#dating experiment

[thedatingproject]

Introduction

Welcome to my little experiment!

The goal is to go on at least 50 First Dates with the kind of men I could see myself with long term.

Why 50 and how did I arrive at this specific number? Well...according to a few of my analyst friends (especially Steve), at least a sample of 30 is required for a successful research. However, since we are dealing with humans and human emotions, a larger sample would be best. Hence, 50 dates.

I know! It sounds exhausting, doesn't it? Especially for an INFJ like me who despises small talk.

But it is for research and we do this in the name of science!



The Rules:

The men must be of high quality. People I can actually see myself having something meaningful with.

I must actually make the effort to genuinely get to know them (as much as one can on a first date) and let them get to know me (shudder).

If I like them enough, I can see them again but it does not count for the quota of the 50 First Dates

The goal of every first date is to figure out if I will want to see them again.

I can choose to reveal about the "experiment" at my discretion

I do not ghost anyone but must end the connection respectfully and kindly.

Dates can be sourced from Dating Apps (Bumble is preferred), social media (Eg: Instagram, Facebook etc), or through the recommendations of friends.

So let us begin!

All dates will be written about and listed in chronological order with the occasional random story thrown in to give more background. I may also write about other dating related stories that may not be part of the experiment itself.

All names given below are fake in order to maintain anonymity.

Date 1 - Aiden

Date 2 - Harvey

Date 0 - Steve

Date 3 - Dallas

A little bit of background information about me and what really led to this experiment in the first place -

I am Sandy. I'm in my early 30s, a Gemini, and an INFJ. I have been single for most of my late 20s - first off, thanks to a very traumatic breakup with a narcissist and then of course the tragedy that was the pandemic.

The breakup was a definite eye opening experience. It led me down the path of self-love and I don't mean just the acceptance of who I truly am and owning my existence...but I really took the time to delve into past traumas that shaped me to allow a narcissist to take advantage of me like that. Therapy and a lot of self-work later, I feel like a brand new person. I don't want to say I'm glad it happened because anyone who has been with a narcissist for even a tiny bit of time can tell you just how much it suck. However, I am grateful for how the recovery allowed me to truly find and realign myself with my values.

The unfortunate side-effect of loving myself so much is that now I have begun to feel like may be my standards for love are way too high or maybe I am just a little emotionally unavailable.

Then a friend of mine, let's call him Steve, told me that I have not really experienced life or dated enough to come to a definite conclusion about my emotional availability. His suggestion became my own little "Dating Experiment."

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[o0kawaii0o]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING 🗣🗣🗣

[femaleboysblog]

okay listen. im gonna say something here, I'm not black. however, the non black people in the tags (mostly the kendrick lamar tag) being like. oh well uwu 😔☝️how come no one talked before about drake being a pedophile and preying on black women etc? thats weird! uhhhh??????? black women have? for years???? yall didnt listen when they said 'hey this is weird' n it only got a considerate attention when it was about millie bobbie brown and still you people were like "oh whatever he still makes fire music" or whatever. and some people still are acting like this. so, listen to black women when they tell you they feel or know that something is not right. listen to black people.

[nohtora]

chúc mừng năm mới ! wishing you all good luck and good health for this lunar new year !!

in vietnamese culture, the zodiac animals are slightly different – instead of the rabbit, we celebrate the year of the cat ( aka my year hehe ) 😺 — art prints / stickers & posters !

[roanniom]

First Date

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, heavy petting, groping, slight hand job, dry humping

You both try to go slow, it's your first date after all. But it’s not as easy as it sounds when his hands are wandering and your lips are on his neck. Eddie has the top of your dress pulled down (he’d groaned dramatically when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra) and his body leans over yours, your thighs on either side of his hips and your back on the couch.

You knew you weren’t going all the way, but you’d told him he could take his jeans off. It was a selfish ask. It made it so that you could feel him better when you rubbed against him.

You suck lightly on his earlobe and Eddie gasps.

“Oh fuck.”

“Yeah?” you ask breathily, more tease than you would have guessed yourself capable of. He chuckles but it is half pant.

"Yeah."

You kiss his earlobe again, grazing your teeth lightly over the shell.

"I need to fuck you," he mutters, though he pulls back and away from your mouth. Eddie looks down at you with hazy. "But we're not fucking tonight, so I need a second to get my shit together."

While he takes a breath, he sits back on his heels, your legs still around his hips. He rests his hands heavy on your thighs and looks down at you in your amused, debauched state. It's absolutely not helping him calm down. Neither is the fact that he can't stop his hands from sliding up and squeezing over your exposed breasts.

"Fuck," Eddie mutters as he watches the supple flesh give and spill around his large fingers. His audible frustration makes you let out a giggle, and you notice that his cock twitches in his boxers at the sound. The sight has you ready to end this break, so you push him so that he's sitting against the back of the couch, clambering up to straddle him.

"You're hot," you mumble before kissing your way from his jaw to his lips. Your hand slides down his chest to rest on his abdomen. He cants his hips upward and the tip of his clothed cock taps your hand, obviously encouraging you to grasp it through the fabric. So of course you do.

"Shit, no you're hot."

You bite your lip to keep from arguing with him. He's calling you hot and if you're honest with yourself, you've never felt hotter than you do right now with his hands all over you, so you decide to go with it. Eddie hangs his head so he can watch you jerk him slowly through his boxers. It's hot and hard in your palm and you're sure to rub your thumb over the mushroom head, pleased to feel a little bit of sticky precum bleed through the cloth.

This is absolutely not what you'd assumed would happen when you agreed to spontaneously go on this first date earlier today. You'd guessed you would, at best, enjoy some good conversation and company. You hadn't anticipated agreeing to go back to his place after just a few drinks, but holy fuck are you glad that's the direction the night took.

It's not long before Eddie's hand drops over the back of yours, stopping your motion over his member.

"Baby...you're killing me. We might need to stop," he grunts. Contrary to his words, his hand continues to guide yours up and down his cock, making you laugh. Eddie's eyes flash up to yours in amusement.

"What's so funny?" he asks. You shake your head but keep laughing, so Eddie takes the opportunity to push you onto your back again. His hand cups between your legs, fingers pressing over where your clit should be. You lift your hips to seek out more friction, though you know it's a useless pursuit with how snug and thick your stockings are.

"Right there?" Eddie asks, pressing more pointedly. Your roll your hips, impatient.

"Yeah...under layers," you joke. His hand worms into the tight control panel waistband of your stockings so he can play with the top of your panties.

"You know," he says casually, as if his hand isn't between your legs making you melt. "I could go down on you."

You blink up at him.

"Huh?"

"I could go down on you," Eddie repeats, leaning down over you to kiss your neck. "If you want."

When you don't reply, Eddie pulls back to gauge your reaction. It spurs you to speak up.

"Nobody's ever done that before," you say quietly. Eddie continues to swirl his finger over the top of your panties, but the movement is gentle.

"Really?" he asks, voice colored with disbelief. You shrug and try not to show that you're embarrassed by the inexperience you're projecting. Eddie's having none of it. "I'd go down on you, baby."

You surge up then at his words and pull him into another deep kiss. It's all tongue and teeth with your hands in his hair, tugging hard. Eddie's hand pulls out of the waistband of your stockings so he can grip and grab at you wildly in response.

You do it so that it can distract him from the offer he was making. Because there's nothing you wanted more than to let him rip your stockings off your body and put that talented tongue to use at your apex. But you had promised yourself that - even if you were going to hook up pretty intensely - you weren't going to have sex on this first date.

Eddie finally pulls back to let you breathe, which you do with a gasp, and he rests his sweaty forehead to yours.

"Probably better not. If I go down on you...I'm pretty sure we'll end up fucking."

He says it with a smug grin on his face. Pure confidence that makes you laugh and want to contradict him, but you absolutely know the man is correct.

"Yeah, I guess that's right."

Eddie sits back up to give you room to do the same. You both sit facing the long dark television to catch your breath. Out of the corner of your eye you notice Eddie has his hand on his still hard dick, stroking softly. He catches you looking and shoots you a grin.

"Sorry, I'm so fucking tuned on." He's saying sorry but his thighs are manspread performatively and it's very clear he likes you watching him. Just as much as he likes watching your breasts bounce as you laugh and lean forward to kiss the tattoo on his pec. You rest your head against his shoulder so you can watch him touch himself for another few minutes before you sigh.

"I think I have to leave before I end up doing what I really want to do."

Eddie groans and stills his hand, moving it up instead to cradle your jaw, turning you towards him for one more lingering kiss.

"Let me call you a cab," he says against your lips and you nod.

While you run to the bathroom to adjust your dress and make sure it doesn't look like you'd just dry humped Eddie Munson for an hour, the man in question puts his jeans back on. You walk out to find him adjust his still hard cock in the confines of the garment, wincing.

"Alright there, champ?" you ask him with a grin. The cab honks its arrival out front.

"I will be jerking off the minute you leave, just know," he says matter-of-factly as he leads you out the door. "I don't know if girls need to do that, but I'm pretty much gonna die if I can't cum after all that."

He says it good-naturedly and for once in all of your dating life, you don't feel pressured or shamed. Just extremely flattered to have this kind of effect on him.

At the bottom of his front step you turn and place a hand on the side of his neck and pull him down closer to you.

"I don't need to make myself cum. But I'm definitely going to," you whisper into his ear before running off to the cab, sparing him one cheeky look over your shoulder so you can bask in his dumbfounded expression.

~*~

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Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know if you did!

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[magpie-trinkets]

unexpected encounter at the movie premiere

Transcript of the conversation below:

Edgeworth: What are you doing here, Franziska?

Franziska: The same as you, you fool.

Edgeworth: I didn't know you liked the Steel Samurai.

Franziska: I don't. I have memorised the fan-wiki for this date.

Edgeworth: Oh? Going for the perfect date, I see.

Franziska: Of course. What about you and Phoenix Wright? Did you drag him here?

Edgeworth: He came willingly- and he has media literacy, although he tries to hide it.

Franziska: Hmph. Then, wanna test how prepared we both came for this movie? Did you do your homework, Miles Edgeworth?

Edgeworth: That's hilarious. Unlike yourself, I have actually watched every episode and have followed the series since its debut.

Franziska: You won't win against me, Miles Edgeworth. I checked my sources and discussed motifs in anonymous forums. My knowledge is perfect.

Edgeworth: Nothing beats first-hand experience, but I'll humor you. Prepare to lose, Franziska.

Both: Bring it.

[happyheidi]

date idea; you and me in a immersive monet exhibition

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[charlottetrans]

Reblog and inbox me if you want a hard cock from a trans girl 💖🍆🍆

[thedatingproject]

Date #0 - Steve

He was my very first date in at least 2-3 years. His Tinder profile was hilarious. He had done this cute thing about how different people in his life would rate him as a person - including his mom, best friend and dog. He's a good looking dude but the pictures on his dating profile made him seem very average looking. I swear. The pictures did not do him justice. He be HOT as hell. But I didn't know that at the time. I swiped right 'cause he was funny.

We kept talking because he was smart. Like crazy smart. By that I mean selling his first project to NASA kind of smart. And we could talk about a lot of stuff. Especially anime and our fitness goals. Any person who would watch "Bleach" based on my recommendation is a solid keeper in my books. And I loved the anime he recommended to me - "Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood". He owns a lightsaber and a set of samurai type swords.

I wanted this guy to be my friend. So bad.

Why just friends? He is planning to migrate. I am not. Migration isn't an option to me for at least the next 5 years. I gave my entire 20s to the toughest years of my business. Now that it is actually making crazy profits and flourishing despite the economic crisis in the country, I am not ready to leave it behind before I make it into something I always envisioned it could be. If not, what I endured wouldn't even be worth it.

Would I be into him if the migration thing wasn't a factor? I really don't know. Theoretically, I could be. There are a lot of things that don't align up with us but that being said, they are also things we could communicate and come to an understanding. However, I will never open up emotionally to something that isn't realistically a possibility. So honestly, I don't even think about him like that.

He's a good guy. A good friend. An INTJ, so easy to get along with because my brothers are ENTJ and INTJ.

And I am an INFJ. My guards are way up high, and my standards even higher. I want to be loved. I want to be chosen because whoever I open up to cannot imagine not getting to share his life with me. I don't see myself ever just "falling" in love. I choose to allow myself to fall in love.

Anyway...Steve is an anomaly. I will tell you why in a bit. For now, let's adhere to the chronological order.

We continued to talk. After asking a mutual friend if Steve is an axe murderer, we met up for a pizza lunch date.

I appreciated his effort. He was on time. He traveled towards me in a fuel crisis in an Uber. He paid though I offered to split, with the logic that as women, she doesn't know what we are getting into on a first date so the least the guy can do is pay for it so she gets a good meal out of it even if the date was bad. He chose to drop me home despite my protests. He even went with me to the supermarket because I wanted to find my favorite chili and garlic sauce. Then after walking me home, he took a bus/cab back to his place. Like I said, very good guy.

It was my first date in years. I was so nervous. Not because I liked him, but because I was so self-obsessed about how I came across as a date to him. So to be honest, I didn't even notice how attractive he was. My brain wasn't processing. Anything.

We kept talking afterwards. Conversation flowed easy because there were not expectations or restrictions. I respected him, and I feel he respected me. I friendzoned him in my head.

I wasn't looking for a hook-up, and that was the only thing he was open to.

Then along the way, somehow in someway, the conversation about kinks came up. The discovery that we share most of the kinks and we might be compatible that way made me rethink things. A lot.

Then we planned a night of clubbing as I hadn't really experienced it at all and I wanted to do it at least once before I turned 30. But then I chickened out last minute because I wasn't sure if I knew him well enough to have a good time with him drunk. I didn't want to be a nuisance to anyone...or someone who brought the other person's vibe down. So we settled on dinner.

The plan was for me to show up at his place early, have some drinks, and we would order in. But then my overthinking brain thought this is just my second time meeting him. What if our texting vibe is a fluke and I don't actually enjoy his presence? I'll be stuck at his place. Awkwardly.

So I suggested that maybe we could go out for dinner. As an escape plan.

But...in my head, if the vibe was right, I had already planned to jump his bones. I trusted him. I had a good feeling about him. He is hot. He is smart so I won't be bored. And our kinks matched up. That theory is true. I, as the woman, made the decision. Dressed in matching lacy lingerie, fully waxed limbs...I was open to it.

The reason Steve is the anomaly is that I have never in my life been just physically attracted to another person this intensely without an emotional component. With Steve though, it was different. He opened the door and I wanted to jump him.

So I said I was okay with ordering in, we ordered sushi, and right after I was like "Do you wanna makeout?"

I'm pretty sure he was a little taken by surprise. I'll confirm once I ask him.

I don't know about him but for me at least, the sex is intense. In the best way. Fun too because we can communicate openly and focus on pleasing each other. No ego. No expectations. He is very experienced and I'm grateful for it. He is also very much a giver which I imagine is always good for the woman. I love how he mentally kinda takes notes about my preferences and feedback and the next time is even better.

Every time we cuddle afterwards, though it is very nice, I keep thinking "Oh no, oxytocin must be rising" but I am keeping my head and going with the flow here. The objective is to maximize pleasure, for both of us. And let me tell you, I am very, very pleased. Most of the time, this man helps me transcend to a different plane of existence.

I've literally only slept with 2 people before Steve. The first time doesn't even count because it wasn't really consensual (let's not talk about it in depth. I did the healing. I did the work. I am okay!). The second was my narcissistic ex who treated sex kind of like a chore and may have turned me off all men for a while.

So this experience with Steve is nice. It's educational. It allows me to explore in a safe environment. It's inspired me to tap into a more feminine side of me and I love that.

I am not hooking up with anyone else at the time. Simply because I haven't met anyone who meets my criteria. I don't want to sign up for a subpar mediocre experience. No, thank you. Steve is hooking up with others and I kinda get to live vicariously through his experiences. That's exciting too!

But yes. I get why Harvey thought Steve might be a concern.

I am very much sexually satisfied that my drive to want to be attracted to others the same way is less. I can observe it logically. That being said, I am not done exploring yet either.

Hooking up with Steve is a very temporary thing. Maybe a few months at best. I know myself. If I am not emotionally into someone, no matter how hot they are and how sexually compatible we are, the attraction won't last. And if by some miraculous anomaly I end up catching feels for Steve, I am hightailing the hell out of here.

So I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.

Lets see how things go.

[xxcherrycherixx]

cupid's gals meet

[phyriaxi]

Oooh requests!! I would love to see you do my girl Myrrh :3

Myrrh!

[ thank you for the request! ]

[humbuns]

pretty in yellow

[redysetdare]

Oh so when repulsed ppl or non-partnering ppl bring up their experiences it's suddenly "not all aros/aces! Don't generalize the community!" But a choir of assholes crying out "Aros and aces can still date!" In response to ppl pointing out the erasure of those who don't is not generalizing and totally fine? Yeah, uh huh ok.