#did i write this at 4 am because i couldn't sleep??? maybe | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mingigoo · 11 months

Note

hi sie!! i'm happy to see that your requests are open and would like to request something myself c: 1. seonghwa 2. roommate au 3. prompts 11 and 17 4. with spice please 🙏 thanks so much! i rly appreciate you and your writing even if you can't get to this 💕

I hope you like this!!! really enjoyed writing this one :)

— sleep-talker || p.sh (m.)

“You know you sleep talk?”

“Stop looking at me like that.

🌊pairing ⇢ (fem) reader x roommate! Seonghwa

🌊 summary ⇢ when you and your friends decide on a trip to the beach for spring break, you get stuck rooming with the man you "hate" the most. The line between love and hate is as thin as ice, and you were about to break it.

🌊 genre/au ⇢ roommates au, vacation au, one bed trope, forced proximity au, smut

🌊 warnings/tags ⇢ 18+ minors DNI, wet dreams, fingering, rough sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, PDA, "enemies" to lovers, one-bed trope, teasing, jealousy, intense tension like holy hell

🌊 word count ⇢ 10.2k words

🌊 taglist ⇢ @jjhmk @yesv01 @roe-sinning @meowmeowminnie @yeritheloml @yukine-smx @y00nzin0 @8tinytings @halesandy @shegotboreddsoo @kangyeosangelic @sanshineeeeee @kodzukein @hwaightme @likexaxdaydream @ssaboala @gtr-skyline-lover @wooyoungjpg @lonewolfjinji @asjkdk @charreddonuts (please let me know if I forgot you!)

masterlist

ateez masterlist

“Are you for real right now?”

Spring break. A time for rest, relaxation, and lots and lots of sex.

And now, your plans of being a whore for the vacation were ruined.

“Yes, y/n. I can't afford another room just for you to have to yourself,” Hongjoong, your older brother, mumbled as he stuffed the last bit of clothes into his luggage. “You’ll have to room with Seonghwa. San and Wooyoung already called each other.”

He zipped up his suitcase and stood up to leave, but he couldn't get off that easily. “Please, Joong. I’ll do anything. Cant I just room with you and Mingi?” he hastily made his way out of his room and into the living room, trying his hardest to get away from you. “I’ll sleep on the floor. No blanket, just the floor. Please.”

He turned to face you, a confused expression on his face. “Why are you so adamant about not staying with Hwa? What did he ever do to you?” he asked you, genuinely curious. The truth is, he did nothing to you personally. Maybe that was why you hated him, because god, if he gave you the time of day, you would pounce on him like a cat in heat.

You groaned, running a hand through your messy, unwashed hair. “Because he’s a dumb ass jerk that gets everything he wants.”

Hongjoong laughed at you and turned away. “It's only a week, y/n. He’ll probably spend most of his time in our room, anyway. Just bring a book to read or something to distract yourself.”

As if reading is the thing you'll be focused on if you were in a room with him. Oh Nah, you'll be wishing he’d walk around shirtless and hoping he somehow takes a shower and walks out with nothing on—

“I hope you're packed and ready….” Joong trailed off as he looked at your messy exterior, and stifled a laugh. “And if you're thinking of getting laid, you might want to shower.”

You slapped him on the shoulder, having no drive to shower. You'll get one when you get there. It's not like you were that stinky.

“Shut up, dickhead.”

You stood on the sidewalk of your apartment building, Hongjoong’s little yellow Geo Tracker sitting there lookin’ all cute. However, the tiny thing only had five seats.

There were six of you.

“Welp looks like I can't go! What a shame, what a shame,” you sarcastically yelled out, tossing your hands in the air exasperatedly. “Have fun without me!”

“Shut your mouth, will you?” Hongjoong groaned, tossing your luggage into the “trunk” or whatever it was. “It's only a ride to the airport. You can sit on someone’s lap for ten minutes.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Why am I the one that has to do that? Wooyoung is like the size of my arm. He can do it.”

Joong shut the trunk with force at your comment, totally disregarding you. “Hop in,” he said. “Enjoy shotgun while you have the chance.”

You got in reluctantly, even though you were very excited about the beach itself. Your excitement was short-lived as you approached the devil’s lair.

“Stay here, I’ll go help them,” Hongjoong mumbled, pushing his sunglasses up on his forehead as he put the car in park.

You nodded, your arms crossed over your chest. You didn't mind the rest of the group— San and Wooyoung always knew how to make you laugh, and Mingi was absolutely eye candy. You wouldn't mind sitting on his lap on the way to the airport.

Just as you got comfortable with your head resting against the window, the door abruptly opened, causing you to nearly fall out of the vehicle. “For fuck’s sake, who the hell—” your words got caught in your throat as you met eyes with Park fucking Seonghwa. “Oh, it's you…”

He stood there, his thin torso draped in a sheer white top and his long, lean legs covered in a pair of black pants. You swallowed your drool like a schoolgirl, making sure he never knows how you think of him.

“What?” you raised your eyebrow, not moving an inch and not even reaching to unplug your seatbelt. “This seat’s taken, buddy.”

He snickered, his lips mockingly curled up in a sneer. “Oh, aren't you a sweetheart? Now move, I called shotgun.”

“Well, I did first.”

“No, you didn't.”

“Yes, I did.”

“No.”

“Yes—”

“Neither of you are getting shotgun,” your brother laughed from behind Seonghwa, San and Wooyoung giggling like the goofs they are next to him. You still didn't move, even as Joong approached and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. “Y/N, please help me out here.”

You debated on throwing a fit, but knowing that it would just cause more problems, you sighed and pushed yourself out of the front seat. Now standing on the curb of the sidewalk right in front of Seonghwa, you tilted your head up to look him in the eyes. His gaze was intense—it made you envision what it would be like in bed, looking down at him from above, and how his eyebrows would knit together in pleasure. God, you needed to get laid this vacation, or you were going to be suffering from delusions.

Without warning, Mingi pushed through both of you, interrupting your staring contest.

“We better go, I don't want to listen to their bickering any longer,” the tall boy huffed as he plopped himself in the front seat, a proud smile resting on his lips.

San sat in the backseat on the right, Wooyoung next to him in the middle. That left either you or seonghwa to fight to the death for that last seat, but you knew how this was going to end.

And it wasn't going to end well.

—

“You comfortable, y/n?” your brother called from the driver’s seat, looking back at you through the rearview mirror.

You frowned so deeply you could've sworn your face was permanently stuck like that.

There you were, in the back of the car, in the most uncomfortable seat ever. Seonghwa groaned underneath you, his bony body not offering you any wiggle room. You didn't answer your brother, you were certain your expression was enough of a response.

You adjusted yourself on Seonghwa’s lap, looking out the window for any distraction. As you moved, you felt him move his hips, and you had to shut away your filthy thoughts about him as soon as they came. Between his movements and his groans, your stomach was knotting in something more than butterflies.

The car was filled with conversation, however, you and Seonghwa remained quiet and in your own little worlds. As the others bantered, you pushed yourself up further on his lap, grimacing as you heard him let out a grunt in your ear.

And then when his hands gripped onto your bare thighs, you were the one to gasp.

“Stop moving,” he whispered in your ear with haste, almost like a sneer. You kept your vision forward as his breath danced in your ear. “It hurts.”

You swallowed hard. “Oh? Is your little dick that sensitive?” you whispered back, smirking. You moved again, this time on purpose, feeling his bulge through his pants. You kept your cool, ignoring his shaky breaths from behind you. “Are you that happy to see me, Hwa?”

“Shut your mouth or you won’t see the sunrise,” he hissed, but his voice was weak.

The ten-minute ride felt like an eternity as he breathed underneath you, your mind constantly thinking about how hard he was getting underneath you and how sweet it would be to turn around and face him to see his reaction to you.

You looked to your right, seeing Wooyoung with a knowing smile on his face. “What?” you asked him, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged, grinning. “Nothing, nothing,” he said, letting out a giggle. “Just that you both seem…cozy.”

You slapped him on the shoulder, your movements causing Seonghwa to wiggle underneath you.

“Dammit, Y/N I told you to stop moving,” he seethed, his grip on your thigh tightening. Hongjoong looked back through the mirror, worry in his expression.

“Everything okay?” he asked, meeting your eyes before focusing on the road once again. “We’re almost there, only about a minute or two.”

“Ten-minute ride my ass,” you mumbled, and as you entered the Airport, you should've known that there were going to be speed bumps on the way in….

The shitty old car hopped over the bump, feeling like it hit a huge boulder. You bounced up, not held by any seatbelt, landing hard, right on Seonghwa’s family jewels.

“Fuck,” he cried, tossing his head back against the headrest. Your hands were now holding onto his legs for dear life.

“Joong, will you slow down for those things? Some of us are suffering back here,” you said, to which seonghwa started laughing.

“You're telling me.” he scoffed.

“Okay okay, I just have to park. I have no idea how this works….where the hell is the long-term parking—”

“Probably over there,” Mingi pointed in the opposite direction.

“No, no, I think it’s—”

“I can't take this anymore!” you cried out, leaning forward to assist Hongjoong since Mingi isn't helping. “There's a huge sign in front of us. How can you miss that? It spells it out, dammit.” you huffed, throwing yourself back into your “seat.” This time, he didn't let out a single groan, probably just as fed up with you as you were with him.

Finally, Hongjoong found the lot and parked the car, and as soon as it was stationary, you tossed yourself out of the vehicle like there was no tomorrow. You knew that you couldn't last a minute more on his lap, because if you did, you would be so tempted to turn around and make out with those painfully pretty lips of his. God, he made you so mad. Ever since you met him, there were only the same thoughts circulating round and round.

Dirty thoughts.

Seonghwa crawled out of the car like a decrepit old spider, his long legs holding up his body with grace. You bit your lip, looking down at where you were sitting on him. Quickly, you looked away as he noticed your gaze, and ran away to go help the others with the luggage.

You weren't quick enough to miss the achingly attractive smirk on Seonghwa’s face.

Why did he have to be so….. libidinous? He was like a wild animal, able to take the lives away of his prey with just an expression.

No more seonghwa on the brain—it was beach time. You were certain you could find someone at a bar to sleep with later, and it wouldn't be Hwa.

Not now, not ever.

—

You got lucky with the plane ride.

Your seat buddy was Mingi, and Hongjoong knew how much you like your window seats.

Mingi nearly slept the whole flight, his head rested against your shoulder. He snored a little, but it didn't matter. The gentle giant had a place in your heart, so he could do no wrong.

You often stole glances at Seonghwa across the aisle, his head bobbing up and down as he fought his tiredness. He was so much more likable when he was sleeping, but that was definitely due to the fact that he couldn't stare at you with those entrancing eyes or run that mouth of his.

You were the only one awake by the end of the flight. It was difficult for you to sleep in public places. It didn't feel right. So you would fight off sleep as hard as you could and distract yourself with anything around you.

After the fiasco of leaving the plane, you anxiously trailed behind Hongjoong through the busy airport, pushing past loads of people who had places to be. Thank goodness you were able to leave the airport without a fuss, even if seonghwa was nearly breathing down your neck as you exited.

Luckily, the ride to the hotel wasn't far—and there were more than enough seats for all of you. You distanced yourself from Seonghwa, ignoring his hellish gaze.

The hotel you were staying at stood tall, facing the gorgeous blue ocean for a perfect view. You shut your eyes as you took everything in, smelling the saltiness and the warmth of the air. You smiled to yourself, but your delightful moment didn't last long.

Seonghwa bumped into you purposely, digging his shoulder into yours before walking past you toward the hotel entrance. “Hey, what was that for?” you growled, a scowl on your face.

“You were in the way,” is all he said, not even bothering to turn to face you as he spoke. He continued walking, his beautiful silhouette showing through his sheer shirt. Oh, you wanted to tear it off of him so badly.

You let out a huff of air, but then followed your friends into the building, knowing the end was near if you had to share the room with your snack of choice.

Hongjoong went up to the front desk as you and the boys stood near the doorway, waiting for him to check us in. It didn't take him long, and soon enough, he was walking back over, key cards in his hand, and a bright smile on his face. “All checked in! This’ll be our home for the next week.”

San grabbed his key card first. “Are we all on the same floor? Like in a row? It would be no fun if I had to actually put on clothes to go on the elevator.”

“Yes, San, we’re all on the same floor.” Hongjoong held in his laugh, already clearly enjoying his time away from reality. You stood angrily with your arms across your chest next to seonghwa, who didn't look any happier than you. “And will you two brighten up? You’re killing the vibe.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing up at the boy next to you. His dark hair was slightly frizzy from the humidity, sticking to his forehead like it would if he were sweating. You gulped, thinking dirty thoughts once more before regaining your peace of mind. “I’m not doing anything. It’s all him.”

“No, it’s all you, not me.” he retaliated.

“You’re the one that got a hard-on from me just innocently sitting on your lap.”

“You were purposely shoving your ass on me like a freak—”

“You are ruining the vacation already—”

“Annnd we’re not doing this again,” Mingi sighed and then gripped onto your arm to pull you towards the elevator.

“Let’s go, we got bars to get wrecked at.”

—

“Oh, hell no.”

You dropped your luggage as you entered your room for the week, staring at what was in it.

Or lack thereof.

One bed—a queen, maybe, sat in the middle of the room. A chair was tilted by the sliding glass doors that opened to the balcony, and a lamp stood in the corner. It was cute, of course, but you thought this couldn't get any worse.

Seonghwa walked past you into the room, setting his suitcase on the floor by the chair. “Don't worry,” he hummed, his voice low. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I–” you paused, taking in a breath before continuing. “You can sleep on the bed, I ain't that mean.”

“So you think I’m going to let my best friend’s sister sleep on the floor?” he laughed, but it wasn't out of humor. “That’s funny. I’d get my ass beat.” He sat down on the floor, stretching out his long legs before opening his suitcase. “Just forget about me like you usually do and take the bed.”

You had no snarky remarks to throw at him this time, your eyelids feeling heavier than ever. You sighed, sitting down on the bed with a thud. “Okay, fine. Wake me up when we are going to leave.”

“Yeah yeah,” he snarkily replied, too focused on his luggage in front of him. You shut your eyes slowly, holding on to your consciousness a little longer, before drifting off into a sleep that would cause an unexpected uproar a few hours later.

—

After your amazing nap, you and the boys found your way to a beach bar, sand filling the floor and loud music playing in the background. You took your rightful spot at the bar, sitting right next to Wooyoung, who was already chugging a fruity margarita.

“You should try this, Y/N,” he let out a satisfied sigh after he finished his gulp. “Tastes like fucking unicorns and rainbows.”

You laughed. “Sounds divine, but I’ll pass and get my whiskey sour.”

He grimaced. “Ew, you should spruce it up a little bit sometimes.”

San sat down on the other side of him, a fancy glass in his hands as well. “Yeah, you’re kind of a bore.”

“San what the—”

“She is, isn't she?” Seonghwa hummed from behind you, and of course, sat his ass in the chair right next to you. You groaned, ignoring him once again, although it was quite hard to not drool as he gulped his beer, his throat bobbing as he drank it.

Fucking hell.

You looked around for any sign of your brother to save you, and once you saw him, you cringed, turning right back around to face the bar. “Dear god, can't he keep his dick in his pants for five minutes?” you shivered, trying to think of anything else other than your brother making out with a random person.

Seonghwa looked back, a smirk on his face as you ordered your drink. “Hypocrite. Just last week I walked in on you with Mingi in the chem lab,” he snickered, his midnight eyes catching the neon lights behind the bar. “Your tongue was so far down his throat I swear I—”

“Says the guy who I caught watching porn freshman year in the computer lab—”

“Here’s your Whiskey sour,” the bartender awkwardly interrupted, but thank god he did. You quickly chugged it, finishing it within a minute of getting it. He gave you another right away, and you downed that one as quickly as it came. He was cute, a little on the scruffy side, but definitely a good one-night. You gave him a look, feeling accomplished as he smirked a little before serving someone else.

“Maybe you shouldn't drink so fast, y/n,” San murmured from Wooyoung’s side, his strong arms holding his weight against the table. “You get drunk really quick on an empty stomach. Remember what happened last time? You have a bad habit of trying to kiss everything you see.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, setting the empty glass down on the bar. As you did that, you felt the warmth of the alcohol fill your body. “What? Who did I kiss?”

Seonghwa laughed from the other side of you while you focused on San.

“Me.” San blinked. “Tongue and all. But not just me, you kissed the statue outside our campus. You know, that really rusty one?”

You gagged. “Ew, no. stop. No, I didn't.”

“Oh, yes you did,” Seongwha piped in, sipping on his third or fourth beer. “And then you threw up on my shoes when I brought you home.”

You let out an exaggerated sigh of relief, taking his beer right out of his hands. “Phew, thank god I didn't kiss you,” you shivered, bringing the bottle up to your lips. After you started chugging it a little bit, Hwa ripped the bottle away from you.

You felt your vision start to sway from the alcohol. You loved the feeling of being drunk—just hated the hangovers. Right now though, you wanted to get wasted and go home with a stranger. The hangover will be tomorrow’s problem.

But seonghwa had to just run his mouth once again.

“You know you talk in your sleep, right?” He laughed, a full, humorous laugh. He tossed the bottle to the back of his throat and then continued to laugh at you. “Something about how awful the airplane food was and how drinking milk reminds you of cum.” he grimaced at the last part, but a playful smile still rested on his face. “God you are explicit.”

Your cheeks flushed, looking anywhere but his direction. “I do not sleeptalk.”

You looked to Wooyoung and San for help, but they looked dumbfounded. “I wouldn't know, y/n, I never slept with you,” San smirked, smiling deviously at you. “Unless you’re down with that, I’m all for hearing you sleeptalk in my ear all night.”

“Yeah, me too,” Woo played along, knowing he was just doing it to tease you. Seonghwa, on the other hand, was trying desperately to embarrass you in front of the hot bartender.

“God, it’s so annoying, I wanted to rip my hair out earlier,” he smiled devilishly, his teeth even brighter than normal under all the neon lights. “I thought I couldn't hate you more, but you proved me wrong.”

You looked straight ahead, ignoring Seonghwa’s goofy smile. “Whatever,” you huffed, resting your face on your hand, your elbow holding up the weight. You watched the sexy bartender notice your stare. He smiled and walked over to you.

“Need another sour?” he asked, his cheeks pinched with dimples. You had your eyes set on going home with him, and you were going to follow through with it. Seonghwa can stay outside for the night—or watch, it didn't matter to you.

“Actually,” you pondered, blinking slowly as the alcohol hit your system even harder. “I’ll take a vodka and Sprite. Grey Goose.” you hummed, watching him nod with a smirk on his face.

Seonghwa chuckled, but you were too focused on your mission to hear him blab about how much he hated you over and over again. Soon enough, that damn grey goose hit you harder than anything. Your eyes fluttered after your second glass, your vision fuzzy, and your heartbeat racing.

You let out a heavy sigh, unable to remember your original mission.

“Hey,” you coughed, your cheeks burning up from the toxin. You looked around the bar, only meeting Seonghwa’s eyes…..oh…they’re so pretty. “Where did everyone else go?”

He was facing you, looking at you through those sparkling irises of his. He took in a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, your brother left with that girl he was making out with earlier….San and Woo left not too long ago to go to another bar, and Mingi….” he paused, watching your expression change when mingi was mentioned. “Mingi went with them.”

“Ah,” you nodded. “Why’d you stop at mingi like that?”

He furrowed his brows. “Why’d you look like that when I mentioned him?”

You sniffled, feeling a burning sensation in your throat from all the vodka. “What do you mean?” you were too messed up to defend yourself. You didn't even know your expression changed.

“You looked…different when I said his name.”

You couldn't help but laugh at his dreary tone. “Pfft. Hwa, do you think that just because I slept with him once that I have feelings for him?”

He frowned, his eyebrows knit with confusion. “You slept with him? Mingi?”

You shrugged. “Yeah. Just once, though.” Oh god, you officially couldn't think straight. Why were you even telling him this? “But that was it.”

He looked at you with an unknown expression, flattening his lips. “So you just sleep with anyone, huh?”

You scoffed. “Well, no, not usually.” you bit your lip, looking at him without knowing how you were looking at him. “I kind of always wanted you, but I didn’t understand why, so I ignore the feeling by sleeping with other guys.”

“That makes no sense, y/n,” he spat. “What are you saying?”

You rolled your eyes, drunkenly gripping his broad shoulders, shaking him slightly. “Awh, shut it, Hwa. Haven't you ever felt that before?” you paused, not realizing how close you were. His eyes were sharp, and his lips parted. “Wanting someone you can't have? Knowing that they wouldn't want anything to do with you?”

He swallowed hard, his gaze piercing into you sharply. “You’re drunk, y/n,” he paused, looking at you intently before shaking your hands away. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

“Oooh, don't tempt me, baby,” you poked his chest, giggling as he stood up off the barstool. You were completely oblivious to the fact that you just admitted to wanting him, but it didn't seem like he took it seriously.

“Get up,” he huffed, gripping under your arms and lifting you off your chair. You groaned, wrapping your arms around his waist. You held onto him tightly as he reached into his back pocket to grab money, tossing it onto the counter with a glare at the bartender.

“Enjoy your night,” Seonghwa growled, holding onto you, and made his way towards the hotel with you clung to him.

“Seonghwa,” you whispered, a giggle under your breath.

He grunted, pulling you along with him. “What?”

You sniffed. “Can I kiss you?”

He sighed. “No.”

“Why?” you mumbled, shoving your face into his chest.

“Because it’s your drunk habit.”

“So would you kiss me if it wasn't?” you asked, completely obliterated. There was no way you were going to remember this in the morning.

He didn't answer you.

“Come on, Hwa,” you moaned, stopping and gripping onto his collar in front of the hotel. You looked up into his eyes, feeling his intense gaze cut right through your intoxication. You needed him. Needed him bad. “Just once. God, just once.”

“I…” he swallowed, his hands twitching at his sides, crying out to touch you. He kept them away, even if he didn't want to. “Not now. Not while you’re drunk.”

You blinked slowly, watching his lips flatten into a frown. “Does that mean you want to?”

He sighed, running his hands through his hair aggressively. “Please just….let’s get back to the room and get you to bed.”

You groaned, but complied, following him into the hotel and into the elevator. The ride was silent, Seonghwa standing in the corner, farthest away from you, his breathing slowed. You stared at him, leaning up against the wall.

“I really hate you,” you mumbled, glaring at him. He was too sexy, his hair messy, his eyes dark, his long legs taller than a skyscraper. You only admitted your attraction to him when you were drunk, but you couldn't deny the pull you had to him.

He looked up at you, his starry eyes looking from your legs, up to your hips, over your breasts, and finally to your eyes. He took in a sharp breath, biting the corner of his lip.

“I hate you too,” he whispered, his vision low.

And in what world would the words I hate you cause someone’s heart to flutter?

The elevator dinged at your floor, and after a moment of longing stares, Seonghwa gripped your arm and dragged you out. He held onto your drunken body as he searched for his keycard, and once he found it, you tumbled into the room together.

Your back was pressed against the wall, his arms caging you in on both sides. His forehead was on yours, and you were able to feel his hot breath against your lips.

“Oh,” you hummed, your hands subconsciously dancing at the hem of his t-shirt. You watched his throat bob anxiously as you looked into his eyes.

It took everything in him to move away. He coughed awkwardly and then nodded toward the bed. “Come on, you need to rest.”

“Mhm,” you murmured, unable to move in a straight line. You kicked off your sandals, and pulled off your shirt with ease, leaving you only in your bra and that skimpy skirt seonghwa was looking at all night.

He watched as you walked, holding his breath without meaning to.

As you neared the bed, you reached back to unclip your bra, but you couldn't reach it. “Hwa?”

He was looking at the floor. “Hm?”

“Can you…” you paused, giving up on trying to get it off. “Take this off of me? It’s really uncomfortable.”

He blinked, his eyes wide. You couldn't see the confusion in his expression, but you heard the shakiness of his tone. “W-what? Your….bra?”

“Yeah.”

He didn't say anything else. He slowly walked over to where you were, and as his fingertips traced the middle of your back, you shivered under his touch.

He unclasped the hook, but held on to both ends of the bra, afraid to let it drop. “It’s done,” he whispered, backing up slightly.

You dropped the bra onto the floor and then reached to take off your skirt. As you slid it down your hips, you heard seonghwa nearly trip over his feet trying to turn away.

“Do you…always sleep naked?” he asked you, looking anywhere but where you were. You were way too drunk to care about what he sees, but you were also too tired to try. You fell onto the bed, your arm covering your breasts and your underwear still on.

“Fuck, y/n,” Seonghwa huffed, finally looking over and doing everything to not look where he shouldn't. He gently reached for the blanket, tossing it over you in one swift motion.

You shut your eyes tight, feeling his presence loom over you. He brushed away the stray hairs on your face and made sure you were laying on your side.

“.... I’m so screwed,” he muttered, giving you one last look before walking into the bathroom and turning on the cold water.

A cold shower, especially knowing that there was a beautiful, nearly naked girl in the bed just outside the door.

The cold water ran down his body, giving him a rush of pain.

“Fuck,” he hissed, biting his lip as his attraction to you only worsened.

—

After his attempt to cleanse his messy thoughts, Seonghwa stepped out of the bathroom, towel hanging low on his hips. He hesitated before looking over at you, and after he got a good look at your pretty face, he made his way to his luggage, rooting in there for a t-shirt to toss on.

“...seong…hwa,” you moaned.

Moaned.

“....y/n?” he whispered, maybe thinking you were awake and needed something. He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but that sounded too….sensual than just a normal tone.

“I…ugh,” you groaned, “don't stop, please. H…Hwa.”

Seonghwa raised his eyebrows, dropping the clothes he had in his hands, eyes wide.

“Seonghwa….”

Okay, that was the third time. You were most definitely dreaming about him….

“Oh…my…god.” Hwa gulped, cautiously standing up and backing away as far as he could from you.

Little did he know how detailed your dream was.

—

His hands snaked up your bare hips, your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were on your ear, biting, teeth clashing against your skin.

He thrusted into you, hard, his hips buckling as he moaned. You cried out his name, back arching, nails scratching. He fucked you hard, his forehead against yours, and his eyes rolled back into his head.

“You like that?” he whispered, his tongue sliding into your mouth before you could answer. His sweat fell on your cheek, and you moaned out his name once more. You weren't sure how you got here, how this came about, or anything. All that mattered was that you were finally with him, the man you always thought you hated.

“…hwa,” you moaned, “fuck me harder.”

And as he slammed into you with even more force than before, his lips crashed onto yours, his black hair blocking your vision. You wanted more, and more and more—

“Y/n,”

“Just shut up and keep going,” you cried out.

“Y/N!”

You shot awake, gasping for air as your back hit the headboard. You breathed heavily, realizing that you were dreaming about all of that and that the real seonghwa was standing in front of you, shirtless, with an expression you weren't quite sure you’d ever seen before.

“Seonghwa, what—”

“S..stop it. Don't say my name,” he stuttered, looking anywhere but your body. He quickly tossed a t-shirt at you—his t-shirt. “Just put this on. The guys are down getting breakfast, so we gotta go.”

He quickly walked to his own luggage and grabbed a shirt for himself. You watched him as he tossed it on and slid on his shoes, and with one last awkward glance at you, he left the room in haste.

You were too scared to look down, hoping that you still had underwear on. You weren't too sure if that was a dream or not, but given the way he acted, it made you even more confused.

You felt the wetness between your thighs, clenching them with a sigh. You stood up, tossing on the bra that was laying on the floor as if it was thrown off of you.

After cleaning yourself up a bit, you made your way to the breakfast area on the first floor, immediately noticed by Hongjoong. “There you are! I was worried you weren't going to—” he stopped, noticing the shirt that was way too big on you. “That’s the shirt I got Hwa….”

Seonghwa cleared his throat, shoving a bagel into his mouth to distract himself.

You ignored him and sat down across from him and next to Mingi. You looked up, meeting eyes with the man you thought so filthily about, seeing a swipe of cream cheese on the bottom of his lip. You held back, knowing that it’ll just send you into another spiral if you pointed it out.

But when he stuck his tongue out to lick it off, you felt the tingle in your stomach once more, thinking back at the dream you had, and how his tongue caressed you in more ways than one.

He met eyes with you, his lips parting slightly. His gaze was much different than it ever has been. You've never seen him so….lost. His expression was conflicted, his eyes not leaving your lips.

Wooyoung smirked. “Did you guys fuck or something? What’s with the mood?”

“Wooyoung!” Hongjoong yelled.

“What? I’m just pointing out the obvious,” he shrugged.

“We didn't. Keep dreaming,” Seonghwa muttered lowly, taking another bite of his bagel.

Hongjoong huffed. “I don't want to imagine my sister and seonghwa in that way…that’s super weird.”

“Why?” seonghwa questioned, his tone serious. You looked at him, confused as to why he cared. It seemed like everyone else was just as confused as you. “Ahem, I mean…uh, is it that hard to imagine?” Seonghwa’s voice was shaky, his gaze hopping from Hongjoong to you.

It made your brother laugh. “Well, yeah. You guys hate each other, right?” he took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “It makes no sense for you to even see eye to eye, I couldn't imagine you two in any type of relationship. Maybe her and Mingi, out of everyone.”

Seonghwa dropped his bagel face down onto his plate. “Why Mingi? What’s so special about—”

“I’m right here guys….” Mingi tried to interrupt, but Seonghwa shot him a dangerous glare, causing the gentle giant to hold his tongue.

Hongjoong looked around at the boys awkwardly and picked up his fork to continue eating his eggs. “I’m just saying.”

This was too awkward. You kept stealing glances at Hwa as if he were a magnet. You assumed he felt similarly, because every time you looked, your eyes would meet, and then you would awkwardly stare for a moment too long before looking away.

And when he got up to get more food, you got up, too.

“We need to talk,” you whispered, coming right up next to him as he put a muffin on his plate. “Why are you acting weird?”

He sighed and continued to add food to his plate. “I’m not acting weird.”

As he moved to get a drink from the drink machine, you continued to follow him. “Did I do something wrong yesterday?” you gasped, holding a hand over your mouth as he still ignored you. “Did I kiss you? Dear god, I hope not—”

“No, you didn't,” he said quietly, walking back over to the table.

“Something must have happened, seonghwa—”

He stopped, nearly causing you to bump into his back. “Don't.” he paused, taking in a sharp breath, looking over his shoulder at you. “Don't say my name.”

You frowned in confusion, watching the muscles in his back move as he walked away. You couldn't remember your antics yesterday, but maybe you made him uncomfortable by sleeping nearly naked—he hated you, so you could only imagine how irritated he was.

“Listen, if it was because I was naked, I'm sorry—”

Everyone at the table looked up as you spoke, including seonghwa. He looked shy, a blush on his cheeks, and he sat down quickly and stuffed the muffin in his mouth.

“Naked?” Mingi laughed, looking from you to seonghwa suggestively. “Sounds awfully smutty, Seonghwa.”

“We didn't—” he groaned, running a hand down his face. “Nothing happened with us.”

“Mhm, okay,” San smirked. “Whatever you say. Anyway, we have a whole day out planned, so you two better get back to your normal selves or we won't have any fun.”

You really needed to talk to seonghwa, but it seemed like you'll be busy the whole day with the boys—and he didn't seem to be very interested in talking to you, anyway.

You tilted your head in curiosity.

“What are we doing?”

—

The day was eventful.

First, you went to the beach. Seemed innocent, until Seonghwa took off his shirt and got all soaking wet, sending you in a mess of thoughts and a mess below. He would look over at you, and wouldn't look away, paying intense attention to your body in a skimpy little bikini.

When you went to talk to him, he body-slammed you into the ocean, and normally you would've fumed, but this time, you enjoyed his hands on your bare skin.

After the beach, you walked along the boardwalk of shops and lots of food. You grabbed a popsicle, licking it without a thought, but when you felt an intense pressure on you, you looked over to see seonghwa looking at you with an expression you've never seen on him. His eyes were focused on your lips, his own lips curled up as he bit them. You continued to eat your popsicle, but couldn't stop looking at him.

When you tried to bring up last night, Hongjoong came over and took the rest of your pop, running away from you like a child.

At dinner, you sat at the far end of the table, as far away as possible from Seonghwa. It wasn't intended, but now there was no way you could talk, as everyone would hear your conversation.

You ate, feeling defeated. Maybe you should just forget about it.

It was still daylight after dinner. As the guys conversed about what to do next, San and Wooyoung decided to go their own way and walk the beach, which was just their code word for “shopping” for girls. Hongjoong agreed with them, shocking you since he was always hell-bent on not going off a schedule. You assumed he was just going to meet that girl he was with yesterday, but whatever, it just meant that you could be left alone with Seonghwa.

After those three left, it was only you, Seonghwa, and Mingi. Hwa stood with his hands in his pockets, awkwardly looking around as you stood outside the restaurant. Mingi was even more awkward, looking at you before speaking.

“Um, I’m just gonna go with Woo and San, so,” he breathed, looking to seonghwa now. “I’ll see you guys back at the hotel tonight.”

“Okay, Mingi,” you smiled. “See you later.”

You watched him leave and then looked at the boy standing next to you.

“So,” you tried to initiate conversation, but seonghwa started walking in the opposite direction from where everyone else went. You followed. “What should we do?”

“I’m going surfing,” he said blandly. “I don't know about you, though.”

“I’ll come with you,” you smiled, finally catching up to him. He let out an aggravated groan as you walked close to him. “Do you even know how to surf?”

He scoffed. “Yeah, of course, I do.”

“I’m just saying,” you noted, shrugging as you followed him. “You’re too….dainty. I feel like if you fell off you’d break every bone in your body.”

Seonghwa didn't react in any way you were hoping he would. Instead, he kept walking silently, until you reached the part of the beach where the surf shack was. Wetsuits were laid out, ready to be picked up, and surfboards stood tall through the sand and against the building. You stared in awe as you approached, seeing that there was no one else here but you two.

Finally, alone at last.

“Grab a suit if you’re gonna do this,” he pointed to them, raising an eyebrow when you stood there anxiously. “What? Don't you know how to surf?” he mocked.

You kicked at the sand, your hands behind your back. “Pff. yeah, of course, I….no. I don't.” you pleaded with your eyes sweetly, despite all of the dirty things you wanted to do to him. “Could you please teach me? Pretty please?”

He held his own suit close to his chest as he looked down at you. “Why should I?”

You stepped closer to him, causing him to step back cautiously. “Because I’m pretty?”

“Oh honey, who lied to you?” he joked.

“Please, Seonghwa?” you stressed his name, hoping to break him. You watched his eye twitch as you said it, reminding you of earlier when he told you not to say his name.

“Seonghwa seonghwa seonghwa seong—”

“Okay, fine! Jeez,” he huffed, tossing you a suit, only for it to hit you in the face. “Get dressed.”

You walked into the shack with him, going your separate ways at the locker rooms. Everything went smoothly until you tried to zipper the suit up, only being able to get it halfway. You pondered on asking seonghwa for help or completely turning into a contortionist, but after failing to do it yourself, you gave up and left the room to ask him.

Seonghwa stood amongst the surfboards, his lean body looking delicious in that surf suit. You nearly drooled looking at him.

“Hey,” you started, slowly approaching him as he picked out a board. “Can you help me zipper this?”

He turned to you, his expression conflicted as he saw you. You turned around, showing your exposed back, causing him to clear his throat. “O..okay.”

His delicate fingers brushed against the skin of your back, nearly causing you to shiver. You felt his breath hit the back of your neck as the zipper moved up and up until he zipped it completely.

“....There,” he said, swallowing. “You’re all good.”

He didn't move his hands until you pulled away from him, turning back around to face him. The silence was deafening, so you decided to break it.

“Seonghwa, about last night, what exactly happened—”

“Let’s just get started before the sun goes down,” he interrupted, looking anywhere but your eyes. “We’ll talk later.”

That was good enough for now. You watched him try to pick out a board, but he seemed extremely nervous. After a good bit of time, he grabbed a pink one, causing you to smile. Pink suited him so much, more than he’d probably like to admit.

“Let’s start with some basics,” he spoke smoothly, tossing the board down onto the sand. “Get on it. On your stomach.”

You lay down on the board, looking up at him for more directions. He taught you how to paddle with your arms, explaining that you'll have to dive under the waves sometimes if you were okay with doing that. You couldn't look weak now, especially not to him. So after the little training lesson, you were finally in the shallow water, sand already in every nook and cranny of you.

“Try to keep balance,” he said, his voice raspy. It wasn't the time to turn you on, but of course, he could do it just by his voice. “Keep your chest up.” his hand caressed your back, down your spine.

You looked up at him, his wet hair dripping down his face. You held back, as much as you could, from pouncing on him.

But when you fell off the board and got stuck underwater, you’ve never seen him so concerned before.

He grabbed you under your arms, pulling you back up and holding him to you while you coughed. You were perfectly fine—maybe a little too much water in the ears, but it was the least of your worries. What you cared about was the look on his face and the way he caged you to his body.

“y/n?” he rushed his hand over your face, pushing away your drenched hair so he could see you. “Are you okay?”

You coughed, blinking away the salt that infiltrated your eyes. Seonghwa noticed your distress and gently rubbed your face with the pad of his thumb.

“Don't rub your eyes,” he pushed your hand away, still not letting you go from his embrace. “You'll make it worse.”

“It hurts,” you mumbled, causing his look of worry to worsen. True, the salt started burning your eyes, but you couldn't get enough of his caring touch—maybe because he’s never shown this side of himself to you.

He took in an anxious breath as he looked around. “Maybe we should get back to the hotel,” he spoke softly, the sound of water filling your senses as you looked at him.

Everything about his appearance aggravated you—from the way his midnight hair draped his face, dripping with water down his cheeks, to the way his normally judgemental eyes seemed gentle and sweet. He looked kind, the type of man who would worship his lover like a queen, and all the time knowing him, you tried your hardest to only see him in a negative light.

Now, as he held you in the cold, sparkling ocean as the sun was setting, all you saw was your reflection in his eyes and all you felt was the undeniable pull to be with him. To touch him. To kiss him. To tell him that maybe, just maybe, you’ve always had a piece of him in your heart.

“Seonghwa, I…” you paused, ignoring the burn from the salt water. You watched his lips as they slowly parted, his eyes wide as he picked you apart. They looked at you differently, like they never looked at you before, and you wanted him to never stop looking at you.

The distance between the two of you was nonexistent—you saw every drop of water on his skin, and you were certain he was able to gather the meaning behind your gaze. If he did, he didn't say anything—he only looked back at you with those entrancing irises of his, a look you’ve never seen from him. He waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, but you had nothing else to say.

As your lips neared his, you heard his breath get caught in his throat, and you felt his embrace tighten around you. You closed your eyes, taking in the feeling, hoping that he would be the one to lean in and meet your lips.

He didn't.

Instead, his hands trailed down your back, the pink surfboard still floating next to you despite being forgotten. His breath was shaky as he touched you, but the moment ended too quickly as he shook himself out of his trance.

“I um, we should, you know,” he nodded towards the beach, even though you weren't too far out. “We should get back to the room.”

You slowly blinked at him, watching his expression stay the same despite the change of mind. He coughed, letting go of you, but then he grabbed your hand and the board before pulling you to shore.

The walk back was quiet. He didn't let go of your hand until you got back to the surf shack, and he reluctantly let go knowing you had to change.

You both were silent as you looked at each other, but the ache in your chest convinced you to break this tension.

Before you entered the changing room, you quickly turned back around to face seonghwa, who still stood with that….sex-charged expression on his face.

“….Stop looking at me like that,” you hummed, your chest heavy as he breathed in deeply. He looked at you with those bedroom eyes of his, half of his wetsuit already off. He looked deadly, which didn't help your desire.

He swallowed hard but tried his best to remain calm. “Like what?”

You took a step closer, reaching back to your zipper to pull it down just a little. You shrugged it down your bare shoulders, making sure he got to know that there was nothing else but you under that wetsuit once again.

And when you got as close as you could, you said the words you knew would be life or death for him.

“Like you want to fuck me,” you shrugged, acting all cool even though you were falling apart by the second. You were lucky you were at the surf shack at such a late time of day, and that no one else was here except you.

He choked on air, stepping away from you until his back hit the wall. You noticed how his chest rose and fell as he breathed in, and how delicious it would be to just lick him all over….

“I…” he gulped, but his eyes lingered on your shoulders and the curve of your breasts. “I don't know what you mean?”

You smiled through your haze, mind focused on getting to the bottom of his sudden change of attitude towards you. You reached out, gently guiding your hand down the plain of his chest, down his slim, but muscular waist. Oh, you couldn't get enough of him already.

You smirked. “Then tell me why you’ve been eye fucking me all day, or at least what happened last night, so I can understand.”

He blinked fast, looking from your lips, down your neck, to your bare shoulders.

“You…” he took in a sharp breath as your hands trailed down his body. “You sleeptalk.”

“I know that already,” you whispered, looking into his captivating gaze.

He leaned forward slightly, veins popping in his neck as he strained against his judgment. “I mean, you…kept moaning my name. I…I couldn't take it anymore….I can't take it anymore. Every time you speak I just want to fucking shut you up with my mouth for fucks sake.” he huffed, subconsciously gripping your hips as he grits his teeth. “You so annoying, so damn annoying, I can't—”

“Then take me,” you spoke against his lips. “Fuck me. Just like you did in my dreams.”

His forehead pressed against yours as you pushed him further against the wall.

“And how did I do that?” he growled, his fingertips tugging at your wetsuit. “Was I rough? Gentle?” he paused, lips pressed to your neck. “Did I make you say my name, or was that all you with that filthy little mouth of yours?”

You couldn't speak as his lips glided down your neck to your collarbone. He sucked on the skin there, roughly, causing you to suck in a sharp breath and run your hands through his dripping-wet hair.

You moaned, biting his earlobe. “I want you to tear me apart.”

He smirked against your skin, his eyes finally meeting yours.

“Rough it is, then.”

Without warning, he bit his lip hard as he pulled your wetsuit right down to your ankles, the water from his hair dripping onto your bare shoulders. He nearly growled as you stood in front of him, naked as ever, his gaze darkening before gripping the back of your neck to pull you to him.

As he sucked on your neck, you pulled down his suit with aggression, not quick enough for the hunger in both of your souls. His hot breath tickled your skin, his hands clawed at your hips, and his lips begged to kiss yours as you shoved him against the wall once again, skin on skin. He breathed heavily, his eyes dancing from your breasts to your waist, to your lips.

You gripped onto his hair, staring into his eyes for a moment before you locked your lips with his, tasting the saltiness of the ocean and the sweet warmth of his saliva. Your tongues fought for their lives, dancing as you deepened the kiss. Foreheads slamming, hands invading space. It was all over for your sanity the minute his long fingers glided against your core, his middle finger finding your clit and rubbing gently. His kisses were rough as his fingers delicately touched you, fueling the fire within you even more than it already was.

“Seonghwa,” you moaned against his ear, causing him to move his hand faster with a grunt. “Push them in me.”

He hissed, his eyes rolling back into his head as he pulled his hands away for a moment, only to suck his fingers in front of you before shoving them into you, curling them up inside you. You arched your back against him, crying out as his lips found yours once again.

He kissed you deeply as he made love to you with his hands, his fingers long enough to reach deep inside of you—but it wasn't enough. You bit his lip sharply as he fingered you, causing him to hiss in pleasure. “I need your cock in me. Now.” you licked his jawline, watching him squirm in your embrace.

His cheeks were flushed red as he looked at you, his eyes looking as if he were intoxicated. “I…fuck,” he sucked in a breath, kissing you as his fingers moved faster and faster. “Okay.”

As he pulled his fingers out of you, he licked them once more, his eyes on yours seductively.

“You taste so good.” he moaned, his mouth parted. He then lifted you up, walking you over to the table of waxed surfboards in the middle of the room. Shoving everything off with one hand, he threw you onto the wood, causing you to let out a little grunt.

“You’re so sexy,” he leaned over you, slamming your hands above your head before silencing your moans with a rough kiss. “So fucking sexy, you have no idea how long I wanted to shove my dick inside you.” His words were like gasoline to your fire, causing you to cry out in a whimper for him to do exactly what he said he would do. You kept your mouth shut as he tugged you to the edge of the table, lining up his hard-on to enter you.

After a look of longing, he spit onto his fingers and rubbed them onto his cock and your heat, his chest falling and rising with his heavy breathing. He then buried himself inside you, deeply, causing your breath to hitch. He was even bigger than your dreams, tearing apart your expectations of his skills. You tried your best to free your arms from his hold, but as he moved in and out of you, you had lost the desire to escape it. You really liked the feeling of his fingernails tearing into your skin.

“Ah,” he whimpered, his hips rocking quickly, his eyes shut tight. His thrusts were deep, not slowing down for a second.

Your legs curled around his shoulders, his one arm holding your hands and his other piercing into your ankle. He grunted as he pumped into you, tearing at your insides, feeling him fill you up. “Hwa,” you groaned, back arching in pleasure. “Harder. Fuck me harder.”

He grunted in response, speeding up faster as his hips slammed into yours. You felt him quiver inside you, precum dripping into you without a care. You loved the feeling, you didn't care about the risks in the moment.

You climaxed without warning, your legs tightening around his head. He kept muttering your name over and over again against you, kissing the skin of your ankles as he continued to fuck the living shit out of you. You started to see stars as he nearly cracked your spine, and right before he nearly came, he flipped you over onto your stomach without ever leaving you.

Your face was shoved against the wood of the table, the sweet smell of sex enveloping your senses. You cried out his name as he gripped onto your hips, moving faster as his own orgasm came close. His lips met the small of your back, his fingers gripped your ass with haste.

“I’m going to come,” he mumbled, his voice raspy. “Can I come in you?”

“Yes,” you breathed. “Come inside me.”

As if your words stirred something within him, he immediately moved in shorter movements, his grip on your ass tightening as his orgasm came. His breathing shallowed as he came into you, filling you up with his cum. You let out one last moan as you felt his warmth, and he kissed the back of your neck as he finished.

He pulled out of you slowly despite how rough he was—he could've been rougher, but you didn't want him to think of you as the insane slut everyone thought you were.

Even though you only ever slept with others because you couldn't have him.

And now…..what comes next?

He helped you sit back up to a normal position, and when he saw the dark, purple bruises on your neck and collarbone, he gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry,” his fingers gently brushed against your hot skin as if he didn't just totally destroy you. “I kind of….went crazy, didn't I?”

You smiled up at him in a daze, both your cheeks blushed in embarrassment and enjoyment. “I like crazy.”

He paused, standing proudly in front of you with that delicious body of his. You sighed in contentment, a lazy smile on your lips. “I dreamt of this. Literally.” you reached out to him, pulling his lips down to yours. He kissed them softly, opening his mouth wide as he made out with you. You didn't want to pull away, but as the thought of you both having sex in a public surf shack came to your mind, you pulled away quickly, startling him.

“Um, so,” you laughed awkwardly. “Should we head back now? We are kind of in a public place….”

Seonghwa looked around, smirking as he leaned forward on the table, kissing you once more. “It was kind of thrilling, not gonna lie.”

You leaned into his embrace, his hands caressing your back romantically. “So,” you whispered against his lips. “We should get back. And this time, you better sleep in the bed with me.”

“Oh, baby, I plan on doing more than just sleeping.”

—

After countless rounds of ‘sleeping’, you ended up waking up late in Seonghwa’s embrace, his lips pressed against the curve of your shoulder as he held you. He quite literally rocked you all night long, and you even discovered his love for reverse cowgirl—making him come within two minutes of the fifth round.

Now, as you lay in his arms while he slept, you finally felt content. He was all you ever wanted, even though your words said otherwise this whole time of knowing him.

“Hey,” you turned around in his embrace, pressing your lips against his forehead. “Seonghwa.”

“Hm?” he grumbled sleepily, his eyes blinking open to meet yours.

You smiled, running a hand through his messy hair. “We should get up. The others are probably waiting for us in the lobby.”

“Ugh, why?” he groaned, holding onto you tighter. “ I don't want to leave this bed today. Or ever.”

You giggled, pecking his lips. “Come on, Hwa. I really would like to get a tan on the sand today.”

His eyes were wide open now, but he blinked slowly from his sleepiness. “We barely got any sleep,” he huffed, shoving his head into your shoulder. “And I can't kiss you in front of everyone, I can't wait the whole day to touch you.”

You grinned chaotically.

“Who says we have to hide it?”

—

“Dear lord,” Wooyoung huffed, sitting with his arms crossed at the beach. “Are they ever going to stop and come up for air?”

Your friends sat on towels on the sand, while you sat on Seonghwa’s lap as you made out with him. His hands gripped your face as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, both of you having no care for those around you.

“I knew this was going to happen,” San mumbled with a smirk, elbowing Wooyoung playfully. “Just let them have their fun. It’s been a long time coming.”

“Pfft,” Woo scoffed, looking at how seonghwa touched you.

“I always thought I would be the one tapping that.”

“Wooyoung shut the fuck up.”

#ateez #ateez smut #ateez fanfic #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa smut #roomates #vacation au #ateez masterlist #enemies to lovers #fwb #wooyoung #San #mingi #Hongjoong

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sidekick-hero · 3 months

Text

Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.

Day 0

Dear Steve,

Hi Stevie,

Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.

That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.

Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.

You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.

I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.

Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.

But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.

So, day 0, the journey begins.

Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)

Day 4

Sweetheart,

I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.

My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?

I miss you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.

I don't want to die, Stevie.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.

Day 7

Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.

I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.

We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.

You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.

I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.

One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.

I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.

I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.

Day 16

Steve, baby,

I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?

I want to be done, I swear.

Please don't leave me.

Please pick up the phone.

Please, please, please.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Stop being a fucking asshole.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.

Day 23

Stevie,

I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.

And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.

I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.

Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.

I think about this a lot.

I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.

There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.

Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.

I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.

I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.

Day 31

Steve, my love,

You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.

I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.

I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.

Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.

Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.

But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.

I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.

Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.

Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.

You are my past, my present and my future.

This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

To start our life together without forgetting what came before.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

My second chance.

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #rockstar eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddielovemonth #day 17 #Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost #my writing

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little-tainted-angel · 5 months

Text

๑ A secret between interlinked fingers.

Tim Drake x male!reader

Category: [Fluff/sfw/comical(?)]

Warnings: 5/5 bat-bros (Dick, Jason, Tim, Duke and Damian), male reader. Mention of Cassandra. 4/5 bat-bros don't believe Tim could go to therapy at all (I doubt any of them would). Reader uses Spanish pet names. May be too OOC.

Request: Yes / No | From: Anon.

«Hey! Could you please write Tim Drake x reader? Basically Tim is secretly dating a guy and they nostly hang out at school, his brother's get a bit too curious and listen in <3»

Note: My first request! Glad to have you here <3 I apologize if this isn't linked to your ask, Tumblr for some reason wouldn't let me edit it. I only had the options "delete" "program publication" and "post". Also, sorry this is short and if I got the characters personality wrong, I don't really know how to write Tim.

Resume: Tim and reader are dating, but they mostly just spend time in their school. His brothers got curious, and since all of them were raised by the world's best detective, is up to them to resolve the mystery that is Tim's relationship.

"I swear there's something strange in the kid's behavior," Jason muttered as he sat down on the couch, next to Damian while Duke was sitting on the other extreme. Dick was standing in front of them.

The four brothers (Cass also noticed, but Cass being Cass had already found out what it was), noticed that the brother —that was currently disappeared from the manor— had slight changes in his behavior.

It was sort of positive, they noticed. But they didn't know what caused it (therapy was discarded as an option by group agreement).

"Maybe he's self-improving for once?" Duke suggested, though he didn't sound convinced himself.

"TT. Doubt that Drake of all people could self-improve his pathetic self," Damian rolled his eyes.

"Damian, be nice," Dick sighed, looking at one of his baby brothers.

"Well, there must be a reason of why this small change." Jason crossed his arms.

"...And if we follow him to find out the reason?" Duke suggested.

"Wouldn't he notice?" Dick raised an eyebrow.

"It won't hurt giving it a try," he shrugged.

"I say we do it. What can end up wrong?" Jason pointed out.

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣🌸￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

"All of this is ridiculous," Damian murmured.

"You agreed to it Habibi," Jason hummed, making Damian click his tongue.

The brothers managed to follow Tim to his school. That was the moment they noticed a male getting closer to Tim with a smile.

You were a new addition, they quickly realized. As they had never seen you before with Tim. And Tim seemed at ease with you.

"A boy?" Dick said amused. "That's the cause for Tim's subtle change?"

Don't get him wrong, his baby brother can date whoever he wants. He was just surprised Tim changed because of someone else.

"Who is dumb enough to be interested in him?" Damian replied, clearly not believing what he was seeing.

"That guy we just saw, apparently," Duke hummed.

ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩ

"Everything okay, Amor?" You asked Tim, as he seemed to be slightly on edge.

"Yeah...I just feel like someone's watching me." Tim replied, sighing as he left his head rest on your shoulder. He was tired, you could tell.

You hummed softly as one hand came to brush his hair out of his face.

"When did you last slept?" You asked him, quietly enough for no one else to hear you.

Tim grumbled quietly, avoiding the question.

"Cariño, when did you last slept?" You asked again with a small sigh.

"...48 hours ago?"

"Tim."

"You asked."

"Do I have to drug you for you to sleep properly?" You murmured, gently massaging his scalp.

"Mmm....maybe," Tim replied back, closing his eyes as he left you touch his hair.

"What am I supposed to do with you, Amor?"

"Love me," Tim replied.

"I already do that, it's easy," you said amused.

Tim grumbled some sort of answer that you couldn't process.

"Yeah, you're definitely sleep deprived, Amor."

￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣

#dc x male reader #tim drake #tim drake x reader #tim drake x male reader #dc x reader #batfamily #batfam #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #duke thomas #cassandra cain #reader #male reader

325 notes · View notes

hiramaris · 4 months

Text

Kiss It Off Me

CHAPTER 4

Chapter Summary:

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.” “No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Pairings: Haley x Fem!farmer

Disclaimer: I do not own Stardew Valley or any of the related characters. Stardew Valley is created by and owned by ConcernedApe. This fanfiction is intended for entertainment only. I am not making any profit from this story. All rights of the original Stardew Valley story belong to ConcernedApe.

Warning: Swearing, mentions of neglect

Y/n, I’m not really good at writing a note or apologizing in general. I just… feel bad about how our introduction to one another went downhill which I know is my fault. I know it's kind of rude, too to take someone's photo without their consent so, here you go. It's not the best photo but it's not, like, the worse either. And you look like you're in one with nature so the photographer in me couldn't help but to take the shot. Anyway, if you have time away from your farm, you can drop by at 2 Willow Lane in the morning or whatever so I can make it up to you somehow. It’s cool if you don’t want to if you’re, like, really mad still. P.S I don’t wake up until 8. Need my beauty sleep! - Haley <3

Spring 9

"Earlier, I was getting my mail."

Haley's chewing came to a halt as George began to speak. How odd. George wasn’t one to talk during meals. She knew this because there was never a time she missed mandatory weekly meals with the Mullners.

Nonetheless, she leaned a bit closer to hear him.

"I couldn't because of my...” he trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. “Anyway, Pam's kid tried to help me, and I ended up shouting at her." "My goodness, George!” Gran Evelyn gasped softly, placing a hand over her heart. “Why did you do that to poor Penny?" "I— she pushed my wheelchair and touched my mail.” He averted his gaze, looking everywhere but at the three pairs of eyes focused on him. If Haley didn’t know him any better, he almost looked embarrassed rather than angry. “I... I didn't like it when people act like I'm so nimble." Granny shook her head in sympathy. "Still, honey... She's just trying to help." "I know, I know," George grumbled, stabbing his fork into a fried mushroom. "The new farmer even pointed it out to me." He looked up, his eyes boring into his wife. "I apologized anyway. It was just a bad day, and I happened to project my anger onto her."

At the mention of the new farmer, Haley perked up. Not to sound obsessed or anything or like she has been counting at all, but it has been two days since she had caught a whiff of that familiar scent of dirt and freshly cut grass that you seemed to radiate even from a mile away. If Emily’s going to twist her arm behind her back, then maybe she’ll be able to get Haley to admit that she’s the one doing the avoiding right now.

The fact that it was Haley herself who wrote a note for you to come by to make up for her rude behavior, and then when you did drop by immediately a day after, Haley would make sure she had plenty of excuses to not meet you at the door and have Emily answer on her behalf. It’s been days and she’s running out of reasons to tell Emily why she couldn’t meet her visitor, and it wouldn’t take a genius to know who’s avoiding whom.

How could she not though?

How can someone recover from a situation like that which was probably scraped off from a romantic script of a movie because it’s too predictable, and cringe?

How can you look at someone ever again knowing you had seen that face in mere inches, breath tingling the cheeks and then act like you weren’t fazed by it all?

Most importantly, how do you act after that? Apparently, it didn’t seem like a problem for you as you were so busy hustling and bustling in and out of the farm and into the town. And if you weren't busy doing your chores, then you were always dragged down by Sam’s little brother to their little class arrangement with Penny and often found you hanging out with them by the big tree just outside Haley’s home which is why she knows not because she’s actively searching for you, duh.

Okay, maybe you did try to come to her, and Haley's the one acting like you and she had a one-night stand for the way she avoids you like a plague.

Still.

She shook her head when she realized she’d been zoning out longer than she warranted. Evelyn is still giving George a piece of her mind for what he did. Haley’s so sure he’s regretting his decision by now opening this topic to his wife.

However, it was clear to Haley who was in the wrong here.

"If I may put in my two cents...?" she interjected, unable to hold back.

Alex raised a curious brow at her but remained silent. Granny, on the other hand, nodded encouragingly. "Go ahead, deary."

"I think George's reaction was valid," Haley began slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Penny touched your wheelchair and mail without consent, regardless of her good intentions, Mr. Mullner." And as an afterthought, she added, a hint of annoyance creeping into her voice, "And the new farmer agreed with her? She should have known better."

"Look at you, Hay. Queen of consent!" Alex teased, a smirk playing on his lips. "I love a girl who knows her boundaries."

Of course, the doofus would choose this time to speak.

"Haha," she rolled her eyes at a smirking Alex. He sure knows what buttons to push. "Asking consent is a bare minimum, you goof. You should practice it more often." "Hey!" "Hng," George grumbled inaudibly. "Little Miss Farmer did say that."

"Say what, dear?" "That Pam's kid should have asked me first.” George clarified. “But I should have handled it a little better, too. Can't say that she's wrong."

Despite his use of tone, he didn’t sound too upset. More like he’s in between of unable to believe that someone has the courage to stand up to him and tell him he’s wrong and still respect him as an elder, or being mad at this new farmer for sticking up her nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.

Either way, a George that isn’t grumpy is a win-win. So, they all will probably take it as it is.

"I'm glad you thought so too, dear." See? Even Granny thinks so, too. It’s better to have a plate full of her infamous cookies (and leek if you’re George) than to have a grumpy George on your plate. "Here, have some sauté leek."

George's face brightens up considerably. "I thought we don't have anymore from the pantry?"

"Miss Y/n dropped some earlier. Said to help cook your favorite dish. Isn’t she a sweetheart?”

"Hmm... I guess she's really something else then."

"I told you so, dear."

"Agree!" Alex raises a thumbs up. "She even knows how to play grid ball! She's new yet she's already better than the men here combined."

"That's lovely, deary. I hope she also influences you to read those books I gave you. I heard she's infatuated with books as Miss Penny does." "Yes, granny," Alex grumbled against his spoon.

Spring 10

She didn’t expect to see you so soon.

It’s not like she wants to avoid you forever. Ugh.

Why is this so difficult?

Her whole Spring routine is now in shambles because of you and your inability to dress nice, spreading your nasty farmer smell and being all happy smiles around children, elders, and women like some sort of Casanova and it’s infuriating!

“Hay?” Emily’s voice calling out from the kitchen stops her from her silent stewing. Haley was about to get up from her seat when Emily's voice continued, "did you clean the cushions like I told you yesterday?"

Her expression immediately turned sour, “I just cleaned them last week!”

The clanging from the kitchen stops, and the thudding of footsteps came closer. In an instant, Emily was standing in front of her with her spatula in hand.

“Yes, that’s last week. What about this week then?”

Haley rose to her feet, indignant. No freaking way she’s cleaning them again. “I always clean under the cushions and you damn well know it!" She jutted a perfectly manicured finger in Emily's direction. "It's YOUR turn this week!"

Emily scoffed at that. “You’re being childish, Haley. I do the vast majority of work in this house, and you know it.”

Haley rolled her eyes, feeling frustrated that Emily always played the responsible one. Just because she had a job outside the house, she acted like she was the only one doing anything. Haley does, too! She cooks, washes the dishes, does her own laundry, and cleans the house! But of course, Emily isn’t around enough to see all that because she has work and she’s busy thinking Haley’s lazy ass is just lounging in the house doing nothing all day!

“But that’s not the point!” Haley crossed her arms, a flash of irritation on her face. She wasn't going to let Emily get away with this. “We agreed to have schedules specifically for this and you’re not following it!”

Emily's eyes flickered with frustration. “Would it kill you to do them now? I had a rough shift yesterday.”

"You can't just pass off your responsibilities onto me every time you had a tough day at work. We made a schedule for a reason."

"I know, I know. But I just need a break today." Emily sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping.

The truth sets out then. She had a rough night and she passes the job onto Haley and made her feel guilty for it. Never mind that they agreed to have alternate schedules to do this specific job to avoid arguments yet here they are.

“Absolutely no—”

“Hello?”

Of fucking course, the farmer chooses that time to knock on their door.

Emily must have noticed the alarmed look written clearly on her face, making her smirk.

Oh, boy.

“Come in, Y/n/n! Haley’s up already.”

“Good mor—” You did a double take seeing a clearly upset Haley and an equally pissed Emily. “Am I interrupting something?”

“Yes,” Haley admitted bluntly, crossing her arms. A flash of recognition passed her eyes when she thought of an idea. A good one that’s for sure. “Since you’re a hard worker and all, I bet you’ll understand my point of view here.”

“Haley,” Emily warned. Haley ignores her, deciding to shift her attention to the newcomer.

You tilt your head in confusion. “What’s going on?”

Emily sighs in exasperation, before offering you a kind smile. “I’m really sorry to involve you in this, Y/n/n. Haley,” she shot her a dirty look, “is complaining because I asked her to clean the cushions—”

“— which you should be doing because it’s your schedule, not mine yet you’re shifting the blame to me.” Haley finishes for her. She turns to you, further proving her point. “It’s important to mention that I already cleaned them last week.”

“Haley…”

“Shut it, Em. I want to hear what she has to say. What’s the verdict?”

Haley may seem cool outside but she’s actually hoping for you to side her on this one. She knew she was on the right side. If you were to side with Emily, then that’s like a double edge of crap in some way and Haley refuses to bleed in front of you two.

You were silent for a good second, chewing your lips, deep in thought. Your eyes flicked back and forth between the sisters.

“Haley,” you prompted, voice slow and measured. Haley already knew at this point whom you sided with. “Why not have this be your one weekly job?”

Not that it’s important but it stings.

Haley turns to retreat to her room, but you must have noticed the look of utter disappointment on her face. You grabbed Haley's hand in panic, halting her in her tracks. The blonde couldn't help but freeze at the sudden touch. "W-wait. I’m not siding on anyone," You quickly clarified, hoping to diffuse the tension.

Haley raised a skeptical eyebrow, not entirely convinced. "Sure," she replied flatly.

“I just thought it would be the best course of action, so you don’t have to argue over it again. If you took this job, Emily won’t bother you again with cleaning the bathroom every two days. Isn’t that right, Em?”

“Yeah!” Emily agrees immediately. “Wait, what?”

Haley turns and finds you smiling down at her, clearly amused at Emily’s reaction. “doesn’t that sound more appealing?”

It does. She hates cleaning the bathroom with great passion, more so than cleaning under the cushions. If this also means it could possibly reduce Emily’s daily nagging, then your idea doesn’t seem the worst plan ever.

“Alright, you win.” Haley tried so hard to keep a straight face when she saw that stupid smile emerging again. “I guess this can be my job every week. Then there won’t be any reason to argue over it.”

Emily eyes her a bit at her sudden compliance with everything before turning back to you with an almost appreciative look. “Thanks, Y/n/n. That was a great solution.”

“Heh,” you must have noticed Haley’s eyes burning at your conjoined hands. With a timid chuckle, you retreated your hand back as you scratched your nape almost shyly. “It’s no problem, really.”

“Why don’t you stay for breakfast?” Emily suggested. “I’m almost finished cooking anyway.”

“It’s okay, thanks! But I don’t really want to impose.”

“Nonsense! I’m sure my sister won’t mind you joining us. Right, Hay?” Emily raises an equally blue eyebrow at her sister, who seemed to be in a daze.

“Your hands are rough and warm.”

“Huh?”

Your confusion snapped her out of her trance. She meets your eyes for a brief moment before glancing away. “I mean— what I meant to say was,” she sputtered pathetically. “Yeah, you can join us for breakfast.” She forces out a smile, hoping Yoba will answer her prayer one more time.

“Good!” Emily beamed. “Then I’ll get on with it. Haley, please keep our guest occupied.”

“You sure?” You asked one more time, probably noticing the grimace obviously etched on her face.

“Of course.”

“Hmm. Okay, then how about we clean these cushions now? So, you won’t have to clean them later?”

“Eh? It’s fine. I can do that later.”

“I insist. Two pairs of hands are better than one, y’know?”

“Ugh. Of course, you’ll say some dorky crap like that. Yoba, fine you can help.”

You can only laugh at her antics before moving to lift the couch.

Spring 14

She used to like her birthdays.

At least that’s what she likes to think.

What she allows herself to think.

And what she likes others to think.

It’s easier to blend into the stereotypes rather than oppose them and still get judged after.

Haley’s been called names already, all too many to even mention.

Spoiled.

Arrogant.

Self-centered and conceited.

If they are harsh enough, sometimes they’ll call her a dumb bitch.

As harsh as they are, Haley learned over the years to desensitize herself to them. Why allow yourself to be hurt by the same thing over and over again?

Her parents raised her and Emily in this big house back in Zuzu City. It was big, enormous even but empty. Can you call it home when no one cares enough to stick around? When all there ever was were big parties, and holidays spent with strangers she barely talked to, raised like the perfect little girl that she is, given with just as empty praises and gifts just as thoughtless.

Haley is practically the epitome of class and luxury. The living embodiment of perfection. Perfect face, perfect body, and oh-so-perfect stats. She’s smart (street smart or preferably photography smart if there’s one or whatever), rich and famous. Most importantly, she’s popular and has a reputation to protect. Everything that Emily probably isn’t. Yet she’s the one happier.

She’s the one who moved on while Haley remains still where their parents left them.

How could they be gone though if, in the first place, they were never present? Where were they when Haley won her first photography contest? Did they know the photo was Emily sewing her first design? Haley doesn’t think so.

They are not abusive though. In terms of needs, they never wasted seconds to tend them in the most grandiose and luxurious ways as possible— the newest phone, latest camera, expensive make-up, and all available seasonal designer clothes. Good but not great either. Haley can say they are just plainly emotionally unavailable. They weren’t ready at all to be parents. They were too young when they had Emily.

Early twenties were not even that young, but it was a stage of exploring the world and what it could still possibly offer them. They can’t have all that with children in tow. So, when the opportunity arises, they took it without hesitations. After all, both their children are fully capable on their own.

But Haley needed someone. She needed a father. She needed her mother. Hell, she needed her sister. She needed someone warm, a nicer, wiser person. Someone to cry to, to talk to, to laugh to.

She calls out but the house is empty.

So, tell me. How can I be childish when I’m forced to grow up because everyone already is?

Haley hated them with passion. The crumpled piece of letter in her hand was obvious enough to what extent she does.

Another birthday card.

No hugs and kisses.

No cake.

No parents.

Some birthday this is.

She lets out a dry chuckle. It seems Emily had forgotten about her day. She had taken off at dawn's first light without even a second thought. While Alex? She doesn’t expect him to remember. At least not until later than noon. The idiot, really.

“Thought I’d find you here.” Haley didn’t have to look up to see who it was, but she did anyway. There you are with your blinding smile again. Beads of sweat can be seen forming on the side of your forehead just below a small cut that seemed to be healing well already. Your clothes are lightly butchered, a sign she's up and about on her farm yet the sight of you lifted her spirit a little.

“Done with your chores?” She asked as you sat down next to her. Weirdly enough, the smell of dirt doesn't seem sore on the nose anymore, and Haley starts to wonder why.

It was a pleasantly warm Sunday. Usually, the kids will be playing here and Haley's glad she get to enjoy a quiet time in the park even for a little time.

You hummed. “Woke up extra early to finish them all.”

“Why? You have plans?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Naw, had to run some errands so I can give you this,” You turned to your rucksack that Haley failed to notice again. It was bulging. Haley could only catch sight of the color brown before you successfully hid it behind your back. “Held out your hands.”

Haley narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to prank me, are you?”

“What? No, of course not!”

“Is it a bug? You know I hate them.”

“Just do it, Hay.”

Surprised at the sudden usage of the nickname, Haley finally complied. She desperately hopes the sunlight would hide the tinge of redness starting to form on her cheeks.

Carefully, you placed a coconut on her open palms. It was plump and perfectly shaped as if it had been carefully chosen just for her. It was even wrapped poorly with a red ribbon that is a bit wrinkly and crinkled on the edges which must be because of how it was forcefully shoved in her bag. But Haley didn't find it in herself to mind. Not when you're looking at her like that as you hold your gift. “Happy birthday, Haley.” You greeted warmly.

Haley blinked, her eyes started to water, her insides warming up in all ways possible. But she didn’t dare cry.

"I... I love coconuts." Haley looked up. Her own lips betrayed her as they curled up in the widest grin she ever had. “How did you know?”

“Well,” You scratched the back of your head, your cheeks turning a light shade of pink. “Remember when you treated my cut the other day? You made me choose between a sunflower band-aid or a coconut one. So, I kinda assumed they were your favorites.”

“B-but how? You can’t possibly summon a coconut tree at will, or even had the time to go to Calico desert.”

You laughed at that. “It was pure luck, Hay. I just talked to the traveling merchant the other day and she said she had a couple of ones in stock. But she warned me I had to buy one early today or else she’ll run out just before noon.”

“Thank you.” She couldn’t stop smiling, not if she can’t help it. “It’s really sweet of you to do all this.”

“No problem. I like it when you smile. Happiness looks good in you.”

Happiness looks good on you, too.

****

A/n: I hoped I did Haley's heart event justice because she deserved soooo much better. I refuse to believe her mean girl façade is because she's plain mean. My girl is better than that.

Anyway, sorry for the super late update. You know, the usual, due to school stuff and it just so happens senior year is the busiest year of all. Had to make sure I'm complying with all the needed requirements so I can graduate this year.

Thank you, guys, for your patience. Love y'all but I love my wife more <3

#stardew valley #stardew haley #stardew farmer #stardew fanfic #haley x reader #haley x farmer

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indecisivemuch · 10 months

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Time wasn't in our favor - Part 4 (Happy Ending)

Pairing: TASM Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) x Female!Reader

Summary: "Maybe I'll give you another reward if you manage to save my New York city," - What if...your soulmate is from another universe but you didn't know? Soulmate AU. Set during NWH, fluff.

Note: Here's the happy ending, if I am honest, I think I'm better at writing sad endings.

Word count: 1k

Series Masterlist: Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Happy Ending, Sad Ending.

The girl ran through the portal without any hesitation, jumping slightly when she saw it closed straight away. Cautiously exiting the alley, the girl gulped as she realized how reckless she was being - entering another universe with no plan beforehand. How was she going to find Peter?

It has been seven days, three hours and thirty-two minutes since he left his soulmate's universe.

Right after returning to his own world, Peter checked his tattoo. When he did, staring back at him was no longer the faded gray spider web tattoo. In its place was now a red spider tattoo. It was as if the world hated him, and to show this evident hatred, it made his first soulmate die, and his second from another universe where he could not travel to. Ever since then, the boy could barely have a blink of sleep at night or even function properly in the morning. This meant that his performance at being Spiderman was plummeting, and people noticed.

Swinging along buildings in New York City, Peter sought for any commotion that indicated trouble. That was when he heard it:

“Spiderman,” it was far away, but his heightened sense of hearing allowed him to catch it. He glanced in the general direction and saw a person standing atop his favorite building. “Peter Parker,” that was when alarms rang in his head. Has somebody discovered his identity? He swung towards the building, approaching the person without revealing himself.

“I have like roughly 10 minutes.” He almost could not believe it, hearing her voice. Never would he think of meeting the Y/N from his universe. He peered at her from the shadows and it almost made his mouth drop at how similar they looked. There was nothing different about her, which surprised him considering how different he looked in other universes.

“If I can’t find you, Doctor Strange will come back and drag me back home and I need you to…somehow hear me. Spiderman, Peter Parker, Peter 3, or any other name you go by. I…” she stopped before sniffling.

“I can’t give up now, but at the same time, how do I find you in a New York city that is actually so much different than mine? I don’t want to leave, but I don’t know what to do. Why are you so near but so far at the same time,” she sobbed, feeling helpless. Indeed, time was almost up. Y/N wished she had bargained for more time. She went to many of the locations where she thought he would be. She even tuned into the news for criminal activities and recklessly ran to them hoping that Spiderman would be there. But because of his distracted state, Peter has barely made it to crime scenes, and instead slacked off.

Realizing that this was the Y/N that he met yesterday - his soulmate, Peter almost lurched forward from the shadow to wipe away her emerging tears. His heart was in disbelief, but he knew it was her.

“Y/N?” he softly spoke, hoping not to scare her with his presence. Nevertheless, she jumped slightly before realizing that it was him.

"Peter...it's me..."

At this, the boy couldn't help but pull her in for a hug, embracing her in his arms and inhaling as he buried his head in her neck. “I never thought I would see you again,” he muttered against her skin, hoping he could remember her scent before she leaves.

Any thought of leaving left her as she felt herself melt into his arms. How could she? Especially when this was the most that she felt like she was home. How could she when she knew how empty it felt without him or the memories of their moments together? She bit her lip as her head and heart started battling each other. But at the end, her heart won, and it ignored any sensibility or logic that her mind was yelling - that Doctor Strange would come and drag her back to her original universe, or the fact that she might bump into herself in this world.

“...Take me around our New York, Peter,” the girl blurted out while in his embrace, referring back to their conversation days ago. She watched as Peter pulled away from their hug and looked at her. There was slight confusion before a look of shock painted over his face instead.

“You’re staying?” he almost yelled, his tone holding some doubt on whether he had read her implications correctly. She laughed at his exclamation before nodding eagerly to confirm. Peter chuckled in disbelief before lifting Y/N up and flung her around in his arms with pure joy. Their harmonious laughter echoed off the building as the two embraced each other.

“But what about…what about your universe? Don’t you have to go back?” he asked, despite hating to imagine that happening.

“Peter…you’re my soulmate. My universe is here with you,” Y/N muttered, grinning up at Peter, who did not reply to this. Instead, he chose to take a moment of silence with her in his arms, and allow his mind to process the thought of having her forever.

“You know I won’t say ‘no’, right?” Peter whispered as he peered down at Y/N. “I won’t say ‘no’ if you say that you’ll stay, and I would not give a damn about the universe as long as I have you” he added, gulping at what was probably the most selfish thing he has ever uttered.

“The world has taken so much away from me, and I just want to be selfish for once in my life, and do something for me…and I want you. I need you. So, if you say you’ll stay, I would never say ‘no’. Never,” Peter rambled. He watched as Y/N’s eyes started to water from his words.

“Y/N, I need you.”

“Have me,” Y/N responded with no hesitation. “Keep me…I would not say ‘no’ to that, Peter,” she added.

He glanced down at her lips indiscreetly, causing the girl to grin.

“Our New York. I like the sound of that,” he confessed. "By the way, you still owe me.”

Y/N scrunched her eyebrows at this, trying to scour her memory for whatever she was in debt for. Her confusion only made Peter grin.

"I believe I did save your New York," Y/N's face immediately lightened as she remembered what this was about.

"Oh, my knight in shining armor, Peter Parker! I'm assuming you're here to collect your reward?" Y/N teased, her hand slowly wrapping around his neck. Peter, on the hand, only smirked at her question and did not answer. Instead, he pulled her in, connecting their lips together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BONUS:

In the middle of New York, a girl entered her favorite sandwich shop. “Hi, can I get a meatball sandwich without pickles and extra cheese, please? Thanks, Richard” the girl ordered.

“No problem, Y/N. How was the shift?”

“Super busy...and depressing. I had to slip away to get my mind off today's surgeries. Everything just seems to fall apart today,” Doctor Y/N L/N answered. Surgery after surgery, the girl has worked for over 50 hours without sleeping. Not only that, but the bus accident has left many in critical conditions.

“I’m sorry to hear that. Here, a brownie on the house,”

“Thank you, Richard, I’ll see you soon.”

The girl picked up her sandwich and brownie before heading towards the door. Before she could reach it, her knee gave away. She collapsed on the ground, groaning loudly as she felt an excruciating pain on her wrist, where her soul mark was.

“What’s happening?” she looked down to see her tattoo of a spider with two shorter legs slowly vanishing.

“Y/N?” the owner called out, coming up from behind her, trying to figure out what was wrong. The doctor, however, only had her eyes on what was happening to her wrist. There it was, a pink scar in the spot where her soulmate tattoo used to be. Without answering the man behind her, Y/N took out her phone and dialed it.

“This is the Palmer-Strange clinic for soulmate care. How may we help you?” a voice answered through the device.

“Get Doctor Christine Palmer on the phone, please.”

--------------

Anddd that's it for this series. Thank you for reading it. I wrote this pre-"across the spider-verse" so if it doesn't mash well with that, I'm sorry. Miguel would definitely not like it if the events pan out like this ending. The bonus bit is just my imagination spinning and creating a whole universe for this series. Feel free to head over to the sad ending as well.

Series Masterlist: Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Happy Ending, Sad Ending.

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kazumiwrites-fanfiction · 8 months

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Mr. Perfect

SUMMARY: Azul struggles to say his true feelings. WORD COUNT: ~700

WARNINGS: Azul overthinking, Azul not wanting to confess, Azul hating himself (slight?? Idk) A/N: Me at almost 11 PM, half-asleep, writing this because I need to add something to my event before my birthday (September 4, which is- close by wow). Anyways this song has been stuck in my head and I felt like it would fit Azul I don't know (sort of does and sort of doesn't) Literally while looking through my playlists I figured out most of these are going to be hard to create a story around whoops- haha. So that's fun- For this event.

Azul had always been secretive.

Sure, you would never know it by the way he acted; he was always extroverted, always saying kind things, the whole shebang.

However, his true secret?

That he hasn't eaten much at all?

That he cries himself to sleep every night without fail?

All of that is hidden behind a radiant smile. A practiced smile.

He hid all parts of himself away; what else could he do?

He couldn't bear it if people thought he was weak. Not again.

And so he put up a front.

Even when he said "Love you," those words weren't a complete truth.

He did it to get what he wanted, to get it when he wanted.

Did that mean he was lying? Perhaps.

But the thing was… He wanted to be in love.

He was never good at loving others, and he mostly shut others down.

After all, who would accept him as who he was? A disgusting octo-mer? He'd laugh in their faces.

He's not the prettiest. He's not special. He's just… Him.

He tries hard, yes. He has to. Otherwise he'll go back to his child self. And he couldn't have that.

No one figured all of this out; not even Floyd or Jade. (Though they could come close with their guesses, especially Jade.)

The lies slipping out of his lips, sweet as honey. The overly practiced smile. Everything was perfected. It had to be perfect, after all.

Still, he couldn't help it when he fell in love with you. But he was terrified, to say the least.

He had said "Love you" to others. He knew that. He knew it was all a lie. But once he started to feel these… Things toward you, he wasn't sure what he could do, if anything.

Was this all a lie? Maybe. Was he lying to himself? He almost hoped that that was the case. Because if he was in love… What then? What could he do?

These thoughts plagued his mind. Day in and day out, it was all he could think.

He was so nervous in approaching you. Though he hid it well, almost teasing you, his heart was racing. If you knew him better, you would see the flash of panic in his eyes that happened ever so often that he so desperately tried to hide.

Still, he hid his weakness. Made sure no one, not even the twins, knew about it.

Azul knew that he had to be the strongest. He couldn't let this ruin all of his plans.

Still, he found himself being lenient toward you. Sometimes giving you a drink free of charge while you were at Mostro Lounge, sometimes just going out of his way to talk to you. Often, he would find himself ordering Floyd to get rid of the noisy guests while you were there so you could have some peace and quiet.

He was greedy. He knew he was being greedy. But he couldn't stop.

He wanted to stay with you; to be your partner, to make you happy.

But he was too afraid to make that final leap and open himself up to you.

To tell you his true feelings.

Until one quiet night at Mostro Lounge, when most of the patrons had left.

He worked up his nerve before slipping into the seat beside you.

You seemed confused, but it was okay - or so he told himself.

He opened his mouth for a moment before closing it again. He couldn't speak.

He was scared sick.

But still… He managed to say, "I am in lo- I care for you a lot, kantokusei-san. Would you… Would you like to go out with me?"

He met your gaze after a moment, hands shaky, breath catching in his throat. He said it. He actually said it. And he didn't stutter that much, either.

But as he waited for your response, he hoped you would feel the same way. Then, perhaps he could say "I love you" for real. And maybe you would know that these were the words that would never be lies - not to you, anyway.

As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! ♡ Send your thoughts grr

This post has details for requesting, and I also currently have a writing event going on here. Please check it out! (And request stuff for the event please I am running out of motivation-)

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 1 month

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OC Questionnaire

Thanks to @illarian-rambling here and here, @somethingclevermahogony here and here, @mk-writes-stuff here, @imsoveryveryconfusedatlife here,

Rules: answer the questions for your OCs, then ask three more questions to others!

Tagging @blind-the-winds @little-peril-stories @buffythevampirelover @eccaiia @dyrewrites @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @willtheweaver @chauceryfairytales @reininginthefirewriting + ANYONE

These accidentally built up. Since I got tagged multiple times this may be a little long. I will do one OC per set.

#1- Robbie

What's your favorite type of weather?

“I mean, I guess I like it when it's cloudy, maybe even a bit gray. It feels cozy, I guess. Especially if it's cold, because then you have an excuse to stay inside.”

Who was the last person you told a secret to?

“Probably Akash. He knows my secrets better than me.”

Have you ever broken a bone?

“There was a ramp up to the playground in kindergarten, and I slipped and broke my arm on the ramp. It was the day before the talent show, so I had to go on stage with a cast.

More Robbie: OC in fifteen, OC in three, two truths and a lie, picrew

#2- Gwen

What's a childhood fear you had?

“I think it was...that I would one day find an evil clone of myself. Or a dark version of me. I guess it was all the cartoons I watched! (Laughs) I suppose those things happen a lot less in real life.”

What's in your pockets?

“My drumsticks. I developed a habit of twirling them when anxious or bored. Thankfully I've gotten boy's pants for years so I can have better pockets.”

Ever considered therapy?

I'm assuming this is post-Pt2

“What? No, I-- *sigh* I don't need therapy. I'm needed elsewhere.”

More Gwen: OC in three, picrew

#3- Maddie

Salty, spicy, or sweet?

“Spicy. I enjoy the risk.”

What is your favorite game or sport?

“Hm. Anything Mario related. But I'm really good at Mario Kart.”

What was the last thing you threw away?

“The instructions for the LEGO set I just built. The Batmobile, for the record.”

More Maddie: OC in three, picrew, two truths and a lie, filled in Bingo

#4- Noelle

What’s your favourite food?

“Saying I have a favorite food is ridiculous. It's food - if it's good, it's good. I guess anything my mom made. And I like to think my cooking is good. I like doing it at least. I couldn't pick a favorite.”

What’s the worst joke you’ve ever heard?

“Any that comes out of Robbie's mouth. (Pause) I think that was a little rude. Parker - he thinks he's a lot funnier than he is.”

If you could go anywhere in the world to visit, where would it be?

“I'd like to go wherever my dad is. Talk to him. See why he and my mom aren't together anymore.”

More Noelle: OC in fifteen, OC in three, filled in Bingo

#5- Jedi

What do you do for work?

“Oh, I love my work. I have a doctorate in the power database. I run constant tests on DNA from different Alii to compare their genetic makeup so the database remains accurate and thorough. I make notes of trends among the abilities of different Levels, as well as noting the subpowers, and how those subpowers look on a genetic Level. I am currently working with my dear friend Carmen to study the long-term effects of Alii who grew up on Ceteri, and how their powers develop throughout their adolescence.”

How much sleep do you get?

(pause, rubs the back of his neck) “I do have insomnia, so I get a normal amount of sleep for that. I may take medication to fall asleep occasionally, but I am usually reading or running diagnostic tests.”

What’s your favourite animal?

“I am particularly fond of kitsunes and water foxes. I also always wanted a pet ferretsnake, as well.”

More Jedi: OC in three, Picrew, acearo smash or pass

#6- Kelsey

Who would you miss the most if they left?

“Maddie. She's been my best friend for years. I wouldn't know what to do without her.”

What is the funniest thing you have ever done?

“Not check the bathroom stall lock in second grade. It's how I met Maddie though, so I'm grateful I did that. I also put on a handmade puppet play for my cousins a few years ago. Improvised the whole thing.”

Who cares about you the most?

“Maddie. And Hye-Jin. They've never stopped caring about me, even though they show it completely differently.”

More Kelsey: OC in three, picrew (now inaccurate since I'm dying her hair black), filled in Bingo

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

Alright, you've made it this far. Here are the questions:

What is on your nightstand? If you don't have a nightstand, what would you put on it if you did?

What are some of your hobbies?

What is your system for organization?

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sesamestreep · 3 months

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30 Day Writing Challenge - Day 7

Use the words: small town, bar, jukebox (from this list) ➸ slight future fic in the west wing AU, set probably six months after part 4 which does not exist yet (🫠) so maybe consider it a preview of what’s to come eventually in the series?? corresponds to the beginning of season 3 of the west wing when everybody’s in Manchester for the campaign and based (loosely) on that scene where Toby sucks at pool. ♡ dedicated to my pal @aivley-reblogs who had the chance to influence me to make this fic less weird and horny and chose violence instead ♡

It's only after Foggy has managed to send Karen and most of the remaining staffers that were still holed up in the bar either working or blowing off steam back to their hotel rooms for the night that Matt finally reappears.

“Did I miss the end of the party?” Matt asks.

“We’re calling it a night,” Foggy replies, as he’s futzing with his wallet. He's waiting on the drink he just ordered with plans to close his tab after that. “The team’s picking back up with the speech in the morning. Hopefully, some rest will help.”

“I don’t know if one good night of sleep is enough to make everyone see eye to eye there.”

“Yeah, but it’s almost midnight and I think we’re all entitled to some delusion.”

Matt smiles at that, and says, “You’re heading out, then?”

Foggy leans back against the bar. “After this drink, yes.”

“I’d have another too, if you’re offering.”

“Yeah, alright,” Foggy says, at the exact same moment the bartender reappears with his drink. “Can I be a bother and add one more thing to my tab?”

The bartender gives Foggy the impression of someone who’s probably a school teacher by day and does this for extra cash because the educational system in this country is fundamentally broken. That’s a long way of saying she’s a different breed from the sleek, lithe employees of the downtown DC bars he usually frequents, most of whom could and likely do double as escorts to senators and ambassadors now and again. She’s also probably old enough to be his mother, which makes it charming and not weird when she nods curtly and turns to Matt with a, “Jameson, right, honey?”

“Yes, thank you,” Matt replies, with the sort of humble acquiescence of someone used to terms of endearment from the older ladies at church. Once she’s gone, Matt pokes Foggy’s wrist and says, “You play pool?”

“Not as well as Karen, but…”

Matt smiles, too brightly for the hour and for their current circumstances. “I see news of my humbling defeat has already reached you."

"As if there's a force on this earth that could actually humble you in any real way."

"True enough," Matt replies, his smile only growing. "It's clear to me now that I should have done my homework before challenging her, at least.”

"I hope you didn't put any money on it," Foggy says, casually.

"Nothing I couldn't afford to lose," Matt says, with a shrug. It's hard to tell in the subdued lighting of the bar, but he might also be blushing faintly. "If you're worried, I'll be generous with you. You can lose for free."

"Golly, thanks," Foggy says, drily, making Matt laugh.

"Sounds like a yes to me," he says, before nodding to the raised area in the back of the room where the pool table resides. “I’ll get it set up. Meet me there when you’re all set.”

“Sorry, am I buying and delivering your drinks now, Murdock?”

“Seems like it, yeah,” Matt replies, with a grin that threatens to overtake his face as he effortlessly walks back from the bar without turning away.

“And what do I get out of this arrangement?” Foggy shouts after him.

“The pleasure of my company,” Matt fires back, and then disappears again.

Foggy can’t deny that that’s enough of a draw for him, but he doesn’t have to be stupid and admit it out loud. Instead, he gets Matt’s drink without further complaint, as well as his own, closes his tab, and heads over to the slightly enclosed area at the back of the bar where there’s a pool table with Matt Murdock leaning against it. He hands the drink off to him, and clinks their glasses together before Matt can pull his away.

“Cheers,” he says, for no real reason, and watches Matt’s throat move on a swallow just a little too closely. He feels fine and normal otherwise.

“You know how to play?” Matt asks, inclining his head towards the table as he stands and makes his way to the rack of pool cues.

There’s something loose and warm in the way he moves around the rounded corners of the table, like this is his neighborhood bar and he knows it by heart. Foggy attributes it to the few drinks he’s had over the course of the night and a certain natural grace that Matt seems to possess, but having an explanation for it doesn’t dampen the effect of it at all. Just like he was fascinated by Matt’s throat a moment ago, Foggy now feels like he can’t take his eyes off Matt’s hips, which is a real problem.

“I’m a man of a certain age, Matthew,” Foggy gripes, in the hopes of distracting from his obvious enamored state with sheer bad manners. “Of course I know how to play pool!”

"Good, then I won't go easy on you," Matt says.

"I have a feeling that was never an option," Foggy retorts. "What's a guy like you get out of pool, anyway?

"A guy like me? What's that supposed to mean?

Foggy rolls his eyes. "Don't give me that. It's a pretty visual game!"

"True enough. I was going to ask you to point me in the right direction, depending on whether I end up with stripes or solids."

"I could lie."

"Yeah, but you won't."

"I'm a politician, kiddo. Don't be so sure."

"'Kiddo'," Matt repeats, evidently delighted by it. "You're in a real mood, huh?"

"I'm fine," Foggy says, too sharply. "You want to break or shall I?"

"You go ahead," Matt offers, generously. "I want you to feel like you stood an actual chance, at least to start."

"You're kind of an asshole, you know that?"

"Oh, I'm aware. You can save the energy you're about to put into pretending you don't like it, by the way."

"I don't like it!"

"Sure."

"I really don't," Foggy says, even as he's trying to fight a smile. And winning, but still. "Not right now I don't, at least."

"Yes, you do," Matt replies, knowingly. "Right now, me being an asshole is the only thing stopping you from taking your frustrations out on someone who doesn't deserve it."

Foggy sighs, defeated. "You don't deserve it either."

"Give it fifteen, twenty minutes and see if you still feel that way," Matt says, lightly, and nudges him with his elbow.

Foggy steps up to take the first shot, breaking the neat little triangle of billiard balls that Matt has assembled in the center of the table with the white cue ball easily. Nothing goes into a pocket, of course, not that he really expected it. He's fine at pool, generally speaking, but not great. It's a feeling he's beginning to get used to (and increasingly tired of) in the rest of his life as well.

"Let's keep it simple," he says, as he stands up. "Whoever sinks the most shots wins."

"Easy enough," Matt says, coming to stand next to him. "Where's the cue ball?"

Foggy steps in close to Matt's side, until their arms brush. "Eleven o'clock."

Matt nods and sinks down into his stance. Foggy steps back, both to get out of his way and to admire his form. Matt’s got a nice ass, which is something Foggy noticed about him basically immediately, being gifted by God with both the power of sight and the blessing of bisexuality. He can normally control himself enough to conveniently avoid noticing it, except for right now when it’s late, he’s a little tipsy, and Matt’s suit is perfectly tailored to show it off. It is, quite frankly, a ridiculous situation he’s gotten himself into. Even the dim amber lighting of the bar is blending with the glow of several nearby neon signs—they serve Heineken and Pabst Blue Ribbon here, apparently—to cast Matt’s skin in the dreamiest light possible.

Matt sinks three balls without trouble before Foggy can manage to tear his gaze away from his ass, and even then, it’s only to get distracted by the lovely shape his fingers make around the cue. He misses his next shot by about three millimeters, a miracle that Foggy attributes either to the power of his overwhelming horniness creating some sort of palpable disturbance in the atmosphere or God punishing him for his lustful thoughts by contriving a scenario where Matt’s no longer bending over a pool table in his line of sight. Either way, it’s a reprieve.

“That’s you,” Matt says, still stalking around the table like a jungle cat. Foggy might need to get out more, is the thing.

“How are you this good at pool, anyway?” Foggy asks, as he lines up his shot and delicately avoids letting his hips come into contact with the table. He thinks unsensuous thoughts and doesn’t look over at Matt at all, because, with his luck, if he does, Matt will be innocently fellating the pool cue or some similar such nonsense. Better to avoid it altogether, he thinks.

“Practice,” Matt says, smugly. “And very, very dim vision, technically.”

“I didn’t know that,” Foggy says as he sinks a shot, finally. Even that, the sound of the ball finding the pocket, is kind of erotic to him now because his life is a farce.

“Yeah. Most blind people have some vision. Total blindness is fairly rare.”

“So, what I’m hearing is you totally just let me lead you around most of the time because you really just like walking arm in arm with me. Is that accurate?”

“You caught me,” Matt says, with a soft smile, and Foggy misses his next shot completely. “Not bad.”

“3 to 1,” Foggy replies, pushing himself up.

“You’re on the board,” Matt says, passing behind him closely enough that Foggy catches the scent of his cologne mixed with the Jameson left in his glass. He takes another drink and Foggy wonders what his mouth would taste like right now and also if there’s a historically significant, beautiful river nearby that he could potentially drown himself in. They’re in small town New Hampshire, after all. The chances that Benedict Arnold did something stupid near here back in 1776 and there's a scenic spot with a plaque commemorating it are pretty high. There are worse places to drown yourself, he figures.

“Don’t patronize me,” he grumbles, instead of saying any of that out loud.

“I wasn’t,” Matt says, grinning as he settles into his spot for his next shot.

“How much did Karen beat you by, again? I feel like it might be helpful, for me, to know.”

“It’s not fair,” Matt says in an exaggerated whine that’s in no way convincing. His smile doesn’t help either. “I’m blind and she tricked me!”

“I don’t think her being better at pool than you expected constitutes a trick on her part, Matt.”

“She let me explain the rules to her for like ten minutes!”

“And I bet she let you do that thing where you got real close and showed her how to handle the stick from behind too,” Foggy says, infusing his tone with mock pity.

“Oh, she dropped the ruse well before that point, though I’ll be the first to admit I’m not above that move,” Matt says, unrepentant, and sinks another shot. “But I can always do that for you if you need some pointers!”

“Sure,” Foggy says, sweetly. “Come on over, big boy.”

Matt misses his next shot because he’s too busy doubling over with laughter. “Jesus, Foggy!”

“Don’t put anything on the table you don’t want people to accept, Murdock.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Matt says. “Your turn.”

Foggy sighs as he gets into position. Matt comes to stand at his side and, after a quiet moment in which Foggy attempts to line up his shot, puts his hand on the small of Foggy’s back. It takes all of Foggy’s concentration not to jump away from the touch, but he manages to keep his cool, just barely.

“Your stance does need work,” Matt says, mildly, and kicks him in the ankle before Foggy can make a smart comment about what his lower back has to do with his stance. “Bring this foot out a little.”

Foggy complies, because his brain can’t think of anything else to do in this moment. “Better?” he asks.

“Good,” Matt replies, and Foggy likes the tone in his voice a little too much for his own well being. “Take your shot.”

Foggy does, and scratches. The humiliation, at least, cuts through the arousal rather effectively. That’s something.

“Saboteur,” he mutters as he goes off in search of the lost cue ball.

“I can improve your stance, but your aim is your own problem.”

“A likely story,” Foggy says, as he returns. “I’m hip to your little mind games now, Murdock.”

He puts the cue ball into Matt’s outstretched hand. Matt is entitled, per the rules, to place it wherever he likes on the table to set up his next shot, but he stands there cradling it thoughtfully in his palm, testing its weight, instead, for a long moment, like a total sociopath, adding more force to the argument that Foggy is currently being punished by a mean-spirited and vengeful god.

“You know massaging that thing won’t help you score, right?”

Matt gives him a smile that indicates he either appreciates some good trash talk between men or that he’s seen through to the very heart of Foggy’s desires and found them trivial and amusing in the grand scheme of things. Either way, it’s a good look on him.

“Can’t hurt, can it?” Matt asks, smugly, and places the cue ball before lining up his shot and sinking it in one practiced, elegant motion. “5 to 1, correct?”

“Yep,” Foggy says, leaning back to watch the show without guilt now, since he’s paying for it so dearly at the cost of his self-respect. Matt sinks another shot and Foggy doesn’t even care because he’s too transfixed by the way the fabric of Matt’s dress shirt bunches up around his bicep and spreads taught between his shoulder blades. Foggy takes a healthy sip of his drink because his mouth is suddenly so dry.

"You know," Matt says, casually, with his ass unceremoniously in the air because pool is the greatest game ever invented, in Foggy's not-entirely-sober opinion (even if he is losing spectacularly), "we are rapidly approaching the point in the game where you can't actually win."

"Yes, I'm aware. Believe it or not, I can do basic math. It's one of my very few skills."

"I don't agree with that assessment."

"You don't think I can do math?"

"I think you have lots of skills," Matt says, as he brings his score up to seven. "The gift of foresight, for one."

"What?"

Matt smiles. "You were smart to accept the offer not to play for money."

"Oh, right. Sorry, I thought—you're right. That was smart.

"What did you think I meant?"

"Nothing, I—it's not important. I was just confused for a second there."

"Foggy..."

"Just take your next shot, Matt," Foggy interjects, harshly. "You're one point away from ensuring complete domination over me."

Without turning away from him, Matt reaches out to poke the cue ball with his cue, leaving it to roll hesitantly and without urgency into the bumpers around the edge of the table. "You're up," he says, with a helpless shrug, and comes to stand next to Foggy.

He sighs. "Matt, listen—”

"I didn't mean the tobacco thing," Matt says, ignoring him. All of the levity of a moment ago is gone. They're not cheerfully messing around anymore, it looks like. "That's not how I'd bring it up. You know that, right?"

"I do know that. You wouldn't—it's just that it's been on my mind. That's why I went there. It has nothing to do with you."

Matt nods, absently. "I hope so."

"It's the truth," Foggy says, grabbing him by the arm to emphasize his sincerity. "And you've been a real class act for not rubbing my nose in it. I deserved an 'I told you so' at the very least and you haven't given me one, so I should be more appreciative."

"You don't have to thank me for not kicking you when you're down."

"I went to you for advice on how to handle things with the Appropriations subcommittee and then blatantly ignored all of the very good advice you gave me. 'I told you so' would be getting off easy."

Matt smiles, reluctantly. "To be fair, I don't think you really went to me for advice. You knew what you wanted to do before you came to me."

"What was I looking for then?"

"Permission," Matt suggests. "Forgiveness. Maybe some mild fawning over your political acumen."

"All of the above, maybe," Foggy admits, warily, and rubs his face. "I'm sorry."

"For which part?"

"Ignoring your good advice, for one thing. And, well, if I made you feel like I was pulling rank on you, that's not good either."

Matt laughs. "You do outrank me, Foggy."

“Still,” Foggy says. “I like to think I’m not that guy, usually.”

“What guy?”

“The one who’s so far up his own ass that he can’t see anyone else’s point of view.”

“Oh, yeah,” Matt says, thoughtfully. “You’re definitely not that guy.”

“I was to you.”

“Not really. It was one situation where you didn’t take my advice. That’s going to happen if we work together for any stretch of time. It’s going to happen again, I’d guess. I hate to think you’re going to beat yourself up this much every time.”

Foggy nudges Matt with his elbow ineffectively. “You’re being too nice to me.”

“And you’re being too hard on yourself,” Matt replies. “Someone’s got to be nice to you. Might as well be me.”

“I notice this vow of kindness doesn’t extend to letting me win at pool.”

“Even I have my limits of good grace, Foggy,” Matt says, with a smile. “Besides, I already lost once tonight. My ego barely survived it.”

“Yeah, I know,” Foggy says, earning a confused look from Matt. “Karen asked me to check on you before she left. She was worried about your fragile mental state, that maybe you were weeping over your humiliation alone in the bathroom.”

“No such luck,” Matt laughs.

“My theory was that we had you to thank for the back-to-back Shania Twain songs on the jukebox at the time.”

“Also not true, but only because Shania Twain isn’t exactly sulking music.”

“Speak for yourself,” Foggy says. “I could sulk to Shania.”

“Well, that’s why they pay you the big bucks, I guess,” Matt replies, absently leaning his weight onto the pool cue. “I didn’t know you were paying such close attention.”

Foggy pauses with his glass midway to his lips. “What?”

“When Karen and I finished our game,” Matt says, still brightly but with a strange edge, like he’s not sure mentioning this is the right thing to do. “I thought you were still outside with Jeri.”

“I was,” Foggy says, and then reconsiders. “I mean, I was for most of your game, I think. When I came back in, you two seemed to be finishing up.”

They also seemed to be laughing and touching a whole lot, which is why Foggy hadn’t come over. He’d slunk off to drink at a table with Marci and Ben and a few of the new people Jeri had hired to run the campaign while they went nine rounds over the wording of a single sentence in the speech for the President’s official announcement for the bid for re-election. The senior staff and the campaign staff were finding it difficult to mesh together so far and it meant that this important speech was stuck in limbo between them like a child of divorce in a nasty custody battle. Everyone, it seemed, was having a miserable time of it lately, which was especially inconvenient because there’d never been more scrutiny on the administration before this particular moment.

Matt was, technically, campaign staff but he’d been on the payroll longer than anyone else, because he’d been doing polling for them for a while now and they’d just decided to extend his contract and fold it into their re-election efforts. So far, he was keeping his head above water and wasn’t getting embroiled in the stupid little pissing matches happening elsewhere, which was impressive. He’d also been pitching in and helping with the announcement speech where he could, but there were a lot of egos to soothe or flatter in that area and it wasn’t what they were specifically paying him to do. Still, Foggy’s been pleased so far watching him navigate these tense situations and remain professional and undeterred in spite of them. It’s partly because Foggy had been the one to recommend Matt in the first place that he feels such obvious pride, but it’s hard to ignore that there’s another reason for it. He’s trying to make peace with the fact that he’s more than incidentally in love with Matt and constant proximity is not tempering it at all. In fact, seeing Matt every day now and watching him succeed at the thing he loves doing makes Foggy so absurdly happy, it’s almost like these professional victories are happening to him by proxy. Which means, in terms of ever getting past this unfortunate crush, Foggy is monumentally fucked.

“You should have come over,” Matt says, still talking about his game of pool with Karen, oblivious to Foggy’s inner torment. “She said you would, when you got back.”

“I didn’t want to interrupt anything.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“I’m bad company tonight,” Foggy says, spreading his arms out defensively.

“You’re never bad company, as far as I can tell.”

“What did I ever do to earn such loyalty from you? Just let me call myself an asshole, man.”

Matt sighs, disappointed. “You made one mistake, Foggy. You’ve got to—”

“I made a mistake that could cost us the election!”

“It could, but that doesn’t mean it will! It’s still early and we’ve got a lot of ground to cover. And, more importantly, you got the Justice Department 30 million dollars to go after the tobacco industry! That’s what they asked you to do! That’s a victory! Why don’t you see that?”

“Because there was a larger victory that I left on the table in my need to get anything done in this fucking town,” Foggy says. “I mean, not this town. We’re in Bumblefuck, New Hampshire. But you know…”

“Yeah, believe it or not, I followed that,” Matt says, unimpressed. “And smaller victories are nothing to scoff at. I think you’ve been in this business so long you’ve lost sight of that. Small victories are how you build your way up to bigger ones. In fact, most big victories are comprised of smaller ones. You’re good at what you do, Foggy. You know all this!”

“I don’t feel good at this anymore.”

“Yeah, well, speaking as someone who grew up around professional boxers, I’ll tell you that the right time to ask a man about his next fight is not when he’s just been K.O.’d. You’ve still got the flashlight in your eyes checking for a concussion. I wouldn’t make any career judgments right now.”

“You think we’ve been K.O.’d?” Foggy asks.

“I think the administration’s on its ass right now, for sure,” Matt replies, with the steely calm of a real political operative and Foggy’s pride in him is not misplaced even a little, “but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back up. The numbers I’m seeing are better than expected and they’re built on all the good you’ve done for the last three years. People will remember why they voted for you guys in the first place soon enough.”

“God, I hope you’re right.”

“I am and I think that earns me the right to say something that might hurt your feelings a bit.”

Foggy takes a fortifying sip of his drink, bracing himself. “Go for it, then.”

“As great as you are, this election won’t be won or lost on your actions alone,” Matt says, gently. “I know it’s tempting to decide that what you personally do or don’t do is the most important thing in the universe, to take every setback as a condemnation of your efforts and proof that you need to double down and do more, but you’re a part of a team. It’s not up to you to win this election by yourself. And it won’t be your fault and only yours if we don’t.”

“Why would that hurt my feelings?” Foggy asks, far too casually. He doesn’t know who he thinks he’s trying to fool here.

“Because it would hurt mine,” Matt says, “if our situations were reversed.”

Foggy understands that for what it is: an offer of a hand up off the ground, an acknowledgement that he and Matt are the same in this regard. It’s not nothing and he’d be wise to take what’s being given to him here, but he’s not quite there yet.

“I could have done more, Matt.”

“And you’ll have plenty of chances to do so. Tomorrow’s another day.”

“I think it’s always going to haunt me, the things we didn’t get through, the things we compromised on to appeal to our opposition. I think it’ll kill me, eventually.”

“You’ve done a lot of good too.”

“Yeah,” Foggy agrees, solemnly. “But enough? I’m not sure.”

Matt lets that sit, rather than trying to placate him with some sort of truism, which is nice. It’s meaningful to him that Matt knows this isn’t some empty question coming from him, that Foggy really means it when he asks it. He feels certain that this is something Matt worries about too, that this is a question Matt’s asked himself at the end of many days before. It’s dangerous, honestly, feeling this close to someone. This kind of intimacy isn’t something he feels capable of shaking off and pretending isn’t there, most of the time.

“You didn’t answer my question before, you know,” he says, eventually, even though it feels sacrilegious to break this particular silence.

“Which one?” Matt asks, shifting the cue back and forth between his hands in what could be a nervous tic or maybe he’s just bored with this conversation. It’s hard to tell.

“The one about what I did to earn such loyalty.”

Matt shrugs, staring into the middle distance. “You got me this job, didn’t you?”

“Not really,” Foggy says. “I remembered your name. That’s about it. Everything else was a result of your hard work.”

“Then, I guess it’s all for remembering my name.”

“That’s the real answer?”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Matt replies, leaning into his side. “If you win this game, I’ll give you the real answer.”

“I’d need a miracle for that to happen,” Foggy grumbles. “Are you sure I can’t just bribe you?”

“Okay, final offer,” Matt answers, with a cryptic smile, “you get the eight ball into any pocket on this turn and you win.”

“That’s a stupid bet, Murdock. Where did you learn to gamble?”

“Take it or leave it.”

“You’re winning seven to one. Are you out of your mind?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just that confident that you won’t be able to make the shot.”

“Or maybe you just really want to tell me your deepest, darkest secret.”

“My deepest, darkest secret has nothing to do with you, Foggy. You’re getting a shallow, well lit secret out of me in this bargain, if anything.”

“We’ll see,” Foggy replies, breezily, as he approaches the table to line up his shot. He doesn’t have Matt’s lithe sort of confidence or any kind of delusion that he’d paint a tempting picture right now even for someone who could see him, but he is stupidly determined, so he likes his odds in this situation just fine.

“Oh,” Matt interrupts, innocently, at the precise moment Foggy was going to pull his cue back and take the shot. “Since we’re now wagering on the outcome of this game, I should ask: what do I get?”

“What do you get?” Foggy repeats, irritated. He feels certain Matt timed that question to throw him off and he’s not pleased about it. “You’re going to beat me in the most humiliating way possible! What more do you need?”

“I’d like a secret too.”

“Fine, but you had better be satisfied with an equally shallow, well lit one from me too.”

“That kind of depends on what kind of secret you consider the answer to my question to be.”

“What question?”

“What made you remember my name?”

Foggy actually stands up to consider this fully. It’s hard to tell with Matt, if he’s aware of the way Foggy can’t help but flirt with him sometimes and how seriously he takes it. Matt gives as good as he gets, Foggy thinks, but whether he knows that Foggy would gladly make real on all the innuendo he throws at him is another matter. All of which just makes it that much more confusing why he’d make this request in the first place. Does he want flattery? Does he want some confirmation that the new opportunities in his career were gotten honestly? Or does he want Foggy to admit to something here? And why would he want that? To laugh at him? To clear the air? To prove his suspicions about why he got this job are true?

Foggy’s not prepared for any of those scenarios. Matt is maybe just joking around (though he certainly doesn’t look like it) but he’s asking for a bigger secret than he realizes. And Foggy will not be explaining that to him, because even that would be admitting too much. They’re going to be working together closely for a while yet and Foggy’s not going to ruin it now, not right out of the gate. He’s got more instinct for self-preservation than that.

“Fine,” he says, setting his sights on the eight ball again. “You have yourself a deal. Now, shut up and stop distracting me.”

Matt crosses his arms over his chest, looking self-satisfied and unconcerned. This expression changes into one of shock and disbelief at the sound of the eight ball landing in the middle pocket on the left side of the table.

“Like I said,” Foggy states, rounding the corner of the table, “that was a bad bet.”

“You cheated,” Matt exclaims.

“How?”

“I didn’t hear the cue touch the ball. Did you—did you just move the eight ball with your hand?!”

“Of course,” Foggy says, with a shrug. “You never said how I had to get the eight ball into the pocket, only that it had to happen on my next turn.”

Matt laughs in disbelief. “That’s ridiculous! And very clearly against the rules!”

“Not against the ones you set, though. Technically.”

“Yeah, technically, I guess,” Matt says. “But don’t you feel bad winning this way?”

“Of course not,” Foggy answers, gesturing widely with the cue still in his hands. “I’m a pathetic little man, Matthew.”

“Five minutes ago, I would have argued with that kind of negative self-talk, but I’m no longer feeling generous towards you at all.”

Foggy shrugs as he reaches past Matt for his drink. “I would totally understand if you didn’t want to uphold your end of the bargain, by the way. I mean, if our situations were reversed, I would still do it, but I’m a class act, through and through.”

“You’re a cheat is what you are,” Matt says, and it might be the inadequate lighting in here playing tricks on him, but Foggy thinks there might be color rising in Matt’s cheeks. “This is why no one trusts anyone in Washington, you know.”

“I know,” Foggy says, indulgently. “Like I said, it’s up to you. But you’ll also recall I warned you never to put something on the table that you don’t want your opponent to accept.”

“I didn’t mind the idea of you winning, I just didn’t think you’d cheat to get it!”

“Then you underestimated how baffled I am by your loyalty to me.”

“You shouldn’t be,” Matt says, leaning back to rest more fully against the table behind him. “I think it’s obvious why I’d…what makes me feel that way towards you.”

“That’s still not an answer,” Foggy replies, at the same moment he realizes Matt leaning back didn’t put that much space between them after all. He’d gotten pretty close to reach for his drink and, maybe, just to push this conversation from trash talk more firmly into flirting territory. For someone who doesn’t want to fuck things up, he’s really pushing his luck.

Matt exhales noisily, and Foggy can feel it on his neck, that’s how close they’re standing. They’re in a bar, of course, so they have their excuses. It’s noisy, with the patrons and the jukebox and the TVs. They could need privacy, given the jobs they have and the sensitive nature of the information they have access to as part of them. But that’s not why Foggy’s doing this and he suspects that, even if he’s just following Foggy’s lead, Matt doesn’t ultimately have a better reason.

“Why did you remember me?” Matt asks, quietly. “I mean, me, of all people? What made me stand out? What did I do right?”

Everything, Foggy wants to say. You do everything right. You’re smart and conscientious and charming and everyone likes you and everyone remembers you and you’ve got a mind and mouth that won’t quit and an ass to match. Remembering you wasn’t the hard part. Forgetting you someday will be. “Matthew Murdock,” Foggy says, carefully, appreciatively, like he’s really savoring every vowel and consonant. “Very alliterative. Extremely easy to remember.”

Matt’s answering smile is slow-dawning to the point of decadence and he tucks his chin to hide it. “My middle name is Michael, you know.”

“Goddammit,” Foggy groans, because he can’t say what he’s really thinking, which is, come back to my room and I’ll make sure you never want to leave. He’s so fucking in love, it’s honestly stupid.

“As for me,” Matt says, a moment later, after careful consideration, “and what you did—why I feel so—what you asked, I mean…”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just that—”

A loud, chirping ringtone severs the tenuous connection of the moment. Foggy stares openly at Matt’s face as he doesn’t react to the interruption at all beyond stopping talking mid-sentence. After a few tense seconds, Foggy clears his throat and steps back.

“I think that’s you, Matt.”

Matt blinks, like he’s waking for a dream and he doesn’t know where he is. “Right,” he says, without confidence and fishes his phone out of his pocket. He holds it like he doesn’t remember owning such a thing in the first place for a long moment before he flips it open to answer it.

“Hello?” he asks, frowning in concentration. “Oh, Nadia, hi. Yeah, no, not too late, don’t worry. Can you give me one second?”

He pulls the phone away from his ear and puts his hand over the receiver before addressing Foggy. “We’re doing some polling of potential voters on the West Coast tonight, and they need to give me the early data.”

“Right.”

“The speech writing team is going to want this information tomorrow. It will impact the messaging.”

“Understood,” Foggy nods. “You, uh, need to take this, then.”

“Yeah, sorry,” Matt admits, looking apologetic.

“Don’t worry. Cell service is a little better outside, if that helps.”

Matt frowns briefly before his expression clears and he nods briskly. “Thanks. That might be a good idea.”

“I’ll, um, clean this up,” Foggy says, gesturing to the pool table. “You go ahead.”

“Alright,” Matt says, chewing his lip. “Will you head out after that?”

“I might. I could, I guess. Why?”

“No reason.”

“You want me to wait? Walk back to the hotel with you when you’re done?”

“You don’t have to,” Matt responds, looking awkward. It’s a nice out, and it would probably be better to put a little space between them—it’s just too tempting for Foggy to be around Matt like this, late at night, in casual environments, with alcohol and dumb wagers blurring the lines between them that should be crystal clear.

“I’ll wait,” he says, instead, hating the sincerity in his voice. “I don’t mind waiting.”

The worst part is that it’s the most honest thing he’s said all night.

#HWS30days #homelywenchsociety #im not sure this will make any sense to anyone except me or who hasn’t seen tww but…here we are #tww au #series: a more perfect union #daredevil #mattfoggy #matt murdock #foggy nelson #matt x foggy #i don’t know the actual rules of pool everyone forgive me i just let them make shit up #also I’m not sure it makes sense for Matt to still be good at pool in a no powers AU #but him being a slutty pool shark is really important to me #so it stays #30 day challenge #writing challenge #this is so long RIP

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wttcsms · 2 months

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sorry if you're not comfortable answering this, but I saw you say that you've been diagnosed with depression. how did you know when to seek help?

tl;dr: from a young age, i never lived a healthy lifestyle with an easy pace. i (and maybe even my family) put too much pressure on me, and i never really coped with it in a healthy manner. my attempt at handling things "with ease" and "not stressing" was actually just me bottling up my emotions, and it's not until things started getting really bad that i finally sought help.

nothing uncomfy abt it at all! discussion of mental health is pretty important! tbh, i never thought i would have depression or be diagnosed with it; i started showing symptoms for around a year before i started really thinking to myself, hey, i think there might be something up with me mentally and this isn't just some silly, quirky thing i'm going through. ever since i was around 18, i went through great lengths to ensure i would achieve maximum academic success but while being a full-time college student and consistently working 60+ hours a week (70+ during the summer bc my junior year internship was so intense; i also went to college 2 years early, so i think that's when the internal pressure to "do well in life" began) was taking a massive toll on me mentally and physically. i would survive off of 4-5 hours of sleep, consume concerning amounts of caffeine, i was losing hair, i was losing drastic amounts of weight, i was breaking out and breaking down, and even when i got better, i still wasn't fully ever healed from that experience purely bc my schedule just never slowed down.

i am still a full-time student, i am still working 7 days a week, leading to 60+ hours (40 hours internship, 20 hours at my weekend part-time job). on top of that, i am in the second to last semester of my grad school, i help out around the house bc after my older sister moved out, i took over the eldest daughter duties, i am still holding myself to a very high standard academically (already planning to apply to phd programs, studying for the cpa exam, already have another summer internship lined up). i knew things were getting bad because 1) i am finally older (im abt to turn 21! yay!) and i realized that the lifestyle i'm living isn't healthy and 2) a lot of my behaviors didn't feel "normal" to me anymore. it finally hit me around two months ago, when i realized that i sort of lost my love for fanfiction. i've been in a weird mood where i didn't want to read any fanfic whatsoever, but i chalked it up to being "too busy" and focused on other things. when i couldn't even find the energy to read my own mutual's fanfic, i knew something was up bc i always try to power through and remain enthusiastic on my friends' behalf. more behaviors that were a cause for concern:

my disinterest in everything that brought me joy previously. sweet treats at the end of the day, coffee before work, buying makeup from sephora, cleaning my room (sounds silly, but i love having a clean living space and cleaning my room used to be a source of peace and joy for me), writing fanfiction, reading books, watching youtube videos, catching up on shows that would release weekly and that i used to count down the days to watch — none of it held my interest. i wasn't excited, i didn't care.

it wasn't just a lack of joy from things i loved, either. rejections from programs i looked forward to/rejections from opportunities, abysmal grades in class, looming deadlines that i most likely wouldn't make, growing assignments on my work to-do list; none of this elicited a reaction from me. there was no stress (that i was feeling; subconsciously, i think the stress was still there and i just refused to acknowledge it), but there also wasn't disappointment or sadness. i had no emotional response to anything, and that was very concerning to me, and the main reason i contacted my sister and then her boyfriend (who is a licensed psychiatrist)

i could sleep for 12+ hours a day. there are many days in the week where all i want to do is rot in bed. not even in a "go on my phone and dick around in bed" type of way, either. i would have certain days where i couldn't leave the bed. sometimes, i wouldn't even feel tired, but i would just sleep. my internship is wfh and if it was a slow day with no assignments, i would clock in and spend that whole day in my bed, sleeping. it got to the point where i wish work was busy so i would have something to force me out of bed. yes, i would be aware of my tiredness sometimes, but this felt different altogether. i just wanted to basically hibernate lol.

i had constant headaches. i thought it was because of the nature of my job, where i look at computer screens all day, or maybe it was bc i wasn't drinking enough water. i would also get unexplainable cramps sometimes.

tmi, but little to no pleasure and an extreme decline in interest in sex

i had extreme issues with focusing on work and studying; a lot of my work (and school materials) centers around thinking through problems and applying tax law or guidance to certain situations.

my diet fluctuated; some days, i wouldn't want to eat, yesterday, i gorged myself on food, eating to the point where even i had to pause and go wtf.

not very often was i randomly sad, nor did i ever want to kill myself or self-harm; when i was a teenager (17/18) and probably showing signs of depression, i was very irritable, angry, sad, and had suicidal thoughts, thought i was worthless, an idiot, etc. however, i mostly just feel empty and apathetic during my episodes now.

what helped me seek help was knowing that my behaviors and how i was feeling didn't feel healthy, but also, my best friend recently shared her diagnosis with me and i would have never thought she would be depressed. my sister's bf was also a major help in getting me comfortable to consider the possibility of having a mental illness and also in finding someone to talk to. hope this helps!

edit: forgot to mention it, but i exhibited many/all of those symptoms for around the past 3 months before ever seeking help. those behaviors started manifesting tremendously and seriously disrupting my daily life, and i knew i needed to do something to get my life back on track.

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virgoilluminati · 11 months

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One Shot List

Heya, so after the end of Belongings I am planning to have a little break from fanfic series’s to focus on doing smaller fics. But knowing me… they’ll end up becoming short series’s of their own. 😆

So the plan is basically, requests for anyone on my masterlist is open, so just ask me what prompt you would like and who you would like it for, and I’ll write you a fic. ❣️❣️❣️ Been wanting to do this for a while so please send me requests (even if they’re not on this list too). I don’t bite…. (Or do I hehe😏) JK I DON’T I PROMISE

Here’s the prompt list:

1. "You're hair is really soft after you wash it."

2. Ssh. Stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair."

3. You smell really nice."

4. "Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.

5. 'I might have slept with your robe when you were gone."

6. "If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you."

7. Here, let's share the blanket.

8. You're comfy."

9. You are my new pillow."

I0. "You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.

11. "But I want to hear you sing.

12. "We can talk over dinner."

13. "Don't be stubborn. Try it!"

14. "Don't get up - I'll do it."

15. "Will you let me rub your back?"

16: "Care to give me a back scratch?"

17. "Star-gazing was a good idea."

18. "You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight."

19. "I'll always be here for you.

20. "TIl be here to protect you."

21. "I think I love you."

22. "You are my love."

23. "How about something warm? It will will help you sleep.

24. "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

25. "Don't be silly. I want to stay up with you.

26. It is not morning yet."

27. "Shush and go back to bed."

28. "I heard you talking in your sleep."

29. "Your bed head is really cute.

30. "We'll do dishes together.

31. "How about a kiss?"

32. “I love your hugs."

33. "Come over here and make me.

34. "Have you lost your damn mind!?"

35. "Please, don't leave."

36. "Do you...well...I mean...I could give you a massage?"

37. "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"

38. "Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

39. "I almost lost you."

40. "Wanna bet?"

41. "Don't you ever do that again!"

42. "Teach me how to play?"

43. "Don't you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!"

44. "I think we need to talk."

45. "Kiss me."

46. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always."

47. "So, I found this waterfall..."

48. "It could be worse."

49. "Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..

50. "This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in."

51. "The paint's supposed to go where?"

52. "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."

53. "We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?"

54. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice."

55. "You come here often?"

56. "Can I offer you a drink?"

57. "So.. You expecting someone?"

58. "Do you need a place to stay for tonight?"

59. "I gotta tell you... you look incredibly hot.

60. "Do you want to dance with me?"

61. "Look at us... we are basically a couple already."

62. "I bet you would look even better without your clothes on."

63. "Are you single? Just asking."

64. "You're the most beautiful person I have ever encountered."

65. "What would you say if you and me would go somewhere else?"

66. "I love the way you're dressed."

67. "Do I have any chances with you?"

68. "Do you have anything better to do later?"

69. "Can I get your phone number?"

70. "You seem like a bad boy/girl/person type."

71. "I can do whatever you want, babe."

72. "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."

73. "I bet guys/gals/people are all over you.

74. "You should be a model."

75. "Are you... trying to flirt with me?"

76. "Maybe if I get a free drink I can consider talking to you."

77. "That won't work. Try again."

78. "Oh my god, did you just say that out loud?"

79. "I'm waiting for someone. However, you can amuse me in the meanwhile."

80 "You don't look so bad yourself."

81. "I thought you were taken."

82. "So, have you flirted with every girl/boy/one in this bar yet?"

83. "Do I look like someone who seems interested in you?"

84. "Compliments won't pay my drinks."

41 notes · View notes

arrieebooks · 1 year

Text

Precious Weapon (5)

Pairing : Lloyd Hansen x F!OC (Elle) x Sierra Six.

Summary : She's faced with reality the next morning as she realized what Lloyd did for her. They got out together for the very first time to distract her. Their first time.

Warnings : Mentions of detailed murder. PTSD. Guilt. References to her painkiller addiction. Anger. Vomit. Angst. Cursing. Arguing. Fear. Fluff. Filth. Eventual smut. Threesome. Anal sex. Fingering. Hand job. Dirty talk. Nudity.

Word count : 18.8k words.

Author's note : Had a little bit of a writer's block writing this chapter but I'm back now. This takes place the morning after chapter 4.

***

She doesn't remember when was the last time that her life was ever good or when she was actually happy.

Not until now, at least.

She's had small moments with her friends and people around her, but she was never really happy. She never got to be herself around them. She's always had to put on a fake smile and a mask.

They never actually knew what was really going on with her. The pain that she had to endure for years and years that no one knew or noticed. She had to handle it all by herself.

It got even more miserable when they asked her what was wrong and she had to say that she was fine because she couldn't tell them what was actually going on. She really wished she could. So she always felt alone.

That certainly wasn't happiness for her.

"I'm happy." Elle suddenly murmurs softly against Six's chest as they're both lying down and snuggled together on their couch with her blanket spread all over them. They both seem comfy.

It's early in the morning and they both just woke up from their rooms and decided that they still want to stay in bed but together. The living room was a better option than his room or her room for lesser temptations — but it's not like they couldn't just fuck over here. It's exactly what Lloyd and Elle did last night, right in this very same living room.

Lloyd is still fast asleep, she could hear it from his bedroom.

Their couch is faced with the morning view of the city. It already looks chaotic and crowded down there even though it's still around 9 am in the morning. This city never rests, no matter what time it is. Six remembers seeing a whole traffic going on at 2 am when he was getting water from the kitchen. He'll never understand how this city is so fucking packed. It's overpopulated at this point.

She's leaning her head on his chest as their legs are tangled together and he rests his arm around her. She's still half sleepy and not fully awake yet. Six was already awake the moment he woke up. He can never just go back to sleep once he wakes up — he was trained to always be alert, no matter where he is. He can never relax, his body is always telling him that he can't be relaxed.

Six looks down at her and his lips slowly stretches into a soft smile before planting a kiss on her forehead. "That's good," he whispers as his hand strokes her lower back.

"Are you?" she sleepily asks.

Is he happy now? He doesn't even know how to answer her question. He can't recall when he was ever happy either. He doesn't think he's ever experienced true, real happiness. This situation is not exactly normal to be a source of happiness but it's the most normal he'll ever get in his whole life. It doesn't really matter to him what the situation is, he knows this one is really fucked up but at least, he has her.

He lets out a soft laugh through his nose as his smile widens. "Maybe. How happy are you?" Six asks her back.

She shrugs weakly. "I don't know. Very?"

Six chuckles, looking down to her as her eyes are already almost closed. "I need you to be more specific than that, Elle." he murmurs.

Elle shuts her eyes and lets herself relax against his body as she sighs softly. "I've never been happier. Not like this. It's new, but I like it." She admits, coming out as a whisper.

He sees her finally asleep again and he kisses her temple. "You can still sleep, if you want. I'll still be here when you're awake." Six assures her, softly.

She slowly nods. "Yeah, I need to sleep more…" she mumbles weakly before sleep takes over her completely.

Six looks down at her again to see her fully asleep and he could tell that she's deep in her dreams already by how relaxed and still she is against him. He enjoys seeing her like this. Peaceful. Calm. It's sort of weird to like watching someone sleep but he doesn't care. He likes seeing her get what she deserves. She deserves all the sleep she can get after all the shit she's been through these past couple of weeks.

He can't fall back to sleep now so he'll just stay here until she wakes up again. He can do that. He can remain unmoved for just a few hours. He's always had to do that during all of his missions but this is different. Very different. He never could do this with anyone — just stay in and relax. He can't even do it himself. He doesn't think that sleep is for relaxing purposes. It's just a necessity for the body so it doesn't get all drowsy and sleepy that ruins his daily activity in a day.

It's already been almost two weeks that he's been in this country, in this penthouse. He's never stayed this long in one country before. The longest he's been in a country was not a third world country but one of the CIA stations which wasn't a challenge at all. He never even thought that he would be here, of all places. But here he is anyway and he isn't exactly complaining, because for once in the eighteen years of working for the agency, he could finally let himself relax, at least for a little bit.

He knows this isn't exactly going to last forever. It's just for a few months, but he is hoping that it'll be longer than that. He doesn't want to…leave her. Like ever. In a couple months from now, she'll be in Langley and he'll be in some other random country. Back to his old days when he doesn't even know where he'll be the next day or what kind of mission he'll be assigned to each day.

He's never complained. He shouldn't. Because he knows that this was his only less horrible option. He was given a death sentence from the CIA. Rot in prison for the rest of his life or kill anyone for them. He definitely did not want to stay in prison and die there. He'd rather die on a CIA mission. So that's what he chose. At least he'd die out in the world and not in some dirty jail cell, miserably, not having lived his life yet at all.

He's accepted that this is how his life is and he should be thankful that he's even still alive until now — after all the near death experiences he's had before. It doesn't even shock him anymore, it has become a routine for every mission. He knows it's always going to happen, no matter how careful he'd be.

From a distance, Six could hear Lloyd's bedroom door gently open and he thinks it's the first time he's ever heard him be gentle with an inanimate object. He's always so rough and angry. But now, he could sense that Lloyd is slightly better now. He's a little happy even though he won't ever admit it. Having Elle in his life does that to him.

Lloyd walks into their kitchen and stops in his tracks as he sees Six and Elle cuddled up on the couch.

Six looks at him and presses his index finger on his lips, telling him to shut up so he doesn't wake her up. He walks closer to them and just notices that she's asleep.

"Good morning." Lloyd softly whispers, his lips slowly turning into a small grin at the sight of them.

What a view.

"She just fell asleep." Six tells him, whispering as well.

He nods, sitting on the spare space beside her on the couch. Lloyd looks down at her, staring closely at her asleep face and how comfortable she is against Six's body. He wonders if she'll ever be this comfortable with him, seeing as they don't exactly offer each other comfort. It's purely lust and passion. If it came down to comfort, Six will always be her comfort and they all know that.

"She's too fucking beautiful. Even when asleep." Lloyd remarks quietly while his fingers gently brush her hair away from her face.

Six's lips slowly tug into a small smile. "Yeah. She's like that." he mumbles.

He looks up at him. "What should we do today? I was thinking if we could take her out, you know, anywhere but this penthouse. I feel like we've trapped her here for too long." he suggests, really unlike him.

Six nods. "That's nice. Got any places you have in mind?" he asks.

Lloyd softly snorts. "No. I have no fucking clue what to do in this city. Maybe, I could call the chopper and take us to a nearby country. What are your suggestions? Singapore? Oh, or maybe that famous island, two hours from here by plane. What's it called…it's all over the internet."

Six furrows his brows lightly, trying to figure out what he's talking about. "Is it…Bali? Or something else—"

He cuts him off. "No, yeah, that's right. Bali. That's the name of it. Should we go there today? I could still book the chopper and our hotel in time if I do it now."

He tilts his head to the side. "Are you sure? I mean, we're not here on a vacation. I just think if we go there, we won't want to go home."

Lloyd ignores him, opening his phone to search for something there. "Yep. I won't want to go home if the place looks like this," he says, turning his phone around to Six as it shows a picture of a beautiful beach in Bali, one of the islands in Indonesia that has become a really famous tourist attraction.

But they're forgetting one thing. Bali is where her parents moved after abandoning her here. It's a nice place but she's always refused to go there.

Lloyd turns his phone to him again and a small smirk grows on his lips. "It's paradise. Fucking there all night in some private villa with a view of the beach would be paradise." he teases, trying to plant the idea in his head.

It's early. Why does he always choose the earliest hours to tease Elle or Six? It's like he needs to do it every single day or his routine isn't complete.

Six sighs softly. "I just don't think we should. Plus, a tiny vacation won't help fix our problems."

He rolls his eyes. "I know. Which is why I'm trying to tell her that I'm not a completely bad person. I can be…nice. When I want to. Just for her."

"There are other ways, Lloyd. You can start by proving to her that what you were doing was just to protect her. Because I'd do the same. You know that." Six tells him in a serious tone while his hand strokes her back gently.

He would. And he'd probably kill them worse than Lloyd. He has a few brutal techniques to make death really painful. Also, he'd clean it up until the house is squeaky clean and the crime scene is non-existent. He wouldn't just hide the bodies, he'll actually get rid of the bodies until it isn't even a body anymore. It'll just be a bunch of…ashes flushed down a random toilet somewhere in a restaurant in Jakarta or thrown in the only beach here that they have.

Except, she doesn't know any of that. She is completely clueless of who he actually is and she thinks she knows him, but she doesn't. He has protected her from the truth because scaring her is the least thing he wants.

He can be discreet. As always. He was trained that way. To be quiet and still do the job right.

Lloyd can't be discreet. He likes things loud. It's better for him. And it'll make everyone fear him, in which he wants. But it's just the way he is. He can't change himself even if he wanted to.

Lloyd gently scoffs. "But she doesn't know that, does she? She doesn't know that you and I are just the same when it comes to murdering people. I'm the bad guy in her story. You're the good one." he accuses, softly.

Six shakes his head. "You're not. If you were the bad guy for her, she wouldn't have kissed you last night. I know she kissed you first."

"Oh. Well. Maybe because she got heated at that moment and I was there, leaning close to her against that window." Lloyd assumes, his finger pointing to the window.

Six doesn't even see where his finger is pointing at because he remembers exactly where it was. It was a sight he'll never forget. "It wasn't just last night. She has wanted you way before that." he tells him.

"Yeah, she told me you and her were going to propose something to me. To share her. Honestly, you could've told me first, Six." Lloyd says, still whispering.

"I wanted to respect her decision." Six says. He always does what she wants. That's why they never fight or argue about anything. They're always in sync together.

Lloyd sighs softly. "You always do. And that's probably why you're the good guy."

"I'm not a good guy. You know that."

"I do. But she doesn't."

"She doesn't need to know the truth. Do you want to scare her?" Six asks back, whispering as softly as possible.

He frowns. "Of course not. I don't want her to be scared of us. But she will, once she knows. I mean she hasn't even gotten used to it all. She's supposed to be more scared of the CIA. What it'll do to her. It'll…change her, Six. You know that it changed us." Lloyd says.

Six nods slowly. "I know. It did."

"But it's not like we could do anything about it. She's chosen her path. She wants this." he states.

"There's nothing else we could do, Lloyd. The upside is at least, she won't have to go through it alone. She has us." Six says, pausing before looking down at her bare face, staring at her longer. He pushes her hair away from her face and plants a soft kiss on her forehead, again.

She looks so innocent. He feels bad for what's about to change her. It'll ruin her. She won't be the same anymore. He doesn't even want to imagine what it would be like. He likes who she is now. She's the only thing in his life that's the closest to normal. He's seen how her life is — normal and mundane and far from the violence of the world. He doesn't want to change her life but he can't do anything anymore, she chose her path and it's already too late. She's already in the shit. Deep in the shit.

Lloyd nods, humming in response. "Yeah, she's lucky she has us." he whispers while he stares down at her too, his lips slowly forming into a really tiny small that Six sees.

He doesn't usually smile genuinely, for anyone. He smiles, sure. But it's always sarcastic and threatening smiles. Not the real smile when he's actually happy because he usually is never happy. Nothing really satisfies him enough to be actually happy. Until now. Until her.

That's why he calls her precious so much.

Suddenly, she stirs in her sleep and moves her body. She slowly opens her eyes to wake up. Lloyd immediately retreats away from her as Six frowns at his actions.

Six looks at her gently waking up as she fully opens her eyes, searching for him. His lips tug into a soft smile. "You're awake," he whispers before giving her lips a quick peck.

"We've been talking about you." Lloyd announces himself as she turns her head to him, not noticing that he's been here the whole time.

Elle sleepily smiles at him. "Hey, morning. Didn't realize you were here. Come here," she murmurs, her hand reaching out to him.

He frowns confusedly. He doesn't do morning affections — emphasis on the affections. He doesn't do that. He can't do that because he has no idea how to. He's never done it before with anyone. He's never had girlfriends or women he's stayed long enough to get into that stage. He knows Elle's had a lot of ex boyfriends before and that she's a touchy person. She likes to give affection and receive it, too. He never thought that she would expect this from him.

He thought that she and him would just be purely sexual. But that's not what she wants. Knowing her, she's the type of a girl to want everything in a relationship. He thought that being with her would just mean he gets a small share of her from Six, not actually becoming a part of their relationship or thing.

Because if he is part of their relationship as well, then it means he'll be involved in everything a couple does (or a throuple in this case) and it also means this is going to be his first ever relationship. He doesn't even know what to do in a relationship.

They aren't even sure if this is considered a relationship or not.

Lloyd hesitates and she could already see it in his eyes. Even Six sees it. He's never seen him so…nervous before. It scares him. This scares him — a serious and committed relationship.

"I want you, Lloyd. Come here," Elle insists as she gingerly pulls his hand towards her but because she doesn't even realize how strong she is, his body gets pulled down and leans onto hers.

Their bodies bump into each other and their faces are inches apart. His eyes slowly look down at her brown ones. She was too fucking beautiful. He feels so lucky to get to be this close with her, first thing in the damn morning.

She widens her eyes and giggles. "Oh, shit. Sorry, didn't realize how strong I was and I—" she rambles softly before his eyes move down to stare at her lips and without hesitation, Lloyd covers his mouth with hers and cups her face.

He kisses her softly. Sweeter than usual. He hasn't had his morning coffee or breakfast yet to have the energy to be rough with her. But even in his softer version, she could still sense his harshness as his teeth slowly nibbled on her lower lips but her lips didn't bleed.

Six stares at them and smiles. He actually fucking smiles with all his teeth shiny and his dimples showing. He's as happy as he can ever remember. He's glad and grateful that things are peaceful. His two closest people have finally stopped fighting and made up. More than made up.

She softly whimpers as he's been kissing her for too long now and she almost can't breathe. "Lloyd," Elle whispers against his mouth as he slowly pulls away from her lips and breaks the kiss.

Lloyd leans back from her and observes her like this. She's so flustered and he could see her cheeks are slightly blushing. She's so turned on by all this and he knows it. He knows her.

His lips slowly grow into a smirk as he continues to stare at her. "Morning, Elle. Breakfast?" he casually asks.

Six nods at him. "Yes. I'm starving."

Elle squints her eyes at him. "Since when do you know how to cook? The last time that you tried cooking breakfast, it was in my house and you nearly burned my kitchen just by frying the bacon." She reminds him.

"Who said I was cooking? I'm going to take us anywhere you want. Just name a restaurant and we'll be there." Lloyd declares with a proud smile on his lips.

She softly grunts. "No…I don't want to go anywhere. I don't feel good. My body feels weird after yesterday's mission."

He immediately straightens up and checks her body. So does Six. Both of their eyes search her body, there's no injury but if she's saying she's still hurt then she is. They'll believe anything she tells them, no matter what. She doesn't feel right with her body. She feels like it's different. She's not exactly in pain, but it just feels like something's off for her. Her body's never felt like this before. It must've been because of how strong the blast was yesterday.

"We should call the doctor then. Get you checked up." Lloyd says in a serious tone.

"No, no need. I think I'm fine. I just need a little rest. I'd like to just stay here for the rest of the day. Is that okay?" Elle softly asks him, her eyes looking up at him.

Lloyd's lips form into a thin line to assure her as he nods his head. "Of course. I'll just order in for breakfast. Plus, we have so many things to do in this tiny penthouse. There's a mini theater room and a pool—oh, right, I forgot to tell you guys that we got a third floor just for the pool. Just for us." he tells them.

She smiles at him and then looks at Six, who's still looking at her, worried and concerned for her health. She holds his hand and squeezes it gently to reassure him.

Elle turns to Lloyd. "It doesn't really matter what kind of things we could do here, Lloyd. We're together. That's all that matters." She looks at the bright side.

He grins at her as she slowly gets up and sits up in front of him. "Sure, sunshine. As long as you're here." Lloyd states.

"He's right." Six agrees with him.

Her smile grows wider while she glances at the both of them, happily. She's thinking of the last time that she's ever been happy like this but…she can't think of any. It's not there. This is the only time where she's happy and comfortable at the same time, not having to think about all her problems or the harsh truth of her life.

She's done so many things to avoid her reality, her trauma, her past, her fucked up and lonely life. She's tried a lot of coping mechanisms. Friends, boyfriends, sex, pain killers, painting, science and she's even tried to pretend that her life is good and everything's okay. So many things to get out of her life but it's never worked. Sure, it worked for a while. But she was never happy that way. Because it wasn't real. It was just a way to get out of reality.

This is real. And, maybe it is all of their coping mechanisms, not just hers. There's too much tension in their line of work. They need a safe home to come home to and a stress relief. Because most of the agents working in the agency end up being mentally deranged after all the shit they had to witness and do. Six and Lloyd have been doing this for almost two decades now and they're…partially fine, at the very least.

"Okay. I'm going to shower." Elle declares as she rises from the couch and stands up, walking away from them before she turns around. "Wait. You do know how to order here…right?" she asks him.

Lloyd nods at her. "Of course. I mean, I won't understand a single word of their broken English or Indonesian but…Six will help me. He said you taught him a few phrases in Indonesian and he's a fast learner so." he says, confidently.

Six is a fast and eager learner. He likes learning all kinds of languages and actually enjoys studying it. He speaks it well, too. He has a different accent for every language he fluently speaks. He was really excited (deep inside) when Elle was teaching him some of the basic Indonesian words and the slangs, too.

She breaks into a chuckle. "Okay, okay. I trust you. Both of you. Just...don't mess up our orders." she warns them with a gleeful smile still displayed on her lips.

Six nods, his eyes staring into hers. "We won't. Promise." he flatly says, as usual. She's not surprised by his flat tone anymore but at least it means that he's serious about it and won't mess it up.

She knows him too well by now. He likes that she does.

***

The burning hot water hits her skin and she quietly hums softly, enjoying the sensation of it on her bare body. She stands still like this in the shower for a while as she closes her eyes to relax.

She likes her water this way. Burning hot or freezing cold. There's nothing in between.

It's relaxing for her. She loves the feeling.

It isn't too hot for her, it just feels warm to her body. The kind of warmth that's perfect for her condition since she's immune to pain.

Sometimes, she wishes that she isn't fully invincible. She wants to feel normal human pain once in a while, feel what it's like to experience actual pain and not the decreased pain that she always feels. She just wants to be…normal. That's the only thing she's ever wanted — a normal life, normal parents, a normal body, normal emotions.

Finally, after a few minutes, she opens her eyes and removes her face from the water. She grabs her shampoo, pour it onto her palm and quickly scrubs all of it on her hair.

Her eyes turn to her side, a small window near her shower that has the view of the whole city, too. She's actually beginning to like this penthouse. It allows her to see the city every single day. Back in her house, she could only see houses and houses from her window — which wasn't a really nice view.

She likes this place. The feeling of it, too. It almost feels like a second home for her. Her first home didn't really feel like home for her, at first. Because of all the bad memories there from her parents and her past. It just always felt like a constant reminder of them and she almost wanted to burn it all down. She could've moved somewhere else and bought a house, just for her. But she didn't.

She was strong enough to try and forget the memories in that house and move past everything. It was her house now and she wanted to make new memories herself, replacing all the bad ones with the good ones.

The thing that makes a home actually feel like home are the people inside of it. And this places feels like home for her because of them. They feel like home for her.

***

Elle wraps her body with her towel after drying herself as she proceeds to walk in this small bathroom of hers.

Her bathroom is pretty ample, actually. It's only a shower at the very corner, the toilet next to the door and the sink in the middle of the shower and the toilet. It's all white and modern and very luxurious, for her, at least. She's still not used to all this.

But she does know that Six and Lloyd have a way bigger bathroom than hers. Both have a bathtub in it and much more space. They don't even need all of that space. She does want to try and shower there once in a while to enjoy the wide space but she knows that they haven't reached that stage yet. Not even with Six. Sure, Lloyd has seen her fully naked but showering together is an entirely different thing. It's more…intimate. Intimacy means affection. They're not there yet. Plus, after showering together, it would usually lead to sharing a bathroom together, eventually.

And they're definitely not there yet either.

She pulls the door handle and walks out of her bathroom, mindlessly. She blinks and frowns before thinking that she heard something came into her room or maybe it was just in her head. Because sometimes, she has hallucinations — but it's only happened a few times, not a lot.

She turns to her room and almost screams at the surprise guest sitting on her bed. She softly gasps as she widens her eyes and puts her hand on her chest.

Lloyd quietly smirks, enjoying her reaction as his elbows lean back on her bed. His eyes travel across her towel covered body, studying every inch of it and remembering how it was fully bare, last night. He swallows thickly, trying not to get hard right at this moment. It's hard to hide an erection in these beige trousers of his.

She takes a glance at him and of course, his hair is already neat and slicked back as usual. His regular outfit is on, the fancy polo shirt and trousers combination. His stache is a little trimmed than usual. She's guessing it's because he knows it's a little ticklish for her when they kiss — she doesn't mind, though. She likes the feeling of it.

"Jesus, Lloyd! You scared me. Could've been an intruder, you know." Elle exaggerates.

He rolls his eyes as his elbows move to lean on his knees. "That's not going to happen here. You know that. It's nearly impossible to break into this place. Into our place." Lloyd makes it clear for her while his eyes stay on hers.

She gulps and nods. "Yeah, okay. Cool. What are you doing here?" she asks.

His lips stretch into a small and quick smile. "The food just came. I got your favorite. Scrambled eggs, bacon and french toast, right? I also got you some pancakes."

She blinks confusedly. "Oh. That was fast."

"It's because you take too long to shower."

"Well, maybe it would've been quicker if my bathroom was a little bigger to move around." she retorts.

Lloyd frowns. "Really? Thought you were okay with it." he says, standing up from her bed as he steps closer to her.

Her fingers tug the end of her towel as tight as possible so it doesn't suddenly drop down while he gets even closer and closer to her. He finally stops in front of her, leaving enough space. Not too close and not too far, either.

"You know, you could always shower in mine or Six's. None of us mind." Lloyd thoughtfully says.

She scoffs gently. "Oh, right. I'm sure you would beg to differ. You'd get a nice view of me, showering naked, from your room."

His smirk turns bigger. "Hm. True. It is a very nice one." he teases while his eyes drop down to her body and he's making it really obvious now as she follows his eyes.

He just can't stop thinking about how tempting this whole situation is. Her towel could just drop at any moment or he could just grip it and remove it for her, forcefully. He knows she'd like that. But it's not…right. At least not right now. She doesn't want that now. She needs to figure this all out first.

Lloyd averts his gaze back to her and all of a sudden, she could feel how intense he's staring at her now. She could feel the clear sexual tension between them. She also wants to just say 'fuck it' and take off her towel and start making out with him but no, she can't do that now.

"You can shower anywhere you like, sweetheart. This place is yours too." he whispers gently.

Elle nods. "Okay. I'll think about it. I mean, there are still a lot of things to think about, Lloyd." She reminds him about the problems they have that she still needs to work out from her last night's discovery.

"I know, Elle. I know." Lloyd confirms.

"Right. Well, I need to get dressed." she tells him, avoiding his eyes before walking away from him towards her closet, on the far side of her bed.

He nods. "I'll leave you to it." he mutters softly as he starts to walk away from her bedroom.

Lloyd opens the door a little for himself and exits quickly before closing the door behind him, gently.

She opens her closet, stares at her clothes and pouts at the lack of house clothes she has in here. There's way too much jeans. A normal person shouldn't have this much amount of jeans. She wears jeans for almost every circumstance. Or dresses. She doesn't need all these dresses. She just likes to shop and shop. To cope with her problems. But she doesn't end up wearing most of the clothes she buys, anyway.

She sighs, moving her eyes away from her closet as she peaks at the door. She continues to stare at the closed door for a while, contemplating on Lloyd. As she thinks about him more, she realizes that he's not as scary as he thinks he is. Yes, he kills and murders anyone he wants to and doesn't have impulse control. But deep inside, he's just a…man. A man with too many complicated feelings and problems who has no one to come to and has no idea how to deal with his problems well. He has literally no one in the world. Same as Six. That's why they have each other's back now.

Elle can see right through Lloyd for who he actually is when no one else can. She doesn't see him as a monster or anything scary. Because she knows who he is, deep inside. She's the only one who does. Maybe it's because she could read minds and feel emotions, but whatever it is, she feels a little bit relieved that he's not as intimidating as she thought he was because she knows the truth that no one else does. So she's not that scared of him anymore.

She was never really scared of him, she was just scared of what he was capable of. And she still is.

She hasn't forgotten what he did for her.

***

She stalks into the hallway with a black crop top and pink shorts — in which she spent several minutes just looking for it in the lump of all her clothes.

She can already hear Six quietly eating and Lloyd talking to him casually as he also chews his food. She can't quite understand what they're talking about with food in their mouths. Besides, sometimes, she could filter her hearing — decide which sound she wants to hear and block out the rest. But it doesn't always work, she's still trying to figure it out.

"Hey, guys." Elle greets them as she walks into the kitchen island, where they're sitting.

Lloyd is sitting at the middle seat with Six beside him. Both of their eyes quickly glance at her, at the same time.

Six stops eating to look at her. "Hi. We got your favorite." he tells her, softly.

She smiles at him. "I know. Thanks." she says, taking the only other available seat, that's beside Lloyd.

She looks down at all the food in front of her as she begins to take the plastic fork and start to eat her food.

Lloyd turns on his tablet that's laid flat on the kitchen island as he begins to scroll through the daily news, while showing it to Six as well.

"So, what do you want to do after this?" he asks her.

Elle looks over to his tablet. "What are you looking at?" she asks him.

He shrugs casually. "Just the news. In this city. Six usually reads most of it."

"Give me." she demands softly, taking his tablet from him and seeing one of the headline news on it and—

No. Oh God. No.

Headline news : Mass murder committed in West Jakarta, killer still at loose even after one full week. Authorities have no lead on who the suspect is until now.

Right below the headline, there's the picture, where it happened. The house, still filled with blood all over the floor and walls. The bodies are all put in a body bag, laid flat on the uncleaned floor. Four bodies, in total. The whole crime scene is still messy and bloody. They must've struggled to clean all that blood stuck on the walls and all the furniture.

He did all that. For me.

She widens her eyes at the screen and gasps softly as Lloyd immediately snatches the tablet from her hands. Six frowns, looking over at the screen.

"You didn't have to see that." Lloyd flatly says, turning off the screen.

She turns to him, still in shock. "That was you. You did all that. Lloyd, that's a bloodbath. A whole fucking bloodbath. And what if you get caught? What if…"

"We'll take care of it. Don't worry. We won't ever get caught." he tries to assure her.

Six nods at her. "He's right, okay? We'll be fine." he assures her as well.

Elle looks over to him. "Fine? This isn't fine, Six. He committed mass murder for me! None of this is fine. Lloyd, you don't get why I'm this upset over this. I understand that you did it to protect me but you could've…" she snaps.

Lloyd frowns. "Could've what, Elle? What are the other solutions? You know what they were about to do to you before I killed them? They were about to hire some other idiots to find you and kidnap you and they were even planning to rape you, just so you couldn't use your powers against them because you'd be in too much of a shock. And then, they were going to sell you like a piece of fucking meat to the black market. That is what I saved you from." he harshly admits.

She widens her eyes again at that revelation and rises up from her chair before stepping away from him in fear. She shudders at the thought of everything he said to her. Of getting kidnapped and getting raped and getting sold. They'd be right, she'd be in too much of a shock to use her powers if she was gang raped like a fucking ragdoll. She may heal from it physically, but she'd never recover it mentally. She'd remember every single detail and every single man who did it to her because her memory is extremely strong. Just thinking of it makes her stomach sick as she's turning nauseous.

Suddenly, she gags, immediately covering her mouth with her hand and she could already feel the food in her throat. She runs to the kitchen sink before throwing up all the food she just ate, retching even more to get the food all out because she'll feel better once everything is all out of her throat since it still feels stuck.

Six quickly rushes to her, grabbing her hair and fisting it into a ponytail as he places his hand on her back. "It's okay, just get it all out." he gently says to her as she continues vomiting even louder.

Lloyd sighs, taking a glass of water from the counter before walking to her. "Elle, here, drink some." he offers, standing beside Six.

She stops throwing up, finally feeling like everything's not stuck in her throat anymore and she looks up at Lloyd with a scowl. She grabs the glass as she gulps it all down in a second before shoving the glass in his hands.

She heavily sighs, forcing herself to make eye contact with him with her eyes still filled with anger. "You wanna know why I feel this way? Why can't I be as ignorant and as calm as both of you are? Because this isn't my world. I am very fucking new to it. I just got in like, two weeks ago. When I killed all those people in that lab. And I felt so fucking much guilt that I had resorted to everything that would make me feel numb. Alcohol, pain killers, serums, going to that fucking bar that was outside of my comfort zone. I just don't want to feel the same guilt anymore. It was hell." Elle snaps, finally admitting it to him.

Lloyd lifts his eyebrows. "Wait. You—took pain killers? You're an addict?" he carefully asks.

She rolls her eyes as she sighs before Six turns to him.

"She's stopped. A week ago. She's told me about it. Look, the point is, she's new to this. You have to understand that. Like when we both first joined the CIA, we weren't used to all the murder yet, right?" Six asks him.

Lloyd looks at him and contemplates his first time at the CIA. "Well, no. Okay, I get it, Elle. But you don't have to feel that guilt because you didn't do it and they did deserve it considering what they were going to do to you and what they already did to you and Six in your own neighborhood. I did it to protect you."

Six nods, agreeing with him before turning back to her and touching her cheek softly. "I know it was wrong but he did what had to be done to protect you, okay? None of us want you to feel that guilt anymore. We like you too much to see you suffer, Elle."

"Yeah, way too much." Lloyd confirms.

Elle looks into his Six's eyes, slowly nodding her head before leaning onto him for a hug. She rests her arms around him and buries her head against his neck, softly sobbing.

She's not just sad, but she's scared and terrified. It's like she has no other choice but to accept that this is her world now and there's no going back. There's no way out. She can't get out even if she wants to. She basically sold her soul when she agreed to be the CIA's most valuable asset and their personal weapon. She had no idea what she was signing up for. But on the other hand, she does still want to be here — doing missions and to help this city. At least, she could replace all the bad stuff she did with the good ones she's about to do.

Six wraps his hand around her back and his other hand strokes her head. He could hear her sobbing, even though Lloyd couldn't. She's trying her best to not make a mess of herself. She doesn't want to look weak for them. She is anything but weak, they all know that. She could blow up a whole entire building and fall from it without a single wound. Perhaps, she's just scared of showing her vulnerability to them, seeing as this is the first time. She's never shown her vulnerability to anyone before except for her best friend, but even she doesn't know everything about Elle.

She doesn't like being seen as weak to anyone because her parents used to always call her weak for crying all the time when they were abusing her. Technically, they were experimenting on her, testing out how her body would react to certain injuries. They would constantly call it a science experiment, too. Even when it's not. It was just pure abuse.

That's why it's such a big deal for her when she shows her vulnerability to anyone. Because it means she deeply cares for them and trusts them completely. She has let them see her at her most vulnerable and that means a lot to hdr

Lloyd's hand reaches out to her before pulling it away as soon as he realizes that she's been crying this whole time. Now, he's regretting everything.

"Elle… I'm sorry." He manages to say. It's barely there, it's almost like a whisper but she heard it. Six heard it, too (even he's surprised).

Sorry. He said sorry.

Lloyd has never ever apologized to anyone before. He never felt like he owed anyone an apology. Let alone an actual genuine apology because he's actually feeling bad, for the first time ever in his life. She's not the only one showing her vulnerability, he is too. She did something to him, made him into something he thought he'd never be — a little kinder and some decent humanity in him. Even if it's just for her. At least it's progress.

She slowly pulls away from the hug and looks at Lloyd, with confusion and slight relief. He stares into her eyes that's a little red from crying. But she still looks so fucking beautiful even when she's crying. It's not fair. She sighs softly before her lips grow into a small smile and his heart bruises. "It's okay, Lloyd." she murmurs.

Six tucks her hair under her ear and breaks into a relief smile. "What do you wanna do now? We can do anything you like," he asks her.

Elle's smile turns wider. "Let's go outside. Somewhere with fresher air to clear our minds."

"Like, a park? I know a place." Lloyd suggests.

"Oh, you mean the only park that's inside of a mall, the only one available in Jakarta that's not filled with trash and pollution? Yeah, sure." she sarcastically says.

He lightly chuckles. "That's the only one I know of!" he defends.

She nods, a smile still lingering on her lips. "I know. And it's the only one I like. Can we go there?" Elle asks him with her eyes pleading at him. She's giving him puppy eyes.

Lloyd's face softens, his lips curving into a tiny smile. "Sure. We could go anywhere you want. Go get dressed, I'll get the car ready in ten minutes."

She smiles wider and eagerly nods her head before quickly planting a soft kiss on Six's cheek and walks away from him, stopping beside Lloyd.

"Thank you," she whispers to him before palming his cheek, her thumb caressing his skin as he stares into her eyes, giving her a soft look he's never given anyone before. She could hear his heartbeat, unusually fast which she's never heard before. She has hit him in his soft spot. She's got him where she wants him. She leans closer onto him and kisses his cheek long and slow and affectionately.

She pulls away after a second and smiles at him. "I'll be ready in five minutes." she murmurs softly before walking away from both of them to go back to her room.

As they watch her disappearing into their hallway, Six and Lloyd exchange knowing looks. They both know what they're thinking about.

***

Elle comes out of her bedroom with an orange, floral printed sundress. It's her favorite casual one. She's got a long, white cardigan even though it is 33 degrees outside.

They say nothing as they all get into the elevator that's going right down to the parking basement. The guys stand behind her while she faces the elevator, waiting for it to go down but it will take a while since there's like, 40+ floors in this building.

Lloyd has been too busy with his phone this whole time, texting their driver to arrive on time and haven't had the time to look at her at all. Six approves of it — he likes it, even though he'd be too shy to admit it.

"Take that off." Lloyd demands, all of a sudden.

She frowns confusedly. "What?"

He points his finger to her cardigan. "That. It is way too fucking hot outside for you to wear that. I know you're immune to fire and heat and all but—"

She cuts him off, turning around to him. "Uh, no, I can't. I mean, it's just how I dress when I'm outside. It's the polite way. I can't just go out there without a cardigan wearing this dress." she nervously says.

"So what? You got us." Lloyd confidently says.

She nods. "Exactly. I've got two white guys walking with me in public, wearing a short dress without a cardigan and that would only mean one thing." she assumes.

Six frowns. "That you're…just walking with us without a cardigan?" He assumes, plainly.

She snorts. "No! They would think that I'm a whore. A slut. I've never seen any local girls walk with two white guys in public at once. So they would obviously think—"

Lloyd cuts her off, rolling his eyes. "Who cares what they think?" He walks closer to her in this tiny elevator, "You're not a slut. But you are ours." he whispers before his hands rest on her upper arms as he takes her cardigan off of her shoulders slowly while keeping eye contact.

She gulps. The tension is so thick. They're so close to each other. But anyone could walk into the elevator at any time and ruin this moment. He finally takes it all off and holds her cardigan in his hands. She's even prettier without that. Her shoulders and her collarbone structure are perfect. Her body's very preserved and fit, and sometimes she wonders how, when she's never stepped foot in a gym before — it's part of the experiment, to stop her body from growing but she still wonders.

"Not our slut. Just ours." Six confirms, softly as she meets his eyes.

Elle nods at both of them, taking her cardigan from his hands. "Got it. So, I'll just casually ignore all the dirty looks I'd get and just walk ahead?" she sarcastically says.

She cares too much about what people think of her. Hence why she always chooses to dress politely instead and avoid dirty looks or complaints. It's not like her to just dress however she wants and nor care about anyone or anything at all. But since she's walking with them now, maybe…just maybe, she could feel a little bit more confident than before.

Lloyd nods. "Exactly, sweetheart. You know what I think? They're jealous. They would want two white guys to fuck them at the same time as well and—"

She widens her eyes, her hand jumps to his mouth, covering it. "Lloyd! No. Don't. Plus, we haven't fucked."

Releasing her hand from his mouth, his lips curve into a smirk that's growing wider by the second. He leans into her. "Not yet," he whispers.

And, the elevator dings.

She immediately turns around from them and looks up to the floor number. B2. Basement. They're here.

While it slowly opens, there are some people outside waiting for it and she quickly gets nervous as their eyes drift to the guys and to her. She could already feel the dirty looks they're giving her only.

Fuck. This was a mistake.

Elle steps out of the elevator with her head low as the guys walk behind her, as usual. Six walks closer to her, grabbing her hand and holding it for her comfort. He could sense that she's nervous the second the elevator opened and how those people were looking at her. He usually ignores people and could care less about their dirty looks but she cares. He knows that she cares too much all the time and she can't help it. It's just how she is.

They walk into the parking basement and their car is already right in front of them, with a local driver inside of it and their armed agent in the passenger seat.

She sighs as her eyes glance at the agent and she stops. "Seriously?" she asks, looking over to Lloyd with annoyance.

He shrugs. "What? You still need protection wherever you go. It won't hurt to be safer than sorry." Lloyd defends.

She rolls his eyes. "Fine. It's just kind of annoying. I have you guys already." she mutters while walking to the backseat aa opens the door wide.

Six enters the car first, scotting into the very corner to leave space. Then, she gets in before Lloyd steps into it. They all quickly settle into their seats as she smoothes her dress.

"We're ready to go." Lloyd orders the driver and the car starts to move.

Six still has her hand in his as his thumb strokes her skin gently. Lloyd casually rested his hand over her thigh.

***

She thought malls were way better during the weekdays. A little less crowded and a little more quieter.

Well, she is horribly wrong.

They've walked into a really packed mall with every single eye staring at them. Practically gawking at their every move.

She walks in front of the guys to lead them where she wants to go and they've willingly followed her with no questions asked. They both know that she knows way better than them. Plus, the mall is extremely huge. They'll get lost without her.

She was craving ice cream so she's leading them to the place. She needed something sweet. It usually helps her anxiousness. She's not just anxious about walking through this mall with two white guys behind her and everyone staring at her weirdly, because she was already anxious way before this.

She wanted to go out, to this mall with them, to distract herself. She knows she'll never get over it or forget what he's done for her. She'll remember it for ages. It'll stick in her head like glue.

But, she'll never tell them. She knows what they're gonna say over and over again. That it was for her protection and all that. She gets that, she knows that there was no other way but she can never forget that she's the reason they're dead. The reason that their family is grieving over their death. The reason that the local police are working hard to find the murderer. The reason that maybe, Lloyd could get in some real trouble with the CIA for what he's done. For her.

It's all because of her. She's the main reason for it all. So, she keeps thinking of herself as the problem. But she's not the problem, though. She's just a victim, caught up in this fucked-up and twisted world of murder that she didn't ask to be in it in the first place.

"Thank you!" Elle thanks the seller with a wide smile on her lips as he hands her a strawberry ice cream cone while giving him the money.

Lloyd and Six stand behind her with amused looks. They both already know her too well and her sweet tooth.

She turns around to them while they're still standing inside the quiet shop. She grips the ice cream cone steadily and takes her first bite.

Lloyd grimaces at that. "How the fuck do you bite ice cream? They're supposed to be licked."

She shrugs. "I can't feel how cold it is and it'll melt less quickly."

"Hm. Good point, I suppose. But it's still weird to see someone bite an ice cream. Might want to keep a low profile here, no?"

"No one will think too much about it. And plus, since when were you ever worried about being discreet?" she casually says, scoffing gently before taking another huge bite of her ice cream.

Lloyd knows what she's referring to but he didn't think that she'd bring it up right now, when they're out in public, in an ice cream shop — out of all places. And…he thought that she forgot about it already. Or at least won't think or talk about it anymore. He thought he resolved all this already back at the penthouse. Guess not.

Six quietly looks at him and they both share confused looks while she continues to focus on biting her ice cream. They're thinking about the same thing. They both also thought that she wouldn't mention it again or even bring it up. They also thought that she was feeling better after that whole sob moment in their kitchen and that was why she wanted to go out.

"Where do you wanna go now?" Six asks her and she looks up at him from her ice cream.

She stares blankly at him. "I don't know, actually."

"Do you wanna go shopping?" Lloyd offers as she glances at him and quickly shakes her head.

"Nope. I'm good. I, uh, shop too much most of the time." Elle confesses.

He smirks at her. "There's no such thing as shopping too much, sweetheart. Look, I'm here with you now and I could buy whatever you want. You know, to make you feel better." he says in a cocky but soft tone.

To make her feel better for what she's just found out about what he did. But she doesn't want a distraction. Shopping isn't a healthy distraction. She knows that all too well.

She scoffs at him and Six glares at him.

Lloyd frowns at both of them. "What? What did I say wrong?"

"Money can't buy happiness, Lloyd. Trust me, I've tried it. After my parents moved to Bali when I was eighteen, they left me with a lot of money. I tried doing everything. Shopping, included. But it never helped. It just made me wasteful." she tells him.

He scoffs casually. "You can never be wasteful if you have too much money. And I have—"

Six cuts him off before he says more wrong things again. "We can do something else. Are there any fun things to do here?"

She nods at him and smiles. "Yeah. There's bowling here."

Lloyd snorts. "Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? Six, do you even know how to play that? I don't even know—we don't do that shit. Let's just do something simple. Like, lunch. It's almost 12 anyway. And I need a drink." he declares before pausing and looking at her, "Plus, you haven't eaten properly yet, Elle. You need to eat. I care more about your well-being than anything else." he adds.

Clearly.

Elle stares at his eyes and nods. "Okay. I'll finish this ice cream and then we can decide what to eat later. I'm not picky, so what would you guys like to eat?"

Six shrugs, keeping his eyes on her. "I'm okay with anything. We could even try some Indonesian food? We've never tried anything other than Chinese or pizza takeouts."

She nods at him, biting her ice cream again. "That's a good idea. Lloyd, are you okay with that?" she asks, glancing at him.

Lloyd nods, humming in response. "Of course. Anything you want, Sunshine. We want to make you happy." he replies, walking over to her as he puts his shoulder around her arm.

She frowns, scrunching her nose. "You don't need to do anything more. I am content already." Elle confirms.

He gives her a satisfied half-smile before his mouth leans over to her ear. "You'll see tonight, just how happy you'll be, with us." Lloyd whispers to her in his bedroom voice — all raspy and sexy.

She almost chokes on her ice cream as she slightly widens her eyes, looking away from both of them. She swallows thickly before thinking of all the ways they'd make her happy tonight because she knows how good they are at making her feel good and they've proven it more than once. They're probably the only guys in her life who know what they're doing when it comes to satisfying women. She's never felt more satisfied when she's with them, compared to all the other guys she's ever been with. She does know that she's lucky to have them, as a partner in bed and in the field.

Quickly, She remembers that she's still in a public place right now and she's never thought of these kinds of things outside. She's usually so controlled. She snaps herself out of her wild thoughts and comes back to reality.

Six noticed the difference in her body language and he already knows that Lloyd must've whispered something dirty in her ears. He knows both of them too fucking well that he'd know it's them even if he couldn't see or hear them.

Elle's lips tug into an easy smile, looking over at them. "Right. So, um," she clears her throat and they both could see that her cheeks are blushing pink. "Well, let's, uh, go have lunch. I know a restaurant."

Lloyd nods, smiling down at her. "Find a quiet one. We both don't like crowded and loud spaces. It's obnoxious." He refers to him and Six.

Of course they hate it. They kill people for a living and having to see loud annoying people in public makes them have a strong urge to just pull out their guns and murder them — to be clear, Six didn't bring a gun but Lloyd did. He needed to be cautious. This place isn't exactly safe to him. And even though he has a living weapon right beside him, always ready to blow up shit, he still can't afford to be powerless.

She frowns, glancing at him. "If you haven't noticed yet, everything's crowded here, Lloyd. We'd be lucky just to find one empty table for all three of us in one of these restaurants."

"Well, if you haven't noticed either, money could buy anything in this city. Nearly everything. Even people." Lloyd states, as a matter of fact, proving his point that this city is too corrupted in every way possible.

She scoffs, rolling her eyes playfully. "Fine. Just this one time, I'm letting you do that. Because I am super hungry right now."

It wouldn't be the first time he's bought or bribed people in this city, during this week. It was even too cheap for him because of the currency and all that. But he'd never tell her that. He should probably stop confessing things about him before she changes her mind and leaves him because of everything. Maybe—just maybe, deep inside, he's scared that she'd leave him, leave them. He can't even begin to imagine or fathom having to spend the rest of these next months without having her with him. Not only that she's a really damn good weapon out in the field, but she's the only one he wants and he won't let her go so easily. He wants to keep her, fuck her, protect her and hold her for as long as he can.

His lips turn into a smug smile, before removing his arm from hers and moving it to her hand. He holds her hand, his fingers intertwining with hers and she leans into his touch and his rare affectionateness. She knew that he wasn't into displaying affection in public and all that crap, so she's surprised that he's doing this now. He isn't even used to affection in private, he likes to keep his personal space to himself and hates the idea of being touched too much in an intimate way.

He's different now. Very fucking different.

"Alright, let's go. Finish your ice cream faster, sweetheart." Lloyd declares before they all proceed to exit the small shop.

***

She was right.

Everything was packed and nearly every single restaurant needed a waiting list due to the overwhelming amount of customers who wanted to dine in. It was chaos.

But, thankfully, Lloyd was also right.

Money can buy everyone in this city. And, apparently, a nice quiet table in a private room with no interruptions as well, in one of the fancy and known restaurants in this mall. It's a little dark here but it's peaceful.

Of course, she could still hear everything from outside with her hearing but she's still trying to block them out.

"This is fancy." Elle remarks, after settling on one of the chairs in this huge table.

Lloyd and Six take a seat between her because that's how it's always supposed to be. Her between them.

She looks around the menus and already knows what she wants to eat and drink. She's never been here before, but the menu seems the same compared to any other Indonesian restaurants around here. Nothing new for her.

"What're you guys ordering?" she asks them, her eyes glancing between them.

Six leans into his seat while reading through the menu quietly and deciding that she knows better. He ditches the menu and darts his eyes to hers. "I'll have what you have. I know you'll have the best." he tells her.

Elle nods. "Okay, then." She turns to Lloyd and looks at him curiously. He's staring at the menu, confusedly because he doesn't know what to order either. But he doesn't want to admit that he needs her help in deciding which food is good.

"I can help you, you know. I know what will taste good for you." she offers.

Lloyd finally looks up from his menu and stares at her with a smirk on his lips. "Yeah. You." he teases loudly.

She giggles, shaking her head. "No! Oh, come on. We're in a public place. And this is the second time you've teased me now. Is it always going to be like this when we're out?"

Six quietly shakes his head. "He enjoys it."

"Yeah, because I like seeing the look on her face. And I know what my words do to her. She's turned on." Lloyd accuses.

Elle widens her eyes. "No! Fuck, no. We shouldn't even be talking about this here."

He cocks his head to the side and his smirk turns into a smile. "No one's here but us, Elle. The room's soundproof as well. Probably. If not, I'll just pay for their silence." Lloyd says, way too casually and easy.

She frowns. "Seriously? No, come on. You can't just keep bribing people here, Lloyd. I only let you do that earlier because you didn't exactly buy anyone. There was this room available and you waved that black color card of yours to the manager. If you keep buying people, proving even more that the corruption here is very much real, then what's the point of me? I wanted to fix all the corruption by joining the CIA."

His face turns stern. "I know. But you can't…fix everything. There's too much corruption here. I told you day one, that you can't be a hero. It's impossible to do that in a city like this." he says in a not-so harsh tone.

Six sighs, not knowing what to say. He knows Lloyd is right. He's seen the corruption in this city, first-hand. But he also understands her urge to save this city from all the corruption. She thinks she owes it to herself. He could see why she wants to be the hero of it all even if no one will know she's the one who did it because all the credit will go to Denny and the CIA. He knew from the start that she's a good person, despite knowing her actions back then. He saw it in her eyes the first time he saw her, in that bar.

She's compassionate. Sympathetic. Gracious. She'll help anyone who needs help, no matter who they are. She wants to save a city who can't even be saved. She's ambitious. A little too much, sometimes.

Six leans closer to her chair and her before tucking her hair under her ear. "Hey, guys, let's just…not talk about work for this one time, yeah? We can talk about all this later. And, no, I'm not on anyone's side. Leave it."

She huffs, turning to him. Her lips form into a thin line and a small smile. "Fine. And, I didn't come here with you both to argue. Or even at home. I don't want to argue there either. I just…want you," she turns back to Lloyd and looks at him seriously. "To respect what I'm trying to do even if you think it's impossible or pointless. Because that's what partners do. They support and respect each other no matter fucking what and—"

Lloyd lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "Wait. You think we're…partners? I don't think I've ever had one before. In missions or in my personal life." he realizes.

She furrows her brows. "You've never had girlfriends before?"

He shakes his head and laughs. "No. Fuck partners, sure. But they don't live with me or sleep in my bed. I don't like the clingy ones."

Her lips grow to a soft smile before placing her hand on top of his that's on the table. "Well, I think we're equal partners. We work together, live together and we sleep—well, we will sleep together. And at some point, in one bed too. You'll just have to get used to me, Hansen." Elle softens her tone before darting her eyes at their hands still touching and he hasn't moved it an inch yet.

He is starting to get used to her already. He hates clingy and touchy women, but here he is anyway. He's letting her touch him however and whenever she wants. To be fair, he'd let her do anything to him and it won't make him angry or frustrated — it won't change a single thing of what he feels for her. He doesn't even know exactly what he feels for her. It's too complicated. Feelings are complicated, especially for him, who's never felt these kinds of feelings for anyone at all.

"Wouldn't be a problem, sunshine." Lloyd quickly responds, a proud smile lingering on his lips. For her.

***

After their lunch, she wanted to go on a walk around the mall. But, just the park.

She loves seeing the people here. Children, elderly people, couples, who are all just enjoying their time here.

She likes seeing what she'll never get. A husband. An off-spring. Getting old. She will never have all that. No matter how many spells or formulas she tried. She's solved it already long ago, and the answer is she's stuck with her condition forever with no other solutions. Maybe she could find a husband one day, but it's highly impossible to have one when most men here want a wife who could actually procreate.

She's accepted it, of course. If not, she wouldn't still be here and try to live her life as long as now. At least, she's not alone anymore. She has partners who know everything about her and haven't judged her for it. They'd do anything to protect her and keep her happy and safe.

Lloyd has been seemingly sweet. He hasn't let her hand go ever since they left the restaurant. Maybe it's a way of protecting her, if something happens then he could easily shove her behind him with his hand. Or he's being possessive. He is a possessive man. No one touches what belongs to him. Except for Six, of course. He's the only exception.

Maybe, he wants to show people that she's with him already. It seems to be already working, at least for him. The women no longer stare at him like a piece of meat or try to get close to him anymore, not like last time. It's better this way. He likes having her with him. Just like this.

Six doesn't hold her hand, though. He just walks beside her and a little behind to check her surroundings, just in case. Anything could happen in a public place like this and he can't turn a blind eye just because this isn't a mission. Plus, he knows it's going to be quite a scene if they both hold her hands at the same time. She won't like how they'd stare at her and he knows that. He knows her.

"Hey, do you want anything while we're still here? Another ice cream, perhaps?" Lloyd offers her, slowing down in his steps.

They stop at a spot next to a pond of fishes and a bunch of children playing around it.

Elle turns to him while Six stand behind her. "No, I'm good. Do you need to go inside?" she asks him.

Lloyd nods, looking around him. "Yeah. I just need to get a few things. But I promise, I will be quick." he swears. He doesn't want to be here too long anyway.

When he says a few things, he means a lot of things. He needs to do a little shopping for himself and Six. They need new shirts and pants. For work and for home. Maybe some new kitchen appliances, too. For her, since he remembers that she loves cooking in her free time. But probably some clothes for her, as well. He knows she said she doesn't want to shop but technically, he's the one doing it, not her so it doesn't really count as her unhealthy addiction or whatever she's calling it.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I could help you if you need some translating." she kindly offers.

"Oh, I'm not going to any local shops." he casually says before turning to her and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "Okay, I will be right back. Six, take care of her and hold her hand." Lloyd tells him, glaring at him.

Six quietly chuckles before nodding. "Alright. Be quick." he simply says.

"Of course. Don't go anywhere too far." Lloyd replies while turning around from them as he slowly walks towards the far direction of the door to the mall inside.

As they both watch him disappear into the crowd, Six steps closer to her. She quickly turns to him and her lips stretch into the happiest smile he's ever seen on her. The afternoon sun glows on her hair and her big, brown eyes. She holds his hands between them while staring into his eyes. They stand between the crowd as they hear lots of people talking around them but they're focusing on each other.

So fucking beautiful.

"Why didn't you hold my hand?" Elle softly asks.

Six frowns. "I didn't want to cause a scene that you didn't want."

She shakes her head, "I don't really care about that anymore. I'm just happy to be here. With the both of you. Who knows when else we'll ever get a chance to relax like this? You know, between missions."

"Elle…about that. Yesterday, during the mission, I was cold to you. And I didn't mean it. I'm just not used to having a partner on a mission who I have to talk to and work together with. But I am glad that I do now. So, I'm sorry. I can't promise you that I won't always be like that but—" Six apologizes to her, gently.

She gulps, remembering yesterday. She was scared of him, seeing him like that. He didn't even look at her like he's usually looking at her. He always looks at her with his gaze softened and his face relaxed because he's glad to have met her and have her here. He's also always secretly admiring how she effortlessly looks so gorgeous all the time, without even trying. He enjoys watching her face, even her bare face. He's always quietly appreciating her even when she doesn't know it or isn't aware of it.

She cuts him off, resting her hands on his shoulders. "It's not your fault, Six. You were trained that way. You're not obligated to treat me like you always treat me during missions. It's okay…to do that when we're on a serious and critical mission. Don't get distracted if I get hurt, I'll always heal. I'd want you to focus as hard as you can to finish the mission. Our mission."

Six almost can't believe that she is accepting him for who he is, something no one has ever done in his entire life. Not even the closest people he was with. And she wants him to be unfazed if she gets injured during missions. That, he could do. But only if she wasn't really grievously injured. He can be uncaring while doing his job, but he could get compromised anytime once he sees her hurt. He can't even bear to see her hurt even if she could take it and she'd heal in a second.

He lets out a sigh of relief before his lips slowly turn into a smile. A genuine, real smile that shows he's grateful for all this and for her. For understanding him, like no one ever has. He knows that she's an understanding person, always being sensitive towards anyone she cares about. Sometimes, he feels like he doesn't deserve her and her compassion and her unconditional kindness to him. Because after all the shit he's done in his life.

Six closes the gap between them and his palm brushes her cheek. She leans into his touch, closing her eyes for a split second and trying to ignore all the noise around them along with the people staring at them. She just tries to focus on him instead, staring into his eyes like nothing else matters anymore. Like they're the only two people here and the rest doesn't matter.

His eyes drop to her lips and then back to her eyes, studying all her features again until he memorizes it in his head over and over. "Partners, right?" Six murmurs softly.

She nods her head happily and smiles wider than ever. Her dimples, her teeth are all showing as he takes in all her beauty. "Yeah, partners." she whispers back, very obviously staring down at his lips as she bites her lower lip to hold back her desire to kiss him right here and right now.

She can't.

He smiles again and chuckles. "I like seeing you nervous like this." he teases before leaning closer onto her, his lips an inch from hers but she immediately turns her face away.

She lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, but we can't. Not here. Not now."

Six nods, agreeing with her. "Alright," he whispers and before she could even protest, he gently grabs her arm to pull her closer to him. He presses his lips against her temple as she laughs again. He loves hearing her laugh. It's such a genuine and happy sound. It's so real. She's the most real thing that he has in his life.

She looks up at him. "Let's just…walk around until Lloyd comes back. I'd like to go home after this." Elle tells him.

He hums in response, his eyes staring down her face softly as he watches her face slowly light up and a smile touches her lips again. He leans into her ears and whispers, "Me too, Elle."

At least one of their problems is solved.

***

Lloyd walks out of the mall with dozens of shopping bags in his hands and a bad mood.

He'd been buying a bunch of stuff for almost an hour now and he hates that it took so long. He didn't mean to leave both of them for this long. He knows waiting sucks.

Elle had texted him a few minutes ago that she wanted to go home after he came back. He guessed that she was starting to get bored in this boring mall.

It is boring for him. But then again, every single thing bores him way too easily. Maybe, except for her.

He's going to spend the next few months living in one place and sleeping with only one woman. He's never done that before. He hated the concept of it alone. Yet, he still finds himself wanting to try it. With her. And him. Though, they're not all in a relationship together, they kinda are. Six is his only real friend that he's ever had and they're…in a friendship. They both work together as well. They're sharing her, too. So it's sort-of a relationship in some way.

Lloyd's eyes searched for her through the crowd of people out in the lobby of the mall, where she told him they were. But he doesn't see them, at all.

These people are all standing outside here to wait for their cars or other vehicles. It is a flood of people. He can't see shit through any of them. Especially when most of them have all their eyes on him.

He sighs, taking his phone out of his pocket and clicking on her name in his call history of many other calls with her before. He calls her a lot. She's the only name in his call history. To be fair, she's the only number in his contact (and Denny and Six) — he bought himself and Six a new phone once they found out they'd be staying here for long.

Before the call even connects, he feels a tap on his shoulder from behind and he already knows who it is.

Elle and Six are standing behind him, with his hand holding onto hers, just like what Lloyd told him to earlier. She has a happy smile on her lips and he's guessing that they've resolved their issues from yesterday's mission. Six doesn't look as stoic as usual. He's trying to hide the smile on his lips. But from the look of his face, he is relaxed and Lloyd has never seen him like this before.

"Hi, sorry, we were wandering around the park too much." She apologizes sweetly, an innocent smile still lingering on her lips.

Lloyd's lips quirk into a small smile at her. "I got something for you. I want you to see it later, at home." he tells her.

She blinks at him curiously as they both watch her smile widen. She tilts her head to the side and frowns. "What is it? Tell me!" she urges.

He shakes his head, letting out a hearty laugh at her reaction. He sure loves getting a reaction out of her. He enjoys it. "No, no. Wait till we get home." Lloyd insists.

She rolls her eyes. "What's with the suspense, anyway?" she asks.

His eyes stare at her intently. "It's something special. I don't want to show it here or in the car."

Six frowns. "What is it, Lloyd?" he asks too, growing curious.

Lloyd shakes his head at their curiosity. "I'm not telling until we get home." He still doesn't want to tell them, yet.

"Is it clothes? Or, some kind-of sexy lingerie for me to wear? I am not wearing it if you're the one buying it." Elle tries to guess, her index finger pointing at him.

Lloyd rolls his eyes playfully. "No, it's not. But, I did buy you some clothes. Appropriate ones, of course. You'll need them for missions later on." he informs her.

Her face lights up and her lips stretch into a smile again. "Aw, that's sweet. And thoughtful. Thank you, Lloyd. But still, what is the gift?"

"Still not answering. And, our car's here. Let's go." Lloyd tells them, looking back at their car.

Six lunges forward and grabs half of the shopping bags from his hands, wordlessly.

Elle walks beside Lloyd and holds his free hand while they all approach the car waiting for them.

***

Stepping into the penthouse, Lloyd immediately drops all the shopping bags onto the floor. He lies down on the couch and closes his eyes for a minute.

He's tired. Turns out, shopping in a crowded mall is even more tiring than all the missions he's been on.

Well, it might be a bit of an exaggeration. He has been through worse missions that lasted for days and days.

Six and Elle exchange confused looks before she slowly walks to him as she takes off her shoes.

She sits in the empty space on the couch, right next to him. She leans down and brushes his hair from his face. She presses a soft kiss on his temple.

"If you're tired, take a nap. I'm gonna go for an afternoon swim. I think I need a little exercise." she gently says while her fingers stroke his face.

He opens his eyes, resting his hand above his head. "I'm not tired. But, I do have to give you the gift you've been waiting for." Lloyd murmurs, faintly.

She chuckles. "You know, you didn't have to. I don't need expensive gifts from you. I don't need anything, really."

"Well, I like…giving. You know that."

Six walks to them with one of the shopping bags in his hand and it's the smallest one from all the other ones. He knew which one it was from the brand name on the bag. It's a jewelry shop. He hasn't opened it yet.

He hands it to her and sits in front of her. This couch fits all three of them even if it's a little bit of a stretch and Lloyd has to scoot over for them.

Her eyes examine the bag before a smile touches her lips. She looks at Lloyd with admiration in her eyes. She's never given him this look before. He's seen her angry look, her frustrated look, her irritated look, her turned-on look but never this look. This is rare.

"Open it." Lloyd softly demands.

She nods, getting her hand inside the bag before taking a tiny box out. It's a white velvet box and she opens it, revealing a gold necklace with an oval locket and a small, white gemstone pendant in the middle of it. It's not that big, it's just perfect for the size of her neck. It's easier to hide inside her shirt too so she won't get robbed or something — it happens in this city more often than anyone thinks.

Elle glances at him and smiles, letting out a soft laugh. "A locket? It's beautiful, but why a locket?" she asks him.

Lloyd's lips slowly form into a smile. "To put a location tracker inside it. So if in any circumstances where you're kidnapped or tortured, I could know exactly where you are. I'm not trying to control you, it's just for your safety. I can't always know where you are and it kills me to know if you're in danger and I can't fucking save you. We just want to see you safe, that's all."

Six quietly chuckles. It's a nice gesture and it's the perfect way to keep her safe, in which he wants more than anything too. He just won't ever say it out loud. To not complicate things with her. There are some things about him that are just better to be unsaid. She doesn't need to know all the gory details. She doesn't need to know everything. She wouldn't be able to take it.

She frowns. "Well, that is sweet of you. So, thank you. And…" she leans closer onto his face, "I don't really need you to save me. I can save myself. You both know that already. I'll just blow their heads off." she casually says before darting her eyes to Six.

Six smiles warmly at her. Lloyd lets out a proud laugh as he smirks at her.

"Good girl. You remembered what I taught you." he says in a smug tone, that smirk of his still lingering.

"Put it on for me," Elle softly murmurs, slowly retreating from him.

Lloyd nods before sitting up from his position and moving to settle behind her. She carefully takes the necklace out from the box, her eyes still admiring the details of it. She hands it to him from behind with caution.

She doesn't recall when's the last time anyone has ever given her a sweet gift like this. Even though it is for the sake of the mission. It's their mission to keep her safe, technically. But she knows it's not just about that. She can feel that they want her safe because of their own sakes too. Without even having to read their mind or feel their emotions.

He takes the necklace into his hands as she brushes her long hair to her side. Lloyd unclasps the necklace latch before placing it on her neck and interlocking the clasp with his calloused fingers.

She breathes out softly, reaching her hand to the necklace on her neck and feeling it against her chest. "I like it. It feels nice. Don't think I've ever worn a necklace gifted by someone. It feels special. Precious."

She is precious to them.

Six's eyes observe the necklace on her neck and an easy smile tugs on his lips. "It is. Almost like someone I know." he comments.

She gasps. "Are you saying that I'm an object just like this necklace?" she jokingly accuses.

Lloyd lets out a genuine, loud laugh. Six laughs, as well, just quieter than his. She follows their laughter. Their happiness echoes through the whole penthouse. This place wasn't supposed to be their home, but now it is. They're the ones making it feel like home.

Six pulls her by her hands to get closer to him and she giggles, before pressing her lips against his in a soft kiss.

"You've kissed her too much today. It's my turn." Lloyd complains from behind.

Elle laughs again, rolling her eyes playfully. "Guess he wants his turn now," she whispers against Six's lips before they both break the kiss together.

She turns around to Lloyd and rests her hand on his chest. "You know, for the record, we didn't kiss back at the mall. I didn't want to cause a scene."

"You could've sneaked into the bathroom," he suggests.

"We're not like that." she quickly replies.

"What, risky? Didn't he finger you back at that bar in the bathroom?" Lloyd taunts her, as usual.

She widens her eyes and hits his shoulder as softly as possible. "Lloyd! Oh, please. That was a different time. I was…a little drunk and way too loosened up. I wanted to forget about my guilt."

Lloyd gives her a short and understanding nod. "Got it. Speaking of, how do you sleep every night? I mean, do you take any sleeping pills?" he asks, out of the blue.

She shakes her head. "No. I never have. They don't really sell a lot of good sleeping pills here. Most are imported and really hard to find."

"Hm. So, how much would you have to take for it to work for you? 10 pills? 20?" he asks.

"Around five or seven is fine to not overdo it. I wouldn't want to sleep for days. But, why are you asking?" she asks him back.

"I have a prescription. It's just for relaxing your nerves, though. But it could help you. It could really help you relax." Lloyd tells her in a genuine and soft tone that he's only using at this moment because he cares.

She sighs, drifting her eyes away for a split second before looking back at him. "I'll… think about it." she pauses, "Anyhow, I'm not gonna swim because I have some other things in mind for this afternoon."

Lloyd lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "Really? Like what?" he asks, his lips curve into a smirk. Again.

She turns to Six and glances at both of them before smiling widely. "I'm gonna cook a nice meal. For all of us. We've never really used that dining table. And it's been such a long time since I've sat down with someone and had dinner with them."

Lloyd and Six never even had that with someone. A nice and normal dinner with people they care about. Almost like a family.

"I'd love that." Six agree.

Lloyd doesn't say anything, instead he just grabs her face and kisses her as passionately as possible. She kisses him slowly but he intensifies the kiss even deeper and tries to devour every inch of her mouth. She moans softly against his mouth while Six quietly watches them.

She whimpers, bracing her hands against his chest. "Need to get supplies. Or I'm never making this dinner." she says against his lips.

Lloyd groans, cupping her cheeks before having to pull himself from her lips. He frowns at her. "What am I gonna do now?"

Elle giggles. "I don't know, take a cold shower? You had a long day and it was so hot outside." she suggests, plainly and innocently.

He nods. "Right. A cold shower. Good idea." he says, looking at the man beside her. "Six, go take her grocery shopping downstairs. She can't go alone." Lloyd sternly orders.

She groans, rolling her eyes. "Are you fucking kidding me—"

Six cuts her off with a soft laugh. "He's right. Anything could happen. We're just trying to protect you." he gently says.

She looks at him with a smile. "Okay, okay. Fine. Let's go, then." she declares, standing up with him.

***

The smell of the food she's cooking spreads through the whole kitchen and living room. It already smells delicious. It smells like herbs, lemon, cheese and flour.

Lloyd and Six prepare the dining table that was empty before. It's located right behind the TV in the living room. It's a long, brown table with lots of white chairs. The view of the whole city is right beside it.

They never even touched this table before.

She focuses on making the food as perfect as possible. Because she's a perfectionist. She always needs to make sure everything she does is perfect and neat and controlled.

She's cooking homemade carbonara pasta from scratch — the one and only big dish that she won't fail. She does enjoy cooking but she usually cooks for herself and with simple meals only. And here in the penthouse, they've only ever gotten take-outs and more take-outs. She cooks breakfast for them sometimes but not that often.

This is different. What they have. It's more than just partners between teammates. Or just an itch to scratch at the end of the day after a tense mission. It's exclusive. Rare. Special. With Lloyd and Six, they would never in a million years do this with anyone else. Especially someone who's associated with the mission. Their mission. It gets rather complicated and messy. But it's a risk they're willing to take, for her.

From a distance, she could hear them bicker and slightly argue about which tablecloth to use. She bought a lot of choices for it. Lloyd keeps on saying that he knows the best design that goes with the color of the table. And Six is avoiding any argument with him but he's still trying to explain that whichever works for any table. Because it's just a goddamn table.

She shakes her head at that, smiling to herself before lowering the heat on the stove to make sure she could leave it for just a second.

She walks to the corner of the kitchen and peaks her head to look at them through the extra long space between the kitchen and the living room until the dining table. She leans herself onto the window and crosses her arms against her chest. Her eyes examine both men who are trying to pick which tablecloth to use while also placing them on the table. They both are showered and neat already, wearing the most comfortable clothes she's ever seen on them. They're getting… cozy.

"It doesn't matter which tablecloth you guys end up using. But once you're done choosing, can you set up the cutlery, please?" Elle requests.

Lloyd and Six immediately turned to her, dropping whatever tablecloth they were holding onto. Their focus fixates on her and suddenly they forgot what they were even talking about a second ago. She's wearing a shorter dress than earlier, a red and white flowy dress that has little flowers imprinted on it. It's a dress that Lloyd just bought for her earlier. That gold necklace is still clinging onto her neck and she hasn't taken it off at all. She even showered with it. It's like a new body part of hers, attaching itself on her skin. She's going to wear it all the time and never take it off now.

"Six doesn't get it, the design is—" Lloyd begins.

He cuts him off. "We're never going to finish setting the table if we keep arguing about the same thing." Six flatly says.

Lloyd finally nods, "Fine. Wait, which cutlery do you want us to use?" he asks her.

She rolls her eyes, throwing her head back. "Oh my god. Lloyd! Just pick whatever. Jeez." She laughs softly, "You know, it doesn't matter to me at all, which design or color you use or what table we even use. Because it's the people and the food that make it an actual dinner. It's what makes a home, a home." She makes a good point.

He tilts his head to the side, shocked with her speech. She is right. She always is. No matter how many times he'd argue with her, she'll always win the argument. Because she actually makes a valid point and it's agreeable. Even to him. He's never lost an argument or a debate with anyone, but yet with her, he'd let her win even if she wasn't right.

"Silverware it is." Lloyd declares and Six snorts, shaking his head.

"You are right. This place…it already feels like home. But it's only because of you, you know." Six agrees with her, as usual. In his eyes, she'll always be right.

Elle looks at him from afar and manages to stare into his eyes, before her lips turn into a cheery smile. Her smile is the best thing they've ever seen. Too cute. Too bright.

"Yeah, I know I'm right. Now, go back to setting the table. Dinner's almost ready and we'll need a table." she demands in a bossy tone. But still cute.

The men both nod in sync before taking a moment to stare at her for a while. Now, she's smiling at both of them, being grateful for this very rare moment she gets to share with them. She's practically glowing even though it's already dark outside. She brightens up the whole room, the whole penthouse. Just with her presence.

"Yes, ma'am. We're on it." Lloyd tells her.

"We'll get it done." Six adds before grabbing the tablecloth from the table and tossing it to him.

She gives them a short nod, knowing that they'll do it right on time. They'll always do right by her, no matter what.

***

Dinner has been finally served and they're all sat at the dining table altogether.

Elle is sitting at the head of the table with Lloyd and Six on each side of her.

They slowly consume the food as she casually eats it, knowing exactly how it tastes already and it's perfect. Six quietly enjoy the food, admiring how good of a cook she actually is. Lloyd, all of a sudden, softly moans, enjoying the food way too much.

"How'd you get it so fucking creamy?" he asks her, slowly.

She looks at him and laughs, her cheeks blushing. "It's an authentic carbonara pasta. I didn't use any cream. But yes, it is creamy, anyhow. It's perfect, right? I mean, I didn't overdo it or anything, right?" Elle asks them, almost anxiously. They both sensed her tone.

It's so like her to worry about little things. She worries that she can't do one simple thing and fail at it. She doubts herself a lot, most of the time. She always worries about failure. Of being a failure. Even when she's not. She does everything perfectly all the time.

Six glances at her and frowns. "What are you talking about? The food is amazing. You did it right." He praises her, softly.

Lloyd nods, still munching the food while chewing with his mouth closed. "Yeah. And even if the food wasn't good, we'll still appreciate it. No one has ever cooked for us like this." he casually says.

Her eyes darted to them and slowly smiled at their words. Those are the most honest and sweetest things anyone has ever said to her. The truth has always been painful for her to hear, but this time, only this time, it isn't. She's finally met someone who accepts her dark parts and embraces it and is still with her until now. From the start, they knew what she was capable of, what she had done in that lab. Yet, they didn't treat her like an actual weapon, for once.

She deserves them. She only wants them. They're the only ones that she'll ever feel secure and protected with. She has always

had to protect herself and the people around her. But not anymore now. She has them.

She nods, spreading her hand out to each of their hands and holding them tightly. Lloyd's hand squeezes her and gives her a short, assuring smile. His smile is usually not so comforting given how he always uses it to threaten people, but this time, it's almost comforting for her. To know that his smile is real and it's only for her. The only genuine smile he's ever given anyone in his whole life. She's the reason he can finally give an actual smile. That means a lot. Everything.

Six's fingers caressed her hand, gazing into her eyes deeply. He is enjoying every single second of this moment. The peace, the atmosphere, the place and them. The only two people whom he trusts in this entire world. He doesn't trust anyone. Trust could get him compromised. This is the only exception, though. He doesn't just trust them, he lets them in and leans on them. Something he has never done before for years working as an assassin.

"I am so glad that the CIA assigned you both. And that you," She tilts her head to Lloyd and looks at him, "Had decided to go to that bar. That I went to. If only, you guys didn't meet me at that bar then…"

"Something worse could've happened. We would probably have to track you and drag you or maybe even kidnap you, then force you to work with us. Wouldn't have gone well." Lloyd assumes.

Elle breaks into a laugh, shaking her head as she smiles so widely. "No, you wouldn't even have the chance to drag me. I'd rip your pretty head off with my bare hands. And maybe, with Six, I'd just rip his heart out. Less painful. And he gets to keep his pretty face."

He frowns, offended. "Hey! Why do you always choose him! It's not fair. You know, technically, I set my eyes on you first. You bumped into me in that bar. And then we had a little intense staring moment before Six interfered because he thought I was groping a girl."

Six laughs softly, not being so quiet anymore. He's never laughed this loose before. "Well, I heard some gruesome stories about you before that. That you were a sociopath."

Lloyd gives him a nod of agreement, very casually. "True. But, I'm not a rapist or some sexual offender. No, those are for low class sociopaths. And ugly ones. They can't get girls so they force them. Fucking pathetic. I enjoy killing rapists, I'll admit. It feels a little good to get rid of one less horrible human being in the world."

Her eyes look at him curiously. "I want to do that too, you know. Do something a little bad to do some good. Well, it's not that good, murder is still wrong. But…I have to stop living in a fucking bubble and start snapping back to reality. I'm associated with the CIA now and I wanted it. So, Lloyd, what you did for me was still wrong but I get it now. I see it in your eyes. It was purely for my protection. You were scared when I showed up all bloody, last week. So you did what I would've done if someone had hurted the ones I care about." Elle admits.

He gives her a relieved smile as his hand brushes her cheek. "I told you. I do care. For you." Lloyd repeats.

She nods, her lips tug into a smile for him before glancing at Six. She already knows that he'd do the same for her. He cares about her equally as Lloyd. She's not just a mission for them. She's so much more than that. She's the most precious thing that's ever happened in both of their lives. She's the only light in their darkness. Their only hope.

"Right. Well, let's finish the food before it gets cold. We're gonna watch a movie after this. With popcorn, of course." She announces with the biggest smile on her lips. She loves movies a lot.

Six and Lloyd chuckle in sync. Movies are her thing. They just follow along. Whatever she wants. She's happy, they're happy. It's almost simple.

"Again? We did that last night!" Lloyd complains, "No, I mean, I'm not complaining. It's a good thing. It could be our thing." he adds.

She opens her mouth and smiles. "Yes! Movie night! It's going to be our thing. That's nice. I've never…yeah."

She's never had a family to do everything with. Watching movies, setting the table, cooking together, walking outside, and having a nice and peaceful dinner together. She's always done all that alone. She never got close enough with her previous boyfriends. It was mostly for the sex and the company. But it was never anything intimate or affectionate. She's avoided that. She never felt right with anyone she's ever dated. She never leaned on them for comfort.

Until now, that is. She trusts them with her life. She'd also do anything to protect them. She'd walk through fire for them — which she could do and still be fine afterwards. They'd do anything for each other. Even if it's dangerous.

Lloyd grabs her hand and kisses it softly. "I've never had that either. Six, too."

Six nods, agreeing with him. "Yeah. But we have that now. Right?" he murmurs.

Elle's eyes stare at both of their eyes before bursting into a soft laugh, nodding her head. She's never been this content in her whole fucking life. She even thought that she didn't deserve any of it. A family, happiness, simple little things in life and a normal life. This isn't exactly a normal life but it's somewhat normal. It's the most normal they'll have.

"We do. It's ours now. Our thing." she says in a gentle and soothing voice. Her smile is quite literally brightening up the dining table under the warm light of the chandelier.

***

She did not expect for her night to go like this.

Laid down on her own bed, bare naked covered in her blanket, between Lloyd and Six. Her pajamas were thrown aside somewhere in her nightstand. She's blinded with her pleasure, not sure which men to focus on and her moans are uncontrollable, filling the whole penthouse with her pretty little sounds.

Lloyd is in front of her, stealing her breath from her lungs as he's been kissing her for as long as he has been here. His hand plays with her tits, pinching her nipples and he just keeps deepening the kiss every single second, biting her bottom lip as harshly as possible. It kept bleeding and then healed again. His other free hand is inside her cunt, just being kept there while he does slow strokes to tease her.

Six is behind her, his cock already inside her hole while his hand is wrapped around her waist. Her back is leaned against his chest. He's being very gentle with her. He's barely moved. It's their first time. He doesn't want her to get overwhelmed. Even though she could take it. Because she can. She is doing it right now. It doesn't hurt for her, a single bit. They didn't even have lube.

But, she was wet enough when they both went inside her bedroom earlier and kissed her, taking turns. She was about to fall asleep and they came in. It was perfect, though. It surprised her and she loves surprises.

"Are you okay?" he asks her, whispering inside her ear after tucking her hair under it.

She pulls away from Lloyd for an inch and nods vaguely.

Six pulls her closer to his chest. "Words, baby. I need words. Tell me you're okay,"

"More than okay. I feel good." Elle answers in a breath.

He smiles softly in the dark. "That's good."

Lloyd looks behind her at him. "Move, Six. She wants you to move. You've been inside her ass for almost half an hour now." he grumbles.

"I want to take things slow." Six tells him.

She looks at him and tries to giggle softly. "You sound jealous." she accuses.

His gaze darkens, glaring down at her. "I'm not jealous, sweetheart. I'm very fucking hard." Lloyd grumbles against her mouth, pressing himself on her bare core and she bites down a moan.

Her cheeks heat up and then she smirks. "Oh? Well, why didn't you say so? I can help you," she whispers as her hand goes under the blanket and reaches his boxers, palming his erection through it.

Lloyd groans loudly, covering her whole mouth and biting down her lips again. She quickly takes his boxers off in a haste with both of her hands. His dick springs out and even though she can't see anything, she could feel his size and his girth as her fingers brush around it. He's really fucking huge and thick and she already knows it'll be a stretch when he's inside her. She fists his cock and starts stroking him at a slow pace.

"He said to take things slow. So we are. We need to." she sternly tells him.

Lloyd rolls his eyes in annoyance and in pleasure as her little magic fingers grip his cock even tighter and he likes the pain of it. He can't even talk back anymore. Not right now. Not at this moment. No one, not even a woman has made him shut his mouth like this. He's usually in control in bed.

Six's lips slowly form into a smirk. He doesn't smirk very often. And usually not in this situation. He's proud of her. Of her ability to shut Lloyd's mouth for once. Turns out it only takes a really damn good hand job. From her hands.

"Have you ever fantasized about this moment?" she asks him, aiming to tease him even more when he already looks like he's about to explode. His face is so red. His heart is beating so fast and loud.

"Well—N–never imagined it like this, so no. I've always thought of you." Lloyd stammers as she begins to quicken her pace.

"Hm. So you've fantasized about me? Like how?" she asks again.

He manages to look into her eyes. "Your strength. How I could fuck you anyhow I want. And your little pain kink. You love pain as much as I do. You take pleasure in it." he admits bluntly.

"True. I do love it. But, I've never tried it with anyone else before. You guys are my first." Elle confesses.

"Good. That's how it's supposed to be." Lloyd states, "Speaking of firsts, has anyone ever fucked your ass before Six?" he asks, curiously.

She shakes her head. "Nope. He's my first." she truthfully answers.

Six lets out a chuckle at seeing Lloyd groan and roll his eyes in disappointment. He never would've let him fuck her ass at the first place if he knew that she's never done that before with anyone. Well, he might not be her first at that, but he is the first to give her what she actually wants and carves. Rough. Pain. Blood. It's all pure pleasure for her.

She smiles before pressing her lips against his again and her hand strokes him even faster now. He moans loudly against her mouth, arching his back and pushing his cock closer to her hand even though it is in her hand already. He wonders how the fuck can her hands feel so damn good. He's never had a hand job like this. Her stroke game is on point. It's because of her strength and he knows that. She's never used her strength like this in bed with anyone before.

Six buries his head on her neck. "I'm gonna move now. Is that okay?" he asks her, murmuring against her skin, really softly that even Lloyd can't discern what he's saying. But she could hear him.

She nods. "Yes, please." Her voice almost sounds like she's begging. She is, she's been wanting him to move even though she still wants to take things slow. But keeping his dick inside of her for a while is starting to feel like torture. His size is just as big as Lloyd's. A little thicker than him, though. She can't see any of theirs, but she can feel every single thing.

Six hums in response, attaching his lips onto her neck and kissing her skin, leaving wet trails all around before slowly thrusting his hips and she lets out a soft gasp at that. She could feel his dick inside her, moving slow and gentle, her walls clenching around his length as a moan escaped both of their lips. She fits so perfectly on him. Their skin is stuck like glue. They both sync so well together. It's why they instantly clicked and connected the moment they met. It's meant to be.

They're meant to be. All of them. They compliment and complete each other in different ways. It's very complex and tangled and no one else would be able to fathom what they have.

But it's theirs. And it's only special to them.

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