#dc textpost

[allthegothihopgirls]

[asteriaroot]

Damian, in battle with a new Villain: I was trained by an ELITE group of assassins from birth, I have been prepared all my life for ANY combat situation and I could take you down with ease if so be it. I am unfeeling, unruly. I have NO weakness you could exploit-

Then Damian three hours later, when Alfred the cat ran to Tim instead of him (he had food) and then proceeds to have a hour mini silent break down while trying to lure Alfred the cat into his arms with little intricately made cat food dishes at about midnight, with the help of jon: Why won't you love me? What have I done? Did I leave your bowl empty for too long? Is this the crazy ones fault? It must be the crazy ones fault.

[begaycommittreason]

steph, holding a newspaper from the red robin 2009 run: tam’s engaged to a gay man.

dick: as a gay man i’m horrified. as a brother of tim’s, horrified

steph: as an ex and victim of tim and his atrocious capacity for relationships, i’m horrified.

dick: as a lover of elegant weddings however, i’m a little excited

steph: but overall, horrified

[xghostfaceboyx]

Inspired by a post I saw on Pinterest and a PandaRedd video, I give you Jason and Damien being themselves

[violent138]

Damian: "Red Hood has a pretty severe concussion. What do I do?"

Tim: "Extraction's still ten minutes out, just keep him talking."

Damian, urgently pressing the comm: "I don't want to talk to him, he's even more insufferable than usual."

Jason, lying on the ground, eyes closed: "That's funny Junior, because head trauma's the only thing that makes you bearable."

Damian, to Tim: "I'm leaving. It won't be the first time we've had a closed casket."

Tim, groaning disgustedly: "Robin--ugh, seriously, just stay there and keep him awake."

Damian, seething even more when he sees Jason's smirk: "Fine."

Jason, cracking open one eye: "Aww, are you concerned about me?"

Damian: "Shut up. The only thing I'm concerned about is our family's reputation after your public wipeout on that stupid motorcycle."

Jason:

Damian: "Are you still awake?" *kicks him* "Todd?"

Jason, grinning: "You said our family."

Damian, furious: "I didn't. You've lost more brain cells than you could afford."

Jason: "Wait 'till Tim hears, I think he'll want a group hug. Bruce is probably going to get emotionally constipated. Dickie would probably cry--"

Damian, panicking as he hears the Batmobile get closer: "Stop. Do not tell him--"

Jason: "You better erase every single fucking video of me crashing then."

Damian: "You have a deal."

[pokeberry5]

inspired by those textposts about dick rocking up to the rest of titans with tim for the first time and kori et al. being like: is that the stalker kid???

bonus:

warm ups:

[justmiraculousconspiracies]

Agreed?

[happygirl2oo2]

[ungodlybliss]

textposts i made ft rose, jason, eddie, joey and slade

[asteriaroot]

The fact that canonly (before reboot) Bruce made Jason dye his ginger/red hair black just to look more like dick makes me CRYY

like yeah it's halfly so people don't think robins Gone, but there's so much more there if you look into it 😭 Bruce CLEARLY has always favriouted dick Grayson and was trying to change Jason to be like him. Which defiently didn't help with Jason's issues

[begaycommittreason]

it will forever be hilarious to me that tim is Gun Batman and not jason

bc like all plot and trauma aside imagine how fucking pissed off jason would be

random time traveling villain: ah yes, the batman who kills, it’s good to finally meet you

jason: oh? i didn’t realize i’d be famous in the future, so you want an autograph—

tim: for the love of god, you become a gun wielding murderer once and suddenly no one lets you forget it.

tim: can’t i get a new thing now, like the tech robin, or the skateboard robin? hell i’d even take the spleenless wonder

jason, slightly offended and very confused: excuse me?

kon: …we don’t like talking about it

[frownyalfred]

some Wayne Enterprises Exec: you need to be sitting in your cubicle 8 hours a day minimum to prove your devotion to this company. do you think the CEO would like you slacking off?

Bruce Wayne, walking into the offices viciously hungover at 3:30pm with iced coffee and only one of his loafers: oh hey you’re all still here? go home, it’s almost 4

[violent138]

Brucie Wayne, during an interview the publicist forced him and his family to give: "I adopted Dick from the circus the night we met, Jason--"

"I was kidnapped from the Narrows," Jason interjected.

Bruce, undeterred, beaming. "-- Tim's technically the neighbour's kid, Stephanie--"

"I'm sort of just staying here." Stephanie crossed her arms.

"--Damian's mom--"

"--randomly returned him and we're all just enjoying this little blessing," Tim says with a large grin, ruffling Damian's hair.

Dick plasters on an even faker smile, gripping Damian's hand before the kid can reach for a knife.

"-- Cass is just a little angel who Barbara introduced me to. And I adopted Duke after his parents became unwell."

Interviewer: ...

[the-feral-gremlin]

[voidiscreamingatyou]

these are all compressed and mid but i already made them

[almost-correct-quotes]

alternatively, texas or pennsylvania and concon for "fucked-up families"