#fixed the messed up part and then kept noticing other things i want to fix but i dont have the time or energy rn so

[oscarspubliclibrary]

a smooth operator, operatin' correctly

[baby-yongbok]

Ex

Boyfriend!Hwang Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

⇝ Genre: Angst then Smut then angst again. Dirty Drama.

⇝ Summary: We all have that one toxic person that we can’t let go of.

⇝ Warnings: Cheating , Arguing/Yelling, Dry Humping, Crying, Hyunjin is toxic - the manipulative type. (I think that's all, let me know if I missed anything!)

⇝ Word Count: 2.9k

⇝ A/N: I'm sorry in advance. I live for the drama, I'm so so sorry. My depresso has been prompting me to write angst and this is what I came up with today. It might be intense? I don't know honestly. All I know is that writing angst makes me happy lol + reader is depicted as chubby/plus size and is a POC ♡ I hope that you enjoy! Please don't hate me 💕

✧ Part II ✧ Masterlist ✧

It started with him forgetting coffee dates. The small chunks of time that the two of you carved out of your day to spend with each other quickly turned into bottled Starbucks drinks and ignored texts while you made your way to work. He said that it was because of his schedule and Hyunjin would never lie to you. 

Next were your nightly video calls. The two hours that you’d spend talking about your days and making future plans morphed into double and triple texting him until he replies with a lackluster night time send off and a declaration of love that you have no choice but to imagine leaving his lips. You haven’t heard from him in forever but it’s okay, you can fix this. 

You’re an artist, a digital artist for a living but a painter as a hobby. This trait is one of the many things that you and Hyunjin bonded over so when you proposed that the two of you do Paint and Sip dates on Friday nights he was all in. Everything was fine for a couple of weeks, you’d pick the picture and you’d both get to painting while you listen to your shared Spotify playlist. You’d talk and laugh while sipping whatever wine he brought with him, everything was finally feeling normal again but there was one thing that kept bothering you. 

His phone.

 It kept blowing up, vibrating, dinging and lighting up throughout the night. You’ve always understood that Hyunjin is a busy guy and his friends may need to reach him at odd hours of the night but there was something more to what you saw. He would ignore a message or two from Jeongin or even decline Chan’s calls from time to time but whenever his phone lit up with that damned flower icon he’d drop his brush like his life depended on it. 

You figured that as long as he’s here with you everything is fine. You never liked to micro manage and you're not the jealous type so snooping around wasn’t something that you were very into, until he canceled on you. Again. This is the third week that he’s said that something has come up and that he’ll be over at your place late. When you read his text you were already staring at his laptop wondering if it was really necessary to snoop through his cloud and read his texts. Surely he had a reasonable explanation for this right? Hyunjin would never lie to you. Right? You wanted to be right so badly and when you opened the computer, put in his password and clicked on the cloud you found out that you couldn’t be more wrong.

“What are you still doing up?” Hyunjin asked as he tiptoed into your bedroom. You were sitting at your desk with your phone in your hand, staring at your screen.

“How was your night?” You ask as you swipe on your phone, your eyes never leave the screen but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to notice.

“It was fine, got a lot done.” He turns towards your closet door but stops when he processes the mess around him. “Are these my clothes?”

“Yeah, you’re going to pack all of that along with whatever else you have around here and you’re going to leave.” He stares at you with pinched brows and then he takes in his scattered belongings again.

“What?” 

“You’re going to pack your shit.” You stand from your chair, glaring at him with narrow eyes. “And you’re going to go stay with her.”

You can practically hear him choke on his inhale once your words hit his ear. “Who are you talking about?”

“I can always make time for you just give me the date and the place.” You read from the screenshots illuminating your screen as you stalk towards him. “I hate when you ignore me, you know how much your attention means to me.”

“Stop it.” He turns to face you completely, watching you with worried eyes glazed with guilt.

“It doesn’t matter who I’m seeing, you know that you come first.” You project your voice so that it echoes off of every surface, he doesn’t get to avoid this. “Call me, I need to hear my baby.”

“How did you find those, you -” He sighs as you cut him off, practically yelling the next message.

“You left too many hickies to cover this time, I’ll return the favor on Friday.” 

“Enough of that, enough.” His tone tries to match yours but it fails, falling off into a pitiful whisper at the end. “You went through my computer?” 

He looks over at you with a cocktail of disbelief and disgust smeared over his features but you’re more than sure that the look on your face has got him beat. “ You’re fucking your ex.”

“It’s not like that, it's -” You cut him off, taking a wide step towards him.

“It’s not like that? You’re begging her for her time. You’re texting her every minute of every day. You’re fucking her and then coming here and fucking me, Hyunjin.”

“I know, okay I get that you’re mad, I’m sorry I just can’t let her go yet. It’s like there’s a piece of me that only she has possession of and no matter how much I try to ignore it I just can’t.” He runs his hands through his hair, his eyes taking in the way that your gaze cuts into him. 

“It’s been a year. I’ve been with you for an entire year. When did you have time to start this? How long have you been fucking her?” He shakes his head, turning towards the bedroom door to escape the situation in front of him. You follow hot on his trail, repeating your question. “How long?” You ask over and over until he finally snaps, yelling his answer in the middle of the living room.

“A couple of months, I don’t know five or six? Maybe even seven I don’t fucking know.” You scoff as rage floods through your veins and you pick up the nearest object and chuck it at him with all of the force you can muster. He dodges it easily but he doesn’t have as much luck with the remote that follows the path of the last item. “ Yara, stop it.”

The hiss in his voice turns into a loud gasp once he realizes his mistake. “Excuse me?” He called you by her name. His ex's name. 

“Fuck, I- I didn’t mean to call you that, angel, I swear it’s because we’re talking about her. That’s all. You’re not her, you’re so much better I swear. Let’s just - just talk about this okay?”

“There’s nothing to talk about. I want you out of my house, now. I’m done, Hyunjin. I’ve been begging for your attention for months and you’re off giving it to someone who’s using you for sex and attention. I did so much, I’ve done everything, but clearly you love fucking so much that you fucked me over. Are you proud of that shit? Are you happy?” He takes a couple of slow steps over to you as you stand there, chest heaving and heart heavy with the sadness that has allowed your burning anger to be the star of the show until now. Maybe if he shows you that he wants you, maybe if he says that you two can fix this you’ll consider believing him.

We all have that one toxic person that we can’t let go of. He’s not at fault for being bound to her so tightly, even if he broke your heart in the process. 

“Listen, angel, I love you so much. I want to be with you, I really do, no one else has fought for me and my time like you have. I don’t want to lose that, please let’s just talk about this. I’ll do anything for you, I swear.” Your glare softens, call it wishful thinking or maybe you’re blinded by the desperate burn of love in your chest but you believe him. You believe him just enough to let him splay his long fingers over the curve of your hip and pull you closer to him.

“Why do you need me if you have her?” You stare at the middle of his chest, watching it rise and fall.

“Because you love me in a way that she never could and never will.” He leans down, pressing a kiss to your temple as he brings his other hand to your waist. “She doesn’t see me like you do.”

He kisses over the shell of your ear, making his way down your neck. Your body is pressed against his as his hand kneads at the swell of your ass and he runs his tongue over the sensitive skin of your neck. You exhale heavily, bringing your hands up to rest on his biceps. You want to push him away, you want to get to the bottom of this and talk to him, so why are you pulling him closer? Why are you allowing small moans to leave your lips as he hypnotizes you into forgetting what he’s been doing to you.

“Hyunjin, stop it.” Your voice falters on the last word, giving way to the whimper fighting to escape your throat. 

“Push me away.” He whispers into your ear, his soft lips brushing against the shell of it and setting your nerves on fire. “If you mean it then push me away.” 

He stops everything, he doesn’t kiss you or squeeze you, you can hear the soft sound of his breathing and feel the gentle beating of his heart as his chest is pressed against your own. You can’t do this, you shouldn’t do this, your brain is screaming at you. You know better than to fall for this, push him away, now. Do it. 

“Don’t stop.” Your eyes flutter shut when he squeezes your ass again, pressing your hips into his so that the bulge in his pants pokes your belly button as it twitches in anticipation. 

“Say it again.” He plants a whisper of a kiss over your temple. “Say it again, angel, say my name.”

“Don’t stop, Hyunjin, please.” His kisses get sloppier as he gets closer to your lips, he plants a sloppy kiss to the corner of your mouth before catching your lips with his plump ones. You sigh into him, your hands fisting his shirt as your tongue tangles with his. He moans into your mouth, his hands tracing your hips as he takes some steps back, leading you both to the couch. 

“Tell me that you forgive me, baby.” He sits once the frame of the couch hits the back of his legs, dragging you down with him so that you're straddling his hips. His bulge pressed firmly into your dripping heat and you can’t help but to grind against him. Before you can settle into a steady rhythm Hyunjin grips your hips, holding you still against him. “Tell me.”

“I forgive you.” You mumble, the words sound just fine when they roll off of your tongue. They taste sweet as you lick your lips, staring into your lover's eyes defeatedly. You’re too deep into the brain fog, too desperate to feel the love that you’ve been chasing for months. You’d say anything just to feel Hyunjin touch you. You’d do anything to keep him here. 

“I knew you would.” He smiles up at you, starting to guide your hips against him. You throw your head back, your face contorting into a mask of pleasure. Hyunjin's fingers trace your jawline, sending chills down your spine. You close your eyes, allowing him access to any part of you he desires. “You need me too. Just like I need you, don’t you?”

You nod your head, picking up the rhythm of your hips as he starts to roll into you, matching your pace flawlessly. “I do, oh my god, I missed you.” You babble into the hot air as your hands find purchase on his shoulders. You can feel the night scarf covering your hair slip over the crown of your head and fall to the floor, your unruly hair frames your face and Hyunjin can’t help but to moan at the sight. 

“I missed my pretty baby too.” He grunts, eyebrows pinching together as he watches where your clothed cores press into each other. “Oh, fuck, I missed you so much.”

His hands are all over you as you move against him like he’s trying to memorize the pattern of your skin. He’s reintroducing himself with every pulse point that he can reach, lighting every inch of your skin aflame with desire. “Tell me your mine. Tell me you love me, please, please say it.”

“I’m all yours, angel. All fucking yours.” His hips buck up into you as your movements become more sloppy, your climax is dangling right in front of your face. It’s burning in the pit of your stomach, a strangled moan drags from your lips as you get closer to it.

“Again p-please, please, so close ‘s so close Jinnie, again.” Your nails dig into his shoulder, whimpers following your fucked out sentence as your eyes watch Hyunjin. You watch how he bites the tip of his tongue as he gets lost in this bubble of pleasure with you. Your own perfect shield of hot desire. 

“I love you.” He moans, throwing his head back against the couch, his grip on your hip tightens. The strength of his grasp is brushing yet delicious. “I’m yours. I’m all -” 

The melodic sound of Hyunjin’s phone ringing cut him off before he could finish his sentence. His head snaps up as his eyes widen and he stops moving against you. “Get off.”

You whimper, confused eyes staring down at him through your fucked out fog. “Angel, move.” He pushes you to the side much rougher than he intended and you watch him as he stands quickly, pulling his phone out of his back pocket and swiping the green button immediately. 

“Hey.” He clears his throat trying his best to not sound like he was seconds away from coming in his pants. “Yeah I can do that, just give me like twenty minutes, okay?” 

You listen, coming out of your haze just enough to process the situation. That ringtone sounded familiar, it’s the one that he always answers… It's her.

“Hyunjin.” You reach forward, grabbing his wrist but he pulls away, glancing back at you for just a second before turning his attention back to the phone call. 

“Nothing, that’s no one, I’m on my way.” You scoff, watching as he ends the call and starts to frantically fix his clothes. “I have to go something um - something came up.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Hyunjin ignores you, making his way over to your bedroom with you following close behind, a mirror image of what happened minutes ago. “You’re going to her? 

“She said that she needs me and I don’t -” 

“You just told me that you were mine. You just said that, Hyunjin.” You grab his wrist, prompting him to turn to you. He stares down at you with furrowed brows and glassy eyes like he’s in a fog, like he’s been hypnotized to follow a specific instruction. 

“And you said that you forgive me.” He reaches up to cup your cheek and your body melts into his touch before you can even fully process it. “I’ll be back tomorrow, angel. I’ll be yours tomorrow.”

His touch is gone just as fast as it came, leaving you with an empty ache in your chest as you watch him grab his bag and jacket. You stay rooted in place, feeling like your heart has been ripped out of your chest. “Hyunjin.” 

There’s a tremble in your voice as you say his name but he doesn’t seem to mind, it’s like he didn’t even hear you. “I love you.” He leans in to kiss your temple but misses completely, planting a half hearted peck against your hair as he rushes towards the door. You watch as he leaves, quiet and stunned. There are a million thoughts going through your head but you still feel unable to process what had just happened. The sound of the front door closing is what draws you out of your thoughts. 

The silence surrounding you allows room for the reality of the situation to echo around you, bouncing off of the walls and drowning you in this painfully unfamiliar feeling in your chest. You take a sharp inhale as tears start to prick at the back of your eyes. What was supposed to be a stable step towards your bed leaves sinking against its frame. You find yourself grasping one of Hyunjin’s shirts on the floor beneath you, your eyes trail from that garment to the next frantically. He’s everywhere. You can smell him, the soft cotton of the shirt makes you feel like you can feel the beating of his heart beneath it. Tears blur your vision as you sob into the fabric, clutching onto it like it’s all that you have left of him. Maybe it is. You gasp, a choked sob struggling past your lips as the true weight of the moment finally settles on your shoulders.

We all have that one toxic person that we can’t let go of.

[viennakarma]

Satisfaction [Part 2]

PART 2 OF SATISFACTION

Summary: Four times Lewis tried to apologize, and one time he didn't need to.

Word count: 4.3k

Tags: female!reader, apologetic!Lewis (finally), physiotherapist!reader, a little bit of romance, Lewis is trying, reader is more forgiving than the author would be, cursing, a bit angsty, happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Note: I'm so sorry for taking so long with this! I had a writer's block specifically with this one. For everyone who sent me asks about it, I read everything, sorry if I didn't reply to all! Luckily, one dramatic anon sent me an ask saying they would graduate college with a doctorate before this came out, and it made me laugh out loud BUT it actually sparked something in my brain and I managed to write, lol. So, thanks, Dramatic Anon, I owe you one :D

I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes (haven't had the time to proofread).

Find me on Twitter!

I.

“Hey, Lewis! How are you doing?” Angela said as soon as she picked up his call, and Lewis held his breath before answering.

“Yeah, uh, I’m alright-”, he scratched his face nervously.

“I hope you’re not giving Y/N a hard time anymore, yeah?” Angela joked a little, her voice light.

“Oh. You know about that?”

“Yeah, I called her a few days ago to check in how’s the work and she mentioned you were not very receptive,” Angela said and Lewis noticed that, even saying that, you didn’t call him what he was. A complete prick. “And since she didn’t call again, I assumed things got better between you two.”

“Well, about that-” Lewis sighed, not knowing.

“What?” Angela paused, her voice suddenly serious again.

“She resigned. And it was entirely my fault.” He ripped the band-aid off.

“Lewis, what the actual fuck?!”

“I was awful to her. Way worse than I assume she told you. And before you call me every name under the sun, I need to contact her and apologize. Unfortunately, she blocked my number now, so if you can kindly let me know her address, so I can apologize.”

“You better fix this mess, Lewis.” Angela said before ending the call, as less than a minute later, a text popped up on his screen, your address. Which was in London, not very far from his own neighborhood.

Lewis sent flowers to your place with a small note apologizing and asking you to unblock him. When you didn’t answer and didn’t unblock him, he called the florist he had ordered to double check if you had received the flowers. You did. So you just didn’t want to talk to him. He kept sending a bouquet every day for the next three days. On the fourth day, as he was back home, he decided to go to your place himself.

He brought another bouquet, ringing the bell in your house. He rose the bouquet to cover his face, and he heard your voice, opening.

“Hi there, buddy! If I give you a hundred pounds, would you not bother bringing these flowers here? Just- throw them on the bin or something-” You stopped abruptly as the flowers lowered revealing not the young delivery man who’s been bringing flowers to your place every single day, but Lewis Hamilton himself.

“So you’re not even receiving the flowers?” He asked, sounding hurt.

“I got the first one, and I have no interest in anything that comes from you,” you managed to say, looking him straight in the eyes.

You looked exhausted, your hair was messy and your face lacked any makeup. But worse of all, you looked hurt and angry. 

“Wait, let me just- let me apologize, I can explain even if it’s not-” He dropped the bouquet, pleading.

“Just fuck off, ok? You have not a single reason to be here today.”

“I was an ass to you and-”

“And now we’re nothing. We are just strangers, nothing more, nothing less. Fuck off!” You said and didn’t even give him a second before slamming the door on his face.

II.

So the flowers were a no.

And he wasn’t sure where to go from that, since he couldn’t come up with any other way to make you at least give him a chance to talk.

He was still trying to think of something when he crossed paths with Oscar Piastri during media day. Lewis stopped dead in his tracks as he saw the rookie driver munching on a little protein bar, the package showing it was the same as you had offered him weeks earlier.

“Hey, there, Oscar!” Lewis greeted him, “if you don’t mind me asking. Where did you get this?” He pointed to the little package in his hand.

“Oh, Lando’s new PT! She’s covering for Jon as he’ll be a few weeks on paternity leave.”

“Oh, is she here?”

“At McLaren, yes.”

Lewis nodded, going straight there, not bothering with explaining why he was there just walking in. He found you in a small room with Lando. You were guiding him through a stretching session with a silicone stretching. Lando was telling you something and you were laughing, a hand on his shoulder as Lando pulled his arms in and out.

“-no way you said that! Poor thing, she must have been scared!” You said, then you two laughed.

You were looking healthier than the last few times he had seen you. You looked like you had been sleeping well, and your hair was pretty, and you were wearing make up.

As Lewis approached, and you noticed his presence, you stopped laughing, face getting serious and focused on Lando.

“Oh, hey man!” Lando greeted him, smiley and unaware of the thing between you two.

“Hi. Y/N, can I talk to you? I just need one minute then I’ll leave you alone.”

You scoffed but didn’t look at him, and Lando looked from your face to Lewis’ confused with the tension suddenly so thick he would be able to cut it with a knife.

“Y/N, can you just-”

“You’re all good, Lando. Tomorrow we do another session an hour before Free Practice, and then a stretching session between FP1 and FP2.”

Lando nodded, unsure of what to do so he just watched as you turned away and packed your bag, leaving with long strides through the door. 

“Mate, I don’t know what the fuck you did, because I’ve never seen her be mean ever since I met her. Good luck, though, seems like you need it.” Lando said, leaving to the opposite side.

Lewis muttered “fuck” before going after you. He found you outside the motorhome, and ran up to block your path, but he miscalculated and you ended up running straight into him.

“What the fuck? Dude, just leave me alone!” You tried walking past him but he blocked you again.

“Please, I’m so sorry! Really, I am, I was such a dick to you and you didn’t deserve any of that.”

You didn’t look at his eyes, adjusting your bag as you sighed.

“I just- I don’t understand why you are doing this. I’m no one, I’m nothing. Just go on about your life.”

“No, no- You’re not nothing. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you when all you offered me was kindness.”

“Fine! Ok.” you muttered, seemingly exhausted, “Can I go now?”

He knew you didn’t actually forgive him, so he just let you go because he didn’t want to pressure you into something you were visibly not ready for. It didn’t mean he would give up, just that he needed a different approach.

III.

Lewis managed to find out that you’d stay a few more weeks working with Lando, so he arranged a well crafted plan to have you listen to him.

Desperate times asked for desperate measures.

So he managed to talk Lando into letting him drive you to the track that weekend, you two would have time to talk on the drive. He waited behind the wheel watching as you went to the backseat to leave your bags, then you opened the passenger door, smiling and chatting. But you stopped smiling as soon as you sat down and noticed him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, sounding more annoyed than angry.

“I’m your ride to the track today.”

“I’d rather not,” you muttered, removing the seat belt you had just put on.

“There’s no one else to take you there, please, just let us go,” he asked softly. You sighed, putting on the seat belt again and he smiled reaching the cup holder and offering you a cup of coffee, “got you a coffee.”

“Thanks,” you took it begrudgingly, but as you took a sip, you noticed it was your favorite, “how do you know I like this coffee?”

“You told me, during one of our sessions.”

“I thought you weren’t listening to a single word I said,” you scoffed, almost disdainful. He took it, because taking your anger was little compared to what he did to you.

“I listened to you.”

“Weird way of showing, then.”

You stared at the road he was softly driving. You didn’t like his company, that much was clear, but he was on a mission, and he would be damned if he wasn’t going to properly apologize. 

“I don’t even know why you treated me like trash,” you muttered suddenly, sniffling like you were trying to contain the tears, “just- I was so happy, you know? I’ve always been a fan of Formula 1, watched it growing up and everything. Then I get here all happy to achieve the greatest dream and I just get treated like shit from day one. I tried to be funny, I tried to be kind, I tried to be silent, and none of it worked. I don’t understand what you want from me now! I’m a person too, ok? I get sad and frustrated, and I have my own problems, but I don’t go around making everyone else’s lives shit just because I’m mad!”

“Yes, you are right. I treated you like shit when you never deserved it. I really regret it, for what it's worth,” He sighed, looking at you for a moment before focusing on the road, “my life was shit. I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth. I was just coming out of a relationship that I thought meant a lot to me, and I just lost Angela, who is one of my closest friends, and I was on the verge of losing my seat. It felt like everything was going wrong for a few weeks.”

That made you pause, turning to stare at him.

“What do you mean, losing your seat?” You sounded genuinely curious, and even a little worried.

“The negotiations for a new contract weren’t going ahead, and I was really worried Mercedes was going to get rid of me.”

“But you’re like- one of the GOATs! Why would they lose you?” Now you sounded exasperated, like you couldn't believe that. 

“Well, now everything is alright and signed, but it felt like I was really at risk back then.”

You stayed silent for a few minutes, mulling over his words, trying to wrap your head around his excuses. You were thoughtful the rest of the drive, until Lewis pulled up in a parking lot at the track. Finally, you nodded to yourself.

“I forgive you, Lewis. Just- Don’t do that to anyone ever again, it’s not cool,” you said, unlocking the seat belt, “thank you for the ride and for the effort in apologizing. Goodbye, Lewis.”

You took your bags from the backseat and left after waving at him again. It felt like a closed chapter to you, and you could bury whatever resentment you felt towards him. It was freeing in a way.

IV.

Lewis didn’t see you for a couple more race weeks, despite casually walking in front of McLaren’s garage and hospitality. He couldn’t catch a glimpse of you and he genuinely worried that your last goodbye was definitive.

Fortunately he saw you again late at night after a race. Almost everyone had left already, and Lewis had a long debriefing meeting with his team, so it was sheer luck to find you on the way to the parking lot, where you were standing against the wall, hugging yourself under a big coat and holding your bags. You seem worried and unwell.

“Hey,” he said, trying to sound like he wasn’t ecstatic to see you again, “are you ok?”

“Yeah, um- I missed my ride back to the hotel, so I’m trying for an uber or something,” you said, but Lewis unnoticed how you were pale and your lips looked dry.

“Are you sure you’re ok? You look like you’re about to pass out.” He pointed, and you breathed in, slowly. You felt very, very cold, with shivers up your body that you miserably trying to contain.

“I’ve got a little fever,” you mentioned, finally. Lewis raised his hand and touched your forehead, feeling it way more warm than a little fever.

“Little fever? You’re burning!” He exclaimed, putting his own Mercedes coat over you, then taking your bags and putting them over his shoulder, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride back.”

“You don’t have to, really-”

“I’m not leaving you here in the late hours of the night while having a fever! Now, come on!”

He held your forearm, worried you’d stumble and fall or something. With a big umbrella to face the rain, he guided you to his car, where a driver was waiting. The two of you sat on the backseat as Lewis instructed the driver to take you to the hotel.

“Should we take you to see a doctor or something?” Lewis asked.

“No, don’t worry, I already took an antipyretic. It should work soon.”

Back in the hotel, Lewis accompanied you up to your room even when you wanted to refuse, but he said he was worried, and it felt honest, so you let him take you up. He didn’t let you say anything as he pushed the door of your room and walked you inside.

“Are you still feeling cold?” He asked.

“Yes,” you put your bags away, but you watched as Lewis went into your luggage, “um- excuse me?” you crossed your arms, annoyed at him going through your things.

“Change into this, it will keep you warm,” he tossed you a sweater and matching pants, “I’ll ask room service for soup, so you can warm up.”

Huffing, you went into the bathroom and changed, glad because you were in fact a little bit warmer. You wore socks for the cold and got into bed, where Lewis helped tuck you in, pulling the duvet tight around you.

“Why are you doing all this? We’re just strangers, Lewis.” You shook your head, watching as he walked around the bed and sat beside you over the duvet.

“We’re not strangers, and I wanted to help,” he shrugged.

“We are strangers, we know nothing about each other,” you muttered.

“Well, I’m Lewis, my favorite color is purple and I have a dog named Roscoe,” he said which made you chuckle a little, “there, not strangers anymore.”

“Well, I’m Y/N, my favorite color is yellow and I don’t have a pet yet, but hopefully soon.”

Lewis eyed you carefully.

“I know you’re with McLaren on a temporary contract, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to come back to Mercedes after that,” he said, slowly. You sighed, shaking your head.

“I won’t go back, Lewis.” You said softly, for him to know you weren’t angry anymore, but the world had spun, life went on…

“But- Ellie said you were such a big fan! It’s ok if you don’t want to work with me anymore, I’ll understand. But I don’t think it’s fair that you lose your chance in such a big dream because of an asshole like me!”

“There are always other dreams to have, Lewis. When a door closes, others may open,” you untucked your arm so you could hold his arm in comfort. He held your hand, and when he felt your cold hand, he rubbed it softly, to warm you up.

“It’s not fair-”

“Lewis, I’m moving to Madrid in a few weeks.”

He stopped, visibly deflated hearing your words.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve never-”

“Lewis, it’s not because of you,” you pushed the duvet, freeing yourself so you could sit up beside him, backs to the headboard, “I got an amazing offer from Real Madrid. I’m gonna join their PT team.”

“Oh.”

His stomach dropped once again, thinking that life would lead you two different paths, new future, new plans, and Lewis won’t even be able to make it up to you through time as he was hoping for. Lewis expected that, with you coming back to Mercedes, he would have time to apologize with actions, more than just words.

“They’re my favorite football team, and I’ve always dreamed of getting there,” when you noticed how down he was with the news of your departure, you pressed his hand a bit more, “I told you there are many dreams to achieve.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about it if I hadn’t been so-”

“That’s enough, Lewis, it has nothing to do with you. This is my choice, something that I also dreamed of. It’s not the end of the world. If anything, there are lessons in what we went through.”

He wanted to ask you to stay, to give him and the Mercedes dream one more chance, but he knew it would be selfish of him to ask that. And he wasn’t willing to be selfish with you anymore. He would only have maybe a few more weeks with you, that he intended to nurture a friendship with you.

When your soup arrived, he stayed and watched you eat, and you thanked him profusely as the meds started working and you felt the fever dissipating.

V.

Lewis ended up going back to McLaren to find you all the time. Sometimes he brought a coffee for you, some other times he just wanted to invite you to lunch, or he wanted a protein bar, and after almost two weeks of that, his excuses ran dry and he only said he wanted to check on you. and he had been checking on you for a couple more weeks now.

“So…” Lando muttered with a knowing smirk, “you and Lewis, uh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, as you spotted Lando from behind, analyzing his squats.

“You went from hating him to becoming his friend pretty quickly,” Lando pointed.

“And…?”

“I don’t know but he’s here all the time to see you.”

“Nah, he’s just passing by.”

Lando let go of teasing you and switched topics to talk about something else for the remainder of your session. After you finished and Lando went for the post race debrief, you were getting ready to leave when Lewis found you again.

“What do you want?” You squinted your eyes at him. Lando’s teasing voice still in your head.

“Moody, are we?” Lewis joked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.

“Lewis.”

“Fine, fine! I’m taking you to dinner later today, ok?”

“Are you asking me out or demanding?” You frowned, pretending to be moody.

“I’m inviting you and implying I’m not taking no for an answer,” He winked.

“Lewis, I don’t think we-”

“Think of it as a farewell, celebratory dinner, yes? You’re leaving so soon to Madrid! Pretty please?” He joined both hands like he was begging.

“Fine. Stop pouting.” You rolled your eyes and he giggled, before leaving.

He texted you two hours later saying he was coming to pick you up. You dressed cozy and comfortable, since it was absolutely not a date. He texted you to let you know he was downstairs when you were finishing with your hair. As soon as you got in the car, you checked Lewis’ outfit.

“Is this ok?” You asked, pointing at yourself.

“It’s perfect.”

Lewis drove for forty minutes to the next town over. In the end, he took you to a cozy restaurant, small, a little cramped but so familial and cozy. You two sat in a corner booth, far from the windows. You went over the menu as Lewis explained that this place’s food tasted homemade and they also had vegan options, so he always went there whenever he was in that part of Italy.

You told Lewis everything about your move, how you had found a great apartment close to work, how you had enrolled in Spanish classes to start a month after your arrival, and everything.

After a hearty meal and chatting a lot, you two decided to go for a walk to eat some ice cream. The air was windy but not very cold, so you just walked side by side a little late at night.

“Are you sure nobody will see us?” You looked around to see if anyone had recognised him or had taken pictures.

“Yes, it’s very discreet in this part of town. Besides, it’s a little late, so not many people are around.”

“This is a very good gelato, Lewis! Thanks for taking me out today.” You muttered as the two of you walked around a big, dark park. You stood under a lamp post, finishing the last of your ice cream.

“How are you feeling about Madrid?” He asked you, looking interested.

“Nervous. Excited. I don’t know.” You whispered, smiling, you held the lamp post and let it take your weight as you flung around, all smiley because of the bit of wine you had at the restaurant, “It’s like a new adventure. You know when you’re about to do something that might be risky but gratifying? You’re scared but you have to-”

As you completed a full 360 around the lamp post, you were met with Lewis walking up to you and kissing you. He pressed his lips to yours, firm but tender, and it took you a while to assimilate what was happening. You held his coat and pushed him away only enough to break the kiss. The lime gelato kiss that had your stomach full of butterflies, and your heart beating almost out of its cage.

“Lewis-” you shook your head, still confused.

“Sorry, I- I just couldn’t pass on the opportunity,” he sighed and his breath fanned your cheek.

“We shouldn’t,”

“Why not?” He raised one hand to cradle your face, his thumb running your cheek.

“Because we started too messy. And- and I’m leaving soon. We don’t need to complicate things.”

You whispered, still not pulling away fully. You wanted it, so bad. But you knew you couldn’t get tangled in a messy situationship right before leaving. He was tempting, but you weren’t willing to risk whatever time was left of your silly little friendship.

So you took a step back. Still, you took his hand in yours, letting his warmth engulf you.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat, but you just smiled at him, seeing how he was memorizing your face, and how your eyes were shining bright for him.

“It’s ok. Just, wrong place and wrong time, right?”

He gulped, nodding.

You didn’t kiss again, but Lewis held your hand the whole drive back to Monza.

Understandably, Lewis didn’t come back for your last week at McLaren. Despite being a little hurt about his absence, it didn’t really upset you, deep down you knew that it was better like this. The distance would make the goodbye easier for the man who wormed his way into your life. The whole team at McLaren gave you a farewell cake, which was sweet considering you were just a temporary hire.

You had tears in your eyes saying goodbye to the team and to the formula 1 track.

After that, you went back to London to finish packing, and shipping a few of your furniture and belongings. The dinner with your family and closest friends was filled with tears, and you finally caught up with Angela, explaining everything that had happened.

When the day came, your parents and siblings took you to the airport and you said goodbye with teary eyes and a heavy heart.

You were about to board when a sudden commotion caught your attention, and from between the crowd Lewis Hamilton emerged, running towards you as if he were in a marathon. Confused and shocked, you waited for him to get closer, and as soon as he stopped in front of you, he held your face with both hands and pulled you in a kiss. After two seconds, you returned the kiss, deepening it by opening your lips. He devoured you for a couple more seconds, before pulling away when you were both panting.

“Lewis? What the fuck?”

“This doesn’t have to be a goodbye, right? We can- I don’t know, we can figure it out,” He muttered, face close to you.

“Lewis,” you hesitated, “I’m moving away. We’ll spend most of out time in different time zones-”

“Wouldn’t you like to try? It’s better to try than spend our lives haunted by what ifs” His argument was convincing. And the fact that he was just centimeters from your face, and the fact that you had just kissed and his cologne was divine… Very tempting.

“Lewis, the next time you cause a scene in front of an entire airport, I’m killing you,” you whispered, pecking his lips once more as the crowd dissipated of people boarding the plane.

“I wanted it to be memorable, like a romcom.”

“You’re annoying, that’s what you are. You’re lucky you’re handsome” You rolled your eyes, but Lewis could still see the big smile on your face, eyes glinting.

“Is that a yes to my question?”

“One date, Hamilton. And we’ll see where it will go from that” You smiled, pushing his chest, taking a step back.

“I’m going to Madrid as soon as the triple header is over,” He promised, pulling you close again by the waist.

“You better! I don’t know, maybe I will meet a handsome Spaniard,” You joked, playing hard to get. You closed the distance so you could whisper in his ear, “You better work if you want any prize, pretty boy.”

He gasped at your seductive words, and you pushed him away. He smiled at you. Pulling one of his necklaces, he put it around your neck, a pearl one, very beautiful. The airport called all the passengers for the flight.

“A promise. Yeah?” He said, holding the necklace softly.

“Yeah. See you soon?” You nodded.

“See you soon.”

He watched as you walked away, and before boarding, you turned around and blew him a kiss. He laughed, pretending it hit him right over his heart.

TAG LIST: @mirrorball-6 @chanshintien @icysdiary @nat-lh-44 @aphroditeisamilf @sugardontbesweet @nonsensical-nonsence @slytherheign @luv4kani @18754389 @lorarri @verew @honethatty12 @smartstupyd @moonraysworld @chanelxreid-blog @gemini5991 @comfortzonequeen @blue1amory @soryuwifeyxx @anangelwhodidntfall

[raynesbunny]

WHAT MAKES THEM EMBARRASSED?

Mashle headcanon!

💌: GN!reader, fluff

⚠️: Ooc and maybe cringe, slight suggestive on Orter's part?

Requested by: @rainee-da

Characters: Orter Madl, Rayne Ames, Abyss Razor

Others: Guess who's back! I was thinking of finishing all the short stories before going back, though— but I don't want to keep you guys waiting! I'll feel very bad if I do so｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡ Angst Rayne A. x reader coming soon! Still fixing a lot of errors<33 Enjoy reading, pookies!(≧▽≦) (this is my first time writing a headcanon so please do leave a message if there are errors!)

—

Orter Màdl

♡ It's almost impossible to make this man feel embarrassed; he hardly shows any expressions regardless of what others do—always wearing a straight and serious face! Many have attempted to make him laugh and smile, but their efforts have always been in vain, no matter how much they've tried. It almost seemed like expressing emotions is against the rules to him!

♡ And then there's you, his dearest, his partner, his beloved, his darling, his sweetheart, his sunshine, his angel, his lover, the one who melted his icy heart and kept it warm—the only one capable of evoking emotions within him that he never thought he would experience someday. (although, this rule-obsessed man cannot bring himself to admit it openly!)

♡ If there's one thing that can make Orter feel embarrassed, it would be your unexpected, sneaky and quick yet soft kisses and pecks!

♡ Whenever you peck his cheek, his brain momentarily stops functioning, and his heart flutters. His body freezes (and a faint blush is visible on his cheeks) at the touch of your soft lips against his skin.

♡ Your innocent and delicate feathered kisses drives him wild, but he would never dare to utter a word about his longing for more of those adorable little kisses!

Extra:

♡ Today was another busy day for the young man, Orter Màdl. Well— busier than usual that he had forgotten to bring his lunch with him.

And here you are, now in his office to deliver the homemade lunch to your hard-working lover, along with an encouraging letter you poured your heart into creating!

Upon noticing your presence, Orter averted his gaze from his work and looked up at your approaching figure with a small bag in your hand.

"What brings you here?" he asked.

"You forgot your lunch at home, and I won't allow my man to work with an empty stomach, so I decided to bring it here to you," you replied.

Orter remained silent, choosing to turn his focus back to his paperwork. However, his shoulders seemed more relaxed now, and his facial expression had softened. That sight alone was enough for you to know that he was grateful, and he doesn't need to express it through words or pay you back.

(The pile of paperwork on his desk bothered you. You seriously wanted to help, but this stubborn boyfriend of yours would not let you, and you were left with no choice.)

(Last time, you tried helping him, but it only ended up with you wrapped in his sand magic.)

"Here's your lunch, by the way. Don't forget to eat it at lunchtime," you said, placing the small bag with his lunchbox inside on his desk. When you heard no answer, you glanced at him, seeing that he was focused on his work.

This seemed to be the perfect time to take the chance and sneak a kiss.

As your lips were about to reach his cheek, Orter turned around (on purpose), causing your lips to meet his instead.

You were about to pull away immediately, only for the desert cane to grab your wrists, pin you down on his desk and deepen the kiss, preventing you from moving and keeping the kiss from breaking. Leaving you breathless and blushing, a flustered mess.

—

Rayne Ames

♡ Just like the rule-obsessed divine visionary, he's often cold and serious. But believe me when I say that he isn't cruel! He's just having a hard time expressing that he actually cares for the people, especially those whom he's fond of, interested in, and of course- you.

♡ Speaking of you, you are his everything. He'd do anything to keep you safe, make you feel loved, respected, and comforted! Even with his busy schedule, he'll find a way to prioritize you, no matter what. (You matter the most in his life, aside from his rabbits and Finn, of course he'll prioritize those who are important to him.) Though, there are times that he must attend to his duties first, but he'll be sure to make it up to you! It just takes some time, and hopefully you'll understand.

♡ And when I say you're his everything, I mean; you're his joy, his comfort, his warmth, his flower, his world, his dream, his reason to smile, his strength, his motivation, his star, his light—

♡ If there is something that makes this man embarrassed, it's the way you know or understand what he wants (sometimes mentioning it) and letting him know that you have given him your consent!

♡ He will hesitate at first, but will give in as soon as he knows that you are certain. Like those days where he was staring down at your lips with a troubled expression, and this will never go unnoticed by you.

♡ You held yourself back from laughing, it was truly an adorable and amusing sight!

♡ You would press your forehead against his, your lips parting to mutter the words that you have given him your consent.

♡ Rayne's face would turn bright red, his gaze snapping to you with a look of embarrassment. He cannot believe he got caught again!

♡ You chuckled at the expression on his face, but your laughter died down when Rayne immediately brought his lips to meet yours in a gentle yet firm kiss, the contact sending a warm shiver down your spine.

Extra:

♡ You were playing with Rayne's pet rabbits in your shared room, wearing the comfortable rabbit hoodie that matched with your boyfriend but in your favorite color.

"There! All done!" You chirped and stroked Usao's fluffy fur, staring at all the rabbits decorated with ribbons in awe.

"[Name.]"

At the sound of his voice calling your name, you turned around to face him. Once you did, you're met with himself close to you, the sudden closeness making your eyes widen in surprise and confusion. "Is something the matter?"

(It was hard reading him this time, not even a single clue was visible! Is he doing this on purpose?)

Said boyfriend shook his head before gently taking your hand in his, caressing it tenderly.

He closed his eyes and brought your hand up to his lips for him to place a soft and long kiss.

The kiss lasted for a while and it took you some time to process what just happened. When you did, you found yourself stunned and flustered.

—

Abyss Razor

♡ Believe when I say THAT THIS MAN GETS ALL FLUSTERED WITH EVERYTHING YOU DO. (You were just too much for his heart to handle, he might explode in embarrassment.)

♡ Even the simplest, smallest things you do, like getting close to him, holding his hand, or even a gentle poke on the cheek, headpats, or your compliments, cause him to freeze in embarrassment or leave him trembling and a stuttering mess. (Even your smile and voice!)

♡ The last time this happened was when you were combing his hair and you stopped when you caught a whiff of the scent of his hair.

You drew closer to him, hoping to smell that pleasant fragrance again.

"Say, Abyss, what shampoo do you use?"

♡ He responded with silence, you were just too close to him! Close enough that his brain stopped functioning!

♡ Abyss.exe has stopped working.

♡ You are welcome to shower this lover of yours with affection, but please have mercy! He has zero experience when it comes to this! (Your affections for him might be the cause of his death /j)

♡ He is so adorable, please don't ever hurt him. Cherish him with all your heart, for goodness' sake! He deserves all the love and care.<33

Extra:

Your fingers brushed the silky strands of your lover's hair, tucking it behind his ear before clipping it with a ribbon. (I live for the coquettish display<33)

Once you were done, you gasped at the sight of your lover with his hair neatly down and a ribbon clipped in place.

"My goodness! You look beautiful, my love, as always!"

"Even with my cursed evil eye?"

"Nonsense! I find your evil eye unique and beautiful! Even with or without that, you will always be a beauty in my eyes, both on the outside and the inside!"

Just as he was about to respond, you gently placed your finger on his lips and embraced him, burying your face in his stomach.

"Hush! Don't even think of saying those words. Your cursed evil eye has nothing to do with who you are! You have done nothing wrong! If no one else will accept the whole of you aside from Abel, then I WILL. I do not care what that evil eye of yours will do to me, I am willing to embrace everything in you. I will always love you, even with all your flaws. Nothing and no one can change my mind and my heart—"

You stopped yourself from rambling when you felt a sudden drop of liquid fall on top of your head.

"Abyss?"

You sat up to check on him, only for panic to rush through you as your eyes met his face that is soaked with tears.

"Did I say something wrong? Please, don't cry and tell me what's wrong! It pains me to see you in tears!" (You might cry too /j)

Receiving no response from him, you were left with no choice but to embrace him in a hug, hoping that it could provide him solace.

Abyss wrapped his arms around you in return, his tears soaking the fabric on your shoulder. (Which you did not mind at all.)

He could never be more grateful than being accepted despite the flaws he bore, especially his very own evil eye.

—

I'll add a few more characters for this headcanon after writing the second angst I'm planning to write! I hope you enjoyed reading my first headcanon! Have a great, wonderful day or night, lovelies!💌

[tinalbion]

'𝐓𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞' ||

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: The Ghoul x fem!Reader

𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄! Minors, DO NOT interact! Smut with plot, oral (female receiving), vaginal fingering, murder, canon typical language, attempted kidnapping, radiation poisoning

𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 10k

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: The second part (sort of) to Perfectly Misaligned, someone read it and was curious about the radiation poisoning aspect, so I gave it to them! The Ghoul trusts your judgment after being in his company for about a year now, but after your shared night together, you made what you thought was a simple mistake that almost cost your life not once, but twice. Will the Ghoul be able to save you?

© 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 𝐓𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫.

If he had just gotten out of his own head, then maybe he would have noticed how ill you’d been feeling, and maybe it wouldn’t have progressed the way it did. Or maybe if he would have just minded his own damn business and kept you at arm’s length like he initially wanted to, neither of you would be in this mess in the first place. 

But even in those two hundred years wandering the wastelands, he was bound to make a mistake, even if he didn’t want to acknowledge it was possible. 

He knew you were smart enough when it came to survival, so he never questioned you or your methods or how you handled your personal affairs. So you both trudged on after the rad storm and only mere days later, you two were on your way, scouting small dives and gathering spots for low lives and scum that would do just about anything for some caps or chems. It had been an awkward time for the both of you after the night you shared, and both of you were too apprehensive to speak of the things you’d done in case the other had disapproved of the conversation. And once again, you knew better than to push it, besides, you both came to an agreement that night: a proposal between you both to release some tension when needed. That was it. 

Maybe it was best not to push it too far in case he changed his mind, so you’d give him time, you were patient. But the Ghoul was the complete opposite. He disguised himself to be the type who could wait out anything, but there was always that itch, much like the one in his trigger finger that kept his decisions impulsive and sporadic. 

So you continued, pushing yourself to venture forth, falling back into old habits with your memory of him in such a compromising way tucked in the back of your mind. You did what you did best and sought information, some of the targets easily let their drunken thoughts slip when a pretty girl sat with them and liquored them up, others were more guarded and kept their eye on you, but nothing a little touch to their inner thigh wouldn't fix, all while the Ghoul watched intently from afar. 

He often watched how you slipped into the part so easily, and the part you played depended on the person you needed the information from. It was rare in the beginning for him to see you like this, and hell, he even fancied seeing just how easily people had been sidetracked by your seductions when he first watched you work. But the more he watched, the more he paid attention to the movements of your hands, the way your body tensed whenever they would touch you, and how you fought the urge to recoil but kept your expressions as neutral as possible. Oh, how he found it to be enjoyable! He had a curious thought as he watched you, he wondered if there was something about him that made you come to him with such a personal offer.

The corner of his mouth would pull into a cocky smile whenever he'd watch, his whiskey eyes stared with interest as he would see your face light up as soon as the information left the man's lips, and your head would turn slightly to meet the Ghoul’s gaze across the room. The slight smirk on your face, when you struck gold, was a sight he welcomed, and not just for the payload that it came with.

You'd slip away from the informant as soon as he was stupid enough to look away, easily slipping out of his sight and outside, away from prying eyes. The Ghoul would be right behind you on your heels, walking in sync with your footfalls. 

Most times, he'd tease you about how well you handled the men -and the women- when getting the information you needed, but this time, he was silent as he trailed alongside you. You looked at him from the corner of your eyes and silently regarded him, but you knew he had something to say and refused to say it. 

“You good?” He finally managed to ask, his eyes flickered over your face and then back ahead. 

Your brows furrowed together, confused by his question. “Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked him, your hand holding onto the strap of your bag as you adjusted it. “I got us the information, didn’t I?”

What he didn’t tell you was that your skin was more flushed than usual, and your forehead seemed to shine with the glaze of sweat that constantly coated it lately, but he figured you knew and decided not to comment on it considering you could take care of yourself. “Course you did,” he assured with that typical grin. 

You dropped it after that and continued your travels to the next town, which was a bit further away from your usual haunts, but you both could handle yourselves, yet there was a small nagging feeling in the back of your head. But as much as you tried to ignore it, you couldn't ignore the feeling that was creeping through your body. 

You set up camp near a small lake, or what was left of the pathetic excuse of a puddle that used to be a lake, and you stared out across the hillside while the fire crackled behind you. The Ghoul sat and fried up some of the meat he'd taken from some poor man's hide while you sipped greedily at your canteen, drinking the last few drops of the only water you had. You could boil some of what was left, maybe make it drinkable, but you were tired. Your body had felt as if it had been crushed by a yao guai the past two days, and you just chalked it up to constantly being on the move, you tried to assure yourself that was it. But you knew you were working against time now, and you couldn't bring the Ghoul into your personal fuck ups. The shame you felt for not realizing your stupidity sooner ate away at you. 

“It's like I'm campin’ with a mute nowadays, the hell is goin’ on in that head of yours, Bunny?”

You turned away from the skyline glittered with stars and looked over at him, his intense stare already on you. “What do you mean?” You asked.

“Ever since, well, you know when, you've been actin’ strange, almost distant, even.” He didn't move, his gaze didn't soften, he was more annoyed by your behavior than anything. 

“I've just been tired, feeling real out of it lately, I dunno, just need a good night's sleep I think.” You reached up and rubbed your neck, your eyes drooped slightly. You felt the fatigue hit you like a ton of bricks. “It has nothing to do with that night, I promise.”

This seemed to give the Ghoul something to think about, but he had no reason not to trust you, you hadn't given him a single reason yet. He nodded and leaned back again, resting against a large rock while he enjoyed the warmth of the fire before he headed into the large tent you'd both set up for the evening, but there was still something off about you, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. 

You joined him soon after at the fire and tried your best to keep that usual cheery disposition the Ghoul seemed to enjoy, but you’d fallen asleep sooner than expected as you listened to one of the many stories he liked to tell about his adventures across the wastelands. What you didn’t plan on was the Ghoul carrying you into the tent as you barely stirred, the worry he had was gone when you seemed to sleep comfortably, and he watched as your chest rose and fell as you looked so gentle while you dreamed. 

The days passed and you were feeling worse, your body was trying its best to fight off what you were suffering and it wasn't succeeding, but you kept your spirits high as you continued your journey, but you desperately needed to get your hands on some RadAway as soon as possible. You were mad at your carelessness after the night you and the Ghoul shared, thinking that all would be well if you were to take some of the chem to take care of the exposure you experienced. But after a few run-ins during your travels, you hadn't realized that the last couple of packs you had were used up, you were completely out. 

Your hands dug around frantically in your worn bag as you pushed your items around, looking intently for the familiar IV bag filled with liquid, or maybe one of the needles you got from that last merchant, but there was nothing. Your heart poured hard against your chest as the panic set in, but you couldn't bear to tell the Ghoul of your carelessness, this was no one's fault but your own, and you'd take care of it. If you didn't, what if he refused to touch you again? He wouldn’t find all the trouble you went through worth it, so he’d remain closed off to you once again, and you felt that it was a worse fate than suffering from radiation poisoning. 

Ridiculous, you knew this, but no amount of chems could beat the high you felt when his hands touched you the way they did.  

While the Ghoul tracked down which way a bounty could have gone, you ransacked everything you could in the abandoned diner that had a few parked cars still in front of it. You checked inside of those, then dug around the drawers, cabinets, and anything you could find that could have hidden away some treasures—desperation at its finest. The Ghoul just figured you were looking for extra caps or scrap to sell, which you often did in between merchants and settlements, so he left you to it. He walked along the inside as he waited for you, then quizzically pressed a button, which activated a jukebox that still seemed to work. 

“Well, hot damn,” he chuckled as the song started playing, transporting him back to when things didn't seem all that bad before the bombs dropped. If there was a time before he could go back to, it was when life wasn't so complicated, where it wasn't tooth and nail to fight to survive. He could wake up and expect to pour his heart out on the big screen, capturing the characters he so loved to play, but he hadn't thought of that part of him in so long, he was but a distant memory that no longer existed, that man was too weak to survive in the wastelands. 

While he reminisced about a time long past, you continued to dig around the area frantically, but you finally accepted that you wouldn't find anything you were looking for. The heavy sigh that left your lips echoed throughout the room. You'd never been so careless before, but you wouldn't dwell on that now, you had to get going and trudge on to another merchant. 

You stepped out of the back of the dining kitchen and peeked your head around to see where your traveling companion had gotten to, but it was quiet, save for the trickle of music you heard coming from the half-destroyed jukebox. It was a song your parents played for you when you could recall a time in the kitchen, your eyes closed gently and you smiled as you thought back on it. You were so wrapped up in the memory that you didn’t hear the heavy footsteps of the Ghoul step up beside you.

You looked over to see him regarding the jukebox with a sort of fondness in his eyes until he pulled his gaze to you, and then he wore a mischievous grin.  

“What?” You asked him suspiciously.

He hummed and reached over to grab your hand, pulling you into his grasp while his other hand rested gently on your waist. A side of this man you hadn’t known existed had begun to shine through little by little, a rare occasion for you both to witness. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What’s it look like, Bunny?” He asked dryly.

You just scoffed and allowed him to lead you across the floor, the weight of surviving and struggling through another day no longer a main concern, for now, you just enjoyed the moment before it fleeted away from you. You hadn’t danced in, well, you couldn’t recall when you ever did, but there was no time to think about that considering the Ghoul had tapped your boot with his own, getting you to move your foot. He told you to watch how he moved his feet, you had to mimic the direction in which he moved so you could follow along, and the more confident you became, the less stiff your body moved with his. Soon, you were swaying across the broken tiles and old debris, laughing at the way you felt lighthearted and silly, but the privacy of the moment was something you’d want to hold onto forever. 

‘It isn’t your sweet conversation

That brings this sensation

Oh no, it’s just the nearness of you-’

As sick as you were feeling, this dance lesson was something that you were glad you didn’t miss, but your body was fighting against you despite how happy you were feeling. You scolded yourself, hoping you could hang on for a little bit longer, but the Ghoul looked down at you as the gentle piano of the song played in the background, his eyes in those sunken-in sockets seemed troubled.

“You sure you’re good? You seem sicker than a dog lately, you feelin’ alright?”

“I uh, I’ll be fine, promise,” you lied with a small smile. “Just living in the moment, this is nice.”

He chuckled and knew you weren’t being completely honest with him, but if you knew what you were doing, then who was he to say otherwise? “Whatever you say, Bunny. And you ain’t too bad on your feet.” He smirked as he tested the waters and pulled away from you, then gave you a little spin. 

You spun and laughed as you almost tipped over, but he caught you with ease and he pulled you back flat on your feet. He stared down at you and wondered what it was you were thinking about, though he felt he wouldn’t admit to what he was thinking if given the chance. 

You looked up at him with the same look on your face, and your soft smile only grew when he kept staring. If only you could just have a bit of normalcy, you craved having just a slice of it like you once had, but all you could picture was him here with you, sort of in a moment like this one. This could be your new normal, him standing here with you, dancing around the desolate diner with the scratchy music playing. You laughed internally at the thought, but it didn’t hurt to pretend for now, but you’d deal with the ramifications later.

You thought you could feel it; the spark of something in the way he looked at you, and the way his hands held onto you as if you belonged here in his grasp, but you weren’t entirely sure. He didn’t budge, he was as still as a hunter watching its prey from the tall grass, but before you could say a word, the sudden rise of bile stung your throat. You began to cough and violently jerked from his arms and flung yourself away, gagging as you fell to your knees while you released the contents of your stomach onto the floor.

The Ghoul’s face turned to shock as he was beside you in an instant, his hand on your back while he stared down at you in sheer panic. “Bunny, what- are you okay?” He would wait for your answer while he attempted to comfort you, but human ailments hadn’t been a worry for him in so long, he had no idea what would be wrong.

After a moment, your breathing was heavy and you attempted to catch your breath before you responded. “I… I fucked up, cowboy, I’m sorry…” You turned to him, and the tears in your eyes from retching stung your eyes. 

“You didn’t do nothin’ of the sort-”

“I ran out of RadAway, I didn’t take anything after that night… I was careless.” You huffed as you stared up at him, looking and feeling so ashamed of your carelessness. As you were about to speak again, an odd sensation took over your body and you felt a sudden wave of dizziness, your eyes fluttered, and then you felt everything go black. 

The poisoning coursed through you rather quickly without any medicine, but the Ghoul didn’t have a drop on him either, so you were running on borrowed time until your body began to shut down and change drastically. He caught you before you fell unconscious, then slowly got to his feet and hoisted you into his arms, your limp body cradled against his chest as he searched around the diner for a safe place to keep you. He didn’t find much until his head tilted up as he groaned in frustration, his eyes then spotted a latch that led up to an attic or storage space of some kind. 

He gently set you down away from the area and opened the door, then climbed up the wooden ladder that slid down, and he peeked around to check the hidden room. It had been untouched for years up there, things were still neatly placed and packed away, so this would be the safest area to keep you until he could return.

Once you were up in the storage space and laid out on your blanket, he covered you with your jacket and looked around, hoping he could get lucky with a hidden medkit, but he turned up empty-handed.

“Dammit,” he muttered as he looked back at you. He knew you’d be pissed if he left you here, but he hid you away, you’d be safe until he returned. The Ghoul wasn’t sure how far away the next town was from where you were, so maybe he could return to the one previous. He had to do something, anything to get you what you needed before things took a turn for the worst, vomiting was only the beginning. He knelt beside you for a moment and looked down at your features, his eyes scanned your skin, anything that was alarming, but it had only been a few days since you both got close. He had time.

“I ain’t gonna be long, Bunny, I promise,” he muttered low, his gloved hand pulling your jacket up further to keep you covered, resisting the urge to smooth out your hair as a lover would do. “We’re gonna get you better.”

He stood and looked down at you while you slept, afraid to leave but too afraid to stay, he couldn’t just sit idly by and do nothing. So he left you there, locking up the crawl space door to assure your safety while he was away. It was an odd feeling as he traveled alone, not having you with him on an adventure almost felt wrong in a way, but the journey would hopefully be a quick one. 

His feet felt heavier than usual as he walked out of the diner, but he turned to look back at the decaying building and stared up at the walls that held you safely within them, but it was difficult for him to move forward. With a deep sigh and a hardened gaze, he sought after what he needed, and internally, that small little voice in his head had prayed for a miracle that you would be okay. 

You weren’t sure what happened, you were happily dancing one minute with the Ghoul, and the next was a complete blank, you just remember falling and that was it. Your eyes barely opened as you lazily rolled your head to the side, trying to focus your sight. You looked for him in your haze, calling out to him weakly, but no one responded to your calls. The Ghoul was probably just making sure no one approached the vicinity, you knew he would be overprotective in your current state. Another reason you cherished your friendship. 

Friendship, if that's what you want to call it. 

Your head was pounding and your body felt weak, on fire, and had the chills all at once, so you may have rested until he returned to your side. But the pain in your head was too much as it throbbed annoyingly, what else could you do but lay there as you stared at the ceiling filled with small holes? Yet the longer you lay there in silence, the more you realized just how quiet it was, and then you wondered if he was truly still wandering around the vicinity. 

What if he took it upon himself to… no, you had hoped not, that wasn't in your plans. You wanted to take care of it yourself when you were able to sleep it off, and yet there was the possibility that he took it upon himself. You slowly pushed yourself to your feet and almost tumbled into the wall, but you regained your footing well enough as you looked around the room. There was no indication he was here, even when you looked out of the second-story window, there was nothing. 

“Dammit,” you muttered. 

Of course, you caused problems for him, took him away from his work, and foiled it all. He'd never look at you again in such high regard, would he? Not after this. You cursed yourself and stumbled back to your makeshift bed, feeling the roughness of your dry throat that ached for water. As you reached for your pack, you hoped he'd come back and still give you a chance. Sleep was clawing at you again while you wondered if you could force yourself to remain awake, but you hadn't stood a chance. Your eyes closed and you prayed to whoever would listen to have him look at you like he did before. 

While you had slept, the Ghoul made decent progress across the wastelands to acquire what you needed, and he hoped he’d get it in time before your body shut down any further. He kept pushing the negative thoughts from his mind, whistling or humming that tune from the diner, just trying to make it through. Along the way, he took out raiders, random lone gunmen, and anyone else who figured he was easy pickings, patting them down after their bodies fell with a hard thud to the ground. He’d gathered a small collection of RadAway in his bag, but surely not enough to help you get back to yourself, so he promised himself only to find a few more. 

It was after this personal promise that he had stumbled into some hideout he didn’t know existed, yet he still pressed forward as if he had no time to deal with the several men who stepped out and blocked the view of the windows all around the destroyed building, but they insisted he stop to have a chat.

“Ain’t got time for autographs, boys, I got somethin’ important I gotta do,” he said as he brushed them off, walking past them without a second glance.

One of the raiders scoffed and raised his gun, cocking it to catch the Ghoul’s attention. “I ain’t askin’, freak,” the gunner guffawed. “Gimme what’s in your bag, now.”

The Ghoul took this as an insult, so he turned on his heels rather slowly, comically so as he looked at the four men who stood here, holding him up from his mission. “The fuck you just say to me?” He asked with a scoff. His hand had already rested comfortably on the hilt of his hand cannon, watching all the men with interest, mapping out the direction from which they’d all come after him. He was meticulous with his planning, making sure each bullet he shot wouldn’t go to waste. 

“You heard us, ghoul,” another man spat in reply, “give us what you got and you can keep your arms, possibly.”

The Ghoul chuckled to himself and lowered his gaze, his face hidden by the brim of his hat. “Now, I ain’t one to back down from a challenge, but I got someone who needs help. So I’ll cut y’all a deal. You got any RadAway? I’ll happily give you whatever is in this here bag,” he said as he patted the leather saddle bag. 

Whether it was a trick or not, the men figured if all he wanted was RadAway, he was stupid enough to trade it all for that. The one closest to the door walked inside, disappeared for a few moments, and came back with an entire bag filled with RadAway. 

“Figure with all the caps you probably got in there, we could buy more than we got,” the man laughed and tossed the bag onto the ground before him. “Now hand over the bag nice and easy,” he said.

“Well now,” the Ghoul started as he slid the bag from his shoulder and let it drop, “seems there’s been a change of plans, gentlemen.” With a fast hand and an even faster draw, the hand cannon was out and he shot all four men before they had a chance to react. “Been a pleasure doin’ business.” 

He walked up to the discarded bag and grabbed the IV bags, peering inside to ensure they were all accounted for. Most were untouched while others looked a tad worse for wear, but it was enough to be able to help you out and get you back on your feet. Just as he was about to throw his saddleback back over his shoulder, one last man emerged from the broken-down shack and took aim at the Ghoul. 

“You don't deserve to leave after what you did,” the man spat. 

The Ghoul stopped and cocked his head, not even bothering to look back at the man. “None of us deserve shit one way or the other, but my companion don't deserve to die.”

“Companion? You think your companion wants to be around you in the first place? You're a fucking ghoul, a freak. Probably just playin’ sick to get rid of you. But if it's RadAway you need, you're gonna end up killin’ ‘em anyway. Do them the favor and get the hell away from ‘em.” 

The Ghoul had more patience than a saint at that moment, but the part about killing you, it struck a nerve. Without looking back, he put an explosive bullet straight into the man's forehead, his head exploded with a large pop, and his body fell to the ground. 

“Fuck you,” the Ghoul huffed, grabbed his prize, his bag, and hustled back to the abandoned diner. 

If he hurried fast enough without stopping, maybe you had a fighting chance. 

You had thrown up several more times and could barely move from your makeshift bed, your limbs felt sore and your entire body was on fire. It felt uncomfortable just to lay there. How could you be so careless? Even though you were suffering from the effects of radiation poisoning, you knew that you'd never regret the decision you made that night. You’d happily do it again if given the chance. 

As you lay there half dazed, half-conscious, you swore you heard a melody from outside the gas station, you weren’t entirely sure. Poorly sung, the lyrics sounded screechy, it wasn’t exactly pleasant. But the voice wasn’t his, so you pushed yourself up as slowly and quietly as possible as you attempted to make your way over to the window. The sun was setting, the large ball of light almost hidden below the horizon as you peeked through the broken glass, seeing a group of three raiders wandering about as they heard the song playing on the jukebox.

You didn’t even realize it was still playing considering you’d been so out of it, but they figured someone had to have come here. Your plan was to be as quiet as possible, allowing them to think their timing was off, that someone just passed through and paid no mind to stick around. If push came to shove, you’d hole up on the roof and take them out from a higher ground. The Ghoul had taught you some basics since you would have rather run from combat than be a part of it, but he knew it was important to know if a situation ever arose. You’d have to thank him later for those helpful tips if you ended up needing them. 

The adrenaline was pumping through your system as they got closer, carelessly wandering, swinging their weapons into the nearby cars just for the sake of destruction. You wanted them to leave as soon as possible, so you hugged the nearest corner with your gun firmly in your grasp, and you did your best not to pass out at the most inopportune moment while you pressed your back against the wall.

The smaller man who had been looking around the outside of the diner didn’t seem interested in sticking around, but the other two wanted to be thorough in their search for anything worth the caps.

“Davie, c’mon, man, there’s nothing here,” the small man grumbled.

The larger man just laughed. “And what, you some all seeing, all knowing motherfucker now, Francis?” 

“Shut up, dick.” Francis huffed and waited outside, keeping an eye on the skyline in case there would be trouble.

The second man followed Davie inside the diner to scout around for anything, and he started pressing buttons on the jukebox. 

“Quit fuckin’ with that, Daren,” Davie barked as he tossed an empty box at him.

Daren huffed and continued to make his way around the diner, finding nothing of interest, but they made sure not to leave any stone unturned. 

As you sat up in the corner, you figured there was still a small chance they’d come up there, spot you, and do who knows what, but you had no real backup plan in case that were to happen. Maybe cover yourself with the blanket, pretend you were some discarded junk? Would that work? Raiders weren’t exactly the smartest bunch, but they’d smell you a mile away in a ridiculous cover, most likely. 

You calmed your breathing as they continued to ransack the kitchen area, right below where you were resting in the corner, and you couldn’t help but clasp your hand over your mouth just in case. You listened for them, pinpointing where they could be, how far away their voices were, or how close they’d gotten. Maybe they’d overlook the door altogether, they surely weren’t that thorough, right?

“Shit, Davie, there’s a door leading upstairs-” Daren pointed out, and you heard him tug at the small latch connected to it. 

Your heart dropped in the pit of your stomach as your entire body froze, your eyes went wide as you slowly pointed the gun toward the opening in case you needed to use it, but your hands were shaking so badly. Your vision blurred as you tried your best to will yourself still.

‘Don’t you dare pass out now, you idiot, keep still-’ You willed yourself, your hands slowly steadying to the best of your abilities. Your entire body was suddenly taken over with chills, your strength had been sapped from you as you leaned your head back, praying that they’d skip out on searching up there.

The footsteps beneath you got louder and you heard the door being yanked at. “What d’you think is up there?”

“Maybe the owner’s corpse with all his riches,” Daren laughed and pushed the door, but it was slightly stuck, so he slammed into it with his fist. The door was unlatched and splintered, causing it to remain slightly open.

Your body was shaking as you cowered deep into the corner, hoping they’d just gloss over you, but as soon as Daren stuck his head up through the opening, his eyes landed on you. You shook your head, hoping he wouldn’t say a word, your hand was hiding the gun beside you as you crouched down, but you couldn’t see well with the sweat beading onto your forehead dripping down your face.

“Well, well, we don’t have a corpse with riches, but we have a payload,” the man chuckled and pressed his way upward.

“What’cha got, Daren?” Davie asked as he remained downstairs.

“Please-” you begged him, “I have nothing, just take whatever’s in my bag, I’m sick…” You whispered, hoping he’d have a change of heart. 

He ignored everything you said and yanked at your wrist, causing you to yell out and quickly shoot a bullet into his arm. The raider released you and that’s when you scrambled toward the broken window, and despite your body screaming at you to not overexert yourself, you pushed through it and rolled onto the crackled shingles.

“The fuck happened?!” Davie barked as he climbed up the small ladder. 

“There’s a girl, we can use her for parts!” Daren called back, and Davie was immediately crawling up to assess the damage. “She fuckin’ shot me,” he growled as he ripped off a piece of his shirt, wrapping it around the wound. “Fuckin’ SHOT ME.”

You were too busy trying to figure out how badly it would hurt to drop down from this height, but you had either two large men manhandling you to deal with, or the smaller raider to grab you as soon as you hit the ground. You could probably take him, so you opted for the latter. As you timed it, you jumped and tried your best to land where you could shoot up right away and run, but Francis was too fast. He’d been assessing the entire thing from the outside, his weapon drawn, but once he caught sight of you, he yanked out the rope he had wrapped around his belt. 

“Where you goin’, sweetheart?”

“Fuck you,” you spat as you aimed and shot toward him, but you missed by just a few inches. “Fuck-”

Francis bolted toward you, his weapon drawn in one hand while the other gripped at the rope. He had a baseball bat primed and ready to incapacitate you if need be, swinging it mostly at your legs to bring you down, but you aimed your gun again and this time hit him in the shoulder. He let out an annoyed yell, then dug through his pocket, sucked in some sort of chemical, and you watched in horror as his expression transformed. 

His eyes bulged out, growing wide as the chem worked its way through his body, and the bullet wound was just a passing memory. He grew sporadic and violent with his swings, not calculating exactly where to hit, but blindly swinging so he’d at least hit something. You did your best to dodge and roll out of the way as he would hit, barely take a breath, and swing again, the speed in which he worked was insane. 

“Just leave me alone! I just wanna be left alone!” You screamed at the man, but if he could hear you, he showed no signs of listening. 

Davie and Daren popped out to see the smaller man going straight for you, so they decided to get around you and cut you off before you could run anywhere else. “Goin’ somewhere, sweetheart?” Daren yelled out a string of profanities and launched toward you, grabbed you by your arm, and yanked it hard, causing you to drop your only weapon.

Davie went around and grabbed your other arm, both of them lifting you from the ground as you dangled in between their grasp helplessly.

“Let me go!” You screamed again. 

“You shot me you fuckin’ whore, I ain’t letting you go after that. You’re going to the harvesters.”

“No, please, please! I’m sick!” You thrashed in their grasp, kicking your feet as they held onto you with a firm grip. With as much force as you could, you lunged at one of their arms and bit down. 

Daren shouted again and reeled his arm back, slapping you hard. You let out a cry and kicked even more, but Francis grabbed at your legs, tying them up before you could do any real damage before his chem ran out. Then the two larger men dropped you, taking that opportunity to tie you up completely, sure that you couldn’t escape your bonds now. 

“You wanna do the honors and carry her?” Davie asked.

“Fuck that, she shot and bit me,” Daren scoffed, kicking you in the ribs. 

Your body folded as you let out a cry, but Davie housed you up and tossed you over his shoulder. “Fine, fuckin’ whiney ass-”

“‘Scuse the hell out of you but where the fuck you  think you’re goin’ with my girl, there?” A voice called to them from behind. 

The three men all turned to look toward the Ghoul that stood there, his eyes glued to the figures that held onto his lucky rabbit's foot, and they sized him up without much worry. Daren’s annoyance grew with hearing your yells and seeing yet another obstacle in their way. 

“We found her first, ghoul, you can get your own smoothie somewhere else, yeah? She seems in top-notch condition and I ain’t one for sharin’.”

The Ghoul looked straight at you, taking notice in the smile you shot him as if to say thank goodness you’re here, he knew there’d be no way you’d want to escape him, right? “That there rabbit’s foot is mine, I don’t feel like partin’ with her just yet. So I’ll give you to the count of three to release her, or I’ll make you.”

The three men laughed hysterically and had no intentions of letting you go, and the smaller one -Francis- stepped forward. “Not sure if you heard us considerin’ your ears are kinda… gone? But She’s ours, finders keepers.”

“And I said, no.” The Ghoul said sternly, taking a single step forward, the familiar jingle of his boot spur seemed to cause you some comfort. “One.” The Ghoul held up his hand canon, took aim at the man on your right, Davie, and continued to glare. 

“You really got a problem here?”

Francis quickly took aim with the hidden .223 pistol he had stashed on his person and let out a bullet, hitting the Ghoul in his left shoulder. His body jerked slightly but he didn’t allow the force of the bullets to deter him much.  

“Two.”

Francis let off several more rounds into the Ghoul’s chest while Davie took out his 14mm pistol and landed a couple of rounds in him as well, but the Ghoul didn’t fall, nor did he back down. He smiled wickedly as he aimed his hand cannon, shooting each bullet off in succession. 

“Three.”

Daren’s left arm blasted off, and the splatter of blood covered your face as you ducked and yanked yourself from their grip, then Davie’s throat had been shot clean through, causing him to drop instantly. Francis was left alive, but barely, as he was attempting to crawl off with one missing leg. He was still riding the effects of the chem he inhaled, but they’d die off quickly with all the blood loss.

The Ghoul was one to play with his prey, so he slowly sauntered up to the raider and chuckled at the pathetic attempt of his escape. “Well damn,” he said as he squatted down closer and dug his finger into the gaping wound of his leg, causing him to scream.”If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that hurts.”

“Pl-please, stop, don’t h-hurt me, okay, man?! We just needed caps!”

“Ah well, I just needed to bring her some medicine to help her get better, and here you thought you could just up and take her?” He asked as he stood up, tilting his head down at the man with a mischievous smirk. He placed his boot onto the end of Francis’s leg and applied a gentle amount of pressure to keep him from crawling off too far.

You watched all of this, not feeling much remorse for him or the others after what they planned on doing to you, but you had no idea what you could have done if he hadn’t shown up when he did. You felt useless as you stood up shakily, your body swayed slightly as you tried to steady yourself, still feeling the poisoning coursing through you. The cold feeling took over and you felt your entire body drain of color as you fell to the ground again, but despite feeling faint again, you felt safe knowing he was here to help you.

The Ghoul’s eyes widened as you fell, so he removed his foot from the raider’s injury and aimed without a second thought at his head, blowing him away and taking care of the last issue that remained. He eagerly scooped you into his arms and knelt down beside you, digging through his pack to fish out the IV bag you needed. Wordlessly, he stared down at you as he opened your mouth, tipping the liquid inside as he watched you swallow it. When it went down smoothly, he let out a sigh of relief and let his head fall back, staring up at the sky as he thanked whatever was watching over you.

He sat there with you in his arms, his eyes directed toward the sky, and he laughed. “Fuckin’ lucky rabbit’s foot,” he mumbled as he slid the bag back onto his shoulder and hoisted you into his arms, taking you back to your bed in the attic of the diner. 

You awoke with a fierce headache, but your body overall didn’t feel like your blood was on fire, which was oddly suspicious. You recalled almost being kidnapped and taken, but then he appeared like some sort of twisted guardian angel, saving you at the last minute. The sun wasn’t up any longer, it was pitch black outside as you opened your eyes, the weariness of sleep slowly lifting like a veil being pulled up from your view. You turned to see him there, right next to you as he leaned his back against the wall, his hat tipped slightly low to cover his eyes as he tried to rest. There was no way to tell what he’d been through while he was gone, but he seemed pretty exhausted when he returned, or maybe you were delirious, but you were thankful he was here now. 

The urge to wake him was strong, wanting to just thank him profusely for what he’d done for you, it was more than anyone had done for you in your entire life. Without much debate, you sat up slowly and crawled over toward him, allowing your head to gently rest against his lap. He hadn’t stirred much, probably too worn from his travels to get that life-saving RadAway for you. You weren’t sure how you could ever repay him, but you’d figure it out. 

When morning came, you found yourself back in your makeshift bed, tucked in and comfortable with the Ghoul somehow laying next to you, his jacket draped over you for extra warmth, his hand abandoned to the side as he slept. But your slight movements woke him, and his deep still-human eyes met yours, sending your nerves on end. 

“Well, good morning, Bunny, you feelin’ any better?”

You nodded and stared into his eyes, unsure what to say or how to say it. “You got all that for me?” You asked, your voice soft and gentle as I looked over at the opened bag, the large handful of IV bags resting comfortably inside.

The Ghoul peeked over to the bag and back at you with a small smile. “Possibly,” he replied coolly. “Had to make sure you didn’t go and die on me,” he chuckled. “I ain’t done with you yet.”

You figured that was the sweetest confession you’d get from a man like this, so you took it and smiled wide while you scooted your body closer to his, gripping onto the remnants of his tattered shirt. “Thank you, cowboy, wouldn’t know what to do without you. And I’m sorry… I shouldn’t been so stupid-”

“You ain’t stupid, you should always tell me shit like this though, I could’a got some for you sooner,” he chastised. “Don’t hide shit like that, okay?” He seemed annoyed, but not by you, by the fact he could have lost you.

There wasn’t a way you could pinpoint what he was feeling, this man was a complicated creature, so you just stared across at the wall as you thought about your next words. “I just… didn’t want to trouble you. You think I’m this capable person who can help you when I’m not, I can’t even help myself. And I didn’t want you to… well…” You paused, unsure of how to word this next.

He didn’t rush you when you sought the words, he continued to lay there, offering you some form of comfort in the only way he knew how. The tension between the two of you was palpable as the time passed, and you could tell there was something on his mind. 

“I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me, and I didn’t want you to pull away… I don’t regret that night, I’d do it again with the same consequences,” you said firmly. 

He looked down at you, his eyes bore into yours as you spoke, telling him you would rather go through all of this pain and suffering again just to relive that night. This was stupidity, he thought, someone like you wanting to lower yourself to chase a night with him. He started to chuckle and shook his head as he looked at you.

“I could never quite get a read from you, you know that?” He said with a playful tone in his voice. “Can’t put my finger on it.”

Your hand gripped his shirt a little tighter, trying to fight that feeling that coiled in the depths of your belly, wanting to keep this moment pure and unsoiled due to how much of this hidden side the Ghoul was showing you right now, but you had a hunger for him like no other. “Is that such a bad thing?” You asked him.

This made him laugh again, his voice drawn out as there was a deep tone, almost like a mix between a hum and a growl. “Well I guess not,” he replied gently, trying to read this moment, but still being so caught off guard by your companionship, he wasn’t about to overstep. This side of him was uncharted for over two hundred years, he wasn’t sure if he was even capable of having this side of him anymore. His hand reached out and lingered over the one that gripped at his shirt, but he wasn’t sure if he should close that space.

Your head lifted to properly meet his gaze, staring into those eyes that seemed to reach the depths of your soul. “Can I do something?” You asked, your voice quiet, nervous. He nodded, allowing you to do whatever it was you wanted. With a soft push, you rolled to your knees, crawled over toward him, and gently placed your hand on his face, bringing yours closer. “You won’t be mad?”

He scoffed in response and continued to stare into your eyes, already seeing the life spring back into them, the color seeming even more bright than they were before. It was him who closed the gap between the two of you, his mouth hungrily capturing yours while he remained hands-off, allowing you to do as you please. He was just there to learn what he could, you’d show him what to do or how to go about it, he trusted you. And that was an unspoken bond if he ever had one. 

Your hand that was gently placed on his face stroked his textured skin softly with the pad of your thumb, while the other hand reached forward and slowly began to undo the tattered buttons on the shirt he wore. You took comfort in knowing he would tell you if he didn’t want you to continue, so you waited for any sign of that, but you were met with none. Your mouth continued to hungrily meld with his, your tongue darting out to swipe across his bottom lip, coaxing him to open further. He tried hard not to show you were getting to him, but the breathy sigh he made when your hand made contact with the bare upper half of his chest was one he couldn’t hold back. 

The smile on your face grew as you pushed the shirt from his form, both hands sliding off each side down his arms, the chill of his warm skin on yours was a feeling you sought after. He sat up and captured you in his arms, grabbing you rougher than intended, but he’d never hear you complain, and he moved your body effortlessly as he placed you down on your back, wanting to take control as he learned to explore you once again. 

He wasn’t feeling cocky or sure of himself this time, nor was he hiding behind the false boastfulness of his persona that he built for himself, but for the first time in so long, that deeply buried side of his former self slowly ate through. That ancient relic of a man he once was, the one that loved deeply. 

His hands began to work at your clothing, slowly removing your jacket, then your tank top and his fingers stopped at your undergarments, unsure if he should cross that line. You nodded as your hands reached behind you and removed it yourself, sliding the straps down your arms and revealing your bare skin to him. In this lighting, it was almost angelic as the sun kissed your skin through the broken window, his eyes drank in the sight of you while your hands went to remove the rest of what you wore. The Ghoul clenched his jaw when you were just about stripped, and his hands met yours at the hem of your underwear, asking to remove them himself without asking a thing. His hands skated down your outer thighs as you arched, allowing him to remove them completely.

No matter the lighting, the time of day, or whatever it was, he was very entranced by your body. How could something as soft looking as you survive in this harsh and blood-thirsty world? The dips, the curves, even the small knicks and markings you gained while being in the wastelands were like foreign land as his fingers explored you. You couldn’t handle how incredibly intimate this all felt, the Ghoul who was typically thirsty for blood and violence now examining your body as if it was his only salvation.

His head lowered to your breasts, kissing your skin softly as he left a soft, wet trail of kisses from your collarbone to your abdomen, wanting to see if he could try his luck. “I’m gonna try somethin’, tell me if you like it,” he said, breaking that silence to convey how new this was for him to get acquainted to.

You nodded. “Yeah, go ahead…” 

The Ghoul’s lips continued to trail down your waist, slowly tracing along your skin with his fingers until he stopped just above your core. His fingers gently slid between the folds, testing just how excited you’d been, and he was not disappointed. You had been one to grow exceedingly excited just from his touch alone. He pulled his fingers away from you and placed several firm kisses against you, gauging those pretty little sounds you had spilled from your mouth. His hot breath tickled against your skin before his tongue slowly slid against you teasingly, then he did it again and again as your body convulsed, your muscles tensing whenever his tongue delved slightly deeper. 

He’d remembered from your last encounter what really pushed you over the edge and brought his thumb against you, rubbing teasing circles against your clit while he continued to use his mouth. The sounds and cries he pulled from you were only causing him to grow hungrier, your broken sentences strung together into gibberish, only able to whine from the growing build up in your lower belly that coiled tightly. 

His tongue slid further into you and your body jolted slightly, your thighs almost tightened around him, so he made himself comfortable and gripped your thighs firmly, holding them in place while he continued to assault you with his tongue.

“Fuck, cowboy,” you groaned out, your thighs shaking as he pulled away, leaving hard bites around your inner thighs and your waist, marking you to make sure you remembered who made you feel this way. 

“This feelin’ good, Bunny? Am I gettin’ this right?”

“You’re driving me insane, yes, yes-” You cried out while he licked through your folds once as you spoke, the devilish smile on his face only growing wider. Your nails dug into the sleeping bag beneath you, but your hands grabbed at his shoulders and dug in slightly to his textured skin, causing the Ghoul to bury his mouth even further against you. The moans you released were almost melodious, angelic in a way. 

The Ghoul now sucked at your sensitive flesh, making sure not to inflict too much pain unless you instructed him to, and one of his hands left your thigh so he could push two of his fingers deep inside of your warm sex. He was gentle at first in his movements, but the man was starved, needing to go faster with his mouth and his fingers. 

“You feelin’ okay?” He asked, checking on you as your body continued to spasm beneath his grip. 

All you could do was nod frantically. “I’m so close, cowboy,” you warned, your voice cracking as your entire body ignited in chills. 

“Don’t hold back, Bunny, tell me how I’m doin’,” he said, leaving no room for questioning as his tongue continued to gently slide across your heated flesh. He continued to curl his fingers in a gentle motion, his eyes peered up at your face as he worked. “How badly you wanna cum?”

“Please, I need to so bad, it feels so good,” you cried out as you tried your best to hang on, wanting him to continue. 

“Let go then,” the Ghoul commanded, his mouth continued to lick and suck at your folds as his fingers picked up their pace, his mouth working fervently as he tried his best to bring you close to the edge. 

Your fingers gripped at the blanket beneath you, your leg still being held firmly in place while your body trembled from the pleasure, keeping you in place as you chased your orgasm. You were seeing white as you squeezed your eyes shut, you moaned out the playful nickname you gave him, not sure what else to call him as the wave of your pleasure carried you to new heights. Your body lay back against the floor as you felt the energy sapped from you, your breathing was ragged and heavy as you peeked up to see the Ghoul lean back on his knees, your release coating his mouth and chin as he quickly wiped it off with his thumb, sucking it off until he was as clean as he could get. 

Words couldn’t describe what you felt with him now, being on the brink of death only to be brought back and then seek out an orgasm that hard was… it was a wave of emotions. You hoped he wouldn’t leave you there like that, but he ended up surprising you and pulling you toward him, sheltering you in his embrace as he found his spot beside you on the floor. 

He couldn’t fathom what he’d say at this moment, what could he say right now? “You know, I was almost convinced you made a mistake,” he said, his voice low. 

You looked up at him with a grimace, trying to understand what he meant. 

“You lowerin’ yourself to get all physical with someone like me,” he clarified. “And if this keeps up, I’m just gonna end up killin’ you anyway.”

“If that was true, it would be my choice,” you said. 

He looked at you curiously. “You’d want that?”

This made you laugh and you shook your head playfully. “If I have RadAway, I should be okay, not a big deal. It’s just… tempting fate I suppose. I’m gonna die at some point, why not go out a way I want to?” You teased him as your hand was placed gently against his chest. 

“You’re insane,” the Ghoul huffed with a few shakes of his head. “But… I won’t lie, I kinda like it,” he hummed and ruffled your hair playfully. 

This just made you laugh and tighten your grip on him, and you felt content despite everything that happened prior to this. “So, you’re not mad?”

“Mad? Well, now I wouldn’t go that far, maybe a little pissed off you didn’t think it was worth mentionin’ to me,” the Ghoul said matter-of-factly. “But I ain’t mad, just happy you’re okay. Don’t do that shit again, though.” “I promise, I won’t,” you said as you made a gesture across your chest. “Guess I’ll just have to grab a bag every time I see one.”

He looked over at you curiously, smiling that typical cocky smile he always wore, but he didn’t take the bait just yet. “Oh? Plannin’ on needin’ a supply of RadAway?” He wondered.

Your face flushed and felt warm as you reached over and stretched your arm out, grabbing one of the half-full IV bags, and then your gaze turned back to his. “If we’re planning on continuing whatever this is, I can’t be caught off guard again.”

The Ghoul’s eyes glimmered with mischievousness, staring at you with surprise. “You wanna continue this?”

This caused you to scoff and you looked up at him with a playful expression. “Of course? Why wouldn’t I? Went through all this trouble and you think I’m just gonna call it off, then you’re-” 

The Ghoul placed his hand on the back of your head, pulled you closer toward him, and silenced you with his lips. It lasted for a brief moment, but it was all he needed to assure you that he was still in this, and he may have threatened you to keep it quiet before, there was almost a silent understanding that hung in the air. You would keep your word though, but for now, it was just the both of you at this moment while you climbed into his lap.

He just scoffed and watched your nude form sit atop him. “Whatcha doin’ there, Bunny?” It was only meant as playful, he would never dream of pushing you away like this, he craved you more than you realized, the taste of you was divine, too. 

Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer toward you. “I wanna show you how thankful I am you saved me.”

His eyes softened and allowed his hands to slowly slide down the curves and dips of your hips, smiling wide to himself as he watched you with great interest. “Guess I’ll have to save you more often, then.” 

[augiewrites]

"secret admirer" - dead poets society (part 5)

summary: y/n receives a curious invitation from meeks and has a surprise encounter with neil and todd

pairing: anonymous!dead poet x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.2k

previous | next

It was finally Friday, and Y/N was looking forward to spending the weekend recovering from a week of non-stop exams, cramming, and a nonexistent sleep schedule. The morning’s classes had been a drag so far, and they were looking forward to the reprieve of Keating’s class. Knowing they'd be in close proximity to their admirer aside, Keating’s class gave them an opportunity to activate another part of their brain—one concerned less with grades and formulas.

No, this part was more concerned with matters of feeling. Matters of love, art, expression—everything crucial to finding true meaning in life.

Meaning.

Something that Y/N’s life—and the students of Welton’s lives—was severely lacking.

Y/N shoved the existential crisis to the back of their mind, shooting Todd a smile as he occupied the desk at the front of the class.

Their desk compartment was empty aside from their textbook and notes. Y/N felt their heart drop. It had been empty for days.

Did I make a mistake leaving that poem?

Y/N did their best to not look disappointed. The only thing more embarrassing than their poet’s lack of response was the thought of him observing their discontent.

Keating’s class didn't give them much reprieve that day.

_________________________________________ 

Against their better judgment, Y/N found themselves in the library during common hour. In all truth, Y/N just wanted to go back to their dorm and bang their head against the wall until they fell asleep. Alas, the expectation of a 4.0 GPA was looming over their head.

Thankfully, Meeks was the only other person to show up. Y/N didn't think they had the strength to deal with Dalton.

“So are you just going to keep side eyeing me, or do you have something to say?” Y/N set down their pencil and turned to face Meeks.

“Y/N, you've sighed three times within the last minute,” Meeks quipped, "seems like you're the one with something to say."

“But I'm right, though. You have something you want to say."

“I'll share with the class if you will.”

The two stared at each other for a moment—Meeks' expression much lighter compared to Y/N’s frustrated features.

Y/N gave in first.

“I’m tired, Meeks."

“Of?..."

“Everything.”

“You’re going to have to give me a little more here, Y/N.”

“…”

"I'm waiting."

“My GPA dropped to a 3.7," Y/N’s gaze was fixed to the table, “my parents are not happy. I feel like all I ever do is try, but it's not enough, and it never will be. My social life is practically nonexistent, I don't remember the last time I had fun, and I can feel my spirit dying. Some days it feels like I'm dying."

“You’re more than your grades, Y/N. You have to know that."

“I know that, Meeks. They don't,” Y/N let out a bitter laugh, “they ship me off to this prison, don't let me come home for breaks, and they call me maybe twice a semester if I'm lucky. They see my grades more than they ever see me."

Meeks was silent for a beat as Y/N cradled their head in their hands.

“Tomorrow night. Meet me outside the East wing at 10PM.”

“Meeks, what are you—“

“Just trust me. If you care about your spirit, anyway."

“Fine,” Y/N began packing their bag and stood up, nodding absentmindedly, "yeah, okay."

Because everything was cosmically determined to go wrong, Y/N crashed into Charlie as they rounded the corner out of the library. Their armload of textbooks crashed to the floor.

“Don’t you know to look both ways before crossing the street?" Charlie joked as he knelt to pick up Y/N’s books.

Y/N kept their head down as they gathered the mess of note paper that exploded out of their trig book.

“I mean, really, Y/N. If you want to feel me up you don't need to be so aggressive about it—“

Charlie’s sly smile melted into concern when he noticed the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

"Hey, are you okay, Y/N?” Charlie passed the books to Y/N and placed a gentle hand on their upper am.

Y/N gave the boy a tight lipped smile and stepped away from his touch.

“I'm fine, Dalton," Y/N was already moving down the hall.

“Y/N—“

“If you're looking for Meeks, he's still in there."

Y/N disappeared around the corner, leaving Charlie staring at the space they just occupied.

_________________________________________

Y/N wasn’t one for skipping class, but it was the last period of the day and Y/N thought their head would explode if they didn’t get away from everyone as soon as possible.

They triple checked that the hallway was empty before rushing into the storage room filled with students’ empty luggage.

But the room wasn’t unoccupied like they expected.

Neil Perry and Todd Anderson were in the middle of the room, locked in a gentle embrace.

They jumped apart when they heard Y/N’s soft sound of surprise, and the trio looked at each other in shock for a beat.

“We were just—” Neil took a step away from Todd before the other boy cut him off, surprising everyone, seemingly including himself.

“We’re together.”

They all stared at each other for another moment before Neil stepped forward again.

“You can’t tell anyone, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” Y/N blinked, suddenly coming alive again, “I would never.”

Relief washed over the two boys. Todd was more red than Y/N thought was humanly possible.

“Okay, I’m just gonna,” Y/N took a step back and jerked a thumb over their shoulder at the door, “go…”

They turned quickly to leave.

“Y/N.” Neil’s hand enclosed their wrist as they reached for the doorknob.

They looked up into Neil’s soft gaze, a faint smile on his face, “thank you.”

“Of course,” they returned the smile and waved to Todd as they slipped out the door, rushing to their dorm to avoid being caught for truancy.

_________________________________________

Y/N had been laying in bed for all of fifteen minutes before they heard the familiar sound of paper sliding under the door.

They were out of bed and rushing to open the door before they could think twice. Truancy be damned.

The empty hallway mocked Y/N.

Frustrated tears welled in their eyes as they slammed the door and grabbed the envelope off the floor before ripping it open.

Beloved Y/N,

In your eyes, a storm silently brews, Emotional tempest, tears it strews. I stand close, a silent observer, Love entangled in your pain, a fervent preserver.

Your hurt, a whisper in the quiet air, A shared burden, a weight to bear. In the shadows, love stands strong, A balm for wounds, a solace lifelong.

In the heart's tempest, emotions entwine, Love persists, a steadfast lifeline. I may not heal all that pains your soul, But together, in love, we find a way to be whole.

x, Yours.

Y/N let the tears flow freely as they sunk down onto the bed.

They were certain of who wasn’t their poet, but they were in denial about who it could be.

~~~

part six

a/n: any reality where neil and todd aren't in love is a crime against nature

taglist: @vvnbxz @edb954

[hangesdarling]

the two of us — h. zoë

PAIRING. Hange Zoë x female reader SYNOPSIS. You are the Female titan under Dr. Zoë's experiments, could it be that your relationship is growing to something more? CONTENT. 18+, MDNI, mentions of squirting, oral sex, some light angst, Erwin stirring conflict WORD COUNT. 2.3k A/N. this is part 2 of captive as requested by @coconutchan (hope u don't mind me tagging u hehe) (I just noticed that captive is also 2.3k words long lmaooo major coincidence xD)

"You're an extremely unethical scientist, you know that?" you managed to mutter in between the soft moans spilling from your lips, a hand clutching on the couch as Hange continued to spread you open for them. 

"That's a very vague way to say `Hey, Hange thanks for making me squirt four times in less than an hour,ʼ" Hange chuckled, raising their head a little to get a good look at your flushed face. Their breath breezed on your soak folds, their lips digging in to suck your clit once more. 

Your back arched, hips chasing the expanse of their tongue as they kept a firm palm against your inner thigh. They've been in this position for half an hour, head buried between your thighs. What started as a frivolous banter ended up with another intimate session as if you hadn't done it early that morning. 

"You're exaggerating," you argued, trying to ease down how much your legs shook as another wave of orgasm crashed right at your core. Hange smiled to themself, their tongue rolling on your insides to gather up the remnants of your release. When they sat up, you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the sight of that perpetual smirk in their face, showing their smugness right after making you come. Hange was too aware of just how good you felt under their touch, their eyes reading at every rise of your chest or every soft moan you managed to slip out.

"I think your soaked skirt could speak for itself, sweetheart," they snickered once more, taking a good look at the mess under you before pulling down the skirt bundled at your waist. "You've been so good today despite your bratty attitude. I like it."

With that remark, you might have been tempted to kick their ass just as you sat up. Not only did they refer to your intimate sessions but also to the information you managed to give them so far. Hange fixed their creased shirt, their other hand leafing through the pages containing what they know about your abilities as a titan shifter. It was difficult to make you talk but Hange managed to pull through by asking the right questions and just enough charm. Hange lightly bit on the edge of their pen, eyes trailing down their list. 

"Hm, I wonder what else?" they thought out loud. Hardening, agility, stamina, speed, endurance... what else? 

"Flexibility," you butted on their train of thoughts, busy smoothing out your clothes with a firm palm. 

Hange glanced at you, eyes crinkling as they smirked, "Oh, I know that already." 

"How observant of you," you scoffed. 

Hange tilted their head, facing you as they spoke. 

"That's true and I know there are things you haven't told me yet."

"Those are things you should be finding out by yourself, Doctor." 

"I like it when you're difficult," Hange laughed, a brief hearty one from their throat. 

"Cause it turns you on?" 

"Oh, don't get me started with that," Hange grinned, flipping through the few pages for the last time. "Anyway, I still have experiments for you tomorrow."

Hange gave a soft pat on your hair, fingers lingering for just a moment before they stood up. 

"Rest for now, alright?"

As they walked out and disappeared behind the door of that lab, you wanted to ask where they would go, a subtle plea to tell you their whereabouts so you could drift off to sleep knowing that they would come back. But as the door shut closed and lights went off, you cursed at your vulnerability, trying to cut away the possible tether linking your heart to theirs. 

Hange is an enemy. Your enemy. 

You shut your eyes, squeezing out the lingering unwelcome thoughts, burying them in a place far away. But even at the edge of sleep, your mind snapped, pulling you out of a hazy scene of dream as the door opened once more. 

Light poured in, a blurring white at the edge spilling at the center table and some lab equipment was strewn at the side. You sat up, grazing over the figure's taller stature entering. Your hand felt for the shiv squeezed on the crevice in the couch, your body in alert stance as you felt that the person approaching wasn't Hange just from the heavier footsteps against the floor. The switch was flicked on, filling the room with light once more. 

Then there he was, the man you were warned about, the devil himself in the flesh: Erwin Smith. If it wasn't for his astute planning as the mastermind of the previous attack, you wouldn't have been on the couch of this lab, experimented by your enemies. 

Erwin greeted you with much politeness, a practiced formality of words carefully crafted for his prey. Your mind skipped over his pleasantries, focusing on the language in his eyes that his words couldn't hide. It was clear, even at the stray threads from his careful weaving that he only sees you as nothing but a weapon to be used later on. Even as he sat across from you with that friendly smile and conversational tone of interest, you couldn't put a sliver of trust in him. 

"To be honest, Dr. Zoë insisted on your stay here, Y/N," he said, a hand indicating the laboratory and your unrestrained hands. "Such a considerate move, bearing in mind that you are a trained soldier." 

He stood up, walking over to the lab equipment as if in inspection. Hange frequently used those tools and equipment but found no time to clean up the dusting wires powering the engine inside.

"Given this unrestraint opportunity, you could have tampered with the equipment without Hange knowing." Erwin ran a finger on the trail of dust before continuing, "But you see? Nothing was touched in here. No sign of infringement."

He looked back at you with a small, knowing smile and ever-perusing eyes. "Why is that, I wonder?"

"I shouldn't say anything that could be used against me, don't you think?" You swallowed the lump in your throat, hard eyes set upon him when truly your heart wanted to bury itself deeper as if doing so would get you off Erwin's perusal.

"Oh, right. Fair enough," he said but only stepped closer from where you sat. "However... I'm starting to think that a seasoned soldier such as yourself is falling for Dr. Zoë's charms."

And even before you could utter a rebuttal, he only stepped closer and continued, "Their charm is their greatest tactic next to their intellect. I would say that even a mindless titan would yield."

Followed by a humorless chuckle, a smile curled on the side of his lip.

"You, Y/N, you've become so obedient to them as far as I can see. Even someone as stubborn as yourself could be coaxed into submission, after all," he said, eyes gazing down at your stature. You felt indignant at how small you were from where he stood. 

Your tongue twisted into a knot, the outbursts you have for him clamped shut and swallowed into an endless pit. The anger bubbling up your chest could only transpire as a hard glare as he moved to open the door once more. 

"Anyway, I'll be taking my leave since I really had no business in here," Erwin waved, taking a step outside. "I'm glad Hange has made the couch cozy for you."

—

Anger. Is that what you should've felt from his words? Anger at his inner sneer, his subtle taunts, or perhaps anger at the truth that you have been so compliant to Hange's wishes. You've become too trusting, yielding with no questions asked to their words and touch. You've doubted their intentions to a certain degree but never acted upon that thought because no matter how much you denied the truth to yourself, Hange has already warmed your heart to let them in. You've fallen to whatever deception they have in mind. 

Your eyes pierced nothingness as you gripped the weapon right in your hands. Your thoughts crawled into your limbs, letting them think for you as the door opened once more. Hange was caught off guard as you pounced into them, knocking them on the floor and your thighs straddling their torso. A gasp escaped their lips as they felt all your weight pressing them down the ground, the shiv you were previously holding pointed perilously at the vein of their neck. Hange couldn't ask what brought them on your grip or even scan your face as your hair fell over your face. However, your tight and almost desperate grip on their collar became enough to subdue the questions flooding their mind. 

"Y/N?" Hange asked, eyes chasing yours for an explanation, an emotion to be understood. 

"You'll have to answer my questions or else," your voice was low and rough, Hange wondered if you'd cried or what had angered you so much to lose that calm voice they're familiar with. 

"I see you've made a shiv. Quite efficient of you. I didn't even notice," Hange remarked, trying to smile and ease themself down. Their palm rested on your thigh upon instinct, but the shiv only brought its tip closer to the flesh of their throat. 

"What do you truly want from me?" you muttered, voice threatening to break.

"Could you elaborate on that?" Hange asked as a slight confusion passed over their eyes. 

"You know damn well what I'm talking about." When you responded, Hange sensed your frustration, drawing a taut line only to be ripped out. 

What do you want from me? Hange thought over your question, their mind ramming one response they couldn't utter. They want to brush the hair off your face, alleviate the distrust forming around your relationship, or just hold your hand if you will let them. Hange threw their head back to the floor, lying on their bundled hair like spilled brown ink. 

"I want what every researcher wants, Y/N," Hange spoke softly. "Results."

"Sure, yes. Results from the experiments. Then retrieve the Female titan from me. That's it? I'm sure you won't stop on that." 

"You know I shouldn't tell you about that, right?" 

"And you know I can kill you right now if I wanted to," you shot back, your glowering eyes boring through them.

"I know, sweetie. You're aiming to puncture a major artery right there by the looks of it." Hange smiled softly in surrender, their other hand lying by their side as the other never left your thigh. Their body was too relaxed under you. Too submitting, too comfortable in knowing that you wouldn't hurt them. It only boiled you up inside, tempted to leave a crude mark on their neck just to make a point.  But you only let go of their collar, the tip of your shiv drawing in an unthreatening stance on their clothed chest. 

"I hate you," you muttered. 

"Listen to me, Y/N." Hange clasped your hand but you only pulled it away from them. 

"Why would you do this?" 

"Do what?" Hange mumbled to themself but retracted almost immediately as they glimpsed your eyes for the first time. It wasn't anger or violence they'd read, but a pure wounded look that pricked their heart. Hange knew you were questioning the motive behind every touch, every kiss, and every pleasure you've shared since that moment they had you. You might have thought yourself a prey, lured into the trap of those lovely brown eyes, of that teasing smile, and of their loving touch. Hange sat up against your softening grip. 

"Listen to me first," they whispered, clasping both of your hands near their chest. "You see, I didn't plan beyond experimenting on you. But I have a vague idea of what I want to do." 

Their eyes did not waver behind those glasses as they spoke. "This may cost me my license or, hell, even my neck. But... I'm not planning to take the Female titan from you."

Their statement came as a surprise, your mind running around the possibilities of what could that mean but found none you could accept to be true. 

"What...?" 

Hange smiled softly. "You know what I mean, Y/N. I want you to join my side."

Betrayal. Betray Eldia. Forget we're enemies and be with me, their words translated themselves on your head, etching a frown on your face. 

"What... What makes you think I'll follow along those plans?"

"I'm not expecting you to," Hange sighed, relaxing on where they sat and no longer restraining your hand gripping the shiv. "Of course, you will never let yourself become a weapon against your own kind. But that's not what I have in mind.

"I know it would be difficult for you to believe me again but I need your trust this time. I don't have a clear vision of what will become of us but know that in the future I envision, it would be just you and me. No war or another bloody clash between Marley and Eldia," Hange sighed, letting go of you as they stood up, eyes locked on yours. "I never planned to kill you the moment you stepped in here, Y/N. Trust me and I'll tell you everything."

Trust. The word played in your mind once more, repeating itself in various tones of inquiry and mockery. Hadn't you become too trusting and reprimanded with a cruel hand right after? The harsh scars and claws on your insides writhed, sending your mind back to your roots to decide for you. You're not just the Female titan or an Eldian soldier, you are Y/N, ingrained with a will and desire of your own. 

"Fine," you muttered, pulling the collection of makeshift weapons you hid on yourself, even a small prized weapon on your ring finger. Your stern, stone-cold eyes met Hange's as you placed the dangerous collection in a neat line on the center table. "I'm trusting you."

You sat back on the couch with transparent intentions this time, the sinister thought of regret shoved at the back of your mind as you spoke. 

"Now tell me everything.” 

likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated, sweethearts <3

[mirage-aera]

Hi, I’m new here! I’m not sure if requests are open or if you’re currently writing for ghost, but could we have a scenario where there is a new female ghoul and they’re trying to figure out where they fit in the hierarchy. She’s bratty and challenges sodo, but he’s having none of it and it gets a bit smutty/suggestive and has her submitting. Thank you and my apologies if you don’t write anything like this!

Hello there! They are open, so thank you for the request. I am also terribly sorry for the very long wait. I have been having trouble with my writing motivation but it's back!

•°. *࿐ Rocky start

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Take Me Back To Eden - Sleep Token

Sodo x fem!reader

The new ghoulette challenges Sodo, he’s not amused in the slightest.

Word count: 1.590

Ghost masterlist

It’s been a while since you’ve been summoned to the top. You were summoned to replace Aether for the upcoming tour while he stays back to help around the clergy. Copia and the other ghouls and ghoulettes have noticed that you are having a harder time adjusting to the surface than previous ghouls. For a quintessence ghoulette, you’re a bit more snappy than usual. As days go by, some ghoul’s patience is running thin. That certain ghoul is Sodo. There isn’t a time of day when you two aren’t arguing. To their confusion, you are a lot more agitated around Sodo than the others. Yes, you have your moments with the others but it’s never as bad as it is when you’re around the fire ghoul. Sodo has noticed it too and isn’t too thrilled, to say the least.

You’re in the practice room with the rest of the band, rehearsing for the upcoming shows. Currently, you are on a short break so everyone is conversing or playing something random. Sodo is trying to fix his solo since he kept messing it up previously during the rehearsal. You, wanting to annoy him a little bit, decide to play the solo as well but add your little twist. As he's nearing the solo you start getting ready and crank your amp up. You both start playing, at first he doesn't notice but as he messes up again, he growls and throws his pick across the room. You, however, continue playing. You finish his solo perfectly. You place your guitar down and give him a sly smirk, "wanna try again, Sodo?" Some snickers could be heard throughout the room. He snarls and flips you off, "yeah yeah, whatever." Just as you open your mouth to say something Copia pipes up, "Alright, ghouls and ghoulettes. From the top!"

***

As the rehearsal goes on. Everyone within the room can tell how fired up Sodo is. At least, more than usual. He plays with a lot more passion, aggression, and spirit. At some point during the rehearsal, you were going to match or top his attitude to get a rise out of him, but the look that Copia gives you says enough. It’s like he’s saying, ‘Don’t aggravate him further.’ And for once, you pull back a little on your playing and continue as if there isn’t tension in the room. An early practice already sets off the fire ghoul and topping it with your attitude isn’t the ideal morning for the said ghoul.

You can see from the corner of your eye that he’s fiddling with his pedals. His guitar and pedals have been giving issues as of late, during practice and the rituals. “Fuck!! Stupid thing won’t work!” He shouts out with frustration. He fiddles with it once more before giving up and throwing his pick at it. “Maybe if you stop throwing shit at it, it would work.” You mumble out. He hears it and snaps his head to you, “what did you just say?” he asks in a low tone. “I said, maybe if you stop throwing shit and kicking at it, it would work.” He glares at you, “maybe if you mind your own business I can get it to work.” He retaliates. Copia sighs, “(Y/n), take over his parts until he fixes it. We don't have time for this.” You nod and smile triumphantly at Sodo. “Oh! Of course, she gets my parts! What a fucking joke.” Copia gives him a pointed look, “Sodo if you need a minute to cool off, feel free to do it outside of this room.” He takes of the strap of his guitar and holds the guitar by its neck and storms off, “fine!! You don't need me anyway! Do this stupid rehearsal without me!” and with that he slams the door behind him closed. Looks are exchanged with each other throughout the room.

“Should one of us talk to him?”

“He won't set the clergy on fire, right?”

“Maybe one of us should go after him, to calm him down.”

“I can go.” You propose to the group. Swiss chuckles, “no offense, he hates you the most. You'll just set him off more.” Copa sighs and pinches his nose bridge, “no one needs to go after him. He’ll calm down on his own. And no, he won't set the clergy on fire. He has enough self-control. Okay from the top now, 5, 6, 7, 8.” You all look at each other and shrug. Deciding to trust his judgment you continue playing, without Sodo.

***

You can't help but dwell on Swiss’ words the whole morning. ‘He hates you the most.’ It hurts to think about it. ‘Does he actually hate you?’ you ask yourself. You hope not, you actually like him a bit, even if it doesn't look like it. You walk mindlessly through the halls of the clergy, some halls you haven’t even seen before. Eventually, you reach the gardens. You decide to spend a couple of hours there. You look around the scenery. It is well kept by the earth ghouls. You spot Mountain among them, you smile and give him a subtle wave. He notices and smiles and waves back. You see a tree near the pond where the water ghouls like to spend their time, especially during the warm summer heat. You take a seat at the base of the tree and watch the handful of water ghouls swim around, splash around, and relaxing. You look around some more and you see the air ghouls playing around with the kits. And the fire ghouls... well they are being typical fire ghouls. Messing around with the other ghouls and goofing off. Even the few multie ghouls that the clergy has are scattered about. They’re spending time with the other elements. But you see no quintessence ghouls. What are their roles? What is your role in the clergy? Eventually, the sun sets and the ghouls are heading back inside. You, however, decide to take in the serenity of the garden while you can.

You spend how many minutes before Aether walks up to you. You look up at him and give him a questioning look. “I thought I'd find you here. Come inside, before they start eating your dinner.” You nod and take his hand that he outstretched for you. He pulls you up and leads you inside.

“Aether?” he hums in acknowledgment. “What do we quintessence ghouls do? All the other elements are outside doing different stuff.” He chuckles, “is this why you are bothering Sodo so much? He's your mate, isn't he?” You slap him on the arm, to which he laughs at. You're only proving his point. “Well, we help out the papa’s if they need it. We also occasionally help out Sister Imperator and the other sisters and brothers. A simple job really, not much to it if I do say so myself.” You thank him, and before you know it you're at the dinner table. You sit across from Sodo, who's picking at his food. All the other ghouls and ghoulettes at the table have already finished if not, almost finished with their food. Sodo usually finishes by now. You put your knife and fork down, “Sodo?” He raises a brow, acknowledging you but not saying a word. “I’m sorry about earlier during rehearsals, and for the earlier weeks. I have been giving you a hard time for no reason.” Sodo grunts before standing up and stalking over towards you. He wraps his hand around your arm and pulls you up from your chair. Aether looks at you to ask if you need him to intervene. You shake your head, wanting to see what Sodo wants. He drags you out of the mess hall. He walks over to his room and nearly throws you inside. He pins you to the wall and gets close to you, so close that you can feel him heavily breathing. “You know we are mates, correct?” He asks you. You nod timidly, clearly having lost your tongue. “Then why have you been giving me a hard time the whole fucking time since you have arrived here?! You have been nothing but rude to me, insulting me, trying to put me down. I can't even hate you for it, because I love you too much.” You raise a brow, “you love me? Even after all of that?” He nods, “when you have a mate, you just want to be close with them, love them. But you make it so fucking difficult. Why have you been doing this?”

You sigh, “I don't know.” He looks at you incredulously, “you don't know?” He repeats. You hesitate before continuing, “I loved you, I still do. I just didn't know where I belonged. I was confused, angry, and upset for being suddenly summoned, expected to know everything and take over Aether’s position so soon. And I took it out on you, I realize it was wrong of me to do so. I'm sorry Sodo.” He loosens his hold on you, “you could've just said so. We would've helped you. I would've helped you. All you needed to do was ask.” You hang your head low, ashamed of your actions. He lifts your chin up with his finger, “but I forgive you. We are mates after all. We can't be separated.”

You give him a look, “does this mean?…” you trail off. He chuckles, “I'm yours, and you are mine. At last.” You smile brightly, “I like the sound of that. You're mine, and I'm yours.”

[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 2 Part 8

Time for another WIP Wednesday! Hope you enjoy.

Story Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

First, Previous

Word Count: 1.3k

-----

Bart grinned. “Well, we’ll just have to take those odds! So, now that we’ve got the basics down, we’re going out there to help, right?”

Sam snorted. “Not like we could keep Danny out of it if we tried. But you guys don’t have to. You can just go to bed.”

Danny sighed. “School tomorrow is gonna suck.”

Tim shook his head. “Aren’t you gonna call out?”

“No?” replied Danny. “How could I? Mom and Dad would never let me call out just because of some ghosts and they won’t know I’ll have been out all night.”

“Would they even notice if you call yourself out? Or ask Jazz to do it?”

Danny snorted. “School is about the only thing they notice. Look, I’ll be fine. I’ll fall asleep in English. Probably get another detention. I’ve A plusses in algebra and chemistry, so those teachers don’t care when I fall asleep. I’m a known slacker in gym. History is after lunch, so I’ll be able to stay awake for that. I’ve got this. It’ll be fine.”

“Danny…” And here Tim had thought his schooling was a disaster.

“Don’t, Tim. Now,” Danny forced his voice to be more cheerful as he changed the subject, “if you’re all joining me, we’ve got three thermoses. I get one. The rest of you can fight over the other two.”

Tim waved his hand. “I want one!”

Tucker sat down on the floor. “I’m out. Unlike someone, I need to sleep before class in—” he checked his PDA “—seven hours.”

Sam let out a yawn. “Yeah, I’m with Tuck on this one. We’re taking your bed, Danny. When was the last time you changed your sheets?”

Danny shrugged. “Dunno. I think Jazz got to them last week. Or was that the week before?”

“Right. We know where the spares are. Come on, Tuck.”

“Wait, if you’re staying here," said Danny, "any chance you can fix up Cassie, Bart, and Conner’s phone before you go to bed?”

Tucker shrugged. “Sure. Should be able to do at least two of them. You haven’t moved any of the tools, have you?”

“Left some of them out on the desk, but they’re there.”

“All right. Everyone! Pass me your phones. I’ll get at least two of them working tonight.”

Conner passed his over, but said, “Focus on Cassie’s and Bart’s. They’ve more people who will be worried about them and I’ve no doubt Bruce told Clark where I am and he has Tim’s number.”

“Will do!”

Bart handed his over. “Thanks, dude. You really don’t have to if it’s too much trouble.”

“Nah. After how much Danny and I messed with ecto-contaminating electronics, I could do this in my sleep.”

Sam snorted. “Well, if you don’t get started, you’ll be putting that claim to the test. Come on, tech boy. Let’s get going.”

“Sleep well!” Cassie called out after them.

“Don’t let the ghosts bite,” added Danny.

Sam huffed a laugh in a way that told Tim she’d heard the joke more than a few times before. Tucker didn’t even react and just kept walking.

“So…” started Conner once they were alone, “should we suit up?”

Danny hesitated. “If you do, Sam and Tuck will know your identities.”

Everyone looked to Tim. He chewed his lip. On the one hand, Sam and Tucker had known and kept Danny’s secret for months. But they did tend to get in arguments and make problems worse based on storied Danny had shared. But his friends had bonded rather quickly with the Amity trio and Conner, at least, definitely needed more friends their age.

“Our goals for tonight are evacuation and limiting property damage. Ambulances still can’t get into the downtown area and victims can’t escape. They’ll trust us more if we’re in costume. And at the end of the day, people’s safety is the most important. Danny, can you promise me Sam and Tucker can keep our secrets.”

“I promise, Tim. They’ll keep it as well, no better, than mine.”

Tim really hoped he was making the right choice even as he nodded. “Then let’s suit up. Where can we do that unseen?”

“Oh, that part’s easy!” said Danny. “You can change in the spare bedroom and I’ll just fly you all out invisibly and drop you off downtown.”

“Can you carry all of us?” asked Tim. “Have you ever tested your super strength?”

“Kon and I can fly ourselves,” added Cassie. “What do you need to transfer your invisibility?”

“Indirect contact should be fine. So I can carry Tim and Bart and if you each hold hands with one of them, it should work.”

“I don’t like ‘shoulds,’” said Tim. ���Let’s test it.”

“Fair enough.” Danny moved until he was standing between Tim and Bart and wrapped an arm around each of them before lifting them into the air.

“Holy shit,” whispered Bart.

Tim couldn’t help but agree. He’d flown many times with Conner or Cassie or even Clark. But it never felt like this. The pull of gravity was always present and something he could feel. Yet with Danny? There was no gravity. Being in the air felt as normal as being on the ground. And Danny’s arm around his chest was warm and solid.

“What?” asked Danny. “Haven’t you flown with one of your teammates before?”

Tim couldn’t hold back a laugh. This was amazing. “Their flight doesn’t entirely cancel out gravity like yours does. Can we go out for fun before we leave? This is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced.”

“Sure thing, Secrets. Whatever you want.”

“Thanks, Polaris.” The news report still playing on the computer brought him back to the present. “But that’s a discussion for later. Sorry for getting distracted. Kon? Cassie? Grab our hands. Let’s see if this works.”

Turned out that not only could Danny make them all invisible and intangible, but his anti-gravity style flight would apply to everyone as well. Apparently flight wasn’t something that required super strength and Tim was definitely updating Danny’s power profile because this was unbelievable. He wanted to run so many tests.

It took five minutes to strip out of their protective gear and turn off the computer, then another ten to change into costume. Most of their bags had been stored in the guest room already.

During that time, Bart claimed the last thermos and they split into teams of two. Robin and Superboy would help ambulances and emergency vehicles get in and out of downtown safely and Impulse and Wonder Girl would help evacuation downtown. Phantom would stay downtown and try to figure out if the portals could be closed preventing more ghosts from crossing over.

Danny went back to his room to grab earpieces that could be used as communicators and ask Sam to turn the ghost shield back on in five minutes, then they were flying back to the scene of the attack.

It felt so much better to be back in costume and ready to do something. Though he was definitely going to have to ask Danny for the specs to the ghost weapons. Next time he came to visit, they’d be in Robin’s colors.

The chaos in the downtown area had gotten much worse in the time they’d been gone sorting out weaponry and plans. Most businesses sported broken windows and cars were overturned on the street. Half the people appeared to be overshadowed and the other half were cowering and hiding.

Danny set them down carefully and Bart immediately disappeared to find those who were trapped.

“I’ll go check out the portal and let you know what I find.”

“Very good, Phantom. We’ll do what we can on the ground. If you see something that needs our attention, let us know.”

Danny gave him a salute. “Will do, Robin.”

“All right, you two ready?”

“Always,” said Conner.

“We’ve faced worse odds,” added Cassie.

“Then let’s get going.” This was going to be a very long night.

-----

Next

Hope you enjoyed! The plot is moving forward slowly but surely. We're still only in the first, like, 3 minutes of the DP episode, so yeah. I may have to speed some things up. I'm just bad at that.

This will be the last week I tag people for updates to this story. There's three reasons for that. Tumblr is making it more difficult to tag users and splitting the list over two posts is kinda a pain. Many people I tag don't seem to interact with the post and I don't know if everyone is still interested in following this story. And I'm nervous about being shadow banned since that's happened to at least one writer in this fandom as I'm sure we all know by now.

So! I've set up a subscription post. Follow the link and set up notifications and I'll make a comment every time I update. That way only those who still want notifications will get them and you can change your mind whenever you want.

Tag List Part 1

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[lowaltitude]

Oblivious | Spencer Reid

- Criminal Minds - x Reader, Rossi’s daughter. (Y/N Baker-Rossi)

❪ FEM! ❫ ❪ adult aroace virgin attempts to write smut Altitude

───── ❝ description + disclaimer ❞ ─────

𖥻 Spencer Reid x AFAB+FEM!reader, in which SSA Dr Spencer Reid is dating his coworker. OR in which SSA David Rossi’s daughter is has been sneaking around with the smartest man in the FBI for months.

𖥻 established relationships. Not directly connected to Criminal Minds series timeline but an estimated place in the timeline around season 5. 8.2k words

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

───── ❝ backstory ❞ ─────

Carolyn Baker-Rossi, first wife of SSA David Rossi. After the loss of their son James, the couple began to drift apart and eventually filed for divorce after a case made him miss their anniversary in 1983 and he came home in time to see Carolyn packing his things.  A few months later, and with no complications, a daughter was born. Y/N Baker-Rossi.

Y/N was always a gifted student, deciding when she was 7 that she wanted to “catch the boogie monsters that daddy does” and following through.  Eventually, a few book releases and divorces later, Rossi’s 22 year old daughter completed her degree, resulting Rossi using his connections to get her allowed into the BAU as a liaison.

Y/N was spending 85% of her time at the BAU following around Penelope Garcia, 10% getting everyone coffee, and the other 5% staring at Dr Spencer Reid. The boy genius who joined the BAU 2 years prior as a Supervisory Special Agent.

2 years passed and Y/N— Agent Baker, affectionately nicknamed ‘Cupcake’ by Derek Morgan— was promoted, officially joining the team. And although she loved him, she refused to use her father’s last name while at work.

───── ❝ Oblivious ❞ ─────

Rossi‘s chair scraped along the floor as he pulled it out, and I groaned. Morgan called and woke me up at 6am, how much more murdering could happen if we waited just 1 more hour?

I wasn’t angry, but It was my first official case. I was no longer a liaison I was an SSA. My seat at the table meant something, but I didn’t expect them to drag me into work while it was still dark outside.

“Wheels up in 30” Hotch said, ending the briefing and giving us time to get what we needed from our desks.

Spencer was sat across from me like always, his hair messy and shirt collar a little messed up, and he pushed his chair out from the table before getting up.

I walked behind him as he went to his desk, and I went to mine. “Rough night?” I yawned.

“No, no. I’m fine.” Reid put his bag over his shoulder, rubbing his eye with the back of his hand.

I hummed in response and walked up to him, noticing that he tensed up as I got close to him. I put my hands on his collar, fixing it and his tie as he just watched me with his lips slightly parted.

“Uh, New collared shirts often come with stiff collars; however, after a number of washes and wears, the material that keep the collar stiff begins to soften, causing the shirt collar to lose its shape.” I nodded, enjoying the seemingly pointless information that he would often share. Everyone had left, the space around us now empty. “This leads to shirt collars curling and folding.”

When I was done, I went to step back and gave him some space, but Reid put a hand on my waist stopping me.

“Are you aware of how hard it is to avoid touching you while we’re at work?”

“You’re touching me now”

“But i’m stopping myself from… More”

“Nobody’s around” I kept my voice no more than a whisper, putting my hand on Reid’s chest and pushing myself up to reach him. 

“Ready to go, Cupcake?” Morgan entered, back over his shoulder and eyes down as he looked at his phone. Reid and I jumped away from each other before Morgan had the chance to look up and tuck his phone in his back pocket. “Kid?”

Both of us nodded and he turned towards the doors, Reid following a few steps behind him. I slung my bag over my shoulder, jogging to catch up.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

“How was your first case?” Garcia asked, rushing towards me with an open container of cookies in her hands as we entered the BAU. Returning from the long trip to Florida.

“I might be a little traumatised but that’s part of the job” I looked in the plastic container, happily taking one and almost melting at how good the warm cookie was.

Morgan patted my shoulder as he stopped beside me, swiftly taking a cookie and earning a shocked gasp from Garcia.

“Those are not for you”

“Thanks, baby girl” He smiled. “You look like you need a drink after that.”

“I do, I really do” I sighed wiping the cookie crumbs on my pants. “Garcia?”

She nodded enthusiastically, putting the lid on the container. “Yes.”

“Drinks?” Morgan asked the other members of the team, clapping his hands together. He earned a few responses as the team packed the extra things from their desks.

The team conversed as they left the building, leaving Garcia, my dad and I a little behind.

“You did real good, kid. Make sure you call your mum later”

“Got it.” I nodded, watching him hurry to catch up with Hotch.

“So…” Garcia started.

I shook my head at her. “Don’t” Garcia and I had spent so much time together over the past few years that she was practically my sister at this point.

She claimed knew about my crush on Reid before I did, noting that ‘22 year old Y/N came in to see her dad and immediately took notice of the 24 year old who’d just joined the team.’ But i’d managed to keep it from her that we had progressed our relationship.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

With my FBI visitor pass— Which honestly seemed like a bad idea in retrospect, I walked into the bullpen and was barely noticed. Agents passing by without so much as a quick glance in my direction.

I spotted my Dad in a glass office, along with Hotch, and who I know knew was Garcia. He waved my direction, Hotch doing his best to smile at me before going back to their conversation.

Walking further into the room, I narrowly dodged someone with their head down looking at an open file as the walked and bumped into someone’s desk.

“Oh shit, i’m sorry” I muttered, the boy at his desk seemed barely older than I was.

“No, it’s perfectly fine. Young adults fall more frequently than expected, most falls even occur during everyday activities such walking and talking.” The boy looked up from the open book and papers scattered on his desk and It felt like I got slapped in the face by emotions that made no sense.

I couldn’t think of anything to say, I just forced my mouth closed so I could stop gawking at him. “Totally”

“Uh…” He stared at me for a second before quickly blinking a few times. “Each— Each year slips, trips and falls cause thousands of preventable injuries. In most cases, people trip on low obstacles that are hard to spot.”

I laughed, not really understanding what the boy was rambling about. Just nodding and smiling like a fool.

“Y/N” Hotch called my name, I turned to face the 2 men and the blonde. “Hey, I see you’ve met our newest SSA.”

“You’re an agent? I wouldn’t have guessed” I gave the boy another once over.

“Boy genius.” Rossi sighed “IQ of 180, photographic memory—”

“187, actually, and I have an eidetic memory. Eidetic memory refers to the ability to retain visual information with extreme precision while in contrast, photographic memory refers to the ability to remember everything in a scene, not just the visual elements.” The boy pushed his chair back from his desk, playing with the pen in his hand.

Woah.

Hotch cleared his throat. “Y/N Baker-Rossi, this is our technical analyst Penelope Garcia , and doctor Spencer Reid.”

“Baker-Rossi? As in, you, Rossi?” Garcia’s eyes widened, looking between us quickly.

“Yes.” I laughed. “From his first marriage.”

“Wow, I didn’t even know you had spawn. It’s great to meet you”

Rossi put his hand on my shoulder, taking my bag from my hands. “She’s actually here to see you, Garcia.”

“Me?”

“Y/N just completed her advanced degree in behavioral science, and while her application is pending I got permission for her to be a temporary liaison, somewhat of an assistant for you”

“Oh, assistant wow. Yes, yes. Come my child, I will be your seeing eye dog for the BAU.” Penelope linked my arm, taking the bag from my fathers hands and wishing me away. Hotch and Rossi already making their way back to the office.

I was flabbergasted to say the least, looking around as Garcia began to explain her position here. I looked back at the boy sitting at his desk and smiled. “Uh, bye Spencer”

“Yeah— Yeah, bye Y/N.” He spun his chair, watching Garcia and I as we disappeared down the hall.

When he was gone from sight, I took a deep breath. Spencer Reid.

When he spoke there was something eerily calming and familiar about him. Something in the pit of my stomach told me that this guy was special. Special in different way than being a young genius working for the FBI.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

As we entered the bar and found somewhere to sit, JJ and I sat beside each other so she could show me pictures of her son, Henry, on her phone. Spencer at the other end of the table across from Garcia.

I finished my drink and sighed, moving away from the table taking my glass with me to the bar. Rossi passing me his empty glass with a smile as he engaged in conversation with Morgan.

“Hey” I tiredly smiled at the bartender “Can I just get another Vodka and Coke, and 3 fingers of Whiskey please.”

The bartender got to work on the drinks and I found ed my attention on my shoes.

“Y/N?” I looked up at the person calling my name. “Oh my god, it is you.” I stared at the man in utter confusion as he walked up to me, leaving his friends chatting at their table behind him. “George. We went to High School together.”

“Whoa, George Maddison?” It finally clicked, he chuckled, nodding that it was in fact him. He was a handsome sight but in my memory I can still see him wearing his Harry Potter-esque glasses in his brown coat and black beanie.

“You look amazing. And I heard you work for the FBI now, isn’t that what your dad did?”

“Thank you, I really don’t feel amazing right now so it’s much appreciated.” I laughed, thanking the bartender as he put the drinks on the counter for me. “My dad actually still works for the BAU, he’s right over there. The team is just celebrating my first case.”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

“Spence” Garcia whispered, the boy practically grunting in response. “You’re going to burn a hole in the back of her head if you don’t stop staring.”

“I’m not staring” Reid snapped his attention to Garcia, keeping his voice low to avoid drawing attention from the other agents. He was staring, and he knew it. But of course he was there was someone else talking to Y/N, and he knew that when men go to a bar, they are typically looking for a good time, to catch a buzz, to let off steam, and maybe find someone to take home for a one night stand.

Garcia hummed, finishing the rest of her cocktail and pushing the glass towards Reid. “Here. Get me another, there’s your excuse to go interrupt.”

“Why would I interrupt, I’m sure Y/N is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. She’s a highly trained federal agent and although studies suggest drink spiking may be more widespread than previously believed, on average—”

Garcia wasn’t listening, instead looking across the crowded bar at the tall blonde making Y/N smile. “He’s like Derek Morgan levels of hotness.” She muttered, Reid immediately shutting his mouth.

After a moment of silent contemplation, the 26 year old took Garcia’s empty glass and walked to the bar. Swallowing the lump in his throat and leaving Garcia smiling to herself as she thought about adding ‘Matchmaker’ to her resume.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

“Another one of… Whatever this is” I heard Spencer’s voice behind me and turned my head to look at him.

“Hey” I smiled, my heart almost skipping a beat at the sight of my coworker.

Reid licked his lips quickly before smiling back at me. “Hey, sorry to interrupt.”

“Not a problem”

“Hi” George stuck his hand out for the lanky brunette to shake. “I’m George”

Spencer ignored his offer and instead chose to just nod at him in acknowledgment. “SSA, Dr Spencer Reid. Do— Do you two know each other?”

“Yeah, High School. We even dated for a while.”

“I wouldn’t really call going to the mall and a few kisses during spin the bottle ‘dating’.” I awkwardly laughed, swirling the straw around in my drink.

“Dating is a term coined in America to signify that stage of romantic relationships in which two individuals engage in an activity together, most often with the intention of evaluating each other's suitability as a partner in a future intimate relationship. Most couples go on 5 to 6 dates before discussing a relationship, and some take even longer.”

George momentarily seemed frozen, letting Reid’s words sink in. “See! We were dating, and I guess technically we never broke up. Thanks dude.”

“Uh, you’re welcome, dude”

I laughed at how unnatural it seemed for Spencer to say ‘dude’. My smile even beginning to hurt my cheeks. He turned to the bartender, taking the drink they had just put down and I raised an eyebrow at him.

“What the hell are you drinking?”

“This is Garcia’s actually, she wanted me to come get it for her.”

“Oh” He didn’t want to come be my knight in shining armour, rescuing me from the mystery man that could swoop me away from him.

“What is taking the two of you so long?” Rossi asked, reaching past me to grab his drink from the bar. “You’re young, aren’t you meant to be fast? Don’t answer that Reid it wasn’t a real question”

Spencer shut his mouth quickly. Rossi sipping his drink and noticing George standing with a smile on his face.

“Mr Rossi” He put his hand out to shake again. “How are you?”

“Have we met?”

“No” I answered, I didn’t want to hear another remark about us ‘technically’ never having broken up. “We did a play together in High School but, you were on a case.”

“I’m sure you want to get back to celebrating, but i’d really like to see you again Y/N.”

I raised an eyebrow at the blonde “You would?”

“Really?” Rossi and Reid said almost simultaneously.

“Definitely. Can I have your number?”

“Uh” I thought for a minute, I didn’t want to give some guy at a bar my number and lead him on in front of my boyfriend. But on the other hand my dad was standing right there. “This job doesn’t give me a lot of time to myself.”

“I’m sure you’ll work something out” Rossi smiled, gesturing for me to put my number into his contacts. Reid’s eyes widened and for self preservation he turned and went back to the table.

“Okay.” I forced a smile, keying in my number and passing the phone back him.

George left, my dad and I waving as I went back to the table and I took my seat beside JJ again. Sipping my drink and raising an eyebrow at the stares I was receiving. “What?”

“Who was that?” Emily asked, a slightly suggestive look on her face.

“Just someone from high school.”

Rossi hummed, looking over to where George was laughing with his friends

“He’s cute” JJ commented

“Yeah.” Reid said, catching my attention. “Dude seems great”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

We were lucky to have 2 days off before being sent on our next case, Reid and I sitting beside one another on the plane and enjoying what little intimacy we could have on the trip; Our arms touching on the arm rest.

The jet ride consisted of Rossi making popcorn, me and Morgan trying to sleep, Garcia calling us with more information and everyone doing their own thing.

As we left the airport terminal, Reid walked a few steps ahead of me, and I watched as the wind blew his hair into his face. The boy stopping and looking at me when my phone started to ring.

“Hello…?” I said cautiously

“Hey! Y/N, it’s George”

“Oh, hi. I didn’t actually expect you to call this soon, isn’t there some men’s unspoken rule to wait 3 days?”

“I’m just really excited to talk to you I guess.”

“I actually can’t talk, we just landed in North Carolina for a case.”

“Already? Wow, serial killers work fast.” He laughed on the other end of the line. “I’ll call you back some other time then”

My phone beeped and I took a second to look at it before putting the cell back to my ear “That would be great. I have to go, work call.” I hung up, not hearing whatever he tried to say before I cut him off and answering the other call. “Garcia?”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Hotch had split us up for the case, him, Prentiss and Rossi at the latest crime scene. JJ and Morgan at the house interviewing the family. Leaving Reid and I at the police precinct trying to find the MO, and looking for potential UnSubs.

Reid and I were professional, apart from lingering when our hands touched and the occasional longing stare. But we made it through the case without a hitch, and as soon as Morgan called to tell us they’d caught the guy we began to pack our things.

“I think it was pretty, uh, pretty hot how you worked out that the UnSub was taunting the victims.”

I scoffed, putting the photos from the whiteboard into a manila folder. “Replicating murders from famous movies isn’t that difficult to realise”

“There’s a number of generally agreed elements comprising popular culture. These aspects are often subject to rapid change, due to omnipresent media. It encompasses the most immediate and contemporary aspects of our lives.” He paused for a second to breathe and I leaned against the table to look at him. “Considering my circumvention for most aspects of modern technology or media, I show a fair amount animosity against popular culture, the likelihood that I would have figured that MO is only about 3%”

“I’m taking this as I need to educate you on horror movies”

“I’m well educated on classic horror films. In fact, I think my favourite would be Anita. The 1920 Austrian film that depicts a societal lady trapped under the spell of an unskilled hypnotist.”

“Have you ever watched anything that wasn’t a foreign black and white silent film?”

The door to the precinct briefing room opened before Reid could respond. The team walking in, exhausted from working without a moments peace.

Hotch put his phone down on the table. “Unfortunately theres thunderstorms coming in and we won’t be able to get a flight out until some time tomorrow. Garcia’s booked us into a hotel in the meantime, we can all hopefully get a good nights rest”

“I doubt that.” Emily said, a disgusted look on her face as she pushed the picture from one of the crime scenes across the table away from her. “This one was some real nightmare fuel.”

The photo made my stomach turn as well, a recreation of a scene from 1976 film The Omen. The victims face sewn into a Joker-esque smile and hung from the room of her house.

I quickly put the photo in the envelope and closed it so i’d never have to see it again.

“That gives you some time to call George.” Rossi smiled, helping pack up what was left scattered across the table.

“Dad” I groaned, earning a puzzled look from the officers nearby. Morgan and JJ chuckled at my annoyance I shot them both a glare.

“Reid, tell her she should be putting herself out there. I want grandkids eventually”

Spencer choked on air, his eyes wide as he tried to stop coughing and everyone looked at him in concern.

“Are you okay?” Emily asked, Reid nodding and putting his hand up to stop anyone from helping him.

“Um” He finally caught his breath. “Single men are far more likely than single women to be looking for a relationship or dates – around 61% compared to 38%. While looking both men and women report equal levels of dissatisfaction with their dating lives and the ease of finding people to date, women are more likely to say they have had some particularly negative experiences.“

Rossi stared at him for a moment, dissatisfied with his response. “Don’t listen to him. Call the boy.”

I rolled my eyes and Rossi picked up the case files, heading out of the precinct with the rest of the team and leaving Reid and I behind.

“That was… Uncomfortable” I laughed, combing a hand through my hair and picking up my bag.

“I was actually thinking how we could possibly utilise this whole George situation.” 

“Yeah?”

Reid put his hands either side of me, pinning me against the table and putting his face a few inches away from mine. “You can tell Rossi you’re going out with him and then we’ll actually be able to spend some time together”

“And after a few ‘dates’ with George, or multiple nights where I don’t come home, how do you suppose he’ll react if I don’t start bringing George around as my boyfriend?”

“Just a few dates, not enough to be considered a relationship but enough so he’ll believe you’re trying.”

I hummed in response, my lips just about to press against Reid’s— The feeling i’d craved for the past 3 days that we’d been running around on this case—

“Agents?” One of the local officers stood in the doorway, Reid taking a large step back with his bright red face. “Sorry to interrupt, but Agent Hotchner is waiting outside.”

Clearing my throat and smiling, I moved off the table. “Thanks.”

She smiled briefly, taking one step away before turning back. “You two are a really cute couple.”

Reid put his bag on his shoulder, looking down to try and hide the smile on his face. “Thank you.”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Completely exhausted from the case, I didn’t even bother to change once I’d walked into my hotel room. Instead just collapsed face first on the the plush bed, the TV on at a low volume and the heavy rainfall outside lulling me to sleep.

Of course, as my mind finally went blank and eyes fluttered shut, a knock came at my door and I had to force myself up.

“Reid?” I muttered, the boy standing in the hall rocking back and forth on his heels. And nodding at me as I opened the door, eh just stepped inside and closed it behind him.

“I need you”

“Couldn’t it wait? I’m so tired.” He titled his head slightly to the side, a tuft of hair sliding down his forehead and breaking me. “Fine, what is it? Chemistry? Math? Missing sock?”

“No, no.”

“Then what?”

“I need you.”

I sighed, a ghost of a smile playing on my lips. “Spencer”

“Don’t say my name like that if you’re going to say no and send me away” His voice was so soft, breathy and faint. It set goosebumps up my arms.

Hotch’s room was beside mine, at least when Spencer snuck into my bedroom he had no chance of running in to Rossi since it was on the entirety opposite side of the house. I reached for the door handle, intent on sending Reid away, it wasn’t worth the risk even if I really wanted him right now too.

My arm brushed against his warm skin and I looked up at him, eyes locking on one other and drowning out everything around me.

I find life seldom follows the plans you've made.

Turning the lock on the door, Spencer waited for the click before hisface coming close to mine, sleepy eyes closing, medicine-sweet lips puckering up, and all the other sounds of the world going silent— The thunderstorm, whatever had been running on the television, the sound the rain made on the small balcony as it made a small puddle— all silent, as Spencer’s lips finally met mine and I couldn’t get enough of him.

I was tired and sore but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted him, all the time. His weight on top of me. I wanted feel his warm breath on my skin. I wanted his sweat to drop onto me.

Reid took a step forward, his hands sliding down my body and stopping at my hips, cold fingers sitting on the exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up. Our breathing became heavy, more desperate as we gave in to our urges.

He took another step, forcing me to take one backwards and kept doing so until I felt the hotel bed mattress behind me. I slid my hand down his chest, Reid groaning as I reached his waistband, hurriedly unbuckling his belt. I grabbed the zipper of his fly and he pulled away from me.

“You’re going to have to be really quiet” He had a painful expression on his face, eyes shifting between my lips and eyes as if it truly hurt him to pull away from me. “Y/N?”

“Yeah, I can be quiet.”

He didn’t waste another second, letting me fall back on the mattress so he could hover over me. Soft open mouth kisses along my kneel as he carefully undid the buttons on my shirt and I tugged at his zipper.

He shifted his weight, using one hand to hold himself up as he dug though his back pocket. Putting the shiny plastic wrapper in his teeth before pushing his jeans the rest of the way down before moving to undo mine.

I take the wrapper from Reid. allow him to take his own shirt off as I open it, watching as he rushes to get back to smothering me in kisses.

My hand touches his chest and begins to fall in excruciating slow designs, the boy almost whining against my lips.

Gripping a pillow in my fists as he breathes against me, hot air down my exposed him. 

Reid flips, me now straddling him and allowing me to playfully tug at the ends of his hair.

My phone vibrated on the bedside table, Reid groaning in frustration and pulling away from me.

“Ignore it” I muttered, using my index finger to turn his face so he was looking at me again. The phone stopped and he smiled into the kiss until the phone started again. He pulled away. Making me the one to whine this time.

“Hello?” He said into the phone “She’s busy.”

He hung up, putting the phone back on the bedside table and gripping his hands on my thighs to pull me closer to him. Skin to skin.

I moaned and Reid laughed, moving to place a kiss under my ear and whisper. “Quiet, remember?”

I wanted nothing more in that moment than to be with him. Feeling I was about to crumble like sand as the bed creaks beneath us.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

We all arranged to meet in the lobby, Emily and I were talking, entertaining the possibility of a ‘girls night out’ soon.

JJ walked back towards us with coffee cups in her hands, offering us each one. “Where the hell is Reid?”

“Maybe we should send someone to check on him.” Morgan walked towards the elevato, pressing the button and the doors opening instantaneously.

“Hey” Reid greeted. “Ready to go?”

“What took you so long?” Rossi asked

“I didn’t get a very good nights rest.” He walked off the elevator, heading towards the exit. “Poor sleep habits often include an irregular schedule, more than 90 percent of law enforcement officers report being routinely fatigued.”

Reid and I were in seperate cars, unintentionally splitting into women in one and men in the other. I spent the entire drive wondering what they were talking about.

“You alright, Baker?” Emily asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror

“Yeah, i’m fine.” She raised an eyebrow and I sighed. Working with profilers sucks. “I’m just trying to work out why my dad is suddenly so pushy about me dating someone.”

“Maybe he knows you have a crush on Reid.” JJ shrugged

“JENNIFER!” Emily gasped

“You guys think I have a crush on Reid? Did you hit your head or something?”

Prentiss sighed, parking the black SUV “We may have realised a long time ago. It’s not a very kept secret. I think everyone except Reid knows.”

“I’m pretty sure Morgan and Hotch are oblivious too.“ JJ laughed. Climbing out of the car.

We boarded the jet, JJ and Prentiss sharing a knowing look as I took my seat next to Spencer.

“Shut up” I mouthed, the pair of them shaking their head as Reid gave me a confused look.

As the jet started to take off, I listened to everyone’s conversations, checking my phone when it beeped to a new message from Garcia. I looked up through my eyelashes, Prentiss and JJ both looking at their phones and telling me we all just got the message.

Girls Night. Please. Tuesday. - P.G

Emily put her phone down first, mine and JJ’s buzzing again and Hotch noticing. “Are you three messaging each other?”

“Maybe” JJ smiled, putting her phone down after pressing send.

Morgan raised his eyebrow as mine and Emily’s phones buzzed again. “What are you talking about?”

Yes. We need to talk about Y/N and Reid. - E.P

Tuesday’s perfect, and I agree we need to talk about it. Code name: Romeo and Juliette. - J.J

“It’s girl talk, Morgan. And no matter how smooth you are, it’s just not for you.” I sighed, clicking send and making a point to turn my phone off.

“Come on, Cupcake, don’t do me like that.”

There’s nothing to talk about! … but I prefer Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy actually. - /.BR

We had small conversations until we landed, all heading to put away files and clean up our things before heading home.

“So?” Garcia smiled, taking a seat in my desk chair “Anything happen this time?”

“It’s a work trip, G.”

“But Em and JJ know now, so something must have happened!”

“They just worked it out, profilers notice everything.” Apart from that we’d been in an exclusive relationship for a while now.

“You two are totally smitten, just ask Reid on a date. Rossi doesn’t have to know, I can keep a secret. Swear.”

I looked at Reid talking to Morgan across the room, nobody else knowing about the purple marks hidden just beneath his collar.

“See!” Garcia signed “You’re even blushing just looking at him.”

“Nothings going to happen between us.”

“Ready to go home?” Rossi smiled as he walked up to Garcia and I, oblivious to the conversation he had just interrupted. I nodded and he adjusted his bag strap. “Did you call, George?”

Garcia’s eyes snapped to look at my face. I had to focus on how I would answer, he’d know if I was panicked or lying.

“Yeah he called last night.” Truthfully he did, it’s just I didn’t answer, Reid did.

“And?” Penelope urged

I shrugged. “I’m very busy.”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Girls Night Out. Usually we’d be out at a bar getting insanely drunk, but the night started at JJ’s house waiting for Will to come home.

“He’s asleep” She sighed, returning in the 3rd outfit she’d tried on since Henry had decided to throw up on her 1st dress and pee on the 2nd.

“Finally. Now we can discuss.” Garcia smiled, shifting in her spot on the sofa to look at me on the armchair. “Go on, Y/N.”

I laughed, having hoped they would have forgotten this topic over our luxurious 3 days off of work. “Discuss what?”

“Tell them how long you’ve been in love with Reid.”

“I’ve never been in love with Reid!” I protested

“First day she arrived at the BAU, the both of them, practically drooling.”

“Really?” Emily smiled, looking at me with a glint in her eye.

“Hey, well don’t you all look pretty.” Will draped his coat over the back of the couch, everyone greeting him and standing ready to leave.

“Henry‘s asleep, we’ll hopefully only be out for a few hours.” JJ kissed her partner and he gave her a warm loving smile. Maybe I could tell them about Reid and I, but we had a very different situation to others.

Most people don’t work with both their boyfriend and father.

As we left JJ’s the topic shifted and I was immediately relieved, enjoying listening to everyone’s funny anecdotes much more.

The bar we went to was busy, full of people out celebrating. Any time my glass was empty, a new one seemed to appear in front of me until I was viewing everything in a slight haze.

“I think we should go!” JJ announced loudly, pushing herself up from the table and knocking over Emily’s drink.

“At least it’s the weekend” Garcia groaned, picking up her back and adjusting her glasses.

Emily snorted “It’s Tuesday”

“Oh god”

As we managed to make our way outside, JJ’s phone rang and I whined. “Please don’t tell me someone’s murdered again”

JJ answers the call “It’s Will”

“Will!” I cheered, flagging down a taxi for us. I told the man Garcia’s address first since her apartment building was the closest, and we drove off as soon as JJ was done on the phone telling Will we were all safe.

Emily, as the most sober. was in the front telling the driver addresses and making sure we all got to the door safely.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” Prentiss sighed, knocking on the front door as I attempted to find my keys at the bottom of my bag.

Rossi opened the door, pyjamas on and sleep in his eyes.

“Dad, what’s up?” I snapped my fingers, finding my keys. I wasn’t completely drunk but I was buzzed enough that I needed a babysitter.

Rossi looked at Emily as he let me inside “Thank you” Shutting the door behind me, he put his hands on my shoulders to guide me to my bedroom. “Don’t throw up on my carpet”

“I won’t” I groaned, pulling my jacket off and throwing it on the end of my bed with my bag. Rossi turned the light on in my bathroom, walking off and returning with a large glass of water and some snacks.

“Get some rest.” He said softly, pushing a loose strand of hair from my face.

After he was gone, I yawned and pulled my phone from my bag, keying in Reid’s number.

“Spencer” I coo’d when he answered, dragging his name out.

“How much did you drink?”

“Not enough.”

“It’s been stated that to reduce the risk of harm from alcohol-related disease or injury, a healthy limit is to have no more than 10 standard drinks a week and no more than 4 standard drinks on any one day.”

I stayed silent for a few seconds, mentally trying to count how many drinks i’d had. “Then I had way too many.” Reid chuckled on the other side. “Come over.”

“Alcohol primarily affects areas of the brain associated with behavior regulation, this impairment in judgment makes people much more prone to saying the they normally wouldn’t sober.”

“But I would invite you over sober”

“A sober brain helps weigh the good and bad consequences of any decision, therefore I know that it’s probably a bad idea.”

“I hate sleeping alone”

“I believe this is what Morgan’s called a, uh, a ‘booty call’. Human nature to be monogamous but humans quite frequently engage in short-term sexual relationships as well. Evolutionary psychologists resolve this paradox by proposing that men and women employ both long-term and short-term mating strategies, depending on the circumstances. It’s important to note that—”

“Spence. Please.” There was a long pause, a few rustles coming from his end. “Spencer?”

“Hold on, I’m putting my shoes on”

By the time I heard the knocking on my window, i’d already changed into an oversized FBI t-shirt and pair or shorts. I pulled the curtains open, smiling at Reid and letting him in. Much more sober than I had been when I got home.

“Hi”

“Hi” He smiled.

He took a seat on the edge of my bed, taking his shoes off and I looked over the outfit he had on. Plaid pyjama pants, a grey shirt.

He dropped his dirty old converse and stood, stepping towards me slowly and embracing me in a warm hug. I practically melted into his arms, Reid pushing the hair from my face so he could gently kiss my forehead.

“Prentiss and JJ think I have a crush on you and you’re oblivious” I muttered, feeling his chest rise and fall as he laughed.

Moving away from him, I laid on my bed and waited for him to join me. The bed dipped and I reached for the remote on my bedside table.

Spencer raised an eyebrow “Really?”

“You need a horror movie education, i’m thinking The Shining. Morgan and I were talking the other day about how it was a revolutionary film for its time since it explored horror conventions such as isolation, fear, mental illness, and duality—”

Reid cuts me off by rolling over so that he's laying on top of me, parting my legs with one hand. "I get jealous when you talk about Derek like that," he says in a low voice, surprised that he's admitting this to her. "It gives me the wrong idea."

I can already feel my heart beginning to beat faster. "You know he’s just a friend" she whispers, my mind going wild when he leans down, pulling the neckline of my shirt and kissing my collarbone. 

"But he gets to call you nicknames, and I don’t" Reid whispers back and looks down at me again.

Before I can even think about her response the words, "But i’m all yours" spill from my lips and he smirks. 

Our lips become one and Reid grinds his hips against mine, groaning as he does so. He keeps moving his hips, creating a friction that make my breathing shallow— makes me want more. 

He pulls away, slipping the shirt over my head and kissing around my chest. "You know how crazy this all is?" He asks, hands reaching down for the button and zipper of his jeans as I nod. Our romantic situation was our secret but we knew it was crazy since we should have just told people from the start.

He stands so that he can pull his shirt off and motions for me to get up with a finger. "Can we try something?" he says, sitting down on the edge of the bed and pulling her down with him. 

He positions me so that my crotch is on his thigh and places his hands on my hips. Spencer's eyes take every single inch of my body. Never once had I felt bad about myself when with him. Whispering in my ear what he hoped to do with me tonight.

Normally, the idea of dry humping someone to the point of orgasm would sound like a ridiculous and odd suggestion, but with Spencer it was different.

We kiss again and I nod, willing to do practically anything that he could ever want to do together.

Reid’s hold on my hips tightens as he presses me down on to his thigh and, slowly, he begins to rock me back and forth. 

I try to think of how many other ways he could make each other feel. Not just physically. 

Placing my hands on his shoulders as he begins to move me faster, and pressing his mouth to my neck.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

“Y/N” Rossi called out, wrapping his knuckles on the bedroom door. “Are you awake, Hotch said he tried to call.”

I shot up in bed, Reid still peacefully asleep beside me and I shook him awake. The boy blinked slowly, smiling at me like I was the most amazing thing he’d ever seen.

“Y/N?”

The smile disappeared and Reid threw the blanket off of him. Rushing around the room as quietly as possible to grab his clothes.

“One second dad” I picked Reid’s boxers off the floor, throwing them at him. He pulled them, and his pants, on as I opened the window for him to climb out.

Reid put his arms in his shirt, climbing out the window and pulling his head through the hole. He rushed away and I cautiously opened the door, pretending to rub my eyes. “Good morning”

Rossi smiled, cup of coffee in hand. “Your cell must be off, Hotch called asking you to come in.”

“I’m not meant to start until 12” I sighed, looking at the clock on my bedside. 9:30am.

“Better get moving” He brought his cup to his lips, turning and walking away as I closed the door and went to close the window.

“Hey” Reid reappeared outside, startling me.

“Jesus” I put my hand to my chest. “What are you still doing here?”

“I forgot something”

“You never forget anything”

Reid kissed me quickly, his lips warm and soft. “I love you”

He left before I had the chance to say anything back, leaving me dazed at the window for a minute until I managed to force myself to get dressed for the day.

Hotch smiled as he sat me, Garcia, Prentiss and JJ at the table. “Have a fun night last night?”

“The volume is up here” Garcia held her hand above her head, moving it down to the table height. “It needs to be here”

“You still have paperwork to fill out, need it done before the rest of the team gets here.”

Sitting at my desk, I mindlessly filled out the paper. Garcia got to sit in the quiet darkness of her office, meanwhile Prentiss, JJ and I were in the open bullpen. People walking buy constantly, and since JJ had the worst hangover she was constantly complaining  I looked over my desk, groaning when I couldn’t find what I was looking for and picking up my phone.

“Hey, Rossi.” I sighed, rubbing my head with my thumb and forefinger. “I must have accidentally taken one of my files home last night, do you mind grabbing it from my room?”

I could practically feel the sarcasm radiating off of him through the phone. “Oh yes my darling daughter, your wish is my command.”

“See you when you get here.” I yawned, ending the call knowing he’d grab the file from my room for me. Spencer pulled his chair out, sitting at his desk across from me. “Good morning, Reid.”

“Morning, Baker.” He greeted, glancing around before leaning forward and lowering his voice to a whisper. “Coincidentally, I found myself walking home in my socks this morning.”

He nodded to his foot, poking his leg out from the desk and I held back a laugh. “You’ll have to collect them later.”

“I guess so”

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

Rossi put his phone and keys down, closing the front door again so he could go and grab what Y/N had forgotten.

He walked into her room, spotting the folder on her dresser and picking it up.

Feeling the cold breeze coming in through the open window and walking to close it, Rossi almost tripped in the sneakers by the window.

David Rossi picked up the shoes, intent on moving them to the shoe rack in the open closet but stopped. He’d seen these shoes before, but he knew what his daughter wore.

It hit him.

Rossi knew who these shoes belonged to. And he was angry.

───── ❝ ❞ ─────

We were waiting in the briefing room, all of us chatting at the table when Rossi walked in, smacking the file down in front of me. I looked up with a smile, about to thank him when I saw the look etched on his face.

A moment later, Reid looked up at me noticing the tension and then looking up at my dad.

Rossi ran his tongue along his teeth. “Why haven’t you called George?”

“We’ve been busy, but I’ll— I’ll do it” I tried to smile but the look on his face didn’t change, instead, taking his hand from behind his back and revealing none other than Reid’s shoes.

“Crap” Spencer whispered. Everyone silencing as they tried to understand what was happening now.

“Dave?” Hotch asked “You alright?”

“Spencer? Anything you want to say?” Rossi urged

I swallowed the lump in my throat “Dad”

Rossi slammed the shoes down on the desk “He’s messing around with my kid!”

“Technically, uh, I think ‘messing around’ implies that we’re frequently having unprotected sex” All eyes went to Reid, nobody knowing what to say exactly.

“Kid—” Morgan started

“Which We’re— We’re not.” Reid held his hands up in defence. “Well, we are, uh, active just not an impractical—”

“Spencer!” I shouted, trying to get the man to stop talking all together.

“—Amount. Once a week is a common baseline, although that statistic depends slightly on age: 40 to 50 year olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20 to 30 year olds tend to average around twice a week.”

“Spencer!”

“Right.” The boy finally stopped talking. Everyone at the table was silent, eyes shifting between Spencer and I.

“Are you really mad?” I asked quietly, Rossi pulling out his seat and putting his head in his hands.

“No” He sighed. “Disappointed.”

“Why?” He’d already walked in here and slammed shoes on the table, making it everyone’s business. They’d find out eventually so we may as well have this conversation now.

“You kept it from me. I’m your father and you were sneaking around behind my back, don’t you trust me?”

“Can I say something?” Reid asked, Rossi pointing a finger at him.

“No.”

Spencer ignored this. “In our field everyone is at constant risk. We all know someone who’s been effected by our job, it was a lot safer for us to not tell anyone when we started dating. We actually discussed telling you around month 2 but it was—”

“How long has this been going on?”

“228 days” Everyone looked at Reid. “7 months”

“Rossi, it’s not that bad.” Hotch tired to make his friend see the bright side. “Albeit I didn’t know how far it had gone, I thought it was obvious they had some sort of attractive to one another”

Rossi looked at him with wide eyes. “You knew?”

“How did you not know? They always sit next to each other, long stares and awkward glances.” Morgan practically scoffed.

“Oh shut up, none of you really knew.” I laughed, feeling the mood change in the room.

Everyone laughed, agreeing and talking about how they only thought it was a meaningless crush that we’d never pursue.

“So” Rossi started once the laughter had died down, a small smile on his face. “7 months it’s serious? You’re not going to hurt my daughter?”

Spencer tensed. “No— No sir.”

“Good, because you know I have a gun and can use it.” Rossi leaned back in his chair. “Please just knocknext time you come to my house.”

“Oh my god you would not believe how big the bucket load of crazy in this case is I—” Garcia walked into the room, ready to present us with our new case when she stopped. “What did I miss?”

“Everyone knows that Y/N likes Reid.” Emily informed her. “And that Reid likes her.”

God it sounded so much like some school yard drama.

“Everyone? Oh… So what now?”

After Penelope was caught up, and celebrated that she was right— Noting “Penelope Garcia will always notice a blooming office romance. Always. Especially if it’s love at first sight.”— We were sent to pack for our case, Reid and I staying behind in the briefing room as he put his shoes on.

“No exactly how I wanted everything to go but I’m assuming it’s been accepted. We’ll have to fill out an Employee Relationship Management in HR.” Reid stood and I grinned up at him. “What?”

“I forgot something”

He looked at the table. “No, there’s nothing—” I cut him off by kissing him, waiting until he kissed me back before pulling away. “One more, one more.” Our lips met again, full of emotion. Gentle, loving and romantic. The perfect kiss.

“I love you, too” I whispered as I pulled back, Spencer staring at me in silence, slowly sliding his hands across my body to rest in the small of my back and resting his forehead against mine.

“Hey!” Rossi knocked on the glass. “None of that. Hands where I can see them Reid, you’re a smart boy you should know better.”

Copyright © 2023 Altitude. All rights reserved.

[dodger-chan]

Look we all have to write the steddie flirting through DnD scene don't we?

Consider this a Christmas gift if you celebrate and something to do while everything's closed if you don't.

“How touchable are my boobs in this?”

“I think I’m falling in love with Eddie.” Steve replied. He had not meant to say that. He’d been helping Robin pick out clothes for her date with Vickie that night, and the thought had just hit him. Steve tried again. “Your boobs look great. Vickie will definitely want to slip her hands under that shirt.”

“Perfect.” Robin threw herself down on her bed next to Steve. “Let's go back a few seconds. Why do you think you’re falling for Eddie?”

“I stole one of Dustin’s old DnD manuals and I’ve been looking through it to figure out how their nerd game works. I bought my own copy of Sacred Heart. And I'm trying to read The Hobbit for the third time.”

He was forty-eight pages in, the farthest he’d made it yet. He might make it through the whole book this time, now that he’d decided he could skip the songs. 

“Oh, it’s like when you studied for the SATs with Nancy!”

“Even though I’d already taken the exam. Exactly.” Steve sighed. “It’s been going on for weeks. How did I not notice until now?”

“Because you’ve spent most of your life purposefully ignoring it when you liked a guy.” Robin ruffled his hair. “Hey, at least finding him hot isn’t news, right?”

“Yay for small victories, I guess.” Steve fixed the mess Robin had made. “But what do I do about it?”

----------

A part of Steve had wanted to show up in his rattiest t-shirt and jeans, to do his best to blend in with the rest of the club. But it wasn’t like the other guys didn’t know who he was. And Steve wanted to find out if Eddie might like him, not some nerd that looked like him. So Steve wore a polo shirt and his best jeans. The only way he could have looked less like he belonged was if he’d pulled his letterman out from the back of his closet.

“Are you playing with us Harrington?” Eddie asked when Steve sat down at the table.

“Um, is that okay? Bobbie had a thing come up and she asked me to sub in for her.” Robin’s thing had been a second date with Vickie. At his house, so the girls could kiss without worrying about getting caught. Steve needing to spend four hours in the Wheeler basement gave them plenty of alone time, too. “I might need some help with the math, but Robs gave me a character sheet and some basic instructions.”

Eddie and his friends exchanged looks. Steve really hoped they weren’t going to tell him to get lost.

“Steve? You’re playing?” Dustin practically threw himself down the stairs when he saw Steve. “How did we finally convince you? Was it Robin? Where is she?”

“Robin’s busy. I’m her sub. If Munson’s cool with it?”

Faced with Dustin’s pleading eyes, Eddie didn’t stand a chance.

----------

Steve mostly kept quiet at first, observing how Eddie ran the game, what strategies the kids preferred to use. Mostly he let them make the decisions and when they were in combat he hit the biggest enemy with his morningstar until it stopped moving.

It felt kind of familiar, but way less painful.

After a little while, Steve thought he had the hang of it enough to try Robin’s plan.

“Wait a second,” he stopped Mike before they attacked the mysterious cloaked figure. “Isn’t everybody’s health kind of low?”

“We don’t have time to rest and heal, Steve.” Mike was being weirdly patient with him. “The enemy has already seen us.”

“Yeah, but I could try charming him instead of fighting. Robin said her character was supposed to be charming.” She’d had this long explanation about charisma that Steve hadn’t followed but she’d summed it up as flirt with the NPCs. “If I flirt with him, maybe he’ll let us by without a fight.”

“He’s a guy, Steve,” Dustin pointed out. “Robin’s character is also a guy.”

“Gay people exist.” One of the older Hellfire members, Steve thought his name was Gareth, spoke up. He hadn’t expected any of Eddie’s friends to help him out with this. The three of them had their eyes on Eddie.

Eddie wasn’t saying anything.

“He’s seduced at least one girl in every town we’ve passed through,” Lucas explained. “Usually two or three.”

“It’s kind of a running joke,” Will added.

“He could like both.” Steve said it with a casualness he did not feel. “Some people do.”

“Buckley’s not going to be upset you made her character a little gay?” Eddie asked him.

“Nah, she won’t mind.”

“Then roll for seduction.”

Right as he rolled, another of Eddie’s friends - Steve had missed his name during introductions - bumped into the table. The dice fell onto the floor and one rolled under the sofa.

This was apparently a catastrophe.

“We won’t be able to get the die without moving it! We’ll never know what you rolled!” Dustin whined.

“Couldn’t I just roll it again?” This was, for some reason, the worst question he could have asked, as it sparked a lecture on the sacred and inviolable nature of the dice rolls.

“Have him role play it,” Jeff suggested. Eddie shot his friend a dirty look.

Steve briefly wondered if Robin had been talking with the older members of Hellfire, but that didn’t seem likely. They wouldn’t have any reason to help him out. 

“I don’t mind.”

“If that’s what you want.” Eddie shrugged. “Show us you can be as charming as your character.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m exactly as charming as Sir Dingus des Cheveux.” Steve wasn’t sure if he should be flattered or disturbed by how much Robin’s character was based on him. Though it certainly made playing him easier. “Tell me what I see.”

“I already did. Cloaked figure, no obvious weapon.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’d notice if I was looking for a fight. Can I see his hair? His face? His eyes?”

“Um, his hood is up, so no.” Right. Eddie was going to make this difficult.

“Okay so I step forward and I stand, uh, shit. It’s hard to describe.” Steve could be just as difficult. “Can we act it out?”

“Act it out?”

“I mean the NPCs are all you, right? So if you could stand in for this guy?” A lot of flirting was physical and, for Steve, automatic. He didn’t know exactly what he was doing until he was doing it. 

“Do it, Eddie.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ve always wanted to see The Hair at work.”

Eddie’s friends egged him on. Lucas nodded along with them. Dustin had grabbed a blank sheet of paper and seemed prepared to take notes. Will seemed somewhere between uncomfortable and fascinated. Only Mike looked unhappy about it, but that was just how Mike was. 

Date a guy’s sister for a year and not even saving his life could make him smile at you.

Eddie rose from his seat.

“Okay, Harrington. Charm me.”

Steve stepped forward, until he was almost close enough to touch Eddie.

“Hi,” he said, tilting his head to one side. He smiled a slightly goofy smile that he knew invited teasing. “What’s a nice boy like you doing in a dungeon like this?”

Eddie burst out laughing.

“Seriously? That’s what you’re starting with?”

“Is that you or the character laughing?” Steve asked.

“Both.”

“You have a beautiful laugh.” Steve spoke in character. Eddie stopped laughing, surprised. “I bet your face is just as lovely.”

“He pushes his hood back to reveal the face of a drow. The face is not lovely, but scarred. One particularly nasty scar on his right cheek creates the illusion of a smile. He says, You lose.”

“I don't know about that.” Steve stepped a little closer and lifted his hand. “May I?”

Eddie nodded.

Steve pushed Eddie's hair away from his face, lightly brushing Eddie's scars. Taking care that the back of his thumb caressed the most prominent one, the one that tugged down the corner of Eddie's lip and gave his smile a permanent look of irony.

“You have the most expressive eyes I've ever seen,” Steve murmured. Eddie pulled back.

Shit. That wasn't in character. Steve tried again.

“I think I won, but I wouldn’t want to contradict anyone with such enchanting eyes.” He dropped the smile but kept the teasing tone. “What do I lose?”

“Your life,” Eddie replied, but his heart clearly wasn't in it.

“You don't want to kill me.” Steve’s smile widened. He'd won this round as soon as Eddie had laughed. “If you’re having trouble thinking up a forfeit, can I suggest a kiss?”

“Okay, okay,” Eddie said with another laugh. “You have successfully seduced the drow. He does not attack your party, or summon reinforcements. Your one night stand allows for a long rest. Because the drow is a cleric of Loviatar, you only recover half your health.”

“Worth it.” He winked at Eddie before sitting back down at the table. “Sir Dingus had an excellent time. Is there a fantasy version of asking for a guy’s number? In case I have to sub in for Rob again?”

He didn’t want to saddle Robin’s character with a boyfriend when Robin had been using him to flirt with girls, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie with the impression that Steve moved on from people as quickly as Sir Dingus did.

“The life of an adventurer is hardly conducive to long term relationships.” That did not answer Steve’s question. “But, he tells you his name is Ghauntel Kenduis and should he see you again, he will remember yours.”

--------

Dungeons and Dragons was not the worst way to spend an afternoon. The combat was kind of boring, and the bickering over what the party was going to do next made Steve sympathize with the guys who’d stuffed nerds into lockers. 

Okay, DnD was not his thing at all and the only thing he really enjoyed about it was getting to flirt with Eddie.

Steve slid his hand over the scars on Eddie's neck. Slowly, carefully, he brought their lips together for a kiss.

Well, Eddie’s characters, which wasn’t exactly the same thing. And after that first time, he hadn’t had to do nearly as much roleplaying. But it was still fun.

“You kept breaking character,” Eddie commented when the game was finished for the day. 

“What do you mean?” The kids had, unsurprisingly, vanished upstairs as soon as it was time to clean up. A little more surprising was that the rest of Hellfire had also cleared out, leaving Steve and Eddie alone.

“When you would flirt. You kept losing the characters. You’ve never played before, so flirting with me instead of my NPCs would be an easy mistake to make. Or…” Eddie trailed off. “Nah, you’re just bad at the game.”

“I mean, I am. And breaking character wasn’t something I tried to do on purpose.” Steve stepped close to Eddie again. Close enough to reach out and touch him. “But I kept doing it because I wanted to flirt with you.”

“Why?” Eddie asked. “I'm a freak and kind of an asshole a lot of the time. And I’m not exactly a pretty face these days.”

“Well, it turns out that weird and passionate nerds are kinda my type.” And Steve was sick of dating girls who weren't his type. “May I?”

Wordlessly, Eddie nodded.

Again, Steve pushed Eddie's hair back, tucking it behind his ear. Eddie leaned into Steve's touch.

“You really do have the most expressive eyes. I wish you didn't feel like you have to hide them.” 

[distortionbobble]

Royal Flowers Chapter 4

series masterlist

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pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!reader

series summary: A long, long, time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a certain Jedi by the name of Anakin Skywalker meets you, the current Queen of Naboo and cousin of Padme Amidala, and is tasked with protecting you by pretending to marry you. As a spy, you’ve infiltrated the Separatist ranks and are close to finding out the mastermind behind all of it. The fate of the galaxy is in your hands.

warnings: minors dni! ageless blogs dni! none this chapter but the series will have eventual smut, canon-level violence and just general warnings.

It’s been a week since you and Anakin last spoke. Or even made eye contact, really. Everytime that your eyes accidentally lock, you both whip your heads the other way, awkwardly remembering the closeness between the two of you. You know it’s wrong— newlyweds shouldn’t be playing bashful lovers, but goodness, his mouth on your skin in such an intimate manner had lingered in your thoughts for far too long. 

You haven’t even trained since that first day, forced to attempt the moves in the shower or the privacy of your dressing room on your own. And though Anakin shares the bed with you, he sneaks in when he thinks you’re asleep and is sure to leave before you wake. 

Fortunately, you’ve been kept totally busy— the Sandtek Corporation has drafted a new agreement to supply Naboo’s military with modified Skyflippers, and as Queen, it’s your responsibility to read all of the agreement conditions before approving it. Unfortunately, it’s all piloting jargon, and it’s all flying over your head. You sit at the desk in the palace library with your head in your hands, groaning at the mess of paperwork before you before thumping your head on the polished wood. Reyna, your body double, is busy attending some publicity event— a celebration for the royalty thrown by the agricultural sector. Since you didn’t need to be doing anything there, it was decided that she’ll go while you look over the policies. You know the Separatists want you to agree to it, but you can’t for the life of you figure out why. After all, their entire mission is to weaken Naboo, bring it on the brink of collapse to sow their own seeds of chaos. There had to be something you were missing— exactly what was it? 

You’re still reading the paperwork hopelessly when the door to the library creaks open, and Anakin slides in, unaware of your presence. When he does finally notice you he freezes, the stiffness detected from the corner of your eyes. He holds his hand up quickly— likely that noise bubble thing he’d mentioned earlier— before he speaks. 

“Sorry for the intrusion, milady,” He says rather awkwardly. Anakin’s metal fingers trails against the books as he searches for something. “Just looking for a book.” You snort almost instinctively in response. 

“I didn’t know you could read,” you quip slyly, fixing your gaze on the papers before you as a smirk creeps across your face. Anakin remains in a stunned silence before a short chuckle escapes him, spreading to a full-bodied laugh as the awkwardness of the past week leaves the two of you. You’re both so desperate for companionship that it just makes sense. 

“Funny, milady,” he says, making his way to the desk. “Might I ask what you’re reading?” 

“Oh, Maker, what a good question, Anakin,” you sigh dramatically. “Something about skycraft.” At this, he perks up. 

“Skycraft? Might I take a look?” When you nod your approval, he comes to stand beside you, leaning over you as he looks at the blueprints for the modifications of the Skyflippers. “No, that’s not right,” he murmurs, grabbing the blueprints in his confusion as you watch him. 

“What is it?”

“These modifications, they’re… all in the wrong place for battle,” Anakin insists. “They’ve gone and reinforced all the parts that don’t need reinforcing, parts that skycraft can return back home with blast holes through them. Meanwhile, the combustive parts of the skycraft are left vulnerable. One well-placed blast and the whole thing goes boom.” Oh. That’s why they wanted you to approve it so badly.

“Shit,” you voice, to which Anakin nods. 

“Shit, indeed.” 

“Okay, how do you know all of this?” you ask, spinning the chair to face him. He smiles down at you cockily, and you almost want to laugh. 

“Well, my queen, if you must know, you’re looking at the best pilot in the entire galaxy,” Anakin says, bowing exaggeratedly when you giggle. 

“Is that so, Anakin Lars?” You tease. He holds a hand to his chest, affronted by the notion that he would lie about such a thing. “Well, then, come help me look over these papers,” you say, getting up from the chair to sit on the desk. Your legs dangle freely and you can’t help the overwhelming feeling of relief. Anakin talking to you again, and this whole mess of skycraft resolved? It’s a rare win, and it’s one that you’re going to relish as long as possible. 

You take the moment of peace to study Anakin, who’s poring over the agreement and leaving inky comments and scratches all over the paperwork. The bright sunlight streaming in from outside is softened by the wooden shelving of the room, bouncing and scattering and you’re reminded once again of how pretty Anakin is. His face is screwed in concentration, his tongue pressed against his teeth in a manner so endearing that you can’t help but smile. It’s nice to have a friend after so many years of loneliness. 

When he’s finished, he looks at you, beaming, and hands you the marked-up blueprint. 

“These modifications should actually help the defense sector,” Anakin confirms. 

“I’ll have to make sure I can submit the modifications without the Separatists realizing that I made the modifications,” you muse out loud. “We should create a new blueprint that seems to match this one, but actually reflects the modifications you made.” Anakin nods, rifling through the desk to produce a piece of paper identical to the blueprints and begins transcribing the design. You remain where you are, grabbing sheets of policy work and reading through it, occasionally plucking the pen from Anakin’s hand to use it for signatures. Anakin’s quick in realizing that he can help you with other work, and you share the work with him happily. 

“Y’know, Anakin,” you say as the two of you wrap up all of your work hours later, “It must get boring with nothing to do in the palace.” He nods in confirmation, stretching and sighing when his joints pop. “I wouldn’t mind it if you wanted to join me for my work,” you say with a slight smile. Anakin’s analytical mind impressed you, and you enjoyed not feeling so lonely. Maybe that was just a lot of words to say that you like having him around. 

You walk out of the library with him, the two of you sharing a smile that feels like a secret. Right now feels like a bubble that you want to put in your pocket to be able to pull out whenever you’re feeling blue. 

It’s a far cry from a friendship but there’s respect and trust, and that makes you feel safe for the first time in a long time. 

~~~

Anakin wakes up while you’re still asleep. 

Last night was… nice. The two of you ate your dinner in the grand dining hall, making pleasant casual conversation until your plates were bare, and had then gone to bed rather unceremoniously. But you thought he was smart. It was an incredible feeling, to have earned your respect by virtue of his interest in flying. And Maker, you looked so impressed when he had done all that work with the Skyflippers. It was kind of addicting, the sight of your approving smile. He can’t wait to impress you more and watch your face light up in excitement. Anakin can’t remember the last time he had truly earned someone else’s approval like that— it usually came as a default response to knowing he’s the Chosen One. Anakin thinks he likes this a lot better. 

He knows he should wake you up for training, as it’s been at least a week, but he doesn’t want to right now— for now, he wants to enjoy the quiet. You’re facing him as you sleep, and he’s careful to watch you in case you wake up, but you’re fast asleep, the rise of your chest slow and exhales soft. But he keeps staring, anyway. Anakin’s transfixed by the glow of your skin in the early morning sun, the tranquility of your face, the curve of your nose, the shape of your lips. You’re like artwork, and promises that he’ll only look at you for a moment longer.

Your hand is splayed out between his body and yours, and it almost makes Anakin feel like you’re almost reaching out to him in your dreams. Slowly, carefully, Anakin reaches to you, laying his palm flat on the mattress next to yours. His fingers are curled, but if he straightened them by just a hair, he’d be touching your hand. The thought of it makes his heart race wildly, and Anakin feels genuinely confused. He doesn’t know why that thought makes his face warm, but it does, and with every passing second he just wants to do it more and more. But he’s torn— why does it feel like a betrayal to Padme? His heart belongs to Padme, he knows that. And this is just a friendly gesture. It means nothing, he’s just so starved for touch that the brush of his pinky against yours would satiate him. Anakin breathes in deeply, mustering all his courage before he straightens out his fingers and his body positively hums at the subtle contact. Every doubt in his mind goes silent, all of his thoughts giving way for him to keep his fingers extended just enough to feel your warmth just barely against his. His hand trembles at the effort, but he forces it to stay like that, letting his eyes close as he finally surrenders to you. 

Anakin doesn’t keep track of how long he stays like this, listening to the soft sound of your breathing before you begin to rouse. He hears you but doesn’t move, keeping his breaths measured so that he thinks you’re asleep. He feels you pause when you see your barely-connected hands and his pulse pounds loudly in anticipation— will you rip your hand away? Or will you just move it so that it’s still in his reach but not touching him?

You don’t do either of those things. Instead, you sit up and move the blankets off of your body with your other hand, maintaining the position of your hand. Anakin has to fight to keep the smile off of his face, still pretending to be asleep. Your fingers flex slightly towards his before you move away, presumably to get ready for the day. But that action, subtle as it may have been, exhilarates Anakin. And though he can’t quite figure out why, he allows himself to enjoy the feeling, stretching his arm to brush where you’ve left a warm imprint in the sheets. He’ll get up soon, but he allows himself this luxury. There’s a lingering guilt, something about his feelings for Padme, which forces him to sit up and wrench his hand away. You step out of the bathroom now, the very picture of elegance and grace and it makes him feel even worse when you murmur a polite good morning with a smile tugging at your lips. He thins his lips in response and nods, heart sinking to his stomach when your smile falls and you nod, saying nothing of his distant behavior. He hates himself for pushing you away but his commitment to Padme still eats at him, even if it’s a labor of hopeless devotion. 

He can’t just give up on Padme. She was the love of his life. It would be wrong to treat you in any way that would hint on some sort of reliance— emotionally, all he needs is Padme, but he doesn’t even have that now. He can’t treat you as some sort of stand-in for her; you’ll never be her, and you’re just a companion, anyway. But it’s too soon to think of all of that. He’s still so distraught over her and he can picture her in your place, smiling and leaning against the door with her hair cascading past her shoulders. Padme. His love. His light. He’s so lost in the memory of her that he misses you calling his name repeatedly, forcing you to come over and jolt his shoulder to force him to look at you. 

“Anakin.” Your greeting is colder than how things were yesterday but Anakin doesn’t blame you. It’s better off this way, anyways. “Will you be helping me today with the paperwork?” And though Anakin wants to be cautious of getting too close with you, he nods, too fulfilled by having some sort of task to do to shoot down the opportunity. You smile at him before you turn to leave the chambers, snapping your fingers when you remember something. “Oh, and one more thing, Anakin,” you say. “I’ve been advised by some of the palace staff that it would be a good idea to arrange some sort of public outing, to show our faces to the public and solidify our relationship. I’ve decided to combine that with an advertisement for Sandtek, and since you’re a pilot, I decided to make that outing one where you can fly their Skyflipper. So….” you drawl, watching his face for his reaction. “I guess I’ll see you at noon, then.”

“See you then, milady,” he nods. 

Well, so long for distancing himself. 

~~~

The ride to the field is short, and you keep the silence filled with some tunes on the radio. Anakin recognizes it as the Max Rebo band and is surprised to see how much you engage with the music, tapping your feet and humming the parts that you’re familiar with. He finds it endearing, even if he associates the Max Rebo Band with the Hutts. He tries to mimic your carefree enjoyment, watching you from the corner of his eye and trying to nod his head to the beat. He likes how fun you are, and laughs to himself when you start humming the chorus a beat earlier than it starts. 

“You ever heard of the Max Rebo band, Anakin?” You ask, stretching your back against the transporter wall. He has, even heard them live in the Hutt Palace when he was very very young and Gardulla the Hutt held his mother and himself as a slave. But that’s a bit of a mood-downer so he chooses not to divulge that little tidbit. 

“They’re the most popular band in the galaxy. How couldn’t I have heard it?” He says. 

“Oh, y’know. I just kind of assumed that the Jedi don’t do anything fun,” you tease, making him grin. 

“As if you know what fun is,” Anakin scoffs, eagerly anticipating your reaction. The banter between you is fun, friendly. The way it should be between the two of you. He tries to wipe the feelings from this morning from his mind as he watches your face light up in playful offense. 

“Excuse me? I’m way more fun than you!” You proclaim, jabbing your finger at him. He notes that the transport is at its destination so he hops up from the seat, offering his hand for your disembarkment. 

“We’ll see about that,” Anakin grins. The doors of the transport hiss open and you stand with Anakin, hand in hand as you face the eagerly awaiting crowd. For some reason, with all of the eyes on you two, the intimacy of your hand against his is lost, and he wonders if he had just imagined what he’d felt this morning. Amongst the crowd is a gaggle of reporters, videoing the two of you. He realizes it must be Sandtek publicity, using the Queen’s endorsement to convince more people to buy their products or recruit more workers. Either way, effective. 

Anakin’s excitement takes over entirely when he sees the modified skycraft— it’s been so long since he was able to fly, and he can’t wait to show off his skills to you. He pulls you through the crowd, smiling and waving at them before he’s at the ramp of the Skyflipper. His racing heart excites him, makes him bolder and brash, so he turns around to face the reporters and swoops you off of your feet, carrying you bridal style and placing a kiss to your cheek. His strength makes it easy to carry you, and it’s worth it to see the shocked delight on your face. Good for the publicity, right? That’s what he tells himself, but he’s not sure how much he actually believes that. 

“Anakin, put me down!” you giggle once the ramp’s up, and it’s just the two of you. Anakin quirks a brow before he lets go of you completely, using the Force to make you hover just an inch before you would hit the floor. 

“C’mon, princess, your romantic date awaits you!” Anakin hollers as he leaves you there. He’s plenty of fun, and by the end of this date you’ll know that too. 

He makes sure that you’re fully strapped in before he begins your ascent, the familiarity of flying makes him feel at home. Before long, you’re coasting through the clouds in a peaceful silence as Anakin concentrates. You’re humming a tune aimlessly, drumming your fingers on your seat as you watch Naboo fly past from inside the glass paneling. 

“Oh look, it’s a herd of Shaak!” You gasp suddenly, awwing at the gentle beasts as they graze on rolling hills of lush green grass. Anakin thinks of when he’d gone to a place just like this with Padme, the painful memory cutting through his throat and he speeds past the fields. You fly past hundreds of fields, roads and villages, and Anakin can sense the emotions rolling off of you as you survey your domain and the vastness of it all. Your people. 

“This is why I love flying so much,” Anakin says quietly. “All of your problems don’t seem so important.” 

“It all seems so far away,” you sigh, exhaling on the glass and drawing little patterns in it with a light finger. He takes a second to look back at you in the seat— happy, peaceful, and it’s because of him, because of what he’s showing you with his skills. Anakin feels that familiar glow within him, one that he tries to tamp down but can’t stop the smile that he allows himself at the thought of making you happy. 

“Are you all strapped in, milady?” He asks, turning forwards again. Anakin routes the craft back to where your original transport waits; he knows you’ve spent enough time in the skies with him, 

“What tricks have you got up your sleeve?” You ask suspiciously, followed by the telltale click of metal sliding into metal that cues Anakin to speed all the way up. You shriek when the resisting force pulls your body back, watching everything become a blur as Anakin tests just how fast the Skyflipper can go. 

“Maker, Anakin!” You shout, laughing. 

“Oh, I’m not quite done yet,” He responds before making the plane spin upside-down. He flies the Skyflipper in quick, tight circles, laughing at your delighted noises. 

“Okay, maybe you do know how to have fun,” You admit as the skycraft touches down, your clothes in disarray from Anakin’s wild flying. You straighten them out as best you can and smile up at Anakin when he offers you his arm, the two of you walking out together. 

“A successful date, then?” He asks you, bringing his arm around you and kissing your temple sweetly in front of everyone. “A successful date, indeed,” you smile.

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 10 (Sneak Peek)

a/n: A little peek inside Jake's head... chapter 10, the true first look at how Jake will take the news. You'll see the first few weeks of him knowing once the whole chapter is here. Eeeek!!

However, here is the mess of his mind once he first finds out......

-🌼🌼🌼-

Jake's POV

There was no doubting her. Not for a single second. The baby was mine and I’d known it in my heart before I asked. 

I really just wanted to hear her say it. 

During our time together, just like she’d been it for me, I knew in my heart that I’d been it for her. I’d known her, backwards and forwards.

And, within that time that I knew her so well, we’d become close. So close that, without meaning to make it—us— more, we’d made what we had more. 

Shaking my head, I gave her a better look, not able to put into words what the fuck I was feeling. So, I let my eyes trail down her body, covered only by a towel. 

She adjusted her towel, tighter around her body. Was she self conscious? She shouldn’t have been. She was always beautiful. So beautiful. And I was afraid pregnancy was only going to enhance her beauty. . . I noticed as she tightened her towel, the action made her full breasts spill even more from the top of the towel. 

I averted my eyes, willing my dick to not react. Instead, I trained my eyes below, on her belly. 

And now that I knew, I could see. Even through the fluffiness of the towel, I could see a certain roundness to her belly that had never been there before. A full-blown bump. Still small by some standards, but big enough that I should have fucking noticed. 

Not able to help it, my eyes scanned her heaving chest again, the tops of her tits fully exposed above the towel. It made so much sense why I’d noticed them looking bigger. . . Because they were bigger. Growing. Every day. To nourish a baby. 

Our baby.

I looked away from her. . . I couldn’t look at her right now. 

Not when she— when I. . . God.

How had I been so oblivious?! I lived with her for Christ’s sake. Was it my fault that I hadn’t allowed myself to be more present in her life? Was it because I was seeing Maya now? 

God. No. It wasn’t on me to watch for things like that anymore. Not since she’d told me that I’d served my purpose. That I was just convenient. . . And all of the other hateful shit she’d spit in my face that day. 

The day my heart fucking broke after pounding in my chest. . . Pleading with her to help me understand all of it. 

But she didn’t fucking stop . . . Just kept going. Breaking me. Saying things I never, in a million years, ever wanted to hear from her. 

I’d let her become more in my life. I foolishly thought it was meant to last. Thought that she had become my someone. More than relationship. More than friends. She had just . . . Been there. She’d nestled into a place made just for her in my heart. Like she was supposed to have been there all along. 

I’d never wanted her to leave. 

But she’d wanted to. She’d put her foot down, not leaving any goddamn room for argument. 

And my heart. . . Fucking broken after beating the hardest it ever had in my chest. . . Shattered into an infinite number of tiny shards at my feet. I’d spent days picking up the shreds, my hands getting cut every time I tried to fix in me what she’d torn apart. 

There was a part of me that knew exactly why she’d done it. I fucking knew. But there was no use in entertaining what I knew to be true when she refused to acknowledge the truth. 

The night we’d smoked and I’d told her that I— she’d told me that she— Jesus. The moment had been so real, so solid. . . Even being under the influence, I felt the connection we’d made in that moment. 

I thought about the words everyday after that night. And the words continued to echo for weeks after I’d left the kitchen on that hellish day. 

Then there was the transcendental sex we’d had when we made it into her room. . . She’d been so wet, waiting for me. . . Fuck it all. That sure as hell hadn't left my mind. It wouldn't ever.

Wait— the night we’d smoked. . . We hadn’t used. . .

Was that when—?

The inside of my brain was just going fucking insane and I couldn’t— goddammit!

I tucked Josh's goddamn phone in my pocket, and ran a hand through my hair a couple of times. The other hand still held my keys, flexing over and over. I needed to do something with my hands. Besides balling them into fists and creating divots in one palm with my fingertips and the other with my keys.

I was tired of just standing there, in front of this woman I’d fallen for at a time when I thought I’d never want to love again. . . The same woman who’d shattered me. And, now, the very same woman who was carrying my child. . . 

There was no use in trying to organize any thoughts. 

Pacing seemed to be the only option. So, back and forth, back and forth, I walked in about a foot of space. Just waded in these uncharted fucking waters.

All I knew at this moment was she was pregnant. And she’d lied to me about it. 

How long had she—? How far along was—?

And why in the hell had Josh known before me?! Of all fucking people . . .

Fuck! 

“Jake,” her voice tore through the catastrophic mess of shit in my head. 

I didn’t look at her. 

How could I? When she’d left me in the dark. Once again, prioritized Josh over me. Even when it came to my child. Absolutely fucking incredible.

“Jake, please,” she muttered, voice cracking on the word please. My heart couldn’t handle the sound. “I can’t— I’m not in the right state of mind to just—," she squeaked, the sound of tears clear in her tone.

I stopped pacing and peered up at her finally, my hair surely a mess when I let my eyes pierce hers. 

But as soon as I made eye contact with her, I softened. I hated to see her cry. Hated it. And the sobs wracking her were unexpected and it hurt me to stand there and watch her like that. 

But— she’d brought this on herself. Right?! Fuck. 

As much as I wanted to walk to her and hug her, I didn’t. I stayed where I was, offering a half-assed condolence. It wasn’t her turn to hurt over this. 

I was the one just finding out. Not her.

“Y/n,” I tried, weakly. But god it sucked to say her name right now. “Just— god. There are so many—.”

“Questions, I know,” she finished, sniffling. She walked a couple hesitant steps toward me. But I took two back, away from her. 

The way her body slacked at my action made me want to take it back. There were a lot of things I wanted to do. Some understandable, some not so much. I wanted to cry. Kiss her. Hug her. Feel her. Help her. Scream at her. 

But, she was right. I did have so many fucking questions. 

“How long?” I asked, breath shallow, never letting my eyes leave hers. 

She kept up, not looking away from me. “How long have I known? Or how long have I been—?”

“Both.”

“I—,” she stuttered, closing her eyes tight, her beautiful face contorted in what I could only assume was emotional turmoil. 

I watched as she balled her fists, clenching them a few times. Then, as she released them, she seemed to plant her feet firmly on the floor— her body, rigid and straight. 

When she opened her eyes and found mine again, I could clearly see the tears that had accumulated on her lashes. And her eyes, that would forever take my breath away, were daring to shed more of them.

“Don’t cry,” I couldn’t help but calmly reassure her, my voice soft as I went to stand closer to her again. Not close. Just— closer. “Just. . . keep going. Talk me through it. Talk us through it.” 

She breathed deeply, in and out, once. I strained to not let my eyes fall to her chest— to admire the way that her fuller breasts would rise and fall. . . 

I resisted, focusing on her eyes - her face. Her face, rivaling all gods of beauty, always daring to bewitch me.

After taking one more calming breath, she began. “I’m three months,” she paused momentarily, as if thinking of something. “Three months today, actually.”

Three months.

“And how long have you known?”

“I’ve known for about a month,” she responded, bringing her shoulders higher and sniffling once. She blinked once, tightening her fists once more. “That’s not to say I told anyone right away. I kept it to myself. I was scared. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.”

I let her words sit in the air for a few minutes, thought them through at least five times before I couldn’t keep the next question to myself any longer. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: hm.... what will his next question be???? I'll give you one guess 🙄

also, I love how much he already loves her changing body..... liiiiike..... 👀

[noeou]

hello:) this is based off of aces halloween card because he has a line something like saying he has his makeup down and wants to try on us sometime. could you possibly do the first years x reader headcanons of them doing the readers makeup !! i love your crush ones

HIDDEN TALENT.

letting them do your makeup, willingly... or not.

includes: ace trappola, deuce spade, epel felmier, and sebek zigvolt. ( x gn!reader )

next parts: currently unavailable.

contains: fluff! romantic.

sincerely noe ,⠀thank you for your kind words, nonnie! im glad you enjoyed them and will enjoy these just as much :) there is no jack or silver because i can't see them being interested in makeup to that extent, i'm sorry.

ACE TRAPPOLA

although it may not look like it, ace is a lot better at makeup than you'd think. he's very quick about it as well. 

when you asked him to do your makeup for no particular reason, he was actually excited. spent the whole night looking at different styles that would suit you and practice on himself. yes, he did fall asleep with makeup on his face, doesn't matter.

you first got brunch at sam's, it was (in a way) awkward with ace just staring at your face but what did you expect?

"wow, you brought a lot more than i'd expect."

you stared at your once empty vanity filled with the supplies he brought. you didn't know whether to be flattered at his effort or offended at the fact he thought he'd need this much.

"only the best for the prefect," he mumbled, mind clearly elsewhere.

he worked in silence. it was kind of funny, how close he was to your face yet not once making eye contact with you. the concentration is truly on another level.

it didn't take too long before he stepped away, somewhat proud of his first attempt on your face. 

"that was a lot harder than i thought it'd be." ace sighed, glad to finally rest his arm.

you glared at him for that statement, despite knowing what he truly meant. as much as you wanted to bring up how rude the statement could be interpreted, you noticed something was off. ace was much, much paler than usual, other than his eyes that were darkened.

standing to get a better look at his face, you finally were able to look in the mirror (he wanted you to be surprised so he had you turned away.)

no, you were not met with a monstrosity. three hearts of different sizes were made around your left eye, resembling the single one on ace's. you never would have expected such a thing from the ace trappola, infamous prankster.

a gentle snore interrupted your thoughts; a grin tugging at the corner of your lips, you worked to move him to a more comfortable spot to get some rest.

DEUCE SPADE

he learned a lot of what he knows from his mother. to start, he'd catch his mom watching makeup tutorials as background noise while she'd do anything. that's how he was introduced to the art. 

when you asked him to do your makeup, the one he wanted to do immediately came to mind. it was one he was still working on perfecting, it was inspired by one of the characters in a drama his mother frequented; his favorite one (don't tell anyone.)

before getting to work, he watched the first episode with you to show you who the look was inspired by. he kept it on as he worked, not getting distracted for a moment.

"can you look up for me?" deuce requested, gently pulling your chin upward.

"she's actually pretty cool," you hummed, eyes still glued to the screen. "i can see why you chose her as inspiration."

he tapped your nose with the end of the brush in his hands, scoffing at your comment. "i chose her because she's my favorite in the show."

"just like i'm your favorite in this wonderland?"

"you are aware that i can mess your makeup up at any given moment, right?" deuce said, glaring.

"okayokay–" you grinned, "i'll stop."

which you did, until you didn't.

funny enough he finished when the show did. and the show wasn't short. nonetheless, you took so many pictures with and without him. going as far as to fix your hair like hers, just to tease him further. 

"i'm never doing this again." he groaned, falling into a pillow to hide his flushed face. it was his best attempt at tuning out your professions of love in anaccent similar to the character's.

EPEL FELMIER

he needed a face to practice makeup on that wasn't plastic in order to complete vil's assignment, leading us to where we are now. 

while he may not be a makeup pro, he could be mistaken for one given how much attention to detail there is in his work. the precision is unmatched among his peers, apple carving was to thank for that. 

he went for a more minimalistic look, if only it didn't sting as much as it did. 

the melody of piano being played in another room made sitting through this easier than it was, humming along to that epel put you through an hour's worth of skincare (not including the time you spent on it the night prior to) before getting to the makeup part. 

an unexplainable joy filled you when there was only lip gloss left on the table, you watched as epel began tidying up his other belongings before finishing the last part.

he quickly dragged his thumb across your lower lip, to check that the chapstick had already been absorbed. the warmth in your face was at first our of shyness at the unexpected gesture, which quickly turned to irritation when your lips began to sting.

"my lips burn, again!" you poked the skin around it, wanting to wipe off the plumper but at the same time not wanting to mess up the hours of progress. 

"don't talk, ya might get some in your mouth." epel said, looking up at you for a brief moment. "i need to take pictures, don't mess it up."

"wasn't planning on it…" after a few more minutes of silence, an idea struck you, "as long as you kiss it better."

taking advantage of the confusion in his face, you quickly pressed a kiss to his cheek. at least you won't be suffering alone.

SEBEK ZIGVOLT

out of the other, he is definitely the most shy about being able to do makeup. he doesn't keep his knowledge secret, but he doesn't go out of his way to tell people about it either. 

he knows a lot about more traditional styles, finding the modern ones very… silly, if you will. 

given his more tradition preferences, sebek is definitely one to never use products found in stores. he makes his own. and yes, he does use them very often.

over a break, lilia convinced him to take you with them to briar valley. they planned a ball for a reason you can't recall, but it's allowed you to learn more about this side of sebek.

it took him a while to stop being flustered with the amount of skincare and make supplies he's mad. when he did, he most certainly geeked out about it. it was more of like what styles you do when, and techniques. 

"ooh, we match!" you grinned excitedly, looking at your face in the mirror.

you noticed a light shade of pink dust his ears at you observation.

"it's tradition that knights match with their lover at gatherings like these."

“what? really?” you gaped, you’ve truly come a long way.

it was almost like yesterday he was embarrassed to know you exist and now he’s willing to show your relationship to those he’s grown up with.

you pressed a kiss to his cheek before (debatably) skipping off to change.

[grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks]

Does the world need more pre-Unknowing Jmart content? The answer is probably no, but have some anyway! You can read it on AO3, or check it out below:

Martin’s hands were shaking. He noticed that as he filled the kettle, heard the way the slight tremor made the water splash and slosh against the smooth metal.

He wished they weren’t. He wished for once he could maintain some sort of composure without his body betraying him with a tremor, or a stammer, or a blush. He wished it wasn’t so very obvious that he was terrified, but that was probably a lost cause. Jon was sitting just on the other side of the wall listening to the tape Martin had recorded, describing, at Jon’s insistence, all the things he thought and felt on the eve of the Unknowing, and there were quite a few things, really, that were probably far too obvious.

I need them to be safe. I need him to be okay.

Just don’t die, Jon. Or– or Tim, or Basira, or… Daisy, I guess.

He hadn’t meant to make the others sound like such an afterthought (or, not Tim and Basira, rather. Daisy he could take or leave; he’d never quite forgiven her for the whole attempted-murder thing) but, well, Jon had been on his mind recently. Jon, who was listening to that mortifying tape at this very moment. Jon, who had stayed in the Archives far too late on a night when he really ought to be getting some sleep. Jon, who Martin hadn’t said goodbye to, yet, because he didn’t know how. Jon, who Martin was making a cup of tea for, even though he hadn’t asked and probably didn’t want it, because he was desperate for an excuse to sit with him in the Archives for just a little while longer.

Jon, who might die tomorrow.

Martin’s hands were shaking again. He hardly noticed.

He took the tea bag out, tossed it into the bin, stirred in the sugar, added the milk. It was muscle memory by now. He didn’t have to think about it, which was usually a good thing, but today it just meant his thoughts were free to spiral.

There was nothing he could do. He knew that. The plans had all been made, the only thing left to do was wait for tomorrow, play his part, and hope for the best. That was all any of them could do. Fretting wasn’t going to help. But his mind kept turning, against his will, to the same fact: tomorrow, the last two friends he had in the world (or, if one were being very generous and assumed a level of amity from Melanie and Basira that he wasn’t sure he’d earned, three of the last four friends he had in the world) were going to drive to Great Yarmouth, and he didn’t know if they were ever coming back. In some ways, the end of the world was easier to think about.

He picked up the mug, but his hands were still shaking, and it slipped from his trembling fingers and shattered on the floor.

Martin felt something in him break as he stared down at the shards of ceramic – like tectonic plates shifting apart, leaving something yawning and empty and aching across the fault line of his chest. He’d thought he could do this one thing – this one tiny, pointless gesture – but he couldn’t even get that right.

He dropped to his knees without thinking and began picking the shards off the ground. There was a broom in the supply closet that he could have used if he'd stopped to consider his options, but that empty, cavernous space in his chest was quickly getting filled by panic, and his only thought was to clean up his mess as quickly as possible. He needed to fix this, needed to make things right, needed to at least hide the evidence of his failure.

“Martin? Are you alright?” Jon appeared in the doorway to the breakroom, eyes wide, looking as though he expected to be met with a supernatural horror and was prepared to fight it. His posture relaxed just slightly when he saw Martin, alone and unharmed, in the center of the room, though the alarm didn’t quite leave his face.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Martin said, and he hated the wobble in his voice, the high, tremulous note that made it sound like he was going to cry. “I, uh, I-I-I was going to bring you some tea, but well…”

“Here, let me help,” Jon started, taking a step toward Martin, and Martin scrambled to pick up the pieces.

“No, no, I’ve got it, I–” He caught his thumb on one of the sharp edges, and sucked in an involuntary breath. A bead of blood bloomed, small but startlingly red, across the cut.

Jon was on the floor beside him in an instant. “Let me see.”

“It’s fine,” he said, “it’s not that bad.” And it really wasn’t. It was a shallow thing that looked worse than it was, but Jon had taken Martin’s hand in both of his own and was looking over the cut with wide, dark, overserious eyes.

“I’ll get the first aid kit.”

“You really don’t need–” Martin started, but Jon was already on his feet.

“It’ll only take a second.” When he saw that Martin had opened his mouth to protest further, he added, “Humour me.”

Then he was off, leaving Martin alone on the floor of the breakroom.

Martin sighed. He stood up, walked over to the bin, and carefully tipped the shards of mug he had picked up into it.

Jon returned a moment later holding a broom and dustpan, with the office’s first aid kit tucked under one arm. He carefully toed around the remaining splatter of spilled tea and broken ceramic on the floor to lean the broom against the counter and set the first aid kit down before leading Martin to the sink and turning on the tap.

Jon guided his hand under the cool water, which is something Martin definitely could have done himself, but he didn’t argue this time. He was too distracted by once again having his injured hand cupped by both of Jon’s, Jon’s thin, calloused fingertips pressing gently but firmly into his palm. When the cut had been cleaned, Jon shut off the water and began rummaging through the first aid kit for a plaster of the right size.

Martin could only watch helplessly as Jon peeled the plastic off and discarded it. When he gestured for Martin to hold out his hand, Martin offered it up. He should have been embarrassed. It was embarrassing, the fuss Jon was making over a tiny little cut, but Jon was still handling his injury with such care, and staring at him with such concentration, as though Martin was the most important thing in the world, and he couldn’t find it in himself to mind.

He pressed the gauze to the soft pad of Martin’s thumb and took care not to hinder the motion of his knuckle when he wrapped the sides around it. His fingers lingered for a moment longer, smoothing out the bandage, before he finally dropped Martin’s hand.

“There,” he whispered.

“Thanks.”

Jon cleared his throat. “I thought you might have gone home.” He scratched delicately at the back of his neck, then added in a quiet murmur, “I, um. I’m glad you didn’t.”

“I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

There was a moment of silence, during which neither of them took the opportunity to say goodbye.

Martin was the one to break the silence. “I should, uh, I should really…” he stammered, grabbing the broom.

“R-Right.”

Martin swept up the remaining pieces of the mug and threw them away. When he turned around, Jon had grabbed a tea towel from beside the sink and was knelt on the floor mopping up the puddle of tea.

“You really don’t have to do that,” Martin said. He was beginning to feel like a broken record, but it was true. He didn’t want to spend these last precious moments before everything changed with Jon cleaning up his mess. 

“I don’t mind.” 

Martin thought about grabbing another towel and joining him, but he’d already gotten most of it. Jon gave the floor one last swipe, then looked down at the linoleum with a contemplative frown. “That’s probably good enough. I really should have mopped it up instead of just drying it, but, well… If tomorrow, the worst thing we can say is that there’s a sticky patch on the break room floor, I think we’ll consider ourselves lucky.” He huffed a quiet little laugh, but there was no real humour in it.

Martin hesitated. They were toeing dangerously close to the topic they’d been avoiding all night.

“Do you… want to talk about it?”

“Probably best if we don’t,” Jon whispered. “I might lose my courage, and, well… there’s little enough of that to go around.” He flashed Martin a sad, brave, lopsided smile.

It was the smile that did it. Martin knelt down beside Jon, ignoring the way the damp patch on the floor soaked through the knees of his trousers, and pulled him into a tight hug. Jon stiffened for a moment, surprised, before melting into the contact. His shoulders began to shake. Martin wasn’t sure if he was crying or simply shaking, but he squeezed him tighter nonetheless. He stroked a soothing hand down Jon’s spine, and Jon’s breath caught in his throat. Martin wondered for a second if he’d overstepped, but then Jon shifted, burying his face in Martin’s neck and taking long, deep, shuddering breaths.

Martin wanted to say something, but his words died on his lips. What was there to say? “It’s alright?” “Everything’s going to be okay?” It would be a hollow sentiment, and they’d both know it. “I’m worried, too,” would be more honest, but Jon knew that already. He’d listened to the tape.

Eventually, they had to pull apart. It was a slow, awkward affair, but when they’d finally extricated themselves from the tight tangle of limbs, they once again found themselves sat across from each other on the cold break room floor. Jon looked a mess. His glasses were askew, his collar was rumpled, and his hair was falling in his face in tousled waves.

Martin couldn’t help himself. He reached out with both hands and tucked Jon’s hair back behind his ears. For just a fraction of a second, Jon flashed him another lopsided smile. Martin knew he ought to pull away, but he let his hands linger, gently cupping the corners of Jon’s face, for a few moments longer. Jon’s eyes slipped closed, and he sighed. His brow was furrowed, his expression cloudy, but the sigh was one of the most contented sounds Martin had ever heard.

When Martin dropped his hands, Jon opened his eyes and studied Martin’s face. He seemed to struggle with himself, opening and closing his mouth several times as though beginning to say something before thinking better of it. Finally, he whispered, “Why me?”

“What?”

“Why am I the one you… make tea for, and invite out to lunch, and…” he trailed off, before repeating, more insistently, “Why me? When I thought you might have killed Gertrude, I could make sense of it. Y-You were throwing suspicion off yourself, trying to get me to let my guard down so you could kill me,” he said. “But now, I’m fairly sure you aren’t going to murder me, so why?”

“I like making tea.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” Martin said, because he did. “But… it sort of is, though. I like making you tea, and I like having lunch with you, I just– I like spending time with you! I care about you, Jon. You make it sound like I’m making some big sacrifice by loving you, but–” Martin realized what he said half a second after he said it. “Sorry, that’s not– I didn’t mean– that isn’t what I meant to–” he corrected, frantically, before giving up. He sighed, and dropped his gaze so he wouldn’t have to look Jon in the eye as he muttered, “I mean, I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now. Everyone else has.”

“I… suspected,” Jon admitted softly. “But I wasn’t sure. I thought it might have been wishful thinking on my part.”

Martin risked a glance at Jon. He expected to see embarrassment in his face, or pity, or even scorn. Instead, he saw only the satisfaction of someone who had just come to a decision.

Jon reached out and put a hand on Martin’s jaw, gently pulling him closer, and leaned forward, tilting his face up towards Martin’s. He moved slowly, as though waiting for Martin to pull away, or to lean in. Martin did neither.

“Don’t,” he whispered instead. Their faces were so close that his lips nearly brushed against Jon’s as he spoke. “Don’t do this just because the world might end.”

Jon pulled back slightly, and blinked at him. “Is that what you think?”

Martin didn’t respond. “Yes,” was the answer, but it would have sounded like an accusation. And Martin knew that Jon wasn’t trying to be cruel. He probably thought it was a kindness, to give Martin the one thing they both knew he wanted before everything went wrong, and to find some comfort himself in the process. 

“Martin, I… I care about you, too,” Jon whispered. “I’m not very good at showing it – well, no, I’m terrible at showing it – but I do care. I think about you all the time. Even when I was kidnapped. Even when I thought you were trying to kill me. I…” he swallowed, and his fingers moved to tangle in Martin’s hair. “I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time,” he whispered, face still so close to Martin’s, “but only if you want it, too.”

Martin leaned forward, and their lips met.

The kiss was chaste at first, cautious, but it didn’t take long before it grew heated. Jon’s lips were feverish, hungry, and fierce, and Martin could feel an answering hunger awaken in him. He brought his hands to the back of Jon’s head to give himself some leverage as he pressed deeper into the kiss, and Jon tightened his grip on Martin’s hair, tugging lightly on the shaggy locks that curled behind his ear. Jon nipped at his bottom lip, and Martin let out a noise that really should have been embarrassing. He couldn’t quite remember what embarrassment was meant to feel like, though.

For a moment, the Circus didn’t exist. The Unknowing didn’t exist. The damp patch on the knees of Martin’s trousers, and the shattered mug in the bin, and the cut on Martin’s hand didn’t exist. Nothing existed but Jon – Jon’s hand in his hair, Jon’s breath against his cheek, Jon’s lips, migrating from Martin’s mouth down to his jaw and then down further to press, eager and hot, against his throat.

“Jon,” he whispered, the only thing he could think to say, the only word in the universe at that moment.

And Jon whispered back, desperate and dear, “Martin.”

Martin wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. Long enough that his knees began to grow sore from being pressed against the cold, hard floor. 

“I love you,” Jon murmured when they finally pulled apart.

“You don’t have to say that just because I said–”

“I know I don’t,” Jon said. “But it’s true.”

“Oh.” Martin didn’t know what to say to that. He pressed a kiss to Jon’s hairline in lieu of a response, and because he could. When he did find his voice, what he said was, “You have to come back tomorrow. You don’t get to say all this to me and then die.”

Jon huffed a quiet laugh. “Well, if you insist…”

“I mean it.”

Martin looked down at his hands, and found that they were shaking again. Jon followed his gaze, and wrapped Martin’s trembling hands in his own.

“I’ll try. I promise.”

And that was, as much as Martin wished it wasn’t, all either of them could do.

[missmarveledsblog]

I'll show you different ( Joel Miller x reader ) part two

Summary : news of peaches arrival spreads through town , she gets a visit from the sheriff after her lawyer contacts him . little bye little peach is opening up to the new found friends of hers .

Warnings : mentions and allusions to past domestic abuse , learning to be free of the past , slow burn , no outbreak au

Wildfires didn’t spread as quickly as the news of Y/N arrival back to town, all they heard was about the run away and her family history all different versions of events where hushed like whispers  some stated she ran  because her mother made her , some  decided she was as bad as her father other just saw a scared kid but either way they all had an opinion on the matter . she notice when she would go into town whether it was for groceries ,  take out or even simple errand all eyes on her , mouths moving to their own agenda on the matter.  No one cared to hear the truth  and the truth wouldn’t of mattered not when their minds were already made it . she was starting to think it was bad idea , she felt suffocated under their view.

The miller brothers heard it all , they heard the whispers or out right warnings to stay away when it came to the life of y/n it was nothing but trouble or she brought trouble where ever she went. 

“ she ain’t trouble , she good girl who got caught in a shit storm that life threw her” maria said . the woman was good friends with Y/N’s mother grace , she seen it all from the teen girl with stars in her eyes to the broken one with no light in them at all . 

“ we know that , she nice i mean she shy as hell but she nice girl” tommy nodded along to his brothers words . she  didn’t interact much he chalked it down to wary of strangers and giving the horrendous past she suffered by her father he didn’t blame her one bit . 

“ smart girl two she used to drop by sunday morning to get the empty bottle and cans to recycle i realized she got money fer em but i didn’t mind saved me money on dumpster fees ” the bartender jimmy chuckled placing their drinks down . 

“ she was trying to save money so her and her mama could get new house poor thing” maria sighed sadly the whole thing still haunted her decade later it kept her up sometimes thinking what if she done something different. 

“ her dad still alive?” tommy asked. 

“ sadly yes although death would be too good fer um i hope he’s suffering til his last breathe for what he did” she shuddered . 

It wasn’t all bad being home she had few good people in her corner one being the sherif  , a pie in hand  from his wife . 

“ you look kid” he smiled softly maybe the guilt was eating at him for not helping sooner she presumed  why he was stood at her front door.  Wasn’t his fault he tried but he was only a deputy at the time one that no one gave time of day either. 

“ thanks for this it looks yummy i’ll share it with my pop when he comes by later” she said moving to the side letting him enter . “ it’s a mess just fixing it up” she explain as he  seen the boxes all about . 

“ no need to apologize at all , reason i’m here is because a lawyer got in contact with me yesterday about a restraining order transferring it to this state , are you in trouble?” he asked, arching his brow. Her tensing told him all he needed to know. 

“ figure Nathan would make sure things were legit , it’s just incase my ex husband shows up which he won't , he don’t know i’m here i wont cause no problem sherif” she began rambling her hands shaking to point she nearly dropped the pie . 

“ aint what i ask sweet girl , you in trouble?” he asked softer. 

“ you know that saying girls marry their father well  i proved that one right  i got divorced thinking that it would end but didn’t he followed me everywhere i went til my friends decided i needed to coming get away somewhere he would never find me , i never told him where i was from at first was cause i didn’t want him to pity me or see me as weak but i guess he already spotted that one like he sniffed it out, one night he was locked up  , they packed my stuff up gave me a car and told me to go as far away as possible  , nathan and his wife mia  , nathan got me the divorce , the restraining orders and everything” she sat tear falling down her cheeks , her heart hurting in her chest. 

“  He passed on some reports and pictures too , you need me  kid  , don’t matter if it's day or night you call me here’s my personal cell and home phone you can’t get me in station well you ring me here” he  patted her back . “ failed you before it ain’t happening again , i ain’t told anyone about this either  except my wife she never been one fer gossip” he smiled wiping her tear away. 

“ Thanks sherif” she sniffled. 

“ What can i do you for ron” john cleared his throat seeing the patrol car parked out front. 

“ it’s ok pop he’s just checking if i’m ok nathan contacted him” she stood. 

“ he’s not here is he”  her grandfathers eyes widened. 

“ nah but if he ever does be a sorry son of a bitch that’s for sure” sheriff shook his head. 

“ I made chili, would you like to stay for some” she called walking into the kitchen . 

“ you know what i think i will smell great ” he chuckled .

“ best chili in texas” her grandfather relaxed patting the  man on the back as they walked in only to see joel and tommy miller standing at her door worried. “ y’all want some chili” he asked . 

“ do they know?” he whispered.

“ know what?” joel asked as she  walked out . 

“ i’m on the run and sheriff here to collect his bounty” she joked . 

“ about her daddy , i’m sure towns folk told em” john lied . 

“ come on food will be cold by time your finish gossiping like sewing circle” she rolled her eyes  although she hating people lying for her some time it was easier  , less in the mess of her life  was the best.

“ yes ma’am “ the called in unison . 

What she didn’t know the one invitation seem to open to more , soon the millers or sherif aswell his wife would drop by more  and more.  The brother would help with her renovations when they could and she in turn would pay them in food although she was so close off she was opening up little bits . she stopped flinching at loud noises , stop giving them clearly fake reason to not help it was little victory both men and her grandfather were happy to see . 

Today they were painting the living room  her grandfather , miss benson and sheriff and his wife sat in the kitchen apparently they nagged too much so like kids were shift out of site til john here it  , the sound that had him almost knocking his chair to the floor  in the rush to the source. 

There she was running away from joel who chased her and tommy with a paint brush laughter coming from her mouth a sound he hasn’t heard in such along time it brought tears to his eyes as the other smiled fondly on . 

“ pop you ok” she stood worry lacing her feature. 

“ i’m fine peach , just good to see you happy” he smiled wiping his cheeks . 

“ well i hope they don’t act like this on the site” she laughed again as tommy stuck his tongue out at her. 

“ nah they’re worse” he chuckled heading her way not caring for her protests of paint all over her  hell he swim in a pool of paint for that smile he thought was lost forever . 

“ he’s gone so soft in his old age” miss benson teased . 

“I ain’t old” he shot back . 

“ young at heart” peach laughed louder. 

Part three