Tumgik
#have they finally learned to make shows for the gays?!!
Text
These immortal beings walked...they fucking averted the end of the world with their unconventional love affair, mama...
Tumblr media
...so that these messy immortal bitches could FUCK!!!!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
45 notes · View notes
crossbackpoke-check · 10 months
Note
18 + swaymark!!
oooo thank you!!
#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark
okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.
#…this so is not a five sentence summary but ALSO this manages to perfectly align with something i was obsessed with (that media video)#like yeah is that pause reasonably a buffering time to a weird question? yes!!! do i want to read into it & make swayman a bit uncomfortabl#also yes!!! sorry i decided to give them tragique but they were assigned by spotify. the other option for this song was an ED fix-it fic#about healthy sex and learning that it can be a part of a normal relationship!! sex is weird and fucked up!! but like. that’s just because#i have always interpreted this song as a) unrequited best friend love & you’re worried you’re gonna fuck it up b) virgin who doesn’t know#what sex is and is scared to tell anyone and then option c) people pleaser keeps going along with it but can’t anymore#also OBVIOUSLY they end up fine. whether that ends up being jeremy finally telling linus (oblivious) i don’t want to do this with you#i need to get over you & them creating a platonic space & sway ends up with someone else OR linus has the oh. true. i simply never#considered that i could be gay for you option OR the one i have just invented but is now my favorite because i love a good polycule is that#linus & his wife simply add jeremy to their relationship. and then this song becomes jeremy scared to have sex with linus’ wife at first lo#liv in the replies#the interviews in that video doing the lord’s work fr but also that ‘do you not miss him’ feels SO uncomfortable. say no! but then he leans#in with the dirty jokes comment & i know i’ve made like eight variations already (sorry. that’s how my brain works) but it is soooo fun#to me personally if they are broken up but now have to act nice & keep doing all these rituals & sell us on the narrative & they’re just#trying to see who’s going to crack first. needle each other into laughing or getting irritated enough it shows through & the other one wins#do even more aggressive hug rituals!! get a medical warning from the athletic training staff!!!
9 notes · View notes
miami2k17 · 10 months
Text
i genuinely did enjoy ofmd in the end but killing izzy was so fucked up man. u cant spend 8 episodes giving someone that kind of beautiful character development and then just kill him with an offhand random gunshot. or at all. it's giving 15 seasons just to die on a rusty nail
0 notes
pikp0kcas3 · 7 months
Text
The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality
Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!
I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.
One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.
Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.
It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.
So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.
It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.
When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.
But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.
Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.
But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!
Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?
Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.
Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.
And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.
But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
fattystoriez · 1 month
Text
Preston’s 18th Birthday
Content Warning: Incest, Homophobic Slurs, Weight Gain
Tumblr media
Preston was a normal teenage boy, except for the fact that he was adopted by a gay couple when he was born. His mother didn’t want him and he learned that some time after he was born, she died. He knew nothing about his biological father, but he never stopped looking, his dads didn’t even know who his father was. His dads were great, but Preston never stopped wondering what life would be like had he been raised by his biological father.
A couple months ago, Preston’s biological father reached out through Facebook. His profile had no pictures and seemed to be new, but he had the DNA test from when he was born to prove his relation. His name is Travis, he’s in his mid 40’s and he is a construction worker. Despite not knowing what his dad looks like, Preston started to talk with his dad more and more. His two dads suggested that he meet his father for his 18th birthday before the party, Preston thought this was a great idea and so did his dad. So they had made plans to meet, he would chat and have lunch and come back to his house for his party.
Preston’s Birthday
Tumblr media
Preston woke up to a massive aching boner, one that was begging to be released. “Oh GOD!” He moaned loudly as he grabbed the hard on, his underwear soaked in precum. “Fuck I don’t have time to take care of this” Preston thought, “I’ll just take a shower and maybe it’ll chill out.”Preston’s cock calmed down after he took cold shower, but he could help but notice that he was still very horny. He threw on a t-shirt, a pair of briefs and some gym shorts. Preston checked his phone, it was 11:30am already, he needed to hurry or he’d be late for lunch with his dad. He went downstairs saying bye to his dads, got into his car and headed towards Travis’s place, his cock slowly leaking precum the whole way there.
Preston noticed as he was getting closer that his dad lived in a trailer park, which was fitting given he is a construction worker. He didn’t realize how nice he had it with his dads, living in a suburban home with a nice new car and electronics. Travis would barely be able to afford rent let alone all of Preston’s nice commodities. Preston knocked on the door, he heard heavy footsteps walk towards the door and it swung open to reveal Travis.
Tumblr media
Travis was HUGE! His tight orange shirt couldn’t even cover his massive belly, and his underwear… or are they shorts??? They looked tight on his waist. His face was covered by a bushy beard, hair that the top of his head lacked. He still has some hair around the sides of his head, which only added to his grotesque appearance. “Preston!” The massive bear of a man said with a thick southern accent, he squeezed Preston in a tight hug, the contact making his cock leak some pre cum. “I’m so glad you’re finally here, I’ve been waiting to watch- I mean… see you all day!”
Travis showed Preston into the trailer, it was dingy and grimy, Travis clearly doesn’t know how to pick up after himself. Preston could tell he also didn’t smell the best, having a very distinct and vile musk that emanated from him “I’ve been excited too…” Preston noticed the massive amount of food that was over in the kitchen area. “Is that… for lunch today?” Preston was confused, there was no way two people could eat that much, even if Travis was a massive hog.
“Of course it for lunch big guy! You’re 18!” Travis said that as if Preston should know what that means, it was then that Preston felt his stomach gurgle in hunger. “But let’s start with your birthday cake, I made it special myself.” Travis walked Preston to the dining table and pulled out the most delicious cake Preston has ever seen.
“Oh you really didn’t have to do this much, there’s no way I’m eating all of this.” Preston said as he sat down, Travis cutting him a slice of cake. “Oh it chocolate, that’s actually my favorite.” Preston took a bite of the cake and it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten in his life, it even made his cock stand back up. “Oh god… this is good!”
“I thought you might like it, made it with my own secret recipe.” Travis went behind Preston, massaging his shoulders as his son starts to pig out on the rest of the cake. “It’s a tradition for men in our family to eat like this on their 18th birthday, son.” Preston couldn’t stop himself from eating more of the cake, he couldn’t process what was going on. “When men in our family hit adulthood, we grow quickly into slobbish pigs.”
Preston was having a hard time processing the information, he couldn’t stop eating the cake long enough to worry about what was happening to him. “Oh god… daddy what’s happening to me?” Preston’s voice started to have a light souther accent that could barely be heard through the chewing.
Tumblr media
Preston’s body started to plump up quickly, his abs from his years in track were fading away. “You can’t stop the change, son.” Travis started to feed Preston once the cake was gone, “Your faggot daddies couldn’t have prepared you for this son, they wouldn’t know what to do with a pig like you.” Preston’s head was spinning, his body getting fatter and fatter as his body gives in to his DNA.
Tumblr media
Preston’s once smooth chest has pumped into two soft moobs that jiggled with every bite, his jawline started to fade as the fat started to accumulate. Preston was in a blissfully perverted shock as his whole life was being ruined by this pig of a man, his cock rock hard was leaking like a faucet, soaking his underwear. “Daddy… I’m getting so fat…” Preston moaned in between foods, “w-why do I sound like this daddy… w-“
“Shhhhhh” Travis shushed Preston as he shoved a greasy slice of pizza into his mouth. “You’re becoming just like your daddy, and your daddies daddy, as so on. You come from a long line of perverted hogs.” Travis gripped Preston’s cock with his other hand, “my daddy helped me out exactly like this, fattened me up real good.” Travis pumped Preston’s leaking cock as he told him how much of a pig he was going to become. “You’re gonna love it boy, you’ll be able to turn other men into fat hogs just like us. It one of our many talents, one that I can’t wait for you to use.” Preston was in a fattening bliss, listening to the hypnotic words coming out of his daddies mouth as he played with his own fattening body.
“Oh daddy… daddy I’m gonna-“ Preston released, soaking his underwear and his dad’s hand, this act of finishing sealed Preston’s already inevitable fate. “Oh god daddy, look what you’ve done to me…”
Tumblr media
Preston’s belly was as big as his daddies, he couldn’t stop jiggling the soft flesh that had taken over his body. “I didn’t do nothin’ boy, this was your natural calling.” Travis took a doughnut, wiped Preston’s cum into it and fed it to his son.
After Preston was done chewing his specially glazed doughnut he wondered who he could make into a fat piggy himself, the he thought of his faggoty dads. “Let’s go visit my dads, daddy!”
“Of course boy, those faggots are gonna piss their pants when they see how big you’ve grown.” Travis helped Preston up and walked his half-naked fat ass to Travis’s pickup truck, the two whales could barely fit in it together. “We’ve got a party to get to, boy.”
Part 2?
505 notes · View notes
candyskiez · 1 year
Text
so, you've heard shows be recommended because they had gay characters. you don't really know what they're actually about though, and don't know if they'd be something you'd be into and are worried about spoilers. here's spoiler free plot summaries of em!
Tumblr media
The Owl House
The Owl House starts out as a typical teenage girl goes into a fantasy realm story, but with a twist. Actions have consequences. The protagonist is a girl named Luz Noceda, who was being sent to a camp to make her behave normally by her mother after causing too much trouble at school. She ends up finding a place she's always dreamed of: a fantasy world. A world where everyone's so much weirder than she is. And she thinks, maybe if I don't belong out there, maybe people will like me here. Maybe I can be special here.
It's a story about found family, propaganda, erased history, living with disability, religious trauma, and neurodivergence. It's fundamentally a show about people who's brains work differently finding each other and making a family that treats them right. Definitely my favorite of the ones on this list. It's about people who've been oppressed being pissed about it and about finding yourself again after giving up on everyone around you for so long. It's basically a show about being a minority and trying to be understood and to understand yourself in the process. It's about growing up neurodivergent and how isolating it feels and figuring yourself out. It's about repairing broken relationships and parents who fuck up. And it's just. Such a love letter to anyone who was the weird kid in school. It's sad and heartbreaking and also so hopeful, and it's wonderful.
Content warnings: Abuse, Death, Grief, Animal Death, Suicidal thoughts, Vague suicide attempts, Depression, blink and you'll miss it s/h, body horror, religious trauma
Tumblr media
She Ra and the Princesses Of Power
Adora was raised in the Horde since she was a baby, being fed propaganda about how cruel the princesses were. After learning how the horde actually was, though, she defects. But there's one problem. Her best friend, Catra, stays behind. Adora finds a sword that can transform her into She Ra, and might be the key to figuring out who she really is, while Catra takes her place as force captain.
It's a story about abuse, at the end of the day. Adora and Catra were stuck in a golden child and scapegoat dynamic, despite how much they care about each other. This leads to them knowing everything about each other but not understanding it. There's a fundamental disconnect between them, because both of their traumas are completely different. They have complete misconceptions about each other. Even in their initial split, they both have completely different perceptions of what's going on and why the other is upset. It's not a story about magic princesses, it's about the cycle of abuse and what makes it so complicated. Does it have flaws? Yeah. But ultimately I really really enjoy it, and when it does something right it does something RIGHT. Get through season one, it starts kids show-y but it gets very good during later s1.
Content warnings: Abuse (obviously), body horror, gaslighting (and I mean actual gaslighting, not what the Internet thinks gaslighting is), suicide, depression, flashing lights and eyestrain during the finale
Tumblr media
Steven Universe
Steven Universe is a sins of the father story. Steven is the son of the leader of the rebel group The Crystal Gems, who's name was Rose Quartz. He navigates the confusion of being half gem and half human, as well as trying to figure out the mess of the rebellion and what his mother left behind. He's constantly in her shadow, for better or for worse.
It's a story about grief. How it impacts relationships, how it taints history, how it impacts family. It has some definite flaws, but ultimately it's about very flawed people who have lost so many people in their life trying to cope with it. Trying to handle what they lost and trying to adjust to life without them. It's about how expectations fuck a kid up and about agency and just a show about complicated relationships in general, at the end of the day. Also, it has some FANTASTIC music.
Content warnings: Grief, Abuse, body horror, very creepy people I don't know how to tag, heavy allegories for homophobia
Tumblr media
Nimona
Nimona is a story about a guy who gets framed for murder. His name is Ballister Boldheart, a commoner who hoped to become a knight. It seemed everyone was waiting to watch him fail, so it was no surprise when he was the immediate target. Heavily injured and away from the man he loves, he's left alone trying to figure out a way to prove his innocence- until a strange kid comes into his life. This kids name is Nimona, and while he is intent on proving his innocence, she gave up on being anything but a villain a long time ago.
It's about deconstructing the model minority myth, trans rage, propaganda, and with a healthy dose of "FUCK the police".
Content warnings: Heavy injury, on screen suicide attempt, flashing lights
feel free to add more shows! just remember to keep the summaries as spoiler free as you can and add content warnings!
2K notes · View notes
itsawritblr · 8 months
Text
Holy shit, the New York Times is FINALLY interviewing and listening to detransistioners.
The tide is turning.
Opinion by Pamela Paul
As Kids, They Thought They Were Trans. They No Longer Do.
Feb. 2, 2024
Tumblr media
Grace Powell was 12 or 13 when she discovered she could be a boy.
Growing up in a relatively conservative community in Grand Rapids, Mich., Powell, like many teenagers, didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin. She was unpopular and frequently bullied. Puberty made everything worse. She suffered from depression and was in and out of therapy.
“I felt so detached from my body, and the way it was developing felt hostile to me,” Powell told me. It was classic gender dysphoria, a feeling of discomfort with your sex.
Reading about transgender people online, Powell believed that the reason she didn’t feel comfortable in her body was that she was in the wrong body. Transitioning seemed like the obvious solution. The narrative she had heard and absorbed was that if you don’t transition, you’ll kill yourself.
At 17, desperate to begin hormone therapy, Powell broke the news to her parents. They sent her to a gender specialist to make sure she was serious. In the fall of her senior year of high school, she started cross-sex hormones. She had a double mastectomy the summer before college, then went off as a transgender man named Grayson to Sarah Lawrence College, where she was paired with a male roommate on a men’s floor. At 5-foot-3, she felt she came across as a very effeminate gay man.
At no point during her medical or surgical transition, Powell says, did anyone ask her about the reasons behind her gender dysphoria or her depression. At no point was she asked about her sexual orientation. And at no point was she asked about any previous trauma, and so neither the therapists nor the doctors ever learned that she’d been sexually abused as a child.
“I wish there had been more open conversations,” Powell, now 23 and detransitioned, told me. “But I was told there is one cure and one thing to do if this is your problem, and this will help you.”
Progressives often portray the heated debate over childhood transgender care as a clash between those who are trying to help growing numbers of children express what they believe their genders to be and conservative politicians who won’t let kids be themselves.
But right-wing demagogues are not the only ones who have inflamed this debate. Transgender activists have pushed their own ideological extremism, especially by pressing for a treatment orthodoxy that has faced increased scrutiny in recent years. Under that model of care, clinicians are expected to affirm a young person’s assertion of gender identity and even provide medical treatment before, or even without, exploring other possible sources of distress.
Many who think there needs to be a more cautious approach — including well-meaning liberal parents, doctors and people who have undergone gender transition and subsequently regretted their procedures — have been attacked as anti-trans and intimidated into silencing their concerns.
And while Donald Trump denounces “left-wing gender insanity” and many trans activists describe any opposition as transphobic, parents in America’s vast ideological middle can find little dispassionate discussion of the genuine risks or trade-offs involved in what proponents call gender-affirming care.
Powell’s story shows how easy it is for young people to get caught up by the pull of ideology in this atmosphere.
“What should be a medical and psychological issue has been morphed into a political one,” Powell lamented during our conversation. “It’s a mess.”
A New and Growing Group of Patients
Many transgender adults are happy with their transitions and, whether they began to transition as adults or adolescents, feel it was life changing, even lifesaving. The small but rapidly growing number of children who express gender dysphoria and who transition at an early age, according to clinicians, is a recent and more controversial phenomenon.
Laura Edwards-Leeper, the founding psychologist of the first pediatric gender clinic in the United States, said that when she started her practice in 2007, most of her patients had longstanding and deep-seated gender dysphoria. Transitioning clearly made sense for almost all of them, and any mental health issues they had were generally resolved through gender transition.
“But that is just not the case anymore,” she told me recently. While she doesn’t regret transitioning the earlier cohort of patients and opposes government bans on transgender medical care, she said, “As far as I can tell, there are no professional organizations who are stepping in to regulate what’s going on.”
Tumblr media
Most of her patients now, she said, have no history of childhood gender dysphoria. Others refer to this phenomenon, with some controversy, as rapid onset gender dysphoria, in which adolescents, particularly tween and teenage girls, express gender dysphoria despite never having done so when they were younger. Frequently, they have mental health issues unrelated to gender. While professional associations say there is a lack of quality research on rapid onset gender dysphoria, several researchers have documented the phenomenon, and many health care providers have seen evidence of it in their practices.
“The population has changed drastically,” said Edwards-Leeper, a former head of the Child and Adolescent Committee for the World Professional Association for Transgender Health, the organization responsible for setting gender transition guidelines for medical professionals.
For these young people, she told me, “you have to take time to really assess what’s going on and hear the timeline and get the parents’ perspective in order to create an individualized treatment plan. Many providers are completely missing that step.”
Yet those health care professionals and scientists who do not think clinicians should automatically agree to a young person’s self-diagnosis are often afraid to speak out. A report commissioned by the National Health Service about Britain’s Tavistock gender clinic, which, until it was ordered to be shut down, was the country’s only health center dedicated to gender identity, noted that “primary and secondary care staff have told us that they feel under pressure to adopt an unquestioning affirmative approach and that this is at odds with the standard process of clinical assessment and diagnosis that they have been trained to undertake in all other clinical encounters.”
Of the dozens of students she’s trained as psychologists, Edwards-Leeper said, few still seem to be providing gender-related care. While her students have left the field for various reasons, “some have told me that they didn’t feel they could continue because of the pushback, the accusations of being transphobic, from being pro-assessment and wanting a more thorough process,” she said.
They have good reasons to be wary. Stephanie Winn, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Oregon, was trained in gender-affirming care and treated multiple transgender patients. But in 2020, after coming across detransition videos online, she began to doubt the gender-affirming model. In 2021 she spoke out in favor of approaching gender dysphoria in a more considered way, urging others in the field to pay attention to detransitioners, people who no longer consider themselves transgender after undergoing medical or surgical interventions. She has since been attacked by transgender activists. Some threatened to send complaints to her licensing board saying that she was trying to make trans kids change their minds through conversion therapy.
In April 2022, the Oregon Board of Licensed Professional Counselors and Therapists told Winn that she was under investigation. Her case was ultimately dismissed, but Winn no longer treats minors and practices only online, where many of her patients are worried parents of trans-identifying children.
“I don’t feel safe having a location where people can find me,” she said.
Detransitioners say that only conservative media outlets seem interested in telling their stories, which has left them open to attacks as hapless tools of the right, something that frustrated and dismayed every detransitioner I interviewed. These are people who were once the trans-identified kids that so many organizations say they’re trying to protect — but when they change their minds, they say, they feel abandoned.
Most parents and clinicians are simply trying to do what they think is best for the children involved. But parents with qualms about the current model of care are frustrated by what they see as a lack of options.
Parents told me it was a struggle to balance the desire to compassionately support a child with gender dysphoria while seeking the best psychological and medical care. Many believed their kids were gay or dealing with an array of complicated issues. But all said they felt compelled by gender clinicians, doctors, schools and social pressure to accede to their child’s declared gender identity even if they had serious doubts. They feared it would tear apart their family if they didn’t unquestioningly support social transition and medical treatment. All asked to speak anonymously, so desperate were they to maintain or repair any relationship with their children, some of whom were currently estranged.
Several of those who questioned their child’s self-diagnosis told me it had ruined their relationship. A few parents said simply, “I feel like I’ve lost my daughter.”
One mother described a meeting with 12 other parents in a support group for relatives of trans-identified youth where all of the participants described their children as autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. To all questions, the woman running the meeting replied, “Just let them transition.” The mother left in shock. How would hormones help a child with obsessive-compulsive disorder or depression? she wondered.
Some parents have found refuge in anonymous online support groups. There, people share tips on finding caregivers who will explore the causes of their children’s distress or tend to their overall emotional and developmental health and well-being without automatically acceding to their children’s self-diagnosis.
Many parents of kids who consider themselves trans say their children were introduced to transgender influencers on YouTube or TikTok, a phenomenon intensified for some by the isolation and online cocoon of Covid. Others say their kids learned these ideas in the classroom, as early as elementary school, often in child-friendly ways through curriculums supplied by trans rights organizations, with concepts like the gender unicorn or the Genderbread person.
‘Do You Want a Dead Son or a Live Daughter?’
After Kathleen’s 15-year-old son, whom she described as an obsessive child, abruptly told his parents he was trans, the doctor who was going to assess whether he had A.D.H.D. referred him instead to someone who specialized in both A.D.H.D. and gender. Kathleen, who asked to be identified only by her first name to protect her son’s privacy, assumed that the specialist would do some kind of evaluation or assessment. That was not the case.
The meeting was brief and began on a shocking note. “In front of my son, the therapist said, ‘Do you want a dead son or a live daughter?’” Kathleen recounted.
Parents are routinely warned that to pursue any path outside of agreeing with a child’s self-declared gender identity is to put a gender dysphoric youth at risk for suicide, which feels to many people like emotional blackmail. Proponents of the gender-affirming model have cited studies showing an association between that standard of care and a lower risk of suicide. But those studies were found to have methodological flaws or have been deemed not entirely conclusive. A survey of studies on the psychological effects of cross-sex hormones, published three years ago in The Journal of the Endocrine Society, the professional organization for hormone specialists, found it “could not draw any conclusions about death by suicide.” In a letter to The Wall Street Journal last year, 21 experts from nine countries said that survey was one reason they believed there was “no reliable evidence to suggest that hormonal transition is an effective suicide prevention measure.”
Moreover, the incidence of suicidal thoughts and attempts among gender dysphoric youth is complicated by the high incidence of accompanying conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder. As one systematic overview put it, “Children with gender dysphoria often experience a range of psychiatric comorbidities, with a high prevalence of mood and anxiety disorders, trauma, eating disorders and autism spectrum conditions, suicidality and self-harm.”
But rather than being treated as patients who deserve unbiased professional help, children with gender dysphoria often become political pawns.
Conservative lawmakers are working to ban access to gender care for minors and occasionally for adults as well. On the other side, however, many medical and mental health practitioners feel their hands have been tied by activist pressure and organizational capture. They say that it has become difficult to practice responsible mental health care or medicine for these young people.
Pediatricians, psychologists and other clinicians who dissent from this orthodoxy, believing that it is not based on reliable evidence, feel frustrated by their professional organizations. The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have wholeheartedly backed the gender-affirming model.
In 2021, Aaron Kimberly, a 50-year-old trans man and registered nurse, left the clinic in British Columbia where his job focused on the intake and assessment of gender-dysphoric youth. Kimberly received a comprehensive screening when he embarked on his own successful transition at age 33, which resolved the gender dysphoria he experienced from an early age.
But when the gender-affirming model was introduced at his clinic, he was instructed to support the initiation of hormone treatment for incoming patients regardless of whether they had complex mental problems, experiences with trauma or were otherwise “severely unwell,” Kimberly said. When he referred patients for further mental health care rather than immediate hormone treatment, he said he was accused of what they called gatekeeping and had to change jobs.
“I realized something had gone totally off the rails,” Kimberly, who subsequently founded the Gender Dysphoria Alliance and the L.G.B.T. Courage Coalition to advocate better gender care, told me.
Tumblr media
Gay men and women often told me they fear that same-sex-attracted kids, especially effeminate boys and tomboy girls who are gender nonconforming, will be transitioned during a normal phase of childhood and before sexual maturation — and that gender ideology can mask and even abet homophobia.
As one detransitioned man, now in a gay relationship, put it, “I was a gay man pumped up to look like a woman and dated a lesbian who was pumped up to look like a man. If that’s not conversion therapy, I don’t know what is.”
“I transitioned because I didn’t want to be gay,” Kasey Emerick, a 23-year-old woman and detransitioner from Pennsylvania, told me. Raised in a conservative Christian church, she said, “I believed homosexuality was a sin.”
When she was 15, Emerick confessed her homosexuality to her mother. Her mother attributed her sexual orientation to trauma — Emerick’s father was convicted of raping and assaulting her repeatedly when she was between the ages of 4 and 7 — but after catching Emerick texting with another girl at age 16, she took away her phone. When Emerick melted down, her mother admitted her to a psychiatric hospital. While there, Emerick told herself, “If I was a boy, none of this would have happened.”
In May 2017, Emerick began searching “gender” online and encountered trans advocacy websites. After realizing she could “pick the other side,” she told her mother, “I’m sick of being called a dyke and not a real girl.” If she were a man, she’d be free to pursue relationships with women.
That September, she and her mother met with a licensed professional counselor for the first of two 90-minute consultations. She told the counselor that she had wished to be a Boy Scout rather than a Girl Scout. She said she didn’t like being gay or a butch lesbian. She also told the counselor that she had suffered from anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. The clinic recommended testosterone, which was prescribed by a nearby L.G.B.T.Q. health clinic. Shortly thereafter, she was also diagnosed with A.D.H.D. She developed panic attacks. At age 17, she was cleared for a double mastectomy.
“I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’m having my breasts removed. I’m 17. I’m too young for this,’” she recalled. But she went ahead with the operation.
“Transition felt like a way to control something when I couldn’t control anything in my life,” Emerick explained. But after living as a trans man for five years, Emerick realized her mental health symptoms were only getting worse. In the fall of 2022, she came out as a detransitioner on Twitter and was immediately attacked. Transgender influencers told her she was bald and ugly. She received multiple threats.
“I thought my life was over,” she said. “I realized that I had lived a lie for over five years.”
Tumblr media
Today Emerick’s voice, permanently altered by testosterone, is that of a man. When she tells people she’s a detransitioner, they ask when she plans to stop taking T and live as a woman. “I’ve been off it for a year,” she replies.
Once, after she recounted her story to a therapist, the therapist tried to reassure her. If it’s any consolation, the therapist remarked, “I would never have guessed that you were once a trans woman.” Emerick replied, “Wait, what sex do you think I am?”
To the trans activist dictum that children know their gender best, it is important to add something all parents know from experience: Children change their minds all the time. One mother told me that after her teenage son desisted — pulled back from a trans identity before any irreversible medical procedures — he explained, “I was just rebelling. I look at it like a subculture, like being goth.”
“The job of children and adolescents is to experiment and explore where they fit into the world, and a big part of that exploration, especially during adolescence, is around their sense of identity,” Sasha Ayad, a licensed professional counselor based in Phoenix, told me. “Children at that age often present with a great deal of certainty and urgency about who they believe they are at the time and things they would like to do in order to enact that sense of identity.”
Ayad, a co-author of “When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents,” advises parents to be wary of the gender affirmation model. “We’ve always known that adolescents are particularly malleable in relationship to their peers and their social context and that exploration is often an attempt to navigate difficulties of that stage, such as puberty, coming to terms with the responsibilities and complications of young adulthood, romance and solidifying their sexual orientation,” she told me. For providing this kind of exploratory approach in her own practice with gender dysphoric youth, Ayad has had her license challenged twice, both times by adults who were not her patients. Both times, the charges were dismissed.
Studies show that around eight in 10 cases of childhood gender dysphoria resolve themselves by puberty and 30 percent of people on hormone therapy discontinue its use within four years, though the effects, including infertility, are often irreversible.
Proponents of early social transition and medical interventions for gender dysphoric youth cite a 2022 study showing that 98 percent of children who took both puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones continued treatment for short periods, and another study that tracked 317 children who socially transitioned between the ages of 3 and 12, which found that 94 percent of them still identified as transgender five years later. But such early interventions may cement children’s self-conceptions without giving them time to think or sexually mature.
‘The Process of Transition Didn’t Make Me Feel Better’
At the end of her freshman year of college, Grace Powell, horrifically depressed, began dissociating, feeling detached from her body and from reality, which had never happened to her before. Ultimately, she said, “the process of transition didn’t make me feel better. It magnified what I found was wrong with myself.”
“I expected it to change everything, but I was just me, with a slightly deeper voice,” she added. “It took me two years to start detransitioning and living as Grace again.”
She tried in vain to find a therapist who would treat her underlying issues, but they kept asking her: How do you want to be seen? Do you want to be nonbinary? Powell wanted to talk about her trauma, not her identity or her gender presentation. She ended up getting online therapy from a former employee of the Tavistock clinic in Britain. This therapist, a woman who has broken from the gender-affirming model, talked Grace through what she sees as her failure to launch and her efforts to reset. The therapist asked questions like: Who is Grace? What do you want from your life? For the first time, Powell felt someone was seeing and helping her as a person, not simply looking to slot her into an identity category.
Many detransitioners say they face ostracism and silencing because of the toxic politics around transgender issues.
“It is extraordinarily frustrating to feel that something I am is inherently political,” Powell told me. “I’ve been accused multiple times that I’m some right-winger who’s making a fake narrative to discredit transgender people, which is just crazy.”
While she believes there are people who benefit from transitioning, “I wish more people would understand that there’s not a one-size-fits-all solution,” she said. “I wish we could have that conversation.”
In a recent study in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, about 40 young detransitioners out of 78 surveyed said they had suffered from rapid onset gender dysphoria. Trans activists have fought hard to suppress any discussion of rapid onset gender dysphoria, despite evidence that the condition is real. In its guide for journalists, the activist organization GLAAD warns the media against using the term, as it is not “a formal condition or diagnosis.” Human Rights Campaign, another activist group, calls it “a right-wing theory.” A group of professional organizations put out a statement urging clinicians to eliminate the term from use.
Nobody knows how many young people desist after social, medical or surgical transitions. Trans activists often cite low regret rates for gender transition, along with low figures for detransition. But those studies, which often rely on self-reported cases to gender clinics, likely understate the actual numbers. None of the seven detransitioners I interviewed, for instance, even considered reporting back to the gender clinics that prescribed them medication they now consider to have been a mistake. Nor did they know any other detransitioners who had done so.
As Americans furiously debate the basis of transgender care, a number of advances in understanding have taken place in Europe, where the early Dutch studies that became the underpinning of gender-affirming care have been broadly questioned and criticized. Unlike some of the current population of gender dysphoric youth, the Dutch study participants had no serious psychological conditions. Those studies were riddled with methodological flaws and weaknesses. There was no evidence that any intervention was lifesaving. There was no long-term follow-up with any of the study’s 55 participants or the 15 who dropped out. A British effort to replicate the study said that it “identified no changes in psychological function” and that more studies were needed.
In countries like Sweden, Norway, France, the Netherlands and Britain — long considered exemplars of gender progress — medical professionals have recognized that early research on medical interventions for childhood gender dysphoria was either faulty or incomplete. Last month, the World Health Organization, in explaining why it is developing “a guideline on the health of trans and gender diverse people,” said it will cover only adults because “the evidence base for children and adolescents is limited and variable regarding the longer-term outcomes of gender-affirming care for children and adolescents.”
But in America, and Canada, the results of those widely criticized Dutch studies are falsely presented to the public as settled science.
Other countries have recently halted or limited the medical and surgical treatment of gender dysphoric youth, pending further study. Britain’s Tavistock clinic was ordered to be shut down next month, after a National Health Service-commissioned investigation found deficiencies in service and “a lack of consensus and open discussion about the nature of gender dysphoria and therefore about the appropriate clinical response.”
Meanwhile, the American medical establishment has hunkered down, stuck in an outdated model of gender affirmation. The American Academy of Pediatrics only recently agreed to conduct more research in response to yearslong efforts by dissenting experts, including Dr. Julia Mason, a self-described “bleeding-heart liberal.”
The larger threat to transgender people comes from Republicans who wish to deny them rights and protections. But the doctrinal rigidity of the progressive wing of the Democratic Party is disappointing, frustrating and counterproductive.
“I was always a liberal Democrat,” one woman whose son desisted after social transition and hormone therapy told me. “Now I feel politically homeless.”
She noted that the Biden administration has “unequivocally” supported gender-affirming care for minors, in cases in which it deems it “medically appropriate and necessary.” Rachel Levine, the assistant secretary for health at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, told NPR in 2022 that “there is no argument among medical professionals — pediatricians, pediatric endocrinologists, adolescent medicine physicians, adolescent psychiatrists, psychologists, et cetera — about the value and the importance of gender-affirming care.”
Of course, politics should not influence medical practice, whether the issue is birth control, abortion or gender medicine. But unfortunately, politics has gotten in the way of progress. Last year The Economist published a thorough investigation into America’s approach to gender medicine. Zanny Minton Beddoes, the editor, put the issue into political context. “If you look internationally at countries in Europe, the U.K. included, their medical establishments are much more concerned,” Beddoes told Vanity Fair. “But here — in part because this has become wrapped up in the culture wars where you have, you know, crazy extremes from the Republican right — if you want to be an upstanding liberal, you feel like you can’t say anything.”
Some people are trying to open up that dialogue, or at least provide outlets for kids and families to seek a more therapeutic approach to gender dysphoria.
Paul Garcia-Ryan is a psychotherapist in New York who cares for kids and families seeking holistic, exploratory care for gender dysphoria. He is also a detransitioner who from ages 15 to 30 fully believed he was a woman.
Garcia-Ryan is gay, but as a boy, he said, “it was much less threatening to my psyche to think that I was a straight girl born into the wrong body — that I had a medical condition that could be tended to.” When he visited a clinic at 15, the clinician immediately affirmed he was female, and rather than explore the reasons for his mental distress, simply confirmed Garcia-Ryan’s belief that he was not meant to be a man.
Once in college, he began medically transitioning and eventually had surgery on his genitals. Severe medical complications from both the surgery and hormone medication led him to reconsider what he had done, and to detransition. He also reconsidered the basis of gender affirmation, which, as a licensed clinical social worker at a gender clinic, he had been trained in and provided to clients.
“You’re made to believe these slogans,” he said. “Evidence-based, lifesaving care, safe and effective, medically necessary, the science is settled — and none of that is evidence based.”
Tumblr media
Garcia-Ryan, 32, is now the board president of Therapy First, an organization that supports therapists who do not agree with the gender affirmation model. He thinks transition can help some people manage the symptoms of gender dysphoria but no longer believes anyone under 25 should socially, medically or surgically transition without exploratory psychotherapy first.
“When a professional affirms a gender identity for a younger person, what they are doing is implementing a psychological intervention that narrows a person’s sense of self and closes off their options for considering what’s possible for them,” Garcia-Ryan told me.
Instead of promoting unproven treatments for children, which surveys show many Americans are uncomfortable with, transgender activists would be more effective if they focused on a shared agenda. Most Americans across the political spectrum can agree on the need for legal protections for transgender adults. They would also probably support additional research on the needs of young people reporting gender dysphoria so that kids could get the best treatment possible.
A shift in this direction would model tolerance and acceptance. It would prioritize compassion over demonization. It would require rising above culture-war politics and returning to reason. It would be the most humane path forward. And it would be the right thing to do.
*~*~*~*~*~*
For those who want tor ead more by those fighting the cancellation forquestioning, read:
Graham Lineham, who's been fighting since the beginning and paid the price, but is not seeing things turn around.
The Glinner Update, Grahan Linehan's Substack.
Kellie-Jay Keen @ThePosieParker, who's been physically attacked for organizing events for women demanding women-only spaces.
REDUXX, Feminst news & opinion.
Gays Against Groomers @againstgrmrs, A nonprofit of gay people and others within the community against the sexualization, indoctrination and medicalization of children under the guise of "LGBTQIA+"
725 notes · View notes
wheneverfeasible · 1 month
Text
So we all know the mechanic Eddie aus out there, all love a greasy dirty Eddie Munson in coveralls, but what about mechanic Steve?
Steve, who has a nice car, who learned how to take care of it himself. Steve who found that he was actually pretty good with his hands, and a knack for fixing things. He understands cars, likes to tinker with them in his spare time, even if he had to teach himself at first.
Eventually he sees a Help Wanted sign at the mechanic’s and…well, why not? He applies, and he’s inexperienced, but they hire him. He sweeps and keeps things clean and tidy at first, and then he learns some hands-on experience, moves up in the job, and eventually he becomes the guy everyone wants to work on their car.
When the owner retires, it’s Steve who takes over the place, making the shop his own and making certain that it’s a safe place in a town where safety isn’t always guaranteed. The kids he used to babysit who aren’t kids anymore all learn car basics, Steve making certain they’re not caught in a jam and unable to help themselves, especially the girls. In the window, a small picture of Dorothy from Wizard of Oz rests, letting those who know…know.
And then maybe one day rockstar Eddie Munson returns to the small town he blazed out of after finally graduating, packing his shit up and high tailing it outta there like the bats of hell were chasing him. Maybe he’s still driving a shitty van, or maybe he got something a little more fancy. Maybe fame and money got to him a little bit and he’s got some fancy high end sports car and a bit of a dick personality. And this car breaks down. Who does he have to call?
King Mechanics.
And Eddie is huffing and complaining at it all, at his car for crapping out, for being late to meet his uncle, for having to wait for some mechanic to show up. And one does, not too much later after that first annoyed phone call. And the mechanic has surprisingly well-styled hair, and a body firm with muscle, filling out those oil stained coveralls nicely, and maybe Eddie starts to sort of flirt with the guy, until he looks at him properly.
Until he sees it’s Steve fucking Harrington.
And maybe they don’t get along well at first, and it’s all Eddie’s fault really, who is now huffy and puffy about having to deal with King Steve. Steve, on the other hand, is nothing but polite and professional, maybe even friendly. He might have taken back the moniker of king for his shop, might have even taken it as his last name after his parents disowned him when he came out as queer, but he’s far from who he was in high school.
And honestly? Teasing Eddie is kind of fun. Watching him get flustered and annoyed is funny because enough time has passed that Steve is comfortable with who he is and everyone in town knows he’s turned over a new leaf and it’s just amusing watching Eddie not realizing this yet.
They didn’t really have the parts he needs to fix Eddie’s car at the moment, however, so he orders them in. Offers to give Eddie a ride to wherever he needs to go. Maybe even mentions Wayne, with whom he actually got kind of close with, and who sometimes comes around for a cold drink now that he’s retired and has more free time on hand.
Eddie is incensed Wayne never told him he was friendly with King Steve, but Wayne never cared much for gossip, and Steve has been a godsend more than once when Wayne’s old clunker died frequently.
And so Steve and Eddie are thrown together, and Eddie realizes that maybe there’s more to Steve than meets the eyes, and that’s even before he discovers the Dorothy in the window. Sadly, he doesn’t discover it until after he goes on some rant about how Steve is clearly homophobic, but Steve just stares at him amused because he hadn’t even known Eddie was gay back in high school.
Eventually, Eddie realizes he and Steve have more in common than he ever realized. Realizes he’s become the sort of people he always despised and was a bit of an ass. Steve meanwhile was already aware of his crush on Eddie and was merely waiting for the right time to make his move.
Anyways. I just like the idea of done-up Eddie, slick and fancy, and dirty grubby mechanic Steve.
hostage tag: @derythcorvinus
337 notes · View notes
nose-nippin-fun · 7 months
Text
Huskerdust Intimacy Headcanons Part 1 (contains nsfw)
* Above all else, Husk values consent. If the boys are drunk, it’s a no-go on sex. Later in their relationship, he’s fine if it’s only him that’s tipsy, but he’ll never go further than kissing when Angel’s not all there.
* Husk is careful about his movements near Angel. One time he lifted a paw to gesture or grab something, and Angel flinched. It broke his heart, so now his movements are very intentional.
* Husk doesn’t have many personal possessions, but he is a dice gremlin. When Angel finally sees his collection, he sets out to find another impressive set he can gift Husk.
* During their first time, Husk refuses to let Angel service him, focusing entirely on Angel’s care and pleasure. Angel is shocked to discover that softer “vanilla” sex is extremely hot when there’s feelings involved. Husk either lets Angel stay on top or makes sure he’s not pinning him down, giving Angel control over everything.
* Angel helps Husk get back into self care with hair and skin products. When they’re not hanging out at the bar, they’re lounging in Angel’s room having spa nights. Husk also discovers a love for candlelit baths (especially if Angel joins him).
* Husk comes to approximate when Angel will be home after every shift and always has a drink and an open seat waiting at the bar. If Angel’s ever later than expected, he just gives the old drink to Niffty.
* Husk makes it a point to befriend Cherri. She’s important to Angel, so she matters to him too. He ends up learning a lot about Angel through her, and in turn, he lets her open up about herself.
* When Angel leaves Fat Nuggets in Husk’s care, he gets stupid protective over that pig and potentially spoils him more than Angel.
* Husk actually enjoys when Angel carries him, often forgetting just how physically strong Angel actually is from all his pole work.
* Husk actually has major rizz, but he’s often oblivious to when he’s turned the charm up to 11. He eventually catches on if Angel gay panics hard enough.
* Once they’re an established couple, Angel and Husk coordinate their daily outfits so they’re always matching like cute old people.
* Angel likes to kiss the heart patterns on Husk’s ears, forehead, and hands, and Husk melts every time.
* Angel convinces Husk to bring out his overlord/demon form in the bedroom when they’re feeling extra spicy. Everyone else can tell when this happens because Angel has trouble walking the next day.
* Angel starts practicing with aerial silks because he wants to have an elegant/non-sexual talent to show off for Husk.
608 notes · View notes
punkeropercyjackson · 3 months
Text
Nonblacks in fandoms are literally brainwired to not care about black characters.When it comes to Disney Princess ship aus it's always Ariel and Eric or Rapunzel and Eugune but never Tiana and Naveen or Brandy's Cinderella and Paolo's Prince Charming.Hazel is a trio with Nico and Percy but is always replaced with Jason for 'The Big Three Boys' despite Percy being closer to her and Jason only becoming friends with Nico being used as a pity case for him by witnessing him being force outed and is defanged even though she's on par with Percy and her design whitefeminized because Pjo fans can't comprehend black girl features as feminine.Allura was the only good part of Voltron but she was bashed for daring to be the love of the lives of the two fan fave male characters instead of them realizing they only 'think' they hate eachother and applied every misogynoir stereotype to her under the guise of progressiveness
Duke is forgotten as a Batkid,Robin and Batboy based off a requirement rule that's never been said in canon or even joked about by official sources and Kory and Tam are shoved out of their romantic narratives with Dick and Tim to fit the 'redheads and blondes' rule even though Dick's dated more black women than redheads and Tim's first girlfriend dyed her hair blonde because she thought that's why he liked Stephanie more and he made a twisted expression of horror as his thought box said 'I...hate it'.Luz has her blackness invalidated almost always by NONblacks only,Gus is a canon black4brown mlm in a teenage romcom-esque ship but Toh fans ignore him and Mattholomule to obsses over Hunter and Edric as they 'roast' Huntlow too when Edric might as well not exist in comparison to Willow's depth and abundance of screentime,Camila was never given a chance and branded an abusive mom or spicy latina armcandy for Eda and Darius gets jackshit despite Hunter's whole ass entire dad and having a canon backstory with Eda,Raine and Lilith as classmates
Gumlee and Bubbline have much less content than completely noncanonical white gay ships and even after we saw Elise Marceline still wasn't popularly drawn black as human despite her being confirmation for Marcie and by extention Marsh being biracial.Oscar is said to have no personality by the same people who run blogs dedicated to fucking JAUNE AND SUN and his importance to Ruby downplayed for a mean white girl who bullied her for being a younger autistic girl and Emerald is easily the most deep and prettiest antagonist but hardly anybody hardcore stans her or ships her even including Mercury
Miles has zero crossover genres and i mean GENRES a la Rise of the Brave Tangled Dragons not the occasional one-off fanart and niche fic despite everything about Spiderverse being prime crossover material especially now that we have Atsv yet Danny F/P gets in on all of them including being JASON'S COUNTERPART when MILES is exactly like him while Danny's literally just ghost-themed and has nothing in common with Jason including being different flavors of deaths and ressurections and Margo is made out to be a desperate loser over Miles even though he showed even MORE more interest in HER and Hobie is passiveaggressively turned into Gwen's 'canon brother figure' despite the FIRST thing we learned about him is that they were gonna be a thing and it made it into the final project as confirmed by the creators who said the viewers can choose if they were dating or not and Jessica did nothing but be a good adoptive mom to Gwen after her cop dad kicked her out,have chemistry with Miguel,her own inner turmoil too and serve cunt and y'all either hated or ignored her for it BECAUSE she's a black woman but not a m*mmy or a minstrel show,don't even lie
And they notice NONE of this despite it happening every.fucking.time.They never prioritize or treasure black people in their lives if they even have any and they smacktalk black celebrities for the same reason they worship nonblack ones too.They make a mockery of black culture with butchered aave and whitewashed black aesthetics and calling our food disgusting and our romantic tactics inherently perverted(see the oversexualization of 'babygirl' when just means 'sweet black girl' and is meant to be comforting and can even be used platonically by older male relatives).They don't see color.They don't see us at all.They deliberately turn a blind eye to all the nonstop microagression they do towards our representation which they've NEVER limited to fictional characters-see how every black actor ever gets harrased!!!-yet act all 'woke' because they unlearned queerphobia and ableism.Yeah?Unlearn THIS propaganda too snowroaches
301 notes · View notes
iandarling · 1 month
Text
I know in most fics Ian and Mickey have passionate reunion sex their first night in prison, and while I 100% believe they would, I wonder if their first night might’ve looked a little different
Watching Ian prepare for prison, learning how to stay safe, where to eat and who to talk to, saying goodbye to his whole family, bracing himself for a new life is stressful
I can only imagine how stressed he would be in this new, dangerous, environment. He is totally alone, the new guy who is publically gay (prisoners have access to the news), and ginger to boot
We know Ian sometimes struggles to sleep, and so I imagine Ian probably struggled to sleep properly through the night leading up to prison - let alone his first night inside
But then Mickey shows up
Mickey is there. And they are cellmates and everything will be alright.
Mickey, who has spent months in Mexico working for a cartel, dealing drugs and overall not making good decisions, does something so brave and romantic as turning himself in, just to keep Ian safe
Mickey must’ve been tired too. He’s been dealing with the feds, travelling from Mexico back to Chicago, getting a good deal, all while not knowing if Ian would even want to see him - or what mental state he is in
They’re tired. They don’t have sex.
Instead, Ian crawls into Mickeys tiny bottom bunk, sleeping next to the wall (Mickey prefers having a clear view of the door), holding each other as tightly as possible.
It should be uncomfortable how tight Ian has his arms wrapped around Mickey, but he doesn’t care. He needs it. Craves it. Loves it.
Sure, Mickey was secretly hoping for a little action, if not full-on banging a handjob would be nice - but he also loves this.
Just them. Close together, breathing each other in as they finally get to lower their guard.
Mickey turned his head slightly to steal a kiss from Ian, but to no avail. Ian is dead to the world, nose pressed deep into the nape of his neck, having spent a good few minutes just smelling his skin. Creep.
Ian finally gets his person back, and Mickey finally feels safe.
The mattress is too thin, there is just one pillow, and the bunk beds are not designed for two fully grown muscular men; but Ian is finally able to sleep trough the whole night not having a single nightmare, and Mickey is able to feel safe for the first time in months
Yeah, they’re in prison and everything gonna suck for a while, but they’re together and that’s all that matters
289 notes · View notes
absolutebl · 4 months
Text
10 BLs That Shook Me
@trribledelight asked for "BLs that made you think or learn smthg or shook you culturally? Eg the political considerations in Not Me..."
Tumblr media
Let's get the rough ones out of the way first, shall we?
1 2gether
Green. One of the most egregious reps for punching down humor against femmes in BL (and there sure are a lot out there). Seriously GMMTV? Must you?
At the time we all watched this because there wasn't anything else to watch, and it's been a long time since I bothered with a rewatch, but Green is one of the reasons I just can't with this series.
Tumblr media
I'm not knocking the actor, but the character and how the other characters behave around him, and the director with regard to this aspect of the plot and portrayal was rough going.
What shook me was how casually homophobic 2g was. It was just so odd to watch a gay romance gloss over and degrade queerness. I was like, wait, aren't they supposed to me on our side?
(Ah, the before times.)
Tumblr media
2 Fish Upon the Sky
Shall we address the head wrap in the room? This BL has some of the most shockingly racist content I've seen in a long time. Also punching down humor. I fast forwarded through it and I still don't want to think about it. GMMTV should be throughly ashamed of themselves... Again. I was shook, but in a bad way.
Okay, now for the ones that shook me in a good way.
Tumblr media
3 Until We Meet Again
I watched this early in my Thai BL journey (while it was airing) and I had no idea what to expect. Frankly, you could watch it now and still not know. It's just very unusual for a Thai BL.
The plot twist about how they each ended up reborn. Just so brilliant. I still can't get over it. So simple. SO CLEVER. So punishing for the families.
Fantastic!
Tumblr media
4 Secret Crush On You
This one kinda shook me all along but that Daisy & Touch scene. It lives on in my head rent free forever. Just because it was so beautifully sweet and genuine and kindly towards a femme character.
I still don't like this BL.
But I love that scene in it.
Tumblr media
5 My Beautiful Man
I went on a JOURNEY with this show. Mostly because I didn't think Japan had it in them to land something this complex. But they managed it beautifully by not shying away from the delicious messy ugliness of it all.
Possibly the greatest final episode in all BL.
And from Japan. Usually so bad at endings.
I remain gobsmacked.
Tumblr media
6 Unknown
I shouldn't have been shooketh by this one but I really was.
The style of it while staying so down home and gritty.
How old school Chinese BL it felt yet it still managed to be very modern BL about it.
The execution and quality of the acting.
How it was aired (available in YouTube?! we NEVER get that from Taiwan!)
Also the pair branding. We haven't gotten this level of pair brand from the leads in a Taiwanese BL since SamYu.
I'm was absolutely riveted by everything about this show and its production.
I loved seeing it. I hope we get more BLs like this from Taiwan as a result.
But I ALSO hope they realize that a big factor in the popularity and the success of this show was in distribution.
It's what's for dinner.
Along with the stepbrother trope.
KOREA'S SUPRISES
I watch a lot of Kdramas as well as BL, and have done for a really long time. I'm riveted by Hallyu, from an entertainment industry perspective (what I wouldn't do to get my hands on some of their proprietary data). I also listen to a ton of Kpop.
Therefore, Korea dominates the P'ABL gets shooketh list because I had (and have) more expectations firmly in place around Korea's media product sfyle than anyone elses. Even before they started to make a big play into the BL scene.
My favorite BLs from Korea, like Semantic Error and Light on Me are EXACTLY what I expect from them, manufactured perfection. But I was also shook more times by Korea than other BL nations because I had such rigid expectations.
Tumblr media
7 Color Rush
Yeah yeah. But it starred an idol. It started out pretty and stiff and everything I was expecting and then the concept hit me up side the head and I never recovered from the CLEVER of this show. I'm not used to my Kdramas or my BL being this high concept and SMART about their sanitized perfection.
Tumblr media
8 Blueming
What with the 8th Sense and others since, Blueming seems to have been somewhat forgotten about. But at the time, I was shook by the down home grit of this show. By the actual pain from the characters. By the higher heat concept. By Korea actually going THERE.
And then these babies came along...
Tumblr media
9 The 8th Sense
I just didn't think Korea had it in them. Yes, I realize now that it was a bit navel gazey, and we were weighted heavily towards the seme and his pain. I would have liked a better balance between the leads, but that's in retrospect.
At the time I couldn't believe it. A KBL dealing with mental health?
And can we talk about those sex scenes? How insanely comfortable the actors were with each other? How easy in each other's personal space? I've not seen anything else quite like that from Korea. It's super rare. I had assumed they, culturally, just didn't do casual intimacy, or if they did, it wasn't allowed on screen.
Of course now I know the CAN do it, I want more.
Tumblr media
10 Love for Love's Sake
Okay, lots to unpack with this one. A genuine isakai BL, in the original sense of the term. The death twist didn't shake me up, but the execution, acting, open gayness, and a couple other things did. Enough to make me still think on this show with fond surprise and affection, despite its undercurrent of darkness.
I like to be shooketh.
Tumblr media
(source)
277 notes · View notes
shiratamahatsumiyo · 3 months
Text
Another alternate universe where Riddle's sibling dating Ace and coming out gay--......I should make this a series.
In the Heartslabyul Dorm Lounge, Ace is playing cards with Deuce instead of doing homework.
???: "....a......where.....he....."
Ace: "Hm? Hey Juice, do hear that?"
Deuce: "Ugh, for the last time--"
A student suddenly ran past the lounge
Heartslabyul Student A: "I-I-It's bad! Everyone, save your heads!"
Deuce: "What the--"
Riddle: "GET OUT MY WAY, TREY!!! AAAAAACE TRAAAAAPPOLAAAAAAA!!!!!"
Deuce: "Ace! W-What did you do this time?!"
Ace: "I didn't do anything, i swear!"
Trey, trying to stop Riddle: "Cater, hold him back!!"
Cater, summoning clones: "I'm trying!"
Riddle: "I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD AFTER WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!!"
Ace: "What did I even do?!--"
Sibling!Rosehearts arriving
Sibling!Rosehearts: "Riddle, calm down! It was just a confession!"
Riddle: "CONFESSION OR NOT, I WILL HAVE THIS FOOL'S HEAD REGARDLESS!!!"
Heartslabyul Student B: "S-someone do something!"
Deuce: "Uhhhh....I-i summon thee. CAULDRON!"
Riddle: "ACK!"
A cauldron dropped on top of Riddle, effectively knocking him out.
Sibling! Rosehearts: "Phew! Thanks, Deuce."
Deuce: "Um, no problem?... I'll probably be get beheaded after this..."
Ace: ".... Sibling! Rosehearts. Did you tell him?"
Sibling! Rosehearts: "He only listened halfway."
Ace: "So uh, we gonna drag him to the infirmary or...?"
At the infirmary
Ghost: "Ok, his head injury doesn't seem to show any complications. But I suggest he stays here just in case."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "Thank you, sir... Trey, Cater, Deuce. Can you guys leave me and Ace some space?"
Deuce: "Why--"
Cater: "Oh, don't worry, Sibling! Rosehearts. Cay-Cay, Trey, and Deucey got your back!"
Trey: "We're gonna be at the dorm lounge if you need us."
Trey, Cater and Deuce left Ace, Riddle and Sibling! Rosehearts in the infirmary. Leaving a long silence between the two.
Ace: "....."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "....."
Ace: "....I thought we agreed to keep US a secret?"
Sibling! Rosehearts: "So you think WE can keep living like this? A lie? We can't fool everyone, especially my brother."
Ace: "I know, it's just.... I don't know what my family might feel. What the rest of the guys might think."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "Me too..."
Ace: "..."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "... Maybe you're right. I think we can just keep this a secret a while longer--"
Riddle, sober and wide awake: "KEEP WHAT A SECRET?"
Ace: "OH SHIT! HE'S AWAK--"
Sibling! Rosehearts: "SSSHHH! Don't shout! His head might still be ringing!"
Riddle: "Oh no, no. I heard EVERYTHING clearly."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "Well shit."
Ace: "Well shit, indeed."
Surprisingly the elder Rosehearts did not scold the two and instead brought another silence. He finally speaks up.
Riddle: "...How long?"
Sibling! Rosehearts: " What?"
Riddle: "How long were you two together a secret?"
Sibling! Rosehearts: "Since we participated VDC."
Riddle: "Why him? Can't you see he is obnoxious? Can't you see he's a horrible influence on you? Do you not see that he's a male? What will mother--"
Sibling! Rosehearts: "What mother says is not always right. She tormented us. Eventually leading you to Overblot. We have our own bodies, our own souls, our own LIVES. She cannot place us in an impossibly high pedestal to begin with."
Riddle: "... But... You..."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "I am still me. No matter how much I change, I'm still your sibling. But I feel trapped. I still yearn for my freedom to do anything. I feel suffocated for I can't have my own way of loving someone without thinking of what will our family might say."
Riddle, tears building up in his eyes: "...Why are you like this?"
Sibling! Rosehearts: "...if you still don't understand, it's ok. I'll--"
Ace: "Alright, you know what? FUCK IT. Riddle, your only sibling are trying their best explaining to you why they want to break free from your mom's astronomical expectations. We thought you already learned this after your Overblot. How she also chained you down to be defined as her trophy. If you can't accept Sibling! Rosehearts for the way they are then... Maybe you're still holding on to what's left of the chains."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "... A-Ace..."
Riddle: "........"
Ace: "I... Love your sibling just the way they are and they love me back despite me being a major asshole. Don't believe me? How about this..."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "ACE WHAT ARE YOU DOING--"
Ace opened a window next to Riddle's bed and inhaled a large sum of air. He didn't care if someone listened or not. He's gonna shout it out to the top of his lungs anyway.
Ace: "I LOVE SIBLING! ROSEHEARTS WITH ALL MY HEART!!! IF SOMEONE REJECTS THAT, FIGHT ME!!!!"
Riddle: "!!!"
Sibling! Rosehearts, all red-faced: "A-A-ACE STOP THAT YOU MIGHT GET DISTURB THE CLASSES!"
Sibling! Rosehearts immediately dragged Ace by the collar and shut the window.
Riddle: "Ace... You're lucky I can't move right now. Otherwise I'd strangle you."
Ace: "Sorry, but I gotta since you won't believe me."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "That doesn't mean you should shout it out!"
Ace: "I can't prove it any way else other than that!"
Riddle: "Actually, there is. If you manage to beat me in a game of croquet, I'll let you court Sibling! Rosehearts. If you lose, I'll collar you for a year."
Sibling! Rosehearts: "Great Sevens, Riddle!"
Ace: "Ah crap."
The three hear snickering outside the door. Sibling! Rosehearts opened it and Trey, Cater and Deuce came falling in.
Sibling! Rosehearts: "!!!"
Riddle, with a cruel smirk: "Well, well, well... It looks like you three weren't supervising the dorm."
Ace, shocked: "SHIT YOU GUYS HEARD ALL OF THAT?!?!"
Cater: "Uhhhh... hahaha...."
Trey: "...S-sorry for eavesdropping?"
Deuce: "RIDDLE PLEASE I'M SORRY DON'T KILL ME PLEASE--"
201 notes · View notes
blacknedsoul-blog · 9 months
Text
An unnecessarily detailed analysis of Lenore's face when she realizes how gay she is
(Someone thought to tell me that I wrote "incessantly" instead of "unnecessarily" the last time I did this? Didn't they? You people are terrible).
These two vignettes make me crack up. Partly because it's always funny to see Miss "I can pick fights with the Deans, but thinking about my crush makes me nervous UwU" panic, but also because it's impressive how many things have just clicked in Lenore's head at this point.
Tumblr media
Like, this girl must be feeling like when you finish a puzzle. A very gay one.
What she knows so far
At this point, as far as Lenore knows, she and Annabel have not seen each other again. There was a goodbye, and she is aware of how much that hurt her. For me, there are two possibilities:
In this flashback, Lenore has realized that she is in love with Annabel, but it is an unrequited affection.
She interprets these feelings as "oh, I'm attracted to her because she was my only friend and she was painfully ripped out of my life. Yes, friends. Very good friends.
Personally, I prefer to interpret it as the second option (you will see why).
On the other hand, it's impossible not to see how willing Annabel is to give and receive affection when it comes to Lenore: in this scene, she tries to say goodbye with a kiss,
Tumblr media
And when they're in the closet, she literally throws herself at her.
Tumblr media
And I want to point out one thing: Lenore doesn't remember a romantic relationship, but her body seems to: she instinctively strokes her hair when she cuddles her, even though Annabel didn't ask her to. They have done this before. There is a familiarity to this interaction.
Tumblr media
Finally. Lenore learned chapters ago that she burned down her house, stole her dead brother's clothes, cut her hair to look more like a man for…something. She doesn't know what yet, but it had to be something important.
And she remembers it when Ada opens her mouth.
Tumblr media
(parenthesis: that comment also makes me laugh a lot, like, Ada, dear, if you knew the CRAZY things this woman has done for love).
Please, appreciate this gay panic
If Lenore had any doubt about her feelings for Annabel (assuming option 2), it has been completely erased: she is in love with her. There is no acceptable way to rationalize this as anything else. She was in the past and she definitely is now. That's what draws her to her, that's why she desperately wants to confide in Annabel, that's why her affection seems familiar.
As if that were not enough, Annabel has that ring on her. Not only has Lenore just been hit by the reality of her own feelings, she has just realized that her love is reciprocated, this is not a one-sided crush, they are going to get married. Suddenly, these invasions of her personal space are understood for what they were: an attempt to have a physical relationship on the terms one would have with a romantic partner. Because Annabel was not her friend.
She was her fiancée.
Also, because Lenore is too pure a cinnamon roll for the world, she must be wondering how much she hurt Annabel with this: how she dodged her attempts to show affection, how she doubted her, and, the icing on the cake, that comment:
Tumblr media
And all this mental cocoa is perfectly condensed into the expression she has in these two vignettes.
Tumblr media
Honestly, the scene is perfect as it is, with no dialogue, but you can almost hear her thinking, "I…I did…I told my fiancée we're friends, blaze".
817 notes · View notes
bengiyo · 2 months
Text
Knock Knock, Boys! is an Ideal First BL for New Viewers
I often talk on @the-conversation-pod about how I react to BL from the lens of a queer media critic actively trying to recruit queer media viewers to BL. I want those viewers to join us in BL, and so I value shows that have strong character writing and satisfying resolutions for their drama. New viewers don’t always understand or recognize romance or BL tropes right away, and sometimes things go over their heads. In that vein, Knock Knock, Boys! may be one of the most useful shows I’ve encountered in the last year for this exact purpose. 
Tumblr media
Rating: 9, Highly Recommended
Runtime: 12 50+ minute episodes
Country: Thailand
Network: WeTV
Availability: WeTV, GagaOOlala
Knock Knock, Boys! places four young men at a transitional point in their lives. Split evenly between first-year college students and working adults, each character is running from something. Peak is running from a marriage to a woman, Thanwa is running from a bad relationship with his ex-boyfriend, Latte is running towards graduation, and Almond is running away from his sheltered existence. Over the course of the show, these two pair off based on their shared age brackets in one of the most sex-positive shows I’ve seen this year, with a common theme about how honesty and commitment to each other gives people the space they need to grow. More than anything, this show values patience and kindness in relationships in a way that I cannot overstate.
Tumblr media
As the ice starts to break, they learn that Thanwa and Latte have had active sex lives (Thanwa exclusively with men, and Latte with all sorts of people) and establish a rhythm within their home. Thanwa makes most of their meals, and Almond has to wake Latte up every day because he ignores alarms. The original conceit that connects our quartet beyond their shared housing incident comes from Almond promising to pay the rent for a year for anyone who helps him lose his virginity to his high school crush, Jumper. Hijinks ensue as the boys try to befriend Jumper, and angle for him and Almond to grow closer. As with any story like this, Latte ends up developing feelings for Almond, while Peak and Thanwa grow closer. 
Tumblr media
More spoilers ahead, I want to talk about each character, and what I liked so much about each. These boys became one of my favorite friend groups we’ve had in a while. I am a huge fan of age gaps in queer friendships, and this show has much of it.
Tumblr media
Thanwa: Played by the talented Seng Wichai, Thanwa is a great answer to the question of “Where do the quiet gays go?” He clearly knows his way around cruising spots, or knows how to use the apps, and yet everything we know about his shows that he’s geared towards domestic life and his hobbies. He dresses like a normie all the time, he loves cooking, and he loves eating. He’s clearly a thoughtful and reliable friend, and it’s that commitment and reliability that eventually gets him a job he actually wants to do. More than anything, he gave far more grace to a closeted man he cared about than I ever expected AND HE WON. Seng remains one of my favorite BL performers because of his ability to play ugly and goofy. He’s so beautiful because he is capable of playing weirdos well. 
Tumblr media
Peak: Played by BL veteran Best Vittawin, Peak is running from compulsory heteronormativity. He’s expected to marry the daughter of a family close to theirs, and he is letting this all happen to keep his stern father happy. Peak has been running away from himself ever since his mom died. He saw how much that hurt his dad, and he’s struggled to be a problem-free son for a long time as a result. The weight of expectation on him presses down on Peak so hard that he can’t even focus half the time, and literally zones out as he tries to cope. Best gives a wonderful performance as Peak, especially in the final episodes, as he finally unburdens himself and blossoms as a result. This is my favorite Best character of all time, and Peak is one of my favorite portrayals of what it means to love someone enough for them to leave the closet on their own terms. 
Tumblr media
Almond: Played by Nokia Chinnawat, who appeared in Thank God It’s Friday (2019), Almond is such a fun view into what modern gay boys could be like. He’s young and horny, and he wants to get laid! He’s not embarrassed about this, but he is shy. I loved the way the show used his enthusiasm as a way to further its PSA agenda in such a fun way. Almond is also one of the few rich kids we’ve had in these dramas that isn’t inherently insufferable. I like how his wealth mostly comes up as a problem solving tool, and he doesn’t feel too much like a snob after the first few interactions. I also loved his arc of getting over his unrequited crush on Jumper into recognizing his feelings for Latte. Nokia himself shows a real knack for physical comedy and expressiveness that makes me genuinely want to follow his career beyond this show. 
Tumblr media
Latte: Played by Jaonine Jiraphat, Latte fills the role of our sexually experienced queer in the group. Confidently pansexual, Latte was so much fun for me because he and Thanwa had no shame about the sex and relationships they’ve had before. I loved how consistently Latte was shown to be emotionally present and sincere in all of his relationships. It could have been so easy to present him as promiscuous or slutty, and instead they present him as beloved. Every one of his former lovers we encountered seemed happy to see him again, and also resolved about the time they’d spent together. More than anything, I deeply appreciated how patient he was with Almond without suddenly becoming a sexless being because his boyfriend was shy or nervous. Jaonine was incredibly charming in this role, and I hope casting directors take notice. 
Tumblr media
The Supporting Cast: The supporting characters were perfectly calibrated for their roles in this show. Jumper (Pak Varayu) made total sense as Almond’s crush, and has a great arc of Almond falling out of love with him, and becoming briefly enemies with Almond before reconciling. Lookpeach (Guitar Tunthita) plays the role of the modern faghag in a way that feels like Thai BL doing corrective work on the role of fandom in BL, and I have deep love for this character. Jane (Naya Gorrawiya) is the friend that everyone deserves; I loved the reveal about how personal her understanding and support for Peak has been this whole time. This show even calibrated it’s villain well in Max (Tuss Thotsawat), who showed that there are far worse things than cheating in broken relationships. 
Tumblr media
Final Thoughts: I am so excited to show this show to my friend Emily, who’s been watching BL with me since early covid lockdowns. While this show has a few small stumbles that keep it from getting a 10, I don’t want to downplay how refreshing it was to watch a show that had a clear vision of what it wanted to be, and executed it the whole time. I commented during episode 1 that it felt more like a romcom than a BL, and the show said that through Lookpeach in its final episode! It built believable queer friendships in front of us, and understood the emotional core of most of its angst and drama all the way through. This show avoided veering too far into melodrama, and remembered that it was a romantic comedy the entire time. It also managed to be consistently sex-positive without feeling exploitative of its talent, or by letting the audience down on the sex front (I will be thinking about Almond and Latte’s first time and the morning after for a long time). This show also has parents apologizing for the knots they tied their children into. I don’t know a better Thai show airing during this season. This show is a real delight, and one I urge you all to show your friends who might be looking for a gay romcom. 
162 notes · View notes
ohnopeh · 3 months
Text
i find it incredibly funny and telling seeing ian's reaction to mickey going to a hipster concert with his 'boyfriend'
he's there making faces and describing them looking at mickey as in 'this is everything you hate, are you for real?'
Tumblr media
i love how his reaction is to laugh and not to feel jealous at mickey ''trying'' to ''fit in'' for the guy, cause he knows he's just doing that to keep the whole ''i've moved on'' thing going and byron. it also made me think how this is what ian did with his other relationships, trying so hard to be loved. he knows that doesn't work and that mickey isn't like that so he doesn't feel threatened by ian's poundland's version. but ian? ian had to listen to trevor's music, tried to be ''cool'' and go to the club cause trevor kept pushing himself over ian i'mnotafraidofanything gallagher.
Tumblr media
i feel like ian's need to fit where people tell him to increased with s4 when he was maniac and away from his family. him being at the club, having ''regulars'' and parties (e.x. the one he went with mickey) he had this whole life that he didn't like but kept on shoving on himself cause he thought that's what he has to do to be loved. but then he's with mickey and s5 has him move on from that life as he's with someone who doesn't make him feel like he needs to try and pretend being someone else. s6 happens and the whole EMT is amazing but still, ian is still being used in ways (making caleb's father's angry + fucking a girl) so people want him just cause he fits with their needs and not what they can share together. its always ian giving to others. s7 with the whole trevor thing felt so awkward, he made ian feel like shit for not being up to date with every lgbtq term. trevor's group was basically this
Tumblr media
despite that, ian was never enough. trevor kept telling him off and showing how cool and superior he is compared to ian. which is why i love how ian can see through mickey's bullshit, knowing that doing so its just trying too hard, not being genuine. its not what mickey and ian are. ''can't we just be ian and mickey?''
and i think that also reflects on s11 arc for them. ian wants to make the marrige work, he doesn't want mickey to regret it so he tries so hard, but by doing so they struggle to understand each others at first. they both want monogamy but a misunderstanding makes them both think the other wants to include people in their sex life. debbie and mickey point out that ian gets influenced by lip and that he doesn't have other friends. he thinks they seem it as something bad, something he needs to change. so what does he do? he decides that he and his husband are going to have gay friends and do the whole 'sex with others' thing. what's funny is that they both know they don't want that so what does ian do to convince mickey to tag along? he makes him jealous
Tumblr media
''...who knows what will happen?'' and mickey sees through his bullshit
Tumblr media
he's like ''are you really pulling this shit on me?'' so when he reminds ian what their decision was, ian tells him ''then i guess we should make some friends together.'' he tags along, they hang out with other gay people just like the ones trevor was friend with. but this time ian is comfortable saying that's not going to do it for him. but mickey? he's is a little shit and wants ian to learn a lesson so they stay till the night and all that shit. but THEN
Tumblr media
they come back from the shitty hang out and mickey knows! he knows that ian finally understands. ian didn't have fun, ian didn't want to be with them, didn't want to force that lifestyle cause this time he's not with someone who's asking him to do that. ian even says
Tumblr media
mickey's face is a clear ''no shit, sherlock.'' despite being himself with mickey, he's still struggling to accept that mickey wants ''all of the fucking versions of me.'' so he tries to force what he thinks will be the best for mickey, for them. which is also why he regrets getting the house on the west side after mickey's breakdown. he did sign the paper cause mickey was the first one to suggest checking it out, he knows that mickey deserves more than being a ''southside trash'' but he pushed it without giving mickey a chance to elaborate it. once ian finally realises that, he's willing to take a step back go back to where mickey is comfortable. this time though, mickey knows that ian is doing it for them and to show mickey his life is so much more than being what his father wanted him to become. and then the anniversary day? i have this headcanon that ian didn't say anything first because he wanted to check if mickey still cared about it, if he didn't regret getting married to ian. after a year together ian tried and 'failed' to make things work the way he thought they were supposed to be. is mickey still 'fucking crazy' for wanting that? so he waits, tries to remind him. they go to the alibi and ian has given up, he doesn't want to go out, he wants to go home and he's so desperate for mickey to remember their anniversary before the day ends. so he tells him but mickey reaction is anything but hurtful to ian. patting him on the shoulder and saying ''that's great.''
Tumblr media
he must be thinking, 'this is the same person that fought so hard for us to get married, went all crazy over it and planned to kill his father for ruining it-- and now that we've hit the one year mark he's forgotten and just pat me on the shoulder?' cause ian knows what it feels like to be loved by mickey and he doesn't see it in that moment, he's scared.
Tumblr media
the face he makes once he realises that he planned a big surprise for him, for them. for their love? its like he can finally breathe, they're okay, they're going to be okay. because they're ian and mickey and they love each other and go through everything together. ''thick and thin all that shit.''
and finally he knows he can stop trying so hard to fit somewhere he doesn't want to be, because he's loved for who he is, with all of his flaws that others made him think he wasn't worth the trouble. but just like ian makes mickey free, mickey himself makes ian feel free.
Tumblr media
bonus 'mickey's ''no way i would forget about that'' expression.'
Tumblr media
287 notes · View notes