#everyone but me believed him when he started making justifications for the way he physically abused her. but thats the

[snekdood]

me and my boyfriend were having a conversation earlier about how creepy my dad is and how he 1 used to spy on my mom w binoculars in his car across the street after their divorce (she got a restraining order luckily) but also 2 i remember him threatening to kill my mom and her current husband and i said something about how "i used to be scared i'd see him outside of my window watching me, even though he would probably just go after my mom i was worried he might try to kidnap me-"

and then it all clicked for me. the reason zero is the way he is is bc of my dad. the reason my comic is the way it is is bc of my fucking dad!

[ellionwrites]

If Geto and Gojo were so close, why didn't Geto try to convince Gojo to defect with him?

Because Geto knew that Gojo’s support would guarantee his success, but that success would come at the cost of hurting Gojo.

I believe that Geto cared more about protecting Gojo than he cared about building a better world.

..

Let me explain…

First, let’s talk about why it would’ve made sense for Geto to ask Gojo to join him:

(1) Gojo would’ve been Geto’s most important / most powerful ally

By the time of Geto’s defection, Gojo is already the strongest sorcerer in existence. He and Geto are two of only three special grade sorcerers. Having them both on the same side is essentially an automatic win.

(2) Gojo should’ve been (relatively) easy to persuade

Gojo had already told Geto that he didn't like having to save the weak and didn't care about the moral justifications for it…

…Geto has also seen that Gojo doesn’t always value / protect human life. He was ready to massacre the Time Vessel Association without reason, but ultimately he didn't, because he deferred to Geto's judgement…

…and, most importantly, they are best friends on a DEEP, unparalleled level. Geto is Gojo’s “one and only” best friend.

If Geto was truly dedicated to changing the world order, Gojo should’ve been the first and most important person that he tried to recruit to his insurgency / cult / mission.

BUT

Not only does Geto make zero effort to reach out to / recruit Gojo, he actively avoids him and pushes him away...

- - - - - Keep reading cut - - - - -

After he kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Geto runs into Shoko in Shinjuku. He happily approaches her and willingly answers her questions.

Look at his smiling face in their interactions:

But, when Shoko calls Gojo, Geto leaves before Gojo shows up. Gojo tracks him down anyway and demands an explanation. Geto still doesn’t want to talk about it (“You already heard it.”)

It's strange, right? Geto loves talking about his vision of a better world with everyone else.

Then, there is this confusing progression of dialog:

Geto is hurt/annoyed that Gojo doesn’t believe in him, so he points out that Gojo’s argument against his plan is invalid. The plan is possible (“You could do it”), therefore (according to Gojo’s own logic) it’s not “pointless.”

In a way, Geto is admitting that he knows it would make the most sense for Gojo to join him.

But before Gojo can respond, Geto pivots to saying something extremely hurtful. He's questioning who Gojo is / would be if he wasn't the strongest. Is there really anything more to him? (See more detail in my post here).

Then, in the very next panel Geto turns and starts walking away.

In summary: (1) Geto avoids Gojo, (2) Geto only argues in favor of his plan when Gojo forces/baits him, (3) Upon invalidating Gojo’s opposition to his plan, Geto immediately puts emotional distance between them, (4) Geto then puts physical distance between them.

Why is Geto trying so hard to make sure that Gojo won’t follow him?

Is he just being prideful about doing this on his own? Is he so angry at Gojo's arrogance that he'd jeopardize the success of his life's mission over it?

These arguments aren't in line with Geto's characterization / known motivations (see the end of this post, if you're interested in more on that.)

Geto's main motivation is (a twisted form of) compassion. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers.

He is a thoughtful, contemplative person, and would've thought about the ramifications of recruiting Gojo.

What are the ramifications?

If Gojo joins the cause, Geto’s plan would succeed, but Gojo would suffer for it.

Like anyone who joins Geto's cult, Gojo would become a pariah / fugitive from Jujutsu society. He’d kill people. He’d kill other sorcerers.

But because Gojo has the singular level of strength/ability to kill non-sorcerers en masse, he would commit the vast majority (or all) of the murder / destruction. The legal, social, and mental impacts would be most severe on Gojo.

(Also, at this point, I think Geto may still question whether he’s made the right choice. It’s difficult to go from a hardline stance on protecting non-sorcerers to wanting to gen0c1de them, within the span of a year, without any lingering ethical qualms. So he may be worried about moral costs to Gojo as well.)

Let’s remember that Geto (canonically) deeply loves Gojo. Gojo is his one and only best friend. Geto worries about Gojo when he overworks himself protecting Riko. Geto is shocked when Toji kills Riko in front of him, but he only flies into a rage when he thinks Toji has killed Gojo. (Again, see my post here for more on how much Geto loves Gojo).

So, it makes sense that Geto is ready to make sacrifices to create a better world, but it’s a cost he’s willing to put on his own head. Not Gojo's.

Ultimately, Geto cares more about Gojo than he cares about achieving the mission he has dedicated his life to.

The last thing Geto says to him is this:

What he's really asking Gojo is: "Have you stopped loving me, now that I've committed myself to this dark path? Would you kill me to save them?"

If Gojo hates Geto enough that he’d kill him, then Geto never had a chance of recruiting Gojo in the first place.

Of course, Gojo can’t make himself hurt Geto. He still loves Geto too much.

Geto protected Gojo by pushing him away.

___

Addendum:

I'll also argue against two other possible explanations for Geto's behavior.

(1) Geto is jealous / prideful /wants to build his own legacy without Gojo stealing the spotlight

Geto has clear motivations for his goals and they’re not egotistical. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers caused by non-sorcerers’ existence (e.g., Riko’s death, Mimiko & Nanako’s abuse).

Geto’s pride isn’t hurt when Gojo becomes the strongest. The only thing that bothers Geto is that they’re getting sent on separate missions.

After Gojo becomes stronger that him, Geto still has overt affection for Gojo (e.g., he asks Haibara to bring back sweets from his mission so he can share with Gojo).

Although Geto does believe in his superiority over non-sorcerers, he doesn't feel superior over other sorcerers and doesn't struggle with his 'inferiority' to Gojo.

Does Gojo’s lack of faith in Geto’s ability (calling his goal “impossible”), spur Geto to want to prove himself? Yes, probably. But Geto had already been avoiding Gojo before he said that. And I don’t believe that wanting to prove himself to Gojo would overshadow his stronger motivation to build a better world for sorcerers.

(2) He thinks Gojo actually is too moral to join him

After Geto kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Gojo is shocked and upset by what’s happened, but not once does he insult Geto or imply that Geto has done something unforgivable. In fact, he’s practically begging Geto to explain himself because he wants to be able to justify his actions. And, again, Gojo’s argument against Geto’s plan is NOT that “it’s wrong,” it’s that “it’s impossible.”

[piracytheorist]

Damian Desmond, the bully and the victim

I'm prefacing this by saying I was bullied as a kid at school. It was not the worst bullying story you'll ever hear, but that makes no difference in bully victims, cause no amount of "It could be worse!" can heal the life-long scars bullying leaves in you. I'm not saying this to evoke pity or sympathy, but to give context for my point of view in this analysis.

My two most prominent (and persisting) bullies through my school years were two boys, unrelated to each other and in different times (one was in elementary school and one in high school), who both had divorced parents and lived with their mothers. I don't know the full details of what their relationships with their fathers were, but I can easily guess that there were unfulfilled wishes in their lives, and once they found me they were like "That's who I'll burst out my frustrations on". As if I didn't have my own issues at home, but why would my problems matter from their point of view?

The thing with bullies (and abusers in general) is that, for the most part, they don't understand the pain they're causing - and if they do, they think their victim needs (tough love situation) or deserves it. Everyone is a hero in their own story - I regrettably made fun of a classmate a few times, out of my own need to feel superior for once after having been on the receiving end for so long. And I can tell you that my justification for doing so was something like "I am smart and this kid should listen to me, if he does he will become smart too!". It was only much, much later that I realized that didn't hold and the kid was actually hurt by my uncalled-for behaviour. Usually, bullies don't have the empathy, or if they do they simply don't put it to use, to see things from their victim's perspective.

And in all the praise I have to give Endo for writing Anya very realistically as a child, I also have to give it to him for how realistic the bullying is. It starts immediately, uncritically. It persists and the stupid excuse of "Just ignore them" doesn't work at all. Anya gets angry and upset at it, to the point of violent outbursts and tears (though thankfully presented in such a way that the audience doesn't blame her). Combined with his conflicting emotions about her, Damian has found the perfect victim for his bullying; Anya is an outcast (aside from having Becky, thank god), has physical attributes he can make fun of, and because of her wanting to help with Operation Strix she just constantly presents herself to him, when normally she would try her damnedest to avoid him (like Becky always advises her to).

Everything Damian does is an outburst of his own feelings of neglect. I know manga readers know more about the family dynamic, but as an anime only I've also been given enough to understand it's very, very problematic. But that's not an excuse. Having trauma on your own does not excuse thrusting trauma upon others. I mean, you think Anya, the orphan from the lab who didn't have anyone to give a damn about her happiness until she had to manipulate both her ways into getting a father and then a mother, has less trauma than Damian does???

It's not an excuse, but it's a dynamic for Damian to become better. Damian's behaviour problem doesn't only stem from him being neglected; it's also from the fact that he hasn't been taught sympathy. Which, like, makes sense. His father is an ambitious politician who genuinely believes that it's impossible for humans, even relatives, to understand each other, and had no qualms saying this right in front of his kid.

When it comes to Damian's behaviour, it does not matter that those words hurt him terribly. He doesn't have the emotional maturity and empathy yet to understand that he's only perpetuating the same toxic behaviour with his classmates. The fact that Donovan felt so comfortable saying those words in front of both his own son and a total stranger shows that it's something he's used to; and such traits can very easily be passed on from parents to kids without even consciously trying.

Meanwhile, while Anya had a much worse time while being used as a science subject, she was taught the idea of peace; in the first episode flashback, the scientists talk about how they can use her powers for world peace, to justify cutting her play time short in favor of whatever they were doing with her. When Twilight thinks that understanding her will lead to world peace, she immediately starts complying with that. And when she hears his thoughts about how he wants to create a better world, she decides to stay with him as his daughter to help him in the mission, despite understanding the risk and knowing that whether the mission fails or succeeds, Twilight will walk away in the end. She understands the idea of kindness and good. Maybe the way she was introduced to it wasn't the most noble - after all, the scientists were using it as an excuse to practically abuse her - but she still knows and understands enough about what it means for someone else to be happy.

Damian… doesn't. For the grand majority of his presentation he doesn't do things for someone else, in fact, he's so used to others doing things for him that we always see Ewen carry his backpack for him.

I do not doubt that Ewen himself, being the bootlicker he is, offered to carry it, but the fact that Damian never once went like "Nah it's okay man I can carry my weight today" is very telling about how not used he is to doing things for others.

However, his dynamic becomes interesting and receives redeeming qualities because of the times he does show altruism. First when he stops the ball from hitting Anya in the face during the dodgeball game, (though he instantly and openly regrets doing that). And it wasn't from conscious thought - it was an action purely out of protective instinct. Then, when he's the instigator of consoling George Glooman when the latter thinks he'll be moved out of the school. That one he also regrets doing, but it's much more understandable and it doesn't take away the sympathy he showed him.

There is something he constantly does, however, with someone else in mind; he studies hard and tries to excel at school to receive Stellas, in order to get his father's attention. His way of getting that attention has been so messed up by his upbringing that he thinks the only way of getting any positive interaction with his father is by working hard to not be a "failure". And even that hides some personal motives behind it, because the poor kid longs for some affection from his family. Donovan's character and the distance Damian has from him, his mother (when he calls home, he talks with their butler, not her), and his brother all combined do not allow the kid to understand the concept of doing something to make someone else happy, even (or especially) if there's nothing in it for him.

That's not selflessness; that's a neglected kid pushing himself to prove to his abusers that he's deserving of their affection, something he naturally craves and obviously misses from his life. Tough "love" is so prominent in the Desmond family that Damian had no hopes of growing any differently.

He has the potential to become better and has only been held back because of his family's toxic environment. But he needs to develop a conscious understanding of altruism first if his character is to grow into a morally better area.

You can't just give a character a painful backstory and expect audiences to automatically root for their happiness. You need to show your character also has grown empathy because of said painful experiences. We see it with all three mains. Anya was treated as a lab experiment; you start rooting for her when you see that she wants to help bring peace. Twilight went through a war as a kid; you root for him when he says he wants to create a world where kids won't go through the same thing. Yor lost her parents when she was very young; you root for her when you learn that she took care of her brother and gave him opportunities for education and a better future that she rejected for herself in his favour.

So yeah, I do feel sorry for Damian. But right now I only root for him to understand the meaning of making someone else happy — the meaning behind his own protective action over Anya in the dodgeball game and the sympathy he showed George. When he does that, and he realizes he has more in common with Anya than he dares to accept, it's only then that he'll grow from a layered but still toxic bully into a character audiences can root for.

It's also not the responsibility of Anya of all people to take up all the abuse from him and be the one to help him build up some character. It has to be him making the realization, and Anya can choose to be a friend to him as he does that, but in no way can his development depend on her.

(Again, anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[c0dmic]

REGINA MILLS ANALYSIS

I may get things wrong, so I'm putting information I know of or believe in the most. I still may get it wrong, so correct me. I'm going to talk about Regina's problematic actions, relationships she was in, and a bit of widely talked about topics. Also, most of the posts about her are outdated and later proven to be wrong. So I had to put points that are now and have been canon since the show ended.

CONTAINS: Opinions

-

Regina Mill's personality goes easier throughout the show. From being manipulative to caring but still having that s1 spark. She expresses her caring to her old enemies, aka, The Charmings.

From the flashbacks, we see Regina adopt a child named Henry. She went from having almost full vengeance and revenge still pent up in her heart to having a mix of both love and darkness due to Henry.

-

Yes, Regina was rude to her citizens of Storybrooke. But most of what she did (in later seasons) was use sarcasm. Let's jump into her actions.

Problematic Actions:

- R4pe (Graham Specifically) for 28 years

- Manipulate Henry for years ( calling his 'theory' of fairytales fake)

- Violence (to Villages and People)

---

Let get into the r4pe part first. Of course, even as someone like a Regina stan should not excuse this behavior. Me, aka a person who likes her but doesn't excuse and will NEVER excuse her problematic actions, especially this one in particular.

Regina had raped Graham for around 28 years. 

One sentence that implies it, even for a little bit, is in the episode where Graham (huntsman at the time) meets Regina for the first time. She says

"Take him to my bedchamber,"

I know it's short. But why else would someone say that. Just think about that.

And also the fact that Regina most definitely (for the curse) made Graham engage with her romantically and sexually. Even though it was obvious that he didn't like her that way in the Enchanted forest or most likely ever. Not to mention she had his heart, and in ouat logic hearts are used to control people, so when doing stuff with Regina both romantically and sexually, he was forced to because Regina gave him orders.

- 

Now we go to Manipulating Henry.

For ten whole years, Henry has lived and grew up with Regina. He loved his mother (even though she's not his bio mom). Until Henry got the book, and Emma had revealed that Henry had a book and kept on saying everyone in town are fairytale characters that are cursed (which ofc is true). Regina, unknowing of her sons correct theory /speculation/ belief, was visibly shocked. And when she found out that Snow (Mary) had given the book to him, she didn't want that at all. And even set up Emma into saying that Henry was 

'crazy' when Henry was nearby. So that she can attempt to stop him from thinking of his speculation and them bonding.

All of this was to make sure Henry couldn't connect and hate his birth mother so that she could have him as his own. And also because Henry was right, and she didn't want her son of ten years to hate her for her sins.

--

Explaining the cause of her actions. NOT JUSTIFING HER PROBLEMATIC ACTIONS, IM JUST EXPLAINING WHY SHE DID THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Justify means to show or prove to be right or reasonable.

While to explain means to be the cause of or motivating factor for an action.

I know explain has many definitions or ways to explain what it means and one means to justify. While mine means to simply explain the cause or motivation towards the action.

-

There's no doubt Cora was abusive to Regina. And before you start, there's different types of abuse. The abuse Cora does to Regina is Mental and Emotional. Maybe physical but still very debatable and unclear.

For emotional, Cora visibly and directly shows that Cora wants to control Regina. She wanted Regina to do something Regina didn't want just so Cora could have what SHE wanted. And Emotional abuse means to, "target a person's feelings, it uses emotions to manipulate, punish, and achieve control." That heavily reminds me of Cora killing Daniel to gain more control of Regina. And if you didn't already know.

And there's scenes where Cora would grab Regina forcefully with vines to STOP Regina from moving or walking away from her. Cora said in one of the scenes, "Don't you dare walk away from me!" Then proceed to grab Regina using vines from her Magic. Also, her father, Henry, said to Regina that Cora wanted control over her and if Regina continues with her evil actions, her mother had achieved to controlled her. Because, everything Cora did to Regina was calculated. Daniel's Death, The marriage, the abuse, and it was all to get Reina to become evil. In s2 i think, (the Angstiest Regina Season), Regina goes to Archie upset and with TEARS in her eyes because, she used magic, because she used magic. And she Didn't want to use magic against Henry like her mother. After she did so, she was upset because she broke her own promise to not use magic against Henry. Also because it reminded her of what her mother did to her, and she did want to pass it down for Henry.

Also Cora in s2, came Storybrooke (her daughters town) not only to reunite with Regina but to BREAK HER... like wtf. And Regina is Already upset because Henry is growing distant to her. But Cora, literally

frames her own daughter for murder. While the whole fucking town is already against her.

For Mental, theres an episode where Cora forms Regina's thoughts by saying, "Sometimes I wonder if the people actually like you". And Cora seems to have an influence in Regina's world view, of Wolf and Sheep. Regina States in the episode where she meets the huntsman (Graham). 

(Got the episode part from a Tumblr poster from ouatanalysis) aka:

-

Now back to what I was saying about Cora. Cora had forced Regina into marriage. BUT as you could tell as time went on Regina had decided to use her relationship with Leopold to gain control, because that's what her mother said, about something along the lines of, "power is useful" before she sent her mother through the mirror.

And her mother sent her to a marriage with a broken old ass man who was still grieving his wife. Which lead to the neglect from Leopold to Regina. It was stated by Regina herself that Leopold would often leave Regina by herself at the castle that at points she felt like the 'Queen of Nothing'.

And for me i feel like Regina (forgive me for wording this part wrong) was considered her as a mourning tool. Like, "Oh my wife died 8 years ago, lets get another one to help with and to deal with me". Yes he may have also gotten Regina because she seemed like a good mother figure fit for Snow, but still, most likely half the woman population of Leopolds age from Leopolds kingdom would save Snow from the horse in a heartbeat if they were there and they would show genuine feelings for Leopold. However, he chooses, a woman who's 18 and lives away.

--

Not only Cora and Leopold influenced Regina's bad perspective and actions, Rumple also did too.

Rumple saw Regina as a person wanting power and wanting to stand out and not seem as weak and took the opportunity as the dark one to turn Regina evil.

Regina at first was hesitant to say that she liked using magic due to her not wanting to be like her mother and also due to her mother's actions with her, with magic.

But time happens and Regina uses more and more of magic for evil and frightens villages and kills Villagers who helped Snow in the slightest bit.

I still stan her because she changed, she's reformed and she would never do that stuff again (r4pe, use magic against Henry or manipulate him, or m4ss murd3r).

ANYWAYS, this was heavily controversial. But if your going to criticize/correct parts, be respectful and mature about it instead of wanting to start a riot. Saying "Fuck you", "Go die in a hole", "Kys", "I hope your house burns down". And be respectful, if you want to critigue/correct me at certain parts, by all means, go ahead, but tell me what parts I went wrong instead of telling me to kms.

NOTE: This is from May 2023, but I just remembered this now. And parts didn't make sense so I changed it up to make it better.

[wizkiddx]

work with me

this is for @worldoftom 'lolbrosgetsicktoo' challenge event thing - go check it out bcos lots of much better writers have got involved too✨! I'm v new to these things but I tried :) the prompt was: 'would you quit whining and just get in the bath' . (also look at me acc posting sort of regularly, who'd of thought?!?!)

warnings: sickness / fever (more dramatic than it needs to be) / LOTS of medical inaccuracies

summary: when tom doesn't take advice and ends up very ill, very far from home, there's one person whose stuck dealing with it

“Please Tom… I need you to work with me!”

It wasn’t his fault he was being a complete nightmare, though your patience was wearing off somewhat.

For context, you were in Morocco, where he had been filming part of his next film, which only made trying to take care of him that bit harder.

Everyone got ill sometimes. It wasn’t his fault.

That was the mantra ringing through your head, even if you had a more challenging time believing it. Tom wasn’t stupid, as much as he liked to joke about it. HOWEVER, what he was less good at was heeding warnings. He was a white boy in Morrocco; the health and safety briefing had literally been aimed at him. Had he taken the advice not to eat any dodgy looking meats at the market?

Of course not; that’d be boring.

Everyone else was fine. You’d all sampled Morroccos culture without giving yourselves the worst case of food poisoning you’d ever witnessed. But not Tom - possibly one of the only ‘indispensable’ people on the set. If you, or one of the minor characters, or even the director, had got ill - the show could continue.

When you’d been rudely awoken by your phone going off, you’d known instantly. It was as if you’d told him not to take a bite out of the weird burger once you were away from the eager view of the street vendor. Sure enough, with bleary eyes, you hissed at the brightness of the phone screen before seeing ‘Tom H’ on the screen.

“Y/n?” His voice was croaky, but just from the single call of your name, it was clear he was feeling sorry for himself.

“Are you okay? It’s late T.”

“Um I… can you come over? You…you might need the key I’m - um- in the bathroom.”

As his stylist, it technically wasn’t part of your job description to also be mother when he was sick, but (unfortunately for you) after the 3 years working side by side with him - you were also friends.

Which you were almost regretting by the second time rinsing the toilet bowl clean after he’d evacuated what seemed to be the majority of his vital organs into it. Honestly, it was impressive how he managed to keep going.

That had been at around 4 in the morning- the doctor had been called at 8, coinciding beautifully with his 5th toilet extravaganza. Once the doctor had confirmed your original, if completely unqualified, diagnosis of food poisoning - you hadn’t been able to bite your tongue. Perhaps an ‘i told you so’ might’ve slipped past your lips, but Tom was a bit too out of it to argue back.

You’d been given firm advice from the doctor - he said little sips of water, rest and control his temperature. It all had seen pretty simple - though the action? Not so much.

It wasn’t his fault, yet Tom was not super compliant. You and Harry had both been taking turns in practically forcing him to take sips of water, having to turn off ‘modern family’ till he did. The blackmail had put you both in his bad book.

Honestly, thank the lord Harry was here too. You’d woken him up at seven, begging for help and since then, you’d tagged teamed. While one was looking after Tom, the other was phoning the director, the doctor, and the crew to inform them of the current situation.

Again, of all people. Why’d it have to be Tom?

Mainly because you knew how mortifying he found this. He didn’t like people fussing over him, never had. He liked to work hard, liked to make people happy - definitely didn’t like to feel a burden. Perhaps what made him feel ten times worse was that he knew he was inconveniencing the whole production team massively.

And yes, as you’d unhelpfully reminded him, it was ‘his fault’.

The lavish hotel room, big bathroom and pretty efficient AC still didn’t manage to mask the pungent in-the-back-of-your-throat smell from the bathroom. At the doctor’s advice, who had been a little concerned at Toms fever, Harry had cranked the AC on high. It had forced you to steal one of Tom’s big hoodies and a pair of joggers- you hadn’t left his room since he first called you, still wearing your tiny pyjama shorts and an old tee.

“Please turn the air con off.” His little voice whined from where he was lying, huddled up under the covers. Perched on the other side of the double bed, but over the covers with your laptop on his lap, you could actually feel him shivering with the chills. It felt like you were torturing the poor boy.

“T you know I can’t. It’ll make your fever worse.” The way he looked up at you, like a little Labrador that you were refusing to pet, actually pained your heart.

Okay, so yes it was his fault, but you weren’t mad, you just felt so awful for him.

“Please I’ll- I’ll pay you more.” His voice was hoarse; though he denied a sore throat, it sounded like the constant sickness was burning his windpipe.

“Tommm” you pouted, sticking your bottom lip out “I don’t want your money, want you to get better.”

Apparently giving up, brown eyes shot you the filthiest look in disappointment, rolling to face away from you. You thought he was giving you the silent treatment in a huff, but instead, he was praying on the weaker one.

“Harry, I’ll buy you that set of golf clubs-“

“NO!” You had to interrupt before Harry would say yes - because from the way his younger brother shot up from the arm chair, he was about to. Scowling eyes slowly focused back on you in annoyance, making you huff - shutting the laptop and kneeling on the bed to face him. After pressing the back of your palm to his forehead, which was scorching hot, you sighed. “I know you feel shitty and I’m so so sorry but I’m trying to make you better. So shut up, drink this and go to sleep!”

Like a child scorned, you received another death glare however, then he complied, taking a sip of the water you offered before lying back - huddling even tighter.

And it had been relatively peaceful for a few hours; Tom seemed to be getting some sleep - even if he was tossing and turning. Eventually, a prescription that the doctor had requested worked its way through the system, Harry getting a text to say he could go pick it up. The nearest pharmacy was probably a 30 minute drive from the hotel, so he left as soon as.

This left you alone with Tom, where the situation only descended into more chaos.

Almost as soon as Harry had left, Tom had stirred with a grunt. All it took was one look at his face for you to know. Both of you leapt up and flew into the toilet, Tom once again getting very familiar with the Moroccan toilet bowl.

This time though, when he had leant backwards, he’d sort of lost control and flopped most the way - you catching him before he could hit his head on the tiled floor.

“Woah, easy there!” It wasn’t like he’d passed out, but the look in his eye as he slumped into your lap… he wasn’t all there either. “Hey Tom… you with me? Tom?”

Lazily he blinked up at you, not really replying except for groans of half-formed words.

Deciding this had all got a bit direr, you almost sprinted back into the room, grabbing your phone and returning. He was still on the floor, his thumb and first finger pressing into each eye - groaning again.

“Hey Tom? I’m gonna call the doctor you need anything?” He whined in response, stopping only when you stroked his sweaty hair back, most of your attention on dialling the correct number.

The solution he’d given wasn’t pretty: Tom’s fever was too high hence why he was all woozy and groany. Until the doctor could get over with the stronger medications, you needed to lower his temperature in other ways or take him to hospital. He’d absolutely hate hospital, but the other choice? Boy, was he not going to like it either.

Ignoring Tom’s croaked question of what you were doing, you busied yourself switching on the bath taps. You let the water run until it was the right (very mild) temperate, then turned back to Tom, who’d managed to work himself up to sit against the sink unit.

“The doctor says you need it.” His brain was foggy, his mind was slow but your tone told him enough to know something was wrong with the bath. “Just take your clothes off and then I’ll help you-“

“Absolutely fucking not.” Good. He was still with it enough to argue.

“I am just as uncomfortable as you are Tom, but we both know you can’t stand up without fainting, so you are going to need my help.”

“Y/n!”

“Keep your boxers on and it’s just like a fitting! I’ve seen you have those before!”

It was clear as day just how emasculated he felt, especially because he knew you were right. Sitting up at this current moment was a push; there was no way he was getting in the bath without some help. Defeatedly he nodded, but gave you a piercing look to turn around before he started wiggling himself out of the flannel pyjama trousers and light cotton t-shirt. Most confusingly, he still felt freezing cold, yet he had long since learned not to argue with you - especially when your justification came from the advice of a doctor.

Your cue to turn around came in the form of an extra angry-sounding grunt- the look you got when you did wasn’t much better either. It was a weird contrast, though, having someone who physically appeared so indestructible (a superhero for crying out loud); to have been absolutely beaten to a pulp by a few mouth fulls of weird meat. You had seen his bare torso before, although it still wasn’t something easy to get used to - making you clench your teeth together just slightly. A very welcome view.

Perhaps you looked just a little too long at the man who was technically your boss, hunched angrily on the floor in nothing but his calvins - another grunt shaking you out of it. By now, the bath was almost full and you hurried to shut off the water, feeling your cheeks heat up as you cursed silently to yourself.

“Okay come on, gimme your arm.” Begrudgingly Tom followed your request, slinging his arm heavily over your shoulder as you crouched beside him. As strong as he looked, you knew right now he felt powerlessly weak - all that muscle was just going to be almost dead weight.

Now it was your turn to grunt and groan as you pulled Tom up to stand, him focusing on blinking away the headrush he got.

“Come on T work with me here.” Getting him to the side of the bath wasn’t too difficult, the issue came when he stepped with one foot into the bath and yelped, instantly withdrawing as if it was a literal ice bath.

The sudden movement had you both losing balance, ending with Tom sitting on the edge of the bath and you leaning over him, in between his legs, and slapping your hand on the wall opposite purely so you both didn’t end up in the bath.

“Tom!”

“It’s like ice water!”

“Its lukewarm like the doctor said!”

“It is not its from the fucking arctic!”

“Oh for god sake!” Exasperated, you paced up and down the bathroom shaking your head at his ridiculousness. This was ALL. HIS. FAULT.

You came back to him with an ultimatum.

“It’s this or the doctor said I had to drag your ass to hospital.”

“Nooooooo.” The 25 year old seemed to convert into a whiny three year old again.

“Those are the two options. So will you PLEASE quit complaining and get in the bath.”

Keeping up the toddler persona, Tom huffed but reluctantly nodded in agreement - you had come up trumps. It didn’t stop him yelping when you helped to lower him in. His breath was shaky, as a response to the ‘cold’, but he was firming it. At least when you felt his forehead after a couple of minutes, it certainly seemed as though the fever was starting to ease off .

“You can go if you want.” His voice was murmured and as you looked up at him, he did his very best to avoid your gaze.

“Not a chance, if you drown on my watch, Nikki will never forgive me.” At the very least he seemed to appreciate your joke, scoffing a little with a small nod. “If you don’t want me here I get it. As soon as Harry’s back, I’ll swap with him.”

“No! It’s not that its… I’m just an ass when I’m ill.”

“A self aware ass, though.” Again he chuckled a little, as you folded your arms on the edge of the porcelain tub, resting your head lying to one side. “You had me pretty scared there for a moment, you know?”

He nodded a little, creating a wave of ripples in the water which you watched to avoid his gaze - which you knew was tracing all your features inquisitively.

“Hey it’s in the job description, always a bit dramatic... I’m sorry though I should never of called you- don’t know why I didn’t just get Harry.” In response you tutted, taking a moment to lean up and push his sweaty curls back a bit.

Just because you could, it was allowed in this moment.

“’m glad you did.”

“Yeh me too” He sighed, eyes fluttering shut in the easy silence of the bathroom. You kept a vigilant eye on him for the next 20 minutes, checking the temperature of his forehead using the back of your hand, whilst he seemed to finally get a bit of proper restbite, appearing like the worst had passed. You had no idea what was taking Harry so long; in fact it was the doctor that arrived first- who you ran to let in (not wanting to leave Tom asleep in the bath one bit).

Whilst the doctor did all his checks, taking his temperature properly this time, satisfied that it was much more manageable. He still wanted to set him up with some oral rehydration rescue packs to get his hydration status a bit better and give some anti-sickness tablets and antipyretics.

Having actually been getting some rest before all the prodding and poking, Tom was back to being a grumbling dick - now not wanting to leave the bath (the irony was real - making you roll your eyes). Once again, he appeared embarrassed to have you see him like this, so you left the doctor to help him get out and changed- instead going down to reception to get a fresh set of sheets, as he’d done a pretty impressive job of sweating through the old ones.

Even if tired and grumpy, when Tom exited the bathroom, he looked much better - he was walking himself without the doctor’s help. Which honestly was such a relief because when he had passed out on you, you genuinely were terrified. Thankfully the doctor stayed for the next 20 or so minutes, which was just when Harry returned with a bag of medications - which were now wholly redundant, given the doctor had already supplied everything.

“What happened?” Harry asked you in a hushed voice, whilst Tom was distracted with getting his medications. Recounting the story of Tom pretty much passing out, Harry grimaced for you, then launching over to give you a tight hug.

“Are you okay?” That was a novel idea, you hadn’t really thought about yourself at all - but honestly, you were a bit shaken, having been running on adrenalin for most of the night.

“I-uhm… yeh I think so… just-just was a bit scared, I guess? Felt bad too because he didn’t want me there but-“

“I can promise you Y/n, he did want you there. Just probably embarrassed he wasn’t all manly and that…” With a nod, you smiled softly at the frizzy-haired boy.

Whilst working with Tom, it also meant getting pretty close to his younger brother. The two Hollands were almost attached at the hip, which you were very much okay with.

It was weird though... your relationships were completely different. Harry was just your brother, through and through. He wound you up like a sibling but also knew you as if he had your whole life. With Tom… it wasn’t that. Arguably, you were closer to Tom, but on a different level. It was more exciting, more nerve-wracking and heartwarming all at the same time. Honestly, you couldn’t get your head around it properly.

“Hey, you’re probably shattered. Why don’t you go back to your room and get some sleep? I got it in here.” You knew Hary was trying to offer something nice, and now all the excitement had worn off, you were unbelievably shattered. But you didn’t like the idea of not being there, as a just in case.

“Uhm, I think I might just stay, you know?” And he did, with a deliberate, knowing smile, he nodded.

He knew you were worried. He knew Tom had really really scared you. He also knew how much you cared about his brother.

Just like how Harry knew Tom wanted you there, even if he felt embarrassed. Well, anyone would- when you are passing out half-naked in front of the one person that really matters.

It was just at this point that the doctor was done, giving Harry instructions about the rest of the day, when you made a beeline for the bed. Tom was propped up against the headboard, still with a pale sullen look and tired eyes, but a bit less clammy and more human. He cracked a smile as you crawled up onto the other side of the bed, kneeling next to him.

“How’re you doin’?”

“All drugged up, just feel fucking exhausted.” Instinctively you reached up to feel his forehead, really appreciating the fact it felt almost normal.

“Join the club mate, I had a 5am wake up call too.” You almost whispered, intending to make Tom laugh, but instead only getting a pout.

“I am sorry, a-are you going to go back to your room?”

“Nah” Tom’s eyes didn’t light up, except the fact that they very much did. “Can’t trust you not to get into trouble while I’m gone Holland.”

“Thanks.” He laughed weakly before shimmying down on the bed, so he was much more comfortable. “And thankyou, I-I’m sorry I’m a dickhead and made your life-“

“Shut up Tom!” Laughing, you lightly slapped his arm, also leaning down on the bed, so you were lying facing him. “You’re all feverish; go to sleep before you say something stupid.”

There was a long pause, Tom just gazing deep into your eyes, because he was pretty sure what he was thinking was nothing to do with the dodgy unidentified meat he’d had the evening before.

“What... like asking you out?”

…..

“Maybe that wouldn’t be so stupid.”

~~~~im really not sure how I feel about this one, let me know what you thought ;) ~~~~

tagging: @lovehollandy12 @hallecarey1 @crossyourpeter@hollandfanficlove

[azems-familiar]

Tell me about the corruption arc Bestie

oh bless you are going to get Such a textwall and i do not even care

what i am currently most emotions about is. how Revan's entire outlook shifts so gradually through the war that she doesn't even realize it's changing/changed! like, she gets to this point where she ends up literally not able to completely remember why she went to war in the first place - it was about revenge, wasn't it? wasn't it? hasn't it always been about- saving the galaxy and about destroying the Mandalorians and about winning?

and like! it hasn't! when she first went to war it was out of compassion, it was this determination that she would do the right thing when no one else would, because the galaxy was being BROKEN and no one was stepping up, and what are Jedi if not compassionate, and what are Jedi if they do not stand by the oaths they took when they were knighted? and like- yes, she was determined to win, but she was determined to win so that no one else would suffer the way the Cathar did, so that she could find justice for their deaths, and the line between justice and vengeance can be so blurred at times but there is such a clear difference at the same time and what Revan ended up doing at Malachor- it's the latter, not the former. violence begets violence begets violence and it's a cycle and in committing a genocide against the Mandalorians to make them pay for a genocide of the Cathar it's just perpetuating this cycle, and early Revan would've- seen that, or at least known it wasn't the right way to end this!

but she gets so caught up in her own legend that she loses all of it. like- how to put this into words in a way that isn't just exploring it through prose. she has the mask and it's originally the symbol of her promise, of her commitment, but it becomes this symbol for her and for her victory from the moment she wins her first battle with it, and the Jedi who follow her, who took her name as their cause, they already see her as their leader. and the Republic starts talking about her as a hero and tying this all to the mask, and it just keeps getting worse and worse as she wins more and more because she is being heralded as this savior and she was told from a young age that she was meant to save the galaxy and she'd never thought it was true, not really, but now- well, she starts to doubt. she starts to believe, maybe, that she really is meant to

and like. the sacrifices are such a huge part of this, i don't know if i can completely explain it. Cassus Fett is out here constantly pushing her to see how far she'll go, and the problem is, the strategies work. she uses people as pawns and it's this constant. sacrificing the few to save the many, and it works but it takes its toll on her. it gets her seeking out absolution from Alek and it gets her justifying it to herself as sacrifices are necessary in war because sometimes, sacrifices are necessary for the greater good and war, this war, is for the greater good, so it follows from there, and originally it's a justification but she comes to believe in it because her sacrifices are winning, not just battles but the war, and she's constantly being told by so many people that she is saving the galaxy and it all just- sinks in. and the mask becomes her in all the ways that matter, because she cannot stay human and cope with everything she's done, everything she's killed.

and also! she has to be right at all times. every decision she's made in this war, it has to be the right one, because if it isn't - if she was wrong - she made these choices for her pride and her pride alone, and she can't handle that. she has to be Right and the Mandalorians, especially Fett, have to be Wrong, and she can't see any shades of grey in this (despite Everything she does being this mess of grey) because she can't confront the fact that her own pride is what lets her really lean into this savior thing. she has to be better than the Mandalorians because if she's not-

if she really is the same as they are, then what was all of this for?

and like. she is angry, she is arrogant, she is proud, these are her flaws, her faults, and combined with this desperate need to prove herself that stems from how she was always regarded as too angry and too attached and too dark by a lot of the Jedi growing up, especially a couple certain masters who i will not name but would like to murder, it all just snowballs into this. she has to be the legend because she has to prove herself and also she needs to Win and she needs to be Better and she needs to do all of this and she physically cannot do it as a human. so she makes herself both more than and less than one. and more than this, like! there's this whole thing where. she cannot accept responsibility for her own role in all of this. she cannot lay the lives of everyone she's sacrificed for her victory on her own shoulders, otherwise she will break, because she is twenty-two years old when she goes to war and twenty-five when she gives the order to activate the Mass Shadow Generator and that same compassion that led her to go to war makes it impossible for her handle the Guilt of everything she's done.

so she turns. and she lays it all at Cassus Fett's feet. because he is the one who drives her into these sacrifices and he is the one who pushes her and he is the one who- on and on and on, she turns him into the villain and the scapegoat and like - yeah, the Mandalorians are at least half at fault for all this, but no one is forcing her into this. (except Vitiate, all of this has been Vitiate from the very beginning, and that's why it's all a tragedy because there were no right answers and at the same time Everyone was right and there was never any other way any of this could end - Revan will always go to war and Alek and the Exile will always follow and Malachor V will always burn) she makes Fett into the personification of all her guilt and she turns it all into anger and she declares that she will get revenge on him for everything he's made her do and so she kills her guilt in the dirt on Dxun, stabs Fett through the gut with his own spear and takes the breastplate off his still-living body to turn into her own armor as proof of her victory, and in his final moments he tells her that they are the same and she looks at him and says that is why you have to die because no one, no one can know that in the end, she Is just like them. that when pushed into a war, she fights for the thrill of battle, that she wants the victory more than she wants anything else, that she is no longer a Jedi and she isn't sure what to do with that.

Fett dies, and then Revan turns, with a golden beskar breastplate and a red sash added to her black robes, and she goes to Malachor V and she kills Mandalore and she shatters the Mandalorians into dust for all their crimes (for all her guilt) (for all her rage and bitter determination and the last dying shards of her compassion). a planet dies, the Mandalorians die, and a war is won and the Republic is saved but that isn't enough. it's not enough. she no longer knows how to be at peace, she has turned herself so successfully into the mask and the legend that without the war she does not know how to exist and so she- goes to find a new one, because the galaxy isn't ever going to be saved.

and the worst part of all of this is- there's this moment, this battle. the second battle of Althir. she's been making bigger and bigger sacrifices but she's never directly fired on her own people before, but this battle - it was all a trap, of sorts, and she is losing, and there is this moment in which she has to choose between a strategic retreat to save her fleet and her people, or a victory, or winning even though it means deliberately killing tens of thousands of her own people to do it. and it's sort of this point of no return for her when maybe things could be different - maybe she could turn back, maybe victory doesn't have to be all-important to her - and then they can't, and she can't, and it does. and she gives the order to kill off a third of the ships she has with her for that victory.

and she does not mourn it.

because sacrifices are necessary in war.

and in the end, living up to the legend she's made herself into - being it, completely and utterly - has become the most important thing to her, more important than saving lives.

and this - it's why she falls, in the end. she makes the conscious choice to become Sith (she was very much hovering on the edge of the Dark, but she wasn't completely fallen) after escaping from Vitiate, because the Jedi weren't strong enough to defeat the Mandalorians, and like - it's not the same, but also, yes it is. it all leads here. everything she has ever gone through leads to this moment, standing on Korriban, surrounded by dust as red as the blood that soaked it a millennium ago with the cold wind stretching her cloak out behind her, when she ignites her violet lightsaber and names herself Darth Revan.

(Revan, still, because her name is not a name, it has not been a name in years, her name is a title in the mouths of her Jedi and her soldiers and her enemies, Revan, Revan, save us, Revan, kill us, Revan, lead us to victory.

and she will.)

[twinklelilstarkey]

Secret - Rafe Cameron

[Requested]

Words: 3.9k+

Type: Fluff & Smut

Summary: Pogue!Y/N and Rafe have been dating for over a year and she has been keeping it a secret ever since.

Warnings: Fem!Reader. Quite bad writing, if you’re expecting an amazing smut, I’m sorry in advance. Mentions of Alcohol. Mentions of cheating (Sarah & Topper). IF YOU ARE MINOR, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!!

DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!

Part 2

Imagine how your life would be if you were a pogue and worked at a restaurant part time (which also does cater for many events in the island) yet dated a member of the richest family in the whole Outer Banks.

Now, that would be the big talk of the island, right?

Unless they didn’t know a thing.

And that is your reality. Nobody knows that you date Rafe, and you’re quite proud of how you two have been able to hide every single interaction.

Yes, there were very close calls a few times, but there was never once a day where you two were close to being caught.

Working as a waitress and caterer for most of the Cameron’s events was always a good enough justification for the two of you to be talking. So, nobody suspected a thing.

Not even Sarah. And not only are you insanely close (which is also bad for your friendship with the pogues), you don’t even know how many times you’ve slept over.

She never cared enough for her brother to know who sleeps with in his bed, so that worked in your favor as well.

“Wait, mom” You say while dragging the white box over in the back of your family’s car, “Weren’t we supposed to take the sliders in two boxes instead of a big one?”

As your mom studied you while deep in thought to check if you’re right, you lean on the side of the car as your phone starts to vibrate on your back pocket.

You pull it out to check who it is, and you decide to ignore it since it’s JJ asking if there’s any scraps from the food you’re taking to the Midsummers’ event.

“I think Rose told me yesterday by the phone that it could be one box” Your mom says, “We just have to be careful so that they don’t ‘look smushed’”

You grin at the sight of your mom air quoting the Rose’s words with a small annoyed look. Not that your mom doesn’t like Rose. She can’t, she’s her biggest client. And also gives amazing tips at the end of each event. But she is indeed annoying.

“That’s fine then” You say while shrugging.

“Can you go grab the last box while I go through everything?”

“Yeah, of course”

You run back in the house and go in the kitchen to get the last white box filled to the top with food. You don’t even know what you’re carrying sometimes.

You do have the curiosity to peek and check the delicious, yet cold food that your mom and her coworkers prepared. But ever since you tried to peek at the deserts and instead you saw a bunch of uncooked marinated meat. You never had the desire to do it again.

The disappointment was just too big.

You close the trunk once the last box is well put away and secured and walk all the way back to the driver’s seat.

“You have all the lists with you, right?” You check with your mom before driving off.

“Yes, Y/N. I will not forget them again”

(…)

“Rose, my dear, how are you?” Your mom asks right as she spots the blonde woman standing at the front of the mansion.

“I’m great, how are you?” Rose answers with a slightly less excited tone.

You jump out of the car as two men start walking towards it to help carrying everything to the back, where the event is going to take place.

“Y/N, I didn’t even see you there” Rose says as you open the trunk.

You look up at her and give her a small smile, followed by a whispered ‘hi’. You tell the workers where to take the white boxes with the desserts and you grab one with the raw meat (to be grilled later).

“Sarah is in the back, helping with the last decorations, if you want to go talk to her” Rose tells you as you walk past her, and you give her another small smile.

“Thank you”

You walk in the mansion and start to make your way to the backyard, finding Sarah standing on top of a ladder.

“Y/N!” She shouts as you walk out to stand beside her ladder, “What’s in the box?”

“Just… You know…” You start while looking up at her, “Food”

“Oh, come on! Let me just peek!”

“Nop”

You walk away from Sarah as she almost throws herself off the ladder to reach you faster. You make your way over to Heyward, Pope’s dad, but also one of the best cooks in all the rich events.

“I brough you the meats” You say with a playful tone as you’re close enough for him to hear you.

“Thank you, sweetheart” He says with a smile, finding what you said quite funny.

“Oh” Sarah says as she gets close to you, “It’s raw meat? I almost fell off of there and ran this whole backyard for raw meat?”

“Yes, Sarah Cameron” You say with a smile, “You sure did”

Once Heyward is done with storing the meat close to the griller, you turn back to the house, in hopes to get back to work, and Sarah lays her arm over your shoulders.

“How’s your day going?” She asks you.

“Going well, even though I would’ve preferred to stay home and watch a show on Netflix” You admit as you walk up the porch, “What about you?”

“It’s going great, I’m actually excited to this year’s Midsummers. Are you going to stay here the whole night?”

“As a worker, yeah”

“What? But I want to have some fun with you” Sarah says, sounding deeply saddened, “Can we at least share a drink? Like the old days” (old days aka last year)

“At the back, with all the waiters. Sure” You say with a smile.

Sarah groans loudly beside you as you keep walking towards the front door to look for your mom.

“Where’s the rest of your family?” You ask Sarah.

“Getting ready at home. Dad’s going to get here later than everyone since Rose still has to go home and change. Rafe, I believe, is coming in with the guys. And Wheezie… I have no idea, honestly”

“Oh okay”

“Why? Are you choosing me over one of my siblings?” She asks playfully.

“I mean…” You start, making her glare at you, “Wheezie is superior out of all of you”

Sarah gasps loudly but soon erupts into laugher as she almost chokes in her own spit. Once she regains her energy and composure, she speaks again.

“At least you didn’t say Rafe”

You breathe in at her words, holding back any physical way to show your distress over them and smile a bit.

“Yeah”

(…)

Two hours went by and the once empty mansion is now filled with all the rich families from the island. You have spent most of your time checking on all the boxes of food and other things, such as the small bags that each guest will take home (filled with seasonal dried flowers and overly expensive snacks).

Rose has always been a fan of these small bags, which means that she’s also overly obsessed with them being perfect and just like she imagined them.

And yes, you are just one of the caters, but since your mom is friends with Rose, your services are also brought up and offered in conversations many times as a ‘thank you for choosing us’.

You’re quickly surrounded with people wearing expensive, yet beautiful, dresses and suits.

Some of them mistaking you for a waitress and requesting drinks, in which you answered with a ‘sure’ before running to nearest waiter.

You’re wearing a white t-shirt tucked in your light purple cargo pants (color picked by Rose). The logo of your mom’s business is printed on the back of your shirt. And even with that, it still makes you stand out as much as the other colorful guests.

“Take this to the back, please” You hear someone say to the team of waiters behind you.

You snap back to reality and restart counting the bags laying on the table. As soon as you reach the last five, a wave of clapper fills your ears.

You look over your shoulder and the Cameron family walks down the white porch confidently.

Your eyes travel from Rose, all the away over to Wheezie, admiring the floral dress that her mom had chosen for her.

Rafe walks out behind Sarah, his eyes glued to the ground, ignoring the clapping around him (probably finding it an exaggeration). You hold your gasp at the sight of how amazing he looks, and before you could admire him for any longer, your mom screams for you.

“Y/N” Your mom calls, and you look back at her, “Can you give your opinion on something?”

You walk over to her, looking at the many drinks that are stored with the marinated meats.

“Don’t you think that this way too much alcohol for just the food that we’re doing out here?”

“Yeah, but Heyward might need more than we think” You say while shrugging, “You know how he is with his recipes”

She nods before answering.

“I’m starting to think his big secret ingredient is just alcohol. We’re just too drunk to taste it”

You roll your eyes at your mom’s dry joke and she chuckles at your expression.

“Sarah! Hi, sweetheart” Your mom says, looking at the person behind you.

“Hi, Mrs. Y/L/N. How’s everything going so far?” Sarah asks with a smile, being as cheerful and nice as your mother.

“Going great. You look amazing, by the way”

“Oh, why, thank you”

You stay in the middle of the conversation for a little bit more and your eyes travel through the guests, trying to see if someone needs something.

You find Rafe leaning back on the railing of the porch while talking to Kelce, Topper and two other friends; he looks somewhat entertained, which surprised you.

“Can I steal Y/N for a minute?” Sarah asks.

“Of course, she has done so much work so far. She’s free to go” Your mom answers.

Sarah pulls you by the hand with her to the middle of the party and starts taking you inside of the house.

“I need to tell you something very important” She says to you.

“A new gossip?”

“No. A new update in my life”

You two walk faster up the porch and you slow down, letting go of Sarah’s hand, when Kie notices you.

“Hi” She says with a smile.

You two share a small and quick hug and Sarah stands by you awkwardly, not wanting to disrupt your moment with her ex best friend. Kie looks her way and her eyebrows lift in annoyance.

“Will you be working all night?” She asks and you nod, “That’s a bummer, I wanted to hang out with you more”

“Me too. Once I find another free time tonight, I’ll try to find you”

“I’ll wait for that” She says with a smile, “Now go, I’m sure she needs to talk to you”

You look back at Sarah, who isn’t even bothering enough to give the dirty look back, and you grab her hand again, as a way to say, ‘let’s go’.

You two walk past the guys, that didn’t even notice you (or at least that’s what you think), and go find somewhere quiet to talk.

“Please don’t judge me for what I’m going to say to you” She starts, “It’s something very recent and unexpected”

Once you nod, she blurs it all out.

“John B?” You ask with a confused look, “You’re dating John B?”

“Not dating-dating” She corrects, “We’re… something”

“So, almost dating” You conclude, and she sighs, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just shocked. But why now? Didn’t he work for your dad for years?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t exactly know him at the time” She explains, “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Of course not,” You say, and she sighs in relief. “But, Sarah- What about Topper?”

“I’ll break up with him”

Those words hit you like a train almost. Over the year you’ve been dating Rafe, Topper and you have started an amazing friendship. He would always help you find excuses when you would be almost found with Rafe, or something of the sort.

And one thing you know about him, is how much he actually cares for Sarah.

Not that you want to pressure Sarah into continuing a relationship with Top just because you’re friends with him. Of course not. You just think he deserves a good explanation on why everything is going on, and not just a simple ‘I don’t want to date you anymore’. And Sarah is extremely bad at that.

But yeah, you don’t know what is going on in their relationship, therefore, you can’t judge Sarah’s actions all that much.

“You won’t tell him, right?” Sarah asks you, snapping you back to reality, “I know you two are friends but, I want to be the one telling him”

“Of course. I won’t say a thing”

(…)

“Y/N!” You hear someone scream from behind you, “I’ve missed you”

You look at the person, to find Topper, exactly where he was previously with Rafe and Kelce. But this time, he’s only with Kelce.

“I’ve missed you too” You say with a small smile, walking towards them, “Where’s Rafe?”

“Getting a drink, I think”

Topper lays his arm over your shoulders and pulls you in closer to him.

“How’s the event going for you?” He asks.

“Fantastic” You sarcastically answer.

“It’s not going that well for us either” Kelce adds, “These events are always so boring”

You agree with him with a nod and someone appears next to you, Rafe. You eye him up and down, admiring the suit that was chosen for him, and he looks down at you.

“Shouldn’t you be working, Y/L/N?” He asks teasingly and Topper chuckles beside you.

“Fuck off, would you?”

A smile appears in his face and he looks up to look through the large amount of people.

“Where’s my sister?” He asks when looking back down.

You look at him confused.

“Drinking somewhere, why?”

“Inside?” He asks and you look at Topper and Kelce even more confused, trying to find some answers for his questions.

“Yes?”

“Can you show me?”

You blink at him a few times in silence while looking at him and slowly nod. You lean way from Topper and start walking towards the door you just walked off.

“Have fuuuun” Kelce sings and you look back at him.

Something in your mind clicks and you feel like the dumbest person alive. You look back at Rafe and he’s straight up laughing at your dumbfounded face.

“Oh my god” You whisper to yourself and keep walking.

You two walk back inside the room, filled with a lot of waiters chaotically working and some richer parents having their drink in the silence.

Some look up at Rafe and recognized him. They tried to start a conversation, which never goes past ‘hi’, but nothing that they’re used to getting for the young adult/teen rich kids.

His eyes stay glued on the ground as you two walk, sometimes carelessly looking up at your ass, which looks marvelous in those pants.  

“Upstairs” He says so low that you almost don’t even hear him.

You two walk quickly up the stairs and as soon as you start making your way to one of the many empty rooms in the mansion.

Rafe’s arm circles your waist and pulls you against him as he holds your face with his other hand, pressing kisses all over your face.

Your giggles fill the hallway, echoing through the walls, and he makes a turn so the two of you enter a room. As he struggles to open the door, you turn around in his arms and smile up at him. He smiles back and pushes you in the room.

The door closes behind him and your lips touch right on that same second.

Right outside of the door and at the top of the stairs stands a lost JJ, looking for Sarah so he can finally give John B’s little note.

Or should he say Vlad?

They’re weird.

Rafe pulls your t-shirt from inside your pants and his hands attach to your skin under it. Goosebumps erupt through your skin as his cold skin touch yours. You get rid of his bowtie in a quick tug and start unbuttoning the first buttons of his dress shirt.

JJ walks through the hallways, kicking the ground in boredom, and looks at all the closed doors.

Should he peek inside each one?

But there are so many.

Rafe’s expensive blazer hits the ground and he picks you up once you pull away from the kiss. He sits you on top of the desk and pulls away to help you take off your shoes.

As they hit the ground loudly, your hands clasp into his cheeks and you pull him for another soft kiss.

Rafe smiles into the kiss and pushes you to lay down on the desk. He throws the unused notebooks, pens and blank books onto the ground, making you chuckle at his desperation.

JJ lifts his head at the loud noise and looks through the closed doors confused.

What in the hell was that?

“JJ?” Kie asks and JJ jumps at the sudden sound.

“Jesus Christ” He says while laying his hand over his chest.

“What are you doing here?”

He can’t tell her that he’s here to give something to Sarah. Especially that that something was given to him by John B.

“Uhm… Looking for…” He starts, itching the back of his head, “Pope and Y/N”

“Oh, Pope is with his dad in the backyard and I’m also looking for Y/N”

JJ nods at her words while biting the inside of his cheek and Kiara continues to stare, expecting him to say something else.

Once you unbutton the last button of his shirt, your hands move over to Rafe’s abs and up his chest softly. His kisses on your neck are slow and loving, his hands do most of the work, getting rid of your clothes.

As the zipper of your pants is heard, he moves up to kiss your lips again. His hand slides in your pants and underwear and you moan into the kiss.

“Why are you up here?” JJ asks.

“Looking for Y/N?” Kie answers.

Didn’t she just tell him that?

“Right. Of course,”

Rafe’s finger moves in circular motions over your clit and you moan louder as he does it. He pulls away from the kiss and smirks down at you as he also moves his hands away.

As you were getting ready to protest your distress, he grabs the top of your pants and tugs them down with your underwear.

Once they hit the floor, you ‘help’ him unbutton his pants and they easily fall down when past his thighs. You lick your lips and Rafe pulls you back to your laying position.

“As much as I would love you if you did that. We don’t have much time” He whispers into your lips and you nod.

Your shirt had fallen down from you sitting up, so it covered most of your naked body, but Rafe was quick to lay you back and get a grip onto your hips, bringing them right to the end of the table.

You gasp loudly at the feeling of his boxers against you and before he stands up, he moves down and presses a wet kiss on the inside of your thigh.

He stands back up and you wrap your legs around his hips so he can come closer. He smiles down at you and positions his hands on top of the elastic of his boxers, making you bite your lip at the simple sigh of his bulge.

“Maybe we should go check downstairs, this is empty” Kie says, noticing that JJ won’t say anything else.

“How do you know? All the doors are closed”

“Well, I don’t see Y/N closing herself in a room when she’s working” She says, “Let’s go”

JJ nods and as soon as Kie turns around, he starts following her back to the stairs.

On half of their back down, Sarah appears, very much to JJ’s relief but Kie’s annoyance.

“What were you two doing upstairs?” She asks.

“Nothing you deserve to know” Kie answers.

Sarah rolls her eyes and continues to go up the stairs as Kie mocks her voice and movements while making her way down them. JJ uses their hatred to his advantage and in a quick movement shoves the small piece of paper in Sarah’s hand.

“Oh fuck, Rafe” You moan out loud, back arching in pleasure as Rafe hisses out loud.

Rafe thrusts into you once more, slowly picking up his pace. His eyes move from down to your face. He brings one of his hands up and covers your mouth, before speeding up.

You moan into his hand and grip into his wrist, closing your eyes.

“Open your eyes baby, come on” Rafe says in a deep voice and you do as told.

His hand moves down over your neck and as soon as he wraps his hand around it, a malicious smile grows on his face.

“What is this?” Sarah asks to JJ.

“Vlad told me to give this to you” He answers, winking at her and running off to follow Kie out of there.

Sarah opens the piece of paper confused yet excited and smiles down at it.

She continues to walk upstairs discreetly, planning on just to go check on her makeup in the bathroom before going to see John B.

And as she continues to make her way up the stairs, her big and white flowy dress is noticeable enough.

“Fuck-” Rafe whispers and your grip intensifies on his arm.

The pleasure was getting easily out of control for you, and as soon he lifts his other hand off your hip and brings it down, starting to play with your clit. Bringing you over the moon.

“Rafe- Clos-” You try to say out loud but fail horribly with not only the pleasure but also the pressure on your neck.

“Come for me, baby”

His words were literally the only thing that you needed, his hand moves away from your throat and covers your mouth, letting air back into your lungs but isolating your possible sounds.

The pleasure hits you with an amazing strength, erupting all through your body. Your eyes roll back with the intense feeling and Rafe groans loudly at how tight you feel.

Sarah walks down the hallway without a care in the world, in hopes that she’ll find the bathroom, she had found last year, quickly.

“Sarah! What are you doing here?!” Topper shouts from the other side of the hallway.

She looks back at him, annoyed expression over her face at the unnecessary volume.

“Do you have to scream?!” She screams back just as loud.

Rafe groans against the crook of your neck as he comes off his high, the only thing you two could hear was both of you heavily breathing.

Your fingers run through Rafe’s hair as he places sweet kisses from your neck to your lips.

“What are you doing up here?” Topper’s voice sounds from the hallway.

The two of you quickly sit up as a reflex and look at each other with widen eyes.

You are fucked.

- - - - - 

Quite literally. I’m so sorry that this smut is so trash! I’m actually trying, I promise. I’m just not a natural, I guess.

[amalthea-fictions]

Commander Shepard's Nickname

I had this idea after James and Garrus get that banter dialogue on the Normandy in ME3! Summary: everyone is trolling poor James...

---

He doesn’t believe it at first. Thinks he must be misreading things. But slowly, the pieces all start fitting together.

His first hint is when she immediately rejects his nickname. But, not because of duty or rules against fraternization, no. But out of a sheer lack of interest.

“You sure know how to fight, Lola.”

“Lola?” She snorts.

He shrugs.

She crosses her arms and raises an eyebrow. “You’re calling me Lola because…?”

“I like giving people nicknames.” He lets his gaze wander over her, wondering if she’ll play his game.

But it backfires.

“Let’s not, Vega,” she says, her tone strict with all the practiced sternness of a commanding officer. “Just ‘Commander Shepard’ is fine for you.”

“Alright, but it’s your loss.” He straightens when she scowls at him and adds, “ma’am.”

Then they meet up with the turian on Palaven’s moon. James had known that Shepard was close with a turian --after all, the crew that helped her defeat Sovereign and blow up the Collector base included everything from turian to krogan.

But something is… different about the way she speaks to this turian.

“We need to find General Victus immediately, then,” Shepard says to the commanding turian officer who had just informed them that this Victus guy is the next in the line of succession to become the primarch.

The flanging voice of another turian approaches behind them. “Don’t worry. I’m on it.”

Shepard spins around a little too hastily. “Garrus!”

The turian, Garrus, smiles ---well, flicks his mandibles-- looking genuinely happy to see her. “Amalthea,” he says, and there’s pure relief and joy in his voice. She’s beaming back at him as they take each other’s hands. It could have been a friendly handshake, but James doesn’t fail to notice the way he takes her hand in both of his, all tender-like.

After the mission, he begins to notice more clues. Especially how Garrus keeps calling her--

“Amalthea.”

The commander looks up from her datapad. The lot of them are sitting around the war table. Garrus says something about krogans, and Shepard doesn’t seem to mind when his hand brushes against hers as he points out things on her datapad. Not once does she scold him for using her first name.

The next day, he sees them eating together. He fixes his own plate at the mess counter and tries not to make it too obvious he’s straining to listen to their conversation. But-- yes-- there it is! He doesn’t call her Commander Shepard. Or even just Shepard:

“I’m sure Wrex will be more happy to see you than me, Malthie,” the turian says.

Malthie -- and that’s definitely a nickname if he ever heard one.

James quirks his eyebrow as he finishes his plate. So, no nicknames from Lieutenant Vega, but they’re acceptable from Garrus Vakarian?

He finds his gaze wandering over the commander’s body again one day when he’s had a few too many drinks in Purgatory. He’s in the middle of talking about EDI’s new body, and how now he’ll be even more distracted because the commander can also fill out a uniform like nobody’s business--

“Nice try, James,” she says, holding up her hand as if to physically shield herself from the drunken flirting. “But you’d best stop unless you want to get on the bad side of a certain turian.”

Right. Certain turian.

The worst part is, everyone else seems to know, too. It’s like an unspoken understanding, and James can’t get anyone to really admit that they’re together.

“Estefan,” he tries one day, protected from intruding ears by the loud sheering sound of Cortez’s drill. “What’s between the commander and the turian?”

Cortez shrugs, not stopping his work. “There’s something between them, obviously. In case you haven’t noticed, amigo, we have bigger things to worry about than who the Commander is dating.”

But James can’t just leave it at that. He needs to know.

“Hey, Joker,” he tries later. “You’ve known Shepard and Vakarian a long time, right?”

“Yeah, we’re SR1 originals,” he shrugs. “Why?”

“So have the commander and Garrus always…?”

Joker doesn’t look up from his flight controls.

“Always been badass? Hell yeah.”

James doesn’t get anywhere.

“EDI,” he even resorts to one day. “You have access to the ship’s surveillance, right?”

“That is correct, Lieutenant Vega.”

“Okay, so, you’d be able to see if anyone was… you know… right?”

“If you’re asking about the sexual activities of the crew, Lieutenant Vega,” EDI says, “then yes, I have logged each romantic relationship aboard the Normandy and linked them to each crew member’s individual health logs. Shepard says this is a breach of privacy, but Professor Solus notes that it is necessary to ensure crewmember health. Therefore the moral ambiguity of the action is justified by the potential benefits of preventing sexually transmitted infections and monitoring vitals aboard the ship…”

She goes on and on about crew vitals and moral justifications.

So, great. Even the AI is complicit in stonewalling him.

Is it just like… a weird fling? Sexual tension from saving the world together so many times? Or are they together together?

And then one day he and Garrus end up in the mess hall together, bantering. It’s a friendly conversation, at first, seeing who can out-brag the other: who’s done bigger and better things (a ‘who-has-the-bigger-quad competition,’ as Wrex says).

“I kind of tracked down this rogue Spectre named Saren and stopped a Reaper from destroying the Citadel,” Garrus says.

James rolls his eyes. “That doesn’t count. You were with Shepard.”

But then Garrus gives James a look: his eyes gleam the way a predator’s would when their prey is trapped in a corner.

“That’s right, Vega,” Garrus smirks, and speaks slowly, dragging out his next words. “I’ve always been with Shepard. Right from the very beginning.”

James blinks. Once. Twice.

Has-- has everyone been trolling him--

Just so Garrus can rub in the fact that they’re together??

“Wait a minute,” he says.

But before he can ask anything else, the commander herself enters the room.

“What’s going on here, boys?”

Garrus smiles at her. “Oh, don’t mind us,” he says, eyeing James. “Vega and I were just...comparing our adventures.”

Shepard quirks her eyebrows. “Uh-huh. Well. I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

But before going about her business, she crosses the mess hall to the turian. “I have some free time later,” she says to him, her voice low enough that James knows it’s only meant for Garrus but loud enough for him to hear. “Meet me in my cabin after?”

“You know I’ll be there.”

She stands on her toes and kisses him on the mandible.

And when she walks away, James swears the damn turian is smirking knowingly at him.

[operation-619]

What if the reader is an alien that has the same power as superman and stronger than Homelander? The reader works at the Vought and doesn't know the corruption in it until Butcher told the truth. Homelander acts soft on her when they see each other, and Homelander was still confused about his feelings and put his ego shit first. I kinda wanna see Homelander battling the reader when she was trying to protect Ryan and Butcher while Maeve hasn’t arrived yet. She will make him bleed.

Even the strongest man Bleeds.

Edited 17-01-21

Homelander x Alien! Reader

Warning: mentions of blood, language, mentions of death and murder. Violence read at your own risk. 

Bold italics- inner dialogue, Bold- the past. 

WC - 3.1k

Masterlist

“The compound V is what makes them, supes. It’s not real and the golden boy, your Homelander, is the most corrupt motherfucker I have ever met. We need your help (Y/N). Please?” his voice was hoarse, the stress in his words were leaking onto his face. She could see the worry on his face, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe the men in front of her.

“You’re lying to me. Billy Butcher, you have a lot of nerve coming here, you and your gang are mortal enemies to Homelander right now. It’s not safe.” The muscular black man scoffed at her statement and leaned back against the seat. He seemed relaxed but his eyes constantly sweeping the place told (Y/N) otherwise.

“I swear, come back with me and I will show you everything. Please?” his eyes crinkled at the sides as he pulled his face into what looked like a poor attempt at a pleading face. (Y/N)’s mouth was just forming the word ‘NO’ when the man called Mother’s Milk chuckled and leaned forward.

He whispered, “he doesn’t ever say please,” and stood up from the booth and walked out of the café. Her mind was racing, weighing the pros and cons of her current situation. She considered whether or not they were just baiting her into a trap, but she was confident that she could make her way out of it. But it isn’t everyday that two men come waltzing into her favourite café, sit themselves down like they own the place and cough up a semi-convincing story about the corruption at Vought.

“Fuck it,” she whispered under her breathe, “fine I’ll come, it’s good to go out your comfort zone once in a while.” The smile on her face made Billy look at her with confusion painted on his rugged features. She stood, and gestured Butcher to show her the way, “just so you know, I don’t believe you at all.”

(Y/N) replayed her past movement in her head carefully over and over again, and yet she still could not believe how naïve she truly was. But here she is sat in a car that smells like Old Spice, waiting for Frenchie to get the speakers ready. She threw her head back against the headrest and released a shaky breath; everything she believed and knew had been a lie to her. Including John. ‘Oh dear god John, what have you done?’ Her thoughts were getting too loud, they were screaming at her asking how she could’ve been so stupid to not know.

‘How could you not know?’

‘It was right in front of your face you idiot’

‘Your really are a cunt!’

(Y/N) squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her temples, the stress of all the sudden information was taking a toll on the woman. Whimpering under her breath, she opened the car door and inhaled the cold air. Closing the car door, she leaned against it and watched as the group of friends conversed amongst themselves. The plan was to set off the sonic device and John to go over and destroy the source, and when he does Billy and Becca will drive and get Ryan. She still didn’t know why she was needed, (Y/N) was still processing the information she was given 48 hours ago.

“Okay, 15 minutes and everything will be all set,” the French accent let her know who was talking, but she wasn’t paying that much attention when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck arise.

“Get in the cars!” she whispered harshly, her arms waving about ushering the people back into the cars. (Y/N)’s breath shallowed once everyone was in their respected cars, she creeped forward and looked upwards, watching as the uncovered Nazi zoomed by. She vividly remembered the moment she had met that woman. (Y/N) never trusted that woman, something about the way her heart leaped when an opportunity to hurt someone arose. (Y/N) also didn’t like the way John was towards her, all bark, and no bite- vulnerable.

(Y/N) had never seen John so vulnerable around anyone except her.

The metallic taste in the air is what told (Y/N) that Stormfront had just flown by, the hair on the back of her neck relaxed and so did her posture. Walking over to Butcher, she waited until he rolled down his window before she spoke; “She’s seen the leaked news, my guess is she is going back to Vaught to see what caused that, fiasco.” She heard another window come down, not doubt Frenchie and the others.

“Was she alone?” without turning around she nodded. (Y/N)’s tongue ran across the bottom of her teeth before she turned around and faced the two cars, the cars holding the people that brought the truth to her naïve and simplistic eyes. “What exactly am I doing here? Because, you have the weapons, metaphorical and physical to defeat them. So please, tell me why I am here?” her eye followed the movements of the human bodies getting out of the cars. She could see the look on Becca’s face, and she didn’t like it.

“We’re gonna use ya.” Her (E/C) eyes shot towards MM, he stood there tall and domineering, with his hands on his hips. “Starlight, or Annie told us how soft Homelander is on you. And if things go south, you are our pawn.” (Y/N)’s hearts faltered.

“You humans are so pathetic. I mean, I am old. Older than all of you put together, so I have seen shit that no one can imagine. But the one thing that never changes is the utter stupidity of you homo-sapiens, the selfishness and carnage that I have experienced puts my species to shame.” (Y/N) paced back and forth, her anger evident as black veins started to appear under her (E/C) eyes.

“(Y/N). Please, MM didn’t mean it like that,”

“I did. I did mean it exactly how I said it Becca,” (Y/N) stalked the movement of the vigilante group. Her hearing was being drowned by the loudness of her beating hearts. She watched as Becca stepped forwards and stopped right in front of her.

“My son, who was conceived in the most- my son is in there. I don’t know if you have had children before. But I am not going anywhere until I have my boy in my arms. So please, help me.” (Y/N) flinched when she felt warm hands placed onto her cold shoulders, echoes of her past resonating inside her head. She now understood the look on Becca’s face, the look of a mother- a childless mother that no longer understands their purpose in life. Because she was one.

“Okay, but I want this on my terms.”

The little boy was screaming when (Y/N) landed behind John, crying for his mommy to wake up. She looked around, seeing the two women laying lifeless. She was too late to save them. The metallic taste in the air was getting stronger the closer she walked towards the pandemonium. The woman that confided in her mere moments ago, now lay with blood flowing out the cut in her neck. She watched as Butcher tried to stop the bleeding his white hands now crimson. His whole body covered in blood, soaking him to his soul.

Turning her head, (Y/N) saw John knelt next to Stormfront or what is left of her. The burnt woman mumbling in what sounded like German. “Ryan- ‘her attention went from the barbequed supe to John, ‘did you do this?”

“He didn’t mean to John,” she watched his whole-body flinch at the sound of her voice, she was happy to see his face finally, to get some sort of justification. But the feeling that shot through her body was the complete opposite, the look in his eyes reminded her of herself, and she didn’t like it.

“What are you doing here, I thought you left?” he surged forward and cupped her face, (Y/N) placed her hand on his chest and the other on his hand. She closed her eyes and inhaled her John deeply. “(Y/N), you have no idea, I. I don’t understand.” The beating of his heart grounded her for a moment, everything around them disappeared for a moment as the two of them were caught in their own bubble. But (Y/N) knew the bubble had to be popped. And she had the sharpest needle to do it with.

“John, what happened on the plane.” She was met with silence, the hands gripped her face harder, but her eyes still remained closed. “You left them all to die, didn’t you?”

“I did not leave them to die, I tried to save them. You know this (Y/N), why are you asking me this.” His mouth was talking but his heart told her the truth. Releasing a soft sigh, (Y/N) stepped back from John and finally opened her eyes. The bubble burst when his blue eyes met pitch black, her pupils had flooded the white out leaving a demonic presence behind, the black veins appeared all over her body pulsing violently.

“I know everything John, you have been lying to me. I trusted you, and you know that.” He started to mutter words that didn’t make sense to her, his hands anchored in his hair. (Y/N) watched as the great Homelander fell apart right in front of her, Earths favourite and mightiest hero crumbled under the pressure of words.

“Now let them go John. Please?” when his blue eyes met hers, the look rivalled hell itself. His jaw twitched, tongue pocking out to lick his bottom lip. He never broke eye contact with her, his eyes tracked her like predator to prey.  (Y/N) moved cautiously, never turning her back to John. Once she was stationed in front of Butcher and the kid, she placed her right arm out and behind her. (Y/N)’s ears were ringing, the power surging through her was immense and yet she felt weak. Weak, it wasn’t a word her species spoke, and she never heard of such a word until she came to earth. Vulnerable, weak, powerless, helpless, defenceless, and fragile; all these words are now part of her vocabulary, and she was feeling every single one of them as she looked at the man she had come to love.

(Y/N) had given him not just one but both of her hearts. He was the first person that offered her his hand when the rest of this new world beat her down with their harsh words, he taught her how the ways of her new life, he was her new life. (Y/N) may have been a celestial being, but she knew when something wasn’t right. At first, she thought John was just trapping her, the distance – although not physical – was fluctuating between then constantly; first John welcomed her with open arms, then he kept her at arms-length when they got too close and then the cycle repeated.

But through all the shit he had put her through, she was still there for him. until now.

“We are going to leave, and you will never trouble them again.” Her vision was sharp as she watched the wrecked man in front of her chose the option she hoped he wouldn’t.

“You know I can’t do that, he’s my son.” And with that he charged towards them, eyes red with hunger and rage. His path changed when he felt a fist connect with his cheek, sending him flying into a tree. His world spun, staggering up onto his feet he made eye contact with the shell of the woman he loves. Her black eyes reminded him of a starless night, an abyss that was forbidden to travel.

Something cold dripped onto his lip, and out of instinct his tongue licked it away, he thought nothing of it until the unfamiliar taste of blood slithered its way down his throat. His naked hand came up and delicately touched his nose, he hissed in pain when his calloused hand touch it, retracting his hand he look in bewilderment at the blood sat there taunting him on his hand.

“You broke my nose,” his voice was meagre but loud enough for her to hear the vulnerability in it.

She turned to Butcher and the child hurriedly telling them , “get away from here, quickly,” and before she could turn back around, she was pinned to the muddy floor. Her face caked in the mixture of blood and dirt; she could feel John’s breath on her neck. Without a second thought she flung her head back and used the distraction to spin around and wrap her hand around the heroes throat. (Y/N) paid no mind to the thoughts pounding in her head, she wasn’t about to let them stop her from – whatever she thought she was doing.

“(Y/N) … (Y/N). please.” the air around them froze, she wanted answers but standing here with her hand around the nations saviour’s throat was not the way she needed to get them. “You lied to me John, the one person who promised to never lie to me. You betrayed my trust.” She threw him to the ground.

“You had me working for monsters. They never helped people!” the wind started to pick up around them, her (Y/H/C) hair danced ferociously around her face, a face that was covered in black veins pulsating in rage. (Y/N)’s head snapped to the right when she heard a twig snap, her vision was met with Butcher and the kid watching her in astonishment and fear. The kid was hiding behind Butcher, just his head poking out watching (Y/N) beat up his father. And god did he look like John. 

(Y/N)’s body moved before she could even realise what was happening, her left hand came up to stop the blow coming her way and then she knelt down, using John’s momentum against him, she throw him over her shoulder. But the outcome wasn’t in her favour as he managed to land on his feet. And then he was charging at her. Punches were thrown and bodied flung everywhere, (Y/N) couldn’t bring herself to kill John, but it felt good to hurt him.

 “He’s my son (Y/N). He needs me!” his words were met with a foot to his chest.

 “No one need you John, not after what you did,” her elbow jabbed into his stomach, causing his arms to release her waist, she looked at his body lying pathetically on the forest floor. Americas strongest man, the embodiment of patriotism and pride had fallen to his knees.

 “(Y/N), you have and always will need me’, his blue eye sparkled with malicious intent, ‘no one wanted a freak roaming our home, but because I stood by your side, they welcomed you. But the moment I’m gone. You will be nothing. But a monster to the people you love so much.” Blood came flying out of his mouth as he spat his words at her. His armour had crumbled and all he had left was his words.

 “Stop” the alien smiled at the hero on his knees, her eyes only moved off his body when she felt a presence next to her. John started to get up, but (Y/N) swiftly moved forward, wrapping her arm around his neck, and gripping his hair with her free hand. She forced him to stay down, on his knees.

 Maeve came into sight, moving cautiously like she was afraid he would brake from his bond. She stopped when she was right in front of the disgraced hero. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” (Y/N) could feel John shaking in her grip. The two looked at each other in silence for a while, their eye contact unbreakable. (Y/N) spared a glance at Butcher, who was still stood in the same place.

 “You’re going to let them go,” the man in question scoffed but immediately fell silent when (Y/N) tightened her grip on his hair. He cleared his throat, moving subtlety before answering the Queen. 

“And if I don’t?” his ego spoke louder than the words coming out of his mouth, he was confident that everything was going his way. Both Maeve and (Y/N) knew that. But the moment Maeve held up the recording of the plane (Y/N) could physically feel The Homelander admitting defeat. The cries of the passengers echoed through her head, along with the bullshit lie the man in her arms fed her. ‘there was nothing we could do, the terrorist had too much control I tried to save them (Y/N). I tried.’

“You’re going to stop hunting Starlight, you’re going to leave me and Elena alone. Or I release this.” there was no room for argument, and he knew that. But he had to open his mouth. “If you do that, I’ll destroy everything and everyone.” (Y/N)’s grip tightened, she dragged his head backward and brought her lips to his bloody ear. Her voice was cold, no hint of vulnerability, no hint of emotion. 

She could feel his bones quaking under her arm as she tightened her hold on the man she had come to love. The man that made everything feel less painful, the man that she called a true friend. But standing here in the middle of a forest with two dead women, a sobbing child and a emotionless man; she realised that what her people said about the human race was true. And John had proven that to her. It took everything in (Y/N) not to simply break his neck but she wanted him to hurt. 

She wanted him to bleed.

 So, she looked up at Maeve and signalled her to get the two boys out of here, she wanted to be alone with him. she willed herself to calm down, she knew she wasn’t in the right headframe to talk to John because if she did so now, his head would be lying two feet way from his body. So, she whispered to the man calmly, hearts no longer racing with hatred or fear. She let the venom in her voice speak for itself as she whispered to Homelander. But she let man she loved hear the pain in her voice, because the man she was holding was not her John, her John had died the moment Butcher and Mother’s Milk sat down across from her in the café. However, (Y/N) had comfort as she let the ten simple words leave her mouth, because she knows that no matter how much Compound V is pumping through his body. Even the Strongest man bleeds.

 “If you do that Homelander, I will make you bleed.”

|=|=|

Hello beautiful people, I hope you enjoyed my little piece, feel free to leave comments about what you liked and didn’t like, I’m okay with a bit of constructive criticism I believe it will help me get better, and if you want anything else.

[quercusfloreal]

Le 3e Gédéon

I was hesitating to talk about it but here we go. May I introduce you to the manga "Le 3e Gédéon".

Warning long post

What it's about ?

Manga in 8 volumes, it tells the story of Gédéon Aymé who dreams of becoming a deputy to the Estates General to save the people from misery. George, the Duke of Loire and his former comrade, also seeks to change the system, but instead use violence to achieve his goal. This is going to be a story where the two characters will fight each other, one wanting peace and peaceful change, the other a radical and violent change.

What did I think of it ?

I found the story good. It manages to mix fiction and French revolution. It's full of inconsistencies but somehow it works. However I wouldn’t advise this manga to everyone. There is psychological and physical torture, gore and nudity. The images can sometimes be very crude.

What about historians characters ?

Well, we have the most badass portrayal of Louis I've ever seen in my life, he’s able to detect the slightest lie. Marie Antoinette may seem shallow, but she knows perfectly well how to play her charms to turn the tables in her favor. Their couple is interesting because each of them can't really love the other completely. Madame Roland is an ambitious woman who we learn had a daughter with Gédéon. Saint-Just is the slightly confused teenager who will eventually grow up and assert himself. Charles Philippe, the sociopathic Count of Artois, wants his brother's place and Elisabeth, the king's sister, wants Marie-Antoinette's place.

But what about Robespierre ?

I said in an old conversation that Maxime had daddy issues. Let me explain. One of the main themes of this manga is family and father figures. We learn that Gideon's father is the duke and he has exchanged his son's place with George so that Gédéon can be closer to the people. George has a real grudge against the duke because when Gédéon will be older, he should have become a servant again. But by trapping Gideon he kept his place.

Maxime has a real grudge against his father and George will use this information to manipulate him.

The first time we hear about Robespierre is in the first chapter. George is looking for easily manipulated men who can help him destroy the old system. Saint-Just, recruited by George, tells him that Max would be a potential candidate. Maxime is invited to George's house and has to save a former peasant, now a bandit, from the death penalty because he attacked George. Of course Maxime succeeds but it was a test. Of course, George can’t deny Maxime's skills but I believe it’s hearing the conversation between Maxime and Gédéon about Gédéon’s daughter that made him decide :

Robespierre : Shouldn’t you start trying to be a good family man ? You should leave the Assembly to single people like me !

We see Robespierre again later in a rather amusing scene with Gédéon. Gédéon, drunk, says Saint-Just's erotic writings told the boy is a virgin and is amused. And who is the virgin in the same bar as Gédéon? Boom Maxime !

Their following conversation will confirm that Louis XVI is the father of the kingdom.

Yeah, but when does George act ? Well, Gédéon sees Maxime again when the Estates General stagnate and there is a talk about creating a new assembly. Since Gideon is now part of the King's police force, Maxime asks him if he can meet the King discreetly to solve the problem. But without clearly knowing it, George is already starting to manipulate Maxime.

Keep in mind the puppet representation. It will be important for the next step. Because it’s present when Maxime's words contradict a part of his thoughs and when this thoughs takes controls.

After Gédeon refuses to join Saint-Just, Maxime explains to him, if Gédéon continues to hang out with the royal family, there will be repercussions. And if Gédéon tries to find his lost daughter and make politics at the same time, he will lose both. Because for Maxime, children are burden to their parents. Maxime explains his childhood, his dead mother and his father who left. He is resentful of himself because he believes it was his behavior as a child that made his father disappear, that he was a burden to him. This is why he doesn’t want children.

But underneath this justification, even if he pretends the opposite, he has hatred towards this father who abandoned him.

Gédéon : You have the right to hate your father.

Robespierre : In this case, I have the right to kill him, right ?

On the day of the meeting with the king, on the way to the palace, Maxime admits to Gédéon that his father sends him letters. In this letters, his father talks about his new family. Of course he knows that this is probably a trap, but we feel that it’s a sensitive subject for him.

Robespierre : Over my shoulder, I saw myself when I was ten years old.

Then comes one of my favorite scenes, a scene of tension between Louis XVI and Robespierre. Louis explains there are three locks on the table, if he thinks Maxime is lying, he will break one of them.

Robespierre : Since that time, I have always respected you as a father.

Louis XVI : One...You were warned, lies don't work. Either you don't respect us, or you don't respect the concept of a father.

After two, Maxime admits being one of the instigators of the problems at the Estates General and to make it stop, Necker must be dismissed because he makes promises that the nobility will never accept. Louis accept to think about it.

And here comes the chapter where I most wanted seeing George to lose and die painfully because his plan is totally twisted. Maxime receives a letter from his father who tells him that Henriette might not have died if he had been there, implying that it is Maxime's fault that he left. Then Maxime sees in front of his house a woman abused by a man. He threatens to take him to court but the guy explains that Maxime has nothing to say about the correction of a husband to his wife, named is Henriette...Oh boy !

The next day, Maxime proposes her to leave her husband, that he can help her by offering her a place in the convent of Arras. There, she would be safe. But she refuses because her husband will find her and she is unworthy of his help. Maxime feels unable to do anything. He remembers his dying sister. In the evening, another intermission, but this time Maxime decides to act. He intervenes until the girl confesses her father married her.

At this words, Maxime becomes mad and releases all the hatred he has accumulated towards his father. George's plan to make him forget any peaceful method succeeded

Robespierre now lets his hate guide him. If Louis is the father of the kingdom and the father of his subjects, then he must pay too. He goes to see Necker, tells him to accept his resignation to become a martyr and harangues the assembly to join the people and take up arms. He explains the first attack will be at the Invalides, then the people need to take care of the Bastille afterwards, because it is a royal symbol.

Camille : Maxime notice me !

Gédéon doesn’t agree with Robespierre, he thinks it’s necessary to think of a more peaceful method because it risks having deaths. He no longer recognizes his friend

Robespierre : I assure you Gédéon, I haven’t changed. Gentlemen ! Listen up ! We've been trying to find a resolution through dialogue for a long time! Alas, all our efforts have been in vain...a pure waste of time...and why !?

Robespierre : You too, Gédéon, I bet you've seen abused children love their fathers so much that they fall apart. Gédéon: Yes...

We see him again only after the march of the women on Versailles. Gédéon tells him that George is the one who sent him the letters and played on his dislike for his father to kill the king. He wants to find the wise and peaceful Robespierre.

Gédéon : And this other one love his father.

But Maxime does not believe him. His hatred is still too strong. When another lawyer asks Maxime to save a man, Maxime takes time to think, because the man looks like his father. It’s the words of Saint-Just that convince him to give up this man because he had previously seen the damage caused by the Duke of Loire on his sons George and Gédéon.

Robespierre : He’s a complete stranger, there is no doubt about it !! Saint-Just : Wouldn't it be better if he were really your father? If he were condemned to death, you would be delivered from him.

Saint-Just : Destroying everything to build a new order, that's what I think revolution is !

Finally, Maxime is released when the king died. Gédéon has found the death certificate of his father, confirming Maxime has sent an innocent man to death. Maxime seems to be happy on the day of the king's death but when he saw George and reconised him as the girl he tried to save, everything gets destroyed. He cries because after all he has done, he cannot go back.

Saint-Just embraces Maxime who he’s crying : I will always remain at your side, until death separates us.

The last time we see him is when marie-Antoinette curses him and other revolutionaries at her execution;

I reconize Saint-Just, Robespierre, Desmoulins, Marat ? (right middle), Danton, Hébert, Mme Roland, Augustin ? (bottom right)

[leejungchans]

— first meetings.

juliet’s masterlist

note: obviously i don’t know what exactly happened that day at mama/award shows in general, so this is mainly based on my own imagination!!

words in bold are spoken in english!!

set on december 5, 2019

summary: juliet catches the eye of a certain someone at mama 2019, and got to meet him all thanks to one jung wooyoung.

a/n: 👀

“That ended way too soon,” Juliet sighs contentedly to Jongho, leaning into his shoulder. Though being exhausted physically from the long day and their performances, her heart has never felt this full.

If you told her a few years ago that she’d be invited to attend MAMA she’d surely laugh in disbelief, but here they are—having performed and received a award in front of one of the largest crowds she’s ever seen with eight of the most important people in her life.

If this is all a dream, Juliet never wants to wake up.

Jongho rests his head on hers. “Yeah,” he says softly, “it feels like... we really made it.”

“You didn’t feel that when we were on tour?” she teases.

“Of course I did, but you know what I mean.” Juliet nods against the crook of his neck. “I can’t believe we’d ever in be the same room as that many big names in the industry, you know?”

She hums. “We’ve come a long way.”

Despite the tender moment between the two youngest members, it’s chaos all around them as their staff hastily packs everything—props, makeup, accessories, costumes, the works—back into suitcases and boxes as they prepare to leave the venue.

“Where are you going?” Jongho asks when Juliet shifts to get up.

“Washroom,” she answers, and he nods before shooing her away jokingly.

Laughing, she slips out of ATEEZ’s waiting room and into the hallway. In her hoodie and matching sweatpants under a long coat, Juliet would’ve blended in with the staff members rushing around to wrap everything up if it weren’t for her styled hair and glittery makeup, both of which she decided to keep on until they get back to the dorms. Just to prolong the magical feeling from tonight.

Just as she’s about to go into the washroom, she hears someone—definitely Wooyoung—shout her name from behind.

“Found you!” Wooyoung, dressed as casually as she is, says gleefully as he pulls her in the opposite direction. “Thank me later, okay?”

“For what? For abducting me outside the women’s restroom?”

Wooyoung snorts. “There’s a good reason—”

“I don’t think there’s ever a good enough justification for stopping someone from going to the toilet! Besides, our managers said we have to leave soon!”

“Yes, there is! Because I’m taking you to meet your favourite seniors!”

Juliet stops in the middle of the crowded hallway. “Wait, who?” she asks suspiciously with narrowed eyes.

Wooyoung’s eyes practically shine when he answers, “SEVENTEEN-sunbaenim!”

“Huh? Why would they want to—Yow! If you keep pulling that hard my arm’s gonna fall off!” she whines as he continues to tug her down the corridor. “How do you even know them?”

“I ran into Seungkwan-sunbaenim in the washroom, and he complimented our performance before saying he’d love to meet more of our members!” Wooyoung explains, oblivious to the way Juliet’s eyes widen. “I was gonna go to our waiting room to grab all of you, but then I realised we probably have to leave soon and was about to turn back when I saw you! This is it!” he finishes excitedly, stopping in front of a door with a label saying ‘SEVENTEEN’ attached to it.

He’s about to knock on the door when her hand shoots up to catch his fist. “Wait! I can’t go in there!” she suddenly protests. “It’s going to be so awkward.”

Wooyoung frowns confusedly. “Huh? Why? We’re just gonna introduce ourselves and stay for a few minut—oh. Oh. Are you still embarrassed by what happened during the show?” he teases, giggling at the way her gaze averts. “Aigoo, it’s going to be okay! I promise you it wasn’t a big deal.”

“She’s amazing,” Juliet leans closer to Wooyoung to murmur dreamily as they watch Chungha’s performance, eyes not leaving the small screen placed in front of their seats. “Everything about this is incredible.”

“I know,” Wooyoung agrees, equally as starstruck. “Also, did you notice we’re sitting in front of SEVENTEEN-sunbaenim?” he asks in a much quieter voice. “Don’t look, though! Act natural.”

“I wasn’t even gonna look!” she complains before whispering, “but yeah, I wanted to tell you but then the show started and I didn’t want them to hear me.”

“You don’t think they can hear us now, right?”

“I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure the music and crowd are too loud for that.”

Wooyoung hums in acknowledgement before they continue to pay full attention to the performance, Juliet mouthing along to the lyrics and subtly doing the key points of the dance.

She gasps quietly when the dance break starts, fully entranced by Chungha’s performance and decides she wants a better view of the choreography, so she cranes her head to find one of the big screens located all around the dome.

The moment she turns to look behind her for said screens, her eyes meet those of SEVENTEEN’s maknae. If she weren’t so startled, she would’ve found the situation more amusing from the way both of their eyes widened before quickly looking away, and she feels the embarrassment burn hot within her as she decides to stick to watching the smaller screen in front of her instead.

“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asks as Chungha’s performance ends, noticing how Juliet had stiffened up, a stark contrast to her relaxed form from when they were enjoying the other performances.

“Come closer,” she mutters, gesturing with her hand for him to lean in before whispering, “I was trying to watch the big screen just now and accidentally made eye contact with Dino-sunbaenim for a few seconds.”

Wooyoung snorts. “I swear, these things only happen to you, dummy. What happened after that?”

“I turned the frick back around, of course!” Juliet whispers back furiously. “It was so embarrassing.”

“If someone caught that on camera and puts it on YouTube or Twitter or whatever, I’m never letting you live that down.”

Juliet groans and buries her head in her hands, ignoring Wooyoung’s giggles and San’s curious whine of “What? What were you guys talking about?”

The sound of firm knocking snaps Juliet out of her thoughts.

“Jesus, Wooyoungie, you’re going to wake the dead knocking like that,” she mutters in a pitiful attempt to distract herself from the pounding in her chest. Truly, she doesn’t know how Wooyoung handles meeting new people with so much ease. She could never.

“It’s them! I got it!” A voice says from inside the room, one that unmistakably belongs to Seungkwan, calls out. There’s a few seconds of hurried footsteps before the door is thrown open, revealing the beaming main vocalist of SEVENTEEN.

“Hello,” Wooyoung and Juliet say in unison, bowing to their senior.

“Oh, there’s no need for that!” Seungkwan says kindly, inviting them into the room. Juliet sticks close to her member as various staff members crane their necks to observe the newcomers, hoping that hiding behind Wooyoung will make her less visible to everyone. Thankfully, the staff quickly turns back to their work, paying them no further attention as the trio move further into the waiting room.

Juliet feels like her ears are on fire, barely registering Wooyoung explain to Seungkwan that he didn’t have time to bring the others. Then she realises who Seungkwan is leading them to, and her heart drops.

Is it too late to run away?

Apparently not, as Wooyoung seems to have noticed her slowing footsteps and proceeds to gently pull her along by the sleeve of her oversized hoodie. She wonders where the nearest hole to bury herself in is when Seungkwan calls out to two of his members, and she’s sure her cheeks are bright red when Vernon and Chan look up at the approaching trio.

“Look who I brought,” Seungkwan sings as the two ATEEZ members murmur greetings before introducing themselves.

Juliet thinks she’s about to pass out when Chan gets up and offers his seat to her. “No, no, you don’t have to,” she says shyly, frantically waving her hands, “we won’t be staying long anyways.”

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, “there are spare chairs right there.”

She feels a small nudge on her other side, turning her head in that direction to find Wooyoung wriggling his brows at her. Utterly mortified, she looks away from her member to thank Chan profusely instead, before hesitantly sitting in the chair he was occupying just a minute ago.

Is it just her, or is the room getting unbearably hot? Taking a deep breath, she removes her coat and drapes it over the back of the chair while Chan drags over two more chairs for him and Wooyoung.

“Are you okay?” Vernon asks worriedly from beside her, noting her red cheeks and ears. “I can turn down the heat, if you want.”

“Oh, no. I’m good, thank you,” Juliet replies sheepishly, wringing her fingers together nervously. “I just turn red really easily when embarrassed... because... this is... kinda awkward.”

He laughs good-naturedly. “We don’t bite,” he assures, “congratulations on your award, by the way.”

“Thank you, you too. We loved your performance,” she says genuinely. “We were all jamming out back there.”

“Ah, I wish we were there to see yours. We were preparing for ours during it so I only caught snippets of it. You were also the one giving the speech in English earlier, right?”

“Yeah, I’m from Australia so I usually take care of the English speeches.”

“Explains the accent.”

“I get that a lot,” Juliet says wryly, eliciting chuckles from the both of them.

“Yah, are you two excluding us because we can’t speak English?”

“Yeah!” Wooyoung chimes in in support of Seungkwan, “what were you two talking about?”

Juliet cocks a brow at him. “Are you sure you want to know?”

To her delight, Vernon plays along. “What if we tell you that we’ve been gossiping about you three the entire time?”

“What’s this about gossip I hear?” Jeonghan cheekily butts in, appearing in the space between Juliet and Wooyoung. She squeaks from surprise, and looks up to find him already grinning down at her. “Hi.”

“H-hello, Jeonghan-sunbaenim.”

Seungkwan bats him away. “Hyung! You’re scaring the poor girl. Also, this zone is for maknaes only, shoo shoo!”

Juliet smiles, the scene in front of her reminding her of ATEEZ’s sibling-like dynamic. Jeonghan’s presence lessens the awkward energy even more, and soon she can feel the tenseness dissipate from her body, starting to genuinely relax as she engages with the others. Sadly, their animated conversation only lasts for a couple more minutes when Wooyoung gets a message from Jongho asking for his whereabouts and if he’s seen Juliet.

“Oops, I think they’re looking for us,” he tells her, sounding completely unapologetic (though she can’t really blame him this time). “We should probably go.”

Juliet agrees, watching in amusement when Seungkwan asks for Wooyoung’s number because this is probably the most starstruck she’s ever seen Wooyoung look.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” He rejoices on the way back to their dressing room. “I got Seungkwannie-hyung’s number, and you got to meet the others! You had fun!”

“Okay, I’ll admit that it was pretty f—”

Juliet suddenly stops cold, cutting herself off with a loud gasp as her hands fly up to cover her mouth from shock.

Wooyoung’s eyes widen in alarm as his head whips around frantically. “What? What’s wrong? What did you see?”

“I... I think I left my coat in their room. I put it on the back of the chair and... forgot to take it when we left.”

He blinks at her owlishly while her words sink in. Then he starts cackling.

“Stop! This isn’t funny!” Juliet wails. “What do I do?”

“What do you mean? Go back and grab it, of course!”

“Can’t you do it for me?” she pleads, giving him her best puppy eyes.

Wooyoung scoffs. “No way. That’d be rude. I’ll wait for you here while you go get it.”

“You’re actually the worst,” she groans, though they both know she doesn’t mean it.

He pats her on the back. “You’ll thank me sometime in the future.”

Juliet frowns at his cryptic tone before heading back to SEVENTEEN’s room with an exaggerated sigh that she made sure Wooyoung heard. The humiliation is already starting to build in her gut, creating a churning feeling in her stomach. Talk about leaving a questionable impression, she thinks dejectedly. Must she always be so forgetful?

“Juliet-ssi?”

Something within her crumbles like a tower built from toothpicks when she glances up to find herself face-to-face with none other than Lee Chan.

“I—um... you left your coat,” he says quickly, not quite meeting her eyes as he hands her the garment.

Juliet accepts it hurriedly with a bow, hugging the coat to her chest tightly for some semblance of comfort. From what, she doesn’t know. Probably the sheer embarrassment. “Thank you, I was... on my way to go get it.”

“Right, I... I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah... okay... thank you again.”

The two of them exchange one final nod before turning away and speed-walking in opposite directions.

She’s definitely changing her name and moving to Mars. Juliet Baek? Never heard of her.

“What did they say?” Wooyoung asks curiously when Juliet approaches him. His bewilderment increases tenfold when the girl strides right past him with rushed steps instead of stopping.

He jogs to catch up with her, raising a hand to poke at her cheek. “Aw, why are you blushing again? What happened?” he presses on with a coo, obviously teasing the maknae.

“Oh, nothing. I’m just never gonna show my face in this industry ever again.”

a/n: on today’s episode of the boys not letting juliet breathe 💀💀💀💀 bro if this happened to me i’d google map the nearest cliff to fling myself off of 😭 10k awkward-acquaintances-to-lovers slowburn let’s go 😼😼 please leave feedback and chat with me!! as always thank you for reading and take care 💕

[yandere-daydreams]

Yo, if requests are still open, i don’t suppose you’d be willing to do something with yandere Jamil, even if it is just general thoughts and head-canons, to celebrate his birthday? 🎂

While I should probably avoid posting two birthday related prompts back to back, I can’t resist the temptation to lay out a few ideas I have about everyone’s favorite redeemed-but-unfriendly antagonist. Scarabia's just a weakness for me, in general.

Yandere!Jamil Viper Headcanons

TW: Kidnapping, Captivity, Physical Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Gaslighting, Emphasis on Power Dynamics, Mentions of Injury, Mentions of Mind-Break. 

~Jamil’s a caretaker, through and through. He’s a dozen other, less pleasant things, but he still wants to be the first person you run to, the first person you ask for help, the first person you can let yourself rely on, and more importantly, the only person you need. It’d almost be sweet, if he could stop himself from taking so much more than he bothered to give.

~He’s not the type to want to get his hands dirty, but he’s not the type to avoid it, either, especially when he’s come to care so deeply about someone so easily guided. He’s thorough, too, and what he lacks in charm, he makes up for in resolve. It doesn’t matter if his honeyed words fall flat, if his praise sounds more patronizing than pleasing, not when he takes every opportunity to prove that he’s the only person who’ll bother giving you anything at all, that he’s the only person who means it, even if you doubt he’s being as genuine as he’d like you to believe he is. But, it’s easy to trust Jamil. He’s not kind and he’s certainly not generous, so it doesn’t make sense that he’d lie to you. Why would he? You couldn’t be special enough to warrant that kind of effort. Or, you won’t think you are, not after he’d done working his way into your head.

~He’s not above using his Unique Magic on you during this period, either. He’d rather avoid it, but if he has to pull you to the side and ask you to do something a little mean to that friend of yours (the one that he keeps warning you about and the one that you refuse to distance yourself from), then so be it. And if you’re sobbing over another lost companion, another botched presentation, another awful thing you said that you just can’t seem to remember, then that’s just the price both of you have to pay. And you’re always so much more reasonable after you two have your little ‘bonding sessions’, so much more appreciative of everything he does for you. Bloodshot eyes and a few nights lost to crying on the shoulder of the only person who truly has the right to fulfill that position isn’t that bad, when you put it in perspective.

~Isolating you, turning himself into the center of your world, making you his before you can even realize what’s going on - that might keep him satisfied for a while. He’s possessive, if nothing else, and while having you cling to him voluntarily might be nice, he can’t let himself relax, can’t let himself calm down, can’t let himself indulge in the power imbalance he’s created until he’s the only person in your life, the man you attach yourself to because you have to, you need to, you’re too afraid to do anything else. The only difference your attitude makes is how gentle he tries to be as he takes you somewhere far, far away from anyone who’d ever try to help you. If you’ve been good and subservient, he might slip something into your drink, trick you into falling under Snake Whisper and give you the courtesy of waking up chained into a situation you won’t be able to change, but if you were cautious and suspicious and stubborn, he’ll let himself have a little more fun with it. Just imagine the look of your face as your closest friend binds your hands behind your back, gagging you if you scream too loudly and never trying to treat you with care, not when you refuse to come along peacefully. You’ll try to fight back, and you’ll fail. You shouldn’t be surprised when that becomes a lasting theme in your captivity.

~Jamil’s reasoning is simple, compared to the complicated, accusatory, over-done justifications other Yanderes from his dorm are willing to make. He’s been a servant all his life, he’s been powerless for all his life, and all he wants is something malleable and soft that will wear its collar and sit at his feet and trip over itself in an effort to please him, even if he does have to provide a few incentives, first. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still painfully attentive when it comes to your upkeep, but it feels more like a ply for dominance than an actual show of devotion. Sure, he’ll spend hours wrestling you into his lap so he can comb your hair, but when he goes on and on about how you probably wouldn’t be able to do this by yourself, the gesture loses its sincerity. He’ll take the time to feed you by hand, but he’ll make you feel like he’d be perfectly happy letting you starve if you don’t start cooperating sometime soon. He’ll dress you up in the finest silks, but any tear, any rip, any loose thread will become evidence of your incapability, evidence that you can barely stop yourself from destroying the things you like. It’s caring, but it’s far from loving. It keeps you alive, but it hardly makes you feel that way.

~It doesn’t help that he’s so strict. He’s not delusional, he knows that with his status and his history, he wouldn’t be able to slither his way out of someone discovering his… questionable love-life. Of course, you’re always restrained in one way or another, kept in an unused wing of the dorm or his own room, depending on how understanding Kalim is to his friend’s plight, but he wants you to be too afraid to run, too afraid to scream if there’s a chance someone besides your captor might hear. He’s not delusional, but he’s not exactly empathetic, either. In his perspective, he’s being lenient by just giving you a few cuts or spraining your ankle, a non-fatal wound despite what your whining might imply. He doesn’t take any joy in making you bleed, he’d rather have you begging for his attention or crying out the frustration he’s felt so many times, but he knows that this is necessary. He knows it a part of the process, even if he does get carried away, from time to time. It’s not his fault that you always seem a little more willing to let him hold you afterward. You just get so timid, sometimes. Some people might say that’s worthy of a punishment, by itself.

~It’s not all bad. He takes care of you and he tries to make you comfortable, when you behave. If you’re the good little lover he wants to you to be, he’ll be happy to treat you like exactly that - a lover. A lover that can’t exist without him, sure, but a living, breathing person who probably knows when they’d like to be held or attended to or kissed. But, that’s a privilege he can always take away. If you’re bad, if you treat him like a villain, then you shouldn’t be surprised when he starts to act like one. His punishments go from a necessary precaution to a display of sadism. Showing him affection isn’t an optional activity, anymore, not when the consequences for shying away from his touch are so painful. His treatment of you depends on your treatment of him… most of the time. He’s only human, you can’t expect him not to have his moments of indulgence.

~He just wants something he can own, something he can have and bend to his whims without having to worry about what anyone else has to say about it. You’ll let him have that, won’t you? I mean, he’s worked so hard, and he’s waited so long… The least you could do is break quickly, rather than force him to pry you apart piece by piece.

[aks3raao1]

Me, to Luja: So tell me about yourself

Luja: No

Me: ...ma'am I need to write the story—

Luja: Good luck <3

[now that I do think of it, ALTERNATIVE's main duo that's established right at the beginning is literally a chiller but edgier Katsuki and way worse sUrViVe Nagito genderbends]

~~~~~~

Luja Sen, she/her

Anyways, Luja and Romila are friends from middle school (the story starts with the beginning of their high school at AoS (Academy of the Specialised) which was essentially founded by Nyx). Luja gains her Specialisation (Ferrokinesis: The Ability to bend metal) at the age of twelve, so she has it for a lesser time period than Romila.

Luja primarily wants to become a scientist. Her family is happy with that, because it's praised and everything, especially in our society.

She has a gifted child superiority complex. Being a gifted child + Specialised means that she hardly had many friends in school. Her family had tried to get her to socialize....which didn't go down too well.

She believes that most people are annoying because they waste too much time on useless things like gossiping and what not, which she never showed much interest in and doesn't like to be dragged into those nonsense.

She is friends with Romila since they do share the same taste in stuff and were the only Specialised ones in their class. And they kinda stuck together for most of middle school and went into high school.

She has a problem when it comes to seeing Romila since she tends to see her bad parts and is like, "It's a phase" considering that it's not necessarily affecting her. Romila doesn't get too cranky with her since she fascinates her, with her passion™ for science. Also because she isn't all self sacrifice UwU.

Luja cares for her own self above others (but tends to put Romila pretty close to that hierarchy, which is why she's one of the only two Romila trusts during the Mansion of Death (the other person is Kratanos)) however she also does want to keep what friends she has and is generally caring towards them.

She has a genuine love for science and loves to discover how things work and why, and her favourite facet is Physics. She does want to invent things and honestly just make stuff easier for the Specialised who face a LOT of issues, especially when it comes to amenities since the government is an ass about accomodations and they gained the Fundamental Rights like ten years or so ago in the ALTERNATIVE timeline. And they gain an additional right ("The body won't be harmed for science") when they graduate from school, after signing a contract that they dedicate themselves to helping the government when called upon. (The whole contract is stupid and basically oppresses them more especially the punishment for not abiding by it).

With her goal of becoming a scientist, she wants to use her talents to make accomodations specifically for them so that she could have done something.

The things she fears the most is failure. Failing as in being unable to accomplish her goals. She is afraid of it because it's an unknown variable that's constantly haunted her and she's working hard for it to never reach her.

I suppose there's a way for her to confront that fear during the Mid terms at AoS where she essentially "loses" in the practicals due to her......teamwork issues.

Everyone thinks of her as stuck up and isn't interested to listen to her much and since she views the others as annoying people with annoying habits, she tends to fail to regulate them, causing Romila to win instead (yes, it's THAT unfortunate of a situation) in their match, which causes her to review a LOT of things and she tries to see what caused her to lose after having a severe breakdown.

She develops an inferiority complex in respect to Romila and then spends a long time wondering where she went wrong.

Rena (who somehow clung to her) tries to cheer her up but gets turned back halfway, but she still stays on and Luja is like, "Wtf" until she sees Romila going entirely off the deep end (she presents an interesting contrast to how Koldin sees Romila as well, she sees Romila's behavior and considers it as a justification for her own self....she uses Romila to justify herself a lot (since if you asked Romila, Luja was more or less fine according to her since she wasn't being a doormat and stood up for herself) while Koldin sees Romila as the reason he should cling onto his own stuff) and realises that she could be on the path to destruction herself and accepts Rena's help and tries to be more open to others which leads to the Mid terms parallels in the Archenemy of Society arc where she "succeeds" instead and manages to get the class together enough to escape the situation.

However it doesn't mean that her fear of failure has entirely vanished into the blue, she just reviews the ways she can fail better now and works around it to avoid it and has more confidence in her own self. But she is still scared of failing and would love to avoid that more than anything. However she's chiller after that.

Her intelligence is more or less on par with both Romila and Kratanos, making them the three main strategists in the final battle against the bigots (which is basically a rerun of the Mansion of Death situation but way way worse and fucked up and has different leads to it).

....

The thing is that, no matter what I do, she winds up feeling like one dimensional/repetitive, which is something I am trying to amend about all the characters (I mean, I had to revamp a lot of characters so it will probably take me a long long time to actually get to writing.........sigh besides she stands up like a cardboard amongst people (I mean, you have Romila and Kratanos with extremely complicated storylines and then you have her. Just there))

So the main question is how to make her more interesting as a character and on par with the rest while still keeping her character flaws and personality?

I think the easiest way to go abt this is to view her as a sassy Bakugo. They have the main points in common. They're salty, don't like to socialise, feel inferior to a certain someone while still having some semblance of confidence and a terrible fear of failure

Now as much as I hate to compare your character to another one, it makes it a lot easier to have them become - as my English teacher would say - more. So I am sorry if this comes off as offensive-

For Bakugo, he became interesting by playing a big part in the mc's main story and we do get a few scenes where his vulnerability is shown. I assume it's the same with your character but...what rlly ties the knot for me when it comes to Katsuki is the fact that his problems...are more than just an inferiority/superiority complex. His whole thing stems from background especially (*cough* abusive mom *cough*) and the fact that he's not the main character (or rather that the story isn't being told in his perspective).

These facts make us over think and want more of him. The mystery draws us in which is why I think Luja's character is so perfect for someone in the background. She doesn't like to reveal things abt herself and is pretty dismissive to most things on top of that (plainly just salty). Her character rlly draws you in and the best way to portray those kinds of characters is through another character. Ofc, you'd have to get to their POV eventually but it's important to note that most of the details should come from someone else's POV (an observer, if you will) instead of info dumping and starting straight with hers. A character that's mysterious with a very simple yet relatable story attracts a LOT more attention and interest when seen from someone else's perspective than when you kickstart it from theirs.

Ofc, if u are planning (or already have) started the story from her POV, that would be a bit problematic in terms of interest. But not a train wreck. This is where my other point comes in. The point of making a character have more than one problem

Different ppl as well as characters have a main problem but also different ones, no matter what way you look at it. It seems that even you are confused with all ur character's ins and outs (dw, we've all been there... I am still there tbh) and a solution to that is backtracking a bit and looking at their life from the very beginning in HEAVY detail (like more than u already did). Think abt what other trauma could have been caused, what doubts and fears could have slowly crept it's way to her heart and head (I am a sucker for long-lasting doubts that develop over time) and anything you can even so much as GRASP on. If you look at it and see it as a possibility, try to fit that into her character and add it subtly in different places (as subtext or a creative pattern, wordplay, doesn't rlly matter as long as it's not openly stated bc, remember, the key thing to these types of characters is mystery).

For example, a fear of failure can stem into anxiety before the character has even lost smth later in their life. They probably get rlly anxious when evaluating smth but don't show it much or at all so no one notices. This adds even MORE to the character bc you can build it up after other events. Like once they have failed, they could probably get even more anxious and then develop a bad relationship with the person who beat them (double the points if it was a friend). You could build all that up and turn it super toxic instead of jumping right to the healing. It makes it more interesting, doesn't it? Plus, reevaluating almost everything including world views after 1 loss is...kind of hard to believe even with anxiety (no offense)

Adding a lot of little problems and thinking abt how Luja's behaviour can impact other characters helps a terrible lot if ur doing most of the story from her POV. Especially since she's probably the most relatable character (from what I've heard anyway). I have a certain saying... it goes like, "It's better to have a relatable and connecting character than one with a problem that is too big for normal people to fathom."

I like characters with heart-wrenching problems that I would never be able to relate to (take maybe Shigaraki as an example ig?) But my favourite are the ones that make me feel as tho I made a real connection

Also, I would like to say...if ur looking to progress her character even further, I would debate on whether it's the complete end to the novel or if there'll be a second part. If it's a second part, keep some of Luja's issues. Make her get better but not completely "YAY, I AM DONE BEING TORMENTED". If it's the end of the novel/series/etc., make it so that she's resolved most of most of her issues. They don't have to be completely gone but they have to be a lot better compared to how they started. And how i would work that out is a mind map but knowing ur a scatterbrain...lets talk it out where everything is all over the place

Luja's main thing is to gain confidence in herself and be finally ok with losing, right? If you ask me, that's a tough one but not impossible. I think to get her from point A to point B is to put up a bunch of events like:

Get her super anxious when doing smth

Lose to *insert person*

Have a breakdown and over think on what she could have done better (on the project or whatever she lost at)

Get even more anxious and totally mess up the next thing

Lose once again (double points if it's the same person as last time)

Overthinking abt how she's not good enough

F i g h t i n g f r i e n d s c o z d r a m a

"YoU'rE nEvEr GoNnA gEt BeTtEr If YoU kEeP tHiNkInG aBoUt YoUrSeLf"

Over think abt no. 8 bc out of options and ideas and ✨a n x i e t y✨

Try listening to others more and become b e t t e r

Win smth (bc creator forbid 3 losses in a row to start depression)

Lose again (there is gonna be a bit of back and forth but is necessary for development)

"I tHoUgHt I wAs FiNaLlY dOiNg SoMeThInG rIgHt AnD nOw LoOk"

"Losing is not th3 3nd of th3 fucking world, you lunatic"

"WELL, IT IS TO ME, BITCH"

*insert psychology somehow idk*

Another loss

"I'm angry...but I'm ok"

Note that idk where bullying would come in and these are only how I would think it to go-

A character like this isn't rlly my strong suit when it comes to them resolving their problems but they are fun to write and think abt-

................................did I just give you advice on how to traumatize? I-

[mc-critical]

I love to boring you but what do you think of Murad IV in MC:Kosem ? I really like him but he seriously need of a therapy with a psy *a great one !* and i don't think he treated Ayse (or Farya !) correctly ! He is trash (more trash than any others characters i think) but i also like her complexity. How do you find him ? Do you think he deserve more recognization like Selim or not at all ?

I don't like him one bit as a person. He's problematic, hypocritical and abusive and his actions go beyond every sort of justification, no matter how much he tries to justify them himself. However, he is interesting and complex as a character and you can still see where he comes from and how do his beliefs unfold. He clearly has a detailed arc; and that arc causes him to be way more paranoid, way more selfish, way more overindulgent, which was to his detriment.

Let's face it: the show portrayed him as a very bad ruler (I spoke about why here) and from what I've read, historically, he isn't any better, either. I don't know what does he deserve to be recognized for, aside from the conquering of Baghdad, which did nothing to absolve his crimes in the show, aside from how well-written he is. Any possible redeeming quality of his is destroyed by all his problematic actions piling in and all we've left is a nuanced exploration of his problematic traits. With MC Selim we have a much more understandable circumstance, the child neglect which explained his drinking and lay low tendencies and why it looked like he didn't care for what the other brothers did. Thing is, Selim arguably wasn't all that problematic at first (the provocations between him and Bayezid were more mutual than anything else) and what really pushed him to "villainy" was the death of Mustafa and Cihangir, the complete destruction of the concept of brotherly love in his head. His redeeming qualities were as balanced as his "villainy" and you see within how human he is and how everyone around him who wasn't Nurbanu did somewhat screw him over from the start. The nuance is on his entire persona, not on his problematic deeds. I do believe that MC Selim's writing should be way more respected, because of all the nuance. I don't think he's fit for a padişah in the show, but he isn't some cardboard cutout who only drinks and schemes. He has actual issues, desires, sensitivity, vulnerability and compassion. Murat is a different kind of a character. He's both a bad ruler and a horrible person, he doesn't really have a transitional point to begin his problematic deeds, since he's like this in the beggining. He has his reasons in his backstory, but they recontextualize his paranoia, not what comes out of this paranoia. His transitional point was more him getting even surer of his beliefs than beggining a path of ruthlessness. Worse, it strips him from any possible scruple he had deep inside and what we would see from this point on is his further moral descent and nothing else. He has two areas of justification: a fragment of his past and the "Shadow of God" mentality that only ring more shallow the further we go. (it's fascinating writing-wise, but that's about it.) With Selim at least we have his motives becoming stronger the more we go and watch him succeed. They're different thematic explorations altogether and one of them isn't much on the sympathetic or deserving of recognition spectrum by design.

What I like the most about Murat's writing is that no matter how strong and dangerous it is, his paranoia comes from a real place. While with Süleiman we only had hints of said paranoia in a few flashbacks, with Murat we had an actually devastating, shown on-screen event that had the harder job of making such sudden by the show change more believable. Murat, for whatever he is, is shown a tiny bit of understanding by the script when there actually are people actively working behind his back. Süleiman assumes he's been betrayed, but since the events that open his paranoia are mostly events molded or completely taken out of context and no one actively works behind his back until much after said paranoia was allowed to occur (even Mustafa's organization worked primarily against Hürrem, not SS, one attempt to kill SS aside, which the object of his paranoia saved him from!!!!) - we, as audience, have no reason to buy it whatsoever, which brought the understanding for SS soo down for me. But Murat's paranoia made him go way out of proportion to the point he went even further than SS by willing to end the whole state so he could be there and rule. And just like SS, his paranoia quickly became all selfish in nature to the point of alienating everyone around him who wants to give him decent advice and thinking himself as right all the time. He wanted to be a lone wolf, driven by toxic masculinity from the start. And him feeling overshadowed by Kösem... no matter how understandable it has the chance to be because of the time period, made him blind and instead of gaining experience in order to rule unscathed and firm, he decided to fixate himself on the past and on his role and possible deep-seated resentment of his mother, he made all the wrong decisions in every aspect of his life.

His anger issues are especially illuminating, since he tends to lash out on the slightest thing gone wrong, to the point of exercising physical violence. His anger probably stemmed from how he could only watch during Osman's death and the subconscious blaming of Kösem because of it, along with Musa's death and them not giving him time to shine, something he thought belonged to him and was his right, but by ruminating on all this, he, once again, focuses on his own feelings and own world, he, once again, reaches devastating extremes. Anyone who ever tries to defy him suffers from this. Anyone who tries to defy him is evaluated by how much he's fitting for his mold, for his world, something far beyond a wish for loyalty.

He didn't love any of his women, IMO. His physical violence and abuse was highlighted by his dynamics with them the most and he always decided on the harshest punishments when it came to them. One might argue that his relationship with Farya played its part in somewhat humanizing Murat and disguising this overally questionable at its impossibly best love story for ratings and stuff, but the more we went, the more abusive it got and Farya could never get over his unpredictable and turbulent nature that strived to strictly control every single thing that was close to him to toxic levels. I won't even begin with how he treated Ayşe, because that was such a trainwreck and she deserved much better than to constantly fear for her life, because this guy could go immediately crazy and kill her and her kids. With Sanavber it was only slight infatuation and that's all for me, because in that point, I doubt this guy was capable of love. One Murat went and there came the other before Sanavber arrived and Murat was on the path to become his cruelest self.

All in all, I don't mind anyone going out there and trying to explore him ( in fact, I would actually love such discussions!), but he's hot trash, he should die in fire along with Süleiman and I'm struggling everyday to declare which one is worse in my book, because they suck the same for me, but in different ways. I appreciate their narrative roles, but otherwise... screw them both.

[kanchelsis]

If you wrote the Nikolai Duology, how would you change it? You have some good ideas!

aaaaaa thank you!! people have been so lovely about my salty post ghsfjks i'm kissing you all on the cheek 💕

to answer your question, i think it might be less about what i would do, and more about what i wouldn't do. i'll make some bullet points and say whatever comes to mind.

(to be honest, the idea of nikolai having his own duology has lost its appeal to me, which is sad because i adore him. i just believe he's a better side character than main, and there are more interesting grishaverse stories waiting to be told. but let's work on the assumption that i have to keep the basic pillars of the books and not just throw away the whole concept.)

ok so... zoya. i would take her in a completely different direction than lb did. i love a good morally ambiguous character, so i wouldn't just erase that - what drew me to her in tgt was her stubbornness, her shallowness, her capacity for petty cruelty, but also her determination and confidence. we can't just have her holding one of the most powerful positions in ravka and everyone just accepting that. not only does she need to have doubters, the doubters need to have a point.

we have a ruthless young woman, a soldier no less, suddenly needing to utilise diplomacy to protect an entire country. make her screw up. make her uncompromising and callous. make her human. don't expect her to step into this role seamlessly just so unlimited power can be handed to her on a silver platter.

if she has to be an ultrapowerful grisha, it's so much more logical to make her work for it. to hell with the saints on the fold stuff, what even was that?? lb tells us that everything we thought about grisha power is wrong, but 1) throws away the really cool magic system she made and 2) doesn't replace it with anything else. just let zoya be a squaller, not a dragon-saint-chosen-one or whatever.

writing this has kinda made me sad, since zoya could've been amazing, but anyway. onwards to nikolai.

this is the nikolai duology. if he's giving his name to the series i expect him to be the central character. i'd want his main struggle to surround identity and an uncertain future - who is nikolai, underneath the charm and flirtation? there could be an internal war between the demon, carefree sturmhond and the duty-bound king of ravka. both he and zoya are faced with a disarrayed court filled with people who don't think they have what it takes to lead.

there are so many nonsensical subplots in the duology that... fizzle into nothing. cut it down. pick a few things to focus on and give them the detail they deserve.

speaking of, the cult of the starless! lb took what could've been a source of endless interest and turned it into a bland caricature. we get it ma'am, you hate the darkling. but the problem is that the darkling's root motive gets conveniently glossed over in favour of character bashing. he wanted a safe world for grisha. that still doesn't exist. there's a tidbit about grisha no longer being forced to join the second army, but that was not the issue at hand at all? they're not going to know how to use their powers. they're still going to face discrimination.

so onto my point, what if the cult of the starless was predominantly grisha? those who feel let down by the world around them, who see the darkling as a martyr for a reason. now THAT would be something to contend with. a physical consequence for the events of tgt. put them next to people like genya and nikolai who intimately understand the harm the darkling has done, and you've got a badass subplot going there.

plus, imagine zoya spotting old friends and comrades amongst the starless. angst potential. also, yuri's treatment in the books pisses me off so much - lb wants us to see him as a foolish annoyance, but this kid literally marched the religious sect that he leads right up to the gates of os alta. now top that off with grisha powers (inferni would be cool) and you have a way more threatening character.

zoyalai. right, ok. what irks me about these two is that their so-called banter and pining go nowhere. we get some half-hearted justifications for them not being together, and the narrative completely overlooks zoya's comments about him in the trilogy. let's fix this.

maybe they could start off professional around each other, somewhat cold. until at some point, they begin an exclusively physical affair, just fwb and nothing more. i think this could work given the fact they're both flirty and materialistic. the stakes would be that if the court found out, their reputations would be significantly tarnished, yet neither are willing to stop. as they spend more time together, feelings blossom. they're no longer the demon king and squaller general to each other. they just want to be nikolai and zoya, yet both are too proud to make the first move. let the pining commence.

either that or give nikolai a new love interest. wasn't there a line in kos that joked that nikolai would be prone to falling in love with a palace maid? the potential spice of his love interest being someone with zero political standing, someone like dominik. a fellow pirate or even a starless member.

i don't even know what to say about nina. i was devastated over her treatment. there really do need to be more stories where a character who has lost a lover moves on and finds love again, but matthias is quite literally freshly buried when she meets her new boo. that's a major disservice to the potential of hanne's character as well. i'm kinda in favour of scrapping nina's whole plot. it would need a colossal amount of overhaul to work and even though i'm enjoying sharing my ideas, i don't have time to think about that.

same goes for isaac and mayu. either scrap it or give it the attention it needs.

i'm aware this is very kos-centric, but kos is the root of my issues and row is just an extension of that.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: no darkling return. no alina and mal. this story has been told and wrapped up. please don't cheapen it by going back and contradicting tgt. no gratuitous, shoehorned crow cameos either.

that's that about that, i guess!! i apologise for any spelling or grammatical errors, i wrote this rather quickly. i know this isn't gonna be for everyone. that's alright. i just ask people to civil about it and if discussion is going to be had, don't take things in bad faith. sorry anon this got long af.

[m-y-fandoms]

Fuyuhiko x reader -  Fuyuhiko’s S/O saves his sister from being killed by Sato

Request: congrats on the blog!! i really like your writing!! could i request fuyuhiko's s/o protecting natsumi from being killed by sato?

Of course! I love Fuyuhiko actually, he just barely missed my top five favorite DR characters list, definitely top 10. Warnings: blood, violence, spoilers for the Danganronpa 3 anime and Super Danganronpa 2, reader’s gender not specified  - Mod Kokichi

     “See ya, babe. Don’t be late after last period today, I got some shit to handle for my dad as soon as I drop you off at work,” Fuyuhiko spoke lazily, a nudge on your shoulder to get your attention again.

     “Yeah, ‘course!” You smiled as he leaned in and pecked you on the cheek, routinely, like he had every morning for the past few years. “See ya, ‘Hiko!” He nodded, sauntering off with books under his arm and his free hand in the pocket of his slacks. “Bye, Peko!” You bowed your head to the swordswoman who followed diligently behind your boyfriend, nodding her acknowledgment to you. You sighed, watching him disappear into the entrance of the main wing of Hope’s Peak Academy. Your eyes glossed over dreamily, lingering on him. Was that a new cologne on him today? Maybe he was wearing his uniform a little neater than usual this morning…

     “Let’s go, fuckin’ space cadet!” A shove from behind knocked you forward toward the entrance of the Reserve Course wing, You sighed deeply. “My brother ain’t that cute, damn!”

     “Natsumi, you could’ve just said something.” You pushed back the frustration in your voice in favor of a small smile in her direction.

     “Whatever, we’re gonna be late, and I’m not dealing with another one of Mr. Nakamura’s lectures on the value of punctuality!” She stuck her tongue out as if gagging, her blonde hair floating through the air as she rushed past you, her shoulder roughly knocking into yours.

     “Geez...that girl…” You shook your head, following behind.

     You couldn’t really complain about anything or anyone at Hope’s Peak, seeing as you were just lucky to be there in the first place. After dating Fuyuhiko for a little over two years, he got scouted and asked to attend Hope’s Peak’s main course as the Ultimate Yakuza. You were so happy for him, and proud, but he wasn’t as thrilled. He was really attached to you, with your father and his father being childhood friends and clan members, and your own childhood friendship with him had blossomed into this loving and loyal relationship. It was the best kind. After all, people always say the healthiest and longest-lasting marriages came when your spouse was your best friend, and you definitely intended to marry that boy one day. With how close you two were, he’d be damned if he was splitting up with you for some stupid school, but both you and his father weren’t having it. Mr. Kuzuryu only gained more influence and pride once his son started going to the best school in the country, and you just wouldn’t let your boyfriend pass up on the opportunity of a lifetime, and so…

     Fuyuhiko had gotten his father to personally pay for your tuition in order to enter the Reserve Course. It wasn’t like your family was poor, but you weren’t Hope’s-Peak-level rich. You protested at first, of course, feeling like a burden, but you could see that Fuyuhiko was quickly getting angry at your refusals and excuses, so you accepted. Plus, he told you that he wanted someone he trusted to look after his little sister, Natsumi, and you let him give you this excuse as a justification to accept his father’s financial support.

     The Reserve Course wasn’t that bad, certainly much more high class than your previous school, but sharing most of your classes with Natsumi was a pain in your ass. Her father was the leader of the Kuzuryu clan. Your father was one of his subordinates, below him, and she seemed to like to remind you of that every five minutes. She talked down to you endlessly, and seemed jealous of the attention her brother gave you, but you had absolutely no room to complain to Fuyuhiko about it after what his father had done for you, so you just didn’t. As far as he knew, you and his sister were on good, neutral terms. She was mean and a smart-ass to everyone, so he didn’t expect you two to be having sleepovers and make friendship bracelets, but he figured you liked her, and she didn’t hate you.

     You could sense a deep insecurity in Natsumi: a need to be recognized, a want to be in the main course, an inferiority complex that you sometimes saw in other Kuzuryu’s you knew, so you tried to always be nice to her. Everyone has their struggles, and her aggressive personality was how she pushed back hers. She was in your life for good, if you wanted to stay with Fuyuhiko, and besides, you promised him you’d look after her. And so, you kept your chin up and walked to class with a smile...until you opened the classroom door.

     “I’m telling you, Kuzuryu, I don’t care who your father is, none of us do! You’re in the Reserve Course just like us because you’re no better than anyone else here!” The green haired girl, Sato, Natsumi’s current and longest-standing arch-enemy, loomed over Natsumi, her face red with anger and hands balled into trembling fists at her side. Really...they’re starting early today...school just started.

     “Move your stupid face and smelly breath out of my face before I move it for you!” Natsumi spat back, leaning further into the argument. You quickly ran and stood between them. Every day was like this, with you or your classmate Hajime Hinata - a plain boy with a big heart - breaking it up before it escalated. But it was wearing on you, having been going on for over a month.

     “What the fuck did you say, bitch?! Just because your dad is some thug criminal doesn’t mean no one can touch you! You’re testing my patience!” Sato’s hand raised, and your own shot out and grabbed her by the wrist.

     “Woah, woah!” Your breath was shaky. “What’s it about, today, guys? What happened?” Sato was mad about you stopping her, of course, but she liked you, certainly more than she did Natsumi, and she respected you and Hajime for always looking out for your classmates, even if she didn’t want to admit it. After all, you’d stuck up for her and others just as much as Natsumi over the course of the semester - not taking Natsumi’s side so much as simply diffusing the situation - so she paused her attack, huffing. You couldn’t actually believe Sato raised her hand to Natsumi. They always bickered, every single day, but it hadn’t gotten physical, yet.

     “She’s talking shit about Mahiru again! I told this bitch to stay away from Mahiru and keep her name out of her mouth, but of course her jealousy knows no limits!” Sato spat, and you looked to Natsumi as if for confirmation. Just then, Hajime Hinata, as well as your professor, waltzed into the room together, just a little late after the bell. Upon seeing the scene before them, Mr. Nakamura spoke out:

     “What’s going on here? I’m a few minutes late and you guys think class should turn into a free-for-all? Get to your seats!” You looked to Natsumi, then Sato.

     “Guys, this isn’t worth it, please…” Your eyes pleaded softly. Sato scowled, turning away and returning to her seat. Natsumi pushed past you, her lips close to your ear.

     “I’ve told you before and I’m telling you again, I don’t need you fighting my fuckin’ battles for me…” she whispered, her tone flat and menacing, “I don’t care if you’re dating my brother, if you get in my way again, I’ll handle you and Sato.” You knew she didn’t mean it. She was hotheaded like her brother, and at this moment she felt bested by Sato, not having gotten to say her piece and have the final word in the argument. She was embarrassed and angry. So you let her go back to her seat without a response or retort.

     When the class period ended, you caught Natsumi walking past Sato as everyone was leaving the room, speaking harshly. “Hey, Sato, raise a hand to me again, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

~

     You were in the back of a sleek limousine, sitting on Fuyuhiko’s lap, your arms around his neck as he attacked your neck with rough kisses. Being alone in the back was nice and all, but it felt so...off. Usually, Natsumi rode along with you, and any friends that were riding back to the Kuzuryu east-side guesthouse after school to hang out. Friends and non-clan members weren’t allowed in the Kuzuryu main manor, it was far too dangerous, but the Kuzuryu’s owned many little extravagant homes, lounges, stores and clubhouses where you’d meet up and pass time with friends.

     “ ‘Hiko, why isn’t Natsumi here, again?”

     “I told you, some shit about a photography club meeting after school. You know she likes taking pictures and shit.” His brow furrowed at the interruption before going back to your neck. “Geez, just savor it. I rarely have time to be alone with you.” You pushed his shoulders back.

     “Y-yeah but, Natsumi isn’t in the photography club for the Reserve Course. I know because I’m in it...we don’t have a meeting this week.” You started to worry.

     “Whatever, who cares. Maybe she went off to give some kid a handy behind the school.” You rolled your eyes at his facetious tone and he smirked. “Why do you care? She’s fine.” He took his attack south to your collarbone, and you let him as you continued.

     “Well...it’s just…she’s been having issues with this girl in class and I’m worried…”

     “Issues?” His head popped up, face screwed up in an annoyed and anxious expression, but then melting into careful suspicion just as fast. “What kind of issues? I’m sure that if it was that bad, you’d have told me a while ago, yes?”

     “W-well, of course, but...I mean nothing’s happened, really…they usually just swear and insult each other, but today, things almost got physical…” He paused, thinking.

     “...what’s been going on?” Physical for a boy used to being around yakuza could mean anything from a fistfight to a bullet to the head, so he automatically assumed the worst most of the time.

     “I don’t know...they just hate each other. Natsumi doesn’t like this girl...Mahiru Koi...something. She’s in your class. She’s jealous of her, I think...and so Sato, the one Natsumi is fighting with, is defending Mahiru to be a good friend, but-“

     “Pfft! I thought you were gonna say something serious. This is petty high-school girl shit, s/o! If they wanna throw punches, break their nails and pull hair, let them. Natsumi and I see blood spilled every day. She can handle herself in a fight. Let her pop this Sato chick in the mouth, then. Who cares? Bet it will settle this little spat of theirs. You shouldn’t be so stressed about it.” His eyes softened, rubbing your back with one hand.

     “I know, it’s just...I mean you told me to look out for her, and it’s not like I don’t care about your sister, she’s like family to me…”

     “It’s not your job to babysit and bodyguard her. I just said that so you’d take the damn tuition money and I think you know that,” he snorted, shifting your position on his lap to kiss you on the forehead. “If she really needs someone like Peko, we’ll get her someone, but we both wanted to go to school without the clan’s influence. You know that…” he trailed off.

     “I know, but-“ the driver stopped abruptly.

     “I’ll see you after work. Don’t stress about this, seriously.” Fuyuhiko pushed your folded up work clothes into your hands, and you gave him a look of warning, as if to say ‘you aren’t taking this seriously’ before he gestured toward the limousine door, giving you a playful slap on the ass as you exited with the driver patiently holding the door open for you. “I love you.”

     “I love you, too, ‘Hiko,” you smiled before pushing through the large crystal doors on the upscale, Kuzuryu-owned men’s clothing boutique for your shift.

~

     The next day was like any other school day: dropped off at the gates, Fuyuhiko’s peck on your cheek, Natsumi walking with you to first period...but, what was that grin on her face…? She hated waking up early, she hated first period...she was always sluggish or irritable and waiting for her morning caffeine to kick in. You decided you were being paranoid, and shook it off.

     When you entered the classroom, the students were all huddled in the corner, surrounding Sato, who was screaming at Hajime about something.

     “-and I am not just gonna let this slide, Hinata! You better fuck of-“ Hajime saw you two enter, and Sato’s eyes followed his own, her rant cutting off. Locking eyes with Natsumi, who smirked back wickedly, she flew out of her seat, launching herself at your future sister-in-law. Natsumi fought back, her hands around Sato’s neck as Sato pulled her down to the ground.

     “Oh my-stop!” You pulled at Natsumi’s arms, everything seeming to happen so fast. She threw an elbow back toward you for interfering, and it hit your side roughly. You grimaced, the pain working hard but your adrenaline working harder. You thrust yourself between the girls, pulling Natsumi back with all of your might. Hajime rushed over, pulling Sato off the ground and holding her back as she kicked and swung.

     “I told you-! You-let go of me!!!” Natsumi resisted as well, and you and Hajime locked eyes, barely keeping hold of the two combatants.

     “What could possibly be worth all this!” You wheezed, Natsumi quickly overpowering you.

     “That cunt! Let me go, Hinata or I’ll fuck you up, too!” Sato roared, catching the attention of Mr. Nakamura, who rushed in and quickly pressed his authority, threatening both girls with suspension or worse if they spoke another word or touched each other. They were both sent to the headmaster’s office, with Hajime being asked to escort them since they ‘obviously needed to be monitored like children’.

     You sat in your desk seat, uniform askew, armpits wet with perspiration. Another student filled you in after class. Apparently, Natsumi had gone over to the photo development room in the main course’s wing after school, and ripped up each and every photo Mahiru was going to present at the upcoming photography competition on campus. Twenty photos for a gallery opening up tomorrow for student work. Twenty priceless, stunning photographs by the Ultimate Photographer, all gone. Oh...so that’s why Sato was so pissed. You had to admit, it was hard to defend Natsumi at this point. You released a breath you’d been holding in, putting your head down on your desk to just calm your thoughts before texting Fuyuhiko. You filled him in about what happened, every detail, and your thoughts on it, taking Sato’s side as gently as possible. You had hoped to get his counsel, simply wanting validation and reassurance that there was nothing to worry about, but you ended up only making it worse.

     Natsumi texted you about fifteen minutes later, calling you a fucking snitch and many other expletives, saying with malice that now her brother was on her case. Fuyuhiko then texted you saying he told Natsumi she better go straight to the limo after the last bell rang like a fire was lit under her ass, and that he wanted you to stand outside her last class and wait for her to make sure she did just that. You swallowed your spit down hard, throat going dry all of a sudden. You didn’t intend for this to happen. Now Natsumi was going to hate you, and Fuyuhiko is going to be in a bad mood. Why did you have to be so stupid? Why did Natsumi have to cause so much trouble? Maybe you should just let her suffer on her own, and stop stressing about it like Fuyuhiko said. This wasn’t fair, for you to feel like this because of her behavior.

~

     You left your last class a few minutes early, rushing to Natsumi’s classroom with an exhausted and anxious air about you. You found the class, and leaned on the wall beside the door, preparing for her to march out and scream at you and who knows maybe even strangle you because that’s what she was into now apparently and-

     Your ears perked up at a loud sound, like muffled yelling and a crash of glass. It sounded nearby, but far away at the same time. The yelling picked up, a bit louder now, and you felt yourself get nervous for no reason. It had to be on this floor, and close. You looked around, and held your bag close, sprinting down the hall. The sound got louder, confirming your suspicions until you were in front of the music room, with yelling and then a strangled cry coming from the other side. You panicked, fumbling with the door handle, but it wouldn’t budge. You pounded on the door, your breathing getting harder and faster. Backing up, you braced yourself, and ran at the door with the strength of fight-or-flight adrenaline in your veins, throwing your shoulder into the hard door and it flew open, slamming into the wall on the other side.

     “NATSUMI!” You didn’t have time to baby your injured shoulder, as the scene before you needed immediate action, obviously. A broken glass fish tank was scattered on the ground, gravel and quickly dying freshwater fish littering the floor. The room was a mess, with sheet music and desks knocked over and spilled out everywhere. Sato stood near the window, her hands around Natsumi’s neck in a vice-like grip, and Natsumi gasping and flailing, her eyes slowly rolling to the back of her head. “Sato, what the fuck are you thinking?!!!” You ran at her, and Sato didn’t even look in your direction, her mind clouded with hatred and blood lust. Knocking into Sato with all you had, she fell forward into the window, releasing Natsumi as the window splintered and cracked around her.

     Natsumi hit the the wall beside the window and fell to the floor, gasping and choking, her lungs clawing desperately for air. Sato leapt at her again, and you tackled her to the ground, looking up at Natsumi.

     “Go! GO! Fuyuhiko will be at the gates! Get him!” Natsumi looked shocked, traumatized, and simply stared at you, while Sato spat and growled and tried to buck you off, reaching for Natsumi’s skirt. “Get someone! Please!”

     “I-I told you I don’t need y-your help, s/o!” She tried to keep up her gangster’s-daughter persona even in her shaken-up state, but her voice betrayed her and tears sprung from her eyes. Sato threw you off and started to stand.

      “Run! Natsumi, RUN!!” She heard the seriousness in your voice, the fear, and she had never heard you sound like that before. You were her brother’s sensitive, pacifist, kind-hearted s/o, and here you were, in danger because of her. She shook off her pride, and ran toward the door as you grabbed Sato’s ankle and she tripped to the ground again. Natsumi disappeared down the hall, screaming for help the entire way.

      “Fuck you! Fuck you!! She deserved this! You ruined everything!” Sato sounded like an animal more than a high-school girl. She reached to her right, twisting her body around violently until she could reach a long shard of glass from the fish tank, and she brought it down hard on your thigh, the glass tearing into your flesh.

     You screamed out in pain, your vision blurring quickly at the shock of it, sobs coming immediately from your mouth. Blood gushed out of the inches-deep wound, and your heads involuntarily released Sato. When you steadied yourself, steeling your nerves, and reached out to try and neutralize her again, she pulled the glass out of your leg, slamming it down again, hitting a vein deeply before pulling it out. You yelped and forced yourself to stand as she did, blood spurting freely from your leg. You fell more than threw yourself onto her, your head beginning to spin and feeling consciousness leaving you slowly. Leaning on her, you wrapped your arms around her waist with all of your remaining energy, and gripped tightly, hoping you could at least burden her enough to make leaving to room slower and making it impossible for her to catch up to Natsumi or flee the scene before help came.

     Now with a great strength advantage over you, she arched her back, threw her head back, and slammed you behind her into the wall. Your head hit the wall with a crack, and immediately you slumped to the ground, your world going dark.

~

     “...hear me? S-.....” fuzziness. Emptiness. Darkness. “-lose you, please! You h-“ A voice faded in and out, then finally out for good. Hours later, you felt yourself stir.

     When your eyelids flew open, the ceiling above you was white, clean, calming.

     “S/o?!” Fuyuhiko? You sat up quickly, a pounding in your head making you gasp and whimper. “No, no! You need to stay down.” A hand on your chest softly guided you back onto the pillow below you. You turned your head to the side. You took in your surroundings slowly. A hospital. You were in a hospital bed, and Fuyuhiko had been in a chair beside you, now standing at your side. His hands flew to your face, cradling your cheeks. “You’re an idiot, you know that? Are you fucking crazy?” His words were harsh, but there was no anger behind them, only worry and pain. You felt the wrap of linen around your head wound, and adjusting your leg at all resulted in a sharp spike of pain shooting up your body.

     “Where’s Natsumi? Is she okay? Did Sato-“

     “I don’t wanna hear that bitch’s name. And why are you worried about Natsumi right now?!” Now there was anger. “You almost fucking died, s/o! I almost lost you!” His voice cracked on that last word, and your eyes widened at the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes before he angrily rubbed them away with his sleeve. “Natsumi’s fucking fine. She didn’t have anything more than a few bruises on her neck. Nothing’s broken or injured except her pride. And she will be coming to thank and apologize to you at length later.” You didn’t comment on that last bit, deciding instead to ask about what happened after you passed out.

     Natsumi found a security guard at the entrance, he explained, and he saw her screaming from his position at the school gates. He rushed over to yell at her and figure out what the hell was going on, before having her grab him by the wrist and force him into the school with stuttering gibberish about you and that you were in trouble or something like that with the security guard running close behind. When they got to the music room, the door was open and Sato was nowhere to be found.

     Fuyuhiko had screamed your name, his throat ripping apart as he swore and cried and snot ran down his face like a fool. He ran to what he thought was your corpse, blood splattered everywhere, pooling under you, a little patch of blood on the wall behind you head. He took in your closed eyes and thigh oozing slowly-drying blood, and picked you up into his arms, his clothes getting covered in the liquid. He screamed at Natsumi to call for the police, an ambulance, anything, while the security guard called for backup and went off to find Sato. You were brought immediately to the hospital along with Natsumi, and he’d been waiting by your bed ever since, just pleading, begging you to wake up. Sato was apprehended by police a few blocks from the school, obviously off her rocker and in a manic state.

     “You...you were almost gone. You lost...just so much blood,” he sniffled.

     “But, I’m here,” you reached up and grabbed his hand, a comforting smile on your lips, “aren’t I?” He scoffed at you.

     “You fucking idiot,” he shook his head, leaning down and kissing you roughly on the lips, tears from his eyes falling onto your cheeks. “I fucking love you. Don’t make me worry like this.” He pulled back, face inches from yours.

     “I love you, too, so much.” You looked back at him with some indeterminable emotion washing over you. You were just overwhelmed.

     “I will always love you. Please, don’t leave me.”