#done a real number on my self esteem

[strawbnetwork]

really neglecting this blog to talk abt my homicidal urges towards people who are two months or less older than me on my privtwt instead goddamn 💔

[flowersandbigteeth]

Your wolf king husband defends your honor

General Plot: A visiting king and his son start trouble with Joel and Sterling

Wolf King (Sterling) x female bunny reader

Word Count: 2.5k

💕 SFW MASTERPOST 💕

W: sfw werewolf fluff, some fighting

“I’m going to grind you into mush!” Joel shouted and your attention flickered from the servant holding china patterns for you to choose across the garden where he should have been playing. 

“Joel! Get off of him!” you howled as you rushed across the lawn in your fluffy dress. You hurriedly tried to peel your newly adopted son off of the lion cub he was pummeling. Hearing your voice he threw another solid punch into the cub’s nose before standing in front of you defensively, growling and frothing at the mouth. 

“She’s not a real queen!” the lion cub, who happened to be the son of a visiting King pouted, smearing the blood that was running down his nose across his face. Joel had done a number on the slightly larger cub, leaving him with a big black eye in addition to the bloody nose. 

“I’m telling my father! We’ll- we’ll go to war with you and then I’ll eat her for dinner!” he cried as he ran away. 

You sighed watching the little prince go before turning your attention to Joel. 

“Baby, what’s going on?” you asked, turning his face to you to examine the little scratches the cub had given him trying to fight back. 

“He said you’re not my momma and that a herbivore can’t even be Queen, but he’s wrong. You are Queen and you are my momma!” 

You sighed, pulling him into your skirt and giving him a hug before reprimanding him. 

“While I agree with you,” you stated, “being a Prince means you have to use your words not your fists. You can’t start a whole war over me!”

He pouted up at you. 

“Yes I CAN!” he snapped back at you. 

You frowned and he at least looked a little contrite. 

“Do not raise your voice at me Joel,” you said firmly. 

He pouted but nodded. 

“Now let’s get you to the doctor to look after your cuts,” you said, taking his hand and leading him out of the castle garden. 

“He doesn’t know anything,” Joel said to you, squeezing your hand as you made your way through the castle, “he’s just a stupid lion. If he starts a war with me, I’m starting a war with him and MY daddy will win!” 

“There will be no wars,” you assured him, carefully hiding your smile. It was sweet that he was so protective of you. He’d declared himself your hero and went all around the castle correcting anyone who dared disrespect you. 

“We still have to have dinner with King Harold and his son this evening. It’s your duty as a prince to receive your guests with kindness and grace.” 

“But he disrespected you!” he argued. 

“Lots of people disrespect me, but I don’t go around punching every one of them in the nose!” you replied. 

He laughed. 

“Of course not! You’re a bunny! That’s my job! I’m a strong wolf. I will protect you.”

You wouldn’t lower his self esteem telling him he wasn’t quite a strong wolf, yet. 

“Sometimes we can protect people with words,” you explained, “you don’t have to fight everyone.” 

Joel bit his lip and you hoped he’d heard what you were trying to teach him as you showed the doctor the cuts and bruises he’d gathered. 

“How dare you?!” a high pitched voice echoed in the doctor’s office and a very angry looking lion Queen came barging in holding the lion prince in her arms as if he were just a baby despite his size. Her eyes immediately focused on you as you placed yourself between her and Joel. 

“That child is a monster! Look what he did to my boy!” she snarled and the sniveling prince peeked out over her arms looking as pathetic as he could, “he’s just like his mother! Unhinged! Unstable! A complete disgrace!”  

You had to hold in your sigh as the little boy appeared to be just fine, just with a few bruises, but everyone knew about Joel’s biological mother. How she’d gone mad and tried to set the castle on fire, in the end killing herself and several servants. She’d never been well liked to start with. She was a cruel wolf despite Sterling’s attempts to tame her and her legacy hung over Joel like a dark cloud. 

“I'm very sorry Amelia,” you said trying to placate the visiting Queen, “the boys were just roughhousing and I think things got out of hand. Joel is very sorry.”

“No I’m not!” Joel announced from behind you.  

“Well of course the boy is running wild with a weak mother…if I can even call you that!” she snapped, glaring at you, “and it’s QUEEN Amelia to you.” 

You tried not to narrow your eyes at her, Joel was technically in the wrong, but the little cub should have been well trained enough not to insult another prince in his own castle. Trying to be diplomatic, you brushed the insults away, turning your attention to the doctor. 

“I think he’s finished with Joel, Amelia,” you said evenly, “let’s have the doctor have a look at those bruises. I’m sure a lion cub can withstand a couple of bumps, don’t you? Or is Joel that much stronger than him?”

Amelia looked like she would have eaten you whole if she could, but you didn’t bother sticking around to continue taunting her, picking Joel up and plopping him on the floor so you could guide him out of the doctor’s office.  

“I told you lions are jerks,” Joel pouted as you made your way to your living quarters, hoping to keep the precocious pup occupied until dinner. 

“It’s not right to say all lions are jerks, you don’t know all lions,” you said and then gave him a little smile, “only she is a jerk.” 

Joel grinned up at you and you gave his hand a conspiratorial squeeze. 

—

Dinner started about as well as you had expected, which was not great. Amelia shot lasers at you from across the table, while Joel made faces at the little lion cub, whose name was Harry, after his father. 

“The chicken is dry, take it away and bring me another,” Amelia complained to your servants and with a flick of your eyes you gave your servant your approval to replace it. 

It had taken some time for the carnivores in the castle to accept you as their Queen, but the herbivores, which made up most of the staff adopted you immediately, thrilled to have a bunny represented in the aristocracy. They were always hovering around you, worried that you weren’t being cared for properly. 

A sheep servant gracefully set a new plate of chicken in front of Queen Amelia and you smiled your thanks. 

“I heard the boys had a bit of a tussle today,” Sterling said as he worked on his steak and you winced, hoping no one would bring it up. 

“Yes,” Amelia snarled, “your brat attacked my son and his so-called mother did absolutely nothing about it!” 

“Well of course not, Amelia,” Harold spat, “she’s just a bunny with a crown, what do you expect her to do with a wild wolf pup? He needs a carnivore mother to keep him in line.” 

“Maybe the boy is just too young to play with Joel,” Sterling commented, “Joel’s quite a bit stronger. I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt the young prince. He just doesn’t know his strength and didn’t realize he needed to be delicate with him.” 

“Are you implying my son is weak?!” Harold snapped. 

Sterling shrugged.

“I’m only stating the obvious,” he said, “your boy lost the fight, he’s clearly not at Joel’s level.” 

Harold’s eyes flashed and his fork dropped. 

“My boy is NOT weak! Your son is a little monster, just like his mother,” he snapped. 

Sterling held back a growl, but he bared a sliver of fang. 

“His mother is sitting at the table with us and she is very gentle, I assure you,” he said, glancing over at you. 

You gave him a small pleading smile to stop this nonsense, but he only winked at you. 

“It’s unnatural,” Harold growled, “a herbivore mothering a carnivore…” 

“Your son’s nanny is a herbivore, is she not?” Sterling went on, poking the proverbial bear, “I’m sure she does more mothering than Amelia. I’m told she spends most of her time drunk…that’s probably why your son is so weak. He’s got poor role models.” 

Amelia growled, but it couldn’t be denied that she’d already had a whole bottle of wine by herself, not to mention whatever she drank before dinner. 

Trying desperately to guide the conversation elsewhere you inquired after Amelia’s meal. 

“Is the chicken better?” you asked, looking up from your mushroom bolognese. 

“No,” she snapped, “but of course a staff full of herbivores wouldn’t know how to cook meat properly. It’s disgusting. You should have carnivore cooks.” 

She glared at Sterling. 

“Are you letting this silly herbivore drain this castle of what’s left of its dignity?” 

“Queen (Y/N) has arranged a healthy, delicious meal that suits our tastes just fine,” he snapped, “perhaps the wine has dulled your senses.” 

“What are you implying?” Harold growled. 

“I’m not implying anything,” he snapped back, “I’m very clearly stating that your drunk wife can’t taste anything but spirits. Our cooks can’t perform miracles!” 

At that Harold jumped up from the table and bared his teeth. 

“Say that again, I dare you!” he snarled. 

“Your wife is a lush, and that’s why your son is soft,” he hissed back. 

You quickly looked at Joel who was watching the whole interaction with interest. When you glanced back Harold was flying across the table at Sterling, who was happy to receive him with a punch to the jaw. The two of them hit the ground in a pile of fists and fur and you quickly gathered Joel as your guards surrounded the two of you. 

For his part Joel was cheering his dad on, grinning from ear to ear. 

You couldn’t help but be frightened by the fight, but Sterling was significantly more fit than the lazy lion king and quickly had him pinned, while the rest of your guards surrounded Amelia and her son. Sparing the children the sight of his throat being ripped out in front of them, Sterling had the foreign king arrested and taken to the dungeon, while his wife and son were sequestered in their quarters. 

—

“What sort of example are you setting for Joel?” you pouted as you swabbed one of Sterling’s cuts with some cleanser, “I just got done telling him he can’t fight everyone!” 

He gave you a big grin. He didn’t need you to patch him up, but he liked when you did. So he’d forgone the doctor and you were standing in his bedroom while he sat on his bed applying ointment to his cuts. 

“He came at me first!” he argued, smirking at you, “I had to defend myself!” 

You crossed your arms and gave him a look. 

“You provoked him and you know it!” you said. 

He snorted and waved his hand, sweeping you towards him by the waist with the other. 

“He provoked me,” he said, one hand drifting up to play with your ear, as he seemed to like to do, “no one insults my Queen and the mother of my child and certainly not in my own castle.” 

“Fine,” you said, sighing, “but what now? You’ve probably started a war!” 

He shrugged. 

“We were going to war anyways. They came here with a bad attitude, intending to start trouble, not to make peace.” 

His fingers dropped to cup your chin. 

“And it was worth every lick to defend your honor.” 

Your cheeks warmed and you fluttered your eyelashes finding somewhere else to look.

“I’m not worth a whole war,” you muttered, focusing on his shoulder and brushing off a bit of dirt. 

He made a noise in the back of his throat. 

“Look at me,” he said a bit more gently, holding your chin between his large fingers he met your eyes with his shining black orbs, “you are worth this whole kingdom and more. You’re the glue that holds this family together and always have been, since Joel was just a baby and Gina…It doesn’t matter what you eat or what kind of teeth you have. You’re worth a thousand of those lions.” 

You balked a bit that Sterling didn’t even refer to her as Joel’s mother anymore. 

“I can’t do what I need to do without you and I don’t want to,” he went on, focusing on you again, “you are everything to me and Joel.” 

He leaned in to you and brushed his lips over yours. You gasped into his mouth as this was the first physical affection he’d shown you since you’d become Queen. You didn’t think romance would be part of your new job, that it was all just for Joel’s sake, but your heart pounded in your chest as warmth spread over you. He gave you another light kiss and leaned back to look at you, fingering your long ear gently. 

“So yes, I will take an insult to you as if I’d been insulted personally and I will defend you until the day I die,” he promised, squeezing your waist and holding you to him, “even if I have to go to war to do it.” 

Then he winked at you, his usual mischievousness returning. 

“And don’t bother fussing about it,” he said, “we’re going to show those lazy lions exactly how wolves protect what’s theirs, and we’ve already captured their King, so I anticipate it will be short. You’re a strong, elegant, beautiful Queen and the people love you. Don’t ever doubt yourself.” 

You nodded a bit weakly at him, a smile sneaking its way onto your lips. He gave you a gentle look and smiled back. 

“Momma! Did you see how Daddy took down that stupid lion!” Joel exclaimed, barrelling into the room, oblivious to the rising tension. 

“Yes, I saw,” you sighed, gathering Joel in your arms and giving him a little smile, “your father is very, very impressive and we are lucky to have him.”  

tag: @pinkrose1422

[stormz369]

☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 3

Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem)

written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, fluffy, mild angst, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!

warnings: reader character dealing with anxiety from previous chapter (non-descriptive),hinted at trauma from fatphobia, hints of Jason's self esteem and body image issues, otherwise it's fluff central

word count: 2.2k (oops? 😅)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Ding!

I looked over at my phone, briefly considering not picking it up. When I got through my front door I had ripped my jeans off, suddenly hating everything touching me. I showered, scrubbing the night off until my skin was raw and tingling, and now I was curled up on my bed sheets, having a good cry. I didn't really want to talk to anyone right now…

Ding! Ding! … Ding!

God, whoever it was was insistent though … I sighed softly and picked it up, checking the messages:

Jason: Good morning! I am so sorry for the sudden disappearance - my phone broke on my way to visit my brother!  3:15am Jason: Just got back into town, so I've finally got the sim card in an old one for now. 3:17am Jason: I feel bad, I owe you a week of good mornings! 😭 3:17am Jason: And sorry for spamming you - I just didn't want you to think the worst for a second longer than necessary… 3:18am

I stared at the screen for a long while. Jason was back … just like Red Hood said. Huh… 

Me: Don't worry about it, shit happens! 3:40am Jason: … What are you still doing up?  3:41am

I briefly considered telling him everything. Maybe it would feel good to tell someone … or maybe it would feel even worse. We didn't really know each other yet, who knew how he would react? Nausea gripped my stomach and I shook my head, taking a few deep breaths before replying.

Me: Just got home is all. Picked up a late shift tonight. 3:50am Jason: That's a hell of a late shift, that must have sucked! 3:52am Me: … Yeah, honestly it wasn't great… 😔 3:53am Jason: What are you doing tomorrow? 3:54am Me: Nothing in particular, y? 3:56am Jason: That settles it then! No more excuses, come hell or high water I will see you tomorrow! 3:56am

I stared at the screen, not sure how to feel about that idea. I did want to see him again, but I also really just wanted to sleep for 48 hours straight…

Jason: Seriously, name a time and place. We'll do anything you want! 😁 3:59am Me: You don't have to do that, Jason - you just got back! Don't you need to work? 4:00am Jason: Nope! We came back a day early, so I am all yours! 4:02am Me: … All mine, huh? 😏 4:05am Jason: 100%! Anything you want, name it! 4:06am Me: … Gotham City Mall, meet in front of the bookstore at … say 4? 4:08am Jason: Perfect, see you in 12 hours! Good night 4:08am Me: Good night Jason 4:09am

I was exhausted, but couldn't seem to sleep. I was still coming down from the anxiety and adrenaline from being attacked, and now I was also nervous and tentatively excited about seeing Jason. This was the step that usually proved someone was playing games with me. I sighed softly, sliding a hand down my soft tummy. I didn't mind the way I was shaped, but other people sure had a way of making it seem like the end of the world… I silently begged the universe; let this one be good. No more games, let it be real this time…

When I finally did sleep, my dreams were filled with red. Blood all over the pavement, staining everything. Red chrome staring me down as I cried. Large hands, so gentle against my cheeks, pulling me against a warm, broad chest…

I woke with a start and peered over at my discarded clothes in a heap from the night before. Red Hood's flannel peaked out from under my ruined pants, taunting me; I was about to go on a date and I was dreaming about another man? A man I was surely never going to see again no less? That's real healthy, well done Brain.

I stepped over the clothes on the floor, not wanting to deal with the mess left over from last night, and selected a cute but comfortable outfit. I ate a quick breakfast, spent longer than I'd care to admit on my hair and makeup, and headed downstairs to catch the bus to the mall.

My anxiety grew as I approached the front doors. It’s a trick, it must be a trick. The cold air conditioning hit me in the face, a welcome respite from the summer heat, and I made my way toward the bookstore. He's a hottie, and really sweet. Or at least knows how to play sweet. He's definitely not actually interested. I could see the sign for the bookstore on the other side of the mall. And he's a Wayne too! What could a Wayne want with me?? … Oh god, I threatened them, didn't I? I told the little one I'd stab them if they came back to the table. Why did I say that???

I blinked a bit, pausing. That was him, leaned against the wall right next to the bookstore. He had actually shown up. I watched him scroll on his phone for a minute before looking up and scanning the crowd. When his eyes landed on me I continued walking toward him. He pocketed his phone, kicked off the wall, and walked over to meet me, a little grin lighting up his face.

“You're actually here…” the words left my mouth before I could reconsider, my disbelief apparent in my tone. Jason looked a bit confused at that, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.

“Well, yeah? … You said 4, right?”

“Sorry! Yes, I said 4. I just … I honestly wasn't sure this was … real…”

“Why wouldn't it be real?”

I blushed a bit, clearing my throat slightly; “n- never mind! Sorry, I had a weird week; my brain hasn't fully caught up.”

He nodded a little, smiling gently. “Well, I hope it's getting better at least.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it is. Thanks. … So, what should we do?”

“Like I said last night; anything you want.”

“Well, … we're right here, do you want to start at the bookstore?”

He nodded and fell into step beside me, smiling gently. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked into the store, browsing the aisles. It was odd how comfortable this was; he was a good half foot taller than me, and at least 200 pounds of pure muscle. If his arms and cheek were any gauge he was absolutely covered in old scars, and he had a bandage on one forearm so whatever gave him the scars probably wasn't confined to the past.

I should be terrified - everything about my upbringing told me this was a dangerous situation to be in. But when I saw the look in his eyes, like I was the most interesting thing in the world, all of my self-defense training fell out of my head. The voices urging me to get to safety quieted, all my instincts stilled, and there was peace. His eyes were so beautiful… 

“... Is there something on my face?” He blushed a bit, chuckling awkwardly.

I blinked, looking away. “Sorry! I wasn't staring, I just …”

“... Did you want to ask about this?” he pointed to the scar on his cheek.

“Huh? No! I have a policy of not asking people about stuff like that; you'll tell me or not on your own time. No, I just … I like your eyes is all …’’ I blushed brightly, staring at but not reading the back cover of a book.

“... My eyes?” I nodded, still pretending to read the back cover. “... You're really not going to ask about my scars?”

“Unless you want to talk about them, it's not any of my business.”

“... You're a very unusual girl.”

“Because I'm not going to pry about something you may or may not want to talk about, particularly on a first date?”

“Well, they're usually the first thing anyone wants to talk to me about. If they don't avoid me in the first place…”

I frowned a bit at that. If we met under any other circumstances, I would have taken one look at him and ducked my head to avoid an interaction. “... People suck…”

“It's not their fault; I'm intimidating…” I cautiously looked over at him. He was also staring at a book cover, a pensive little frown on his face.

“... I don't think you're intimidating.”

His eyes darted over and back to the book, and the corner of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. “... Thanks.”

I nodded, setting the book down. “.... So …”

“So? …”

“... Play a game?”

He chuckled, looking over at me. “A game?”

I nodded. “You tell me some of your favorite things in books, I'll tell you some of mine. We separate, select a few of our favorites that the other might like, and reconvene.”

“Alright. Is there a way to win this game?”

“Well I assume we'll each pick at least one book the other hasn't read, so we'll get to make each other read at least one of our favorites. That sounds like a win to me.”

He chuckled. “Alright. Meet back up at those comfy chairs in the back?”

I nodded, telling him some of my favorite tropes, genres, and settings. He did the same, and we darted in opposite directions. He beat me back there, but I eventually approached with a small stack, falling into the seat next to him.

He gestured toward my books; “ladies first.”

I tucked my feet under me, passing him each book in turn and making a case for it. He took each one, read the back cover, and listened intently. He had read one of them, and I figured he'd pick one of the others, if that, but he insisted he was going to get them all. When it was his turn, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but Pride and Prejudice wasn't the first thing that came to mind. 

“I've seen a few movie adaptations, but I haven't gotten around to reading it.” I smiled softly, taking the book. It was a beautiful blue cover with swirling calligraphy font in gold.

“An unparalleled tragedy - I insist this is the one you're taking home!” I giggled at his determined tone and nodded.

“Yes, sir!” I made a little mock salute, trying not to smirk at the sudden wave of pink overtaking his face. “... Well, what else do you have for me?”

He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking at the books in his hands. “Ah, um …”

One by one he passed me, Hamlet, the Three Musketeers, a book of Greek myths, and … a trashy romance?

“... Not gonna lie, this is an unexpected choice.” I read the back. It looked like your typical bodice ripper.

He chuckled, blushing a bit. “Look, it was the only book I had access to one day and I was losing my mind with boredom. But if you give it a chance, it's actually really well written, and the love interest isn't one of those creepy possessive guys the genre is known for, so …”

I nodded, taking a picture of the book covers. “I will give it a chance then!”

“... Why are you taking a picture of them?”

“... To get later? I'll start with this one, since you were so determined that I read it.” I held up Pride and Prejudice. Jason gathered up the others, putting them on his stack, then gently took Pride and Prejudice from me as well.

“Or I could just get them for you.” 

“What? Jason, no. I mean, that’s really sweet of you, but that's way too much!” Between the books he'd picked out for me and the ones I'd selected for him, he was holding at least $200 in his hands. And he'd picked the pretty hardcovers too! 

He shook his head. “I've had to cancel on you at least 5 times, and then I disappeared with no warning. You have been incredibly patient and understanding, and I will make today worth it.”

I blushed brightly, a bit surprised. “Jason, … you're worth waiting for. I enjoy talking to you, you don't have to spend money on me for today to be worth my time.”

He looked away uncomfortably, bright red, holding the stack of books to his chest. “... I … I like talking to you too … just let me do this, yeah? Call it a first date splurge.”

“... Alright, if you're sure. But I don't want you making a habit of this.”

He nodded, smiling softly. “Don't worry; I know you're a strong, independent woman.”

I nodded once, chuckling. “Damn right.”

Jason grinned, god he had an infectious grin, and led me to stand in line together. He held the stack of books in one hand, and we chatted a bit more while we waited for our turn. I was looking at a selection of little plushies in the impulse items when I felt something brush ever so slightly against my finger. I looked down; his trembling hand was next to mine, his pinky slightly extended toward me. I chuckled softly, extending mine toward him, and gently linked our fingers together. He stiffened ever so slightly before relaxing into it, gently squeezing back.

Divider by @saradika (and my thanks for making them free to use!)

Taglist (let me know in the comments if you want to be added or dropped!)

@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona

[tellmegoodbye]

I grow fonder of Buck and Tommy as a ship with each episode. There's a reason this relationship feels much more raw and real as compared to all the others, even in such a short amount of time, and I think it's because of the way Tommy was introduced to Buck.

Starting with Abby, she was enamored by Buck when she saw him on the news talking about his job. Same goes for Ali, Taylor and Natalia, who were all people he met on calls. One thing all of his exes have in common is that their first impression of Buck was "heroic firefighter" and that was part of what initially attracted them.

This didn't happen with Tommy. Sure, their first interactions are in the helicopter, but everyone is in the same boat there, and they had more important things to worry about. It's when we actually see them interact for the first time in 7x04, and the first version of Buck Tommy is exposed to is Jealous Buck. That doesn't scare him off. Then, in 7x05 the date doesn't go well and he's met with Oblivious Buck, but that doesn't scare him off either. In fact, he calls him adorable! Finally, in 7x06 he is exposed to Clipboard Buck, Bachelor Party Edition, and still he isn't scared off. He even stays with Buck until he has to go to work. He also makes it a point to go to him immediately as he's done. Not even stopping to shower.

All of this is to say that Tommy has been introduced very quickly to many different versions of Buck. Through all of it, he remains gentle, patient, and understanding. Partly because he's just a good guy, but also because he is really fucking into Buck. And he's not just attracted to him when he's at his best, but he likes ALL of him.

In conclusion, my reasons for liking Tommy for Buck go way beyond the fact that it's finally a guy that he's dating. While that is important for Buck's own understanding of himself, I think it's even more important for him to have someone who likes him for who he is. This is something Buck has been needing since season 1, probably since Abby left and did a number on his self-esteem, and he finally has it.

[tyrantisterror]

I'm still thinking about that fucking poor excuse of a villain song from Wish, and, like... ok so I'm thinking of two similar villain songs that feel like they're essentially doing the same thing but land a lot better with me and trying to reason out why that is, but it's almost midnight after an exhausting day at work and I don't know how well I can do that, but what the hell let's try anyway.

Ok, so, looking at The Cursed Object first, I think what it's trying to do is a humorous juxtaposition of an upbeat pop song with dark lyrics, to show the villain thinks of himself as a lovable hero while he's actually a piece of shit. We're supposed to see how the villain is a vain, self-centered monster who's willing to sacrifice anyone and everyone necessary to keep and/or increase his power, all while painting himself as a hero for doing so. I don't think it succeeds in this aim, but that's what it's trying to do, right?

When trying to think of songs that were similar, my first thought was "No One But You" from Galavant, where Magdalena, a damsel-in-distress who slowly turns into an evil queen over the course of the first season, has a bunch of conversations with her own ego via reflections of herself in mirrors, just like King Chris Pine up there. Magdalena also posits herself as the hero of her story, a woman who's faced a great deal of stress and discomfort and ultimately can't rely on anyone to save her except herself - No One But Her can solve the problems she faces. She genuinely views herself as the hero, as much as she can view anyone as a hero anyway, and the world as an enemy to be defeated, suppressed, and destroyed if necessary. And I think it works because, despite the jokes the scene is filled with, it's very clear Magdalena is a genuine threat. She's taken seriously by the scene in a way that King Chris Pine isn't - there's genuine menace here.

But perhaps I'm getting this wrong - I haven't seen Wish, and maybe King Chris Pine isn't meant to be a serious villain, but rather a comic one. His number definitely seems to rely on comedy way more, so maybe I need another angle.

Let's look at a different Galavant villain and a different villain song to go with him - "She'll Be Mine" by King Richard. King Richard is explicitly a humorous villain, a bumbling oaf who's only deadly because the feudal system decided to give him a ludicrous amount of power over people's lives by dint of his birth. He's an incompetent idiot with so much vaguely medieval fantasy land firepower at his disposal that he's actually more dangerous for it, because ultimately far more people pay for his incompetence than he ever does (in the first season, anyway). He's goofy and silly and not threatening on his own, but rather as a result of how his petulant whims will be carried out immediately and with excessive force, no matter how stupid they are.

All of that could apply to King Chris Pine from what I've gleaned from his villain song... but again, I feel it's done much more effectively with Richard's song here. It's a happy, upbeat song with wicked lyrics, just like "This Is the Thanks I Get," but the lyrics benefit from being, well... firstly, just better in general (the rhyme of "Job" and "Prob" in the Wish number causes me intense abdominal pain), but specifically by heightening the contrast of the evilness of the villain with the joyfulness of the song to a much more potent degree. The hilarious tonal disconnect between the words "I want to skewer him with swords and slowly twist them!" and the peppy way in which they're song is just delicious.

But I also think that, like with Magdalena's song, the real difference is that this song takes Richard's feelings and motivations seriously. Richard feels genuinely hurt by Galavant's very existence and how Magdalena holds Galavant in much higher esteem than him, and the song is focused on that thread. When Richard does describe his evil wishes, there's almost an innocence to it - "I'll get back to all my hobbies, like raising taxes and tormenting the poor!" - and then he switfly refocuses to his grievance with Galavant, as if he doesn't actually want to think about how his petty whims are cruel (because, as the story shows, once Richard actually thinks about his actions, he realizes they're awful and feels shame for them). He's always running away from self reflection to dwell in his grudge, and that's how he's able to stick to his villainous course while still viewing himself as in the right.

Meanwhile King Chris Pine's lyrics, in addition to just being bad ("I let you live here for free and don't even charge you rent" cool beans dude you just said the same thing twice), is so damn focused on his obvious character faults in a way that makes it clear the writers know he's a bad guy and want to relate that to the audience, but don't know how to do it without just having him say, "Yeah I'm an evil hypocrite." I don't feel I get a sense of his nuance, of how he justifies this to himself, from this song, not the way I do with Magdalena and Richard.

Though maybe I'm wrong! Maybe the difference is that I've watched Galavant several times, and can see how its songs relate to the inner workings of its characters because I have the rest of the series to point me in the right direction when analyzing them, whereas I'm just watching King Chris Pine's song in isolation without the context of the rest of the movie. Maybe to give it a truly fair shake I need to watch the whole movie.

I mean, I won't. It looks boring. But if I cared about making a good analysis, I probably would.

I don't though.

These are the posts you make when it's midnight and you're very sleep deprived.

[a-d-nox]

web of wyrd: the solar plexus chakra

the numbers we are focusing on today are based on the yellow bubbled number in the center of the web - we multiple it by two to equal your emotional number - ex: as you see above and in previous charts, my energetic/physical (because for this chakra they will always be the same) number is 6. so to get the emotional number i have to multiple by two: 6 * 2 → 12. 12 is my emotional number for the solar plexus number.

but what does this number mean?

the chakra set we are examining is the solar plexus (manipura); it governs the navel to ribs, abdominal organs, digestive system, and nervous system. it indicates personality, leadership qualities, how to achieve goals, social status, success, ability to get things done, ego, and willpower.

so let's talk about some examples:

6 - the lovers

physically 6s are very much like their ancestors/parents. they tend to look just like someone from their family. biblically, eve was made from the rib of adam. that is much like this. the two biblically figures are depicted in the the card's image and the chakra represents the ribs to i felt it was ironic. they tend to have a nervous tummy - their anxieties can live in their stomach and reap havoc on their digestive system. a common health concern for this placement tends to be diabetes.

energetically 6s are very even keel. they are the balancing energy in any connection. they keep things evened out in all their connections - they don't seek out leadership they seek equality. they can be very chameleon like in a connection to the point where no one knows the true them. they can play the long game in any situation if they have positive energy where this chakra is concerned because they wouldn't be seeking instant gratification. these people are often well liked in a community - they are likely to be rather successful as well.

6s emotionally are can struggle with codependency if they don't know how to be respectful and communicate effectively with those around them. often they can let their emotions effect how the world sees them - they can get mood descriptors from those around them instead of physical, accomplishment based, or other descriptors. their personality can be mood governed. some times their ego can get in the way too as they can have an overblown senses of self or low self-esteem.

12 - the hanged man

12s physically are very lean and tend to appear taller than they actually are (it is all a matter of perception). it could seem like their chest is very full in the rib cage area because they tend to breathe via the lungs instead of through the diaphragm. they could have very taunt and toned midsections as well. they show be careful about how they physically position themselves this lifetime because the might be putting unnecessary stress on their abdominal organs without knowing that they are.

energetically 12s aren't the people that give off leadership energy instead they seem to be examples for what not to do for those around them. it tends to look like these people are struggling in life and as though they are annoyed about their circumstances. they best achieve their goals when they slow down and take stock of everything that is happening around them. life is not as bad as they assume it to be. they are unlikely to be seen as anyone famous or popular in this lifetime - if they do make a name for themselves, it tends to be one of martyrdom.

emotionally 12s are easily annoyed by life. it is a rare day when they seem peaceful; their peace can seem like a very celestial or other worldly thing if it is to occur. it could seem like a dream or what have you. they do have a unique ability to pretend and fake their emotions in a very convincing way that has everyone believing they are being honest and real. their ego tend to be be one in which they are have a lot of "woe is me" energy and as if they are always the victim in a situation.

22 - the fool

22s physically are very trim they have a toned abandon usually because of the exercise they do. they appear very healthy though they often have unknown issues internally that cause them many issue down the road. it doesn't tend to show signs - one day they are fine and then the next they are not. they aren't very nervous people - some may say it would be better if they did have a sense of self preservation.

energetically 22s tend to be free spirits - they don't have a leadership bone in their body. they don't mind being pioneers but they don't seek followers and power like many people do because they prefer freedom and not to be held back from exploring the realm. they can best achieve goals they have by having faith in the universe and themselves. they need to trust they they have the support for the universe that they need. they often wander upon opportunities they would have over looked had they not trusted themselves and the universe.

emotionally 22s they could be very hesitant people - often they struggle with trusting themselves as they should. they might be prone to break downs when they have to start over or when the outcome is not what they expected. they have to learn to trust their intuition. this is the one the few energies that i don't find has ego issues.

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[sugarpasteltmnt]

i am currently catching up on neon void, and it is a delight to read. your descriptions of leo’s mind is mesmerizing and grabs the reader’s attention so well. it’s very diverse and unique compared to other interpretations and fics♥️

i’m curious to know what your thinking process was like while writing leo’s insanity and his own thought processes.

(spoilers for ch11) the scene that stuck out to me the most was when leo was about to infect donnie. it felt so vulnerable and raw ahh

anyways i just want to dig into your mind a little to know how it works.

keep up the great work, you are doing wonderful.

WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH 😭😭😭 you are so sweet thank you!! 💙💗‼️and ohmigosh what a fun ask.

tbh i sat on this one for a while to think of how to dive into it-- beware of my (VERY) long ramblings below!

this question really got me Thinkin' and i kinda popped off but!! If i may indulge myself, here's sort of a wild explanation of how i approach Leo's Insane Brain for this specific fic:

does it meet R.I.S.E???

R - Realistic? I - Interesting? S - Silly? E - Existential?

R - Realistic

"How the hell do i make this sound realistic" is often an obstacle i run into. but it's also the Secret Sauce. What really gives the thought process direction. Given Leo's current situation, he's battling between what he wants and what he needs to do. Which is often a very real problem real people have. Exaggerating it helps create a fun back-and-forth dialog that can make his thoughts seem muddled.

With Leo in this fic’s setup, there are about five main key factors i rely on with his decision making:

Happiness The root of Leo’s general personification. He’s the guy who beat Krang One. The one who escaped a place worse than Hell. After years of missing home so much he’s FINALLY home. He’s drunk on happiness. He was finally home. And that relief and joy is what makes him so jubilant and goofy.

Awareness of his goal Though Rise Leo is a very funny dude, he's still a Leonardo. Throughout the series, Leo is the voice of reason when things are getting out of hand or are potentially dangerous. Leo's had nothing but time to think. Wishing what he'd done different. Wishing he had been more serious. After five years obsessing over his mistake and missing his family, the moment he see's the opportunity to make sure this never happens again he'll latch onto it. And when the stakes are high, accentuating that tension can help with frantic impact of his thinking.

His desire to see his family This desire often clashes with point number 2. Writing his internal struggle between the two helps with the “overwhelmed thoughts” vibe. It’s hard for him to choose! And he doesn’t wanna have to choose! Playing out the conflict between his 'want' vs his 'need to do' helps me bring out his nervous thinking process.

He's self-reprimanding thoughts We all love an Angsty Leo. It was hinted in the show that he had some self-esteem issues, but who doesn't love ramping it up to 11 for a fic??? That, and he was trapped with Krang this whole time. After hearing he was nothing but trash for five years PLUS the guilt of nearly ending the world, the guy doesn't exactly see himself in a great light you know? This can help clash with point 1, again helping with that 'what he wants' vs 'what he needs to do' inner conflict.

Instinct to Survive / Feral Tendencies This one is super fun. I love feral AUs/tropes. With little to no socialization in the Prison Dimension, Leo's sanity started to slip, leaving his body's natural instincts to become more profound. Plus, with the Krang Parasite, I like to exaggerate how feral/dangerous he could be outside of 'turtle' instincts. (Seeing that parasite hosts in the movie were very violent). Sprinkling in feral moments is just a delicious thrill I love adding, and it makes the insanity factor skyrocket and it's so fun to write 🩵🩵🩵

I - Interesting

Is Leo's thought process interesting to read??? Honestly, I just gun for what I think is the most interesting; Leo's relationship with his brothers (especially Raph), and the cause and effects of his shenanigans.

Also, I liked to experiment with wonky texts to help emphasize key moments or words to grab attention. Mostly because it feels like a fun surprise to read them in my opinion. Though not necessary in writing, I thought using some funky fonts might entice and excite 💙

S- Silly

THE BIG ONE!!! EVERYONE'S FAVORITE!!! 🎉🎊🥳🎉 Something I really love love love about Rise's style is that it's silly It's unique! It's fun! I love that Leo and the others are goofy and have some slap-stick moments. And I wanted to keep that with Leo despite everything. Plus, I ADORE that in this iteration of TMNT, the characters are such showmen. They are DRAMATIC. They are SILLY. And that's something I wanna celebrate!! Plus, as much as I love angst, writing nothing but pure angst is exhausting. (And I'm sure reading pure angst isn't enjoyably to everyone.) Throwing in Silly moments is like a little moment of refreshment to me 🩵

I also like to believe that Leo kept his sense of humor out of sheer SPITE. The 'wipe that stupid grin off your face' line in the movie really stuck with me. I feel like Leo would smile through his fear and still be a clown just to spite Krang One.

E - Existential

At the end of the day, Leo is dealing with a VERY big issue. I felt like the Rise movie did an excellent job portraying the severity of an alien invasion for the setting Rise had. And the weight of the situation would be too great for one person. And this is often what I refer back to to make Leo snap. A relapse in clarity of mind. A moment for the panic and PTSD to come back in full force and make him rely on his instincts. Usually the feral instincts he became more attuned with while fleeing/fighting Krang One. It also goes hand-in-hand with his awareness of his goal (as mentioned in 'Realistic' above).

And that's kinda a word-vomit of how it goes!! Honestly??? The tug-o-war between conflicting thoughts helps me write the madness in his head. It's been super fun and interesting, and I hope it's been fun to read!!! (Though I'm telling you now I will NOT be doing those floating text tables again OOF)

Thank you again for the ask it was super fun to think about ;w; 🩵‼️

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I wanted to give my own quick interpretation of the scene where Atsushi... imagines? hallucinates? all those people while conflicted over what to do in the most recent chapter, because idk I haven't seen people talk about it that much?

See, the whole conflict with Atsushi in this arc is that he's replaced the constant demeaning of the orphanage director in his head with encouragement from his mentor, and he can control the tiger, and he supports the people around him... but Kunikida makes a point of saying (before everything went to shit) that while Atsushi's tiger is strong, he himself is still weak.

I don't think this has to do with Atsushi's character per se. I think it more so has to do with his still very simplistic views on people or the world - things are very black and white, good or bad. And when faced with a problem without a simple solution, Atsushi's unfortunate tendency is still to freeze up. This is not surprising - he may be 18, but he's a very... how do I put this... a very young 18. He hasn't had anyone teach him these things or guide him. He very much craves support and encouragement from others. He likely also didn't see much of the world outside the orphanage before he was kicked out either. And let's not forget how absolutely shot his self-esteem is. The fact that Atsushi functions and believes in the best in people as well as he does is testament to how kind-hearted and resilient of a person he is.

But here's the problem: Atsushi's self-confidence hasn't done much developing.

What Atsushi has learned throughout the story is how incredible the Agency as a whole is, and as he grows to learn and care about them and realize that he has been given a place to belong, he grows to support them in turn; pulls his weight in a number of increasingly badass ways (he caught a bullet with his teeth. GODDAMN). But all that confidence goes away the moment he is left alone. Atsushi has confidence in his own strength in a group - and only in a group.

Unfortunately, the Agency, though I believe well-intentioned, kind of enables this mentality in him. We see Ranpo, Kunikida and Kyouka in turn, who echo things they have said and would say to this situation.

"Don't you even know that?" Ranpo would ask this, rhetorically, and then solve it himself. Atsushi would not have time to come up with an answer of his own.

"Failure is unacceptable." Kunikida would say this and then act, no matter what. Atsushi would be left to follow what he does.

"You don't have to do anything." Kyouka would protect him. Atsushi wouldn't have to do anything because she would grab his arm and take over from there.

See what's happening here? These are no longer demeaning words from the headmaster (in fact, I want to reiterate that I believe they are all well-intentioned), but they still insinuate that Atsushi is incapable on his own. And indeed it's interesting that Atsushi sees these "visions" of Dazai guiding him all throughout the hunting dogs, sky casino and decay of angels arcs. I, for one, think this is just Atsushi's imagination and not a real vision (unless we get some evidence to the contrary in the future) but for now, it implies that Atsushi's self-confidence is still so abysmal that he has to imagine someone giving him advice and advising him on what to do - instead of being able to consciously admit these ideas are his own.

And then Fitzgerald shows up - "No one expects anything from you." Looming over him, a symbol of power and status over the panicked, conflicted form of a boy who feels eternally powerless without support.

And then it gets interesting.

Akutagawa shows up in Atsushi's mind, for the first time in a guiding role, not a demeaning one. And there's a definite reason for this - when Atsushi was all alone, when he admitted to himself he had no idea what to do and was terrified to be left to fight with no one else with him - who showed up?

Akutagawa. Akutagawa, who in spite of everything, fought by his side and was reliable. And the thing is, Akutagawa cannot take over, not in their kind of plans, or they just won't work. They have to work together. They have to be equals. And on some level, I think this part shows Atsushi's realization of the rather surprising amount of trust Akutagawa had to have placed in him - and him alone. I find it rather heartbreaking that Atsushi appears to have just now started to realize this after their plan failed due to a lack of trust (mostly on his side I'd say) and Akutagawa died.

So, Atsushi receives guidance from Akutagawa, and of course, from Dazai, the person he is extremely grateful for as a mentor. They don't tell him what to do. But still, Atsushi is guided into looking - "get out of your head" and moving - "the door is right there - do something about it". These "visions" still spur Atsushi into action, but the action itself? It's Atsushi's alone.

Atsushi still needs to justify his actions by imagining others giving him support, but this is definite progress for him restoring a sense of personal... agency (see what I did there?) within himself.

And yes, his eventual course of action is to find Fukuzawa and have him make the final decision on the matter - but really now, he's just been told something that apparently has Teruko (who I am certain is older than much of the cast and likely a former soldier from the war) drained and tired and seemingly conflicted herself - this isn't really the kind of issue you want to be deciding on all by yourself. Also, admitting you don't know what to do but moving forwards anyways to actively ask for advice or help is very much still making a decision and moving forward. Actively asking someone what they think about a complex situation is very different from being passive while others take control around you.

Atsushi made the decision to walk out that door into uncertainty. And I am convinced he's going to have to pick a course of action anyways - as of right now, Fukuzawa is out of commission, as are Dazai, Akutagawa, Ranpo and Kunikida (we don't know where Kyouka is yet).

It's been a long time coming, but this is serious progress for his character.

[helluvabinge]

I’m seeing some weird takes on Stolitz from the most recent episode that I very much disagree with. My biggest beef is with the idea that Blitz and Stolas are acting like the end of season 2 never happened, because... um... no. That is definitely not the case.

So let’s look at WHY that’s not the case, and we’re going to start by taking a moment to look at where the Stolitz relationship was in season 1. Or rather, where Stolitz and Blitz both thought their relationship was....

Stolas sees Blitz as a long lost friend who he has amazing sexual chemistry with. He also sees Blitz as almost an exact opposite of Stella. Stella and Stolas had terrible sexual chemistry and Stella was always mean to him, whereas Stolas and Blitz have consistently great sex and Blitz is... somewhat nice to him. And even when Blitz is mean, Stolas has interpreted it largely as flirting and has responded accordingly. He walks into Ozzie’s thinking they’re on the same page, but by the end of the episode, he realizes that Blitz never saw their relationship that way. Blitz is actually very unhappy about the arrangement, though he is still willing to keep it going for the book.

Meanwhile, Blitz has no idea how much Stolas values the emotional side of their relationship. He doesn’t realize how much Stolas admires him, how much he enjoyed the time they spent together (both as children and adults), or how much Stolas wants to have a relationship with him. And it’s ironic because Blitz very much wants a romantic relationship as well. He’s incredibly jealous of M&M’s relationship and he craves closeness from those around him, while also being terrified of that closeness. All of the people he had been close with or had relationships with are gone now and they all blame him for that, which has done quite a number on his self-esteem. Because of this, Blitz spends the season completely blind to the thought that Stolas might actually like him, and when he acts ashamed of Blitz at Ozzie’s, that only confirms it for him.

While Stolas ends season 2 realizing that his image of Blitz’s feelings was completely wrong, Blitz leaves season 2 feeling like his worst fear about how Stolas feels is completely right.

So what does that do as we enter season 2?

Well the first thing it does is split Blitz and Stella’s dichotomy in Stolas’ mind. While before he was willing to put up with Stella because he had Blitz on the side, he’s now actually willing to deal with the Stella problem head-on, as we see in episode 1. However, it also allows him to be more honest with Blitz, which I’ll get to in a moment.

For Blitz though, it actually doesn’t change much on the surface. Blitz leaves Stolas’s house in season 1 with the assumption that he’s just taking a break for one night, but then they’ll go back to the usual arrangement.

This sets up a dynamic where Stolas is going to be different and Blitz is going to be a little thrown off by that, which I can only hope will push him into realizing that his view of Stolas is just as riddled with misunderstandings as Stolas’s view of him was.

So let’s break down episode 2.

1. “My dick’s good, but it’s not that good.”

When Via goes missing, Blitz knows he’s in trouble. And when Moxie suggests he exchange sexual favors to get out of it, Blitz doesn’t find anything wrong with that idea on principle. He still thinks his relationship with Stolas is only about exchanging sex for favors, so it’s not that he isn’t willing. He just doesn’t think it will work this time around.

Aaaand he’s right.

2. “Bliiiiiiiitz!”

I don’t think it’s terribly notable that Stolas doesn’t call him “Blitzy“ here. After all, he’s furious. Why would he use a cutesy nickname? It is notable that he doesn’t call him “Blitzy“ at all in this episode, but we’ll come back to that.

The real thing I want to point out is that Stolas is very much focused on his daughter. He’s not revisiting much about his relationship with Blitz in this moment or in any other moment of the episode. He has much bigger fish to fry. Aside from the occasional horniness, he stays focused.

3. The transformation + “Oh, like your memory is so great?“

First, yes. Blitz is very impressed with human Stolas. Does he think Stolas is hot? Is he just impressed by the magic itself? (We already know from Truth Seekers that he has a bit of a competence kink when it comes to Stolas) Not sure, but he likes what he sees.

Aaaand he’s his usual sunshiny self. What’s interesting though, is that Stolas doesn’t respond with flirting like he generally did in... well, pretty much every other episode when Blitz was an asshole. Instead, he snaps right back at him. It’s more of a response we’re used to seeing from him when he’s with Stella than when he’s with Blitz. (Though not quite as scathing)

Blitz doesn’t seem to notice the difference, but... well, we’ll get there.

4. Stolas’s sunglasses

I don’t have anything related to Stolitz to say about this. I just think it’s a fucking brilliant design choice for human Stolas. Well done!

Meanwhile, I hate Blitz’s human ears SO much.

5. “Blitz, we don’t have time for this. Via could be anywhere.”

Again, Blitz. Not Blitzy.

But what I really want to talk about here is the way that Bltiz looks at Stolas. He’s seeing a new side of Stolas and it’s really tugging on his heart. But then, very quickly, he puts his game face on. Because if there’s one thing that’s undeniably good about Blitz, it’s that he protects the people he cares about. He will fight like crazy to get them out of trouble and he will focus until the mission is accomplished.

“Don’t worry. I’m on it.“

And then when he tells Stolas that Via’s in great hands with Loona, that little smile that Stolas gives him. Because A. Stolas recognizes the pride and trust that Stolas has for Loona as her father and B. because he always has felt safe and protected when he was with Blitz. Even if their relationship is not what he wanted, he still trusts Blitz to help him with the most important thing - finding Via.

6. “If your performance on stage is half as good as it is in bed, you’ll leave them breathless.“

Once again, Stolas doesn’t call him Blitzy. Not even when he’s clearly about to finally say something flirty. But also, the way he flirts in this episode is different. Before, the flirting was generally Stolas giving very explicit descriptions of what he wanted done to him or what he wanted to do to Blitz. It was a reminder of his horniness, not a compliment. Whereas this was a compliment and an ego boost, and Blitz actually likes it. You can see the way he swallows and the smile right before the camera cuts away.

Not only has Stolas figured out a way to flirt that is not triggering Blitz to think about his fears and unease with their relationship, but it’s also just flirting in a way that really works for Blitz.

This is an exciting new development.

7. Stolas laughing at Blitz’s jokes when no one else does.

I love this reminder that Stolas isn’t just pining after a false image of Blitz formed from their single interaction as children. The things he liked about Blitz back then are still part of who he is now. He has a macabre sense of humor and Stolas absolutely loves that.

Then Blitz winks at him and Stolas... um... yeah, he’s starting to have some feelings again. But this definitely isn’t the time or place for those feelings, so Stolas quickly chugs a bottle of acid water to cool down.

8. “She’s mine and I love her!“

I absolutely love how quickly Stolas realizes that something is wrong. He spots it the moment Blitz goes off script and he’s actually worried for him. Stolas is starting to see Blitz for who he is, baggage and all, and I’m actually really excited for what that means for their relationship going forward.

And of course, now it’s Blitz’s turn to be distracted. He wants to get back to Loona and patch up their relationship (and yeah, I agree with people who wish there was at least a small moment between Loona and Blitz at the end of the episode, but that’s a whole other post), so he stops thinking about Stolas. He grabs Stolas’ hand and he does not let go until they actually find their daughters.

I don’t think that Blitz has consciously noticed a huge difference in Stolas, but he’s starting to react to that difference in the ways that he responds to and allows himself to be close to Stolas.

Again, it’s not much in this episode, but it gives us some tantalizing hints about where they’re headed with Stolitz and I’m very excited to see future episodes.

[infinity-or-oblivion]

so my loa batkids au has gained a little traction and i’ve hit a bit of a wall when it comes to writing new stuff so here’s an infodump to hopefully kill my writers block xoxoxo

first of all, jason. my forever number one blorbo. there’s a bit of a role reversal here because compared to all the rest of them, jason arguably had it the easiest. like we’re not going to compare traumas but an argument could be made. i honestly don’t remember if i mentioned it at all in the actual series yet, but the story i have for jason is that his childhood with willis and catherine was about the same as canon/commonly accepted fanon, meaning he was homeless around nine years old. however, instead of living on the streets for years, it was only a few months tops before meeting bruce.

and bruce! this is very fun to me, but basically i was thinking that if he didn’t raise dick, then why couldn’t this version of bruce be younger? so bruce becomes batman in his early twenties, which is also around the time that he visits the league of assassins for training and damian is conceived. (for a little more about that, here) and bruce is roughly 25 when he finds a tiny 9-10 year old jason trying to steal his tires. just imagine that it’s so fucking adorable and heartbreaking ANYWAYS bruce, despite being overall a disaster, doesn’t let a malnourished 10 year old out to fight crime right away, so there’s a couple years between when jason first meets bruce and when he becomes a child soldier yayyyy!!!! but legit, it makes a lot of difference to jason, because you know how canon!jason has some self-esteem issues (for lack of a better term) around bruce not really loving him/seeing him as a son because bruce started training him as robin (and as dick’s replacement) immediately after adopting him- you know that whole thing? yeah well here, despite jason actually offering to help bruce as a vigilante, this bruce is like hell nah you’re literally ten years old and the size of a six year old no way, and those few years in between really stick in jason’s mind as solid proof that bruce really does love him, not for what use he can provide, but simply as a son. also being the only child definitely helps with that

(that little detail of jason and bruce’s relationship is slightly inspired by minimum height requirement, which is absolute batfam gold btw)

okay so. slight pet peeve of mine is in aus where dick isn’t the first robin, the legacy is still called robin for whatever reason (lookin at you reverse robins aus) because!!!!! how dare you erase mary and john grayson’s importance!!!!! (look there’s more nuance to it than that i know but. to put it simply it feels like flying graysons erasure to me) so in this au, jason can’t possibly be called robin. the real robin has been missing for roughly seven years at this point

and listen. i tried to be creative and come up with something cool and original for jason’s vigilante name i really did, but apparently i used all of my naming talent on nighthawk (fucking love that name for dick it’s so fantastic) so we just have bluejay. womp womp

also! on my list of things to expand on: main timeline stephanie!!! i’ve had an absolute blast making myself cry while writing every heart sings a song, incomplete and those who wish to sing always find a song, but spoiler steph will always be my babygirl. and duke!!!! i have not written barely anything for duke in this universe but believe me i have some Thoughts. perhaps even Ideas. basically a lot of steph&duke and steph&babs and steph&duke&babs because i love my little underrated trio

also just more babs in general, because like. i’ve had so many tiny little snippets of cass and babs and their sweet little relationship just sitting in my notes for literal years now that i really just need to organize and expand into their own fic. and yet. i have not done that. but rest assured cass&babs are very very important to me

such is the curse of female fanfic writers: always destined to fixate more on the male poor little meow meows than the female bad bitches. seriously what the fuck is up with that guys i don’t get it why does this happen

[squarebracket-trickster]

Sorry guys, rant incoming. I considered deleting this but I put too much effort in.

"girlboss" "girl dinner" "girl math" "boy math" "gen z are making fun of us for wearing x" "here's how to dress like gen z:" "girlies" "girl's night" "boy's night" "me and the boys" "90s kid"

"I don't feel like an adult" "I'm 34 and I can tell you, I still don't feel like an adult either." "My parents seemed like real adults when they were my age." "I still feel like a teenager."

Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you started calling yourself one. Maybe you'd feel more like an adult if you stopped trying to dress like a teenager. Maybe you should move your bed out from the wall and get a wallet. Maybe find a calendar app that works for you.

You are an adult. Even if you live with your parents. Even if you do part-time shift work at minimum wage. Even if you haven't graduated college. Even if you are single. These are adult things to do. Because you are doing them. And you are an adult. Start treating yourself like an adult. Fake it 'till you make it if you have to.

In other, writing-related, news:

That trend on TikTok of 20-40 something women authors (and writers yet to be published) promoting their books like,

"Omg! I can't believe I've sold X number of copies!! I never thought I would!" "Ahhhh imagine publishing your book and all your dreams come true and now you get to meet famous authors and work with big names in the industry!!" "Would you read a book where [proceeds to list a bunch of oversaturated tropes that tell me nothing about the actual plot]?"

It reeks of infantilization. If you didn't believe anyone would want to read your book, why should I? You made it on the NYT bestseller list! Stop acting like a mega-fan who got to meet a celebrity. You are their peer! "Would you read a book--" What if I wouldn't? Why does it matter to you what I think of your book? And for the love of god stop hiding behind tropes you know are already popular. "Here is my book: This is what it is about." Have some goddamn confidence.

It is fine to mention in passing "this idea was really far-fetched so I didn't know if it would appeal" or "I was struggling with self-esteem when I wrote this". It's fine to fan a little bit. It's fine to discuss the tropes in your book. But why are you building your brand as an author off of your inferiority complex? You are using your poor self-esteem as a marketing tactic to seem "humble" and "relatable" but it's coming across as unprofessional and desperate for reassurance. You are an adult. You are competent. The more you act like it the more you will believe it.

And of course, I haven't seen a man promote his book this way...

On another note, do any of the 20-40 something women writers who do "write with me" videos on TikTok actually enjoy writing or are they just doing it for the aesthetic?

They all have gorgeous minimalism writing spaces full of white and pink and a macbook beneath a window. Their makeup is done and they are conventionally pretty to start with. But their entire video is just them talking about how little progress they made, how many pages they deleted, how often they got distracted, how frustrated they are. And like, yeah. We all have those days. But what about the good lines you can't wait to share? The days when the words just flow? The cool stuff you learned while researching? Why don't you ever make videos about that?

Is this some other attempt to seem "relatable" by only talking about the "bad" side of writing? Because again, it's coming across as lacking confidence at best and, at worst, that you don't actually know how to write. And that is not the brand you want as an author.

Again, its always women. Why must women market their self-esteem issues in order to sell their art? Why must we be perpetually awestruck children (girlies, book girls) in over our heads?

[soracities]

Ur so eloquent and i love ur posts about the societal pressures associated w makeup!!!! 💗💗💗 u put everything I feel & think about into coherent words and I so appreciate that! Also I would like to hear ur thoughts on plastic surgery bcuz I am also annoyed. If I see that smug smiley little dickhead plastic surgeon tiktoker on my FYP one more time saying “ohhh my patients r beautiful. Anyway here are all the procedures I’m gonna do to alter their ethnic nor unique features and make them look totally different” I’m gonna scream. The patronising pseudo-kindness is almost worse than when he goes completely mask-off about exploiting insecurity - like the vid he made laughing w the caption “when a 20yr old says she’s doesn’t need Botox bcuz she’s gonna age gracefully.” I’ve spent a lot of time cultivating a healthy self-esteem & generally not defining myself by my appearance - yet even I felt a flicker of my old insecurity seeing that post. I block every post referencing plastic surgery and I STILL get them. It’s incessant & so insidious - esp for poc. My 13yr old cousin (who watches lots of tiktok) told me she’s saving up for a nose job and a BBL when she turns 18 and my heart fkn broke. No 13yr old shld even KNOW the term BBL.

I feel so much for your younger sister, anon, because whatever else I may have gone through with my own insecurities at 13 (and they were profound and absolutely did a number on me), I genuinely cannot begin to imagine what it's like to cope with all of that in the age of TikTok and IG and the added pressure of beauty influencers magnifying everything.

Honestly, my thoughts on cosmetic surgery are very complicated--I don't think it's something that's ever going to go away, and to be honest I'm not even sure if it's about that. I know people who've had cosmetic procedures done and I know it was something deeply important for them and I know how much happier and at ease they felt afterwards--I'm not going to judge or begrudge anyone that happiness because the reality is, as much as it would be amazing if we all loved and celebrated ourselves and each other, everyone's individual constellation of insecurities and worries is completely different and not everyone will be able to address them in the same way.

To live in a world where we are not defined and punished for our physical differences would be an incredible thing, but we don't live in that kind of world--and so learning to be at peace with yourself in the midst of the world we do have, learning to accept your body or any individual aspects of your appearance is incredibly difficult--and these difficulties are influenced even more by gender, or race, or the culture in which you live etc., or even just the people around you. Do I wish my friends could see what I see? Of course. But I also don't know what they see, or how deeply that runs, or the impact that has on them. Because I also know that, when it comes to myself, I don't see what they see, either. I've said before that I find prominent noses absolutely beautiful--but I know that I cannot impose this on someone who has had to live their life under constant comments about their nose (or any other feature), to the point where they feel that is all they are to people. I don't condemn people for the choices they make in this, but I do condemn the structures and societal expectations that force some people into certain choices in the first place by normalising this idea that there is a "correct" way to look (and I'm not immune to it either--I have a lot of profound insecurities that are incredibly difficult to get past).

It's very similar to how I view makeup in some respects because whatever choices people make when it comes to cosmetic procedures should feel like choices to them. But not all cosmetic procedures are made equally and my real issue with cosmetic surgery (and in my mind I distinguish it from plastic surgery because they are not the same to me), more than anything else, is when it becomes a tool for upholding and celebrating particular beauty standards that are deeply gendered, politicized and racialised while claiming it is "just" a matter of aesthetics, which is deeply, deeply insidious to me. "Aesthetics" have never been neutral. Even the language we use in talking about it isn't neautral: "fix", "adjust", "improve" etc. Improve according to whom? Why do they decide this? At the end of the day, no matter what you say about the golden ratio there is nothing wholly objective about beauty because human beings are not static Ideals; you cannot distill beauty into a mathematic formula like a conch shell because beauty is not something separate from the thing it occupies. These ideals work for Plato, but we are living, breathing, moving, exsiting in the here and now. A static image of a beautiful woman in a Vogue covershoot is just that: an image. And all the rules that govern that image fall apart the moment the model moves again, the moment she becomes a person again.

And besides, nothing can be "just" aesthetics in a world with the warped beauty standards that we have. There's nothing neutral about nose jobs in a society marred with as much anti-black racism and antisemitism as ours. There's nothing neutral about BBLs in a society that fetishizes black women's (and other woc) bodies as ours. There's nothing neutral about buccal fat removal in a society so plagued by thinness as not just a physical but also a moral ideal. I read a horrifying article on GQ a few months back about men undergoing cosmetic surgery to widen their jawlines so they appear more "manly"--and a surgeon in the article casually said one of these patients also "needed a rhinoplasty" which made me see red: nobody needs their face smashed open for the sake of an arbitrary standard whose very purpose (Beauty) requires the existence, and therefore manipulation and condemnation, of its opposite in order to appear valid. These beauty standards only have value so long as their opposites have no value--but these "opposites" are not disembodied traits: they are real human features that belong to real breathing human beings who have to live surrounded with this rhetoric for their entire lives. There's nothing neutral to me about looking at a human face and dissecting all of its features, ascribing values to some, and disparaging others, as though they exist as separate building blocks you can rearrange at will. In some instances, it skirts too close phrenology for me, and I'm not saying that lightly.

These are some of my thoughts but as I said, my views on this are very complicated and I have to be careful how I talk about some of it because there are some things that genuinely make me deeply angry. Again, I don't believe the solution is to get rid of cosmetic surgery, because I don't think that will ever really work and I think it misses the point--most people will always have something about themselves they'll want to change or just wish was different and for some people more than others they will want to make that change: and I would much rather people have access to legal, qualified, accountable medical professionals when they do. But in cases like your sister, in cases like that GQ article, in cases like that TikTok surgeon (I have no words, anon, truly...), or really just TikTok in general, in cases like ethnic rhinoplasty and eyelid surgery, the fact that the number of people getting Botox has grown since the increase in video calls and Zoom meetings....in all honesty at this point I am just tired and infuriated by our refusal to have an actual conversation about the society these procedures exist in and are normalised within and I'm especially tired when influencers and celebrities make a point of not being upfront about their own procedures. I don't care what people get done or why (as long as its a freely made choice for no one else's sake but yours), but I do care when we make it as acessible as these procedures are now, when they are tacitly (and in some cases outright) encouraged, and yet talking about them or admitting to having had that work done is somehow gauche and I am incredibly tired of it!

[certainwoman]

difficult summer, beautiful ape photos and trying to fight self-destructive thoughts

I switched to an increased dosage of antidepressants at the end of May. It helped me a lot initially in terms of heightened energy levels and desire to focus on my aspirations. Then I got a call to apply for the same job position that I did in March. And then I was called for an interview again. I had no idea why the position was vacant again and as silly and naive I am still to the bureaucratic workings of academia, I imagined I had a real shot at my dream employment again. Well when I was interviewed on July 10th, I remember walking out and sitting on the stairs for a while trying to collect myself as I began to uncontrollably cry. I do not take disappointment well, I do not take stress well and I certainly do not bureaucracy well. As it tends to be, the original vacancy was announced again due to bureaucratic errors in their hiring process. After crying on the stairs, I went to an asian fusion restaurant and cried there too. I also cried because I was sort of struggling with my chopsticks (I am slavic!!! I use chopsticks at home sometimes but I think my fine motor skills have never been particularly strong. I also hold my pencil wrong. I learned there was no shame in holding my chopsticks wrong that day though when I googled it) . Days later, they announced that they hired a different candidate.

My therapist was on her summer vacation, I came back home, I was surrounded by my step father's family and it all added to the stress. I watched incredibly dumb tv shows (crime procedurals are unfortunately one guilty pleasure I do not speak about usually). Despite the meds, unemployment and disappointment of attending one pointless interview only intensified with struggles with depression and debilitating anxiety. When I say my anxiety is debilitating, I truly mean it. Filled with shame, I will admit I spent several years attempting to finish my two master's theses which I thought I would never finish because of classic boring exhausting imposter syndrome, perfectionist thoughts. I annoy myself. I had an incredibly devastating conversation with an ex boyfriend of mine recently and he called me an intense, difficult person. I am an incredibly intense, difficult woman and maybe I should embrace it. I do need to learn how to be a bit kinder to myself. So I did finish my master's program and in December last year, my thesis advisor told me to start working on adapting (shortening it + translating it from one language to another) it into a scientific article so I could add at least one notable publication to my CV (my career aspirations are academic, I am basically not good at anything else). I still haven't done this. Why? The same thoughts I had before. I have no idea why I feel like a fraud half of the time. I have extremely low self esteem. I fall in love with the wrong people and it emotionally shatters me. So summer was wasted. It was also extremely hot and I do not take the heat well.

I started daydreaming about hanging out with apes, gorillas, bonobos, chimpanzees, orangutans, the classics. Their images brought me such peace. It was an extremely romanticized idea that helped me amidst the despair of my every day life. I was just thinking however, even though due to all the difficulties I have faced with mental illness, various painful events throughout these few years, I did major in sociology because I truly love sociology. Even looking at simple cute photos of apes (who let's not forget can be also incredibly aggressive and difficult and intense but not in the same way as me), reminds me of environmental destruction and then I go back to the imperialism and the capitalism. The classics! Also interestingly enough, I never had a wannabe primatologist, biologist, even veterinarian phase when I was a child. I was obsessed with documenting birthdays in excel files and remembering various unimportant numbers and novels. Library was my favourite place. I think I wanted to be a doctor, a fashion designer, psychologist and then a sociologist when I was 16.

Today I decided to focus again on trying to get published. I will try to remember my mom believes in me, my thesis advisor thinks I could get published and also some other people hopefully also believe in me. Will I end up spending the day instead watching incredibly dumb shows and having negative thoughts about my own abilities to ever prosper? Probably! I also think I do not deserve films whenever I mess up and do not fulfil the obligations I have set for myself in my head. I have no idea where this came from? I was not punished as a child, I was just incredibly driven and competitive!

[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - comforting them about your ex

★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★★・・・・・・★

pov: the boys' girl has an ex and they go back into her life. how would the boys react? the girl consoles them saying they are the love of their life and that her ex is a piece of poop :)

warnings: ex walking back into our lives, comfort, insecurities, self-esteem and confidence trouble, scared of loosing the person, reverse-comfort.. i think that's all? let me know if theres more!

type: comfort (reverse-comfort)

members: all of them

OLIVER

i feel oli wouldn't really be jealous, because he know how he is and most of the time, he doesn't really mind, he's a free type of guy and doesn't really mind if others boys are looking at you because at the end of the day, he know you're only his and that you only love him

but for this plot, let's say he is, okay?? 😭

this man would be a bit sad

like really sad

but would he tell you? nah.

nevahhh

nah but for real.

he's jealous, but at the same not really

it really depends on his mood

i feel like if he saw your ex, he wouldn't want to talk about it

:( poor oli

his heart is so pure and all

you would know if he's sad or angry

he was completely silent and was holding your hand a bit tighter than usual

you knew something was up

he would be like ☹

"what's wrong?" you asked

"was it your ex?" he asked softly

you quickly nodded and hear him sigh

"what's up, oli?"

"he just looked so.. good? like.. he looked so confident and professional? idk, i just wish i was also like that"

he doesn't want you to be sad and all :(

"oli, baby, you know you are the love of my life, right? i don't care at all if he have more fashion style than you.. and i'll be honest, compared to you, he look like a trash can.. you're handsome in your way and i love it."

happy oli!

let's protect this man energy, thank you!!!

(rest of the boys under the cut!)

SEBASTIAN

bye he would try to act so cool and so flirty with you???

like your ex really thought he still had a chance with you?

we know seb, he's the baby (i can't believe he's actually 20, like what the hell??? the baby of the group IS FREAKIN 20 YEARS OLD OMG- anyways let's continue) of nsb..

he get jealous easily

i mean, i'm sorry, but hey it's seb we're talking about, he didn't really had a lot of relationships in his life and he doesn't really know what to actually do and all, like he still have to learn some things and all

he's simply not used to relationships and all!

he doesn't want you to walk away haha

but like seb, we won't

imagine having a sebastian moy kind of boy in your life and leaving him 😭 nah because seb is too sweet and caring towards us the stars and also with others people, like please IS HE EVEN REAL

sorry i'm done simping for this boy, but like damn

back on track!!!!!!

when seb saw your ex, he felt like something wasn't right

he didn't want to tell you how he felt at the moment

like if he was scared you'd judge him or smth

but you know him pretty well!!

so ofc, he couldn't just say "i'm not jealous!" because you and him would both know it's not even true

when your ex went to you and had the guts to ask for your new phone number, seb lost it

"back off, she's mine!"

"jeez, calm down.." your ex while walking away

"what a weirdo he is, can't believe you dated someone like him.."

not seb trying to make you say he's better than your ex 😭

i mean it's true, sorry not sorry, seb's better than your ex

he was so mushy in the inside like if you were going to go for your ex instead of him

"happily, you found me... and you only love me, right?"

"i do" you said while taking his hand

after a few seconds of it, he finally snapped out of it

"but didn't you think his hair were better than mine?? i mean, idk how to do mine, they're all natural right now and-"

"seb, your hair is so much better looking than his.. in fact, you're so much better than him"

he was smiling, but inside he was screaming

"i'm glad to hear that. he's so weird to have let you go"

you smiled

"but i'm glad he did because otherwise i wouldn't have you as my wonderful girlfriend"

and flirty seb is back, everyone! 🥰

JUSTIN

we love our jp's type of jealousy

i feel like either he would be super insecure (but not too much) or a bit sassy

bye, he reminds me of sunoo from enha 😚

like either he would ask himself if he's good enough to be with you

or either he'll be like "bye, i'm so much better than him!!!"

like, he would see your ex and make fun of him

he's only doing that because he's a bit insecure, because what the hell, the guy is so good looking

and he's scared to be replaced by him

because his outfit looked really good compared to his, his hair were in a perfect wave, his face was clear

he was just a bit jealous to see that ur ex still might have feelings for you again because the way he looked at you was really.. something

but ofc he won't tell you that

what if you made fun of him?

nah, he can't just say that

so ofc he'll stay quiet for a while and try to keep his jealousy inside of him

but after a few seconds, he just can't help it lol

he have to put your ex down or smth 😭 he have to convince himself he's way better than him

"damn y/n, check his outfit.. it's so boring!"

"my outfit look so much sophisticated compared to his! am i right?"

"fuck y/n, why is he walking like that?!"

"hum.. why is he looking at you like that? only i, can do that"

like bye-

justin just doesn't want to say he's jealous

he'll never tell you that he is

but ofc you know him

you know he's jealous

jp just never act this way

"jp? are you jealous?"

"me? jealous? hahahaha you're so funny, baby"

you rolled your eyes

"you know you don't have to fake your emotions with me, right..?"

he looked at you and was like 😶

"what do you mean? i'm not jealous!"

you sighed and looked in his beautiful eyes

"i can tell you are. you haven't stop talking about him"

he took your hand and sighed

"fine, then. i guess i'm a little bit super very really a little bit jealous.."

you took his hand and kissed his palm

"justin, baby, i only love you, and i always will. you don't have to be scared or insecure because of him. i broke up with him for a reason and i wouldn't ever get back with him even if i was paid 10,000$. the way he treat womens are definitively not something worth it."

he smiled and kissed the top of your head

"thank you, my love. it reassured me."

"even if seeing you jealous is cute, please tell me whenever you feel like that. i want you to be happy"

then he smiled

"just a reminder that your smile is one of the prettiest thing in the world, so if you ever feel insecure, just think about your smile, okay?"

"are you only dating me because i have a nice smile?" he smiled and laughed softly

"what can i say? it's one of the thing that made me attracted to you" you said

RYAN

hahahahahahahahahahaha run.

nah i'm just kidding, but like.. not very

this man would be really jealous

not in a possessive way like "omg don't you dare to look at him!!"

but more like in a way "you're mine"

when he saw your ex, he froze

"is it your..ex?" he asked while whispering

you nodded like if nothing ever happened, but still avoiding any eye contact with the dear ex-boyfriend you had

to me, ryan would be like the show jealous bf when it comes to physical and all, like he would hold your hand, kiss it and talk a bit louder to show his love to you

but he would also be the type to be like "i'm not even showing any emotions on my face rn" type of guy

he only show he's jealous when he hug you, when he want to kiss you or any stuff like that

like he said in one of seb's cartalk (if i remember correctly!), he's not the type to do pda in front of everyone

so when ryan started to hold your hand and started to kiss you on your cheek and on the top of your head, you knew something was wrong

and it didn't took you 3 seconds to realize he was jealous

"ryan? you jealous?"

he took your hand and kissed it

"why would i be?"

"you're doing pda in public"

"isn't pda supposed to be in public?"

"stop avoiding my question, nguyen"

he rolled his eyes and sighed

"i am" he whispered

you kissed him on his lips and smiled

"ryan, baby, cutie, i only have eyes for you"

"i love you so much, ryan. you don't even have to worry about him. i only see you and i'll never see someone more amazing, and funny, and hardworking, and caring as you.. you're mine and i'm yours, you don't have to worry your pretty little head, 'kay?"

he smiled

also he was blushing really hard because he had to turn around

"y/n, i swear you're making me weak"

"im glad"

after a few seconds, he looked at him and laughed softly

"i bet he's not even playing genshin or valorant, what a boring man.." (no hate to the people who don't play these games, i just think ryan would say smth like that in this kind of conversation 😭)

KANE

olala

this man

he's jealous

but also he's trying his best to not really show it?

like people can tell he is

but also not really

he just look sad tbh 😭

he would def hold your hand FOR SURE

and like kiss the palm of it or smth

i think he would be a sad jealous type of guy

like..

he would see your ex and his smile would fade down

not because he's sad like "omg i saw your ex and it made me sad"

more like because he cares a lot about you

he really do

and it make him sad to see the boy who made you cry, made you hurt.. walking like that like nothing ever happened

he was this close to go see him and say smth so your ex would know it's about him, but people wouldn't understand

like if he cheated on you, he would (probably) say something like that

"hey y/n, i think i'll have a CHEAT day today? i feel like this would be appropriate for me to have since SOMEONE did have a CHEATING DAY, right.." he said while making eye contact with him at the end of the sentence

like people could think kane's talking abt cheat day like the day when you allow yourself to eat a little bit more of calories/sugar

so yeah, hahahaha he would do that if he had the courage and the guts

because nah bye he's too embarassed and shy to do that kind of thing

so kane would just hold your hand and smile like nothing ever happened

"y/n.. i love you"

"i love you too, kane"

he couldn't help it but keep looking at your ex boyfriend

"kane? i asked you a question!" you said

he quickly turned his head and put his eyes in yours and smiled like he wasn't looking at the boy who used to be at his place

"oh sorry, i wasn't listening. what was the question?"

"i asked you if you wanted us to renews our subscription to crunchyroll.. i just saw some gift cards"

he quickly nodded his head and looked at your ex still again

"yeah, we can do that"

you looked at the person who he was looking at and sighed

"are you jealous, kane?"

he sighed and nodded without even saying anything

"aw baby.. you don't have to be. i only love you and i always will. my ex may look good to you, but in my eyes, he isn't. i wouldn't want to have him back in my life, like.. at all."

"you really mean what you just said?"

you smiled and kissed his cheek

"ofc, i do. and i always will"

you knew he was a bit jealous of your ex

"i love you to the moon and back, kane. i know you think he's probably good looking or something like that, but trust me.. he really isn't, at least not to me. i only love and it will always be this way. you're mine and i'm yours."

DARREN

this one won't be really long since like i said in my mtl jealous (link here if you want to read it!), darren wouldn't be too jealous

but at the same time, yes? is it understandable or not 😭

he would see your ex and be like "why is he looking at you like that???"

no, because only dar' has the right to look at you the way your ex just did

so when he would see your ex looking you up and down, he would quickly give them a middle finger (in his mind ofc)

because in reality, he would be like 🙂 "everything's fine!"

he would *ofc* hold your hand and start to kiss you

when he's jealous, he show it with physical touch, attention... things like that!

like omg 🤭 he's a bit showy showy with you when he's jealous

also, idk why but i feel darren would see your ex and be like "HOLY SH!T, HE HAVE NO ASS" then laugh

i'm just kidding but for real, i feel like dar' would be a bit insecure about it for like 5 minutes and forget about it

"i only love you, darren, you know that, right?" you said while knowing he was starting to feel a bit jealous

he quickly nodded and smiled softly like nothing ever happened

"ofc you do. did you see my ass?!"

no because i'm sorry, i know my hc are supposed to be like comforting and all lovey-dovey but like WE'RE TALKING ABOUT DARREN

i have to make it AT LEAST a bit more 😏 than the others

"yeah, yeah" you replied

he took your hand and kissed your lips and looked at your ex

"i bet he's jealous of me"

"yeah right"

"would you be jealous of me? like do you think i have a pretty ass?????"

"what???"

REGIE

tbh he wouldn't be jealous

like AT ALL

regie? jealous? pffffttttt? it's pretty rare

i feel this man wouldn't really be jealous because i feel regie's the most confident in the group and the more nonchalant like he doesn't really give a sh!t about your ex, he think he's poop

you're dating regie for a reason

and he know that you'll never be back with him

imma be honest with you guys, macalino wouldn't be jealous on a daily basis

but when he do (that's pretty rare), he's so clingy and all like cuddly with the other person (aka you)

like he would either hold your hand (yes every members hold your hand when they're jealous 💀) and kiss you at the top of your head

and he would look at your ex-boyriend and frowned

he would laugh at him bye-

"bruh why he is walking like that?"

"bro fucking thought he was being hot by walking in front of us like that"

nah but for real, he would make fun of the other person, it's not even a joke 😭

"regie, are you trying to hide your jealousy?"

he frowned

"what jealousy?"

"the one you have since you saw my ex walking in the shop"

he rolled his eyes

"babe, i love you, but you're imagining things"

you rolled his eyes and sighed

"yeah sure.."

after a few minutes, he would come closer to you and kiss you on your forehead

"i'm the only one you love, right?"

you frowned, but understood after a few seconds

"oooh you're so jealous!! i knew it!" you smirked

he sigh and looked away, ignoring your eyes

"okay maybe i am.. and what??"

you took his hand and pecked his lips

"regie, you're the only love for me, you don't have to worry about him. i only love you and nothing will change that"

with your sweet words, he smiled

it reassured him

you always knew what to say to him to make him feel better! :)

hope you guys liked it!! sorry it took so long :/

taglist (open! send an ask if you want to be in it!): @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0

[takibikaen]

My top 5 Bleach women and why I love them: Part 3

If you haven't seen Part 1 and 2 of this, here's the link.

1/5. Rukia Kuchiki ~ Squad 13 captan and Number One

I don’t think I have to explain this but I’ll touch over what themes I love, some of it’s duality and how it all helps encompass her character as one of Kubo’s best.

Upbringing and Human Nature ~ Throughout the first arc, we get glimpses into how Rukia was raised and what kind of warrior culture the Soul Society had. Despite her life in the Rukon District and being treated horribly in the Kuchiki Clan, Rukia maintains that Soul Society is better than the human world, that letting an inexperienced Ichigo fight Grand Fisher on his own was considered right by her captain’s standards. However, there’s cracks in these beliefs even from the moment she met Ichigo and began making friends in the human world. It’s especially more painful when she didn’t see Renji for 40 years, and knew she would have to return to Soul Society, that her brief stay with humans was where she felt she belonged, where she didn’t feel empty in the heart.

Self-Worth and Finding the Heart ~ Saving someone usually means the rescuee wants to be saved right? Not in Rukia’s case, her self-loathing over her execution is visible throughout the SS arc. It’s tragic, she was forced to kill Kaien to stop Aizen’s Hollow experiment from continuing to use his body, that she besmirched the Kuchiki name by giving Ichigo her powers, the guy who looks alike to Kaien. Renji and her split up decades ago due to the divide between them, and compounding all of that corroded her self-esteem to the point of her accepting her execution. However, she finds what connects her to those important people and how they care for her, the heart. Therefore, deciding to stay in Soul Society and reclaiming her self-worth.

Renji declares he won’t leave her in the face of Aizen.

Byakuya Kuchiki protects her to fulfill his promise to Rukia’s sister.

Kaien’s relatives forgive her for being the one to end Kaien’s suffering.

If it can be said that the heart is unchanging, then that is strength. - Bleach Vol. 54 poem

A Soldier’s Heart and It’s Duality ~ At the crux of Rukia’s character is her bonds and how she got there through becoming a Shinigami. Kaien was her mentor who taught her to fight and the theme of “The Heart”. To not die alone, to have meaningful connections is where Rukia ensures she makes sure to support her friends through her manner. I think it’s really poignant that the way she tries to sway Ichigo out of his doubts and fears of his inner Hollow…that it doesn’t work because Ichigo hasn’t been in the shinigami life as long as she had. Ichigo’s issues are far more embedded due to how he’s been changed by them….while Kaien’s heart which Rukia metaphorically holds in her, hasn’t changed at all.

Emulating Kaien’s mannerisms because Kaien’s heart carried strength, Rukia’s way contrasts with Orihime’s nature, which ends up helping out Ichigo even for a moment in the Hueco Mundo arc. However, the soldier’s heart is what allows Rukia to continue fighting against Aaroniero the 9th Espada, because she finds strength in it to want to save Orihime, protect her loved ones, and move past the obstacle, because she cares about the reawakened connections she has.

The top three art pieces are made by @srkbom108 on Twitter. Black and White background art is done by @Mak_ai_ on Twitter. The last two art pieces are by @rakusakugk on Twitter.

Thanks for reading, if you want to see my full-length post of all three 3 parts, then here's the Quora link for it!

[the-conquest-of-shred]

seeing Tumblr increasingly understand what strength looks like in a body and how it relates to fat and shapes you wouldn't consider "aesthetic" has done wonders for my self esteem

meeting powerlifters who are built like me and only care about number going up and not about getting abs has done wonders for my self esteem

it's kinda sad there's no real crossover community apart from fetish blogs