#endos can kick rocks | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

star-going-supernova · 10 months

Note

Can you write some badass Gregory? In the games nobody was really around to witness him surviving and doing an awesome job for a child so maybe get everyone’s reactions?

Gregory doing an insanely impressive thing without thinking:

The animatronics & Vanessa: !!!!

Freddy clutching his chest: that’s my superstar!!

This is tumblr generated prompt number 65 and marks the halfway point of this round! I’m a big fan of competent/bamf Gregory, enough so that I feel like I’m running out of slightly plausible scenarios to put this kid in to highlight that, lol. I ended up repurposing the premise of an old ficlet that I never finished, so, context: there’s a handful of kids trapped in the pizzaplex that Vanny’s looking to pick off one by one, like a game. Gregory’s thirteen here!

title taken from an old short story of the same name

The Most Dangerous Game

Gregory silently grit his teeth together, legs aching from how long he’d been crouching in place. Behind him were the two younger kids he’d found—seven-year-old Jenna and ten-year-old Delaney. He didn’t know how many of them were trapped inside the pizzaplex; he didn’t know how many were dead already.

“Okay,” he whispered as Roxy finally disappeared into the east arcade. “Ready?”

Both girls nodded, their fingers tightly linked together. Jenna was crying. He wanted nothing more than to get there somewhere safe, or as safe as any place could be in this hellhole.

He took Jenna’s other hand, keeping her between him and Delaney, and then he pulled them out of the photo booth they’d been huddled in for ages. To the younger kids’ credit, they kept up with him and did so quietly as he ran as fast as he dared to the escalators. Gregory kept a careful eye on the arcade entrance, but it stayed Roxy-free as they cautiously started down the steps.

He dared to breathe a sigh of relief when they reached the middle level, but they kept going. He was aiming for the ground floor.

Their ultimate goal was the daycare. Sun was odd, not murderous, and hopefully by the time Cassie was done with him, whatever weird glitch had him so twitchy and at-odds with his other half would be fixed.

As much as he hated it, as much as he wanted to keep all of them with him where he could protect them himself, Gregory had to leave the girls behind if he was going to find and rescue as many kids as he could. He’d already seen one too-young dead body. He refused to stand by and let the crazy bunny lady get to another. For that, he needed to move fast. He couldn’t do that with tag-alongs.

Their little trio reached the ground floor without alerting anyone to their presence, which was all Gregory could have asked for. His eyes automatically scanned their immediate surroundings for a hiding place, even as he hurried them along to get out of the extremely exposed atrium.

Their luck ran out before they could find cover. He heard the heavy, clunking footsteps first, rushing closer. In addition to the character animatronics, the bunny lady had unleashed a horde of creepy endoskeletons to hunt her victims down.

There was something uniquely terrifying about the skeletal, wide-eyed robot bearing down on them. Its face was so blank, and unlike the band, they didn’t speak.

Gregory blew out a sharp breath and herded the girls toward the wall before going to meet the robot head-on. He freed his sole weapon from his makeshift belt holster: a crowbar, snatched from the construction area around the raceway.

The only silver lining with the robots was that they were dumber than a box of rocks. The endo just rushed for Gregory, not even trying to dodge when he wound up and swung. It might have looked intimidating with its wide shoulders and large hands, but there were so many delicate wires and moving parts exposed along its spine and clavicle.

The crowbar’s hooked end tore through a lot of that, leaving the endoskeleton twitching. He lashed out, kicking one of its ball-jointed knees backward. It collapsed sideways, sparks flying, and Gregory clubbed the back of its head until it had stopped moving.

Sliding the crowbar away, Gregory gave himself a little shake to loosen up his tense shoulders, then hurried back to the girls. They stared at him with wide, awed eyes,

“Whoa,” Jenna whispered.

“That was awesome!” Delaney whisper-shouted.

Gregory smiled weakly. “Thanks. Now, c’mon. We’ve gotta keep moving.”

They both nodded, and he was at least a little gratified that neither of them looked quite so scared. Dodging STAFF bots by the dozens, their progress was slow but steady. At Gregory’s direction, during their one close encounter, they scooted along the floor, hidden by a large walled planter, staying out of Chica’s sight.

It was the tensest game of hide and seek Gregory had ever played.

But at last, they slipped through the doors into the hall outside the daycare. The home stretch.

Just as Gregory carefully closed the doors, a child’s scream echoed through the pizzaplex. He froze, instinct tearing him in two. He wanted to rush out there and find and help whoever’d probably just been caught. But he couldn’t leave Jenna and Delaney behind, not when they were so close to being safe-ish.

Biting back curses, he took their hands and rushed them through the hall to the door to the actual daycare room.

“Are you gonna go save them?” Delaney asked. Jenna looked to be on the verge of tears again.

“I’m gonna do my best,” Gregory swore. “But I have to make sure you guys are okay first.”

Delaney nodded, and Jenna sniffled and asked, “Will you come back?”

She was too young for him to make a morbid joke that only death could keep him away. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll come back, and I’ll bring more kids when I do.”

He hoped he wasn’t setting himself up to be a liar.

The daycare was still brightly lit, and Gregory rushed to the railing. “Cassie?” he hissed, loud as he dared.

“I’m here!” she called. “I’m in the play structure with Eclipse.”

He paused in his move toward the slide. “With who?”

Her shrug was audible. “Whatever I did to fix Sun and Moon brought out Eclipse. He’s nice, promise, and way more, uh, reasonable, I guess.”

Gregory ushered Jenna and Delaney down the slide. Eclipse, apparently, was waiting at the edge of the ball pit. “Welcome, welcome,” he said cheerfully, but Gregory could hear some well-hidden tension. As he gently lifted the girls out, he said to Gregory, “You must be Cassie’s friend! She’s told me a lot about you.”

Gregory leaned up over the ledge, waving at Cassie, who was indeed inside the play structure. Delaney led Jenna over to one of the ramps that would led up to her. It wasn’t a bad place to hide; she was easily out of sight of anyone who tried to scope out the daycare from the balcony.

He almost wished she could go with him. Cassie would be able to keep up with him and watch his back. Or, she would’ve been able to, if not for the broken leg the crazy lady had given her by dropping her down an elevator shaft.

“You’re not staying, are you?” Eclipse said.

Gregory dropped back into the ball pit, already sidling toward the slide to climb out. “There’s more kids out there,” he explained helplessly. “Someone’s got to help them.”

“You’re a kid, star-shine.”

Gregory pressed his lips together and didn’t say anything.

Eclipse sagged in place.

“Keep them safe,” Gregory demanded. “Lock the doors, don’t trust any adults until this place opens up in the morning.”

“No one will touch them,” Eclipse promised, hand over his heart, or where a heart would be. “I hope I see you again soon, Gregory.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, ducking into the slide and scrambling up it, sneakers squeaking. “Me too.”

#i answered a thing #anonymous #fnaf fic #fnaf security breach #star's stories #life and times of star

38 notes · View notes

okimnerdy · 10 months

Text

January 2022 (left) vs. November 2023 (right)

Once Cancelled, Revisted:

The FNAF Performance Program AU

I started this AU back when Security Breach first got announced. Essentially, the company has human alternatives for each animatronic in case they need to go under maintenance. It was basically a no murder/human AU my little brain clutched with an iron grip.

After seeing the movie on premiere day, I decided to revisit this AU and revamp everyone's look!

While sketching everyone out, I came up with a new take the AU. Basically, what if instead of kids, it was the employees that went missing and possessed the animatronics? It takes place primarily in FNAF 1, but I may do the rest of the lineup down the road.

(Click MORE to see how they died)

TW:// depictions of murder & mutilation

FNAF 1:

Susan "Susie" Cooper - Chica the Chicken // Susie was killed by her boss after watching him bring a little girl into the backroom. Worried, she followed and found Mr. Afton just struggling to subdue the girl. Susie did her best to save her, but ended up taking the killing blow for the girl. Susie is cut into pieces in order to fit in the mascot of the character she so dearly portrayed. Her hands were the only pieces of her ever found. Rumors say that you can still hear her screams in the pizza place.

She protected a young girl named Cassidy.

Francis "Fritz" Kitts - Foxy the Pirate // Fritz was killed after he thought he saw Susie walking into the back room, weeks after she disappeared. Afton tried to subdue him as he got too close and found another kid, but was late. Fritz got the kid untied and began to run down the hall with them. He was stabbed in the leg and urged the kid to run. He eventually died after losing a lot of blood from being stabbed in the chest, legs, and arm as well as having his jaw broken. He was hidden in the new concrete rocks of the pirate cove set. His eye and right hand were found alongside his friend’s hands.

He saved a boy named Josh.

Jeremy O'Hara - Bonnie the Bunny // Jeremy didn’t go out without a fight. He was there when the place got shut down for investigation, immediately finding his boss acting shifty. He decided to follow him and claimed he needed to collect some personal belongings before leaving. Upon being discovered, Afton attempted to knock him out. The two fought for a while before Jeremy was ultimately killed by having his face and skull smashed in. His body was bent and broken before being placed in Bonnie’s suit until the police left.

He is survived by his little sister, Vanessa.

Gabriel Frasier - Freddy Fazbear // Gabriel was killed as fit of revenge against the Frazier-Emily family. He was taken just after one of his shifts. Hidden and locked in the Parts & Service garage for days, only surviving because he knew where to hide. He was eventually caught after he kicked a paint can upon his escape from the shadows. Afton used Gabriel’s body in an attempt to make a new kind of animatronic, fusing his body to the metal endo skeleton and placing him inside the titular bear. Unlike his coworkers, no pieces of him were ever found.

He is survived by his little brother, Evan.

Cassandra "Cassidy" Woods - Hostess/Employee // Cassidy is currently still considered missing as no one really knows what happened after she went to close one night. The opener came into an unlocked store and her stuff was still on the counter, ready to leave any minute, and her car was still in the parking lot. No signs of forced entry or foul play were seen. A thorough investigation was launched, but her case went cold. Cassie remains missing to this day.

#fnaf au #fnaf humanized #fnaf human au #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's au #fnaf

3 notes · View notes

the-scintillant-sys-sideblog · 2 years

Text

it's 12 am and we should be asleep but fuck it i saw a post that made me angry lol

anyways shoutout to endos y'all are very cool and deserve more respect <3 people who keep shitting on y'all can go kick rocks

#sciss.txt #pluralgang #endo safe #pro endo #i'm not good at wording positivity posts when angry i think but. hi #i was not allowed to complain on our blogs but also i think i should say this anyways. bc it's true

8 notes · View notes

taldoreipixtorsys · 7 months

Text

Happy system pride day friendly reminder endos and other “non traumagenic systems” can kick rocks and tulpamancy is a closed practice!

#tal’dorei pixtor system #system #did system #actually traumagenic #endos dni

0 notes

seinrobinendo · 8 months

Text

Omerta Chapter 4 The Assault and The Home

We see small medival town, through the town we see the figure of Endo running through the buildings.

He has a gun like thing in his hand which he is shooting as he is running toward something.

A guard notices him. Suddenly Endo disappears from his view.

We see Endo on the walls, he jumps landing behind the guard. A knife manifests in his hand which he plunged into his neck.

Another guard in the distance cocks his gun at Endo from a distance.

Endo smiles, suddenly the building which guard is standing explodes.

As well as the adjacent buildings also explode.

We see endo running through the street as the bombs on the side of the buildings explode. The street explodes as he runs.

We see Jack in the Dawn building.

Jack: so your grand plan is to atack as a lone wolf.

Jack : you know you are skilled but you are no manga protagonist.

We see Endo with two knives slashing through the people.

One goes down. Endo rolls over as a guy with an axe drops a hit on him. He gives a forward kick to the stomach and jumps to his chest and brutally stabs him in the neck.

Then we see him stab through multiple people.

A few of them give him some work but all fall down in the end.

We see soliders flow into his way like a river. We see him ploughing through it.

Endo(v. O) : these people they only understand one way, one way to deal with them

Endo: (v.o) : showcase your strenght, move forward.

We see bodies falling and blood smearing on Endo’s face.

Jack ponders

Jack(v. O) : but is that right? To become a monster to fight monsters.

We see Endo still ploughing till in the end there is no one left standing.

We see gun to Endo’s head.

Endo is breathing hard.

Kisaki: you in my kingdom? What a way to make your entrance.

Kisaki :did the crime families finally adopt the way of Highgate, the right way that is.

Kisaki : strength is the only Benchmark for survival, not this necessary violence bullshit. What do you think Endo?

Endo : who knows, right now this absolute violence thing makes sense.

Endo ‘s voice is menacing

Endo : so I was thinking may be you are not fit for your throne.

Jack : wow you will become king?

Endo(v.o): there is no other way.

An old man appears from the shadows at the High Gate

Old man: that's right Endo But can you defeat us?, our best.

Kisaki gets in battle position.

Endo does the same.

We see Kisaki and Endo trading punchs.

Endo(v. O) : is this right?

Endo(v. O) : I know violence is the only way to deal with these people, but if I adapt this approach am I any different from the people I despise.

Kisaki jumps and drops a side kick on Endo’s face which sends him crashing into the floor.

Endo(v.o): no don't frame it like that Endo, this is necessary violence.

Kisaki tries to drive a knife through the fallen Endo’s stomach. Endo dodges and throws a jab which which Kisaki blocks with his hand.

Kisaki : you are questioning it are you? Your Morals and you are surprised at your own thoughts.

Endo :huh.

They talk as they trade blows.

Kisaki : we are all criminals in the eyes of most civilians. Atleast most civilians assume that what we do morally gray . But most criminals outside Highgate have resolved the moral dilemma they face one way or another.

We see Endo throwing a kick and kisaki cooly lands on the wall with his feet somehow sticking to the wall on which he landed.

Kisaki : the crime families resolve this dilemma with their necessary violence theory, which I need not explain. The idea that peace and prosperity can be found in the fine balance between violence and non violence.

Kisaki : what a load of bullshit.

We see a bunch of knives being thrown at him he dodges and lands on the ground. Simultaneously he picks up a rock on the ground and throws it at Endo at unbelievable speed.

Endo moves his head away quickly as he looks back Kisaki is suddenly in front of him and throws a heavy upper cut which throws him away.

Kisaki : Highgate resolves this through the Strength theory. That right and wrong is determined by our strength to carry them out.

Endo: I don't know what you are getting at here. But I am not you.

Endo wipes the blood of his face.

Kisaki :Huh but that doesn't diminish the fact that you are questioning your morals. I know you are because you just killed a hundred people.

Endo suddenly realizes something.

We see bodies of guards that had been victim to Endo’s knife attack.

We see the flashback of Endo mowing through hundreds of guards.

Kisaki : all that adrenaline is rushing in to your head. Your body has suddenly activated its oldest instinct, to kill, to hunt. Of course you are questioning your existence and way of life.

Kisaki : you just experienced what true strength can achieve, now you realize there was another way along

We see Maki dancing and Endo bowing down to Kai

Endo(v.o): shit I was wrong, this is different, this is not necessary violence, I am enjoying this. I must go back.

We see Maki again

Kisaki kicks him in the stomach and grabs him in a headlock.

Kisaki : you are realizing that none of that noble saving the world ideas really mattered. But more than that what is actually troubling you is the that terrible question, were you fighting and killing because you were trying to reduce the suffering of the world?,

We see Endo attacking and killing Jenki, we see him attack Silverline. We see him attacking Highgate. We focus on his face, yes there is a possibility that he was actually enjoying it.

Kisaki : or because you enjoyed fighting and killing.

Endo throws kisaki over his head and suddenly pulls out a gun.

People surrounding him also pull out their gun.

Kisaki laughs.

Kisaki : I cannot belive it you were genuinely under the belief that what you were doing all your life was right.

Kisaki voice is now menacing

Kisaki : let me tell you the truth, all this necessary violence is jut bullshit they use to cover up their true intent,

Kisaki : and that is to do what what they want with impunity.

We see Maki face on Endo ‘S face

We see the gun on the ground.

Endo: I don't know what is right, but I know one thing, I must get back.

Endo clenches his fist,

Endo:for that I must kill you.

Kisaki : that’s my boy.

Suddenly he is front of kisaki and plunges his face to the ground which breaks open the tiles.

Kisaki is not that easy to take down. He kicks endo which sends him flying.

Before Endo can recover kisaki sends down a barrage of punches. We can see the intensity of the punches have increased considerably.

Then we see Endo send punch to the solar plexus, which makes Kisaki go on the back foot.

He swipes Kisaki off his foot before Kisaki can grasp what bus happening a knife his lodged in his chest.

Endo drags the knife through his chest.

The onlookers watch on.

Kisaki is dead.

Endo stands there covered in blood.

The old man announces

Old Man: The Highgate has a new King, Tatsuki Endo.

Everyone bows.

We see Kai sitting in a room brooding.

Micheal : at this moment I am actually not surprised, I was pretty sure that Endo was going to pull something like this.

Kai :you know how many years it took me to just get their audience.

Kai : it was a long time after that I could enter into business arrangements with them.

Kai : I was expecting him, with his level of talent that he would reach the business arrangement stage with this one event.

Kai : that was my highest hope for him.

Kai : At least I hoped that Highgate would humble him, show how the world really works.

Kai: But to think he would be king, when did we teach young people such level of brutality that surpasses even Highgate.

Michael : Haven't you realized, we did not teach him these things and I don't think it's pure talent either. Talent can only take you so far.

Michael : this guy has a certain goal and an iron clad will. His conviction is so much stronger than the rest of us that he seems the exception and not the rule.

We see Maki sitting in her room.

Nora is standing there.

Maki : King of High Gate huh?

Maki : I hope you are still strong and know that I believe you even if no one does.

The old Madam enters

Madam : Maki, Endo has bought you off, you are no longer a courtesan.

Maki looks at her in surprise.

Madam : However as you know you can reject this offer, a transaction only works if both parties are in agreement. Moreover your time here is ending anyway.

Maki: I accept

The Madam smiles.

Madam: He told you to start packing things up

We see a girl running through the corridor.

We see Micheal getting off the phone.

The girl runs into Maki’ room

Maki looks up.

We see Missiles over Highgate.

We see people gathering over TV screens.

newsreporter : Today the World powers in a joint operation destroyed a terrorist organization called Highgate.

Michael : Kai, Endo is dead.

The girl starts crying as she hugs Maki

Girl : Maki Endo is dead.

Newsreporter : its Head Tatsuki Endo is confirmed dead. Intelligence agencies confirm that Highgate was behind Financing and facilitating international crimes such as human trafficking drug trade and terrorism.

Maki is emotionless.

Maki : leave me

We see the packed suitcases here and there.

The girl reluctantly leaves.

Maki: wow, you just reached here

Maki looks back

By the curtains we see Endo.

Endo: right in time for my death.

Endo hugs Maki and she is surprised.

Maki : at this point I am not even asking how you pulled it off. The explanation would be far too long and would just confirm my lingering feeling that our reality is constantly manipulated by few individuals.

Maki laughs

Endo : As the king of Highgate, I can do this much.

Endo hugs again. Maki is again surprised.

Endo : so much happened

We see the killing scenes at Highgate.

Maki: so is the Highgate over.

Endo : No, Highgate is not over, it will still be there. But this is the end of the road for me. I am no longer head of Highgate.

Endo :Also there is a software called Clean, I am wiped off every single database on earth, it is like I never existed.

Endo :if you come with me, you will be too. I mean if you want to come with me.

Maki pouts

Maki: you don't want me to come

Endo: no I want you to come, it's your choice.

Endo : its just, I just want to say I am still the same Endo that you know.

Maki’s face suddenly softens.

Maki:you big dummy, I know that.

Maki hugs Endo

Maki : I can feel the tightness in your chest, Endo.

Endo:let's escape this life and I will hear your worries till the end of time.

Endo: this tightness in your heart I will make it go away.

We see tears in Endo’ eyes.

#jujutsu kaisen #呪術廻戦 #blue box #chainsaw man

0 notes

hhhecates · 3 years

Text

Modern AU! Genshin College Boys HCs pt 3

# — pairings: xiao x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, xiao, venti, mentions of hu tao

# — summary: third and possibly final part of our college headcanons, of course with our soft grumpy boy xiao and as usual with some sketches at the end to help with the visual. Here you can read part 1 and part 2 if you’d like.^^

# — warnings: a whole lot of fluff, really wholesome, kissing and soft touches, xiao with piercings and tattoos yes that’s a whole warning, talks about chronic pain

# — tags: hc format, fluff, hurt/comfort, college au, canon divergence

# — notes: This is actually not one of the works I had previosly scheduled to upload,,, endo has really been kicking my ass in the last months, and well it got worse than usual so I got rushed to the hospital on Christmas day lol. Xiao is a character that brings me so much comfort and while I was there at the hospital I didn’t know what to do, so I wrote for him (that’s probably why this piece is a lil softer than what I usually write). Ahhh I’m so mad cause his rerun is coming soon and I probably won’t be able to get him (before albedo and now him too, what’s with the pretty boys hating me huhh). Writing this helped a lot, I know I said I’d be taking a break (for various reasons really) but writing for xiao, writing here in general, and interacting with the friends I have on here really keeps me going. I also want to thank everyone who sent me messages in my ask box and dms. I'm sorry I haven’t answered yet, the last few days have been really draining, but I promise you I read every single one and treasure all of them so so much. All of this being said, please do enjoy some of this soft xiao just for you!^^

- the whole campus is split between having a crush on him, cause have you seen him?? And being scared shitless of him because of how intimidating he looks. Not to mention that with how quiet but menacing and unapproachable he appears he's got quite a few rumors surrounding him actually I talked about this more in depth here;

- when I tell you no one, and I mean no one knows what the fuck is this boy's major;

- he follows so many courses that probably every single person on campus has seen him at least once in their classroom;

- xiao wears either big chunky and over-sized black hoodies that quite literally swallow him whole, or tight high neck sleeveless shirts and yes, even in the middle of winter, boy claims that he's not cold, and to be fair his skin is always sizzling hot to the touch, if you tell him that'd make him a great cuddle buddy, watch as he literally auto-combusts and flicks your forehead in mock annoyance;

- he absolutely fucking rocks street-style, loves cargo pants and turtlenecks, bucket hats and platform boots and shoes are his bread and butter. His favourite pair of pants is that one kind that zips open at the level of his thighs venti got them for him on Christmas as a gag gift, but surprisingly enough xiao ended up really liking it;

- venti is also his roommate and no one can wrap their heads around how these two ended up living together;

- venti is a walking hurricane and has the enthusiasm of someone constantly high on coffee and energy drinks, while xiao has,,, no energy left admittedly;

-you’d expect sweet, cheerful venti to be the soft one of the pair when he’s just devious really, but venti would beg to differ, knowing smirk on his pretty face, because it’s xiao who grumbles but acquiesces to braid venti’s hair when he’s too tired or lazy to do it himself, it’s xiao who chides and rolls his eyes, but makes sure hu tao and venti are okay, cup of water on their nightstand and some soup to heat up in the fridge when they come back from parties a little too drunk, and it’s still xiao who came home one late night, soaked to the bone, hair sticking stubbornly to his face, and a little calico kitten cradled oh so gently in his jacket;

-venti swears he found xiao talking to the cat, named Tofu by no other but xiao himself, xiao swears one of these days he’s going to beat venti up;

- xiao who only his roommate venti knows he's a dance major;

- in particular a ballet dance major with a double minor in music theory and computer programming (the latter just because after giving it a crack he quickly found out to have a flair for it);

- xiao who everyone thinks he's some sort of genius, but he's truly not. And people who do nothing but assume that he's got it easy actually piss him off so much;

- sure xiao can play flawlessly so many instruments: from guitar to flute to drums and the bass being his favourite. But he's not some music prodigy like venti is. He can't pick up strum patterns by only watching someone else play once, clumsy fingers stumbling and pinching the wrong chord. He can't manage his breath right on the very first try, his flute whistling awfully when he tries particularly hard allegretto. Oh, how ironic, even if he's a ballet dancer, he struggles with drum rhythm patterns, cause damn, how long it took until he could play a half decent half-time shuffle, and he still isn’t quite satisfied with his results just yet;

- and that's how you find him. Alone in the old theater, feet tucked neatly under the radiator to pull and pull and bend his bones at his own will. "You shouldn't do that." his head snaps in your direction at the abrupt sound of your voice, his gaze judgmental as he eyes you up and down. "And what do you know?" he fixes you harshly. You hop on the stage and sit next to him, far enough not to make him even more uncomfortable with your unwanted presence "I know that no perfect arch of your feet is worth weak ankles and possible long term injuries." you rummage through your bag and take out a tube of arnica cream, and what appears to be a feet roller. Xiao raises one eyebrow at you "You're a dancer." a statement. Not a question. You shake your head at him, purposeful laughter easily leaving your lips. "I'm not. I just used to take ballet when I was little." xiao's eyes dart between your figure and the tube of arnica you slid over the parquet to him "Were you any good?" you merely shrug, and sometimes reticence is more of an answer than words. And xiao understands. You were probably talented. Xiao envies you. "Did you like it?" he inquires again, one pitch lower "Oh hell no-- Hated it with everything I've got." he hums "Then why?" you mindlessly shrug again, it’s almost timid "To prove a point.". Xiao's gaze falls over to your lap, an open sketchbook resting there: doodles of the paintings adorning the walls of the theater hatched in dark graphite, the fresco on the ceiling prettily sketched out in vibrant cololured pencils. "You draw. That's... impressive." you laugh again, and it's different. Xiao recognizes it. It's an excuse. The same that falls from Xiao's lips when someone tells him that he's oh-so-talented. "It's not. Not for anyone who practiced as much as I did." there it is. "Then why?" xiao asks again and you grin, deceivingly sweet, and challenging, and fierce "To prove a point.". Xiao then almost reaches out to take the gel tube you gingerly offer him, fingers twitching expectantly at his side. "Take it. You won't forgive yourself if you make yourself hate what you once loved the most." xiao thinks, he wouldn't mind your company more often;

- xiao isn’t talkative, not at all, much preferring to ask you about your day, he likes knowing of the little details of your life rather than doing the speaking himself. However, if you push and pry just the right amount, gently coaxing him to speak with a silent but beaming smile, he finds himself opening up a little. He's awkward for the most part, stumbling clumsily on his sentences, it’s like forcing a swan to walk and not fly. You think it weird to see xiao being anything but graceful. Xiao’s not sure what you want to hear from him. It's more taciturn pauses and tongue-tied silence than actual speaking. But you don't take over, don't make it stifling, it's not the kind of silence that begs to be filled. You let him take his time, take a nice deep breath, share whatever thoughts comes up off the top of his head as you split some takeout or just laze around in one of your rooms;

- it's comforting. Xiao realizes. It nestles and burrows its way in his chest and makes it feel all warm and,,, whole. No room for staggering possibilities, you gently hold his hand in yours, your brows furrowed in concentration as you paint his nails a dark shade of teal “not black, not this once, let's change it up a little”, you had said before. You hum along to his ramblings of how C++ is his favourite programming language, you brush your lips against his knuckles, in teasing or encouragement, xiao will never know. What xiao knows though, is that his hand is still cradled in yours and he doesn't want you to let go;

- xiao picks you up after your lectures, surprises you by swooping right in when you step out of the classroom and pressing a nice warm drink from the cafeteria to your cheek in lieu of greeting, on hot days though, he switches it for a cool tea, huffs in amusement when you sigh at the sensation of sudden coolness against your face;

- xiao who sheepishly asks you if you can help him dye his hair. He's laying on the fluffy carpet of his room, tugging at his locks and gauging at how much his roots are actually showing. He looks so tired, dance practice being harder than usual lately. And you're quick to indulge him: that's how you find yourself at 3 in the morning with your hands covered in teal dye you gave up on the gloves long ago and while you're attempting at using the brush, xiao squirming around doesn't make it any easier. He swears he's not ticklish, but you don't think you can believe him when his sleepy giggles and gasps fill the room as you accidentally you get some of the dye on the back of his neck;

- the week after, still in xiao's room, still at 3 am, you find yourself asking him if he could dye your hair for you too. He looks at you weirdly, but 30 minutes later you're at the nearest convenience store, stumbling in the empty aisles and tugging xiao along by the hand. As you browse the hair dye section how is it that there's such a wide choice too you ask xiao to pick for you, and you giggle when you see his eyes, dazed with sleep, focus and narrow, taking very much too seriously the task at hand;

- xiao lets you fiddle and play around with the chunky rings adorning his fingers, he won’t really hold you hand, but it’s almost there, one breath away, as he relishes how your digits trace over the funky designs of his rings, twist and pull and take them off just to see if they fit on another finger or your own. He sometimes is bold enough to take them off himself and put it on you, but you always whine after awhile, because they look better on him, and admittedly they’re are so clunky it’s nearly impossible not to feel uncomfortable after wearing them even for a short time. Xiao takes notice, of course he does, of the way you unconsciously pout when you give them back to him, like you don’t want to part with them just yet. So he adds a simple but elegant one to the mix, a slender and thin silver band that fits so well on your fingers it makes him almost crack a smile. He likes the way you hum in approval when he puts it on you the first time, likes it even more when you don’t give it back as you usually do but give him a silent mumble of “I’m gonna keep it”. And you do, though you don’t stop fidgeting with his rings too, and sometimes you slide your new acquired one back on xiao’s own digits just to have him grumble and put it back on yours again and again;

- xiao who’s obsessed with platform shoes like come on, they make him taller. And no matter if you’re taller, shorter or the same height, every day it’s a competition of who wears the tallest platforms and maybe even who’s the tallest that day (yes xiao once almost did break an ankle because he wore boots too high. Venti still brings it up every so often for his chagrin too);

- xiao who can't keep his hands still, blames it both on being a dancer and playing so many instruments. He practices whole choreographies with swift swoops of his fingers, twist his longer locks of hair until they're all knotted up and he has to ask you to brush it out for him, xiao drums paint-chipped nails on every surface possible, playing out his favourite tunes and trying out new ones as well. It gets even worse when he's nervous: xiao picks and tugs and scratches at his skin, sometimes even leaving bloody trails along his cuticles. So when it happens, when his groovy pattering turns into brassy rapping, you take his hand in yours, trace soothing circles on his knuckles and gently tap his currently favourite song on his palm. The effect is immediate, xiao's shoulders drop all of the tension, and a funky smile or at least a lame attempt at hiding one gently takes over his features. Careful though, because now you'll be subject to xiao's tapping. Whenever he's anxious, or upset, or even just tired after one long day of classes, xiao starts tapping at your knee, soft touches trailing up to the skin of your thigh, your hip, if he's feeling playful enough your ribs to tickle you yes, but he'll never admit it though. He drums along your favourite songs now, because he knows, xiao knows he can count on you to play his favourite songs on his skin too;

- xiao who has a lisp, he very much embarrassedly told you he used to have braces back in high-school, he struggles to get his Ls and Rs right sometimes, and whenever he stumbles upon the same word multiple times in a row he would get all huffy and quiet, brows furrowing as he looks down. You cup his cheeks and kiss the corner of his lips, just where air would escape them and cause his lisp, and when you see how the frown softens you add another fleeting one on his lips just for yourself. He is so quick to melt in your embrace then, but please, don’t make him look at you in the eyes while he hides away in the crook of your neck;

- xiao's,,, not good with touch. He's halfway between utterly touch repulsed and grossly touch starved. His hands tremble when he does anything that's not dancing or programming. That's only where xiao's certitude lay: in the assured outcome of every of his leaps and twirls on stage and the numbers and letters on his computer screen. When it comes to anything else,,, xiao is quite lost. Still he feels it. Xiao always wants, needs you close to him when you’re out and about, he won’t accept you standing more than two feet away, hand hovering the small of your back, if the place is crowded, he also won’t accept you sitting anywhere but tucked against his side, nose nuzzling in your hair, or temple, or neck, xiao’s akin to a cat and he will headbutt you for affection;

- xiao also has developed the habit to brush the hair from your nape, gently blowing at the skin there and tracing your spine with his blunt nails. The first time he did it because your hair was sticking to your neck, though your startled reaction was much more of a reward. Oh- who knew xiao could be so teasing, because now that’s his favourite and only way to greet you. And no, he doesn’t feel guilty at all at the way you jump and squirm, he’s got his hands hovering around your waist to stabilize you anyways. You’re safe with him, not so safe from the teasing though;

- xiao actually suffers from chronic pains, and his strict ballet routine doesn't make it any better. There are days when xiao can hardly get out of bed from the pain that courses through his limbs. Xiao's very very far from being selfish, but on these days, you'll find him clinging a little harder at the hem of your shirt when you try to get started for your day. "Please." xiao ashamedly mumbles, and nothing else, because he won't ask you to stay, but you understand not that you were planning to leave him like this anytime soon anyways. On these occasions xiao will turn even quieter than usual, but surprisingly enough his inhibition seem to melt away as well. He'll spend the day with his head buried in your stomach or neck, fidgety and restless hands crawling under your shirt and running circles on your skin in search of comfort. Unfortunately your embrace alone can't make it better, xiao knows it, but as his eyelids grow heavy and he noses deeper in the skin of your collarbone, xiao thinks that no matter how much it hurts, if it's in your arms, at least it'll always be safe;

- xiao who is covered in tattoos. He's got his whole arm tattooed, pretty and abstract design wrapping all the way his knuckles, and up, up to his shoulder blade. Xiao doesn't really hide them except on official ballet performances when his professors advise him to you always tease him about how much of a good boy, of a good student he is, he groans and tries to ignore you, but the blush adorning his face says otherwise. However you only discover the full extent of his tattoos one lazy afternoon spent in his dorm room, while you're reviewing your notes on his bed, and he's sitting next to you, plucking at his bass, long comfortable with letting you hear him play. And then you see it, through the low cut sleeves of his top, the pretty pretty ink engraved on the skin of his ribs, winding down the planes of his abdomen. You don't realize you reached your hand out to trace the design with your own fingers until he gasps and recoils, but doesn't shy away from your touch. A half-hearted apology falls from your lips, and he just shakes his head but shuffles a little closer. "They're really pretty" xiao meekly hums in acknowledgement, then he takes a pause "Aren't you going to ask me what they mean?" you mull it over for a few seconds, then merely shrug "It doesn't have to have a meaning. It's pretty as it is." a questioning noise leaves his throat, halfway between startled and inquisitive "Doesn't art that's just pretty tend to be superficial?" and when xiao asks that, his voice is almost timid "Perhaps. But just because it's superficial, it doesn't make it any less valid. Art that's pretty, art that's meaningful, art that's both or neither. They can all stand on their own." xiao takes in your words greedily. He teeters even closer, then he resumes playing;

- xiao's got quite a few piercings as well. Aside from your classic ear piercings, he's got a couple of labrets and a bridge piercing too. And you thought that was it. But oh- how wrong were you. And you discover it the first time he properly kisses you. With his hands so softly cradling your jaw, thumb tracing reverent circles on your skin, you shiver against his lips and only then, when his tongue prods your lips open to find home in your mouth, you whimper and gasp, gripping at his shoulder and pulling him away, much for his displeasure and well, your own as well "YOU HAVE A TONGUE PIERCING?" you whisper-yell, trying to ignore the way xiao is still trying to tug you closer, and he does, because you're too weak to resist those glazed eyes of his, too weak when he's still staring at your lips, nose nuzzling your own. Xiao just hums dismissively, and apparently that's all the confirmation you need before your lips meet his own halfway. Only then the fog enveloping his mind seems to clear, if just for a mere second, xiao cracks out an apology, asks under his breath if kissing him with all his piercings hurt, he mumbles close close close against your mouth, you feel the words he utters resting on your tongue, xiao refuses to pull away even when you're both breathless. You shake your head hastily and pull him to you again because kissing xiao feels like a shipwreck and he's holding you like drowning is sweet.

Here’s some sketches of college au!Xiao,,, for some reasons I’m really soft for this concept are we even surprised anymore and I really like the idea of ballet dancer Xiao as well, so let me know if you’d like some more sketches of him in this au.^^

#xiao x reader #xiao imagines #xiao headcanons #xiao fluff #genshin xiao #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin modern au #genshin venti #genshin hu tao #genshin kazuha #genshin albedo

659 notes · View notes

awkwardbluefish · 6 years

Text

—

Lil crossover with the new Batman adventures

—

Red is currently covered head to toe with Clayfaces parts and eww. It’s gross and why can’t villains keep to themselves? It’s not that hard to get a job, seriously. All you need is enough cash to buy your way in.

It’s wet and sticky and he can feel it wiggling in his boots and gloves trying to get out because its like a persons limb that somehow is wiggling after death. But this is clayface, clayface who hasn’t showed his ugly and running face since Tim was robin.

That also means no one else knows exactly how to deal with this annoying clay that can move like water or be as hard and painful as a rock. No one knows how to deal with this stupid little thing that can shrink like a ant or be as giant as a whale and it’s pissing Red off.

It’s pissing him off because N is currently stuck to the roof of a very tall bank and Hood is to busy pissing himself laughing as the clay tickles him. And Robin- wait where is robin?

Red wrangles himself up to his feet looking around. The bank is completely covered in clay except for some parts. Clayface is in the middle, hand solidified into a mace.

Reds moving without a second thought, kicking at the clay trying to slow him down because Clay is swinging at a coughing blob and that coughing blob is Robin dammit.

His breathes are coming out strangled as he electrocutes himself and owfuck it hurts but he has to get the clay off of him now. The clay bubbles and pops and hisses as it flies off him and owfuck his body hurts a goddamn lot but he ignores the pain like a typical bat as he reaches inside his belt.

As soon as the freezing pellets are in his ruined gloves Red yells,

“Robin, back up!” And throws.

Red thanks the heavens above that his little brat of a brother actually listens and curses the hells below that clayface fucking spits the damn things out.

He manoeuvres his body to twist and the landing is a painful owfuck as he lands on his side. But he gets right on backup as Hood and N yell at them in worry to get to Robin. His cape is covered in Clay and the little brat is unconscious and goddamn this isn’t good.

“Red!”

Red wraps his limbs around his little brother and moves, grabble in hand and fired and in the air just as clayface barrels out the window.

Glass shatter and Red watches in utter annoyance as there’s a wet squelch from outside. He’s setting Robin down on a desk and throwing a utility belt up to Hoods reach.

And then he’s jumping out the window ignoring the shouts.

His grabble gun in hand saves him from the drop and lands him in an alleyway, right in front of a pile of clay that’s wiggling in agony?

Clayface got away then.

Red sighs and pinches at his cowl covered nose because clayface could be anything or anyone by now and no one would know.

He flicks at his com and can hear it crackle. Barbara isn’t going to be happy but hey, clayface and his stupid extendable body parts caused this.

“Clayface got away, tracking device might be attached still.”

Red sighs and yanks his cowl off, the clay in the whiteouts aren’t helping anyone right now so he puts the special glue on a spare domino mask and sticks it on.

The whiteouts click on and he’s revealed with all the options his cowl can give him excepts Reds own updates. He should update this for emergency’s.....

Squeal

Reds got his bo in his hand instantly, glaring at the medium size of lump of wiggling mess in front of him.

Behind him there’s three near silent thuds that tells Red he has backup, so he creeps forward.

He runs when a shaky hand claws at the clay and that’s a hand of a little girls! He runs but stops at the pale face that pops out, a small girl with black hair and a pink hair band has Tim gaping.

Annie

And like some messed up déjà vu Annie looks at him, Annie who looks about nine, and then she’s running at him and Red can hear the safety of a gun click off as the little girl stumbles right on into him.

“He’s going to come after me, he’s going to come after me robin! Please help, you did it before! Please help he’s angry,” it comes out in sobs and Red is still to the bone because what.

And then he’s moving, wrapping Annie in his cape as pale hands clutch at him because he is not going to fail her this time. He can’t. He won’t.

—

The endo :P

#dc #tim drake #dick grayson #batfamily #jason todd #damian wayne #nightwing #red robin #red hood #robin #annie #the new batman adventures #crossover #mine #my writing

13 notes · View notes

davidjjohnston3 · 3 years

Text

Facebook Insomnia 7.25.2021 1. I am still sad to conceptualize life in terms of fiction and the condition of fiction rather than Christianity undivided. Today I had a lot of images of Japan in my mind. I heard the phrase 'Japanese Breakfast' which is the rock-star name of the author of 'Crying at H-Mart' a famous book. I remembered someone who once dated someone who became my enemy. This person I respected I now realize and I am happy that I didn't say anything excessively stupid that would have implied I look down on her, saw her as easy, saw her as 'material to work on,' someone to have a plan for etc. I asked her once for help getting someone to interview at Deloitte for consulting only this person was in Accounting. I never really saw this person as in my league or anything to me except as a 'Curriculum Developer' I guess I outranked her and so wasn't shy of talking to / with her in official functions. Later we drank together and I said a few random things like that I stress- / binge-eat apples, like 5 apples a night. My friend once did a funny imitation of her that in retrospect sounded a little like my Taiwanese ex-girlfriend's imitation of Kaori Mochida from Every Little Thing; the funny thing I now realize is that he too had lingering affection for her despite everything. I feel he became anti-Korean racist and I don't know where he is now but in retrospect he definitely never crossed a line with her that I know of except for asking questions I would never ask. He called her by her Asian name which was something I never did in those days feeling it pretentious. 'The mysterious maiden of the Moon...' - It's a line from Yi Kwangsu's 'The Soil' in which a married man is comparing his wife with someone else like his former student. In good Korean custom since his former student once had a puppy-crush on him and gave him some corn, when her husband finds out, he kicks her to death in her pregnant stomach and this is why I oppose many things in principle such as tribalism, marriage, and for all intent and purposes the nuclear family. Yi Kwangsu is a problematic figure and as a Christian or aspiring Christian / 'Christianist' I don't recommend it. It has incredibly exquisite descriptions of women that could make you brain-dead. Yi Kwangsu also supposed Japan's occupation of Korea so that to this day talking about Yi Kwangsu can get you crucified. I also seem to recall something like '_ _-ya, you got run over by a train you one-legged prostitute; now you have to love your husband even more.' But I don't remember the context. Ironically or not 'The Soil' is the title of a Knut Hamsun novel the author of which supported Hitler; I do not. I wonder where she is now. This person got shot at a lot and I regret adding to her burdens with my sin-eater-type confessions or just shooting my mouth off when stuff happened. I had a crush on someone else and started saying I was sad I lost my virginity in college; IDK why I said anything. This person also had high alcohol-tolerance - extremely high for a female Asian - and although I could also drink a lot I always did bad self-destructive things. In the Middle Ages one form of 'trial by ordeal' was to reach your hand in to boiling water to pull out a pearl and if the boiled skin healed well you were exonerated or sth. She must be 'somebody's everything; my impossible girl.' IDK why she talked to me and I made fun of her and all my fictionalized versions of her and theories of her were derogations. Like me she played the piano. She once said '_ _ is popular' which was a burn I appreciate since I'm anti-popularity and anti-personality-cults. She went to a school part of which is Victoria College where a literary critic I admire(d) taught for many years. I am stuck in America, hounded by Satan through the personages of my Maoist biological family and 'family tree' of America torn between past and future, un-death and life; due in large part to my excessive tendency to defend myself, to lash out, to wash my hands on the outside without cleaning my 'interior mentality' to paraphrase the 'Da Xue,' or to blaspheme the Spirit in some respects, I feel. I regret talking about her and at the same time why would I talk about lesser maidens? IDK what her favorite piano-piece was as I never endeavored to enage her in discourse about art or aesthetics given she is not a 'kisaeng' or 'geisha' and I am not a museum-curator or whatever. Other people would be like 'Oh! You lke the Grande Valse Brilliante; I know you spent the summer of 2003 teaching yourself repeat-notes.' Everyone wants to drag everyone in to their mud or graves these days. Am reminded of Endo Shusaku's 'Silence' about why Jesuits would apostasize in medieval Japan. His conclusion was that the 'swamp of Japan' was too full of sensualism, the Portuguese Jesuit wanted a Japanese mistress or wife. I once yelled 'swamp f-ggot' at someone due to their tendency to emotionalize and 'contextualize' everything which was an underhanded way of trying to make me change my sex as well. In an effort to mitigate some of the tempting evil pornographic things I said about KR over the years I said a few more but this is a person, whose name means 'Pearl' as in 'the pearl of great price for which oe sold everything else.' It is said that AAPI Twitter, America, house-slave Am-Kor own-goal Korean self-exploitation honor-killing squadsters, etc. want to these people in the trash. I found my Gideon Kor-Eng NT Psalms with the 'victory song' that sounds like Mandarin in its Revelation, that I had worried I'd lost. That might be the 'most grateful' thing that 'happened.' I also remembered what my Mandarin name used to be though I had many in different classes I took. I was going to say many things, but in the end: the mystery of Charity.

I never considered the full implications of socialism or mental socialism till today. I assumed that it was valid mitigation. Some are born rich, some are born poor, it's wrong to let the latter starve on principle alone. I don't even know how to say this. I remember during the Iraq War being struck by how much the government - like my mom - was asking outsiders for advice about how to fight. Dick Cheney got in trouble. Years later I was skeptical of the F-35 because a lot of idiots with no skin in the game wanted to build it here or there. Wisconsin wanted to build the 'Littoral Combat Ship' which who cares. It made people worse and worse. The only thing is, the CCP - who ultimately serve I dare not even say whom, but clearly not the ghosts of Karl Marx or Vladimir Lenin or perhaps even Mao Zedong - figured out awesome killer ways to troll Republicans like Scott Walker w/ their 'FoxConn Fallujah hokey-pokey' whereby they got an avowed capitalist to promise socialists something that actually came from-post-hyper-anti-socialist hyper-capitalists with a plan to kill all white people or something. My father used to talk about the University of Chicago School of Economics all the time and it made me sulkily ask myself why 'Poor Dad' is talking so much about stuff that supposedly makes people billionaires while Jacob's English major dad is Bloomberg's 'chief of staff.' I say again it's just like Biden saying all the right stuff, 'knee on the neck of the American soul, bone of our bone, winter of peril, hey dumbfuck, articulate, they're killing people.' Writing grant-proposals to the government to fund private research in to brain-injury that is itself applied by the government to veterans sent to get brain-damaged by a government that said good things and did retarded things based on their readings of the good things they said a bit like Karenin in 'Anna Karenina.' I remember when George W. Bush said 'I'm the decider.' I once told my dad to get out of my face so he got really sloshed up and vapored, 'I'm in your face!' I'm not even saying that to defame someone but welcome to reality. Every so often every male seems to try to man up then they defend themselves like, 'No that is not the way in which I meant that I was manning up.' You could call this 'self-draft-dodging.' It's ancient history but if I had been wiser I would have tried to predict the future for myself rather than visualize it as an abstract spectatorial notion. At day's end mental socialists can literally not understand why it is wrong to steal. Stealing is compulsory under socialism - I again come back to 'Pearl' since her ex-suitor and I used to reflect on how Korean collectivism drove people into themselves. Similarly mental socialists cannot but hoard 'capabilities' so that in the end they'll falsify anything, steal anything; the only limit I guess is living with themselves.

I keep giving myself to fantasy and coping of all kinds like a 'mental Changrae Lee novel, mental David Guterson novel,' or ultimately Vergil (Virgil). There has to be a new music, a new dream, something, a new city, though it is odd to think about pre-Christian times and a legend of what came before Rome in a Christian moment amid realignment in 'late Roman history.' My favorite YAL book still perhaps is 'The Giver' since it deals with the uses of history, with abortion, and with escape or exile. I was going to say a while back something about 'Light in August' which relates to escape - as well to complacence - and to interracial relationships, pregnancy, the right to live. I was in Minneapolis but mind was on Japan, on all these swords, not the Olympics but histories of swords and strange armor, halberds. There was a huge sword called a 'field sword' in translation. I don't even want to see these people again; I sincerely pray the Japanese Prime Minister, the men and women of their armed forces, Tokyo's apparently amazing counter-terrorism and response capabilities for NBC / WMD / etc. attacks since the Aum Shinrikyo Sarin subway attacks and maybe their counter-nuclear or ability to respond after a nuclear blast will be enough. People in America are trying to live by a little of the old, a little of the new, but it seems utterly impossible. When people abuse me I get really dreamy. I read Virgil in high school; I was thinking of 'post-Covid YAL' or so in which people are just on the run, harrowing themselves, not even nostalgic for Babylon or anything in it. It is almost like 'the meaning of the soul.' I realized that in addition to new churches and new government laws Covid will engender new birth-defects and there will have to be new medicine. Japan is a country that I said bad things about especially when in Korea but she never did anything bad to me - I remember playing 'Final Fantasy' and thinking someone out there loves me; they made an investment in children worldwide. The only thing is I'm too old for such adventures and I fall apart quickly. All these birds in Japan, colors of red - people get obsessed with the Otherness of Japan and want to abnegate Belial-like (a demon or fallen angel of sensualism, to my understanding).

I took so many notes and voice-notes yesterday that I devoutly hope my visions will pass to someone. The future is going to be so beautiful for somebody but I have lost so much faith in my ability to mitigate or restrain evil. Those who I had thought were simply stupid but were diabolically opposed to my existence - whom I did not wish to understand and whom I had 'fancied' I could placate or appease through offerings - turned out to be radically evil, unconditionally evil. I feel that my father (biological) would steal my soul if he could; would eat it in a way. My mom is always sitting on the porch and gives a look of hope like I could change her mind but it'll never happen. I want to kill myself; I think things worldwide will get worse before they get better; I don't trust Biden or anyone who says the right things without showing exactly what they are doing. Christians seem so petty sometimes like melanin, hairy legs, in Japan this therefore that, Native American Indian manhood rituals. I just want to know which pastor has the 'batting average' I can believe in but it has to be John MacArthur doesn't it?

0 notes

disney-she-wrote · 7 years

Text

What is it like to be pregnant with Type 1 Diabetes?

Well.

Its different every single day.

You start your pregnancy at "normal" or whatever your baseline is. Then at 5-6 weeks for some reason i think your body realizes that youre pregnant and you get crazy sugar spikes that wont go down. This causes panic ans anxiety because even if you had great control pre-pregnancy you now have a heart and lungs and a BRAIN developing inside you and OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS HIGH SUGAR IS HURTING THE POOR CELLS THAT ARE MAKING A HEART. From there, you drop your insulin needs for weeks and weeks. This peaks at about 12 weeks where you will just be woken up by alarms every night because your baby is now "plugged in" to your blood stream and taking all of your sugar. This is an amazing accompanyment to the typical fatigue and nausea that comes at this time. Seriously. I hit a whole new level of exhaustion that i didnt know was possible. I hit rock bottom and then found the subbasement. Cuz, hey having a 1 year old and a job and school isnt tiring enough. Oh right. And a husband who travels. So im just... zombie land.

Then, around 20 weeks you hit baseline again. Your diabetes starts acting like "your diabetes". And you can predict how your body will react to insulin. Things feel great. Second trimester is awesome anyway. Baby isnt huge. Yoour body feels ok. It feels like... your body. Your sugar is normalish. Life is manageable again.

Then... surprise! Your placenta kicks in and starts pumping out hormones that stop you from processing sugar. You have to double, triple or quadruple what you need from "baseline". This happens all the way through the end of pregnancy when your needs will level off or start to drop. If you drop really quickly then you should get checked out because it could be an early sign of placental failure. I am currently in that stage but i went througj it with my son. Its like all the sudden you wake up and your blood sugar is on pluto when yesterday you were on venus. You jump up one or two units long acting per week for a while then you need to add like 5 in a day. Insulin to carb ratio is just LOL NICE GUESS. ENJOY YOUR CORRECTIONS.

This whole time you have 2-3x as many drs appointments as a typical non-diabetic pregnant lady. You meet with your endo and your obgyn. You have extra testing and extra screening. I got to go to Childrens hospital for a fetal echocardiogram. I didnt even know they could do that. They looked at a body inside my body and looked at her heart and all the chambers and vessels and measured blood flow in them. Its fucking magic.

And everyone terrifies you. If a typical pregnancy has drs appts every 4 weeks, i have them every 2 weeks. Then weekly then 3-4x per week at the end. And every time there is a possibility they tell me to stop my pregnancy. Or to go on bedrest. Or the baby is no longer viable. Every time.

That is a whole fuckton of stress. I remember my coworker was having a baby right before me with my son and she was worried about her baby having a birthmark. I was worried that my placenta was giving up and my son would not make it.

So while most women are thinking "oh i hope i dont gain too much weight", diabetic women are thinking "man, i hope that toast didnt cause any birth defects because it spiked my sugar" and when their doctors warn them that "your child could have a prominent birthmark" my drs keep saying "your child could die if you arent perfect in your habits" . And everything will be blamed on my diabetes. Everything. If there is one thing wrong with my child they will shrug and say "diabetic mother". Even though my a1c is 4.9. Even though my control has been good. It hasnt been perfect. I cant be perfect because i cant predict myself right now. I love my son and i love the baby growing inside me right now. But being a pregnant diabetic is hard and it is stressful. And drs do not help ease that stress.

I will not be covering postpartum blood sugars in this post because that is a whole extra wild ride. Theory is you go back to normal after birth but ha! Arent you nursing? Haven't you slept at all in 3 weeks? No. Enjoy whatever your body decides to do to compensate.

#actually diabetic #pregnancy #diabetic pregnancy #diabetic problems

7 notes · View notes

lipwak · 6 years

Text

VHS #372

Nanci Griffith - Winter Marquee, Genesis – Live at the Lyceum, Asleep at the Wheel - Live at Billy Bob's, Montreux Jazz Fest: Reggae night, Jammin’ Night, Marianne Faithfull and Van Morrison, Tom Jones – South Bank Show, Algeria In A Smile – Souad Massi

***

Nanci Griffith – Winter Marquee Live in Knoxville, TN 1hr, s duplicate? 8/17 Trio, w/ commercials

Listen To The Radio (https://youtu.be/rCpkCwBqcko) Audio only Two For The Road (https://youtu.be/N7wioNZtOHQ) Not this clip. There's A Light Beyond These Woods (Mary Margaret) (https://youtu.be/lTIuQBFwlX0) Not this clip. Gulf Coast Highway (https://youtu.be/DUqLleoZxtM) Not this clip. The Flyer (https://youtu.be/p44ybweWFlo) Not this clip. Emmylou Harris joins them, Good Night, New York (https://youtu.be/iyhG4cW627c) Not this clip. Last Train Home (https://youtu.be/1zdwMTP1J4Y) Audio only Traveling Through This Part Of You (https://youtu.be/3iMinfsKjzY) Not this clip. I'm Not Drivin' These Wheels (Bring The Prose To The Wheel) (https://youtu.be/SKdlXZACcA0) Not this clip. What's That I Hear (https://youtu.be/TenB7wXyPvo) audio only White Freight Liner (https://youtu.be/lIy5UYTCJio) audio only

***

Genesis – Live at the Lyceum 1980 missed first 10 minutes, s Trio

See the whole thing here: https://youtu.be/4ZnP6eq9kcM 2 & 1/2 hrs

Duchess Guide Vocal In the Cage Afterglow! Dance On a Volcano! drum solo - two kits familiar

Behind the Lines? Los Endos?

***

Asleep at the Wheel - Live at Billy Bob's 1 hr, s Trio

See or hear it all here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_n8DuGF42zNwUv5tYSAHTHwCVUygBCgunw (Songs not marked “this clip” below are audio only on the above link. Not all of them played.)

Miles And Miles of Texas (https://youtu.be/QGLtxriizg4) This clip. Get Your Kicks On Route 66 (https://youtu.be/OMWLl4KcELI) This clip One Six Pack To Go Hang Up My Spurs And Saddle Don't Fence Me In Before The Next Teardrop Falls Amarillo By Morning Take Me Back To Tulsa If I Needed You Boogie Back To Texas (https://youtu.be/EmfY8OKXjlM) This clip. Cotton Eyed Joe (https://youtu.be/LmtyncUsgSM) This clip Big Balls In Cowtown

(these skipped) Dance With Who Brung Ya Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens You're From Texas

***

Montreux Jazz Fest, Reggae night 7/16/97

Ernest Ranglin – None Shall Escape The Judgement (https://youtu.be/d11OU6YlvBE) Not this clip. Sounds like my favorite tune on my rhythm cassette - Jonathan Richman - Egyptian Reggae. - Below The Bassline (https://youtu.be/PcMx7o2_L7I) Not this clip.

Jazz Jamaica! - Cantaloupe Island (https://youtu.be/ry-3uOGBm_o) Not this clip. - Confucious (https://youtu.be/fxk-PmKWRt8) Not this clip.

ziggy marley! - Born To Be Lively (https://youtu.be/CYzVE6LASo0) Not this clip. - Could You Be Loved (https://youtu.be/rwbV5ZVR3JQ) Not this clip. - Look Who’s Dancing (https://youtu.be/IYSeuddZjBE) Not this clip but same backup singers. Kids onstage and they get to join in the song.

***

Montreux Jazz Fest, Jammin’ Night 7/13/96 missed ~6 of intro

? - Message In A Bottle

Shaggy - Something Different (https://youtu.be/VDlC4Mgvx0I) Not this clip. - medley: O Carolina/The River of Babylon (https://youtu.be/iGZgU37cTuA) Not this clip. - Boombastic (https://youtu.be/qhjVaNHGM1E) Not this clip.

Toots and The Maytals 7/7/96 Andy!

- Spend The Weekend (https://youtu.be/A5cvsBqAnLQ) Not this clip. - Irie (https://youtu.be/4j38jzOEuJw) Not this clip. - Funky Kingston (https://youtu.be/8oOtz6mE7sM) Not this clip.

***

Montreux Jazz Fest, rock and more 7/10/95 excerpts, 1/2 hr, s

Marianne Faithfull! – Broken English (https://www.montreuxjazz.com/live-selection-marianne-faithfull-broken-english-10-july-1995) This clip! -Losing (https://www.montreuxjazz.com/live-selection-marianne-faithfull-losing-10-july-1995) This clip!

Van Morrison! (all clips from this broadcast on Trio) – Stormy Monday/Jelly Jelly Jelly/GF - Baby What You Want Me To Do/Runnin’ and Hidin’ Blues (https://youtu.be/6APDz6Dv8wg) This clip! - Ain’t That Lovin' You, Babe (https://youtu.be/W9KIb1Od-M8) This clip! - Tupelo Honey/Why Must I Always Explain? (https://youtu.be/EO84Ur5-SZs) This clip.

***

Tom Jones – Music Icons and Idols South Bank Show 12/24/00, Show #552, 24-12 (season 24, show 12) 48:55

Green Green Grass of Home, his home in Wales, Pontypridd, interview, Mark Woodward, his son, Give Me One Reason, he started singing young, would stand on the table to sing, Frankie Lane Show - Cool Cool Water, This is Tom Jones, Paul Gambaccini, Big Bill Broonzy, Crapped Out Again, had TB, Help Yourself, married young and is still with her, Wood Road Club, I Believe, Great Balls of Fire, Gordon Mills, Tom Jones and The Senators, It’s Not Unusual, knew it was a hit, New Musical Express, Jones The Song, show his dick in his pants, What’s New Pussycat?, red Jaguar was the first car he owned, Sometimes We Cry, Elvis, Walking In Memphis, Las Vegas, panties, You Can Leave Your Hat On, Reload album, Baby, It’s Cold Outside, Sex Bomb, his wife doesn’t go to his shows, Mama Told Me Not To Come (https://youtu.be/g0njs6iiwjY) this clip, Delilah, vocal ability and passion keep him going at a high level, It’s Not Unusual.

***

Algeria In A Smile – Souad Massi 2003 (missed beginning), ~18 min?

http://www.wrasserecords.com/Souad_Massi_14/Deb_plus_DVD_Algeria_In_A_Smile_119.html

… decided to stay in France, (same footage as in Beb El Mahdi video https://youtu.be/xuzV2W9IaOM), in the studio, gtr player talks about her, Yemma, being a Muslim after 9/11, ...

Beb El Mahdi (https://youtu.be/xuzV2W9IaOM) This clip.

0 notes

type2diabetestreatments-blog · 8 years

Text

2011: The Diabetes Year in Review

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/2011-the-diabetes-year-in-review/

2011: The Diabetes Year in Review

The New Year is just around the corner, so as per tradition, we're reviewing all the things that have made 2011 a year to remember in the diabetes world and here at the 'Mine.

We've had some big moments in technology as the FDA finally approved some progressive stuff. There were some amazing times with our blogging compatriots IRL (that's Internet-speak for "in real life"). And there were some milestones of us both professionally and personally.

Here's a look at what we think stands out in 2011:

JANUARY

We rang in the New Year with some really big news from our side: DiabetesMine became part of the Alliance Health Networks family. I took on the new role of Vice President of Patient Advocacy as well as Editor-in-Chief of DiabetesMine. Allison officially joined the staff of the 'Mine as Assistant Editor.

Fresh from the adventure of a lifetime, Amazing Race winner Nat Strand chatted with us about what it takes to travel around the world with diabetes!

I also discussed the nitty-gritty of inhaled insulin with Dance Pharmaceuticals CEO, John Patton. He's a veteran of the failed Exubera team, and is on a mission to revive this product category.

We launched our series on diabetes complications with a look at diabetic retinopathy (no pun intended!). We've since followed up with 411's on heart disease, gum disease, neuropathy, gastroparesis, depression and even frozen shoulder. Not to bum you all out, but this stuff is important for us PWDs to know.

FEBRUARY

Allison covered the JDRF Research Summit in Washington, D.C., where updates on the artificial pancreas, the immune system, and prevention of diabetes were discussed. Allison also interviewed Dr. Ed Damiano about the Artificial Pancreas Project.

JDRF CEO Jeffrey Brewer publicly discussed the organization's new direction, setting off a firestorm of controversy. Some folks were very upset that JDRF is no longer focused solely on cure research, but we happen to applaud the work they're doing in developing technologies that can help patients live better now. Allison shared her personal feelings and struggles in hoping for a cure.

We were very excited to share an inspiring guest post from a U.S. Marine who refused to give up his dream of serving his country when he was diagnosed with diabetes.

Dr. Denise Faustman, one of the most controversial yet admired researchers, sat down for a video chat with us about the latest developments in her innovative research to cure diabetes. She also gave us a tour of her laboratory.

MARCH

We kicked off the 2011 DiabetesMine Design Challenge, our annual online competition to encourage creative new tools for improving life with diabetes.

Speaking of innovation, Allison took us on a behind-the-scenes tour of an artificial pancreas clinical trial at Massachusetts General Hospital, led by co-investigator Dr. Ed Damiano.

Allison also traveled to Washington, D.C., with a delegation of bloggers for JDRF's Government Day to talk about social media with the JDRF grassroots advocacy leaders from around the country, meet with Members of Congress on the Hill, and have a briefing with Jeffrey Brewer. Very cool!

At the 'Mine, we launched our new Weekend Edition, now featuring a wonderful roster of cartoonists and a very quirky, useful and fun advice column from D-author and community educator, Wil Dubois. We love you, Wil!

APRIL

Allison and I traveled to Los Angeles to take part in the first-ever Medtronic Diabetes Advocates Forum, where we discussed our thoughts on social media and patient community needs, and also learned about some new Medtronic offerings (like the MyMedtronic Connect iPhone app), and toured the facilities where they produce the Medtronic CGM sensors. That last bit was pretty eye-opening.

We also investigated some interesting rumors we'd heard in LA about progressive products currently only available in Europe: the Medtronic Enlite sensors and the Animas Vibe insulin pump.

In the midst of our Design Challenge, we took a look at one company burgeoning forward to bring innovation to the diabetes market: CellNovo. CEO Bill McKeon discussed their sleek new insulin pump inspired by the iPhone.

MAY

I flew to Las Vegas for a keynote speech to Sanofi Aventis' A1c Champions national meeting, where I was able to give these motivational speakers a pep talk about the Diabetes Online Community! What a great group of grassroots advocates the Champions are.

DiabetesSisters' semi-annual Weekend for Women conference took place in Raleigh, NC, and Allison had the opportunity to attend. She shared the stories of several "sisters" who found inspiration and hope just by spending some time with other women with diabetes.

We participated in Karen Graffeo's Diabetes Blog Week, where we shared what we admire about the DOC's diversity, a heartfelt letter to a former endocrinologist, and 10 things we hate about diabetes.

JDRF announced a partnership with Amylin to study the combination of insulin and symlin, something we're sure folks who dislike multiple daily injections (and who doesn't?) will appreciate if they can get the formulation to work!

JDRF's NYC Chapter hosted an evening with Dr. Sanjoy Dutta, the Director of Glucose Control Therapies at JDRF. He discussed JDRF's Insulin Initiative, a program to investigate how to make insulin work faster and better, which will help blood sugar control in the long run, of course.

D-Mom and super advocate Moira McCarthy Stanford wrote a touching guest post about dealing with her teen daughter's rebellion against diabetes and her advice on how other parents can avoid the same heartache. This post was quite controversial, with 59 comments to date.

JUNE

We were thrilled to announce the winners of the 2011 DiabetesMine Design Challenge. What an honor to be able to share the amazing talent we found through the process!

Nevermind taking the summer off: June marked the beginning of our conference-circuit tour. We were excited to reunite with our friends for the third annual Roche Diabetes Social Media Summit.

That was followed immediately by the annual American Diabetes Association's Scientific Sessions. This HUGE annual conference was a little light on breakthrough products this year, mainly because so much was backed up awaiting FDA approval. Grrr... But there were still a few juicy announcements, including research showing increased life expectancy for PWDs, new advances in the Artificial Pancreas Project, and a CGM trial in kids and teens.

We were honored to feature the story of Bob Krause, the longest-living person with diabetes! Bob has had diabetes for 85 years and is doing great. We were also delighted to meet Bob in person in San Diego at a Joslin reception at the ADA Scientific Sessions:

Plus, we both stepped in front of a Flip camera to take part in Kim Vlasnik's You Can Do This! project. Allison and I each made our own homemade video contribution.

JULY

July was a big month for Allison... she got married!

And while she was on her honeymoon and I took my annual family trip to Germany, we had some absolutely amazing folks stop by to offer guest posts:

Diabetes attorney Kris Halpern shared what you need to know about discrimination in the workplace

Author Amy Stockwell Mercer gave us her insights in what it's like to be a smart woman with diabetes

Blogger Sysy Morales listed 10 things men need to know about women with diabetes

We also published three interviews with some key leaders in the diabetes community:

IDF execs Drs. Jean-Claude Mbanya and Martin Silink shared their thoughts on the international diabetes community and the Life for a Child program

Famous endo Dr. Lois Jovanovic gave women with diabetes some useful tips on how to stay healthy before, during, and after a pregnancy

AUGUST

We hit Las Vegas for the American Association of Diabetes Educator's Annual Conference, where David Edelman, Manny Hernandez, Hope Warshaw and I spoke to a packed room of diabetes educators about the power of the DOC! Talk about your advocacy opportunities — woohoo!

Later at the AADE conference, got the inside scoop on what educators are saying about their patients, and we got a closer look at the new Spring Universal infusion set.

Scandal rocked the DOC with the discovery the insulin pumps could be hacked! Not only that, but the man who discovered this is a pump-wearing PWD himself, who began some some tenuous back-and-forth between himself and the pump manufacturer, later revealed to be Medtronic Diabetes. Although Medtronic claims they are investigating the issue, the hacker wasn't convinced they took the issue seriously. Months later, articles on insulin pump hacking are still cropping up in the news...

SEPTEMBER

We started September with the second annual Diabetes Art Day, the brainchild of art therapist and activist Lee Ann Thill, who helped us work out some of our diabetes frustrations in the form of creative expression.

September was a BIG month for us at the 'Mine, as we hosted our first-ever DiabetesMine Innovation Summit, bringing together in one room pharma product experts, entrepreneurs, designers, VCs, empowered patients and our contest winners. The resulting interactions were nothing short of revolutionary!

Then diabetes innovation came knocking on front door in the form of a test drive of the new iBGStar glucose meter, which plugs directly into an iPhone or iTouch.

But progress still floundered as the FDA continued to grapple with how to make the Medtronic VEO — a product already available in 40 other countries — available in the U.S. with its powerful low-glucose suspend feature. Geez, in the very short-term, too much insulin is far riskier than not enough!

The history-making UN Summit on Noncommunicable Diseases took place, along with a rally in Central Park. But not without quite a bit of headache before and not nearly enough commitment during and after, at least according to the folks who attended. Ann Keeling, CEO of the International Diabetes Federation, gave us her feedback on the outcomes of the Summit.

We also checked out MyGlu.org, from the Helmsley Charitable Trust, a new social network and counterpart to the new type 1 diabetes national registry they are building. Great, great things are in the works there.

OCTOBER

In October, Allison traveled to Kansas City, MO, for one of the biggest (and possibly best?) diabetes meet-ups ever! Simon, a PWD from Australia, traveled half way across the world for a "North American tour" that covered Los Angeles, Kansas City, and New York City. In case you're bummed that you missed out, we hear he's coming back in 2012 for CWD's Friends for Life conference in July!

Brilliant minds in diabetes research convened in San Diego for TEDxDelMar, the first-ever satellite TED conference focusing on the search for a cure.

Mid-October brought us LADA Awareness Week, a campaign dedicated to raising awareness about a form of type 1 diabetes diagnosed in adults. Close to my heart, this is! The proper definition of LADA is a little difficult to pin down, so I queried some top experts to see what they think.

We took a look at some of the many new diabetes iPhone apps, including the new Glooko app, which allows you to upload your blood sugar readings to your phone using a simple USB cable for easy logging.

Getting a handle on blood sugars was a top priority for Allison, who shared her thoughts and concerns on pregnancy and diabetes (it's all about planning, right?).

NOVEMBER

November is a HUGE month for the diabetes community... but it still goes relatively unnoticed by most of the world. In hopes of changing that, we launched our own Unite Behind the Blue Circle Campaign. Our petition for ADA, JDRF, and AADE to more prominently use the Blue Circle to unite the diabetes community garnered over 3,000 signatures!

JDRF also rang in November with the launch of their T1 Day and a shocking newspaper ad in The New York Times and The Washington Post stating that 1 in 20 people with diabetes will die from a low blood sugar. They're not the only national advocacy org using stats to scare up support, and Jeffrey Brewer stands behind the move.

We also participated in the 7th annual DBlog Day, this year breaking out the glue and scissors to create a commemorative scrapbook page.

November 14 was the fifth annual UN-recognized World Diabetes Day and we celebrated here at the 'Mine by taking a look at the previous 5 years of World Diabetes Day. We've come a long way, Baby.

Allison was on hand in NYC with her video camera ready to welcome members of Team Type 1 after they ran across the country. Not kidding!

Big diabetes technology news broke when the FDA approved Tandem's new sleek t:slim insulin pump, with an iPhone-like design. Suddenly, the FDA seemed on a roll — as they also approved the iGlucose, a device that wireless transmits blood sugars to a management system, and Medtronic Minimed's iPro CGM, a new continuous monitor that doctors can lend out to patients.

Nevertheless, we still have issues with progress at the FDA, and I hoped to gain some insight at a JDRF breakfast on FDA reform held in Silicon Valley. Thumbs sideways.

We closed out the month with two exciting giveaways:

We interviewed PWD chef hottie Sam Talbot and gave away a copy of his new cookbook, The Sweet Life.

We honored all our vocal readers with our 20,000 Voices Giveaway, to mark our 20,000th comment here at the 'Mine and all the wonderful folks out there who make our work worthwhile!

DECEMBER

The FDA came through in a big way with the approval of the iBGStar glucose meter, the first and only meter that directly plugs into an iPhone! This bodes well for integration of health / medical devices with consumer technology across the board.

The FDA also released its guidance on the Artificial Pancreas, and JDRF seemed pleased with what they saw initially; we're still waiting to see how it all plays out.

Lifescan also released their OneTouch Verio glucose meter (in Canada), the first-ever meter than can alert you to trends. We got some great user feedback.

I was very happy to be featured in the new anthology, My Sweet Life, a new book of essays from two dozen women living successfully with diabetes. Shout-out to author Dr. Bev!

Allison's husband chimed in with his thoughts on being the life partner of a PWD. He's a keeper, I tell you!

I chatted with Jenny Mackenzie, the successful filmmaker behind SUGAR BABIES, a new educational documentary about four families living with diabetes.

FOR 2012:

Well... we're crossing our fingers (and toes!) that the events in November and December bode well for more great new tools to pass through FDA in the new year. We also have more fun things up our sleeves here at the 'Mine, as we hope to make 2012 bigger and better than ever.

As always, your input is more than welcome.

Happy New Year, Folks!

Yours,

Amy + Allison

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

0 notes

writing-the-end · 4 years

Text

WS Chapter 59- Call the Shots

Previous Chapter

Masterpost

The Dawn of the final week- only 7 days remain until the epilogue of Wandering Stars is posted. All of it is coming together, but the best is still yet to come! Keep a sharp eye for the final chapter- 60: Wandering Stars- and the epilogue to have the entire story. Especially the epilogue!

Red belongs to @theguardiansofredland

Ecto belongs to @cooler-cactus-block

Selene belongs to @to-dem-stars

(Mentioned) Storm belongs to @stormjay0

“There she is.” Avon whispers, pointing to the center of the army. Nova guided them back to the battlefield, where they found the overlanders holding just fine without the wanderers. They retreated back a hill, and they can see cannon fire and arrows shot from the ground they hold. The very trap that Red watched Tango test on Impulse is open- used. He looks down, pulling out Fred from his pocket.

They haven’t lost anyone yet, and Red isn’t planning on losing anyone now. Nova is trying to get some soldiers to turn away, using that silver tongue of hers. But until the wanderers take out the head, take out Endo, there will be no peace. There will be no balance.

“How will we get to her when she’s in the middle of the whole army?” Avon questions. She bites her lip, seeing Storm take a hit to her black feathered wings. She only breathes out when Storm retreats to have her wounds tended to, to regain health and strength in the safety of the camp.

“Maybe I can help?” At this point, Ecto and Avon are used to Selene just appearing behind them. “I can isolate her, teleport her somewhere for you all to deal with her.”

“I thought you can’t teleport unwilling people?” Red questions.

“I don’t like to, no, but I can. It’s unsafe, and where exactly we land may not be right, but it’ll get the job done. I can go down, grab Endo, and bring her back here. Where you three can do whatever you need to.” Selene shrugs, taking Red’s hand.

“Isn’t there anything else we can do?” Red asks. He’s afraid of Selene teleporting right into the middle of the enemy. Grabbing their commander.

“Unless you guys have a better idea, I’m going.” Selene waits a second, then blinks out of existence. The next time the trio sees her, Selene is wrapping her arm around Endo’s throat. Ignoring the burning of the lavalike hair, and teleporting away.

“Where is she? Can you see them?” Red questions, looking around as seconds stretch into minutes. Selene never takes that long to get from A to B. She should be right here.

Ecto looks around, eyes flitting across the treeline, over the plains, past the desert. “There she is! On the beach!”

Red stands, spying his girlfriend. She’s in a fierce fight, teleporting around. Every swing that Endo takes at her, she disappears. Reappearing behind her and jabbing the hellspawn in the knee, or the throat. But she’s tiring quickly. And in one moment, Endo fakes her out. She swings, but turns around. Grabbing Selene by the hair and throwing her across the sand. Red screams, seeing Selene wince.

Red rips free of Ecto and Avon, running across the plains as fast as she can. Faster than Avon can fly, when aided by the streams of water at her feet. Racing towards her love. She reels her fist back, jumping and landing a blow that sends Endo flying across the sand. The water rolls off Red’s run, dipping into the sea.

He stands between Selene, wincing as she sits up on her elbows. His feet spread, strong and steady in the sand, fists clenched and jaw set. Looking over the rim of his glasses to Endo. “You messed with the wrong sorceress.”

Avon and Ecto reach the beach in time to see the fight. Red’s strikes against Endo are fierce, ignoring the burning sensation each blow deals his knuckles. Forcing Endo to retreat. Red kicks Endo down, turning back to his girlfriend. “Selene, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Endo should’ve known she was in for a walloping.” Selene laughs, closing her eyes as she feels the soothing touch of Red’s hands.

“Red, watch out!” Ecto cries, causing Selene to look behind Red. And see the flaming arrow knocked into Endo’s bow, drawn back and aimed down the sights.

Loosed directly towards Red’s turned back. Selene and the other wanderers watch as the arrow bends and folds across the air, the blazing arrowhead sputtering and twisting towards it’s target, red flame reflecting in the ocean waves that gently lap on the beach.

In a time that no one, not even Avon or Jessie can respond, Selene does. She rips Red out of her grasp, shoving the kipling into the sand. Teleporting forward, grabbing the arrow and redirecting it’s route before snapping back out of this dimension. All in a matter of milliseconds.

When Selene reappears, her fingers are dug into Endo’s arms. The dangerous snarl of a sorcerer beyond anger glows bright in Selene’s eyes. “You’re going to regret that, bowl-cut.”

The two disappear. Red sits up, eyes darting across the ground. Looking for Selene. Finally, she reappears with Endo. Dozens of meters in the air, suspended high above the ocean. “She missed!”

But Selene is faster than that. Nearly losing her lover gave Selene energy to teleport again, and she kicks free of the struggling Endo and teleports. Ricocheting into the sand, weak but alive.

And Endo plummets into the sea. Ecto and Avon run to Selene, digging sand out from around her ears and hair. But Red’s eyes are on the sea. “She’s going to die out there. Hellspawns react to water like we do lava.”

“Who cares?” Avon spits. “She’s gone.”

“Go get her, Red.” Selene coughs, smiling weakly. “You’re pretty good at rescuing people from nearly drowning.” The sorceress offers a wink, before passing out.

Ecto and Avon look to Red, waiting to see his decision. Ecto opens her mouth, dry from so much fighting. “What are you going to do? Even if you manage to save Endo, she could still kill you.”

Red bites his lip, then turns to the sea. His home, his realm. “When Selene wakes up, tell her I wasn’t scared.”

The kipling dives into the water, the sound of the battle on land disappearing with the air. The water is quiet, calm compared to the war above. There’s no bloodshed, no near death experiences. Red forces the fear of the hermits, of their newfound friends being hurt or killed, out of his mind. He just focuses on swimming. Following the stony form as it sinks into the sea. Endo’s hair has cooled into stone, flat and cobbled, and her body is cracking and flaking as the water invades and freezes her up.

Red reaches out, scaled hand grasping for Endo’s limp form. A bubble floats free from Red’s lips as he growls, black and orange locks floating around him like kelp in the current. “I’m not letting you drown!”

His hand reaches out, and grabs Endo’s cold wrist. Blackened like obsidian, and just as cold. Touching Endo doesn’t burn like it did before, when he punched her. As soon as Red has a firm grip on the commander’s wrist, he shoots to the surface. Swimming as fast as possible, leaving behind a trailing jet of bubbles when he breaches into open air. Droplets of water combine into a stream, Red keeps a tight hold of his enemy as his magic gently drops him onto the sand.

Endo is still, but Red watches as cracks form in the stony outer shell of the hellspawn. Slowly, fire begins to spread across her body, until all that’s left still turned to rock is her spire-like horns. Endo looks up, gazing to see who saved her.

And she’s pissed to see Red.

Endo sits up, growling and retreating from Red. But her eyes speak of disbelief. “I am destruction, you are life! Fire and water! We are enemies! Why do you save me?” Endo shouts, hand striking against the sand beneath her. She was inches from death, the molten core of her being nearly extinguished. Had it not been for Red, she would have died.

“Because we need each other. To balance each other. And you aren’t all death. Do you know what happens when fire and water meet?” Red questions, wringing out his hair. He tries to ignore the sound of battle beyond him, focusing instead on this one.

“One is always destroyed.” Endo sits up, reaching for her weapon. But her axe was left at the bottom of the sea. She’s vulnerable- she should be dead. If their places were switched, Red would have been killed by now.

“But they make something new. They make cobblestone and obsidian. New land, space for new life. Entire islands can grow from lava and water. We rely on each other to build this world. We balance each other. Overworld and Nether.” Red offers out his hand, open and calm. A gentle smile. “We aren’t enemies.”

Endo stares at Red, turning to see the other wanderers. Her shoulders slump when she sees Nova standing there as well, whispering something into Avon’s ear. She turns, looking back at Red. He kneels down. “Come Endo, make the smart choice. End it all here. Call it off.”

“Make something new…” Endo whispers, reaching out. Taking Red’s hand and standing. Nova offers her a wide smile, the sharp look always in her eyes easing off. “The battle. I need to call off my army. The need to stop their destruction!”

“That’s… kinda the issue.” Ecto states. “Nova has been working on it, and she got a lot of the hellspawns to give up. But a few aren’t listening, and one retreated into the nether to get more supplies. Avon went after him.”

“But surely you can tell them to stop, right? Get the message?” Red looks to Endo, the hellspawn still dizzy from being underwater.

“I can tell the ones here to stop, I’m their commanding officer.” Endo nods to Nova, who sprints away towards the distant battle. To call it off. To spare any more lives from being destroyed. “But who went back into the nether? I can’t message across dimensions.”

“Blu. And Avon went after him” Red and Ecto turn, to where the nether first arrived. Red clutches his totem of undying. They have to go after them.

#wandering stars #ws #ecto #avon #red #selene #minecraft #mineblr #minesona #mcsona #minecraft persona #writing

12 notes · View notes

type2diabetestreatments-blog · 8 years

Text

Tom Brobson: My Experience in the Artificial Pancreas Clinical Trials

New Post has been published on http://type2diabetestreatment.net/diabetes-mellitus/tom-brobson-my-experience-in-the-artificial-pancreas-clinical-trials/

Tom Brobson: My Experience in the Artificial Pancreas Clinical Trials

The Artificial Pancreas has the potential to become a huge leap forward in diabetes care. As anxious as all of us are to push the boundaries in diabetes technology, we can't forget the importance of clinical trials; nothing will move forward without real patients ready and willing to strap on the gear and let researchers observe them for hours on end, most of the time in a clinical setting.

That might not seem like the most appealing prospect, but Tom Brobson, a 52-year-old PWD from Virginia who was diagnosed 8 years ago, was up for the challenge. He's been participating in diabetes clinical trials for the past five years. Specifically, he was a subject in studies for the Artificial Pancreas Project at the University of Virginia in 2007 and 2009. Plus, he's participated in other research, like a study on insulin kinetics last September.

Tom joined the staff of JDRF as Director of Major Donor Relations in 2005 — after just one year of adjusting to his new life with diabetes. But his interest in health, science and technology started long before his diagnosis. Previously, he worked for 16 years at his alma mater, Virginia Tech, in development work for the university's science and applied science programs, and he also worked for the Office of the Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services as a policy analyst.

Each research center typically has its own approach to research trials, so Tom took some time to discuss his experience with us: how they do things at UVA, what a "hybrid-control" model for the APP looks like, and what it feels like to abdicate total control over your diabetes to a machine.

"It was a life-changing moment, because you find yourself realizing that you don't need to think about your diabetes.'"

— Tom Brobson, on being part of the Artificial Pancreas clinical trial

DM) How did you get involved with the Artificial Pancreas trial?

TB) My endocrinologist, Stacey Anderson, is one of the researchers for the clinical trial at the University of Virginia. I was at a JDRF research symposium in 2007, right when decisions at FDA were going on about moving forward with the first round of trials. Stacey pulled me aside and said, "You should do this trial." And I said, "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense." I was already her patient and had the necessary paperwork done. They were trying to do a quick enrollment.

Were you nervous at all about starting the clinical trial?

Not particularly. I had a moment of hesitation, but that was more associated with the fact that I work hard to be a tightly controlled diabetic. I was curious if the artificial pancreas could do what I was doing for myself.

You've taken part in two APP trials so far. What was your first experience like?

The way the protocol was designed, there is a "control period," as well as a time when you wear the system and it takes over and runs things for you. Each time I've done this, it has been slightly different in what was being tested.

The first time, the clinical trial was a full-control, fully closed-loop system. I went in for the control time, where all the devices are put on you. Two sensors plus the insulin pump, but you're actually managing things yourself. In fact, you're blind to the data feed from the sensors. It felt a little bit like I'd taken a step backwards, because I couldn't rely on sensors. I was testing my blood sugar and looking at the meal, and guess-timating on what to bolus.

When the engineer told me, "We got you. The system is running the show," there was moment of "Wow. What does that mean?" I always feel like there is a subroutine running in the back of my mind: do I need to eat more, how're my blood sugars? It's the first thing I do in the morning, and the last thing I do in at night. It was a life-changing moment, because you find yourself realizing that you don't need to think about your diabetes. There's usually never a moment of the day that I don't think about my diabetes.

After a couple of hours, I was just eating and living and thinking, the system really does have me. I was allowed to see the data-feed of blood sugars, but I didn't need to do anything with it. That was pretty mind-blowing and pretty emotional for me.

Did anything interesting or unexpected happen while you were hooked up to the system?

Later in the evening, at about 11pm, my endo and the engineers were talking to each other and clearly having a confab over something. I was like, "What's up?" Apparently the system wanted to suspend all insulin. The way the algorithm works at UVA is that it dials the basal all the way down, and then uses small boluses to keep you "in the zone." In my case, the system was looking at the data, and it didn't think I needed any basal or boluses. I asked, "So what are we going to do about that?" Like I had any say in the matter. My endo said, "That's the whole point of the system, so we're going to do that. For right now, we're going to let it do what it's supposed to do." For the next hour or so, I was waiting for something to happen — waiting for the computer to make a new decision or the blood sugar to change or the doctor override the system. And after an hour, my BG was perfectly fine and I was perfectly steady. At this point, it's after midnight, and I found my energy going up over the excitement over the reality that the system was working and working well. I started texting and telling people that this is awesome!

Finally the doctor said that I needed to go to sleep so they could view the dawn phenomenon.

So I said OK and I shut everything down and rolled over and went to sleep. When I woke up, just before 6 am, I looked at my doctor and asked what happened. My endo said the microboluses started again right when the dawn phenomenon began in the morning. I had started drifting up and it kindly and gently brought me back down. I had really good control in the overnight.

What was your experience in the second clinical trial like? Had anything changed?

For the second trial, it was a hybrid-control clinical trial, but the system was capable. This trial also tested exercise, whereas the first one was just about eating. The second time, we used DexCom sensors and the OmniPod pump. All the equipment was put into a fanny pack so I became far more mobile. You could already begin to see an evolution toward making a system that's easy to use.

In this clinical trial, they had you eat just a salad at 11 a.m. Then you didn't do anything more until 4pm, when you had to get on an exercise bike and exercise for 30 minutes. Then you get off and you don't eat dinner until 7pm. It purposefully attempted to trigger a low blood sugar. When I ran the show myself, I went low almost immediately after getting on the bike. When the system ran the show, I went 5, 10, 20 minutes, and the system was fine. They were pulling the blood from me using an IV while exercising and I was fine. But right at the 26th minute, I nicked the threshold. Instead of dropping like a rock, I was just shallowly falling. The safety protocols and the brains of this system had started dialing back in anticipation of a low long before I would have, and almost succeeded in pulling it off.

What exactly does "hybrid-control" mean?

The control-to-range hybrid system is a combination of you and the system. It literally says OK, I'm going to keep you under 200 mg/dl automatically, but if you are under 200 mg/dl, I'm going to default back to your settings. I'm going to do my best to help you avoid going below 100 mg/dl. If you are below that target, I'll alert you to that. There's a lot of reasons for that path, mainly so that people can have confidence in the system. The person will still have a significant role.

Last September, I was in an insulin kinetics evaluation for the algorithm for the Artificial Pancreas Project, and I got to hold and play with the cell phone platform that is now being used in clinical trials in Italy and France as the next step in this technology. I see this as a very clear migration from being clunky to being put in a fanny pack to the user interface on a cell phone. I didn't want to give it back!

This system looks like it's color-coded.

If the device shifts to yellow, algorithm is projecting that you will have a blood sugar that you don't want in the next 45 minutes. If it goes to red, the safety system is coming on. The system is saying, "I've done everything I can do to prevent you going low, so you need to do something."

Parts of the time it's asking you to be involved, and parts of the time it's doing things automatically. If your blood sugar goes high, it will go from yellow to red, suggest a 3.15 unit bolus, and then ask "Yes or No?" It's giving you a chance to be part of the process. But if I know I'm going to exercise, I can ignore it. If you don't do anything, the system kicks in and delivers the bolus and manages you back into range.

How trusting are you of this technology?

This is an interesting question. Am I comfortable turning things over? Yeah, and I can't wait to do it. I already turn my care over to a machine on some level. I'm trusting the pump to do what it does. If my Omnipod becomes occluded, then it's going to alarm and I can put a new one on, or it'll deactivate itself. This system is the same thing. It's a machine, it's technology. If something doesn't work properly, I'll notice it or the system will identify it for me. I can intervene and do what I need to do. The particular advantage is that this is a smart system. If you've got a problem, like impaired delivery, it can flag things far sooner than I'd ever notice. You're adding some brains to the system.

Am I worried it will make a mistake and deliver too much insulin? Not at all. Because of the safety failure protocol, the system has done more to help me avoid lows than I do for myself. Clearly a massive step forward over shat we have today. In the first clinical trial, during the control section, when I ran the show, I had hypoglycemia six times and I had hyperglycemia once. When the system ran the show, I went low only once and I went high only once, and the high was comparable to my own high. It was a post-prandial spike just after breakfast.

You have a lot of good things to say about the Artificial Pancreas. Is there anything you don't like about it?

I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital and experience the real world conditions! I guess all this is with the realization that we have type 1 diabetes, there are times I get tired of wearing a pump, so I suppose at some point that would be the same with APP. There's really no negative, because it's not a finished product. I can't really say I like this feature versus this one.

It felt like there was a coach in my pocket. A personal GPS system. It's a great help.

You're also in charge of Major Donor Relations at JDRF. What do you tell potential or current donors about the Artificial Pancreas? How do you describe it?

I've worn a lot of different hats at JDRF and I've also worked as motivational speaker, connecting JDRF audiences to the reality of the research. Not everybody is gung-ho about the Artificial Pancreas Project. Some people would rather see autoimmune intervention or beta cell intervention. I try to be clued-in to where people's interests are at.

For people not familiar with the Artificial Pancreas Project, I try to quickly explain to them that there are three essential pieces to it: a sensor, a pump and portable computer that allows the two to speak to each other. We all tend to carry cell phones, and in fact, that's where we'd like to see this technology go. That tends to get people's interests.

What do you tell donors — and interested patients — about participating in clinical trials?

I had not fully realized the importance of clinical trials before, how challenging they are. They are exhausting, but they are essential to the translational conversation. I definitely use that as a point of reference. We all need to be willing to participate in trials. There are trials going on, and this demonstrates forward momentum and forward movement.

We're definitely excited about where APP technology is going. Thanks, Tom, for sharing your story!

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

Type 2 Diabetes Treatment Type 2 Diabetes Diet Diabetes Destroyer Reviews Original Article

0 notes