#care** not cara lmao

[ooops-i-arted]

Inktober 9

I could be a better boyfriend than him I could do the things he never did Up all night, I won't quit - Everytime I hear this song I picture Cara stealing Din from all his popular shipping partners lololol

[bunnihearted]

.

[volturissideslut]

𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 (𝕻𝖔𝖑𝖞)

Think i kept you waiting long enough for this part two lmao sorry

Part 1

"Cara mia" Aro's voice is gentle as he steps toward you, hand outstretched in front of him as if he was approaching an animal. Scared and upset or feral with anger, he would determine later because right now there seems to be no distinction. "I had not meant it like that"

"Do not lie to me Aro" his name is spat like a repulsive venom from your mouth, singing itself into his very skin. "I have tree mates! And none of them cared for me, three times the heartbreak. But what could i expect? It's not bloodsucking that makes you monsters, its this" Screaming, turned sobbing, turned shouting again and still none of them dare tough you.

It terrified them truly, you scared them in a way they never had been before in this eternal life of theirs. Every direction was eggshells ready to be shattered under their shoes, in this hazy labyrinth they had set up themselves. It all appeared to be crumbling down upon them, the stones shattering the marble of their skin.

Finally being the one brave enough, Caius steps forward and grips your arm gently but relentlessly. Your flinch nor your glare had him unhand you, and that way in silence you stayed for a beat - maybe two. It was a sad realisation really, feeling grounded by the man who himself was the one to cause you such distraught pain.

But that was all it took before you fell into him, sobbing into his cloak. How pathetic you felt leaning on the shoulder of one of the men who hurt you the most. He didn't speak, not a single word. Apparently his brain had overrun his mouth for once and he know nothing of comfort could be said.

Marcus watched on from the side with Aro, mouth itching to open and yet so dry nothing could escape. Marcus didn't act, no, but he observed. He observed with sullen and sunken eyes the way you gripped onto his brothers cloak for dear life as if his affection was a charade to disappear at any moment. The way your eyes were bloodshot and you seemed more frail, skin with a sickly appeal. But most of all he noticed the matt of your hair, the dirt etched into the fibres of your clothes, and the clothes you were wearing themselves.

He steps forward.

Another grounding hand finds itself on your back, rubbing soothing and deep circles into your spine. You needn't look back to know who it was, remembering his affection from earlier in your relationship. Before it had all gone to hell and back.

Yet these were o longer soothing, they no longer held the same admiration and hope he had been filled with when you first agreed to stay with him - with all of them - in Volterra. A flinch away from you had Marcus himself flinching back, had feeling as though it was burning at the possibility of hurting you more than he already had.

With no more tears left to cry apparently, you dare not remove your head from it's resting place on Caius' shoulder as you speak. Voice shaky and sore, "why was I never good enough?" was all you could ask.

Caius gave no reply, he only held you tighter with his hand cradling the back of your head.

"Cara mia," Aro's voice is but a whisper as he comes a little closer "you were always good enough, it is us that failed you. You shouldn't question your worth." A chaste kiss is placed upon your head by Aro, and despite everything you could not help but allow it, not sparing a single thought to Marcus and his watchful eyes.

"Then how could you not know?" and your eyes were brimmed with tears once again, threatening to spill themselves over if even your next breath was a little too deep.

"Again our mistake" Caius answers as he presses his weighty hand atop your head, still on his shoulder. "I will not make excuses, nor will I try to justify. I hurt you and should rather die than do so again. I was blinded by want and comforted by the thought you would always be here for me. I was selfish and I will not be again. I do not expect another chance, but you can tear me apart yourself and light the flames if you so wish."

"I'm not going to kill you Caius, don't be absurd" your head flies back from it's rest in order to look at him.

"You won't but you should and i'd help"

You scoff then lay your head again, and he smiles knowing that he made a little bit of progress at least.

"I just- I don't understand"

For the first time really, Marcus speaks up. "Please Tesoro, we will tell you anything you want to know. I will answer any questions, take any punishment you deem worthy. Please."

Only, you don't even look at him. Not in his eyes or at his face, your gaze stays focused on the ground beneath his feet.

"Y'know, Marcus, I think you hurt me the most."

What a feat it must be to hold the whole weight of his being in your hands and unravel him with one simple sentence. It was deserved really, with all that had been done, and it wasn't untrue either.

"Tesoro I- I apologise, I-"

But before he could even get in a word edgewise all the words seemed to start pouring themselves out of your mouth with no ending in sight. "All three of you, you just abandoned me, made me change every piece of myself to it in with you. And all three of you abandoned me and discarded me yes. But you, Marcus, You did so much more. I doubted myself with you-" soothing circles are found rubbing themselves into the small of your back as you hiccup through the tears. "every day it was something new. It was a 'Didyme wouldn't do that' and that i should be more like her. Did you ever even love me, or will it always be her?"

And just like that you may as well have taken a chisel and carved his unbeating heart out of his chest, to have held it in your hands and shattered it against the brick flooring as if it were cheap ceramic.

Have you ever seen a grown man crumble at your feet? Well you have now. From your position of being laid against Caius you watch as Marcus grasps at your legs out of breath as if he were a pauper begging for scraps of anything you might offer.

"Tesoro I'm sorry. It got out of hand and I ignored you. I should have never in my existence made you feel lesser because you are the best thing that could have ever happened to us, to them, but especially me. My existence is nothing if you do not grace me and so I beg that you believe me, I pray that you stay, and I hope you can please give us the opportunity to move past this - for me to prove my worth to you"

You let out a deep breath, needing the momentary relief that it would bring. "It's going to take a long time. You're going to need to earn my trust again" you turn your head making sure you are heard loud and clear by all of them, giving Aro the eye contact he had been waiting for and wishing for. He nods in agreement. "Also, i want to be able to have my own chambers, I won't be sharing for a while. It's a lot and I want to have my own space."

"I understand" Caius mutters from behind you, voice low in hoped you won't cause immediate distance and remove yourself from him. Pitiable really, like a child staying still at night in hopes that their mother doesn't notice its past bedtime and send them away.

"Also, I want it to be known that if it doesn't change and I keep feeling unhappy in this relationship or like i have to change who I am then I will be leaving and you won't be stopping me. Not with force or even death."

"Of course Tesoro" Marcus dips his head to kiss the back of your hand, hopeful to change this plight and do right by you once again.

Aro moves toward you again, not happy at the potential to have you gone all over again but this whole situation had shaken the fear into his very heart of losing you, and so he knows to now cherish every moment with his mate and to treat you accordingly. What a fool he had been. He hopes you smack him, really, it might help him regain that sense he so obviously lost.

[joesalw]

You really can't write this shit lmao...

TS's friend group consists of Miss 'idc about genocide and continue to employ a bloodthirsty zionist CEO for my makeup brand' and Cara D who's great grandfather created the Black and Tans which is a terrorist organisation that killed Irish people during the Irish War of Independence. A group that also sent their people to kill Palestinians in favor of establishing the state of Israel. Last night these 3 went to Ramy Youssef's (who Taylor probably met at the "Poor Things" premiere) comedy show in NYC and 100% of the proceeds would go to the Gaza relief fund. The thing is, Selena and Taylor are getting all the credit and praise for Ramy's activism. I've been a fan of her work for the past 10 years and her recent activities have turned me off of her completely. The turning point was that pathetic TIME interview.

I've always thought of her as this well-read individual who can masterfully express herself whether it would be public speaking or writing but I couldn't help but cringe while reading that article. She tries too hard to appeal to gen z and younger millennial crowd when she herself is practically pushing 40 atp. I feel like all of her 'intelligence' came from being around Joe Alwyn who's a notorious bookworm. The fact that she describes her Rep era as 'goth-punk' was the first strike, the 2016 hate train as a ' career death' was the 2nd and the whole patriarchy delusion she went into just hit the final nail in the coffin and I was like 'nope, not doing this shit anymore'.

I know that swifties have been comparing her to Beyonce lately saying things like 'well, Taylor writes her songs' or 'Beyonce can't read' and talking about how she doesn't give interviews so people don't know that she's dumb. And as a comparison I've found her Harper's Bazaar interview that she gave when she turned 40. And good God, I've slept on this woman for way too long. In the interview she talks about building her work ethic from an early age. The dedication of her life's decades (First decade was dedicated to dreaming, the teens were about the grind, the 20s were about building a strong foundation for her career and establishing her legacy, the 30s were about starting her family and prioritizing her own life over her career). She started her own management company at 27, in 2013 she started her charity foundation in which she helps hurricane relief, education, supporting minorities businesses, families with housing needs, water crises, pediatric health care and pandemic relief. She talks about expanding her business ventures beyond music industry, talks about setting boundaries in the world of celebrity culture, about her friends being a group of strong independent women, about the importance of mental health. She also says that she's most inspired by her parents ("My mother has always been my Queen and still is. She has always been so strong and is filled with humanity", "No matter how tired she was, she was always professional, loving, and nurturing."; "My father constantly encouraged me to write my own songs and create my own vision. He is the reason I wrote and produced at such a young age."). That woman is so well-spoken and genuine you can't help but feel warm while reading it and she doesn't feel the need of throwing unnecessary 'smart people' words to seem that way.

Reading Taylor's "Person of the Year" profile and Beyonce's 'Entering 40s' interview were completely different experiences. And as a result, one of them lost a fan and the other gained one. I wish Tree Paine would stop Taylor from giving these interviews because everytime she does, she comes across as tone-deaf, out of touch, mentally stuck overgrown teenager, try-hard bratty diva who can't stand being not the only one praised.

Anyway, I'd recommend to read the full interview and watching her new film. I've watched it yesterday and got the urge of turning my life around. That lady is truly such a light.

Taylor's friend list also includes 'Mr. and Mrs. plantation with slave cabins on the property wedding', 'a sex offender and a SA apologist as the newest addition', 'Ms. "I assaulted my own sister", ' an insecure and whiny music producer who likes to stir drama on Taylor's behalf'. And not to mention that she's dated a nazi this year and her newest flavour of the month is a fatphobic jock with a double digit iq, her father is also an avid republican voter. I think the people she surrounds herself with tell about her more than she does herself.

And concluding with two cents about Joe Alwyn. I'm glad she's out of his life. While I was a swiftie I've watched his interviews and he always came across as a very gentle, calm, well-spoken and a bit introverted man. And she's... well, her. I also think that she'd held him back in her job in regards of producers and directors not wanting their work to be overshadowed by 'Taylor's BF is in this' articles. I'm hoping he does more projects in the future or maybe dips his toes in writing and directing something because clearly he's a talented writer.

Sorry for the long rant, had to get it out of my system <3

I love reading your rants, keep it coming. they are so on point.

[da-rulah]

i’m so happy you’re requests are backkk!! and that you’re back safe from your trip!

could i have some copia hc about him having an s/o or crush who LOVES writing, like they have whole shelves of notebooks and everything. would he try to read their stuff? stuff like that!

thank you i hope you’re doing well!

Thank you, lovely! They are for the time being - I'm going to be writing another fic soon so that'll take priority over any new requests but I'm still happy to take them ofc!

And I am doing well, thank you! My trip was good, but exhausting... 5 days of conferences and 10 working days in a row is not my idea of fun, but I've got a couple of extra days off now to compensate. So of course, I'm writing...

Anyway - onwards with the HC! This will be extremely self-indulgent seeing as you literally are describing me lmao

When you'd first met the cardinal, it had been in the library. You'd stumbled upon his little back office where he restored old books and ancient texts day to day.

You'd only been looking for some reference material, still new to the ministry and unfamiliar with the library's layout. But he was happy for the company, effectively guiding you to the section of the library you needed while conversing about what you were writing.

He offered you the spare desk in his little office, to use when you needed a quiet space free of the expectation to be social in another's company while you could focus on your writing.

You would use it often, and you got to know Copia quite well over time.

The longer you shared an office, the bigger your collection of notebooks with ideas, mind-maps, character profiles and plot plans gathered on the shelves behind your desk. Rows upon rows of notebooks...

He would nag you to let him read something of yours some time, but you'd wave him off with an "it's not ready yet..." But he'd never stop asking. One day you'd let him...

"Please, just a chapter? Will you let me, just once cara mio?"

And you did. Eventually, you let him read the book you had typed on your typewriter over the span of the last six months. He laughed. He cried. He fell in love. With the book, but also... with you.

The way you wrote, it was like the words sang to him. Your mind was truly as beautiful as your physical self. How could he not fall for you?

But he kept this to himself, for fear of frightening you out of this tiny little office and risk not seeing you every day.

Eventually, your birthday came around, and Copia had prepared something so special for you...

Whilst you had slept, he had snuck back into the office and worked all night.

Using his talent for book restoration, he had bound the hundreds of loose pages of your novel into a stunning original hardback book, crafted himself.

The cover was so ornate, so beautifully designed with references to the story itself in the red embossed artwork.

When you had opened it, he was terrified. What if you hadn't wanted it to be bound? What if you weren't totally done with it?

But, oh, how you wept.

It was the most beautiful, most thoughtful gift anyone had every given to you. He had handled your work with the care and affection that you had poured into it whilst writing it.

The same care and affection, it would seem, he had for you.

That night, after celebrating your birthday with him at a dinner he had prepared himself, you had confessed to him that the love interest of your novel had taken on the traits you had seen in him.

"What... what do you mean?" He had been so confused at first.

"I guess... what I'm trying to say, is that... He became you. And I think I fell for him..."

He had kissed you when you confessed, relieved to have his feelings reciprocated.

Years on, even in his now papacy, the two of you shared that office when he had some free time.

And somehow, he still always managed to find the time to bind the first drafts of your manuscripts together for you, to then ship to your publisher as a fully fledged published author now.

With the same care and affection as that first binding, you now had a collection of manuscripts you kept for your own personal memento collection.

Just as he would bind your books so beautifully together, you were now bound to each other. Forever.

[agentnatesewell]

Let n and a have babies 2k24 (let n and a have babies together 2k24?? 👀 let’s be honest that parenting would be wild)

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Speaking personally about my detectives …

Suri definitely wants a large family with Nate. Wasn’t even something she’d considered before him, but seeing him around Verda’s kids, seeing him in general has her very, very open to the idea. And a dog, a little terrier

Layla hasn’t, hadn’t, and won’t really consider it with Adam just yet. Really, their feelings for each other haven’t been confessed outside of a kiss and him saying nothing can happen between them. It’ll take some time, but I believe it’s in the cards for them

And really, there is something about “The Rise and Bloody Fall of the Du Mortain Line” that really, really makes me want this for A

And the way that N so easily lifts Cara and calls her “rabbit” and how they care so much for F and help them understand this world

As for A and N parenting together? Best of both worlds lmao! It’ll be a trip!

Plus M

[caras-spinoff-ask-blog]

List of characters you can ask :3

I have two pictures of kesu because why the heck not :/

From the first character to the last: Arachi, Cara, Beatrix, Sylener, and Kesu.

Ask whatever you want, I guess I'll give a background and some minor information of them

Arachi- Age: 23 Preferred Weapon: Windcleaver Background information: Arachi is a strong blademaster who was born into the clan (don't ask how ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(-o-)⁠_⁠/⁠¯), he has grown a strong attachment to Cara and sees her as one of his best friends, and possibly a love interest...

Cara- Age: 20 Preferred Weapon: Demon Carver Background information: Cara simply felt rebellious and left Kakariko village to join the yiga clan. She always claims herself as the best footsoldier out of every other footsoldiers, even if it isn't true. She sees Arachi as the strongest blademaster, and she isn't afraid to voice her opinions about it.

Beatrix- Age: 26 Preferred Weapon: N/A Background information: Beatrix was caught accidentally trespassing on the yiga's territory one day and was brought to Sylener. Sylener decided to allow her to stay because he pitied her a bit. They started talking a bit after that before they're relationship slowly grew, and at ages 23 and 26, they both married each other and she became first mistress of the yiga. They have no known children.

Sylener- Age: 29 Preferred Weapon: Kusarigama (Chain-Sickle) Background information: Sylener never had a grudge against anyone, he respectfully parted from the other Shiekah to make his own separate tribe. He didn't have a grudge against anyone infact— unless they were trespassing or being suprise attacked for his land. He had a strange sort of pity for the accidental trespasser, Beatrix. And before long, they were betrothed before finally becoming husband and wife. He also secretly likes Beatrix to braid his hair, so he messes it up on purpose sometimes or takes dips in the lakes more often so she can braid it. Not that he'd admit it, of course.

Kesu- Age: 27 Preferred Weapon: Savage Lynel sword Background information: Kesu joined the clan because of being treated poorly in his past— more or so neglective parents. He left when he was almost 18 and was brought into the yiga clan because he had really no where else to go. He enjoyed every moment that he's ever worked for the yiga, and soon he grew into a promising blademaster. He is good at spying wether he's hiding or not and a good fighter as well. He tends to be rather closed off after Genku's (oganesson's oc hehe) death but will open up if he has a good bond with them

Yawn, this took forever -_-

Hopefully one of you guys will actually ask questions

All this art is old and trash and I literally don't care at all, just grabbed some random pictures of them from my photo gallery lmao

[mcytmusicalbingo]

A long awaited but necessary intro to the mods of the MCYT Musical Bingo!

Hello everyone! I'm really sorry this took so long, I've been extremely busy. But who is I? Well, I am Orion (tho you may call me Ori) and I am the creator and organizer of the MCYT Musical Bingo! I use any pronouns and I'm mainly in the Hermitcraft / Life Series fandom, though I occassionaly dabble in others as well, and today it's my pleasure to introduce you to the mod team!

Glitch

Name - Hey there! You can call me Glitch, he/it pronouns please!! Fandoms - Mainly Life Series, Empires, and Hermitcraft, but also Rats SMP, Witchcraft SMP, and recently Skyblock Kingdoms! Fun Fact: I love block women (I'm a big yuri guy haha) Socials: tumblr - @/rutellingmeashrimpfriedthisrice ; ao3 - GlitraHasConsumedMe Message: Very excited to be here!! I love MCYT and I love music, so this event won me over instantly<3

Ringnea

Sup, I'm Ringnea, artist, writer and Minecraft block peep lover. pronouns: any but she/her works. My accounts are all under Ringnea like everything. Ao3, tumblr, Instagram, the bird app, and cara. Fandoms: DSMP, QSMP, Hermitcraft, Life series, and some other multifandom stuff (it's rare but there) Can't wait to see what y'all create!!!

Mars

Hello!! My name is Mars of Marshall or whatever i font rlly care. I use They/Them or any Neopronouns! I use Mossybox for all of my accounts except tumblr, which is gummifrog, and insta, cprisvn. Some fandoms I'm in is Hermitcraft, empires and life series. Also I'm a minor so yeah, excited to see what yall do

Ether

Hi! I'm Ether, any pronouns for me! :D I generally stick to Qsmp and Dsmp, though I also like Asmp and Fuga Impossível! My socials are pretty much just EthertheAether, and that's Ao3 and Tumblr, cause I just don't have other socials really LMAO Looking forward to seeing what you guys make!! :>

Rice

Hallo! I'm Rice, he/him, and you can find me on tumblr and ao3 as riceofthepuffedvariety. I'm in the Hermitcraft and Life Series fandoms though I'm not opposed to reading fics outside of those. Can't wait to see what y'all create! :D

And that's all of the team! Everyone please say hello and thank you to these amazing people! Ether was the one who made the very cute bingo boards for all of us to play, and everyone helped listen to the songs and sort them into the respective boards as well.

Please enjoy the event! And remember the ask box is open if you have any questions!

[indycinders]

here's my Cara Mia for @campwillowpeak ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ more info and a close up of her reference below cut~

MORE INFO:

-She has a 10 yr old son named DJ!! He's an awesome little kid that's always filling leadership roles in school and he's got a nice lil group of friends.

-Most likely will be used for most of the yan games I like lmao

-The way that DJ came to be is very traumatic for her. The tattoo on that's shown on the app is on her right inner forearm. It's a SA survivor tattoo. You can probably infer the rest from that.

-Despite that, she's worked hard as hell to give her and DJ a good life.

-She came to CWP because the camp that DJ went to didn't have any open counselor positions and CWP was the closest.

-Unlike my other OCs, Hana grew up with amazing parents. They're very loving and caring. She's an only child so she was spoiled but raised with good morals and values. They love DJ and give her breaks often even though she doesn't ask.

-The lil profile picture where she's wearing a hat was a picture DJ took of her at the baseball game they went to for his last birthday :D

-The ring she wears on her pinky finger is the baby ring she got for DJ. (it's a family tradition to get rings for babies when they're born) It has his birth stone (topaz) and his birthday engraved on it!

-The bracelet is a friendship bracelet from DJ of course hehe.

-One of my HCs for CWP is (once the events are over) that she and Dante get together and he ends up helping coach DJ's little league team 👉👈🥺

uhh i think that was it /v\

[occidentaltourist]

1, 3, 8, 20, and 21 for cwsg 👀

the character everyone gets wrong

This one had me stumped. I'm finding it hard to separate my view of the characters from the inconsistencies in the writing itself, from season to season and sometimes even episode to episode ... though I think many TV series struggle with consistency the longer they go. I'm going to go with Kara herself.

In fandom a lot of people say it's like S1 was a different show altogether, and I think there's something to that. The change in networks, all the bts drama resulting in showrunner changes, and the creators' (laudable, in some ways) commitment to Season Arcs and Political Themes took precedence over character, and given what was going on in the US and the world at the time that could be seen as an understandable choice.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Hahaha this would take forever to narrow down. ;) Every week I see a hot take that makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out. But I'm sooo brave about it! Lmao.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Clark was RIGHT: the DEO always sucked! It was never meaningfully reformed and Alex and J'onn being the "good cops" running it didn't make it any better. It should have stayed burned down to the ground!!

part of canon you found tedious or boring

Kara wandering around the Phantom Zone with her dad. I had high hopes, but it played out like filler with no real insight or lasting impact. Then he spent a day reprising Mon-El's fish-out-of-water act before yeeting himself back into space ... wtf was the point of all that.

Runner-up: Lena hatching mind control plans in her lab, having basically the same conversation with Lex over and over again for half a season.

Third place: Kara in the crossovers. She was clearly the stepchild among the three leads, utilized only in the most surface of ways, and the creators cared so little about her show that the only other cast member included was Alex, and of course ... Lex.

part of canon you think is overhyped

Anyone remember Leviathan? Me neither! ;) Imagine bringing in Cara Buono and Mitch Pileggi and doing nothing with them??

Choose Violence Ask Game

[softpine]

Do you think your sims would have survived the lockdown part of covid? I know we all pretty much lost our minds. Do you think any of them would have been the type that "took advantage" of the time?

honestly i don't know when 2020 would've fit into the timeline so i'm basically fudging this whole thing lmao

oh beth & caroline would've been REALLY close to filing for divorce. with cara being a tattoo artist, she would've been completely out of work and beth would've been working from home (she's a children's therapist) but there are no extra rooms in the house to use as an office, so she would've had to either use the computer in the living room/dining room/kitchen which would be a major privacy issue, or set it up in their bedroom which is super small. they were already having relationship issues at that time, but being trapped in such close quarters..... they would be at each other's throats... and they wouldn't even be able to have crazy makeup sex (the only tried and true solution to their problems fjksjd) because asa is in the next room doing virtual school 😭 btw asa definitely started making bread from scratch and promised himself he would keep doing it after life went back to normal (he did not).

stevie would still be working. KD would have let her stay home, but stevie would be desperate to get out of the house (oh my god her parents would be insufferable) and not be lonely anymore. you know that tiktok that's like "you think you can hurt my feelings but it was my job to enforce the cracker barrel mask mandate as a 17 yo butch lesbian" literally that but "it was my job to enforce the mask mandate for rural american truck drivers as a 16 yo trans girl" 🫡

elaine and jada are lucky because their bedroom windows face each other, so they could technically see each other. elaine would've fallen down the skincare rabbit-hole and completely ruined her skin in a matter of months (me too girl...... happened to the best of us) and jada would've had time to make tons of art, but she would have extreme art block and spend most of her time just laying in bed being anxious (again. me too girl.)

i guess casper would still be in high school, and sadie was still just a toddler. danny had already been working from home for years, so it would be nothing new for him

trigger warning for serious discussion of covid below

mikaela is a pediatric nurse at a hospital, so i don't really want to go into detail about how emotionally damaging that time must've been :( she would be working nonstop and i think she wouldn't even want to go home afterwards for fear of transferring germs. she might have stayed in a hotel during the peak of things

i'm gonna be honest i think 2020 would've been the worst year of coco's life because her boyfriend had cancer and was going through chemo, so obviously she could not be anywhere near him unless she was willing to be 100% quarantined with him, which she couldn't do because she needed to work. she had people counting on her. and she had.... a lot of other stuff going on too, some of which would've been affected by a pandemic but i can't really go into detail about that

and finally i have to state the obvious -- people died, no matter how careful they or their families were, and sometimes it didn't even matter how healthy they were before covid hit. i had family members who were immunocompromised get covid and i thought they wouldn't survive but they did, while other people in my life were only in their 40s/50s and healthy but they didn't survive. so in my mind, there's no point trying to guess how my characters would fare, and also it just feels icky in general. but it felt weirder to not acknowledge this at all, so. here's this ramble.

i also want to send love to anyone who continues to be affected by covid in a world that wants you to believe it's "over", whether that be from long covid, grief, being immunocompromised yourself, etc. i see you ♥

[luvly-writer]

"But Oh..Cara Mia"

Ch. 8: Are we making progress?

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Dick Grayson x Latina! Reader

Warnings: None

Status: Ongoing

Author's note: I AM BACK! So my absence has an explanation. First, uni is tough and I bearly had time, but we made it! YAY! Second isss that I know what I wanted to write but didn't know how to put it into words. Which was tough AF. Like I know the next plot point that is coming but didn't know how to like get to it LMAO. In my mind, I connected it like "DUH IT GOES AFTER THIS" but when it came to actually writing it I was like "HELP" BUT IT HAPPENED AND SINCE WE DID IT HERE YOU GO! CH. 8 AND 9. HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY AND REMEMBER FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS LOVED AND ACCEPTED DOVES!

Taglist: @lorosette @nanas-teatime @prettyacademia00 @mxtokko @sarahkaliii @w31rdg1rl @eurydicegrimes @writing-for-the-hell-of-it

Series Materlist:

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If we could use a person to describe the words relentless and determined, Damian Wayne would come to mind. This boy was focused, and all of his family noticed. First, was Tim. He had been down at the cave the entire day and noticed that Damian would only obligate bring Dick to the cave and ask him to spar whenever Yn was in her lab. He would go a little rougher, making sure Dick would have to speak to her in order to get his sore muscles checked out. Then it was Duke. Seeing as most of his suit was getting fixed by Yn to get used to his powers better, he would see how Damian would rip small parts of Dick's suit to obligate him to go and ask Yn to get it fixed. Then it was the girls. They had noticed that Yn began to receive random flowers every once in a while going by the name of a secret admirer. They had seen Damian pay the man that brought them when they were coming back from lunch. This resulted in Dick being truly observant of Yn's reactions to them and trying to indirectly know more of this "secret admirer" of hers. Finally, it was Jason and Bruce. They would see some of their shirts and hoodies missing and later find them in Yn's room or her wearing them with the smell of an unknown perfume. After further investigation, Bruce found Damian had bought a men's perfume and only used it to spray those items. Damian was setting Dick up by using his flirtations and his jealousy against him. His plan was that if he could layer that up enough, Dick would understand that something was different and would realize his sentiments for Yn. And yet...it didn't work.

"He is setting him up for failure my GOD JAJAJA!" Laughed out Stephanie. Yn had gone out to get some food for everyone and Dick had gone away to attend a call. The rest were lounging at the Batcave. They had decided that they would try to investigate Riddler's next move together and the best place for that was the cave. The conversation had shifted from the case to Damian's mission when Jason brought it up. They were dying of laughter at his plan and asked about how it was going. "Terrible. Grayson remains oblivious to the world inside him and Yn is more confused than ever whenever he mixes his flirtations with passive-aggressive accusations and inquiries. It only makes them bicker even more." Damian huffs out as he cleans his knives and swords. He was bitter that it wasn't working out. The rest laughed in amusement. "Damian, this is a war that has been going on for YEARS. Jealousy is a feeling that they have grown so accustomed to when it comes to the other that it's almost second nature. You aren't changing anything." Barbara laughed making the rest snicker, even Bruce was sending amused looks their way. As a result, Damian did something they NEVER thought he would do. "Well then, would any of you care to help me out?" He asked. Damian Wayne asked for help and everyone was stunned. They all exchanged glances and dwelled on the question. Too many years have passed. "Why the fuck not! Im in" said Jason, wanting to see where this went. And so everyone was on board. Alfred and Bruce exchanged worried glances. Yn and Dick were not easy to trifle with. There were never two people more destined to be with one another, that was true, but heavens they were NOT easy to work with. When Yn had come back, she looked around and sensed something was different with them, almost suspicious, yet she didn't pay mind. They are a bunch of weirdos so she shouldn't be surprised at this point.

The following weeks were rather strange, she noticed. Dick was a little bit squirmish and when asked, he would avoid the topic. You had decided to ignore him, thinking he was just in one of his Dick moments. Instead, you had focused on the rest, but even they were weird. Whenever Dick would come near you, any of the girls would throw comments such as, "Oh shit, you guys would make a good couple, guess social media’s right" or "my word, both of you act like a married couple" or even, "you knoooooow, seeing you guys now, if you two ever had kids, they would be good looking as hell with your combined genes" and even go to the point of, "both of you emit such high sexual tension! get a room!" These would leave you both blushing and unable to look each other in the eye. They would be said with teasing smiles and curious looks, observing both of you precisely. Barbara would give you a knowing look whenever they came from her. The boys had taken to flirting with Yn jokingly whenever Dick was around. Jason's compliments normally came with a fondness for his older sister, ranging from how she looked today to saying that ANY man would be lucky (stares at Dick who is side-eyeing him real hard). Tim would compliment her intelligence and state how important she was to the team. Normally, he would say them after one of Dick's quips was a little too harsh. Duke normally was the worst. Not because they were bad, but because they were absurd and Yn LOVED them. They could go from "You know the other day I saw one single leaf and thought it was pretty and it made me think of you" or "your left shoe looks great on you, big sis" and finally to, "you know, that one eyelash is super pretty". She would laugh so hard cause they would catch her so off-guard and it would cause Dick to look at her directly, adoring her smile and laugh, softly smiling at her.

They had thought that if they could showcase how well they'd be together or make all of Yn's attributes even more OBVIOUS, it would do something. BUT! IT! DIDN'T! Even Bruce had gone and said they would make great partners if they pushed their differences aside and Alfred had commented on how she would make a great choice for his date at the next ball, for the public image and to keep everyone in check of course, and still nothing. They were all baffled at how oblivious the two of them were. Finally, it all came down to Damian, fed up and tired, who decided to take a moreeeee direct approach.

"You are staring again." He drily stated to Dick who looked at him panicked. "Am not!" Defended Dick and Damian deadpanned at him. "Yes you are, it's distracting you" he responded and Dick huffed out a response. "I was just looking at her." Damian smirked up at him, knowing he caught him, "I did not state if it was a she or a he" Dick just rolls his eyes and ruffles his hair, and laugh "Shut up" and Damian smiles softly at him. Grayson didn't comment on that making Damian see it as a small victory. He would continue to call him out on the small things, careful to make sure that Dick didn't catch on. He would ask him why he was angry when Yn received flowers (yn had found out they were from him and his excuse was that she should decorate her lab cause it looked ugly. The real reason was that Damian liked that it brought a smile to her face and he had already grown so fond of her. She never made him feel as if he was a bother or any less worthy than the rest, but he wasn't going to tell her that. He did make her promise she wouldn't tell anyone.) or when she wore something of Jason's and he would scoff at Dick every time he would make excuses. Damian truly was a handful during those weeks, but he thought that when he started to do that, there was real progress. With his somewhat hostile attempts and everyone's comments, they had noticed little things that began to happen.

Dick would bring Yn coffee, and sometimes would tell her he appreciated her work. Yn would finally return some of Dick's quips with a more flirtatious tone (normally, the flirtatious tone came from Dick seeing as he is flirty by nature) and initiate physical contact. She would bump her hip to his whenever he passed by her and both would exchange teasing glances and brush his hair out of his face whenever she was helping him with his injuries. They would see how sometimes his hands would stay on her waist whenever she was fixing a particularly deep gash on his forehead and she would allow herself to laugh a little louder at his jokes. The rest would high-five and congratulate each other since they were making progress, VERY SLOW, but progress nonetheless.

It was all chill until one day, Damian was on his way to get Titus to take him for a walk when he heard Dick and Bruce discussing some matters regarding the Teen Titans. "I know, I know we are in the middle of an investigation that needs all hands on deck, but they need me there for some time. Kory has been calling me none stop asking me to pass by and help with some training and missions. It will be quick B. No more than a few weeks." Dick was leaving? Damian thought to himself, but he couldn't! Not after his mission was making progress. Sensing someone was getting closer to the door, Damian carried on walking quickly.

That afternoon, Dick announced that he would be leaving for Jump City and wouldn't be back for three weeks. Damian had a bad feeling about this trip and he voiced it to Barbara. She had reassured him that distance only made the heart grow fonder but he still wasn't convinced. Knowing Grayson's long history of an on-and-off relationship with Starfire, Damian kept being suspicious.

[nijigasakilove]

Much better episode than last week. Idk if they outsourced last week’s ep to save energy for this weekand the final stretch of the show or what, but this was more like it.

Enchantress is such a cool character and I’m glad to see her in the anime loved her in in the first suicide squad movie, Cara Delavigne had me in a CHOKEHOLD lmao. What’s up with the enemies in this show using mind control though? Last villain was rat catcher controlling the Demi humans and monsters, now enchantress with the elves.. kinda got a theme of that with the queen as well with how she treats the princess and her nobles.

Harley crying over the team when she thought they were dead was sweet, shows she really cares about them and sees them as the family she never had. Good thing Flagg showed up at the perfect time to get the squad out of that corner too.

The queen definitely is the big bad of this isn’t she? How you gonna try to execute people that are helping YOU for essentially free lmao. She’s just seemed off now for a while to me.

The flashback with the princess was pretty sad, but she did nothing wrong and shouldn’t beat herself up about it. Far as I’m concerned it wasn’t her actions that led to the boy’s death. He was hungry, wanted food and learnt the soldiers had food and did what any hungry kid would.

It’s the leadership of the country aka the queen’s fault for not keeping her people fed 🤷🏾‍♂️ the soldiers are there to support the people, could’ve vetted him before instantly killing him. The first scene of this series that I could definitely feel Tappei working on. The Princess freeing the squad is her first act of proper defiance against her mother after the cracks have been showing for a while now. Sucks she was still beating herself up wondering if she were leading the suicide squad to their deaths :/

Hopefully the pace picks up a little in the next episode since we only have a few more left! Solid episode though

[valentine-cafe]

omgomgomg😦 WHY IS VALERIUS SO MAJESTIC??? KAJKAJSKAJAKAKSKAJ🙇‍♂️😵‍💫🌷 if being attractive, charming, handsome, and beautiful is a crime then I'm 101% sure he'll be charged 4 times— I mean- I mean- HOW COULD HE NOT??? 😭💕

Howl, sweetie...🥹 aksjakankskskska YOU'RE SO TALENTED🥺💐 not only you can write, YOU CAN ALSO DRAW BEAUTIFULLY⁉️⁉️🙇‍♂️

If there is an award for the best oc creators in this whole universe it'll 201% got to Howl and Eden, I just know it 💌💕 oh heavens, you two are sooooo talented, keep it up!!🫶🫶 exited to see what's in store for us from the canonverse!!! :3 ESPECIALLY!!! ESPECIALLY AFTER READING 781 RISHEN COMING OUT🥺🥺 oh my, it holds my heart😫🌷 I'm more excited for the book now :(

Keep up you two!!! Don't forget to take care of urselves, you're also important!!!🌷💌 xoxo, mwah💕💕

—💐 (I want to also be able to draw like Howl🥺 I've always struggled with anatomy aksjskkjsak lmao)

⊹ ۪ ࣪ ᥫ᭡ Oh cara mia 🥺 you flatter the both of us so very much! we truly appreciate each and every time we see one of your asks popping up and showering character after character with love.

It is such a refreshing sight to see my dear - and yes, valerius would be charged for being too attractive, handsome, beautiful and charming, wouldn't he?

A man that leaves a trail of broken hearts behind him without even knowing at times hehehe ( cough cough another man of my own heart SOBS - Howl )

We are sure he would love to hear those words upclose too, wouldn't it be interesting to see his reaction, mi cara?

Eden and I are really really touched by your liking to our writing and characters and it aspires us even more, each and every time that we see all of the love and appreciation for it. you guys truly do help motivate us to get going, we admire you all just as much 🥺

And we feel the need to let many know, that though some asks of appreciation are left unanswered, it is because we go back to them and look at them with fond smiles and memories. So thank you, all of you.

This whole café has managed to make two very silly writers smile and beam like the sun and moon.

We are also very happy to see that the interest for the books have spurred on! The coming out fic about Rishen is a very touching piece written by Eden and she did so incredibly well, it is beautiful, isn't it? He is gonna be a character that tugs at many heartstrings in many ways when you all get to see her a bit more canonically. They're a very beautiful character :,)) I cry often about her.

And soon enough there will be a surprise for all of you in regards to it as well. So hang around and see dearies?

As for the art amore, I thank you many a moons for all of your love for it, you made me tear up when I read all of your lovely comments. And trust that you will see much more! I've been getting my spirit back and going and I am intending for it to stay!

All of the coming art will be concept art of all canonverse stuff! and I am hoping to finish some older pieces too for the café as well, I cannot wait to see your reactions! And cara mia, I am so happy I can inspire you with my art 🥺 I understand the struggle with anatomy, and trust me when I say, I still struggle. Sometimes, anatomy is just feeling for what feels right, that's what makes it art, isn't it? 💙

please take lots of care of yourself dearest, and remember to get rest, hydrate lots and make sure to eat lots of good food to keep yourself going! we wish for you all the best and all of the peace and serenity in your life and for things to feel vibrant and magical, thank you for being such a lovely experience popping up and bringing happiness to people 💐

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Hi, I'm back, I have been rotating chapter 3 in my head all day.

...I'm Yours by Alessia Cara is Jam in this chapter to me...

Ooooooooooo another song to listen to awawawawwawa.

And damnit, the lyrics are perfect now I have to do a whole analysis on how they link up to Sorry it's locked lmao /nm

Andddd, this has turned out way too long. As always I swear. It's a whole damn essay, I'm so sorry, this fic has rotted my brain and I can't not babble everything I have about it. So:

SO lyrics.

Some nerve you have To break up my lonely And tell me you want me How dare you march into my heart Oh how rude of you To ruin my miserable And tell me I'm beautiful 'Cause I wasn't looking for love no

Obviously, Jay starts out reeeeeaaaaaally not wanting to fall in love again, not wanting to fall in love with Tim because of everything that happened with Alex. But he's also aware that he and Tim are kinda dancing around each other and that Tim is actively, though quietly, trying to make Jay realise that he likes him. Obviously Jay's a traumatised dumbass so to begin with didn't realise Tim actually liked him, and just thought it was a purely sexual thing, like what he had with Alex. Then he realised it was more than that and that scared him so he decided he wouldn't let himself get close with Tim in that way for fear of getting hurt.

Then, obviously, the "ruin my miserable and tell me I'm beautiful" bit is when Tim finally decided to say fuck it and tell Jay he likes him because Jesus Christ this man is either incredibly oblivious or purposefully dense. (it's a bit of both). The "how rude" part to me is about Jay feeling like Tim was lying when he said he likes how Jay looks, to make him feel better so that it'd hurt even more when Tim leaves him.

Nobody asked you to get me attached to you In fact you tricked me And I wasn't trying to fall in love But boy you pushed me

Basically about Jay feeling kind of like it's Tim's fault that he fell for him, like, not in a malicious way, just Jay kind of feeling perturbed by the fact that even given their situation Tim was and is still willing to try and make it work, to be kind and gentle with Jay. I don't know how to explain it, like, Tim flirting overtly, and also just generally being quietly caring and stuff, looking after Jay when he was out of it, encouraging him to get help too etc.

Jay almost feels betrayed by the fact that he's fallen in love again. Betrayed by himself, betrayed by Tim, even though he doesn't understand why he feels betrayed by Tim. It's just one of those muddled up feelings you get sometimes when your brain is panicking and just throwing out every thought and feeling to try and rationalise it. The actual reasoning is that Jay's subconsciously kinda assuming that Tim knows everything he knows (even though logically he knows he can't) about what happened with Alex. Which means that the fact that Tim is being so kind and caring and kinda flirting etc, makes Jay's brain feel like Tim's ignoring the fact that Jay doesn't want to fall in love again. Even though logically he knows Tim can't know he doesn't want to fall in love again. Y'know?

Tim's been quietly, gently, respectfully, pushing Jay's boundaries, like with the walking around shirtless etc. If Jay asked him to stop, even slightly insinuated he was uncomfortable with it externally, he'd tone it all the way back or stop completely, whatever Jay needs. But it's like that thing of challenging your behaviours so you can get over them. Tim's challenging Jay's fear of intimacy and commitment, but still trying to let Jay be the one to make that first move. (Tho eventually he does kinda give him a little nudge in the right direction, because jesus Jay is emotionally constipated)

You know that video of a dam being opened for the first time in ages? And it, like, starts off slow and there's sooooooo much much and silt and rubble, and then it gets faster and faster until it's just power washing the valley thing it's in? That's Jay's emotions. Nothing nothing nothing EVERYTHING! TAKE COVER!!! That's what happened when he just broke down and blurted everything out to Tim in chapter 3.

So all that I'm asking Is that you handle me with caution 'Cause I don't give myself often But I guess I'll try today

This bit is kind of more about chapter 4 in my mind than chapter 3, though it still works for chapter 3 anyway, just not quite as much. Jay is tentatively trusting Tim with his mental health, his relationship issues, (eventually his issues around sex as well, because he definitely does have some of those lmao, he can't not in my idea of how the stuff with Alex has affected him).

In chapter 3 Jay tells Tim most of what happened with Alex, all the way from uni to two years ago when they were alone together last, it's mostly a breakdown and then Jay going back in and clarifying what got lost in the crying, but a lot of it, when he's clarifying it all, is him asking Tim not to do what Alex did. Does he tell Tim the full truth about what happened with Alex, no, he dilutes it a shit tonne to make sure Tim doesn't think any of it is Alex's fault.

But Tim can kind of tell there's things jay is holding back.

He knows Jay is asking him to "handle him with caution" he just doesn't know how to do that because Jay isn't telling him everything and he knows that. Even before they kiss, he can tell this is Jay's way of putting little feelers out to see whether Tim's going to hurt him. Then, once he starts to trust that Tim won't hurt him, they kiss and Jay is kind of thinking "hey, maybe this could work, maybe I can try, even though through all the time he's been without Alex (between uni and 2 years ago, then between 2 years ago and now) he hasn't really managed to "give himself" very often, because his brain always went back to Alex. He was kind of dependent of Alex in a way?

Is that the right word? I don't think that's the right word, but the thesaurus isn't giving me a better one. Reliant? Like, he was reliant on Alex for his own feelings of self worth, kinda? And then 2 years ago Alex well and truly crushed what was left of that lmao.

'Cause I've had my heart Broken before And I promised I would never Let me hurt anymore

Chorus 1.

Pretty simple this one. Alex broke Jay's heart, ripped it and his self esteem and self worth and everything, to absolute shreds and then jumped up and down on the pieces, just to make sure Jay's mental health was well absolutely pulverised.

(He did it for the same reason he killed people, to save them. If he could make Jay hate him enough for Jay to stop investigating and forget everything that happened he could keep him safe. I NEEEEEEED people to know that Alex is just soooooo morally grey and mentally fucked up by the Operator in this, just like he is in the actual series. He genuinely loved and cared about Jay, it's just that that love got twisted and warped by the Operator. Then back in uni he was downright terrified of the fact that he was queer, so he jumped at the opportunity Amy provided, because he was Bi and Scared and she was perfect. I 100% stand by the fact that he definitely talked to Amy about what he and Jay had had and she helped him with it, helped him deal with the internalised shit... and also gave him an absolute earful about how he'd treated Jay in the end and how he needed to go and apologise to him —Alex never did, he was too scared of what Jay would think for that, and by the time he was ready to apologise, they'd lost touch. Then everything with the Operator started so he couldn't anyway—)

Tangent over lmao, uh, after Alex, Jay made a promise to himself to not fall for another unobtainable man, another person who just wanted him for sex, another person in general. He was too scared, and with all the stuff with the Operator there was no way in hell that he'd be able to heal from all the stuff with Alex, so if he wanted to start dating again or anything it'd have to be after all the Eldrich horror shit had ended. If he was still alive by then.

But I tore down my walls And opened my doors And made room for one So baby I'm yours Oh baby I'm yours Oh baby I'm yours Oh baby I'm yours Oh baby I'm yours But I tore down my walls And opened my doors And made room for one So baby I'm yours

Chorus 2.

This is definitely chapter 4 (and the possible oneshot I have planned for getting to write some more smut for Jam) where Jay finally tells Tim everything (not technically everything everything, but, like, everything about what happened with Alex, he's still gonna be a lil idiot and keep his emotions about it locked up tight, but y'know, he's getting there I guess)

He tells Tim about the kiss, and that finally kind of "tears down the walls" and "opens the door" etc for them to actually start sort of working towards a real relationship. They definitely have a longgggggggg way to go, but it's a start. It allows Jay to start genuinely trusting that Tim won't hurt him, allows him to genuinely trust that Tim likes and cares for him etc. It's just that kind of thing that lets them feel a little safer in each other than that would have otherwise.

I think specifically the "I tore down my walls" bit, like, Jay did that himself. Tim didn't barge in and tear those walls down, Jay started dismantling them himself, sure he had Tim's help, but it was still his decision to do it. Y'know?

Is it going to last forever? No.

Are the events of MH gonna happen anyway and tear them apart just like in the series, make them stop trusting each other etc? Absolutely. Tho I don't think I'm gonna go into that in chapter 4, that'll mostly be a happy ending for them (tho rest assured there'll definitely be a bit of angst in it, because who do you think I am?)

But yeah. "Baby I'm yours" Jay finally feeling like he's able to fully give himself to someone, sexually, romantically, everything, whereas with Alex it was only ever sexually. He didn't get his other, emotional, needs met through that relationship, he will with Tim. Even though Tim definitely doesn't really know what he's doing either. He has more of an idea than Jay though, even if he's probably only really able to express it/talk about it in a kinda clinical way.

(Honestly I feel like Tim would really struggle with not being super clinical in how he talks about emotions and stuff, like, sure, he doesn't sound exactly like a doctor necessarily, doesn't use scientific words, but given his childhood in the hospital, he'd definitely speak in a way that's very detached from what he's feeling. Like he's trying too hard to be rational and logical rather than looking at it as a whole, in a realistic way. Because if you completely ignore the emotional side of something, you can't be rational about it because you're entirely ignoring a whole part of what's happening. That's what Tim does. He removes himself from the situation emotionally, even with Jay —though I'd say that he either hides his detachment from everything better with Jay, or is slightly, slightly, more attached and in the moment and letting himself experience his feelings, with Jay—)

I'm mad at you For being so cute And changing my mood And altering my rude

This bit's also pretty self explanatory I guess, Jay being kind of, not actually angry at Tim, but just kinda disgruntled at how easy it feels like it was for him to help Jay to trust him. He's mad that he finds Tim cute, attractive, kind, caring, whatever. He's mad at how easy it feels like it was for Tim to help him change his opinion towards relationships etc. Cos like, for Jay I feel like it kind of all happened in the background for most of it, like he was subconsciously working through some of his shit about Alex, and then he gets to maybe a few months before chapter three and suddenly he's falling head over heels.

Tim fell first and fell longer, Jay fell harder and faster, y'know?

Do they both like each other the same amount? Yeah just about, Jay's probably a bit more obsessive with it, but because it's Tim this time he'll be able to keep Jay in check and keep him from becoming viciously dependent on interactions with him in order to inform his mood for the day. Y'know? Does that make sense? Like when every part of your mental stability completely hinges on your interactions with another person and if you think anything is wrong it sends you absolutely spiralling? Had a relationship like that once lmao, not fun. Anyway uh

What's wrong with you You make me sick For being so perfect What did I do What can I do, oh

Just more of Jay being lightheartedly pissed that Tim is so "perfect".

Honestly I feel like if I wanted to I could take these two in a toxic direction too, with Jay putting Tim on a pedestal and obsessing over the fact that he's "perfect." Y'know? Because compared to the end of Jaylex's relationship, the start of Jam's relationship would be pretty damn healthy. But comparing ends to beginnings isn't really an accurate comparison, y'know? Anyway, to begin with, Jay putting Tim on a pedestal would lead to him not being able to see Tim as ever having done anything wrong, but once all the small things pile up, or Tim fucks up in a big enough way, it could send Jay absolutely crashing down in an incredibly destructive spiral, because suddenly Tim's not "perfect" anymore, which means he must be just like Alex, which means he must be doing this maliciously, which could lead to allllll the pent up anger from across both relationships getting let out all at once, all at Tim, which would not be good for either of them.

(because Tim, unfortunately, is gonna be very pissed at Alex when he finds out about the kiss, and ends up managing to convince Jay to see Alex the exact opposite to how he currently does. So instead of Jay insisting none of it was Alex's fault, he'll believe that everything was Alex's fault and that he did it all maliciously, rather than what actually happened, which is that Alex's sense of reality and what would keep the people he cared about safe was extremely warped and he genuinely believed he was doing what's right. He was trying to save Jay. —I wanna write Alex's pov of after Jay leaves in chapter 2 at some point so I can kinda show both sides so it's more clear that no one but the Operator is really to blame.—)

I don't think I'll do that, but honestly who knows, it could be interesting to think about. More angst lmao.

And I wasn't trying To melt this heart of iron But the way you hold me Makes the old me pass away

Again, Jay just sort of lightheartedly lamenting the fact that he fell in love without trying to. He wasn't trying to lower his walls, but it just sort of happened because Tim genuinely made him feel safe. Or safe emotionally. Physically? While they're being hunted and haunted? Nah, not possible really. But emotionally, yeah, Jay feels safe with Tim.

And of course, Tim is very free with cuddles and kisses and gentle, innocent touches, which Jay never really got with Alex unless it was under the guise of aftercare, so that's chipping away at the very old, very rusted on distrust of affection and romance etc. The way Tim holds him makes him feel so different to how he felt when Alex held him.

And I would be lying If I said I wasn't scared to fall again But if you promise me you'll catch me Then it's okay

Just Jay talking about his fear of falling in love again, simple simple. Him trusting that Tim will catch him, won't let him get hurt as he falls. Maybe not even that, maybe not even trust that Tim will catch him, more just that Tim has promised he will, so that on its own is enough for Jay, because with Alex the idea of them ever actually dating was always very quickly shut down because Alex was scared.

Chorus 1 and 2 again

Oh I hate that I Spend my days just wasting time Day dreaming 'til I see you again I'm not used to this

Very much kinda deviating from the exact lyrics of the song here, but to me this bit kind of could be about those months where Jay was all fucked up after they ran into the Operator at Alex's old house. He feels like they wasted time, that he wasted time daydreaming about Tim (because from what he remembers of that morning it seems like Tim was being extra caring towards him, which, unsurprisingly, he kinda daydreamed about and stuff, idk) but like, he's just not used to being taken care of like that, being taken care of like Tim clearly has. He saw it in the entries, he saw it when he woke up and Tim didn't realise he wasn't all fucked up anymore.

Oh I used to be so used to boys just using me For you to be you to me Feels new to me

Lmao well damn. Uh. Self explanatory. Very much self explanatory. Alex was never fully himself with Jay, because of all his internalised bullshit, and Jay honestly doesn't know what was real or not with Alex. Was Alex being nice to him two years ago the real Alex? Or was Alex yelling at him and insulting him and scaring him in the kitchen the real Alex? He doesn't know. Whereas with Tim it feels a lot more straightforward. He feels like he can tell what's real and what's not with Tim. And he feels like he hasn't seen the 'not real' part yet, and hopes he never will.

Though I guess that could be a little dangerous if Tim was being manipulative, because Jay's so caught up in the whole "the first thing Tim did to show him he likes him is the last thing Alex tried" that he wouldn't even realise if that kiss from Tim had purely been done to cause just this. A complete dumbfounded-ness in Jay because he was shown a bit of "genuine" affection straight off the bat. That's not what's happening. Tim just actually likes him and wants to date him etc. But ooooo the evil that it could be if I wanted to make all of Jay's lil love interests into toxic ones. Tho I guess he's a lil toxic too, so.

'Cause I usually cheer for the bad side Love under a bad sign So it makes me mad I'm Falling again Falling again

Self explanatory. Or I guess explained by everything else I've already said, because jesus this is so long and I do not need to reiterate the same thoughts again

Chorus 2 again.

Honestly if you read all of this shit, damn, because why did I write this much? It's a freaking essay lmao. I don't care tho because this fic has eaten my brain and I will rant about it for hours if I can. I love it so much. I get to put so much of myself into both Jay and Tim and awawawawawwawawawawwawawawa

[pangtasias-atelier]

A Day In The Month (Ch.3)

So I was aware of me disliking like a lot of the seasonal banners, but I didn't realize that I kind of flat out hate almost all of them lmao. Especially Day of Devotion since it's all the same and so are like almost all the others. I definitely rushed this out just to get it out by march and also wanna get to fat bitches despite also wanting to pace sizes. So not much large sizes still but definitely will be some whenever next chapter is out cause I think I'll skip spring unless next is the kid banner cause that I'm skipping for sure lmao

But anyway, take this shorter entry that is far more focused unlike last chapter which was meant to be focused as well lol.

Warning: This is a fetish story!

"He really can't have gotten them all to be the same. It's just ridiculous! Who could possibly hate such a holiday?" Commander Anna's ponytail is loose. She lugs a large wooden crate in both arms; the frame creaks as she rushes to her table, the red and pink contents nearly spilling out its very sides. Despite her frantic state, her stand is already near empty. Not from lack of goods, but from a surplus of customers. Thankfully, one of her sisters, specifically Anna, attends to their guests while Anna restocks in-between transactions.

"Commander Anna, what's with the rush?" Alfonse carrying his own crate to assist Anna, he happily slams the wooden object onto the floor and lets out a relieved sigh as he arches his back. His pudgy little belly sticks out forward.

"It's the summoner! He refuses to buy anything!" Anna looks up at Alfonse from her seat, all the while restocking the stand without a single item out of place. "He should be a great customer, but no! And it's not just him, he's gotten all the others to not care about the Day of Devotion," Anna reaches into the second crate, a good chunk of the first crate of chocolate already sold.

"But you've already sold so much. Even I've bought a few things from you," Alfonse eyes the chest chock full of money behind Anna, the thing already close to full.

"There's always more profits to gain. That's seven potential customers I'm not getting. And-" Anna starts sniffing like a bloodhound. She scrambles around to get up off her chair, her brain scattered with the smell and thought of gold. She follows the sensation, walking into the center of the large room full of booths all run by Annas. She spots both Corrin and Freyr, the two wandering around the center of the room.

And it's apparent that she isn't the only one aware of them, every single Anna aware of the potential money to be gained from such valuable guests. But none of them move from their spots, a secret pact made between all of them to not interfere when it comes to customers.

"I think I'll see my way out," Alfonse scurries on out, his bag full of chocolates meant for Hrid rustling on his arm.

Unfortunately for Corrin, the poor overweight dragon still hasn't made a purchase. Corrin's arms are wrapped around Freyr's flabby bicep, the much taller man still keeping a perfectly straight back as he faces forward. Meanwhile, Corrin can barely even muster up the effort to make eye contact, his eyes instead making contact with the mostly the floor, Corrin unable to even bother looking at the merchandise on display at the gaudy, over decorated tables.

"I already mentioned that the summoner doesn't care for the holiday, so anything should do,"

"I know that," Corrin's face doesn't lift up as he takes slow steps, but his grip on Freyr does tighten, Corrin's fangs showing as he grits his teeth. He barely registers what Anna is saying, the far too eager chatter nothing more than a sales pitch into getting him to buy the most expensive things. Which is usually the largest, rarest chocolate mixed with some other ingredients, most if not all the gifts for the Day of Devotion are something edible considering the weights of all the men.

Corrin eventually settles on some dark chocolate, the bitter confection mixed with sweet caramel. And before Anna can even say anything else, Corrin hands her enough money and leaves. He ignores all the other Annas in the room; every single one slowly turns their head to follow the two portly men's movement, each waiting and hoping to see them stop by their stand. But neither do, they walk out of the room without waiting — more so from Freyr's insistence by keeping a hand on Corrin's back and gently pushing him forward.

"Are you content with your purchase?" Freyr asks only after they leave room and the conjoined hallways, the two back near the hall is the Order's castle where they live.

"It's just," The plastic wrapping tightly holding the box of chocolate treats crinkles as Corrin's fingertips grip the edges of the box. "I would like to give Kiran a meaningful gift. At least anything decent enough to repay everything. Growing up, I never had a chance to,,," The box cracks. Corrin's hands glowing a faint, iridescent mixture of light blue and deep purple, his hands are slightly transformed.

"Why don't we head inside first?" Freyr leads Corrin to the hall's living space, everyone else most likely out and doing their own shopping.

Well, except for Tibarn, the hawk comfortably perched on the barstool.

"Hmm, perhaps you would feel more comfortable somewhere else?"

"Tibarn already knows," Corrin shakes both of his hands and takes deep breaths to slowly retransform himself.

Tibarn looks up from his beer and plate of food when he hears his name. He turns his head, his broad back and doughy rear facing the two; though he quickly stands up when he realizes who it is. Tibarn's gut is on full display with his open jacket; the small belly is accompanied by a soft, yet powerful chest, Tibarn's pecs having some extra heft to them with his figure. Both Tibarn's meaty chest and plush belly have some motion to them as he gets up and walks towards the two. Tibarn is definitely larger than the two by a chunk of weight, always having been larger than the two portly men when all had been initially summoned.

"Why aren't you with the others?" Freyr asks as he goes to sit down in the main seating section in the room, a decently sized coffee table placed in between several couches. The coffee table also has a small covered platter of treats, usually some amount of snacks readily available for the slightly overweight men.

"Duma and Grima went out. And someone needs to keep an eye on them, so Seteth went with them," Tibarn stands in front of Corrin; he sizes him up, taking a look at his expression.

"Before you ask, no I didn't see them. They can enjoy themselves with the alternate versions of me. It's just, I've felt so much better ever since I was summoned to Askr, so I'd like to show my appreciation to Kiran. It's not like this is the first Day of Devotion, either. I always end up giving chocolate," Corrin lets out a small sigh as he stares at his now cracked box of chocolate.

"Today isn't the only day to show your appreciation. All today is is any regular day. The only difference is that the humans suddenly decided to dress it up in fancy language. Nobody did any of this back in Phoenicis. You just show how much you care for someone by your actions. And from the way you cling to Kiran all the time-"

"I don't!" Corrin shouts with wide eyes and upturned face to look at Tibarn. "I don't cling to him. I just prefer being by Kiran's side,"

"We also do not partake in this holiday in Ljosalfheimr besides a few who took interest in it after seeing humans practice it. And regardless, Kiran has certainly made no mention of being upset with you, or anything even resembling it to be honest. So you can put your concerns to rest," Freyr barely makes a noise when Tibarn gracelessly drops himself onto the couch.

"Yeah, relax! You're worrying over nothing,"

Everyone's attention turns when the door suddenly opens.

"Oh, here you all are," Kiran pokes his head through the door, letting himself in after seeing who's inside. Though he has to be careful when walking through the doorway, slightly bending down lest his horns scrape against wood. The very first summoned by Briedablik, Kiran had been summoned by Askr's own will, and to represent the divine being he has his own pair of bovine features much like Askr. His horns frame the top of his head, the two decently thick while also being rather long. Which, when paired with Kiran's height, make for a rather statuesque figure that appears even taller with Kiran's lean body that has the bare minimum of muscle to it. Kiran is the only thin male in the order, a fact that none question about, all seemingly normal with nothing out of place, everyone in the Order believing their chunky weights normal.

"I've been looking for you three. The others are already waiting for dinner," Kiran holds a large, filled bag in one hand. His tail flickers behind him as he waits for the others to stand up.

"Everyone else has already given you their gift?" Corrin asks. His grip tightens.

"We will see you two for dinner,"

"Later," Tibarn pulls Freyr by the arm; they quickly leave the room

Kiran doesn't say much to stop them as they leave, merely scoffing instead. But, he does focus his attention back on Corrin once they do leave. "Yeah, Tibarn, Freyr, and Seteth gave me something early in the morning. And Duma and Grima gave me stuff not too long ago. Why?"

"Well, even if it's not much, I want you to have this," Corrin lowers his head as he outstretches his arms to give his chocolate to Kiran.

"These are the caramel ones, right? I was eyeing these when I saw some of the Annas setting these up,” Kiran accepts his gift, placing it into the pouch with the others. He gives them a soft hug, bending down a bit to properly and carefully give him a hug without poking him with his horns. “And nothing is too little from you,”

“You gave me an entire kit of stuff though,” Corrin’s face is practically crammed against Kiran’s shoulder due to their height difference. Thankfully, he doesn’t feel his stomach press against Kiran with how much Kiran has to arch his back.

“Oh that? All it was was a bunch of tiny things you might like to calm you down. Physical gifts are whatever, I’d much rather spend the Day of Devotion with you than concerning ourselves on what gifts to get each other. And now that I’m finally done cooking everything ” Kiran pulls away from the embrace but keeps a hand collapsed with one of Corrin’s. He leads him out of the room, guiding him to another place in the massive wing they live in.

Kiran opens the grand doors leading to the decently sized conjoined kitchen and dining room. Everything is already set up, trays of dishes lining the table. Most of it is made by Kiran, only a few extras made by the much more experienced staff to help recreate dishes from each heroes’ world.

Corrin grumbles at the sight. He fidgets with his free hand. Repeatedly pressing his nails against his palm.

“Listen, I don’t care about what you give me. I care about what you do, and what you do is make me happy. So truthfully, you don’t need to worry about today. It’s just a ploy by Anna to make more money,” Kiran gives Corrin a small peck on the cheek before gently ushering him to his seat next to him so as to join the already eating group.

“O-okay,” While Corrin still feels a little unsatisfied, the anxiety riddled dragon hard to be fully trusting, he does smile at the least. His nerves much calmer now he easily accepts the seat that Kiran pulls out for him. And the food that Kiran serves him, deciding to eat his fill and enjoy the Day of Devotion.