#but the genetics don't match

[art-ember]

OKAY SO THE RANSOU TEASER CAME OUT

And as cool as seeing the Kiyama and Bel is, I'm more focus on this scene:

Basically Bel interupts Ransou's diary to say "What are you doing Ransou? Pri is almost here and she--" and then proceeds to demand to see the diary.

However this raises multiple questions

1) Why did Bel call her Pri? Is that a nickname? Is that maybe her real name? If it's her real name, then I guess the siglings would be Pax and Pri which sorta matches a little

2) If it's her real name, why does Bel know it? If it's a nickname, why that of all things?

3) The way Bel speaks sounds less like a "My next opponent is here to battle!" And more like a casual "The person I was expecting to visit is here". And that coupled with the fact that Pri has a backpack is making me suspect she might be staying with Bel.

Either way, I'm still very excited for this!!!

[sergle]

I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

[straydogged]

:( it figures, I finally got my shoulder back in place with the help of a supportive pillow and a heat pack to make the muscles relax, and now it feels like it might be slipping out again because I am no longer holding myself up by a pillow.

[sage-nebula]

So what kinda food does eggmam have? Nutritional paste? Boiled chicken? I'd assume he eats better, but i'm not sure how efficient it would be to gather 2 separate food sources for the only 2 creatures that need to eat

I remember reading somewhere that Eggman likes eating more than three meals a day, so I think the same holds true for him in Beyond Oblivion (and I'm going to refer to him from here on out as Robotnik, since he never got the Eggman moniker and that makes it easier to keep things clear; sorry I didn't do that in previous posts). He has at least four big meals a day for himself, and they're proper meals, covering all food groups. I don't think he seasons his food at all though; he's like your standard colonizer in that he decimated / took over all these islands and all these different places where there were all sorts of different spices and then he doesn't use them. Like he probably salts his food (and maybe oversalts it), but that's it. So while he eats meat and starches and vegetables and whatever, none of it's seasoned properly. No spicy food at all. I also think he probably snacks on plenty of junk food and stuff throughout the day too, especially when he's gaming. So his kitchen is stocked full of food for him. He gets whatever he wants.

Miles . . . does not. You know how a really spoiled child doesn't want to share anything? That's how Robotnik is. He's #1, everything is his first. He's not about to have a situation where the food that he wants is not available to him at all times. With that said though, if he lets Miles starve to death then he also loses his sysadmin. Like it does him no good if he brings Miles on to do behind-the-scenes stuff and then Miles dies and can't do them. So the order that Robotnik gives the kitchen robots is "give him whatever's left over." Like anything extra that's there, that's what Miles can have. Usually when Miles gets a meal, it is an actual meal; chicken and rice, or bread and soup, things like that. But like I said, it's not really flavorful because Robotnik doesn't really like spicy or flavorful things, and so the kitchen robots don't make spicy or flavorful things. So like the most flavorful thing Miles has had is whatever comes flavored naturally, like fruit. (And he also ate fruit on West Side Island, before Robotnik took him in. Fish too, probably.) Hence why the spicy chili was such a shock, albeit a good one; it's the first time he can ever remember tasting something that spicy and bold.

Oh, and once Starline joins the team, he would also just get whatever's left over, except he's an adult and can leave and get his own food, which he does. He eats three square meals a day. Miles, being 8, isn't in that position, hence "one meal a day if I finish my work" and all the malnourishment and stunted growth that goes with it.

[mickdickies]

*falling down a rabbit hole of medical research at work* okay, i want a penis transplant now

[recycledraccoon]

What if....

Damien and Danyal Al Ghul are twins. Danyal takes heavily after Bruce but Damien is a perfect mix of their parents, and he came out of the artificial womb first, so Damien is decided to be the heir.

Growing up in the League is hard, but Damien excels in a way that Danyal doesn't, because for all the potential Danyal has, he hates the killing and there is a rebellious streak evident even as young as they are. A rebellious streak is a...very dangerous thing to have. Grandfather won't kill Danyal, for as ruthless as he is he doesn't kill his own lineage. But that is not to say that the additional "training" Danyal goes through is merciful.

Damien and Danyal love each other, not just as brothers but also in the way partners do when they don't even have to blink to anticipate the others actions in the midst of action. Which is why Damien, not even yet six, can see the way Danyal is being broken down under the burden of their joint legacy.

So many times, in so many of the universes in which he exists, Danyal Al Ghul is or is seemingly killed, of which is the catalyst for his escape from the League of Assassins, and his brother is left behind thinking him truly dead.

In this universe, when the Demon Twins are out on a training mission (an assassination of a target so easy it's beneath the League for anything other than the simplest of first training missions) a massive earthquake occurs.

They are alive at the end, but both their communication devices are beyond repair. Damien is more roughed up than Danyal at the end, but both are dirty and bloodied.

This is an unprecedented opportunity, of which Damien knows deep down he will never get again.

He loves his brother deeply, but Danyal is weak, always hesitating before the kill, hands shaking. Damien loves his brother and fighting side by side, but he values more the quiet moments when Danyal is looking at star maps and trying to match them up with the sky above their home or making snarky comments about their trainers under his breath. (After when they can't hear Damien doesn't laugh but Danyal always knows he agrees and is amused.)

Grandfather's and Mother's additional training to bring Danyal up to Damien's level is making Danyal go quiet and emotionless and Damien is selfish.

(Damien convinces his twin brother to leave the League of Assassins.)

Damien drags himself to the rendezvous point and returns home alone, reporting the target dead and his brother lost under rock in the quake, body unable to be recovered. He is colder, furious at the world and himself. He pushes and pushes and PUSHES himself. He is the last remaining of a set and he will prove himself perfect to carry the title of Heir perfectly and without reproach. He is more loyal day by day, the guilt his selfishness and betrayal of his family a deep sting he can't ignore.

Talia does search, but so many bodies were lost or unidentified inside mass graves. She grieves and then refocuses on her remaining son without looking back. Grandfather laments the loss, but cares little for the spare in the long run.

Meanwhile, Danyal hid himself long enough to sneak onto one of many transports filled with foreign aid. He is small and sneakier than any average stowaway, and remains undetected all the way to the US.

He doesn't go to Gotham to find his father, but picks a direction at random and leaves, until eventually he's picked up and put in the system. Bouncing around until one day, not long after he turns seven, the Dr.'s Fenton and their young daughter are visiting in their search to adopt their second child. (A combination of genetics and radiation from their earliest experiments in college leaving the pair with low fertility rates and very high risks if they ever did get pregnant. The two get procedures early on and adopt Jazz when she is still fairly young, but wait until she is a bit older before adopting again.)

Danyal Al Ghul had an older twin brother.

Daniel Fenton doesn't think he could handle having an older brother again, but an older sister is acceptable.

Danyal left to go full civilian, and when Damien had sent him off decided he would carry that knowledge to his grave if he must. He tells no one, and does not even mention ever having a twin when he goes to live with their Father in Gotham. If Mother did not tell Father of the deceased son, then neither will Damien.

Danyal Al Ghul is dead, and Damien will keep it that way.

.

.

.

.

(The greatest secret is this: The two have never lost contact. It is very easy, during a natural disaster, to steal a pair of burner phones, each with one number only on them and prepaid with enough stolen funds to last years. Danny smuggles his with him in one piece, Damien smuggles his in pieces, ready to be hidden and repaired when necessary. He checks it scarcely, but every few months is enough to make sure his twin is alive. When he goes to live with Father in Gotham, they communicate a bit more frequently. This remains his most fiercely protected secret.)

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

@hellsitegenetics

I love them

I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.

it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!

so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches

perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for

It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!

Creatures 👍

Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite

Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.

I love them. English speakers talk like moths

If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!

They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!

uhh it’s cool

BLAST

There are so many weird bugs in the world

Yippee!!

If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.

Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH

Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie

the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise

This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.

If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3

@official-boob-posts

This blog was featured in the video ‘Depths Of The Tumblr Gimmick Blog Iceberg’ on the YouTube channel ‘STRANGE ÆONS.’

Boobs ( . )( . )

[hellsitegenetics]

Hello! I hope this texts works for your fun genetics thing and the brackets dont mess it up <3

HEY EVERY !! IT'S ME!!! EV3RY BUDDY 'S FAVORITE [[Number 1 Rated Salesman1997]] SPAMT SPAMTON G. SPAMTON!! WOAH!! IF IT ISN"T A... LIGHT nER! HEY-HE Y HEY!!! LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE [[All Alone On A Late Night?]] ALL YOUR FRIENDS, [[Abandoned you for the slime]] YOU ARE? SALES, GONE DOWN THE [[Drain]] [[Drain]]?? LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN??? WELL HAVE I GOT A [[Specil Deal]] FOR LONELY [[Hearts]] LIKE YOU!! IF YOU'VE [[Lost Control Of Your Life]] THEN YOU JUST GOTTA GRAB IT BY THE [[Silly Strings]] WHY BE THE [Little Sponge]] WHO HATES ITS [[$4.99]] LIFE WHEN YOU CAN BE A [[BIG SHOT!!!]] [[BIG SHOT!!!!]] [[BIG SHOT!!!!!]] THAT'S RIGHT!! NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A [[BIG SHOT]]!! AND I HAVE JUST. THE THING. YOU NEED. THAT'S [[Hyperlink Blocked]] YOU WANT IT. YOU WANT [[Hyperlink Blocked]] DON'T YOU. WELL HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SHOW ME. YOUR [[HeartShapedObject]]. YOU'RE LIGHT neR< AREN'T YOU? YOUVE GOT THE [[LIGHT.]] WHY DON'T YOU [[Show it off?]]

Thank you!

String identified: !! T' !!! ' AT [[ at aa]] AT AT G. AT!! A!! T "T A… GT ! - !!! ' [[A A A at gt?]] A , [[Aa t ]] A? A, G T [[a]] [[a]]?? G A GA GAAG CA??? A GT A [[c a]] [[at]] !! ' [[t Ct ]] T T GTTA GA T T [[ tg]] T [tt g]] AT T [[$.]] CA A [[G T!!!]] [[G T!!!!]] [[G T!!!!!]] TAT' GT!! ' CAC T A [[G T]]!! A A T. T TG. . TAT' [[ c]] AT T. AT [[ c]] 'T . A GT A A !! A A T . [[atact]]. ' GT < A'T ? GT T [[GT.]] 'T [[ t ?]]

Closest match: Salarias fasciatus genome assembly, chromosome: 23 Common name: Lawnmower blenny

[lovifie]

A/B/O!Reader x Task Force 141

Back to Masterlist - 560 words

Task Force 141, the most fear-inducing task of the active force. 

Before you joined, it was composed of four massive, scary-looking alpha. At some point, everyone thought about how there were no fights between them.

A normal pack cannot function without members of all subgenders, but again, the 141 is not a normal pack.

John Price, captain of the unit and leader of the pack; whatever he said was set on stone. The alpha, whose parents were both betas was the perfect mix of genetic and learned habilites, a calming and reassuring nature unpropper of an alpha.

You were surprised when you were to his office, even more, when the other three men were also inside. But they matched your surprise with theirs when they saw you enter the room. 

Almost comically small next to them, you were not built as Soap who (at just a couple of inches shorter than the rest) makes up for it with his wideness. You are short, have the athletic build proper of a soldier, a cute face and a neck covered in scent blocker tape. 

“I don't like it when people can tell what I'm feeling.”

That was the only explanation. 

Still, they were surprised. You were not what they expected, on your file was just a list of the missions you have completed, many of them going solo and still succeeding. Little was written about you outside of work: “Behavioral problems (they don't interfere with the mission), don't touch scent blocker tape; will use scent tactics to teammates.”

But the task force was not the most normal one to begin with, so they were not the right one to judge. You'll fit in just fine. 

And it did, for months until something happened on a mission.

There are expensive suppressants, too expensive. And even with your raise, you can't afford them. So you use the slightly worse one, the one that makes you feel every symptom of your heat just one step before collapsing. But as long as anybody else knows you are an omega, everything will work out.

You are used to them already, on the outside you look perfectly fine, a little bit pissed if anything. On the inside, you can feel your blood boil with your fever, your bones hurt as if they were being broken and your inner omega keeps screaming at you to jump any of the men walking mere meters before you. 

The ice-cold water of the river you are walking across helps you with the high temperature of your body, and when it gets too deep you need to swim across you don't really mind it. Until you finally get out, and the corner of the tape of your neck starts to itch. 

You scratch it, pressing it down as you do, but instead; it gets stuck on your glove peeling it back, your nose instantly filling with the reekingly sweet smell of an omega on heat.

You tape it back quickly, trying not to panic, is fine, it was just a second, you are wearing a scarf over the tape, you smelled it because is your own neck. 

Everyone just got out of the water, is fine, they probably didn't smell you. It's fine.

And when they turn around, eyes black with how dilated their pupils are, and you know.

They have smelled you.

[loneliii-aura]

There is no amount of education that will keep people from being fascists. People can and do twist any amount of arguments to their own convictions, and I've heard plenty of people argue for conservative and/or fascist ideals in "progressive" language. Even the best education money can buy will just arm fascists with the tools to spread their convictions to other educated, upper class people in a 'palatable' manner. All it takes is enough distrust of an outgroup (brought about by fear, disgust, or spite, and rarely has anything to do with the outgroup's actual behavior - conservatives and fascists will find the behavior to justify the belief, they generally don't form the belief by observing behavior) to start the spark that can become full fledged fascism.

This isn't to say education should be discarded - better education does tend to result in a better quality of life overall. But there's no amount of critical thinking classes you can teach people that will get everyone to understand that your-choice-of outgroup isn't the major threat to their livelihood. Particularly not in times of stress when people run on their gut reactions - and if that gut reaction says 'hate the outgroup', by god they'll hate the outgroup.

[caxycreations]

Okay, I've been nerd sniped, I'm sorry

NOTE: If you're going to reblog just to say "not reading that" or some other rude shit, DON'T. I've seen so many notifications of people just saying they couldn't be bothered to read it. I don't know if it's just that they don't see how incredibly rude and disheartening that is or if they know and don't care, but either way it really hurts to see, so please don't reblog if it's just to tell me you won't read it.

So let's go through the canonical likelihood they could each beat Goku. For the sake of keeping canon, we'll keep groups/pairs together if they would never reasonably be apart for something like this. Long post below the cut.

So first up are the ones I see that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Saiki K

Saiki is an omnipotent psychic/psionic with quite literally every single possible power out there. Now, this on its own isn't enough to beat Goku. Versatility doesn't mean everything, but Saiki is also powerful enough to rewrite the genetics and reality of everything within range, and his range is, so far, "Earth".

So this, on its own, would allow him to rewrite Goku's biology to make him Human. Bye bye zenkai boosts, bye bye Saiyan transformations. And Saiki, with his powers, has no trouble beating a Human of any caliber if he truly wanted to. And for those who ask "Why would he ever fight Goku?"

One simple reason: Goku would sense his immense power, and be excited for a fight. Goku is respectful enough to not force one if he's refused, but he's persistent enough to badger Saiki until he's given a chance. And Saiki, being Saiki, would simply take off one of his limiters, or both, and rewrite reality as such: "Being an alien isn't possible", thereby making it effective immediately that Goku must be lying/insane, and he is, in fact, Human. Easy win for Saiki.

And for those who would argue against this, bear in mind, the funniest way to beat Goku in this instance would be to simply make him weaker than Saiki, and Saiki is a gag character from a gag series, and it's already been shown in the world of Dragon Ball, and again in Dragon Ball Super, that Goku is incapable of defeating a gag character regardless of that characters canonical ability.

Saiki could win without gag character status, but even in the instance of Goku "beating" him, the gag would turn out to be that Saiki only pretended to get beaten, and is actually entirely unharmed because it was the easiest way to get Goku to leave him alone. Followed by a reveal that Goku will still show up now and then to ask for sparring matches, to drive the point home.

Popeye

Gag character. Would get beaten handily, crawl his way to spinach, and then be exactly as strong as he needs to be to take Goku down in however many hits is funniest.

Bugs Bunny

The gag character to end all gag characters. Someone on this hellsite once described Bugs as a "Trickster God who traps us in our own societal expectations" or some such. Like convincing Thanos to remove the Infinity Gauntlet by establishing a security checkpoint with a metal detector and shaming him into cooperating by telling him there's others waiting.

He could beat Goku in a billion ways, and each and every one of them would involve some shenanigan like Goku throwing a spirit bomb, Bugs showing up behind him holding it, saying "Ehhh, can you hold this for a second?" and as soon as Goku takes it and Bugs is off-screen, it would explode and Goku would be a pile of ashes with blinking eyes. Bugs would win because Bugs' gag is that...well, he simply can't be beaten.

The Warner Trio

Gag trio. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot would snark, sass, and sarcastic-joke their way into the scene, and they would spend the entire time poking fun at him, roasting his look, being unfazed by his attacks because "Nice laser show but we didn't bring our glowsticks." and just being too unbothered to care.

They would undoubtedly annoy Goku into admitting defeat simply to get away from them.

Road Runner

Gag character. Would force Goku to chase him, Goku would fire some blasts, chase him around, and inevitably be led right into the path of a blast he fired earlier to be disintegrated by it.

Pop Team Epic

I know nothing about this series except that it is a gag series. They are gag characters. That means Goku is inherently incapable of beating them.

ASDF Guy

Gag character. Could beat Goku with a simple "Hello, Mine-Turtle!" or "I like Trains."

Heart Diagram

Goku was literally killed by a heart virus in Future Trunks' timeline. This is one that has actually canonically already killed Goku.

Chowder

Gag character. Would likely be after S-Cells for some recipe and need to take Goku's as he's "The only Saiyan in this episode!" or some such, thereby ending the fight with a shot of Chowder wearing Goku's Gi for comedic effect while Dahl stirs raw Super Saiyan aura in a pot to hint that Chowder killed Goku for his S-Cells.

Force Ghost Trio

Gag versions of serious characters, and also ghosts. Goku is canonically unable to beat ghosts or gag characters, and these guys are both.

Those are the ones that would, without a doubt, beat Goku.

Now, let's go over the ones that could, potentially, be it likely or unlikely.

Kirby

Kirby is often considered a gag character, but he isn't. He has a very specific level of power, even if that level of power is "fuck you" levels of power. Kirby has beaten Gods, but so has Goku, even more often and with greater ease. However, Kirby has absorption and power-theft. Kirby could, potentially, absorb Goku (he isn't the brightest and Kirby has his unassuming appearance on his side) and take on his strongest form, including its powerup, and given Kirby in base form is likely more powerful than Goku in base form (Goku needed SSJ to scare Supreme Kai, Kirby beats Gods in base), it's possible Kirby would be more powerful than Goku with the same power up.

Kevin McCallister

Okay, hear me out.

Kevin is technically a gag character, BUT. He is not TRULY a gag character. He just happens to be a comedy character.

So he isn't guaranteed to win, but he could still possibly do so. How you ask?

Goku has been somewhat injured or lightly shaken by the following: planet-shattering attacks. Punches that rock the universe. Energy blasts so potent they would destroy entire galaxies.

Goku has been rendered inconsolable from the pain of the following: chest pain and a half-heartedly, boredly tossed pebble.

It is canon that when Goku and the other fighters in the series are expecting an attack or primed for battle, they are protected by their ki, like armor. It's how they're able to knock away attacks that would destroy planets, or put their "bare" hands on plasma energy that would normally burn the skin off you from a mile away let alone touching it.

This is why when Krillin threw the rock at Goku, it left him in agony and bruised him despite Goku being in Super Saiyan form at the time. This is why Chi-Chi is able to injure Goku regardless of how strong he gets.

So, how does this relate to Kevin being able to beat him? It's everything. It's critical information.

Kevin McCallister's entire M.O. is unexpected attacks. You open a door, you see a bucket fall, think it's over, turns out no, second bucket pulled by the first, second bucket is full of paint and open, you're blinded, you get your bearings, you take a step and feel cars, you smirk and step over them only to find marbles, you slip, you land on the cars which turn out to have been rigged to break easier to let loose a single thumbtack which is now firmly stuck in your back or butt. You bolt upright only to slam your head on a 2x4 that was rigged to hang down from a rope when you fell because your impact shook things enough to make it fall from a precarious perch above.

You get the idea. Every time you think it's safe to let your guard down, that's when the next wave hits. So you say "well he would stop letting his guard down" right? You fool. You know nothing of Goku. He would never put his guard UP. This is a human child, Goku can sense his pitiful power level. His strength? His speed? His ki? Weak. Pathetic. Nothing. A scouter wouldn't even register his power it's so low.

Goku never raises his guard to Chi-Chi, or to Bulma, or to Hercule. He does not raise his defense against normal, powerless, non-combative humans.

"BUT KEVIN IS COMBATIVE" No. He isn't. Goku can sense intent, power, and location. But Kevin isn't actively intending to hurt Goku. He's intending to protect himself and his home. He's not actively wanting to hurt Goku, he's just wanting Goku to leave. He doesn't have power to threaten Goku with, so Goku won't pick up on any threatening aura. And while Goku could simply instant transmission to Kevin and do what he will, we're not talking about how Goku could win, we're going over the fact Kevin could POSSIBLY win.

Enough injury and Goku is down for the count. Otherwise, Goku leaves to avoid further injury, and thereby admits defeat. Both cases, Kevin wins.

Shedinja

This one took me...quite a while. I had to do a lot of extra research for this. So, my immediate thought was Shedinja is a Ghost type, so ghost rules, right? Nah. Bug and Ghost type, and they are the physical shell left behind that has been reanimated. So they very much are physical beings, and given their ability to faint in the games and show they are capable of being physically damaged.

But There's a real case to be made for Shedinja beating Goku.

It can learn Ghost type moves, which operate on ghost-logic, and therefore are a canon weakness Goku is known to have. So things like Shadow Ball, Hex, Curse, and the like would all effect Goku regardless of Ki or form.

It also has access to Wonder Guard, which renders it "immune to all damage types that are not Super-Effective". For those unaware, we can actually attribute Typings to Goku's moves based on attributes and traits they share with Pokemon moves. His melee is, by nature, Fighting type, which Shedinja is immune to. In fact, Shedinja is immune to ALL attack types except Flying, Rock, Ghost, Dark, and Fire type moves, which are all Super Effective.

Goku's most common methods would actually fall under Fighting and Normal type attacks. "But his Ki blasts-" would be Normal type moves. You want proof?

Focus Energy is Normal Type. Quick Attack is Normal Type. Self Destruct is Normal Type. Techno Blast is Normal Type. Tera Blast is Normal Type. These are all energy based moves similar to ki blasts. Know what other energy based move is Normal Type? Hyperbeam. Which is almost identical to the Kamehameha and every other beam attack in DBZ.

Those few attacks Goku has that aren't going to be Normal Type will be Fighting Type.

Shedinja is Immune to all Normal and Fighting Type moves. Goku literally can not damage Shedinja, but Shedinja can damage Goku through Ghost Type moves. Shedinja can beat Goku. But why is it not "absolutely will" beat him? Because Goku can also transform his Ki and if he finds out Shedinja is vulnerable to fire, he can and will use that to his advantage.

That's who could potentially beat Goku. Here's who absolutely could not.

Saitama

I forgot to go over Saitama originally so here's the edit that features that analysis. Bear in mind I am saying this as someone who has seen Seasons 1 and 2 of the show AND is aware of some of the events of the manga.

A lot of reblogs over Saitama claim he is a gag character. But there is a case to be made that he is NOT. What is that case you ask? Well, for the sake of fairness, here is how I am handling gag characters: if their gag is in effect in 100% of all cases (such as looney tunes like Bugs or Road Runner) or if the gag is triggered in 100% of all cases (such as Saiki K or Chowder) then they are a True Gag Character and will insta-win.

However, if their gag has failed (such as Wario, or, yes, even Saitama) in ANY case, then it CAN fail again, and the fairest fight is one against two non-gag characters, so we can safely apply non-gag Saitama here since his gag has failed and Goku meets the conditions to cause it to fail again, which I'll explain.

So, first off, how does his gag fail? Well, his gag is that he kills everything instantly in one hit, unless he actively chooses not to. So we can safely say his gag fails if any of the following are true: he fails to instantly kill an enemy with a single hit while intending to do so, OR if he fails to kill an enemy with a serious hit intended to kill.

He meets both of these conditions. Boros survived for several seconds AFTER Saitama hit him with a Serious Punch. It was a single hit that intended to kill...But he didn't kill Boros INSTANTLY with it. Another example of his gag failing, if that doesn't satisfy, is Garou. Garou, in the manga, has survived MULTIPLE Serious Punches with intent to kill. This, on its own, is proof Saitama's Serious Punch does in fact have a limit to its output. It also proves his gag can, and does, fail against certain opponents.

So the next thing we need to look at is similarities between Garou and Boros to identify what they share that could possibly allow them to get around Saitama's gag, or to nullify it entirely. First similarity is that both are determined to have a good, satisfying fight. Boros crossed the stars seeking one, and Garou sought to become a true Monster powerful enough to force every hero, every do-gooder, to unite under one banner just to take him down. They both seek a battle to end all battles, even if Garou's intention is to end it in his favor, not simply enjoy the fight.

The second similarity is that they have incredibly unique circumstances, even by OPM standards. Garou is a man who has always felt love for the bad guy, he looks to the monsters as inspirations, as the misunderstood and the victimized by those claiming to be heroes. He's trained by an S-Class hero, and has developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of his dream. Very much a true foil to Saitama, who looked to heroes in comics as inspirations, as the righteous and unshakably moral, self-taught through and through and developed into a being of unimaginable power in the pursuit of HIS dream. Garou is, in this way, a reflection of Saitama, the Tails to Saitama's Heads, the dark to his light.

Boros on the other hand is an alien, forced to become strong by his homeworld's unforgiving conditions, developing a level of power necessary to survive and then some, and on realizing he was far too powerful for his own good, he sought purpose, meaning, and when he heard he may find a worthy opponent, he did everything he could to achieve that future, to realize his dream of facing a foe that would give him a true challenge.

So what are the similarities we can identify? Notably unique circumstances even by OPM standards, sharing strong similarities to Saitama's desires or dreams (Garou dreaming of becoming the greatest Monster vs Saitama dreaming of becoming the greatest Hero, Boros feeling lost in life and seeking a worthy foe vs Saitama feeling bored with living and wishing for the sensation of a real fight again), and the desire for a serious and ultimate battle.

Goku fits ALL of these conditions. He is an alien sent to Earth for his protection, grew up in hostile conditions (surviving on his own for most of his childhood, constant battles with Nation-level threats throughout his teen years, constant battles with world or universe-level threats throughout his adulthood), trained extensively until he was the best of the best, has the ultimate dream of a truly satisfying battle (a dream he routinely seeks out by facing down powerful foes), and being entirely bored with mundane life because there's absolutely no challenge to it, not to mention the fact he has the ultimate dream of becoming the strongest, something he shares with Saitama's pre-OPM self.

Since Goku fits ALL the conditions needed to make this battle exempt from the gag, we will NOT be considering it, as Saitama is not a True Gag Character, and Goku fitting conditions for nullifying it means we can assume actual power limits and such.

So let's look at feats of power. Saitama's Serious Side Hop technique allowed him to create AT LEAST 60 after-images (based on the manga panel) which, when compared with Sonic's 4, means Saitama was moving 15x faster than Sonic in that moment (bare minimum). An afterimage like that is created by moving at least 572mph, stopping in each position for at least 1/255th of a second (any less and the human eye can't pick up on it), so by moving from position A to B for 1/255th of a second and back to A, going 572mph between the two, you create the afterimage.

Sonic creates 4 simultaneously, meaning he needs to move to 3 positions and then back to starting position, or go from A to B, B to A, A to C, C to A, A to D, and repeat.

This means Sonic, to move into each of these positions in less than 1/255th of a second, would need to be moving ~4x faster than the speed for one afterimage. That puts him as moving at 2,228mph while creating those 4 afterimages. Given he is capable of Mach 5 speeds (he's said to be hypersonic) this feat is easy for him, as Mach 5 is 3,805mph. I assume, just as it's easier to move at top speed in a straight line than at sharp turns for a normal person, it's likely more difficult to create such consistent afterimages and so the difficulty that makes it his best attack is from the technique and reaction involved, not the speed itself.

In any case, if Saitama made at least 60 afterimages, putting him at 15x faster than Sonic's speed while creating 4, that puts Saitama's speed at 33,420mph just to account for the 60 we can count in the manga panel. This means 33,420 is the MINIMUM speed we can assume for Saitama's max ability. To be generous, given he wasn't winded after doing that and given he was able to react incredibly easily to the near-instant directional changes, I'll be kind and put his maximum speed at 10,000x this number.

That puts Saitama's speed at 334,200,000mph, or 49.8% the speed of light. We'll be kind again and say 50% the speed of light, round up that last .2%

So we have a speed value for Saitama. Now what about Goku? Well, let's look at Goku on Namek, for a moment. Base form Goku, at the start of his fight against Freeza. Goku, BEFORE his super saiyan transformation, was moving at 3.26 (we'll round down to 3) times the speed of light. How do I get this number? Buckle up, it's involved.

The Namekian ship Bulma, Krillin, and Gohan took to get to Namek made it from Earth to Jupiter in "seconds". That means less than a minute, so we'll say it took them 1 minute just to lowball it and to have a solid starting number. Jupiter, when the two planets are at their closest to each other (assuming shorter distance for slower speed, another lowball), is 365,000,000 miles from Earth. This means the Namekian ship moved 365mil miles in 1 minute.

That puts the Namekian ship at a speed of 21.9 billion miles per hour. They made it to Namek in 30 days of travel. The ship Goku took to Namek made the trip in 5 days. That means Goku's ship is 6 times faster than the Namekian ship. Don't worry, the ship speed DOES matter in this, I promise you.

So Goku's ship moves at 131,400,000,000mph. That's 131 billion, 400 million miles per hour. Or 195x the speed of light.

Why does the ship speed matter so much, you might ask?

Because King Kai could visually keep up with the ship. He was able to track Goku's progress with ease, and could see his ships movements without problems. This means King Kai's eyes and brain are capable of perceiving and processing things that move at 195x the speed of light.

Why does that matter? Because Super Saiyan is canonically a 50x multiplier to ALL base ability. Strength, speed, durability, etc.

And Goku, in Super Saiyan, was moving so fast King Kai stated he could no longer keep up. King Kai, capable of seeing and processing the input of vision on a ship moving 195x the speed of light, could not see or process the input of vision on Super Saiyan Goku.

We'll lowball it, and say Goku only needed to move 1 mph faster than 195x the speed of light for King Kai to lose track of him. So whatever value we get, we'll add 1mph to for Goku's base form speed.

So 195x the speed of light +1mph. 195/50=3.9x the speed of light. That's 2,616,900,000mph, adding in the extra mph makes it 2,616,900,001mph. So Base Form Goku moves at ~3.9x the speed of light, ON NAMEK. Super Saiyan is a 50x multiplier, putting him at ~195x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 2 is a 100x multiplier to Base, so 390x the speed of light. Super Saiyan 3 is a 400x multiplier, so 1,560x the speed of light. Super Saiyan God is a 20,000 multiplier so 78,000x the speed of light. Super Saiyan Blue is a 1 million times multiplier, so 3,900,000x the speed of light. And lastly, Mastered Ultra Instinct is a 300 billion times multipler, so 1.17 trillion times the speed of light.

Why did I bother going through all those multipliers? He wins in Base as of Namek saga lol. Anyway, continuing on to strength now that we've established Base Goku on Namek could move 3.9x faster than the Speed of Light while Saitama could only move at 0.5x the Speed of Light.

Strength. Okay. This one is harder to gauge, but we CAN gauge it. We'll go in terms of level of damage, so human level (would be on-par or less than peak human ability), town level (small towns), city level (large cities), nation level (an entire nation, less than a continent), continent level (one or more nations that span an entire continent), world-surface level (the surface of an Earth-sized planet), Planetary (capable of destroying an entire Earth-sized planet), Solar (capable of destroying a solar system), Galactic (capable of destroying a galaxy), multi-galactic (capable of destroying many galaxies), Universal (capable of destroying an entire universe), Multiversal (capable of destroying multiple universes).

We'll start with Goku this time. Goku's punches are, as of the Battle of Gods arc, strong enough to match Beerus perfectly to nullify the shockwaves of Beerus' attacks. Mind you, the mere shockwave of Beerus' attacks are enough to rip and tear the fabric of the universe itself, as stated by Elder Kai. This puts Goku's punches as being powerful enough to tear the fabric of the universe in when he first obtained Super Saiyan God. Why does this matter for Base Goku? Because Base Goku retained his SSJG power, as stated by Beerus.

So Goku in Base, post-battle of gods, is physically capable of punches that can tear apart the universe from the aftershocks alone. This is important to note because Elder Kai could physically feel the shockwaves from the World of the Kais. This makes Goku Universe-level in strength. This means Goku, post-BoG, in Super Saiyan is 50x stronger than what's needed for Universal, while Goku, as of current manga canon (assuming he didn't actually get any stronger since BoG and is simply more powerful due to new transformations) is capable of a form (Mastered Ultra Instinct) that puts him 300 billion times stronger than minimum Universe level strength.

And Saitama? Where does he fit here? Well, I thought this gap would be bigger honestly? But after researching, it seems the gap isn't all that big. Saitama has, canonically, with a Serious Punch, snuffed out an entire cylinder of stars and presumably every planet, moon, asteroid, and more, at a distance surpassing that of our solar system, and with a diameter surpassing it as well. This puts Saitama's power (if we lowball it MASSIVELY) at Solar. He could, in a single punch, destroy our entire solar system, and he wouldn't even need to be serious to do it. It's worth noting this is coupled with Garou's own Saitama-level Serious Punch, so we can assume this level of power is double Saitama's own.

So how do we determine the specifics? Well, he cleared an area large enough to cover, presumably, half the area of stars destroyed in the path of his and Garou's serious punches.

Through future revelations in the series we learn they didn't "destroy" every star in that path, but likely only several were destroyed, and possibly a galaxy, while the remainder of the void left behind was from the shockwave forcing every other star within range into a new position, creating a void in space that all stars had been moved from, save the few that were in the DIRECT path of their attack.

Another theory is that the Serious Punch^2 simply distorted the photons in the area, resulting in the appearance of a massive void, and this theory is based on the angles in the manga and comments made by other characters that paint Earth as the only thing in real danger from the power of the attack.

To be fair to Saitama, where we would lowball Goku, we'll highball Saitama, and say the Serious Punch^2 outright destroyed every star in the area. That level of power would, naturally, have shockwaves that push nearby stars out of the way AND distort photons in the area, resulting in a massive cone of destruction surrounded by a large cylinder of force.

This puts Saitama at, quite easily, multi-galactic level of strength.

But why did I say this gap isn't as big as I expected? One simple thing. Saitama has canonically punched his way into a different dimension in the manga. That means he's capable of brute-forcing his way out of the bounds of his universe. He is capable of physically destroying the fabric of the universe.

Meaning Saitama's strength is, bare minimum, Universal in close proximity. That puts him, strength-wise, on par with Goku, who through training has become stronger than Super Buu (who was so strong he could shout his way out of the Hyperbolic Time Chamber, a dimension separate from our own), meaning Goku is also Universal in close proximity.

So...while I expected Saitama to be ~Planetary, MAYBE he'd be Solar at most...Research indicates he's actually Universal, or near-Universal, meaning the fight may not be too far a gap after all.

Goku may have Saitama beat on speed (given recent manga events in OPM, I'm willing to allow that Saitama is faster than light speed, but Goku having as many forms as he does (Kaioken, which he can combine with other forms and can hit a multiplier of x100 on top of whatever power he currently has, SSJ1-3, SSJG, SSJB, MUI) means even if Saitama matches Base Goku, he's likely not going to stand up to his stronger forms).

But on strength, I'd wager they're close enough for this fight to be one hell of a battle.

What about Durability? After all, all the strength in the world won't save you if you're as easy to kill as a simple bullet to the head, right?

Goku has withstood universe-ripping punches (from Beerus, the God of Destruction, and based on comments in the manga he's one of the stronger Gods of Destruction too), dimension-tearing attacks (from Goku Black, pre-Fusion), energy blasts that even the Gods of Destruction were nervous of (from Jiren during the Tournament of Power), and he survived multiple blasts from Granolah post-wish buff, who was renowned for his sniping power pre-wish, and post-wish was as powerful as he would be if he had spent every single second of the next 147 years training non-stop with the absolute healthiest amount of rest and physical care, making him, presently, as powerful as he would be at the END of that time, with the price paid being that he only had 3 years to live as he lost 1 year of his lifespan for each power boost.

It was also clear that Granolah was the strongest in the universe...at the time of his wish. Goku and Vegeta, who were already on their way, were not as powerful as Granolah even with their transformations. They became stronger during their fight with him, and stronger still during their fight with Gas (who was more powerful than Granolah after Gas transformed and mastered his transformation).

So we can safely assume Goku is Multiversal in Durability, as he himself was able to output Universal damage with each punch, and he was able to survive hits from beings drastically stronger than himself.

What about Saitama? Well, Saitama was able to survive the force of the Serious Punch^2 and he was able to casually bust his way into another dimension. So his Serious Punch, if he wanted it to, could easily destroy the barrier between universes or dimensions.

And given he survived the force of two of them impacting each other, I would put Saitama at, bare minimum, Universe-level durability. But given he was able to survive prolonged battle against Garou, who is a Power Mimic and has shown Saitama-level strength, we can safely assume Saitama is BEYOND Universal-level durability, and so we can put him right there with Goku at Multiversal durability.

So what do we have so far?

Goku has speed equal to, in Base Form, 3.9x lightspeed, and 1.17 trillion times lightspeed in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal level strength in Base Form, 300 billion times that in his most powerful form.

Goku has Universal durability in Base Form, Multiversal durability in his most powerful form (300 billion times his Base Form's durability).

Saitama has speed equal to, at minimum, 0.5x lightspeed, and at maximum, if we highball it, 2x lightspeed.

Saitama has Universal strength.

Saitama has Universal durability at minimum, and Multiversal durability at maximum.

At this point, I'm convinced the speed difference between Base Goku and Saitama means nothing. Saitama's durability means even with Base Goku moving at his top speed, his impacts won't be enough to beat Saitama. At top speed Base Goku may be putting out Universal damage, but he's not putting out enough to actually BEAT Saitama. Only injure.

Making me rethink my "Goku wins in Base lol" claim earlier, how dare you!

Anyway, at this point, Goku would HAVE to transform to beat Saitama. His ability to sense power and Saitama's evident inability to suppress it (as evidenced by multiple characters sensing his ungodly power even while Saitama is completely relaxed) would mean Goku would know, right away, he needs to transform for the fight.

Saitama's durability means Goku would likely need Super Saiyan 2 or 3, or, more likely, SSJG. Super Saiyan God's multiplier to Granolah-arc Goku, after all of his training with Whis and Vegeta, would most likely be enough to beat Saitama. And given SSJG is enough to "most likely" beat him, then Super Saiyan Blue (aka Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, the form above SSJG) is surely enough, and Mastered Ultra Instinct (a form drastically more powerful than SSJB) is absolutely more than enough to beat Saitama.

And given Goku's mastery over the Kaioken technique, and he's been shown to enter Kaioken x 20 while in Super Saiyan Blue for fair amounts of time as of the Moro saga, meaning even if SSB wasn't enough, given MUI is overkill, it's possible SSB x10 or x20 would be.

The point being, Goku wins this fight due to a combination of technique, experience, and power from his transformations. Given Goku is faster than Saitama and would sense his power as Saitama doesn't know how to suppress it, nothing Saitama could do would be a surprise attack to Goku, meaning Goku would have ample opportunity to react to everything Saitama does.

And given the relatively similar strengths the two bear, Goku would recognize he needs to transform to beat Saitama's output.

And given Saitama's greater durability than Base Goku, and greater durability than even what Saitama himself can put out, Goku would see he needs to transform to have enough of his own output to beat Saitama's durability.

Conclusion: Goku would absolutely win this fight, BUT...I'll give Saitama credit where it's due.

Out of everyone on the entire list, Saitama is the fairest matchup here, and the one most likely to give Goku a truly satisfying fight, given it would be a battle on par with those Goku has enjoyed most.

Kingdom Hearts Mickey

K.H. Mickey has a clear power limit and ability set. He is not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, or durable enough to beat Goku, but he is just enough of a threat for Goku to actually put his guard up, which is why K.H. Mickey would lose; Goku would see it as a fight, unlike with Kevin.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash isn't nearly powerful enough to be a threat to Goku, but he IS insane enough to push Goku to hostility. Goku would feel the need to put effort into getting him away and that is his downfall.

Hatsune Miku

Goku would assume she is a Red Ribbon android and fight her on assumption she's trying to kill him or bring harm to Earth. He would hit her full force expecting her to tank it and she would keel over dead instantly.

Wario

Everything he could possibly do, the Red Ribbon Army has tried and done better, and they've never beaten Goku. Neither would he.

Sans

Lost to a child with slightly above average human determination, and standard human strength and speed. He does not beat Goku.

And just because you specifically told me not to @ you, have this :)

@that-one-enby-onyx

[abigail-pent]

some things I'm noticing (again) in my ??th gtn reread:

- Cytherea has a whole little monologue about how if you're going to create or pull thanergy it has to be by taking thalergy and vice versa. You can only join death to life or life to death, kind of like batteries

- Basically I'm more convinced than ever that the entrance to the Tower is under the Canaan House facility -- Teacher says it's the most dangerous place in the whole Nine Houses, and we know by now that Alecto was not there, so I am pretty sure it's the Tower

- ten billion unfed ghosts in the Tower, under Canaan House, which were there since the Resurrection; sounds like the tongue guys tbh.

- there's a whole bit about how Silas sends Colum's soul *away* and exploits the space it leaves behind, which is meant to be the opposite of what the Second House does. the Second House takes enemy thanergy to create more thalergy for the cavalier. so I think that means the Eighth takes in thalergy - like from the whole room, I think this is why the color starts draining from everyone whenever Silas does it to Colum - to create more thanergy for ... maybe both the necromancer and the cavalier?

- Anyway I just kind of think John's bomb + eating Earth basically ripped open a wormhole to tongue guy space (the stoma) and he pushed the ten billion through. giving up a shit ton of thalergy to create the first source of thanergy. like Silas does to Colum but bigger. and this created the tongue guys and the tower was built to contain them.

- this is maybe also why John has said siphoning is the most dangerous thing any House had ever thought up - he does like to say this kind of thing from personal experience

- there are sure a lot of towers referenced in Canaan House and then we don't really get towers again until Nona, with the Tower Princes and, obvi, the Tower.

- I am very fine and normal about Silas and Colum and have never cried about them, what are you even talking about

- the Tower is a tarot card that "is associated with sudden, disruptive revelation, and potentially destructive change." Sounds like John's flashbacks in Nona to me tbh

- the Eighth breeding program is still interesting and a mystery to me, mainly because I'm not very clear on what blood type matches have to do with necromancy. But it does feel like the most medical aspect of the modern Eighth and therefore probably the part that Mercy had the most influence over.

- but actually I think "the Eighth breeds batteries" makes more sense to me than ever if the point of sending Colum's soul away is to take his thalergy to bring Silas more thanergy. Which is siphoning, exactly - it's the avulsion trial. And I suppose that would be easier to do if the necromancer and cavalier were a closer genetic match. But then I guess I don't understand why everyone else in the room loses color when that happens. Is that because of where Silas is sending Colum in those moments?

- also then it makes me wonder if Cam and Pal really could have done the avulsion trial without giving Cam brain damage. They are a super close genetic match. Harrow and Gideon are *not*, of course, but I think they pulled through because Gideon has extra thalergy from her dad's side.

- you know who would be a PERFECT genetic match? the Tridentarii! really wondering if this will come up in Alecto... Corona actually would be perfect for Ianthe to siphon because there is no genetic difference between them.

- is it going to be important at some point that the Chaturs have been cavaliers since the time of the Resurrection? is Jeannemary a descendant of Titania?

- when Teacher laments the "poor child" he could be talking about... almost anyone. Dulcinea, Cytherea, Isaac, Jeannemary. Anastasia. Like really anyone

- in retrospect it's extremely weird that Aiglamene tells Gideon she's up to the standards of "a bad cavalier, one who's terrible" and then when Gideon gets to Canaan House and starts dueling people, she's like one of the best? Crazy fast, hero-worshipped by Jeannemary, and even Babs said it was "incredible" to fight her. Like that's strange that Aiglamene's expectations were apparently much higher than any House cavalier primary.

- there's something so fascinating about the scene where Babs stops Corona from fighting Gideon. like it becomes really clear to me that he is in on Ianthe's ruse, and that Corona has been fighting to get out of it for a long time - maybe her whole life - and can't. They're both terrified of Ianthe and Babs is constantly trying to protect Corona *from Ianthe*. But Corona is so tied up in the toxicity of the relationship, and the love of it, that she can't accept Babs' help even when consists only of taking her side in an argument between the twins, as in the first scene when they're overheard on the stairs. She can't even accept Babs' help when it consists of dying instead of her. Ugh the whole thing is so domestic-abuse coded...

- "she had bitten him, apparently to soothe her own obscure feelings" I say this to/about my cats often

idk probably more later

[bratzforchris]

I love dad!Chris, but what about dad!Matt?

Dad Energy ⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Dad!Matt headcanons because he would genuinely be the best father in the world and I have baby fever 😋 No warnings! Enjoy<3

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

𐙚 matt sturniolo is 1000000% a girl dad. argue with a wall.

𐙚 he genuinely gets so excited when you tell him you're pregnant. he's always wanted to be a father, and now he gets to do it with the love of his life<3

𐙚 since multiples are genetic, you'd probably end up with little twin girls

𐙚 shopping for and decorating the nursery is probably the most fun you two have ever had together and matt definitely goes overboard with the toys and decorations

"matt, we have a lamb stuffed animal for both of them, babe"

"but this one has a bow"

𐙚 doing belly photoshoots every week and he always makes sure there's a photo of him kissing your belly because he wants your girls to know that he loves them in every way, shape, and form

𐙚 matt's the most supportive husband during labor; feeding you ice chips, wiping your face with a cool cloth, and holding your hand the whole time. even the nurses and doctors comment on how in love with you he looks and acts

𐙚 he definitely cries the first time he holds your daughters and he isn't ashamed of it

𐙚 "you're going to grow up to be just like me and your uncles"

"oh god, i don't think the world can handle that"

𐙚 when he does the dad walk out of the hospital carrying the carseats and wearing the other parents bracelet...

𐙚 having twins is not easy, but matt is so supportive of you and his babies. whenever they wake up in the middle of the night needing a feed or a change, he gently presses a kiss to your head and tucks in you, saying that he's got it

"you just rest, hun. they'll be okay with daddy for a while"

𐙚 matt always makes funny faces at the girls to make them laugh

𐙚 once they start getting into the toddler stage and are able to play with toys and stuffed animals, he gives them his stuffed animals from when he was a kid<3

𐙚 the twins look just like him with the same fluffy brown hair and bright blue eyes

𐙚 speaking of toddlers, the terrible two's aren't as bad when you and matt handle it together

"how did they get spaghetti sauce behind the refrigerator..."

"they take after chris"

𐙚 both of your daughters are so attached to matt. they love giving him makeovers, making him play barbies and tea party, and every art project they do in preschool says "to daddy!!!" in their baby scrawl

𐙚 matt never, ever raises his voice at them. he knows how bad it can feel to think someone's mad at you, even as a little kid, so he always uses gentle voices and soft coaxing when parenting

𐙚 they LOVE to color in his tattoos and "make them pretty"

𐙚 even though the girls are twins, you and matt both make sure to spend quality time with each of them

𐙚 matt is there for everything. he doesn't miss a single ballet recital, soccer game, or school fair

𐙚 he's not ashamed to do "girly" things either. he'll sit through manicures, hair styling, and come to every daddy/daughter dance

𐙚 "you're the best dad ever, you know that, right?"

"what can i say? marylou raised me well"

𐙚 you definitely have to hold him back the first time one of your daughters get their heartbroken

𐙚 matt never makes his daughters feel bad or weird when they start going through puberty. he loves them just the same and reminds them that it's totally normal. sometimes, he'll even bring them some extra chocolate

𐙚 both girls get matching tattoos with him on their 18th birthday

𐙚 matt would genuinely be the sweetest, most supportive father and husband. he always puts your and your daughter's needs before his own, because he knows he signed up for that, and he's glad to fill those shoes<3

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @mattsfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @stingerayyy2 @strnlvr @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @mayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @idek3000hi @runasvengence

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

[vm-haunts]

Brother in Death

I'm just obsessed with Danny and Jason being mistaken as brothers, or even twins.

The skunk strip and the potential y-section scar are fandom favorites for the two of them. Both got the green glowing scary eyes and not quite alive status. Similar eye and hair color, both scrawny at 14. And yes Jason is build like a fridge now but look at Danny's dad, it's not impossible for Danny to get that belated growth spurt to match Jason.

Like they just have so much potential to look like twins, even down to the death and resurrection related part.

Funnier still if you consider the version of Jason that actually had a brother called Danny, who is a few years older and died before Jason met Bruce (I think? Some kind of gang business? I don't think they're close)

So Jason goes to introduce his new found brother Danny at some point, and Bruce is squinting because they can't be the same Danny right?? That one should be very dead by now, as far as Bruce knows. But then again he had thought the same of Jason too so what did he know? Wait is the resurrection actually genetic???? Are Jason and his brother secretly metas and their abilities are triggered by death-

[ohtobeleah]

I've had a thought in my mind for a few days. A thought where, in Days of Future Past…When Logan goes to the school looking for Chalres and is met by a younger version of Beast. (Hank)

What if it wasn't Beast that met him at the door, but you? A younger version of yourself. You…who Logan lost in the war against the Sentinels.

You…another mutant who's genetic make up doesn't allowed for aging. Your regeneration matches Logans. Only you aren't made of Adamantium like he is. You heal others. You study every branch of science there is to devour and yet the knowledge you process still isn't enough.

“Y/n?” Its funny how Charles never mentioned it would be you who looked after him during his darkest days. And its crazy how you look exactly the same as you did so many years into the future. “You’re—you’re alright.”

“How do you know my name?” You frown with confusion. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I'm here to see the professor,” Logan tries to stay focused. But the last time he saw you? You had died in his arms. “What happened to the school?”

“Are you a parent? Because the schools been closed for a long time, sir.”

Logans standing face to face with the woman he loves, the woman he lost. Only you don't know who he is. And you're making it incredible hard for him to stay on task.

“Id wanna hope not,” Logan jokes with himself for a second, but the reality was he'd not only lost you—but your daughter too. He never did get to meet her before they took you from him. “I need to see the professor.” Logan pushes his way through, knowing that if he didn't stay committed to his task, that he might take the chance to stay in the past with you forever.

“Theres no professor here!” You shout after the man who's just barreled his way into the rundown school for gifted students. “Listen asshat, ill give you to the count of three to leave or else I'll—” But you don't get to finish your sentence.

“Look lady,” Logan growls, interupting your threat as he turned to fade you. He missed you so fucking much. “You and I are gonna get along really well one day,” He knows you'll be fine. Logan knows a quick cross to the nose will knock you down for a second or two. So with one fluid motion, he does just that. And for what it's worth, Logan tries to keep a pretty stick policy on hitting women. But once you bring mutant DNA into the picture, added with the fact he knows you handle yourself well enough to have him working up a sweat? Whats a guy supposed to do. “You just don't know it yet.”

“Fuck!” You shout as you stumble back incoherently dazed and confused.

“Professor!?” Logan turns nonchalantly, knowing you'll recover quickly. He races up the stairs, taking two, sometimes three at a time.

Only for you to race after him, completely set on beating the absolute crap outta this guy who's let himself into your home.

“Fuckface,” You shout after Logan as you leg it after him down the hall. “Hey! if you don't leave right this second I'm gonna have to ask him to ask you to leave.”

“Ask who?” Logan asks, looking around until he's met with a powerful force of blue rage. Sending him back down the stairs.

“Him.” You smiled, happily watching Hank interact with his new chew toy until Charles ultimately interrupted the fun.

[suzukiblu]

do you have any kryptonians hcs that you think would be fun to see incorporated in more fics out there? like cultural stuff & biology

Ones I've seen before and really like:

Kryptonians purr

Kryptonians are built physically harder/denser/heavier than humans and don't have much "give" in their bodies

Kryptonians can tell that humans aren't the same thing as them, but humans can't QUITE tell that Kryptonians aren't the same thing as them; there is just the tiiiiiniest bit of uncanny valley there when they aren't deliberately trying to pass for humans, though

Kryptonians immediately just "recognize" other Kryptonians as being Kryptonian ( though maybe this one is at least IMPLIED in canon, though I've never been totally clear on that one--but like, a stronger version of it, if that makes sense?? )

Ones I've been slooowly forming myself for personal use:

Kryptonians have different voices and different hearing, in the sense that a Kryptonian has more tones/nuance in their voice and can HEAR more tones/nuance in a voice, and a lot of other species' voices sound flat or toneless to them because they lack those additional tones

"chiming" as a way for children to get their parent/caretaker's attention; basically a specific musical little sound that they make

Kryptonians typically only being physically expressive or emotive with close family members/friends, and vocal communication frequently being more emotive/descriptive for them than physical is

Kryptonians come in just sliiiightly brighter colors than humans do--eyes, hair, skin, etc

it takes a long time and extended time together to "learn" someone's heartbeat

food is generally served on specific complementing dishware, in terms of color/shape/specific meal

most clothes involve multiple layers, mainly a fitted undersuit that covers as much skin as possible, and then an overrobe or two that hide(s) the shape of their bodies as much as possible; specific cuts of drapery are a big thing in their fashion

wearing house crests is a Big Deal all the time and involves certain rites of passage/ages/etc

diet being fairly simple and minimalistic; they have rice but not really bread, eat more fish than red meat, and cuisine tends to concentrate on very subtle and natural flavors; there's not typically a lot of different things on their plate and they don’t generally use chemical preservatives in daily life

to a Kryptonian it'd be a LOT more normal that Kon and Match got made in test tubes than it'd be that Jon and Chris got made via natural births, and there would absolutely be a "is cloning worse or is just leaving your kid's DNA up to chance worse??" kind of argument going on there, culturally speaking

( also I could go on for a fucking MINUTE how Jon being a successful and healthy hybrid who is also apparently fertile enough to have at least one descendent alive and well in the thirty-first century is an insane and weird thing that makes very little sense that I DESPERATELY wish came up in more of the fics/canon that I see involving or mentioning him; seriously, Kryptonian DNA is so complicated that Bizarro syndrome is a regular thing in clones produced from it even by people who SPECIALIZE in cloning, but the kid who just got whatever random genes won the random race is the one who came out perfectly stable and healthy and has ZERO health issues/concerns? like, EVER?? hOW, canon. HOW. )

I will actually live and die on the hill of "Lex is more genetically compatible with Kryptonian DNA than Lois is" because fuck a) biological determinism and b) loving couples DO frequently have to deal with genetic incompatibility and that's just much more interesting to me narratively, and also I love the weird little not-quite-tragedy of that concept, both in how Lex refuses to be an ally to someone he actually is so naturally “compatible” with and in how Lois would have genetic compatibility issues with someone she loved so much and was loved BY so much

ONE DAY I will write the fic where Jon is actually NOT a healthy hybrid and has a ton of health issues from birth and can't even use any Kryptonian powers without having a freaking asthma attack or HEART attack, resigns himself to it just being an unavoidable Kryptonian-human hybrid thing and that he'll never live up to his dad or grow up to be "Superman"--and then one day an oblivious newborn bb clone Kon shows up out of the blue in perfect health with EXTRA superpowers and very publicly declaring that HE'S gonna be Superman someday, and everyone in the Kent family has to just deal with that and how they all feel about it. ONE DAY.