#but also it makes impossible to communicate properly

[abyss-hydra-archived]

That post started as a vague post, but, fortunately, it changed into just a thoughts.

More in the tags.

[linterteatime]

pwease don't repost! the sillies™

[hecksupremechips]

I love to imagine Rebecca as trans like it just has become so ingrained in my mind it feels weird it’s not canon. She realized at a young age and her parents were supportive and let her present how she wanted and they used her name and pronouns, but they weren’t around enough to go the extra mile for her and make sure she was being protected. She was the target of some pretty bad bullying at school, both from the students and the staff, and Ashton was the first person to defend her. Ashton is cishet (cuz I think it’s funny) and hes kinda ignorant at first but he tries his best and he just likes Rebecca and wants good things for her and he’s so emo he scares away the bullies lol. And this was definitely a big part in Rebecca gaining feelings for him he just showed her this special kinda care that no one else ever did, and it’s what makes her extra insecure as the years go by. Cuz she wonders if maybe the reason Ashton never seems to reciprocate her feelings is because she’s trans and he just never thought to see her as romance material as a result. Which is a line of thinking that gets out of control really bad and she never gets to have the closure she wants with it either

She tells Isabella that’s shes trans just cuz they’re best friends and it sorta comes up eventually. Isabella was a tomboy growing up so she can definitely relate to the bullying shit pretty well and they are very protective of each other and vow to beat up anyone who talks shit about the other. They also just open each other’s minds a bit, Isabella helps Rebecca feel more comfortable in knowing there’s many different ways to be a woman, Rebecca helps Isabella maybe explore her feelings about her own gender and whether or not she’s really attached to womanhood. Zach finds out in a more casual way, it’s just something he learns cuz it felt weird that he was the only one who didn’t know and well. He’s a good guy, he wouldn’t mind. It’s not something the two of them ever talk about really, aside from bonding over a few shared experiences with having to deal with assholes. And really, being trans just isn’t something Rebecca wants to talk about too much, just because she’s gotten to a point where’s she’s experienced being stealth and she knows how quickly people can turn on you when they know, and she understandably doesn’t wanna deal with that shit. But because her friends are so supportive, she doesn’t exhale and let herself just exist naturally around them and it does help her feel less insecure about who she is

Sexuality wise I think she’s "straight" I think she’s spent most of her life looking at Ashton and just assuming she’d be with a man but once she finally gets to give up on him she has Moments with Isabella or like a certain fondness for Marianne and their shared love of history and other nerd shit and shes just like. Uh Oh 😟

[cloudprincesslady]

might fuck around and reread cinderwings

[pillowfort-social]

Generative AI Policy (February 9, 2024)

As of February 9, 2024, we are updating our Terms of Service to prohibit the following content:

Images created through the use of generative AI programs such as Stable Diffusion, Midjourney, and Dall-E.

This post explains what that means for you. We know it’s impossible to remove all images created by Generative AI on Pillowfort. The goal of this new policy, however, is to send a clear message that we are against the normalization of commercializing and distributing images created by Generative AI. Pillowfort stands in full support of all creatives who make Pillowfort their home. Disclaimer: The following policy was shaped in collaboration with Pillowfort Staff and international university researchers. We are aware that Artificial Intelligence is a rapidly evolving environment. This policy may require revisions in the future to adapt to the changing landscape of Generative AI. 

-

Why is Generative AI Banned on Pillowfort?

Our Terms of Service already prohibits copyright violations, which includes reposting other people’s artwork to Pillowfort without the artist’s permission; and because of how Generative AI draws on a database of images and text that were taken without consent from artists or writers, all Generative AI content can be considered in violation of this rule. We also had an overwhelming response from our user base urging us to take action on prohibiting Generative AI on our platform.  

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How does Pillowfort define Generative AI?

As of February 9, 2024 we define Generative AI as online tools for producing material based on large data collection that is often gathered without consent or notification from the original creators.

Generative AI tools do not require skill on behalf of the user and effectively replace them in the creative process (ie - little direction or decision making taken directly from the user). Tools that assist creativity don't replace the user. This means the user can still improve their skills and refine over time. 

For example: If you ask a Generative AI tool to add a lighthouse to an image, the image of a lighthouse appears in a completed state. Whereas if you used an assistive drawing tool to add a lighthouse to an image, the user decides the tools used to contribute to the creation process and how to apply them. 

Examples of Tools Not Allowed on Pillowfort: Adobe Firefly* Dall-E GPT-4 Jasper Chat Lensa Midjourney Stable Diffusion Synthesia

Example of Tools Still Allowed on Pillowfort: 

AI Assistant Tools (ie: Google Translate, Grammarly) VTuber Tools (ie: Live3D, Restream, VRChat) Digital Audio Editors (ie: Audacity, Garage Band) Poser & Reference Tools (ie: Poser, Blender) Graphic & Image Editors (ie: Canva, Adobe Photoshop*, Procreate, Medibang, automatic filters from phone cameras)

*While Adobe software such as Adobe Photoshop is not considered Generative AI, Adobe Firefly is fully integrated in various Adobe software and falls under our definition of Generative AI. The use of Adobe Photoshop is allowed on Pillowfort. The creation of an image in Adobe Photoshop using Adobe Firefly would be prohibited on Pillowfort. 

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Can I use ethical generators? 

Due to the evolving nature of Generative AI, ethical generators are not an exception.

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Can I still talk about AI? 

Yes! Posts, Comments, and User Communities discussing AI are still allowed on Pillowfort.

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Can I link to or embed websites, articles, or social media posts containing Generative AI? 

Yes. We do ask that you properly tag your post as “AI” and “Artificial Intelligence.”

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Can I advertise the sale of digital or virtual goods containing Generative AI?

No. Offsite Advertising of the sale of goods (digital and physical) containing Generative AI on Pillowfort is prohibited.

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How can I tell if a software I use contains Generative AI?

A general rule of thumb as a first step is you can try testing the software by turning off internet access and seeing if the tool still works. If the software says it needs to be online there’s a chance it’s using Generative AI and needs to be explored further. 

You are also always welcome to contact us at moderation@pillowfort.social if you’re still unsure.

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How will this policy be enforced/detected?

Our Team has decided we are NOT using AI-based automated detection tools due to how often they provide false positives and other issues. We are applying a suite of methods sourced from international universities responding to moderating material potentially sourced from Generative AI instead.

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How do I report content containing Generative AI Material?

If you are concerned about post(s) featuring Generative AI material, please flag the post for our Site Moderation Team to conduct a thorough investigation. As a reminder, Pillowfort’s existing policy regarding callout posts applies here and harassment / brigading / etc will not be tolerated. 

Any questions or clarifications regarding our Generative AI Policy can be sent to moderation@pillowfort.social.

[luulapants]

Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

[olderthannetfic]

hi, as someone who is tragically gen Z and only ever read AO3, can I ask: what was so great about LiveJournal? Like, I know that there were fics posted there (and I've even read about the "purge", so I get why it isn't used anymore) and that it was sort of a forum-type thing. But what I don't understand, wouldn't Tumblr fill in the latter function? How was that site any different? I see a lot of people reminiscing about it and I'm confused

--

A big factor in LJ's greatness is timing and nostalgia.

It was genuinely great, but it wasn't quite as great as all of the Lo, shall the Golden Age ne'er come again? posts suggest.

LJ arrived at a pivotal time in the development of the internet both in terms of technical stuff and how many people had access. Many fans who are now in their thirties to fifties first discovered fandom through LJ and many were at a time in their lives when they were feeling energetic and up to making lots of new friends—and to figuring out how to make a site work for them.

I got on LJ in 2002 when it required invites. Fandom arrived in droves in 2003, first via coordinated campaigns to get invites to key people and then when LJ opened up free account creation to everyone. Back then, LJ's features sucked. It was impossible to search properly, among other things. At its height (2005-7, let's say), there was a reasonable site search, and fans had developed all sorts of community resources for finding each other.

People often remember this phase but not the early days of suckitude.

This development parallels how Tumblr used to not have that private chat feature and how a lot of fuckyeah[whatever] type tumblrs have helped curate the site and make it much more usable for fans. Fandom draining away from LJ after strikethrough also parallels people draining away from Tumblr after the purge.

There are people who talk about Tumblr the way my cohort talks about LJ...

And to the shock of no one, they are people who came of age on Tumblr, who found fandom via Tumblr, who were on Tumblr during pivotal times in their lives and ones when they had energy to make friends and figure out how a site worked.

Those same Tumblrites are now making all the same geriatric-sounding posts we LJers do about how other sites lack the required features to be good for fandom while missing that 90% of tumblr's "features" at its height (2012-2016, let's say) were actually fan-created and were basically the same as any fandom newsletter or links page or all the versions of this kind of personal curation stretching back to long before the internet existed.

What life phase you hit a site at matters.

--

With all of that said, no, LJ was not a forum. It was a blogging site with threaded comments.

The key point to understand is that conversation was always happening in a specific person's space. Unlike on a true forum, people were in the comments on a particular post in a journal owned by another fan. (On a forum, there's the first post in a thread, but it's still more of a communal space with less of a hierarchy.)

Overall, the LJ format can have a feeling a bit like you're over at someone's house for tea. There's more of a sense of intimacy and also behaving yourself in front of community members.

Tumblr being obscure and impossible to find anything in does give it some of the same vibe relative to Twitter, but it's still part of modern social media that tries to shove every rando into the face of every other rando.

But it wasn't just vibes: LJ also had robust privacy features where you could lock a post to this or that group of friends. You could moderate your comments section properly. Tumblr has far fewer controls to force people to behave or leave on a technical level.

--

The biggest thing many people miss about LJ is the threaded comments. At least by late LJ and on Dreamwidth, you can expand and collapse threads, making it far easier to deal with a massive comments section. But more than that, things are properly threaded with multiple levels of hierarchy that are all easily visible in the same place.

On Tumblr, it used to be extremely difficult to find all of the actual commentary on a post. Nowadays, it's far easier, but you still have to scroll chronologically, and multiple versions of a post with a long chain of commentary may be much more divorced from each other than what would happen in a LJ comments section.

--

But could we use Tumblr pretty much how we used LJ?

We could.

I do.

--

The key things that people tend to miss about LJ, aside from the younger and more excited version of themselves or the friends they've lost since then, are:

Heavily text-based

It may sound odd on the modern internet, but there are a lot of people whose brains don't like or handle an image-heavy site well. They were everywhere in SF book fandom. They were everywhere on the early internet. Today, they're hanging out on Dreamwidth and still going to their SF cons. They're usually not on Tumblr.

You could follow the discussion

Threaded comments help, but a lot of it is about having some place you can check for updates. It wasn't actually that easy to follow big LJ discussions unless you were subscribed to comments and reading along as things were happening instead of coming along after the entire mass of comments had been left.

The tone of the discussion is intellectual and one's enemies are "idiots", not "problematic"

All this requires is a penchant for longwindedness and an itchy blocking finger to remove anyone slinging ad hominems from the comments section.

On tumblr, it's as simple as conversations happening in the replies on a popular account and that person not tolerating suibaiting and threats.

(And make no mistake, a lot of LJ discussion was in the comments on popular accounts, not spread equally between everyone's.)

It does require that multiple people like that tone and want to engage in that way, but lots of people do want to.

--

These days, I interact with tumblr by checking my askbox and reading my activity page. The vast, vast majority of my posts are ones where I'm the OP, so if I block someone, they're booted from the discussion entirely.

For me... yeah, Tumblr functions almost exactly like LJ.

Also like LJ, while I'm hosting the conversation, if you hang around, you'll see the same people again and again in the comments. They may or may not also host that kind of conversation in their space, and there's a larger pool of lurkers who have some notion of which people count as regulars. Other people are watching from the shadows, enjoying or deriding the takes of the usual crowd.

People presumably do like reading my lengthy commentary or they wouldn't be here, but my tumblr wouldn't be popular like this without a healthy pool of other people who chime in regularly. It's not just that there are more people: it's that you see the same people over time. There's a bit more sense of place and community than on some parts of the internet.

--

So, in my opinion, the failure to just recreate LJ fandom on Tumblr was a skill issue.

Threaded comments were great, but LJ culture came from mailing lists, and mailing lists had the same issue as tumblr with the diverging threads.

We solved that back then by clipping out only the parts we wanted to respond to (you'd write "snip" around the quotation to show it was incomplete). We solved the smaller LJ issue by linking to other posts we were referencing and doing discussion link roundups. We solve it on tumblr by, again, linking to what we're talking about and even quoting multiple reblog chains in our own reblog of just one chain.

--

Tumblr's technical features and even general crap-ness aren't really the problem. 90s and early 00s sites regularly went down for periods of time unthinkable today.

The missing piece is people.

When one is in an active fandom with others who curate or with friends who let one know what's up, a site with imperfect features is easy to figure out and retrofit for fandom's needs. When one already feels out of touch and is between fannish passions—or at least fannish passions anyone else cares about—seeing the potential in a new site is hard.

--

Threaded comments are different and better.

LJ's built-in way to see everyone's blog in your own style was better. The automatic timestamps and the ease of seeing a paginated archive of an entire blog was better than tumblr's endless scroll and lack of clear date labeling. But some of that can be fixed with xkit or knowing your way around tumblr well.

A lot of it is nostalgia for the lj era and a refusal to take the time to figure out how to use tumblr in an oldschool internet way.

--

So by all means, people, weigh in about what made LJ great or how the culture felt at the time...

But if I see one more god damn response going "You can't have a conversation on tumblr!" in reply to my tumblr, which contains nothing but conversation, I am coming for you.

[alexsoenomel]

About Love(Dean Winchester x Reader drabble)

Summary: You and Dean have a conversation about life before falling asleep.

Warnings: None

Note: I saw this kind of dialogue in Neil Gaiman's American Gods and since I'm trying to get back to writing I decided to write just that, no descriptors, just dialogue.

"Dean, what was your dream before becoming a hunter?"

"I've never really thought of that, why?"

"I've been thinking about my dead dream and started wondering about yours."

"And what was it?"

"I was young and lost, so I had a couple of things in mind and that would also change from time to time. From a psychologist to librarian, but one thing always stayed and that was I wanted to write books."

"You never told me you like to write."

"Used to. And you never told me about your dream."

"I never had time to think about that. My old man gave me a riffle before I even realized I could have a dream."

"That's impossible everyone has a dream."

"Dreaming wasn't a thing in our household, I guess."

"What about love? Family? Something you wanted to do when you were a kid."

"I was too busy taking care of Sam to think about my own needs and wants. But I wanted a family at one point when I got older that's for sure."

"Like kids?"

"Yeah, I told you about Lisa and Ben. I've experienced what it would be like to have a normal life and I really liked it, but the job never leaves you."

"I know. When I was a teenager I used to write stories every single day after school and I was convinced I would grow up to be a writer slash something because doing one job for the rest of my life sounded so boring and yet here we are."

"What kind of stories did you write?"

"Romance, lots and lots of romance."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, I was a lonely teenager obsessed with love and being in love. My parents used to tell me that I loved too much and guys I dated never appreciated that."

"That makes sense."

"How so? You appreciate the way I love and put the same amount of effort in this relationship."

"Yeah but it took time. I didn't really know what I was doing when we first got together. I knew your heart was made not to be broken, but I was still struggling not to hurt you. I knew underneath that badassery was someone gentle and kind."

"Hey, sue me but I still try."

"And I knew you needed time, especially since you're not really famous for communicating your feelings properly."

"Yeah, you do. You're the first person to NOT hurt me just because..."

"That's the last thing I wanna do and you know that."

"I do. You're also the first person that made me think about having kids with..."

"I know."

"I never told you I wanted kids."

"Last year when you thought you were pregnant I saw it on your face. You were so disappointed when you saw only one line."

"To be honest I was scared, but at the same time..."

"Yeah, me too."

"Do you still want it?"

"Yeah, I think about it all the time but hunting is not something you can just quit."

"I know. Maybe in another life we will find each other again, have boring jobs and a family."

"How many?"

"A boy and a girl."

"I don't think I'd be good at being a girl dad."

"Oh you'd be perfect. A little bit overprotective but she'd have you wrapped around her finger."

"Like her mom."

"And our son would admire you and would think his dad is a badass."

"I like the sound of that."

"Like I said, maybe in another life..."

"Also great music taste would run in the family if you don't count Sam."

"That's for sure."

[myfandomrealitea]

hi! just asking your opinion on RPF, i’m very very new to the proship/fanfic community and really don’t know how to feel abt it. i haven’t heard anyone’s takes on it so far so i’d love to hear your thoughts!

RPF is just another form of fiction. Its no different to any kind of other fictional literature, fandom space, creative action, ect. The people are, essentially, just characters. You're using them to tell a story.

A lot of people's issue with RPF comes into play because of individuals who ignore the proper etiquette behind RPF and ruin it for everyone. The general concern is that unlike fictional characters, real people are capable of seeing what you create and getting upset, offended or angry over it.

This is where its important to remember the following rules regarding RPF:

Never send RPF to the people whom it concerns, people close to them or people in reasonable contact with them. Personally, even if an actor has said they don't mind RPF about themselves, I wouldn't push it on them. Accepting something's existence isn't always the same as wanting to be invested or involved in it.

Similar to above, make sure you're not tagging them or using searches the person is known to frequent. (E.g; if you're posting ship art, don't tag the people involved.)

Where possible, keep RPF to closed-off websites like AO3 and Tumblr where the people involved would actually have to go looking for it in order to be exposed to it. (Sites like X are next to impossible to actually curate and monitor and are awful for this kind of thing.)

Ensure you are properly tagging and marking your content so in the instance it can't fully be prevented from reaching the person/people, they are explicitly aware of what it is. (Another reason why sites like Tumblr and AO3 are simply the best option.)

Anyone who is famous will be aware that there are people who view them and use their image sexually. Every single famous person knows this. In industries like kpop, even, bromances are actively marketed because they know its lucrative and sought after.

Famous people are also more than aware of how to avoid content they don't want to see. They're aware of sites like AO3 and know once they go there its a lawless (albeit well tagged) wasteland of hardcore smut and the unimaginable. They know if they don't want to see certain things they simply have to stay away from certain platforms, tags, key words, ect.

Famous people aren't helpless little ducklings accidentally stumbling upon twisted non-con fanfic of them and their colleagues on an hourly basis like some people assume.

Although RPF is just another form of fiction is does require a bit more respect, conduct and consideration. That's all.

[samstree]

Ooh 17 for the sensory prompts please?

Thank you for the prompt! It's from the sensory prompt list. I really like these so I'm welcoming more! <3

17. Your bed after travelling

(Obikin, rated G, also posted on AO3)

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan calls out from their shared bed, too cozy to move. “Anakin, will you come to bed?”

The door to the living room is left open for the bright light to spill into the dark bedroom. Obi-Wan watches as Anakin continues to tinker with Artoo’s communication unit, his legs crossed on the floor and back leaned against the droid himself, who has powered down for the night.

Even droids know it’s time for some rest.

“In a bit,” Anakin answers absently, not lifting his eyes from the circuit board.

It’s way past midnight, and the temple has settled into a blissful quietness. Even the murmurs of Coruscant seem to have faded into the darkness. Finally, Obi-Wan gets to sleep in a familiar, soft bed after days of battle and traveling. The only problem—Anakin won’t sleep.

And he needs it. He was the one who piloted the ship back home when Obi-Wan fell asleep in the passenger seat, promising faintly that he’d take over later. When he opened his eyes next, they were already at the temple’s hangar bay and Anakin was waking him gently with a hand on his shoulder.

Obi-Wan stretches under the duvet, his hands touching the cool, soft sheets on the empty space next to him. He tries not to worry, but the dark circles under Anakin’s eyes make that mission impossible.

“Anakin?” he calls again, knowing he’s getting dangerously close to nagging, something that historically has never worked and will only result in a sulking Anakin. “You need to sleep.”

Smoke drifts from the soldering iron in Anakin’s mechanical hand when he pauses.

“No, I don’t. It’s fine.” He only meets Obi-Wan’s eyes for a moment, a tight smile at his lips, aiming at reassurance. It would work better if his eyes weren’t red-rimmed with exhaustion. “And I can go much longer without sleep. I’ve done it before.”

“That’s more the reason to not suffer again.” Obi-Wan sighs, knowing he’s properly nagging now. “Anakin…”

“And the nagging is unbecoming, Obi-Wan. You promised you’d stop.”

“I did not,” Obi-Wan insists. “I promised I’d try. When you don’t particularly need me to nag, but that is not the case at the moment.”

Anakin’s stubbornness always has a way of reflecting back at Obi-Wan, bringing out the same side of him. He lets out a long breath, tossing and turning for a moment under the cover. The bed is truly too empty without Anakin beside him. The worry will also keep him awake through the night, if this goes on for longer.

“Go to sleep. If you want to talk my ears off, it might as well be in your dream,” Anakin adds petulantly. “I said I’m fine.”

Sometimes, Obi-Wan wonders why he loves this impossible boy so much. So many of the grey hairs at his temple can trace back to either fighting with Anakin, or trying to take care of Anakin. Fighting to take care of him is another challenge that Obi-Wan has grown accustomed to since the beginning of the war. It scares him how little Anakin cares for his own wellbeing.

But Obi-Wan might still have a trick or two up his sleeve.

“What if I’m not?” he says, after a moment of plotting.

“Hmm?” Anakin blinks up at him, a frown slowly forming between his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Obi-Wan props himself up on the bed, touching his temple like he’s nursing a headache. “What if I don’t feel fine, Anakin? In fact, I believe I have been struggling to sleep.”

A pause, and those beautiful eyes widen with concern.

“Oh.” Something clatters to the ground, but Anakin doesn’t seem to care. He scrambles to put away the tools and the circuitry, and with a few long strides, he’s at Obi-Wan’s bedside. His voice is impossibly soft when he speaks next. “What’s wrong? You were already tired on our way back. Do you feel sick?”

Anakin is kneeling beside Obi-Wan, helping him to lie down on the pillow and pulling up the cover. He reaches out with his flesh hand to brush back the stray hair over Obi-Wan’s eyes to better observe him. There’s distress written all over on his face now.

Obi-Wan clears his throat, catching Anakin’s hand before his worried mind spirals out of control.

“I’m not sick, darling. I may just be overtired, and somehow that’s keeping me awake.” Obi-Wan keeps his voice small and sad, his chin tucked under the soft duvet. “Ridiculous notion, I know.”

Still looking skeptical, Anakin presses their foreheads together to check Obi-Wan’s temperature. He pulls away, looking slightly relieved.

“Not ridiculous,” Anakin says, shaking his head. “I know the feeling, when you’re so keyed up that your mind won’t quiet down. Gods, you must be exhausted. How can I help?”

A proud smile is forming at the corners of Obi-Wan’s lips, having landed Anakin exactly where he wants him. So he presses a small kiss in the palm around his cheek, hiding that smile. He still needs to keep the look on his face pitiful enough to incite sympathy.

Obi-Wan looks up from under his lashes with pleading eyes. “Will you come into bed? You know I sleep better when you’re holding me.”

“Of course,” Anakin says immediately, ready to climb into bed already.

“Wait.” Obi-Wan halts the motion, eyeing a fully dressed Anakin. “Could you also change into your pajamas? Having your obi and tabard in bed cannot be comfortable.” After a beat, he adds, “for me, that is.”

Anakin only nods with understanding before undressing and shedding all the outer layers of his robes on the floor. Obi-Wan would lecture him, except things have gone his way so quickly that he really should count his blessings for now. Anakin then finds an old sleeping shirt on the other side of the room and pulls it over his head. He also turns off the living room light and shuts the door.

The bedroom is only lit by a dim lamp, the warm light setting a cozy atmosphere.

Obi-Wan lifts the cover eagerly to let Anakin slip in. The bed sinks under the two of them and their bodies fit together perfectly. He hums with contentment to show appreciation for the solid weight next to him.

“Like this?” Anakin circles Obi-Wan’s waist with his arms, head burrowed into the crook of his neck.

“No, more like—” Obi-Wan lies back against the pillows, guiding Anakin to lay on his chest, supporting more of his weight. His hand ends up buried in the short curls at the nape of Anakin’s neck, so he plays with those curls, knowing repeated motions are a good way to make Anakin drowsy. “—like this. I prefer it when there is weight on me.”

“Yes, you’re an odd one.” Anakin huffs against Obi-Wan’s chest, and then he looks up. “I’m not too heavy?”

Obi-Wan would feel guilty about his manipulation while looking into those big, trusting eyes, if not for the fact that the body around him has already grown more relaxed since laying down.

“You’re perfect, dearest.” Their legs tangle together, Anakin’s feet cold against Obi-Wan’s shin. He tugs the duvet tighter around them to warm him up. “Perhaps just…”

“Yeah?”

Anakin still feels like a lingering sandstorm in the Force, just the slightest ripple of unrest.

Obi-Wan kisses the mess of dark curls, feeling cheeky. “Could you do the breathing exercise for me, the one that helps to calm the mind? I find myself too exhausted to concentrate.” He adds a yawn here, for good measure. “It’s easier when we do it together.”

“Of course,” says the man in Obi-Wan’s arms who famously detests all forms of meditation and breathing exercises. “Here, follow me—”

An inhale. One, two, three four.

“Good, dear heart.” Obi-Wan gives a gentle pat. “I feel much better.”

Pause. One, two, three. And then, an exhale.

“Don’t speak, master. Focus on me.”

And he is. The golden warmth that is Anakin ebbs and flows, before settling into a pool of serenity. All the ripples have smoothed out, all the waves trickling into a stream of calmness.

Obi-Wan counts the rhythmic rise and fall of Anakin’s chest, and feels the arms around him loosen, bit by bit. With a few more breaths, both of them are on the edge of sleep.

Anakin is trying to wake himself up to continue the breathing exercise, but all he manages is an incoherent noise.

“No, no. Sleep. It’s okay,” Obi-Wan whispers into Anakin’s curls, settling him with a hand on his back.

“Mm? Did you really…” Anakin slurs, the sleepiness getting the better of him. “Did you really need… me…”

“Hush, now. Just rest. For me.”

Obi-Wan waits for Anakin to completely drift off and begin snoring softly, the dead weight against his chest making him too prideful.

He wonders how many more times he can get away with it, how much he can push for while holding Anakin’s trust and love within the palm of his hand. He fears, at times, for Anakin’s tendency to serve and to protect, his too-trusting eyes and too-big heart.

For now, the night is quiet, and Anakin is dead to the world.

Obi-Wan leaves one last kiss on the messy curls of his love, and lets himself dream.

[nights-at-crystarium]

As a twitter/tumblr user since 2010-2011, I believe I have sufficient grounds to say that currently we as a community are living through the scariest, shittiest time yet. This post isn’t trying to fearmonger, no I’m not leaving tumblr until it literally keels over, but I suggest that we don’t put all our eggs in one basket.

If twitter/tumblr stay usable, great! In the worse scenario, you’d have kept posting on a new platform and stayed ahead of the curve.

This post shares my personal experience with three potential “new”* fandom places, and is aimed to help fellow content creators. I’m an artist fully depending on internet to survive, my reasoning may not apply to you if you’re a hobbyist. Do your own research, it’s always healthy. * Pillowfort and mastodon have been around for 5+ years, bluesky is ~2 years old.

Discovering new people to follow kinda sucks on all three platforms, twitter and tumblr are eons ahead, but, given the recent chaos and uncertainty, I’m willing to be patient, keep posting on those, and feel safer than I would’ve otherwise been. More baskets good, one basket bad.

All three have poor visual customization, don’t expect custom tumblr themes.

This list starts with the least popular, but most human and easy to join, and what I personally trust the most. All three allow nsfw if labeled properly.

✦ Pillowfort is a barebones tumblr. Intuitive, cozy, but currently very, very small. Be patient with its clunkiness or lack of some features, it’s made by an AO3-like team. I’d personally love if the fandom crowd managed to redirect its attention to it instead of the sus bluesky.

Joining: is free, invite-only, but the waitlist is nearly instant.

Lurk around on their official tumblr: @/pillowfort-social

✦ Mastodon, for me personally, is impossible to explain directly. I’ll use several comparisons.

- Discord but all servers can interact. You’re still on a server curated by some human(s) that might tell you what you can and can’t post, BUT, if you don’t like that server’s policy, you can move to a new one while keeping your followers. - Email, users A and B may be registered on different domains, still they can talk. It’s a weird comparison, but fediverse (please I’m not explaining THAT but it’s a good thing) in general looks like another email story: unlike big sites that come and go, it might stand the test of time. - Someone compared mastodon’s structure to xiv’s dc and servers, if you look at its domain names that way, it might be easier to understand.

Depending on user, mastodon may feel gatekeepy/snowflakey. I haven’t spent enough time on there to form a proper opinion yet, but a warning’s due.

An actually good and hopeful thing about mastodon AND tumblr: the two might start interacting in future. Ever lamented that your fav asian artists don’t use tumblr? If they use misskey, or any other place on the fediverse, it might be possible to follow them directly from tumblr in future, and vice versa.

Joining: is free, however some servers close for new members sometimes, and have human moderators reviewing your request.

✦ Bluesky is a twitter without Musk: today’s average internet user reads this, drops everything and already looks to register there. It’s still sus, but people flock to it like crazy. Most likely to become the next big fandom place in my eyes, even if I’m not happy about that.

I personally have no good feelings about bluesky. Same as twitter, which I hated even before the 2018 tumblr exodus, yet the crowd decided to make it The New Fandom Place, and, grudgingly, I had to give up and also join them in 2022. During the year I haven’t stopped despising twitter, yet, I can’t deny that it helped me survive. I estimate half of my patrons, and, hell, even tumblr audience, comes from twitter. So, if bluesky ends up being the next hot shit, I’ll have to keep up because internet pays for my living.

Joining: is free but hell, invite-only, the waitlist is a lie, your best chance to join is a direct invite.

This’s all I’ve got to say for now. If you have a correction or an addition, replies/reblogs are welcome!

Screenshots of the current interfaces under the cut, you may spy on my profiles o/

Pillowfort

Mastodon.art

Bluesky

[eepywriters]

I LOVED YOUR MESSAGES WITH QUACKITY ❤️❤️❤️

please do getting into an agrument with quackity headcanons please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻😙😙🫣‼️💕💕🩷🩷

.✦°. • getting into an argument hcs (*´Д｀*)

warnings: a bit of angst and maybe a bit ooc? I tried 😞🤚🏻

a/n: HIII!! THANK U SO MUCH! It means a lot :D and sorry if it took so long ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ finals kicked my ass so I couldn’t write for a while BUT IM HERE SO LET’S GET INTO IT

EARLY INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

(thinking of a young, little experienced Alex)

Oh it’s jover

This could actually be something that could cause a breakup cuz let me tell you THIS MAN just can’t stand confrontation

If it’s something that bugged you, he’d probably understand your point of view but would also be very overwhelmed at the thought of losing you cause he hasn’t been good enough for you, resulting in him hyper focusing on his spiraling thoughts rather than listening to what you are saying

I feel like he’d also be the type to act like nothing happened right after an argument; he’d ignore the tense situation and make jokes to light up the mood and forget about it. He’s not dense, he knows it hurts you to see him seemingly ignore your feelings like that, but he’s not used to being listened so he ends up making his partner go trough his predicament as well

BUT it’s even worse if it’s something that bugged HIM; he probably wouldn’t tell you about it, much preferring to suck it up and don’t cause problems, even though he IS creating more problems

the underlying tension caused by his silence would bring the relationship to a breaking point:

1 you break up and the regret eats him up (probably also wouldn’t reach out again because of shame and a tiny bit of ego)

2 you talk about it cause it can’t go on like this

When I talk about bugging tho, I’m thinking about things that don’t surge an immediate reaction from him, because if he’s mad, he’s mad.

He’s the venomous type, forget his silence and self pity, he’ll probably laugh in your face in irritation and say whatever the fuck he thinks

He’ll retreat to his office as soon as he sees the hurt in your face, understanding he went to far and going back to he’s usual silence, ending up giving you the silence treatment. (he also feels incredibly ashamed) (he’ll just stay in his office all day, editing mindlessly since his mind is anywhere but in the work he’s doing)

He’ll either leave you alone in bed that day, making you sulk and feel as lonely as ever, or will sleep with you but it’ll be the coldest shit ever (like the typical movie scene where two people sleep super afar from each other)

Don’t misunderstand tho, he does feel guilty, he just struggles with communicating his feelings properly (*´ー｀*)

“(Name) I’m not a child, stop acting like you are my fucking mom” he spat, a look of indignation spreading on his features, shaping his otherwise gentle appearance into a strong, furious one.

“Cant you understand that I’m worried about you?” you strike back, jaw impossibly tightened “I understand that you’re very dedicated to your job, but you can’t get yourself to this state.” You sigh, not able to keep up the mad act: “You look very tired Alex”.

You take a tentative step towards him, determined to show him you weren’t scolding him, nor were you mad at him. You were trying to establish contact with him, not start a fight, after all your irritation came from worry, not anger. But he didn’t receive that well. His brows scrunching even further while his mouth twitches downwards.

“Stop acting like I’m some fucking rabid animal. I can take care of myself just fine, I don’t need a fucking babysitter”.

Seems that wasn’t the right move.

The way he was saying your name was probably what hurt the most. You find yourself missing the gentle tone he usually reserved to it when spoken.

“What are you even saying?” you breathe out, your voice being so fragile you almost don’t recognize it as your own. “Do you hear what you are saying? You are being impossible Alex”.

At this point his foot is stomping nervously on the floor. He’s getting annoyed by the minute and he can’t wait to forget about this tense situation. Arguments always put him on edge, but instead of working on the root cause of his discomfort, he always had preferred to just get himself out of the mess as soon as possible. (He hadn’t yet grasped how much that could hurt others). And that’s why, out of everything he could’ve gone, he replied with the one of the most uncalled for things he could ever come up with.

“Maybe instead of worrying about me, you should take a good look at yourself first”.

And you know what he was trying to entail.

You were never insecure of your dark circles, or at least, it wasn’t something that bugged you on the daily ever since you had found a common ground with Alex, knowing he struggled with very prominent circles cause of his lack of sleep. But for someone like him, who always had a hard time with his appearance, to clap back at you by going for your looks? Foul. Unexpected. Not like him at all.

You were sure he could tell from the look of disbelief on your face that he had fucked up.

Alex’s breathing keeps up, his chest constricts, and the anger and the pride that he has wearing like a tailored suit are stripped out of him at the sight of your frown. His mind goes haywire trying to come up with any response.

Maybe if you would’ve known him better by then, you would’ve known how terrified he was of your judgment. Even though his fame often had him deal with horrible comments filled with free hate, if judgement came from you, it scarred 100 times more than anything could ever do.

“Just leave it be, I’m fine” it’s all he mutters before booking it and hiding himself in his office, leaving you to stand there, in the middle of your living room.

Tears prickle your eyes, threatening to fall at any moment and your lip begs you for mercy as you bite into it.

God, why was communicating so difficult in this house?

LONG INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

It took time, it took healing, it took sitting down and TALKING to finally find your balance

He’s still pretty much venomous when it comes to immediate triggers, but after you are both done fighting and cursing each other out, you talk about it and come out of it somewhat unscathed

Anger isn’t easy to control or refrain after all, but you both try your best, and you are able to make up most of the times without falling into old dynamics of silent treatment or isolation

If something bugs him, he most likely will tell you; he is hesitant about it, but after many nights spent in your arms, he starts to let go on some of his biggest worries (anxiety still gnaws at his core every time he opens his mouth though, that doesn’t get old at all)

If something bugs you, he doesn’t shy away from confrontation anymore; he’s not perfect at it either, he still feels the urge to run away and laugh about it all, but he’s gotten way better at it

He’s still very scared of you having a negative opinion about him, but now you know him well enough to spend some extra time to reassure him that you won’t stop loving him for a petty fight, and that arguments in relationship are important to grow not only as a couple, but as people too

“(Name)” he calls out, and you instantly recognize the hint of anxiety that he’s trying to hide from you.

“Yes honey?” you reply, taking your eyes off your phone to stare into his pretty, brown ones. They screamed stress, fear, yet also determination. He did so much progress compared to the beginnings of your relationship. You were proud of him.

Alex took a deep breath before saying: “Uhm, It’s about the photo of us you posted earlier”. You could practically smell the tension in the air. His body is stiff, his chest is heaving, but your gaze is captured by his fingers and by how his nails are digging into them continuously, tearing his already red skin.

You take his hands in yours, preventing him from doing further damage to his poor, abused fingers. You knew he does it as a way to ground himself, but he really needed to find a new coping method - one that didn’t feature him torturing his body if possible.

He stares at his hands in yours for a while. You don’t say anything, allowing him to take his time.

“Okay fuck it” Alex whispers under his breath, so quietly you almost miss it.

“It makes me feel insecure, I don’t like it” he admits, keeping his focus on your hands as he munches his bottom lip nervously. You, in response, draw slow circles on his hands, offering him a gentle smile.

“Can you delete it..?” he sounds unsure, like he’s testing the waters instead of actually making a request. Either way you welcome it.

You put one of your fingers under his chin, gently applying pressure for him to lift his head, just enough to look at you. “Of course I can. Thank you for telling me Alex, I know it’s hard”. His once tense body relaxes.

He avoids your tender gaze, seemingly preferring to stare at the floor, yet you see the soft blush that was quickly taking over his cheeks. You also can’t help but notice that he already had found his charming smile back.

“Stop looking at me like that” he mumbles as his smile spreads. Uh oh, that can only mean trouble.

“Like what” your eyes narrow, not trusting his new found confidence.

“Like this��.

His imitation is pitiful: furrowed eyebrows, small frown and large puppy dog eyes. The more you look at him, the more he reminds you of that one emo guy that kind of looks like him (he definitely does). He looks ridiculous. How did you even fall in love with this dude?

You slap his arm, scoffing out a laugh as you look at him incredulous: “I don’t look like that!”.

“I think you do” he says with a smug tone, one that makes you want to hit him with a pillow till he goes back to sleep. And maybe you just will.

“Oh it’s on you motherf-“

The room was filled with laughter instead of unconfortable, loud silence.

(first post of 2024 yippiee)

[cherry-pop-elf]

George Weasley Sexcanons

Because im extremely sick, so im bored

Warnings? Sex sex sex and more sex. Along with some submissive Georgie baby~

What gets his engine going

He’s more of the submissive type. Your definition of a service top. He loves to make sure his partner is feeling so good. Their comfort comes, heh, first before anything else. Mans has 100% just gotten off from eating out/rimming/sucking off

He’s….Hes got mommy issues. As much as we love Molly, you can not deny she was rather verbally abusive. Not to mention having seven kids means you’ll Never have one on one properly. I won’t rant, but mans got a serious mommy kink. Doesn’t matter if you are a man, he’s calling you mommy!

Is a sucker for risk taking. He’s gonna try and eat you out at a quidditch game, jerk you off at the leaky cauldron, he’s gonna rail you in an alley way. He’s an adrenaline junkie, and probably wouldn’t be to shy at the idea of actually doing it infront of people. He likes the rush of it all

If you get a tattoo with his name, or some kind of indication you are his? Oh that’s going to make him feral. He doesn’t actually believe in owning and such, but there is something so enjoyable about it in fantasy. Kink doesn’t equal reality! ((And obviously I don’t need to clarify what is off the table))

Let me say this once, mans has a MAJOR Breeding Kink. Doesn’t matter if you can get pregnant. He’s going to find a way to fuck a baby into you. He’s a Weasley. They love to prove the impossible

Like I said about mommy kink, he is so gonna be a brat. It’s not a number one go to, that’s Fred, but he loves being a menace to society. If he’s not being a brat, you calling him a bad boy might make him cry. That’s why it’s healthy to communicate in the bed room!

Spank him. Spank him nice and good.

Lingerie lingerie lingerie

He might be a size queen, but you didn’t hear it from me 🤭

Oh he just loves doing it in his office. There is something so hot about it. To have you sit in his office, as he eats you out. How you would pin him on the desk, and pound him so hard it starts to rattle. To have you casually come in, wearing nothing at all, and crawling over all the paper work to get to him. If he’s having a bad day, sneak into his office and remind him he’s the boss

Don’t think you won’t be shared with Fred. They are magical twins. They share everything together.

Don’t be shy of your body hair. He likes his bitches natural. There’s also something so romantic to him about it. That you can just be your truest self around him, and not need to panic about your looks. Just your true self, and such

Speaking of natural self, he likes his bitches a little thicc. Blame his dad for liking em big. Nothing like some love handles to grab onto, or some ear warmers to keep him trapped in place. But most importantly? The cuddles

Expect to be of ‘use’ during busy hours at work. Like sucking him off while he does paper work, or being stress relief after a Karen comes into town

Boobs? Butt? Mans a thigh guy. He loves himself a partner with thick thighs, long legs, and some well pedicured feet. Yes. He’s a feet guy. Thigh highs in orange will make him cream alright

Expect to be his partner in trying new sex shop items

Speaking of that, don’t be scared to try new things with him. You never know. Maybe your weird kink could be the next hottest item the shop!

AFAB Partner Shenanigans

His favorite position with you would be the mating press. He just loves having your legs over his shoulders, and getting a front row seat at your begging face

He is going to be that type to fill you full of cum, and make you walk around with it

Sundresses baby

Peg him silly boo boo. He will ride that strap on until sunrise don’t even question it

Expect lots of cock warming. Especially when busy at work

Your tits are his now. His favorite thing to play with, when it isn’t your pussy. Even not in a sexual sense. You’ll just wake up with a hand on the tibbie

AMAB Partner Shenanigans

His favorite position is cowgirl. To have his hands on your chest, as he pants. Whimpering and moaning, as you move in and out of him. To have you spank him to move faster. Gets him all kinds of work up

He’s gonna be a shit head and sneak under tables a lot and have his fun with you

You will wake up to him dealing with your morning wood

He is going to sit on your cock when he is doing work. He will be a bastard and spin his hips

[rjalker]

Dear teenagers on tumblr, and a whole bunch of adults, too:

You can be any identity under the sun, and that does not stop you from being bigoted or hateful towards other people of that identity or any other.

Being gay doesn't magically mean you can't be homomisic or anything else.

Being aspec does not mean you can't be amisic or anything else.

Being trans doesn't mean you can't be transmisic or anything else.

Your identity does not determine how harmful or hateful your actions and words are. There is no identity in the world that gives you a free pass from biotry and cancels out all the harm you do.

"But I can't be an exclusionist, I'm literally aspec!" is a completely meaningless statement. I know not everyone remembers, or was even online during the aspec harassment campaign, but a ton of alloaces and alloaros were onboard with the whole thing and throwing the "non-Queer aces and aros who make us look bad" under the bus.

Their asexuality or aromanticism did not magically make their actions not violently and horrifically amisic.

Being part of an oppressed minority does not make all of your actions harmless and innocent, and it does not mean that anyone who criticizes you for bigotry against other people from that minority group is just "stupid" and needs to "touch grass".

You being [insert identity] does not mean that it's impossible for you to hurt, or be hateful towards other people of that identity.

If someone tells you that something you are saying is harmful and bigoted, and that there are better ways to phrase what you're actually trying to say, you cannot respond with "I'm literally X identity you stupid idiot, do you think I hate myself??" or pretend that the people telling you it's harmful are just "making up problems to get mad about" and "need to touch grass" and "looking for things to be offended by"

You cannot repeat the exact same words any random conservative would be saying and call yourself progressive and say you're acting in good faith and have good intentions.

If you actually want you make yourself and your blog a supportive place for your community, then you need to learn that it is not okay to respond to people telling you something is hurtful by just repeatedly insulting them and saying they're just looking for problems to cause and you've done nothing wrong because "I'm literally X identity I can't spread hate about my own identity".

Because yes you can. And you are.

If multiple people are telling you you're acting like an exclusionist, that is your cue to stop, take time to calm down your immediate negative reaction, and listen properly.

Do not just immediately leap to repeating exact conservative talking points by accusing people of "looking for things to get offended by".

Do not immediately leap to insulting people's intelligence and other ableist things.

If you are actually acting in good faith, and you are actually trying to be a supportive member of your community, then you have a personal responsability to listen to other people in your community when you are told that something you've done or said is hurtful and is perpetuating harmful, exclusionary beliefs.

You are not immune to being a bigot just because you're also a minority.

You have a personal responsibility to listen to people when they tell you you are doing something harmful.

You have a personal responsibility to unlearn bigoted thought patterns and behaviors like immediately dismissing any criticism as "special snowflakes getting offended by everything".

You have a personal responsibility not to harm your own community.

Everyone needs to learn this lesson at some point. You will either learn it now, when you're young, or you'll learn it when you're older and you've already driven people away from you.

Either way, you gotta learn it.

You cannot repeat conservative bigoted talking points and keep insisting your intentions are good.

If you actually want to be a good person who supports other minorities, you have to learn to act like it. You have to learn to listen when people tell you you've done something harmful. You have to learn to listen when it is explained that you are repeating exclusionary talking points that harm the community.

[ID: A screenshot of a post by dulce de calabaza / zapatistarising, that reads, "There's actually no political label or identity that absolves you of doing harm". End ID.]

I suggest you try learning it now while you're still young, before you've driven your community away from you with your hateful behavior. No one likes a bigot.

And no one wants to hang out with someone who immediately starts insulting people and all but calling them special snowflakes when they're told they've said something bigoted.

[kolyubov]

Ok I need you to hear me out! What about dazai, Fyodor and or Nikolai with a s/o that is the psychologist/therapist for their respective organisation! Is reader aware that they are way beyond redemption? Yes, does reader know that they can't fix them? Also yes, but as their s/o they try their best to save the little sanity they have left by reminding them to take their pills/vitamins, having casual therapy sessions with them and comforting them after (btw I don't think any of them would go to therapy on their own so reader being the therapist of the organisation they are in would make more sense for them to communicate and eventually form a relationship, plus I think a emotionally intelligent reader would really balance them out)

Have a wonderful day or night and don't forget to hydrate!!!!

omg nonnie, this is very interesting! I tried my best to imagine these three going to therapy… sort of.

please remember to hydrate yourself too<33

Therapist s/o!

✧ contents. sfw!!

I'm kind of sure that a psychologist (and I think a therapist too) is not allowed to have a personal relationship with their patient, so I'd like to think that their relationship with their s/o is a secret, at least inside the organization.

Dazai will come to visit you every day even if it's not necessarily for a therapy session.

He only goes to the Agency to see you— I imagine you have a small office inside the building of the Agency, so whenever Dazai is bored, he leaves the Agency's office and goes downstairs to visit you!

For him, it's a good thing that his s/o is also his therapist because he won't open up with anyone else but you. He would ask for you to run your fingers through his fluffy hair as he tells you how his past memories are still tormenting him sometimes.

Since you're a professional and know so much about people's minds, your conversations are always very deep which he's thankful for; knowing that someone understands him and gives him the comfort that he needs badly.

Dazai doesn't need any type of medication I think. Maybe he'll need to sleep better and eat properly but as long as you sleep with him and remind him to take his meals, he'll do as you said<3

-

I believe Fyodor doesn't want therapy, or pills, even if he needs them.

You know his physical and mental health are not the best, and he knows it too, but he doesn't care about it that much.

Maybe the roles would turn upside down? He would ask why you have such opinions and would discuss a lot of philosophical stuff about human beings and their lives and the way they socialize with other humans.

Fyodor would be the stubborn type; like, you would tell him to go out for a walk and get some fresh air because he's lacking vitamin D but he only chuckles and says that he doesn't need to, that he's perfectly fine.

A few hours later he would go out for a walk as you said and left a small bouquet of flowers he collected himself on your desk.

Also, he comes to ask for your opinion on important things before doing them!

-

Nikolai wouldn't take things seriously most of the time. He needs to make silly jokes and tease you as you try to advise him for his own good.

He would gladly take any pills you give him but you need to sit on his lap and give him the pill yourself, then kiss his forehead and call him a good boy. If not, he would refuse the medication.

Sometimes he feels very very down, like; he enters your office with a somber expression and needs to be cuddled as you try to help him solve his problem.

You make him feel happy even if it's just with a kiss on the cheek or words of affirmation<3

Definitely surprises you and teleports behind you as you're doing paperwork.

About his “freedom” thing… As much as you'd like to tell him that it's (almost) impossible, he won't stop trying to reach his goal and will keep on telling you with a big smile how he plans to achieve it. Well… At least he's still your Nikolai for now.

2024 © pinklacydovey

[idyllic-affections]

what if kaveh adopted a child? (pt. ii)

summary. kaveh isn't exactly the best single dad out there, but he's doing his best.

trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, slight angst. adoptive dad!kaveh & reader. alhaitham & reader. tighnari & reader. collei & reader. 1.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader. this post is an expansion of what if kaveh adopted a child?

author's thoughts. do you guys remember when i said i wouldnt expand upon this brainrot? i lied. it was pretty well recieved and got some nice interaction so i hope to replicate that effect with this one!! heres some more adoptive dad!kaveh 💖 this will not make sense if you havent read the aforementioned brainrot, so please do that before reading this one! also do be aware that this has hints of kaveh's backstory in it, so if you don't want to see implied spoilers, don't read this!!

kaveh is a disaster single dad, but he's doing his best.

kaveh did inevitably take alhaitham's unsolicited advice and took them to gandharva ville. as much as he may hate to outwardly admit it... he knows he's not in a place to take care of a child alone, and he can't force alhaitham to help. that is simply not his roommate's responsibility. kaveh respects that; taking care of a child is a serious committment. it is not something that can be treated lightly, and it is certainly not something to force upon an unwilling caretaker. thankfully, the people at gandharva ville have no issue taking them in until kaveh is able to care for them properly.

tighnari and collei take really good care of them—especially collei. she adores them.

collei was very awkward with them at first, but she warmed up to them pretty quickly. something about having the opportunity to help a young child recover from trauma and learn to be stronger and smarter, having the opportunity to be like a big sister... it's very healing for her. she is being the person she herself would have needed all those years ago.

tighnari was also somewhat hesitant at first. children have a tendency to be bratty and loud, and he... does not have that kind of patience, but he was quick to get over any prior doubts after meeting them for the first time. they were very quiet. it was kind of worrying at first, but tighnari quickly realized that they just prefer communicating nonverbally.

the way they write is beautifully advanced and elegant, but it seems that their mouth finds it hard to keep up with their brain. that's all.

tighnari tutors them alongside collei. they're very advanced in language for their young age, and collei is a bit behind, so the two are roughly at the same level. he's also teaching both of them some of sumeru's many languages.

unlike collei, however, they are not from sumeru. they're from fontaine. as such, they have a lot of trouble producing some sounds that native speakers would have no trouble with.

(it's a source of very much frustration for them. collei is always there to console them when they get especially frustrated with themselves, wiping their tears away with gentle yet calloused hands and reassuring them that absolutely no-one expects them to be able to pronounce every word perfectly. even she messes up sometimes! she was away from sumeru for so long, after all. some sounds are difficult for her too.)

whenever kaveh visits them, they absolutely shine with excitement, as if he hasn't come to see them in ages. however... he's usually there multiple times a week (unless he's away for a project, and if he is, he always tells them before he leaves). they're simply always happy to see him.

it's really very cute, the way they gasp delightedly and run up to hug his legs since they're too short to reach any higher. it's impossibly endearing.

one time in particular stood out.

"Baba!"

Utter shock.

The silence that spread through Gandharva Ville was incredibly overpowering, but that didn't seem to deter them from running up to poor Kaveh—who had yet to completely process what they had said, how they had addressed him—and squeezing their little arms around his leg. The silence was quick to dissipate into fond murmurs and giggles as the Forest Rangers resumed their individual duties.

...

The blonde had no intention of replacing their parents; he'd feel awful if one or both of them turned up at some point, only for their child to have bonded with a different caretaker, but...

He also didn't have the heart to chide them. Who would? The way they gazed up at him with a smile that outshined the blazing sun itself was too sweet, too innocent. Kaveh couldn't possibly imagine why anyone would want to crush their soul like that.

He couldn't deny the warmth spreading in his chest, either.

With a smile, he raised his child into his arms, laying his forehead against their's. His gaze was gentle, affectionate, as he observed their expression. 'Enamored' didn't even begin to describe Kaveh's affection for them.

"Hello, little one. Baba's back."

from then on, kaveh absolutely addresses them as his kid. he just accepts that his role in their life is that of a father. family is not defined by blood, and archons know they need a parental figure that they can trust and rely on after what they went through in fontaine.

he never really saw himself being a father, at least not for a good while, but he adores them sm <3

alhaitham definitely warms up to them (eventually)!

he teaches them a few things here and there. most of the things he teaches them are language-related, but he'll sometimes present them with math problems. he'll even review some of their work for them if they ask, especially if it's something like an essay.

kaveh would absolutely pay special attention to his child's hair. if he doesn't already know how to care for their specific hair type, he would do everything in his power to learn how to.

kaveh spoils them whenever he can afford to. he oftentimes can't afford to do such things, which stings like a fresh wound would, but he knows they're happy even without being spoiled. he tries his best!

the architect wants to preserve their native culture, but they seem averse to the idea of returning to fontaine, and forcing them would do no good.

for now, the best he can do is obtain fontainian literature through foreign sources and ensure that their own language isn't erased by the sumeran languages they're learning.

his mother does live there. he could always ask her for a few favors when needed.

when the political climate cools down a little, he plans on taking them to fontaine, just not the capital city. anywhere outside of the nation's capital would do. ideally, he'd keep them as far away from the hydro archon as possible.

kaveh would never push his child to enroll in the akademiya, no matter how brilliant they are. unless they voluntarily want to go...

he will not do something that cruel to them. he wouldn't dream of it. honestly, even if they wanted to go, he would be a little hesitant.

(this view would change drastically after the sages are removed from office, however; once they're gone and the akademiya becomes less suffocating, he'd totally encourage them to go.)

if they did decide they wanted to go, however, he'd absolutely try to get them to enroll in kshahrewar.

like father like child!! they've been with the forest rangers for a while, so surely they'd be good with their hands by then.

alhaitham would try to get them into haravatat just to spite kaveh (those two are married, trust me!). his reasoning? they're far ahead of their peers in language. they'd thrive in an environment such as the one his darshan creates.

if they decide not to go? that's alright, too.

kaveh wants his child to thrive in an environment where they can safely and happily pursue whatever catches their interest, even if that means they regularly hop between subjects and ideas on a whim. inspiration is a skittish beast that would surely slip through their fingers if they aren't quick enough to pursue it; he understands this idea very well. it really isn't the end of the world if they don't want to go to the akademiya. they have plenty of scholars willing to teach them without all the academic stress attached—kaveh himself, alhaitham, tighnari, cyno...

(they're like a platonic co-parenting friend group LMAO they're raising [name] and collei together! they all help each other out!!)

kaveh is also very intent on teaching them to care for themselves before they try to care for anyone else.

he lives weighed down by guilt for things that weren't even his fault. he knows he's trapped by his own ideals; he'd be damned if he were to teach his child to be same way.

"do as i say, not as i do" kind of vibe. also definitely teaches his kid to "do no harm but take no shit"

(though, let's be honest: children learn through mirroring. if kaveh is not careful, his child will subconsciously adopt his self-destructive behaviors. thankfully, they do have other people to set them straight if they begin exhibiting such behaviors, namely alhaitham and cyno, who also do the majority of teaching them to "take no shit".)

ultimately, kaveh just wants his child to be happy, even if something were to happen to him. he doesn't want them to feel the way he does every moment of his life.

It wasn't often that Kaveh simply got to sit in calm silence with his child.

More often than not, they spent their time in Gandharva Ville with the forest rangers. However, every other weekend, Kaveh would take them back to Sumeru City with him; Alhaitham seemed to have no qualms with keeping them around after realizing the kind of child they turned out to be.

It was during the weekends the architect had them that he sought to spend as much time as possible with them.

Sometimes, that meant sitting peacefully in the silence together.

"...Little one," Kaveh called softly, hand stroking lovingly over their hair. They tilted their head back to meet his gaze, a small, inquisitive sound leaving their lips.

"Hm?"

"If something ever happens to me, I want you to know that you had nothing to do with it in any way, matter the circumstance. If something ever happens to me... it would not be your fault, okay? Do you understand?"

A heavy silence extended for a moment, and Kaveh could only watch as a variety of emotions crossed their face at once.

It unsettled him that they seemed to fight with themselves about how to respond, as if they couldn't agree with that.

Then again...

It wouldn't surprise him if they blamed themselves for the loss of their biological parents. Only time would tell if that pain would manifest into something worse as they got older.

"...Okay, baba. I understand."

He smiled, leaning down to kiss their forehead.

"Good."

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