#disney only has rights to the muppets

[thetidemice]

Do ya ever think about Andy and Annie's dance during "Rag Dolly" and feel like watching that specific scene on loop AND sorta feeling like doing their little dance with someone at the same time 'cause hhhhh I love it and those sibs a bunch, it's just the somftest and adorablest dance to a likewise comfy song made more so by Andy's singing and I get a genuine burst of serotonin revisiting it (and lowkey that scene/song alone was what got me to watch the musical for the first time a couple years back :> if ya also have knowledge on who animated their dance or any part of Rag Dolly for that matter that'd be cool to learn about too! but I understand if that might end up being a lot to share :0)

AAAH i love love love that sequence so much!! its the cutest dance it has so much character and Andy's voice becoming so gentle and sweet right after singing No Girl's Toy is just the best thing ever. he doesn't even like Babette he's just helping his sister make a good impression.

analysis under the readmore:

what's crazy is looking through this whole book - i'm talking about The Animated Raggedy Ann  & Andy - An Intimate Look at the Art of Animation Its History, Techniques, and Artists by John Canemaker (the linked version has no pictures D-:) - Rag Dolly isn't really mentioned that much, despite being essentially the main theme music.

i would love to tell you more for a fact, but i just can't say for sure who animated it, as a lot of scenes aren't credited individually.

for some songs, like Richard Williams doing No Girl's Toy, Tissa David doing Candy Hearts, Art Babbitt doing Blue, and Emery Hawkins doing Never Get Enough, the artists get a section dedicated to them and the main chunk of animation work they contributed. in the credits of the film, Art Babbitt animates the Camel, Emery Hawkins animates the Greedy, etc etc - they were generally in charge of those character-centric scenes, along with a team of inbetweeners, painters, etc.

there isn't one for Rag Dolly, since it's relatively short and bounces between characters. so basically TAKE ALL OF THIS WITH A GRAIN OF SALT!!!

the ONLY expertise i have is that 1. ive flipped thru john canemaker's book and 2. i love this movie so much

what i CAN do is make wild guesses ^_^ and this first little verse as Ann fidgets with her dress and apron just SCREAMS Tissa David to me. here's a pose from that sequence side-by-side with one of her famous (and one of my favourite) Raggedy Ann drawings.

here's something she notes about Ann's first action sequence of falling off the chair (she was set to work on candy hearts before anything else, to really get to know the characters):

and here's a fantastically convenient gifset from Rag Dolly. EVERYTHING!!! her hair falling in her face, the movement of the fabric, the wonderful sense of timing. also note the lack of eyelashes, which isnt exclusive to one artist or anything, but does pop up in David's drawings:

now to go on a tangent about an artist who could well have worked on that scene, and whom i wish there was some more info about!!!

"The only thing that Disney never understood is that to animate girls, one must be a girl!" - Tissa David believed (along with pretty much the rest of the team) that herself and Chrystal Russell (whose work is woefully sparse in the book but very much present in the movie) were the best animators of 'little Annie'. she also worked on Fern Gully; you can find her credits under her married name, Chrystal Klabunde! she supported Tissa as the primary actor for Raggedy Ann, and her style appears as this distinctive, adorable, muppet-y look throughout the film. these pics are examples of, if not her own drawings, then her stylistic influence in these scenes:

she's credited as animating the playroom dolls, but you can notice her influence in Annie come through from the beginning ('I Look, and What Do I See?') to the end ('Home') of the whole thing. like i said, the credits are never too specific, but if i had to GUESS, then this looks like her stuff. we also know for a fact she worked on the first song because of this lovely set of drawings in the book!

here's the sweetest photo of Didi Conn (Ann's voice) and Chrystal together with some clean-up sheets of a shot right before Rag Dolly - when Ann introduces herself to Babette, 'my name is Raggedy Ann, and this is my brother, Raggedy Andy,' (i still can't confirm whether they're her drawings but i wouldn't be surprised!):

anyway tl;dr: i have no way of knowing for sure who was in charge of it, and no doubt a whole team of artists were involved, (and i'm in no way trying to discredit anyone if i'm wrong) but my best guess is you can thank Tissa David for the first part, and Chrystal Russell (now Chrystal Klabunde) for their dance together - the animation changes subtley between those shots. i wish i had more artists/resources to look at, or god forbid a full breakdown of that scene, but at this point i would bet money on David's part in Annie's little introduction.

also some final appreciation for this silly slide to the ground that Andy finishes with:

anyway i'm SO sorry for going on such a long rant in response to this lovely ask!! and i'm sorry it took so long! it took so long, in fact, that i was actually accepted into university halfway through writing it the other day! so thank you!

i had so much fun playing amateur detective so double thank you!!! again i'm probably wrong about ALL of this but it was a blast to reread sections of the book and rewatch different bits of the movie to sleuth around for clues. i hope whatever i have come up with is of some interest to you, and i hope someone learned something about the wonderful artists behind this movie :-D

chrystal and raggedy ann ^_^

[pinkandpurple360]

IDK if it’s a hot take but I actually like Asmodeus as a softie (albeit still flawed - he is a demon). Even in original myths he’s more of a trickster and protector than adversary.

That said, he really did just become the Millie to Fizz’s Moxxie and THAT pisses me off! Like he just kinda exists to comfort Fizz, who adopted Moxxie’s personality out of nowhere.

There are some really great Fizzarozzie fanworks I enjoy way more than canon, not because it’s toxic or anything, but because it was loving but also fun. There are good canon moments (I actually thought the breakfast and workshop scenes in Oops were really well-done) but a lot of it isn’t fun anymore (especially everything in the Mammon - Crooked makes me want to die) because we know what’s going to happen with them - bland heteronormative MoxMil Part 2.

Again I don’t think they have to be super toxic or mean or anything, they should just be like, for lack of better comparison … Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets. Love roasting the shit out of people for funsies, but generally aren’t malicious unless you piss them off, and are ride or die for each other. Cuddly but also horny at the same time. Not a literal Disney movie Mary Sue Lore Olympus fanfic.

Oh no no me too! But what I like is the idea that he had to work to get there, he seems like he’s had a lot of therapy himself, including some rage issues, which fit into his lore, that he’s overcome. And a masculine character like him showing vulnerability and overcoming aggression to reach softness instead, but eventually to everyone, not just fizz. Is a good message. Him being protective, but also possessive, is an interesting layer to explore. But they won’t. -_-

Yeah toxic or mean isn’t quite right…but cheeky is. Cheeky and audacious, they need to be fun and yknow, actually queer? Actually a queer friendly pair who create an lgbt and kink safe space. Honestly though? Viv creating what is essentially a queer and kink bar, and having them all be hostile to an m/f vanilla monogamous couple, is so…stereotypy. (I know MnM are both bi but here me out) that’s like how monogamous straight people who’ve never left straight conservative spaces, think that lgbt spaces are like.

Not a sub fem princess and a masc dom daddy -_- be fr. Sorry but making them heteronormative isn’t what was subversive, it was the tenderness in between the lust. That’s just gone now if you’re trying to sell that they’re in reality, barely kinky and that he coddles him. And personally I think making Ozzie solely in charge of managing fizz’s disability is what killed it for me. It’s no longer “fizz and oz are partners” it’s “fizz is so weak that he literally wouldn’t last five minutes alive without Asmodeus”

Also? Fans saying that Fizz can never leave Asmodeus because he can just never let anybody else see his disabled body or ever be able to manage his disabilities without Asmodeus and only Asmodeus? Yeah. That’s. ableism. And codependency. He should be with him because he wants to be, not because he has to be.

Oh my god. They’re literally those two, they even sit up in the same theatre area together. Man people are going to actually kill me for this but I ship them as platonic best friends who work at the same job and are flirty as the job requires but see other people. Idk I feel like it’s more fun, like you said.

Crooked was nice but at the same time, i did the fangirl squeals. But….for whatever reason, I was pretty happy when Blitz burst in and, literally, broke it up. I didn’t even ship blitzfizz yet but that scene awoke something in me then I rewatched Oops and saw the letter and flower that I didn’t see the first time, then went back and saw Blitzs jealous faces and jealous behaviour and——

Pictured—literally me piecing it all together

[mariacallous]

The Muppet Christmas Carol has been voted the best Christmas film of all time in our annual readers' poll – knocking previous winner It's A Wonderful Life off the top spot.

Frank Capra's iconic 1946 drama starring James Stewart has consistently been named the winner of the poll in the many years that RadioTimes.com has been running it, but has to settle for second place this time around, after securing 16 per cent of the vote - compared to 20 per cent for the winner.

Brian Henson's irreverent take on Charles Dickens's classic Yuletide yarn – which famously starred Michael Caine as notorious miser Ebenezer Scrooge alongside a cast of Muppets – had previously finished runner-up, but now tops the poll one year after it celebrated its 30th anniversary.

As it was crowned, Henson spoke exclusively to RadioTimes.com about topping the list – describing the result as "wonderful" news.

"I'm very proud of the movie and I'm thrilled that people appreciate it so much," he said. "It was a very special piece, it took a lot of people working really hard and we really put our hearts into it. And I'm thrilled that it's so popular and it seems to be even building the popularity, which is great."

It's a fitting year for the film to have won the poll given Caine recently announced that he was retiring from acting, and Henson paid tribute to the star and his "incredible body of work", calling him the "quintessential working actor."

He added: "It was really fun doing Christmas Carol with him because he so appreciated all of the humour around him. But he played his part very, very seriously. He said to me, 'I'm going to act as if I'm working in the Royal Shakespeare Company and that's only going to make the Muppets even funnier and more delightful.'

"And he was absolutely right. But it was wonderful because he'd do a take where he's so severe and dark, and then I'd call cut, and then he just start laughing at everything that was going on around him. So he was really just a delight to work with."

Meanwhile, Henson also urged fans to watch one version of his film in particular – specifically the longer cut containing the previously lost song When Love Is Gone, which was added to Disney Plus for UK viewers a few years ago.

"When [the song] is in the movie, the structure of the movie is much, much better," he said. "And the emotional arc for Scrooge and Michael's performance is much, much better. He tuned his entire performance going into that moment and coming out of it and then to sort of cut the meat of it was a real shame, so it's great to have it back in!"

In total, there were 27 films on our shortlist – from classic Hollywood fare such as White Christmas all the way up to last year's Spirited.

The third place position went to 1990's Home Alone, which gained 8 per cent of the vote, while Love Actually came in fourth – also with 8 per cent, but marginally fewer votes – and Die Hard rounded out the top five with 7 per cent of the vote.

Interestingly, Elf, which has regularly been a fixture in the top five and celebrates its 20th anniversary this year, dropped down to eighth position, with Miracle on 34th Street and animated gem The Snowman both coming ahead of the Will Ferrell classic in the final results.

[stitchyblogs]

Stitchy, How Do I Get Back into The Muppets?

Muppet memes are everywhere. They trend every time Brett Goldstein gets his hands on a microphone, or a British politician puts their foot in their mouth. Let the Muppets host the Oscars! Miss Piggy dumps Pete Davidson! Knives Out III! But, reader... it’s been a long time since you last hopped over to sip Lipton��s on Kermit’s lily pad, hasn’t it? And you kind of miss it.

I’m imagining you, dear reader. Not in a weird way or anything... I’m just being transparent about who I intend my audience to be, because I have Twitter poisoning. You know how it is, you rascal, you. I know, because I’m imagining you into existence! Let’s just go with it! Yeah, so- I bet you’re thirty something, low forties. You say ‘No worries!’ a lot, but you sure do have worries. How can you not? You’re way too online, but you hope to the Great Gazoo you’re pulling it off, looking merely casually plugged in, in public. You maybe don’t have kids, who've forced you to plumb the depths of Disney +, but you do have it, because you’re not immune to Baby Yoda and the bionic biceps of a one Bucky Barnes. Aside from that fatuous affair, you’re also in a ever evolving polycule with at least three streaming services, but they still aren’t *quite* delivering what you need from the relationship. You kind of miss being restricted to whatever 6 VHS tapes were in the TV hutch of your childhood home. If you’re too young for VHS, you at least remember having to mail actual disks back and forth with Netflix. You remember that once, practical effects were the only effects. You have taste! And curiosity! And heart! You tear up when you think about Mr. Rogers for too long, which is very sexy of you. Most importantly, dear reader, you appreciate a bit of cornball. You like a lil goof. A cheeky lil pun. A gag so cheap, the shopkeeper is looking the other way as you pocket it, secretly stoked to get it off the damn shelf already... Nobody’s looking, ya know. It’s okay to admit it! You like hokey jokes. In fact, you're spiritually wearing boxers with hearts on them right now, just in case. Not that I’m imagining you in your spiritual underwear.

Did I make it weird?

Shh, shh, it’s fine. I’m Stitchy, by the way! I am alllllll of these things too- it’s fine! Well, I’m not super into Bucky, if we’re being honest- which we are! Because we’re friends now! And you know, friends can ask each other embarrassing questions. Your question is the headline of this, so I won’t beat around the bush anymore. I’m gonna do you a solid. I’m gonna tell you.... How to get back into the Muppets.

Hey, wait! You sneak! You! That guy peeking over the shoulder of the reader I was just talking to. You’ve never seen any Muppets on purpose at all, and you’re hoping I can set you up, too? Ha! I knew it… Yeah, that’s okay. You can follow this list. I won’t rat you out, as long as you don’t tell Rizzo I said ‘rat’ in that context.

Muppet Immersion PART 1:  The New Shit.

You’ve already seen the stuff that came down the pipeline in the 90’s. You Mnah Mnah’ed your butt off in your tender youth, and nowadays you still get a little confused when there’s only one Marley in non-Muppet Christmas Carols. You vaguely know that the good people at Henson Co. made post-Y2K projects, but you haven’t checked them out, because you had important, more grown up things to worry about, like curating your MySpace top eight. Then time got away from you. That’s okay, bud- because I’ve been on my muppetfrickin’ grind.

(One note: not all Muppet Materials are made with our age group in mind, and that’s okay! I’m sure Muppet Babies 2.0 has its moments, but we’re only looking at the slightly more mature pieces.)

1. The Muppets, 2011 (watch on Disney +)

They struck gold when tapping lifelong muppet freak Jason Segel to write and star in the Muppet’s comeback to the silver screen. With the expert musical-comedy midwifery of Flight of the Conchord’s James Bobin (director), and Bret McKenzie (music), a beautiful baby Muppet was born! It’s a classic tale of “We’ve gotta get the band back together and put on the best show this town has ever seen Or Else!”. The Or Else, if you’re wondering, is oil tycoon Chris Cooper’s plan to obliterate the Muppet Theater. Best work he’s ever done, I tell ya. Same goes for Amy Adams, who absolutely nails her role as the doting but levelheaded Mary, who’s fiancé is troublingly codependent with his Muppet brother, Walter. Oh, Walter. A wide eyed, whistling optimist, who deserves love and puppies and the whole entire world. In the words of Phil Spector (Yikes) to know know know him is to love love love him. A great entry point for returning, or newly budding Muppet enthusiasts. Highlights include the knock off ‘Moopets’, hostage Jack Black, and Muppet turned man Jim Parsons.

1.5 The sequel, Muppets Most Wanted, 2014 (also available on Disney +) doesn’t work for me. Seeing as it’s my guide to Muppet Immersion, I say you can skip it if you’re not feeling like another feature film, just now! My beef may not be your beef, though. (Too much Ricky Gervais, too much faux-Kermit, and not enough Walter... ((My soul will never be at rest until I understand why TPTB lost faith in Walter as the new audience surrogate. I can only hope Serial has plans to investigate.))) Maybe Muppets Most Wanted will work for you! Definitely DO NOT MISS the absolute feast of bops, again penned by Bret McKenzie:

1.5 a. “I’ll Give it To You” 

1.5 b. The Interrogation Song, a thrilling double act by Ty Burrell and Sam the Eagle 

1.5 c. We’re Doing a Sequel!  

1.5 d. Something So Right featuring none other than powerhouse Celine Dion

1.5 e. Something So Right Demo Reel, because you need to have Bret’s Miss Piggy in your ears, too. 

Whenever Piggy wears a hat with one lil’ ear out!? That’s the good stuff.

2. It’s time to play the music, it’s time to light the lights, it’s time to fire up the Baby Yoda machine to watch The Muppets, 2015. Confusing, yeah... It’s the same-named, but sadly short lived series, spun out from the success of the new films. The docu-sitcom format is a natural fit for the fourth-wall breaking Muppets. For the first time since 1984’s Muppets Take Manhattan, Kermit is solidly the leading man. We find him back in the studio, producing Up Late With Miss Piggy, amidst a flurry of Muppet interpersonal problems. As a quintessential Will They, Won’t They couple of the last half a century- it’s kind of incredible that the Muppet media that best portrays why Kermit and Piggy love each other is the one where they are very emphatically Did, But Don’t Anymore. It’s a refreshingly grown-up main story line! Aside from that- we all know C is for Cookie, but B is for B-Plots and running gags that absolutely slap. Fozzie’s beleaguered love life, Uncle Deadly’s wrangling of Piggy’s vast wardrobe, Scooter’s ongoing beef with his mother’s boyfriend, the meddling network president June Diane Raphael... I truly can’t get enough! Because they canceled it! Hmmph! And a pink satin heeled kick, and a hiiiii-ya!!

Anyway, the cameos and needle drops are expertly deployed, as fitting and offbeat as ever. I’m especially fond of Christina Applegate, Ed Helms, and Josh Groban’s appearances.

My absolute favorite episode, if you watch only one, is “Swine Song”. The network saddles Up Late With Miss Piggy with a brand manager who’s dead set on giving the show a face lift. Key and Peele, now reduced to running an Etsy shop after their own fiasco with the brand manager, feature.

I don’t know what happened, that we didn’t get more of The Muppets. Perhaps the 30 Rock-ification of the Muppets might have been more at home on a different network, with a different pool of veteran talents and sensibilities? Were we as a society just not ready in 2015 for a story about workplace friends, grounded by such sincerity? Eh, maybe. It’s no surprise Ted Lasso’s Bret Goldstein is one of the most vocal proponents for a Muppet comeback, with that in mind. Same niche!

If there is any justice in this universe… [clenches fist]

3. The Muppets Haunted Mansion, 2021, on Disney + is a welcome return to form after the platform’s first “exclusive” but paltry offering of Muppets Now (Don’t even... Don’t even bother to look…). Gonzo and Pepe challenge themselves to face their fears and spend the night in the spookiest place on earth, inspired by the beloved Disneyland ride. It’s great. If you’ve taken my advice this far and you’re still in, just. Just go for it. It’s 52 minutes. What else you got goin’ on? You’re elbow deep in some internet weirdo’s ramblings about a fifty year old troupe of talking socks.

Can’t get enough? Need to soak in hours more of puppety perfection?

4. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, 2019, Netflix. Not technically the Muppets TM, but absolutely a must see for a burgeoning Henson buff. Did you ever see the original 1982 film? Do! It’s rentable. The Dark Crystal is some high fantasy, live action, no humans, all puppet madness. It’s disturbing and strange and beautiful. An age old tale of corruption and ideals, told by some of the cutest, oddest little creatures you’ll ever see. (Deet and Hup!!!) And I mean. C’mon. The vocal talent! They didn’t even fit Bill Hader on the wiki cheat sheet, that’s how stacked it is!

5. Fraggle Rock: Back to the Rock, 2022, Apple TV. This one’s definitely made for the kids, but it’s exactly as lovingly rebooted as you hoped.

We’re getting down to some slim, definitely non mandatory pickings, now. Uhhhh…

6. Miss Piggy made an appearance on Drag Race!

7. The creature workshop whipped up some puppets for Coldplay’s Biutyful music video!

8. And here’s a half hour supercut of a bunch of ads featuring the Muppets, in the last fifteen years or so. It’s not entertainment, per se, but at the very least, you’ll see the Kermit Sipping Tea origin.

PART 2: Outside Readings

The road to your Masters in Muppetfrickery has been paved by many scholars. Here are a few peers whose work you might like to check out, now that you’re no longer a tadpole, but a fully grown frog, with hard cover books and podcast subscriptions, and junk!

Jim Henson: The Biography, by Brian Jay Jones

This book is exactly the comprehensive, compassionate deep dive you hope it is. Watch out, though! It did make me cry in an airport.

I Am Big Bird: The Caroll Spinney Story, 2015.

A feel good documentary about the man under the bird. Available on Prime, Peacock, and others.

Muppet Guys Talking, 2017

Five of the original Muppet performers discuss their iconic characters. Muppetguystalking.com

Street Gang: How We Got to Sesame Street, 2021.

You guessed it! A doc about Sesame Street, on HBO.

Defunctland has also done some stellar coverage of the Muppets, Fraggle Rock, and more!  

Follow ToughPigs.com for a survey of what's up and coming in the various Henson adjacent worlds, and top tier curation of Muppet history. They have a podcast, too!

If you are lucky enough to live in NYC or DC, you can even see some Muppets in person!

Museum of Moving Image 

The Smithsonian

PART 3: The Oldies!

Whatever Muppet movies you had access to as a kid- there’s a good chance there’s one you missed! Good news is there’s still time to play catch up- whew!

Stitchy’s TOP TEN of the pre 2000 canon:

1. THE MUPPET MOVIE 1979 (Disney +)

2. MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND 1996 (Disney +)

3. THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL 1992 (Disney +)

4. THE DARK CRYSTAL 1982 (Rent Only?)

5. LABYRINTH 1986 (Netflix)

6. THE GREAT MUPPET CAPER 1981 (Disney +)

7. MUPPETS FROM SPACE 1999 (Rent Only?)

8. THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN 1984 (Prime)

9. THE MUPPET SHOW 1976-1981*** (Disney +)

10. EMMET OTTER’S JUGBAND CHRISTMAS 1977 (Prime, Peacock)

If you’ve missed any of the top 5, BOY HOWDY are you in for a treat. Especially if you’ve never seen the original Muppet movie. I am on my hands and Always Conveniently Off Screen Knees, begging you to give it a shot. If it’s been decades- give it a watch with fresh eyes. It’s a sweet, simple, silly story about a frog who dreams of making people happy. It’s about art, and integrity, and joy, and friendship, and it’s just about the only place you’re gonna get Hare Krishna jokes, nowadays.

Of course, this list is just a start. There were quite a few obscure TV specials and series besides, but as they are very hard to track down on streaming, I won’t insist on their viewing. I do highly recommend the series Jim Henson’s The Storyteller, 1987-1989, however. These episodes are all self contained if you can dig one up on Google, and they are exquisite pieces of art. John Hurt stars as the gruff old Storyteller, weaving fantastical yet tactile folk tales that have stuck with me for decades.

***Sheesh! The Muppet Show is like, 44 hours of television. I can do better than just point you at it in its totality! That brings us to:

PART 4: Going Right to the Source.

It’s the OG. THE Muppet Show.

By all means, crack open that laptop and follow your nose! There are legends aplenty to pick from, and just about every one of the 120 episodes has a classic moment, somewhere in there. As you scroll through the many guests, I’m sure you’ll be drawn to such greats as Rita Moreno (This appearance is The E in her EGOT!), John Cleese, Julie Andrews, Bernadette Peters, Steve Martin, Elton John, Madeline Khan, Gilda Radner, the cast of Star Wars, and Carol Burnette. They all put on fantastic shows that are essential viewing, but I must also put in a good word for some personal favorites.

Paul Williams, one of the great American songwriters, author of The Rainbow Connection and many other classics 

Vincent Price, your favorite creepy uncle, and mine. (That’s right! We’re not just friends, we’re also cousins!)

Avery Schreiber, who never ever holds back, and whose episode features the fantastic Electric Mayhem rendition of “Tenderly”. 

Sandy Duncan, who’s “Nice Girl Like Me” is an unforgettable, leggy revamp of the Manilow classic.

Mummenschanz, who are impossible to describe, but who would have ruled Tik Tok.

Leo Sayer, serving up three of my favorite 70’s tunes.

Pearl Bailey, bringing down the house with a pastiche sure to delight any musical theater nerd.

Harry Belafonte. “Turn the World Around” never fails to bring a tear to my googly eye.

Linda Ronstadt, lacerating the ONLY live vocals in the history of the show, and also crushing so so hard on Kermie. Relatable af

PART 4: Looking Forward

 (video) 

And you may ask yourself, "What Muppet Am I?" And you may ask yourself, "Why are there so many songs about Rainbows?"

What should come next for the Muppets? I say, if Disney is gonna own everything and everypiggy, go whole hog! Make Kermit the Avenger’s new therapist. Maybe he’s outside their insurance network (and dimension) but they have great rapport! Give Piggy a real late night slot, and get Grogu on to host a remote segment! Keep making the kids their kid shows, but embrace the grown up Gen X and Millennial audience with their own fare. Get back to the Muppets Sex and Violence roots, I double dog dare ya! Make a Muppet dating sim! Reboot Statler and Waldorf: From the Balcony on Youtube! Hook up Lil Nas X with the Electric Mayhem! Stop dicking me around and get the Muppets to host the Oscars, for real! Bring back my best boy Walter, and take advantage of the Muppets’ unparalleled skill for literary adaptation. A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Muppet is a story that demands to be told! 

Well, we do know one new series on the way in 2023- The Muppets Mayhem. A junior record exec must wrangle the unwrangle-able Electric Mayhem through the modern music industry as they record an album. I don’t know about you, but I’m crossing my furry little fingers.

[mstrickster]

What are the BatFamily’s favorite Christmas movies?

Let me preface this by saying I do not deeply know all the Batfamily members. So I will not be including everyone. I hope that is OK.

Bruce: It depends on the timeframe. I truly believe broody, I work alone timeline; Bruce does not watch Christmas movies. He is in his emo phase and wants no joy. However, when he finally gets therapy he probably is a classic Christmas movie fan. I could see him enjoying the Rankin-Bass movies.

Cass: This might seem stereotypical, but I think Cass’ favorite holiday movie is The Nutcracker. I don’t believe it is any Hollywood-produced ones though. I believe she has a recorded version of a live performance.

Tim: I see Tim as a feral gremlin. Therefore I see his favorite holiday movie being Home Alone. He has wanted to out some of the traps. He won’t because it will make Bruce frown, but he has thought it out thoroughly.

Barbara: Barbara strikes me as someone who likes easygoing Christmas movies. It is a time for her to relax and decompress. So her favorite is probably Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas, it is mostly feel-good. Plus she likes the music.

Harley: I feel like Harley likes the weird holiday specials. Therefore, I could see her favorite being Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer. She loved the original song and the movie is just batshit crazy enough to make her laugh.

Jason: Jason is a classics nerd so his favorite is almost certainly A Christmas Carol. He says it is the Disney one because it is so close to the book. However, it is actually A Muppet’s Christmas Carol. He likes how the songs add to the story. Plus, it makes him laugh.

Dick: I think Dick’s favorite Christmas movie is Miracle on 34th Street. He thinks it is so heartwarming. Plus the vibe seems to fit it. It also makes him cry every time.

Selina: I’ll be honest I’m not really sure about Selina. Part of me thinks she isn’t particular about holiday movies. However, I do think she would love the option for a movie night with her “kittens”

Alfred: Alfred is a classics person. He likes It’s a Wonderful Life. It is cozy in his opinion. He has it memorized by this point. 

Duke: Duke is more sassy than people give him credit for. He is also more chaotic. Therefore, I think he would enjoy comedy holiday movies. His favorite is probably National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story.

Damian: Damian doesn’t much care for holiday movies at first. He finds them quite silly. However, there is one he watches religiously and that is Prancer. Dick was the one who suggested it because he knows Damian loves animals. Damian said it was ok, but Dick saw how close he watched it.

Kate: OK I feel like Kate is a spooky chick at heart. Therefore, I fully believe her favorite Christmas movie is The Nightmare Before Christmas. It is just the right amount of edge and holiday joy. 

Steph: Steph is another one who strikes me as kinda feral. I want to say she likes Home Alone too. However, I could also see her loving Home Alone 2: Lost in New York more. Only for the fact that it gives her and Tim something to debate about.

[signor-signor]

Trending 27th - March 2024

Talking to Craig McCracken

If you had a chance to talk to Craig McCracken, what would you say to him that not only complements him on the work he’s done in the past 30+ years, but also reassures him that there’s still interest in the plans he made for S3?

As someone who grew up watching Cartoon Network in the ‘90s, I would tell him…

“Hi, Craig-o, pleased to meet you! I’ve known your work since the early-mid nineties. I believe you were involved in 2 Stupid Dogs and Dexter’s Laboratory. It must have been a real treat getting to know some history behind Hanna-Barbera. I know it was for me. When I first saw a piece of your own work, it was on the side of a box of Fruity Pebbles promoting World Premiere Toons - one of the characters was Bubbles of the PPG. I gotta say, you’ve been one of my inspirations growing up.”

When it gets to the point where I talk about WOY, I would say this to him…

“I remember when I got into Wander Over Yonder. When I first saw your early sketches of him, I thought of Cantus the Minstrel from Fraggle Rock. And what can I say? I’m a sucker for anything related to Muppets. How about Jack McBrayer? He’s the perfect choice for the character’s voice! WOY marks the first time I got to hear Jack sing. It’s the show that provided the springboard for shows Disney apparently loves best, specifically Star vs. the Forces of Evil and Big City Greens - those shows wouldn’t have been picked up if it wasn’t for Daron Nefcy and the Houghton Bros.’ involvement in the first season. It’s also the first show where Andy Bean provided music for a TV series and where people like Noël Wells got to try their hand at voice acting. The show has made a lot more history than you can possibly imagine, so please don’t take it too lightly.”

Now comes the part where I talk about the elephant in the room, or rather, the ape in the space capsule…

“To be honest, I really looked forward to watching episodes of the show during its run. When I looked at your announcement about the premature cancellation and the plans you’d made for that third and final season, I was totally perplexed. Disney let Fish Hooks go on for three seasons regardless of content - was that because no one turned deaf ears or blind eyes to it? I always assumed they’d treat WOY the same way they treated FH.”

“Somehow it just doesn’t feel right to let your show bite the dust just because the “higher up bosses of bosses of bosses” didn’t see the need to make more, especially not after you made most fans aware of the existence of the plans for S3 and led them to believe it was guaranteed to be amazing. Why do you think I haven’t given up on WOY? And why else would I have Kid encourage viewers to watch the show (Kid Cosmic was great, by the way, one that definitely ended in victory)? I cannot think of any other show that was canceled one week before S2’s premiere, seven months after the S1 finale, five months after writing on S2 wrapped up, five months after your pitch for S3. You, Craig, are one of the most experienced cartoonists in the business and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

“To let you know just how determined I am to right this wrong, I worked four months on an Illustrator piece featuring over 140 individuals, built a LEGO Star Nomad (when I showed it to Dave Thomas (@owner-of-wendys), he said, “Dude… that Star Nomad is incredible. Well done!”), and wrote a pre-S3 shorts idea where Andy the Watchdog interviews refugees on the ex-secret planet. Heck, I even had to figure out what Star Force Enforcement Force look like and how the plot of S3 might play out.”

“@peepsqueak started the SaveWOY campaign, and I’m seeing to it that it shan’t be in vain. I know you’re busy with your other projects, but there is still a show waiting to be completed on your own terms. Until the time comes, keep making people smile! Darkest times call for sunniest of smiles!”

[madamegemknight]

I've finally watched the Muppets 2011 with my dad, and it was a blast!! I love its sense of humor (seriously, that Muppet man joke had me CACKLING), and it's so heart-warming in its simplicity and having a good time despite the trials the Muppets went through... I feel like I can't wipe this smile off my face (ehe)

Do you have any other Muppet or puppet media you'd recommend? I thought I'd ask you since you're the resident puppet expert, and I've been wanting to get into more puppet-related stuff :P

OH YAYYYY I’m so glad you liked it!!

And I do have other Muppet/puppet media I would recommend, thank you so much for asking (and gosh I am incredibly flattered you consider me the resident puppet expert). This is going to be LONG (sorry about that in advance), so under the cut it goes!

First off, I’d recommend the sequel to Muppets 2011, Muppets Most Wanted! It’s about the Muppets going on a world tour after getting back together in the previous movie, only for a criminal mastermind named Constantine (who looks exactly like Kermit) to hijack the tour, sending the real Kermit to prison and pretending to be Kermit so he can hide from the law and use the tour as a chance to steal the Crown Jewels. It’s a really great comedy heist that’s also an INCREDIBLE musical, and it has the same humor and sense of heart that Muppets 2011 has. I haven’t seen it in a while, but I have incredibly fond memories of watching it with my sibling when we were younger, and I think you would really enjoy it.

I would also recommend the original Muppet Show! I haven’t finished watching it yet (I’m on season 4 of 5 at the moment) but it’s a really fun show that serves as a love letter to old vaudeville theater and is just consistently entertaining. There’s no overarching plot and you can pretty much watch any episode in any order, though I would suggest that if you’re interested in checking it out, you watch the Harry Belafonte episode first - it’s regarded by a lot of fans (including me) as being the best episode of the series, and gives a very good idea of what the rest of the show is like.

(Also I HIGHLY recommend you watch the pitch reel for The Muppet Show, which you can find on YouTube here. It’s not essential viewing by any means, but it’s very funny and gives a bit of context for what the field of entertainment was like at the time the show was pitched)

The original trilogy of Muppet films are also absolutely stellar. The Muppet Movie is the story of how the Muppets got together, The Great Muppet Caper is essentially an AU where Fozzie and Kermit are brothers working for a newspaper and trying to prove Miss Piggy innocent of a jewel robbery, and Muppets Take Manhattan is essentially an AU where the Muppets were all friends in college and are trying to put on a show in New York. The original trilogy films are really fun in my opinion because they play fast and loose with what’s real and what’s fake; Kermit admits at the beginning of The Muppet Movie that it’s only an approximate retelling of how the Muppets actually got together, and the other two movies in the trilogy are telling completely separate stories than the main Muppet timeline, with The Great Muppet Caper even having an entire song devoted to telling the audience that it’s just a movie and that it isn’t actually canon. They all have INCREDIBLE soundtracks, too, the songs from these movies are some of my favorite Muppet songs ever.

Fraggle Rock isn’t really considered a piece of Muppet media anymore, since when Disney bought the rights to the Muppets they didn’t bother buying it as well, but it was originally a Muppet production and all of the stuff I watched as a kid referred to it as a Muppet production, so I’m counting it as a Muppet production still lol. Fraggle Rock is an absolutely amazing show on all levels; the puppetry is great, the songs are all stellar, the characters are so well-written, and despite being a show aimed at kids it never talks down to its audience, handling serious issues like death and prejudice with the respect they deserve. It’s probably best to go into Fraggle Rock as blind as possible (unlike The Muppet Show, there is an overarching story, though you don’t really find out that there is one until towards the end of Season 1) so all I’ll say is that it’s probably one of my favorite Muppet productions ever and that the finale, without exaggeration, made me cry for 30 minutes straight. There’s also a Fraggle Rock reboot called Fraggle Rock: Back to The Rock, and while I personally don’t think it’s as good as the original series, it’s still REALLY amazing and you can tell that the team working on it really cares about the og series. If you do end up watching Fraggle Rock, I’d recommend the reboot as well!

Getting into a bit more obscure territory here, but Tales From Muppetland: The Frog Prince is very near and dear to my heart. It’s a Muppet retelling of the Frog Prince fairytale, with the twist that the princess has been cursed by the same witch that the frog prince has been cursed by! The relationship between Prince Robin and Princess Melora is really cute, and it’s clear that the two of them really care for each other. I love the changes that it makes to the original fairytale, too; I mentioned the twist of Melora also being cursed, which gives her and Robin the chance to bond and leads to a very sweet song about finding someone who understands who you are and what you’ve gone through, but the story is also altered so that Robin explains why he needs Melora to kiss him instead of hiding the fact that he’s a prince from her - she doesn’t believe him, but I’m glad they made that change regardless. The witch is also a really fun villain! She’s reused from a previous Muppet production (Tales of The Tinkerdee) that was meant to be a pilot for a planned show but was never picked up, and I’m really glad she got a chance to shine in something that was actually officially released.

Sam and Friends is the first ever Muppet series, debuting in 1955, and while most of it is unfortunately lost media there are a couple episodes you can find online! I really like Sam and Friends (I have a book all about the making of the show), and I would recommend it both as a way to look at how far television puppetry has come and as just a genuinely very entertaining show in its own right - plus, the episodes are only 5 minutes long, so you can get through all the available episodes pretty quickly. My personal favorite episode is “Powder Burn,” a parody of the show Gunsmoke.

Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas is probably one of my favorite Christmas specials ever, despite me only watching it for the first time this past December. It’s a very earnest and emotional story about a family (Emmet Otter and his mother Alice Otter) living in poverty after the death of Emmet’s father. Both Emmet and Alice want to be able to give each other a good Christmas present, so they both enter the local talent contest on Christmas Eve in order to win the cash prize without telling each other. The soundtrack is done by the same man who did the soundtrack for The Muppet Movie (Paul Williams), and is just GORGEOUS - it manages to be silly and heartfelt at the same time, and does some really interesting stuff with the instrumentals, like having a kazoo solo during one of the more somber songs which somehow actually works! Like Fraggle Rock, it it isn’t afraid of tackling serious issues like death and poverty, and like Fraggle Rock, it made me bawl like a baby.

Finally, I would recommend both the documentary Of Muppets and Men and the Jim Henson Hour episode “Secrets of The Muppets” (I sadly haven’t watched enough of The Jim Henson Hour to give a proper recommendation, but from the little I’ve seen it’s very good). Both of these tackle the behind the scenes of working on the Muppets, with Of Muppets and Men being about the making of The Muppet Show specifically and “Secrets of The Muppets” being a general overview of the stuff the Muppets had done up to that point. I completely understand if you don’t want to see the behind the scenes workings of the Muppets (my mom doesn’t like seeing that kind of thing either and I get why), but if you do want to see it I can’t recommend these two enough. They do an excellent job at introducing and highlighting the skills of the troupe of Muppet performers, detailing specific tricks of puppeteering, and showing how everything comes together.

There’s definitely more Muppet media I want to recommend, but if I did so we’d be here FOREVER, and I still haven’t gotten to the puppet media recommendations! This list does serve as a pretty good starting point though - if you like Frog Prince and Jug-Band Christmas you’ll probably like the rest of the Tales From Muppetland specials, if you like one of the original trilogy of Muppet movies you’ll probably like the others in the trilogy, if you like Sam and Friends you’ll probably like the Muppets’ appearances on shows like the Ed Sullivan Show or the Jimmy Dean show that they made during that period, etc. Most of this stuff is on YouTube or the Internet Archive, but if you’re looking for something specific and can’t find it, let me know and I’ll do my best to locate it 👍

AND NOW AFTER 50 MILLION PARAGRAPHS WE ARE ON TO THE PUPPET MEDIA IN GENERAL RECOMMENDATIONS

I have to start this list off with my favorite movie of all time, The Dark Crystal. It’s a fantasy epic done entirely with puppets, and it is utterly gorgeous. All of the puppets are so detailed (I had the absolute blessing to see some of them when a local museum held a puppetry exhibit and the sheer amount of tiny details you can’t even SEE in the film are incredible), the world is so richly developed, the soundtrack is absolutely top-tier, and the amount of innovations in puppetry that this film causes are mind-blowing. There are traditional puppets, people in suits, radio-controlled puppets…the list goes on! I cannot recommend The Dark Crystal enough, it means so much to me and is probably the reason I’m so obsessed with puppets in the first place. It also has a prequel on Netflix called Age of Resistance - like the Fraggle Rock reboot, I don’t think it’s as good as the og, but it’s still absolutely stunning and the team working on it clearly cares about the world of the original film. Sadly, the prequel was cancelled after only one season :( I still recommend it if you like the film, but just go into it knowing that it’s gonna end on a cliffhanger.

The Little Shop of Horrors movie has an absolutely AMAZING puppet in the form of Audrey II, the film’s main antagonist. There are multiple Audrey II puppets, as the character grows throughout the entire film, and the biggest one required over 50 puppeteers to operate. There are no opticals or blue screens used for Audrey II (except for one scene at the very end of the film that they had to reshoot), and the effect is mind blowing. Little Shop is an absolutely incredible film overall, too, and thankfully doesn’t use Audrey II as a selling point or a gimmick - the puppet is incorporated very naturally into the film, and you appreciate the puppetry much more as a result.

I haven’t watched Labyrinth, but my sibling has and they really like it! From what I’ve seen of the puppetry, it’s really well done, and the movie seems very fun. Sorry I can’t give a better recommendation than that lol.

If we’re counting stop-motion animation as a form of puppetry (which I personally do considering the models are typically referred to as puppets), then I absolutely recommend checking out the work of LAIKA, which includes productions such as Coraline and Kubo and The Two Strings. I also highly recommend Wendell and Wild, made by former LAIKA supervising director Henry Selick, as well as Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio. All of these films are stunning, and they absolutely deserve the hype that surrounds them.

This one is a bit more preschool-centric, but when I was very little I was OBSESSED with Johnny and The Sprites, and having watched a bit of it again recently, I feel it still holds up somewhat for older audiences. It’s a show about a musician named Johnny who moves to a house in the woods in order to focus on his music only to find that the house is next to Grotto’s Grove, where a species of fairy-like beings called the Sprites live. The series is focused on Johnny teaching the Sprites about human stuff and the Sprites teaching Johnny about Sprite stuff in turn. It’s a very cute and charming show :3

On the complete opposite end of the spectrum is Mystery Science Theater 3000, a show about a man trapped in space with 4 robot companions and forced to watch bad movies as part of an evil science experiment. It’s very goofy and very immature at times, and 99% of the time you need a guide to understand the stuff they reference, but it’s great regardless, and despite being very simple the puppets are really well-designed. Unfortunately, one of the characters is named after the ethnic slur used against Romani people in the show’s original run; it wasn’t done out of any intentional malice and the creators changed her name when the show was revived and viewers expressed their concern, but if that sours your opinion on watching the original show I completely understand.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared is a classic, and for good reason - both the original webseries and the tv show riff off of and play with the stereotypes of traditional children’s puppet shows, while still clearly respecting the art of puppetry and giving it their own unique spin. It’s definitely on the spookier/gorier side of things, so MASSIVE content warning if you want to check it out, but DHMIS is very good and I adore it.

And with that, this very very very VERY long list comes to an end. I definitely didn’t mention everything that I wanted to - there are some excellent pieces of puppet media, like Starkid’s Starship, that I just haven’t gotten around to watching and thus can’t properly recommend - but like with the Muppet section, I’d suggest using this as a starting point. There’s a TON of puppet media out there, and this is just scratching the surface!

I hope this list helps, and that you find something on here that you enjoy :D

[wickedlysecret]

Something I’ve been lowkey obsessing over for the past few years has been The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992), which is quite possibly my favorite Christmas movie ever. It’s fun, it’s funny, it has cute moments, Michael Caine is absolutely the best Scrooge to ever Scrooge… I can’t sing this movie’s praises enough. I was so excited when it was included on Disney+, so I could watch it pretty much whenever the desire struck.

The thing is, there’s another Christmas Carol adaptation that I loved to watch as a child that’s also on Disney+: Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983). It’s another retelling of the same story, and yet… it doesn’t really hit in the same way that the Muppet one does. And I can’t stop thinking about why that would be the case. What do the Muppets do in their adaptation that Mickey and his friends don’t do in theirs?

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m going to sit here and compare and contrast these adaptations, with pictures and quotes. This is gonna be one of those “In this essay I will” posts, except the essay actually follows under a cut. After all, I’m nothing if not a former English major with weird hyperfixations.

I broke down the places where the differences are strongest into four parts: The Spirits/Ghosts of Christmas Whatever; the inclusion of a comedic Narrator character; the simple fact that the Muppets are Actors in their own right; and the entire “Christmas Future” part of the story.

1. The Spirits. 

For the Muppets, new characters have been created for the roles. These characters were only ever used for these roles, and we never see them again in other Muppet productions, save for Jacob (and Robert) Marley, as played by Statler and Waldorf, whom I’ll talk about at another point.

These new characters make much of the dialogue work, as well, with much of their exchanges with Scrooge at least sounding, if not actually being exactly as written in the original Christmas Carol. The supernatural look of the little ghosty Spirit of Christmas Past helps to sell the whole picture when they say lines like, “A touch of my hand, and you shall fly.” The jolly, bumbly, ginger-haired-Santa lookalike Spirit of Christmas Present is personable and friendly, even able to make a mean and grumpy man like Scrooge joke and laugh with joy. And the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come is faceless, imposing, and silent. They communicate through pointing, or a guiding hand, and they chill both Scrooge and the audience without saying a single word, merely showing Scrooge the future that awaits him.

Disney, perhaps understandably, made use of some of their existing Intellectual Properties (IPs) instead of creating new characters to serve as the Spirits. Jiminy Cricket is our Ghost of Christmas Past; The Giant (from Mickey and the Beanstalk) makes a surprising return to the screen as the Ghost of Christmas Present; and finally, in a jarring reveal which I could argue was made only for the purpose of having yet another IP make an appearance, Pete fills the role of the Ghost of Christmas Future. These are characters with personalities that the audience already presumably knows, and while they are able to fill their roles to a degree, they also come with baggage, for lack of a better term. They struggle to keep a balance of their original personalities, while also donning the personalities of their Christmas Carol roles.

Jiminy attempts to give sage advice to Ebenezer Scrooge (McDuck), in the same manner as he had with Pinnochio, but a stern little cricket lecturing an old man duck just doesn’t feel right. And the giant is also bumbling, sure, but more than that, he’s just… stupider than the Muppet Spirit. Caine’s Scrooge even remarks “You’re a little absentminded, spirit,” to which the Muppet Spirit of Christmas Present replies, “No, I’m a large absentminded spirit!” The giant’s version of the Spirit is just your run-of-the-mill comedic relief idiot. As for Pete’s ghost, he’s silent and somewhat imposing for almost the entire Christmas Future segment, until he removes his hood and scares Scrooge into his empty grave with some mean remark. And the mean remark is truly what ruins Pete as the Spirit of Christmas Future; this Spirit isn’t mean, but rather delivering harsh truths. The purpose of the Spirit of Christmas Future is to really drive home to Scrooge that, if he doesn’t change his ways, this is the unfortunate future that awaits him. It’s the future itself that’s supposed to scare Scrooge, not the Spirit delivering the message.

In essence, by not only using existing IPs for the Spirits in the story, but miscasting the Spirits with IPs that don’t work for their roles, Mickey’s Christmas Carol confuses the whole message that A Christmas Carol is supposed to convey.

Finally, as I mentioned, I want to talk about our Marleys. In The Muppet Christmas Carol, Marley is the only spirit for whom they’ve used an existing character–or, rather, characters. They’ve cast the grumpy old men, Statler and Waldorf, as Jacob and Robert Marley. They have a silly song they sing to Scrooge, which still manages to terrorize the man, and to be fair, the spirits of Scrooge’s old business partners are warning him of something terrible coming for him: more ghosts. We’re still early in the story at this point, so the Muppets wouldn’t be taking their big guns out yet, so imparting a scary warning in the form of a light and fun musical number is… well, it’s very on brand.

Meanwhile in Mickey’s, we have Goofy as Jacob Marley. I’ll talk more about this casting choice later, but the short of it is: why? Goofy’s not a mean OR selfish guy at all, and I can’t understand this role placement for him. He’s very stern with Scrooge, and it’s hard to take him seriously at all, and to top it all off he falls down the stairs at the end of his scene, with his trademark “Yaaaaah-hoo-hoo-hoo-eeeeeeee” shout and all. It doesn’t fit the character they’re trying to have him portray.

2. The comedic benefits of a Narrator Character. 

In the beginning of The Muppet Christmas Carol, the audience is introduced to Gonzo and Rizzo on the streets of the British Muppet City.

“Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story!” “And I am here for the food!” “My name is Charles Dickens.” “And my name is Rizzo the Rat! Hey, wait a second…”

Gonzo and Rizzo, from this point forward, are the audience’s guide throughout the story of A Christmas Carol, there to explain, buffer, and offer comedic relief. They break the fourth wall, talking about and to the audience, and referring to any children who might be watching.

“Whoa, that’s scary stuff. Hey, should we be worried about the kids in the audience?” “Nah, that’s alright, this is culture.”

Gonzo and Rizzo carry a lot, and I mean a lot of the comedic moments within The Muppet Christmas Carol, leaving the story’s characters to portray the story, without strange interruptions from within. Well, for the most part. There are moments where comedy comes from within the story.

“If you please, Mr. Scrooge? It’s gotten colder… and the bookkeeping staff would like to have an extra shovelful of coal for the fire.” “We can’t do the bookkeeping.” “Yeah, all of our pens have turned to ink-cicles!” “Our assets are frozen!” “How would the bookkeepers like to be suddenly… UNEMPLOYED?!” “HEAT WAVE! This is my island in the sun!”

There are also moments where Gonzo Dickens and Rizzo interact with characters in the story, breaking the fourth wall further for more comedy.

“It is the American way!” “Sam! [Unintelligible whispering]” “Ah. It is the British way!” “Good.”

And of course there are moments where the characters’ existing personalities do come forward through their acting, such as when Miss Piggy, as Emily Crachit, calls Kermit (Bob Crachit) “Crachie”, in a play on her nickname for Kermit, “Kermie”.

The thing to note about all of these moments of comedy, is that none of them interrupt the story for the sake of a joke, or a catchphrase. The story continues without a hitch.

It also means that, when Gonzo Dickens and Rizzo leave at the beginning of Scrooge’s time with the Ghost of Christmas Future, they take just about every chance at joyful comedy with them. The audience knows their absence means things are about to get serious.

Without a similar character to bear some of the comedic weight, it all rests on the shoulders of the characters in Mickey’s Christmas Carol’s story. There’s plenty of jokes and humor, of course, but most of it is slapstick-ish, and typical of a cartoon; for example, Scrooge asking about Crachit’s daily pay, recalling it to be two shillings, only for Crachit to interrupt that it’s two shillings and a ha'penny–a raise that originated three years ago, when Crachit started doing Scrooge’s laundry. The jump into Christmas Future doesn’t have a smooth transition, leaving the audience rather jarred at the sudden change in tone; in particular, when Pete’s embodiment of the Spirit suddenly starts speaking, where previously he’d been silent.

3. The Muppets Are Actors. 

In every Muppet production, one of the things that makes the entire experience work is that nobody in the canon recognizes the Muppets as anything other than the characters they’re portraying. Nobody looks at Kermit and goes, ‘Why is there a talking frog made of felt here?’ That’s exactly the way someone should act with the Muppets, and, according to an interview with Brian Henson, that was Michael Caine’s intention from the very beginning when he was asked to play Scrooge.

"When I met Michael Caine to talk about playing Scrooge, one of the first things he said was: “I’m going to play this movie like I’m working with the Royal Shakespeare Company. I will never wink, I will never do anything Muppety. I am going to play Scrooge as if it is an utterly dramatic role and there are no puppets around me.”

The fact that the illustrious actor understood the assignment from the beginning, without even being told, works wonders for this movie. Caine said in an interview with GQ that, before The Muppet Christmas Carol, he’d never done a movie that a child, like his then-seven-year-old daughter, could see; this was his motivation in choosing the role. He then went on to discuss how one is meant to act with the Muppets.

Interviewer: When you’re talking to Kermit, where do you look? Do you look him in the eye? Caine: Yes. You look him straight in the eye. It’s like talking to a real actor. And the guy is just down below, buried in the floor.

This is a man with a great respect for and understanding of the Muppets, their work, and of course their puppeteers. When asked who is more famous, himself or Kermit, Caine replies that of course Kermit is the more famous, as he should be.

Caine: Oh Kermit is much more famous, because he’s known by children as well as all adults. And I’m known by many, many, many adults, but he’s known by all adults. And then I’m known by few children, but he’s known by every child.

(As a side note, this is a delightful interview with Michael Caine, and he’s just as pleased with and delighted by The Muppet Christmas Carol as the rest of us.)

In contrast with Mickey’s Christmas Carol, the casting for the Mickey Mouse & Friends characters into their Christmas Carol roles feels like it was done without much consideration or thought, beyond the logic of ‘Mickey Should Be Bob Crachit, Donald Should Be Scrooge’s Nephew, Of Course Scrooge McDuck Should Be Ebenezer Scrooge’, and so on.

For example, the part of Jacob Marley is played by Goofy. Marley’s character, or rather his ghost, is one that exists as Scrooge’s warning, both of his night to come and what awaits him if he doesn’t change his ways. Marley was just about as bad as Scrooge in life, hence all his chains weighing his spirit down, formed from his wicked deeds against his fellow man. He even warns Scrooge that he also wears such a chain.

The problem here is that Goofy Goof doesn’t have a single mean bone in his tall, lanky body. He’s a dogman that would never covet money like a miser, would never be cruel to others because he doesn’t deem them worth his time. So, why was he cast as Marley? It’s a confusing decision.

Another example lies with Mickey Mouse as Bob Crachit. Logically, I can understand the casting choice; Mickey is to Disney as Kermit is to the Muppets. Both made the same decision to cast their Big Name Character as the second lead in A Christmas Carol. However, the two portrayals go in very different directions, particularly in the Christmas Future segment. I’ll dig into this particular example in more detail in a bit, but in essence, it feels more like the Disney characters were plugged into their roles for the story, without much consideration for how their personalities would work with that of the characters they’d be portraying. The Muppets were matched with characters to portray, but it feels like careful thought was put into how each character would act and work as their Christmas Carol role.

4. The Entire “Ghost of Christmas Future” Chapter. 

I’ve referred to this part of the story, and the ways in which the Muppets and Disney handled it, several times so far, and this is because I believe that this is where the biggest differences lie, and where the Muppet adaptation truly outshines Disney’s.

First, the Spirit themselves. The Muppets created an entirely new, imposing, shadowy-cloaked Muppet specifically for this role, rather than casting a known Muppet as the Spirit. This Muppet never speaks, and has no face, and only communicates in gestures. It looms over the third act of the story, showing Ebenezer Scrooge what awaits him in this future, without words, instead letting the scenes speak for themselves. The Spirit is silent, but Scrooge understands what it’s telling him, asking questions and paraphrasing the messages he receives as the Spirit guides him through the scenes. And although the Spirit’s appearance is terrifying, that’s not the part that ultimately chills Scrooge to the core; instead, the future that awaits Scrooge (and Tiny Tim), should he continue down his path of cruelty and greed, is what prompts Scrooge to tearfully beg for forgiveness and a chance to prove that he can make things right.

Then, in Mickey’s Christmas Carol, the basic bones of the tale are there: an imposing, silent, hooded figure shows Scrooge glimpses of his possible future. But before this third act is over, the Spirit reveals its face and speaks: it’s not just a Spirit, but Pete. Nasty, mean, cigar-smoking Peg-Leg Pete. And he dumps Scrooge into his own grave to be consumed by flames until he awakens from his dream. Certainly, Scrooge has been shaken by the visions of an awful future, but he’s also been sent to hell by a mean, angry cat. Ultimately, this takes away from the big message of the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come’s chapter: that we should change because we choose to, not because we’ve been scared into it.

Second, the sharing of Tiny Tim’s fate. In both the Muppet version and in Disney’s version, the audience and Scrooge have both been told that, if things don’t change, Tiny Tim’s going to die. Now that we’re being shown the future, Scrooge needs to go and check on the Crachit family, to see if this loss has come to pass.

In the Muppet Version, Scrooge approaches the home with relieved excitement, remembering the home of his employee as the warm and happy one he’d caught a glimpse of thanks to the Spirit of Christmas Present. However, Scrooge notices the silence of the house, and instantly knows something has changed. He peeks into the window and watches as Mrs. Crachit cries as she cooks Christmas dinner. Then, he learns that indeed, Tim has passed away. We watch the grieving family convene for dinner, and talk of loss; although they try to encourage each other, it’s clear that the loss of Tim has cut them so deep, they might never truly recover.

The fact that someone can watch this entire emotional scene performed by the Muppets and, somehow, not lose any suspension of disbelief, speaks of the incredible talent involved in the making of this scene; the puppeteers, the voice actors, the editors, the filmographers. 

In comparison, the scene we get in Disney’s version is short, and stiff. What we get is a panning view of a graveyard, and a closeup of Mickey Mouse crying while holding onto Tiny Tim’s crutch, before he sets it against the boy’s gravestone. The audience watches Mickey Mouse cry over his dead son before the movie continues.

It sounds sad when said aloud, but watching it happen doesn’t carry much emotion. It just feels awkward, almost forced. It feels like the people who decided that Mickey Mouse should be Bob Crachit finally had the consequences of their actions catch up to them, and they suddenly realized what they were going to have to put the company’s mascot through… and then they had no idea how to do it. The entire scene feels haphazard and strange; it’s upsetting to watch, but not in the way it should be. Instead of being sad about Tiny Tim, I’m just bummed they made me watch Mickey Mouse cry like that.

And here’s the thing: neither of these scenes have been performed by human actors. One has been played by puppets, the other has been animated. The fact that the Muppets, who, in order to show emotion have to move their head a certain way or have the felt of their faces scrunched, do a better job performing the scene than the one that is animated, in which people could make the characters make any face they wanted, speaks volumes.

Perhaps it’s because, while Kermit will always be Kermit, and Mickey will always be Mickey, it all draws back to the fact that the Muppets are actors. Kermit has played so many other roles in other Muppet movies. But Mickey Mouse? He’s almost always Mickey Mouse. Using him in a different role is difficult when he’s never been anything other than himself.

...

I’ve spent some time trying to think how to wrap up this ridiculous essay I chose to write for fun, because while this isn’t an assignment and doesn’t require a conclusion, it also feels wrong to just end it there. I suppose I can say again, that the Muppet Christmas Carol is my very favorite Christmas movie, and I love watching it over and over again. I love it so much that I’ve literally written an essay explaining why it’s good. And it’s not like I hate Mickey’s Christmas Carol; I grew up watching that movie just as much as the Muppet one. It’s just that… the Muppet version hits different, you feel me? The story moves in a different way, treats humor differently, and even treats the audience differently. I’m by no means an expert on film, and I certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with my opinions about this movie. In the end, these are just two child-targeted adaptations of a classic Christmas tale, and I’m just an ADHD girl who got way too invested in a passing thought. The different feelings evoked in me by the two different movies about the same story fascinated me, and I decided I’d try to analyze them and share my thoughts. If you made it this far, thanks for reading!

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Some Mouse House news today. One story is true, the other *might* be true.

Today, Sean Bailey steps down as head of Walt Disney Pictures. The studio of Disney's massive film division that does all the live-action movies, and in some cases, animated tech demos that look like real-life simulations. Ya know, THE JUNGLE BOOK (2016) and THE LION KING (2019)?

He singlehandedly ushered in the whole remake craze (on top of saying some very weird and obtuse things about the animated classics they are largely based on), whilst trying to launch new franchises out of over-budgeted risky movies, and suffice to say? I'm more than happy that his replacement is Searchlight Pictures' David Greenbaum.

Greenbaum will now lead a combined Disney Live-Action/20th Century Studios effort, while Matthew Greenfield continues to lead Searchlight. This is a very smart move I feel, as Searchlight were usually quite good with budgets. They greenlit several outre and unique movies. Most recently Yorgos Lanthimos' POOR THINGS, which I loved. In the weirdest sense, and you'll probably think I've lost the plot in saying this, but... The $35m hard R-rated sci-fi black comedy with plenty of sex scenes felt more in the spirit of "Disney" - creative, game-changing, and bold - than a lot of the titanic-budgeted seemingly-noted-to-death movies released under the mainline "Disney" name in the recent years... That's quite something!

(Maybe it's just something of a shock to see a movie simply made by a FILMMAKER come out Disney. After all, when Walt Disney saw TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD in 1962, he was floored by the film and lamented... He wish his studio could make a picture like that.)

So yeah, as you can tell, I'm thrilled with this move. I feel that the output of the "Live-Action" end of Disney hasn't really been for me for a long time, creatively, and maybe Greenbaum will course-correct. Take a chance on different filmmakers, let them come in and make a really cool movie that isn't buckled under notes and mandates that attempt to make the proceedings "more Disney" - whatever that means. Less things like ARTEMIS FOWL and LION KING and this TRON-in-name-only sequel with Jared Leto, more stuff like the first PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN and assorted smaller movies. These things don't have to be $150m+ behemoths, either.

This move has been a long-time coming, I feel, especially after the film division lost money on HAUNTED MANSION and live-action LITTLE MERMAID, in addition to seeing diminishing returns elsewhere.

(And hey, on the off chance... Maybe we can see another Muppets movie get off the ground, haha.)

Sooo... As for the other piece of news...

Apparently Pixar is working on a movie called DUCKS.

And it's a full-blown musical, too... A first for Pixar...

Right now, this is all coming out of the rumor mills and I feel it should be taken with a grain of salt. Much like that soccer movie set in Barcelona that they were supposedly developing around 2018.

What's interesting is that a locked Facebook account and a locked Twitter account have been made for a "Pixar Ducks" thing. So maybe... Yeah... Maybe DUCKS is a movie in the works at Pixar. Or it's a short.

Some have pointed out that this news arrives a little after the release of Universal/Illumination's animated duck romp MIGRATION, which brings up the pairs of yore: A BUG'S LIFE and ANTZ, FINDING NEMO and SHARK TALE, RATATOUILLE and FLUSHED AWAY, the ill-fated NEWT and RIO... But really, sometimes great minds think alike. Remember how we had three animated movies about Sasquatches/yetis from September 2018 to September 2019? SMALLFOOT, MISSING LINK, and ABOMINABLE?

Sometimes it just happens...

I've also noticed people saying "Wait a minute, what about COCO? Wasn't that a musical?"

COCO, when it was coming out, was carefully described as a movie that was about music, not so much a "musical". I don't see COCO as a "musical", myself.

You see, I feel musicals inhabit a heightened reality of their own. Typically, in musical movies, when characters start singing, everything else around them is engaged. Like the whole block or the whole neighborhood or the whole area was prepared for this moment, and are going along with it. For some people, that's weird. "Why are they all singing? Imagine doing THAT in real life!" That's the point of musicals, I feel. The singing is the characters' feelings, their world, their point of view. These movies don't follow a literal reality, and that's what has always made them and their theatre counterparts so special for so many years.

COCO, by contrast, is about musicians. They pick up a guitar or instrument, and when they play music and sing, it's not of a heightened reality. Everybody else goes about their business, the whole block isn't singing- You get where I'm going with this, right? There's a clear difference between COCO and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST.

Some 30 years ago, when Pixar was working on TOY STORY... Their first ever feature film, they specifically didn't want to do a musical or something with an "I Want" song. A little list of rules, so that they wouldn't make something similar to what Disney was doing post-OLIVER & COMPANY. Many of the other animation studios were mimicking that formula as well, as evidenced by all the SWAN PRINCESS and FERGULLY types that were being released all throughout the '90s... It's understandable that Pixar and their tight-knit culture wanted to avoid that at first...

But we're in 2024 now, and Disney Animation has long balanced out musicals with non-musicals (BIG HERO 6, ZOOTOPIA, RAYA, etc.), while other studios have tried other kinds of musicals that don't try to recreate what Howard Ashman and Alan Menken perfected circa 1989. Like the SING movies, those are jukebox musicals, the TROLLS movies are more like pop musicals than they are Broadway...

So, some three decades after the release of TOY STORY (assuming that this film comes out in 2026 at the earliest), yeah! Pixar making a musical isn't so far-fetched. What this studio brings to that genre remains to be seen, but I'm interested nonetheless. They could possibly re-invent it in a very cool, fun way. I just find the title to be curious... Ducks... Talking animals... It seems very basic, but there's a lot we don't know, so I'll wait til I hear more. It could be about, say, duckpin bowling for all I know.

My other question is... Who is directing it? I know that the following filmmakers have pitched or are working on films at Pixar:

Brian Fee (director of CARS 3)

Enrico Casarosa (director of LUCA)

Domee Shi (director of TURNING RED)

Dan Scanlon (director on ONWARD and MONSTERS UNIVERSITY)

Kristen Lester (director of Sparkshort PURL)

Rosana Sullivan (director of Sparkshort KITBULL)

Aphton Corbin (director of Sparkshort TWENTY-SOMETHING)

Daniel Chong (creator of WE BEAR BEARS, storyboard artist on CARS 2 and INSIDE OUT)

Their schedule currently looks like this:

6/14/2024: INSIDE OUT 2

06/13/2025: ELIO

03/06/2026: Unknown

06/19/2026: Unknown

TBD 2026: TOY STORY 5 (likely summer)

So, logically, this could be their spring 2026 original movie while TOY STORY 5 expectedly takes the prime summer slot. Maybe! Perhaps it swaps spots with something else, I don't know.

We do have a D23 Expo coming up this year, so maybe we'll learn what Pixar's post-ELIO films are that aren't sequels. If DUCKS is real and it's moving along quite nicely, then that should be the one. We shall see...

[danepopfrippery]

There’s several things I wish Jim Henson lived to see (nvm personal stuff like his fam and friends). The big two are: internet and how beloved Muppet Xmas Carol has become.

Internet: he would’ve fuckin loved it. If u havent read his bio u should its wonderful. He loved tech and cutting thru middle men. He loved doing weird shit for any audience. That man would be like Carl Reiner/Frank Oz/Patrick Stewart all rolled into one and i imagine he’d be the first on shit like tiktok. He would have LOVED IT

Muppet Xmas Carol: by the time Jim died he was in the process of selling the muppets to Disney so he could be free for new things (man hated repetition) and he felt hed become a new walt disney god figure (he hated that) and that his work wasnt being taken srsly, like the muppets just kept being watered down to corporate kid stuff.

Muppet Xmas Carol if I remember right was his idea and he was passionate it be accurate to the book. He wanted to do something new and weird, once again showing his work wasnt just for kids. Considering this film is not only a classic but considered the best and most faithful Dickens adaption i think he would’ve been thrilled. Especially given hardcore dickens fans love it

[thefinalboss387]

Okay so I am currently watching through Black Sails for the first time and

I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOOOVE THEIR PORTRAYAL OF EDWARD “BLACKBEARD” TEACH

Gonna explain why under the cut. And also ask some questions that people who know a lot about pirates and/or are familiar with other great pirate shows/movies can hopefully answer for me!

Before I go any further, I want to preface everything by saying that I just finished season 4, episode 5 today. It’s my first time watching the show (so please don’t spoil anything beyond that episode for me), and so far I can happily say it is one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I’m SO impressed with the layers and depth of the story, how literally EVERY action has consequences (even the ones you don’t expect), etc. This show has all the political intrigue and power dynamics of Game of Thrones, without the noticeable decline that show unfortunately had. Season 4 has been AMAZING so far and I don’t expect the next half of the season to disappoint me. I’m genuinely starting to get a little sad that I’m so close to the end, because... NOW WHAT???

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE SHOW UP TO SEASON 4 EPISODE 5

My only real experience with pirate fiction or history at all before this show was really Pirates of the Caribbean and Peter Pan. Even Treasure Island I’m largely unfamiliar with - I remember watching the Muppet version as a kid, I loved Treasure Planet but admittedly haven’t seen it in decades, and I barely remember either version, but yeah. I was recently in a pirate mood after that new Peter Pan movie came out on Disney+, Googled recommendations for a good pirate show, and Black Sails was the top of that list. And BOY am I glad I gave it a shot!!!

In particular, I found myself REALLY drawn to the character of Blackbeard. He showed up pretty late in the story so obviously I have a lot of other favorites as well, but he won me over VERY quickly. I’m at a point in my watch through where Teach is now dead, and unless he keeps coming back in Miranda-style visions (doubtful), I thiiiiink I’ve seen his entire story and am at a place where I can comfortably talk about his character arc?

Honestly, my only complaint is that I wish we saw more of him. He only ultimately shows up for like maybe 10 episodes, but MAN what a presence he brought with him!! As soon as he first showed up in that cabin being confronted by his ex-wife’s angry family, I was excited. He was played by the late RAY STEVENSON!!! I’ve only seen that particular actor in one other role, but he was my favorite Dexter villain BY FAR, so I knew he’d kill the role. I’m also super excited to see him in the upcoming Ahsoka show, but that’s neither here nor there lol. I feel like Teach’s overall lack of screentime hurts his chances of landing himself in my “favorite characters of all time” list, but I need time to digest the show for a bit before I decide on things like that. Because in the limited time we DO get with him, he hits all the right buttons for me!

I know Blackbeard is a super-famous real life pirate, and that he shows up a lot in popular fiction, but the only real knowledge I have of the man is what we saw in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. His portrayal in that movie was.... fine? I didn’t dislike him, but he definitely didn’t impress me either. He was a serviceable villain in a franchise that has had way better and more effective villains.

I work with kids, I serve as a mentor figure to them, and honestly my mission is to be the adult I wished I had in my life when I was a kid. Mentor/mentee, parent/child, “found family” relationships are something I LOVE to explore in fiction. Since I also tend to love villains, a lot of my FAVORITE fictional characters of all time are villains that explore a more toxic, dark side of those mentor relationships.

What I love about this portrayal of Blackbeard, primarily, is his relationship with Charles Vane. Despite how dangerous and arguably toxic both men are, their relationship was surprisingly sweet.

Blackbeard is a SCARY dude, and he very quickly establishes himself and makes it clear that he hates how soft and docile pirate society has become in his absence, and immediately goes about building a crew of hardened badasses that violently prove their worth to him. Yet, everything about his relationship with Vane is empathetic, understanding, and gentle.

Now, obviously, Vane is one of the most hardened and badass characters in the show. It’s easy to see why someone like Blackbeard would take a liking to someone like Vane. He grows to see Vane as a son, and despite the betrayals Vane puts him through, Teach never holds it against him, never lifts a finger to harm him, and even passionately seeks to avenge his death after the fact. His absence for literally half of the show’s run is because Vane betrayed him and exiled him, and in his words, he left because he would’ve had to kill Vane if he stayed.

He reveals, privately, to his lover that he is slowly dying from shrapnel in his chest, and wants to cement a legacy for himself through Vane - a fact that he never actually TELLS Vane or anyone else because he doesn’t want to manipulate or guilt him. Everything about Teach’s motivations revolved around Vane. But even beyond that, he grows something of a mentor-y dynamic with Jack Rackham after Vane’s death, and it’s implied that he took Israel Hands under his wing before Vane. He is entirely driven by his need for a son, even if that son is not biological -- after Vane’s betrayal, he laments that only God makes sons. As someone who also really wants to be a parent, and has a lot of mentor relationships instead, I really relate to that sentiment and feel the heartbreak behind it.

I genuinely love his style. A brilliant tactician, yet so ruthless and violent in a fight. I loved that he would be sword fighting people, only to randomly pull out a gun and shoot his opponents in the face. I loved his death scene and his utter defiance right until the very end. He wasn’t looking to make a statement, or inspire a riot, he just wanted to fuck with his murderer and ruin his moment.

So, I have a question for the pirate enthusiasts out there. How accurate is this version of Teach? Did he have this tendency to take people under his wing and mentor them despite his ferocity? Are there other fictional portrayals of him out there that have that quality to him? Even in Pirates of the Caribbean, he was pretty notable for the relationship he had with Angelica, who may or may not have been his daughter, but how genuine and caring that relationship was is left pretty ambiguous from both sides.

Either way, Black Sails is really sparking my interest in pirates in general! I recently purchased Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag on Steam, and plan to play that very soon. I went and downloaded the shows Crossbones and Our Flag Means Death, but haven’t started watching them yet. I downloaded the anime One Piece, but am unsure when/if I want to watch it because holy crap it’s a huge commitment haha. It also occurs to me that I should probably read/watch Treasure Island, but I am fully aware that the pirate characters are two-dimensional villains without any of the complexity or nuance of Black Sails, so that’s disappointing. I know almost nothing about any of those above shows/anime/movies/games though so I’m in for a ride!!

But, my pirate enthusiast friends, another question: Any other great pirate media out there I should go consume?? I already know I’m going to miss this show when it’s over so I’m already starting to look for the next thing to watch to keep myself busy!

[ariel-seagull-wings]

COMFORT MOVIE CHALLENGE: MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND

@thealmightyemprex​ @goodanswerfoxmonster​ @angelixgutz​ @moonbeamelf​ @world-of-puppets​ @princesssarisa​ @softlytowardthesun​ @the-blue-fairie​ @themousefromfantasyland​ @amalthea9​ 

Released in 1996, his is the second Muppet feature film directed by Brian Henson, based on a classic work of literature and released in partnership with the Walt Disney Company (before the aquisition of the Muppet franchise by Disney was really officialized in the early 2000s), after 1992′s The Muppet Christmas Carol.

This time adapting the famous children’s pirate adventure novel by Robert Louis Stevenson, they cast the human actors Kevin Bishop as Jim Hopkins, Tim Curry as Long John Silver, Billy Connoly as Billy Bones, and Jennifer Saunders as tavern owner Mrs. Bluveridge, while the Muppet actors are Kermit the Frog as ship Captain Smollet, Miss Piggy as Smollet’s fiancee Benjamina Gunn, Sam the Eagle as Mr Arrow, Fozzie Bear as Squire Trelawney and the duo of Gonzo and Rizzo as eighteen century versions of themselves.

Meant as an energetic adventure and musical comedy movie for the whole family, the film is quick to extablish the characters of Jim Hopkins, Gonzo and Rizzo as three on their luck tavern workers.

Rizzo is sardonic and prefers a life of comfort, safety and plenty of food, while Jim (who here is portrayed as a young orphan of both parents) and Gonzo dream of excitement travelling trough the seas.

One of the clients of the tavern, former pirate Billy Bones, dies, leaving the map to find the treasure of Pirate Captain Flint to Jim, while pirates burn the tavern down.

So the trio goes to ask the rich Squire Trelawney a ship to search for the buried treasure. Squire Trelawney, a person of unconventional mind that confindes in an imaginary friend who lives in his finger, called Mr Bimbo, is excited with the idea, and presents to them the ship called Hispaniola, that shall be comanded by Captain Smollet and his right hand man Mr Arrow.

Among the crew that Squire Trelawney hires for the travel, Jim, Gonzo and Rizzo meet the ship cook Long John Silver, a charismatic man with a dark sense of humour, who becomes a close friend of Jim.

The young boy, naive and longing for a father figure, becomes trusty of Long John, while Gonzo and Rizzo, neglected by Jim, feel something is off with the cook, because before dying Billy Bones had warned them to beware of a one legged man, a description that fits Long John, who has only one leg and walks with a cane.

Jim is the normal every person who acts and is a surrogate for the audience, that gets emerged in the colorfull world of the port, the ship and the island.

You get a nice balance of chaotic meta humour of the 70s version of the Muppets with dramatic acting and character focus that would become strong in the 90s.

While the main cast of characters is firm in being their roles and invested in their emotional conflicts, you get little fourt wall breaking jokes like rat tourists visiting the location in modern atire right while the movie is being made, Statler and Waldorf as two wood ship figureheads who makes about the movie and a small cameo of the Swedish Chef dressed as a parody of an island native preparing to cook the imprisoned Rizzo, Gonzo and Smollet while the vegetables say to the audience “Well, how did you expected we would put him in the movie?”

And being a Muppet movie musical, you can expect well elaborated numbers presentings fun, beautifull, catchy songs the somber opening villain song“Shiver my Timbers”, the I Want song “Something There”, the epic “Sailing for Adventure”, the hilariously random “Cabin Fever”, the intimidating “Boom Shakalaka”, the romantic ballad “Love Led Us Here” and the dancing relaxing reggae “Lover Power”, courtesy of none other than Bob Marley’s son Ziggy Marley.

This colorfull, age of sail musical fantasy with Muppets gives a strong atmosphere that reminds of the joy of summer. 

There is an entertaining combination of character drama, action, a touch of a horror atmosphere, romance and the goold old comedy that only the Muppets can, and it now enters in the list of my favorite movies, that is probably the best pirate movie ever made.

[anonymous-dentist]

Part two of a series of oneshots set in @discduo ‘s mall au! I heavily recommend reading part one first. (Linked here)

-

Okay so, first off, Quackity is not moping. He is not. That would be ridiculous, and also stupid, to assume. Quackity does not mope. He sure can sulk, but he doesn’t mope, and he definitely doesn’t mope over some dumbfuck from the Disney Store. 

“You’re an idiot,” George astutely says, hitting the nail right on the head for once in his miserable life. 

George is not at work. George is, in fact, skipping work to hang out with Quackity. That means that he’s at the Spencers leaning against the wall of shelves sipping on some Starbucks abomination with a metal straw while Quackity works. He’s wearing his sunglasses today, the really nice pair that his sugar daddy, Dream’s weirdo cousin, got for him for their five-month anniversary the other month. (George forgot the anniversary entirely until Sapnap reminded him, because Sapnap is just such a nice person. He’s just so wonderful.) 

Quackity dutifully ignores him, instead focusing on doing his goddamn job. Unlike half of the people in this mall, he actually works. He does his job, and he sometimes even likes it. It’s easy to ignore your problems when you can just rot your brain by listening to shitty metal music and stock t-shirts plastered with Joe Biden’s face. 

George slurps at his coffee as annoyingly as humanly possible. “He won’t stop talking about you, you know.”

“Who, Dream?” Quackity asks, only halfway caring. He sure hopes it isn’t Dream; every time Dream wants to talk to him, the cops end up getting called. 

“No, Sapnap. He thinks you’re mad at him.”

“Why would I be mad at Sapnap for following his dick to work at the Disney Store instead of here like we agreed upon and leaving me behind just because some- some- some guy with nice hair pitied him?” Quackity lightly asks. His chest hurts. 

He grips the shirt in his hands so hard that it wrinkles. Fuck you, Joe Biden, stupid white piece of shit. Hey, Joe Biden, what’s your policy on heartbreak and megacorporations? You gonna solve this crisis? 

“So you are mad at him,” George surmises. 

“No. I’m not. Why would I be mad at him? I’m glad that he got a new job, really. It’s a lot quieter without him showing up and pissing me off.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Get new insults, dude. Your shitty old man brain is melting.”

“Oh my God, shut up,” George groans, throwing his head back dramatically. “Just listen to me, God. He’s moping, Quackity, you have to fix him.”

“God, who cares?” Quackity snaps, maybe harsher than intended. Maybe. “I sure fucking don’t. He’s your friend, not mine. You…” He waggles his hand in George’s general direction. “You fix him. I don’t care.”

Because maybe Sapnap hasn’t come by for lunch since getting hired at that fucking Disney Store three months ago. Maybe Quackity hasn’t even seen him in three months. It’s almost like that Karl guy upstairs is keeping him captive. Maybe Sapnap has actually been locked inside of the fucking- the puppet theater, or whatever the fuck. He looks enough like a Muppet. So does Karl Jacobs. They’re practically meant for each other. World’s best assistant manager and world’s best Sapnap, prisoners and wardens of The Mouse. 

They deserve each other. Disney is all about happiness and sunshine and whatever. How could Quackity compare with his weird emo store and his lackluster insurance benefits? 

“Riiiiight,” George drawls. He swishes his coffee around judgmentally. “Well, you’re going to fix it. I don’t know what you did-”

“What I did?” Quackity asks. “I’m not the one that ghosted his lunch buddy out of fucking nowhere just because some pretty boy waggled a job interview at me. I’ve been stuck eating lunch with Wilbur. Wilbur.”

Wilbur isn’t the worst to eat lunch with, mostly because he and Quackity can both bond over annoying Tubbo at work, but he’s still Wilbur. Either he’s waxing poetic about his marine biologist girlfriend, or he’s waxing poetic about his dad, or he’s talking about how he wants to punt Dream into the sun (he and Quackity can both agree on that last part.) 

But. But he’s no Sapnap. You don’t miss what you didn’t realize you had until it’s gone, Quackity supposes. All he can do is move on and try and find someone else to buy him milkshakes. Maybe they’ll actually get the flavors right. 

“Whatever,” George sighs. “When’s your break? I heard from Puffy that the Panda Express is giving out free samples around noon to the first people in line. I bet we could steal the whole lot before the public even gets to them.”

Quackity checks his watch. 11:50. 

“Now,” he decides. Fuck it, he’s the manager, he can say when his own breaks are. Who’s gonna stop him, Schlatt? Fucker’s dead! “Foolish! You’re in charge!”

He hears a vague “Yeah, ‘kay!” from The Back, but he doesn’t really register it. He’s too busy shoving the rest of the Biden shirts onto the shelves so he can get the fuck out of there and get some fresh air. You can only be in a Spencer’s for so long without reverting back to your emo phase. 

-

Tubbo’s working at the Burger King today. He sees Quackity and George and waves, looking utterly dead inside in the best way possible. 

Quackity waves back much more cheerfully. He even blows a kiss, which makes Tubbo’s entire body shudder in repulsion. One of the kids in line to order notices and laughs, making Tubbo shudder again, this time in embarrassment. 

Quackity makes a mental note of which child to drop a free sample on. Not that he would willingly drop a plastic cup full of steaming-lukewarm rice onto a child, because that would be ridiculous. He would never. George would, though, and he would even kick a kid if it looked at him the wrong way. 

There’s something in the air, Quackity thinks as he and George weave their ways through the crowd and to the Panda Express. It’s either salmonella, or it’s… 

“George!” 

Quackity’s face falls. It’s either salmonella, or it’s regret. It’s always one of the two with him. Half of the dinners Schlatt made him were uncooked, some kind of health food trend that he was trying because he saw it online. The other half were burned beyond all recognition, a pretty good metaphor for how their relationship was going at the time. 

George stops and sends Quackity a smug little side eye before turning around and waving over a cheerful-looking Sapnap. 

Sapnap looks… how to put it? He looks happy. His hair is pulled back and it’s shiny, his nails are painted, and his dimples are on full display. Quackity should stop looking at his face and should try and get the fuck away before he does something he might regret, like try and talk to him. 

Sapnap alone is bad enough, but he’s accompanied by the living embodiment of sunshine and fucking lollipops. They’re standing awfully close together. Suspiciously close, even. Bad vibes. 

Sapnap comes over. Quackity backs up and slips back into the crowd, more than happy for his relatively small size for the first time in his life. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” he hears Sapnap ask, like the idiot he is. Everybody knows that George doesn’t actually do his job. Why would he when he’s dating the guy that basically owns the mall? 

By the time that Quackity makes it to the Panda Express, he’s left George, Sapnap, and Sapnap’s annoying boss behind. 

Also by the time that Quackity makes it to the Panda Express, Tubbo has somehow managed to escape the Burger King and is standing by a small table wearing the Panda Express uniform holding a tray covered in samples. At least George wasn’t lying about the samples.

Quackity takes one with a fond eye roll. 

“What’s this supposed to be?” he asks. 

He doesn’t even bother with getting a fork as he picks the rice up with his fingers and shoves it into his mouth. It’s perfectly alright. Not bad, but not good, either. That’s mall food, for you.

Tubbo shrugs. “Dunno. I just work here, man, d’you think I actually know what we serve?”

“I thought you were working at the Subway today.”

“Nah, Susan called out sick earlier at the Burger King, right, and I stepped up to take her place because I’m an upstanding gentleman.”

Quackity snorts. Tubbo, ever-professional, tips the tray so that a couple of samples fall off and onto Quackity’s boots. He doesn’t bat an eye as Quackity swears and skitters backwards with all the grace of a limping spider. 

“But then,” Tubbo continues, mindlessly adjusting the samples still on the tray. “Right, see, but then Terrance over here called out-”

“Not Terrance,” Quackity gasps. 

Tubbo nods solemnly. “Yes, I’m afraid so. So I’m here handing out free samples while Lisa tries to find a replacement.” “So what’s going on at the Burger King?” 

“Well, technically I’m still on the clock over there, but I figured they could wait. Anyone who actually wants Burger King is a braver and more patient man than I.”

“True!” Quackity agrees. Despite his better judgment, he takes another sample and shovels that one into his mouth as well. Sue him, he’s hungry. He still isn’t quite used to taking care of his own lunches yet. 

“Besides, I figured you would need emotional support.” Tubbo gets up on his toes to look out over the crowd. Quackity turns around and follows his gaze. He can’t quite see over everybody, but he does make eye contact with some old guy throwing away his Auntie Anne’s containers on the other side of the court. “Y’know, it wasn’t supposed to be a free sample day. Technically, that’s against mall policy to avoid stampedes ‘n stuff. George just got his freaky boyfriend to sign off on it, and I figured that was sus as hell.”

“Please don’t say sus again,” Quackity says. 

“Sus.”

“You’re grounded,” Quackity says, fully knowing that that threat never works on Tubbo. He turns back around and gives his brother a Look. “But thanks, anyway.”

Tubbo shrugs. “Consider it repayment for dealing with Dream the other week.”

Quackity winces. “Yeah, ‘kay.”

That was fun. Dream, a security guard in training, has this fun habit of using his cousin’s mall as his personal playground. He’s either bothering George or Sapnap at work, or he’s trying to bust Tommy for working underage ‘cause he’s a freak. A couple of weeks ago and bored out of his mind, he had tried getting Quackity to sell Tommy out, and Tubbo had swooped in with some story about a shoplifter at the Lids on the other side of the mall. What a hero. 

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking-” Tubbo starts, probably about to start on some stupid little endearing little tangent. 

And then there’s an interruption from over Quackity’s shoulder, a dreadfully-familiar voice gleefully exclaiming, “Oh, shoot, free samples!”

Quackity lets out a long, drawn-out sigh as Sapnap slides into place next to him (where he belongs) and yoinks a sample cup off of the tray. 

Tubbo shoots Quackity a sympathetic look. They may not spend as much time together as they used to, but they still live together most days out of the week. Tubbo has seen more than his fair share of Quackity sulking, not moping, sulking on the couch over being ignored yet again by the man he didn’t even know he liked. 

Quackity inches away, fully intending on bolting like an idiot, but then Sapnap, with a mouth full of rice, glances over at him and freezes like a deer in the headlights. Mid-chew, he stands there like a statue staring at Quackity like Quackity is a ghost. Quackity, much to his own embarrassment, probably looks much the same way. 

Sapnap swallows and says, “Uh. Hi?”

“Yeah, hi,” Quackity flatly responds. He turns back to Tubbo. “Am I driving you home today?”

“Quackity,” says Sapnap. 

Tubbo seems to think on the matter. “I think Ranboo said that he wanted to go out for dinner.”

“Fuck Ranboo,” Quackity scowls. He sighs, “Am I driving the both of you, then?”

“Quackity,” says Sapnap, slightly more insistent. 

Tubbo nods eagerly, a bright smile on his stupid little face. “Yes, please! I’ll make him pay gas money.”

Oh, thank God. Ranboo is loaded, much to Tubbo’s indiscrete enjoyment. It makes Quackity wonder why he’s working in a mall if he can afford an entire house at, what, eighteen? But who knows? There are already so many weird people working at this mall, what’s one more? 

“Quackity,” says Sapnap. 

“I’m going to head back to work,” Quackity says. “Text me when you’re done.”

“Quackity!”

“Fucking- what!?” Quackity snaps, turning his full attention to the annoyed man next to him. 

Sapnap’s mouth flaps for a full second before slamming shut. He takes a moment to compose himself, then says, with a small, bashful smile, “Hi.”

God, why is he so endearing? He used to be annoying! Quackity used to be annoyed by him! Why did it take him leaving for Quackity to get attached? 

“What,” Quackity says. He doesn’t ask, no, because he doesn’t care. He doesn’t. 

“I just… are you okay?” Sapnap asks. He frowns, genuinely looking concerned, how dare he. “You look kinda rough, dude.”

“I’m fine,” Quackity monotones. “How’s the Disney Store?”

He really doesn’t care. He doesn’t! It’s just making polite conversation, that’s it. He definitely hasn’t missed talking to Sapnap. At all. And he definitely didn’t spend the first two weeks after Sapnap’s ghosting daydreaming of getting a chance to talk to him again. 

Dense as ever, Sapnap’s frown flips back around easily. “It’s great! I didn’t think I’d like working with kids this much, but it’s honestly really rewarding, y’know? Like they’re annoying little shits, but they’re sweet.”

“Cool.”

“And I know we were kinda worried about Disney bringing in a whole bunch of Karens and shit around, but it hasn’t been that bad. I actually had some punk girls come in the other day and ask if we had any Stitches.”

“Cool.”

God, Quackity can just about see the gross pink glow surrounding Sapnap. It’s like he’s a different person entirely. Well. It isn’t. He’s the exact same, actually, but it’s the vibes, man, the vibes are off. This isn’t Sapnap. It’s some kind of Sapnap clone. It’d make sense. The real Sapnap wouldn’t abandon Quackity to work in the fucking Disney Store. 

“Karl’s nice, too,” Sapnap continues, not even noticing Quackity’s increasing displeasure and annoyance. “He’s… very nice.”

And now Sapnap is blushing. Great. Quackity wants to kick a child, now. (As if sensing this, Tubbo shuffles away.) 

“Wonderful,” Quackity sarcastically says. “I’m glad you’re happy, really. Now, if you’ll excuse me-”

He tries to duck out of the conversation, planning on heading back to work to sulk in the supply closet until his actual lunch break starts, but he’s stopped by a broad hand weakly grabbing his shoulder. Holding his shoulder, more like, because Sapnap knows not to actually touch him too suddenly. 

“Hey, no, where’re you going?” Sapnap asks, almost sounding hurt. The nerve. “I haven’t seen you in months! Let’s get lunch or something, on me.”

Quackity lets out a slow breath. He is calm. 

“No,” he calmly says. “I’m good. I’m not hungry.”

“Yeah, I saw how empty that try was. But c’mon, dude, I missed you.”

That’s it. 

“You missed me?” Quackity laughs. He looks Sapnap in the eyes and repeats, “You missed me? I haven’t seen you in months! What, just ‘cause you’re a Disney guy now means you can’t come and talk to me?”

Oh, and now Sapnap’s frowning again, great. “What?”

“I have been waiting for you to come and see me every goddamn day since you got hired,” Quackity growls. “Every. Day. Where were you?”

Something flashes in Sapnap’s eyes, but Quackity can’t tell what. He doesn't know if he wants to.

“But you’re always gone when I show up,” Sapnap says, like a goddamn liar. Why does he sound so upset? “I know when your lunch breaks are. That’s why I was so surprised to see you here now. Dude, you aren’t there.”

“Yes! I am! I am always there! I have my lunches in the goddamn hallway half the time! But I never see you,” Quackity spits. “Actually, fuck this. Fuck this, actually, goodbye.”

His therapist always tells him to step away from a situation if it’s stressing him out. If he’s paying her 500 bucks a session, she’d better be right. 

He easily pulls himself out of Sapnap’s grasp and storms off, not listening as Sapnap calls after him. What was George thinking? Bastard. They’re all bastards, all of them. Fuck having friends, actually, all they do is disappoint you. 

Quackity bumps into someone by the Burger King and almost apologizes before realizing who it is. 

“Whoah, dude, sorry,” Karl apologizes, looking as apologetic as a real life villain can. Because of course it’s him, because God hates Quackity and wishes him harm. 

To avoid causing a scene, all Quackity does is flip him off. His therapist would be very proud of him. 

But then Quackity very calmly says, “I’m gonna sneak so many dildos into your store that you get shut down, and there is nothing that you can do to stop me.”

Karl blinks at him, mouth curled into a neat ‘O’ shape. He’s seemingly shocked into silence. Good. 

And with that, Quackity continues his escape, and he continues his escape until he’s pushing Foolish away from the register so he can duck beneath it and break open one of the emergency packs of chewing gum. Stress relief. 

“That bad, huh?” Foolish asks, lovely, lovely Foolish. 

“From this point forward, Sapnap is banned,” Quackity says. “If you see him, get him out. If I have to see him, somebody’s getting fired.” 

He sniffs and scrubs at his stinging eyes. His chest hurts so fucking bad, and it’s not from the Panda Express. 

“Uuuuh, okay? What about his boss? The weird one?” Foolish asks, not even questioning it. Lovely, lovely Foolish. 

“Don’t bother,” Quackity sighs. “He won’t come down here, anyway. He wouldn’t dare.”

It’s painful, Quackity has slowly begun to realize over the past few months, being in love. It’s even more painful when you’re too slow to act on it.

[nkatr84]

The Muppets:Mayhem Review

Spoiler warning!!!

Still here? Okay here we go!

I’m going to say what a lot of people are saying. Because it’s true. This is one of the best things Disney has done with the Muppets in years. I think Disney has been struggling to figure out what magic Jim Henson had to make the Muppets more than puppets. Specifically how to make them work as an ensemble where everyone gets a chance to shine. This show is a step in the right direction. A big freaking step.

The show is really about Nora, a young aspiring record executive who doesn’t have her life figured out yet. Since she had to raise her baby sister after her Dad died, her life got put on the back burner so she got a late start. And the only job she can find is at the defunct record label Wax Records.

Her boss Penny (a new Muppet that winds up being pretty funny) says she’s going to shut down the company and has Nora start shredding old paperwork. Only Nora discovers that Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem have a contract there to produce an album. Which they’ve never done despite 50 years of touring! (Have they really never produced an album? Did Jim actually never think of that? Eh I’ve ordered my copy of the vinyl already)

So Nora convinces the band to produce an album (or pay back the advance which Zoot misplaced) and the show becomes a journey of Nora helping the band make music history.

One of the best things about the show is it adds lore to the Electric Mayhem that actually humanizes them. Like we find out Dr.Teeth has a disapproving family that want him to take over the family dental practice (he’s an actual Doctor?!) Janice has a long lost twin sister, Animal identifies with Nora since he was abandoned as a baby! Zoot takes pictures all the time to help him remember things (eventually…and his full name is Zootowski!?) Lips apparently knows everyone in the music industry (and has the answer for world peace) Floyd is a perfectionist who got kicked out of West Point…it’s just all so good!

Another good thing is they introduce this character named JJ and you think he’s going to be the standard Muppet villain trying to sabotage the band so he can buy the record company. But the twist is…he’s not. He has opinions about the band being outdated, but he genuinely tries to help Nora succeed. And they also subvert the trope of the antagonist fighting over the female lead with the real romantic interest who is Moog, talented music producer and Mayhem super fan. Simply by Nora and JJ deciding to be friends and Moog and Nora don’t get together at the end. That’s very refreshing. Now if this show gets a second season they better not make their whole relationship a will they or won’t they thing.

Speaking of, we need a second season! There’s a lot they haven’t dealt with like Janice’s sister or where Animal came from and they definitely leave it open ended so that we can get more rock! More roll! More Mayhem!

Most of all it’s just a show full of heart that will just make you smile. It’s so wholesome! It’s not a laugh out loud comedy but the Muppets never were. There are celebrity cameos and tons of creativity and lots of great music. Both covers of classic songs and new music too!

So watch it now on Disney +! Get it trending so they can see we want more! Can you picture that!

[quietwingsinthesky]

👀 muppets theories?

So, I put this together after watching the second Muppets reboot movie, Muppets Most Wanted, a few years back. Something was bugging me about it, so naturally I rewatched it a few dozen or so times trying to figure out what that was, as well as revisiting the first Muppets reboot movie. None of the others, which you'll understand the importance of in a few moments. This is "The Walter Theory", and my problem? Is this Muppet.

Take a good long look at his face. Memorize it like you'll have to place it at a line-up later. Not that he'll ever face justice for his crimes.

This is Walter Blagojevich, also known as simply "Walter".

"Walter", if that is his real name, is the main character of the first Muppets movie after their post-Disney acquirement reboot. He's the emotional core of the first movie, you could say, with it all revolving around him and his need to find where he fits in life and sorting out his conflict with his brother "Gary" who is not a Muppet. Gary is a human. Gary is played by Jason Segal.

Here is a picture of Walter and his "brother".

Now why is this important? Well, you see, after the end of the first Muppets movie, when they've defeated the billionaire oil baron who just bought the Muppets in the movie's universe, it's revealed that everything we just saw? Was fake. A fabrication. A movie.

There was no billionaire oil baron plotting to destroy Muppets studios. The Muppets never broke up but were possibly on some sort of hiatus. And most importantly. Gary? Gary's not real. Gary is Jason Segal. Jason Segal is not Walter's brother. He's never been Walter's brother.

Walter does have a brother, but we'll get to that detail in a moment.

The entire first Muppets movie was a lie, and so we are meant to assume, of course, that the second Muppets movie takes place in reality. Let's take this for granted. If this is true, then why is Walter still there? The reason Walter is there in the first movie is to get the Muppets back together due to his obsession with them. They were the only thing that made him feel normal as a child. (This goes into a separate discussion about how Muppets don't have the same rights as humans in this universe, but we don't have time for that right now.)

That's his backstory in the first movie. The movie where he has a brother. A brother who does not exist. A brother who is Jason Segal.

Why is Walter still here if his past is a lie? And it gets stranger.

Despite being the main character of the first Muppets movie, he has barely any lines in Muppets Most Wanted. He basically contributes nothing to the overall plot. He doesn't have any callbacks to his original struggle or to his lie of a backstory. The most he does is recognize when Kermit is replaced by an evil Russian frog named Constantine who looks exactly like him, unlike all the other Muppets, who have known Kermit for years and are fooled by this clever disguise, Walter knows immediately that something's wrong. But how????

He doesn't know Kermit. At most, they met each other when the first movie was made and have known each other for a year or two on set. He and Kermit are not friends, they're coworkers, so that was my problem basically. What the fuck is this little Muppet man doing in this movie where he so obviously doesn't belong?????

My initial theory was that Walter wasn't real.

Or, more accurately, that Walter was created on the set of the first movie, was played by a fellow Muppet that Kermit knew, and when Walter's Muppet actor left like Jason Segal and Amy Adams did after the first movie was released, Kermit created an imaginary version of Walter in his head. This would explain why Walter doesn't seem to interact with anyone throughout the first half of Muppets Most Wanted except for Kermit the Frog. He's Kermit's imaginary friend there to help him through the stress he's under as he tries to get the Muppets back into the eye of popular culture. This would also explain him knowing immediately that Constantine isn't Kermit, because Constantine wouldn't interact with him like Kermit does.

Unfortunately, upon my sixth viewing of the movie, i knew that this theory had too many holes in it to be useful. It is Walter who incites Fozzie Bear to action to save Kermit from the gulag, and an imaginary friend could do no such thing. (Unless we extended the theory to the idea that every scene with the Muppets where Kermit isn't there is an extended imaginary sequence of what he thinks his friends are up to once he's been replaced. This might explain some of the more fantastical elements the movie gains after Kermit is trapped in the gulag, but I don't think there's enough evidence of Kermit's deteriorating mental state to make this assumption.)

So, my second theory, and one I think might be even more insidious than the first. I think that Walter, under the Disney Corporation, owns the Muppets. This sounds crazy, I know, but hear me out. It'll all make sense once you have the evidence.

1. After the financial failure of Muppets Most Wanted, no third movie was planned. As a result, Walter vanished from the cast of the Muppets for a while in their new rebooted TV show. He makes a brief appearance in the pilot, but never appears again. His next Muppets related appearance isn't interacting with any of the other Muppets. It's in the 4th episode of Muppet Thought of the Week. Link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecjtYBjkro8.

2. In this appearance, contrary to his appearance in either movie, Walter is wearing a suit. He will be wearing a suit in most other appearances from now on. He will also be keeping his interactions with other Muppets to a minimum. What he does in this video is very telling for what he will continue to do in the future: he advertises his newly acquired Muppet empire, trying to play himself off as 'just another fan'.

3. From this and another fact from an PBS interview with Walter released in 2012, we can make the hesitant assumption that Walter's backstory is not completely lies. He does have a brother (possibly more than one) but this brother is not "Gary" or Jason Segal. Jason Segal is just his cousin. (That's right, not only does this story contain corporate meddling for a fan's power trip, but NEPOTISM!)

4. Now, if you'll head over to Walter's official Facebook page with me for a minute, you'll notice that there's very few posts interacting with his fellow Muppets, especially in recent times. At most, he mentions having to "pay a fee" to be friends with Miss Piggy. What is on his facebook page, you ask? Ads. Ads for every Muppets show available on Disney+. Ads that Walter continues to market as 'just news from a fellow Muppets fan!' We're onto you, Walter. You can't fool us.

Conclusion: What can we put together from these facts?

Walter is the new owner of the Muppets. He controls what they do and where they go. This is why, in Muppets Most Wanted, despite Kermit's protests, they go on tour in Europe when Walter says that they should. This is why he is constantly pushing for the Muppets brand to grow. This is why he now makes every appearance in a suit and tie, revealing his true TV executive colors. This is why he has to pay Miss Piggy to 'be friends' with her, because she's a professional actress who would want nothing to do with him otherwise. This is why the entire first movie revolves around Walter and his obsession with the Muppets and him joining them. It's a producer's self-insert of the lowest kind. And of course, the nepotism of getting Jason Segal, his cousin, involved in the filming.

And this is why he appears, but has little to no impact, in the second movie. Because he is the owner of the Muppets. And if he wants to be a part of the Muppets, then no one can stop him. He can make however many cameos he wants, and no matter how much Kermit may fight him to keep the integrity of the group alive, Walter will never bow to him.

Walter made the first movie to throw people off his trail, to present a man so obviously evil buying the Muppets that no one would ever pick up on him doing it.

Walter Blagojevich has destroyed the sanctity of the Muppets, and there is nothing anyone can do to stop him.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[littleperilstories]

Chapter Titles in The Prince of Thieves

Not an update, not a chapter or anything, just a list of the chapter titles in The Prince of Thieves and where the idea for each one came from, if it has a specific source. That's it, that's the post. If you want the actual masterlist, it's here.

(Oh, and if there's no source next to one of the titles but you know it's from something, it's because I either don't know it or I simply didn't realize I had heard/seen it somewhere. Feel free to politely let me know. 😊 Also, please know I don't mean to imply that these are the only sources of some of these expressions. There is a LOT of media, particularly music, that I don't know! This post is just about where *I* found the inspiration for the chapter titles.)

Will update as I add more chapters!

Not sure if it's super obvious, but the overall title is a reference to the legend/folk tale of Robin Hood.

The Boy in the Snow

Oh, What Fun We’ll Have Together, You and I

Your Story Will End in Ruin

Promise Me I Can Trust You

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream (Hamlet by William Shakespeare)

Take a Breath Before You Leap

Overdue for Trouble After Midnight ("Trouble" by The Workday Release)

Don’t Leave Me Alone in this Nightmare

When Beggars Die, There Are No Comets Seen (Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare)

 Did You Really Think You Could Take the Easy Way Out?

 What Prowls in the Dead of Night

 You Can’t Save Me From the Man I’ve Become (adapted lyric from "Shape of My Heart" by the Backstreet Boys — you can save me from the man that I've become)

When I Look in Your Eyes, There's a Darkness I Don't Want to Know (inspired by a lyric from "Never Be What You Want" by We Are In the Crowd — the look in your eyes says things I don't want to know)

The Girl In the Snow

For Every Action, There is An Equal and Opposite Reaction (Newton's Third Law of Motion)

My Heart Breaks For You

The Light in the Storm

A Cruel Twist of Fate Has Brought Us Together Again

I'm Nobody, Who Are You? ("I'm Nobody! Who are you?" by Emily Dickinson)

If It's Not Right, You Have to Put It Right ("Naughty" from Matilda: The Musical)

How Tedious It Is to Be Surrounded by Fools

A House is Not a Home

Everyone Knows I'm In Over My Head ("Over My Head" by The Fray)

When You Play With Fire, Someone's Bound to Get Burned

Cross My Heart, Hope Not to Die

How Could You Do This to Me?

Hope Is the Thing With Feathers ("'Hope' is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson)

Nothing But a Foolish Child

Believe You Me, You Are Not Alone ("Walls" by The Rocket Summer)

All I Know Is a Simple Name, and Everything Has Changed ("Everything Has Changed" by Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran)

The Diamond in the Rough (common expression but also a thematic idea in Disney's Aladdin)

Those Who Falter and Those Who Fall ("Stars" from Les Miserables)

Devil Take the Hindmost ("Devil Take the Hindmost" from Love Never Dies; maybe it's also a common expression? I'm not sure)

I'll Settle for the Ghost of You ("Ghost" by Justin Bieber)

Life Is Made Up of Meetings and Partings (apparently this comes from The Muppet Christmas Carol, but I swear I heard it in an audio drama of Oliver Twist)

Do I Stay or Do I Dare? (adapted lyric from "One Day More" from Les Miserables — do I stay and do I dare?)

A Grievous Waste of Time

Bent But Never Broken

What I've Been Waiting For

This Kind of Life

I'm Not Lost, This Fate Was Mine to Choose ("Nothing Left to Lose" from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure)

I'll Be Seeing You

Please Hold On, It's All Right ("Belle of the Boulevard" by Dashboard Confessional)

I Never Thought We'd Be Here Again

Every Man Must Choose His Way ("The Confrontation" from Les Miserables)

I Think I Need a Sunrise, I'm Tired of the Sunset ("Boston" by Augusta)

Are You the Invention of a Delirious Dream? (adapted lyric from "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?" from Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella - are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream?)

They Left You Wondering Just Who the Hell You Are ("Box in a Heart" by The Maine ft. renforshort)

Connected Far Beyond a Miracle ("Interstellar Hearts" by Awake or Sleeping)

Part 1: The Inn / Part 2: The Woods / Part 3: The Window