#dad!barty crouch junior

[ellecdc]

Hiii congrats on your new job, we love a employed queen 🙌. I hope I’m not bothering you with requests my marauders brainrot is taking over. Could I please perhaps request headcannons and whatnot about the boys as dads, individually and/or the different polys you write for? If that’s alright, your latest fic brought this on I suppose 😭. Bye bye now lovely, enjoy your dayyy

marauders brain rot is taking over for me too babes, no worries.

James:

cries constantly. baby is upset? he's crying. baby is adorable? he's crying. baby learns something new? James is crying.

tummy time is daddy time because James is on his stomach in front of the baby too - his partner will make jokes saying that James and their five month old are working on their gross motor skills together

loves playing pretend; get's in arguments with the child if he doesn't think they're imagining 'properly' (his partner has to scold James for ruining the fun)

the dad-friend; kids will run up to the door to ask if your kid and James can come outside to play - plays manhunt, nickie nine-doors houses with the kids, is the best dad to go trick-or-treating with, his kids friends come over to hangout with his kids and him

cries at every single milestone: first steps, first word, birthdays, plays/awards or recitals or sports games etc, graduations, first dates, school dances etc

begs his partner the second his kids move out for more (regardless of how old they are at that point) "we can adopt! yeah? what about foster - why don't foster kids? please?!"

then he becomes a grandpa and the whole damn thing starts all over again

Sirius:

I see Sirius as a bit of a worrier - constantly in his head about what he's doing, if he's doing it right, if he's being a good enough dad, etc etc

stuck like glue to the kid the second they're born - takes night time feedings and every diaper change because he doesn't want to be absent like his dad (and maybe mother? probably had nannies in muggle AU or relied on Kreacher for child rearing) -> Sirius wants to be there for it all; he wants his child to know that their dad was there

does stuff with the kid that's a little too old for them lol - five month old wearing a leather jacket, buys a motorcycle helmet for a 1.5 year old (partner had none of it!), buys them their first bike at 3, etc

BUT then....as the child get's older - refuses to believe that they're that old. "a cellphone?! what do you need a cellphone for!? you're seven!" "dad, I'm 13." "since when!?!?!?"

definitely wants his kids to learn how to play an instrument (he doesn't even care which instrument; he just wants to share his love of music with them!) but doesn't want it to be a chore/burden like learning the piano was for him and Reggie (and many children world wide lol), so gently encourages through out their whole life and buys them any instrument they're interested in and let's them change their minds 700 times (even though it breaks his heart a little bit each time)

pretends not to cry when he sends them off to school (in kindergarten or college in muggle AU or Hogwarts)

cheers the loudest and most obnoxiously at all sports games/recitals/awards etc even if he has no fucking clue what's going on (OMG, I just thought - I used to work at a dance studio and he was be the best fucking dance dad!!!!!)

known as the cool/hot dad amongst his kids' friends

Remus:

so incredibly freaked that something this small and perfect could possibly exist - moves in slow motion for the first month of the babies life because he's afraid of dropping it or shaking it unintentionally

talks to the infant like it's a regular person/adult; running joke in the family (i.e., friend group) that the baby won't have a first word - they'll just one day start stringing full sentences

swears constantly in front of the kid - one of their first words is fuck which Sirius and James find hilarious and never let Remus forget it (and they actively encourage the kid to continue it too because they love to see Remus sweat every time it happens)

insists the kids know how to play outside and get dirty - (jokingly) admonishes them if they come inside after playing and don't have dirt under their finger nails.

loves to build forts (inside and outside) and I could see him liking to hike with the kids (nothing huge, but down to streams and such), teaches them to catch (and release) frogs, bugs, etc, they take pictures of bugs they find on their walks so they can look them up when they get home

reading, arts and crafts, paintings, etc

keeps every single painting and drawing they've ever made - keeps them in a filing cabinet organized by child, age, and type

if James is the fun dad, Remus is the chill dad; all the kids in the family go to him for advice, if they are in trouble (e.g., need a ride from a party that their parents don't know about), to complain about their own parents

never not telling the kids how much he loves them and how proud he is of them

Regulus:

runs immediately to James and Sirius for advice - does not want to be an apathetic parent

deep anxiety/lots of overthinking

very gentle and delicate with his babies - afraid of hurting them and finds them to be just the most precious little things...like they're sacred and need to be handled with the utmost care

keke & I headcanoned that his partner would often find him in the middle of the night playing the piano quietly with the baby laying on top of the piano to feel the calming vibrations if he got up with them

reads baby books and parenting books front to back like they're novels - takes notes, highlights, stickie notes etc

LOVES STRUCTURE - routine is so important to Regulus as a dad; his friends end up needing to learn his child's schedule in order to ever see Regulus

his kids may find him to be a bit more strict, but he's also a bit of a pushover; will buy his kids whatever they want - his partner ends up having to yell at him and tell him that he's going to raise spoiled brats....he buys them a diamond tennis bracelet to make up for it

works really, really hard to be different than his parents; Sirius tells him constantly that he's doing a very good job of it (and they both pretend that Reg doesn't cry about it)

Barty:

had a bit of a chat about this in this post, but basically...

the most hands on and involved dad to ever walk the earth - will not go to any place that isn't child friendly or catered to children

the most proud of everything that his kid does: sits up on their own? can hold their head up? holding a fork? knocks over a block tower? can point to their nose? He's fucking celebrating, like, throwing a party over it

I could see him being like an instagram dad - constantly taking pictures and bragging about how awesome/smart/cute/perfect his kid is (but his partner had to tell Barty to stop telling other parents that this meant their kids were inferior to his......even if they were)

get's faaaarrrrrr tooo involved with playtime, one of my mutuals made some really sweet comments on the post linked above that I might turn into a quick blurb

cannot for the life of him be bad cop - he thinks everything his kids do is awesome/spectacular (even the bad stuff) -> tries to play it cool in front of his partner/co-parent but will absolutely fold the second they leave or the kid's lower lip wobbles or the give him those doe eyes

most hated parent on the PTA [parent teachers association] but volunteers for everything - every school field trip, every bake sale etc

fucking ridiculous when his kids start dating - no one is good enough for them, pouty when the kids want to spend an evening or whatnot with their new fling instead of him

takes it as a personal offence (or at least acts like it) when the kids move out/go to college

what do you all think? any other head canons I should add to this list?

[mo0ns-and-stars]

Rosekiller as girldads:

Evan: B did you know our daughter punched a boy today?

Barty: *silent holds their 5 year old daughter in his arms*

Evan: That wasn't the first time apparently the teacher said it happens quite often...

Barty: *still silent*

Rosalie(their daughter) : *giggles* Pa said if a boy bothers me I should punch him on the nose.

Evan: *Glares at Barty trying to surpress his laughter* B...

Barty: *looking at little rosie* traitor *smiles and gives her a kiss on the head*

[poseidons-getting-milk]

yk how the imperious curse puts people in a place of fantasy and bliss? I wonder how much of Barty’s bliss involved Evan.

[jamisonsss]

If Barty Crouch Jr was Australian his animagus would be a bin chicken.

I’m sorry if this is too niche for y’all

[risetherivermoon]

1st year barty was an absolute fucking nerd loser, im sorry, he was such a spoiled lil bratty dweeb, he didn't get cool till like 3rd-4th year, lets be real for a min

[sweetnnaivete]

frat boy barty vs frat boy james who would win

[lilysandhyacinths]

Barty and Evan have definitely fucked right In front of Bartys dad to spite him

+ If you’ve ever seen oitnb think about it like when Blanca and Diablo fucked in front of the old women that Blanca was taking care of.

[maiiefizz]

Harry: My father didn't strut!

Snape:

A rat:

A Werewolf:

A black cat:

A racoon:

A black dog:

A stag:

Minerva McGonagall:

Hogwarts:

[bri-cheeses]

What if I start a headcanon that Barty is really close with his grandmother. Do you see the vision? Little Barty spending the day at his grandmother’s house, making gingerbread cookies and accidentally spilling the flour everywhere, so that the kitchen ends up looking like it’s covered in snow. And his grandmother just laughs and shakes her head fondly before telling him to grab the broom and get to work, and Barty is happy to oblige because really, it just means that he gets to spend more time away from his own house while being with his favorite person in the world. And he maybe doesn’t get all of the flour out of the corners or off of the floor, since he’s only six or seven, but his grandma doesn’t worry too much. Instead she only turns her record player on and puts on one of her many vinyls, and Barty and her get back to work rolling and cutting cookies. And Barty doesn’t know a lot of things, but he does know that his favorite sound ever is his grandma’s voice singing along to one of her vinyls while they make gingerbread. And as they wait for the cookies to come out of the oven, they play card games over the dining room table, Barty barely tall enough to see over his cards, swinging his feet back and forth like he has no cares in the world. And so it makes sense that later, when Slughorn introduces the Amortentia potion to Barty’s class, that one of the primary things he smells is his grandmother’s gingerbread.

[jiangyanlissidepiece]

Hermione: I have a crush, Dad. What do I do?

Regulus: can we talk about this when I’m not about to burn dinner

Barty: I’ve got this. Look Hermione, all you have to do is—

Regulus: absolutely not

[ellecdc]

im kinda scared to ask… but what do we think barty would be like as a dad…

OMG!

……

omg

Chaotic - sooooo unbelievably involved (like quits his job/becomes a SAHD, refuses to go anywhere that isn’t child friendly [like a wedding that’s no children allowed? He won’t go]). HEAVILY invested in playing pretend…..like takes his roles to new unbelievable levels. Actively encourages mess and destruction (they’re making memories). Proud of every single thing they do (OMG TREASURE, HE JUST YAWNED! HES SO CUTE, or, OMG SHE JUST HELD ONTO HER BOTTLE ON HER OWN!! SHES SO SMART SHES GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE GENIUS BABIES, START CALLING PRESCHOOLS.) biggest pushover - NEVER the bad cop, he’s incapable of saying no to the kid.

I can’t imagine what he’d be like when they started dating / got too old to hang out with him / wants to do stuff with their friends instead.

[not-rab]

Barty Crouch Jr 😭

[star4daisy]

me and my inability to stop Barty from killing his father on fics or avoid implying that he already did

[jamisonsss]

Me: hates o/c fics, thinks they’re cringy, will never read them, avoids them like the plague.

Also me: writes o/c fic

Yeah. Nobody hates myself more then me for that.

[thepoetsdiedatthislake]

Marlene was Bartys sister. Thats it. Thats my headcannon.

[moonysnuitsfauves]

schizophrenic Barty.

him being paranoid about kindness and care and love. him driving fast, windows down until there's a hurricane in the car blowing away any sound. him fighting until the pain rings in his ears and shatters the voices enough to ignore them. they mostly sound like his father's and so much like his own. are they the same ? are they finally the same ? him obsessing about people hurting, cheating, wronging him and hallucinating about it for days. they didn't, Barty, they loved you and you thought it menacing. just because someone doesn't agree with the way you love them doesn't mean they never loved you.

him being gentle, being tender with his close ones until he see their eyes softening too low and he snaps. whispers gently suggesting about every way to make them let go so he doesn't have to fulfill any role. because he can't, because he's not good enough, never enough for them and for himself. but are they though ? are they enough ? who are they ?

he can't let himself feel happy. happiness is like your child on a playground throwing gravel at you ; it's silly and heartbreaking.

i think about schizophrenic Barty a lot.