#but have i heard anyone literally One person go into depth about it?

[butchlifeguard]

anyway the reason eye am not talking about aoi asahina literally 24/7 is that both the games themselves and the fans ignore all the potential of a world famous student athlete in a series that has such deeply engrained themes of how harmful the high expectations for students can be. its just sooo much easier and more compelling to reduce her to silly donut girl :)

[astro-enthusiast]

Astro Observations 2.0

Thank you all for 222 followers! <3

Take these observations for what they are: personal observations.

Super duper long because I love you all. :)

Aries moons tend to always be on the move. Often times, these natives have something energetically "off" at home which results in them not even wanting to be there. They're the type to always be at work or at their friend's place. May have parents they want to get away from. At least one of their parents leans toward a more masculine energy.

You cannot be in your feelings when you talk to a Virgo moon. Their love language is literally telling you all the ways you can improve yourself. It's not necessarily that they're trying to make you feel some type of way, they genuinely don't think there's anything offensive about it. They're naturally attracted to "fixer-uppers" and they love a good project. Only problem is, people are not your projects and your loved ones are allowed to be flawed.

On the note of Virgo moons, they also have a tendency to be permanently unimpressed. My mom has this placement and my sister and I always wanted grand reactions to the stuff we did as kids, but we never got them. Even to this day, my mom is the queen of giving absolutely nothing extra energetically lol. They literally look like this emoji --->😐. Unless they have fire placements, they tend to be the definition of stoicism.

I've been studying the relationship between Scorpio moons and their mothers for a while now because it is such an interesting dynamic. I noticed in the past, that Scorpio moon natives may experience a rather controlling mother figure, but I've recently noticed that this controlling nature goes both ways. Yes, their mother has control over them and their actions, but they have just as much control over her too. They're almost like puppets to each other. It's an incredibly intriguing dynamic that honestly leaves me speechless. Makes you wonder, in these specific situations, "Is anyone here truly the victim?"

We've talked about how moon signs can manifest and what your mother may have taught you, but what I have yet to touch on is how your moon sign reflects your mother's pregnancy experience. I've studied this a bit and I think my mom is the perfect example! My sister and I have opposing moon signs: Cancer and Capricorn. I've spoken to my mom in-depth about both her pregnancies and here is how she describes them:

-Pregnancy with Cancer moon: she was overweight, gained 50+ lbs during her pregnancy, used food to cope with her abusive relationship, was on bedrest, too depressed to do or go anywhere, spent most of her days in the house crying.

-Pregnancy with Capricorn moon: she was in amazing physical condition, gained less than 20 lbs during pregnancy (10 lbs of that was baby), had endless energy, worked out every day, worked overtime at her job, was broken up from my dad, lived alone, was in her bag.

Opposite moon signs and two completely different pregnancies!! Crazy, right?!

I've heard the theory that Capricorn moons are the eldest child, which is true in many cases. However, in my experience as a Capricorn moon, I'm the youngest and my eldest sister is a Cancer moon. But that doesn't debunk my "big sister" energy lol. My sister has always referred to me as her "big little sister" and when we were younger and my mom left us home alone, she always left me in charge. My Cancer moon sister was known for her big emotions and ability to quickly lose control. This dynamic has always been funny to me. Ex. We had a tornado watch (super rare where I live) and my sister was running around the house screaming and crying. While I was calmly in my bedroom playing dolls keeping it kosher. 🤣

God really did give his toughest battles to Virgo, Scorpio and Capricorn moons. No one else is doing it like us! We came equipped with everything we needed to handle ALL the bs in our families.

Don't scorch me fire moons, but where is the personal accountability? I've seen water signs talk their way out of some situations, but the way a fire moon will dance around the truth really needs to be studied. I made this observation before and a Sag moon came for me which is how you know it's true. 😭

Moon sign compatibility is so real y'all. As an earth moon, I mainly form deep connections and bonds with other earth moons and *some* water moons. The other elements just don't do it for me. Even with my fire placements & degrees, I still struggle to understand fire moons.

I've read before that Leo moons have a tendency to be selfish, which I concur depending on the situation. But I think the reason why some of them act like this is because often times, they are either the only child or the favorite child. So they literally don't know what it means to compromise or not get their way. I've only met 2 Leo moons (that I know of) years apart and they both had the same tendencies and personality. Let me know if you've had a more positive experience with this moon sign!

Fixed moons may have mothers who are very controlling over their lives. Their mothers have a “fixed” idea of what their child’s life should look like. They have a tendency to have a puppet & puppeteer relationship. I’ve noticed that because of this, these natives tend to have one area of their lives that their mother can’t control and they spiral out of control in that area. Kinda like a “look mom, you can’t control me in EVERY way” type thing. The most common areas I’ve noticed this in is their sex lives and drugs/alcohol use.

Of course the above note is based on personal experience. I’ve heard quite a few mothers of fixed moons say to other people: “I made them do this” “there was no way I was gonna let them not do this…” like the kid has no choice in the matter.

Okay, enough about moon signs. For now...

This may not be too popular with the astro girlies buttt I believe we have a tendency to attract the versions of signs we speak into existence. For example, when I first started studying astrology, I was sick to my stomach to see that I was a Sagittarius rising because I had back-to-back experiences with Sagittarius suns stabbing me in the back, so I told myself they were the worst. In time, I wanted to accept all of my chart which included my own Sag placements. I had to heal my understanding and perception of them to see them differently. Now, I attract the funniest and kindest Sag suns! It all started with me. This is your sign to heal your trauma with that placement. 🤍 (yes, this is also a message to myself). What you see won't change until you change what you see!

If there's anything a mutable rising is gonna do it's change their physical appearance.

Earth risings, rising at earth degree, or chart ruler in earth house: these people are less likely to take bold chances and risks with their appearances. Not really the type to dye their hair crazy colors, although they are quick to get visible tattoos.

Virgo in big 6 appears naturally put together. They don't really have to get ready because they stay ready. And they expect the same from you, especially if you're their romantic partner. This is amplified if they have Libra or Leo placements.

I’ve noticed Virgo suns and risings are much less likely to wear makeup. I see them with it maybe once a year and even then it’s like one coat of mascara and some highlighter. One thing I have heard a lot of Virgo women say is that they literally don’t know how to do their makeup which may factor into why they don’t wear it. Virgo moons however do tend to wear makeup.

Aries and Scorpio placements are very protective of their loved ones. One wrong look in their direction and they're ready to pounce.

Gemini-Sagittarius axis: if there's one thing these placements are gonna do it's laugh at absolutely nothing for an extended period of time.

Taurus and Libra placements, do you really need that new blouse? Or that new stationary knowing dang well you have more than enough? No, put it back. Aht! PUT IT BACK. And keep your receipts, so when you get home from that impulsive purchase, you can bring it right back where you got it from.

Something about Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn placements in dark academia that really does something to me chile...dark academia was made for us!

Saturn rules teeth. Saturn placements and aspects can describe your teeth’s appearance and health. Saturn aspecting Jupiter may have larger teeth. Aspecting Mercury may result in the native having smaller teeth or possibly getting veneers. Saturn aspecting Venus can manifest as the native receiving many compliments on their teeth/smiles. In the case of harsher aspects, the native can feel their teeth directly hinder their perceived beauty.

I’ve noticed people with prominent Gemini/Virgo/Mercury placements are much more likely to have gaps in between their front teeth. Often times, this is a result of their teeth being on the smaller side.

Virgo placements (esp. moons) can have naturally “perfect” teeth that don’t require braces. But upon closer inspection, you can see their teeth are not perfect, but rather, the imperfections are so minuscule you have to truly look to find them.

Libra Suns typically go for either the relaxed look (very natural appearance, not much makeup) or all the frills (makeup, couture, luxury). I have yet to see an in between. Libras with Scorpio/8th house influence enjoy darker colors and go for a much more relaxed look. More likely to portray a dark feminine embodiment of Venus or a more natural feminine. Especially if they have Virgo placements.

Aries suns (males and females) are the BIGGEST sweethearts and I don’t see enough people praise them for their pure hearts. 🥹

DO NOT under any circumstances copy, paste, reword, rewrite, translate, or repost my work.

All Rights Reserved to astro-enthusiast.

[g1rld1ary]

overheard that she was nineteen - james potter x reader

wc: 1058

cw: nothing, one swear, reader is sad on their birthday, implied fem!reader but i don't think any pronouns

chat how many aura points do i lose for crying in the literal first 20 minutes of my nineteenth birthday :/ don't think about this fic too hard or you'll see it's more of a diary entry than work of fiction oopsie :')

You weren't feeling very special. To be quite honest, your day had been totally shit. It was your birthday, your nineteenth birthday and everyone had forgotten. Well, that wasn't true exactly, but nobody cared. Your parents had barely said 'happy birthday' when you called them, and only one of your friends had texted you. A sweet message, but still kind of depressing.

You knew it shouldn't have been a big deal, no one cared about nineteen, right? Eighteen was the big birthday and you'd had a good enough day last year, so you weren't really sure why this year had brought you down so much.

Maybe it was just because your love of birthdays was never reciprocated. A person's birthday could be the most exciting day of the year, and you were of the opinion that it should be, if possible. You were the one who showed up with a hand-baked cake on your friend's doorstep, without fail. It was something you enjoyed doing undoubtedly, you spent ages picking out which colour the icing should be and what edible decorations should go on top.

On top of that, you considered your defining talent to be writing cards. It was something you took pride in, penning almost-essays that encapsulated the breadth and depth of your love for your nearest and dearest. Proclamations of never-ending adoration, gratitude for years of friendship, the insides of your heart and soul sitting amongst fresh ink and scribbled hearts. You signed your name with a heart and a flower every time. Plus, you made particular efforts to come up with a creative pun or doodle for the front, just to keep things interesting.

So birthdays were things you held in high regard, and having yours seemingly mean nothing to anyone else was a bit of a mood killer if you were being totally honest. Still, what could you do? You picked yourself up, ate an uninspiring breakfast and went to uni.

You felt more anonymous than usual in class. With the semester having started only a week prior, you were in a sea of new people, none of them having any way of knowing it was your birthday, and you weren't quite at the point where you were begging for well-wishes from people you didn't particularly care about. And so you took notes, put your hand up for the participation grade and dreamed of your own cake and candles.

By the end of the day you were exhausted. The classes were long anyway, but carrying around your own personal grey cloud was taking a toll on your body and mind. It was at the car park when your phone dinged; James.

are you coming over tonight?

please

You smiled a little despite your sour mood. Even if James didn't seem like he was fully aware of your outlook on birthdays, being with him always made you feel better.

It'd already been dark for an hour or so by the time you reached the flat he shared with the boys, the winter weather making the sun disappear at four o'clock. You knocked on his door softly, unable to pluck up the strength to even make your presence easily known. James must've been waiting for you though, since you heard the heavy pad of his feet almost instantaneously.

The sight of him nearly took your breath away, though nothing was out of the ordinary. He was still the same old James, his glasses slightly askew on his nose, but he was looking at you with such softness that you felt the tears spike behind your eyes. You tried to push them down.

"I thought we'd have a bit of an early dinner. I know you won't have eaten at uni." He took your bag, setting it by the entry table softly. You managed to nod, hopefully not giving away all your awful feelings. You tried not to be cut up that he hadn't wished you a happy birthday yet.

All of your melancholy had been for nothing, you realised, when James led you to the dining table. He'd gone the full mile, with a cheesy red tablecloth and single candle as the centrepiece.

"Happy birthday, my love," He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. You couldn't help it, the tears rolling down your cheeks before you even realised. Once they started you had no chance, sobs wracking through your body as James stood beside you, bewildered.

"Is this not okay? Do you not like it?" He fretted as you cried, and you rushed to reassure him.

"I love it, Jamie, promise. It's just," You managed a half laugh through your bout of tears, "I thought no one cared. I can't believe you've done this for me." James' brow furrowed deeper than you'd ever seen it before as he pulled you into a tight hug.

"I would do anything for you, love. I mean it."

Once your tears had subsided you had a lovely dinner, James making you double over with laughter as all thoughts of your previous shit day dissolved under the weight of the homemade pasta sitting in your stomach.

Just before the night died down, James presented you with a small box, wrapped in the most beautiful silky ribbon. You glanced up at him curiously, untying it slowly. Inside was the most beautiful bracelet you'd ever seen. Connected with a heart-shaped clasp and decorated with a single charm, a love letter. You were embarrassed by the tears working their way back up to your lash line, but James looked delighted by the reaction, he lived to make you happy.

"Thank you," You whispered, "I love you."

James didn't have to say it back for you to know, but he did anyway because it made him happy.

Maybe your birthday wasn't the flashy event you might've wanted, however deep down, but you were strangely okay with it. Despite the fact that no one showed up to your door with a hand-baked cake or essay-length card, you had James, and James would've pulled the stars down from the sky if he thought it would boost your mood. That was enough.

[decolonize-the-everything]

You are literally going to get people killed by pushing them to vote third party. People voting third party is why Trump won in 2016, which allowed him to stack the Supreme Court with conservative garbage which is going to negatively affect us for DECADES to come (already has, since it led to the repeal of Roe v. Wade which has LITERALLY killed people). I'm baffled, because you've done so much good work on this website (like I still go back and regularly reread your posts on whiteness etc because they're so informative), but advocating for voting third party going into one of the most important elections in recent memory is actively harmful.

Like have you heard of Project 2025? In case you haven't it's literally like a 1000 page manifesto for the Republican party to reshape the federal government to essentially let the President become a dictator. It also expressly mentions plans to roll back rights for women, the LGBT community, and pretty much any other minority you can think of. I know things are bad now - not arguing that at all - but if Republicans win next year, things will get EXPONENTIALLY WORSE.

You can sit there and yell about Democrats being "just as bad" until you're blue in the face, but it's literally not true. The Democratic Party itself is obviously just another problematic institution and there are definitely Dems who showed their entire asses with supporting Israel, but like... Progressive Democrats do exist and while they're obviously not perfect, it's absolutely a step in the right direction. Not to mention Republicans literally need to cheat by gerrymandering and attacking voting rights for minorities in order to even get elected in a lot of places, whereas Democrats tend to win when more people are registered and actually show up to vote. They are not the same, and the harm they do is not the same.

Again, I have a lot of respect for the work you do, especially with your recent posts on the Palestinian genocide. But I vehemently disagree with your stance on voting third party in this upcoming election. Ideally I would love if we could vote third party and actually have multiple options that more accurately represent us as a population, but our current system is a two party one and unfortunately we literally do have to vote for the lesser of two evils, because one option sucks but preserves what little democracy we have (and gives us a chance of making it better) and one will literally bring genocide against trans people. I would personally rather not see that happen.

How can you say this and mention the Palestinian genocide in the same ask.

Democrats are getting people killed. In fact they're committing one of The worst crime against humanity possible and then only thing you're worried about is that things might get worse for gay people if a Republicans wins.

I'm the biggest queer I know. I'm native. I'm brown. I'm almost definitely on a watch list. And listen to me and understand the depth of my words when I say: my people have been oppressed the way Project2025 outlines.

And maybe you personally cared or helped us protest that. But most people didn't. In fact I can't remember the last time the US supported native rights at all.

But now that YOURE under threat I'm supposed to risk my life because the queer community can't be bothered to stop discoursing about neopronouns long enough to actual give an shit about saving the community?

Y'all got a lot of damn nerve, let me tell you.

Go bark up some other tree cuz this is not the one.

Also I'm not pushing anyone to vote 3rd party. I'm laying out facts. Facts are a Gallup poll says 63% of people would vote 3rd party. Facts are my Tumblr poll says that number is STILL at least 45% on the hellsite.

And since people are interested in voting 3rd party they should know their options. The people who say "I would vote 3rd party but they don't have support" also deserve to see the articles that said 63% of people would join them.

They deserve to know that 3rd parties currently hold a not insignificant amount percentage of support from the two main parties. 20% of votes. When 33% is an even split are good odds. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry, blue Fascists, but this country is in fact still a democracy and just because you Want people to vote blue doesn't mean they have to and you feeling they're the best doesn't make you right!

Other people aren't "wrong" for not wanting your conservative Jurassic party in power anymore.

They can vote how they want.

And if you see a poll that says 63% of people would rather NOT vote for either major party and your first thought is not: wow 63% is enough to elect someone we want, I'll support that.

And instead you go: how can I force them to vote for my party instead.

Then please understand it is not THEM splitting the vote. Biden will get MAYBE 40% votes. You gonna force 63% of the country to vote for someone they don't even want?

There's a name for that yeah?

How'd it work out in 2016 when y'all "forced" us to vote for Hillary by putting her on the ballot? She lost and she wasn't even actively commiting a genocide.

But you think Biden will not only earn votes from that 63% but he'll also win the election. Against trump. Which less blatantly shitty democrats have struggled to contend with?

Democrats are legitimately delusional.

Your problem is you see Democrats as being better than Republicans. While the rest of us see less and less of a difference every year. And you can only say you're "better" if you're different enough.

See this is what happens when you vote for the "lesser evil." Eventually that evil balances back out and you're left with the truth that your two main options are just evil.

Now the only people actually different enough to make that argument are third parties.

Coincidentally, that's what people are drawn to right now.

I know, go figure. It's almost like it makes sense to lose support when you consistently prop up shitty candidates nobody asked for every 4 years.

We do not have a two party system and you know that, that's why you sent this ask.

Cuz you're stressed dems might lose. Cuz you KNOW people have other options.

Good. Cuz they will lose if Biden is the democrat's nominee and Claudia de la Cruz stays in the race, which she will since she's running with PSL not democrats. So there's no competition. Her party is organized and chosen her and a VP already, she's guaranteed every one of their votes because her party works like a union does.

It's a wrap.

Biden can't use his "lesser evil" script with Claudia De La Cruz on the ballot actively challenging his genocide and imperialism.

Vote Claudia De La Cruz cuz you are a scooping water out of the Titanic trying to get 63% of Americans to think voting for a Genocidal warmonger is what's best for any of us, let alone the planet. And we didn't want him BEFORE he did any of this.

[pseudowho]

Hi Mrs. Haitch :D!!! I have a bit of a problem dump in the following 2 paragraphs. And I absolutely do not expect you to read or respond unless you want to! You’re not a therapist and you’re not responsible for others’ emotions. If you do want to read/reply, that’s really welcomed as well!

I personally have had/am having issues with men who are in their thirties hitting on me when I thought I made it clear I just want to be completely platonic friends AND they all knew my age from the start 🥲 TW - I was 19 when two 33 year olds sexually harassed me (one was a coworker who said stuff out of the blue, like, “you want kids? I’ll put one in you” (for context, he heard me talking to my co-hostess about wanting to raise children in the ways I never got loved, nurtured, and cared for) // “What if I touch myself and moan your name?” // “Wanna hear a joke TRIGGER WARNING “Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you” which was literally such a disgusting and inexcusable joke??? Hello?) and currently there’s a 30 year old guy who KEEEEEPS trying to get me to be his super close friend (he was flirting CONSTANTLY until I made it really overly clear I don’t want romance with anyone atm). He knows I am 21 as well! Which is wild to me! Just wild. I’ve literally FELT my frontal lobe developing in the past few years (It’s like I could suddenly start to understand the importance of more practical decisions), and it won’t stop developing until I’m 25 either. So for a full grown 30 year old… to be… I’m 9 year younger than him… idk… it’s weird to me…

and I was wondering, should I feel bad for these people? Would you let pity/guilt override the judgment? (I am not perfect at all and have my share of flaws, but I have had a issues with letting hurt people who hurt people, get away with stuff they do to me AND I feel guilty for not being their personal therapist, even though expecting that of any single person who ISN’T one’s professional therapist, is unfair). You seem like a kind person who understands the depth of humans, so I think I trust your judgment! And would love to hear what you have to say if you want to share. The 33 year olds have deep rooted issues and my heart truly sympathizes with them (but I do feel a shit ton of disgust too. if they ever did that to somebody else I would be SO MAD).

I’m eventually somehow gonna figure these questions out (as life tends to go), so don’t worry about this ask at all if it’s not ur cup of tea, or is draining.

Take care and hope you have a LOVEEEELYYYY DAYYYYYY!!!! (Also curious what ur fav tea is? Mine is Numi’s earl gray. It’s too perfect, so elevated. Very flavorful and elegant and THE NOTESSSSSS oh god. Could write a whole post on it)

Anyone who thinks comments like that are flirting, need to be re-educated. With a baseball bat. They'll call it 'dark humour' when really they're just cunts, so they're doing you a real favour showing you that early.

Well done for not being flattered by the attentions of an older man, because...

If there's anything that women aged 30+ tend to notice, it's that when men their age hit on much younger women, it's usually because that man's character is lacking, he's emotionally immature, a predator who relies on younger women and girls being less self confident, and it is most often a RED FLAG.

These 30+ year old men are usually not with women their own age, because the women their own age recognise that they're arseholes or losers, most of the time, and we cringe when they then repeatedly shoot their shot with young women who they will flatter with that age old adage of 'you're so mature for your age!'

If they have deep-seated issues and they turn it into someone else's problem, without any sense of ownership or willingness to actually work on resolving or improving from their issues, RUN.

Never get with someone out of pity. Have some self-respect, and do not let them mistake your kindness for weakness.

Because people see me as understanding, I am a therapist. To everyone. All the time. Strangers, within hours of meeting me, will often pour out their emotional vulnerabilities and traumas; while I'm tough and able to compute it all, and to help them, and read through a solution, it is sometimes a heavy burden.

But for YOU, remember there is a difference between you therapising someone, and someone using you to trauma-dump. Learn to recognise the two, and protect yourself from being used, especially if these are the very same men who have recently been trying to get into your pants.

My favourite tea is Yorkshire Tea by Taylors of Harrogate, with a splash of milk and a spoonful of brown sugar or honey.

Don't let these pieces of shit use you, kiddo.

They're not "daddies"; they haven't earned such an esteemed title. Nothing daddy about these tramps.

All my love, and I have a knife in my pocket,

-- Haitch xxx

[disruptivevoib]

hi! ive listened to some of chonny jash's songs but did not realize that there was really a story? Or i vaguely knew but didn't have the time/energy to get into it and with the release of the bidding animation ive realized theres like a bajillion awesome animations and art and i want to get into cccc but have no clue how. also why does soul have a trident.

OH man!

The story of CCCC has an overall seeming narrative, but much of it's smaller points are interpretive due to Jash himself leaving it up to fans of the album. But! Overall it kind of goes like:

-Jash or, what most people call Whole, splits as due to mental dissonance and waning mental health. (Time Machine Reprise).

- Whole fades into Soul (End of TMR into Dream) and from there its Mucka Blucka as a sort of introductory song. The recap for a story you have or haven't heard yet.

- (The entire album is a time loop! Which is a big metaphor for the cycles of mental health and illness people go through.)

- From there its the section called "Cacophony" which starts off with Soul, but eventually it turns to Heart and Mind + their fighting and inability to see or listen to one another or their points of view. Of course, as Logic and Emotion, they both have valid ideas or opinions, but believe themselves so contradictory that the other must be evil or out to get them.

- Heart attempts to shoot Mind, as referred to in Ruler of Everything. Literal or Metaphorical as you take this, it is seemingly symbolic for an attempt at one's own life if not self sabotage. If not then both.

- The rest up until Soul Eclectic is sort of just the Mind and Heart fighting and their own personal views each on the situation.

- Soul in The Soul Eclectic reaches his breaking point. Threatening to kill them all (A more direct attempt at suicide)

- Mind and Heart in the subsequent songs decide to get their shit together.

- (Two Wuv) Soul realizes that not only can they be happier now but that trying to force themselves to conform to society's ideas of mental health or belief or love is just plainly unbeneficial. Sort of a song about unapologetically being yourself.

- Welcome To Tally Hall is a tribute to Tally Hall themselves more than anything.

- This transfers into Concord soon after! Concord is Whole or Jash by himself, though many of the songs seem to carry themes from Cacophony in them. Self sabotage, disagreement, importance placed on the wrong thing, the idea that no one person is better off than another. It concludes with Taken for a Ride. Which is also sort of CJ's epic "im burnt out as hell" song towards the end. But exaggerated to my knowledge for lyrical shenanigans.

That is CCCC as neutrally told as best as possible. I highly recommend forming your own ideas on it, but I'd be happy to also discuss more in depth my opinion on each song should you or anyone else express interest!

Getting into the Trident: The fandom took the metaphor of "Tridential Sovreignty" and "This trident he formed (found? Lyrics.) is both weapon and motive" and said "Soul's got a trident" to which Jash responded with "Absolutely yes he does now" Same with the crown most people put Mind in, and that is referenced in the "Trident, Crown and Blindfold" line.

Soul really did get noose imagery, a trident and a mask. All Heart n Mind got were a blindfold and crown. Lmao

Though Heart is also commonly drawn with wings. Which is semi-canonical according to album covers. I choose to ignore them because I don't particularly have an attachment to the idea!

Getting into the fandom itself, I can recommend looking around for the Chonny Jash Fan Server (CJFS) Discord link. But it can be extremely intimidating and even I just stick to discussion and one other thread channel. (Sides from my au channels which pop up every once a month or so).

Important note is that only Tally Hall covers have to do with HMS. Any of Jash's other music (of which I highly recommend, always) is unrelated. There is also a fan QnA somewhere that was done like a year ago now which has some neat answers in it.

I, again, am happy to go into my interpretations of HMS and the music as a whole but skdmsm saved you the reading hopefully should that be undesired!

[delumineight]

hi hello :)) im sure you've been asked this a million times before but romione headcanons??

i have but i literally love sharing them and i always have new ones (especially since the last time i posted them here)… so they’re below the cut because they’re extensive. i may go more in depth to certain ones in the future, but these are surface level for now.

ron is 6’4” while hermione is 5’6”

personally i headcanon ron scrawny as hell and hermione to be midsized

the “alternate house” thing isn’t real for either of them they’re both such gryffindors through and through

they don’t talk about him leaving during the horcrux hunt except for one time, in the tent after xenophillius’ alone without harry listening

they do however talk about the deluminator after the way and try to figure out why the hell it did that

they sent owls back and forth constantly when hermione went back to school — they owe errol and pigwidgeon actual reparations

they didn’t really plan having rose, they had talked about it but they weren’t like “let’s have a kid” they just stopped taking precautions

hermione absolutely loves wearing his shirts

ron was already thinking about quitting aurors and discussed it with hermione, but he’s pushed over the edge when he has to face a boggart and it’s hermione being tortured at malfoy manor. he turns in his papers the next day without telling her

hermione cannot, and i mean cannot PLEASE keep her out of the kitchen, cook but ron can and he loves doing so

their favorite spot for prefect rounds was the astronomy tower

personal indulgent one here… i know not everyone agrees… but they were secretly dating the entirety of deathly hallows and kept it a secret because it was too dangerous of times for a “blood traitor” and “mudblood” to be together and they didn’t want harry to feel alienated when he was around them

ron is pretty much all of the kids’ favorite uncle

ron has blond eyelashes and hermione will never get over how the sun falls through them

ron’s scar from getting splinched is a lot worse than you’d think, it’s deep and marred and has a texture to it all the way around

hermione has night terrors, maybe even sleep paralysis and she only goes to healer for it after ron begs and begs her to, but she makes sure he’s with her the entire time

hermione’s scars from bellatrix never fade

also, she has one from dolohov’s curse from the battle of the department of mysteries in ootp that stretches from one shoulder diagonally across her torso to her opposite hip

ron knew he was going to marry hermione at fred’s funeral

if ron and harry go back to hogwarts for their eighth year with hermione: they are absolutely the most annoying couple ever! also they’re head boy and girl

if draco and harry get together: they hate it at first. personally, i hate hate hate the idea that they were immediately like okay whatever about it. drarry friends do y’all know what he did to them!2?!2/!?! they warm up to the idea slowly because they see how happy harry is because of him but it’s a process.

nsfw-ish

these are very tame! but warning for anyone who needs it.

hermione is actually more… eager for lack of better terms after the war

their first time is in australia

poor harry has seen and heard far too much than what he’d like

i may list more of these later but in the future bc this was for general headcanons and not nsfw!

[familiaralien]

Giant monster tamer megathread

Decided for the sake of education and my own neurodiversity to make a post including every video game series or stand alone title I know of that focuses on creature capturing competitions that isn't Pokemon.

One big exception: the game has to be a reasonably playable state. So no games that are effectively or literally lost media (like Micromon) or games that only playable state is currently a short demo (like Bestieball). With that in mind here we go:

Digimon

This one is pretty obvious. While more of a multimedia franchise it has tons of games to its IP. The one that probably would appeal most to Pokenerds is Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth and its sequel as they're turned based RPGs with a monster capture mechanic.

Monster Rancher

Another one I think a lot of folks have heard about or least millennials would remember. I haven't personally played any of these titles myself but from what I gather they're raising sims with tournament combat. For a while their availability was mostly limited to emulation but Monster Rancher 1 and 2 have been ported to modern systems like the Switch.

Yo-kai Watch

A mid 2010s franchise that had a whole lot of initial success in Japan. Its an RPG series that doesn't take itself very seriously with cute and goofy monster design based on the Japanese folklore creatures called... well yokai. Has real time combat instead of turn based and more luck based capturing mechanics than Pokemon.

Palworld

Brand new game that's only in its alpha release as of now. Its effectively a parody of Pokemon where you're stuck trying to survive in the wilderness so you must build a base and farm resources to survive. Game did have some initial controversy due to some of its designs stepping a little TOO close to being outright ripoffs of existing designs. Also you can capture and enslave humans which may not vibe with some folks.

Temtem

Basically Pokemon meets a MMO lite. The game can be played mostly as single player campaign but does unfortunately still require a constant internet connection. Battles are turned based but 2 versus 2.

Shin Megami Tensei

What could be consider the original monster tamer game. The series is aimed at a somewhat older audience and the plots tend to be more philosophical then like "gotta be the best *insert title here* ever". Focuses a lot on fusing monsters as well as trying to convince them to join you. You actually battle alongside your monsters.

Dragon Quest Monsters

Monster Capturing mechanics do exist in the mainline DQ games as well (at least since DQ5 I think?) but its these games have them as the main gameplay. Much like SMT it focuses on fusing monsters as one of the main ways to expand your library off available species.

Nexomon

Franchise that started its life as a mobile game but has since gotten ports to other systems. Its very similar to Pokemon in terms of creature designs and combat but the worldbuilding is quite different as is its tone being a lot more comedic.

Coromon

Indie game with visuals similar to Pokemon Black and White. Its story was originally kinda so-so and its ending pretty abrupt but its since gotten a free patch that smoothed that out quite a bit. Also has a sorta unique "shiny" system where alternate colors are associated with higher potential which can actually be altered once. Also has a built in randomizer and "nuzlocke" mode.

Cassette Beasts

A pretty recent indie game. Unlike all the others you don't capture or hatch monsters but rather record them to transform into them yourself. Battles are always between you and a companion which there are multiple to befriend throughout your journey (including a dog!). Has some really interesting quirks with its type chart that adds a lot of extra depth. Will soon be releasing a mutiplayer update for anyone that's into that kind of thing.

Monster Crown

A game with visual based on the Gameboy era. It has some pretty fascinating breeding mechanics and a somewhat darker tone than Pokemon. WARNING: DO NOT GET THE SWITCH PORT! For whatever reason its especially glitchy and I have genuinely gotten entire save files ruined by game breaking bugs (such as my player character getting stuck in walls or clipping out of a bounds). As far as I'm aware the PC version is not nearly as much as a mess though.

Monster Sanctuary

Monster collecting meets metroidvania. Has a really fun skill tree type move learning system that allows for quite a bit of strategy. Also the monster designs are way less Pokemon and more inspired by traditional roleplay monsters (so there's like Goblins and stuff). My only gripe with the game is how you get monsters involves getting specific scores in battle which makes getting 1 of each monster way more tedious than it needed to be.

Fossil Fighters

Franchise is maybe dead since there hasn't been a new entry in it since the 3DS but its still easy enough to these games. Anyway this series involve reviving dinosaurs (and some other ancient animals) into new lifeforms called vivosaur and using them in 3 on 3 combat. Vivosaurs are obtained with a fossil digging minigame which is kinda neat.

Spectrobes

Another franchise that's been pretty dead for a while (it last entry was on the Wii). Spectrobes has a more sci fi like setting with its monsters being aliens you revive from fossils. Combat is real time and you participate alongside a couple of your monsters. I'm btw describing only the first game because I haven't played either sequel!

Evocreo

Mobile only monster game with a style similar to Pokemon Black and White not unlike Coromon mentioned above. Has a lot of focus on split path evolution. The devs are apparently going to release a sequel soon but its been in development hell for years so I'll come back and edit this if that actually happens.

Monster Hunter Stories

I have not played nor watched gameplay of this one so I can't really describe it that deeply all I know is its a spinoff of Monster Hunter involving befriending and using the titular monsters in combat.

Telefang

Its sad this game series is most famous for being badly translated and repackaged as a Pokemon game. Anyway these are Japanese only titles though fan translations exist. The gimmick of this game is that you call monsters up on your cellphone to get them over to participate in combat. This series this sprout out when cellphones were consider newfangled and hip so it makes sense.

Anode Heart

Pretty sure this one is PC only. Takes some inspiration from the Digimon World games and is semi open world. Sadly this one I don't know much about outside of that though it does have a free demo on Steam for anyone that wants to try it for themselves.

Ooblets

Extremely wholesome monster catching and farming game. Battles are actually dancing competitions instead of violent confrontations and monsters are recruited simply by beating them in a fight. Thing is monsters will only fight you if you offer them their favourite food so that's where strategy comes in.

Moonstone Island

I know very little about this one except its also a monster catching and farming game. I've heard that its really good though and I believe its PC only right now but has a planned Switch port.

Timenet

Probably the most obscure ass monster tamer on this entire list. This is a Japanese exclusive set of Gameboy games featuring very cute monster designs... and Hello Kitty. Yes Sanrio made a monster tamer back in the late 90s. I only learned this even existed after scrolling down a comment section on a random YouTube video.

Abomi Nation

I'm mostly excluding roguelike games due to most having nothing but battles an 0 plot but this one does actually has a story! You play as the actual monster as you make your way through somewhat randomly generated maps with lots of other randomized elements. The game allows for a lot of customization including turning off permadeath if you're not a fan of that. The visual style is a bit crude but its still a pretty cute game.

Jade Concoon

Another somewhat obscure entry but at least this one got an English release. Anyway its an old RPG for the PSX with monster capturing and a very fascinating monster fusing mechanic that uses an algorithm to determine the appearance of the fusion. The player character can also participate in battle and the plot is very complex. The game also has a sequel on the PS2 but I know even less about that one.

Robopon

Now if you thought Palworld was bordering on some copyright infringement this game is basically nothing but "Pokemon but the designs are robots". Still worth bringing up I think!

Ni No Kuni

Not sure how I got to mentioning several obscure titles and somehow didn't mention something that really isn't. Ni No Kuni is real time battles between you and 2 party members. You can both battle as the actual human characters or switch into a monster. Wrath of the White Witch's visual style in particular is very whimsical and even has some animated cutscene done by Studio Ghibli. I haven't played any other game in the franchise.

Siralim

I haven't played any entry in this series yet (there's apparently 4 games + a spinoff) but from reading up on the most recent entry these are basically procedurally generated dungeon crawlers with an insane level of depth. The story is apparently not that great but the games themselves apparently also make fun of it so it seems its an intentional dev choice. Battles are 6 on 6 and there's over 1000 monsters to collect.

Disc Creatures

A monster tamer with a visual style similar to the Gameboy and Gameboy Color. It has 3 on 3 combat. Impressively I'm pretty sure it was developed by just one person in the RPG Maker engine (I'm honestly surprised this is the first indie game made with ya know... an engine meant for turned based RPGs).

Monster Harvest

A Dungeon crawler mixed with farming. Its a bit shorter than anything else I've mentioned here and its a bit glitchy but its a cute little game worth picking up on sale at the least. Notably also only about a 1/3 of the monster in the game are combative with the rest being either used for farming resources or as mounts.

Loomian Legacy

A Roblox monster tamer.... yes there's 2 of those in this (I could even have added 3 but I think one is in still a pretty early state). Pretty sure this started as a Pokemon fangame and become its own thing later. It has your typical 1 on 1 turn based combat and all that. I think its free to play and there's like several hours of content on it so maybe worth a gander.

Tales of Tonorio

Pretty sure this is the same basic deal as Loomian (Roblox game, started as a Pokemon fan game, etc etc) though its has its own world building and creature designs since I'm pretty sure its made by a completely different team.

So yeah that's all of them I can think of right now. If I learn of others and/or there's new releases I may expand this.

PS: There is almost certainly numerous typoes in this. This post is way longer than anything else I've ever made on Tumblr so I can't be arse to fix them you're just going to have to deal!

[emyluwinter]

Okay, fine.

They liked my short ideas on this idea and asked me to do another part.

It will definitely be very messy and will have errors. So I'm sorry if I miss any inaccuracies somewhere or make an invention in the plot I decided to demand less from myself. Therefore, weak text is better than not written text at all.

I also tried to mark everyone who asked under that original post. I'm sorry if I missed someone. the first part -

For the record….do not write with a nagging constant two-day pain like me.

Warning - self-destruction, nervous breakdown, manipulation and intimidation. Anxiety and depressive disorder. PTRS.

Following the President of the School Board through the corridors of the Noble Bell College, Yuu could not get rid of the nauseating taste of something nasty bitter and bilious. Disgusting, unpleasant, caustic, remaining on the tip of the tongue for so long that they wanted to brush every inch. Their hands continued to shake as if denying the very existence of any control over them. Hidden behind the back or pockets, so as not to give away a single second of weakness of the body. Weak legs barely dragged to make awkward steps. Wadded, swollen, Yuu could make up their own dictionary of synonyms to describe their deplorable condition. Every cell of them literally begged for rest, begged for peace and a blissful recovery. Pouring through the veins with a heavy metallic substance that tightened and dried up every second of the breath of life….

Right.

Less than a week has passed since a nervous breakdown occurred away from all eyes. And they already demanded from themselves to close this event again in a deep box at a depth that no light falls and the pressure will crush the bones of anyone who tries to at least get close to this pandora's chest.No one should know about this. Not a single "living soul".

But it doesn't matter now…

Right now, it was more important for Yuu to get the permission of the Director of the Noble Bell College. Without at least a vague, not very detailed plan, fleeing and leaving the Night Raven was extremely reckless. It was a foolhardy naive decision that they had to believe, sincerely believe that Yuu could trust others. How many times did they have to come up with a plan on the go? How many times to give hints to others and not even be heard?

It was as if they were left on hot coals and the time was lost in every second. All these moments, all these cases when their words really had weight and meaning for others. Looking back, it was all too clear that they were barely enough for a handful of sand the size of a field mouse's paw. Everything to please others, nothing to do for ourselves. One of the most difficult tasks or a chain of intricate quests that were born in their head, which must be completed without exception. Before they can give themselves some rest.

The first. Go to the college grounds and find someone from the trinity who knows them personally by sight.

The difficulty is that this is a closed institution, without an invitation from the outside, you cannot pass and contact anyone. To meet Rollo Flamme is a good option, in Yuu's opinion, he harbored some kind of special strange kindness and tenderness because of their "pure soul and noble heart" in the form of the absence of any magic. A strange guy, but now anyone who will not refuse at least a simple overnight stay will do.

The second

is that no matter who is found, we must remain honest. It was carved into all the fragments of the heart and what was left of Yuu. Honestly tell everything without this damned lies and tricks, deception and manipulations with which they were fed up to hoarse vocal cords. Tell them that they need a place where they could stay until adulthood. Be a janitor? It'll do. To be a man who will plow to the bone crunch just to earn himself a couple of extra madols to get back on his feet? Not the most desirable option, but now their presence is in a negative value. You choose the lesser of two evils.

The third

is to get to the college principal to talk directly and ask for a place before graduation. Not even don't as a student. What the hell kind of study is it, maybe, if Yuu won't apply it for a fraction of a second of his life?!

They will not be hired just because of their knowledge of magic, if there is no magic itself. Even weighing everything from the rational side, Yuu agreed that this would be the most delusional development of events that they can only imagine. In addition, if there is still a chance that they will return home….

They will not only have any knowledge in order to find a job, they will not have any necessary experience behind them in order to integrate back into society.

They will need to start all over again. Again. Like a hamster in a wheel without seeing either the end or the beginning.

An excellent option would be if their training is related to purely household things. Yuu are already very good at repairing things, even in their own world they could find something similar. If they come back….

If only they hadn't been thrown away as an unnecessary thing….

No.No.No. Not now.

"Pull yourself together, we have almost reached the third point. Everything will be fine…"

Take a deep breath, rummaging in your pants pocket and finding a small box, Yuu took out one mint lollipop and quickly sent it into they mouth. To suppress this stupid nausea and distract from the fact that they are getting chills. It's been hours. As if they are in icy water, heavy and prickly. It's good that they have already learned to control their appearance so much that it's not so obvious.

Judging by Flamme's short stories while they were heading to the office, the Principal of the Noble Bell College is a very kind and very wise man. Taking another deep breath through his nose, Yuu straightens up when they reach the office. They had experienced so many dangerous and deadly events that the usual dialogue with someone older was ridiculously harmless.

****

-I don't believe my ears… - The Director exclaimed in amazement. He was an aged man, with a straight, not arrogant posture, but confident and honed with the years he had lived. A large, age-wise forehead, with deep wrinkles dotted all over his face, not at all repulsive from his good-natured appearance.

Yuu really liked his fluffy thick gray eyebrows, which stand out sharply from all the features. And sideburns. They were so fluffy that it seemed a little comical despite his strict appearance.

-Rollo, this is the first time I've heard you ask for a college place for someone. Taking someone in the middle of the semester..

Softly and politely clearing his throat, drawing attention to himself, Yuu added. -Sorry to interrupt, sir….I agree not even to be a student. If you will allow and pay your attention, listen to my situation completely. After looking at the two teenagers who took turns arriving quite early in his office, the Director pointed to a small table and several chairs in front of his desk.

-Have a seat, I think we have a long conversation ahead of us. Rollo, please pour a glass of water for our guests. They look very unhealthy, I'm afraid that we need to go to the infirmary after our conversation.

-Yes, sir. - nodding politely in agreement, Flamme quickly went to a table near the wall, and taking a carafe of water began to fill glasses for them all. Yuu lowered the backpack next to his feet, slowly settled down on one of the chairs right in front of the director's desk.

-So…My name is Idiv Oden, I am the principal of Noble Bell College. And as far as I can remember, Rollo was talking about one very memorable student without magic from Night Raven College. After introducing himself, Oden glanced briefly at Rollo, who loudly knocked the tip of the decanter's beak on the glass when he was mentioned like that.

Apparently, he was somewhat confused by the fact that this particular detail was remembered. The director apparently looked like a grandfather who diligently looks after his grandson. If only he knew how bad this grandson was. Well, a good alignment in Yuu's opinion. In any case, it is better to feel some polite goodwill than open hostility and swearing, which I had to face on a daily basis.

-My name is Yuu, sir. And…. - it turned out to be more difficult to start than Yuu expected, nervously licking his lips, trying to calm the trembling in his hands and voice. Taking another short breath, Yuu tried to lay out all the cards that they have now. Leaving a couple of details for those options when they may be needed more than now.

-If I was able to find the information correctly in the past. The building where the Noble Bell is located and now it is a college… was a place of refuge for anyone who needed and asked for it……I don't have any kind of magic, and frankly, I don't intend to be your student. I just need a place where I can live for the next two years. Of course, I will try and work to pay for everything.

Two years. It is this time period that would be enough for all those people who knew Yuu, whom they once treasured, to graduate from college and the memory of the student without magic erased from their memory. Two years to lay low, not to attract attention and views from the island of sages. Not to see that damn uniform or any of the familiar faces. Two years to sew up the remnants and patches that remained of their hearts, anew and hide from all eyes as soon as possible. Considering this "thing" too unnecessary in this world, but necessary to at least live a little further. And two years… to try to find a solid, unshakable foundation under your feet. The one that Yuu can't lose anymore or someone will steal it on a whim. Even if they have to face the painful fact that they will not return home and will remain in this world for the rest of their lives…

They will think about it a little later, now something else is more important.

-That's right. Once upon a time, a righteous judge was so kind-hearted that he did not deny anyone in need if their thoughts were pure…But child, please tell me why did you drop out of Night raven College so suddenly?

Judging by the look, it was possible to understand Director Auden that he was trying to find out all the details of Yuu's situation. And to understand their good intentions or not.

Noble Bell College is not a place that anyone can come and stay who wants. They will have to answer to the Ministries and the highest level on which the whole system rests. So, if the situation requires it, let's go back to one of the points of the task. If you need to enlist their support, you need honesty and proof. What could be better than a material answer to all their many questions. Words have no weight and meaning in helping Yuu. They've already burned it on every inch of their every bone. No one will listen to a teenager without magic. Show me, not tell me.

-Because of circumstances that I couldn't take anymore. - Taking a glass of water from Rollo's hands, Yuu took a big sip to calm their nerves a little, hurried to leave the glass on the table next to it. Rummaging in his breast pocket and taking out a weighty envelope, Yuu handed it to the Director.

-Here are photos in the place where I lived for more than six months … also in the envelope there is a cassette and a small player that will make it clear to you that I was in a state of painful… dependence on Director Dair Crowley…

Taking the envelope and hastily opening it, Director Oden gestured for Flamme to come closer and personally look at the photos. He wanted to get the opinion of one of his trusted students for a solution.

It was somewhat funny for Yuu to see the full range of emotions reflected on their faces.

Initially there was shock and surprise, it seemed that their caps almost flew to the ceiling from their outburst of magic, misunderstanding and denial of what they saw replaced their initial reaction. Then disgust and disgust, which were replaced by irritation and some rage in their eyes.

The photos were completely convincing, mold that ruined most of some rooms in constant humidity. The ceiling, the corners of the windows, on the floor or walls, did not matter. Wild poison ivy invaded the entire garden and the back extension with firewood, which could not be approached without pruning shears and protective gloves. Glass strewn like a sandy beach all over the floor on the floors next to boarded up windows. Collapsed roof beams spreading a view of the whole sky. Time-warped steps and crooked stairs that are about to collapse from a light breeze. Tons of dust and soot that buried the whole building…

Slowly sipping water from their glass, Yuu felt a little better, it looks like they had dehydration from the breakdown that happened a few days ago. Which didn't surprise they at all.

Yuu wondered if the righteous judge himself, who is so respected and loved here, would have kicked them out of the city from the first second? Or did he still try to believe them? Remembering their dreams about the Great Seven, Yuu decided that it would be better to never meet such a person at all, because it would definitely not end well for them.

-In the name of heaven….T-that's what.. mold on the walls?! And broken glass in boarded-up windows?! Have you been living there all this time alone?!

In the piggy bank for reasons to burn down the Night Raven College,in Flamme's head, a whole wave of coins had just descended, which could not even get into the slot. He shifted his angry gaze to the photos, his expression changed to complete confusion and some compassion in his eyes as he looked at Yuu sitting peacefully in front of them.

-No. I had a cat-like beast with me that had the breath of fire. With a very… proud and arrogant character. Which I was assigned to look after all the time. We were considered one student..there's also a picture of him setting fire to the curtains to get to the ghost. He served as the magical part of the training.

No matter how much Yuu wanted to get rid of any mention of his past, some photos and facts needed to be preserved.

Exchanging glances with the President of the school board, Idiv felt that the decision was already asking for the tip of his tongue without any deliberation. But still, his many years of experience behind him suggested that it was necessary to find out some details. Frowning sternly and sternly, Oden decided to ask more questions.

-Can you tell me where you got these photos from?

A little away from a direct answer to the question, telling about getting a Ghost Camera, Yuu were able to explain that first of all they took a photo of their dorm in the first week of arrival at college. At that moment, they thought it would be funny to see how the building has changed over time. On the other hand, it was direct, indisputable, genuine proof of their treatment. Proof that Yuu decided to keep for their trump moves if the situation forces them to provide. Then they could not even think that it would become something useful and necessary for them.

-The tape recorder is a recording of all my conversations with Director Crowley. Some may not have very good sound quality…..I had to ask someone tech savvy to rewrite everything on tape.

Crowley's usually stupid assignment is to look through and listen to all the surveillance video and audio cameras to find the moment where he dropped his keys to something important.

Who would have known that even such a small thing would bring benefits for Yuu.

To ask Ortho to find all the recordings of their conversations and countless requests, there are no threats and assignments without a choice from Crowley, and to rewrite them into several copies with a cassette, a flash drive and a small microchip, was child's play for the genius of Ignihide.

-There were more than enough photos… judging by your appearance, it's hard for you to interact with the Night Raven in any way.

-Thank you for understanding, sir.

Unsure that they would ever voluntarily want to hear Crowley's voice again, Yuu mentally thanked Diretor Oden for this decision.

-Excuse me, Yuu… but what about your documents?

Feeling a mixture of shame and despair, Yuu took out a thin, battered folder from his backpack and handed it also into the hands of Director Oden. No matter how disgusting the fact that Crowley did not lift a finger to make at least minimal documents for them, after all that they had to go through.

-I don't have a birth certificate, sir. A document of education or at which school tudied…Or the student's personal file, which is started as you know when enrolling…I don't have a letter or application for enrollment… all I can provide is a report card. Mine and half of the student in charge of magic. This will be a confirmation that I really have been at the Night Raven College all this time and have been studying there. Until recently…

Clenching his hands into fists, Yuu nervously rubbed his thumb over his index finger. How pathetic they felt now, there was at least something left in history from every person, from every life they had lived. Any documents, stories or objects. And Yuu didn't even have a little official paper that they really ever existed. That they lived. That they were trying to fit in where they shouldn't have been. A nasty slippery feeling, as if a slimy worm was settling somewhere in Yuu's insides. Why were they so blind? So naive? They were pointed out so many times that it was worth fleeing from this place as quickly as possible, but they stupidly ignored every sign that shouted at them about it. They really wanted to help others, they really thought that friendship and affection had their own weight and meaning. That even Grimm and Ace and Deuce really treasured them. But it was all a blatant lie… The lie that Yuu gave away everything they had on a painted plate for the monsters that devoured them without a trace.

-Based on what you said..you left the Night Raven because you lived in terrible conditions not designed for this building and Director Crowley blackmailed you with your position, right?

-Yes, sir. I also did their errands… well… most of the time.

-You can speak freely, child. Everything you say will stay here. Rollo can you guarantee that everything you have heard will not leave the walls of this office?

-Yes, Director. Everything that was not heard by me will remain a secret.

Thinking about some agreement between them, Flamme could not help but understand that this information does not bring Yuu any harm, on the contrary, it was very advantageous no matter how they laid out their cards.

-What exactly did you have to do? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Looking down at the floor, Yuu hesitantly went over every moment, every event that happened in the Night Raven. They should have chosen the information more carefully, more scrupulously, no matter how much they would like to forget all this. Even if their memory was constantly failing them, even if they had to keep a diary so they wouldn't forget. Don't forget this time, and never again. So as not to lose ourselves.

-A lot, sir… facing tyranny, manipulation and blackmail in dormitories, the threat of eviction from the building that you saw earlier. Attempts of poisoning with poisons and many other things… if you will allow me, I would not like to voice out loud…

Realizing that everything turned out to be much more complicated and confusing than it might seem at first glance, Director Oden frowned even more.

-You want to know why I left this place… despite everything I went through… there was a… very… difficult conversation with Director Crowley. Related to the fact that there is a new student, much better than me.

Feeling their heart begin to squeeze as if in a blacksmith's vise, squeezing between two anvils. Yuu tried not to remember that conversation.

-The bottom line was that they found a replacement for me….a human like me was no longer needed. Although I needed them the most in those weeks….And I… have decided never to have anything to do with Night Raven College or any of their residents again..

Clutching his staff to the point of convulsions, Rollo could hardly restrain his own rage and anger. Small sparks from his magic flew over his hat like tiny lightning and flashes of flame that tried to hide in front of a fiery tornado.

He could not cope with the feelings that came over him like a snow wave from what he heard.

IF only he could have snatched Yuu from the clutches of those rotting hearts and vile hands back then! What a blind fool he had been all this time!

While waiting for a decision, sitting in the corridor next to the office, Yuu felt as if they could not catch their breath. Their panic and anxiety caught up with them again as soon as the situation slowed down at least for a while. It was worth being alone and it broke out again, as they did not try to hide it or control it. Pressing his palms to his mouth, Yuu was trying to concentrate on breathing. No one should see them in this state. It doesn't hurt them, it doesn't tear them apart from the inside. They are safe, so far away from them, why are they terrified now and ready to scream until their ligaments break? Lowering his head and biting his index finger, Yuu felt the oxygen disappear from his surroundings. Are they drowning on land?! Their ribs are squeezed so hard that they can almost hear their cracking, such a loud ugly crunch of every bone in their skeleton.

Slowly…

Are their ankles slowly enveloped by black waves of water?

No… it was ink.

Ink?! Familiar to the horror, ink… from overblott. And someone's shoes?

No. No. no. no. No.

"You cowardly ran away, ignoring all the rules of this world!"

"Just look at you… you pathetic brat."

"You have nothing to offer, you are an insignificant being"

The painfully familiar voices, heard so many times, were now reflected distorted. Too loud, too unbearable, too poisonous to try to sort out their further buzzing in the ears.

"Just a rat"

"Ugliness… and you still dare to show yourself to people?"

All of them merged into some kind of white noise along with Yuu's confused breathing.

"It was worth staying with the dead"

"You're just a toy for the entertainment of others"

-Breathe….I beg you… breathe… please…. - they tried in vain to order Yuu to their crushed mind and body.

There is no one in this world who would comfort them now.

There is no one who really cares about them.

There is no one…

No one for them…

How much more time did Yuu try to cope with the panic and screams in his head, when before their eyes clouded with horror moments when they were on the thin line of death. Each time barely grasping at some unthinkable twist of luck.

They didn't know how long they had been in this state. Gradually everything quieted down, and only a quiet wheeze from their mouths reached their ears. How their whole being ached. Inside and out, there was not a single place where at least something of their past remained.

Finally catching their breath a little, Yuu looked around devastated. Has anyone noticed their condition?

No.

Good. Yes, that's good…..they can give themselves a break. Not for long. Taking out a bottle of water left for such occasions from their backpack, Yuu greedily drank at least half of it. If no one bothers them for a couple more minutes, no one will notice what happened to them.

No questions, no condemnation of their incompetence and inability to be flexible in such situations.

They would have been ridiculed if they were in the NRC. Yes, that's right. They ridiculed me and never let me forget about it. They needed to concentrate, to put aside their deplorable state. Again.

"If they don't agree… can I go to the ghost world?" - futilely trying to pick up options, Yuu let out a doomed sigh. They won't be allowed in there. They don't have a portable dark mirror that would teleport them to any place if they wanted to.

Refusal meant a return to another not very pleasant option. RSA. There were at least two people who were connected with the NRC, which definitely led to unnecessary questions and conversations. After putting the bottle in the backpack, Yuu covered their face with their palms. All they craved now was that they could get some rest and not decide anything. Depend on no one.

They are so….tired…

****

Everything that was said earlier by Yuu confused Rollo's thoughts and feelings. It's like they were stuffed into a faulty mixer with a broken power button. To come to NBC to be as far away from the island of the sage as possible, thereby giving themselves a guarantee that they will not cross paths with those people who literally pointed Yuu to the door as soon as they were no longer needed. Enlist support, because this is a more closed college than could be found in the world…No one will come here in their right mind, without serious reasons. Get all the evidence and documents in advance so that they have a means to not challenge their words.

They thought it through from the beginning.

Every move, every action. All these intricacies.

They gave themselves an advantage and a secret move that would ensure their safety and honesty in the eyes of others. Without arousing suspicion and doubt, without giving any even a hint that they have a sharp mind and foresight. All they did or collected for this was a weighty envelope with evidence, silently resting on the director's desk. Direct evidence that Yuu, a sixteen-year-old teenager who arrived from another world. They is a victim of circumstances and people who were like a suffocating web, tightly tightening every inch of their body. Sharp heavy chains that would deprive them of all freedom and opportunities.

Unable to cope with his whirlwind of thoughts, Rollo could not admire even more the fact that Yuu….

Yuu were so far-sighted and prepared for events that could not come in a mess of probabilities. And it amazed them to a slight tremor in every cell of his body.

They should not cross the road, because even minor things that they are doing now can play a huge role for them in the upcoming events. Everything that seemed to be completely insignificant from the outside, gained enormous weight in the future for Yuu.

Feeling goosebumps running through his skin from a little childish delight, Rollo could not resist being amazed at how smart Yuu are, more than they seem at first glance.

Not only the purest soul and a kind heart, but a honed and sharp mind that was hidden from everyone.

-Director Oden….you've already decided what we can do for them, haven't you? – having asked delicately, Rollo hoped with all his heart that such a person as Yuu would not be driven away. No, they can't do that.

-It will be difficult to explain all this to the Ministry and other higher authorities of education, my dear boy.. - Oden replied thoughtfully, rubbing his chin and considering each of the options.

-But Director Oden! We can't just kick them out on the street! - Flamme already pleaded, realizing his impotence. He was already ready to ask for them, without fully understanding why.

-Take your time, Rollo….I didn't talk about driving them away. They will remain at Noble Bell College for the time being. But it will take me a few days to discuss with colleagues and the Ministry to arrange everything as necessary. And yet….

Looking at the Director with excitement, Flamme felt that there must be something else.

-You're very worried about them, Rollo. I wouldn't want to burden you with additional responsibilities, considering how hard you work. So I'm just asking, will you agree to look after Yuu when you have a free minute? You can also ask others about it when you're busy.

-Yes, sir! Thank you for your trust in me, and for your kindness!

-Well, well, I'm not heartless enough to kick a lost child out on the street. But remember, I can't promise anything for sure.

-Yes, sir… I understand..

*****

Hah, it's been a long time since I've written so much. Enjoy it!

The name of the NBC Director is the twisted name of the voicing character Archdeacon from the cartoon The Hunchback of Notre Dame

@minkyungseokie @i-dont-fooken-know @melodycelestia @fuckingfaraway @arisdelssy @you-guys-cook-like-old-people-f

@bokkito @elloitsme69 @indecisivewriting @lazythingsdiplomatchick @stupidwingboy @myeagleexpert

[arachnxphobe]

random miguel hcs

will not admit it but he has cried to multiple animated kids movies

definitely the classics like toy story 3, the iron giant, and inside out

but he also BAWLED at the end of finding nemo because he was thinking about gabriella

he thinks that toothless from how to train your dragon is cute

no i will not elaborate on that

secretly celebrates st patrick’s day

likes to wear something green under his suit or have one piece of decor hidden in the depths of his office

has really low spice tolerance BUT really likes it and also he has a reputation to keep up as the big and tough guy so he WILL try and hide how much water he is chugging

he likes the dad ice cream flavours like pistachio and rum raisin

but hates dad hobbies like golfing or collecting stuff like antique coins or dioramas

he just doesn’t have the patience for it

can cook and bake!!!! actually scratch that he can do all of the chores and is basically a househusband but is simply unwilling to do it

peter b may or may not have gotten him a kiss the cook apron that may or may not be the only apron he owns…

he could 100% have gourmet meals every day but he doesn’t have anyone to impress but himself so most days he just lives off of the sealed, pre-cooked chicken breasts from the convenience store and reheated rice that he makes in a big batch once a week

because yes chicken can be store bought but microwaved rice tastes too much like chemicals, especially for his heightened taste buds

is a shower guy

he thinks that baths are too inefficient and most tubs can’t fit him

but if you somehow manage to find one that’s big enough…oh boy he’ll act like you are waterboarding him but honestly he’s having the time of his life

competitive as hell, even when he acts like he could not care less

like he does not understand the concept of letting somebody else win, why is he handicapping himself and letting them think they’re better than they actually are?

he doesn’t mean it in a way to establish dominance or superiority

he just thinks that it’s weird to let someone win because wouldn’t lying to them be worse? now they can’t even improve

designed his own suit and probably gets a little bit self conscious when someone comments on it because he really isn’t an aesthetics guy but he worked really hard and is proud of his suit 🥺

was perhaps a little bit salty about the dark garfield comment but you didn’t hear that from me

please never trust him with naming or decorating though because if left on his own, it’s either going to be the most disgusting combination of items ever known to man or quite literally the bare minimum

don’t even think about a bed frame, there’s a chance that he doesn’t even have a mattress

he’s good with personal hygiene though

a slight germaphobe in the sense that he wants everything to be sterile (a habit he picked up from always being in the lab) but is more than okay with getting his hands dirty, just as long as he can thoroughly sanitize them afterwards

a terrible movie watcher

he either does not understand the movie whatsoever and keeps on asking questions that they just answered a minute ago

or he’s ripping them apart for their weird pseudoscience

honestly his ranting ends up being more entertaining than the movie at times

be prepared for a full lecture if you don’t stop him at some point though

i’ve heard a lot of people throw out spanish songs that they think he would listen to but might i suggest some non-spanish songs

he gives me doja cat vibes, don’t ask me, i just feel it

personally, i don’t think he would actively listen to kpop or be into the fan culture but he probably enjoys some songs without even realizing they’re kpop

i’m thinking newjeans and maybe epik high??

ABBA

mitski and hozier (where are my depressed wlw at) because you know that when he’s in his brooding self hating mood that he needs suitable bgm

HATES cruises

something about being on water does not vibe with his spider-catness

neither does the overall cruise ship experience

hot tubs and buffets just don’t really do it for him

there’s not much space for privacy except for your own room but even then the walls are fairly thin

so it’d be nearly impossible for him to get any sort of peace

me and the rest of the internet all seem to have agreed that he has insomnia and i feel like a cruise ship would not help whatsoever

would complain about how the mexican food is just what americans think mexican food is like

is too much of a workaholic to take an extended break, and it’s too difficult to jump back into work should there be an emergency

[starzzmissthesun]

your honest opinion on Sirius and Regulus black? Oh and your honest opinion on Deamus!

Hiii!!! So if you're talking about them together as brothers I made a post about it here, I go way more into depth about their main traits and how they kind of parrallel each other. But individually, I'll start with Sirius. I love him so much. He such a loser, lol. He's literally the "I wanna be cool and mysterious but I can't stop talking". Maybe this is a bit of a hot take, but I genuinely think he's one of the most patient people, especially out of the marauders. I mean, his family had lots of waiting (time outs, dinners, parties, lectures, tutoring, etc) and he also had a little brother. I think they butt heads a lot, and Sirius would bully reg when they were younger, but he still had to help him and help take care of him. Maybe this is just what I've seen and experienced, but lots of older siblings I've met tend to be very patient, no matter the age gap. Hes incredibly smart in a breezy way, but still works for it. He attentive and conscientious, he always has perked ears and works hard to do stuff the right way. Hes LOYAL all the way‼️like too loyal, it's his fatal flaw. Love him always!

Regulus, also one of the faves. I think I love him a lot because he's such a conflicted character. I believe his main trait is obsession and devotion(which I go in depth about in the other post), and that's why I think he got SO into the DE beliefs and Voldemort. He grew up being told these beliefs and just spun out of control with them. Regulus was so ambitious and a perfectionist (to me), everything he did he had to do it all the way. He had strong beliefs, he threw himself headfirst into the war doing dark horrible stuff as a young teen. Once he doubted those beliefs and saw that Voldemort wasn't all he was made out to be, he went on his suicide mission. I also believe him and Sirius are opposite in what they find interest in, while Sirius wants everything completely unlike what he's seen before, Regulus wants everything similar. He sees things like himself and his family and what's more and more. He is ultimately a Black. He is comfortable with what he knows, while Sirius is uncomfortable with what he knows. I think he is full of shame and guilt integrated into him from childhood, especially towards the end of his short life. (My personal hc is that he's got ocd, so if anyone wants to hear about it lmk)

And deamus!!!!!! God I love them so much, being honest I haven't heard much of them in the past years cause I'm not in the main hp universe fandom anymore, but they were MY THING about 4-5years ago. They're very near and dear to me. I might have to check back in with the main hp fandom soon now that you've mentioned them... Probably an 8.5/10 not higher purely cause I don't remember enough about them😭but (best) friends to lovers will always and forever be a win. (Also they ARE canon in my mind)

[fastcardotmp3]

Oh would you so kindly expand on your Murray/that plotline™ thoughts? Btw I didn't remember it as a cheating situation but since it's been so long since watching that season i was taking other people's word for it. And yeah i don't think Murray did anything even if it was. like he didn't make them have sex.

I started to type out an answer to this ask, forgot to save it as a draft, and lost all of my thoughts, so apologies if this is a little disjointed but! I will do my best to give my thoughts coherently <3

I really do think the Murray thing is maybe a mischaracterization of his intentions, but also not the thing I care most about when it comes to narratives that deal with Steve/Nancy/Jonathan situation in season 2, because at the end of the day it's just another reframing of the same tired take tbh

I'll stick it under the cut though because I know I can be wordy

There's this, like, company line in this fandom that Steve and Nancy were just two teenagers who hurt each other, which I one hundred percent agree with, only that tends to be the company line everywhere except for the Steve-centric fics that get written about that plotline, which instead seem to frequently make an argument that "Nancy cheated on Steve, was cruel enough to cause long-term emotional damage, and then either is forced to grovel for forgiveness or be shut out of his and his friends' lives forever" which is. Not that. Right?

Fandom cultures at large, not just this one, are more willing to do empathetic, in-depth character analysis of male characters than they are female. This is something we know to be true and this is something that is noticable in how Nancy gets treated by fanon, especially when it comes to her relationship with Steve.

Because here's the thing, we could debate it all day (and I won't, for the record, if anyone's thinking about starting a fight) but for my part, what she did wasn't cheating. From the very first time I watched season 2 when it was released, I always read the Halloween fight and the morning after as a breakup.

HOWEVER, even if Nancy did cheat on Steve? It doesn't warrant the downright malicious Nancy characterizations that often feel ubiquitous to this fandom.

Even if Nancy did cheat, there is a refusal to look at the situation from her point of view, something which even Steve is canonically able to do by the end of season 2 (we'll get to that). Because there's more nuance here to take into account than just Nancy making a choice to specifically hurt or break Steve and there's more nuance here than Steve being incapable of moving on from this breakup.

In fact, if you really look at the choices both of them are making, it has very little to do with each other and everything to do with their own reactions to immense personal trauma and grief. Nancy has spent a year suppressing a mourning she's not allowed to experience out loud, and you expect her not to snap eventually?

Does personal hardship mean cheating is, like, a good thing (if that's the takeaway you're going with from canon)? No. Does it still wildly differ from the cruel and intentionally malicious version of Nancy that shows up in far too much fic? Yeah.

She's a teenage girl whose best friend died in a violent and preventable way at sixteen years old. Nancy tried to fit herself into Steve's coping strategies, tried to let it all go back to normal, and was visibly hurting in the process. She sought out comfort. Understanding. A chance to be heard.

It's a disservice to both of their characters to treat this like there's a "good" and "bad" guy, when the way they handle it in canon, the way Steve comes to terms with it (literally within days he is telling her to go with Jonathan, by the way), is all vitally important to their growth.

When Steve says "I may not be a very good boyfriend" that's not about him being down on himself or having low self worth, it's a moment of growth and self reflection/ awareness for him to acknowledge that in his efforts to make himself feel better, he also hurt Nancy. It's about him no longer being in the same bitter headspace of "what am I apologizing for?" that he was at the start of the season, and having the maturity to see that they don't work as they are at their current mental states, no matter how heartbreaking that may be for him.

And Nancy choosing to go with Jonathan is really just a continuation of everything she was doing in trying to get justice for Barb-- she's choosing to follow her heart after being trapped away from acknowledging it for so long.

In other words, not only does he not have reason to, but Steve doesn't hate Nancy, Steve doesn't hold a lifelong grudge against Nancy, Steve doesn't think Nancy is a cruel and unfeeling bitch, but fic authors sure seem to.

If it were just a handful of fics here or there, I wouldn't be so adamant about it, but it's such an ingrained narrative in this fandom that sometimes I think people have genuinely forgotten the canon context.

Don't strip them of their agency and everything they learn from getting together and falling apart by making Steve less emotionally competent and Nancy more borderline abusive than either of them are.

It's boring and it's sexist and it shouldn't be the norm.

but that's just my 2 and a half cents peace and love anon, hope this answered your question <3

[honeybewrites]

Hello HoneyBe! 👋✨

I heard you love to talk about magic systems. Can you talk a bit about the ones in both EoWC and LotA? How are they the same/similar? How are they different? Which characters use magic the most, and what are their motives with the magic?

Extra kudos for you, for being genuinely sweet and supporting writers in the community ♥️

This is my literal reaction to this ask! Thank you @the-golden-comet so much!!! I needed a little pick up when I received this the other day, and it really helped <3!!

I need very little motivation to ramble about my world building, especially my magic system! I've done an intro post for my magic system here if anyone is interested! For this though, I'm going in depth on how my characters use their magic personally/motives and the similarities/differences in EoWC and LotA's magic.

This is a long post, so kind of sorry in advance 😂

SO! Let's start with the similarities and differences.

Little bit of background; EoWC and LotA take place in the same world, but at different points in history. Like Star Wars with the original trilogy and prequels. In this case, EoWC is the original series and LotA the prequels, with a much larger time difference than Star Wars haha

Due to that, LotA has a much more complex, powerful, and kind of experimental and also knowledgeable system. I know that's contradictory, but bare with me. Elemental (my magic) was much more abundant and widely practiced. This lead to more people adopting the fuck around and find out philosophy as well as more scholarly people writing things down that became general knowledge and practice. There weren't many big name schools that taught elemental, but that was more due to the fact that parents would teach their kids and it was covered in basic school as well.

LotA has a lot more elemental used, both in everyday life and for things like combat. A person is just as likely to use elemental to boil water as they are to throw a boulder in your face.

During the time of LotA, large elemental casts were much more common. A combination of teaching, skill, and more energy all contributed to that. Feats of parting oceans, lifting islands into the sky, even leveling cities with massive energy serges were recorded during that time. they weren't common feats, but they weren't rare either.

As for EoWC, elemental is seen more as a privilege to learn, not something everyone is able to do. Sure, everyone still has the ability to use elemental, but most people don't, simply because they were never taught. Now, elemental is reserved for government/military uses, a few select professions, and for the rich people who can pay to learn it.

People grew accustomed to using other means, such as technology, for their elemental needs. Honestly, the average person doesn't really have a need to use elemental anymore with all the technological advancements. So to know any kind of elemental, you're already ahead and if you're proficient in it, it can get you a lot of place. And it can also get you quite a bit of prejudice.

Because all the rich people can learn elemental, knowing any kind of elemental is pretty much just announcing that you're well off and people see it as showing off and unnecessary.

And since elemental has quickly declined in being practiced, it's affected the different species biology. So, for example, the average Mirralian from LotA times is on par with a professionally trained Mirralian from EoWC. Now this isn't the case for all species. Tanimoriem and Levekints are two examples where biology has declined much slower and they can still preform larger casts with some ease. But things like leveling towns is completely unheard of, if at all possible.

To sum it up; the basics of elemental stay the same, e.g. how casts work, what elemental species use, but the power levels, accessibility, and knowledge are different.

Now what I'm really dying to talk about, my characters and their relation to magic/elemental!!

Let's start with LotA. All three major characters (or at least the major ones I've talk about) use elemental pretty much daily. Ryuk, who mostly uses elemental for combat, transportation, and everyday ease. Emaeh who also uses it for combat but also for healing, every day ease, and learning. And Vern who pretty much exclusively uses elemental for personal everyday ease and healing. To them, it's just a part of their every day lives. You don't really have a motive to use a car other than easier transportation. It's simply a tool and they use it whenever they can. They certainly use it far more than anyone in EoWC.

Obviously, there are people during LotA who use elemental for more... inconvenient and questionable means, but that's going to exist anywhere.

As for EoWC, most of the main cast do use elemental, but it's much less frequent. 703 for example, uses it mostly for combat or mission related things. You won't catch her using it to lift something heavy instead of carrying it or to warm up when she's not on a mission. As does pretty much the entire EoWC cast. Rage is a slight exception to this, as he uses elemental to "see" (I talked about that here) as well as for his healing job. In that sense, Rage definitely uses elemental the most.

Unlike the rest of them, 703 is nearly as powerful as LotA Tanimoriem. This is due to Healer Asurr messing with her biology and she's actually considered one of, if not the, most powerful elementist in the Seven Realms during EoWC.

Most people during EoWC have more questionable or violent motivations to use elemental. Especially considering it's used primarily in the government and military.

Anyway, sorry for the long post! Posting on here is the only time I get to talk about my WIPs and I've had them for years, so a lot of built up information haha! And thanks for reading through!! Hope you enjoyed it 💚

Also, slapping my tag list on this because it's fun and I love lore dumping onto you guys!

General Tag List: @orions-quill @fractured-shield @pluppsauthor @anaisbebe @wyked-ao3

[givehimthemedicine]

I'm gonna say something that might make elmax tumblr mad at me but:

as much as El and Max are besties in the sense of the nonexclusive title, I can't honestly say I think they're mutual best friends in the sense of literal #1 ranking of emotional closeness.

Max becomes El's best friend within the same hour that they meaningfully interact, surpassing Mike by miles. no contest. but I think Max's best friend is still Lucas.

Max doesn't really share emotionally with El. she's a brand new friend and doesn't really have the, what do I want to say, life experience? to become Max's go-to confidant right away, which is a pretty major pillar of emotionally close friendship. El is so new to normal human relationships and regular life across the board. she would listen and care if Max confided in her, undoubtedly, but someone to whom you'd have to pause and explain and define aspects of what you just said honestly isn't going to be your #1 choice when you're upset and just want to vent and be understood. there's definitely no lack of emotional intelligence or anything like that from El, she's just not the easiest one to communicate with.

El actually COULD understand Max a lot better than Max might expect - and vice versa - but since neither of them really tells the other anything about themselves (at least not onscreen), they don't know just how much they can relate to each other yet.

what little sharing Max has done with El has been mostly in brief unintentional(?) inferences that El didn't engage with ("happy screams" being a troubling insight into her home life, etc). and I see extremely little evidence that El has ever told Max or anyone else much about the lab.

their friendship in s3 is more about being kids and having fun together (which is not something shallow! they both need that so badly) and they have more of a mentor-mentee relationship in some ways. just when their friendship could be getting deep, they get separated which is horribly unfortunate.

I don't mean to paint Max as the giver and El as the taker - they're different things to each other. Max drops everything and immediately offers advice, friendship, and warmth to a girl who's previously been rude to her for no reason, expecting no apology and asking nothing in return. but El spends season 3 body-shielding Max from monsters, is there to hold Max when Billy dies, and moves mountains unasked to find/protect/save Max in 4. she is very much there for Max emotionally, just verbal/written communication isn't her strong suit, and that's especially hard in a long distance friendship where that's the only way you can communicate.

Lucas, on the other hand. he has the distinction of being the first person to make her feel accepted in an unfamiliar town, her first true friend in Hawkins or possibly ever, and I don't think that's overwritten by one shopping spree.

Max really opened up quite soon to Lucas considering her trust issues in season 2 and he made it a very positive experience for her. not much of substance happened between them in 3 but in 4, their relationship seems to have its greatest emotional depth ever despite being broken up, and she voiced her literal deepest darkest secrets and suicidal ideations in front of him. (El heard it too, but Max didn't actually consent to that, although I imagine she would have). Henry used Lucas for a vision, knowing her fears would hurt the worst coming from Lucas's mouth. Lucas is the first person Max mentioned she had already looked for when she went to Dustin's house to talk about what she saw, and that was before their reconciliation.

but now here's something to offend lumax tumblr as well: I don't think Max has been Lucas's best friend at any point so far.

am I forgetting a time he's told her anything about himself? a time she's complimented him? I can't think of a topic he's discussed seriously with her that didn't pertain to Max herself, their relationship, or upside down stuff. his best friend is still within the party - Mike or Will I bet.

I could absolutely see Lucas finding Max daunting to open up to, even before her depression in 4. the way she treats him in 3 doesn't give me the sense there's a whole lot of sharing or validation going on for Lucas. I'm not saying she's a bad girlfriend to him, but I am saying she must make him feel a lot less emotionally cared for than he does her, unless he's extremely aware that they have very different ways of showing love. Max really is nice and definitely would listen and care if he shared seriously (and she has shown him that, just not often or recently), but she definitely has an exterior you have to get past first and I wonder how much he tries to do that.

I assume their friendship/relationship had to have had more depth than what we actually saw onscreen but I feel like Lucas lets his feelings be easily swept under the rug when it comes to Max vs the boys. the "the lady is never wrong" policy he learns from his father may keep the peace, but it isn't healthy for the long term. and this may be a subset of that, but I think Lucas prioritizes Max's hardships above his own (that's gonna be huge for him in 5 and beyond - he got traumatized by what happened to Max too, but he won't be inclined to seek validation of that especially not from her).

while they both absolutely care and empathize, Max and Lucas's backgrounds and struggles aren't ones that each other can personally relate to much. Max doesn't know what it's like to get bullied for being black and Lucas doesn't know what it's like to grow up in a poor, broken, abusive home.

but while their childhoods looked drastically different too, El and Max actually could relate to a lot about each others' pasts. El wouldn't know much about being a child of divorce, but can relate to having an abusive big brother, to wanting to escape, to major trust issues and craving love, to refusing to grow up to be what her abusers want her to be. Max doesn't know what it's like to grow up in a lab, but she can relate to being a little girl unsafe in her own home, to having a hard-learned no snitching policy, to living with a bad man she's supposed to call dad whose abuse causes her sibling to abuse her in turn, to refusing to repeat that cycle.

El and Max have potential to have an incredibly deeply understanding mutual best friendship, and I think they will once they get a chance to spend some time together, process what just happened in 4, and open up to each other about more.

simply aging and maturing will contribute to this as well but I think what Max has learned in 4 will make her more emotionally available with Lucas (disregarding that in reality she'd probably close off more than ever after 4 but it's the last season and we don't have time for that) in fact she was already starting to open up to him more just before she died. I hope they don't rush the relationship aspect of lumax because their friendship is sososo important and deserves its own attention tbh. I want to see some mutual emotional sharing between them where Lucas's trauma isn't sidelined.

also El and Lucas, the combination with I'd say the least in common, absolutely must do some massive bonding over Max. I want the two who were slowest to warm up to each other as kids to be absolutely ride or die. the brot3 potential is there I just need everyone to communicate!

tl;dr: Max is El's best friend but El isn't Max's best friend, and Lucas is Max's best friend but Max isn't Lucas's best friend

[ghost-proofbaby]

WIP word game

rules: you will be given a word. share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

this game literally had me bouncing in my seat!!! thank you so much to @the-unforgivenn and @hellfire--cult for the tags!!! i'm gonna knock both out on the same post here (also both your words are delicious)

my words are: BITE and PRESSURE

possible spoilers for so mordor it is, so scarlet (it was maroon), and the moon will sing (i loved you like the sun) below the read more <3

also for this game, i'm not entirely sure who's already been tagged and who hasn't, so i'm just gonna tag anyone i think would enjoy this! also tagging up here so there's no pressure to scroll all the way through my snippets if you don't want to haha

no pressure tags: @corroded-hellfire @jo-harrington @andvys @take-everything-you-can @littlesubbyflower @eddiesxangel and honestly anyone else who wants to take a go at this!! <3

your word (if you wanna join) is: HAUNT.

But the girl deserves her honesty, and so she whispers, “I thought it was just PTSD.” 

Something about it is easy – there’s a relief when the whispers of truth trickle a bit louder, rising until Willow finally pours out everything that only one other person could possibly understand. Steve wouldn’t understand, Robin couldn’t possibly understand, Eddie would only try desperately to understand – but Max? Max gets it. Max doesn’t look at her like she’s crazy when words fall from her lips about the nightmares, sparing as many details as possible while still communicating the point.

...

“I don’t understand why the front cover of some stupid ass magazine is so important,” Eddie grumbles as he follows you now, both of you deciding to stand and not yet sit in the empty chairs on the closest side of what must be Matt’s massive desk, “The tabloids run rumors about my dating life all the time-”

“Exactly.”

...

There’s no more quick remarks for her to add. With his unnecessary permission and subtle reassurance of his protection, she’s taking off around the wall of shrubbery, heart pounding out of her chest. 

I don’t have my weapons.

...

Even after all that the two of you have been through, you can’t resist that inherent urge to protect him. 

You can’t quiet the voice that whispers that you still care for him, and you still want to be there for him, even at your own destruction. 

Paler knuckles, tightening fist. The invisible leash is practically choking Wyll now.

...

Really, after Astarion’s feasting on her, she may be more magic than blood at this moment.

And that magic serves as a security blanket, a layer of armor to hopefully replace all the physical leather she’s left behind on the beach, as she hears the sound of an unfamiliar woman in camp.

...

Eddie had kept you a secret. 

Especially now that I know the truth.

Or spun you into a blatant lie. You don’t know which one is worse.

...

She’d tore her way through the process of grief in record time. She’d clawed herself out of those depths in order to be there for her mom, to return to being a daughter worthy of having survived that night with Parker. Nightmares, the gnawing hole in her chest, the way she still couldn’t meet her mom’s gaze when Parker became a topic of conversation – that was just residual shock waves. They would pass one day. These symptoms would pass one day. She had been so sure of it. 

...

She knows somewhere in the shadows, Astarion’s daggers have been drawn. 

“You’ve caused quite the commotion amongst gods and devils alike, if I’ve heard correctly from the whispers of the Hells.”

Time stops. Aruna’s blood freezes. All the magic dies beneath her skin, right along with the air in her lungs.

...

Until the space behind your eyes aches. “The headline went viral online, right?”

“Yeah,” guilt seeps into Matt’s words, “It did.” 

“Have they figured out who I am?” 

...

“Room. Now.” 

Of course, you don’t. 

The game was never one-sided. It was never you, a merciful victim of Astarion, always trapped in his shadows. It’s a game for two – and you’ve earned your blame in it all, the same as Astarion. 

...

Eddie scoffs as he shifts uncomfortably, “Maybe I’m just inspired.” 

“I’m sure you are,” Matt readily agrees, “By her.” 

what have we learned, you ask? that i do not like starting sentences with the letter R, apparently.

[system-of-a-feather]

On Anger, Trauma and Recovery

I just got done piecing together a clearer image of an issue I've been struggling to paint a complete picture of and therapy had me talking about my relationship and shit with emotions and it got me thinking now about my relationship with my specific longest term and old favorite emotion - anger / annoyance and here is the thing about it.

Anger is not inherently evil, bad, or destructive. It's actually incredibly productive when handled right and it stems from a sense of self love / love and the knowledge that you or the thing you are angry for deserve better than what is being given; that something feels unfair and needs aren't being met and the feeling of anger is the driving force to right those wrongs. It is inherently a defensive and healing function and feeling, so it is incredibly important to not only accept and embrace your anger, but to hear it out entirely.

The issue with anger that then comes though is that often - when people are disordered or traumatized - a lot of the time this anger is un-honed, un-polished, directed openly, and handled with limited depth, internal personal understanding, and and insight to exactly what the anger is, where it is coming from, and why it is appearing the way it does. And that isn't to shun or say anyone is 'less than or bad' - anger is one of the most intense emotions for a lot of people and considering it is a back up response to feeling imposed upon, threatened, or taken advantage of it is very very easy to get caught up in a fight-flight that makes it hard to sit down and clearly listen to your anger. It's a hard skill to learn, and one I've been developing for a while.

But great strength, power, and maturity comes from being able to learn to not only hold, embrace, and take pride in your anger, but to also listen deeply to it, understand what it is trying to tell you, and polishing that anger into a blade to carve out the life you and those you care about deserve.

And so this might not apply to everyone because these are some notes from my own personal journey and effort in learning to understand how to listen to my anger better (and in this case, I mean literally MY anger, but it can apply to your local 'angry' part). I'm mainly sharing this cause I don't think I've seen any good posts or resources on a more structured way to approach anger that didn't sound like "uwu your anger is valid uwu" which I think turns off so many "angry" people / parts

Step 1: Learn to become aware and notice when and why you are angry; then learn to become okay with sitting with that anger and postponing the urge to do anything in the immediate response to it. Just sit with it and feel it, interact with it, think about it - but don't do anything to 'solve' the anger.

Tips: Try to find something that you can non-verbally and/or independently express through - music, art, venting to your pet, even exercise / martial arts if you can maintain connection with your anger. These sorts of things can help ease the urge to have to do something about it that tends to limit and end the "listening" portion and impedes in deeper understanding to it

Step 2: Once comfortable with sitting with anger, when you notice your anger, try to find a way to set some time aside to comfortably interact with yourself on the topic that makes you angry. Get some music that helps you think to yourself in a more open ended free flowing manner, lay down on a comfy bed, get some tea, set the vibes well and look the anger 'in the eyes' so to say and ask away.

Tips: Ask yourself why does [thing] make you mad? What is wrong with it? What do you feel like is unfair and needs to be changed? What need is being ignored / not met? Who / what is not being heard? What exactly is your anger upset about? Try to polish away the specific names and people of the immediate situation and try to understand the core fundamental needs of yourself. Is something about the situation making you feel not seen? Do you feel like your needs are going unnoticed? Do you feel like you are not being included? Do you not feel like you were given a fair chance? Why is this situation triggering such a feeling? Does this stem from a feeling in the past? Try to understand the deep connections threads that come together to make you feel this way.

Step 3: Once you get a feeling that you understand where this anger comes from (often in my experience it clicks with a but of an "ah, okay" feeling) resurvey your current situation. Compare your findings of what the meat of your anger is and what it wants changed to what your situation is. See then where you can best give your anger what it needs and what it wants to start to right the wrongs that it is feeling in a compassionate way to your anger / yourself. You may not be able to go to the extent that you wish, but the very least you can start to give your anger what it needs to be as intense and as aggressive.

Your anger doesn't deserve to have to be so loudly angry just to be heard.

Your anger should be able to show itself to you and for you to be able to hear it out and meet it's needs.

As a general skill of this is built anger doesn't leave and it doesn't become less present - because anger is important, anger is your friend and it's kept you alive and motivated you to love and stand up for yourself - but the built better relationship and ability to listen to said anger in a compassionate manner can become incredibly productive both in healing yourself and minimizing the damage of "anger issues", but also in fixing the environment around you that may be worsening your mental health and overall quality of life.