#but none of him apologizing for breaking her trust or showing that he learned from that going forward

[jerichogender]

something that really drives me crazy in ntt is how joey isn’t given flaws that are ever explored in a meaningful way. i think a perfect storyline they could’ve done to give him more depth is go off of the established thing joey does of eavesdropping on people. have it be a situation where he finds out something about one of his friends that he shouldn’t know & then he has to learn the hard way about respecting other people’s privacy

[makelemonade]

Good afternoon, Lemonade. I read your Tsaritsa fic and would like to make a request for Childe. The Tsaritsa plays intervention after hearing rumors about Childe cheating on Fem!Reader with Lumine.

The Tsaritsa is the archon of love, so when she notices and feels that the love lives of her Harbingers aren’t going too well, she has to interfere- pt2

Childe; hurt/comfort, female reader, harbingers are all friends. I wrote that it was assumed he was cheating but didn’t actually I suck at writing cheating idk @ruttteerr pt1

Childe

You understood that your boyfriend’s job was difficult- 11th may have been the lowest but that didn’t make the work or missions any less than the others have it.

And because compared to the other Harbinhers, he’s one of the only few who actually goes out on missions and leaves for days to weeks to months.

At first it was…annoying- he was always gone for days, and if he was actually here he’d be off working on a bunch of papers or training new fatuus.

But he tries to be with you, both mentally and physically. If he’s away, he’ll write a letter for you everyday, telling you about how it was and he hopes you’ll send one at the end of the week. If he’s working at home, he’ll ask you to sit on his lap as he works or stay in the room with him so when he gets tired and frustrated he can hold.

If he’s working in the castle- he’s bringing you to the castle. You get the picture.

So when he tells you he has a mission in Liyue that’ll take a few weeks, you’re emptying out your mailbox so that all of his letters can fit.

Yet only one comes.

The letter tells you that the first day of his mission has already gone hectic as he had to save a girl from the millileth- he learned her name was lumine and she was the same traveller who saved mondstadt from the dragon.

Now you’re not jealous. Sure at the start of the relationship you easily got jealous of girls that would stare at Childe and flirt with him but after many years of being with him and not once did he cheat, you trusted him.

It was just so insanely weird that suddenly all the letters stopped. None came for 2 weeks and you were feeling nervous- did something happen to him? Was he hurt?!?!

Your thoughts worsened when one day, a subordinate showed up to your home, carriage ourside and explaining a Harbinger has called for you.

Did he die?!?!? You ask him so many questions but he apologizes and says he knows nothing and you’re forced to head to the carriage, on the way to the castle.

Once inside, you found Signora- a friend and a harbinger. She was pacing around, and her eyes lit up when she saw you.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, your breath quickening at her state. “Is Childe okay?”

“Who cares about him!” She scoffed, walking up to you. “Has he sent you anything lately? I just got back from Liyue.”

“No- and shouldn’t he be here with you?!”

“He asked for a few extra days to stay there.” She dragged a hand down her face, seemingly very annoyed.

You were about to ask why- what’s so important that he’s taking extra time on this mission but Signora was already back?! Until it clicked in your head, and slowly as the puzzle pieces went together, the pieces of your heart started to break.

“He met lumine…” you breathed out, remembering his final letter before they stopped.

She frowned. “Everyday I was there they were always together. And now he’s taking a few days extra?! Y/N, they are hanging out one hundred percent. Honestly, I think he might’ve…”

You put a hand up to stop her, feeling tears well in your eyes. No- this couldn’t be! He would never!

“What’s she like?” You asked, somewhat trying to make this whole situation worse for yourself.

“She fights a lot- as much as Childe, honestly.”

A girl who loves to fight, just like he does.

“Looks?”

“Ugly.”

Gorgeous actually, she just didn’t wanna say it.

“This can’t be happening,” You sniffed, trying not to let any tears fall.

Down the hall, just around the corridor was Pierro, listening in on everything and deciding he must tell the queen of love herself.

~~

“WHAT?!?!?” She screamed, echoing around the throne room and sending shivers down everyone’s spine. Her face was full of fury, and Pierro was honestly a bit scared. “CHILDE? CHEATING? ON Y/N?”

She practically growled, pacing back and forth around the room. “This is…atrocious! Nauseating! Abhorrent! And it’s the same traveller that tried to stop Signora, am I not correct?! Does he have no shame?!”

Pierro just blinked, not knowing what to say but he honestly couldn’t even get a word in with how much she was ranting.

“I want a room put for her this instant! She will stay in the castle as a loved guest until Childe comes. Speaking of! WHO IS HE WITH?!”

Pierro took a step back. “Zhongli- Morax’s human form.”

“I’m gonna visit that dragon in my dreams and he better relay every single goddamn word I say to Childe and Childe BETTER be here in 3 days!”

“Can i take my leave now?” He honestly didn’t care.

“Wait! Tell the others that the moment chikde steps FOOT in this castle he is to report straight to the hall and all of you will give him an intervention! No- actually! Tell him to come here and I WILL.”

“Ok.” He shrugged and she sighed, taking a seat back onto her throne and waving her hand away, letting Pierro take his leave.

~~

Childe was absolutely scared shitless when he arrived back in Snezhnaya because what the hell did Zhongli mean when he said he went to sleep and the Tsaritsa visited him in his slumber screaming at him to tell Childe to come back to Snezhnaya immediately?!?!???

The moment the palace doors closed behind him, the walls started to shake and ice fell from the ceilings.

“AJAX!”

The Tsaritsa’s scream echoed around every ahll of the castle and dread filled him in an instant. He looked to the side of the hall to see Dottore, who looked absolutely scared shitless and Capitano who went rigid.

“You’re in some deep shit comrade.” Dottore snorted and Childe genuinely had no idea what he was talking about

And he still had no idea as he stood in the throne room, watching the Tsaritsa yap and yell at him but he couldn’t even understand a word he was saying.

Because all she would say was “cheater” over and over again and say she was so humiliated and disappointed and he had no idea what to say.

“Do you have anything to say?!”

“Yeah- what thé hell are you talking about?!”

“You cheated on Y/N!”

He stared at her, absolutely dumbfounded for a few seconds before he broke out into a fit of laughter. “What?! Oh my, your majesty I never took you as one to be such a jokester!”

Now she was confused. “Huh? I’m not! You cheated on Y/N with Lumine! Of all people you could’ve done it with- HER? OUR ENEMY?”

He realized she was serious and now he was once again, insanely confused. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You cheated on Y/N with lumine!”

His jaw dropped. What? No, he would never ever EVER cheat on his pookie bear and he MEANT that because you’re the love of his life! “I would never cheat on her!”

She was about to yell at him, but then she felt it- she felt the amount of love he had for her now that he was back, and it was too strong- too strong to remain after cheating on someone.

She basked in the feeling for a while, and felt herself calm down. “You…didn’t?”

He just shook his head, scoffing. “Where did this even come from?!?”

She didn’t answer, instead laughing and yelling “YES!” Out of joy and she ran up to hug him and he was just so confused still.

“Oh, forget everything I just said about you, Tartaglia! It was a rumour, and we all believed it!”

“All- SO Y/N THINKS SO TOO?!”

Her heart drops when she realizes.

~~

You were hesitant to let Childe into the room the Harbingers so graciously offered you, but he just sounded so desperate that you couldn’t help yourself.

His heart broke at the sight of you- eyes red, nose runny and your shirt drenched in your own tears. He took your hands, realizing just how cold they were and sat down beside you on the bed.

He put one hand on your cheek to wipe away a falling tear and you tried to ignore how cold his hand was.

“I…I’m sorry. I made a promise to you years ago- a promise that I would never leave your side, and I still intend on keeping that promise, but I should’ve tried harder on my mission. I wanted to write to you everyday, but it got so hectic…Morax decided to pull a “fake-my-death” last minute and since, the whole plan was in shambles and the traveller was trying to help…in the end I ended up beating her ass, which I hope makes you feel better-“

It did.

“And so much more happened; I got betrayed by a friend and I never thought I’d be hurt by this but god even Signora betrayed me! They lied to me throughout the mission and the reason I took extra days was because Morax- Zhongli, now, wanted to explain to me just why the plan was changed and I was just gonna spend those few days with him. I should’ve wrote to you- any spare few minutes I had I should’ve spent at least writing out a few words to you, but I didn’t, and I’m sorry.”

More tears flew out of your eyes, and even he was crying too. You wrapped your arms around him, nuzzling your head into the crook between his neck and shoulder.

“You’re not obligated to have to always write to me.”

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. “I know. But I want to.”

He’ll take you both to your shared home but now, he just wanted to keep you in his arms to make up for the last 3 weeks.

[schrijverr]

The Hearts of Gotham 6

Chapter 6 out of 7

Bruce makes the Justice League believe he has two hearts and is a manifestation of Gotham’s night to throw them off his secret identity, not trusting them. When the sound system breaks, he doesn’t come clean, but lies instead that he split into two to make Robin. From there it spirals as all the Robins make the lies grow and twist it in their own ways, until the truth comes out.

This fic is based on this post and inspired by Bouncing Baby Bat, or so the Justice League is led to believe... by EmpressGeek.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none

~~~~

Chapter 6: How Damian Makes It a Competition

Damian doesn’t see the point of lying to the Justice League. They’re a group of incompetents and Father doesn’t need to portray himself as a stupid meta to fit in with them. In fact, at first he refused to play along, which had him banned from meeting the Justice League.

Tt, like he cares.

However, then Drake and Todd had started squabbling about who had fooled the Justice League better, with Todd exclaiming he basically wrote the book, while Drake argued he truly cemented everything and created consistency.

Which caused Brown to start complaining that she never got to meet the Justice League and they both missed the opportunity to mess with Father himself, which Damian doesn’t condone. However, it’s clear the others do, because Drake helps her break in as Robin to prove it.

She comes back and loudly exclaims her triumph and that no one can do it better than her. This is obviously a challenge. All the previous Robins have gotten this trail, so he will do it too and show them all that he is the obvious best.

Thus, there is a determination in his step as he stomps after father into the Watchtower for the first time, a glower on his face and his shoulders squared.

They enter a big room with a table, around which all the Justice League members are sitting. A few start to greet Batman, but they are distracted by Damian, who steps up next to him. His rightful place and stares at the assembled heroes.

“I am Robin,” he proclaims. “I am the light of Gotham’s night and the heir to the Batman mantle and I will not have you tarnish Father’s skill set by exposure to your incompetence.”

The heroes look confused, because of course they can’t understand basic language and Father lowers himself to excuse Damian with: “We’ve been having an assassin problem in Gotham, lot of flash bombs,” as if Damian needs to be excused.

The alien that calls himself Superman approaches first, giving Damian one of those patronizing kind smiles as he says: “I’m Superman, it’s nice to meet you Robin.”

With vague disdain floating around in his veins, Damian eyes the hand, not shaking it as he returns: “I will not lie that it is nice to meet you too, alien.”

“Robin,” Father warns. “What have I told you about being polite?”

“Tt.” Damian is above stupid things as social conventions that just waste time, he doesn’t get why Father doesn’t see that.

“Robin.”

Fine, whatever, Damian can try and follow Father’s rules and ethics. He came here to learn to be the Batman, this is apparently the Batman. So, he spits: “My apologies, Kent,” not sounding apologetic at all.

However, it is enough for Father, because he doesn’t pressure Damian to apologize again. Instead he sighs: “I’m sorry about him, he’s getting used to living like a person.”

“Why is he so crabby?” the speedster comments.

“Yeah, he hasn’t got the time to be roughed up by the world yet,” the Lantern says. “Shouldn’t he still have ideals?”

Damian feels a little like biting these imbeciles heads off, however, he is here to complete his mission and to prove to his siblings that he is the best at meeting the Justice League. From what he has observed, ‘fucking with them’ and freaking them out is part of that.

So, he unsheathes his sword and points it at the two fools that spoke and says: “It is clear that you have never been remade out of the darkness.”

“What the fuck,” the Lantern swears, while the speedster squeaks: “Batman, Robin is pointing a sword at us,” ducking behind the Lantern when he does.

Father at least seems to understand the mission. Though, it is still patronizing when he says: “And he didn’t use it. Good job, kiddo.”

“Tt. They would have deserved it if I did. They know not what they speak off, Father,” Damian tsks at the heroes, who are starting to back away from him, he is pleased to note.

“Is this normal, Batman?” the alien asks. “He seems a bit more… mean than his predecessors.”

Damian doesn’t let Father answer for him. He is not a little kid, he can speak for himself just fine, thank you very much.

“Kent,” he barks, now pointing his sword in the direction of the alien. “I have been told it is not polite to speak of someone behind their back, nor to whisper in company. Do you have a good explanation for yourself?”

The alien has the decency to look apologetic, weak as the emotion may be. “I’m sorry, Robin. I- I suppose I was wondering if you were okay?”

“Why would I not be?” Damian snaps, baring his teeth more.

“Uhm, the- the sword is new?” the alien says like it’s a question instead of an observation, because he’s an imbecile.

“The sword was necessary for my birth,” Damian answers anyway, noting an exasperated look on Father’s face. From what he has seen, this is a good thing if he wants to win.

Bruce, meanwhile, has decided to give up and let it play out, only stepping in if Damian starts stabbing. His stupidity has led to this moment, he can live with the shame of whatever his son puts him through. It’s an initiation process at this point. For both of them.

“Your birth?” the speedster asks, looking apprehensive and cautious while doing so. Damian still thinks him incompetent, but he has to give him credit for speaking while scared. He knows that he is a threat, that is bravery.

“Yes, my birth,” Damian says, before decided a monologue would now be in order. Dramatics are a part of succeeding. He has to have a good monologue to assure victory over the others.

He proceeds: “After my predecessor got reabsorbed there were some complications with my emergence. Darkness is strong in Gotham and the night did not want to let me reemerge at first.” He has also noted that it has to be truthful on some level and Father certainly did not want him out in the field at first.

“However, Robin is necessary and I am the rightful heir to take on the mantle. So, I fought Father and ripped myself out of his flesh with this sword. It is formed by the ones that trained the Batman and thus the most suitable weapon against him,” Damian tells them. “It is mine to wield and ensure that I continue to exist as Robin.”

The Justice League appears to be slightly horrified at that, which is a definite success in Damian’s book.

“Are- are you okay, Batman?” the alien asks tentatively, like the coward he is.

Father did, in fact, get slashed on patrol a few days ago and Damian is pleased when he goes along with his story like he has with the others. He does so by bringing a hand to the wound, so that those with heightened senses could smell the blood, as he says: “I’m getting better.”

The Lantern looks pale as he comments: “Is it always so violent?”

“Tt, of course not, the others just had to separate their flesh from Father, ripping their seams that connected them, before finding their shape,” Damian says. “I had to cut myself out of the darkness, ripping out the pieces of flesh I needed from Father to form myself. It was a far more bloody process.”

Before he can continue describing it, Father steps in, much to his dismay. He claps a hand over Damian’s mouth and says: “Like I said, it’s a private affair.”

Vaguely Damian can make out a whispered: “Holy shit,” though he doesn’t know who it was.

“Father, I have enough of these imbeciles,” Damian announces, having fought off the hand and feeling like he has won successfully, so there is no need to remain. “They obviously cannot handle much and I do not wish to exposed to it for longer.”

“I have a meeting, Robin. You can go home by yourself,” Father sighs.

“No, no, it’s okay, we can postpone,” the speedster hastens says. Tt, the man is terrified of this little, how does he operate in the field? How do any of them with how quick they are to agree?

“Fine,” Father gives in easily. Damian doesn’t realize that the Justice League thinks he agrees so easily because he is still recovering from Damian’s birth, but Bruce does. He wonders why he still keeps it up when his kids make him go through shit like this.

They return to the Cave through the Zeta-Beam where they are greeted by applause. Brown comes over and slings an arm around Damian’s shoulders that he is quick to shrug off. She says: “I didn’t know you had it in you, squirt, but that was hilarious.”

“Tt, I am not a squirt,” Damian grouches. “And it is not very difficult. The Justice League are a bunch of incompetent cowards. I would highly recommend cutting ties with them Father.”

“The League are skilled in their own ways and integral to the world’s safety, Damian,” Father replies, before shooing Drake out of the chair so he can work on his cases.

Drake shoots him a glare, but continues on his laptop, while Brown goes back to annoy him once again. Damian doesn’t care. He has to train.

However, later the footage of his interaction with the Justice League appears in the group chat for further evaluation. Todd, however, maintains he fooled them the best, while Brown argues that she tops Todd.

Still, the face the Lantern made when Damian started describing his ‘birth’ becomes a reaction meme in the group chat. Damian has observed this to be a high honor and privately concludes that he has won the contest and has proven himself to be the superior Robin once more.

~~

A/N:

Omg, Damian is such a difficult character to writeee, I’m strugglinggg! Hope this was okay for a first attempt at getting in his head :D

[theerurishipper]

How would you like to see Adrien learn the truth? What would the consequences be?

Hi!

I honestly haven't thought about it. I think ideally that Marinette and/or everyone else who is hiding the secret should come clean to him. If it does end up happening, it should be in a way that prioritizes Adrien's perspective first and foremost. So none of this "Marinette having a breakdown about having to keep this a secret and Adrien finding out this way" business (cough cough Strikeback) that this show loves to pull. That would place more focus on Marinette's pain than Adrien's valid hurt, because Adrien would once again put aside his own feelings to comfort her. Marinette should be telling Adrien because she's realized that she shouldn't keep secrets like this from him and that she should respect his autonomy, and she should make that choice with thought and care, not because she's having a breakdown about it and just blurts it out without thinking because she can't take it anymore.

Marinette has the tendency to think she knows best and to make things about herself (not in a malicious way, it doesn't make her a bad person). Like when she confessed to her mistakes in Strikeback, it was less because she was apologizing to Chat Noir and more that she was berating herself. The same thing happened in Kuro Neko, where she was more focused on her failure as Guardian than Chat Noir. And like in Illusion, when Gabriel pulled Adrien out of school and Marinette's first thought was about how she is a curse for Adrien and that she should stay away from him rather than about Adrien himself (again I want to make it clear that this doesn't make her a bad person, it's a realistic flaw). And I don't want any of that here. She and the narrative should focus on Adrien first and foremost. That would be the character development that she needs, to learn to listen to the people around her, and maybe this time it will stick.

I don't want any of this "Lila tells Adrien" business either even though I know that if the show does deal with this, the Lila thing is how it will go down because it would make Adrien's problems all about Marinette once more. And I don't want Adrien's right as a human being to be just another part of the Lila-Marinette feud that is used to cause conflict between them. If Adrien finds out, the focus should be on him.

As for the consequences, I've said before that I think Marinette and Adrien should break up, and I still stand by that. Canon has proved that Marinette and Adrien can't heal and grow if they are around each other. Marinette will just continue making decisions for him because she wants to protect him, and Adrien will just continue to forgive her over and over because he puts his feelings last. I think that growth for Adrien would be to realize that he doesn't need to accept poor treatment from anyone, even if they love him, and that his feelings of hurt matter and deserve to be validated. I think that him wanting space from Marinette and everyone else in his life who lied to him and not forgiving them instantly would be the best way for him to regain control of his agency. Because what they are doing to him honestly isn't something that can be forgiven immediately, not without losing so much trust in them. And their actions are actively preventing Adrien from healing, and I think he needs to leave so that he can heal before he tries to rebuild and heal his relationships. And this is also time which Marinette can spend healing from her traumas so that she and Adrien can mend their relationship.

That's what I think, anyway. In terms of plot, my ideal Season 6 would have Adrien go back in time, beat Gabriel's ass, use his powers of destruction to sever the link between him and his amok thereby making him a real boy, and smashing the Peacock Miraculous to bits. But that's just wishful thinking. The other thing I'm thinking is that it doesn't matter what happens after, because Adrien's arc was ruined the moment he was denied the opportunity to face Gabriel, and that I think it's bad writing that his arc about breaking free of an abusive father is reduced to being a conflict between him and his girlfriend, because Adrien doesn't get to have anything that doesn't involve Marinette in some shape or form, because he doesn't exist as his own character so much as he exists to meet Marinette's needs.

Anyway, I hope that answers your question anon. Thank you for your ask!

[staplegrapes]

Better Late than Earlier (Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Reader)

Description: After dogfight football, Rooster discovers you’ve never learned how to throw a football. He decides to fix that. (No use of y/n).

Basically: Dating Rooster and him being an absolute gentleman

Word Count: 1.3k

TW: None

✨Gender Neutral Reader✨

Gif is not mine, credit to shown creator.

You knew this was Dogfight football. What exactly was happening was beyond you. All you could tell was that there were two footballs. everyone was running either trying to attack or defend or both and there was a notable lack of shirts. Penny had invited you over to work early without telling you what was happening. All she said was "trust me," and boy were you glad you did.

You and Penny were sitting at the table on the back porch of the Hard Deck watching the “training” unfold. Penny attempted to look busy with some paperwork scattered in front of her, you didn't have that luxury. You didn't really mind, since you and Rooster were together it wouldn't strike anyone as weird for you to observe. Even if you didn’t quite get what was happening, it was fun to watch. Plus, seeing your boyfriend running around shirtless wasn’t exactly painful to see.

This also was the first time you were seeing the famous (or infamous) Maverick in the flesh. He was shorter than you expected but damn, he did not look nearly as old as he had to have been. You had heard a bit about him here and there, but you could tell Rooster wasn't big on talking about him. You didn't want to ask, but it seemed almost every picture there was of Bradley's parents, Maverick was in it too.

The past two weeks had been weird for Rooster with Maverick being back and being surrounded by all the best pilots in the Navy. It seemed like Bradley was on the offense at all times, even with you. But today, Bradley seemed... different, even with Maverick. He didn't seem to care about their past right now. Deep down you knew that probably meant that this was a fairly serious mission, but you tried your best not to think too hard about that. It was nice to see Bradley at ease for once.

During a water break, Rooster looks in your direction for a moment, you're not sure if it was directly at you since he had his aviators on. Running for his stuff you see him grab something and head towards you.

"Keeps the sun off your shoulders." He gestures down to your tank top. Your shoulders were starting to get pretty warm.

"What about you?" you ask.

"I think you're enjoying the sun on my shoulders." He smirks.

"Oh shut up, give it." He hands you the shirt before jogging back to the game. As you slide your arms through the shirt on Penny gives you a look.

"What?" you ask.

"Nothing, just cute." she smiles.

It was interesting to see all the aviators having fun. You never thought you would see both Hangman and Rooster smile in each other's general vicinity. And even less so with Rooster and Maverick.

But as soon as Cyclone showed up, the relaxed feeling dissapeared. But once Maverick went back to base with Cyclone, the rest of the aviators were free to continue playing.

Penny had gone back inside the Hard Deck, likely preparing for the customers that would soon be filling the space as the night approached. You also had a sneaking suspicion that it was also because Maverick had left she didn't have anything to watch.

At some point the ball was hurdled in your direction which you dodged narrowly.

“Whoops, sorry. Thought you saw it.” Fanboy apologized.

You did. That’s why you dodged.

“It’s ok! No harm done." you smile.

“You should join!” Phoenix encouraged from afar as Payback jogged to get the ball, but you shook your head. As he gets closer you toss the ball back to him.

“Maverick’s gone, we’re just playing for the hell of it now.” he adds with an inviting head tilt. Still, you shook your head.

"Alright, good to see you!" He smiles as he jogs back, chucking the ball in Fanboy's direction.

The crowds started to evaporate as the sun falls lower in the sky. Soon the entire crew has either left or is heading inside the Hard Deck. Bradley walks up to you as he pulls his tank top on.

"Enjoyed the game?"

"I'd be much more interested in sports if that was the uniform." You tease and he laughs.

"Oh I bet you would be."

You start to get up from the picnic table as Bradley throws his stuff on the sand in front of you and starts stepping backwards. You look up to him questioning, but his mischievous smile gives away his next line.

“C’mon, one throw.” He says as his smile turns from mischievous to sweet.

You shake your head.

"Oh, c'mon, why not?" He asks, still smiling.

“I don’t know how, Roos.” You shrug.

And it was the truth. The opportunity never came upon you growing up. Some guy in high school said he'd show you, but then broke up with you before he fulfilled that promise. You also were a bit of a slow learner and that in itself lent you to not jump into trying new things. You convinced yourself it was for the sake of those trying to teach you.

“Oh.” He said plainly, “it’s not too hard, it's all in the technique. Lemme show you. C'mere."

You were surprised about how little of a reaction he had. There was something about how he said it, like it was no big deal. That is what convinced you to slip your shoes off and join him on the sand. He steps behind you and brings the ball in front of you, effectively sandwiching you between his chest and the ball. He takes your hand with his and starts to place it on the ball.

"So your middle finger goes at the top of the laces, and your ring finger skips a lace, if it can, but if your hands don't quite reach it's ok..."

You kinda loss track of what he was saying. You were distracted. Not by the feeling of his hands over yours or the feeling of his shirt on your shoulders. It wasn't the smell of the sunscreen. It was the lack of judgement and how slowly and carefully he was teaching you.

"Alright, now when you throw it, it's gonna spin off your fingers, so you- yeah that's it."

"So when you go to throw it, to make the ball spin, you gotta follow through with your arm, rotating it into your other side."

He grasps your arm and pulls it out and down to the other side. "Not all the way, but that's the motion you're aiming for."

After a few more minutes of explaining how to hold, aim and throw he steps around you and jogs backwards a bit.

"Ok, give it your best shot." He holds his hands up together, ready to catch.

Trying to remember everything he said, you check your grip, step back, bring the ball up to the side of your face and throw it the best you can, being sure to rotate your arm.

Sure, it was a less than adequate throw, the ball wobbled and ended up a solid 6 feet from Bradley, but you couldn't guess that from his reaction.

"There you go! The spin was there." He smiles. Again, the lack of scrutiny relaxes you. Apparently, it relaxes you enough to ask.

"Can I try again?"

"Yes, yes, you can." He chuckles as he grabs the ball walking back to you.

"Are you sure you have nowhere you gotta be. Would you rather go inside with the rest of..." You asked, you never wanted to be a bother, but Rooster eased those fears as he walked up to you taking off his aviators with one hand and hooking them on his shirt.

"Only place I wanna be right now is on the beach with you as the sun sets." He smiles before kissing you as he transfers the ball to your hands. "Now try again, sugar." He mumbles against your lips, making you laugh.

"You'll be in the NFL in no time." he says as he jogs backwards again.

And you didn't know it yet, but this would be one of your favorite memories of dating Rooster. You'll always remember it like it was yesterday. You'll always remember the peaceful setting of the empty beach washed in the colors of the sunset. You'll remember the feeling of his Hawaiian shirt on your shoulders. You'll remember that kiss and the line that made you laugh. But most importantly, you'll remember realizing you were madly in love with Bradley Bradshaw.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

A/N: This is inspired by me being in the exact same situation a few months ago except the Rooster in my story was my guy best friend, so not nearly as... romantic haha, but it gave me the idea for this. Also, let's just all agree to forget that Rooster having a relationship in San Diego doesn't actually make sense... we'll just say he's been stationed here for a while.

[bohemian-nights]

Imagine building a “ship” based on rumours 🤡 that explains why you are so miserable, dumb and obsessed with Daemyra😂 Matt Smith just said that no one can trust mushroom at comic con few days ago 😂 Daemyra is everything you crave for your deranged (self-inserted👀) 🚢

You feel better now? Come off anon and say it with your whole chest if you do not. I promise I will not bite🤗

Now let’s get into your deeply flawed accusations, shall we😊:

1. Daemon and Nettles’ romantic relationship is based on more than just rumors (Mushroom is not the only source despite you people falsely claiming that he is). I know that you Dumbnyra, my apologies, Daemyra stans are a little slow so let me break it down for you:

In both Fire & Blood and in The Rise of the Dragon (left passages) Maester Norren’s(who was there with them at Maidenpool unlike Mushroom) testimony is used to support the claim that Daemon and Nettles were lovers.

Of course, I know that you are going to say that Maester Norren is the same one who mentions Daemon doting on Nettles like a daughter, but what man bathes with his grown daughter or someone who he sees as his daughter? I also know that you’ll spout out some bull crap about how in The Wheel of Time two friends bathed together and it was platonic. Don’t do that.

I want you to show me a piece of media where a father(or father figure) is bathing naked with his grown adult daughter and it wasn’t considered creepy and weird🙃

Would you consider it normal if Rhaenyra bathed with Corlys 🙃 Or better yet, would you take a bath with your father or a fatherly figure at the age you are now 🙃 Is that what you do for father daughter bonding time ☺️

Furthermore, in Fire & Blood, Lord Mooton’s brother(top right passage) makes note of how fond Daemon is of Nettles. Fond enough that the man who murders family members including children for his own advancement would fight through sixty men, burn down a castle, and would lay his life down for Netty.

Daemon chooses to put Nettles first, disobeying his beloved wife’s orders(remember she wanted him back by her side in Kings Landing not going after Aemond by himself) and betraying her trust causing her to ultimately lose the war and her life:

“Long leagues to the north, in a castle overlooking the Bay of Crabs, another lord found himself sliding down a sword’s edge as well. From King’s Landing came a raven bearing the queen’s message to Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool: he was to deliver her the head of the bastard girl Nettles, who had been judged guilty of high treason. “No harm is to be done my lord husband, Prince Daemon of House Targaryen,” Her Grace commanded. “Send him back to me when the deed is done, for we have urgent need of him.” -Fire & Blood

“By evenfall, Rhaenyra Targaryen found herself sore beset on every side, her reign in ruins. “The queen wept when they told her how Ser Lorent died,” Mushroom testifies, “but she raged when she learned that Maidenpool had gone over to the foe, that the girl Nettles had escaped, that her own beloved consort had betrayed her, and she trembled when Lady Mysaria warned her against the coming dark, that this night would be worse than the last.” -Fire & Blood

In The World of Ice & Fire (in the above bottom right passage) Nettles is unquestionably recognized as being Daemon’s lover.

In the Novella The Princess and the Queen Daemon and Nettles are said to be lovers:

“Long leagues to the North in a castle overlooking The Bay of Crabs, another lord found himself sliding down a sword’s edge as well. From King’s Landing came a raven bearing the queen’s message to Manfryd Mooton, Lord of Maidenpool. He was to deliver her the head of the bastard girl Nettles who was said to become Prince Daemon’s lover.”

Lastly, we also have this little piece of media where Nettles is once again stated to be Daemon’s lover.

I can not reiterate this enough, none of the above sources cite Mushroom’s testimony as evidence for Daemon and Nettles being lovers and Daemon loving Nettles. We are not making sh!t up or basing Daemon and Nettles’ relationship off of Mushroom’s salacious tales. They are claimed to be lovers in every(because once again despite in Fire & Blood Maester Norren saying Daemon doted on Nettles like a daughter he is the one providing evidence for their sexual and romantic relationship) single edition of the story.

2. HOTD and shipping Daemon and Nettles is my hobby. The only time I talk about your ship is in defense of my ship or if someone is asking me about your ship.

That being said, while this is a hobby, I’m not going to turn a blind eye to the blatant anti-Blackness and misogynoir that is rife in this fandom. Misogynoir that is perpetuated mainly by your side of the fandom, so what you are not going to do is come for me because I call you people out on your bs.

What we are not going to do is act like I came out the gate swinging for your ship when I did not. You people are actively making Black fans' experience in fandoms(which is supposed to be a fun space) unenjoyable because we either have to ignore your racism or make posts like these defending ourselves on why we say what we say or ship what we ship. So save your miserable, dumb, deranged, and obsessed accusations for the people who are spouting out this bull crap:

3. Matt was referring to the rumors that Daemon and Alicent had an affair in The Rogue Prince novella (these rumors were cut from Fire & Blood):

He was not referring to Daemon and Nettles’ relationship. You would know that if you were actually paying attention, but I understand that the facts are not your side of the fandom’s forte. I understand that y’all would rather make up bs to prop up your sinking ship than hear the cold hard truth 🤷🏽‍♀️

At any rate, the show has already incorporated some of Mushroom’s bawdy tales (notably the brothel fiasco😊):

And I don’t think I need to remind you he’s not the only one who mentions Daemon and Nettles’ relationship(revisit point 1. if you need that reminder 😊)

4. There is nothing about your ship that I want for my ship because I don’t crave this for Daemon and Nettles:

Or this:

Or this:

(This is the fate that awaits your self insert, who is a racist sociopath that thinks the appropriate response to finding out your husband is with someone you deem as being lesser is to go on a racist tirade and commit a hate crime , when the love of her life leaves her on read while saving Netty🤷🏽‍♀️)

I sincerely hope that Daemon and Nettles’ romantic relationship is nothing like your ship and I hope that we get to see this come to life:

“How the prince and his bastard girl spent their last night beneath Lord Mooton's roof is not recorded, but as dawn broke they appeared together in the yard, and Prince Daemon helped Nettles saddle Sheepstealer one last time. It was her custom to feed him each day before she flew; dragons bend easier to their rider's will when full. That morning she fed him a black ram, the largest in all Maidenpool, slitting the ram's throat herself. Her riding leathers were stained with blood when she mounted her dragon, Maester Norren records, and "her cheeks were stained with tears." No word of farewell was spoken betwixt man and maid, but as Sheepstealer beat his leathery brown wings and climbed into the dawn sky, Caraxes raised his head and gave a scream that shattered every window in Jonquil's Tower. High above the town, Nettles turned her dragon toward the Bay of Crabs, and vanished in the morning mists, never to be seen again at court or castle.” -Fire & Blood

Or this(which has more of a real possibility of happening than Dumbnyra, oops I mean Daemyra, riding off into the sunset together since your fave turns into a BBQ Dragon special 🍗):

“The singers tell us that the old prince survived the fall and afterward made his way back to the girl Nettles, to spend the remainder of his days at her side.” -Fire & Blood

And of course this:

Again, if you guys think Dumbnyra, sorry, Daemyra is some epic romance then honey you are watching the wrong show/reading the wrong book. Daemon choking Rhaenyra’s lights out hours after she gave birth to lizard alone should have told you everything you need to know.

Nettles is coming whether you like it or not so you can go cry about it with the rest of the butthurt Aryan-I mean Valyrian supremacist girlies ☺️

[rdng1230]

Ted Lasso Season 3 Spoilers

Ya'll this season is so off to me. there are definitely lovely moments but so many storylines contain things that are just so out of character? Look I want Nate to have his redemption arc as much as the next gal, but where is all of this self confidence and kindness coming from? He wants to apologize to Ted in the elevator and then he won't even wave to Henry at the match? I get it Rupert intimidates him, but then why the hell would he invite him to his attempt at the diamond dogs if he knows Rupert wouldn't support that kind of vulnerability? And I get it healing isn't linear and you're gonna have backslide-y moments, but I don't really get what motivated Nate to start becoming a kinder/less self hating person in the first place. He's been nothing but rewarded for shitty behavior at West Ham. He doesn't seem to even be that sorry about what he did to Ted (and lets be real the entire team, that sign meant a hell of a lot to them). I just don't get it. It seems like he'd make that journey through love and encouragement of a supporting environment or to resist against a super toxic one, and Nate is somehow doing neither? Like how is he doing all this work without either a) recognizing Ruperts way of doing things is highly toxic and making a choice to not be like him b) Realizing that his own actions were very harmful and try to make amends c) receiving some other form of support that's helping him learn actual self love. And at least on screen none of those things have happened.

Then there's the whole thing with Jade, Who is this woman? It seems like we know nothing about her besides that she works for Taste of Athens and she doesn't care for Nate and suddenly one comment in defense of her workplace and she's his girlfriend? Suddenly she's swinging back and forth like a pendulum between that same cold aloofness as before and extreme warmth and understanding? I get that Nate has changed and that can be alluring, but I don't think we know enough about her to make that character development meaningful for *her* and not just for him. She is the only character I can think of that just feels like someone else's partner and not her own person. I'm not saying I need a whole Jade backstory, but she just doesn't even seem like a whole character. What is motivating her to go out with Nate all of a sudden? It's that question that makes that huge step forward for Nate feel hollow.

Then there's all these characters who I cannot figure out what their thematic value is. Shandy? She was introduced as this smart (if rough around the edges) friend of Keeley's and she turns out to be just a total psycho. For what purpose? what did Keeley learn? what did Shandy represent? To just not trust people? To not give people chances? Why spend so much time on that character just to tell a story that is just so not like this show. I do kinda get the point of Zava, you can't just win on one guys coattails, you have to learn to be a team, even though I think that story could've been way shorter. Then there's Jack, we're supposed to believe Keeley just doesn't know who gave her the money to start her business and then after finding out begins a relationship with that person? Especially this episode 8 there were so many moments where I was like Keeley for the love of god break up with this woman and then she just doesn't, despite Jack being so so so awful to her. It seems like we're giving Keeley so much more airtime just to tell the audience she's actually very incompetent, unconfident, and oblivious, despite the fact that the show has been telling us she's the exact opposite for two seasons. What is the fucking reason?

Even Ted has just been drifting for forever. I thought episode 6 was a turning point and he really got back into coaching, but now he's skipping practice and dinners with his son in order to stalk Michelle? What? I'd understand that behavior from season 1 or 2 Ted but Jesus we've got four episodes to clean all these storylines up and so far they've done nothing but create questions.

I just remember the first two seasons I felt like we were solving problems along the way, or at least laying the foundations for whatever growth needed to be done and I feel like we're 8 episodes in and the only direction we've moved is backward.

Like I said I still love this show, I loved the Amsterdam episode, I loved finally getting to meet Sam's dad in person, I love all of Jamie's amazing moments this season, I love that Bex is getting her little barbs in at Rupert, I love Beard and Henry's Hey Jude scene, I love Colin and Trent in Amsterdam (actually went to the homomonument yesterday because damn I love that scene so much, and my mom lives nearby) but they are not crafting this show the way they used to, and that makes me sad.

[dominimoonbeam]

Don’t Run - 9

This work is mine and I do not give consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted without my permission. I am sharing chapters as I work on this story but it is copyrighted material that I plan to rework and publish when completed.

you can find the series from the start over on patreon.

story tags: mobsters, romance, learning to trust, dark themes, bad childhood, arranged marriage, reference to past violence, reference to past murder

DON’T RUN - CHAPTER NINE.

Freya got no sleep with Adi in the apartment.

She tried, but even with the door locked there was no chance.

He was down the hall, in his own room.

She laid there and listened until the sun was almost up—until Adi was definitely moving around.

She gave up on sleep after he walked down the hall, past her door, and out of the apartment. Maybe she’d get lucky and her husband would sleep someplace else tonight.

Not for the first time, she had to think about whether that someplace else was Ezra’s apartment. She felt so stupid.

She hadn’t changed out of her clothes the night before, but she laced up her boots before unlocking her bedroom door and leaning out, giving the house another listen before sneaking to the front door.

They had a treaty of sorts, sure, but how far could she trust Adi Ellis? He’d break their agreement eventually, maybe even at the end of all this when he claimed he’d help her escape. No one was going to help Freya but Freya.

She grabbed her backpack and headed out, taking the elevator down to the lobby.

The doors chimed and slid open. Voices rolled in, almost stopping her from stepping out, but they weren’t any voices she recognized. Freya walked into the lobby just as a man in a suit slapped his palm to the counter.

Miles was standing on the other side of that counter, his lips pressed and his head tipped in apology. He shot Freya a quick glance and his usual head nod before returning his focus to the man in front of him, who hadn’t paused in his tirade about a missing package.

“Sir, again, all I can say is that there has been no delivery.”

“So, you’re saying the courier is a liar?” the suit ground out each word like he was asking if he was being told the world was flat.

Freya took a few steps, pitching an eyebrow.

“I can’t know that, sir. All I know is that no package arrived.”

The suit pushed away from the counter and spun for the door, clearly planning to storm out, only he collided with Freya first. It was just a fender bender of bodies, no wreckage or need for insurance companies to be involved, but he reeled back, arms up, like she’d spilled a beer down his front.

He was tall and well dressed. He looked like he belonged in the same places Adi did. In fact, his clothes looked like they could have been pulled from the same hyper-organized closet. Only he looked nothing like Adi and had none of the Ellis charm. His blond hair was slicked high and his tan storebought.

“Christ, who are you?” He twisted back to shoot Miles another sneer. “You know you’re not allowed to have family hanging around here, right?”

“She’s not—” Miles began but the suit was already throwing a hand back at him and finishing his storm out.

Freya blinked, watching him go and the doors gently slide shut behind him. There was no slamming those. “Who’s the asshole?” she asked, hands in her pockets.

Miles took a breath, annoyed but barely showing it. “Just another tenant, ma’am.”

“Freya,” she reminded, wondering if there was some sort of policy that kept Miles from divulging the asshole’s name to her. “Is that sort of thing normal?”

Miles glanced toward the door, the sunny morning outside, and then back to Freya. He shrugged one shoulder and smiled a little. It was one of the most noncommittal unanswering answers she’d ever gotten. Freya wasn’t sure if that meant yes or no, they’re usually worse.

Interesting. “Okay, I’ll bring you back something!” She left before he could tell her she didn’t need to.

The morning light was bright, making her squint once she was outside those tinted doors.

Gil, the mountain of a thug, looked down at her with a tight frown that spoke of the trouble she’d caused him the day before.

Freya nodded like she understood, like his stress was anything compared to her pending death sentence. “Yeah. So, I guess you’ll be accompanying me into the dressing rooms for now on?”

Gil continued to frown. “No, Mrs. Ellis. I was told there had been some understandings and that yesterday won’t be repeating itself.”

She rolled that around in her head, not sure she liked how it sounded, but kept a light expression and nodded because she’d learned not to show too much. She could be as offended as she wanted, but she wasn’t going to let anyone see it if she could help it. She needed to play nice if she was going to find another way out. “Well, great then.” She tapped his arm and then stepped around him.

A couple blocks away, still walking down the sidewalk, Freya pulled the wallet from the pocket of her jacket. It was real leather. She flipped it open. His ID was tucked between a black and a silver credit card. She thumbed it out. Henry Simms. The building asshole had a name. She tucked it back in before tugging out the cash and folding it into her palm. The wallet went into the inner pocket of her jacket while the cash went into the front pocket of her jeans. Simms was buying her breakfast.

She was almost to the café before remembering that there was a chance of running in Ezra there. How could a city be so big and so small at the same time? She had just decided to turn and find a new place, when a familiar figure pushed off a wall up ahead and turned toward her.

He looked out of place on the asphalt, his jacket and boots used to dirt and hard wind. She imagined he smelled like the woods and his hand rolled cigarettes.

Freya walked straight up to him, wondering if he had any of those cigarettes on him…

The brim of his hat cast a shadow over his face, but she still caught the curve of his smile.

“Clayton…” Did she stand out as badly as he did in Everton?

“Miss Frey.”

She waited. There was no chance he just happened to be in the neighborhood. Clayton worked for her aunt, just like his parents had before him. He was ruthless and could even keep some of her cousins in line when Aunt Sybil set him to the task.

“How are things goin?”

“What do you want?”

His smile grew. “I was told to check on you. Heard you tried to make a run for it…” He tipped his head to the side, to lay one blue eye on her. There’d been a time when she had nightmares about Clayton being the one dragging her out to that graveyard in the trees.

Freya stared back at him. “If I ran, I wouldn’t be standing here, would I?”

His gaze flicked over her. “I s’pose not…”

“So, unless you have something important to say, get the fuck out of my face before someone sees you.”

Clayton didn’t move and his smile didn’t waver. “Your aunt will be in town next week for the party… She expects you to have something useful for her by then.”

Freya’s heart squeezed in her chest, but she fought hard not to let any of that show. “You coming to the party, Clayton? Going to wear your fancy jeans and bring your formal guns?”

Clayton took a step closer, hip to one side and somehow turning her into the wall without even touching her. Fuck! Like she was a damn horse. “You going to dress up like one of them? Think living in that penthouse makes you different than you are? Should I be callin’ you Mrs. Ellis now?”

Freya pushed the heel of her palm to his chest, shoving hard but not really moving him. “I’m a fucking Morgan and you’d be smart to remember it.”

Clayton grinned, not taking a step back. “As long as you haven’t forgotten… Wouldn’t want you to start playing princess and need a reminder.”

Freya pushed at his chest again. “Get out of here. If I see you around again before the wedding party, I’ll shoot you myself.” Could she get away with that? Was that an option? …Maybe.

Clayton grinned like it definitely wasn’t. “I think I’ll be keeping an eye on you… Wouldn’t want you running.”

Freya hated how that sounded more like, “wouldn’t want to miss the chance to chase.”

“Freya?” a familiar voice asked, but for a split second she couldn’t place it. Ezra had never sounded like that before.

Freya’s heart jumped into her throat. She shouldn’t have cared one way or the other about Ezra anymore, not after he tricked her, but that didn’t stop the stab of panic at having him anywhere near Clayton.

Ezra stood beside them on the sidewalk, his hands out of his pockets and his expression hard. His gaze flicked over her before settling on Clayton, who was now staring right back at him.

There was a split second when Freya could practically feel Clayton deciding what to do—whether to escalate or not.

Ezra stared back at him, waiting for him to make that choice. Say something or step back.

Finally, he eased back. Aunt Sybil didn’t want a street war, not yet, and Clayton was a good dog.

But sometimes a good dog’s job was to bite.

Clayton tapped the brim of his hat, like he was some fucking gentleman and not the worst thug in her aunt’s arsenal.

He turned and walked away, not saying a damned thing.

Freya exhaled when he was down the street and around the corner.

Ezra stepped closer and his expression was the one she had been used to again, soft and open. “Are you okay? Who was that?”

She pushed past him and started down the street again, in the opposite direction as Clayton. “If Adi wants to know, he can ask me himself.”

“I tried to call you,” Ezra said, following her.

“I ignored you.”

“Freya, please give me a minute,” he asked.

It wasn’t what she expected. It wasn’t even a demand.

Freya stopped walking, she looked up the side of a building to squint at the sunny sky before sighing and turning around to face him. “What? What are you going to say? That you weren’t spying on me for Adi? Or do you want to rub it in?”

He winced but shook his head once. “No. But when I met you that first morning, I didn’t know who you were. I didn’t want to hang out with you to spy on you, but I did tell Adi I would later on and that was fucked up. I knew it as soon as we went on that date, and I told him afterward that I couldn’t do it and that I’d tell you the truth.”

Freya rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Okay. And why would you do that?”

Ezra blinked at her like he thought she’d understood something she clearly hadn’t. “Because I like you.”

She exhaled, feeling like he’d hit her. She took a step back. “You’re really still trying?”

He started to reach for her before thinking better of it and dropping his hand. “I won’t lie to you, and I won’t tell people things about you.”

She forced a laugh. “Even Adi?” She didn’t believe that for a second.

“I love Adi,” he said, the truth of it so naked and unabashed that it jarred her. “I’m not going to lie to him, but I won’t tell him things about you that you don’t want him to know either. Unless you’re plotting to kill him, of course… Then I kind of have to tell him.” He smiled carefully. It was actually a joke when he said it, where it had been a real possibility in Adi’s mouth.

Ezra didn’t think she was a danger.

That could be useful.

“You need a friend, Freya.”

“Is that what you want to be? My friend?” she shot back.

Ezra stared at her, the lightness in his expression again and a nearly-there smile playing at his lips. “If that’s all you want.”

Freya hated how easy it was to lean back into his charms. How had he done that? Maybe she was as stupid as they all thought she was…

Ezra’s almost-smile faded, like he could see the direction of her thoughts. “I’m sorry,” he said again and, god help her, she believed him. Maybe he was right, and she wasn’t dangerous. Maybe Ezra was the dangerous one.

“I can’t trust you,” she said.

“You can’t trust anyone, so what does it matter if you hang out with me?”

“Maybe I don’t want to.”

“Then say that and I’ll leave you alone.” He took a step closer, into her personal space, blocking her from the sunlight and wrapping her in his shadow. She could smell his bodywash. It was hard not to lean into him. “Tell me to fuck off,” he said, voice low because they were close enough for whispers now. His chin dipped, some of his light-brown hair falling into his eyes, but nothing stopping them from holding her gaze. “I didn’t know who you were when I started talking to you, Freya, and I’m not here to spy on you. I just like you.”

She wanted to call bullshit. Everyone either wanted to use her or bury her. No one had ever been a friend.

She leaned closer, breathing him in. She had seen a lot of scary things in her life, a lot of truly frightening people, but right then she thought Ezra was the most terrifying person she’d ever met. It felt like he could hurt her in ways that might make her choose the graveyard.

She took a step back and her chest ached when his expression fell, a flicker of hurt on his face like she’d been the one with the power. How? And why did it make her feel bad?

She turned and walked away from him before he could ask her to stop, every step wishing he would and praying he wouldn’t.

She pulled the thin metal case of hand-rolled cigarettes from her pocket. It had Clayton’s initials on it.

 -

 Ezra watched her go.

It was hard not to follow her, but he didn’t want her to feel like he wasn’t giving her a choice. If she wanted to walk away, he had to respect that. Freya Morgan was alone in unfriendly lands. The last thing he could bear to do would be to corner her.

He’d really fucked this up.

Although, to be fair, the whole situation was fucked up well before he ran into her in that café.

When she was out of sight, he crossed the street and marched the handful of blocks to his gym. He punched in the code and the door buzzed when it unlocked. The narrow hall echoed with the sound of fists hitting punching bags and heavy breathing.

The gym wasn’t much, but it was his. It had been a rundown boxing studio when it went up for sale. The previous owner had been hesitant to let it go, even though he couldn’t keep it open any longer himself. He had plenty of offers looking to gut the place and turn it into another café, restaurant, or shop. But it had been home to the local kids boxing club for three generations. Ezra had been one of those kids. He bought it for less than the other offers on the table but with a promise to keep the ring and the club schedules. Over the years, he’d cleaned the place up and cleared out the junk clogging the loft overlooking that main floor to put in more treadmills and stationary bikes. The boxing ring was new, along with the mats and the punching bags, but the weights and the benches were the same as when he’d been a kid.

The place was pretty empty after the early morning group and before the lunch break trainers. Sterling was in the office at the back of the room, drinking coffee from a Big Gulp cup and doing paperwork. She lifted an arm to wave at him through the windows before swiveling back to the desk.

Ezra waved back even though she hadn’t looked long enough to catch it.

He was surprised to see Adi in the gym, occupying the left side corner and beating a bag like it had insulted one of his sisters.

Ezra hadn’t seen his car out front. Had he walked? Or maybe he parked around back?

Adi had a gym in his apartment building and memberships to the nicest places in town, but he’d been the first to sign up at Ezra’s gym. Adi had wanted to buy the whole place for him when he was first talking about the idea. Ezra had refused and almost bailed on the whole plan. Adi had seen it and changed tactics, going back to just being excited about the idea and then eventually suggesting he be an investor. It would make them business partners.

Adi swung at the bag, working imaginary ribs with his knuckles, again and again.

Partners.

Friends.

Ezra and Adi had been in plenty of fights, but they were always on the same side.

Adi dropped his arms, hair sticking to the sweat on his temples. He had on sweats and a tank top. In fact, he had on Ezra’s clothes. He either came from the apartment or he’d raided his locker. He pivoted to look at Ezra, still dragging deep breaths. “Why are you staring at me?” he smiled around the question, despite that deep exhaustion in his eyes.

Adi had been looking increasingly tired lately. Not the kind of tired that could be resolved with better sleep, either. It was something in his soul. His life was wearing down parts of him and Ezra didn’t know how to fix that. He’d suggested they leave plenty of times, both jokingly and seriously. Just bail on their lives and their businesses. Just pack up and go. But they both knew Adi couldn’t leave his family.

“Because you’re going to bust that bag,” he lied.

Adi grinned. “I’ll buy you a new one if I do.”

Ezra rolled his eyes, unimpressed. He nudged the still swaying sandbag.

“Come to the party with me?” Adi asked and it sounded sudden, like even he hadn’t expected it to come out of his mouth.

“Which party?”

“All of them,” he said automatically, smiling and taking a step closer. “Next weekend. Saturday.”

Ezra touched Adi’s chest, over his heart, feeling it slam against his palm. “You mean you’re wedding party?”

Adi shrugged. “It’s not like she doesn’t know, and everyone else we know is going to be there. It would be weird if you weren’t.”

Ezra doubted Freya wanted him there and it had nothing to do with Adi’s feelings about him. But, then again, it was probably going to be a party busting at the seams with enemies for both of them. “Yeah, okay.”

Adi’s gaze shot to his. “Really?”

It was Ezra’s turn to grin. His hand slid up, over Adi’s neck and then around to the back of it to grab hold and drag him forward. There was a flicker of surprise on Adi’s face when he was pulled almost off balance, into Ezra’s chest. Ezra loved when Adi looked surprised. It was rare.

He kissed him, soft for a split-second before pressing harder and adding tongue. Ezra grabbed his hip with his other hand, pulling Adi flush against him and eliciting a moan.

“Fuck,” Adi panted against his lips. “I’m all sweaty… You’re going to mess up your clothes…”

“So?” Ezra countered between kisses. “I’ll steal yours.”

Adi groaned against his lips, squeezing his side and rolling his hips into his.

The lock on the front door buzzed before the heavy door was pulled open, voices mid-conversation echoing down the hall.

Ezra squeezed the back of Adi’s neck, kissing him right up until those footfalls were close before breaking contact. Adi stared at him, still breathless but it was no longer from his workout. “I’m going to go shower and then we can get lunch…”

Ezra nodded, watching him back away and then turn—watching him tuck a sly smile into the corner of his mouth when he went for the employee locker room instead of the members one where the other people were going.

With a groan, he followed, trying not to look too hurried. He hit the stereo on his way, flooding the gym with music so that no one would hear the door locking behind him.

[magicianpanache]

Reading Midnight Sun: Chapter 12

The chapter starts with a very arousing biology video, during which Edward almost eats Bella. It’s symbolic, you see. We know from Twilight that Bella had just as hard a time to resist touching Edward than Edward does now. They like each other. They think like each other.

Not going to lie, this segment is really weird, as if they were watching a porno in class, but the thing arousing them is being in the dark. We have this little gem afterwards:

My tactile sense was better developed than a human’s: I could juggle a dozen crystal goblets without breaking any of them; I could stroke a soap bubble without popping it.

Edward strokes his ego counter: 7

Follows an example of the biggest problem with SM’s writing.

Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral. Temporary. 

Bella was already being compared to a soap bubble. We don’t need SM to make the metaphor explicit. We know Edward is comparing the two. It’s really annoying because it bloats the text. I think that’s why Edward comes off as so arrogant. SM always has to make sure we understand what’s going on. She doesn't trust her writing to show Edward is delicate. Like when he speaks with Emmett:

Under my breath—and at a speed that would have made the words incomprehensible to a human—I explained to him what I wanted. 

Edward strokes his ego counter: 8

Why would Edward notice he’s speaking faster than humans can comprehend ? That’s like me noticing I’m moving faster than a sloth. It’s not on my mind that often. But SM has to make sure we know vampires are in every way superior to humans.

Edward then does something really nice, pretending to be into Angela in front of Ben to get Ben to ask her out. Of course, he only does it because he feels like he owes Angela for giving him an excuse to be alone with Bella, and because it’s nice to read her mind to spy on Bella.

Edward spies on her in gym, and when Bella learns about it and gets upset, Edward, as usual, blames her (you told me I’d never seen you in gym class! I had to know what you meant !). When Bella asks him for an apology he means, and for him not to do it again:

I wasn’t going to lie to her, and there was no way I was agreeing to that. Perhaps if I offered her a different exchange.

He tells her he’ll let her drive in exchange for forgiveness. As if he alone should be the one to decide who drives. 

What do you see in that guy, Bella ? Seriously. There are other hot guys out there.

When Bella agrees, he give an shitty apology (0/6 elements of a good apology)

Edward explains to us he really wants to be human. Of course, he can’t just want to be human. He has to want it the most.

None of us, not even Rosalie, had ever been as desperate for a way back as I was now.

Edward strokes his ego counter: 9

When Edward arrives back home, he, very surprisingly, apologizes to Rosalie. Of course, it’s a terrible apology that hits 2/6 elements of an effective apology (better than Bella's !), but it’s an apology nonetheless. 

We then gets a more in depth explanation of Rosalie’s anger.

I could see how much her judgment was clouded by her jealousy of the girl. It was more now than the fact that I found Bella so much more compelling than I had Rosalie. Her jealousy had twisted and shifted focus. Bella had everything Rosalie wanted. She was human. She had choices. Rose was outraged that Bella would put this in jeopardy, that she would flirt with the darkness when she had other options.

In this, we can remark a few things. First of all, Edward doesn’t tell us how he arrived at this conclusion. Just like last time, he doesn’t tell us what thoughts Rosalie has that makes him deduce the source of her anger. Furthermore, he assumes that what he hears of her thoughts is a complete analysis of her state of mind, when his gift only lets him hear surface thoughts. Why does he think that before it was only about the fact Edward found Bella "more compelling" (not prettier: more compelling) ? Maybe Rosalie had a ton of other reasons he didn't hear, since he never asked.

He also ignores things that don’t fit into his world view. Notice that he never tells us that Rosalie is angry at him. No, she’s jealous of Bella. Her trauma isn’t being triggered by the fact another young woman her age will lose her future without her consent. No, she’s jealous of Bella. I’m not saying Rosalie hasn’t thought about how much she wished she was in Bella’s place, but Edward reduces her anger, despair and fear to jealousy, which is very simplistic of him.

During their fight, Edward takes the blame for Bella knowing (after blaming Jacob) when Carlisle appears to talk with Edward.

Conclusion

Edward is fundamentally incapable of doing anything selflessly. When he helps Angela, it’s because he owes her. When he takes care of the rapists, it’s because he’s angry they hurt something someone he cares about (see the distinction with them hurting someone he cares about). Taking care of the rapists is for Edward’s emotional satisfaction, not for Bella or society's safety.

Also, why is it that Bella and Edward really seem to get on each other’s nerves all the time. This is supposed to be a love story.

[sekhisadventures]

On the Nature of Souls

Valdrakken, a Room Above the Roasted Ram, Early Morning on the Second Day After Dissonantia’s Attack

Grimo was grinning ear to ear as he examined the fang that Jaie had gotten him, his goggles scanning it intensely as he nodded. “Yeah… yeah this is genuine one hundred percent high grade demon bits! Yer sure it was his?” he asked.

Jaie sat in her bed, the pandaren in a long white nightdress as she sipped from a mug of herbal tea the innkeeper had brewed for her. An ancient pandaren remedy that she’d taught them over the course of her time in Valdrakken. They had been worried that the dragonflights and their allies would be hesitant to trust mortals, but the drakonoids seemed insatiably curious about creatures from outside the isles. Jaie had made fast friends with the innkeeper, who was eager to learn all he could about modern cooking techniques from her.

“Yeah… I don’t really remember it… but Nelen told me I basically beat Az’arad to a pulp while I was all hopped up on Zhan-min’s brew.” she chuckled in a tired way, she still had deep bags under her eyes but she couldn’t sleep forever. Nitika knew the most about healing however, and had flat out insisted she stay in bed for the next several days after her ordeal. Almost losing her soul and almost being blown to bits by Raszageth’s power? It was a miracle she had survived at all!

If Grimo’s grin got any bigger, his head would fall off. “HAHA! YES! FUCKIN’ FINALLY!” he shouted triumphantly as Jaie winced, “This is perfect! I gotta get my ass back ta Bilgewater ‘n get to work NOW! Oh man Jaie I could fuckin’ KISS ya!” he cackled.

Jaie sighed, “Please don’t. Your breath is the stuff of nightmares.” she replied.

Grimo didn’t even hear her, the goblin already out the door and halfway down the stairs, making a beeline for the portal back to Orgrimmar! He was so focused on finishing his detection tool that he almost collided with Shalandrae and someone else on the stairs!

The druidess frowned at him, then shook her head in an annoyed way and walked to Jaie’s door, knocking gently on it. “Jaie, are you okay for another visitor? I’d understand if you need a break after Grimo…” she smiled at her.

Jaie nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine. I can’t sleep anymore… what is it Shalandrae?” she asked.

“Well, you remember how yesterday after you woke up you said that Dissonantia had tricked you into believing she was someone else… by being in her human form? Because none of us had ever seen her that way before?” she asked.

Jaie nodded, “Yeah… she looked way too young to be over a hundred years old. She didn’t have her horns or wings in that form either, she can hide them when she’s not a worgen!” she said, putting her mug down on the nightstand.

Shalandrae nodded, then beckoned her companion in as a faint clip clop sounded on the hardwood floor, and a draenei wearing the tabard of the Dragonscale Expedition entered. “Jaie, this is Aziguni, the draenei woman I met in the Ohn’ahran Plains that day we saw Raszageth for the first time.” she said.

Aziguni smiled at her, “I apologize for interrupting your recovery Miss Swiftpaw, but when Shalandrae told me the details of your encounter I felt my skills may be needed.” she explained, taking her book from her belt and opening it, showing Jaie several pages of wildlife sketches. Drawings of the barkar hunting hounds of the centaur, an ottusk standing next to a lifelike sketch of its Tuskaar companion, and the like. “I am used to drawing animals for my research records, but I am equally able to draw humanoids. If you can describe this warlock’s human form in detail, I may be able to make a sketch of her so that your allies will know what to watch for if she attempts to fool them again.”

Jaie grinned, “That’s a great idea! I mean, a ‘red haired Gilnean woman with a thick accent’ doesn’t narrow it down much…” she chuckled, nodding to a chair near her bed as Aziguni pulled it close. The draenei sat down on the chair, crossing her legs and propping the book against them as she opened it to a blank page and took out a charcoal stick.

“Now then Miss Swiftpaw, please, as much detail as you are able to remember…” she nodded as Shalandrae leaned into the wall to watch, curious as to how well the draenei would be able to match the reality of Dissonantia’s human form.

In the dining area below, Nelen was hard at work researching the nature of souls. He had been horrified to find out that Dissonantia had actually succeeded in casting her soul-stealing spell upon Jaie, but at the same time confused as to how in the world she had managed to resist it! He certainly wasn’t complaining, but he had to know if it was a one-time fluke, or if it was something about the cave she’d cast it in, or what… after all, Dissonantia would likely try it again eventually.

That being said, after yesterday it could be a very big eventually. It was quite likely that Dissonantia would have gone to ground after Jaie’s display of martial arts might and elemental power. The warlock likely had no idea how she’d done that and would wait until she’d be certain it wouldn’t happen again before returning.

Next to him was Edwood Vargas, who was muttering over Nelen’s copy of ‘The Inscrutable Nature of Being,’ a treatise written by an ancient Kirin Tor magi on soulcrafting and how magic could affect that part of a person.

To his right was Zhan-min, who had offered to help… but had found out pretty quickly that unless it involved elemental powers or alecrafting that he was pretty useless at research. He sighed, looking into his mug of ale. He felt horribly guilty about what had happened to Jaie. Even if it had worked out for the better in that she’d forced Dissonantia into retreat and even managed to acquire one of Az’arad’s fangs… well… Jaie had almost died because of him. It was enough to make him want to hang up his maces.

Nelen sighed, lowering his own copy of ‘Souls and Their Power’ onto the table, taking off his glasses and rubbing at his tired eyes. He’d been up late into the evening and had barely slept trying to crack the secret of Jaie’s inexplicable resistance to Dissonantia’s fel magic.

“It doesn’t make sense… I mean, I’m happy it happened. Incredibly so… but how on earth did Jaie manage to avoid having her soul ripped away? From what she told us Dissonantia hit her point blank with the spell. There’s no precedent for escaping something like that in any of my tomes…” he sighed.

Edwood shrugged, “Search me matey. I try ta stay away from it myself. Strikes too close ta what Arthas…” he paused and hocked a wad of something into a spittoon with a bell-like chime, “… did to us. That’s why I practice th’ school o’ Destruction. I’m basically a fire mage who stopped givin’ a shite.” he chuckled.

A cackle came from his shoulder where Guzzle sat. Edwood had been worried when the second floor of the Inn had been blown apart, but after the battle Guzzle had been located stuck in a snowdrift in the abandoned outpost. The blast had flung him out of the building entirely.

Zhan-min grunted, then downed the last of his ale and stood up, “Mm… ‘scuse me boys. Need ta take a ‘study break’ as it were…” he mumbled, heading to the door.

Nelen sighed as he watched him go. Jaie had already forgiven him. After all while the brew had almost killed her, it was because she’d overdosed due to Guzzle getting distracted and it had allowed her to free herself. From what she said the power it gave her let her rip the chains apart on her own… but while Jaie had forgiven him, Zhan-min hadn’t forgiven himself.

He ambled out of the bar into the crowded streets of the city, walking along through the throng of people towards the crafter’s area… the as he passed a bridge he paused, looking over as the sound of a familiar flute reached his ears. “Hm?” he blinked.

Across the bridge was the Little Scales Daycare, where dragon whelps spent most of their days in the city. It was like something out of a storybook. A small play area set up on one part of the platform, a nap area with huge cushions, a large collection of storybooks, and toys strewn about everywhere.

Sitting amid some of the whelps was Sekhi, playing on her flute for them as the infant dragons watched her curiously.

She paused as her ears flicked, then looked up, “Oh! Hi Zhan-min!” she waved to him, then looked to the dragons. “Sorry, I think I gotta go for a bit. I’ll come play some more music for ya guys later okay?” she smiled, getting to her feet as the young whelplings chattered excitedly and waved her goodbye, the vulpera walking across the bridge to her friend.

“Heh, you ‘n yer music Sekhi…” he smiled, “I wish that was my thing right now, but I’m all thumbs when it comes ta instruments. Can’t carry a tune ta save my life… or anyone else’s…” he sighed.

Sekhi pouted at him, her ears folding back. “Zhan… it wasn’t yer fault. Ya did warn Jaie, ‘n your thingy prolly saved her from Dissonantia’s demons…” she said.

Zhan-min snorted, “Yeah… fat lotta good it did… saved her from th’ demons only ta almost blow her up.” he muttered.

Sekhi frowned, “Yeah, almost! We fixed it though! Ya helped me, remember? We sent Raszageth’s spirit-stuffs back up inta th’ storms! She’s really, truly free now ‘n Jaie is gonna be all better soon!” she nodded.

Zhan-min shrugged, “Eh… I dunno… I just… feelin’ like maybe I shouldn’t do brewin’ no more if there’s that big a risk ta it.” he frowned.

Sekhi shook her head at him, “Zhan-min… your beer makin’ is how you do your shaman stuffs… every shaman has their own way of connectin’ to th’ elements, your’s is that.” she nodded, “Ya can’t give it up! It’d be like me throwin’ away all my instruments!”

Zhan-min shrugged, “Eh, I mean… I don’t wanna but…” he trailed off, looking away from the fox-like shamaness. “I feel like maybe I should after that…”

Sekhi frowned at him, then walked around behind him and held out a fingertip, whistling under her breath. As Zhan-min looked away, lost in his own self-loathing, Sekhi charged her finger with lightning and jabbed him firmly in the midsection!

There was a sudden sharp crack and the pandaren man jumped in shock, “G-GAH! W-what’d ya’ll do that for?!” he demanded, turning to face her as he rubbed where she’d touched him. The charge in Sekhi’s fingertip hadn’t been enough to injure him, but it’d still hurt!

Sekhi huffed, “ ‘cause you’re bein’ a doof!” she yipped at him, frowning… then her expression softened. “Jaie forgave ya. Ya can’t ask for more ‘n that… ‘n she wouldn’t want ya ta give up brewin’ ‘cause one brew turned out bad…” she nodded, “ ‘n besides… you’re a yippin’ shaman! Brewin’ is how ya talk to th’ elements. Ya can’t quit ‘n still be a shaman… ‘n I don’t think ya want to!”

Zhan-min sighed, then rolled his shoulders, “Mnn… I don’t… but…” he muttered.

Sekhi jabbed him again, in the belly this time, but Zhan-min didn’t feel that one. They didn’t call him ‘Irontummy’ for nothing after all. “BUT NOTHIN’!” she barked, “Tell Jaie. Tell her, to her yippin’ FACE, ya wanna quit makin’ beer.” she frowned, “Better yet, tell Galdia…” she smirked, raising her eyebrow.

Zhan-min winced imagining how that would go. Jaie would get upset, she’d insist that Zhan-min keep doing it, she’d go on about how his brews were one of the reasons she wanted him to join Avalon in the first place! Galdia… he turned a little green under the fur as he imagined how the beer-guzzling mag’har would react to news of his retirement. “Ah… hah… maybe ya’ll got a point there lil’ missy…” he muttered.

Sekhi giggled, wagging her tail behind her, “Yupyup!” she nodded, “Look, ya wanna take a break then take a yippin’ break… but don’t say ya gonna quit so easy. Ya might as well say you’ll stop bein’ a shaman.” she nodded as she smiled at him, then she looked up as her ears perked up. Above them flew… well… it was pretty disturbing looking, but then it was basically a horse fly that was actually the size OF a horse.

“… ew…” winced Sekhi, “I wish he’d find a new one…” she muttered.

The giant insect came in for a landing at the stables and its rider dismounted. He stretched, paid a rather unhappy looking drakonoid for the mount’s lodging as it clicked at him and tried to lick the stablemaster with it’s proboscis, then he ambled towards the entrance to the Roasted Ram. As he did he hummed an old song under his breath… in trollish.

Edwood and Nelen looked up as they felt his aura before they saw him, and Ed grinned widely. “Ahoy there matey!” he waved.

“ ‘ey mon! Heard ya had some fun wit da queen bitch in da Span!” said Mola’raum as he walked into the bar, his spear balanced over his shoulder as the runes on it glowed with a sickly green energy. The Maldraxxi troll walked to the table and flopped his long gangly body down in a chair.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it to da party wolf mon.” he shrugged at Nelen, “I be dealin’ wit’ dem Djaradin up north when de call went out. Can’t be answerin’ me gemstone in da middle o’ a buncha giants.” he nodded apologetically. “Nitts be tellin’ me wut happened…” he said, suddenly more serious, “Dissonantia tried ta take Jaie’s fookin’ soul?” he asked.

Nelen nodded, “Yeah, and somehow Jaie was able to resist it.” he replied, “But I’ll be damned if I can work out HOW! Ed and I have been going over tomes all bloody morning…”

Mola’raum raised an eyebrow, then smirked. “Uh… I know how she be doin’ it mon.” he grinned.

Nelen’s head jerked up as he locked eyes with the death knight, Edwood looking at him rather intensely as well. “How?” asked the worgen, rather pointedly.

Mola’raum chuckled, “Wolfmon, ya remember wut be happenin’ in da Shadowlands right? How we joined up with da covenants ta stop Zovaal…” he grinned at him. “Remember wut dey did so ya could stand toe ta toe with ‘is Mawsworn?” he asked with a smirk.

Nelen frowned, but Edwood grinned suddenly, “… ah… o’ course! No wonder Jaie fought it off!” he cackled, “It wasn’t JUST her!”

Nelen looked at his former schoolmate, then at Mola’raum as the troll smirked at him. “… okaaaaaay, I feel as though I’m missing something here. Fill me in?” he asked.

Mola’raum grinned, “Da soulbondin’ ritual wolfmon.” he smirked as Nelen’s eyebrows went up. “Dissonantia never did it, remembah? She say she didn’t fookin’ need it… but ya did, ‘n so did da rest of us…”

Nelen nodded slowly, closing his tome carefully. “Of course… no wonder it wasn’t in any of my tomes… none of these magi ever went to the Shadowlands until after they died…” he whispered.

Mola’raum chuckled, “Ya mon! It be one of da reasons de covenants started doin’ it in da first place! Azeroth not be da first world where de Kyrian had ta worry bout soul-suckin’ warlocks!” he said, “… eh… no offense Ed.” he added.

Edwood chuckled, “Aye, I get it Mola… but aye, that’d do it. First bloody thing th’ Maldraxxi told me when it was me turn fer th’ ritual… Soulbonds are forever.” he nodded.

Mola’raum grinned, “Bingo bruddah.” he said, “When Dissonantia started yankin’ on her soul, whoever she be bonded ta back in Ardenweald be feelin’ it… ‘n dey yank back! Ol’ Dis never had ta win a game o’ tug o’ war ta get a soul before!”

Nelen let out a sigh of relief, “Thank Gordrinn… I was afraid it was a fluke or something… but if anyone who’s soulbonded is immune to her power…” he started, but Mola’raum suddenly looked deadly serious as he held up a mail-covered hand.

“Woah mon. I nevah said we be immune ta havin’ ‘em taken.” he warned, “Soulbondin’ HELP, but all it mean is dat Dis gotta overpower TWO souls ta get our’s. She still be Dissonantia, she strong enough ta do that if she be figurin’ out why it didn’t work…”

Nelen frowned, “… damn… you’re right. Still, knowing my bond to Dacures back in Revendreth can help me fight that off definitely makes me feel better.” grinned the magus. Dacures had been a rather scholarly Venthyr that Nelen had made friends with during their time in the Shadowlands, and after a long night of academic pursuit the vampiric man had offered the soulbond to ensure that they would remain connected in their love of learning.

Mola’raum nodded back, “Ya mon. De only one dat likely be totally immune to it be me… ‘n I wouldn’t be recommendin’ how I did dat one.” he smirked, “De death ritual… well… it fookin’ hurt fer one.” he nodded.

Nelen winced at that. As a death knight his soul was permanently bonded to his own body ensuring that, even if he died, he would return a few days later unless his form was totally and utterly destroyed. He was basically his own phylactery, a ghost possessing his own corpse. “Mmm… I think I’ll pass…” agreed Nelen.

Above them, in her room, Jaie peered over at Aziguni’s sketchbook, nodding. “The chin was… yeah, just a bit more pointed there… and the nose was sort of… prominent. Not huge, but… definitely noticeable… and… yeah, YEAH! That’s her!” she said, “Wow… you really are good at this…” she whispered.

Aziguni smirked, “I have lived for many many centuries Miss Swiftpaw. I have had, how do you say… a lot of practice.” she replied, tearing the page out and handing it to Shalandrae. “Here you are my friend. Your worgen nemesis, without her fur.”

Staring up from the page was a lifelike image of a human woman in monochrome, with a few annotations by Aziguni. A line to her hair reading ‘red’ and her eyes reading ‘hazel’ and such, but so realistic that Shalandare could almost imagine the drawing winking at her. “Excellent, thank you SO much Aziguni! This is going to help us out a lot!” she grinned, “Dissonantia won’t be able to use her human form against us now…" she paused, looking back down at the drawing with a frown, "... and it would have worked too. I wouldn’t have looked twice at this face in Stormwind…” she said, a chill going down her spine.

Had Dissonantia used her human form before to spy on them? They’d have never known if she had, she had always insisted on remaining a worgen the entire time she’d been part of Avalon. None of them knew the truth of Dissonantia’s immortality, the had no idea she’d cracked the secret of anima. They just knew she consumed souls to extend her life. For all they knew this is what she’d always looked like in her human guise.

Shalandrae nodded, then ducked down the stairs to share the drawing with Nelen and the others, knowing the magus would be able to use his own scribe techniques and arcane magic to make copies of it to share among the members of Avalon and Savage United with ease.

Jaie watched her go, then glanced at Aziguni, then smirked and laid back in her bed. “Just ask her.” she giggled.

Aziguni blushed, glancing at Jaie. “Er… I beg your pardon Miss Swiftpaw?” she asked.

“Jaie. Just Jaie.” she grinned, “And just ask her. I saw how you were looking at her when she left. I may still be punch drunk from what happened, but I’m not blind…”

Aziguni blushed, then gathered up her things. “… perhaps, when the world is not in danger…” she said, “I mean, I still have my duties to the Dragonscale Expedition. I cannot be doing those when I am distracted…” she protested, tucking her charcoal stick and her book away.

Jaie smirked knowingly, “I dunno, you seem pretty distracted right now…” she said, then yawned, “Buuuuuuut… I could use a nap after all that… just, think about it okay? Shalandrae has been through a lot these past few years… she deserves a win.” she murmured, curling up under the blankets.

Aziguni chuckled softly and walked to the door, closing it gently behind her. Then she glanced at her sketchbook and opened it up, showing another portrait she’d drawn recently from memory. It showed Shalandrae, smiling at the viewer.

“So… I am what you would consider a ‘win’ then?” she smirked, tucking it away, “… perhaps… perhaps…” she shrugged.

Next Story

Previous Story

[sarahscribbles]

Tiny Blessings

Summary: Growing up within the royal palace of Asgard, you learned magic alongside Loki and his mother Frigga. After Frigga’s death, you find a way into the dungeons to comfort her broken son

Genre: Hurt/Comfort (?)

Loki x f!Asgardian reader

AN: I've written Loki very soft in this, mainly because I wanted to write his vulnerable side and show that he actually does have a heart, so if that's not your thing you may want to skip this one. This one also refused to cooperate fully with me so my apologies if it falls a little flat.

The thundering of footsteps along the palace hallways made your blood run cold. You froze, half turning from the small flames licking the basin, the beginnings of the spell dying on your lips.

Who had betrayed you?

The plan had been Frigga’s secret, a secret she had willingly shared with you when it became clear that no amount of begging and pleading was going to change Odin’s mind and permit you to visit Loki. Who had overheard your whispered conversations? Who had come across you both hidden away in the library in the dead of night poring over texts of ancient magic? Who could have put the pieces together and recognised what you were doing?

With a swipe of your hand you extinguished the flames, adopting what you hoped was an expression of quiet outrage, and waited for Odin’s guards to burst through the doors of your bedchamber. He had no definitive proof of your intention to break the energy barrier and gain access to Loki, it would be your word against that of whatever servant had broken your trust, and you still held some sway as the fiancée of the youngest prince.

When the heavy footsteps continued past your chamber and along the hallway, your shoulders sagged in relief. It had been ridiculous to believe that someone could have unearthed Frigga’s plan that had been months in the making. The late queen had been meticulous in ensuring there was no possible way Odin would discover her intentions, and you knew she wouldn’t have dreamed of sharing the spell with you if there was any risk, no matter how miniscule, that Odin had even an inkling of suspicion of what you both were plotting.

You knew that Odin’s stubbornness in refusing to allow you or Frigga to visit the cell was to punish Loki, but it had felt like an attempt to punish you. Like the rest of Asgard you’d believed Loki had died when he let himself fall off the Bifrost. You had mourned him deeply, having to permanently move out of the room you had both shared in the palace with all its constant reminders of him. To find out months later that he was still alive on Midgard but being unable to go to him had been cruel, but to then have him on Asgard, a mere 15 minutes from the palace and free of the control of the Mind Stone, was torture like nothing else.

While it had given you some degree of comfort to know that Frigga had been visiting him through astral protection, something you had been too cowardly to attempt yourself, it wasn’t enough. An illusion of yourself wasn’t going to provide him with the comfort you knew he desperately needed, an illusion wasn’t able to hold him. It had taken a week since Frigga’s funeral for you to gather up the courage to attempt the spell, your desperate longing to see Loki after two years overpowering your fear of Odin’s wrath.

With another swipe of your hand you reignited the flames in the basin. You knew that, if successful, the spell would not only allow you to breach the energy barrier but would also cast an illusion strong enough that the prison guards would be none the wiser to your presence. You sent up a silent prayer of thanks to Frigga. Thanks for the creation of a spell that would reunite you with the man you loved, thanks for imparting her wisdom on you, but most of all thanks for her bright and loving soul that moulded you into the witch you were today.

Without Frigga you wouldn’t have fallen in love with Loki, or built your powers to what they were, and it had all started with a scattering of purple sparks.

oOo

You were five years old and playing contentedly with a seven year old Prince Loki on the floor of his mother’s dressing chamber. The young prince had been entrusted with the very important task of keeping you entertained while your mother and a host of the queen’s other ladies helped Frigga get dressed.

You cherished this morning routine with your mother. Soon after the first rays of the morning sun rose above Asgard she would gently rouse you from sleep, coaxing your small body from the warm bed by asking if you really wanted to keep the queen waiting and that Loki may have found someone else to play with if you didn’t get up. The very idea of Frigga’s disappointment or Loki’s absence was always enough to prise you from your tangled sheets, and bleary eyed you would follow your mother through the familiar halls of the palace to Frigga’s chambers.

You adored spending time in Frigga’s company. She was an uncommonly kind woman for someone of royal status and her warm and gentle nature made you gravitate towards her like she was the sun. Your mother had told you many stories of Asgards queen. Not only was Frigga a fierce warrior when circumstances called on her to help protect the realm, but she was also a master sorceress, and elements of her magic could be seen sprinkled throughout the palace.

It wasn’t only powerful magic she was capable of; she frequently performed silly little tricks for both you and Loki, and your eyes would watch in wonder as she made objects fly around the room or teased you both with duplications of herself. Often you would run to hug her only to have her vanish like smoke between your fingertips, followed by the sound of her musical laughter as she swept you into her arms from behind.

Her tricks were something she eventually shared with Loki and you grew progressively more jealous each time he would make fireworks erupt from his palm or transfigure one object into another. You wanted to make sparks dance on your fingertips and objects whizz around the room with a flick of your finger. Time and time again Loki had tried to teach you the magic Frigga had imparted on him, but no matter how hard you tried fireworks never erupted from your fingers.

“You have to really, really, imagine it!” He continued instructing as Frigga’s ladies bustled in and out of the room. “Really imagine your favourite colour speeding down your arm. Look, like this!” He held out his hand and with ease an emerald green firework erupted from the palm of his hand.

You nodded childishly, your little face scrunched up in concentration. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused on the steady beat of your heart, imagining that, instead of pumping blood, it was pumping purple sparks steadily through your veins. For a moment there was the usual nothingness, then a slight tingle in your arm followed by Loki’s amazed gasp indicated that something was happening that hadn’t happened before.

“You’re doing it! Open your eyes!” His voice was full of unbridled joy and a small inkling of pride.

Snapping your eyes open you saw faint purple sparks dancing on your fingertips. It was nothing like the displays you had seen Loki conjure, but it was something. You watched your fingertips in awe, the sparks never seeming to flicker out.

“You’ve made me magic, Loki!” You exclaimed with childish innocence, both of you beaming at the gift you now both shared.

“We’ve got to show my mama!” Loki declared, jumping to his feet and grabbing your wrist to pull you to yours. “You could be a witch like her!” He said, his voice laden with excitement as he dragged you into Frigga’s inner chamber.

Loki confidently squirmed his way through the small crowd of ladies attending to his mother, secure in the knowledge that his royal status protected him from scrutiny. You, on the other hand, folded in on yourself, uncomfortable with all the eyes of Frigga’s ladies being focused solely on you. You saw your own mother shoot you a disapproving look and shrank even further into yourself. Despite Frigga’s kindheartedness you were fearful that your sudden and unexpected intrusion to her morning routine would earn you a scolding.

Loki, however, remained unbothered by the attention you both had brought on yourselves and pulled you eagerly to his mother’s side. “Mama! Mama, look! I made her magic!” Loki said eagerly. His eyes danced between you and Frigga, silently instructing you to show her what you could do.

You stood frozen in front of Frigga, your five year old terrified that it had been a one time occurrence and any further attempts to make those purple sparks dance on your fingertips would fail. Then, not only would you have to deal with your embarrassment in front of Frigga, but your mother would also have your head for embarrassing her in front of the ladies of the court.

You looked fearfully at Loki, hoping he could read the panic in your eyes, but his were only filled with excitement and pride. Even at the tender age of five you craved his approval, so you swallowed your fear and scrunched up your face as before, imagining once again that your veins were full of purple sparks. The tingling in your arm happened quicker this time and you knew without opening your eyes that those sparks were erupting on your fingertips, Frigga’s shriek of delight and clapping of her hands only serving as confirmation.

“Oh, my darling child, how wonderful!” She exclaimed, beaming at you. “Showing an affinity for magic at such a young age is a sign of a powerful sorceress. This is a gift that shouldn’t be squandered.” She let her hand rest on your cheek and turned to your mother. “With your permission I would like to teach her alongside my Loki. Magic is too precious to be suppressed.”

Your heart soared. Every night you fell asleep to thoughts of Frigga teaching you her magic. You had ached for it, wanting desperately to be like Loki. You had imagined Frigga sweeping into your parents chambers and insisting that you learn how to be a witch. Was it really possible that your dreams were now about to come true? You looked eagerly at your mother, holding your breath as you waited for her to answer.

She gave you a small knowing smile. “Of course, my lady. It would be an honour.” Your mother answered, and you yanked yourself from Frigga’s embrace to throw your arms around her. The gods had finally answered your prayers and Frigga herself was going to mould you into a powerful sorceress.

That day had heralded a new chapter in your life as Frigga took you under her loving tutelage. Alongside Loki, Frigga imparted her magic and wisdom to you both. She started out small, firstly teaching you how to conjure small objects and make them move around the room. As you and Loki grew older, the magic she taught you both became more complex. She taught you spells for healing, how to project a mirror image of yourself to any location in the palace, how to levitate, and how to control and direct energy blasts. The lessons became increasingly more challenging as you both grew, always taking more and more out of you, but you were determined to become even half as powerful as Frigga herself.

After one particularly gruelling session involving energy blasts, you were grateful to finally collapse on the grassy embankment outside the training chamber, the warm Asgardian sun beating down on you as you watched Thor train in the courtyard with a host of Asgard’s warriors. For a while you simply watched until the faint rustling of the grass behind you informed you that you weren’t alone any longer.

“A brute, is he not?” Loki commented lightly, though there was a clear note of affection in his voice. He sat down next to you, stretching out his long legs in front of him.

“Do I detect a little jealousy?” You teased him easily.

He turned to face you with that look of amusement that always made your heart skip. “Jealous? Of Thor? Whyever would I be jealous of him?”

You have an exaggerated shrug. “I don’t know, he seems to be pretty popular with the ladies.” You replied, nodding to the hordes of women who had gathered to watch Thor train.

Loki laughed quietly, his eyes softening as they returned to you. “And why should I care if my brother is popular with the ladies when the most beautiful lady in Asgard is already mine?” He replied, his hand brushing over yours as it lay in the grass.

Heat rose instantly to your cheeks as you smiled at him. In the three years that you and Loki had been an official couple, you still melted when he gave you a compliment, no matter how small.

Asgard’s youngest prince had grown into a handsome and graceful young man and the ladies of the court loved him. He was tall and aloof and had those piercing eyes that made them eager to please him and win one of his rare smiles. With you, though, he was nothing but soft, having long ago let down his guard. The other ladies of the court may still yearn after him, but you no longer viewed them as a threat. It was you that Loki shared his secrets with; it was you he twirled around in his arms just to hear your laughter; it was you his arms sought out in the depths of sleep to pull close.

It was you that he loved, and he never let you doubt it.

“Well, your ceaseless begging to court you wore me down eventually.” You teased, dropping your head to rest on his shoulder.

He laughed again and you felt him press a kiss to your head. “You are the devil, my love,” he said, “but I’ve never known the devil to have such a gentle soul,” he added in a whisper

You curled further into his side. “You always insist on seeing the best in me.”

He placed another kiss to your hair. “Because I love you.”

He proposed not long after, a proposal that had taken your breath away with its simplicity. The ring had been an emerald, of course it had been an emerald, and Frigga had been unable to contain her tears at gaining a daughter.

Two months later you had started planning your wedding with Frigga, overcome with happiness at marrying the man you had loved for centuries. You would spend an eternity together, raise a family, watch each other grow old. Your heart was full at the thought of spending the rest of your life with Loki, the love of your life.

Three months later he let go of the Bifrost.

oOo

You knew the spell had worked before you even opened your eyes; the familiar easy silence of your room had shifted into a silence loaded with hopelessness, and you knew you were no longer in the palace. An inadvertent shiver shook your body as you adjusted to the change in temperature, and, at opening your eyes, your mouth fell into a small “o” of shock.

Loki’s cell was in chaos, the entire small space looking like it had been run through by a herd of wild boar. Hot anger coursed through your blood. You would never forgive Odin for abandoning his youngest son in his grief, for denying Loki the chance to mourn and say goodbye to the person who had been more than a mother to him. The solitary confinement was cruel, but Odin’s actions in the wake of Frigga’s death had you questioning if the man possessed a heart.

In the midst of all the disorder, your eyes found Loki for the first time in two years. Your heart leapt in your chest. Everyday since discovering he was still alive you had dreamed of this moment, of being reunited with the man who was the reason your heart beat. You had imagined running into his arms and the tears that would come with being held once again by the other half of your soul.

Now, though, you were calm. There would be no running into his embrace or ardent declarations of love. You were simply glad to see him alive, content that his heart was still beating. He was sitting before you with his back to the cell wall in the same state of disarray as his surroundings. He’d never looked so beautiful.

“Oh, Loki.” You whispered, taking the first few tentative steps towards him.

At the sound of your voice he haltingly turned his head causing you to stop dead in your tracks. This wasn’t the same Loki who had taken you in his arms and twirled you round the palace gardens at any available opportunity, or who had made you laugh so hard you struggled to draw breath. The Loki who sat in front of you right now was a shadow of the man you loved, his eyes drinking you in were dull with grief and held none of the familiar sparkle or mischief that you had fallen in love with.

“The treasure of my heart.” Loki spoke softly, the smallest of smiles gracing his face. “This isn’t how I envisioned us being reunited.”

You shook your head lightly, trying to keep your tears at bay. You needed to be the strong one; you needed to be his shelter, his arms to fall into. “I know,” you replied, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill over no matter how hard you fought them. “You didn’t even bring me flowers. You’re losing your touch,” your voice shook at your weak attempt to tease him.

You crossed the space of the cell, kneeling in front of Loki who never took his eyes off you.“You look exactly the same,” he said gently, his eyes roaming over you, drinking you in.

“Are you disappointed?” You quipped, the beginnings of a smile tugging at your lips.

“You could never disappoint me,” he replied easily.

“Wait until you hear my vows,” you said, surprising yourself with how easy you fell back into the familiar practice of teasing him. He smiled at your quick wit, but you noticed how it didn’t reach his eyes. “Oh, baby.” You reached out and entwined your fingers with his, the action causing him to start and snap his eyes to you.

“You’re not an illusion?” He asked, the small note of hope in his voice and the tightening of his fingers around yours shattering your already fragile heart.

Tears pricked at your eyes, and you stroked your thumb over the back of his hand. “I’m real, my love,” you reassured him gently. You lifted his hand, still entwined in yours, and placed it on your chest, letting the steady beat of your heart assure him that you weren’t another illusion.

His eyes flickered between yours and his hand still held against your heart, hope blossoming in them as you didn’t fade away at his touch. “How?” He asked simply.

“Your mother was an extraordinarily gifted witch,” you said in explanation. “She’d been working on this spell for months before she…,” you stopped abruptly, but watched Loki’s gaze fall. “She hated how alone you were in here, she wanted to hug her son, we both wanted to. She shared it with me when she’d finally perfected it…but she never got the chance to use it. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Loki’s hand dropped from your chest, but he continued holding tightly to yours. Guilt wracked you at adding to the mountain of pain that no doubt consumed his heart. Would it have been kinder not to have mentioned Frigga’s intent?

You watched him wet his lips, felt his grip on your hand tighten. You knew instinctively from years of loving him that he was fighting to keep his emotions in check, still trying to be strong for you when his world had come crashing down around him. Unable to take the physical separation any longer, and your heart breaking at how vulnerable he looked, you fell forward and gathered him into your arms.

“Baby, you don’t need to be strong for me.” You pulled him into your chest, eyes briefly closing as you breathed in the familiar scent of him after two years apart. You gripped him close, vowing to never again take for granted how he felt in your arms.

You felt his hands snake across your back, felt his arms wrap wholly around you as he clutched you like a lifeline. His head fell heavily onto your shoulder and you felt him nuzzle his face into your neck, desperately seeking comfort. You rested a hand on his hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the tangle of curls. For a while you did nothing but hold him, settling into a slow rhythm of rocking him and thanking the gods for bringing him back to you, until the slight heave of his shoulders pulled you back to the present.

“It’s ok, my love, let it out. I promise I’m not going to let go,” you whispered in his ear. With every heave of his shoulders you held him tighter, your resolve to stay strong crumbling as he fell apart in your arms.

You let him cry, let him work through the pain he had attempted to bury inside himself. You felt powerless to help him. There were no magic words or potions that could take away his pain. You continued murmuring in his ear, hoping that the sound of your voice might act as a balm. When his grip on you began to go slack you let him pull back. His face still shone with tears and he refused to look in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said thickly. Whether it was for crying on your shoulder or letting go of the Bifrost you weren’t sure, but you weren’t having it.

Tenderly, you took his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. “You have nothing to apologise for, my darling,” you whispered, letting your thumbs brush away the stray tears that fell from his eyes. “I’ve missed you so much, Loki.”

He reached up and removed your hands from his face, clasping them tightly in his own and bringing them to his lips. “Not half as much as I’ve missed you, love.”

You desperately searched his eyes for any speck of light, any glint of mischief. His gaze upon you was soft, the pieces of his broken heart so clearly swirling around within him.

“I’m so sorry about your mother. I tried to get Odin to see sense and let you attend her funeral but he…,” you tapered off as Loki turned his head away from you, physically withdrawing from the conversation. “Loki?”

He gave a small scoff of derision, his hand inadvertently tightening around yours in his lap. “I’m the reason my mother is dead,” he said, his voice raspy.

You furrowed your brow, confused. “What? My love, the dark elves stormed the palace, some escaped from their cell just across the way.” You gestured vaguely in the direction of the other cells. “It was nothing to do with you.”

He turned his gaze back to you, his eyes glassy and dull once again. “And how do you suppose the elves imprisoned here knew where to go?” He said scornfully.

You stared at him mutely, letting the words fully register in your mind, your face falling when his meaning finally clicked. “Oh, Loki. Oh, no, no, no.” You gathered him into your arms again. “This is not on you, my darling.” You soothed him, stroking your hand down his tangled hair. “You had no idea what was going on. How were you to know what Frigga had been planning?”

“If I hadn’t…,” he began, his voice strained.

“If you hadn’t,” you cut him off, “they would still have found her. They were looking for Jane and your mother was protecting her. One way or another they would have eventually found her while looking for Jane. Your mother’s death was not your fault,” you said firmly, refusing to let him blame himself.

You held his head against your chest, placing a kiss to the top of his head. Not only had he been abandoned in the wake of his mothers death, but he had been torturing himself with thoughts that he was responsible. You were overcome with the urge to protect him, to keep him safe. No one deserved what this man was going through.

“You always did insist on seeing the best in me,” his voice was muffled against your chest.

You pulled back, taking his face in your hands once again and locking your eyes with his. “Because I love you,” you said with quiet force. “I never stopped loving you.”

“Some might call you a fool for that,” he replied instantly, giving you hope that your god of mischief was still in there.

You smiled at him, stroking his cheek with the pad of your thumb. “Then it’s fortunate that the only person whose opinion I care about is you.” He gave you another sad smile, and for the first time since you’d gained access to his cell you noticed how tired he looked. “My love, you’re exhausted. When was the last time you slept?” You asked rhetorically, already getting to your feet and gently pulling him up with you.

He put up no protest as you guided him towards the bed in the corner of the cell, easily sliding into the covers like an obedient child, his arms reaching out for you as you slipped in beside him. He curled into your side as you had with him so many nights in the past, his hand clutching yours.

“You’ll stay?” He asked quietly, a small note of fear in his voice.

“I’m staying,” you promised him, kissing the top of his head. “Just close your eyes. I’ll still be here when you open them again.”

[betweenthescarletmoon]

Something i adore about scenes from a marriage (2021), whether or not the theme was present in the original, is the presence and effects of childhood emotional neglect in the main characters.

From the first episode, you can feel it. There's so much love and care yet so much disconnect and misunderstanding between Jonathan and Mira. They suppress themselves, they discredit their needs to prioritize the other's, they promise they're fine when their eyes scream otherwise.

Episode two shows how Mira felt dead and numb with Jonathan, how she felt like she couldn't breathe with him. And the fact that they never, ever, ever talked about how the abortion destroyed them... Jonathan watches porn and eats alone at night, only for his face to light up like a lighthouse when Mira returned (because he felt so lonely, but he never told her that). How Mira felt so much bitterness and resentment for him, stuck in loneliness herself, but lost her self-assertion and security (or never had it) and chose to never tell him the truth. The way she was finally facing so many emotions (guilt, regret, rage, sorrow, fear) she probably never allowed herself to feel before (perhaps since childhood), so it was too overwhelming and painful for her to do so. The way he abraded his face before tears would spill, and shut down and forgave and comforted instead of feeling, until the repressed boiling stress and agony caused an asthma attack.

Episode three was all Mira trying to feel some familiarity and security now that she was finding none anywhere, using a Jonathan who holds no boundaries, who apologizes for trying to assert his need to heal, his right to consent or deny sex. Mira, who cannot handle true emotional intimacy, because it scares her, so when Jonathan is finally learning to open up emotionally for the first time in his life, exactly about the emotional neglect that traumatized him, she tries to make it physical and sensual to escape that terrifying new level of trust. The need in Mira to diminish the relationship they had, the need in Jonathan to begin detaching himself from all future relationships just like Mira does. This is the beginning of the rot that takes place in both of them, because if you don't tend to what's inside how can it stay alive? It is our job to take care, heal, and maintain what our parents failed to care, raise, and love unconditionally. Jonathan is trying with therapy, while Mira is not. Later we see the roles switch.

In episode four we witness them at their worst. Wildly violent and impulsive in sexual, physical, and verbal dimensions, no matter the repercussions and the wellbeing of the other. And yet, Jonathan is more self-aware than ever. He asserts himself, he stands up for himself, he fights her insults, he tries to communicate, and finally, he extricates himself from the situation (until a desperate, emotionally breaking down, hopeless Mira stops him). Mira, without space or will to face what is within, is instinctively running to Jonathan without thought or care towards him or even herself. It is deeply toxic because she can't be alone with her hurt, can't bring herself to process all this grief. This is what primarily tears them apart the way they did that night.

And in the finale, we see Mira finally able to do just what she couldn't last episode. And devastatingly, we see Jonathan become the empty shell we saw in Mira in episode three. When you choose to perceive the world as untrustworthy, as unable to see you for who you are, as unconditionally vicious and neglectful and cruel, no amount of therapy or self-awarenes will change that will to see the world like this. His choice in detaching and numbing himself, relying on cognitive dissonance about freedom and morality, is his choice to emotionally neglect his new wife and child (as well as Ava, as well as himself). And the beauty, the absolute beauty of episode five, despite how messed up and horrid it is for them to be having this affair, is that Mira was emotionally present for him. She listened to him for the first time in four episodes. She expressed her sorrow for him, her worry. She held him with care and gentleness, and not with an ulterior need. She empathized in his weakest moments, embraced him when that neglected inner child was unleashed in the attic, in the darkness, after that nightmare. And Jonathan knows. He is well aware she is loving him the way he wasn't as a child, and he states exactly how his mother failed to do what Mira is doing now.

In short, educate yourself about CEN. Learn about how your most well-meaning parents could've emotionally failed you. And see for yourself how, untreated and unprocessed, or simply not accepted, that invisible and underestimated trauma can rot people up on the inside. This series portrays wonderfully, painfully, the true poison that is emotional neglect, and the necessity to have emotional maturity and love to heal.

[erensrag]

bimbo!reader x judgmental nerd eren

eren x y/n (wc: 3173)

warnings: nswf, slut shaming, slight dubious consent

i don’t think i did this correctly….

"no please, take your time. it's not like we've been here for hours." eren's sharp voice brings you out of your thoughts.

his piercing gaze is right there to meet yours when you finally stop staring at the wall. you chew on your pencil, quickly diverting your attention to the paper in front of you. you've done your best to avoid looking at him the majority of the time you've been here.

it's not your fault you can't look into his eyes for longer than a second. he's the one who's always observing you with that cold, calculating stare. you've been on the end of judgmental looks and not so quiet whispers for years now and have learned to not let them bother you—well you thought you mastered the art of simply ignoring those kinds of people. until eren.

you didn't even know he existed until a few weeks ago. the introduction for you two consisted of a simple bumping into each other in the crowded hallways of school, it ended with him bitterly muttering something about idiot cheerleaders as he stumbled away. not even sparing you a second glance. after that, you saw him often and he made his dislike for you evidently clear.

which makes no sense. how can someone not like you?

it's usually jealous girls giving you the stink eye and making up the ridiculous rumors. they're the ones who don't want to associate themselves with you. not nerdy nobodies who can't walk without stumbling over their own two feet. no, people like him usually worship the ground you walk on. or at least drool a little.

seriously you've tried everything to get rid of that menacing stare and frigid tone he always greets you with. it's like he's immune. "jesus y/n, how dumb are you?"

and they definitely don't talk to you like that. you know you're not the brightest, which is why your teacher got this jerk of a nerd to tutor you right before exam week but is that really an excuse for him to treat you like this? biting the inside of your cheek, you nudge a corner of your sweater until your left shoulder is exposed. leaning forward and batting your eyelashes which gets no response from him other than a blank stare. "i'm not dumb. i just don't get it." you pout. "can't you just tell me the answer? we've spent like thirty minutes on this question."

"thirty minutes cause you're an idiot." he mutters more to himself.

"i'm trying my best!"

"you should've learned this months ago. you would've if you didn't spend your time skipping class to hang out with your pig muscle boyfriend."

"he's not my boyfriend..." you go back to chewing on the pencil.

"so you just make out with any guy behind the bleachers?"

"you seem to know a lot about me." you look at him again, that stupid cold stare looking back at you through those glasses.

"who doesn't. you're y/n. the whole school knows of your...activities."

"those are just rumors." some of them are. most are true. you enjoy living life to the fullest. it's not your fault the people in your school saw a confident, attractive woman and instantly decided to put less than appealing labels on her. "and besides they're none of your business."

"whatever. just solve this, this is taking longer than our usual sessions and my mom will be home soon."

you groan, looking down at the textbooks and not understanding a single word. “please just tell me the answers.” you ask one last time, desperate.

“no.”

you huff, returning your attention to the book. “you’re going to age badly with all that scowling you do. just so you know.”

“shut up.”

"eren..." you say after five minutes which causes a frustrated sigh to leave his lips. "do you have an issue with me?" it's been four sessions of the frigid tension he always puts between you two and there's a lot more to come before graduation so you just want to get whatever problems he has with you out of the way.

it takes a few seconds before he's looking up from the textbook, pushing his glasses up as he sends you probably the most intimidating glare you've seen from him. "excuse me?" the very tone of his voice has goosebumps forming on your skin but you force yourself to stand your ground. you're not going to let some loser who's probably never even kissed someone to look down on you.

"you— you just seem to—"

"i don't have an issue with you y/n." he slams the book on the table causing you to jump. "having an issue with someone like you would imply i care enough and trust me i'll never care for such a ditzy little slut who doesn't respect herself."

you've been called worse than that and usually by scorned boys you hooked up with. but they were popular gym rats, not some overconfident lanky freak. you had a snarky reply on the tip of your tongue but with the cogs in your brain suddenly malfunctioning, you could only stutter out a pathetic, "i—i'm none of those things!"

"really?" he scoffs, actually getting up and walking over and as he does you think maybe it would've been a safer option to just keep your mouth shut. "wide doe eyes without nothing behind them. check." he starts. "plump lips perfect for what you do best. check." and the asshole has the nerve to slowly swipe his fingers across your bottom lip.

you should stand up, tell him to go to hell and get out of here but you're frozen. limbs not moving an inch as he continues, "empty little head. check. skimpy outfits to attract attention. check. i mean let's face the facts.."

you never would've thought the loser that always sits in the back of the class with his nose buried deep in a book would speak like this to you. it's insulting. freaking degrading. he knows nothing about you and yet he has that expression on his face like he does. "if i'm such a ditzy little slut as you so nicely put then i'd be jumping at the chance to hook up with you but here we are." you seethe.

that seems to finally strike a nerve as he scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. you cut him off before he can defend himself.

"is that it...you're angry i haven't made a move on you because that's what sluts do isn't it? bone everything they see? is your pride wounded that i don't see you in that way, eren?" you let out a mirthless laugh. "well news flash, pretty girls like me don't go for freaks like you."

you got up, ready to grab your things and run out all while trying to ignore the nerves inside of you. he just stands there, rigid and glaring. "really?" he asks once your books are back in your bag.

"y—yes. now if you'll excuse me—" your wrist is being grabbed before you can take another step and for a second both of you are stunned, you mostly frozen in your spot because this creep has the audacity to touch you after everything he just said. you don't know what his excuse is but he only stands there like a shocked puppy before pushing you on the desk.

a gasp escapes your lips at being manhandled by him  of all people, what the fuck is he doing? you're on your stomach, feet on the ground as the fucker puts a hand on your back, keeping you there. "w-what are you doing?" you pant out, bewildered at everything that just happened.

"i..." he trails off, not saying anything before manhandling you again. only this time it's for you to lay on your back and fuck, you could fight back. he's surprisingly strong for such a lanky freak but you're a cheerleader who does complex moves out on the field almost every day. you could kick him off, slam that big textbook in his face to the point his nose breaks and run out, making sure to report him.

but you don't. it's not that you can't. for some reason, you just don't want to. maybe it's curiosity, to see what exactly he plans on doing. to see if a loser like him actually has the balls to do anything but back away and apologize profusely.

"you're not fighting back." he simply says, sounding a bit confused as he comes to lean over your body. his hands on either side of your head as he stares down, those stupid piercing eyes staring down at you. "why?"

"shouldn't i be the one asking the questions here? like why the fuck you have me on this desk?"

he raises an eyebrow, leaning back and grabbing your thighs causing you to squeal in surprise. he spreads them, raising the dress you’re wearing until it's pooling at your stomach before you can even blink.

shit. what's wrong with him?

what's wrong with you? you should be kicking at him, you could easily shove him off. you could do it in a blink of an eye so why the hell aren't you.

where there's supposed to be fear...there's only anticipation. "you really are a slut." he laughs cruelly, pulling your panties down until they're completely off. where he throws them, you don't know. probably in some corner to hide so you forget about them, who knows what a pervert like him would do with it?

"you barely know me and yet...look at this." you shudder as his finger circles your clit before swiping across your cunt, bringing his hand up to show you your slick as if for emphasis.

"shut up." you grit through your teeth. "you're—" you don't have time to finish your insult before he's kneeling down, tongue immediately latching onto your clit.

your nails instantly scrape against the desk, shuddering as he begins to suckle on your clit. his tongue delves into you, fingers digging into your thighs on purpose as if the freak wants to hurt you. you can play that game too if he wants, fingers going to grab at the strands of his dark hair, pulling as you ground your hips against his annoyingly experienced tongue.

usually, your sexual partners don't willingly choose to eat you out but here is he. practically eager to get to business. he acted so high and mighty and still has the gall to continue doing so yet he's the one on his knees right now. freaking nerds are so easy. even overly judgmental ones with sharp gazes.

he’s basically lapping at you, moving from sucking your clit to eagerly drinking up your juices. never coming up for air as if he was made to simply do this. "f—fuck." you didn't want to make any noises, any implications that what he's doing is actually making you feel good but dammit it's hard when a tongue is diving deep into your most sensitive parts.

a particular bite has you instantly bringing your legs together but he quickly grabs them, forcing them apart to shove his face in between your thighs again. your breath catches in your throat as he licks up your dripping pussy. he doesn’t relent even once and the moans won’t stop escaping your lips, “sl—slow down. gonna…dammit.”

his tongue licks…freaking everywhere. the obscene noises causing you to hang your head back, he’s licking and sucking everything up as if it’s his favorite meal.

and it’s embarrassing. how fast you come. but how can not you? you mercilessly pull at his hair and shamelessly moan when you do. somehow you're the sweating and panting one as he stands up. "so that's what all the hype is about?" he tsk, seemingly bored.

it takes a few seconds for you to find the breath to say “don't act like you didn't enjoy that, with the way you were eagerly—”

"shut up." he takes his glasses off, putting them to the side before grabbing your thighs and pulling you closer to him.

"you're disgusting, you know? the nerve you have—"

"i spent the last two hours teaching you simple biology and somehow you couldn't do one question by yourself, if i'm testy that's all on you.

"it's not my fault." it comes out as a whine and you hate it, you were supposed to be insulting him. at least have some pride when you're about to be fucked by the guy who looks at you like you're nothing but a dirty piece of gum.

"shut up, for crying out loud. shut up." his voice is raspy as he unbuckles the belt to his revolting khakis.

you can't help as your eyes widen once his cock is in view. for such a nerd, he's actually packing. one hand holds your hips as the other guides his dick towards your leaking area and slight panic starts to take over. "a-aren't you gonna prep?" as orgasmic as that oral job was, you doubt just that will be enough to prepare you for that.

he grins, probably the first smile you've ever seen on his annoyingly handsome face. "don't worry, i'm sure a slut like you has a loose enough cunt."

"you little shit! that's—" your words get caught in your throat, back arching as he moves his hips forward, piercing inside of you. "fuck."

a broken sound leaves your lips as he continues to push his length in. it doesn't hurt like you expected it to but there's still a strong ache that you know will leave you limping tomorrow morning. it burns, burns so good you have to squeeze your eyes shut. you need something to hold onto as he starts to move, anything to give you some sort of balance but the flat surface underneath you offers no help. "ngh...eren..." you're not sure what you want to say but he doesn't give you time to think of something before he sets a rhythm.

it's surprisingly slow at first, like he wants you to feel every vein on his cock and you do. your walls desperately clench around him as you bite on your bottom lip, the room suddenly feeling too hot as his fingers grab your chin, forcing you to look at him. into that stupid gaze he won't stop staring at you with. his mouth is slightly open but no sound comes out. he's perfectly collected and you hate it. people like him should be cumming the second you touch them but he's...it's annoying.

his pace starts to speed up—he doesn't even give it another second before he's ramming inside of you. holding your hips with both hands as he sets a brutal pace that has you moving up and down the desk. "p-pretty decent for a nerd—ah!"

still, he stays silent. ugh, what's wrong with him? you bring your arm up to your mouth, muffling the moans spilling out of your lips in spite but his hands are immediately pulling them off. he chuckles, coming close enough that his breath fans against your face and a lewd moan comes out of you as he hits an even deeper spot. "don't do that, we all know this is what you want. to be fucked hard and fast to the point you're nothing but a mindless whore whose only purpose is to scream in pleasure."

you don't respond, biting down hard on your lips. his thrusts became more aggressive as he scoffs, "fine." his hand finds its way to your throat, squeezing slightly.

you suck in a shuddering breath just as his hold tightens, bordering on dangerous but for some reason the lack of air only makes your pussy throb, clenching tight around him. why does it feel good? why does everything he's doing to you only make you want more? his thrusts have now gotten erratic, almost forcing your body off the desk but the hold on your hips and throat keep you right where you are. you want to let out the moan clawing out from inside your throat but his grip stays, merciless as he pounds into you.

you don't know how much of this you can take, everything feels too hot. it's too much. "fuck look at you, didn't think you could look even more dumb." he pants, staring down. he finally removes his hand from your throat and you cry out the second he does.

"eren, please i'm—fuck...too much, it's too much." you gasp even though a sick part of you knows you could do this all night.

but right now...with the way his voice is dripping with cockiness— you hate it, hate the way he looks at you and talks to you. it's infuriating and too much. a tsk comes out of his mouth, "who knew you had a limit?" he rolls his eyes and in the next second, he's spilling inside of you. spilling and spilling until some drip on the floor.

like he's been holding himself back all this time.

fuck. he could've at least let you release a second time. you didn't think the asshole would be finishing right after you said that. you're panting, eyes staring at the white ceiling as he pulls out. he zips up his stupid ugly looking khakis as he steps back. "can you get off my desk now?"

the nerve of him...ugh. you slowly sit up, dress sticking to your skin due to the sweat and you have to refrain from asking to use his shower before leaving.

he gets you your bag and you slowly take it, throat aching and dry. there'll definitely be bruises around your throat and hips tomorrow and you're sure he's secretly delighted at that fact. "uh...." you trail off.

this is usually the part where they ask for your number, pleading for a second night with that desperate look in their eyes but he doesn't even send you another glance as he gathers up the papers on the desk, putting them into a binder. "make sure to study before sleeping tonight...if your body can handle that." his lips slightly curve up at that last part but he's not bragging, no just mocking you.

"o...okay." you lick your dry lips, suddenly needing a mint. "uh...bye?" you stand up too fast, cursing at yourself for it but his arm is around your hips before you can fall.

you bite the inside of your cheek, the proximity too close even though he was just inside of you a minute ago. he sighs, "do you need a ride home?" he asks grudgingly.

and you should say no. you don't need to be in an enclosed space with this asswipe for another second. just say no and walk into class the next day, demanding for another tutor. and then you'll never have to talk to him ever again.

but instead a weak nod comes out.

[oh-my-moomin]

NGE: You Deserve Love

This is an analysis based solely on the og NGE anime series and not the movie or rebirth series so I won’t be mentioning those.

NGE is a psychological horror/apocalypse story dressed up as a mecha. This farce is only totally dropped in the last 2, even 3 episodes. This can make the ending jarring and seem in cohesive, but ultimately my understanding is that none of the ‘plot’ really matters. Seele doesn’t matter, where the angels come from doesn’t really matter, and the final battle doesn’t matter. This is a story exploring loss, the need for connection, loneliness, and humanity. We see this through not only the interactions of the human characters but also through the angels.

THE HUMANS

The Children

A defining trait of all the characters is that they are lonely. The isolation from human connection is brought on both by the high stress apocalypse they all live in, as well as the personal demons they face. The characters all attempt to create bonds with other people, but are held back by their insecurities, fear of vulnerability, and past traumas.

Let’s start with Shinji, as the main character. Having lost his mother at a young age, and being abandoned by this father, he was never able to feel secure. Therefore he takes on a people pleaser attitude, constantly apologizing. His want for validation (particularly from adults in his life) causes him to continue to take action that he doesn't want to, including piloting the EVA. His self hate and insecurity makes it hard for him to make and trust his own choices. So he relies on others to guide him. When this fails, when he doesn't get the love and validation he craves he tries to quite entirely. But this often leads to the people he cares about being hurt. He's trapped between a rock and hard place.

Asuka was also abandoned, however rather than craving support like Shinji, she chooses to live for herself. She craves independence. She needs to know that she is no longer a child that can be hurt and vulnerable. This is largely shown through both her overt sexuality, and her piloting the EVA. She must be in control of the EVA, she must have power, she must be able to prove herself as the best, the strongest. Because inside she still feels like that hurt desperate child, and that is what she hates most about herself. Unlike Shinji, Asuka is brash and rude, and she expects others to give her the same. She barks and expects you to bark back, but can’t always handle it. 

Both of these characters are constantly looking for connection, with both their peers and adults. While Asuka often pushes herself on to people, out of a need to be seen. Shinji cannot take active moves to make meaningful connections, and will shy away from people trying to connect. Asuka hates herself and needs to prove that others love her. Shinji hates himself and cannot imagine that people love him. 

The Adults

One of the running themes in the show is motherhood. Typically it is the mother that is expected to love and care for the child, to raise them, show unconditional love, give unwavering support. None of the characters have had this, Shinji and Asuka search for validation that they lost in adults in different ways. Unfortunately for them, none of the adults present are suitable to be parents. 

The show makes a point to show that the adult characters are all more complex than the children. They have lived longer and therefore had more time to make mistakes, to get stuck in toxic ideals, to ‘be problematic’. They are not concretely good or bad people (mostly), but rather the result of people who grew up in a post apocalyptic world, trying desperately to stop the salvage it, while also trying to make their own connections. Like the child characters, their past traumas make it harder for them to be more open, vulnerable, and weak, to form that human connection. 

I am going to focus on Misato and Ritsuko, since they act as foils when it comes to human connection.

Misato being left as a lone survivor to a terrible accident has left her scared both physically and mentally. Before this she had issues with her parents, as her father seemed to abandon his family in favour of work, leaving her mother devastated. Misato doesn't want to become like her mother, abandoned by a loved one, and she also doesn't want to be her father, a slave to work. To counter this she looks for easy connections, but she never wants to get too close.

When her relationship with Kaji was beginning to feel too real, she began to find flaws. His resemblance to her father was terrifying, so she broke it off. Similarly, when in scenes with Shinji, talking about his insecurities or his want to give up, she is hidden by shadow. She cannot be seen as weak, she cannot offer comfort, she cannot be a mother figure to Shinji. Other ways her searching for easy connection is her drinking beer, or eating take out. She searches for the most basic ways to fulfill her needs, so that she can focus on her main goal of defeating the angels. 

Ritsuko is also desperate to find human connection without vulnerability. By fully closing off the whole world she can have no weakness, something which she resents in Misato. She views herself as above the need for connection in that way, and would rather follow in her mothers foot footsteps as a scientist and a woman. 

She loved and admired her mother, and hated her. She wants to follow in her footsteps but also would hate to fail in the same ways. She saw how her mother failed to actually mother her, and chose to completely reject that part of herself. Instead she cares for cats, and uses those as a surrogate to having a child. She continues her mothers work as a scientist, constantly striving to improve. And when it comes to the ‘woman’ that her mother was, she knew a stubborn woman who focused solely on one man. So Ritsuko also focused on him, to the point of giving up her cat to her grandmother. Both women tried to create an easy connection with him, both felt that they were his equal, and that they found the one connection that mattered. When it was proven to them that they were a second (third) woman this caused them both to break down. For Ritsuko this meant that even though she closed off the whole world, except for one man, she was still too vulnerable. And her only response was to completely shut down. Because she had no one else.

All of the characters are constantly searching for this connection, trying to show affection without getting hurt. Trying to make sense of the end of the world while also making sense of interpersonal relationships. Their own inner demons getting in the way of honest connection. 

Rei

As a clone Rei is a particular case. She is aware that she is not a ‘person’, she isnt meant for human connection. Her isolation is so ingrained into her, planned before she is even ‘born’ so she feels no need to care for anyone except Ikari. She latches onto him, would do anything for him, and has no value in her life because she is aware that she is not real. 

However, she still has a human source, Shinjis mother. A human person, who also needed human connection. Rei, when given the chance, does care for people. Shinji is the first person to see her as a peer, and to treat her with kindness. With this start of forming connections, she begins to feel more human, to develop a further need to connect. Even if it's hard to fully separate from the man who created her.

THE ANGELS

The angels act as a foil to the human need for connection. While all of the human characters are lonely and searching for connection with each other, the angels are also lonely and trying to learn what that even means. 

There is no scene where the angels are working together, they are solitary, all having the same goal of reaching Adam, but incapable of planning together to achieve it. They instead try to create connection to humans, trying to bond and understand them, without knowing that their methods are harmful. 

I believe this can be first seen with the 12th angel. When Shinji is absorbed into the EVA, it is safe to say that the angel was able to understand the merging of human and EVA. This connection allowed Shinji to control the EVA to break free of the angel's shadow. The following month where Shinji is trapped within his EVA, is our first insight into what the human instrumentality project will be like, as well as the goals of the angels. 

Since angels cannot connect to each other, the 15th angel attempts to create connection by forcing itself into Asukas mind. It wants to understand her, her emotions, her thoughts, her connections, her love. For her this is a painful experience, akin to rape. She feels dirtied after it. But the attack is a beam of light, with holy music playing, what should be a calming experience. I believe it is fair to say that the angel cannot understand that it is putting her through pain, as it cannot understand any human experiences. Angels are incapable of understanding their own feelings/experiences/wants, and try to use humans as a study from which they can learn. 

The following angel confronts Rei about her loneliness. Instead of breaking into her mind through light, it directly entered her body. While talking with her, it questioned what loneliness was, trying to understand its own pain and isolation through understanding hers. Its solution is to merge with Rei, as it believes this would solve both problems. 

However, when she refuses, the angel then tries to find another source of connection. Rei cares about Shinji, as both a clone of his mother, and a friend as her own person. The angel can see that this connection is something that she finds precious and tries to take it for itself, as it cannot understand why Shinji wouldn’t feel the same. It cannot understand how complex human connections are, that it cannot simply take Reis form. However, it has learned what pain is, and how to communicate its own pain. As seen when Shinji attacks it. Whether this pain is physical or emotional doesn't matter, because it is the first pain that the angel could express.

The angels discovering what loneliness is acts as a way for the human pilots to begin to explore their own isolation in more depth. For better or worse.

THE FINAL MESSENGER

Our introduction to the final angel is him singing. He takes a human form, can fully communicate to other humans, and doesn’t immediately attack them. This is such a contrast to all other angels that it isn't immediately clear that he even is an angel. Kaworu's first words are (as per the netflix english subtitles)

“Arent songs great? Songs enrich the heart. They're the crowning achievement of Lilin culture” 

He loves humans, human culture, human lives, and the human world. He is the first angel who is able to show this. His ability to understand humans allows him to form human connections, and he does so with Shinji. 

Kaworu loved Shinji. He would seek out Shinji, take time to bond and communicate with him, and help Shinji open up. He wanted to be close with Shinji, and knew how to be gentle in ways that no other human or angel could. He was patient, because he had time. And Shinji was able to open up to him more than with any other character. Shinji  was able to take the initiative to ask to stay with him, to try and form that connection.

All the human characters are struggling with their own demons, with an apocalyptic world. The whole earth is at war and Shinji is in the front lines, surrounded by adults who may want to help him but ultimately can't. Saving everyone is a higher priority to saving one kid, especially when that kid is your strongest soldier. Throughout the series Shinji is given conditional love. It is only when he pilots the EVA, defeats the angels and saves the day that people give him validation. Then comes this boy, who is gentle and kind, who listens. And it's easy, its comfort, its understanding and unconditional love, and its exactly what Shinji has needed for the whole series. 

But as a messenger he could never stay, he's temporary and by the end of the episode he understands this. He still is driven to ‘Adam’, he has a mission, but instead he is confronted with Lilith. Kaworu understands that humans and angels cannot live together in harmony, only one can survive. Both Adam and Litlith were made in god's image, but only Adam could stay in the garden of Eden. Death and Life hold equal value to Kaworu, so he doesn't mind the sacrifice, he would rather die to protect humans, to protect Shinji. He can  also understand that this is difficult, this is murder, this is killing a friend. So he says “thank you” and he waits.

In other episodes when in a battle, Shinji is constantly being yelled at, told what to do, under constant pressure. But here there is just the same patient understanding that Kaworu has always shown him. No rush for him to take action, just time to process and grieve. Because Kaworu knows Shinji will make the hard choice and he waits, and he smiles, and he continues to love Shinji. 

The final angel came down as a messenger and said

“You are important. 

I want to talk to you, to know you. 

You are in pain, you are fragile and should be protected. 

You are worthy of my affection. 

I like you. I love you. I was born just so that I could meet you. 

Our kind cannot survive together, one of us must die. And you deserve to live. 

I will take this burden of death because you deserve a future. 

I am glad I could meet you, thank you. 

I know this is hard, and I know you need time. I will wait.

Thank you.”

That was the last message to humanity.

And because Shinji is human he says back

“We are the same. I love you too. If only one of us could have lived it should have been you. You are better than me. You should have survived.”

[ladybugout-au]

Dear. GOD. After seeing Furious Fu, I would honestly love to see LBO!Marinette just chewing out Su-Han for all his canon-to-fic BULLSHIT. Like, I know you’ve already got a plan to incorporate Feast into LBO, which I’m super excited for, so this asshole showing up with all his nonsense after the new Team Miraculous is set, hell maybe even after they’ve already retrieved the Butterfly and the Peacock, and watching Marinette (and possibly Fu since he has the memories to stand up for himself) tear this dude a new one would really be the cherry on top of an already awesome fic. Sorry to rant in your inbox lol but the new episode just made me so. ANGRY.

In the lounge room of the Liberty, everyone jumped as they heard a noise from up above deck, as if something heavy had fallen or been dropped. Marinette briefly pulled away from Luka’s hold, staring up at the ceiling and wondering aloud, “What was that?”

“I don’t know,” Juleka admitted, exchanging concerned looks with Rose.

“That definitely wasn’t Mom,” Luka noted with a tilt of his head.

Pounding footsteps followed, making it clear that a person had clearly gotten on the houseboat without the gangplank being there.

Nino jolted on alert, turning to Duusu with a hushed whisper. “Hide!”

“All of you,” Kagami began, standing up and looking around vaguely at every kwami. “get out of sight.”

The kwami, breaking out of their trance after the brief scare, scattered in every direction to find their own individual hiding places, some choosing to hide with their respective holder and others preferring to hide behind or inside objects. Ivan went into his usual protective mode, wrapping an arm around Mylene while she clung to him.

Marinette stood up, rushing over to the table and picking up the Miracle Box to stow it away. She looked around, then dashed for the microwave and stored the box inside.

She shut the door just in time for the intruder to descend from the staircase: an old man, dressed in Chinese garb and carrying a strange mystical-looking staff. He had a stern expression, his brows knitted together as he scanned the room like none of them were even there. He raised his staff, his gaze eventually locking on the microwave the Marinette was standing near.

Without a word, he pushed Marinette aside, earning an offended, “Excuse me—hey!” from her as he grabbed the microwave door and tugged it. When that did little more than jostle the microwave itself, he tried blindly tampering with the buttons to no avail.

Marinette slapped his wrist away, standing with all her pride as guardian as she asked, “What do you think you’re doing?!”

He glared at her in response. “Young lady, I demand you open your magical sealing chamber and return what’s rightfully mine!”

She blanked, the words catching her completely off-guard. This guy thought their microwave was a magical sealing chamber?

In response, Marinette gave a brief glance to the others, who were all looking back at her with equally puzzled expressions, any tension from before completely gone.

An unspoken question echoed throughout the room: Is he for real?

Before Marinette could ask any further, Tikki emerged from her hiding spot, flying over and explaining, “Marinette, I know who this is! This is great master Su-Han, the guardian of the Miracle Box!”

Marinette raised a brow skeptically. “But I’m the guardian?”

“He was responsible for the box before the incident that Master Fu caused,” she corrected.

Su-Han looked down at Marinette condescendingly. “So you are the current holder of the box.”

“That’s right,” she confirmed unapologetically. She gave a side-glance to Luka and the others, seeing that they were prepared to stand up and fight for her, but she gave a subtle gesture to let them know that it wasn’t necessary. Resolving to deal with Su-Han herself, she faced him again. “How did you find us?”

He held out his staff, the jewel on it mere centimeters from her face. “Guardian scepters are equipped with compasses that can find their Miracle Box at any given time.”

“In case you lose it?” Marinette blurted out, but didn’t apologize or try to take it back.

“Insolent!” Su-Han gasped. “You are not even a proper guardian. I can tell that this box hasn’t even been properly passed down to you!”

“Because Master Fu gave it to me,” she explained, “and we agreed that he should keep his memories.”

“Fu?” Su-Han echoed. “You mean Wang Fu? Chicken legs?”

Is this guy five? Marinette wondered.

Orikko popped out from their hiding place, waving a paw at Su-Han as if in warning. “I take offense to that!”

Su-Han glared at Orikko at the comment, and Orikko quickly ducked back down. Turning his attention back to Marinette, he continued, “Wang Fu is a student who wasn’t even able to fast for a day, nor do a thousand finger-pushups. He was never a rightful guardian, and he failed to fulfill the hope we’d seen in him.”

“Master Fu may have made mistakes, but he’s done his best to make up for all of them!” she argued. “He protected the box for over one hundred years and it’s because of his choices that our team was able to defeat Hawk Moth!”

“Team?” Su-Han asked, his face scrunching up as if he were piecing something together.

“Yes!”

Marinette gestured to her boyfriend and friends for emphasis. Luka, Ivan, Kagami, and Juleka stood while Rose and Nino pinched and stretched their shirts to show off their respective miraculouses.

“Children?” Su-Han gaped. Glaring at Marinette, as if she had personally given out the miraculouses herself, he declared, “Children are never meant to hold miraculouses, especially from the first and most powerful Miracle Box! Kwami are extremely powerful, cosmic creatures!”

A voice piped up from across the room. “Y-you say that, but—!”

Marinette and Su-Han turned to look at Nooroo, who had peeked out from behind Rose’s shoulder. He breathed up, seeming to gain some confidence, then floated out to the center of the room.

“They saved me and Duusu from the hands of evil! We would still be in Gabriel’s clutches if not for them!”

“What?” Su-Han asked. Just when Marinette thought they might be getting somewhere, he turned back to her and accused, “The peacock and butterfly were lost?!”

“Fu lost them when he was escaping the temple,” Marinette explained, a mixture between unphased and annoyed at the man’s outbursts, “but we got them back and everything’s okay now.”

Luka chimed in from his place near the couch, “Marinette has been an incredible leader, as both Ladybug and the guardian.”

She smiled at him in thanks, but Su-Han was clearly focused on anything but the positives.

“Ladybug? You’re even wearing a miraculous?! Guardians aren’t meant to hold miraculouses!” he said, throwing his arms out for effect.

“What—why?” she asked, genuinely confused.

Instead of answering her, Su-Han pulled out a book, shoving it pointedly towards her with the cover facing downwards in his palm. “Let me remind you of a few important rules you’ve violated.” He flipped through a few pages, then pointed at one of them. “Rule fourteen: Kwami must not live outside of the box.” He flipped through a few more. “Rule fifty-two: Guardians must never lose a miraculous. “He flipped to a page near the end. “Rule one hundred and thirty-three: Guardians must never, under any circumstances, wear a miraculous.”

“Master Fu wore a miraculous,” she argued, having never heard of any such rule from him.

“And that proves exactly what I’m talking about!” Su-Han retorted. “Neither you nor Fu are capable guardians because neither of you have respected the rules of the order!”

“...”

When Marinette initially imagined the Order of the Guardians and the people who ran it, this was not what she’d pictured. She had pictured zen and calm, not belligerent and immovable. She was reminded vaguely of her grandfather when she first met him, and that wasn’t a good thing.

She tossed another gaze at everyone, who gave her the same look and nod in response: let him have it.

“Young lady, I’ll repeat myself once,” Su-Han warned. “Return the Miracle Box and the miraculouses to me before--”

Marinette grabbed the book out of his hand, shut it with a satisfying “clap,” then set it back in his hand. “No.“

“What did you say?” he asked, aghast that she would speak to him that way.

“I said no.” Marinette advanced on him, the sheer force of her presence making him take a step back. “Now let me remind you about everything you must’ve missed this whole time.”

She raised a finger at him, raising additional fingers as she went on. “One: You intruded on my boyfriend’s house without any sort of permission. If you’d actually called out to us, we might’ve actually been willing to come out and listen to what you had to say. Two: You wouldn’t have even been able to be here in the first place if not for me using Miraculous Ladybug after our team took down Feast, which you weren’t able to do. Three: We aren’t children, we’re teenagers, and the fact that you can’t tell the difference or bother learning what technology is shows that I shouldn’t trust you with the Miracle Box even if you had a right to it. Four: You didn’t bother to listen and blamed me for losing miraculouses when it was you and your order who didn’t keep an eye on a poor boy who didn’t want to be there. Five, last but not least: I say the kwami are allowed out of the Miracle Box because I am the guardian. You and your order have been gone for over one hundred years and you can’t go making demands after I brought you back. You told me rules I didn’t even know about and didn’t explain why you have those rules in the first place. The kwami are my friends and they have feelings and I’m not going to shut them in a box because you told me to.”

Silence filled the room, no one saying a word and Su-Han’s face contorting between shock and outrage.

Marinette took a step back, standing at the ready and gesturing to herself. “So if you want the Miracle Box, you’re going to have to go through us first.”

She tossed a look at her team, all of them doing a synchronized, confrontational motion to face Su-Han.

“Tikki!”

“Plagg!”

“Wayzz!”

“Pollen!”

“Trixx!”

“Nooroo!”

“Duusu!”

They then shouted in unison, “Transform me!”

Several individual flashes meshed together, overtaking the room and then fading to leave several heroes behind, their weapons equipped for battle.

Su-Han looked amongst them, a flicker in his eyes that hinted that he knew he would be outmatched, but also wasn’t willing to admit it. He retreated a few steps back, hands out to show that he was prepared to defend himself.

It was at that moment that Ladybug heard and noticed movement from behind him, realization striking and a smile overtaking her face. Pulling back from her fighting pose, she placed a hand on her hip and stated confidently, “Captain Anarka will escort you out.”

He looked confused, and he was only able to let out a, “What—?” before a hand clamped down on his shoulder.

Su-Han wasn’t even able to turn around before he was pulled backward, a jewelry-adorned fist decking him in the face and sending him flying into the staircase. His scepter fell to the floor and he could only gape at the woman standing there, cracking her knuckles while he was sprawled out on the stairs with all air having been knocked out of him.

“A trespasser on my ship, eh?” Anarka asked, a grin on her face but her eyes glinting with malice. “I don’t take kindly to ship rats who threaten my crew and think they’re too good to walk the plank.”

Su-Han hurried to get up, only for Anarka to grab him by his shirt and haul him up the stairs, a rapid shuffling noise following as Ladybug went over and shut the door.

A few seconds passed and the atmosphere shifted to peace, everyone mutually releasing their transformations and relaxing. Marinette smiled reassuringly at everyone, letting them know that things were okay, but then jumped as she heard a resounding, “Marinette!”

The kwami all emerged from their hiding places, Marinette having no time to react as they all charged at her, their tiny bodies clinging affectionately to whatever they could grab of her.

“You’re amazing!”

“Thank you so much!”

“You stood up for us!”

“You’re the best guardian ever!”

Marinette gasped, finding it hard to move without disturbing any of them. Trying hard not to laugh, she protested, “Aha—hey! Stop, you’re all tickling me!”

She blushed, looking over at her teammates who were only staring at her with pride, which just made the pink on her cheeks turn red. “This is so embarrassing!”

Once the kwami had their fill of thanking her, they finally obeyed and flew away, each giving her smiles of approval. She covered her face with a hand, waiting for the shyness to die down, then noticed the guardian scepter out of the corner of her eye, still lying on the ground.

She approached, touching the scepter at first to make sure it was safe, then properly picking it up and letting it stand next to her. She tapped the gem on top, eyeing the compass that Su-Han had been talking to her about, then followed its direction back to the microwave. She walked over, opening it up, then took out the Miracle Box and held it in her free hand.

Looking back and forth between the two clearly ancient objects, she couldn’t help chuckling. “They don’t really suit me.”

Her friends giggled in response, Luka in particular shooting her a warm smile and approaching. One of his hands went to the scepter and the other went to rest on the Miracle Box.

“I think you make them work, actually,” he replied.

Marinette beamed at him, thoroughly warmed by the compliment. It didn’t feel like that long ago when her support was lacking and defeating Hawk Moth seemed like a pipe dream.

Now, holding the Miracle Box and scepter in her hands, she didn’t know why she’d ever doubted herself.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” Then, looking at the Su-Han-less room, she gave a shrug and walked back with Luka to the couch. “So, where were we?”

[kurtskrow]

⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞𝗦

⠀ ⠀ ⠀> Tap for better quality

⠀ ⠀ ⠀> Episode: Hope Falls

- Like I promised in my last post. I’d say why I have a love hate relationship with this episode. So yeah.

Another thing I love about this episode is that we get to learn more about Frank, and we get to see that Scott does indeed have a heart, and that he does learn from his mistakes. For those who don't know, at the beginning of the show. Scott is supposed to be seen as a stone cold stoner who just likes getting high, and has no heart. But past episode 3, we get to learn Scott does have a heart. This episode, Hope Falls, shows us that he does have a heart, and feels bad.

When Scott learns about Franks son, and that Franks son overdosed and died. When Frank says. "I never got to say goodbye." You can see how hurt Scott is. He looks down at the ground, speechless, he feels some sort of guilt, then looks back at Frank to listen to him.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

We learn that everyone in Horizon at one point has problems. Even the teachers and counselors have problems. Frank, the head master, the principle, even he has problems. He couldn't save his son, and he has some sort of guilt because his son, Tommy I believe, couldn't be saved.

We learn that everyone in Horizon at one point has problems. Even the teachers and counselors have problems. Frank, the head master, the principle, even he has problems. He couldn't save his son, and he has some sort of guilt because his son, Tommy I believe, couldn't be saved.

Another thing I love about this episode. This may sound fucked up. But I love how there is this kid who OD's, and tries to off himself by overdosing. I absolutely LOVE this. Not because he tried to off himself, but rather because of how real it is. Often times when kids are sent off to a ranch, such as Horizon, so they can get better. Instead of wanting to get better, they try to off themselves. This is the most real part of Higher Ground. The fact that kids will always try to off themselves.

This kid doesn't wanna be at Horizon, not to mention he hates his home, his life, and most importantly, himself. Due to this, he tries to off himself at the ranch. A ranch where nobody knows him, a ranch he knows damn well where nobody will miss him, so he tries to off himself.

I like that, it's so realistic, I just- man, I love it so much. Not to mention the kid looks like a Chinese knock-off of Scott.

Another part I liked was when Scott at the end apologizes to the kids mother, he clearly doesn't know what to say. But, you can tell he does feel bad for her, so he apologizes to her. It's a little detail of Scott that I like. Shows you, he does have a good heart deep down.

Also the way Scott rejects Shelby is just chefs kiss.

I love how Scott chops wood at the wood station. Later in the season it’s basically established that chopping wood is something Scott just does. The guy is always chopping wood. In episode 8- it’s like 5AM, and this boy is over here finding some wood to chop. It’s great. He just owns the wood station and I love it.

Now for the stuff I didn't like:

SHELBY. I hate Shelby in this episode. I like her most of the times cause she does a great job at being a special bitchy bitch. But my GOD was she incomprehensible. She tries so hard to hook up with Scott to the point where it is just unbearable to watch.

Now I'm not a smart man myself but believe me when I say, I understand what "no, I don't wanna hook up with you." means. And for some reason, Shelby doesn't understand what, "you're a skank." means.

The most memorable thing about Shelby in this episode, is her purposefully provoking Scott because he tells her, "I quit smoking." Shelby gets pissed at Scott, because he says, "I quit smoking." And it is BEYOND retarded. She literally goes up to his face and is like. "Oh yeah? Well when I lived in the streets you took what you could."

As someone who raised in a ghetto ass area. Yes, in the streets or the hood, you would take whatever you could get, but, you had the opportunity to say no. Nobody forced me to do meth, heroin, cocaine, none of that shit when I was in California. They would offer it yeah, but they wouldn't force it upon me. When I would reject, they'd leave me alone, they wouldn't pressure me for shit. So the fact that Shelby says this, is so stupid to me, because if you say no, TRUST ME, they will leave you alone. Trainspotting is a great movie that displays this. None of the drug addicts force their non-druggie friend to do drugs. In fact, it was all his choice to do drugs. Which is exactly what happens 8 times out of 10.

People always act like most drug dealers will pressure you into taking drugs, or smoking, when the reality is, they won't. They really won't. You say no, to your druggie friends, or to a drug dealer, they will leave you alone. You know how I know this? Because every time I rejected an offer to do some sort of drug, they would leave me alone right after. So Shelby saying this, IS STUPID beyond belief.

Another thing I hate, is how Shelby doesn't understand the words, "No." because she borderline harasses Scott from episode 1-9. She never leaves him alone. She's always like. "Scott, I want your dick."

Scott goes. "Uh... no thanks."

Shelby proceeds to get mad. And it's so stupid. Yes, Scott said no, too bad. He doesn't want you, move on. BUT SHE DOESN'T. She doesn't move on, she continues and continues and continues, even though he says no multiple times. Scott even acknowledges that Shelby is no good for him, he basically tells her. "You're no good for me, Juliette is better, she's loyal, she loves me, and I love her." But Shelby pursues him, she still tries to make him cheat on Juliette.

I hate this so much. He said no. HE LITERALLY TELLS HER NO, and for some reason, she STILL tries to get him to cheat on Juliette. I hate it so much. But Scott, our loyal boyo, rejects her every time.

And so, Shelby, tries her best to make Scott doubt Juliette. What sucks is that she succeeds because she says. "Auggie was all up in Juliette's pants." This works, and Scott starts doubting his relationship with Juliette and it sucks ass, because, she was also loyal to Scott and was very healthy for him, but whatever I guess. I don't fuckin know.

Another thing I hate about this episode is Isaac's mother. Her acting is just deplorable. It's atrocious, it is genuinely hard to watch her acting. It's awful. It is downright awful. It is hard to watch, it really is. I'm not kidding. So, that is one thing I despise about this episode.

The other thing I hate, is I DON'T KNOW IF SCOTT IS DATING JULIETTE. This is the one fucking problem with Juliette and Scott. It is never established when these two officially started going out. Yes, in Episode 2, Juliette gently pecks Scott's lips, and it makes him shy, and that's it. That's literally it. You don't ACTUALLY know that's when they started going out, but that's when it's established they had a thing for each other.

Shelby talks about how Scott only has Juliette but- you're still confused if they're dating or not. You're always left assuming. "Are these two dating? Or are they actually friends with benefits?" I've watched this show 37 times now, and I STILL for the life of me, do not know when Scott and Juliette started dating. And this episode, doesn't help in the slightest.

Instead, this episode makes you assume that they started going out in the episode prior, but in the episode prior, they weren't really talking, so in this episode, you are assuming they are a thing, but you still don't know beCAUSE, IT ISN'T. FUCKING. ESTABLISHED.

Yes, Scott did fight Auggie because Auggie kissed Juliette. But if you loved a girl, and some other fuck came in, and kissed the girl you loved, you would be pissed and tell them fuck off cause you want that girl and you don't want competition.

You know when they break up but you don't know when they officially started dating, and it sucks ass cheeks.

My rating for this episode: 8/10.

8 because the plot is good. But, 1.5 is taken away due to Shelby, and the other .5 is because of all the other stuff. That's it, bye.