#gender terms

[kitofawriter]

Is there a gender neutral word like “dude”? Because honestly I use dude so frequently and as a gender neutral term that I fear one day I’ll use it regarding a trans person who doesn’t like it and I want to have a different option so I can immediately switch.

Like to me (a nonbinary person who 0% identifies with masc stuffs) dude is an all encompassing term, like partner, but I recognize that not everyone feels that way and want to be ready to avoid hurting anyone.

[ix-c-999]

gncplurid

A plurid in which the system collectively identify as gender non-conforming, even if not all individual members do. This will probably involve collectively presenting as GNC, but it can involve anything.

[This post has no DNI other than not to involve it in discourse, mockery, or other harassment]

[gnc-culture-is]

hmmm i guess i'll ask a question i asked someone else. for me gender wise, "boy" and "girl" feel very indistinct from each other. i dont feel like bigender is a good label bc im not a boy AND a girl, theyre the same thing to me. im "both at once" but there isnt really a both... its not "a mix of pink and blue" its just "purple and purple" if that makes any sense. is there a word for this somewhere?

I will say that “bigender” doesn’t have to mean “and” but can mean “indistinct from one another.” … let’s see what I can dig up. You may find androgyne to be of some use to you. You may also want to dig into the concept of midbinary genders in general.

[xenodelic]

madeitthefuckupgender

[flora-tea]

Wanted to make my own one of those pronouns and terms card/template things and decided to share! Feel free to use for yourself and/or your OCs and/or headcanons! :)

*Also definitely feel free to alter any colors however you'd like!

Template color variants:

[yelyahnaloj]

My personal review Western terms for someone who is not a man or woman, in order of appearance:

Androgyne (earliest use pre-1150):

****(four stars) I was first attracted to the term "androgynous" because it sounded like ambiguous and that is exactly what I felt about my gender. However, "androgynous" is typically referring to presentation or physical characteristics rather than identity. Androgyne is the closest term relating to identity to that word. I am a little conflicted that the term is ambiguously used for both non-conforming people and intersex people. Mostly because I am not sure how the intersex community would feel about that, but I personally don't mind it because when I was first trying to figure out my gender, the first thing I started looking for was intersex conditions rather realizing that my gender confusion was "all in my head". I also like the term androgyne because I feel caught in the world of not being a woman or a man, but feeling as though I have to figure out my identity in relation to both and "pick a side". It acknowledges my need for balance and that separating my "masculine" and "feminine" side creates a violent civil war. Because the term is so old, it also connects me with history, such as Autobiography of an Androgyne (1918!) I do understand its limits as not everyone who is neither a man or woman would consider themselves any sort of mixture or androgyny. The term is getting increasingly rare, which is sad, but sort of understandable.

Tomboy (earliest use mid-1500s):

**(two stars) Not technically a gender identity separate from the binary, but deserves an honorable mention. It is used as the girl equivalent as how "androgyne" was sometimes used for effeminate males. Of course, I had no words for someone who was not a man or a woman as a kid, so "tomboy" holds a special place in my heart as the closest word available to me at the time. In my understanding as a kid, I essentially thought there were four genders. There were girls who identified with their assigned gender, they were "girly-girls"; there were girls who rejected their assigned gender, those were "tomboys"; there were masculine boys and there were effeminate boys (I forgot the terms I used at the time). Although I didn't wholeheartedly reject femininity, I considered myself a proud tomboy because it was the only term I knew who someone who was born with my assigned gender didn't feel connected to it. My evidence at the time was playing in the mud, climbing trees, rejecting beauty standards, having a crude sense of humor, ultimately rejecting makeup, liking STEM and daydreaming about adventures, and being attracted to less cute animals such as bugs. Although now I know people who identify with my AGAB can like those things, too, at the time I held those things close to my heart as "proof" I wasn't actually a girl.

Genderqueer (earliest use 1990s):

*****(five stars) This is my favorite term by far. I am disappointed that it is falling out of use. I like the genderqueer flag colors better than the nonbinary flag colors (I don't like the yellow). I like the aesthetics of the name and the connection of gender to queerness. I like that it essentially connects the whole community of people who fall outside the binary as well as people who are gender nonconforming. Before I committed to saying I was nonbinary, I was gender nonconforming. They are two sides of the same coin, with people "failing" (whether on purpose, or through circumstance) their assigned genders. It also feels like it connects us to the wider queer community. Although I know that gender and sexuality are different, for many of us they inform one another and completely teasing one out from the other doesn't make sense. It's hard to be "straight-passing" if I don't pass as straight even if I am in a "straight passing" relationship or if I am single. Especially in a world struggling to accept trans people, to the public I am seen as queer first... because of my gender presentation. This term was first in use around the time I was born, though I wasn't aware of it until it was getting out of fashion. I think I found it as a teenager because I had a dream about my gender identity and I kept seeing the colors green and purple, which became my new favorite colors, and I wanted to see if those colors were of symbolic significance so I googled it. This term also connects me to older media to people who felt very similar to me pre-tumblr (such as Genderqueer: voices beyond the sexual binary)

Non-binary (earliest recorded- gender- use 1990s?):

***(three stars) Non-binary is in many ways by far my least favorite, and is only being rated above "tomboy" because at least it succeeds in (somewhat) divorcing its identity from its AGAB (still seems to be stereotyped as femme-drogynous AFABs who try to break the binary without making the radfems too scared). As soon as I learned the term, when I was about 17, I had instantly hated and rejected it even though I was coming into the awareness of being trans and knowing I felt outside the gender binary. I felt crushed. It is so brutally abstract and cold, virtually an abstract concept rather than something that invites real people to identify with. Its very concept feels like it has a target on it that says "debate me, I'll lose". It immediately let me know that my perception of my gender was entirely in my head, and the only "proof" I could give people is my own word. About a decade later, I still question whether I am "really" non-binary, even though I relate to almost every account of people identifying outside the binary, because it sits way too adjacent to the binary trans "born this way" narrative to where I imagine that I am supposed to find this little abstract box in my head where my "non-binary" is kept. I didn't even know what non-binary was when I was a kid, so I can't say that I have always considered myself to be "non-binary" specifically, only that I was a non-conforming kid who wasn't satisfied with being assigned a gender. When you are young and you are looking for people who look like you, history, comfort, something that validates your experience and your body, this term is like F- You, here's a vague definition and a flag and maybe a handful of websites that act as gender PR for cis people telling them how they are supposed to address us. It is still very hard to find first hand accounts of non-binary individuals that feel grounded in everyday experiences, and don't sound like there's a marketing team keeping a close eye one them or that they will let the whole world down if they don't stick to the script and say the approved message. The whole existence of being non-binary (which I am, it is reluctantly my primary identity for the last almost decade because it is the most widely used term, currently, for what I am) has shifted the focus from having the freedom of self expression and experimentation, to having to defend an identity over and over and over that gives you very little to work with until you forget why you are identifying with it in the first place and what it means to you. It is surrounded by a culture that is so defensive in using the "right terms" that it is almost entirely divorced itself from its history and is re-writing the wheel to the extent that it's hard to divorce the concept from Tumblr and the internet, or find info about it pre-2010. Its immediate association is "pronouns" which is a grammatical concept not everyone even remembers. Pronouns are so intertwined with the concept of non-binary that if people forget the term, they just call me a "they" or a "them" (incorrectly using it as a noun), then people (incorrectly) get so used to "they/them" being associated with non-binary that if you use them at all then you are (correctly in my case) automatically considered non-binary when gender neutral pronouns (like the gender neutral terms "sibling" or "parent") can be used for anyone. Additionally, I dislike introducing my pronouns, but I will continue to do so until I stop being "she/her"'d and gender neutral pronouns become more popular. "Non-binary" is a term that at once is stretched to it's limits in inclusiveness (there's no test, you just need to claim it), and yet somehow still feels small and suffocating (the claim needs constant guard, and despite the lack of qualifications needed, there is still a persistent doubt that you could be using the word wrong or you will look away for a second and you would accidentally pass too much for a binary gender, which although is allowed, makes it much harder to argue your point).

On the positive side, there have been strides in structural inclusiveness (online, corporately, in government) that owes a lot to the term non-binary and its famous "pronouns". As a college student, I can and have requested that I share an apartment with people with my gender identity (non-binary) which get's me outside the internet and immersed in real community. I can wear my pronouns at work. There have been amazing strides that I would not have been able to imagine a decade ago. I also like the privacy the word "non-binary" affords, it is the gender equivalent of N/A (not applicable). It gives you almost no information on your relation to gender, but it says "none of your damn business".

[fedorahead]

Gender neutral partner titles

My husband and I are both autistic and experience gender and sexuality through that lens. While he's less worried with trying to define himself, I have been struggling as I am definitely a guy, but recently have been seeing a lot more fluidity....... Like, both of us fall solidly under "autigender" but of course that's just one term for it. Anyway... terminology for the actual definition/experience isn't super relevant.

He's been calling me his husband, which felt very comfortable for the past year, but as my gender has been a lot more wibbly-wobbly lately... I feel like it's too gendered and not quite encompassing enough.

Does anyone have any suggestions for gender neutral titles that are a little more intimate than "spouse" or "partner"?

So far my only idea has been copilot which isn't really... the right thing. Partner-in-crime would be more appropriate for our relationship (lol) but is kind of wordy............

I figured if anyone had endearing ways married autists could refer to each other, it'd be tumblr lol

[dragonstepp]

I was this old when I learned another term

Remember my age when I learn what letters mean when talking about sex/gender. I use straight - tonight my friend told me what cis meant.

You never get to old to learn - because people come up with new slang/old meanings when talking about esoteric terms.

carol in austin

[lgbtqiarchive]

Disvir/devir: de-identification or disidentification towards male identity and/or presentation

Disera/deera: de-identification or disidentification towards female identity and/or presentation

Debinary/disbinary: de-identification or disidentification towards binary identity and/or presentation

[lux-the-demonic-fae]

New Gender Term

Hey, so I go by Lux on here and I recently made some flags and a term that describes how I feel about my gender. Now, I know this won't connect with a ton of people because it's a tad bit... specifc, but I'd still like to share it.

The term is "altegender". It means "a gender that is a mix between both binaries and a third gender, but also has some connection to the body".

This is the original flag that I made. The pink represents any feminine gender, blue represents any masculine gender, while purple represents mixed genders and the grey represents other identities.

Now, I also made 2 other flags.

The first flag has the most commonly used symbol for mental health problems. This was made with AMAB people in mind, because AMAB people tend to have to struggle silently with mental health.

The second flag has the most commonly used symbol for female power and female rights. This was made with AFAB people in mind because (for me, at least) I am so involved in politics concerning female issues because of my body.

I also made this combination of the three as a kinda "un-gendered" and "un-sexed" flag, because I know some people might identify with this flag more. I also wanted to make a united flag because AMAB aren't the only ones that struggle with mental health and AFAB aren't the only ones interested in female issues.

The reason why I decided to make these flags and term is because I have gone through many terms from agender to trans because I couldn't find anything more specific that made me feel connected to it. The closest thing I found was "scorpigender" on pride-color-scheme's blog, which is defined as a "mysterious gender. Many terms and labels can partially describe it, but no label fully encompasses it". This term was a zodiac-inspired term and didn't fully label me, but it was the closest thing I could find until I decided to make these.

Tagging @pride-color-schemes in hopes that they may add this to their archives so this label and flags are easier to find.

[identity-of-today]

Heyo! For 01/06/2023 these are what feel best for me!

Gender!

Ambonec: a nonbinary gender identity in which a person identifies as female, male, and neither, at the same time.

Orientation!

Demisexual: When a person feels sexually attracted to someone only after they've developed a close emotional bond with them

Greyromantic: A person on the aromantic spectrum (aro-spec) who experiences romantic attraction infrequently, weakly, only under certain circumstances, or uncertainly.

Pronouns!

He/Fae/They

[ohchr-news]

(via Transgender Remembrance: Freeing Ourselves, Freeing Others – josh blakesley)

Terminology: Gender Identity:  a person’s innate, deeply felt sense of being male or female (sometimes even both or neither) Gender Expression: external, and based on individual and societal conceptions and expectations Transgender: gender identity does not match their assigned birth sex Gender Fluid: a more flexible range of expression, with interests and behaviors that may even change from day to day. Gender Queer: a fluidity of gender expression that is not limiting.

[ix-c-999]

femaleroleic/womanroleic/girlroleic

A roleic term for a system member whose role, status, or experience as a system member involves being female or a woman/girl in some way. This may involve: -a female identity holder -a trauma holder for trauma related to this identity -helping the system process their gender-related feelings -having a transition-related role in a trans system However, it can involve anything. The difference between this and femroleic is that that term is about femininity as a presentation, whereas this is about femaleness as a gender. Additionally, this is about female as a gender completely independent of sex.

[This post has no DNI other than not to involve it in discourse, mockery, or other harassment]

[b-is-for-borderline]

This is your random reminder that "Girl" was orginally a gender neutral expression to refer to a child.

As a random historical note, the reason why it became associated with females is cause during the later stages of the hundred years war, the English court began purging french terms to undermine the French claims to English-controlled regions like Normandy

This included yeeting the word for male attendant (Vaslet / Valet) and replacing it with Boye. This replacement trickled down the social ladder by usage to the point all young males were called it. (Also this was a time when skilled labour was exploading due to the renaissance, so more young males were being servants/apprentices, boyes, and less were being peasants). This meant that "Gyrle" (girl) lost half its meaning, with the only people it applied to anymore were females.

So just remember that gendered terminology has a very long history of changing definitions, and is no where near as set as certain groups like to exclaim.

[empyrangel]

Smokefirephrasic

A gender related to the phrase “Where there’s smoke there’s fire.”

[war-horseman]

Oh my gosh folx

I've been looking through tumblr more and more and like.

It feels so good to have people use the terms I coined.

Recently saw shifterfluid and like.

Bruh that's ME. I made that x)))

I've been in and out of tumblr for years. For a while I was a mod (and I believe admin for a minute) on uncommon genders.

I coined terms (a lot I don't remember), and shifterfluid was always my favorite because that was the first time I made a term and flag from scratch.

So anyone who uses my terms, I dunno I feel like you're my kiddos in a way.

Sorry if that's weird lol.