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pit-and-the-pen · 27 days

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 3

A tiny bit of a shorter update here y'all. I promise there's a ton in the next chapter that I have planned but I just wanted to get this part out.

warnings: Drinking, slightly suggestive actions/thoughts

WC: 9.3k

Previous chapters: [prologue] [chapter 1] [chapter 2]

Feyre didn't make it to the prison that next day. Her and Rhys had not been gone for an hour before Rhys was winnowing her back into the living room. Feyre was as pale as a ghost and shaking like a leaf. The concern that laced Rhys’ face was enough to stop me from asking how it went, was enough to stop everyone in the room from asking. Feyre didn’t stay to talk, turning on her heel and stalking towards her room.

I watched as she ascended the stairs, taking note of the stiffness of her shoulders.

“She saw it was underground and couldn’t do it.” Was the only explanation I was given. I nodded, fully understanding. A variable none of us had even thought to consider, the prison was scary enough on its own. But add fifty feet of rock above your head, after that damned mountain, I Feyre didn’t come out of her room again that day.

The next morning, I once again found myself outside her door too scared to knock. Too scared of her rejecting my company to bring her any semblance of comfort. It was the cowards move and I hated that I couldn’t bring myself to check on her. The tiny sniffles I could hear through the heavy wooden door let me know the full extent of the effect that place had on her.

I sensed someone standing behind me and almost jumped when I saw Armen beside me. The two of us had a lukewarm relationship at best. She respected me only as much as was polite, I was her high lord's sister after all. But that’s where that relationship started and ended. I respected her as part of my brother's court, and quite frankly, I was terrified of her.

“If you won’t then I will.” She said in a bored tone. “I know you heard her last night too.” I had. Feyre vomiting her guts out, screaming from nightmares, then more vomiting. It was something I was all too familiar with. The things that creep into our sleep, images from that vile place where she had lost her humanity. Amren simply rolled her eyes and strolled into the room, leaving me flustered at the doorway. I didn’t stay around to listen to their conversation. Instead I went down to the kitchen, finding my hands suddenly far too empty.

In a matter of minutes I had pulled out all the ingredients to make breakfast. Grabbing a whisk to start mixing, I sensed someone else in the room. I looked up and was met with the eyes of my brother. A slightly worried look in his eyes, he knew I only cooked when something was on my mind. I just shrugged my shoulders at him, dismissing the concern. He didn’t say anything as he sat at one of the stools in the kitchen. Both of us content to sit in the other’s silence. Cassian came in only for me to shoo him out when he kept picking at the food as I made it. The action made the three of us howl with laughter.

The next day, Feyre seemed to be in better spirits. I noticed her hand tracing over the necklace Amren had given her yesterday. Some random glittery trinket Rhys had gifted her one year for Solstice. I don’t know what the ancient fae had told her to make Feyre clutch it like it was a life line. Rhys eyed Amren who just waved him off with her usual casual coolness.

“Ready then?” He asked Feyre. She gulped but nodded. And like that they were off.

That’s when the waiting began. Everyone sat with perfect Fae stillness as we waited for Rhys and Feyre to return. All holding a collective breath for that information that could save us all. At some point I had lit a fire just to have something to do with my hands. The book that I had been trying to read all morning lay untouched by my feet. Mor was lounging next to Cassian. Azriel was brooding at the window, his wings twitching slightly at the tension in the room. Shadows a nervous flurry at his feet. Amren has slinked off the moment Rhys had winnowed away.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when a crack cut through the silence in the room. The familiar smell of the prison lingered on Feyre and Rhys as they appeared in the living room. I couldn’t help the careful eye I ran over the both of them, assessing for any damage. A sigh of relief left me when I couldn’t find any.

“How’d it go?” Mor finally broke the silence, trying and failing to keep her voice casual. Feyre was already splayed out in an armchair closest to the hearth. She stretched, rubbing at her arms, like she couldn’t get warm enough. Rhys went to pick at a piece of invisible lint on his leathers. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

“The bone carver is nothing more than a busybody.” He simply said. We all looked for him for a scrap of more information.

“And?” I snapped.

“And, he can be helpful when he wants to be. It seems we need to do what we do best.” His violet eyes shone with a flicker of mischief at his words. “Hybern has the Cauldron.” I couldn't contain the gasp that tumbled out of me. For the first time since my brother had left, Azriel moved. Perching on the arm of the couch I was sitting on.

“What does that mean for us?” Azriel asked sharply.

“It means that we finally know the cause behind all the destruction as of late.” Rhys ran a hand through his hair, eyes flickering to Feyre who looked like she was about to pass out from exhaustion. “But it also means that we are severely overpowered.”

“Did you learn how to stop it?”

“The Carver mentioned two books that could nullify it, that Feyre could use to nullify it.”

“Those books haven’t been seen in centuries, Rhys.” I interjected. He nodded, hands again running over his hair.

“The location was one thing that the Carver was nice enough to gift us.” I shuddered at the tone of his voice. I didn’t want to think of what he or Feyre had to offer for that bit of information.

“One piece rests in Summer and the other with the human Queens.” Rhys continued.

“I’ll reach out to my sources in Summer to see if I can track down the exact location. I can also personally visit the human lands and see what I can find on the other piece.” Azriel started immediately. Ever the busy spymaster.

“No. I don’t trust this information with anyone outside of this room, save for Armen. Not before we know who will actually stand besides us. If that book were to get into the wrong hands, we might as well surender right now.” Azriel tensed at my brother's words. I placed a gentle hand over his knee. A casual gesture that had him relaxing his shoulders ever so slightly. He gave Rhys a small nod of agreement.

“What does that mean for us?” Mor spoke out.

“As far as I’m concerned, Hybern has already declared war. That was our temple he sacked last to get a missing piece of the cauldron.”

“We need to find a way to get to the cauldron then.” My words gained a nod from Rhys. “It will likely be heavily warded, more than you could even break through Rhys. And then there’s the issue of even finding it. Hybern’s land is incredibly large and there's no guarantee he wouldn’t stash it somewhere else in Prythian.”

“We think that since the pieces are spelled by individual High Lords, their power can find it. Besides actually wielding the book, it seems like we might have our very own key to finding those pieces.” Four pairs of eyes all turned in sync to Feyre. She cringed when she met our eyes.

“We don’t know that for sure…” She started.

“But it would make sense. You contain a kernel of all of their powers. I saw it get transferred to you. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to find them.”

“And there’s a way to test it.” Rhys said with a wicked grin. “It will require us going on a little trip, to see if you can find a very important thing that I have been missing for a very long time.”

“Rhys..” I started but Mor’s echoing “shit.” cut me off.

“Where?” Feyre said, voice trembling.

“The Weaver.” I spoke at the same time as Azriel.

“You can’t be serious…” I started, voice rising at the sheer audacity of my brother.

“The test will be to see if Feyre can detect something that has my magic on it. If she can find that then I am confident it’ll work with other objects.” I had half a mind to slap that dignified look off of my brother's face. Feyre might not know what exact object was at the Weavers cottage but the rest of us did.

I sunk in on myself. Mind drifting far away, tuning out the rest of their conversation.

I felt a prod at my mental walls. You’re unhappy. Rhys spoke into my head.

You’re playing games. I responded. It’s necessary and this way I know she’ll be safe. You think I would ever put her at serious risk? I shook my head, pushing him out of my mind. He winced at the force behind the action. I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I picked at my nails until Rhys' voice pulled me out of whatever was stewing in my brain.

“Emissary. Emissary to the Night Court- for the human realm.” The sound that left me was a mix between a gasp and a scoff. I ripped my hand off of its place on Azriel’s knee. Simply unable to put up with my brother's game at the moment. Azriel mumbled out my name as I stood up, walking out of the room. I shot Feyre a sympathetic look to let her know my leaving had nothing to do with her. She didn’t even glance my way, eyes flickering instead between Rhys and Azriel, who were now arguing in full force.

When I reached my room, I could already feel the edges of a headache creeping over my vision. My hand came up to rub at my temples. I didn’t hear anything from anyone the rest of the day, the only sign I had even received that the arguing had stopped was Rhys popping his head into my room to tell me we were leaving early in the morning. I merely gave him a vulgar gesture with my finger before he slammed the door on his way out. Grabbing a pillow from the edge of my bed, I held it up to my head and let out a loud scream.

This was all too much. Prythian had barely survived one war. And that was when the entirety of it was fighting together and my stupid, oversure brother thought that we could win it before it even started. Throwing the pillow across the room in frustration, I flopped onto the bed. Mind already starting to race with the possibilities and outcomes. All the wrong moves that could see everyone in my family dead in a matter of minutes. We were playing a dangerous game and I didn’t like how carelessly Rhys was thinking about things. A small part knew Rhys would never let Feyre be involved if he thought we stood no chance, so he must have a better plan than the ones I was coming up with. I hoped.

The morning came far too quickly. I feel like I had just fallen asleep when a shadow had crept into my bed, whispering nonsense into my ear to make me up. They ignored my swats in protests. I groaned, pulling myself up into a sitting position. “Busybodies.” I muttered as the shadow creeped back out of my room, most likely letting Azriel and Rhys know I was awake.

I dressed slowly, pulling on each layer of clothing with a practiced sort of focus. Hands nimbly fastening the many buckles of my fighting leathers, like I had done a million times before. I reached for the daggers that Cassian and Azriel had gifted me, one from each of them. Their handles encrusted with gems that matched their siphons. The third I slipped in had gems that matched the first diadem I had been gifted from my mother. I tried not to think about all of their significance as I strapped them to the holster on my thigh. I tied my hair up in an updo, one that required as little pins as possible to keep it out of my face. And I went to find my brother.

It wasn’t hard to figure out why Rhys wanted me to accompany them. Having both of us there would be an extra layer of protection in case this all went to shit. The little bit of my power that had returned combined with Rhys’ would be more than enough to stop the Weaver. I couldn’t fully dampen a room but I had successfully snuffed out a candle or faelight more than a handful of times. Darkness did nothing if you were already blind, but the Weaver relied on scent and hearing. Both of which I had been successful in cutting off from Rhys. Not a hint of my full power but enough to give Feyre time to run if need be.

Once we winnowed into that ancient woods, I had started walking towards the cottage. Having no interest in listening to the distraction my brother had warned me he would be giving Feyre. I tried not to vomit as I listened to his shameless flirting.

Eventually the trees had thinned out. All rustles of surrounding animals faded into nothing. I held up my hand singling to Rhys and feyre to stop moving. Feyre’s breath caught behind me. The cottage was just in view. The smoke from the chimney is still lingering in the air like a blanket. Rhys gave Feyre a dramatic flourish and bowed, letting her move on her own. She flipped him off which brought a smile to my face.

I held my breath as I watched her walk into the front door, flinching when it closed behind her. Like an invisible hand had pushed it shut. My head whipped to Rhys and I saw that he had not planned for that. When I went to take a step forward, he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder. I threw it off but stayed put. No interference. Those were the rules. He said in my mind.

So we sat and waited. “It’s taking too long, Rhys she can’t find it.” He shook his head.

“No she has to.”

“Not right this minute, it’s not like…” A blood curdling scream cut off my words. My dagger was in my hand faster than I could think. Body tensed for whatever had caused that scream. Some part of me knew it wasn’t Feyre. No, I had become all too familiar with the sound of her screams under the mountain.

Faster than a streak of light, Feyre was bounding across the roof. At the same time the front door of the cottage flung open, The Weaver screaming for Feyre. Rhys and I shot each other a look before we were running after Feyre. Chasing her through the tree branches that she was running over. Rhys was able to climb up and perched on the end of one of the branches she would find herself in front of any second.

“What the hell did you do?” He said coolly. Feyre skidded to a stop. Blood rose to her cheeks and I saw the pure fury in her eyes as she hissed at him. He cut her off before he wrapped an arm around both of us, winnowing the both of us back to Velaris.

I was able to winnow enough to get me on the balcony of the house of wind, I landed just in time to see Rhys’ wings appear. When I opened the door, Cassian and Amren had my map sprawled out in front of them. Clearly in the middle of an argument.

Feyre had barely stepped into the threshold of the house before she vomited on the floor. Cassian cursed and Armen had it cleaned up with a quick flick of her wrist.

Feyre had explained what had happened in the cottage. Anger creeped through me as she explained. I shot Rhys a glare that said I told you so.

“And where were you two?” Amren hissed at my brother and I. I felt shame creep up through the anger.

“Far enough away to help if need be. But she got out.” Rhys answered evenly. Feyre yelled at him.

“I’m training with you, if the offer still stands.” Feyre said, ignoring Rhys. “I want to have another option besides running.”

“Running very well might have saved your life today.” I said in return. She gave me a nasty side eye.

“I want to be useful if it ever comes down to a fight.” Was all she said and Cassian nodded.

After that, she seemed to remember something and she all but threw the ring at Rhys, who scrambled to catch it before it fell to the ground. Even I flinched towards it. The motion wasn’t lost of feyre and she raised an eyebrow at me in question.

“How’d you lose it anyways?”

“I didn’t. My mother gave it to me, then took it back when I reached maturity and then gave it to the Weaver for safekeeping.” I rolled my eyes at his half truth. She looked like she was about to lay into him before Rhys was grabbing her hand and left out the window. Probably getting them far enough to winnow back to the townhouse. I didn’t follow after them.

Cassian let loose a heavy sigh and I nodded along.

“He’s got it bad.”

“Tell me about it.”

“So your mothers ring…”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Cassian.” I waved him off. Grabbing a bottle of wine out of the cabinet before I walked towards one of the empty rooms in the house.

“Training with me, tomorrow morning.” Cassian was not asking. And my only answer was the sound of the cork popping out of the bottle in my hand.

Cassian stuck to his words. He dragged me out of bed at sunrise despite my protests. He was having absolutely none of it.

“Feyre’s coming and I want you to be there.” Bastard. He was playing dirty and knew it would work. He smirked as I pushed him out of the room so I could get changed.

Feyre joined us a little after we had gotten warmed up.

“I want you to watch for a little bit. Before we get into the basics.” Feyre made a discontent noise. “I can’t just throw you into the ring with one of us without having some foundation. Sure you can use a bow, but in hand to hand, you wouldn’t last a second.” Blunt. But true. Feyre’s face showed that she knew this. So she hung back as Cassian and Azriel squared off to each other.

It was nearly impossible to follow their movements. They eventually slowed down enough to follow. To track the perfectly timed punches and dips. Cassian and Azriel fought with an easy grace. The sign of centuries of practice. My eyes tracked every roll of muscle, Azriel being shirtless didn’t help my gawking. Eventually they broke apart and I had to remind myself how to close my jaw. Unaware of the way it had parted slightly. Even Feyre looked overly interested.

“Alright. Now, time for princess to get in here.” I groaned and he shot me a withering glare. “She’ll be the best example for you to follow Feyre. Just polished enough to not get hurt and do some damage along the way.”

“Thank you for the glowing compliment Cassian.” He just smiled at me, gesturing for me to get in front of him. I pushed myself off the rock I was leaning against. I gave Feyre an overly sweet smile that had pulled a small laugh out of her.

Cassian didn’t waste a second once I found my footing. He was relentless. Throwing powerful punch after powerful punch. I willed myself to follow his movements, trying my best to predict them. His movements far too fast for my mind to keep up with. So I took a deep breath and pulled from that same spot I had been practicing with Rhys. Cassian cursed loudly and I know it worked. The thin black mist that reached out to him even further proof. He stumbled slightly as I took his sight. It was just for long enough that I was able to grab his fist as he swung blindly. I used my hold and his unstable feet to flip over him. I had his arm pressed against his back. The perfect angel that with a simple twist would break his arm. He shouted at me and I pulled back my powers, granting him his sight back.

“Not fair.” He panted out as I pushed him out of my hold. He caught himself with a fighter's grace, pulling himself onto his feet in one fluid motion.

“Oh suck it up you baby.” I said with a laugh at his outraged expression.

“You never told us you got your powers back.” Azriel spoke from the sidelines. I shrugged as if to say it was no big deal. And truly it wasn’t. I could already feel the toll that little bit had taken on me.

“Fine, you want to play that way…” Cassian started. “Azriel.” He finished. My head whipped to look at Cassian who was wearing a shit eating grin. I looked back to Azriel who just raised a challenging eyebrow at me. Never one to back down so easily, I gave him an exhausted wave of my hand. Singling him closer. We stood across from each other. Sizing each other up. Azriel and I haven't ever really sparred like this. Not hand to hand. Since we both favored daggers, it was always with weapons. I don’t even know if I could hit him. But I tried not to let that show on my face as I made the first move. He easily stepped out of the way, dodging my lunge at him. I whipped around and went to sweep his leg but he managed to dodge it again. A small smirk on his face as I looked up at him. My eyebrows set in a determined line and I forced myself to swing for his stomach. He grabbed my arm with ease, pushing it to the side and making me wobble trying to regain my footing.

“Stop dancing and actually fight.”

Cassian’s words had his head snap to him for just a second. But it was all the time I needed to flip him onto his back. His hands instantly grabbed on my hips as we fell to the ground. I heard the breath whoosh out from him, mostly in surprise as he stared up at me. Hazel eyes gleaming with something I didn’t want to think about. We just sat looking at each other before I leaned down and whispered in his ear.

“I think I like having you on your back. I should do it more often.” With a graceful swing of my legs, I suddenly was standing above him. He seemed to still be in shock and I nearly doubled over laughing. Rolling my eyes , I offered him a hand to stand up. He could have gotten up by himself. But I wanted to touch his skin, feel the warmth of his body again. My hips still felt the ghost of his touch like he had burned his touch into the skin underneath. He took my hand and instead of pulling himself up, he pulled me down. I yelped in surprise as he quickly flipped me over. Hovering over me, his arms caged around me so no parts of him were touching me. A far more restrained move than me straddling his hips just a few moments ago. I went to shove his chest and he caught my arm, pinning it above my head. All of my focus zeroed on that exact spot, his hand on my wrist. It took every bit of restraint I had to bite back the whimper building in my throat at the action. I shifted under him, trying to wiggle out of his grasp and that only made him grab my wrist tighter.

“What are you going to do now princess?” He rasped near my ear. Mirroring my early actions of leaning down close to me. That stupid nickname, the way it dripped off of his lips had my whole body heating up. It was too much. I could only suck in heavy breaths of his scent and it lit my whole body on fire. I ignored the urge to wrap my leg around his back and pull him against me. Instead I pulled my leg up and used my knee to push him off of me. Probably a little harder than necessary. He clearly wasn’t expecting it as he fell back, hands resting on either side of him. We both sat, chests rising and falling with heavy breaths, unable to look away from each other. I said nothing as I stood up, brushing the dirt off of my pants and walked over to where Cassian was standing. I might have added a little extra sway to my hips.

“Close your mouth, you’ll let flies in.” I all but growled lowly to Cassian as I approached his side.

“So we’re just going to ignore whatever that was?” Cassian said, his eyebrow raised at me. I wanted to ignore him too.

“We’re absolutely going to” I absolutely would not. But I wasn’t about to talk about it with Cassian of all people. As it was he was probably never going to let me live it down. I tried my hardest not to think about what Azriel had felt like underneath me. How his hands seemed so sure as they gripped my hips. The small quiet grunt that left his lips from his back hitting the ground. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to think about his gravelly voice in my ear. No, I would absolutely not think about Azriel for the rest of the day.

I passed Feyre from her position on the outside of the training ring. She raised an eyebrow at me before falling into step next to me. “If training always looks like that, I might have joined you all earlier.” She playfully hit my shoulder with her own and I fought the urge to groan. The action was so similar to Rhy that it was almost funny. They were absolutely perfect for each other, if he would only ever tell her they were mates. “So you and Azriel…” Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrow at her. She gave me a dramatic roll of her eyes, “How long have two been together.” My legs froze. When her words had fully sunk in, I started roaring with laughter. I doubled over and rested my hands on my knees. I was finally able to compose myself, I stood up and wiped the stray tear from my eye.

“I was serious.” She said, a confused look on her face.

“Sizing up the competition are we?” I said to her,

“Dodging the question, are we?” Her smile only grew as mine faded. “So not together then, I just thought…” I raised my hand to stop her, unable to hear anymore.

“He’s my brother’s best friend, his brother.” Was all I offered her. She looked like she wanted to press the issue but thought better of it. I left out a small sigh of relief as we walked back up to the house.

Somewhere in the day, after I cleaned away the sweat and grime from training, Mor came into my room. “We’re going to Rita’s tonight, if you want to come along?” Her eyes shone with mischief and I knew even if I didn’t want to, I would be going.

Mor didn’t even bother knocking as she came back with an arm full of dresses for me to try on. I had no shortage in my own closet but who was I to deny her the opportunity to play dress up.

She held up the first one for me to see, a striking red color that looked like it would show more than it covered. I laughed at the idea. “That’s far more your color than it is mine.” She beamed a smile at me and put it in a separate pile. Dress after dress was pulled out and presented to me, each one more and more revealing. I groaned inwardly at the scrap of a black dress she held up for me. I shook my head.

“Maybe I should just stay home.” I sighed. She gave me a dramatic pout.

“You haven’t seen the last one yet.” She held it out and I knew that was the one she had been saving.

It wasn’t exactly his shade of blue, and that made it even more perfect. Far enough off that it could be written off as a coincidence. The look Mor gave me told me she had that very thought when she picked it out. A deep scoop for the neck line, held together by a silver ring, a similar cut out right below it. It looked like it would stop about mid-thigh. Mor threw the dress into my arms and pushed me into the bathroom.

“We don’t have all day so get your cute ass in the dress.” She said as the door closed and I laughed loud enough for her to hear it through the wood. I stripped off my pajamas and realized the dress would not allow for any type of bra, so I took that off too. Wiggling slightly to get it over my thighs, I smoothed the dress down. It was nothing super out of the ordinary from what I’ve worn to Rita’s in the past but I suddenly felt very shy looking at myself in the mirror. The dress hugged my curves in all the right places and had enough support in the bust that it made up for the lack of a bra. I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves to walk out and show Mor.

When I walked out she gave a dramatic whistle. “That’s the one for sure. No one will be able to look away.” She raised her eyebrows at the suggestive comment and I felt heat rise in my cheeks. Both of us knew I only cared about one specific male's attention. One that would hardly give me a second glance.

She started on my makeup next, lining my eyes heavily with kohl. Blush wasn’t needed in this case, the sheer amount of alcohol we’d be consuming would do that for me. She swiped a red tinted gloss over my lips and turned me to face the mirror again. The black made the purple in my eyes pop, even I was unable to look away from my reflection. The gloss doing its job of making my lips look plump in a way that bordered on seduction. “You have outdone yourself” I complimented Mor and it was her turn for her cheeks to ting red. She shrugged off the compliment.

“I trust you to do your own hair. I’m going to get ready. We’re leaving in less than an hour, so be quick.” She snatched the discarded dresses off their spot on my bed and strolled out of the room.

I decided to leave my hair simple. The dress was enough of a statement on its own. My hair was still slightly curly from my bath earlier so I just left it down, twisting and pinning one side of it against my head. I pulled out some longer bits for the front and that was that. Giving myself a quick once over in the mirror, I started heading downstairs to meet the rest of my family.

It was late enough that Feyre had already gone to her bedroom for the night. But I was surprised to see my brother dressed and waiting, impatiently, for Mor and I. I walked down the stairs and three pairs of eyes turned to me at the sound of my heels clicking against the floor. My eyes found Rhys first, slightly disapproval at my outfit but he’d get over it. I rolled my eyes at him and then caught Azriel’s gaze.

I tried to ignore the way his eyes roved greedily over my figure. Blocked out the blush that rose all the way to my ears. His mouth was slightly open like he was going to say something but Cassian cut him off.

“You clean up nice, princess.” Another roll of my eyes.

“Who knew you knew how to put a shirt on Cas.” I teased back. I couldn’t find the courage to look over to Azriel again, scared of whatever look he was giving me. A look you certainly don’t give to friends or family. When I finally did glance over his way, I noticed his eyes were still on me, following my every shift with an intense look, like a hunter following prey.

“Let’s go, we’re burning moonlight.” Mor said, breaking whatever tension was in the room. She all but ran down the steps until she was on even ground. She wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me to the door, the males following behind us.

We laughed and pointed out things on our walk over to Rita’s. Mor and I walked a few steps ahead the entire time. The handful of times I risked a glance backwards, I noticed Azriel making a point to look anywhere but me. Which only brought more laughter from me.

Rita’s wasn’t super packed tonight, but the music could be heard from outside of the bar. The five of us strolled in the doors and I could already feel the music in my chest. A sultry rhythm that had me longing to pull Mor to the dance floor. But we first headed to the bar, ordering the strongest drinks that they had to offer. I winced slightly as I took my first sip.

No sooner than that sip did I do exactly that, pulling Mor by her hand into the crowd of bodies. I was slightly out of practice but I just let my body feel the music. Head tipped back with laughter as Mor and I danced together.

We only lasted a few songs before both of us needed new drinks. This time we stayed at the booth the others had picked out. Her and I slid into the seats. She rushed for the seat next to Cassian and Rhys, leaving me to sit next to Azriel. Fine, perfectly fine. I told myself as I sat down next to him. The booth was tight enough with three pairs of wings that our thighs were touching. My mind instantly flashing back to earlier in the day, the way my thighs had been slung over both of his hips. I squirmed in my seat and tried my best to focus on the conversation being had.

“No word from summer yet?” Cassian asked between sips of his own drink. Rhys sighed before shaking his head. He emptied his own glass and Cassian was already pushing another one towards him.

“Which means we will go to the humans tomorrow.” He kept his voice low, although it was unnecessary over the music. Cassian sucked his teeth but kept quiet. Mor stiffened ever so slightly before speaking up.

“I’ll stay in Velaris.” Her tone left nothing to be argued with. We all turned to our drinks, a comfortable silence falling over us. More drinks were consumed. My chest felt very warm and I knew a dopey smile was stuck on my face. At some point Azriel’s hand had slipped onto my knee as the conversation flowed.

“By the mother, she’s infuriating.” Rhys lamented into his glass, his response when Cassian asked how that relationship was going. “She has all of this power that I can sense, but she refuses to try to learn how to use it.” Cassian let out a roaring laugh.

“She’s gotta be stubborn if she’s ever going to deal with you. Someone here has to be able to tell you no.”

“ I would argue, you all keep me in check perfectly.” He laughed back. All of us joined in.

Mor went to get the next round of drinks and I downed mine, probably too quickly. The room started to spin just a little and I laid my head against Azriel’s shoulder. His arm instantly wrapped around me. Shadows wrapping around the two of us.

“You okay?” He said slowly to me. I looked up at him and gave him a small drunken nod. The motion made a laugh rumble through him. “I think you’ve had enough. I’m cutting you off, princess.” I pouted at him, my bottom lip sticking out. I could only blink up at him as he raised his free hand to untuck my lip, a scared finger lingering on my face. I suddenly couldn’t hear anything else in the room. All of my focus zeroing in on that hand on my face. I swore he was leaning in more than a second ago, his face a lot closer to mine than it had been. Rhys cleared his throat loud enough to make me jump. Azriel’s shadows retreated back to his side. My cheeks heated up as I pulled my eyes away from Azriel’s face. I had completely forgotten the others, who were now giving Azriel and I confused looks. All except Mor who had a self satisfied grin on her face.

We didn’t last much longer than that. All deciding that it was time to call it a night. We would need to be up in only a few hours to go to the human realm.

During the walk home, Azriel wouldn’t so much as look at me. Letting Mor and I once again led the way, albeit on slightly more wobbly legs. By the time we got to the house, my shoes were in my hand, feet screaming at the height of the heels. We all quickly said goodnight and headed towards our rooms. Walking up the stairs, my foot caught the edge of one of them and I would have fallen face first into the marble if not for a warm hand that wrapped around my arm. Azriel was standing beside me, my arm held lightly. I could only gawk at him as he pulled me upright.

“Maybe I should walk to your room so you don’t hurt yourself, or the house.” He spoke softly, a hint of a smile at the edge of his lips. I nodded, my tongue unable to find words.

So he did exactly that. We reached my door and I turned to him to say good night but he was much closer than I anticipated. Our eyes locked and we both stood frozen, unable to look away from each other. Before I could think of something else to say, he reached out a gentle hand and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. His hand lingered on my face. I felt my breath catch in my throat, mouth parting to say something, anything.

“Good night.” He spoke before I could. His hand dropped to his side and I tried not to pout as I echoed the words back to him. I stood outside my door and watched as he turned on his heel and walked down the hall to his own room.

I got dressed for bed in a daze. Nearly forgetting to wipe off the makeup on my face. I crawled into bed and let thoughts of the shadowslinger lull me to sleep.

I felt funny wearing the clothes that Feyre had picked out for me. Everything felt itchy and heavy against my skin. Gone were the typical cobwebs from the night court attire. Instead, Feyre helped lace me into a corset that she informed me I’m supposed to wear underneath my clothing. We compromised on a long sleeve shirt that had sheer sleeves but went up to my neck. It all felt very stuffy and Feyre laughed when I pointed that out to her.

“It’s supposed to be. Humans are a lot more…modest than high fae.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that. That was an understatement for sure. She helped me pin the simple linen skirt and tied up my hair in an intricate braid that rested on the top of my head. “There, you could pass perfectly for human, if it wasn’t for the ears.” She teased and I stuck my tongue out at her. Pulling my hair down in front of my ears. Thankfully, she turned her attention to Mor who was studying the clothes intensely.

“No fighting in these clothes.” She muttered, low enough that I wonder if she even meant to say it out loud.

“Women are expected to get married, have children and then plan the same for those children. Some might work, if they’re poorer.” Feyre explained. Mor nodded along to her words.

“Fae are the same in some places. Feyre slipped behind the screen in her room to start changing her own clothes.

“In the Court of Nightmares, females are…prized.” Mor’s voice had gone ice cold. My eyes drifted to her, remembering her own family. “We’re only valued for our ability to produce offspring. And being the most powerful in my family, everyone could see it, the day I first bleed it was over for me. I was hoping I could escape the same fate as the rest of my cousins, shackled into a loveless, and sometimes cruel, marriage. But when my power unleashed itself full force, I was suddenly the most sought after female in the court” She shuddered slightly. I tried to keep my face as those old memories resurfaced.

“What about your parents?” Feyre asked from behind the screen. Voice shaking slightly.

Mor gave out a cold, flat laugh. “They were beside themself. They could have a pick at any of the top ruling families. My pleas fell on deaf ears.” She took a steady breath. “The rest of the story is long and awful and this isn’t the time for it. But I say all of this to let you know I’m not coming with you.” I of course already knew this but I never gave much thought to the reasoning behind it. How the way humans treated females would open old wounds for Mor. Ways that she did everything in her power to avoid.

I tried to busy myself with fixing the layers of my clothes as they talked, letting them have a little bit of privacy.

“There are good days and hard days for me-even now. Don’t let the hard days win.” Mor said, giving Feyre a slight squeeze on the shoulder before she walked out of the room.

With Mor and Amren staying behind to watch Velaris, that left the five of us, Cassian, Azriel, Rhys, Feyre and myself. I had already walked up to Azriel’s side before Feyre blurted out. “I’ll fly with Azriel.” I couldn’t keep my face neutral, even as Azriel simply bowed his head. I tried to stomp down the jealousy at the way his shadows wrapped around her when Azriel scooped up Feyre into his arms. Tried not to think of the way those very arms had been wrapped around me last night. Cassian was at my side giving me a wink he said, “Guess you’re stuck with me. Try not to look so disappointed.”

“Elain.” Feyre’s voice broke around the name. The housekeeper had been giving her a hard time when the girl had appeared. The rest of us merely waited outside as Feyre walked through the doors of the manor.

I held my breath as Feyre greeted us at the doors. She led us into a large room in the house and I couldn’t help but look around. In awe of the manor before me. The resemblance between the three sisters was uncanny. The slope of a nose, the curve of full lips. Wide eyes that followed every move the Illryians made. The tallest took a small step in front of the other timid girl when she spied the two winged males. I fought the urge to scoff and stepped closer. Feyre simply introduced all of us to each other. The other’s didn’t dare move.

“Thank you for your hospitality.” Rhys said with a bow. The perfect example of a diplomatic high lord. Nesta’s welcome was less than ice cold. We followed her into the dining room and all took our seats.

The males, per usual, began scarfing down the food. Where they put it all, I would never know. Feyre ate with a look that would lead you to believe she was eating glass.

“Is there something wrong without food?” Nesta asked coldly. I fought the urge to shiver at her tone, the sheer discontent in those few words. “So you don’t eat normal food anymore- or are you too good for it?” Rhys and I put our forks down in sync. The way her voice dripped with challenge. How Nesta was related to Feyre, well if it wasn’t for their face, I would never have guessed it.

“I can eat, drink, fuck and fight just a well as before. Better, even.” At her words, the room seemed to heat up ever so slightly. Feyre herself being the source. I felt my eyes go wide at the thought of what could happen. Tempers flaring from both sides of the room.

“Can you really fly?” Elain asked Azriel. Trying to break the tension.

“Yes. We’re called Illyrians, a race of winged warriors.”

“Is it not frightening to be up so high?” She all but batted her eyelashes at him. I might have put a little bit more behind my fork as I picked at the food in front of me. He kept an even tone as he answered all of her questions. I could quickly tell Nesta was losing her patience, however small it was to begin with.

“If we’re all done eating then this meal is over.” She said as she walked out of the room. Leaving the rest of us reeling.

“Three rooms was rather generous of her.” I joked with Feyre as we walked around the house.

“If you want to go back, try to ask Nesta…”

“We’ll make it work.” I cut her off, I would never admit it outloud but there was something unnerving about Nesta. An intensity that set my teeth on edge. Plus, the clear disdain she holds for her sister ticked a certain nerve in me. How someone could be so callous towards a sibling that had sacrificed so much for them, I couldn’t imagine.

“She tends to have that effect on people.” Feyre said with a private laugh. I really did try to keep my tone neutral

“She seems very…” I didn’t have a kind word to say. My anger at the female clouded over anything else I could say about her. Feyre just nodded at me.

We both went to our separate rooms for the night. And I had just fallen asleep when a knock at the door woke me up. I was surprised to see Azriel at my door, expecting Rhys or maybe Feyre. “Cassian snores. Really loudly.” Azriel said in a softer tone that I knew he could use. I covered my mouth to hide the laugh that escaped me. He smiled my favorite lopsided smile at me and I opened the door to let him in.

This wasn’t out of the ordinary. Azriel and I had shared a bed many times, and had fallen asleep on each other even more times. I still remember me begging him to stay when my screaming had woken him up. But for some reason, the heat of his body behind me felt very different this time. We weren’t touching, not even his wings brushed up against me. His shadows curled around the edge of the bed like a sleeping dog. He might have well been right on top of me for how much I could sense his presence. I turned over onto my side, pulling my side of the blanket tighter around myself and tried to even my breathing with his. I tossed and turned for what felt like hours, unable to escape his smell as it wrapped around me. It only added to the overwhelming feeling of him. I squeezed my eyes tighter, pleading with myself to ignore him. To act like nothing had changed in my feelings for him. That my simple crush was crumbling out of my control into something more. Something I did not want to think about with him merely feet away from me.

I woke up warm. So warm that I burrowed myself back into the source of the warmth. Eyes shut, I basked in the feeling with a small content noise leaving my throat. The slight shift under me had my eyes flying open. Remembering exactly what had happened last night. Squinting the morning light out of my eyes, I took note of the arm wrapped around my waist. The way I was pulled tight against Azriel’s chest. My whole body flushed suddenly his body heat threatened to smother me. I tried to subtly slip out of his hold, but the motion only made his arm tighten around me more. I was pressed tight enough around him that I could feel every plane of his chest, every bit of muscle pressed up against me. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to whatever god would get me out of this situation. I struggled a little bit more, I felt my backside make contact with his hips. My actions caused a groan to echo in his chest, the noise making me freeze completely, scared to even breathe wrong.

I waited for a few moments before I continued my actions, being extremely careful of where exactly I was putting my weight. I let out a heavy breath when I managed to wiggle out of his hold. Azriel only rolled over and grabbed the pillow I had been half resting on. A smile snuck onto my face at the action. His shadows, up until then ignored, circled around my arm and that only seemed to make him stir more. He groaned again, moving over onto his back.

My eyes landed on his face and I nearly jumped out of the bed when I heard him rasp, “You’re staring princess.” I was thankful that his eyes were still closed as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Moving ever so slowly, I reached for one of the discarded pillows by the foot of the bed. His hand had already come up to stop it before I could toss it at his head.

“Now that wasn’t very nice.” His morning voice finally hit me, Azriel’s voice had always been on the lower side but laced with sleep, it bordered on sinful. The slight huskiness to it had me scrambling out of the bed, all but running to the bathroom. His light laughter hit my ears as the door closed. My head landed against the wooden door, running my hands over my face. I decided a cold bath would be in my best interest.

My mind kept wandering to the male outside the door as I peeled off my night clothes, thankfully Feyre had convinced me to bring longer, sturdier nightwear than I normally would have worn or else I think I would have lost my everloving mind last night. That groan running through my mind again had me all but diving into the bathtub.

I sat in the bath like a coward until I heard the door open and shut. I waited a few more moments before I finally pulled myself. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked timidly out of the bathing room, peaking out first to make sure it was all clear. Luckily, it was empty. A stupid twinge of disappointment runs through me and I push it aside. There were bigger issues for today.

I was thoroughly impressed with the progress Feyre had made. She had been able to light, drown and relight the candle a handful of times. My job was really only to stand as a buffer between her and Rhys. Be able to control the situation if she lost too much control of her powers.

“Maybe you should go.”

“Why?

“I can’t concentrate when you’re breathing down my neck.” She snapped at him. Before this could get any more flirty, I tugged on my brother's arm. Leaving the candle with her.

“Why do you insist on godding her like that?” I asked when we had gotten some distance.

“Because it’s fun.” I shot him a glare, “Alright, because it gets her out of her own head. It works. Plus I won’t deny it’s fun.”

“There he is.” I mutter. An hour or so had passed and I saw Rhys gathering a small bundle of food and a piece of paper to send along to Feyre. He hastily scribbled something on it but I didn’t care to read it. Barely a moment passed before the paper returned. Back and forth it went until it remained with her.A second passed, then another. My stomach sank. Rhys was already grabbing my arm to winnow us back to that clearing.

Nothing could prepare me for the sight in front of us. Feyre held by the neck by an Attor. Neither of us hesitated. It was as simple as breathing, blinding the Attor. It howled in rage as Rhys’ power exploded out of him. Feyre kicked her way out of its arms and I was instantly at her side. Crouching to pick her off the snow covered ground. The Atorr was bound in tendrils of inky-darkness.

“I was wondering when we would see your ugly face again. Answer my question and you can go back to your master.” Rhys all but purred.

“Whore.” Was all the answer he received. I reached out to my powers again, the Atorrs scream echoed through the clearing as he lost both his sight and hearing. Rhys nodded his head and I let it fade back into me. Breathing heavily, I knew I didn’t have another time in me.

“I was sent to get her.” the Attor paused. “I don’t know why.” Words did not stop spilling from the Attors mouth. A small satisfied smirk graced my face as I felt Azriel and Cassian land beside me.

“Next time you go after her, I’ll kill first and ask questions later.” Rhys said before Azriel and the Attor vanished. I shuddered at the knowledge of what was to come. How when I found Azriel later, he would be cleaning truth-teller until the blade gleamed again.

Cassian grabbed my hand and scooped me up in his arms. The distant shouting of Rhys and Feyre was enough to make him laugh. “Let’s leave them to kill each other in peace.”

“Who do you think would win?”

“My money’s on Feyre.” I laughed as he took off, flying us back to Velaris.

Taglist:@nickishadow139 @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx @durgenyx @i-am-infinite @mariahoedt @acourtofbatboydreams

I think that was everyone that asked to be tagged, as always let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for not telling someone I wasn't their bully 100% of the time

Hey so I was a shitty kid and i willbe TA for most of the story. However the ambiguous non-ending spins around my head nonstop

! In high-school I met a friend, Lacy (mtf) who had recently come out. We bonded over mutual Fandoms and shared classes and ended up pooling friends. I was already tight friends with one other girl we can call Sam. Sam went to another school but me and her had been best friends for many years and talked constantly online. After spending a lot of time with Lacy, and with L and S in a group, I started to get a little crush. Me and Lacy had this habit of passing comic notes to eachother between classes and they were just so fun. Anyways I ended up passing them one asking them out and she agreed. We talked about it casually after and I kept the note. In the background, me and Sam talk constantly about Lacy. Outside of school, online, Lacy often goes on long rants and tangents and caps it off being painfully self depreciating and insinuating self harm. I honestly don't hold that against her too much, given how young we were and how much stuff was going on. Very quickly I realize this tiny crush evaporates in the heat of her stomping rants. My gut sinks when Lacy mentions we are dating. It's been less than a day. Sam messages me immediately and I make the terrible snap decision to lie. I lie about it and I have the evidence so my version becomes correct. I tell Sam I didn't *really* ask Lacy out, blah blah. The lie doesn't end. Lacy has an explosive breakdown about it, well warranted, and I lie to adults and school administrators as well. We were friends, I guess she got too attached, we talk all the time but no. I never asked her to date. Papers signed, case closed. Lacy blocks me everywhere. The year ends. I resign to never speaking to her, as the unquestioned bully in this situation I wouldn't have the right to approach her about it. I think I send one anon ask completely unrelated to her or our lives, then block her back as is only fair.

Short hop forwards a month or two. Sam sends me a message about an update to Lacys blog. Lacy is otherkin and Sam is laughing at the kin list, sending anon messages mocking Lacy about the choices and identity. Very unfamiliar with otherkin but struggling with gender thoughts myself I don't respond much.

Fast forward a few years. Me and Sam don't talk much now. I got a boyfriend and couldn't help love how much he ignored me. Everything else fell through cracks. Working at my restaurant job one day, who else comes in but Lacy. We are very busy, I try to be quick, don't make eye contact. "Party of....for Lacy?" She nods. The lobby is full so they walk out the door and never come back. Later when my shift is over I unblock and check her blog. She's made a post saying I was her abuser and had sent her constant anon hate since bullying her in hs. Checking her ask tag I see Sam on anon sends 3-6 hate messages a year. I do nothing and leave everyone be and move on.

Another 3 years goes by. Sam reaches out. She's terminally ill, and we speak stiffly for a few IMs. I don't forgive myself for leaving her and decide it's best we don't keep talking. Another few years and Sam passes. Our old friends go through Sam's papers and pc files reminiscing and find pages and pages of shared chat logs between me L and S. It really was a harsh reminder of how cruel I had been, speaking behind Lacys back and lying. I don't doubt I caused her lasting trauma with my actions.

Part of me wanted to reach out to Lacy and apologize, explaining myself and the misunderstanding and clearing the lie not because I wanted to feel absolved I just that it's finally done now. But it feels so cruel to do it when 1. As the original bully it's still not my place to seek closure 2. I can't just toss my friends corpse under this bus for no reason.

It's soon a decade since we all left school so the time seems well past. I just can't stop thinking about all the mistakes. And there seems no reason to bring it all up after all Sam can't say anything about it anymore and nobody is hurt believing i said these things. So, AITA for not telling Lacy it wasn't me bullying her most of the time?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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seeminglyranch87 · 1 month

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Taylor & Travis Timeline

May 2024 - Part 2

May 16 - According to ET (x)

The duo traveled via boat to have dinner at Locanda La Tirlindana Restaurant. While on their way to the popular eatery, Swift and Kelce were photographed kissing.

May 17 - Taylor flies to Sweden, Travis flies to KC

ET reveal very interesting article that appears to be warming up the public to the idea that Taylor and Travis are soon to be (or as most swifties believe already are) engaged! (x)

According to ET,

Excitement over a potential engagement between Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce has been brewing and according to ET's source, a proposal might be on the horizon. The source tells ET, "Taylor and Travis are doing amazing, and their loved ones see an engagement coming sooner than later. They make a great match and there's no question about that."

The Eras Tour, Friends Arena, Stockholm, Sweden N1

I Think He Knows x Gorgeous (Travis' version) (guitar), Peter (piano)

May 18 - Kelce Jam (x) Kansas City.

The Eras Tour, Friends Arena, Stockholm, Sweden N2

Guilty as Sin (guitar) & Say Don't Go x Welcome to New York x Clean (piano)

Access Hollywood ask Travis what his favourite era is (x)

“Oh, I’m a big ‘1989’ era, but I’m not going to lie I might be a little biased towards ‘The Tortured Poets Department,’ just little bit,”

Travis is also asked what Taylor Swift song he'd include in Kelce Jam?

"Oh, that's a good one. Golly, So High School might be the only one that's just jumping into my mind right now. I think everyone could get fired up for that one. There are so many. The Man is my niece's favourite, so we can always go with The Man."

E! online. (x)

After the Kansas City Chiefs tight end enjoyed a romantic trip to Italy with girlfriend Taylor Swift, he couldn't help but rave about the experience—especially when it came to the "unbelievable" food. As he told reporters on the red carpet at his Kelce Jam concert in Kansas on May 18, his favorite meal during the getaway was a butter ravioli dish, which he called "amazing." Taylor and Travis' vacation—which included a sweet boat ride in Lake Como—clearly left an impression on the NFL star, who noted that the locale was "beautiful." He added, "It's the best food and the best views in the world." But as for Travis' favorite part of his entire Europe trip? That would be his experience at Taylor's Eras Tour concert in Paris on May 12 alongside Bradley Cooper and Gigi Hadid. "Taylor's shows are unbelievable," he told reporters. "If you haven't been to them, you gotta try them." And while Taylor's latest stop in Stockholm, Sweden, meant she wasn't able to attend Kelce Jam, the Grammy winner was able to show her support in other ways, according to Travis. He recalled that she told him to "go out and have fun." "She wishes she was here, I know that," he shared on the red carpet, "but she's got a lot of people she's performing for."

May 19 - The Eras Tour, Friends Arena, Stockholm, Sweden N3

Message In A Bottle x How You Get The Girl x New Romantics (Max Martin Medley) (guitar) & How Did It End? (piano)

Go to previous update -> May part 1

Go to next update -> May part 3

Return to the timeline

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timidloner · 2 years

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Dark Impulses is a 18+ yandere interactive fiction story with an emphasis on horror, romance, and erotic elements. It focuses on the corruption of the main character as they become irrevocably linked with a mysterious man who takes an extreme interest in them.

Link to demo.

Spotify playlist.

Working on: Chapter 1

Words published: 8,500

You live in dangerous times. Many say that the world is ending, others claim that this is just a trial that shall pass. But not even you as a member of the High Church know what the truth is. All you know is that dangerous creatures roam the streets at night, searching to spill innocent blood, and that Father Sun won’t answer your prayers.

Each day holds a bigger trial than the last, and while your faith in Him has kept you strong through it all, you fear the day it won’t be enough… A fear that becomes true when you met a stranger in the woods.

Change is coming, will you remain pure?

Customize your MC.

Gender: male, female, and nonbinary options. Transgender options will be added in the next update.

Appearance: complexion, eye color, height, and hair (color/type/length).

Personality: fiery, playful, and genuine.

Navigate the world through strength, charisma, intellect, or skullduggery.

Learn more about the darkness around you, and decide for yourself if it means the end or a new beginning.

Choose how to overcome the trails ahead of you, not all roads lead to a happy ending.

A (male) yandere love interest.

Accept his advances, try to befriend him, or grow to hate him.

This story contains sexual themes, gore, violence, dubious morality, child abuse, rape (bad endings), death, yandere tendencies, unhealthy relationships, and optional fetish content (dubcon, predator/prey, degradation, etc...). It's NOT for everyone. Do not play this to hurt yourself in any way.

Author's note: This is my first project ever, all my previous experience writing has been with fanfiction. But while I may be an amateur writer, this is a work made with love (<3) and I plan to do my best. Thank you very much for taking the time to read my story.

#dark impulses if #yandere game #male yandere #twine if #twine interactive fiction #dark content #dark fiction

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fandomtrashhh · 1 year

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Updated for Episode 12

So I did a thing. I went back to every episode of The Winchesters and I wrote down everything that Dean has said so far, and I realized moreso than before how EVERYTHING he says not only is the lesson/theme of the episode, but it all also applies to himself. Also, I'm not sure if other people realize this because not everyone is into classic rock as I am, (many of the songs are rock songs) but all the songs also match what the episodes are about. Let's start with episode 1.

Sorry if I overlooked something or for any mistakes, I did not rewatch every episode to make this.

I also apologize for how long this is. If I knew how to add the "read more" on this post I totally would.

Major spoilers for all episodes of the Winchesters ahead!!!

Episode 1, "Pilot": March 3rd, 1972. The day Dad came home from the war, and the day he met Mom. Now I know this story might sound familiar, but I'm gonna put the pieces together in a way that just might surprise you. And in order to do that, I have to start all the way at the beginning.

Obviously, Dean is just starting the story. He tells us this is when John and Mary are going to meet, and he's also foreshadowing what's to come. This is why I have high hopes for this show, because Dean says so in the beginning that even though you think you might know everything, there's really more to the story.

Dean also narrated at the very end of the episode:

What they didn't know is that the Akrida weren't just a threat to Earth, but to all of existence. Now, like I told you, there's gonna be some surprises. Hell, I'm still trying to find all the puzzle pieces myself. But I'll explain everything. And until then, I'll keep picking the music.

Also something to note is that this is the only episode that has a non music related title. I'm 100% sure that if it did have a song related title, it would be "I'd Love to Change the World" by Ten Years After. The beginning, when Dean is first narrating and while John is holding the letter that Dean gave him and pretty much up to the point where John and Mary run into each other, that song is playing. Then at the very end of the episode, when we see Dean in the flesh, it's playing again. I find this VERY interesting, especially since the music applies to everything in this show. This leads me to believe that Dean really is trying to change something because the song literally says "I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do, so I'll leave it up to you." (The song also mentions bees, which I thought was interesting. That could be nothing, though.)

Episode 2 "Teach Your Children Well": The ties that bind a family together can be complicated. Parents raise you, teach you what's right and wrong, and in some instances, how to kill monsters. But no matter who you are, there comes a time when you have to break from them and make your own way. And if you're not careful, things can get pretty ugly.

“Teach Your Children Well” by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. Let me show you some of the lyrics:

“You, who are on the road

Must have a code that you can live by

And so, become yourself

Because the past is just a goodbye

Teach your children well

Their father's hell did slowly go by

And feed them on your dreams

The one they pick's the one you'll know by

Don't you ever ask them, "Why?"

If they told you, you would cry

So just look at them and sigh

And know they love you”

A big theme in this episode is parents, the guy who goes missing at the beginning for one, but mostly about John’s parents. John and Millie argue over John hunting and all around the episode is about kids forging their own paths and how it can cause issues which I feel like can definitely apply to Dean and how he discovers his identity away from his father and how the things his father put them through were wrong and how that caused issues.

Episode 3 "You’re Lost Little Girl": There's no map to being a hunter. No playbook. You gotta follow your gut. But that can only take you so far. Truth is, you can't do it all on your own. You need other people to help guide the way-- your friends, your family. Otherwise you just end up lost.

“You’re Lost Little Girl” is by The Doors. Some lyrics:

“You're lost little girl

You're lost little girl

You're lost, tell me who

Are you?

Think that you know what to do

Impossible? Yes, but it's true

I think that you know what to do

Yeah

Sure that you know what to do”

In this episode, Mary gets taken by a monster and everyone is trying to find her. Mary thinks that she doesn’t need anyone to help her because she’s a good hunter, but she ends up needing them to save her. It’s the same with Dean, Dean is an amazing hunter, but he still needs his friends and his family.

Episode 4, "Masters of War": Fighting the battle between good and evil isn't easy, especially when the first monster you have to face is the one inside yourself.

“Masters of War” is by Bob Dylan.

The lyrics for this song are very meaningful and well done. To put it simply, it’s about war and criticism of war.

“You fasten all the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you sit back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

While the young people's blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud”

In this episode, John and Carlos talk about their trauma from the Vietnam War and we really get an insight to how much anger John has in him. John is Dean’s parallel in this episode because Dean has a lot of unresolved trauma and deep rooted anger that is mentioned in Supernatural and it also fits because Dean was used as a weapon in a war against the supernatural from a young age.

Episode 5, "Legacy of a Mind": Spending a lifetime of hunting monsters takes its toll. There comes a time when you gotta let out that pain inside you. If you don't, it'll eat you alive.

The song “Legacy of a Mind” is by The Moody Blues

“He'll fly his astral plane

Takes you trips around the bay

Brings you back the same day”

This can be applied to what happens in this episode where Mary is stuck in her own head and has to face her trauma, and this song pretty much talks about trippy things like the lyrics above.

This applies so well to the episode because this episode deals with the complicated relationship that Mary has with her parents and her dealing with the trauma she has with being trained to be a hunter from a very young age and how it was wrong of them to do that to her, but she still loves her parents. This also applies to Dean, since John taught him about hunting from a young age, the same way Samuel and Deanna did to Mary. Mary is once again the Dean parallel, like she often is in this show.

Episode 6 "Art of Dying": Hunting has a way of changing a person. After a while, right, wrong, good, evil, they all start to look the same. And then it makes you start to wonder, "Who's really the monster here -- them or me?"

This is the only other episode where Dean narrated at the end:

Hunting's not for everyone. You have to be strong, stay sharp, make tough decisions, and it's not easy, but then again, the righteous things never are.

The Art of Dying is by George Harrison:

"There'll come a time when all of us must leave here

Then nothing sister Mary can do

Will keep me here with you

As nothing in this life that I've been trying

Could equal or surpass the art of dying

Do you believe me?"

and then the end of the song goes:

"There'll come a time when most of us return here

Brought back by our desire to be

A perfect entity

Living through a million years of crying

Until you've realized the art of dying

Do you believe me?"

This episode the core four finds a case involving an older hunter buddy of Mary's and it turns out that the monster is the ghost of the hunter's friend who the hunter friend and her group killed because he went too dark in magic. That's how the episode applies to Dean's monologue, along with Lata's fear of turning into someone horrible and letting her anger control her. John also (kinda) confronts his anger in this episode. The monologue also talks about how being a hunter is hard, but doing the right thing never is, which also applies to the characters of this episode, especially Lata. This applies to Dean because he really dealt with feelings like that during SPN, and being angry all the time and feeling like he was a monster, and how he always chooses to do the right thing when it comes down to saving the world, even when it's near impossible to.

Episode 7 "Reflections": There comes a time in every hunt when the fightin' starts. And the difference between winning and losing isn't whether you have the holy water, the wooden stake, or the silver bullet. It's whether you've got the grit to get the job done.

Reflections is by the Supremes:

"Through the mirror of my mind

Through all these tears that I'm crying

Reflects a hurt I can't control

Although you're gone

I keep holding on

To those happy times

Oh, girl when you were mine

As I peer through the windows

Of lost time

Keeping looking over my yesterdays

And all the love I gave all in vain

(All the love) All the love

That I've wasted

(All the tears) All the tears

That I've tasted

All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears

I see a dream that's lost

From the hurt baby

That you have caused"

I think this one represents loss, especially the loss of Henry. Dean's monologue ties into this because in this episode there are multiple instances where the characters show real strength and bravery in order to come out the other side with a win. And this can obviously be applied to Dean and everything he has done and hunted and how brave he had to be to be able to actually get the job done.

Episode 8, "Hang on to Your Life”: Being a hunter, it means living a life of sacrifice-- not a lot of room for dreams. But if you open your heart and get a little lucky, you'll find you gain more than you lose.

Hang On To Your Life is by Guess Who:

“Thinking 'bout it's here and it's real

Wondering how I really should feel

Well you can sell your soul

But don't you sell it too cheap

Hang on to your life, oh life, oh life, oh life, oh life

Hang on to your life

Thinking 'bout betraying a friend

Thinking 'bout delaying the end

Well you can ride the wind

But don't you ride it too high”

This episode is about Carlos’ dream of being a musician and how he had to give that up when he became a hunter. The parts about selling his soul and betraying a friend applies to the band member that Carlos used to play with and how he accidentally made a deal and because he “betrayed” Carlos by selling him out to Loki.

Dean’s monologue applies to the theme of found family in this episode. Even though they’re all a part of this life and had to give up their dreams, there is good that came from it in the form of family and friends, the same way that Dean found himself a family in the midst of it all. This is also the episode where John and Mary decided to get together, again proving that they can find something worthwhile, right before they found the picture of Dean. (Insert Miranda Cosgrove meme)

Episode 9 "Cast Your Fate to the Wind": This isn't how I saw things going when I pushed over that first domino. Thing is, I've had more than a few dances with free will and fate, but as my dad used to say, "Fate is what you make it."

The song here is actually a song that I didn’t know. It’s a jazz song by Vince Guaraldi. Honestly, reading the lyrics to this song make me think SO MUCH of John and who he becomes, and I’m actually going to put in the entire lyrics because I can’t chose one section that I feel is most important:

“A month of nights, a year of days

Octobers drifting into Mays

I set my sail when the tide comes in

And I just cast my fate to the wind

I shift my course along the breeze

Won't sail up wind on memories

The empty sky is my best friend

And I just cast my fate to the wind

That time has a way of changing a man throughout the years

And now I’m rearranging my life through all my tears

Alone, alone, alone

There never was, there couldn't be

A place in time for men like me

Who'd drink the dark and laugh at day

And let their wildest dreams blow away

That time has a way of changing a man throughout the years

And now I’m rearranging my life through all my tears

Alone, alone, alone

So now I’m old, I’m wise, I’m smart

I’m just a man with half a heart

I wonder how it might have been

Had I not cast my fate to the wind

To the wind, to the wind”

Like, come on. This is so John coded in who he becomes and what happens to him. In terms of how this song applies to the episode though, it applies to the theme of fate throughout the episode, which ties in with what Dean says at the beginning. “Fate is what you make it.” This speaks true to John in this episode because he uses the knowledge of his death to his advantage and makes his own fate, which Millie uses the “fate is what you make it” line. I find this episode very interesting because they use the theme of fate in an episode that deals with vampires, and has a whole scene that parallels 15x18 AND Carlos gets to kiss his male love interest. Dean’s monologue at the beginning applies to himself because he’s dealt with fate and free will plenty of times in Supernatural.

I also find it interesting that Dean said that this isn't how he saw things going when he pushed over that first domino, which begs the question of what did he expect? What was his goal in doing all of this? It's also worth noting that immediately after he says that he says "fate is what you make it," saying the two apply to each other, go hand in hand. I don't think it's a stretch to say that whatever his intentions were, whatever he did, had to do with controlling his own fate.

So, just to recap: in an episode where the two main characters are dealing with being in a new relationship and whether or not they want to tell people, one of those main characters dies from a vampire in a direct parallel to the 15x18 confession, and two men have an on screen kiss for the first time, and the entire theme of the episode is fate. That's VERY interesting to me.

Episode 10 "Suspicious Minds": Hunting and happy endings don't usually mix, so when you get your chance, you got to ask yourself, "How far will I go to get it?"

This can be read as a direct tie in to his monologue in the last episode! It's along the same lines!!

Something I've noticed is that each episode I feel like the monologues get deeper and more meaningful, the farther we go the more is revealed.

This Dean monologue ends right as John and Mary get interrupted while they're kissing and Mary says "normal will have to wait another day" while there's a close up of Mary's college application as a mirror to SPN 15x20 with Dean's job application. Something I thought was interesting.

Suspicious Minds is an Elvis Presley song, which I know that the trend here is to include 60's and 70's songs, but knowing the intense meaning of Elvis in the Destiel fandom makes me feel a little unwell knowing Elvis actually gets incorporated into the text.

"Oh, let our love survive

I'll dry the tears from your eyes

Let's don't let a good thing die

When honey, you know I've never lied to you

Mmm, yeah, yeah

We're caught in a trap

I can't walk out

Because I love you too much, baby

Why can't you see

What you're doing to me

When you don't believe a word I say?"

So this is very much talking about one of the big plot points of this episode, a man who tries to bring his dead wife back to life in such desperation that he's willing to kill innocents to do it. Now the parallels drawn in this episode are very intentional to both John and Mary, even including the dialogue they speak after they kill said man and how John thinks that's love and Mary thinks it's horrible and she essentially makes him promise that that will never be them (clear foreshadowing) when in reality, even though it's showing that John already had the mindset of "doing it out of love" as he does in the future, they're both guilty of that. Mary brings John back to life when Azazel kills him, and as we all know, after Mary's death John goes on a revenge mission, wasting his life and putting his children through hell in the process. It's also just a running theme throughout SPN of toxic codependency and how almost every major character is also guilty of going to great lengths to bring the ones they love back. The song lyrics also apply to John and Mary as a romantic relationship as well and can show how their relationship is now and foreshadow what will happen in the future.

The thing that is different about this episode though, is that even though the parallels in this episode can apply to Dean, the actual Dean monologue doesn't, and this is what I find really weird and what I think is honestly one of the biggest indications that Jensen really is writing a fix it fanfiction:

This is the only episode where his monologue doesn't directly apply to himself. Every other episode ties in to his own experiences, except for this one. Dean doesn't go to great lengths to get himself a happy ending. Happy endings for other characters? Absolutely. But not for himself. Why would this be the only episode that doesn't directly relate to him? Well me and a lot of other people think because it really does apply to himself. But not as something he experienced in the past or has knowledge on, but as something he is doing right now. He is actively changing his future, possibly even a future with Cas (I do really think that there's a solid possibility that Destiel will become 100% canon in this show because of how everything is being set up, all of the parallels, and the fact that some of the cast, the social media team, and an executive producer has acknowledged some of these said parallels.) So in the end, how far will Dean go to get his happy ending?

Episode 11 "You've Got a Friend": Being a hunter means always being on the move. But no matter how hard you plan, no matter how hard you work, at a certain point, we all run out of road. It's what we do with those crossroads that define us.

"You've Got a Friend" is a song by Carole King from 1971:

"When you're down and troubled

And you need some lovin' care

And nothin', nothin' is goin' right

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name

And you know, wherever I am

I'll come runnin'

To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall

All you have to do is call

And I'll be there

You've got a friend"

This represents Betty, and how in this episode she goes from being a potential source of trouble for the gang to becoming an ally, or a "friend" and an inside woman for them. This also can be applied to Carlos and Lata because Carlos was there for Lata and helped support her while Lata told Carlos about her childhood trauma.

In this episode, Dean's monologue is about the choices you make before you die. This can be seen in the choices made throughout this episode by multiple characters (Betty, Mary, John, etc) and this ties in with the song because no matter what choices you make, you'll have your friends by your side, which is true to Dean and just Supernatural as whole with their message of family and found family. Admittedly, I feel like the connection to Dean's voiceover and to the title of this episode aren't as strong as a lot of the previous episodes, but they're still there. (Betty, the "friend," makes a choice to work with the rest of the gang.) At the same time, I believe this can also be another instance of foreshadowing because Dean is dead, he's at that metaphorical cross road, and he's making a choice to go into the past.

As I said above, Lata faced her trauma. This is the 4th or 5th instance of someone on this show confronting their past. At this point, it's become a theme. Why would the show reiterate this point over and over? I think this will tie into Dean's reasons for why he's in the 70's. Not to mention this was yet ANOTHER episode where 2 characters are trapped in a room, and this time because of a shadow monster, and the only way to get out is if one confesses a deep secret. What the fuck.

Something to keep in mind is how much this episode emphasized secrets. This seems to foreshadow the fact that Dean is harboring some huge secrets that will soon be discovered. I think the real question now is how will these secrets be revealed to the audience and to our characters?

Episode 12 "The Tears of a Clown": Hunting is a dishonest business. You lie about who you are, and what you do. But the hardest lies aren't what you tell other people, but what you tell yourself."

The song "The Tears of a Clown" was released in 1967 by Smokey Robinson & The Miracles:

"Now if there's a smile on my face

It's only there trying to fool the public

But when it comes down to fooling you

Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression

Give you the wrong impression

Really I'm sad, oh I'm sadder than sad

You're gone and I'm hurting so bad

Like a clown I appear to be glad (sad, sad, sad, sad)"

Okay, so this episode gave me a lot of brainrot. What the song is expressing is that even if you seem happy, that doesn't mean you are, and that was the big theme of this episode. Just because you seem okay or even think you're okay, that doesn't mean you are. With John, that applies to his anger issues and his unresolved issues with being charged for a murder he didn't commit. For Mary, it's the issues she already has, plus being unhappy in her relationship with John because she thinks he's using their relationship as an escape, and this also applies to her because even though she got accepted into college, she hadn't really taken any steps towards a normal life since then. In general, this episode was about a clown who lures emotionally vulnerable people into his circus tent so he can force them to be "happy" even though they aren't, like we saw with Roger.

This can very much apply to Dean's voice over, because the characters in this episode, including the clown, are actively lying to themselves.

The thing is, like a lot of Dean's voice overs, it's intentionally vague. He could be referring to literally anything. In the context of this episode, it makes the most sense that this is referring to Dean's anger issues and the fact that throughout the entirety of Supernatural, Dean oftentimes told himself and the people around him that he was okay, even though he wasn't. But at the same time, these voice overs and one like this in particular can be interpreted in different ways. What Dean says about facing the lies you tell yourself can apply to sexuality. Dean could be talking about not only his mental and emotional issues, but he could also be referencing being in love with Cas. At this point, Destiel happening feels like genuine build up. Now all we have to do is wait a couple more days to see if it all pays off.

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pisupsala · 2 years

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One for The History Books [Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw] | Complete | Index

[Summary] You are an archivist at the Pentagon, sent on assignment to TOPGUN to catalog and report on a top secret mission. In the days under the Californian sun, a certain naval aviator puts your once orderly life in a tailspin that you might never recover from.

[Pairing] Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x fem!oc

[Warnings] Mature content: swearing, (explicit) smut. 18+ only.

[Chapter 1]Don't Take The Bait [Chapter 2]Threading Water [Chapter 3]Strain [Chapter 4]Anchor [Chapter 5]Drown Me [Chapter 6]Adrift [Chapter 7]Reeling [Chapter 8]Surface Tension [Chapter 9]Breaking for Air [Chapter 10]Cresting [Chapter 11]Ripples [Chapter 12]Low Tide [Chapter 13]High Tide [Chapter 14]Becalmed [Chapter 15]Taking on Water [Chapter 16]Waterlogged [Chapter 17]Sinking [Chapter 18]Capsizing [Chapter 19]Rock Bottom [Chapter 20]Reaching the Shallows [Chapter 21]Landfall [Epilogue] [Side Stories/One Shots] Where Else Would I Be? Summary | He's been gone for so long.

Any Way The Wind Blows Summary | There’s a sudden shift in the mood.

Wish You Were Here | part 1 | part 2 Summary | Some things you’d rather not face alone.

[Final Update 22.02] With Wish You Were Here part 2 out, the story is really really over now. Lots of people stuck with me and the story since June last year, and I'm super grateful for that. When I write, I try not to look too much at how many notes something gets because I want to enjoy writing and write what I enjoy. And I'm only glad if you like it too. Every note I get is one person more than I thought would read it. So when I saw the index had over something over 500 notes, I got a little choked up tbh. Now it's time to say goodbye to these two idiots, and I'm probably going to have a little cry over that. But I hope to see you again in the next story <3 [Update 22.10]So, lmao at myself for nearly writing triple the chapters that I thought I would. I ended up adding additional plots lines and kept coming up with things I wanted to write about. So now I know how the story will end + I have an epilogue in mind. So I will stop stuffing it with other storylines that I hadn't introduced yet, and any new scenes I want to explore I will start writing as one-shots or side stories. Also I have almost 200 followers! [Update 31.08]Yeah, that was an unplanned "hiatus" to take care of some real life situations. Good news, it's all sorted, and I'm still committed to finishing this story. Thanks for all the comments and support I got in the last ... 8 weeks? I really hope this story will be worth the wait! [note] I decided it was a good moment to start collating all chapters of One for The History Books in a masterlist. I usually update the index in all chapters separately, but as I'm working on chapter 6 now, it's getting a bit much. I want to thank everyone who is reading my story and leaving comments. It seriously makes my day <3 Looking back at some chapters, I feel they would benefit from some stricter editing — I'm planning to finish the story in its current form, and will probably edit more strenuously when I repost on AO3. Thank you for sticking with the story, it means a lot to me!

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw x female reader #rooster bradshaw #top gun maverick #rooster fanfic #rooster top gun #rooster x oc

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padfootagain · 1 year

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The Last Chance (III)

Chapter 3 : Loving

Here is the third and last part of my short series for Ben, that I’ve written based on a request for my Comeback Event! The trope requested was ‘wrong time to right time’.

Alright I am referring here to one of Ben’s cover and you can actually find it on youtube, I have checked (and it’s so pretty nzlnfinfeoii); and I’m also using his acoustic video for 11:11 (you know, the one with the piano and the pretty sunset…). Just so you know, you can listen to these on youtube, if you want to.

Also, did I cry at 1am writing this ending? Absolutely, get the tissues ready!

I hope you like this last part! Tell me what you think about it!

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x reader

Warning: angst… with a happy ending 😉 And this time, it really is a fluffy ending! Also, mentions of Covid and quarantine.

Summary: you and Ben have been caught in a game of hide and seek for decades now; always loving each other at the wrong time in your lives. Can this finally be the right moment for the two of you?

Word count: 7821

You check the news again, but it’s the same thing everywhere…

Your holidays might get way longer than you intended them to be.

“So, you’re sure you can’t come back?”

Your boss’s voice comes through your phone distorted and more high-pitched than it really is. She sounds worried more than annoyed.

“Yeah, all flights going out of the US are cancelled.”

“Damn… bloody virus… Do you want us to handle anything for you here? A pet? A plant? An annoying parent?”

“No, I’m all good, thank you,” you laugh. “My mom is taking care of my plants already. I’ll be fine. I’ll try to come back as soon as I can, I’m sure the embassy will come up with a plan in the coming weeks.”

“Okay, well… be careful while you’re there. Do you have somewhere to stay? You can’t stay at the hotel for too long.”

“I haven’t found out where I’m going to stay for now, but… I’ll figure something out, don’t worry.”

“Alright. Well… if you could take a few notes for a future article, it would be great. Like ‘our journalist’s experience of Covid from the US’. Or… ‘stuck with the virus in LA.’ Oh that one sounds good…”

You laugh at your boss, promising to keep her updated and to take notes for an article, and you heave a sigh.

You’re stuck here. The new restrictions for Covid mean that you can’t get a flight to London. Not for the next two more weeks, at least.

You have no idea what to do… For now, you can pay for the hotel room, but if this lasts for longer that these two weeks, then you’ll have to find another place to live.

What are you going to do?

Your phone vibrates in your hand, and Ben’s name appear on the screen. You can’t refrain a small smile.

You’ve been friends for years now, ever since he travelled back to LA from London that spring, when you met again in this bookshop. You can’t say that he’s your closest friend, but you keep in touch. You call each other at least once a month, and whenever he comes to see his family, you manage to spend some time together. Besides… he’s still your best friend, in a way. Sure, he’s not the one you talk to the most, but he’s undoubtedly the person you trust the most on this earth. You would be lying if you pretended that you didn’t come to LA for your three-weeks long vacation for him.

You accept the incoming call, a smile on your lips.

“Hi, Ben!”

“Hey! Huh… how are you?”

“I’m fine. You?”

“Good… I was calling you because I saw on the news that all flights towards the UK are cancelled. Is your plane cancelled as well?”

“Yep! New restrictions for Covid, so… I’m stuck here for now.”

“Shit! I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ve warned everyone at home, and my boss has decided that my little adventure in LA will make a great article. So, it could be worse, really.”

He chuckles.

“I’m not surprised about your boss, for a reason.”

“Me neither.”

“But… can’t they plan something for people living in the UK to go home?”

“For now, nothing. I’ve contacted the embassy: they’ve announced that it will take at least a couple of weeks to organize something to get us all home.”

“I see. Do you have a place to stay?”

“Well, so far, I can pay for the hotel. If it takes longer than two weeks, it might get tricky, but we’ll see…”

“Don’t be silly!” he interrupts you. “You’re not going to stay at a hotel and pay for a room when I live here.”

“That’s… what I’ve been doing for the past three weeks…”

“Yes, because you said you didn’t want to bother me, and these were your vacations, so I get it that you didn’t want to have me around 24/7,” he interrupts you again, and you can hear in his tone that he’s rolling his eyes. “But now it’s different. What if it takes longer than that? No, you should come over. I have a guest room, you’ll be comfortable, and you won’t empty your bank account because of this mess. Come on, say yes.”

You heave a sigh, but can’t find any argument against him.

“Alright, I’ll come over.”

“Good, I’ll be at your hotel in an hour, I’ll pick you up.”

“I can take the bus…”

“Y/N. Stop it.”

“But…”

“You’re so annoying, always refusing people’s help…”

He’s mumbling, and you can hear that he is annoyed, in a tender way. It makes you smile fondly.

“Alright, I’ll wait for my chauffeur, then.”

“Perfect, see you.”

Ben ends the call and puts down his phone on his piano. You’re coming over…

You’re… you’re staying, actually.

He grabs a paper and a pen and starts a list.

Groceries

Vacuum

Bed

Dinner

Did he forget something? He doesn’t think so.

He’s got to clean up the apartment (that is already spotless), change the sheets of your bed (which are already perfectly clean), he needs to go buy some groceries (even though his fridge is full, but he doesn’t have any of the biscuits you like, and if you’re staying for a while, you’ll probably need some tampons or pads, and he’s seen in your apartment the brand you usually use, so he knows what to get for you), and he needs to buy dinner before picking you up (he tries to think of something fancy but he reckons a pizza will be perfect).

He frowns when his phone buzzes on his piano, and picks it up again to check the text he’s just received.

Monica.

He ignores the message, and crosses his apartment to change the sheets of your bed.

He broke up with her three weeks before, but he doesn’t blame her for being a little clingy, for trying to get him back. But there’s no use.

Three weeks before, that was when you knocked on his front door as a surprise, with a pack of beers and a pizza and his favourite jaffa cakes. That was when you spent the evening laughing, and rambling about your lives, until you both fell asleep while watching some crappy TV. That was when he woke up with you in his arms, cuddled up into his side. That was when he spent over half an hour just… staring at you. Studying your features. Trying to remember every detail about you.

And it was ridiculous because your lives were different, ridiculously so. Still, he wanted to kiss you that morning. He wanted to hold you tight, and to never let go again.

How could he be with Monica after that?

He heaves a sigh at the thought. He shouldn’t be feeling like that. The two of you are friends, and it’s better this way. Still… he’s nervous at the thought of you coming here and staying over.

He heaves another sigh as he throws the sheets in the washing machine. He’s being ridiculous. Absolutely, completely, irrevocably ridiculous.

Still, he double-checks that he’s put an extra blanket on your bed, because he knows how cold you get in the first hours of the morning.

Maybe you’re a little drunk. Maybe… maybe you’re very drunk at this point.

You don’t mind though, Ben has seen you in a worse shape than this. He’s seen you with a stomach flu, he’s seen you drunk enough to throw up for hours, he’s held your hair while you were sick, he’s kissed your burning forehead when you had fever, he’s helped you undress and shower when you were too weak to stand…

You’re not worried about misbehaving, about being silly. Not with him. And especially not now, when he’s slowly moving beyond the state of tipsiness. He’s particularly goofy tonight, being his usual hilarious self, and you love it. Every second of it. His ridiculous funny faces and his weird voices and his stupid jokes. You love everything about it. Your sides are painful after so much laughing, and you can’t remember the last time you were this merry.

It feels good. It feels peaceful and safe. He makes you forget about the pandemic, about you being stuck here instead of being with your family in London; he makes you forget about how worried you are about your parents, and your friends; he makes you forget about your job, about your boss and her stupid article.

As you look at him standing up to get more crisps, you can’t help but let your gaze travel across his frame. You just can’t. He’s too handsome for that, and you are too drunk.

Your gaze travels across his living room as you wait for him, and lingers on his piano. You’re happy he’s finally been learning how to play. You know he’s always wanted to. You’re happy for him. You’re happy about his career, about this life he has built for himself; a life that clearly suits him.

You don’t wait for him to sit down by your side again to speak to him, and you ask the question that’s on the tip of your tongue as soon as you hear him turning off the light of the kitchen.

“Can you play something for me?”

He raises up an eyebrow, looking at you questioningly before putting down the plate of crisps on the coffee table.

“Play? Play what?”

“The piano, of course.”

“Yeah, I got that, thank you,” he rolls his eyes. “I mean… why do you want me to play all of a sudden?”

“Because… I’ve seen you play the drums, I’ve watched you sing, you’ve played the guitar for me too… but never the piano.”

He chuckles, looking at you as if you’re a little mad, but he ends up shrugging anyway.

“If you want to, sure.”

“YES!”

You jump to your feet, almost falling in your inebriated state, and you rush to sit before the piano, scooting over to leave enough space for Ben to sit by your side.

He explodes with laughter at your silly behaviour.

“What can you play?” you ask him, being serious again.

Your words are a little slurred because of the red wine you’ve been drinking during the evening. He finds it charming.

He thinks about what he could play for a moment.

“I’ve been learning some Bowie…”

He’s interrupted by your gasp.

“Oh dear… can you play Space Oddity? I remember… you used to sing this song to me all the time when we were in College. I loved it.”

“You did?”

“Of course! Your voice is beautiful!”

He chuckles, blushing fiercely.

“Alright, I can give it a try. But don’t laugh at my musical skills! I’m still learning the piano.”

“I know nothing about music, I am not the one who is going to criticize you in any way.”

He gives you a tender smile as he takes a seat by your side.

You are so close like this, shoulder against shoulder. His heart is skipping beats, and jumping every time you move against him.

“Alright… give me a second.”

He plays a few notes to get ready, before clearing his throat. He’s blushing hard, and it’s adorable. You rest your head on his shoulder as he starts playing the song.

You close your eyes when he starts singing, his voice deep and soft and warm…

You hope he doesn’t notice too much the way you reach to hold on the aim of his black t-shirt, but you need something to hold onto. It’s a little too overwhelming for you to handle on your own.

You smile, listening closely. And it’s perfect. It always is with him…

When his voice finally dies out in a soft humming, you don’t want it to be over. The last note of the piano wanes, shushed down as it spreads through the room, bumps into the furniture and the walls. You breathe deeply his scent, something of wood and spices, and you love it. It’s warm and welcoming, just like him.

You’re surprised when he leans down to drop a kiss on your head, but you don’t complain. You smile instead.

“So… how bad was it?” he jokes.

“It was beautiful, as usual.”

He chuckles, and you tighten your hold on his t-shirt while a happy smile spreads across your lips.

“Not too disappointed by your private performance? You know these don’t come cheap, right?”

“Hmm… well, I’m sure I’ll repay that debt, one day.”

He kisses your hair again, and you snuggle closer to him, until he reaches out to wrap his arm around you, pulling you to him.

He’s got butterflies in his stomach like he hasn’t felt for years. His heart is pounding and yet he feels at peace like this, holding you close, his lips against your hair, breathing in deeply the smell of cherries from your shampoo.

He hasn’t felt this way in years. In fact… he reckons he hasn’t felt this way since London…

“Why do you not work more on your music?”

You look up at him with a questioning look, but he shrugs.

“I do. I’ve learnt the piano.”

“Yes, but… you’ve always wanted to write songs, to play your own music… why do you not do it? It’s not as if you lacked the talent for it.”

“I don’t think I’m that good,” he chuckles, but you’re having none of it.

“Now, that’s bullshit. And you know it. You’re just scared, don’t hide behind excuses.”

You’ve always been more direct than usual when you’re drunk. He likes it. He needs to hear things like that, every now and then.

“I don’t know, I just… I love acting. I don’t want music to be my main career. But… you’re right, I want to give it more space in my life.”

“Then, give it more space. I mean… we’re stuck here. You can’t work anyway, so… might as well use your free time to do something you’ve always wanted to do.”

His smile grows fonder.

“I love how blunt you are when you’re drunk. It’s annoying. You’re always right.”

“I’m always right when I’m sober too!”

He laughs at you, running a hand through your hair.

“And what should I do then? About music?”

You shrug.

“Write songs.”

“I’ve always done that.”

“Snippets, yes, but… I don’t know. Just… compose. Make your own music.”

“What should I write about?”

“About… whatever you want to express, but can’t say in any other way. Isn’t that what art is supposed to be about? Telling stories and sharing feelings that you can’t just… say out loud? You need the artifice of music, of poetry, of fantasy worlds, of colours… or you can’t let it out at all.”

You give him a smile, as if you had just told him something random about the weather, instead of something that echoes within his soul more than you can ever imagine…

“I really love this stupid freckle under your eye,” you blurt out, your voice almost a whisper.

“Really?” he asks with a teasing smile.

“Hmm… it’s lovely. You’re lovely…”

You heave a sigh.

“My head is spinning a bit.”

“You should go to bed.”

“In a minute…”

He looks at you as your eyes close again, as you settle more comfortably in his arms.

You’re beautiful. You always are but… the thought settles in his mind in a painful way now.

It kills him, really. It kills him the way he still wants you…

“Y/N?”

“Hmmm?”

“Are you okay? Do you want me to help you go to bed?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“You’re sure, darling?”

He feels that you’re tensing against him, but you don’t move away. He bites his tongue.

What an idiot… everything was going so well… he had to open his big mouth…

“You can’t call me that anymore,” you tell him, but your voice is not angry, nor annoyed. You’re just presenting a fact.

“I know, sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

“I’m not your darling anymore.”

He hates it, the way your words hurt him. They’re so painful… even if they’re true. Maybe because they are true, actually…

“I know. I’m sorry, don’t be mad…”

“I’m not mad. But… you can’t call me that anymore. You should call your girlfriend that, Monica.”

“We broke up, remember?”

“I know. Did you call her that too?”

But he shakes his head. He’s a little drunk, it’s the only reason why these words are passing the barrier of his lips. He’s blushing profusely, but you can’t see it, your eyes are still closed.

It’s quiet in the apartment, it’s late already. No one outside, no car, nothing. It’s silent, until Ben speaks again.

“No, I didn’t call her that.”

“Why? How did you call her?”

“I don’t know… I didn’t feel like calling her that, that’s all.”

“But it’s your favourite pet name.”

“I know. That’s why it’s still yours.”

You open your eyes, but don’t look at him. You’re a little too scared for that.

“If things were different… if we didn’t live so far apart… do you think we could…”

“I don’t know, Ben,” you interrupt him.

It’s too painful to think about this…

He nods.

“Sometimes… sometimes I really wish things were different between us,” he admits in a shaky whisper. “I wish… stars would finally align for us or something.”

“Me too.”

A sad smile appears on his lips, and he closes his eyes, head thrown back to withhold his tears.

“But?”

“But… our lives are too different. And we can’t let ourselves act the way we did in London, not anymore. We’re friends now, we can’t be anything more than that.”

“Why must our lives never match?” he asks in a whisper. “Why do we keep on drifting apart?”

You look up at him, and he finally meets your eyes once more.

“It’s like your music, Ben. We’re prioritizing stuff. We’re not making enough room for us. It wouldn’t work, not right now…”

“I would make room for you.”

You know he means it, but you shake your head.

“It wouldn’t work. I can’t come to live here.”

“Who said anything about that?”

“You’re not going to move back to London, are you?”

“Things have changed in fourteen years. We have zoom now, and facetime, and we don’t have to pay a fortune for a phone call in a foreign country anymore…”

“Ben… stop it.”

He grows silent again, and you hate how sad he looks.

“There’s no use. We’ve moved on. That’s why we didn’t talk to each other for ten years, so we could get over each other. You have your life, and I have mine, and we’re friends, and that’s enough.”

He nods, forcing a smile to his lips. He is good at hiding how his heart is breaking.

Because you’ve moved on, that’s what you’re saying. You’ve fallen out of love... And he hasn’t.

Now more than ever, it strikes him how much he still loves you. How, if he truly faces his feelings, he has never stopped loving you. Even after your breakup. Even during these ten years you spent as strangers. Even when he loved other women. You were still there, somewhere, in his heart.

But you’ve moved on, and he hasn’t. And it’s breaking his heart, but it’s okay. He’ll manage. He’s been managing for fourteen years.

You look at the clock, rubbing your eyes to chase away your fatigue. You smile.

“11:11! We should make a wish!”

“A wish?”

“Yeah! You’ve never done that? If you look at the clock randomly, and it’s 11:11, you must make a wish.”

He chuckles.

“That’s funny.”

“Alright, close your eyes, make a wish!”

He looks at you as you close your eyes, and he chuckles again before doing the same.

And his wish is for you…

He can hardly wait as he looks for you in the crowd. The airport is busy, full of tourists, families reuniting, friends parting. He’s got a black cap on to avoid being recognized in such a dense crowd. He goes on his tiptoes to try and spot you as travellers flood the hall, pulling their suitcases behind them or pushing their trolley. His heart is beating so fast, he’s excited to see you…

Since the pandemic, you’ve grown much closer as friends. Instead of calling each other every month, you started calling each other once a week, and then every day. Maybe it was because you had lived together for several weeks, it was strange to be completely apart for too long after that.

He isn’t complaining though. He loves it, actually, being close to you again.

He knows it’s not romantic, by any mean. He hasn’t forgotten your words from that night. You’ve moved on. You don’t feel like this anymore, but he does. He hates to admit it, but he does have feelings for you that go well beyond friendship. It’s alright though, he’s not complaining. You’re here, it’s all that matters.

He spots you easily, he always does. No matter if you’re in an empty room or in a crowd, he always finds you easily, as if his eyes are trained to recognize your silhouette. It’s almost a sixth sense.

He grins as you spot him too and wave at him. You look gorgeous, as always.

You rush through the crowd and into his arms, making him laugh as he holds you tightly against him.

“It’s so good to see you!” you squeal in excitement.

“I’m happy to see you too. I’ve missed you.”

You finally walk out of his embrace, locking your elbow with his as you head towards the exit, you pulling your suitcase and Ben carrying your heavy bag. You haven’t walked out of the airport that you’re already chatting merrily, catching up on lost time.

It’s easy. To be around you, to look at you laughing. It’s easy to talk to you, to make you giggle in an adorable way, to get lost in your eyes.

He recognizes the feelings easily, he felt the same sixteen years ago…

“So, what have you planned for my vacations, mister?” you ask, a bright grin glued on your face as you climb in his car and fasten your seatbelt.

“Well, first we’re going to my place to drop all your stuff, as you’ve decided to bring your entire apartment with you,” he playfully answers, teasing you and making you roll your eyes and scoff. “And then… I thought that we could either relax at my place, watch a movie or just talk for a while; or we can go to the beach.”

“I have to admit that after that long flight, relaxing on your very comfortable couch sounds wonderful.”

“A relaxed afternoon it is, then. But tell me everything! You came here for work, what is it all about?”

You smile, but don’t dare answer yet. You don’t want to tell him until you’re certain about this, that it’s all going to work out. You still have an interview scheduled next week. It will define whether or not you get a job here, in LA.

It would mean moving to the US, in this busy town…

…next to him.

But you’re not sure yet. First, you need to nail this interview of yours. Then, you need to talk about it with him. Because you don’t think he feels like that anymore. You do though. It has never really stopped. Despite your boyfriends, despite the distance, despite the years spent completely apart not even on speaking terms… you still feel this way. The same way you felt sixteen years ago.

As you watch him drive through the large roads of LA, with his dark sunglasses, and the happy crinkles at the corners of his eyes showing more than usual because of the way he’s smiling… you wish the two of you could give it a try.

You set your gaze on the cars before you again while Ben starts asking you questions about your flight, your family, your job. You’ll see how all this turns out. For now, you’re here, and that’s enough.

Ben’s been on the phone for a while, and you’re getting worried. You hope it’s nothing too serious, and nothing that will require from him to fly away.

He’ll be busy tonight shooting a music video for his first EP. You’re so proud of him for finally releasing his own songs into the world, and you can’t wait for the album to be released. You wonder if this phone call is linked to this project of his.

You’re a little frustrated with it though, because so far, Ben has always refused to let you listen to any of the songs he’s written for the album. You don’t understand why. You’ve never been anything but supportive of this project, so why hide? Does he not trust you enough?

You give him a smile as you see him entering again the coffee shop where you’ve been drinking some tea and eating a delicious cheesecake. But your smile disappears when you read worry, almost panic even, written all over his face.

“What’s wrong?” you ask him as he sits down at your table once more.

He heaves a frustrated sigh.

“I was supposed to film a video tonight, you remember?”

“Of course, for your song.”

“Well, my cameraman… and the whole team, actually… are stuck somewhere in Ohio, and they won’t have time to come here before their next job on a movie. I don’t know how I’m going to film this…”

He runs a hand through his hair, and you reach across the table to hold his fingers in yours in a supportive gesture.

“Don’t you know anyone who could replace them here, in LA?” you ask him, trying to sound optimistic.

“No… No one who’s available, at least. Or not before a couple of months… I mean, if there isn’t any other solution, then I’ll have to wait. But I wanted to get all this filming done before I have to start working on another movie.”

He heaves another sigh, his gaze drifting away to settle on the busy street that hurries forward on the other side of the window.

“This was the acoustic version of the song, right? Like… not the big production one…” you ask him, thinking hard.

“Yeah, it’s just… we just need to get the piano up a hill, and then I perform the song on the piano and the video should be done in only one shot.”

“Do you know already what you want it to look like and where you want to do it?”

“Yes, of course, everything is planned.”

“Then… why can’t we do it?”

He frowns at you.

“What?”

“You and me! I’m not a professional, but didn’t you say that you wanted something personal for these acoustic videos? I can film you while you’re singing.”

“No. I mean… that’s very kind Y/N, but… that’s not a good idea.”

“Why not? I’m not stupid, if you show me how to use your camera, I can do it.”

“I’m not doubting your skills nor your intelligence. I just… look, it’s silly, I’ll just wait until I have another opportunity, that’s all.”

But he can see that you’re annoyed now. He doesn’t really get why though. He’s the one with a problem, not you.

“Never mind all that. What were we talking about again?”

But you lean forward, your forearms resting on the table, and by the look on your face, Ben already knows he’s not going to like the question you’re about to ask.

“Ben… can I ask you something? And I would really appreciate it if you gave me an earnest answer.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Do you think us shooting this video together is a bad idea because you want a professional to do it, or because you don’t want me to listen to your songs?”

You see him clenching his jaw as he looks down at his cup of tea, and you don’t need to hear his answer.

“Why do you not want me to listen to your songs? I’m sure they’re amazing.”

But he shakes his head.

“I’m not ready for you to listen to them.”

“Why not? It’s just me…”

“I know, but… They’re… very personal and I… I don’t want you to listen to them for now. I’m not ready.”

You nod your head, clearly disappointed, but he’s grateful that you don’t insist.

“I’m sorry, but I have a few phone calls to make. Do you mind if we leave?” he asks after a rather long silence; one that is not as comfortable as it usually feels whenever it settles between the two of you.

“No, of course not. Let’s go.”

He apologizes again for hurrying home, and you don’t have the heart to insist on paying your share when he wants to invite you. He feels bad enough already, you reckon.

The drive to his flat is quiet, you can practically hear Ben’s brain working at full speed as he looks for a solution. When you arrive, you leave him alone and settle in the guest room with a book. He’s got work to do, it’s alright. You hesitate for a moment to go outside for a walk on your own, but you reckon that he might feel terrible if no one can help him, and he might need you here. So, instead, you stay inside and wait.

It's already the middle of the afternoon when Ben knocks on your door, and you invite him in.

“So? Did you find anyone to help?”

He shakes his head and sits down on the edge of your bed. You put away your book and sit up, cross-legged, next to him. He seems so disappointed, it breaks your hurt.

You rest a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“So… what are you going to do?”

“Well… no one is available before at least three months, and I’ll be working again in three months, which means that everything will be way more complicated. I don’t know… I just want to get all this over with while I have time to do this properly, without thinking about a role.”

“Of course, I get that.”

“So… I reckon I don’t really have a choice.”

He turns to you, and his voice is surprisingly shy when he speaks again.

“Do you mind if we do this together, then?”

You offer him a bright smile.

“Of course not! I would be happy to help. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

He wants to tell you then, why he hasn’t let you listen to his album yet. He wants to tell you everything, what his songs are truly about but… he doesn’t have the strength to do it. Maybe… maybe you won’t even notice if you listen to the song. There aren’t that many details… maybe you won’t understand…

So, he says nothing, merely gives you a smile, and opens his arms to give you hug.

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re the best.”

You grin, rushing into his embrace; and as he closes his arms upon you, he holds you a little too tight.

You’re tired after carrying all this equipment all the way up this hill, but you regret nothing. The spot Ben has chosen for this video is breathtaking. You admire it while he finishes to set everything up behind you.

The sun has started to set, sinking behind the hill on the other side of the valley. LA stretches at your feet while the sky begins to be painted in gold. It’s quiet, surprisingly so. No cars, no voices, no shouts. Just the wind and the random interruption of a bird chirping.

“This place is amazing, Ben,” you grin, your eyes still lost on the beautiful view.

You hear him chuckling behind you.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favourite spots. It’s quiet up here. And the view isn’t too bad.”

Eventually, you shake yourself out of your reverie, and turn towards Ben again.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

He explains to you the shots he wants, where you should walk to get them. He shows you how to use his very expensive camera, and after a few tries, you know enough to shoot the short video. You help Ben setting up his computer and his microphone, using a pile of your own books so the microphone is positioned right before Ben’s lips. He tries a few times to record his voice, then the piano, and seems quickly satisfied.

He's nervous, you can tell.

“I reckon we can get several takes before it’s too dark to film. What do you think?” you ask him, trying to reassure him.

He nods, giving you a warm smile.

“Yeah… I’d say we have about forty minutes.”

“So, you can fuck up ten times at least before we give up for tonight. You’ll be just fine.”

He laughs at that, and he’s grateful for it. He knows you’re trying to help him calm down. You’re simply not aware that he’s not stressed about the sun setting too fast at all, or about messing up the song. He’s worried about the fact that you’re going to listen to him…

You get ready, and give him a thumbs up as well as a bright grin.

“Whenever you’re ready, superstar!”

He chuckles at your teasing, shakes his head a little. He takes a couple of deep breaths, plays a few notes to get ready. But then, he starts recording, and playing…

He doesn’t look at you as his fingers travel across the piano, as he starts to sing in a quiet, gentle tone. Voice deep and warm and reassuring, as always. He tries to ignore your presence, to forget that you’re standing there, a few feet away, that you’re listening to him sing this song about… about you…

But he can’t. How could he? How could he act as if the woman he wrote this song about is not standing right in front of him, listening to the deepest secrets of his heart?

But then again, maybe it’s for the better. Because now more than ever, after spending a whole week living with you, it hurts too much to be merely your friend. He doesn’t want to be your friend. He reckons that there wasn’t a minute in the nineteen years you’ve known each other when he wanted to be anything but your boyfriend.

But then again, life works almost haphazardly sometimes, and if he believed in signs, then perhaps he could have believed that you, being there to listen to his song now, was a sign. A sign that things have to change, and he hopes they will change for the better…

His voice is shakier than he wants it to be. He can hear, after the second line, that he’s going to struggle to go through the whole song without being too emotional. He’s not even certain he’ll be able to sing the complete song. But he doesn’t care. Now, that he has started to confess it all, he needs to let it all out.

Meanwhile, you start moving with the camera, and at first, you’re focused on your task, trying not to shake too much. But then… you’re also listening to the song. And if a smile appears on your features at the beginning, it quickly fades. Your movements slow down as Ben sings the first verse…

Because… because it sounds very strange… The story he tells, it’s strangely familiar.

Is it late?

Eleven minutes past eleven

It’s both always and never our time

Nothing to regret

The rest just might be heaven

You’re always but never really mine

You’re the one who told him about this silly wish to make at 11:11. And your paths keep on crossing but you’re never really together and…

But no, no… it’s just your head and your silly heart imagining things. No, it’s nothing like that. He must be talking about somebody else, or maybe he’s not even talking about anyone at all. Maybe he just made up a love song from nothing.

But then… why does he seem so upset as he keeps on singing, his voice trembling through the chorus, his eyes still closed.

You stopped my heart from fifty feet

It pumped and sang and skipped a beat

And when I sleep my soul you’ll keep

I wish for you to be happy

I wish for you to be free

I wish for you to be fearless

That’s wishes one, two and three

But then, if this is not about you then… why these echoes to your past? You recognize the words he spoke to you so long ago; it’s easy for you, they are engraved into your brain at this point. How could you ever forget them? He’s putting them elegantly, into verses, but these are the same words he told you that rainy afternoon in your dorm, and in London too…

You’ve stopped moving altogether, and you stare at him now, forgetting all about your duties with this stupid camera…

And I won’t wish to be yours

Or for you to be mine

But I’ll wish them all for you

Every time

He feels your stare upon him, and he knows that you’re standing still now, frozen. He can see you, even with his eyes down. He has lifted his eyelids, he looks at his hands, or at least he tries to, because he wants so badly to look at you… But he resists. If he does, he won’t be able to sing the end of the song, and he knows it.

Is it warm?

Clouds but the sun’s in the sky

Rises over mine but sets with you

When it’s dark I’ll try not to ask you why

Or what you’ll do

You stopped my heart from fifty feet

It pumped and sang and skipped a beat

And when I sleep my soul you’ll keep

I wish for you to be happy

I wish for you to be free

I wish for you to be fearless

That’s wishes one, two and three

And I won’t wish to be yours

Or for you to be mine

But I’ll wish them all for you

Every time

He can’t take it, the way you stare at him. At last, he looks up. And his hands freeze on the keyboard, right in between two notes, and his voice disappears from his tightening throat.

You’re staring so intensely at him…

You know. You’ve understood everything. It’s too late now…

… damn, he’s fucked up again.

But slowly, very slowly… you start shaking your head.

“Don’t stop,” you let out a shaky breath, he barely hears you at all. “Please, don’t stop. Keep going.”

“Y/N…”

“Please, finish the song. Please, Ben…”

He nods, struggling to swallow back the lump in his throat. He takes a deep breath, plays again the last notes of the chorus to get some momentum, and he resumes his singing, his voice a little hoarse as he tries not to cry.

If one day the stars align

You feel ready to be mine

I hope you’ll find the strength to come

With trumpet, pipes and drum

You stopped my heart from fifty feet

It pumped and sang and skipped a beat

And when I sleep my soul you’ll keep

He can’t look away anymore. He just can’t. He struggles a little to play when he’s so emotional, and staring at you, and busy being terrified of what your reaction will be once he has stopped singing… But it’s alright. His voice is rough with emotion, a little shaky, but you don’t seem to mind. You just stare at him, with more and more tears gathering at the corners of your eyes, but you don’t let any teardrop fall. Instead, you’re suspended to his words.

And his voice finishes to break with the next two verses…

And I won’t wish to be yours

Or for you to be mine

He gives you a smile, filled with tenderness and sadness and withheld pain. It takes him a couple of seconds to be able to let out any sound, but you’re patient, and you wait for him to finish his song.

But I’ll wish them all for you

Every time

Yes, I’ll wish them all for you

Every time

Oh, I’ll wish them all for you

Every time

Silence. After his piano and his voice filling up the air, it feels strange to hear nothing at all. Solely distant sounds of wind and birds.

And you don’t say a thing. Instead, you put the camera down right next to the piano, and you walk around the instrument to sit next to Ben. He doesn’t look at you anymore, he doesn’t move. He can barely breathe at all. He’s terrified that if he does so, you’ll run away and disappear for good.

So, he tries to remain motionless instead. Maybe then, even time could stop…

“Your song… it’s about us, isn’t it?” you ask him, your voice a little hoarse but surprisingly steady considering how your heart is pounding, how much your throat has tightened, how hard it is to withhold your tears… “It’s about me, right?”

He doesn’t have the strength to speak, so he nods instead. He looks almost guilty.

“I see… That’s why you didn’t want me to listen to it.”

It’s more of a statement than a question, but Ben nods anyway.

He clears his throat, tries to find his voice back.

“You… are you mad at me?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad?”

“Because… I wrote a song about you and… because… because it says pretty clearly how I feel about you. And I’m not sure you like the way I feel about you.”

Finally, he turns to you. His eyes are completely black, his face bathed in golden light. The small pendant that falls on his chest catches some sunlight as he moves and it flashes like gold in the summer sun.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“For what?”

“Everything, really. But especially because… Now, I don’t reckon we’ll be able to remain friends.”

“No… no, I guess you’re right. We can’t stay friends.”

He nods, and even if he quickly brushes it away, you see the tear that starts rolling down his cheek. He sniffs, looking away again.

“Right…”

“I’m moving to LA.”

He stares at you again, his lips parting in shock. You just… you’ve just blurted that out, out of the blue and… What…?

“What?”

“I… I had an interview yesterday for a job in a small newspaper in California. For a very small town, about half an hour away from LA. I got the job. I got the answer this morning and… I knew you were stressed because of this music video, so I wanted to wait this weekend to tell you. But I… I’m moving to LA. I start next month.”

“But… what about London? What about your job there, and your family, and your friends, you… you were happy there… I thought it was what you wanted.”

“It was. For a long time, it really was. But then again… do you remember the conversation we had that night, when I was drunk? I mean… of course you do, you talk about it in your song… Anyway, that night, I told you we had to prioritize things that are the most important to us. And I’m tired of not prioritizing you. So…”

“This is more than prioritizing though…”

“No, it isn’t. When we were younger, I chose my career instead of you. And I can’t say that I regret it because I had no idea about who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. And I needed to go to Dublin, and to move to London again… I needed that. But I’m not twenty-three anymore. And I’ve figured things out. And you’re not twenty-four anymore with too many dreams and a career to build, you already have one now. So… maybe… maybe we could force our lives not to drift apart this time. What do you say?”

But instead of answering, he merely crashes his lips to yours, hands flying up to hold your face, and you melt against him as he kisses you with all the love and passion he’s been holding back for years. You hold him tight when you finally detach your lips from his.

“I love you,” he breathes against your ear. “I’ve always loved you. Even when we were apart, even during this decade when I had no news… I never got over you. It was always you. Ever since that afternoon at the cinema watching my favourite rom-com when you let me kiss you in the dark… it has always been you.”

You can’t stop your tears anymore, but it’s okay. They’re happy ones.

“I love you too,” you whisper against the skin of his neck. “I’ve never stopped loving you either.”

“I’ll make it work. I promise, I’ll make it work.”

“Well, don’t expect me to do all the work!” you joke despite your voice being wet with tears. “I expect daily videocalls whenever you’re away. And an awful lot of cuddles when you come back. And you’ll pay for my tickets so I can come see you, because journalist really doesn’t pay that well when you work for small, unknown newspapers…”

He laughs, tightening his hold on you, if it is even possible to do so.

“Deal. That’s a deal.”

“I don’t want to hide this…”

“You’ll hate it if you’re pulled in the public eye with me.”

“I don’t care. I didn’t wait sixteen bloody years to be your secret lover. Fuck off!”

You both laugh, and he nods his head.

“Alright, whatever you want. As long as you can be mine, we’ll do whatever you want.”

“I thought you wouldn’t wish to be mine or for me to be yours…” you tease, making him chuckle.

“Well… that was before I knew you were still madly in love with me.”

“Madly? Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“You’re moving to the other side of the world to be with me, I reckon that’s something only someone madly in love would do.”

“You might have a point.”

“I won’t let you go this time. I promise. I won’t lose you again, darling.”

You pull away just enough to look at him.

“Good. Cause I don’t want to leave ever again, love.”

You exchange a grin, before exchanging kisses…

And when you finally stand up and pack your things, the sun is long gone, and it’s almost fully night already. You’ll have to come back tomorrow to film this music video of his, but you don’t care.

You’ve got the rest of your lives left, after all…

#ben barnes #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes x you #ben barnes x y/n #ben barnes fanfiction #ben barnes series #ben barnes fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #series

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zoeykallus · 8 months

Text

Hunter - Dirty Lillte Thief 19 - Old Wounds And Broken Hearts

Hunter x FemReader Multi Chapter FF

AC: Repost/New post because of an Update I had to make. There was a whole chunk missing because I forgot to copy it out of my docs after translating my stuff and tumblr didn't let me overwork/correct my own post, yet again.

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Warnings: Sexual Themes Mentioned (18+)/Angst/Fluff/Jealous Hunter

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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

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>Master List<

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WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE:

Dirty Little Thief

Part 2 -Fairplay

Part 3- What We Do Not Admit

Part 4 - Provocative

Part 5 - Fighting And Loving

Part 6 - Scorching Hot

Part 7 - Keep It Together

Part 8 - Give Me More

Part 9 - Don’t You Dare

Part 10 - Hurt

Part 11 - Say You Won’t Miss Me

Part 12 - Still A Dirty Little Thief

Part 13 – In The Shadows

Part 14 - Burning Bridges

Part 15 – Under A Red Sun

Part 16 – See You Again

Part 17 - Reunion

Part 18 - I Missed You

This sexual encounter between you and Hunter had been so much more intense than ever before, even if it was a bit rushed. But even more uncomfortable you felt about the fact, that this togetherness could not end properly, your orgasm had just barely ended, as you've been disturbed.

At first, you feel a little uncomfortable looking at Echo, you are sure that when he was looking for Hunter, just before he said something to you, he must have heard something, maybe even seen something.

You know Echo is not a peeping Tom, he is of the decent sort, but to approach Hunter about this important matter, he must have been nearby, waiting.

Your eyes meet briefly, and an annoying little voice in the back of your head tells you that Echo knows Hunter's sperm is dripping into your panties.

You hope you get time to wash up and put on some fresh clothes as soon as possible.

Hunter turns to you and says, to your relief, "Hey, um, why don't you go freshen up. It's just a bunch of locals, mostly farmers on their way here, nothing exciting."

You try not to let on how damn relieved you are and slip into the refresher. To your surprise, Hunter has clean clothes ready. He hasn't disposed of your stuff, even after two years; he's kept everything.

You smile in satisfaction as you step into the shower.

As you come out of the refresher, you hear Hunter talking to someone. You pause and listen. "Since the Empire rose, you've practically been on your own, on the run?" You know that voice, at first you can't immediately place it, but you know it, clearly. You hear Hunter grumble, then he answers, "More or less, yes. Are you hiding from the Empire here, too?" "Pretty much, yeah. This planet doesn't offer much except farmland, there's no mineral resources, nothing to mine or exploit, that's why the Empire isn't interested in us so far. It's a very simple life, a quiet one, but also a free and peaceful one" "Doesn't sound so bad," Wrecker notes. You cautiously approach the voices, carefully pushing past Wrecker and finally standing next to Hunter. When you see the face to the voice, you realize why it sounded familiar. At first Hunter's counterpart looks flabbergasted, then he smiles broadly and when he says your name, everyone perks up, and you feel Hunter tense a little beside you. "Damn, I didn't think you'd ever leave this dead, dry planet alive," the man standing in front of you says to you.

He has a slight shadow of a beard, intense blue eyes, amber hair, he is well-built, large strong hands, the hands of a laborer, rough and calloused. He is about Hunter's height, maybe an inch or two taller, but hardly remarkably taller. His face was still as perfect as ever, except for the shadow of his beard and a smudge of dirt on his right cheek. His cheekbones high but not too high, broad strong chin, eyes the perfect angle and distance apart. Strong but straight even nose, thick full hair. Not to forget the perfectly matching voice, deep, very slightly gravelly but gentle. "Kenjam Dennolli," you say with a sigh. "You know each other?" asks Hunter cautiously. Dennolli laughs and says, "You could say that." "He's my ex-boyfriend," you say, rolling your eyes.

Hunter next to you tenses. "Meaning, we know each other very well. Theoretically, we never broke up," Dennolli says, laughing.

You look at the man with the goggles.

"Of all the damn planets we could have ended up on, it had to be this one," you grumble in Tech's direction. Tech looks up indignantly from his holopad and says, "This is a moon. You act like this is my fault." Dennolli laughs again, "Still temperamental and argumentative I see." You glare at him angrily and say, "Breaking up wasn't necessary, Ken, because you just ran off the planet and I had no way of following you."

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Echo wave the others along, leaving you and Hunter alone with Ken. Echo was always reliable when it came to getting some privacy, most of the time. Ken looks at you, not quite as amused as before, as he says, "I didn't go willingly, you know the Hutts were after me. I had to take the first chance I got, and taking you with me would have put you on Jabba's hit list as well." "Excuses," you growl softly, automatically standing closer to Hunter, as if some part of you is subconsciously seeking mental, emotional protection from him. Hunter senses that you're seeking his closeness, more or less half-hiding behind him, your behavior suggesting that you're still hurt and don't really want to work through this situation right now. He is not sure if he is relieved or worried. Even a blind man can see that Kenjam Dennolli is handsome and charismatic, Hunter thinks silently, annoyed.

Ken sighs and says quietly to you, "You know that's not true, that's not an excuse. And I've missed you a lot" "That was almost five years ago, Ken, I've been over it for a long time".

Ken says softly, "I'm happy for you, really, it's good you were able to move forward, I couldn't."

Hunter at your side becomes even more tense, you even see a vein on his neck. Was he jealous? You've never seen Hunter jealous before, not that you know of. Something is bubbling under his surface, you feel it clearly in the Force, something intense, it feels almost sharp, as if you could cut yourself on it if you got too close to him at the moment. And yet, you draw closer.

"Like I said," you say coolly, leaning meaningfully against Hunter's shoulder, "I've been over this a long time."

Ken blinks, then smiles humorlessly and says, "I understand. You two are therefore-"

"Indeed," Hunter grumbles.

Ken, clearly sensing Hunter's tension, laughs softly and nods.

"Okay, that's nice for you guys. Getting together for old times' sake tonight is probably a no-go then."

Hunter says coolly, "Certainly," and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

There is a small, awkward pause in which no one says anything, the two men look at each other, scrutinize and assess. You sense melancholy and an old longing, in Ken, like sweet, heavy wine. Hunter exudes sharpness and hardness, also a small bitter undertone of fear.

Again, your ex nods and finally says, "Okay, I think I overstayed my welcome for today. I'll better head back to work anyway. It was good to see you again."

You don't really know what to say to that, feeling a little uncomfortable in your own skin, so you keep quiet and watch Ken walk away. Finally, Hunter stirs beside you.

"Your ex, huh? Good-looking fellow," he growls.

You raise your eyebrows questioningly and look at him.

"Yeah, so? Did you expect me to be hanging out with ugly men before I started dating you?"

Hunter rolls his eyes, sighs softly, but finally looks at you, with a calm, gentle expression.

"No, it just feels weird"

"What do you mean?"

Hunter shrugs cautiously and explains, "We just got back together after being apart for a long time. It's all still fresh and suddenly this striking, handsome guy shows up. That's when a man in my situation feels a little pressured."

"Why?" you ask curiously.

Hunter steps closer, grabs your hands, plays with your fingers and says, "Imagine it the other way around. A gorgeous woman suddenly shows up here, and you're confronted with the fact that she's my ex and still interested in me."

You frown unwillingly. You don't like the idea at all.

"Do you have an ex like that?" you ask cautiously.

Hunter laughs and says, "No, but that's not the point. Just imagine it for a minute, and you'll understand how it feels to me right now."

You sigh softly, of course you can understand, but Hunter has no reason to worry, certainly not about Kenjam Dennolli.

You release your hands from his and wrap your arms around his shoulders, gently kissing along his jaw to his ear and finally whisper, "You can be absolutely sure that my heart, body and soul are yours alone, Hunter."

You feel Hunter shiver softly and shortly thereafter close his arms tightly around you.

@moonstrider9904

@photogirl894

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@chxpsi

@nunanuggets

@the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond

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@greaser-wolf

@justanothersadperson93

@hated-by-me

@malicemercy

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riacte · 8 months

Text

hermitgals precure update: geminitay backstory edition

it was so hard figuring out a mid season precure backstory, so in the end i defaulted to the milky rose route LMAO.

gem used to be a fairy living in the hermit kingdom, she stayed there after the fall. the citizens of the hermit kingdom grow nervous without their king and the genesis block, but since they have the power of cooperation and hope, they manage to keep things running. they still want to contact their lost king. so they decide to choose one among themselves to be a messenger and find ren in the human world. gem volunteers and everyone chooses her. they bless her with powers and she gains a human form.

meanwhile, the four cures + gang are struggling. since the genesis block occasionally grants them wishes by fixing (creating) certain items, such as repairing cleo's transformation tool and bringing pearl back to life, all of them decide to wish for a new cure. they summon their greatest strengths and hand them to the genesis block in the hopes the block can combine their strengths and form an ultra-powerful cure. the genesis block glows, everyone's hopeful, but then nothing happens. they sigh and dismiss it.

some time passes. human gem struggles to get used to the human world. her wits and willpower keep her going. knowing she has an entire kingdom depending on her, she hunts for ren and co.

the cures struggles even more and gets their asses beat. gem witnesses the fight. she finally sees king ren and iskall, and she also sees the precures fighting tooth and nail to protect the genesis block. she's very touched by outsiders fighting so hard for her kingdom. she's overcome with a strong will to fight alongside them, to fight to protect her kingdom, to fight as not to let down everyone back home because she's their sole messenger.

the genesis block hears her wish and grants her transformation. geminiSLAY. gem is canonically extra powerful because she's blessed with everyone from her hermit kingdom— she's carrying everyone's combined wishes. she completely wrecks the bad guys. everyone's staring at her in awe, and gem is suddenly embarrassed and drained. she doesn't know how to approach them, so she runs away. but at least she knows where the cures + fairies are.

meanwhile, the gang believes the genesis block has combined their strengths to form the new mysterious cure. they're eager to meet her. gem transfers into the cures' school and everyone's like :) ooh transfer student! that's nice— wait. ren and iskall also sense there's something weirdly familiar with this new girl (because she's a fairy like them).

they confront gem and she tells them everything. gem also learns the strength-combining thing they tried with the genesis block, and how everyone has high hopes for her because she's supposedly the perfect cure with no weaknesses. this stresses her out, but she doesn't let it show and she's just happy to find king ren.

gem struggles in the next fight, which comes as a surprise. gem admits she's just an ordinary girl who wants the best for her kingdom. her perceived strength doesn't belong to her, she just borrowed it from her people. she says she's sorry for disappointing the gang because she's not the perfect cure that came from the genesis block. she has her faults and weaknesses.

while the genesis block didn't exactly create gem, it gave her the power to unleash her strength and transform. she had enough willpower and bravery, she only needed a little push. so in the end, while gem is technically a chosen one, she's also just a brave girl venturing out into the wild unknown with so much on her shoulders. it's important to note that the genesis block didn't grant the four cures + fairies' wish for a perfect cure, it granted gem's wish specifically.

ren, iskall, and gem eventually establish a connection between themselves and the hermit kingdom, and they can exchange updates. the gang teaches gem about the ways of the human world <3 and that's the legend of the great gem. (she's also better at retaining her human form compared to ren, she rarely changes back to her fairy form)

#precure au #hermitgals #the au that keeps going #hermitcures... or sth #ria.txt #geminitay #i wanted to make gem op but also not... the solution to everyone's problem #and her strength is her great responsibility (and burden)#i need to sleep before i somehow include martyn in this au. he's not even a hermit. i need to bonk him with a precure transformation rod #long post

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storiesbyrhi · 2 years

Text

Angel of the First Degree - Chapter 11: Afterglow

Eddie Munson x Chubby!Reader 4752 words Series Masterlist

Warnings: Anxiety; fatphobia including internalised; drug use; bullying; body issues; discussion of body function and fluids; period shame/stigma; disclosure of sexual assault (chapter 2); disordered eating and thoughts of food; shitty/abusive/critical parents; porn magazines; smut; reference to suicide (specifically Virginia Woolf’s); no beta; grief/mourning; warnings updated each chapter

Synopsis: When Eddie Munson finds you in the midst of a panic attack, it is the beginning of something. A fic featuring body and sex positivity, Eddie in a dress, soft small moments, scary big truths, and all the usual special feelings you’d expect from one of my stories.

Chapter Summary: Eddie in a dress again, end of year exams, and Eddie turns 20.

Author’s Note: Surprise, we’ve not checked out of Hawkins’ fanciest hotel yet!

The first thing you saw was pink sparkles, then the room came into focus. Eddie had put your dress on, dragged one of the oversized lounge chairs to the balcony, and lit a cigarette. He looked gorgeous against the backdrop of pre-dawn Hawkins, like the rockstar he was destined to be.

“Hi there,” he greeted when he glanced over at you and saw your wide eyes set on him.

“Hi,” you replied, hiding your face behind a pillow.

“Oh, now you’re shy?”

“No… More like, embarrassed.”

Eddie’s head cocked to the side in confusion.

“I fell asleep… That’s like, not a normal time to fall asleep, is it?”

“I mean… I think we both know I think normal is overrated,” he said, brushing down the pink dress and smiling. “Besides… It was really cute,”

“Stop,”

“Seriously. All sleepy and happy and… fucked out. Think you were gone before I could, you know, pull out,”

“Eddie,”

“Don’t be embarrassed, babe. So cute,” he teased.

Okay, you’d take the bait. You gave yourself a second, then, “Sounds like you were super into it… What’s it called when someone gets off over their sleeping girlfriend?”

Eddie cackled. “I’ll have you know,” he said, pointing at you, smoke between his fingers. “As soon as you passed out, I was out of there.”

You giggled, happy to get a rise from him.

“Somnophilia,”

“What?” you asked.

“When you want to… you know… with someone that’s asleep. It is actually a thing,”

“There’s a word for everything,”

“Oh, no, baby, there isn’t.” Eddie was using his dramatic voice, so you weren’t surprised when he flicked his cigarette over the balcony rail and walked to the bed, throwing himself next to you. “There is no word that describes how I feel about you,”

“Oh my god,” you snorted, pushing him away.

“Guess ‘I love you’ will have to do,”

“You’re ridiculous,”

“Maybe if I learn to say it in every language on earth… Nin le fíriel o mór.” The words rolled off his tongue and you kinda loved it.

“What was that?” you asked.

“Elvish… Ummm… Te amo! Ich liebe dich!”

“Spanish and… German?”

“She’s beautiful and smart,” he praised, closing the space between you with a kiss.

It was late, 3:00 am having just gone by. You felt a little hungry, a little tired, but absolutely wired. Hawkins seemed louder than usual, and when you pulled your fluffy hotel bathrobe on and shuffled to the balcony, you could see a few parties from your high vantage point.

“Surprised they haven’t been shut down yet,” you thought out loud.

When you turned back to the bed, Eddie was laying on his side watching you. “Everyone still raging out there?”

“Looks like it. That one is Hayley’s house,”

“What about you? Is the night young? Or… we could try that spa bath… or go back to sleep?”

He was sweet like that, listing off options and ready to give you whatever you wanted. It made you want to kneel before him and give the same in return. It made you want to give him more.

“Actually, can you come back here? Sit on your… throne… for me?”

Consider Eddie curious. He bounced across the room and plonked himself down, looking up at you. You stood between his legs and asked, “Is there a word for liking a boy in a dress?”

He laughed. “That… I do not know. Probably,”

“Maybe we can find a book to tell us at the store,”

“Right. The store…”

You smiled too sweetly, then got on your knees. Eddie’s pupils blew out again, but you couldn’t enjoy the darkness of his eyes for long; as soon as your hands were under the dress, his head rolled back and eyes closed. You were good at giving head, having practiced a whole lot since Halloween. There were specific sounds Eddie made, and you wouldn’t stop until he was singing them all.

After, you sat cradled in Eddie’s arms in the spa, getting sleepy. “I love you,” he whispered, kissing your neck and running a soapy sponge all across your body.

“Love you too,” you mumbled.

“Let’s go to bed, baby.”

The hotel bed was clean and illegally comfortable. You slept naked for the first time in your life, and it made having Eddie’s body spooned against yours even better. Sleep came quickly, and it was dreamless and restful. Nothing existed save for the love in your bones and the tickle of Eddie’s hair.

…

There wasn’t much time to bask in the afterglow of the dance or the dreamy ultra-romantic way you lost your quote-unquote virginity. Finals were upon the Seniors of Hawkins High, and it didn’t matter how many times someone told you ‘they’re not the end of the world,’ you felt like they were, in fact, the end of the fucking world.

Each of your subjects had an exam, whereas Eddie escaped a full roster. He had three, and considered himself as prepared as he was going to be well before you gave up on flashcards, midnight chapters, and test quizzes.

Somehow, you navigated the weeks without really discussing college or life beyond high school. It was all cups of tea and valium and over-sharpened pencils. Eddie looked after you the best he could, and to your absolute credit – you let him. You’d learned the incredibly difficult ability to accept help. Your skill was only in its infancy, it was only Eddie (and sometimes Wayne) that could help you. Not Esther or any of the guys. Not teachers or kind strangers. Just Eddie. Baby steps.

When you walked from your final exam and into Eddie’s arms, everything felt surreal. You’d all made a pact not to celebrate until all the exams were done, so everything was in limbo until the last Friday on the timetable, when Jeff walked out of his Advanced Calc exam, throwing his pen over his shoulder.

Everyone was waiting for him in the parking lot, hanging around the open doors of Eddie’s van. Upon Jeff’s approach, you, Eddie, Esther, Gareth, and Gene cheered, making jokes at Junior Gareth’s expense and high-fiving.

It coincided with Eddie’s twentieth birthday – November 21, a Scorpio, the misunderstood babies of the zodiac. Passionate, intuitive, soulful, and equal capabilities in destruction and transformation.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Eddie called, to an answer of whoops and applause.

The Hideout let them play a special show in honor of 3/4ths of the band graduating. You sat with Esther at a front row table and played presidents of the fan club, sipping Dr Pepper and singing along.

“Alright, happy birthday, man,” Gareth announced when the set was done and the gang had co-opted a corner booth. He slid an envelope over the table to Eddie.

“Aw, you shouldn’t have,” Eddie quipped as he pulled out the card.

It meant for a second birthday, a zero written next to the two in black Sharpie, and the shamrock on the Good Luck Care Bear’s tummy had its four leaves pointed to look like that of the cannabis plant. All the boys laughed. You and Esther looked at each other. The band had signed the card and had taken the time to get Esther and the Hellfire freshmen to do the same. Dustin had even written his own little message.

“We talked for ages about what we’d get you but the bar was too fucking high since, you know,” Jeff started.

“He’s weirdly good at gift giving?” you asked.

All the guys nodded.

“So, we figured we’d just pool the resources,” he finished.

Eddie realised there was more in the envelope, looked in, and saw the small stack of cash. A bunch of tens and twenties added up to about $150.

“Guys,”

“Don’t give us any of that humble bullshit. Take it, man. Use it to fix the van properly. Buy some vinyl. Whatever. Just… take it,” Jeff urged.

“Yeah, we love you, man,” Gene added.

Gareth looked like he was going to cry.

“Well, shit,” Eddie said. “Uh… Thank you. Don’t know what I’d do without you fuckers.”

The bar staff at The Hideout slipped the table a couple of beers, but it wasn’t really fit for King Eddie. The party moved to Gareth’s garage, home of Corroded Coffin, and caroused until about 1:00 am, when Gareth’s mum appeared with a raised eyebrow but a birthday hug for Eddie.

He promised her he was okay to drive, taking you and him home. Once the heater was cranked to the highest setting and the music was on, you were lulled into a light sleep while Eddie autopiloted to Forest Hills.

Wayne was at work, but you still headed straight to the bed, stripping off and getting tangled up in bed.

“Still good to do our birthday tomorrow?” you asked.

Eddie nodded. “Yeah. Don’t need you to make a fuss though.”

You hummed a non-committal sound.

…

Eddie’s arms reached out for you, sliding around on the bed sheet like a pair of unhinged snakes. He huffed to himself when he couldn’t pull you closer.

There was noise out in the kitchen. Eddie could hear your happy and Wayne’s low voice. The tell-tale smell of pancakes made its way to him, dragging him out of bed and into some sweatpants. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes when he appeared next to you.

“Morning family,” Eddie greeted.

“Eds,” Wayne replied.

Eddie came to spoon himself into your back, arms around your waist, and head on your shoulder.

“Birthday pancakes,” you pointed out.

“Smells good.”

You set up a breakfast picnic on the front deck, Wayne sat on the couch while you and Eddie took the inside couch’s cushions out there.

After pancakes, fruit, and coffee, Wayne said, “Guess it’s time for some presents, huh?” He ducked inside and returned quickly. It was wrapped in brown butcher paper, and the shape and size gave away the surprise. It was definitely a record.

Blonde on Blonde by Bob Dylan.

“I know it’s not your favourite, but it was released in 1966,” Wayne said.

“Same as me,” Eddie said.

“Same as you. It’s a piece of history, that. It’s an original press, hard to come by these days. One of the first double records in rock and roll history. The musicians that played on it. The sounds they came up with. Serious, Ed, you look after that one.”

Eddie handled the record carefully, felt a sense of legend melded into the vinyl. It was a gift for a man, not a boy. A musician, not a hobbyist. It was also likely to be very expensive. A few paychecks, at least.

“Thank you,” Eddie said, meeting the waiting gaze of Wayne. “I promise to keep it safe. Pristine,”

“I know you will, son.”

It was your turn. You handed Eddie an envelope addressed to him. It was postmarked from California and had no return address.

“You know it’s illegal to open other people’s mail,” he said as he easily pulled out the letter from the neat slit you’d made in the top.

“I had to check it was… what I thought it was,” you told him cryptically.

Eddie smiled and then began to read the letter. At first, he was confused; he didn’t know what he was reading. He picked up the envelope to check for clues but it gave him nothing. Hesitating, he decided to not flip to the second page and read who signed goodbye.

The letter began,

Dear Eddie,

One hell of a girl you got there.

Highlights included,

Heard about your band – Corroded Coffin. Sick name, man. People love alliteration. Music, rock and roll especially, is such a generational thing. Each generation must have their own music, I had my own in my generation, and it sounds like you’re gonna be it for yours.

And,

Your girl says you run a Dungeons and Dragons club. Don’t know what that is, but I used to be real into History. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t be a man of many interests. The best people are unpredictable.

And,

Growing up, I was surrounded by a large family who taught me the importance of hard work. That’s the key, man. Hard work. Put in the hours till your fingers bleed.

It concluded with,

Someday, I'll be too old to run around the stage - though that won't happen for a long while yet – hopefully I’ll see you up here before you take up the mantle.

Yours truly,

Ronnie James Dio

Eddie’s eyes were watery and his eyebrows pulled together in utter confusion. “What’s… Is this… Real?”

“Ah-huh,” you said. “There was a competition a couple months back. I saw it in one of your magazines. I cut the page out carefully so you wouldn’t notice and I entered it for you,”

“Competition?”

“Yeah. You just had to write a letter to your favourite musician, and the best ones would get a reply. And, yeah… I… won it for you.”

Eddie’s hands were shaking. The Ronnie James Dio… actual real heavy metal god, wrote him a letter. The paper he was touching had been touched by The Ronnie James Dio. The Ronnie James Dio knew his name. Knew his band name. Holy fucking shit. Eddie was stunned into silence and stillness.

You glanced up at Wayne, who was smiling ear to ear. He winked at you, a thank you for giving his nephew whatever euphoric religious experience he was going through on the trailer porch.

“What… What did you say to him?” Eddie asked, not looking away from the letter.

“Um… Well, I was gonna write about how you’re his number one fan and about the band and how much you practice guitar and all of that. But I figured everyone would do that. So I wrote about why you deserved a letter from him,” you answered, a small shrug to indicate you were finished.

Eddie looked up at you, still in a bit of a daze. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do I deserve… this?”

You looked at him and felt a warm kind of sadness. “Eddie… You took me in. And, you know… all the other stuff you’ve done for me. Then there’s Hellfire and-”

“I don’t know if running a D&D club makes me worthy of-”

“No, don’t. Don’t do that thing you do where you make it seem like everything you do is pointless and dumb. Hellfire is important. You put all this work into it, and you save little freshmen from loneliness and bullies. The band is important. You perform every show like it’s a world tour. It’s all important, Eddie. You’re important. And that’s why you won.”

Eddie didn’t know what to say. He looked at his uncle, and Wayne offered a small nod. “She’s onto something,” he said, accent thick and voice gruff despite all the love in it.

“Babe… I… This is the coolest thing that’s ever fucking happened to me… To anyone… in Hawkins…”

You smiled. You had pretty much predicted Eddie would be overwhelmed, maybe freak out some. It wasn’t like you needed a specific reaction; you knew the gift was god tier. The most important thing was he understand why his story won him the letter.

“Happy birthday,” you said.

Eddie looked at you, his expression melting into one of pure unadulterated love. After carefully folding the letter and putting it back in the envelope, he leaned across the pancakes and fruit to kiss you. Soft. Sweet.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

You nodded.

The three of you sat in comfortable silence for a while longer. You ate the rest of the sliced banana and tried to coax one of the trailer park cats to come over for a pat. Wayne made himself another cup of coffee before returning to his spot, smoking a cigarette. Eddie swapped between re-reading the letter and finding names he recognised in the list of Bob Dylan’s session musicians.

“So, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?” Wayne asked when you all moved inside, collecting dishes and piling them in the sink to worry about later.

“No set plans, as per Eddie’s request,” you told him. “Maybe we’ll go for a drive?”

“Alright. Well, stay out of trouble,”

“Where’re you heading to?” Eddie asked, watching his uncle pull on his jacket and pick up the keys from the ugly woven trinket dish Eddie made when he was seven.

“Told John I’d help fix up the old treehouse in his yard.”

Wayne clocked the looks on both your and Eddie’s faces. He sighed.

“Do you old men need help doing that?” Eddie asked.

“Funny. He just wants it perfect for-”

“The kids,” you and Eddie finished simultaneously. The saga of divorced John was never-ending.

“Be safe,” Eddie said.

“Will do.”

As soon as Wayne was gone, Eddie grabbed you and dragged you to the bedroom. Laughing the whole time, you pretended to try to get away, screeching and nipping at his hands around your waist.

A few insanely short hours later, Eddie asked, “Can we just stay in bed all day?” as he lay on his side, head perched on his hand. It had already been the best birthday morning he’d ever had. He didn’t need to venture into the outside world at all, it only risked ruin.

“Um… I can do… all morning,” you countered.

“Guess that will have to do… What’s in the afternoon?”

“I put in an order at the diner to pick up for lunch. Thought we could to that place behind the drive-in?”

Eddie looked at you for a second, then nodded.

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing,”

“You’re doing that look,”

“What look?”

You tried to pull the same expression as him, resulting in him crowing with laughter.

“I’ve never made that face in my life!” Eddie claimed.

“You do it all the time!”

Eddie snorted. “Whatever. You make this face all the time.” And he pulled the ugliest face he could think of.

“Nooooooo! You’re confuuuuuuused. That’s you! And this is you too.” Another stupid expression.

Squeals and giggles and pulling each other close.

Eddie ran his nose along yours, arms tight around your body. “You’re beautiful. I’m in love with your face.”

You kissed him. “I’m in love with yours. You’re stupidly pretty,”

“You’re intelligently pretty.”

More giggling. Kissing. Love.

…

After a harmless argument about not taking Eddie’s money, he waited in the van while you went in to pay and collect lunch.

“That allowance savings account must be running pretty dry,” he commented when you returned, putting the paper bag of food safely between your feet in the footwell. The milkshakes went into cup holders.

Honestly, he was right. You’d been smart throughout your teen years, saving most of your money from babysitting and the allowance your parents used to pay you. Sometimes you’d splurge on clothes or makeup, but most of the cash went straight into your account. The plan was to use it to get out of Hawkins. A nest egg for college.

Since you’d been kicked out of home, you had burned through most of it. It felt bad to let Eddie and Wayne pay your way – they were already doing too much. Down to your last couple hundred dollars, you’d get through Christmas but be broke by the new year.

“Stop worrying about me,” you said to Eddie.

“You got some sort of side business I don’t know about?”

“Maybe. Let’s go,”

“We working to a deadline?”

You shrugged it off and busied yourself with the radio. Eddie pulled out onto the road, heading in the direction of the drive-in. When your gaze continued to find its way to the dashboard clock, Eddie got suspicious.

He kept his mouth shut until he saw Jeff’s car parked at the spot people jumped the fence to head to the secret little place.

“Alright, what the fuck is this?”

Esther, Jeff, and Gareth got out of the car and waved. You were out of the van before Eddie could ask again.

“Hey!” you greeted, hugging Esther.

“Looks like you’ll catch some alright weather. Might rain tonight though,” Jeff said.

“It’s okay, we’ll probably go home before dark. Thanks guys,”

“All good. Have fun,” he replied, and they started to pile back in.

“Wait! What’s happening?” Eddie tried again.

His friends just smiled, shrugged, and he watched them pull a U-turn and disappear down the road. Eddie turned to you. The genuine confusion on his face was kind of cute, eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

“I’ll get the food,” you offered, rather than any sort of explanation.

The closer you and Eddie got to the spot, the more obvious what the Hellfire gang were doing there became.

One of the shitty small generators Corroded Coffin sometimes used to power amps was helping to illuminate the space via strings of fairy lights. It was actually a comical amount of them, haphazardly strung from trees and all through the car carcasses. A mix tape was in the boombox, and a picnic blanket was set up carefully. It was clear that part was Esther’s doing.

“Well, isn’t this romantic,” Eddie joked, trying to deflect from feeling the feelings.

You took a seat on the blanket and got the burgers and fries out. Eddie sat opposite you and handed you your milkshake. He smiled to himself, the memory of the last time he was there floating into his mind.

Eddie watched you go through your usual burger routine – open it, assess the pickle situation, be subsequently pleased or dismayed, add a few fries to the mix, and press the top back on. You glanced up at him as you took your first bite.

“What?” you asked, mouth full of food. If the old you could see you then, she’d not believe you to be the same person.

“Uh… yeah, no, nothing… I mean… Aren’t you meant to be like, surrrrrrrrprrrriiiiiseeee,”

“You said lowkey,”

“I did. I did. That’s true,” he agreed.

“I have one more surprise gift,”

“No,”

“It’s like, a joke gift. Kind of. I made it. Don’t worry,” you replied maybe too quickly.

Sensing the shift in your tone, Eddie said, “I’m not worried. Are you worried?”

“What? No. Don’t do that,”

“Do what?”

“Jedi brain tricks,” you told him with a pout he thought was too cute.

“Mind. Mind tricks,”

“Whatever. Here. Shut up.” You fished a small booklet from your bag and handed it to Eddie. You’d made it out of paper and staples, a menu of sorts.

“Holy fucking shit,”

“Do you remember?”

“Remember the sex menu joke? Yeah. Yes, I do. I thought about making this so many times but… I don’t know… Chickened out,” he marveled, open-mouthed, flipping through the pages. He was pretty close to blushing. “I’m gonna need you to read this out loud to me,”

“Absolutely not,”

“I always read to you!”

“Yeah, The Lord of the fucking Rings isn’t the same as… that…”

“As what?” Eddie asked, smirking. “As what, baby? As… page three… face sitting?”

“Stop!” you squealed, covering your face with your hands.

“Oh, this page recommends having a towel close by,”

“Eddie. I’ll take it back,”

“Nope. You can’t,” he yelped, jumping up before you could grab the booklet from his hands. “This is mine forever now,”

“You can’t tell anyone,”

“Ah-huh,”

“Eddie! Promise me!” you yelled, picking up a fry and throwing it at him.

He dodged it easily, sending you a dramatic shocked expression. “I promise. I don’t tell anyone about that kind of shit.” Eddie was sincere and really, you knew he’d never, but you needed to hear it anyway. He returned to the picnic blanket and began to eat. Halfway through his burger, Eddie turned to the boombox. Tupelo Honey. You watched him smile and get a little starry-eyed, his eating slowing down. He picked at his fries.

“Haven’t even dipped them in your milkshake. You okay?” you asked him.

Eddie grinned and nodded. “You made a mix tape too?”

You shrugged. “S’not an Eddie Munson birthday with the perfect soundtrack, right?”

He went quiet again, watched you finish your fries, and carefully put all the rubbish in a bag you brought for that purpose. Eddie used to flick his cigarette butts to the ground wherever he was, but when you started to pick them up, telling him that birds and squirrels deserved better, he stopped. Despite everything, you were so full of love and empathy for the world, and it was one of the many reasons he was obsessed with you.

Eddie stretched his legs out and laid back on the blanket. You crawled over and cuddled up to his side. He wrapped an arm around you, his fingers dancing up and down your arm. For a while, you stayed like that, listening to the music and the wind rustling the leaves of the tree. When the afternoon grew cooler, you collected the fluffy blanket hidden in one of the cars.

“That’s gotta be an Esther detail,” Eddie noted.

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Gareth’s. He loves flannel and velvet,” you theorised.

“Drummers are tactile people. You could be right.”

Down the hill, cars were lining up at the drive-in. The lights went on before the sun had even begun to set.

“This was good,” Eddie whispered as the screen announced Top Gun would play in T-minus thirty minutes. It was time to visit the candy bar for popcorn and Cherry Coke.

“You saw Top Gun?”

Eddie laughed. “No. God, no. Something real… off about Tom Cruise. I mean, this. Here. Perfect way to spend an afternoon.”

You snuggled into him and nodded. “But I do have to apologise for something,” you said, looking up at Eddie. He rolled his head to look back at you. “When we first started to hang out, before I knew you, I… um, made some assumptions about you,”

“Assumptions?”

“Yeah. Just like… those dumb one second thoughts that pop in your head then go, you know? But it kind of… haunts me… that I’d ever think them?”

“Angel, everyone thinks stupid dumb shit. Wayne says they don’t make you a bad person. Not unless you, you know, act on them or whatever,” Eddie told you, his free hand moving through the air like it was following the invisible noise waves.

“Still… can I just say sorry for them anyway?”

“You want to hurt my poor little feelings just to say sorry?”

You thought about it. He had a point. Really, you wanted to apologise to make yourself feel better. Exercise the demons, so to speak. Eddie could see you think it through.

“Come on. Put me out of my misery,” he said.

“What?”

“You know I’m the dead cat. I wanna know these assumptions.” He sat up and turned to face you better. “Hit me with your best shot.”

You laughed and took a breath. “Alright. Well, for a second I thought you gave me the valium to get me hooked.” Eddie laughed. Hard. “I told you they were stupid,”

“No, this is great. Keep going,”

“...I remember being surprised that your teeth are nice,”

“Oh, ouch. Did you think I was hitting the crystal pipe or something?” Eddie was beyond amused.

“My dad said drug dealers are all druggies, so…”

Eddie laughed again. “You’ve been sitting on this all year? Thinking you’re a terrible person because my teeth aren’t fucked up?”

“Eddieeeee,”

“I’m sorry, baby, but it’s pretty funny. Most the town thinks I worship the devil and they still consider themselves godly, and you-”

“Yeah, okay, I get it. I’m just saying, I’m sorry. I’m a better person now. And, like, you’ve made me a better person,”

“You’re not better. Just… more you,” Eddie told you. He wasn't wrong.

“Yeah, I guess so. It feels like I know who I am a bit more. Those parts of me are… the good parts,”

“If I were a shrink, I’d say something about all this good person/bad person shit,”

“But you’re not. You’re my boyfriend and it’s your birthday and I love you.”

Eddie smiled softly, content and sure. Sure of himself, his place with you, and maybe even his place in the world. As the two of you packed up to leave before the sun set and it grew cold, collecting the blankets and mix tape, Eddie repressed the sliver of doubt in his mind that asked, how can this last?

Next Chapter: Villains

End Note: $150 in 1986 is about $400 now. Inflation, baby.

Also, Ronnie’s letter is pieced together from actual quotes. It made it a bit more clunky, but I’ll take a bit of clunk in exchange for authenticity any day.

Fic Taglist: @ajeff855 @b-barnes04 @eddie-munson-is-a-sweetheart @nerd-squad-headquarters @word-wytch @harrys-tittie @munsonsmel0dy @sidthedollface2 @eddiethesexy @bardicfrustration @orpheusredux @munsonsgirl71 (did you ask to be on the taglist or did I imagine that) @a-time-for-wolvess @eddieswifu @rosaline-black @thegirlwhohides @emotionaldreamer @e0509 @briasnow-blog @kiyastrf94 @erinsingalong @rainylana @thescarletangelsstuff (won't let me tag you) @mrsdollardog

Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @munsonlives @sweetpeapod @depressooo-expressooo-blog @thorfemmes @hawkins-high @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob @mymoonisalways-in-scorpio @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @lacrymosa-24

#Mine #Eddie Munson #Eddie Munson Fanfic #Eddie Munson/You #Eddie Munson x You #Eddie Munson/Reader #Eddie Munson x Reader #Eddie Munson x Chubby!Reader #Chubby!Reader

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ablasphemyofpoets · 9 months

Text

Vaccine PSA for people in the US

It’s fall and that means time for vaccines! There are two everyone who can should get and an additional one for people over 60.

1- The new Covid booster! This was approved today, 9/13, and distribution will begin this week. Depending on where you are, it will be available the end of this week or beginning next week. You can get this booster if it’s been 2 months since your last one. It offers the best protection against the most current variants.

If you have insurance, the booster should be covered. If you don’t, the government is covering them until 2024. https://www.vaccines.gov/ will help you find where to get a free shot. Covid boosters will be available at health departments, pharmacies, mobile clinics, and doctors offices.

Why should you get one: the current circulating strains are very different from the previous ones with many mutations. Your previous boosters won’t protect against them very well. Healthy people are still getting very sick from Covid and hospitalizations and deaths are still high and will only rise going into winter. Long Covid is also a possibility. Even if you only get a mild case, you could infect someone else who won’t be so lucky. Getting a booster will protect you and your friends and family.

2- The flu shot- You probably do this every year. The flu shot is pretty standard but it’s also important especially with Covid because you can get both sicknesses at the same time. The flu also kills about 35,000 people per year in the US and while most of those people have an underlying conditions, many don’t. Even if you don’t die from the flu, it’s not very much fun and quick shot can help prevent you from getting it or lessen the severity. Getting your flu shot will also help protect the people around you who can’t get the shot because of allergies through herd immunity. It will also help protect the elderly and immunocompromised. Even if you don’t have an underlying condition that could make the flu serious for you, you probably know someone who does.

The flu shot is free at most county health departments and insurance will cover it as well. If you are in college, many colleges offer free shots for students and staff.

You can also get the Covid booster and the flu shot at the same time!

The best time to get the flu shot is between the end of September and the end of October. Getting it then helps ensure that your protection will last through most of the winter and the worst of flu season. It is not recommended to get it sooner than that because your protection will wear off over time.

3- RSV. This vaccine is new this year! However, it isn’t available or recommended to everyone. Right now, it is for pregnant people to protect their baby and for those over 60. Even if you aren’t in that demographic, you might know someone who is and they might not know about it. Talk to the people you care about and encourage them to get this vaccine.

Note that you should not get the RSV vaccine at the same time as your Covid or flu shot. It is recommended to wait 1-2 weeks in between to make sure you get the proper protection.

Insurances should cover this vaccine but make sure to check first! It can be quite expensive if not covered by insurance. Some places may offer it for free or reduced cost to vulnerable groups.

What is RSV? RSV is a mild respiratory virus and is just like a cold for most people. However, young babies and people over 60 are much more likely to develop severe illness and be hospitalized or die from it.

Here are some sources if you want to learn more about any of the information in this post.

#vaccine #medical #important #psa #get vaccinated #sick #covid isn't over #covid 19 #covid vaccine #long covid #covid pandemic #covid19 #flu #flu shot #rsvvaccine #rsv #rsvshot

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spiderrrling · 2 years

Text

Living After Midnight Chapter 3 (Eddie Munson x F!Carver!Reader)

Pairing - Eddie Munson x F!Carver! Reader

Word Count - 3.6k

Warnings - None, just an unbetaed chapter

A/N - yeahh this is a proper series now, itll keep updating on Thursdays and will be about 6 ish parts long? that might change, i just really like these two and ill keep writing it until i finish their story

Masterlist | Taglist

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Summer of 85...

The intense blaring Indiana July heat had finally arrived, the kind that made the asphalt bake and hair stick to the skin with sweat. Unpleasant for everyone involved. She had planned to spend her summer hiding away in Bauman’s books, the tiniest little bookstore tucked away in the back of Starcourt Mall.

She really enjoyed the company of books and on slow days she could hide behind the register reading. And, if she was really lucky, Robbin would bring over ice cream at the end of her shift and they would sit and people watch. It was simple, easy, and a good plan that she hoped would work out in her favour by the end of the summer.

But as always, life had other plans. It was the middle of June and school had just been out for a couple of weeks, and she was fully enjoying having two months before she inevitably had to enter her senior year at Hawkins High, when someone she didn’t expect walked through the doors to Bauman’s Books.

The soon to be three time repeating high school senior, the familiar stranger Eddie Munson. Who was somehow surviving the Indiana heat beneath his leather jacket and denim vest, with his messy curly hair hanging around his shoulders.

She knew Eddie Munson, well she knew of Eddie Munson. It was difficult to not know someone in a town as small as Hawkins, but it was exceptionally difficult not to know who Eddie was. He was infamous around Hawkins High and around town. He ran what had practically become the school's club for outcasts and nerds, the Hellfire Club.

But she didn’t really know Eddie Munson, she only thought who she was through the perceived image of him from others with peering eyes.

He strode into the small bookstore not saying anything, instead he headed for their small and limited game selection and carefully scanned the shelves, disregarding what he would have called cheap party games.

She tried to ignore him, to act as normal as possible but her eyes kept daring over the edge of the book she was reading to look at him as he flipped through a couple of adventure books with his brows knit tightly together.

With a dissatisfied sigh Eddie walked over to the desk and she pretended to be surprised as he did. “Can you order books? To here?”

“Sorry?” If she was being honest, she had been a little lost in thought looking at him and hadn’t fully heard what he said, but her response did seem to make him smile. “If there is a book I want, can I order it to here?”

“Yes! We should be able to do that for you, is there anything in particular you are looking for?”

“Lore and Legends, its the new Dungeons and Dragons manual.” Eddie seemed almost a little shy to admit that so openly to her. But she simply picked up a pen and noted down his request. “An order can take anywhere between a week and a month to arrive, if you put down your contact information we can notify you when your book arrives.” She explained to him, and he seemed to be hanging onto every word that left her mouth.

“I’ll just come by.” He simply said and nodded. She was a little puzzled by his response and wasn’t sure what he had meant at first, but he just flashed her a smile and disappeared out the door and into the rest of the mall.

That had been what she labelled Day 1

On Day 3 Eddie had returned to the store, but he didn’t waste any time scanning the shelves this time, instead he walked straight up to the register to ask if the book had arrived. It hadn’t.

“Between a week and a month, do you want to leave your contact information with us?” She asked him again. He gave her a curt no and walked back out of the store.

Then on Day 5 he returned again, this time he had his own book tucked under his arm. “Got anything for me today?” His eyes almost seemed to light up a little as he talked to her. “Nothing yet. But you do know they say patience is a virtue right?”

Eddie responded with a dramatic frown. “Contact information?” She asked for a third time.

“You know, I’m starting to think you just want my number.” He laughed and she couldn’t stop herself from blushing a little bit. “If you want it, you can just ask.”

“I believe I have asked.” That only made Eddie laugh more, this time he gave her a quick goodbye before he headed out the door.

Eddie returned again the next day on Day 6, the same book in his hands as the day before. This time she simply shook her head the second he walked into the store and made eye contact with her. In return Eddie dramatically pretended to swoon. “I’m going to go crazy waiting for this book you know.”

And then he did something she never expected him to, he jumped up on the counter.

“Ok if I stay?” To which she couldn’t bring herself to say no, besides she had come to like their small banter more and more.

And it continued like that for the next coming days, Eddie would walk into the store, and then he wouldn’t leave. Spending his afternoons and sometimes mornings in what others would call a daft little bookshop. Eddie quickly became a patron of Bauman’s Books.

And slowly their small pieces of banter changed into friendly conversation, he’d ask her about the book she was reading and he would patiently sit and listen as she talked about it. Or he’d ask her about which book she would read next and they’d spend what seemed like hours walking amongst the books discussing them. And at times, if she got lucky she would get to hear him talk about his plans for upcoming dungeons and dragons adventures, it was actually quite fascinating.

It didn’t take long before she found herself looking forward to her shifts and hoping Eddie would show up, she would feel her heart skip a beat when she heard the entry bell ring hoping it would be him.

As the days ticked by she got more and more excited for her shifts, starting to look forward to them, hoping that Eddie would stop by and spend more time in the store. There was something about him, the way he carried himself or the way he spoke had her developing a little crush.

However, the end of Day 14 arrived and Eddie hadn’t been by. He had stopped by every single day for the past week and they had formed some sort of companionship, where she found herself really enjoying being around him.

Yet, six hours later she had been sitting in the bookstore, a little ashamed she had agreed to cover Abby’s shift just in case Eddie would show up early, and yet he was nowhere to be seen.

Feeling a pang of disappointment ringing through her, it was clear he didn’t think about her or their friendship the same way she thought about him, and this just proved it. But maybe it was for the best she thought, having this wakeup call now and not later.

The mall was slowly becoming void of customers as it crept closer to closing time, and she decided it was time to close up the store. Her back was turned to the door as she heard the little bell ding.

“Sorry we are-” Closed, she was about to say closed. But as she turned around Eddie stood in the doorway to the store. And she couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence. His curly hair was a mess and it looked like he had just woken up and ran all the way there. But he was also soaking wet and his hair was sticking to his face.

“Sorry I’m late sweetheart, have you seen the storm outside?” Storm? When she arrived that morning the skies seemed clear but she hadn’t been outside since then so she simply shook her head. The way he used the pet name so casually made that pit of anxiety in her stomach both ease up and clench tighter. “Got anything for me?”

“No, not yet but it should be any day now.” She was totally and utterly distracted. He did show up, after all even if it was during closing he was still there now leaning against the counter looking at her with his big brown eyes that she couldn’t look at for too long or she would drown in them.

“Well, mind if I stay here? It beats the weather outside.” Eddie flashed her that smile that made her a little weak in the knees. “Only if you help me close up.”

And he did, no questions or complaints. Or rather, lots of questions but no complaints. Eddie helped her pull down the shutters covering the front of the store and she locked up. “Thank you.” She smiled his way and toyed with the keys in her hand.

As they headed outside they could see the storm had picked up a lot and it was properly storming. The rain was coming down hard and soaking the streets with water.

“Will you get home all right?”

“Yeah, I have my bike so I should be fine.”

“A bike?” He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. “You plan to bike in this weather? Absolutely not.” Eddie insisted on the matter. “I’ll give you a lift home, its not a big deal. Get your bile and I’ll pull up the van.” He said and ran off into the rain soaked parking lot before she could argue with him.

Besides she wasn’t sure if she wanted to argue with him, it meant more time spent with him, in his car.

“You don’t have to do this, you know.” She tried to change his mind, now a little terrified to get into his car with him. “I’ll be fine.”

“You’ll get soaked, and the roads are slippery.” Eddie shook his head and proceeded to take her bike from her. “You know, this really is just a safety precaution.” He laughed as he loaded her bike into the back of his van.

“If you go missing, then who is going to give me my Legends and Lore book? Or recommend new books to me when I run out?” Eddie spoke as they both got into his car, and she slid into the passenger side and bucked in her seatbelt. The rain was properly drumming down against the windshield and it was almost difficult to see outside.

She looked around the car trying not to be obvious. If she was being honest the car was a mess, but in a charming way. She could spot at least three books in the back of the van along with a blanket and some pillows. Along with a heap of empty cans and food wrappers. And by her feet laid an open shoe box stuffed to the brim with cassette tapes. Scanning the titles she could see some of them were albums or collections, but some were mixtapes by Eddie’s own making, and she immediately became curious as to what could be on them.

“One of the other sales assistants I suppose.” She looked over at him, but his eyes were completely focused on the road as he drove, his hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel. “No, it wouldn’t be the same thing.”

“When do you work tomorrow?” Eddie had parked outside her house and finally turned to look at her, leaning in just a little bit. “Afternoon, from five until closing.” She responded.

“Good.” He flashed her that same grin as before and there was a brief moment where it looked like he was about to lean in further and kissed her, his eyes fixated on her lips for just a brief moment. But of course he didn’t.

Eddie simply helped unload her bike, the rain soaking both of them, turning their hair sticky and shirts clammy, but neither of them cared. Eddie didn’t drive off until after he saw she had gotten safely into the house.

Five P.M the next day rolled around and she was clocked in and ready for her shift.

The shiny new cover of Lore and Legends peeked out from beneath the counter, Paul had done inventory during the morning shift, and it had finally arrived.

The only reason why Eddie came by the bookstore every afternoon. She did consider hiding the book for a second, just so she could prolong his visits by a little bit. But some part of her also wanted to see how he would react when the book finally arrived.

And then the nervous wait began, the seconds ticking by so slowly. There were only a few customers in the store that she spent time tidying her over as she waited.

She was sitting behind the counter as he walked in, a grin plastered to his face as he saw her and she couldn’t help but return it. She was happy to see him, even though it would be bitter sweet.

“Are you ready?” She asked and he stopped dead in his tracks looking at her with wide eyes and slowly nodding, not fully sure what she meant. She reached beneath the counter and pulled out the book, proudly presenting it to him with a smile.

Never in her life had she seen someone so excited, running up to the counter and taking the book from her hands, turning it over to admire the cover. His excitement had rubbed off on her and she couldn’t help but also be thrilled on his behalf it had arrived.

Eddie quickly paid for the book, but instead of leaving he opened up his new book and pulled out a pen, ready to start taking his notes as she ran around the store helping the other customers. But as long as she was there he struggled to focus on creating a new campaign.

His eyes kept wandering from the page to find her standing talking to a customer. He so admired that spark she got in her eyes when she lost herself to her thoughts and ideas. When she got so enraptured with what she was talking about it was impossible for him to look away.

The end of her shift finally came up and she was exhausted, the storm from last night had cleared and the blue summer sky had made its return, along with the heat. The air was now humid and clammy from the rain.

She had noticed Eddie had left at some point, he hadn’t even said goodbye this time. She gave Abby a quick goodbye and she started heading home for the day.

But before she could make it out of the mall someone yelling her name caught her attention.

"Hey! Wait up!" Her head turned at the familiar voice and soon she was face to face with a familiar curly haired boy. His notebooks and new manual tucked beneath his arm. He had stayed? He must have seen the confusion on her face and laughed. "I couldn't focus in there, too many people."

She was still too stunned to speak, not knowing what she should say. "Why am I here?" She nodded slowly in response to his words. "What are you doing now?"

"Now?"

"Now."

"Nothing?" Her answer sounded more like a question than an answer. "Good."

Eddie broke out in a massive smile. "I have something I want to show you, come with me?" Eddie said and offered up his hand to her, and before she could second guess herself she took it.

She had imagined holding Eddie's hand more times than she could count at this point. But actually holding his hand was totally different to anything she could have pictured. His hands were rough and calloused from years of playing guitar, and they were bigger than she expected.

Eddie was practically pulling her along out of the mall and to his van. It had been less than twenty four hours since she was in his car last, but it looked completely different. She could tell he had cleaned it out.

"And you're not kidnapping me?" She looked over at where he was sitting, she had no idea what was going on and it felt surreal. "No promises." Eddie winked and started the car.

She kept quickly glancing over at him as he drove, trying to figure out where he was taking her.

“Ok great, I am being kidnapped by Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, this is not how I expected my day to go.” She laughed as Eddie turned into a little dirt road and he laughed in response. Even though Hawkins was a small town, there were always places to hide away, new locations to discover to disappear.

When Eddie finally stopped the car, she realised they were standing at the base of Weathertop Mountain. "Come on." Eddie jumped out of the car, running around to the other side to help her down.

The hot summer air had cooled off for the night and turned sweet as she stepped out of the car. The night sky slowly painted various shades of reds, pinks and oranges as the sun started to set.

“Did you bring me out here just to hike up a mountain?” Eddie nodded slowly and offered his hand out to her as they began walking. “Just trust me will you.” He said and rolled his eyes at her jokingly.

They walked in silence for a bit, seeing the night sky slowly being pulled over Hawkins once more. Eddie’s hand didn’t leave hers. A shiver ran down her spine whenever she would feel his fingers brush up against her palm. Making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

“Do you actually think I’m a freak?” Eddie finally broke the silence between them and he turned to her as he asked the question. “Just you said it earlier in the car and I was wondering-”

“Well, you kinda seem to have been stalking me over the past two weeks.” She laughed quietly to herself. “But no, I don’t think you’re a freak.”

“What do you think of me then?”

“Of you?” Eddie hummed in response and she paused for a moment. Hesitating before she gave her answer. “I think you’re something special.”

“I can’t tell if you’re insulting or complimenting me, Carver.”

“I guess you’ll never know.”

They quipped back and forth between them as they hiked their way up the hill, the summer night air finally settling in. Making her shiver a little from the cold.

“So what are you so desperate to show me you’re having me hike this massive hill?”

“You’ll see, patience we’re almost there.” She caught a glimpse of his eyes, they looked almost black in the dim night light. “And then you’ll understand why I made you hike all the way up here.”

Finally they reached the top of the hill, both of them slightly out of breath from the long hike. He was still holding her hand in his and she had to desperately resist the temptation to lace her fingers with his. Desperately wanting to feel his fingers intertwined with hers.

“So what is it you’re so serious about showing me.” They stood so close she could hear his breaths and feel the heat radiating off him. Eddie’s eyes met hers and with the hand not holding hers he pointed upwards before lifting his hand further to tilt her chin slightly upwards, making her eyes leave his.

And that's when she saw it, the starry night sky above them was absolutely breathtaking. They were far away from the rest of town so that the sky wasn’t disrupted by the light pollution. She could see the stars so clearly from where she was standing.

Constellations mapped out against the dark blue backdrop, just gently illuminating the night. The moon was hanging low in the sky, not quite full but still breathtaking.

It took her a couple of moments to notice that while she was staring up at the night sky, he was looking directly at her. She met his eyes once more and time seemed to still as they stood there below the night sky.

“So is this what you wanted to show me?” Eddie nodded slowly as she spoke. “Most beautiful view in all of Hawkins”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re looking at me when you say that.”

“Yeah.”

And with that Eddie leaned in and closed the short distance between them, his hand still on her chin tipping her head back ever so slightly so his lips could meet hers. It was a gentle kiss, his lips barely brushing over hers, worried that if he did too much he would ruin the moment.

That had been the first time he had kissed her. She tried to keep count, but that didn’t last more than a couple of days before it became impossible.

They stayed up on that hill for hours, exchanging laughs and kisses beneath the stars. Sitting in the slightly damp grass as they fully enjoyed each other's company in private for the first time.

And still, the very next day. Eddie came strolling through the entrance to the little bookstore tucked away in the back of Starcourt mall.

“What, I can’t visit my favourite bookseller anymore? Eddie faked hurt for a moment before he strolled over to the register where she was standing. "I cannot believe this, guess I'll just have to place another order so you'll continue to accept my company."

"Yeah, will you be leaving your phone number with us this time?" She quipped back at him as he jumped up to sit on the counter and Eddie simply laughed at her comment. "Fair play, fair play."

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