#but i will make an exception if it is very funny

[bacchuschucklefuck]

space sweepers but they're delivery people and are at no point on screen through the entire movie

[borathae]

↳ Index [Snippet #50 - Roundie]

"When Jungkook accidentally gives himself a bowl cut."

Genre: Slice of Life, Fluff

Warnings: just Kookie being the cutest and roundest, she teases him for messing up his haircut, and he playfully bites her cheek for it, they're so in love, snuggles and kisses hihi

Wordcount: 1.3k

a/n: i don't have to mention what i was inspired by LIKE he is so cute you have no idea i love him so much it's actually insane :( this is also something that ogc!googie would do so i wanted to be self-indulgent and write it ihihiih <3 have fun besties 🧡

“No!” 

You heard your husband exclaim this one small word around twenty minutes ago and haven't heard a word from him since. Only the blow dryer, which has been running the last few minutes, can be heard.

You and Jungkook are on a romantic holiday in Japan because the land is especially nice this time around to explore by motorbike. You are currently staying in an Airbnb somewhere in the Japanese mountains. The architecture and furniture is traditional with a hint of modern and the house offers a small private spa area. You and Jungkook have already enjoyed it earlier today, but decided to call it quits for now. You currently find yourself on the sofa in your pyjamas, relaxing with a good book and a cup of tea, while your husband locked himself up in the bathroom. 

Except for his very enthusiastic and shocked “No!” you haven’t heard from him. That changes however right this instant when the blow dryer stops and the door unlocks. 

“Baby?” 

“Yes, Kook?”

You can’t see him yet, talking louder to make up for the distance. Judging from his voice coming closer, he is walking to you. 

“So, remember how I told you that my hair is getting too long?” 

You set down your book.

“What did you do?” 

“Okay so, hah, funny story. So okay, you know how we met when we were both nineteen, yeah?” 

“Yes?” 

“Okay cool and I looked really sexy and handsome and mature?” 

“Thinking back, you still looked very boyish back then, but I guess yeah you did. Why? What did you do?” 

“Did you ever wonder what I looked like when I was fifteen?” 

“Jeon Jungkook stop the riddles, what did you do?”

He crosses the corner, appearing in your vision. You instantly crack up, coughing out laughter and pointing your finger at him. He gave himself the roundest and cutest bowl cut ever, looking like a teen with it. 

“What did you do? Baby, oh my god”, you laugh loudly.

“I cut the bangs too short. I tried to save them by cutting the sides, but then I had to match the back too and I gave myself a bowl cut.”

“You look so adorable, I can’t believe it”, you say, stumbling to your feet so you can run to him and touch his hair, “you have the roundest head ever. You’re basically a circle.”

“I’m not a circle. Baby”, he whines and pouts.

You snicker, fluffing up his sides. They instantly fall back into their natural bowl cut state.

“I can’t believe it, you turned yourself into a boba ball. God, look at you. It’s like you aged backwards.”

“It’s the same stupid hairstyle I had in middle school. Baby, please tell me I’m handsome, I’m a sad doofus right now.”

“You’re the most handsome circle ever.”

He nudges you gently, furrowing his brows.

“Shut up, you’re not helping.”

You cackle, now fumbling with his bangs. 

“Of course you’re handsome, my sweetie. I’ve never seen you with your hair like this before, I love it a lot”, you say and tug on his bangs softly. They instantly bounce back into their bowl cut state, reflecting the lights from just how shiny and round his hair is. You snicker, “god it’s so cute. You’re adorable.”

“I'm neither cute nor adorable. I’m manly and sexy. Urgh, I ruined myself.” He whines and drops his head on your Shoulder. “I'll accept it if you divorce me now.”

“Divorce-ha!” You laugh loudly, giving his butt a playful spank, “you dramatic baby, you. I already told you that I love it. You’re very handsome and of course, very manly and sexy.”

He lifts his head, giving you a small grin. 

“But…also very cute and adorable.”

He furrows his brows, opening his mouth.

You instantly silence him, “which is a good thing because it means I wanna cuddle you even more often.”

“Wait. This is a good thing”, he says, making you chuckle.

“It is. Gosh you, let me take a picture. You’re so adorable.” 

“If you must.”

Despite his initial complaints, Jungkook ends up posing with pouted lips and his hand throwing up a peace sign. It’s his signature pose he does in pictures and he looks very adorable tonight. You giggle at the picture, putting it as your lock screen. You show it to him.

“Look, now when someone asks me about you, I can tell them I’m married to a roundie.” 

“You”, Jungkook points his finger at you. “Stop it.” 

You cackle. 

His features soften, a warm smile washes over his face. He gives up with a fond scoff and a little chuckle, closing the distance by grabbing your waist and pulling you snug against him. You and he sway from side to side, looking deeply into each other’s eyes. You have your arms hooked behind his head.

“You’re lucky that you’re so cute, otherwise I would have to bite your cheeks for your annoying antics”, he says.

“Mhm bite my cheeks you say? Ohoho mister what a thread, especially coming from a life sized choco ball such as yourself.”

“Yah”, he complains and gives your buttocks a squeeze. 

“Sorry, sorry last one I promise. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself”, you snicker, rubbing his neck in apology. 

Jungkook chuckles, rubbing his hands over your buttocks innocently. 

“It’s insane how good it fits you. Up close, you can really tell that you fucked it up, but it looks so good on you that it’s not even bad that you fucked it up.” 

“Is it really bad?”

“No, not at all. Your bangs are a little choppy, but it’s cute. Very handsome. Gosh”, you squish his cheeks, “your eyes look even prettier with this hair. It’s like they’re supporting each other’s roundieness. You’re seriously so handsome.” 

Jungkook smiles shyly, “thanks, heh. Roundieness isn’t even a word by the way.”

“It is now.” 

Jungkook simply furrows his brows and goes in for the attack. He bites your cheek. Gently of course. 

“Yah”, you step back, wiping the saliva from your skin. 

“I warned you and you wouldn’t listen. Consequences of your own actions, missy.”

“Don’t talk to me about consequences of my own actions, Mister Accidental Bowl Cut Which Aged Him Back Decades.”

Jungkook laughs and hugs your waist. You chuckle.

“Come on you, let’s go to bed and cuddle.”

“Yay cuddles. I swear today drained me. I almost fell asleep in the hot spring.” 

“Baby, you fell asleep. I had to hold your head so you wouldn’t accidentally drown.”

“I guess I did. I couldn’t help it. It was warm and cozy. I felt very relaxed.”

You and he get under the same blanket. He lies down on his side, you face him. His bangs fall to one side, now looking like those typical two thousand tens bangs every teenage boy had back then. 

You play with them, eyes spilling over with love.

“If I had met you back then, I so would have had a crush on you.”

“Really?”

“Mhm totally. You would have been my type. You are my type, but you get what I mean.”

“I do, yeah.” He smiles and reaches out to play with your hair. “You would have been my type too. Your mom showed me pictures of you when you were a teen and I would have had such a crush on you back then.”

“Oh god”, you chuckle, “I was such a mess though. Did she show you the pic of my clip in leopard print hair strands I rocked with black eyeliner?” 

“Of course she did. You totally rocked them.”

“No I didn't, I looked ridiculous.”

“At least you didn’t look like a circle.”

You laugh, “mhm maybe, but you’re the most handsome circle I have ever seen”, you say, pushing him to his back and climbing on his lap.

Jungkook holds your hips instantly, purring his words as he gazes at your lips.

“Yeah? I’m a handsome circle?”

“Mhhm the most handsome.”

“Hah, come and kiss me, baby.”

You smile, he smiles, sharing a breathy chuckle and little moan with you.

“Kiss me, please.”

“Fuck Kook, I can’t get enough of you”, you say and pull him into a deep kiss. 

[yuurei20]

I heard from someone that Azul is actually very strong although he's not very athletic because he's an octo merman he's mostly muscle they said that Floyd has talked about it in bean fest I wanted to know if Azul being insanely strong was just a headcannon or cannon cause its kinda funny to me azul could carry professor vargas that one event on his own when prof vargas is pure muscle

Hello hello! Thank you for this question! 🐙

Yes yes! The first information we receive about Azul being stronger than he looks is from Floyd during Beanfest, who explains,

"Who said anything about Azul bein' weak without his magic? He's real strong. He's slow on land and in water, and he's got lousy athletic reflexes, but that doesn't mean he's weak."

"Azul's bigger than me in the water, and he's got eight huge, heavy limbs. His submission holds are bad news, and he's got crazy grip strength. If he so much as snags you, he can snare you with your arms pinned.

Octopi are, like, all muscle. Seems to me like that wouldn't go poof just 'cause he took a potion to turn himself human.

I'm just spitballin' here, obviously. But all I'm saying is that writing Azul off is a bad idea."

(All of the above dialogue is 100% accurate to the original game! Floyd's "I'm just spitballin' here" line might make it seems like he is just guessing and doesn't actually know, but his original line is closer to, "I don't know all the details," and sounds more like he knows this information is fact, he just can't give a physiology lesson on how it all works.)

But Floyd's information is a little vague: he says Azul has "crazy grip strength" and his "submission holds are bad news," but that is the same line where he talks about Azul in his merform--so is he talking about mer-Azul or human-Azul? Or is he not making a distinction because there isn't one?

Can Azul snare people and pin them down on land, or was Floyd half-relating an anecdote from when they lived underwater?

But then came Book 6 and a line from Azul himself saying that his "arms are quite powerful," unlike Riddle's.

This seems to confirm that Azul is physically stronger than most people, but then comes the thunder spear:

Riddle asks for help lifting it and Azul struggles under its weight, despite how this would have been the ideal opportunity to illustrate how physically capable Azul really is.

But maybe the thunder spears are a tall order for anyone to lift? They're weapons from the age of the gods--maybe they just weren't designed for humans (or creatures in human form) to lift on their own?

Except:

There is Leona, who both lifts and wields the thunder spear entirely on his own, twice (he gets help from Jamil the third time).

But the rules of the thunder spears are unclear: after Team-OctaHearts' spear goes into energy-saving mode Riddle says, "I should be able to handle it now on my own," insinuating that when they are not in attack-mode they are easier to wield.

Azul carries it at first but, due to his infamously poor stamina, he does eventually give it up to Riddle.

When Azul comments on how easy RIddle makes carrying the spear look Riddle explains, "I spend most of my time learning magic. I have ever since I was born," insinuating that he is using a form of magic (perhaps levitation) to carry it and maybe does not have it physically in his arms at all.

(Vil explains that the spears are difficult to control in attack-mode due to the amount of energy they give off.)

And that asks questions about levitation that I have always wondered about!

During Glorious Masquerade Epel is only capable of carrying one crate of apples at a time.

When Malleus levitates an entire apple truck Epel comments, "I'm pretty sure only Malleus could pull off a feat like that…"

Are levitation and physical strength connected? Malleus says that he is physically stronger than humans even without his magic, so he does not serve as a good example.

Is Epel only capable of levitating one crate of apples because that is the limit of what he would be able to accomplish physically? Or do his magical limitations mirror his physical limitations by coincidence?

We know that Leona is extremely powerful (re: Leona's Power). Is Leona both physically stronger than an octopus mermaid and magically stronger than Azul, or is Azul physically stronger than Leona, but his magic wasn't enough for the spear?

And then there is the fact that Azul is, magically, extremely strong:

Jade comments that Azul's unique magic is too strong for even him to control (which is why he designed the golden contracts--to artificially rein himself in). Does that apply to all of Azul's magic, or is it just his UM?

Someone with the muscle of an octopus and a magic too strong to be wielded by its own user seems like they should be able to control a thunder spear on their own--but maybe Leona is just that strong? 🦁

To the original question:

Yes! It is canon that Floyd has said that Azul is insanely strong, and Azul himself has repeated it, but--

edit:

Ahhh thank you very much to the anonymous asker who mentioned Azul's Tapis Rouge vignette! 🥳 In-game example of Azul flexing his physical strength!!📝

And thank you to @basuralindo for the reference to Azul prying Stitch off of the prefect! 🐙 (Azul: "You might've thwarted my efforts entirely if we hadn't been underwater.")

And thank you again to @basuralindo and @mellosdrawings for the Vargas Camp references!! 📝

In a vignette we have Azul volunteering to carry a load of wood for Kalim. He pretends to be struggling under the weight in order to leave a lasting impression of his efforts, but as we cannot tell how much wood there is that he is hauling it can be difficult to tell how heavy it truly is--but then there is Vargas👀

At Trey's request, Jade and Azul are assigned the task of evacuating a bound Grim and Vargas from the mine. Jade takes Grim and runs away, leaving Azul behind alone with the prefect to handle Vargas--did he know that Azul would not struggle with carrying him?💪

Azul does ask for the prefect's help, but only because he is worried about bumping Vargas' head against the rocks--he does not say anything about struggling to carry him!

And this sounds very similar to a comment from Malleus on carrying Idia and Azul through the narrow stairwells of the bell tower during Glorious Masquerade! 🐉🐙

[theroundbartable]

I love that we collectively decided that Merlin's nickname is Merls.

Like, how would that even happen? I doubt Arthur calls him that. Arthur calls him Merlin like he calls Gwen Guinevere.

So, I'm thinking like, what if Arthur overheard Gwaine say Merls (of course it's Gwaine) and hears Merlin giggle adorably at it. So he thinks 'maybe I should try that too.'

There is an awkward phase when Arthur just - can't say it. He stops saying Merlins name entirely for a couple days only, except for when he has to call him from afar and there he has to use the full name because he's too embarrassed to use something so fond in public.

So, one day, they are just in Arthur's room and Arthur hypes himself up like, NOW!: "Could you go and ask Geoffrey for that book I asked him for yesterday? Thanks, Merls."

Merlin freezes.

Arthur is sporting a slight flush but doesn't acknowledge it.

Merlin stares at him. "What did you just call me?" He doesn't giggle or flush like he did with Gwaine.

Arthur panics. "Is that not what they call you now? I thought it was a thing now." Which it was. It caught on.

Merlin glares at him. "Har har, very funny. You don't have to be so rude about it!" And then he stomps off, leaving Arthur completely irritated behind.

...

Several days later, Arthur has talked to Guinevere, to the cook, to servants and overheard Gwaine calling Merlin Merls again.

Arthur is frustrated, so he gives up. "What's wrong with you?"

Merlin doesn't look at him. "Nothings wrong."

"you're mad at me! Why? Because I called you Merls? Everyone calls you that, GWAINE gets to call you that!"

"yeah, but you're not everyone!"

"why, because I'm your boss? I know we can't really be friends but I thought -" Arthur bites his lip.

Oh.

That's what this was about, wasn't it? That he was Merlin's boss and they weren't friends and nothing could change-

"Of course we're friends, you dollophead. You're the only one who thinks we're not." Merlin suddenly softens. "You weren't making fun of me, were you? Were you attempting to get closer to me? Act more like a friend? With a nickname?"

Arthur sputters. "Don't be stupid, Merlin-"

"There. That's it." Merlin grins. "THATs what you call me, Arthur. No one says my name quite like that. So don't try to be something you're not. It's honestly unnerving."

Arthur flushes a little: "and why were you blushing when Gwaine calls you that?"

"That's because -" Arthur realizes too late that he'd just given himself away. But apart from an elevated heartbeat, he can't really regret it. Merlin's face has gone tomato red.

[kings-highway]

haikyuu ships but its ways they said "i love you" before they had the courage to say "i love you."

daisuga: Suga's favourite movie of all time doesn't really mesh with Daichi. He thinks it's confusing and weird, and the gore is way over the top. But Suga loves it, and the comfort it provides, especially when he's sick, so Daichi always watches it with him even if he hates it. "Why do you always agree to this?" Suga asks, as Daichi's settling in to ride out another viewing. "Because it's something you love," he replies, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

iwaoi: Iwaizumi doesn't think he's ever going to convince Oikawa that he's the best setter, or that he's worked hard enough, or that he doesn't need to compare himself to everyone else. But he hates the way Oikawa can't seem to find value in himself outside of some seemingly fickle ranking system in his mind. So when they're fighting, and Oikawa keeps saying that it's just "objective fact" that Tobio is better than him, Iwa has to grab him by the face and tell him: "I won't let you slander things I care about."

ushiten: Tendou had often made the joke about being Ushijima's best friend, because it was funny. All their team, their classmates, always laughed. "He's my bestest bud," Tendou would say, because the whole school knew they made a funny pair, and it was laughable to think Ushijima would ever articulate a sentiment as juvinile as "best friends." Of course, when Ushijima realizes that people find this joke funny, he's very confused. "If it is a matter of not being good enough for you," Ushijima says, because he cannot think of a reason anyone would disparage Tendou, so it must be joke at his own expense, "then I will earn it."

kagehina: Hinata gets injured late in their second year. Its not the worst injury in the world and will heal just fine, but it takes him out of practice for a few weeks at the beginning of summer. He expects Kageyama to forget about him during this time. What good is a spiker who can't jump, can't even practice? But that doesn't happen. Kageyama seems to, if Hinata's not mistaken, dote on him. Carries his stuff, scolds him for not elevating the offended ankle properly, tells him to be careful. "Why are you being so fussy?" hinata asks. "Because I can't stand the idea of you not making a perfect recovery," Kageyama replies. "Who else could keep up with me?"

tsukkiyama: Yamaguchi likes to tease Tsukki over his lack of other friends. "You're too mean, you scare them away!" and "You're gonna have one lonely birthday if the only person who bothers to show up is me!" The last time he said this, though, Tsukki had replied with: "You're enough." and Yamaguchi still hasn't quite gotten over it yet. They celebrate his birthday just the two of them that year.

arankita: Aran came over to help on the farm over spring break. He didn't have to - between you and me, he hated that kind of physical labour anyway - but it was a way to spend a little more time with Kita before they graduated. At the end of the break, Kita surprises him by giving him a key to the house, "for emergencies," just in case. When Aran blusters and tries to ask why, Kita says: "I trust you." Considering Kita has never trusted anything except for himself and his own actions, Aran isn't sure any spoken sentiment could have meant more in that moment.

[damnfandomproblems]

Responding to 3 anons in #5796

"I agree with this tbh. Like adults are the ones making things unsafe for minors in fandom spaces. YOU are the ones who approach minors unprompted. Minors are just minding their own business in fandom, then you all come along and bother everyone."

Predators that are adults are not synonymous with all adults in fandom. It's not the fault of the vast majority of fandom that kids purposefully bust into adult spaces and arbitrarily believe the creeps saying they're "safe" adults. It's the fault of your parents for not reaching you worth a damn and the predator. And yes, kids do fucking barge into adult NSFW spaces. None of the the ones that say they mind their business actually do.

"I agree with this post, cause like... the ones doing the most harassing are adults. I am a minor, and it makes me feel unsafe in fandom spaces. Especially when I see adults drawing nsfw of characters who are MINORS! aging them up does not excuse that gross and creepy behavior. Just stop and give us a space where we don't get pushed into a corner and called annoying. Leave our fandom spaces!"

It's gonna be really funny when you age out of your favorite characters and have a moral dilemma over the fact that you don't stop thirsting over Bakugo or whoever the fuck the minute you're older than him.

And aging up is...how time works. That's like saying no one can view anyone sexually, fictional or real life, because they were once a child. Do you realize how stupid that sounds? If you don't want to be sat at the kids table, learn how to behave rather than screaming at the main table because Aunt Milly told an off color joke and Grandpa Joe has a naked Princess Peach tattooed on his arm.

"I see people getting mad about Fandom Problem #5796, but that kind of is just proving the point? You all act like the minors are the biggest problem in fandom, but you are the ones constantly inserting yourselves and making it about you.

I see adults say things like:

- "Fandom wouldn't exist without adults."

- "Who do you think created fandom? Not minors!"

- "Minors wouldn't have content if it weren't for adults."

All are ignorant of the idea that minors are the foundation to fandom. Fandom would not exist if it wasn't for minors being interested in it and starting groups for people to join. Often times, the best artists and writers in the fandoms are THE MINORS.

Adults make the space uncomfortable by inserting themselves and putting NSFW fics and art of minor characters. Then they get pissy when a minor points out it makes them uncomfortable and go "stop invading our space!"

You are the ones trying to push minors out when we just want to have fun! Just leave us alone!

-A minor"

Minors aren't the biggest problem, no. But by food are they the loudest. You say you just want to have fun but minors have on mass harassed people that were leaving them alone simply because they didn't understand the concept of dead dove don't eat.

And no, you are not, nor have you ever been, the foundation of fandom. It has always been adults, from the very beginning when Sherlock Holmes novels gained an international fan club unlike the world had ever seen to the 1960s housewife Spock/Kirk shipping Trekkies starting conventions, mailing lists, having coalate parties for zines, and laying down the foundation we have today. Adults were the ones that got sued my lunatic writers in the 90s, and they're the ones that, 90% of the time, are buying the services or media for you to consume in the first place.

And I'm sorry, but the best artists and writers in the fandom are never minors. Exceptionally talented minors are exceptional for a reason. The rest of you sit somewhere between "average and has potential" to "would make My Immortal hide its face in secondhand embarassment." Art and writing are skills, and anyone under the age of 16 likely hasn't been writing fiction long enough to run with the heavy hitters. Considering the state of the US education system, this is an even more laughable stance.

Many minors have great potential, but acting like your the best in show when you just made it out the gate is the height of hubris.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[dearsaintavangeline]

Routes I Would Want For Damian Wayne's Character(because I desperately dont want him to become Batman)

1) TRAVEL ROUTE

• in my opinion, Damian's travel arc was really short. I was actually expecting it to be longer but instead he came to Gotham earlier.

i think travelling, learning new cultures, meeting new people would be better for Damian's character as he is seen to be always confused about who he is and who he wants to be.

one of his main things about Damian's character currently is him being confused about who he is and him not wanting to live under his parents shadow(which is why im not happy with the "damian is a mini bruce" or the "father like son" agenda they keep pushing in the comics but i will tak about that for another day)

if damian was away from his family like be was in the lazarus island, i think he have a better chance at finding out who he is because he is seperated from what others want him to be. also everything would be funnier imo

maybe Nika would join him and we could see Nika panicking about how to break the "Ra's al ghost" issue to him while Damian is just happy to have Nika with him. or we can have Suren&Damian&Maya trio(or dnd trio as me and my bff call them) reunion that would be so fun.

> my point is, I dont think Damian is meant for Gotham. I dont think Gotham is the route for him

2) SEPARATE VIGILANTE ROUTE

• I have seen SO many things about Damian creating his own persona, a one that he is comfortable with and i absolutely love the ideas even if its not my favourite one

shadowbird/blackbird/redbird/ghoul/caracal etc.. i have seen SO SO many things but i think "Shadowbird" and "Caracal" is my favourite one by far.

Shadowbird both follow his father side of the familys "bird theme" and his mother side of the familys "shadow theme" and in that sense i really like it.

i love Caracal because its really ironic considering caracal is a feline type creature and isnt on theme with the rest of his family😭😭 i find it funny

all of the names are very very nice and lovely imp i love all the original concepts!!

3)MEDICAL ROUTE

• i have two ideas for this one so i will separate them to make them easier to read

1)) nearly everyone knows this one. Its damian becoming a vet. i REALLY love this idea. I also love him moving to a cottage and opening up a clinic there. or maybe a farm too!!

2)) the second one is damian becoming a doctor.(surgeon to be exact) The reason for this idea is comes from him being a doctor to save lives to make up for the ones he ended.(since being a doctor is a very time consuming job so this kinda implies him stopping being a vigilante)

4)CIVILLIAN ROUTE

• I think one of damians main problems with not knowing who he is comes from the exceptations he has placed on himself because of the mantles/titles he had gotten in his life.(son of the demon/bat, heir to the demon, future batman, demonhead, robin etc..) if he were to be separated away from these he would at first maybe be confused with what to do but it would be better for him imo. i think he really could be in peace with himself if the civillian route were the case.

also there is something really sweet about him leaving the life of violence/fighting behind him considering his whole life has been filled with chaos.

i would love him being roomates with one of his friends(either Colin or with his cousin and brother Mara and Respawn)

5)ART ROUTE

• this one is a route where he goes to an art school in bludhaven(dont ask me why bludhaven it mostly because its a canon event for nearly most batkid to live there at least once) and becoming an artist!!

>>> If you have a route for Damian please tell me i love reading about damian!! <<<

[motley-box-rose-1]

Is venture bros worth watching? heard about it for many years but somehow allways in the background as if it was far away...

Depends. I’m not sure it’s a show that works for everyone, but for the people who DO like it? Very enjoyable. I think it largely depends on the content you’re okay with.

Like dark humor? Humor that gets gross or uncomfortable or offensive? If so, you’ll like this. I wouldn’t describe it as a show that runs solely off of potty humor or shock value though; genuinely, there is some clever writing in Venture Bros. That said, it’s still an adult cartoon with a lot of vulgarity, and definitely has a “push the envelope/what can we get away with” style.

Another factor to consider here: Venture Bros. parodies and references A LOT of different media. Pretty much every character is based off of some specific trope, classic character, or even a song. The core cast of characters are a big riff off of Johnny Quest, the Hardy Boys, macho spy tropes, G.I. Joe, and the superhero genre. And that’s just naming a few. That said, I don’t think you HAVE to know that stuff to enjoy the show. The basic idea is that Venture Bros. takes beloved icons of classic American media (usually of the more nerdy or “vintage” variety) and asks “okay, but what if there were consequences? What if we made this darker? What if we pointed out how silly this is? What if we went to the logical conclusion?” And so on.

That said, Venture Bros. Also has an emotional core. This is apparent in the first season, and even more visible in later episodes. It’s a labor of love directed at all the media it parodies. Although each character is wacky in some way and— with a few exceptions— usually a terrible person, there are grounded moments, and motivations that actually feel human. Most viewers eventually become emotionally invested in these characters. I’d say this factor even makes the humor better!

An example of this, and an overly sentimental way to reframe the series, is this: Venture Bros. is about Rusty Venture— a former “boy adventurer” who was traumatized and molded by all the crazy stuff his awful but successful father put him through— and Rusty’s sons, who are forced into being boy adventurer themselves. Other characters are— for better or worse— pulled into the family’s destructive and wacky orbit. Everyone is still affected by the “legacy” that Venture Sr. left behind.

And also there are funny jokes.

[howlingday]

Jaune: Mom, Dad! I'm home~!

Mama Arc: Jaune~! (Hugs him) Welcome back, dear! Are you hungry? I can whip up some dinner right now if I need to!

Jaune: If you do, Mom, could you set a couple extra plates?

Mama Arc: E-extra plate? Don't tell me you've brought a couple girls home with you!

Jaune: Actually, Mom, it's more than a couple... and one guy.

Mama Arc: A BOY?! That's what you are, right? I know it may look like a dress, but-

Ren: Greetings, Mrs. Arc. My name is Lie Ren. Jaune and I have grown very close since meeting at Beacon.

Mama Arc: Oh, good... Jaune was only bringing girls home for a while, so I thought he wasn't making friends with any boys for some reason.

That's what you were worried about?!

Jaune: Yeah, I get along with guys just fine. Actually, I think I like hanging out with guys just as much as I do with girls.

Mama Arc: What?! MY BABY BOY JUST CAME OUT TO ME!

Jaune: What? Is something wrong, Mom?

Mama Arc: No! No, of course not!

Mama Arc: (Thinking) I get it now. All those girls who would follow him home were just a means to keep his true feelings hidden. I'm so proud my son doesn't feel like he needs to hide himself from anyone!.

Nora: ...You sure you don't want to butt in, Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: I think... it'll makes for a funny story for late.

Mama Arc: REN! (Holds his hands) There's nothing wrong with you both being boys! You will always be welcome in my home, no matter what!

Ren: Um... Thank you?

Papa Arc: JAUNE! (Slams open door) Jaune... My son... Thank you for telling us. I think I can wrap my head around it... except for one thing.

Jaune: One thing?

Papa Arc: Are you... Y'know, the pitcher? That I can totally get, no problem! Or... Or are you more of a catcher? I can't say I've ever been in that position, but... BUT I CAN TRY!

Let's- Let's just ignore that.

Nora: So... You gonna set things straight soon?

Jaune: Er... Later. After dinner.

Nora: Hey! You still didn't set things straight after last time!

Pyrrha: So, uh, you two don't find this weird at all?

Mama Arc: It's not something we expected, but... So long as Jaune's healthy and happy, that's all that matters.

[otomiyaa]

No Spoilers!

Wade & Logan & Reader

A/N: Another bad thing that wasn't planned at all. I got the idea this morning, and decided to speed-write it right now just to get rid of it.. Sucks to be me.

Summary: Wade and Logan are bickering about spoilers. Not a big deal.... right? (Also on AO3)

Warnings: Tickling, swearing

Word Count: 2K

They were going to be home soon. You could hear their trademark bickering in the distance. Voices raised. A pitch here and there from Wade. Your lips curled up. Oh, these two.

Althea turned her head to you and grinned. "Looks like we can kiss the peace goodbye," she said. Blind Al was actually the reason you started to come over. After Deadpool and Wolverine had saved you from some nasty business and you asked them however you could repay them, Deadpool had looked you up and down after which he rubbed his hands.

"I know just the thing for you."

It almost sounded like a punishment. Some shady stuff they'd pull you in to repay your debts. But no, it was actually rather sweet. The big favor they asked you was to sometimes stop by and accompany Blind Al when they were gone. And walk Dogpool.

Blind Al, or Althea, was such a kind lady, but did not have many people in her life except Deadpool and his chaotic team of friends. And Dogpool could use more attention too if Wade and Logan were too busy.

Which was why you started to come over every now and then, and with it came the bonus that you could hang out with Wade and Logan and enjoy their quirky antics.

At first it was a funny and strange thought that the infamous Deadpool & Wolverine lived here together in this small apartment, together with their blind roommate and funny dog. But you had gotten used to it pretty fast, and even felt quite at home with them. And with time, it was as if they felt the same, trusting you more and more.

They had started to involve you in their missions, taking your advice seriously, letting you help come up with plans, and even allowing you to assist with making some very important decisions.

"No! You spoiled it!" you heard Wade's voice getting louder as they were almost home.

Some inaudible grumbling from Wolverine could be heard in return, until the door slammed open and they took their argument inside.

"Totally spoiled it! We can kiss our big reveal goodbye."

"There was never going to be a big reveal."

"Oh there sure was. You and I both agreed to it. When we agree to build up something towards a big reveal, you can't just Tom Holland it. But you did. You said it straight to the press."

"They overheard, that's something else."

"Oh so you admit it! You admit that you were spreading spoilers! On live TV!"

"It wasn't live! And it wasn't a spoiler."

"The cameras were totally rolling! Just you watch, they'll use it on the show and next we know is it'll cover the headlines!"

"Wade shut the fuck up. I never told any spoilers, I only said ー"

They froze and looked at you and Blind Al as you two had been listening to their little quarrel in silence. You nodded.

"Spoilers eh," you said dryly. Wade immediately changed his attitude and spread his arms.

"Oh hiiiiiii! We're so back! Our day went so well! Boss-fighting here! Celebrity interview there! Totally followed the script you gave us, well, for most of the part. Missed me?"

"What was the spoiler?" you asked curiously, ignoring everything else he said. Wade gasped.

"Spoiler? Spoiler. I have no idea what you're talking about, oh wait, I actually do. This guy over here is a pain in the stinkin' ass who ruins surprises. Who ruins fun. Right, Logan? That's what you do. You ruin fun. Logan the fun-ruiner."

Logan shook his head at Wade's ramling and rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Wade."

"Can I hear the spoiler too?" you asked Logan curiously as you got up from the couch, but Wade quickly jumped in between you and pushed you right back where you sat next to Blind Al.

"NO! No you cannot! Totally classified. Don't say it, Logan. Not again. I'm warning you."

"I wasn't going to," Logan said in disbelief. You sighed and jumped up again.

"If you spoiled it once, you can spoil it again. I want to he-Ehey!" you laughed when Wade pinched your side.

"I can't have you encourage the spoilerer to spoil spoilers!" Wade said, squeezing your side repeatedly. You jumped around and giggled, trying to escape his grip.

"Whahat kind ohohof t-tongue-twihihister is that!" you laughed. You couldn't see Wade's face beneath his mask, but you were sure he was smirking.

"Not as bad as this tongue-twister right here," he said before attacking you with both hands. Well your tongue didn't twist in any way, but you sure let out a loud shriek and tried to flee, tripped over Dogpool and stumbled clumsily into Logan's arms.

"That's it, the big wolf's got you. No escaping now!" Wade sang as he tickled both your sides.

"Nohoho lehehet me go- ahhahah!!" you cackled, realizing Logan wasn't going to let you through as he blocked you with his arms.

"Remind me why this is happening?" he asked casually while Wade continued to tickle you. Wade shrugged.

"It's how to deal with spoiler people I guess. After this, it's your turn."

"I don't think so. I'll make this count for two," Logan said, and to your surprise you suddenly felt his fingers dig into your sides - a remarkable, much firmer kind of tickling feeling than Wade's, and you trembled and shook in his arms.

"Wahahaha you two! Cuhuhut it out!" You struggled and flailed, but Logan tightened his hold on you while he tickled you with ease. Wade was dancing along with you, clawing up and down your ribs and all over your tummy as well. It tickled so bad.

"Guhuhuys! Ahhhaahah nohoho!" You struggled hysterically but failed to escape as their fingers continued to torment you.

"Tickles, doesn't it?" Wade asked smugly.

"Hehehell nohoho!" you laughed defiantly. People who ask stupid questions get stupid answers - but you also learned that those who give those stupid answers... well yes, they get punished.

Somehow you could get even more ticklish, as Wade spidered his fingers rapidly all over your tummy, while Logan was just moving from your sides to your stomach.

"Out of the way Logan! Or did you do that on purpose, hmm?" Wade said seductively when they bumped hands trying to tickle you in the same spot, and Wade teasingly interlocked their fingers in a romantic way. Seeing both of them with one hand occupied, you immediately bolted out of Logan's arms and tried to make a run for it.

"Oh no you don't!"

You let out a loud squeal when Wade literally tackled you, and you could hear Blind Al laughing at your predicament.

"It's good to have a laugh sometimes!" she encouraged. Well, this was more than just laughing. This was bloody murder.

"AHAAHAH WAhahade! Nohoho why- eheeheh!" you cried as Wade wiggled his fingers rapidly all over your torso. Your eyes widened when Logan kneeled by your side, and he grabbed both your wrists and pulled your arms up, stretching them over your head.

"Looks like fun," he commented dryly.

"Thanks bro~!" Wade thanked him before immediately tickling you your now very exposed and vulnerable armpits. You threw your head back and howled for your life.

"Thiihis ihihisn't fahahair! Aahahaha!" Life had always been weird and random ever since you got involved with Deadpool and Wolverine. But this was something that had never happened before. Sure it wasn't the first time Wade tickled you, he did it a lot actually.

But for some reason, Logan was now also motivated to join, and they both tickled you until you cried tears of laughter.

"This is almost like an inauguration ceremony, isn't it?" Wade said.

You wanted to ask for the meaning of that, but you were laughing too much. Luckily Logan already did it: "An inauguration for what?"

"For the DW Manager part of course!" Wade then gulped. He immediately stopped tickling you. Logan was still merely pinning your arms, and he nodded.

"Now you spoiled it, Wade."

Wade gasped. "I did not."

"Did too."

"Oh quit yapping and just tell us what's going on," Blind Al suddenly complained from behind you guys.

"Riiiight. Wade looked at you as you still lay there, all tired and breathless, and he chuckled.

"Well, I guess it's truth time then. So DP (me), and this stinky wolf over here," he said, poking Logan, "we were thinking to promote you officially to be our manager. What do you think? An invincible team like us, will need an invincible manager, and you may totally fit the job."

You frowned. First they tickled you to death and now they were... trying to, kinda, hire you? Talk about random.

"...But I don't have any powers."

"Except for being ticklish as fucking fuck, no you don't. But! You've got people skills. And what do you think, does Happy Hogan have any powers? No! But he kicked ass with Iron Man by his side. Oh and we can build your physical endurance, hehe," Wade poked your side to demonstrate, making you jump and yelp.

Deadpool laughed at that and continued:

"...and we just like to have you by our side, and make it official. What do you say? Will you be promoted from blind roommate caretaker and dog walker to the official Deadpool & Wolverine manager? Short: DW Manager?"

You couldn't help but giggle and nodded. "S-sure," you laughed.

"Fantastic!" Wade gave you a high five, and immediately used that hand to help you back on your feet. Logan patted your shoulder.

"You know Wade, he sometimes does weird things. He just wanted to do something to make sure you won't abandon him."

"Hey! Like giving a name tag to a dog? God no! That's our manager now, and we're going to be so much more badass together," he yelled.

"Well then, as your manager, I do hope that death by tickling is no longer something I'll need to experience," you said. Wade chuckled and poked you again.

"That would totally depend on how you do your job."

Logan let out a charming laugh. "What he probably means is, he'll still tickle you to death whether you like it or not."

"What about you?" you asked him, and Logan shrugged.

"I don't know. As the fun-ruiner, I might need to give some extra effort sometimes. After all, that was kind of fun," Logan explained calmly, smirking at you. You heard Blind Al laugh.

"It sure was," she said. Well, if all of them liked it that much... You grinned.

"Geez. Well, just next time, at least one time-out please."

That got both Deadpool and Wolverine nodding.

"Deal!"

Epilogue:

Wade and Logan looked cozy on the little sofa together as you walked in. Their voices could be heard through the room, but they weren't talking. It was their interview on TV that was playing.

"So the two of you basically do it all by yourselves? Fighting villains, dealing with the damages, public appearances, and all?"

"Yes, we totally do," Wade answered proudly, and while the interviewer answered and continued to speak, the camera slowly zoomed in on Wade and Logan, with Logan mumbling softly to Wade:

"Deadpool's taking all the credit huh? I think we've got someone at home who's being doing a lot of the work lately. We basically got a manager."

"Shhh, don't say that out loud yet!" Wade hissed, but his own whisper was interrupted by the non-TV Wade's loud scream which could be heard through the apartment as he pointed frantically at the TV. "SEE! THEY CAUGHT IT! SPOILER! ALERT!"

Logan and you snickered and exchanged glances. "That was the spoiler? You didn't say that much."

"I know right? He's just being dramatic. Overreacting is his thing."

"Agreed." Wade heard and his finger that was pointing at the TV was now aimed at you.

"That's it, you two do not team up on me like that or I'll tickle both of you to sudden death!"

"We're not teaming up," you said innocently, but Logan already got up and got the hell out of here. Maybe you should have followed his example.

"No Wahahade please- Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Well, just another day in your life as the manager of Deadpool & Wolverine!

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Review

firstly, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in and encouraged me in doing these liveblogs! this has been such a fun project to work on, and reading these books for the past nine months or so has been a bright spot in what has otherwise been a relatively tough period of my life. i’ve really enjoyed getting to theorise about all of the lore of these books and make horribly ill-advised emotional attachments to inevitably doomed characters

more fun statistics that no one asked for: this liveblog was the longest, at about 20,000 (!!) words. my GtN liveblog was 12000 words for comparison. i have no excuse other than i like to talk

NtN definitely was an interesting diversion from the other two books so far. it wasn’t exactly a breather, since it was still incredibly heartbreaking and horrifying, but it was fun to see a part of the worldbuilding very different from what we’ve seen before. as much as I missed both Harrow and Gideon, i liked that it gave other characters time to shine outside of interacting with them. it was fun to see more of Palamedes, Camilla, and Pyrrha, and how those characters act in a vastly different environment to the Nine Houses

although NtN was essentially telling two different narratives, John chapters vs Nona’s, it still didn’t feel particularly disjointed - i think it was thematically held together by being a bit more grounded than the other books so far, sci-fi and fantasy elements notwithstanding (contemporary issues like climate change and nuclear war, & John’s world being a setting far closer to our own vs Nona’s domestic life & very real problems of living in a warzone)

i also loved getting John’s perspective in the chapters narrated by Harrow, his point of view and recollections were equal parts funny, terrifying, and fascinating. he’s certainly got a … unique perspective on the world. it was just a slow horrifying journey trying to figure out how the world ended, knowing that it was doomed but not exactly how it happened

Muir really has a talent for endearing you to a protagonist, and Nona was no exception, I absolutely loved her, and just, her whole story and how tragic it was physically hurt me. i also wasn’t expecting to get as attached as i was to Hot Sauce and the school gang - i hope we get just even just a mention of what happens to them in AtN

tldr: 11/10. reading this series is like the emotional equivalent of voluntarily getting stabbed in the heart repeatedly. i have absolutely no clue what I’m going to do with my life now that this is over for the meantime, other than go crazy in a locked room with a red string conspiracy board trying to figure out whats going to happen in Alecto the Ninth

speaking of, obviously its not a pressing issue since to my knowledge there isn’t even a release date yet, but i’m not sure if i’ll do a liveblog for Alecto when it comes out? on one hand the most fun bit about liveblogging has been the reaction from everyone who’s already read the books and we’ll all be in the same boat of not knowing what’s going on when Alecto comes out, so i don’t know how much of a point there is? on the other i would very much enjoy doing it anyway, and i’m a perfectionist so it would be nice to have completed all of the books like that. so i guess it depends on how impatient i am to read the whole book when it comes out lol

[stars-stripes-and-rockets]

🫡 good day, Soldier! I have a very important question for you, sent straight from the top!

The government needs to know exactly what you think about all of your teammates, if you please.

God speed!

Straight from the top, eh? Well then I have no choice but to answer our president! My team is a group of tough and determined individuals! They have never let me down unless we lose a battle, but then it’s push-ups for everyone. I count on my team to have my back and, by God, they never disappoint! They enjoy killing, like me, and I could not ask for more. You can imagine how at home I felt when I found these Soldiers seeing as they were as blood thirsty as I am. They are good men, great even! On our downtime, they are fun people to be around! We drink, eat, and laugh often! I can only describe most of them as my brothers-in-arms! They are people I would be honored to die next to in the heat of battle!

I guess I should go into detail though.

Demo- He is a great man! Great Demoman! He is my best friend and he gets my love for explosions and war, but he always smells like beer. I find it impressive how strong his liver and willpower is because he drinks daily on the battlefield! He likes bombs, so do I. He likes boots, so do I! We get along well and I trust this man with my life. He is the most down to earth out of all people. We are like beer and pong! I like to spend some of my nights with him either playing cards, drinking, or both! I try to keep this body untainted, but who can resist their best friend’s call for company? Not this soldier! Never in a million years.

Scout- This young man is very awkward, but hides it behind confidence! He talks funny and can do with learning some more respect, but he tries. I think he has a crush on Miss Pauling, but he is not well with ladies! He tries! His speed is exceptional and his battle readiness is on point. I might give him a lesson or two on how to talk less and get to the point.

Pyro- He likes fire. He is passionate. He is…he cut off my hand. I like his style! I just cannot see eye to eye with him! Pyro speaks in muffled tongues, but sometimes I can understand him. Good man, needs to work on communication skills!

Engineer- I like Engie! He’s an amazing toymaker! I have said this, but we hang out in his workshop! He asks me for help because I am the best at following orders, but he teaches me too! I once spent hours in that room and came out as greasy as him on a good day. Sometimes though, I make the mistake of pissing him off and then I get a stern lecture for…uh…I do not know how long! He can really talk your ear off, so don’t be fooled by his southern hospitality! I wish he was more active in the field, but as long as he’s making weapons for our side I cannot complain!

Heavy- This guy is huge and he is an absolute tank in the battlefield! Not literally! I wish we had a tank! He takes damage and eats bullets and rockets like no man I’ve ever seen. Usually they all die! Him? As long as Medic is by his side, they are unstoppable. He does not talk much with me, but he seems to be very smart! I like him and his big gun and his sister! His love for a good, clean fist fight is admirable too. I want to test his strength, but I don’t think he would fight me! A little cowardly if you ask, but I guess fighting my teammates is wrong! I’d settle for an arm wrestle or two.

Sniper- He is one of the best sharpshooters I have ever had! I think he smells a little wet and weird, but that is because of his habit of throwing piss at the enemy! I would not want to be on the other end of that, but I have for a few times. I hate his camper because who wouldn’t want to camp old fashioned and touch your bare ass on the sweet grass of the woods. A soldier must be ready to abandon comfort at any moment! Sniper does like coffee and I cannot refuse a nice cup of Joe in the morning. The mornings with him are nice and laid back, but he has issues that I do not wish to get into!

Spy- I am suspicious of the man. Sometimes he talks in funny riddles and I wish he would be straightforward. His disguise and infiltration skills are like none I have ever seen. HE IS ALSO GOOD AT INTERROGATION, but I think I can stand his method. His little butterfly knife does not scare me! It never will. A small fry like him is no match for my pure, unfiltered bloodlust! He is very…proper, but he just spends money on fancy suits instead of real war clothing. CURSE THE RICH! Who needs class and manners when we’ve got beer and barbecues! I think he is jealous and we do not interact too often, but that is because he thinks I am an idiot! This American brain is just too sharp for him to understand. He does make good points though and corrects my mistakes.

Medic- Our doctor is the best one out there! He is quick to heal our team and dish out phenomenal Übers and gives me well-timed Kritz! Sometimes he likes to brag about his accomplishments and it is amusing! He is excitable, tenacious, and honest. The only thing I do not understand is why he complains about my volume! On the battlefield, it is good to hear your teammates calling for help. Fritz hates when I call him too many times, but to win I need to be in tip top shape! His check ups and talk of experimentation does not appeal to me. I am a healthy American! My mind is the soundest and I have one goal: victory! He calls me crazy, but his words, laughter, and smile is enough to scare Lt. Col. Kenneth Walsh! I think he likes blood more than Pyro likes fire…

I think that is all I have for my teammates! I hope the government approves of my debrief on my troops! Thank you, son, for giving me this information! A salute to you and God bless!

[scribefindegil]

Reigen demanding "30% of your harvest" from that farmer is a funny joke but it becomes exponentially more ridiculous if you think about it for a minute. There were multiple fields out there. Several reputable university websites tell me that the expected yield of cabbage from a commercial operation can exceed 40,000 pounds per acre. Even if we assume a yield of half the ideal due to the farmer's inexperience, even if we ignore how many field there were and pretend there was only one acre of land, that's still over three tons of cabbage! What are you planning to do with three tons of cabbage, Riegen? You live in a tiny apartment! You don't even have a car to transport it! Even if you're planning to sell it to someone else you'd have to turn your home and office into some sort of terrifying cole crop ball pit in order to store it all. What is your next step?!

Anyway, in retrospect he's very lucky that the wiggle wiggle spirit destroyed all those vegetables.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[a-dope-fiend]

It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.