to scream properly. Today was just for moaning.”

-

tags: @itscaminow​ @lozzypoz321​ (taglists are open for every character/person)

[missed-connections-of-fear]

on avatarhood post-fearpocalypse

Not sure how to write this one down. When I haven't been actively putting it off, I've been starting and deleting this for the past hour or so. I think a place of honesty is the best way I can carry forward. So, uh, four things:

1. This isn't really much of a lost connection. Sorry.

There are some people I encountered that I do, genuinely, want to see and/or hear from again. There are others that, while I don't want to see again, I am morbidly curious to see where they ended up. The only problem is that, well, in some ways I did lose connection! Internet connection. Voluntarily.

After the apocalypse, I just didn't touch the internet for months. It was annoying as hell, but I absolutely had to. For the first month after I got home, I kept most of my electronics in a box. Stayed as far away from social media as possible, and am still trying to. This is because--

2. My domain was... weird.

As in: my domain was my phone. I think.

No, I wasn't (physically) trapped inside of it, or attached to it in a dependent way. Well, I guess in some ways I was trapped in there, right? When I realized that my phone was... I don't know, malevolent? Influencing me? Influencing others? When I realized that, I tried to break it or throw it away a few times, but it'd remain in tact, or just come back like the world's weirdest boomerang.

But even during the apocalypse, it was just a normal phone (aside from not running out of battery). It was my only degree of normalcy, so I started to make diary vlogs. I thought it was really funny how TikTok was still operational, so I decided to post some there for kicks just to see what other people thought. Hell, I just wanted to know if there were other people still out there.

I didn't want to think about the implications. I still don't. Call me a coward if you'd like: I certainly do.

3. I need to find someone else like me.

The main reason I'm writing this here, now, is that I want to know I wasn't the only one who had a domain like this. I hadn't realized how literal some domains were until everyone else in my life started to talk about it, and for--er, reasons--I wanted to keep my mouth shut just in case whatever I said gave someone the wrong idea.

I really need to hear that I'm not the only one whose domain wasn't a place. I really want to hear that there's someone else out there who--I don't know, wasn't confined to a location but was still afraid. Apparently there were some people who just can't feel afraid and weren't affected, and there was this whole thing about Melanie King "severing a connection" or whatever, but... I was neither of those things.

I've always been a little emotionally detached, but that didn't mean I wasn't fucking terrified, y'know? I could see the Change from my apartment window and I thought my family's mental illnesses were finally catching up to me. There are so many things I thoughtlessly recorded that I ended up deleting once everything stopped. I don't even know why I thought it'd be a good idea to keep those, even if it was just to reaffirm to myself that it was, in fact, happening.

Recently I bought a new phone. The dread remains all the same whenever I look it.

4. I think I was an Avatar.

I tried to delay the inevitable as long as I could, but that was probably, deeply, unfair. And this is starting to get away from me very fast, so I think I need to get to the point, like, now.

I don't want to get too deeply into it--"it" being all the warning signs and personal trauma and whatever the fuck entails "becoming an Avatar." I might have even been an Avatar even before the Change; I genuinely don't know, but it doesn't matter much to me anymore.

(My personal opinion is that, in the apocalypse--and if evidence suggests, before it--there was a spectrum with two ends when it came to the entities: the fearful and the feared. One ate, one was eaten, and your point on that spectrum could be shifted at any time. Any time.)

That aside, I genuinely don't know what entity I "served" or whatever. It was part coping and part survival the entire way through for me. Beholding seems like the obvious choice, since I was recording and talking to people, but... I embodied a lot of other things too. I think if I explain it, it'll make more sense:

Sometime into making my vlogs, I started running into other people. They'd always be a little bewildered to see me, but whatever torture they were enduring or inflicting would just... come to a halt. In the beginning, I didn't even realize that the people were going through hell: I was just so relieved to see someone that I'd call out to them, ask them how they were doing, sit with them and just relish the company of a human being for awhile. I didn't even realize the camera was recording some of the time.

And those first few times, I'd practically beg the person (or people) to come with me. They always accepted, even though I was simultaneously super clingy and closed-off. They always put up with me and my stupid phone. But they were never able to stick around.

By the time I stopped remembering faces, I stopped asking.

I had resolved to find somebody important to me in the very beginning, so I was always travelling. But I never stopped trying to talk to anyone I found. I'd always say some shit like, "Care to introduce yourself to the viewers?" and, "So tell us what traumas are going into your cringe compilation," and other influencer lingo just to lighten the mood, but some things--referring to the "viewers" and speaking about myself in the plural--became reflex.

And our conversations always came with the expectation of speaking of some sort of trauma. A tiny part of me always looked forward to it: I always tried to remind myself that people wanted to talk about themselves, their problems, and to be able to talk; that I was just one of many people in a bad situation and that I shouldn't prioritize my own suffering.

But I think... well, if I describe it, there's no damn way I won't be called a sociopath by someone. So just assume that I uncomplicatedly enjoyed their pain and pat yourself on the back for being able to believe you're still morally upright after all this time.

Sorry. It's just... I've been thinking about how people might respond a lot. I've curated a lot of this just to make sure no one tries to witch-hunt me while still trying to keep my story believable.

I think that's a sign to stop digging my own grave.

Apologies for how long it got in the end there, haha. I'm trying to... not really put this all behind me, I don't think any of us can. I've accepted what had become of me--or, well, I'm in the process of it--thus why I'm back on the internet in the first place.

I haven't gotten rid of the old phone yet, because... I've been thinking about uploading some of the videos I've recorded. From the Fearpocalypse. I desperately want to delete all of it, to keep it out of reach (my reach, particularly), but I... I think it needs to be archived somewhere. Anywhere.

You’re not an advice column, but since I’ve already gotten this far… well, I shouldn’t ask more than that. If I upload those videos, and you recognize me or yourself, feel free to reach out. I live in East Texas, but I somehow stumbled across some domains in Britain, Egypt, Japan, the Philippines, etc… (I didn’t learn about the Entities until the late leg of the apocalypse, so I was just trying to find domains that seemed to connect to the fears of the person I was looking for. Lots of Lonely, Slaughter, and End domains.)

(ROSE’S NOTES: damn another long post, I don’t know what to say. I uh. I hope you can find comfort in the internet again. I personally don’t know what i’d do if I had that domain. The internet is a safe place for me and has been for nearly a decade. Damn. Rose getting into stuff she should talk to a therapist about huh? Anyways. I guess to make a post that’s already long longer, I hope this post has made you feel better. I hope you find someone to talk with who understands what you went through. Take care my friend)

[hotarutranslations]

#HelloPro36thCollection!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

I just finished a live stream earlier,

Nanba Kazumi's 36th Idol Compliation ~We're doing it this year too somehow! Hello! Project Special~"

We had it at Shibuya Tower Records-san!

Thank you very much for listening to the live stream 🥺❤️

Maybe its because we were surrounded in black as the room was a bit dark, I used the wrong filter or something, and our eyes may look kind of red but 🙏

the 2 hour live stream,

we were pushing it for 40 minutes~~~

that is to say, that wasn't the case!! lol Excuse me!! lol

it was possible that, it didn't look like that...... 🤔 I'll delete it first, its something trivial but its probably my defense,

Its my first time participating in,

"Nanba Kazumi's 36th Idol Compilation ~We're doing it this year too somehow! Hello! Project Special~"

but,

I have the impression that every year, Fukumura-san says its fun,

I really wanted to participate in it too 🙄❤️

Therefore this time we got to do it together, I was super duper happy about it but,

It was more than I imagined,

the depth of the perspective as a fan, the way of looking at the music is also deep,

I was thinking, wait this time is so deep--! 🤣 lol

Fukumura-san also has that kind of perspective, I was also happy thinking 'as expected--'...

I like Fukumura-san's senses towards Hello!

I really understand why Fukumura-san, looks forward to it every year 🤭❤️

There are people who are watching Hello Pro in this way,

With that, talking about that with the fans a well, like, I get it~ and thinking, oh, I see~ You can see that, right,

It was for sure going to be fun......

When we had a meeting, I like glanced and heard, we'd gone over on time... I didn't actually see the clock on the day-of so,

It was actually fun,

I thought, Yay! Talking about things I like--!

I was talking a ton!

I'm sorry for having gone over 40 minutes 🤣❤️

8:00PM~ Everyone planned to watch it for 2 hours, Was it fun until the end, I'm really sorry it was late into the night 🤣❤️

I'd be happy if you had fun

For myself,

Talking with Paipai Dekami-san and talking with Fukumura-san too, and also talking with Minewaki-san and Nanba-san,

I really enjoyed that high level of enthusiasm from everyone 😆🎉

I also talked about various things...... 😇 lol

Talking about choreography,

Not just with writing sentences, I was happy to talk about it from my own mouth like that, I felt like I was a bit relieved, from my frustration in not being able to make it happen 🤭🌷

Thank you very much for listening

(I think I wrote about this on Tokyo Sports, it may be the first time I mention the song titles, and the first time I talked about Homa and Mei, I feel like I wrote about it but how is it,,,)

(Tokyo Sports Series is Here)

I talked a ton but,

conversely,

I wanted to talk about things even more 😳⚠️ lol

In that way with these talk events, I think its been a while for this kinda things

We talked a bit about Budokan, its just talking about Budokan, I can do it for forever!

But with writing it on the blog, its difficult to convey things because my explanations are long, since through talking about it I can remember things,

I like being able to have talks in this way 🌷

If there are those of you who are thinking,

I'm interested in that... 😳 now!

Since there is an archival stream, Please definitely check it out--!

"Nanba Kazumi's 36th Idol Compilation ~We're doing it this year too somehow! Hello! Project Special~"

With the target CD, with all Tower Records in the nation (until the 30th), when you purchase it at Tower Online (until the 22nd), you'll get a serial code to watch it, by all means do it from there 📢

To all of you who listened to it today,

Thank you very much!

To you as well who will watch it from now on!

thank you very much!

I'm sorry Maa was partially cut out but,

Shibuya Tower Record-san!!! The Entrance!! I'm happy---!!

After the stream ended,

Tonight #HelloProDanceAcademy, is also airing tonight 😖⚠️

Thank you very much for watching that!

Its ok for those that end up missing it, it'll be on rerun,

details are here

By all means!!

I'm sorry for the late night update 😳🙏

Good night~

see you ayumin <3

https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12716067727.html

[idy-ll-ique]

Matchmaker.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Requested: Nope

Warnings: None

Summary: Steve Rogers, and Bucky Barnes' niece Erica decide to play matchmaker. It doesn't really go as planned...

Author's Note: This was already posted on my old account with the same name but since I deleted it, here you go again.

Y/N- Your Name.

---

Y/N and Steve stood outside Bucky's house. "First time here, how do you feel?" Steve smirked at his best friend. She shrugged, chuckling nervously. She did hear stories about Steve's suave, notoriously flirtatious friend from him before, but hadn't actually met him. Steve rang the bell and the duo waited for a few seconds. To Y/N's absolute surprise, a little girl opened the door. "Uncle Steve!" she cooed, running towards him.

He picked her up, laughing. "Erica! Darling, it's been so long since I last saw you!" he grinned broadly, kissing her cheek. "How's Aunt Peggy?" Erica smirked. Y/N burst out laughing as Steve went red, putting Erica down on her feet. At the noise, Erica finally turned to Y/N. Her eyes went wide as she saw the beautiful woman standing next to her Uncle Steve. Who allowed her to be so pretty? Erica liked her immediately.

"Are you Y/N?" she asked, remembering the words of her Uncle Bucky. "Uncle Steve is coming to visit us in the evening, he's bringing his best friend along. Her name is Y/N," he had said to her. "I am! It's nice to meet you, Erica." Y/N and Erica hugged each other. "Are you ever going to come in?" a deep, soft voice called out from inside the house. Y/N looked up to see the most handsome man she had ever seen grinning at them. "Buck! How are you, man?"

Steve and Bucky gave each other a hug. Erica was still hugging to Y/N and the grown woman had her arms around the girl. "Erica really likes you, Y/N," Bucky commented, smiling at her. When he got a good look at her face, her smile and how her eyes twinkled with happiness when Erica talked to her, he was instantly enamored. Y/N was certainly beautiful and he wanted her to be his. "So, Erica, how old are you, love?" Y/N questioned softly.

"I'm 10! Going to turn 11 in 2 months, I hope I get my Hogwarts letter!" Little Erica was a huge fan of the Harry Potter series. She loved the books more than the movies and had finished reading all of them more than 3 times already. She loved reading. "You like Harry Potter, too? That's awesome! Which house do you think you'll be sorted in?" The three adults settled down on the couches. Erica, meanwhile, made herself comfortable on Y/N's lap.

She didn't want the beautiful woman to leave the house again. It got super lonely being the only girl in the house, since Uncle Bucky's friends were all boys. Now that Y/N was with her, she felt relieved. It helped that they shared interests. "I want to be a Hufflepuff! They're sweet and they like food!" Erica laughed, grinning at the woman. "Really? I rather like Gryffindor. The brave house," Steve smiled, flexing his muscles.

Erica poked his muscles, giggling. "It's Slytherin for me. Cunning and ambitious," Bucky smirked. "You know, Y/N will make a fine Ravenclaw. She's super smart and witty, Erica. Did you know, she's a doctor?" Steve commented and Erica looked at Y/N, a wonder-filled expression on her face. With the beauty came brains? Awesome! "Well, not a doctor, per se. More like a doctorate, I have a PhD," Y/N blushed, rubbing the back of her neck.

"In which subject?" Bucky asked, surprised. He had a huge grin on his face. "Criminology," she answered and he nodded, amazed. "Do you catch thieves and murderers?" Erica asked, shocked. "Kinda, yes," Y/N chuckled. "Erica, why don't you show Y/N your drawings? Go get them from upstairs!" Bucky said suddenly. Erica nodded, hopped off Y/N's lap and ran towards the stairs. "Your daughter is wonderful."

As soon as Y/N saw Bucky, she was infatuated. He was sweet, caring and not to mention, handsome and smart. He was perfect in her eyes, but she couldn't help but feel guilty, too. He had a daughter, and probably a loving wife, too. Though, she didn't hear any woman in the house. "Oh, no, she's not my daughter. I'm her uncle, she's my sister's girl. Rebecca died a few years ago. This poor child had no one, so I took her in."

"How nice of you! I'm so sorry for what happened," Y/N frowned, tearing up. She shouldn't have commented. "It's okay, Y/N, don't worry. We're good," Bucky laughed, shaking his head. Y/N nodded and wiped her tears away. "You know, Y/N, Bucky's very much single right now," Steve smirked and the two looked at each other, blushing. "Cut it out, Rogers," Y/N hissed, nudging him in the ribs. He scowled at her, rubbing his side.

"How's Peggy? Doing okay?" Bucky blurted out, desperately changing the subject. "She's fine, as well as she could be," Steve chuckled. Soon, Erica ran down the stairs, tons of sheets of papers in her tiny arms. She dumped all the papers in Y/N's lap, grabbed Steve's hand and pulled him towards the kitchen. "I have to talk to you!" Bucky and Y/N, watched, confused. "What's— Oh, drawings. They're beautiful," Y/N smiled, going through the drawings.

Most of them were Erica and Bucky figures. Some were unusual, like nature or buildings. Bucky sat next to Y/N, explaining all the drawings to her. She listened patiently, unconsciously scooting closer to him. They were lost in their own world. Y/N could listen to his voice the whole day and Bucky could happily sit there and talk to her if it meant they would get to spend time together. Meanwhile, Steve turned to Erica. "What is it, troublemaker?" he whispered, grinning.

"Troublemaker? More like matchmaker! We have to do something about them!" She pointed to the couple in the sitting room. Steve nodded. "I was planning that, too. They'd be perfect for each other," he realized. "What can we do?" Erica asked, standing on a chair so that she could be of Steve's height. "I dunno…" he muttered. "Let's leave them alone for a few more minutes and see if their own conversation leads somewhere," Erica whispered to him. Steve turned to her, smirking.

"You'd make a fine matchmaker. Let's stay here." Suddenly, the chair under Erica tipped and she fell down with a huge crash. Bucky and Y/N looked up, alarmed. "Is everything fine?" Bucky asked worriedly. "A-Ok, Uncle Bucky! We're bringing snacks!" Erica lied easily and Steve gave her a thumbs up. Bucky and Y/N shared suspicious looks but gave up, shrugging. "That duo is chaotic," Bucky laughed, keeping Erica's drawings away.

"So, what do you do, Bucky?" Y/N asked him, smiling. "Just got out of my last job, I have applied elsewhere. Hopefully I'll get it," Bucky chuckled, running a hand through his hair. He leaned back on the couch, placing his right ankle over his left knee. "You will! I trust you. You're smart and I'm pretty sure they won't reject a handsome man," Y/N chuckled, realizing a second too late what she had said. "You think I'm handsome?" Bucky smirked.

Y/N went tomato red, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she stared at her lap. "I- uh," she stammered, laughing nervously. Bucky couldn't resist putting his index finger under her chin, tilting her head towards his. Their faces were too close now. "For the record, I think you're beautiful yourself," he breathed out, smirking at her blush. "Stop," Y/N chuckled, finally finding her confidence as she pushed his hand aside, looking away.

"Aw, come on Y/N, I mean it," Bucky whined shamelessly, scooting closer to her. He didn't have the title of 'notorious flirt' for nothing. Except, with Y/N, something was different. He meant every word he said. She was pretty and he wanted her to be his indefinitely. Not like the other girls is the best way to put it, he thought. She wasn't like any girl. She wouldn't give in to his flirting. The girls would've already kissed him by now.

"Bucky, there are kids around," Y/N hissed as Bucky leaned over, burying his face in the crook of her neck. "She's in the kitchen with Steve, they don't have to know." Y/N felt his smirk against her skin. She giggled softly, putting her hand on his thigh. "I would at least like a date first," she teased and Bucky pulled away, grinning. "You got it! How about this Saturday at 5?" he asked excitedly. Y/N laughed at his excitement, nodding. "That sounds good." Bucky leaned over again, kissing her cheek.

Steve and Erica watched from the kitchen with a raised eyebrow. They looked at each other, shocked. "Looks like we didn't have to play matchmaker," Erica whispered to the grown man, who nodded. "Say, Bucky, Steve and Erica have been gone for a long time, what are they even doing?" Y/N asked curiously, looking at the kitchen. Bucky put his arm around Y/N, also turning to the kitchen. "Guys! What are you doing?" he bellowed.

Just then, the kitchen door opened and out stepped Erica and Steve, a bowl of chips in Steve's hand. "Told ya we were bringing snacks," Steve shrugged, setting the bowl on the table between them. Erica walked up to Y/N, pushed Bucky's hand away and made herself comfortable on Y/N's lap. Bucky pouted at his niece as Y/N laughed, wrapping her arms around the sweet girl. "Hey, no fair! That's my date!" he whined.

"Good for you," Steve snorted, taking a handful of chips. "Leave some for us," Y/N chided, picking up one. "Are you two really going out?" Erica asked happily. The two adults looked at each other, nodding and smiling. "I'll babysit when you have to go," Steve said, giving Erica a high-five. "Yes! Aunt Peggy and I will drive you up a wall," Erica smirked. Steve groaned as Y/N and Bucky laughed. They looked at each other, soft smiles on their faces.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you liked it! It would mean a lot :)

[viole-tmoon]

Lamia

- summary: jungkook is a vampire hunter looking to party and wants his crush. oc is a vampire who just got cheated on. what could go wrong

- genre: angst

- word count: 4k

- notes: IN PART 3 THIS FIC CHANGES TO A READER INSERT. lmk what you think! this is a reupload from my old account that got deleted. i renamed this fic!! 

- warnings: vampire fic, indecent exposure, public nudity, talking through a bathroom door, possible death mentions(i don’t remember right now), alcohol mentions and usage, cheating, sex mentions

masterlist - part 1 - part 2 - part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m not gonna drink your piss,” I said sipping on my vodka tonic as I watched Sana point her bottle towards me. She rolled her eyes and picked at the glitter that was all over her boobs.

“It’s just Bud Light. I don’t like it just as much as you do,” she said still obsessed with the annoying glitter. I could almost feel glitter sinking into my hair from watching her. 

As I continued to stare at Sana’s boobs, I saw from the corner of my eyes my ex, who had broken up with me less than three days ago, kissing another girl. 

I was going to puke.

“What’s wrong?” Sana inquired. “Does this push up bra make me look too thirsty?”

I heard her but I couldn’t understand a word she said. I was watching the guy who almost proposed to me tongue punch a girl I was pretty sure was a freshman. 

I wanted to die. I wanted to die.

“Hey,” Sana said snapping my attention back to her. I nodded, eyes glued to the scene before me, and sat my drink on the counter behind us. Sana eventually got the memo and turned to the scene as well.

“Oh my God,” Sana said. “And I thought he had to ‘work things out’.”

“Shut up,” I nearly shouted. I knew I was being selfish and I didn’t care. I snatched my purse off of the counter. “I’m going to the bathroom...”

I could feel my best friend staring at me. It hurt more than she could ever know to feel her pity.

I knew she wanted the best for me but I’d never felt so much pain at once because of someone who I thought loved me. Her eyes asked if I was okay but I wasn’t at all and I wasn’t going to be. I wanted to scream at him and make a scene but my face was red with confused anger and I could feel my tears already falling. I needed to leave. Unfortunately, it was one of my oldest friends, Jongin’s, party so I couldn’t leave without hearing about it tomorrow and being asked every goddamn question in the world. 

Why was this was happening to me?

I was so sure he loved me too. All I thought we needed was a break. I thought we could be happy. I thought we were meant to be beyond time and space. I thought he was my one. Sure we’d broken up a few times but he’d never done that. The scene flashed before me again as I waded through the masses of my colleagues. I was conscious of the weight of their eyes on me. They were probably wondering what was wrong and why did I seem as if I were going to cry? Jongin noticed me and I rushed away. I didn’t want to deal with anyone other than myself right now.

.........................................................................................................................................................

{Jungkook}

“A man’s car is his life,” I said, watching my elder spray paint ‘Learn how to park’ in bright green on some poor fuck’s car. Yoongi had his tongue poked out as he observed his masterpiece. 

“If it’s his life he should take better care of it,” Yoongi said turning around and putting his hand on his juniors shoulder. 

I scratched at my forehead beneath my red cap and let the sound of leaves crunching under my shoes drown out the party. Yoongi was way too quick to anger sometimes, everyone knew it and he had quite a few enemies because of that. I watched Yoongi step closer to his friend's house, I could see that it was brimming with people. They were an hour late because Jin and Namjoon asked them to go to the store to pick up an exorbitant amount of Mountain Dew and 7up. Apparently, Jin was going to ‘surprise’ his ex who had recently left him for their professor.

“Anyways, I heard Jennie was going to be here,” Yoongi spouted as he opened the glass-paned door to the two-story house. He glanced at me with a knowing smile. Jennie was one of the few girls I had ever been interested in actually dating. She just had something about her that made her seem perfect to me. Maybe it was her eyes or the way she smiled when talking about physics but I wanted her.

“Cool,” I said nonchalantly and he chuckled.

The party was fun, while I was sober. While I was detailing a few girls about some of the trouble I’d gotten into last weekend Yoongi found me and convinced me that I had to leave if I didn’t drink five shots: in a row. After that, I wasn’t sure where I was until, about an hour in, Jennie’s eyes pulled me in, requesting that I spend quality time with her. I plowed through the waves of students, stepping on a few shoes and splashing alcohol under my boots. 

“I didn’t think you’d be here,” she said, emphasizing the ‘you’.

“Really?” I said, examining her and edging in on her personal space. Jennie was usually annoyingly busy so I’d never had the chance to get to know her. She was also normally dating someone.

“You never seemed like the type,” she said with a smile. I really tried to not let people know about my personal life at university. Most people in class thought I went home and studied. Everyone I’d met outside of class had a very different picture of me.

“And what type do I seem like?”

“Like you don’t want to be here,” she said. Her face seemed closer than before and I couldn’t help but smile. 

“I mean, I can imagine of a few places I’d like to be,” I said to her and she giggled with her bright smile. We spoke for a few moments longer before I felt the consequences of those five shots and excused myself to the restroom.

On my way up the stairs, I noticed the long forming line next to the nearest bathroom and sighed. Jennie was probably getting chatted up by another guy already and that was all I could think about. I waited for a few moments before I noticed Jongin, Yoongi’s friend who was throwing the party, and asked, in a whisper, if there was anywhere else I could go. He pointed me upstairs and told me that there was a bathroom in his parent's room.

 When I finally found that room, it was hidden behind couples making out, I heard distinct wines and groaned echoing from the bathroom chamber. 

If it wasn’t one thing it was another. 

I knocked on the door, softly. I didn’t receive an answer so I waited and heard a girl continue to cry and talk on the phone to someone.

“Yeah, he kissed her and it was really hot and steamy,” a female voice said, followed by sniffles.

I want to die. 

Jennie was waiting downstairs for me and I needed to see her suck my dick at least once in my life. I couldn’t lose this opportunity because some girl was getting cheated on. I knocked again louder and more rapidly.

“Please solve this drama somewhere else,” anywhere else, “I have to piss,” I said.

“I’m sick,” the voice said with the saddest fake cough I’d heard in my life. The cough reverberated inside what I assumed was a large bathroom.

“Really?”

I heard a hiss at the door, kinky but not what I was really looking for at the moment, and she spoke again. I knew she was back on her phone. At this point, I would’ve been better off waiting in line. I banged my head on the door. I’d never see Jennie at this rate. I’d never have the chance to talk to her while she was single either. I sighed into the door. 

“When I sucked his dick that night I thought we were meant to be,” she said and I couldn’t help but smile at whatever this girl was going through as I banged my head on the wall, continuously, to let her know she was being overdramatic.

“Could you stop?”

“Nope,” I said still banging my head on the door and questioning my life’s purpose.

“You’re being an asshole, you know that?”

“You’re being a b-i-t-c-h,” I said. “Please, I really need to pee. I’m asking nicely.”

“I can’t leave here.”

“Just for like...two seconds, there’s no one around,” I said, but she had already started talking to her phone. 

I couldn’t wait any more and my dick was going to explode in the next few seconds if I didn’t relieve myself so I rushed down the steps. I watched the bathroom line and it had increased into the dining area. I searched for an exit until I spotted one to the left of the steps. I saw two large glass-paned windows filtered by a haze of smoke. I rushed over to the window panes and pushed them open. I gazed at the cerulean pool that reflected the waxing moon. The drizzling rain made ripples in the pool’s moon and I knew my night really wasn’t going to get any better. I eyed the bushes to the left of the pool and immediately ran there. I was finishing up when I heard a familiar voice behind me.

“Jungkook?” Jennie said. “I’ve be-”

.........................................................................................................................................................

I never wanted to hear Yoongi’s laugh ever again.

“So...let me get this straight,” Yoongi said in between fits of laughter. “She caught you .... outside .... with your whole dick out. The girl you’ve been talking about since school started.” 

Yoongi had been going over the events over and over as if he were a tape recorder. I kept remembering it through flashbacks that I never wanted or cared to see again. Her face was so red and she stammered over her words when I stupidly turned around with my dick out. 

“Can you please shut up,” I groaned. “I get it.”

“She probably won’t even remember.”

She did. 

The next time we spoke it was the most awkward conversation in the universe. She totally avoided my eyes entirely and talked about anything but last night and when the topic came up of if she had fun she went totally silent. Whoever that girl was had ruined any chance I had with her I hoped she burned in hell. 

.........................................................................................................................................................

{Avery}

I spread out my notebooks on the table and sighed while staring at them. History was my worst subject and I knew next to nothing. My next essay was 10 pages long and I knew I was going to fail this course. I was already on probation so I definitely needed all the help I could come by. 

Sana told me that she knew this tutor who helped her out a lot last semester and that she’d slept with him once. Apparently, he was a playboy. I tapped my pencil on the table and peeked at my phone. The guy was already 10 minutes late and I grew more restless with every passing second. I decided to scroll down Twitter with the few moments of freedom I had left. 

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” I heard the voice echo throughout the room. It seemed oddly familiar. I flipped through my book to the most recent page in my studies. ‘It’s fine,’ I murmured as I scanned the text for my most recently highlighted part. I didn’t even know where to begin, so this guy was a godsend for me. He scanned me over and introduced himself and I did the same. I sensed his gaze on me for a little longer than I thought was normal, so I looked up from my book.

“Do you know Jongin?” He asked as I picked my head up. “Or Yoongi?”

I shook my head and answered that I knew Jongin.

He bit his lip and nodded at his backpack. He opened it and scattered his studying objects onto our now shared table. I looked them over, eyeing them for any more details on his personality. I sighed when all I could spot were ‘ordinary’ things you’d find in any university student’s backpack. I saw pieces of scattered notebook paper, a binder, a few pencils, a textbook, and a small black book. No panties or anything interesting. 

“You just seem familiar, what high school did you go to?” He asked.

I told him and he still scratched the back of his head. He glanced over his pile before I noticed a small ‘aha’ smile on his face but I wasn’t really interested in finding out more. He seemed like the type of guy to play with you and throw you out like you were a cat’s new toy. 

I needed to ask Sana to clarify if this guy was a tutor or someone she had only fucked because he did not care in the least bit what was going on. He said that my questions made no sense and that I was grasping at straws with all of my opinions but he refused to clarify any of my questions or even put me on the right path. I groaned as I watched the clock slog on past an hour and he began putting his books away. 

“So, that’s it?” I said tapping my pen on the desk. I couldn’t help but deem this as a huge waste of my time.

“Yep, I did the best I could, good luck on your test, you’re gonna need it.”

I could only stare at this guy. While watching him I noticed how his brown hair lit up in the white light of our study box and how his pink lips curved as he put away his utensils. He was too attractive. It was almost as if he were an angel.

“I just .... don’t think you actually came here to help me, Jungkook.”

At that statement, he stared at me with a profound amount of incredulity, as if he’d never had someone be so straightforward to him.

“Why do you think that?” he asked.

I told him.

“Ah.”

“Did you like .... lose a girlfriend or something? .... Or do you just not know what you’re doing?” I said while fiddling with my pencil. I had a certain amount of rage inside me. I wasn’t going to let an asshole screw me over. I was so close to graduating and I couldn’t let him get in my way.

“Sana told me you were good and I don’t think she would lie to me .... Look I really need th-,”

“I don’t really give a shit,” he said. It was almost as if we were in a game and his true personality came out. Some part of me was surprised, at this outcome, but most of me was frustrated. 

“Why would you tutor me if you were just going to show up and do nothing.”

“I like getting paid.”

I rolled my eyes, “Please,” I begged. “I really can’t fail this.”

“It’s just a midterm.”

I rolled my eyes and in frustration threw a piece of paper at the door when he closed it, “Fuck you.”

.........................................................................................................................................................

“I wanna die,” I said and leaned on her best friend’s shoulder. I couldn’t believe I was going to fail my history midterm all because of a stupid guy. Sana stroked my hair, while Jihyo watched, and cooed to me that it was going to be okay and that there were plenty of tutors out there.  

“You said he was the best you’d ever had,” I whined. A part of me was worried that she might have meant that specifically sexually but I had no clue. I drank until I couldn’t feel my face and whined to Sana and Jihyo about how I was never going to graduate.

When I had turned away from the bar to get drinks for my friends I bumped into a hard chest. I managed to get half of my beverages on his white shirt. Fuck, was the only word going through my head. I shot out a ‘Sorry’, but immediately regretted it when I looked up and noticed that he held the same scowl I had seen less than 6 hours ago. I wanted to die but I also smiled at the karmic resolution the universe had placed before me. 

“So—rry,” I said slowly, as I stared at his white shirt with a pout.

“Jesus Christ, Avery,” Jungkook said while pulling on the hem of his now discolored shirt. I let out a tiny smile at his dismay.

I rolled my eyes, “Don’t be such a baby,” I said as I grabbed the nearest paper towels and pressed them on his shirt. I felt the impression of his abs underneath and was surprised by how sculpted they were. I stopped pondering for a moment before I heard an ‘ahem’ coming from the annoying guy. I pouted when I noticed that his shirt refused to return to its original state. “Let me get these .... drinks to my friends and we’ll figure something out.”

.........................................................................................................................................................

I stared at the washer and then inspected Jungkook who was in my father’s largest white. He seemed ridiculously cute to have such a bad personality.  I didn’t feel bad at all when I rinsed detergent all over his precious shirt that he had complained about all the way up here. 

“If it doesn’t come out you owe me so much money,”

“How much could a white button-up cost?”

“It’s a Kanye West or-ig-i-nal,” he stated as he sipped on the beer can he’d stolen from my tiny refrigerator. I couldn’t believe this asshole ruined my entire day and college career.

“You know you can go to your dorm and wait,” I said pushing open the laundromat door.

“And miss out on the free alcohol you owe me? No way,” he said.

.........................................................................................................................................................

As soon as I opened my dorm door he spotted my refrigerator once again, much to my chagrin. This guy was going to drink me out of a house and home. I sat on my bed and opened my laptop while I watched him open another can. 

“You really don’t remember me do you?” he said in the most drawled out tone. My bed shifted under his weight. 

“As the worst tutor I’ve ever had? Of course, I do.”

At that statement, he threw the rest of his body onto my bed and I knew I needed him out of my bedroom before I strangled him. He came in here as if he owned the place.

“You,” he said while drunkenly waving a finger in my vague direction, “kept me away from my future girlfriend.” I was glad when I saw that he was losing his ability to speak but upset when he decided my bed was the perfect place to rest.

I made a face of incredulity at his statement and decided to pry his beer from his drunk hand. “Ok .... That’s enough for you,” I said. He must’ve had me confused with someone who gave a shit.

“Maybe even wife .... whatever dude ....,” he said grasping for my drink as I pulled it away from him. He muttered out a few words before falling fully asleep in my room.

.........................................................................................................................................................

{Jungkook}

I was pretty sure I was in a girl’s room. 

Which girl I had no clue. 

I stretched over in the empty bed and searched frantically to no avail for my phone.

“You talk in your sleep and cuddle a lot,” Avery said over the sound of rushing waters to which I let out a ‘huh.’ She came into my view wearing my shirt. What the fuck? I thought as I stared at my dick. Dude!!! I put my hand over my face and peered back at her. She looked really cute in it. Too cute. She wore it as if it belonged to her. I couldn’t help but think about ripping it off of her, for multiple unspecified reasons. 

“Um, did I? Did we?” A lot of me was pissed that I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants with a girl that I hated, but watching her in that made me reconsider. She giggled and I was scared yet excited for her answer

“Yeah, you proposed to me,” she said and covered her face as if she were embarrassed. I felt all of the life drain of me. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with me? When was drunk me going to realize that there are consequences to my actions? The onslaught of giggles made me reconsider my descent into madness. 

“Dude, you’re so gullible,” she said, unbuttoning my shirt. A certain part of me grew in anticipation for the outcome of her actions but I pouted when I found out that she had a shirt underneath. 

“We didn’t have sex...You did try to cuddle me a ton,” Avery said before gliding her way to her bathroom. “You owe me, like, 10 study sessions, dude. You’re welcome,” she said. I was left with my thoughts before she peeked her head back in. “Also, I told Jennie you were gay,” she said with a snigger. 

My whole body froze.

“You’re literally the most gullible person on the planet,” she said while throwing her head back in ungodly laughter.

.........................................................................................................................................................

{Avery}

The first few times we studied I was exhilarated at the pace at which he taught me. After the events of last week, he seemed way more inclined to help me in my struggles. I was surprised by how organized and studious he was in contrast to his asshole exterior. He showed me how he kept track of his ideas and why I needed to study at least once a day. This was our last study session so I needed it to be in a quiet environment, so we decided on his room.

“Did Jennie talk to you today?”

“This isn’t going to help you,” Jungkook said as he watched me answer questions on the quiz he’d created for me. I sighed at the feeling of his scrutinizing gaze on me. I was glad that he was helping me but it felt as if I were in boot camp. The boy didn’t know when to take a break, his energy was overwhelming. I could tell he was leaning in closer when I smelt his musky honey scent creeping in.

“You’re probably not going to understand this one,” he said as he pointed at the question.

“I feel like it’s .... George Washington?”

“You’re closer than .... Napoleon?”

I sighed as I rubbed my finger on the desk. I was really glad for his help. I sensed his shadow creep in on my personal space and heard his chair roll closer to me.

“So, what do you suspect the answer is?” he asked. I could tell he was teasing me and I wasn’t able to focus on my memory. 

I groaned, “Could I get a hint?”

“Do you really think I’m going to give you a hint,” he asked while watching my emotions run over the question he had asked me. I pouted at my page.

“Yes...?” I sighed. We’d been working really hard to make sure I understood everything and I still couldn’t comprehend it. I sat my forehead on my desk. I felt him pull my chair closer to him and I had completely forgotten my last few thoughts. 

“I just feel like you’re stressing yourself out over nothing.”

“Mmm,” I let out. I was more than tired and had considered drinking coffee for the first time in at least two years. I turned my face so that my cheek sat on my cool desk and peered at his big bunny eyes. I noticed his arm wrap around my waist and he started speaking again, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying, I was obsessed with the way his touch felt against my shirt and how cozy his hand felt. I couldn’t stop staring at his lips.

“This is something you should focus on,” he said while pointing at my book. He watched me and I was sure he could tell I was dazed and confused. His lips turned into a grin before he pulled his face to my ear.

“I don’t think you’re listening,” he said, into my earlobe. I was surprised by his closeness and my goosebumps raised. I let out an ‘mmm’ and ‘I am’ absentmindedly. He pulled my chair until I was flush against him. I wanted to whine in embarrassment but I couldn’t even let that croak out of me.  He pulled away from me and my body missed the warmth he presented. My face slid so that my forehead was back on the table to avoid his gaze.

“It’s okay to look at me,” he said while lifting his hand onto my neck to press on any of my tensions. I peeked back up at him and was surprised to find his lips on mine in less than a second. Sana had told me a little about how he kissed but she never explained it like this. She never really gave it the amount of praise it deserved. His lips were like pillows and the gates to heaven. I never wanted someone more in my life. He pulled away from me in a knowing gaze.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, while smoothing his thumb over my lips. I knew he could see the dumbfounded look on my face and I wished I could take it all back.

.........................................................................................................................................................

[cherrytdatt]

last night

Pairing: Fratboy!Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~2.4k

Summary: you and tom are in a complicated relationship and you wanna find a way out of it.

A/N: this was suposed to be inspired on the song ‘last night’ by lucy spraggan, but end up being more angst than i planned 🙄 sorry. SEND ME REQUESTS i’m running out of ideas!!

Songs I listened: Last Night by Lucy Spraggan and Hardest to Love by The Weeknd

It wasn't the first time that this happened, and surely wouldn't be the last. Once again, you woke up with your head pounding, that weird taste in your mouth, and the feeling that something bad happened. The feeling that you did something bad.

You blinked a few times, trying to recognize the place you were. It wasn't your room, but you did know this room. You looked at the white wall with pieces of art and pictures, squeezing your eyes, trying to identify someone. By the way, where were your lenses? You moved in the bed, suddenly noticing you were naked. Fuck! You lifted the white sheet, confirming you were, indeed, very naked. Shutting your eyes, you tried to think about what happened, but the last image you had was you dawning your third (?) shot of tequila.

"Good morning, darling," a voice called your attention, and you flinched.

"Oh, fuck!" you rolled your eyes, focusing on the person next to you. "Not you again," you looked at his smile, feeling your stomach turn inside you.

"That's not what you said last night," he laughed, turning on his side to look at you.

"Don't be gross, Tom," you covered your eyes with your hands, trying to remember how you end up in his bed again.

Tom and you had a complicated relationship. He liked you a lot, and you liked him a lot. You two even dated for a few months. But he cheated on you and you cheated back. After that, you flirted and made out in some parties, but every time you felt bad about it and took you days to recover.

"Do you wanna see the videos?" he asked, still laughing.

"WHAT? Did you record this?" you asked, offended, propping yourself in your elbows, and looking at him.

"Of course not! Do you think I'm a pervert?" he protested, and you shrugged. "I recorded you saying that you loved me and that you wanted to marry me," he said with a cocky grin on his face.

"I doubt that," you laughed, laying on the bed again.

"You know I'm telling the truth," he reached for his phone in his nightstand, hovering over your body longer than he needed. The smile that never left his face started getting on your nerves. "See for yourself," he said, showing you his phone and playing the video. A very drunk you, seated on his bed, holding a beer.

"Can you say that again?" Tom asked you on the video.

"What? That I...I love you, a-and wan-wanted to marrya, but you broke m-my...my heart?" you said pointing at the camera.

"I'm s-" he started to say on the video but Tom closed before you heard anything else.

Well, it's official. You really humiliated yourself this time.

"Yeah, this was fun," you said sarcastically, getting out of the bed, holding the sheets close to your body.

"Don't be pissed. It was fun," he smiled. You got your panties and your jeans off the floor, putting them on cautiously. "What are you doing? I saw you naked a million times," he laughed, pointing at you. You rolled your eyes, reaching for your top on the other side of the room, close to the door. "Y/n, talk to me," he said, a little more serious but you just kept gathering your things. "Are you really gonna give me the 'silent treatment' now?" he asked, and you just sigh. He rolled his eyes, getting out of the bed, and holding your arm, so you would look at him. "I'm sorry, okay? I tried to stay out of your way last night, but...well, this is us. We always do this," he said, sincerely. You looked in his eyes, and for a second, you completely forgot all the bad things that happened between you two. "Please, just talk to me," he urged.

You took a deep breath, still looking into his eyes. "I...I'm just tired, Tom," you said, not knowing if you were talking about last night or the whole situation. He let go of your arm, taking a step back. "I just wanna go home," you finished putting your top.

"Can we talk later?" he asked, and you tried to avoid his eyes, cause you knew you couldn't say 'no' to him. "Please," he said and, apparently, you couldn't say 'no' to his voice too.

"Yeah, sure. You can...call me," you said, frustrated.

"Thanks," he said, sitting back on his bed.

"I'm going now," you pointed to the door, and he gave you a small smile. "Delete that video. It was the vodka talking," you looked at him one last time before leaving, and he chuckled.

You did the 'walk of shame' from Tom's frathouse to your dorm for the millionth time since you broke up. It wasn't anything new anymore. The cold air made you shiver, and you realized that sober you, unlike drunk you, was affected by temperature.

You walked into your room, relaxing your body, feeling the heat warming you. You sat on your bed, hiding your face in your hands. You fucked up. Again! "I'm never drinking again," you mumbled, thinking about all the drinks you mixed up the night before. You let your body fall on the bed, groaning.

~

As you already knew Tom didn't call you that day or the six days after. It was no surprise, but yet, you couldn't avoid that bitter feeling in the pit of your stomach. The next weekend you decided to stay at home, reading a book for your literature class. The noise from outside disturbed your reading, so you decided to go to the grocery store to buy all the cookies and chocolates you could find.

Thank God you left all your fucks to give in your room, so you didn't felt intimidated by all the girls wearing nice clothes while you walked around the campus in a hoodie and sweatpants. You entered the grocery store, and the only clients there, beside you, were the depressed middle-aged moms looking for wine and the elderly that decided to buy food for the whole week on a friday night.

"I think we need more beer!" you heard the familiar voice when you got next to the cashier.

"Mate, I think we have enough," another familiar voice said, a little lower.

You put your hood on, trying to hide your face. The last thing you wanted now was to bump into Tom and his 'mates' on a friday night when they were getting ready for a party while you were buying all the candy in a store.

"Oh! Look at that!" you heard Tom's voice getting closer to you, and then you felt his arms over your shoulder.

"Hey, Tom," you said, already annoyed. "Hey, Harrison," you waved weakly to the other boy.

"Aren't you going to the party tonight, love?" he asked, turning you so he could look at your face.

"It looks like I'm going to a party?" you quipped.

"I was hoping to see you there," he pouted.

"Yeah, well, too bad," you shrugged.

"Tom, we need to go," Harrison said, seeing how annoyed you were, and you gave him a toothless smile.

"Calm down, mate. I'm talking to her," Tom waved him off. Harrison shook his head.

"I'm going to the teller," he announced, leaving you and Tom alone.

"Why aren't you going tonight?" he asked. "It's just a few people, nothing big," he tried to convince you.

"Thanks for the offer, but I have other things to do," you told him.

"Why are you being like this?"

"You have to be kidding me," you groaned.

"What?" Tom asked.

"Nevermind. Go to your party, have fun, and let me go home in peace," you said, paying for your groceries.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go?" he asked one more time before leaving.

"Hundred percent," you got your bags. You gave him a forced smile. "Bye, Tom," you said leaving him.

"Bye," he answered.

You walked back to your dorm, shocked by how Tom could change your mood with a five-minute interaction. You were happyish, relaxed, and satisfied with the fact that you would spend the night at home doing things you liked. Now you were grumpy, tired, and questioning all your life choices.

At least it was over now, and you could get comfy in your bed, reading your book, then watching a few episodes of your favorite show, all that while eating a lot of cookies. You settled into your bed again, surrounded by everything you needed to not have to get up for the next five or six hours. As soon as you got back to your book, a knock on your door interrupted you. "This must be a joke," you murmured, getting out of bed.

"The party is not here..." you started, opening the door, just to meet the last person you wanted to see.

"Hey, darling," Tom said with a smile, leaning on your doorway.

"Jesus, what I did do deserve this?" you sigh.

"I just wanna talk, okay?" he said, raising his hands in defense.

"Talk about what, Tom?" you leaned on the door, not interest in letting him in.

"Us?" he said more like a question.

"There is no 'us', Tom. There was a 'us' before you fucked everything up," you said, already running out of patience.

"C'mon. What about last weekend?" he argued.

"Oh! You wanna talk about last weekend? Which part? The part where I got so drunk that I end up in a bed with you again? Or the part where you said you were gonna call me, and never did? Or maybe, the part where I came home feeling like an idiot for making the same mistake again?" you said sarcastically.

"Okay! I'm sorry I didn't call you. I planned to...but things got weird, and I didn't have the time," he explained.

"It's okay. I'm okay. When I told you to call me I already knew you wouldn't. I really didn't get upset. But I can't let this happen again. If we keep doing this, none of us will be able to move on, and I really really need to move on," you said sincerely.

"Don't, please! Let me tell you why I didn't call you, and why I'm here now," he asked.

"Tom..."

"Please...ten minutes, it's all I'm asking."

"Fine..." you said, opening the door and letting him in.

"Thanks," he said. Relieve running through his body. Tom walked into your room, already knowing every inch of it. He looked at your bed and all the things you had set up for your night. "Quite a night you were planning," he said, sitting on your bed. You leaned into your desk, crossing your arms, waiting for him to talk. He let out a nervous chuckled when you ignored his comment. "Look...I'm going straight to the point, okay? Last weekend, when you left, I freaked out. I watched your video and...well...you were not the only one saying...things on that video," he rubbed his hands on his jeans, trying to calm himself. He could feel his heart beating on his chest. "Then, during the week, I kept thinking about why things never worked between us and...I know it's my fault, but not because I cheated on you. It's because...I... I love you so much...and I'm so afraid you won't love me back the same way or, at some point, you'll just stop loving me, that I...I just...messed up everything," he confessed, his voice cracking. You felt your stomach do flips inside you hearing his words. Tom said a lot of things to you since this on-again/off-again relationship started, but he never told you he loved you or confessed his fear of not being loved back. You didn't want to admit, but you felt the sincerity in every word he said.

"Tom..." you started, but he cut you off.

"Just...look...when we were together I felt so happy. I never felt like that with anyone. And tonight, when I saw you at the grocery store, all I wanted was to come home with you and be with you. I couldn't stand being at the party. I just wanted to be with you. Not to have sex or anything like that, but just, I don't know, see a movie, watch you reading, or whatever..." he blurted out. "Don't kick me out, please..." he asked, and you felt your heart heavy. You really wanted to believe in him, but you didn't wanna broke your heart again.

"You are asking too much from me, Tom. After all that happened," you said, uncrossing your arms and holding the edge of your desk, till your knuckles turn white.

"I know. But just...let me stay tonight and let me prove to you that I'm serious about everything I said," he said, rubbing his hands together, anxiously.

"I think you..." you started, looking at him. Your heart beating fast and loud in your chest. "You can stay tonight," you said, with a weak nod, and he smiled at you. "But..." you pointed at him. "No sex!" you bit your lip, trying to hold a smile.

"Whatever you want," he said.

"I think I still have one of your sweatpants somewhere," you looked at his jeans, and then opened your closet, messing all your drawers searching for his clothes. "Here," you handed him a black sweatpants.

"So what are our planes?" he asked, unzipping his jeans and taking them off.

"I was gonna read this book," you picked up the book from your bed. "But we can just watch a movie, instead," you shrugged, opening your notebook.

"It works for me," he smiled, putting the sweatpants on. You laid down, pulling the blankets over you, and searching for the movie you wanted to watch on your notebook. Tom settled by your side, hugging your shoulders. "I'm really sorry for everything," he hugged a little tighter, bringing you closer.

"Me too," you gave him a sympathetic smile.

You still felt like you were going straight into a trap, but you loved Tom more than you could admit so, for tonight, you were gonna let him hold you, and enjoy these few moments of peace before he broke you again.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Subterfuge

Part 8/finale in Getaway Series

Warnings: nonconsensual sex (vaginal ntercourse, violence), angst, general assholery.

This is dark!(nomad)Steve and explicit. 18+ only. PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS. I mean it, I’m not gonna tell you again.

Summary: The reader makes her move.

Note: Alright, so this is the final part of this series and I’m shocked that I’ve finished it bc I was struggling boo. But here ya go. I hope you all are ready and I dunno if you’ll like it, but this is the end.

Anyways, let me know what you think as always with a reblog and/or some feedback. Love ya <3

...

You watched your mother as she set the casserole dish in the middle of the table. She hadn’t said much to you since your arrival. She avoided it as she distracted herself with the family dinner. Your sister sat across from you, she meant to say something but had yet to find the gull. 

Your father was the only who was unfazed by your presence. Never the talkative type, he at least looked away from his book for more than two seconds to acknowledge you. He greeted you with a hug and asked after your day. 

The tension of thoughts unspoken kept you silent too. You waited at the table and resisted the habitual urge to take your phone out. That would only be a reminder. Of how terribly everything could go. Your last hope were the texts you quickly erased upon reading. The emails deleted within minutes of receiving them.

Tony Stark had a plan and it all hinged on you. And Steve. Agents were in place to descend on your apartment the moment you sent the code word but their target had been absent for almost five days. Just like his presence, it made you anxious. He had been away for longer before. You should be relieved to be free of him, but you knew it was only temporary.

Your mother served everyone before she sat. You twirled your fork but even the savoury aroma of her family recipe couldn’t rile your appetite. You may not know when Steve would show up next, but you knew the end was imminent. All you had to do was send the word. One word and he was done.

“So, honey,” Your mother’s voice was hesitant. “How have you been?”

“Working,” You replied. “You know, the same old.”

The sound of cutlery against the plates filled the silence that followed. 

“And how’s Nick?” Gia asked suddenly. You looked up to her grin and narrowed your eyes.

“I wouldn’t know,” You said. 

“Gia,” Your mom warned.

“Oh come on, the last time we saw her, her ex was tryna fight her new boytoy.” Gia trilled. “Our family can be dramatic but that was--”

“He’s not--Nick is just...Nick.” You interjected. “Jesus, I came here to be with all of you and you’re treating me like some...pariah. Should I have worn a scarlet letter for our dinner?”

“We’re worried,” Your mother intoned. “We don’t know this Nick very well and after what happened with Ethan--”

“Ethan hates me. He has every right to.” You snarled. “What do you want me to say? He was right, I’m a slut.”

“Language,” Your mother reproached.

“I’m an adult! I’ll use whatever language suited to the situation.” You dropped your fork and crossed your arms. “Why aren’t you saying anything to Gia as she dates a man nearly two decades older than her, hmm?”

“We love you, we just want to make sure you’re okay,” Your mother protested.

“Then leave her alone,” Your father spoke up as he swallowed a mouthful of casserole. “Pete’s sake, she’s told you a dozen times. Let her make her own mistakes. Judgin’ her’s not gonna do her any favours.”

You blinked and looked to your dad as he leaned back in his chair. 

“This Nick boy causes any trouble, I’ll deal with him myself.” He shook his head. “Just like I dealt with Ethan.”

“What?” You lifted a brow. “What does that mean?”

“I had a talk with him after the barbecue. Told him to leave you alone. He’s angry. Hurt. But I told him it’s no sense hounding you and making you both more miserable than you already are.” He sighed. “It will pass. All of it.” He looked to your mother pointedly. “So let it pass and be nice.”

You mother sniffed and stared at the table. Gia glared at you over her plate and you tapped your fingers along the wood. You nodded and slowly stood.

“I’m not hungry.” You said. “Besides, I didn’t come here to eat. I came here to spend time with you. I thought, stupidly, that we could be friendly.” You stepped out from between the chair and table. “I love you. All of you. I just think I need some time.”

“Honey,” Your mother stood, “Please--”

“I’ve got work tomorrow,” You neared her and forced your arms around her. “I’ll see you.” 

You let go of her and patted your sister’s arm as she sulked in her chair. Your father stood and hugged you in turn. He clung to you a moment before he held you at arm’s length. His wrinkles deepened as he considered you.

“Take care of yourself, kiddo,” He said.

“I’ll try, dad,” You slowly parted from him and his hand fell from your shoulder. “Bye.”

You grabbed your coat and jacket at the door and looked back into the dining room. Your dad watched as you opened the door and disappeared out onto the street. Well, there wasn’t as much at stake as you thought.

-

‘Dear Mom, Dad, Gia, or whoever finds this letter,

If I'm missing or dead, I want this to be a record of why. If this man gets the best of me, I want there to be a chance that someone might get him.’

Your hand hovered over the paper as you thought. The small book light lit your words as you sat in the dark. The mattress was lumpy, its time on the floor had worsened its springs. You flicked your pen against your lip and bit the cap. Slowly, you pressed the ballpoint to the paper again.

‘It happened up north, on vacation with my friends, Kaya, Camile, Milani, and Corette, as well as my sister, Gia. They do not know what happened but they can confirm that they left me alone for several hours to visit the beach. During which I was accosted and assaulted by the fugitive known as Steve Rogers. He was bleeding and left me bleeding in turn.

I returned at the end of the week to the apartment I shared with my boyfriend, Ethan. For a few weeks, my life was the same as it was. But then he appeared again, broke into my apartment, and assaulted both me and Ethan. He made Ethan watch as he raped me and this led to the end of that relationship.

Thereafter, living on my own and without witness, I was visited almost weekly by Steve Rogers. He introduced himself to those I knew as Nick and coerced me into hiding his identity. If you capture him, you will find footage of at least one of his assaults on his phone. You will also find that he once more assaulted Ethan at one of my family’s events.

You will also note my correspondence with Stark Industries. They can provide you with a full transcript as I have erased all evidence on my end to keep myself safe. If they have failed to aid me in capturing the fugitive, then this letter will be of use to you. I only hope that he is caught before he can do this to someone else.

In the event that this letter is read, I want my family to know that I love them. I am sorry I didn’t tell them the truth but it was for their own safety.’

You leaned back against the pillow and re-read the letter. You shivered and folded it up carefully. Your last testament. All that would remain of you should this all go to shit. You got up and tucked folded the paper up so that it fit behind the upholstery of your jewelry box. When Steve arrived, you’d text your mother your hiding spot. You only prayed Steve didn’t discover it first.

-

It was your day off. You didn’t sleep and so you showered and dressed early. Unsure of when the bell would toll, you determined to make what could be your last day to yourself entirely self-indulgent.

You spent an hour in the bookstore. It was ages since you visited the familiar aisles, browsed old titles and new. You still hadn’t read the last haul of books you’d taken home with you. You weren’t sure you ever would but the smell of paperback comforted you. It reminded you of a time before; the alphabetized spines were the only order in your chaotic life.

You paid for a collection of Poe’s stories and made your way to the cafe next door. Many of the bookstore’s patrons ended up here. It was bustling that day but many took their coffee to go. You ordered a tea and sat in the corner, a round-backed armchair with another beside it. Empty.

It was easy to feel lonely these days. With a secret you couldn’t share with anyone; a torment you faced on your own. You left your tea to cool on the small table between the chairs and opened the book. Many of these tales you’d read before but each time you read them, they felt new again, though the sense of horror was nothing compared to that you faced outside the pages.

“You fancy me mad. Madmen know nothing. But you should have seen me. You should have seen how wisely I proceeded –with what caution –with what foresight –with what dissimulation I went to work!”

You began to slump in your chair as you read the descent into madness, the almost inhuman insanity did not seem so fantastical anymore. Perhaps, Poe’s horror wasn’t fictional, but a reflection of the depths of humanity. Of how low one could sink when their soul is corrupted.

A shadow moved beside you and a cup was placed next to yours. The book fell closed around your finger as you let it rest in your lap. You stared over at your villain. Steve sat down heavily and smirked over at you.

“Is this what you do with your free time?” He asked as he ran his hands along his thighs, smoothing the wrinkles from the worn denim. 

You pulled your finger from the pages without marking your place and set the small volume behind your cup. You took your tea and sipped as you looked around the cafe. “It’s what I’m doing today.”

“It’s been a while,” He remarked as he picked up his own cup and cradled it just above his lap. “Do you think this will save you?”

You turned and squinted at him. You drank again. The tea was lukewarm and acidic. “Save me?” 

“All these people,” He glanced around. “Do you think that will stop me?”

“I know it won’t,” You replied and took another gulp before setting aside the dregs to cool entirely. “So what are you waiting for?”

He laughed and raised his mug to his lips. He drank the dark coffee and placed his mug next to yours. “You don’t give up, do you?”

“And neither do you,” You countered. 

“I don’t,” He said as he leaned over the arm of his chair. “And let me assure you, I’ve dealt with people far more formidable than you, girl.”

You nodded. This was what he did. He enjoyed it; taunting you. “I’m sure you have.” You examined the lines of your palm. You itched to grab your phone but could not make it so obvious. “Where have you been, anyway?”

“Doing my valiant duty. Saving the people who need saving.” He said smugly. “You know, the ones I was outlawed from helping. This world seems to have forgotten that without me, they’d be in ruins.”

“Is that how you make it okay in your head?” You looked at him. “Hmm? This?”

“This is what I’m owed. You. A single life for the millions I’ve saved.” He reached over and touched your arm, his fingers danced along your shoulder. “I’m fucking hard already.” He pulled away and pushed himself to his feet. “Meet me in the mens’.”

He turned and strutted away as you watched him. His broad shoulders disappeared down the narrow hallway that led to the facilities. You sighed and grabbed the book of horror stories from the table. 

You stared at the cover, the silhouette of a raven. A bad omen; a harbinger of warfare, of death. You grabbed your purse and replaced the book on the table. You didn’t need horror stories; you were living one of your own.

The walk along the hallway seemed longer than six steps. The clinking and steaming of the cafe kitchen disguised your footsteps. You passed the ladies’ and stopped in front of the mens’. You didn’t knock but stepped inside with resignation. 

Was this the climax of your story? How then should the denouement bring you lower?

Steve reached over your head and pushed the door closed as you entered. His hand slipped down and turned the lock with a loud click. He grabbed your arm and yanked you away from the door as he turned you to face the small sink.  You dropped your purse as you gripped the porcelain.

You looked in the mirror at yourself as he let go and hastily undid his fly. “Come on,” He tugged your shirt up and grabbed the waist of your jeans. 

You flicked open your fly as he shoved your pants past your ass. The heat of his body surrounded you. You looked up. Your eyes weren’t yours. They were dark and haunted. Your features were marred by shadows. You felt hollow as his hand brushed against you and he pushed your shoulders forward.

You closed your eyes as he entered you. It hurt. You were dry and he was impatient. It took him a few thrusts to reach his limit. His hand went to the back of your neck as you shuddered and grasped the sides of the sink. He crushed your hips against the porcelain as his hushed grunts floated above you.

“Fuck,” He swore as he slipped his hand around your front. He felt between your folds and rubbed your clit. “I should’ve come yesterday.”

You bit your lip as you hung your head forward. You kept your eyes shut as each thrust came harder than the last. The cold porcelain grew slick beneath your palms. You slid forward, your face closer to the mirror. His hand crept around your neck and your back arched as his fingers tightened at your throat.

Your breath whisked from you as the sounds of the cafe crept in beneath the door. You felt yourself slicken around his cock. Your body worked against you. His flesh slapped loudly against your ass. You couldn’t stifle the heat as it flowed through you.

You gasped as he sped up. Your hands slipped as his left your neck. He caught your arms and held them back as he fucked you. 

“Open your eyes.” He growled. You shook your head and he jolted into you painfully and stopped. “I said open your eyes, girl.”

Your jaw set and you slowly opened your eyes. His blue eyes were cavernous as they stared back at you in the mirror. He began to move again. Your body rebelled and continued its ascent. You breathed through your nose, trying to muffle your pleasure as he ripped it from your flesh. You squeaked and trembled as you came. He watched, pleased at your surrender.

He pulled you away from the sink. He dropped your arms and wrapped his around your middle as he rutted into you. You reached back to touch his thighs, pleading wordlessly for him to slow down as each thrust sent a ripple through you. 

He jerked against you and spasmed as he threw his head back. He hissed as he came and rocked his hips slowly as he spilled inside you. You were weak as he released you and you stumbled forward as he pulled out. 

He chuckled as you caught yourself on the sink and his cum dripped down onto your panties and jeans. He edged you out of his way as he grabbed a paper towel and turned the faucet. You took some toilet paper and turned away from him as he cleaned himself up. You tried to do the same but still felt dirty when you were done.

“I’ll be out there,” He said as he zipped his fly up. “There’s an alarm on the fire escape so let’s not play games.”

“Alright,” You grumbled if only to get him to leave.

The locked clicked and the door opened and closed. You wiped off your panties and jeans as best as you could and pulled them up. You locked the door and grabbed your purse off the tile. You dug around and found your phone buried in the mess. 

You leaned against the wall as you typed in the single word. You stared at it as your thumb hovered over ‘send’. Once it went through, you had less than an hour before agents descended on your apartment. You sent the second, the one for your mother and shoved your phone away. 

However this ended, Steve would no longer be your personal scourge.

-

The car ride was silent. It always was with him. It was better that way. The only words he had for you were cruel. You kept your eyes forward and watched the road through the windshield. Play it cool. This was the hardest part. The anxiety. The impatience. For your doom or his.

Your building was a spectre against the grey sky. A storm was moving in. You got out and he followed. The usual smack on your ass. You pulled out your keys as he pushed himself against you. He was hard again.

“We’ll have some fun on your day off,” He teased as you unlocked the door. “Better than your books.”

You stayed quiet. He didn’t expect an answer. He knew you wouldn’t. This routine had become too familiar. Too rehearsed. Too easy.

You led him up the stairs. With each, your heart beat just a little quicker. The keys jingled in your hand and you realized your were shaking. You stopped in front of your door to gather yourself and find the right key on the ring. He leaned against the wall and ran a finger down your side.

“You’re...excited,” He mused. “I can hear your heart racing.”

You looked over at him, the key poised just before the lock. “You can?”

“Yeah. I hear a lot, you know? Your heart, the blood flowing through your veins, your breath before it rises,” He smirked and you slid the key into the bolt and turned. “Serum gave me a lot more than muscles, didn’t it?”

He flicked your chin playfully and drew away. You held back your retort and stepped inside. Your apartment was as you left it, not a single speck of dust missing. You blinked as you entered the small living room. A furtive glance to the windows. 

Did they get your message? Were they really coming?

Steve walked around the room as he stretched his arms above him. You watched him as he strolled around the small space. He neared the window and looked out, his figure a wraith against the grim sky. He twisted the plastic rod and the blinds closed.

He turned back to you and his hands went to his hips. That classic stance you’d seen on posters. Captain America. The saviour of the world. He laughed.

“You’re heart is still going,” He slowly inched across the room. “Faster now. Fuck, you’re gonna have a fit, girl.”

You swallowed, your mouth dry as you gripped your purse. You looked down and saw your phone through the open zipper. You couldn’t just pull it out and check. You hadn’t felt a vibration. 

He neared, his shoes decisive against the hardwood. He was like a hawk circling. You looked up and backed away as he came closer.

“You really think Tony Stark would believe some small town girl?” Steve grinned and your chest clenched. “Hmm? You think you’re some spy with your code words and your covert messages? Your plan to have them storm your pathetic apartment?”

Your lips parted in shock as if you’d been slapped. No… Your flesh turned to stone as you met the wall and pressed yourself to it. 

“I’ve faced real spies. Let me tell you, Hydra was a lot more intimidating but I tossed them on their asses. But you, you think you can bring me down?” He chuckled as his hand came up to grip your chin. “What do you think I could do to you?”

Tears rose along your lower lids and your lip trembled. You should’ve known. It was too easy. Another trick. A bug on your phone; your computer, too. He knew it all and you were too desperate to think. Stupid.

“Think of what I’ve already done,” He leaned in so that his nose was almost touching yours. “Of what I’m going to do now.” He pressed his forehead to yours. “It’s over, girl. Just like you wanted it.”

He pulled away, his hands balled as he glared down at you. His chest rose and fell as his jaw ticked. You wiped away the tears before they could fall and sniffed. You stood straight as you looked back at him defiantly.

“Fine,” You declared. “Then end it.”

You were stunned as his fist met your jaw. Your stumbled back and your head hit the wall. You slid down slowly as your legs turned to jelly and the room faded slowly before your eyes. You gripped your pounding skull as the strength drained from you. You looked up at Steve as he loomed over you and your vision swam with stars.

“You really thought you could get away from me?” He knelt as your eyes began to roll back, his voice floated in your ears and into the void. 

-

When you awoke, the world was moving. When you awoke, you were shocked. Were you really alive or was this the purgatory you’d always denied? Your head lolled and you stared at the driver of the car. No, you were still painfully alive.

Steve’s features were limned in sunlight. It was either a new day or a new place. His blue eyes bore into the winding highway ahead. Your jaw ached terribly and your head felt like it was full of cement. You babbled weakly.

Your hands were tied together. Your ankles too. The seat belt was buckled around you and kept you from sliding down the seat.

“I really thought I might’ve killed you,” He said. “I hit you a bit harder than I meant to.”

You grumbled. No words would come.

“That’d be too easy. I’ve been too easy on you and you didn’t appreciate it at all. I let you stay in your shit hole apartment, let you see your family, let you live your life when it’s not your life. It’s mine.” The steering wheel groaned as he gripped it tighter. “You’re mine.”

You mumbled and felt the sting of tears as the world closed in on you.

“It’s all over now, girl,” Your eyes closed again. “You don’t even know how good you had it.”

His words were scribbled across your dreams as you sank back into unconsciousness. You dozed and woke at intervals. He allowed you a drink of water from a bottle and a piss on the side of the road. You barely recalled the stops as your world was clouded in shock and pain.

You were shaken awake for the last time. Your door was open and Steve felt along your jaw roughly. 

“It’s not broken.” He stated and unbuckled the seat belt. “See, another thing to be thankful for.”

“Steve,” You rasped. “Please…”

“Please, shut up,” He spat and pulled you out of the car. “Come on, hop, bunny.”

He tugged you forward and you were forced to hop on your bound feet. There was a farmhouse just ahead; long-abandoned and slanted. The fields were overgrown with weeds. This was where he’d leave you. 

“Just get it over with,” Your words were clumsy through your swollen jaw.

He didn’t reply and continued to drag you towards the barn. He slid the door open enough to angle you through. He led you to the corner where a pile of rotted boards rested. He let go of you and you wobbled on your feet as he began to move the rubble.

Beneath was a small hatch. This was tornado country. These vaults were built decades ago to keep families safe when the sirens sounded. Except the hatch was more than the usual wooden door; it was metal, shiny and new, a bolt on its face.

He took a key out and unlocked the hatch. He turned and bent to pick you up. He slung you over his shoulder and your head spun. He slowly carried you down the steps. He put you back on your feet and you wavered. 

The light from above lit the shadows. There were shelves along the far wall, illegible packets and cans lined the middle shelf. A bed sat a foot from the shelves against the wall; a metal frame with a thin mattress. A toilet was attached to the wall along with a small sink. A single lightbulb hung from the ceiling.

Steve untied your hands and your feet. He stood and shoved you towards the middle of the room. You caught yourself on the bed frame and turned back.

“Welcome home,” His smile was sinister in the dim. 

“No,” You gasped and neared him. He pushed you back easily and you fell on your ass. “Please, don’t do this. Just kill me, please.”

“Kill you? I never wanted that,” He scoffed and turned to set his foot on the bottom step. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back to check on you. Now and then.”

He started to climb the steps and you got up unsteadily. As he reached the top, you grabbed onto the stairs and tried to come up after him.

“I’ll throw you back down,” He warned as he pulled on the steps and slowly raised them. You clung to them as he tried to wriggle them away from you. “You’ll be worse off if I break something.”

“Steve, you can’t--” Slivers embedded in your skin as he yanked the steps free from you and raised them up after him.

“Now, now, girl,” He knelt and looked through the hatch at you. “Is there anything I can’t do?” He slowly lifted the door as he spoke. “Don’t you worry, I’ll keep an eye on the family for you.” He taunted as he slowly closed the door, the light draining away inch by inch. “Be good and I’ll let you know.”

He dropped the door entirely and it clanged shut. The lock turned and you were left in darkness. Tears rolled down your eyes and light sparked in your blurred vision. The light bulb crackled to life above you, a small beacon in the pit. You could hear him moving the boards back onto the hatch.

You turned blindly and fell onto the bed. You were poked by the corner of a familiar shape. You sat up and grabbed the book from atop the thin blanket. The silhouette of the raven shone beneath the wire. The book fell open as your sight came clearer through the tears. The world clearer through the dark. The scraping and steps above faded away.

“Then silence, and stillness, and night were the universe.”

[cosmicbash]

Hey, So I'm having a bad week and would really like an outed Kells and Em fic, it could be as angsty or fluffy as you want, I just need a happy ending. A little joy from a situation like that would be really nice right now, Thanks P.S. I've been reading your writing for a while and I think they're really great!! I hope you keep having Inspiration to do so!!!

Sorry I'm so late replying to this!! Ive had a shitty busy week myself and i feel horrible its taken me so long!!

I feel like instagram would be Em and Kelly's downfall. Just because the younger rapper is constantly on it, posting little snippets to interact with his fans, going Live, and of course posting pictures.

Slip ups are inevitable once he and Marshall start spending more and more time together.

Because Colson can't just cut back, when he does that fans start speculating. Questioning why exactly he's suddenly getting more secretive or searching through what he does share with a fine tooth comb to spot a new mystery girlfriend.

So Colson continues posting away on instagram and filming his lives, even when he and Marshall are together. Ignoring the headshakes and looks the older rapper shoots his way everytime he's on live laughing it up.

At first it's awkward, Marshall and him keep alternating who's going to duck into the bathroom or step out for coffee. But eventually they get used to it and comfortable enough that Colson can walk around their hotel room filming while Marshall naps on the couch.

The blonde even gets cheeky enough to start teasing his partner, like snapping photos of their shared brunches, or taking after sex selfies that always get Marshall hiding under the blankets or kicking him.

Really Colson should have seen it coming. You can only fly so close to the sun before you get burned afterall.

The mistakes start piling up soon enough.

Marshall accidentally yelling to ask him something when he's recording a live, Colson walking a bit too close to the couch and flashing the hoodie clad rappers back, the bottom of Marshall's AA necklace in the back of a breakfast shot, and more minor incidents that branch out from there.

At first Colson can just brush the unfamilar voice and thankfully covered up body as one of his assitants or friends. But as soon as that necklace peek gets out the internet does its thing and speculation over a possible collab strikes up.

The assumption being he gave everyone the glimpse on purpose.

Of course he's relieved the public isn't immediately jumping to the crazy possibility of them banging. Even though thats exactly what theyre doing. But him and Marshall AREN'T actually making any music together, and neither of them has publicly squashed their beef. Afterall, what better cover than pretending to still hate eachother?

But now that's all out the window. Colson's lack of an immediate excuse and rapid deletion of the photo just convincing the media their theories are correct.

Paul is of course furious, reaming both of them out over the phone about how they better get on a track together or figure out some new cover. And Diddy, well Diddy rarely comes off his self made throne to speak to Colson, let alone acknowledge most of his success, but the rapper actually does inquire to him about the whole spectacle. And Colson can't help but find himself wishing he had a guy like Paul who knew about them and could just simply yell at him because he still has no idea what to even say.

They settle on quiet ambiguous statements from their labels about how the two of them are working towards mending their beef and that a collaboration isn't exactly out of the question at this moment.

It works. For about a month or two, mostly due to them being apart yet again. The major hype dies down and Colson avoids any and all questions relating to Marshall in his lives and on twitter. The two of them are able to breathe a sigh of relief as temporary as it may be.

Until the next time they make time to see eachother. Colson's got a small charity event in Detroit that he plans on using as an excuse to linger around the city and steal some much needed time with his secret boyfriend.

Of course all eyes are on them yet again, questioning whether the young rapper might also be stopping in to work in some music with his rival.

With paparazzi tailing him more than ever it's impossible for him to just go to Marshall's place like he'd planned. Instead forcing him into renting a suite and wasting most of the day stressing over just how the hell he's supposed to sneak Marshall in with the bastards sitting outside the building like hawks. The other rapper isn't exactly helping either, just sending his usual cryptic texts telling Colson not worry about it but never expanding on what his plan is either.

By the time the blonde finally finishes his busy day and drags himself back to the room he has fully accepted that their rendezvous is not going to happen. Marshall had stopped texting him more than two hours ago and he wasn't about to act even more like a spoiled child by blowing the man's phone up. Colson's just given up. He can't even muster the energy to give the paparazzi outside his hotel more then an annoyed comment about how his life doesn't revolve around collaborations and the finger before slipping inside.

Marshall's presence in his hotel room, already stripped down to his night tee and briefs almost looks like a mirage. But when he shuts the door and crosses the room to bury his face in the other man's neck he smells like ivory soap and that woodsy beard oil the blonde bought him and Colson can't help but hug him closer.

He's so relieved to see him he doesn't even snark back at Marshall's muffled comment that he looks like shit.

The moment is sweet and Colson honestly should have realized it was just the calm before the storm but he's too caught up in complaining about the media and basking in his partner's soft agreements to care.

Before taking off to take his shower he hands Marshall over his phone, suggesting the brunette look through the mess his instragram comment section has become, all the questions and posts he's been tagged in over that little picture and their statements. Because why not? They would inevitably end up laying against eachother in bed scrolling through them all together anyway, at least this way Marshall can get a headstart.

And Marshall does actually swipe through them for a bit, spending more time admiring some of his partners pretty posts than he does reading the never ending stream of comments. The rapper rarely gets on the app himself except to post the occasional merch drop and promo. Social media isn't his forte, and it's not like he could follow Colson's account anyway. Navigating the app and searching for his boyfriends account was too much work when he could just asks for selfies over text.

Thats why when Marshall finishes his browsing and begins backing out of a post back to Colson's homepage he doesn't even care to pay much attention to what he's tapping. The flash of black and loading wheel that lights up the screen completely missed when he tosses it across the bed in lieu of playing around on his own phone.

The livestream he accidentally starts mainly films a blank ceiling through the rest of Colson's shower. The occasional creak and shift on the bed from Marshall's weight and blare of music from his own phones speakers all anyone tuning in can hear.

It doesn't take a brain surgeon for fans to realize the Live has been started unknowingly, but thats not going to stop any of them from filing in.

Maybe if Colson hadn't set his phone to silent the string of text messages might have alerted Marshall to his mistake. But the older rapper relaxes back on the bed less than a foot away blissfully unaware until Colson finally exits the bathroom.

Neither of them notice the phone when Marshall sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed, his body briefly flickering past the frame. They don't see the explosion of comments flying past the screen while they talk and Colson shoves the other man back onto the bed again. Bouncing the phone high enough to almost flip it if fate didn't decide to just scoot it closer to their tangling bodies.

Colson's whole upper body and face is in frame from then on. His cheeks flushed and smile cocky while he straddles his unseen partner. Marshall's fingertips peeking onto the screen where they're tickling the skin covering his ribs.

Its not until after Marshall's sat back up and begun peppering kisses down the front of his throat that he finally catches sight of his half blanket covered phone. An amused accusation about the other rapper trying to sneakily film them prompting Marshall to scoff and reach out for it.

"Probably just the app, shits always opening up to the camera on my phone-"

The rush of comments speeding past the screen and the unmistakeable red dot next to LIVE has Marshall freezing. His wide eyed face fully on screen for 10 seconds before Colson finally pries the phone from his hands to see whats got him so spooked.

Instead of panic, anger is what rushes through Colson's veins. A slew of curses leaving his mouth, before he finally manages to end the live. Phone promptly flying out of his hand against the wall afterwards.

The blonde wants to scream and thrash around. And thats what he does, fingers tearimg at his hair in frustration.

It takes Marshall's fingers softly prying them down for Colson to finally open his eyes again. The utterly terrified look on his partner's face chasing away his residual rage. "Fuck Colson I'm sorry-" its not the first time he's heard Marshall apologize, but it is the first time the man has ever done it while looking so scared of his response.

All the months he'd spent dreaming about his rival making such an expression have nothing on the real thing. And that smug powerful feeling he'd imagined was completely absent now. Just an uncomfortable knot seizing up his chest in it's place.

"I'm not--" his own voice feels tight. Tears threatening to bubble up in his eyes while the reality of the whole situation continues to wash over him. "I'm not mad at you, alright?"

He's mad at the media, at his fans, the rap industry, everything that makes him feel like this little slip up and intimate moment of theirs going viral will ruin their lives.

Colson's sick of hiding who he is and who he's with. Its utter bullshit. Its 2019 for chrissakes, who gives a shit who's banging who? They both make bad ass music either way and liking dick shouldn't change that.

Pushing up off of Marshall, Colson moves to climb off the bed. His hopefully not smashed phone across the room his current focus. But the older rapper snags his wrist and wont let him take more than one step.

And thats when Colson realizes just why Marshall looks so terrified. The man's worried that this is it, that he's going to just leave.

Run away from their problems and abandon the relationship they've been cultivating. Just go full scorched earth.

And that hurts.

So instead the blonde softens his expression and climbs back into bed, onto the other man's lap to hug him tightly. "Fuck Marsh--" He's not about to let the media ruin another relationship. "I love you."

The responding hug is so tight it hurts but Colson doesn't stop. "I fucking love you."

They're falling back onto the bed, legs tangling and Colson's teeth grinding while he rubs his face along the older rapper's shoulder. "I love you"

He doesn't even know what else to say. Now that the words are out it's all his tongue can shape.

"Colson-" Marshall's warm palms are cupping his face, pulling him back so they can stare at eachother

"I love you-" that one hurts the most, maybe because they're eye to eye and just looking at Marshall's soft expression and the possibility of losing it makes him want to crumble. "Please-"

He chokes back a wet sound in the back of his throat before they kiss. Pressing as close as he can, practically trying to glue their mouths together permanently.

Marshall's afraid to lose him just as much. They're idiots for ever thinking it might be a possibilility.

The media can get blown, and so can the industry and their so called fans. The cats out of the bag now and theirs no turning back. If they don't like them together than tough shit. They've both dragged themselves up out of the pits before, this will be no different.

Except, this time they have eachother to lean on.

"I love you to you cornball."

(((Ffffff this sat in my drafts cuz I got distracted by work and life. Im so fucking sorry anon!!!)))

((Also! Thank you anon! For the compliments! Im glad you enjoy my works!))

[bellemorte180]

Just Good Business: Chapter Four

Caroline Salvatore, married into one of New York's most brutal crime families.

Niklaus Mikaelson, a notorious mob boss who is hell bent on taking down the Slavatores.

It's an affair for the ages.

A/N: This chapter is a bit lighter and calmer than the rest of the story. It takes place four months after chapter 2.

Four Months Later

Life had become a shit show for Caroline. Once the media got wind that Stefan Salvatore had been arrested for murder, the world turned on its axis. Reporters and journalist all descended upon them like a swarm of locus. Caroline was not a fool. She knew that Klaus owned multiple people in the news business, it was how he stayed out of the limelight, and he was doing this. He was making life very difficult for Damon and Stefan. Their movements were restricted, watched by the entire world. He was smoothing them, putting an insane amount of pressure just to show that he could.

Stefan was able to make bail and was out of his jail cell within days. Their lawyer, Alaric Saltzman, was good and knew exactly what loopholes to look for to get his client out of distress. However, the prosecution insisted that Stefan was a flight risk and needed to be monitored. So, he was slapped with an ankle bracelet and all of his movements were tracked. Now the courts were filled with motions, continuances and a long bureaucratic game of chess on whether or not Stefan Salvatore was going to prison. The public perception was screaming for a guilty verdict. The mansion was under complete surveillance at all times; however, the feed did not go to the FBI. Stefan was caged in; backed into a corner that he had trouble digging himself out of and he knew that Klaus was behind it. He assumed that Klaus was seeking revenge against the death of his brother Kol. A debt was owed and now Klaus was coming to collect. Both Damon and Stefan were feeling the weight of Klaus’s power and she could see behind their eyes that they knew that they were picking a fight they could not win.

But their pride would not let them surrender; even if Klaus allowed them too.

Everything was in lockdown. Stefan and Damon hired more bodyguards and Caroline was constantly followed. It was rare that she was allowed out of the house without someone by her side and the increase of guards made it so that it was not only Enzo that accompanied her. They came in shifts, different people in and out daily that worked for them and Caroline thought it was a foolish move. She knew Klaus would grab at such an opportunity and that some of these men belonged to him; along with an order to step in if Stefan even attempted to lay a hand on Caroline again.

At first, Caroline was able to get out of the house here and there, but it was becoming increasingly harder. If it wasn’t the media tracking her down, Stefan had her guarded. His paranoia was unraveling with his lack of control and he was worried that Caroline would seek out Damon to tell him his dirty little secret. While Stefan was boxed in, Damon had more freedom. He was not so closely watched by the media nor did he have the government, Elijah, tracking his every move. He was able to conduct business and do what needed to be done as long as he was careful.

But it wasn’t easy. Klaus side stepped him at every turn. Klaus had the twelve men that Damon had delivering important cargo from Italy, slaughtered; a bloody massacre that only made the news because the Mayor’s son, Tyler Lockwood was killed in the crossfire. By the time Damon reached the docks, all of the men were dead, and his delivery gone. Turns out Damon was importing weapons that were not legal in the United States, let alone New York.

With Damon’s continued absence, doing the work for both himself and Stefan, Elena found herself at the mansion with Stefan and Caroline more often. The ongoing affair became more frequent; it was the only thing keeping Stefan calm and while Caroline thought it was completely insane that the two of them would act in such a way, with so many eyes on them, she couldn’t help be thankful at Stefan’s calmed temper.

That, and as Klaus had told her months ago, Stefan and Elena would be a tragedy of their own making. It would only be a matter of time before the wrong person said the right thing to Damon, and everything would unravel. All Klaus and Caroline had to do was be patient.

In the meantime, Caroline just tried to live her life as though nothing was wrong and stay out of Stefan’s way.

“I have an appointment with Dr. Laughlin at 8:30. Caroline Salvatore.” Caroline told the elderly nurse behind the desk. Stefan did not even blink when she told him that she had a doctor’s appointment and that it was for her birth control shot. He just told her to ensure that Enzo and Maddox went with her. Maddox was a bigger man, burly, terrifying and dedicated to his job. He was young and very eager; two things Caroline found to be a troubling combination.

“Oh, I’m sorry dear. Dr. Laughlin resigned last month.” Caroline was taken aback. She had not heard that her doctor had left the practice. “No matter. We have you set up to meet with a Dr. Maxfield. I’m sure he will be more than happy to assist you. Have a seat.” Caroline nodded and made her way towards one of the seats in the lobby.

“What’s wrong?” Maddox asked her.

“Dr. Laughlin is no longer here. I was not made aware she left. That’s all.” Caroline pursed her lips. She had her theories. It was known that Dr. Laughlin was dating Stefan’s attorney and Caroline would not put it past Klaus to have her removed. She wished she had been informed of this change but knew that communication between her and Klaus was difficult for the time being. She had not seen him in weeks, let alone spoken to him; minus the scarce messages she was able to pass through Enzo.

“Caroline Salvatore.” Caroline stood from her chair, happy that her appointments were always early in the morning and followed the nurse into the doctor’s office. The nurse went about the normal routine, checking her vitals, weight and asking all the typical questions. She handed Caroline a cup and pointed to the bathroom. She paused slightly, not sure why she needed a urine sample but brushed it off. New doctor and seemingly a more thorough one.

Then she waited what felt like forever. The thing about doctors’ offices were that they wanted their patients to be early only to make them wait. When a knock sounded on the door, Caroline bid entry, relieved. Dr. Maxfield was a man in his mid to late thirties with blonde hair, blue eyes and a gentle face.

“Mrs. Salvatore. I’m Dr. Maxfield. I am taking over Dr. Laughlin’s patients for the time being.” He held out his hand for her to shake. He seemed harmless enough and she knew that Klaus would have vetted him thoroughly. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Normal. Fine.”

“Well. It has been a bit since the last time you were in.” Dr. Maxfield replied. He looked over her records. “About six months.”

“That’s not right.” Caroline narrowed her eyes. “I come every three months for my birth control shot. My appointments are always made a year in advance.”

“Mrs. Salvatore. You haven’t been here in six months.” Dr. Maxfield insisted. For a second, Caroline wondered why someone would delete her visit out of her medical records; but then she thought back to where she was three months ago.

She was healing from Stefan’s attack. He was facing charges and coming home with an ankle monitor. People in and out of her home, trying to stay alive and do what she could to help Klaus end this miserable existence. When her calendar reminder came up for her appointment, she meant to reschedule and never did. She never made that appointment and when her phone remaindered of this one, she didn’t think twice.

“Shit.” Caroline’s eyes where wide. “That’s why you had me take urine sample. It was a pregnancy test.”

“You’re quick.” He smiled at her. “Congratulations Mrs. Salvatore. You’re pregnant.” Caroline felt as though her entire world came crashing down around her. This was not in the plan. Her and Klaus never once talked about children and what their future held once everything was said and done. She knew she would be with him but beyond that, the future was a mystery. “Without doing a blood test, I can’t exactly tell you how far along you are.”

“Five weeks. It would have to be.” Her mind flashed to that night in the back of Klaus’s limo. She had a few moments out of the house when Stefan asked her to leave the house for the evening. She knew that Stefan was having her followed, he always had for a while now, but she was able to sneak out a back door of the department store she was in. She dressed up for Klaus; wore a little black number that left little to the imagination. It was one of their briefest encounters but suddenly became more significant. That was the only time they had been together since the media storm hit. It had been weeks prior to that meeting that they had been together and weeks since.

“Five weeks.” The doctor smiled kindly, understanding her meaning. “Do you want to see the baby? I can do an ultrasound.” Numbly, Caroline nodded her head. Thousands of thoughts rang through her mind. Did Klaus want children? Could she bring a baby into this world? What was she going to do about Stefan? His trial could drag out for months and if him and Elena continued to remain discrete, Damon may never know of their affair.

Dr. Maxfield left her for a few minutes before returning with the equipment. Caroline laid down and lifted her shirt in order to show abdomen. Dr. Maxfield put some jell on her stomach, Caroline wincing at the cold feeling, and moved the wand around. She watched the screen and looked at the black and white image of her uterus. “It’s too soon to hear the heartbeat but do you see that small bean shaped thing right there?”

“Yes.”

“That’s your baby.” That moment when Caroline thought the world was crumbling, vanished. She looked at that small bean and she knew that nothing was more important in the world. She would do anything to protect that baby-her baby. Klaus’s baby. The doctor just let Caroline look at the screen, a feeling of love consumed her. “Do you want a picture?”

“Yes. Please.” He nodded, snapped a picture with the wand and turned the machine off. The moment the image was gone, Caroline felt a sense of loss. The doctor left the office again and she cleaned the jell off her stomach. It took a few moments, that had Caroline pacing the room, before he returned. He gave her a small smile and handed her the photo. Seeing the ultrasound again, had Caroline placing her hand on her abdomen. Caroline continued to stare at the photo while the doctor rattled off recommendations that she would need to follow. She nodded her head, taking note of how to keep herself as healthy as possible.

“Now, it would be best to see you in about a month. Once the holidays have passed should be enough time. We can check your progress from there.” Caroline nodded. A month. That bought her some time to be able to see Klaus. She would have to figure out a way for her to get out of the house and to Klaus. Before she made any sort of decisions, she needed to know where he stood on this.

Much to Caroline’s relief, an opportunity presented itself about four days later…and in the form of Elena.

Caroline was sitting in one of the back rooms of the mansion, staring out at the December snow that was falling around them. The last few days found Caroline kept to herself. Damon and Elena were a constant presence in the home; some new catastrophe seemed to have befallen them, but Caroline tuned them all out. She was too focused on the life growing inside her and wondering how she was going to get them out of this mess.

“Caroline?” She turned to see that Elena had entered the room with an uncertain smile on her lips. Elena moved forward slightly and sat down in the chair by Caroline. “Sorry if I disturbed you. I couldn’t stand to listen to Damon and Stefan fight anymore.”

“What happened now?”

“You don’t know?” Elena looked at her confused and Caroline just shrugged. She knew that they all thought she was a spoiled little socialite that paid little to no attention to what went on around her, and Caroline was fine with that. “Mayor Lockwood is dead.”

“Oh?”

“Drowned in her own bathtub. Too much wine according to the news report.” Elena snorted at that. Caroline said nothing in return. It was Klaus. Damon was pressuring the Mayor to pardon Stefan. Klaus was already displeased by the fact that she had made a deal with them previously, he was not about to forgive her again. “Load of bull if you ask me; but I didn’t come in here to talk about Carol Lockwood.”

“Why did you come in here?”

“I need a favor.” Caroline’s expression had to have shown her surprise because Elena sighed. “And to say thank you. For everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah. Everything.” Caroline knew what Elena was trying to avoid saying but Caroline wanted to hear it from her lips. “Things are bad right now and it will be for a while. Damon and Stefan are trying to find a way to take Klaus down. One way or another, we will figure it out but right now it is hard.” She sighed and looked at Caroline. “You could have made things a lot worse for Stefan and I. I want to say thank you for staying quite…about him and I, I mean.”

“Elena.” It was hard for Caroline to keep the laughter from her voice. “Let me be plain with you. I don’t want to be married to Stefan, no more than he wants to be married to me. You know that.” Elena nodded. “The fact that he likes to fuck you behind closed doors, I don’t care. In fact, it makes my life easier because if Stefan has you, he leaves me alone. Why would I go run to your husband and ruin that? So, what do you want from me?”

“Fair point.” Elena nodded. Caroline skipped over the fact that Damon most likely wouldn’t believe her anyway; not without proof. “Damon will be out tonight. He is going to deal with this issue regarding the Mayor’s death. He has a few meetings and will be gone for a while. I was hoping that Stefan and I could have the house tonight.”

Part of Caroline wanted to tell Elena to ‘fuck off’ but she refrained. Here was the woman, who was fucking Caroline’s husband, asking her to leave her own home in order to for her to fuck Caroline’s husband. If this was not the life Caroline lived, she would not believe that this would actually happen to real people. However, Caroline knew she had a pressing matter to discuss with Klaus and she was not going to turn down this opportunity.

“Sure.”

“Really?” Elena replied surprised, her big brown eyes blinking at her sister-in-law in confusion. She thought that Caroline would give her a bit more of a hassle. “Thank you.”

“Sure. I haven’t seen Haley in a while. I might see if she is free.” Elena nodded. Clearly seeing that Caroline had no desire to speak to her, she stood from the chair and left the room. Caroline watched her go, rolling her eyes as she went. She pulled her phone from the pocket of her cardigan and pulled up Enzo’s contact information.

Come get me.

When?

An hour.

See you soon Gorgeous.

Caroline clicked her phone off and stared out the window again before pulling herself up. She walked out of the back room and went up the stairs. The house had gone quiet, the argument between Stefan and Damon seemed to have calmed down. Caroline entered the bedroom and pulled out a pair of jeans and her favorite oversized blue sweater. She changed out of her leggings and tossed the cardigan into the dirty laundry basket, heading into the bathroom to shower. Once showered and dressed, she dried her hair and pulled her it up into a messy bun before slipping on a pair of plain boots.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Caroline looked up to see Stefan glaring at her. Apparently, he was going to speak to her today, after being silent for the last few days. Hot and cold, that was Stefan. Caroline stood and walked over to her dresser, that had been replaced after Stefan beat her, and pulled out a small necklace her mother had given her when she was a teenager.

“I’m going to spend a few hours with Haley.”

“Oh really?” His tone told Caroline that Stefan thought otherwise.

“Elena asked to give you two some space. So, that’s what I’m doing.” She could see the shift in his features. “Ask her if you don’t believe me.”

It took everything inside of Caroline not to roll her eyes as she watched Stefan pull out his phone and shoot off a text. Caroline sat down at the vanity she bought shortly after she got married and applied some light makeup. If she applied to much, Stefan would think she was lying to him. If she applied none at all, he would still be suspicious.

“Okay. Go.” Stefan told her, pushing off the door frame. “Take Enzo and Maddox with you and be back before eleven.” With that, he turned and walked towards the shower; turning it on.

Caroline let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She grabbed her bag that she left by her bed and threw her Stefan-approved phone inside. She peeked through the bathroom door to ensure that Stefan was inside the shower before going over to her jewelry box and opening it again. There was a false bottom and Caroline opened it quickly. She pulled out the ultrasound pictures, her phone that Klaus bought her, and put them in a zipper pocket in her purse before closing the jewelry box.

She grabbed her favorite winter coat, slipped it on and went downstairs. She peaked out of the window, just in time to see a black car pull up. Without thinking twice, she all but bolted out the door. Stefan taking a shower and leaving Caroline unsupervised was perfect; neither Enzo nor herself would have to find a way to ditch Maddox. She climbed into the back and rested her head against the leather seat; relieved to see Enzo.

“How the hell did you pull this off?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Caroline muttered. “Drive before Stefan gets out of the shower and realizes there is not another guard with you.” Enzo nodded and pulled out of the drive. He headed towards the city and Caroline looked at the snowy grounds out the window. “Take me to the penthouse, please. Thank you.”

“Anything for you Gorgeous.” Caroline pulled out her two phones. She turned on the phone she used for Klaus and set her other one to forward her calls. Enzo held out his hand and she placed her Stefan-approved phone into his palm. “I need you to do something for me. Later, not now but in a few hours. I want you to destroy that phone.”

“Gorgeous?”

“I’m not going back, Enzo; and I don’t want to be found.” Enzo did a double take but said nothing. He just nodded and kept driving. Caroline scrolled through her contacts and clicked on Klaus’s profile. She dialed his number and waited as the phone rang. As always, Klaus answered for her.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Caroline replied and she could hear Klaus let out a breath. “Elena asked to have a few hours with Stefan and wanted me out of the house.” The look Enzo shot her from the front was pretty hilarious; wide eyes and slacked jaw. Even he, the man who has probably committed murder and other unspeakable crimes, was shocked at the audacity. “I’m coming to the penthouse. Will you be there?”

“I have a few loose ends I need to tie up but heading home. I can meet you there in about two hours. Is that enough time?” Loose ends. Caroline wondered who Klaus was murdering or what trade deal he was making. By the whimpers and groans of pain in the background, Caroline would bet on murder.

“Yes.”

“Perfect. Let yourself in.” Caroline smiled. “I missed you, Caroline.”

“Me too.” The disconnected the call and she could see that Enzo had questions, but she needed to speak with Klaus first. The ride passed in silence and while Enzo was possibly one of the most inappropriate people she knew, she thanked him for allowing her this peace.

They followed the typical protocol. The dropped the car off in some random parking garage before taking one of the cars Klaus had planted around the city. They turned off her Stefan-approved phone to stop the tracking device and drove off. When they reached the tall building where Klaus lived, she entered the lobby and went directly to the elevator; punching in the code for the penthouse. The moment the doors opened to Klaus’s home, Caroline kicked off her boots and hung her jacket up in the closet in the hallway; knowing perfectly well that Klaus would ignore the use of said closet.

The penthouse was immaculate and bright. The outer walls were made of windows, looking out over the city while the rest typically held some piece of priceless art. The floor was completely made of hardwood and he had several fluffy throw rugs stationed around the apartment; something noticed was added only once she mentioned she enjoyed those. Caroline had been to his home several times over their ten-month affair and she loved it because no matter how little time she was there, Klaus wanted her to comfortable there.

And she was.

Having some time to kill, Caroline went into his kitchen. It was a large with a startling view of the city. The counters were made of a steel grey with matching appliances. A round table was just off the kitchen island and a bar cart perched under an impressive painting that Caroline was sure cost more than what most people make in a year.

She rooted through Klaus’s cabinets and found enough ingredients for a vegetarian pasta. Cooking wasn’t something she did often because Stefan preferred to order in constantly; unless Elena was cooking then it was a different story. By the time she was almost ready to put dinner on the table, she heard the elevator ding and heard Klaus step out. She smiled, knowing that he was near.

“Hmm. I could get used to this.” Klaus stated as he came into the kitchen. He took off his winter coat and wrapped his arms around Caroline; kissing the side of her neck. She whimpered slightly; a mixture from his nose being cold and just the feel on his lips on her. It had been weeks since they had seen one another, and she knew that he was itching for physical contact as well. “Smells delicious.”

Klaus’s hands moved to slip under her sweater and cupped her bra-covered breast. He began massaging them while his lips sucked on her neck. Caroline’s head leaned against his shoulder and her eyes fluttered shut. His free hand moved down to the top of her jeans, dipping into them and moving down to cup her center.

“Klaus. I made dinner.” She whimpered out. She should have known that he would want to get her in bed the moment he stepped through the door. They had been without one another for far longer than either one of them would like to do again. In response to her plea, Klaus moved her panties to the side and pressed his fingers against her clit. “Klaus!”

“Dinner will reheat. I want you.” His breath was hot on her ear. He nipped at her ear lobe and Caroline moaned. She loved when he did that; a dirty little secret he knew drove her insane. She tried to not moan was he nipped and sucked at her ear, but her resolve was waning. She should talk to him. She should tell him about the baby but after not seeing him and the way his teeth were grazing against her skin and the pressure that he was putting against her clit did not made the decision easy.

“Fuck it.” She turned off the stove and let her resolve break. She spun around in his arms and kissed him. Hard. She pressed her entire body into his and dug her nails into his hair. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Klaus held her easily and moved to set her on the counter. “No. Bed. It’s been forever since I’ve had you in a bed.”

The devilish smirk that appeared on Klaus’s lips made Caroline shudder in yearning. Instead of letting her down and leading her to his bedroom, he lifted her over his shoulder. She squealed in shock and when she half-heartedly demanded that he put her down, Klaus slapped her ass in response. Once inside the large bedroom, Klaus flipped Caroline down on the king-sized bed. She bounced lightly and she couldn’t help but hear her laughter echo off the walls.

“I love hearing you laugh.” Klaus stated as he kicked off his shoes and crawled up her body. Caroline, who was resting on her forearms, met Klaus in the middle to kiss him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laid back against the bed, pulling Klaus with her. She opened her legs in order for Klaus to rest between them. Klaus immediately began thrusting against her, pushing his arousal against her. Caroline moaned into Klaus’s mouth at the contact. He began pulling at her sweater, pulling it upward. “I need this off.”

“But baby, it’s cold outside.” Caroline teased.

“Then I’ll keep you warm.” Klaus retorted back, causing Caroline to laugh again which only made him smile widely. His dimples appear and Caroline could not help herself but lean up and kiss each of his cheeks before raising her arms up, allowing Klaus to pull the sweater over her head. She reached behind her and unhooked her bra and tossed it to the side. “Beautiful.”

Klaus latched onto her breasts eagerly. He sucked and nipped at one while his hand stroked the other. Caroline whimpered when his teeth grazed her nipple. She arched against his mouth while her nails dug into his shoulders; clawing the fabric of his shirt.

“Why are you still dressed?” He chuckled at her impatience and pulled back. He lifted his Henley over his head and threw it on the ground, forgotten. Using the moment to her advantage, Caroline put her hands on his naked chest and flipped him onto his back. She straddled his hips and rocked herself against him. She brought her lips to his chest, leaving small bite marks across his skin. Her eyes flickered upward and caught him watching her. Klaus threaded his hands through her light blond locks and gripped. He gently pulled her upward, catching her mouth in a kiss.

“No more waiting, Sweetheart. There will be time for teasing later.” Smiling, realizing just how much time they would have to tease one another, she happily rolled off him and began to unbutton her pants. She lifted her hips and pulled them down her legs along with her panties; watching as Klaus did the same. When they both sufficiently naked, Caroline went back to straddling him.

She reached down and grabbed his member, stroking him. Klaus moaned out her name like a prayer. She brought him to her clit, coating his penis in her juices before aligning herself with him. Slowly, she sunk down onto him. The feeling of him stretching her cause her to call her out. Klaus gripped her hips while she placed her hands on his chest. She began to rock and forth, enjoying the feel of him moving inside her.

Caroline knew that Klaus enjoyed watching her ride him. He was one of his favorite positions; watching her take control and use him for her own pleasure. When she began to pick up tempo and her strokes grew harder, Klaus sat up into the sitting position and gripped her hips. The change of the angle caused Caroline to cry out his name.

“Klaus! Please.” She tossed her head back, exposing her neck to him. Klaus latched onto the exposed skin and bit gently. He was always careful never to leave a mark on her and Caroline was done. “Harder. Bite me harder. Mark me.”

“Caroline…” She gripped his hair, pulling it back so he looks at her.

“Bite me. Do it.” Never being able to refuse her, Klaus starting to nip and suck on her neck; marking her. The consequences be damned. Caroline’s hips rocked faster and Klaus reached down between them. He pressed against her clit, rubbing it in circles. “Ah! Do that again.”

Caroline’s orgasm shot through her unexpectedly. Feeling her wither and come in his arms was enough for Klaus to spill himself inside her. It did not last as long as he had imagined it would when he finally got Caroline back into his arms but seeing her lose control like that, it was impossible to hold back. When they calmed down, Klaus laid back down on his bed and let Caroline curl up on his side. She propped herself up on her elbow and peered down at him. She took her finger and traced the length of his nose; causing Klaus to reach out to bite the finger.

“I missed you.” Caroline whispered. “I thought about you every day. Tried to find a way out of that house just so I could see you for more than a quick tryst in the back of a limo.”

“That tryst was quite memorable.” Klaus teased. Caroline bit her bottom lip, he had no idea. “I hate having to let you go each and every time. I want you to stay with me more than I want Stefan’s balls on a silver platter.”

“Charming.” Caroline snorted. She leaned down and kissed him lightly. “I need a teeny tiny favor.”

“Anything.”

“Can you go get my purse?”

“What?”

“It’s in the living room. I have something I want to show you.”

“But it’s cold outside and the bed is warm. You’re warm.”

“The faster you go and get it the faster you can crawl back in here with me.” Klaus gave her an amused sigh. He rolled his eyes at her. He crawled out of bed and walked out of the bedroom; not even bothering to put on the pair of pants. Caroline hopped up, grabbed her panties and that oversized sweater. She dressed quickly and hopped back into bed. Klaus returned with her purse and frowned.

“You put clothes on.”

“Because I don’t want you to get distracted. Now, put on a pair of pants.” Klaus handed her the purse and Klaus rolled his eyes. He grabbed a pair of pajamas pants from his dresser and slipped them on. He flopped down on the bed and looked at her, wearing a smirk.

“What is in that purse that that involved me getting out of this perfectly comfortable bed and away from my beautiful naked girl?” Klaus replied, trying to peer into the purse. She narrowed her eyes and rooted through the bag. She pulled the ultrasound out of the bag and flipped it down so he couldn’t see. She tossed the bag onto the ground and looked at Klaus.

“Okay. So, first things first, I was not expecting this. I was just as surprised and shocked and terrified as you are going to be.” Klaus sat up straighter, his teasing features gone and replaced with a concerned one. She handed him the ultrasound. “I’m pregnant.”

Caroline watched the emotions flash across his face. The color drained slightly, and his pupils darted around, taking in every inch of that photo. He sat up and moved toward the end of the bed, turning his back from her. His shoulders were tense. She could not read his reaction. Was he happy? Didn’t see so but he wasn’t screaming or raging; she was unsure what to think. She wasn’t expecting him to jump for joy, but she didn’t like the silence. Caroline crawled across the bed and wrapped her arms around him.

“I need to know something and please be honest with me.” Klaus whispered when she pressed her head against his back. The tone of his voice was dark, and she could hear the fear in it. “Is there any chance that Stefan is the father?”

The question took Caroline off guard. She had not expected him to question her on whether or not he was the father. Part of her wanted to be insulted; he knew that she did not want to sleep with Stefan nor had she in a long time. Then the calmer part of her brain reasoned that she knew what this was stemming from. He was the bastard child born from an affair; he didn’t want to become Mikael. He was presented with the very real possibility that the woman he loved was pregnant with another man’s baby.

“No.”

“Please Caroline. Don’t tell me what I want to hear. I need to know.” He turned to look at her and she could see the redness of his cheeks. He must have been tormenting himself over the fact that she was still married to the bastard; that she would leave him to return to the home she had with Stefan. He knew she didn’t want to but that was the nature of their life. She moved around him, putting her knees on either side of his hips; straddling him. “If there is any chance, it doesn’t change a thing. I’ll raise this baby-“

Caroline placed a finger on his lips, silencing him. She then took his face into her hands and looked him directly in the eye.

“I am being completely honest with you when I tell you that Stefan and I have not had sex in months. It had been awhile since that night I caught him with Elena, and he had no use for me in his bed since he had her. There is zero chance that he is the father of this baby.” Caroline grabbed Klaus’s hand and placed it on her stomach. “This baby, your baby, was conceived in the back of a limo during rush hour traffic on a night that I snuck away from my abuser to be with the man I love.”

Klaus leaned up and kissed Caroline and she could taste the salt from his tears on her lips. The kiss was gentle and soft. There was a side to Klaus that he never showed the world. Those who knew him only saw the monster he painted. He covered himself in blood, fear and chaos. He peddled every illegal substance known to man and he was, by definition, an awful human being. However, there was a part of him that truly cared. She saw it when he spoke of his brother Kol or about the day he had to send his baby sister Rebekah away. She saw it whenever he made love to her and held her close to him. She saw the man that hid himself away from the world and she would love him whether or not he was covered in blood or tears.

“You’re not going back.” Klaus whispered to her gently. He moved to stand, and Caroline climbed off him. He pushed off the bed and walked out of the bedroom; Caroline not being able to do anything but follow him. He was in the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of water; the ultrasound still clutched in his hand. She could see his mind at work, a thousand scenarios flashing behind his eyes.

“Klaus?”

“You can’t go back there Caroline.” He hissed out but she knew it wasn’t directed at her. She watched as he started to pace around the kitchen. “Every time I watched you leave me to go back to that…...hell…. it killed me inside. I never knew if he was going to snap. I never knew if you would be in the wrong place during one of his moods. I saw the pictures Caroline. I saw what he did to Meredith Fell…to you mother. When I saw the bruises he left on your body and all I wanted to do was burn him alive.” “I know.”

“But I couldn’t. It would just make everything worse because when there is Stefan, there is Damon who is just as bad.” He huffed. “I’ve done a lot of unforgivable things. I am a horrible man. I’ve gunned down dozens of men and innocent people have gotten stuck in the crossfire. Just last night I drowned the Mayor in her bathtub. This very evening, before I came home and made love to you, I killed a man who worked for Damon. I will admit everything I have done but selfishly, I love you. I can’t lose you. I can’t lose….” He looked down at the ultrasound. “I can’t lose either of you.”

“I know Klaus.” Caroline stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pressed her head against his chest, listing to his heart pounding widely in is chest. “When I walked out of that house today, I had no intention to go back. I have nothing left there that I want.”

“Good.” Klaus picked up her left hand and pulled the wedding ring Stefan put there almost two years prior off. He tossed it across the room. “Because your mine. I won’t let him touch you again and I swear to you that I will kill him. Maybe not directly, but I will be the reason why he dies.”