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esperanzacboronial · 2 years

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32 or 48 for the writing prompts hhhhh,,,if u are feeling them <3

I'm so sorry that this took me like a year to respond to.

32. I think you are beautiful and I would like to kiss you. I can think up some clever lines, if you’d prefer. But I wanted to say that, first.

Ao3 link

February 14th, 1938

This was supposed to be the year.

Firo had told himself he would buy flowers this year. Truth be told, he had played with the idea of buying a ring.

1937 had felt fresh and new, at least for a little while. Things were on the way up. It wasn’t like they were handing out a blank check to every American, but he saw fewer people on the street, more lights on in the shops and offices around Little Italy. People started paying their debts, no threats required. On a personal level, too - it felt like it was all behind them, all that trouble and strife, the mess at the casino, Alcatraz, Nebula, all of it had faded into the backdrop. Lately, it was just he and Ennis and Czeslaw, a little family in their little apartment, no threat of attack or kidnapping – or no more than the usual amount that came with being tied to the camorra – and although they were still immortals, still freaks, still not-quite-humans, although he still had centuries of borrowed memories to contend with, he had been able to put all of that to the back of his mind.

Every statistician and politician and mathematician on the planet, or at least this side of the Atlantic, had promised that this would be the year. The year it all went back to normal. Now, Firo had only been a kid back when normal went out the door, so he didn’t have a fantastic recollection of it, but even he could sense it around the corner. It was in the little things, the smiles of the people who came into the Alveare, the fresh smell in the air, the clean, litterless streets.

The economy was recovering; he heard on the news that things were looking up. He wasn’t one for keeping up with all the indexes and the rates of this-and-that, but they were saying it was looking like 1929 again, and he imagined himself back there – 1929, before all that ruckus, before he drank the elixir, before he was even sworn into the family. The peace and quiet of 1929 again, this time with Ennis at his side.

But just like that, spring passed, and with it any optimism for the future. Summer and fall rolled by, and then came a long, bleak winter where no one could deny reality any longer; after a fleeting taste of improvement, they had been plunged back into the worst of it. A new recession.

Firo found himself standing in a flower shop, staring dumbly at the price tag on a bunch of roses and counting the coins in his pocket, thinking he ought to have bought them this time last year - just cut the waiting and seized the moment and accepted better as the best it was going to get.

This was supposed to be the year that he -

No, it was a stupid idea, anyway.

He decided not to buy the roses. He grabbed a few wilting daisies for the windowsill and made his way home.

There was always next year.

February 14th, 1942

Two months earlier, the U.S had entered World War II.

The draft had a way of missing mafiosi. There were all kinds of whispers about it: maybe they ran an ‘essential business’, some old farm or auto-manufacturer that they used as a cover, maybe they had a special agreement with the government, maybe there was cash exchanged, maybe they had a few too many ties back to the homeland and couldn’t be trusted – maybe someone needed those ties, and had to keep them alive, or maybe they got called and just never went – it’s not as if it would be the worst crime a mafioso had ever committed. Whatever the reason, like the Angel of Death, the draft passed them over.

And whatever the reason, the camorra just didn’t have the same sway – maybe a honey shop wasn’t considered essential . Maybe Don Martillo was just too honourable to let his underlings dodge the draft. Firo had heard down the grapevine that a few members of the family would be sent off in the weeks to come.

He would be lying if he said it didn’t make his stomach plunge when he first heard it. An episode of existential panic washed over him, where he imagined himself as a scrawny, twenty-something in a too-big suit being shipped off to fight against seasoned soldiers, and before the reality of his own immortality caught back up to him, he found himself sputtering out a nervous confession over drinks with Ennis.

“Look Ennis, uh, I don’t know if I’ll get called out – drafted, I mean –”

“I’m sure that Mr. Martillo would never let that happen,” Ennis assured him coolly, a soft smile at her lips.

“Yeah, maybe not – you’re probably right,” Stop staring at her lips . Get to the point . “But I should tell you, anyhow, if I do…”

“If you do?” She tilted her head.

“If I do get drafted, I… uh, I know I’d be fine - I mean, I wouldn’t die. But it would be hard to be away for so long, you know?”

“Ah, of course,” she nodded, and looked at him sympathetically. It wasn’t at all the look he had been hoping for. “I am sure Czes would miss you terribly.”

“Uh, yeah, sure, but what I meant was…” he scratched the back of his neck and fell silent.

With the ease of someone who did not have to think about her every move – too easily, as if it meant nothing at all – she reached over and squeezed his hand. “I would miss you, too.”

He could have kissed her right then and there, but he did not.

February 14th, 1969

The newspapers that morning are plastered with Vito Genovese’s old mug. Mafia Kingpin dies while serving time . A heart-attack - not stabbed, or beaten, or shot - just kicked the bucket, just like that. What was he, ten, twelve years older than Firo? Practically a contemporary. And he died an old man, sitting around in his cell until his heart gave out. Not that he had much sympathy for him - Luciano’s lot were as bad as they came. Still, it felt like the start to the end of an era - maybe for more reasons than one.

“He was one of Lucky Luciano’s fellas. He took over for him for a while, actually–” he explained to Ennis when she asked. “Just like I’m taking over for Maiza.”

The start to the end of an era. No more child’s play.

In a few month’s time, Maiza was due to start his trip around the globe. It was stupid, really, considering that he was almost 60 years old, but Firo still felt a little like a kid stepping into his dad’s shoes. Maiza had gifted him a nice silk necktie and told him he could wear it for his date with Ennis (he said it like that, with that smug smirk of his) and maybe it wouldn’t kill him to wear it after that, too . He was too proud to admit that he could count the times he’d worn a necktie on one hand, and had no clue how to tie the damn thing properly. He would look like a complete buffoon fumbling around trying not to strangle himself, and it wasn’t like Ennis wouldn’t be there for the whole show – she lived with him, after all. (Living in sin, the other guys liked to joke - except there was nothing sinful about it.)

Maiza had a point, though. The way he dressed might be alright for the Martillo family’s youngest executive – a title which was starting to feel a little outdated – but if he was going to be their contaiuolo, he would have to be a bit sharper, wouldn’t he? Not just in wits, but in looks, too. A bit more adult. Every button buttoned, tie on straight, reading glasses. Even Vitone was wearing glasses in the paper, although Firo swears he did not remember him needing them back when he was arrested. Either there was something to it, or it was just old age, but they always suited Maiza, anyway, made him look wise. They probably helped him read the accounts, too. Staring at those tiny lines of numbers for hours on end was already giving Firo a headache.

Maybe he would shop around with Maiza before he left, for old time’s sake - make sure he’s all spruced up for the new role.

He had been looking for flowers earlier that day - it felt like he did it every year - but how do you pick out flowers with a dead guy’s mugshot staring at you from the newsrack? It got him thinking about everything to come, and suddenly roses and pansies didn’t feel like his top priority. He was about to promise himself to such a great undertaking - how could he promise himself to Ennis on top of that? What if he couldn’t manage both - being what he needed to be for the family and being what he needed to be for his family?

Maybe when Maiza was done globetrotting, maybe he could think about it then.

February 14th, 1971

If Firo had learned anything over the course of forty years of immortality, it was that there was never going to be a perfect moment. He had endured too many missed opportunities, too many good deals waiting for the best.

Now, all the talk of mutually assured destruction on the radio did not exactly scream let’s spend the rest of our lives together , but when he thought about it, it was pretty meaningless to them. They were cockroaches, weren’t they? The kinds of underground pests who ought to be able to survive an apocalypse. Who knows if they could really withstand nuclear war – but mutually assured destruction, that’s a pact he’s used to, anyway, isn’t it? Don’t raise your right hand and I won’t raise mine - he could die tonight if one of the guys at the Alveare suddenly decided to go on a rampage, but that doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen.

Besides, it feels like there’s a war every other minute, like America can’t take one single global conflict out on the benches. There could be a truce in the morning, or it could last the next 50 years, but he knew that if the Iron Curtain lifted tomorrow, he would still be too much of a coward to ask Ennis to marry him, so why wait until tomorrow? Why not stop being a coward today?

Of course, it was easier said than done. He had been racking his brain for the past week to come up with a good way to lead up to it, but everything he came up with felt too contrived; he could cook a fancy meal, or invite her out dancing, but she would smell it from a mile away, then the pressure would mount and he would chicken out again.

In the end, they went out for a walk, took in the frost of central park and the crisp, chill air. They sat at a bench in the ramble and watched the chickadees huddle together for warmth on the bare branches, and Firo thought about reaching out to hold Ennis’ hand, but ended up thinking about it too much to actually do it. When the tips of Ennis’ ears went red from the cold, they walked a short distance to a nearby cafe and ordered hot chocolates.

It was there that, with the light chatter around them to break the silence, Firo managed to get a few words out.

“I think you’re beautiful,” he said quickly, almost tripping over his own words. “And I’d like to kiss you.” He kept his eyes fixed on his drink, worried that if he looked up he would see Ennis’ expression change - to confusion, or disgust, or, worst of all, pity. “I can think up some clever lines, if you give me a bit of time, but… I guess I just wanted to say that, first.”

Ennis said nothing, but scooched around the booth to sit beside him. A moment later, he felt a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Is that a good place to start?” Ennis asked him. He looked up to meet her eyes, resting his forehead against hers.

“That’s perfect,” he said, and answered her kiss with one of his own.

#baccano!#baccano #firo prochainezo #ennis (baccano!)#berylliant writing

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itsevanffs · 3 years

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Hihi!! I've been hyperfixating on tommary lately and I absolutely loved (In the dark!)! I wanted to see if u have any tommary/harrymort fics that u recommend.. preferably ones that feature a possessive Tom ^^ ty in advance

I guess this would be the right time to publicly declare my bookmarks as open? Everything on there is a hard rec, and I vigorously quality-check those... for my liking and my liking only. (Sorry, not sorry. They're there for me, after all.)

That being said, hmm. I've got a few you might like.

Below the cut: more (additionally to my bookmarks) Tomarrymort (Tomarry or Harrymort) recommendations with possessive/obsessive Tom in alphabetical order; NOT order of how much I enjoy them. I'd argue I enjoy them all equally, just in different ways.

Ps: thank you! I'm incredibly flattered you liked my work :D

and don't let the police know anything by littlecupkate https://archiveofourown.org/works/24920947

Ted Dirlod is dangerous, Harry Potter knows this for a fact, but the man was still his only hope at escaping a doomed fate. It is never wise to blackmail a crime lord. It is even more unwise(?) when said crime lord is obsessed with you. An expanded version of "praying to whatever's in heaven, please send me a felon"

Genuinely lovely? Ticks all my boxes, at least, and minimal angst, which is always a plus. That being said, you should probably read the work mentioned in the summary as well for context. But hey. Two cakes by one person ;) Can never go wrong, can it?

As Certain Dark Things Are to be Loved by Strange_Soulmates https://archiveofourown.org/works/6015619

Tom was Harry's best friend growing up and his first love. At eight, Harry gave Tom his first kiss before moving away. As a freshman in college, the name of the RA on the door across the hall is terribly familiar.

Also absolutely deliciously indulgent. Tom is a possessive terror and Harry loves him for it. Need I say more?

Harry Potter and the Search for Ancient Magic (series) by Snickerdoodlepop https://archiveofourown.org/series/1133141

Once Voldemort realizes that Harry Potter is his horcrux, his plans change drastically. So does Draco Malfoy's assignment for the school year. Harry's sixth year starts going very differently. Snape is on a mission. Harry needs to learn pureblood politics. Draco Malfoy is trying to convince Harry to forgive him. Voldemort finds himself visiting Harry Potter in his dreams. Everyone is realizing that no one is quite what they thought. And through it all, there's a mystery. What is Ancient Magic? Can Harry use it to save himself or will it pull him toward the dark side?

Honestly, genuinely, hands down the best fucking tomarrymort series I've ever read. Hard, hard rec from here. The first work is completed and the second is in progress, so it's a nice pile of words to chew through!

can't commit to anything but a crime by caelesti https://archiveofourown.org/works/27286483

Excitement is the word he does not dare utter, even in the privacy of his own mind. It’s wrong, he knows. These women are people, in their own right; people with fears and aspirations, with friends and families and dreams, and to have anything cut those lives short is nothing but tragic. To have anyone cut those lives short is nothing but condemnable. He doesn’t have James Potter’s laugh lines, but he does have his father’s innate flair for danger. He doesn’t have Lily Potter’s enthusiasm, but he does have her insatiable curiosity. (In every world, Harry will excel at finding the biggest spot of trouble available and sticking his nose in it.)

Hot serial killer serial killer hot. That's it, those are the thoughts. Please read.

Dripping Fingers by May_May_0_0 https://archiveofourown.org/works/25440826

When Harry finds Tom Riddle's diary he does not write 'Hello.' He does not write anything at all. He draws. Tom Riddle falls in love with the artwork. _________________ Sketch by sketch, drawing by drawing, the ink Harry pours into the diary manifests as creations in Tom's monochrome world.

Okay so if I'm the reincarnation of Shakespeare, May_May_0_0 is fucking... Ted Hughes. Which doesn't say much to your average viewer but that man wrote my favourite poem ever (the one I based my war fic off) and I hold him in very high regard. This story? It is poetry in its rawest form. Pure, condensed beauty. If you decide to read only one of the fics in this list, please choose this one.

Either must die at the hand of the other by Metalomagnetic https://archiveofourown.org/works/29356095

Voldemort survives the Battle of Hogwarts because Harry Potter had not been the one to kill him, as the prophecy demands.

When is Metalomagnetic not a master of words? When will I cease becoming breathless at every paragraph, at every cleverly twisted word that comes back and reveals itself so beautifully later?

Fine Line by galaxiesundone https://archiveofourown.org/works/26949952

Magic always leaves traces. The lingering darkness of Sectumsempra, combined with Harry’s nature as a horcrux, awakens the soul piece contained within Ravenclaw’s diadem. At twenty years old, Tom Riddle walks a fine line between man and monster, the devil and the light-bringer in one. His influence forces Harry to face an ancient enemy unlike anything he has faced before: temptation.

Long story short: Tom Riddle is Hot and Good At Being Hot and Harry truly doesn't stand a chance and I am here for it. Lord help me I love this fic to pieces.

Good Intentions by Strange_Soulmates https://archiveofourown.org/works/7035334

Five year old Harry Potter meets and befriends a seventeen year old Tom Riddle while hanging out at his dad’s station. James Potter decides to take Tom under his wing, using Tom’s connection with Harry to try and keep the teen grounded, even as he begins to investigate the Death Eaters, a dangerous organized crime group and their mysterious leader only known as Lord Voldemort.

The sheer potential of this fic. The horrible, terrible dread of future events that have yet to be revealed. I will cry.

Honey, Smoke, Shiver by machiavelli https://archiveofourown.org/works/16068062

Harry - Omega, only son of Lord Potter - is nothing more than a useful playing card in a political game of power and money, one that is bought by the famed Tom Riddle: powerful, dangerous, pureblood Alpha. Unsurprisingly, Harry loves being underestimated.

Machiavelli is always a rec from me. Sorry lads but that's the way it is. Never a moment where I won't recommend their stuff.

Sickly-Sweet Obsession by maquira https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259103

Quiet, studious Tom Riddle spends his first year thirsting after an older student—Gryffindor’s Quidditch Captain, Harry Potter. His crush is common knowledge, and even Harry finds it cute… at first. Possessiveness spawns monstrosities. Tom does all within his power to mess with Harry’s dating life. And one seemingly harmless crush spirals into something darker, begetting deadly consequences.

Again; the potential. Delicious. This will bloom into something beautifully twisted, I'm sure of it.

Stars, Hide Your Fires by Audair https://archiveofourown.org/works/27745546

Riddle’s undivided attention snapped to him with the swiftness of shattering glass. His turbulent magic receded from where it had besieged the shop. "You,” he breathed. Coiling in leisurely motions, the eager tendrils of his magic reached for Harry, swathing about his limbs and neck and chest with a liquid, flowing fascination. "I’ve been looking for you,” Riddle continued, tilting his head to the side and sweeping his gaze over Harry. It was an appraisal that felt simultaneously like the raking of iron nails and the tender drapery of silk. It was so familiar, and yet… so foreign. In the winding streets of Knockturn Alley, an intricate dance of mutual obsession unravels between twenty-three-year-old Tom Riddle and a time-travelling Harry Potter.

This work has recently been undergoing a rewrite, and I can tell you with certainty it's only gotten better for it. It's beautiful; the setting, the atmosphere, the vibes... Perfection. Captures Knockturn Alley's mood impeccably and does not disappoint a single moment.

the pleasure, the privilege by asterisms https://archiveofourown.org/works/21227528

It begins with Vernon Dursley's body, dead across the table. In which Voldemort is dosed with amortentia, and nothing is better for it.

Completed, terrifying... and gorgeous.

The Shrike (to your sharp and glorious thorn) by PaperWorlds https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380079

Shrike: A songbird with a sharply hooked bill, known for their habit of catching insects and small vertebrates and impaling their bodies on thorns, the spikes on barbed-wire fences, or any available sharp point. A young Harry Potter survives an attack by notorious serial killer Voldemort. Over a decade later, they meet again.

Lads I'm so desperate for an update from this fic that I might cry if I think about it for too long. I keep saying it and I'll say it again; this is one of those fics with amazing potential that are sure to never disappoint no matter what path they take. An incredibly hard rec.

To Raise a Servant by bluegrass https://archiveofourown.org/works/19780816

Tom had found the boy amidst pouring rain. He figured he'd always wanted a pet snake.

Surprisingly not quite as dark as the summary makes it seem? I certainly enjoyed it, though, and that's why it's on this list.

What He Grows To Be by Severus_divides_into_H https://archiveofourown.org/works/19042240

Tom Riddle is a frightening coil of darkness, cruelty, and greatness, and changing him is Harry’s only hope for saving people he loves. Going back in time, he takes Tom from the orphanage, but his optimism shatters with every year they spend together. Tom still longs for darkness. Tom stifles him in his possessiveness. Tom is fixated on him to the point of destroying the world just to keep him. But Harry loves him. And the future changes.

Beautiful. And absolutely terrifying. I've started crying mid-scene at least three times for this fic, and it honestly seems unfathomable if you haven't read it if you're on my profile, since I think this is one of the fics that have shaped my style and ambitions. It is what I aspire to be.

#fic rec #fic recs #tomarry #tomarrymort #harrymort #fanfic #ask #anon ask

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angstymarauder · 3 years

Text

Arch Enemies {M.M}

Marlene McKinnon x Female!reader ; marauders era

summary: where two long-time rivals realize how thin the line between love and hate really are after an unfortunate quidditch incident.

word count: 3.4k ish

contains: angst, fluff, a heated kiss?, side of wolfstar,

a/n: i didn’t re-read it bc I'm lazy. Also if people could drop some wlw angsty harry potter recs that would be phenomenal.

· · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · · · · · ∞ · · ·

Marlene McKinnon has been your rival since as far back in your Hogwarts years as you can remember. Always at each other’s heads. Always a competition between the two of you. Always striving to be better than the other.

The two of you made just about everything a competition. Chess Matches. Pranking. Grades. Eating. Walking. Detentions (you almost got kicked out of Hogwarts that year.)

Anything that could somehow be made competitive, you two competed. And while you tended to beat her with grades, she often beat you in things that took place outside of the classroom.

The Marauders, apparently, have been placing bets and keeping track of your wins against one another. Lily even claims that one time she walked into their room unexpectedly and caught them writing on a poster on their wall that had both your names in big letters on each side and a series of tallies below each with dates and event names on the bottom, but as soon as they saw her one of them casted a spell to make it disappear.

This year was no different. You knew it was stupid to believe that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to try out for the quidditch team without Marlene fighting you for the same spot. You have no real desire to be on the quidditch team, quite honestly, but your older siblings play quidditch, your parents played quidditch, your aunts, your uncles, your cousins, your grandparents, your great-grandparents.

You have a quidditch family and you do not want to can not disappoint them.

The hope that Marlene may leave you alone for this one was shattered, as you expected it to be, when you walk into the team's locker room, a bag of quidditch gear in your hand. “Y/L” Marlene spoke as soon as her eyes met yours. Her eyes widened more than usual, a change most people don’t notice, but then again, you’re not most people. You know Marlene better than anyone else, you’ve memorized the meaning of every look in her eyes, every curve of her lips, every flick of her hands. You know her brain, how she works, what she is thinking, for the most part at least because right now you found yourself momentarily confused by the surprise lacing her voice. Why is she so surprised? Did she not expect you to be there? Your thoughts are cut short when the blonde standing at the other side of the room clears her throat in an attempt to reactive her favorite tone of voice when speaking to you, cockiness, “you going for the beater position too?”

“Yea,” you respond, walking over to one of the lockers.

“May the best player win,” you continued unpacking your bag, putting on the final touches to your uniform, but you didn’t need to look at her to know that she was smirking as she spoke, you could hear it clear enough in her voice.

She awaited a snarky response from you, you know that, but you didn’t want to waste your energy on a catfight right now. Your anxiety is already through the roof, there is enough pressure on you at the moment that you feel like your brain physically cannot handle any more conflict, so you ignore her.

Her eyes burn holes into your body as you continue to pull your knee pads on. Eventually, the door opens and you listen to her steps as she walks out of the locker room, closing the door with a slam and leaving you all alone.

It’s not long before you’re 100% ready for tryouts. You stare at yourself in the bathroom mirror for a moment before leaving. Taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm your nerves. Calm your mind. It helps a little bit, but maybe not enough.

· · · ∞ · · ·

“Y/L! Watch out!” is the last thing you hear before everything goes black.

The tryouts were going great, James was the captain this year and after stealing a glance at his little sheet, you could tell that you were going to beat Marlene out for this spot.

You should’ve been happier with that knowledge than you were, but somewhere deep down you almost wanted Marlene to beat you. This wasn't what you wanted and by the look in her eyes, you knew that this was what she wanted. A strange feeling arose in your chest each time she looked at you during tryouts, her eyes conveyed a message you hadn’t seen her wear yet and all you wanted to do was decode it. To understand why her eyes looked… sad? Almost. Like she knew you were going to beat her and she was upset about it. She’s never been upset before, always a team player. She took her losses as they came and just vowed to beat you next time. But for some reason… for some reason this was different.

· · · ∞ · · ·

Marlene’s Pov:

You looked so pretty. Flyaway hairs and a look of determination on your face as you swatted away Bludgers so effortlessly. She loved quidditch, but she wasn't as good as you. Jealous, not because you’ll win whatever competition the two of you are probably making out of this, but jealous because she knows she won’t get the position she’s been working her ass off for. Lost in thought she doesn't even notice the bludger coming towards her, luckily she hits it just in time, but then… Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Marlene watched as the bludger tumbled straight towards you, “Y/L! Watch out,” was all she could get in before it hit you right in the head.

· · · ∞ · · ·

The first thing you felt when you woke up was an intense pounding in your skill that caused an unconscious groan to leave your mouth. As you increasingly became aware your head began hurting more and more. You went to bring your hand up to rub your eyes in an attempt to wake yourself up when you felt another hand on yours. Opening your eyes only increased your headache, but the desire to know whose hand was holding yours overruled the pain. Their hand was soft, warm, it felt like … like home. That's the only word you could find in this pain-forsaken state to properly describe the feeling.

The blur of a person who held your hand made you think you were crazy. You found yourself blinking a few times in attempts to clear your vision, not initially trusting your eyes and barely trusting them now as you see Marlene McKinnon's hand, holding yours.

Marlene McKinnon.

Your arch-nemesis?

The one who practically hates you?

Yea… her.

What the fuck.

Why is she holding your hand… and why do you never want her to let go?

You can feel your lips curve up into an unconscious smile as you stare at the place where her hand connects with yours before roaming your eyes up to her figure to her sleeping face being held up by her other hand, elbow resting on her armchair next to your bed. She looks so peaceful, so beautiful, and you wonder why you’ve never noticed how gorgeous she was before. How her lips look so soft and her skin so smooth. The way the waning gibbous moonlight shines into the room from the large infirmary windows and lights her face up in a way you’ve never seen in before and in that moment you want nothing more than to stare at her face like that forever. You don’t even notice your other hand moving up to touch her face until you hear a voice whisper from a few beds over from yours. “Oh, you’re up.” Startled, you feel like you were just caught committing a crime and immediately pull your hand back to where it was before. Marlene shifts in her sleep from your quick movements and you’re watching this moment slip through your fingers, silently begging whatever runs the universe to let you stay in this moment just a little bit longer. Thankfully, they answer and Marlene stills, returning to her peaceful sleep. “Don’t worry, Lils says she sleeps like a log.”

You giggle at these words, turning to face Remus with a smile, “yea, she does. We can never get her up in the morning.” “It’s the same with Sirius. He never wants to wake up.” The two of you giggle quietly, afraid to wake up anyone in the castle this late at night, especially the girl sitting beside you. You talk about Remus first, asking if the full moon the night before was really that bad that Pomfrey made him stay overnight again and if he's okay. He assures you that he is fine and redirects the conversation to you, “What about you? Are you okay?”

“I don’t even know what happened to me,” you tell him, “or why my head hurts so much or why M-” you pause, now looking at the girl. You’re scared of speaking the words out loud, afraid it may reveal that her presence is only a dream or a figment of your imagination and that you will sound crazy if you speak about it.

“Or why Marlene is here, holding your hand.” Remus finishes your sentence.

“Or that.” you turn your gaze back to Remus, now wishing the moon was a little darker so your close friend can’t see the blush that is surely on your face.

“Well to answer your first questions,” started Remus, “You got hit with a bludger during tryouts, Marlene and Sirius rushed u in here while I was taking a nap - thanks for that by the way”

“Sorry” you giggled

“- and then Sirius went back to practice, as for McKinnon there, she refused to leave. I think she feels bad cause she's the one that hit you. Pomfrey said you probably have a concussion which means you can’t … well you can’t play quidditch this year.” You should be focusing on the quidditch part, it was something you were working so hard for, but you can’t stop your mind from trailing off to her. Is she only here because she feels bad? Or is there more to it? You hope it's more. You’re not sure when these feelings came to fruition, but they’re there now and you’re worried about getting your hopes up because it means risking yourself getting let down.

“I think she likes you,” you take a minute to process the werewolves' words, glancing between the blonde’s head and her hand.

“You think so?” you say with a hopeful smile.

“I think she’s liked you since first year and you’re just too oblivious to realize it,” you look up with him, your confused face causing a slight chuckle to leave his lips, “I’m observant, you know that but it's not that difficult to see how in love you two are, even though you act like you hate each other. I think she knows what she feels,” you both glanced at the girl, “and I think you just figured out what you feel.”

You smile at his words. “I think you’re right,” you admit, too tired to be stubborn and reject what your heart says is a fact.

“Just wait till January to tell everyone please, I have a bet going with the boys and- “ Suddenly the door to the infirmary opens, Remus goes quiet with confusion and Marlen begins to stir from the noise. She’s really waking up this time, you immediately close your eyes, unsure of what else to do or even say to her. You can feel her eyes on your face, her hand holding yours. “Good morning sleepyhead,” remarked Remus. You curse out his name in your head as you feel Marlene’s hand immediately rip out of yours. All you want to do is look at her face, read her mind. Was she embarrassed? Ashamed? Your mind went to the worst.

“How’s the girlfriend?” marked a new voice, Sirius. Of course. Who else would come to the infirmary this late other than Sirius to check up on Remus?

“She’s not my girlfriend.” remarked Marlene, her tone sending a brief stab of pain through your own heart, “I don’t even like her,” another stab.

“Yea, okay, and Moonys not my werewolf boyfriend.” You would’ve laughed, hearing the noises of Remus hitting Sirius in response to his words, but your mind was stuck on the words of the girl who was still standing close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off her body.

“I don’t like her,” she said, her words laced with annoyance and anger, “In fact, I hate her. We’re literally enemies.”

“Then why are you here then?” Remus rebutted, he probably meant to be helpful, but the words she spoke next only made your heart ache more.

“Because I’m not a monster! I hit her with the bludger and I felt bad. That’s it. Nothing else.” you were almost thankful when you started to hear her moving around, collecting her stuff, tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes and you didn’t want her to see. “I’m tired so I’m going, goodbye.” And with that you waited, listening to the sounds of her footsteps, getting quieter with each moment. You listened to the opening and closing of the infirmary door and only dared to open your eyes again once you could no longer hear the clicking of her shoes down the hallway.

“You okay?” Remus spoke first, witnessing the silent tears now streaming down your face. You wish you stayed asleep. You wish you never looked at her. Never let yourself feel something you knew she wouldn’t reciprocate. You curse yourself for believing Remus’ hopeful words.

“Fine,” you spoke quietly before turning to your side, the back facing the two boys who get to share the kind of romance you find yourself only able to dream about.

“M’Sorry,” you heard Remus whisper, before the weight of your head and your heart lulled you into a dreamless sleep.

· · · ∞ · · ·

You woke up to Madam Pomfrey's voice urging you awake. Her soft voice reminded you of your mother and made you want to curl up into her arms and cry, Marlene's words last night still resting their weight on your chest. “How are you this morning, love?” she asks, placing a plate of food on the bedside table, you're thankful that she doesn't mention the tear stains that probably made their home on your cheeks last night.

“M’fine,” you mumble, “better.”

“Good, good,” she smiles, handing you a glass of water that you didn’t realize how much you needed until the whole glass was gone in a minute and Madam Pomfrey had to fetch you a new one. “Took a big hit yesterday, that Miss McKinnon has a good arm.” You hum in agreeance, an attempt to not be rude to the elder in front of you, but hearing her name still hurts, the wound of her words still leaving scars on your heart that haven’t even begun to scab. “Speaking of the devil,” the nurse spoke, your head raising up to see Marlene's figure entering the curtain that surrounded your bed. Her hair looked so soft, messier than you usually see it, but you liked it. You couldn’t stop your eyes from travelling down her face, taking in her beauty while she was awake. Bags plagued her beautiful brown eyes, she didn't sleep much last night. Your gaze moved to her lips, the same lips that unknowingly cut scars along your heart mere hours ago. Memories from the night before that you had allowed yourself to forget for a moment returned as fast as they left, returning the heartache that accompanies them. Suddenly, you found the hem of your shirt more interesting, keeping your gaze and your hands on that. “I’ll leave you two alone,” spoke Madam Pomfrey, ignoring the tension-filled silence that laid in the air, “I’d like to keep you here for a little while longer but you should be discharged by dinner,” and with that she left the two of you alone, your breaking heart not even strong enough to look at her.

“Hey,” she spoke first, breaking the silence, but not moving from her spot where she stood at the end of your bed. “Sorry I hit you with a bludger,” she tried to joke, but the tension was too thick that it was just awkward.

“Why are you here?” you ask, a sudden surge of bravery coming from the anger that stems from your sadness.

“Wh-What?”

“Why are you here?” “Because I feel bad? Because I'm not a total bitch and I care about you?” she remarks.

“Why do you care?” your voice grows louder, angrier than you want it, but you’re too stubborn to stop speaking now. “I can’t play anymore, you got the spot on the team, didn’t you? “I mean you said it yourself we’re enemies, right? You hate me?” you continue, repeating her words from last night. “So isn’t this what you wanted? You won. You beat me. Congratulations.”

“So you were eavesdropping?” she asks, her tone attempting to stay angry, but her eyes revealing that look you’re slowly seeing more and more often.

“It’s not eavesdropping if I’m lying right there.”

“Merlin, y/n, I don’t hate you!”

“Liar.”

“You’re so stubborn,” she yells, getting closer to your face.

“If you don’t hate me then why would you say it?” You sat up, both your voices were raising, anger surging through the air.

“Because I don’t hate you! I love you,” she yelled, and then everything went quiet. She loves me? Only now did you realize how close your faces were. Her lips were inches from yours, your ragged breaths intermingled with one another, both of you already exhausted from your previous argument. You looked up from her lips to her eyes, just to find them already staring into yours.

“You what?” you whispered so low that only she could hear it.

“ I-” her eyes were filled with fear. Fear that her feelings won’t be reciprocated. Fear to express the vulnerable emotion that has plagued her heart for how long? You don’t know. So you move forward and capture her lips in yours.

After the initial surprise, Marlene began to kiss you back, her hands finding the back of your neck and your head while yours found her hips. You broke apart too soon for your liking and she rested her forehead on yours. One of your hands moved to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear before speaking. “I love you too.” You watched as her eyes lit up with joy and you couldn’t help but smile. “I get a point on the leaderboard for admitting it first,” she chuckled.

“Mmhm,” you hummed in agreeance leaning forward again so your lips brushed against hers as you spoke, “but I get one for kissing you first.”

“Dammit,” she whispered, before leaning in for another kiss.

· · · ∞ · · ·

“So Gryffindor Beater, huh?” you asked Marlene. The two of you laid together in the infirmary bed, her back pressed up against half of your chest, your arm hanging around her shoulder twirling and untwirling her hair with your one hand while both her hands played with the fingers of your other.

“Yea, James said it’s mine if I want it, but I don’t need to take it if you don’t want me to.”

“No, merlin no,” you said quickly, “I know how much you want that spot, I barely even wanted it. Was only doing it because with my family I felt like I had to.”

“Really?” She looked up at you hopefully, “you don't mind.”

“Nope.” “Promise?”

“Promise.” She gave her a peck on the lips before turning her head around again. “Plus, you’re going to look so hot in that uniform, I feel like I’ll be the real winner in this situation.” Your words earn a loud laugh from the girl in your arms and you feel like you're on cloud 9. You place a quick kiss on her temple and want nothing more than to be the one to make her laugh for the rest of your lives. Lives that you hopefully get to spend together.

Meanwhile…

“Told you so,” he whispered.

“I should’ve kept my mouth shut,” the second boy groaned, placing coins into the other boy's outstretched hand.

“Yea, but look how cute they are, Moony the Matchmaker.”

“Oh shut up Padfoot,” he groaned, “I’m hungry, let's go to dinner.” “Whatever you say handsome,” barked the boy before looping arms with his lover and walking away from the two girls in the infirmary who looked utterly and completely infatuated with one another.

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soukokuwu · 4 years

Note

hi there! hope ur doing well esp in times like these. i must say i absolutely adore ur writing. both the chuuya angst fics literally made me cry. i never cried to any other fics before. it was amazing. may i request an angst scenario where Dazai has an s/o & a person from his past (from his port mafia days) wanted revenge on him. now Dazai is incredibly smart & manipulative & they know that (impossible to kill) so they go after s/o & kills them. i hope i'm not bothering u. have a nice day/night.

something left unguarded.

genre. angst (dazai x reader) warnings. death, kidnapping/implied assault synopsis. there are times when dazai wishes he’s dead. this is one of those times. word count. 1.8k author notes. hi kitty! sorry this took me ungodly long, and i’m not sure if this is what you were looking for but i hope it’s okay!! <33

there’s some unspoken things that come together with love.

for dazai, that’s the slow crumbling of his walls; the surrendering of firearms. he finds himself unfurling easily at the seams, and regarding what seems impossible for the vast majority, it’s like white on rice for you. best thing is? it comes easy, effortless. you don’t try to be someone you’re not; dazai can tell. you are just unapologetically, undoubtedly you. that’s the beauty of it all, to him.

never has he felt like this, in the crack of dawn, lying next to you on the bed, the distant sounds of the birds and your breathing is all he can hear. it’s weird — he used to hear so many voices in his head, so many conflicting ones telling him to kill himself and yet others telling him to stay because there’s bound to be something that makes him want to live.

the latter is right. because now look at him. he’s not hearing whispers in his mind, the condescending, doubtful voices are gone. it’s peace.

all that fills his thoughts are you. who was he, even, before he met you? he knows, he always knows, he’s mostly self-aware. but then, he doesn’t want to. doesn’t want to remember the person he used to be, because he loves who he is now, with you. do the voices come back sometimes? absolutely. but a minor interaction with you and he feels tranquililty. and he has no doubt that you are the only one capable of such a feat.

he always thought fear was the accompaniment of walls breaking down. why did you make him feel like it was liberating instead? is it just the impossible amount of trust he’s put into you? he doesn’t have to ever ask himself anything, never does he ever feel like he needs to doubt you. ever.

you’re a peculiar little thing, always doing what you think is best for him. you rarely ever do think of yourself, do you? that’s why dazai takes it upon himself to give you what you deserve, a wholesome, warming kind of romance, even if he isn’t so sure about it himself. dazai doesn’t know romance apart from those that’s raved about in books and movies. his whole life is an endless pit of darkness — that’s up ’til the point he met you, of course.

so if the novel, theatric kind of love is the only form of romance he knows, then the least he can do is give you that.

dazai turns and watches as you rest peacefully, weaving his fingers through your hair, appreciating the patterns of your chest rising and falling. how long has it been since he’s first watched you like this before you wake? he doesn’t really recall the exact number of days, but it’s around three years? and he can definitely deal with a lot more than this.

talks about the future has always been taboo for him. not that he hates it, but it’s because he can never feel excited about it. and frankly, it’s much more of a chore than anything. so now, catching himself actually envisioning a future with you? it feels surreal.

the two of you have a routine: wake up, make breakfast, kiss goodbye before work, actually work, come home, have dinner, maybe take a bath together before you go to bed. it’s habitual by now — everything on the list. and while the morning is no different, the afternoon definitely is.

first there is the anonymous letter he finds in his top desk drawer. nothing but a blank paper with a single ominous line of “this is for back then”. nothing else. just a single line written in blood red ink. the weretiger next to him seems a little freaked out by it, so it’s easy to tell that whoever did this made the effort to come in earlier than anyone to place this in his desk. and maybe they expected to elicit some other behaviour from him. distress? fear?

whatever it is though, it doesn’t get to him. he crumples it up and tosses it in the bin. (he misses it, but it’s not like he cares.)

he goes the rest of the afternoon in ignorant bliss. he texts you halfway though, asking if your lunch today was any good.

would be better if you were here, osamu.

dazai forgets for just a moment that you usually only type out osa. because that’s what you do to him sometimes — you make him let his guard down. he wastes no time replying you.

oh yeah, why’s that, darling? ;)

the next message that chimes in has his heart take a deep dive into the ground below him. it’s a picture. of a vile, disgusting man licking the side of your head, with you tied up to a chair, unconscious.

because then maybe she won’t be so boring like this.

not even bothering to explain, all dazai does is grab atsushi by the collar and drag him out of the agency. he’s the only combative one present currently, and frankly, if it comes to a fistfight, having him there is enough. of course, dazai is not planning to spare anyone. they dared touch you?

they’re as good as dead.

dazai never thinks letting his guard down is a crime. but he thinks the ultimate sin he’s committed? that he let himself slack on his guarding of you. because the moment he gets to you at your apartment, he realises it’s never been a race against time. the moment the picture was sent, you were already gone.

and the culprits are long gone, disappeared without a trace. except for the disgusting wet track of where his tongue traced your skin earlier. usually, dazai would go after them immediately, track them down and plan their demise.

it would have been his plan. had you been just another body, another death count. but you’re not. you’re his lady, his angel, his life. yet you’re lifeless now, your chest doesn’t rise up and down like it should. your body is dense, somewhat dry. it’s completely… not you.

atsushi doesn’t know what to do, he stands in the corner with his eyes trained on his superior who’s letting out more emotion than atsushi thinks he has in his entire life. he feels like he should console him somehow, but he knows that’s selfish thinking. dazai won’t appreciate that.

he’s right. dazai won’t. because the only person capable of giving him any sliver of hope in this god-forsaken world is gone. her body but an empty vessel, reminding him of who he once was and how he had longed to be.

and oh, how he longs to join you now.

worst part is? dazai can find no one to blame. no one but himself. not even the man who offed you. dazai recognises him, from way back in his port mafia days. which means there’s no one to blame but the person he once was, the one you made him feel like he and reprieve from.

until now.

losing you is his punishment, isn’t it? for everything he’s done. this is his judgement day and you’re another one of his sad victims. it’s your body, limp in his arms, eyes wide open and the complete stillness of it all.

and he realises maybe this is what people mean when they talk about ‘deathly silence’. he never thought that losing just the sound of your breathing would feel like this and yet here he is, with another casualty in his arms.

yet another soul he can’t save.

and dazai… despite all his attempts, is still alive.

it’s cliche, but it’s true.

the worst day of loving someone is the day you lose them.

except when they’re still around, it’s easy to take every moment for granted. because who, when they think they have everything, will think of the moment they’d lose it? sure, it may come in glimpses, but you never hover over it long enough for it to actually matter.

until it happens.

cups of hot chocolate and cuddling up to each other in the winters. words of affirmation and warmth bubbling inside chests. security of routines and safety of arms.

dazai can’t stop thinking of things that remind him of you. thinking of the good times like you’re still alive is the only thing that keeps him from breaking as they lower you into the ground.

you’re almost in there and all he can think about is the first time he tells you he loves you, the first proper time he lets his guard down. how you were on the couch with your legs tucked against your chest, misty eyes giving away just how much the whole situation means to you. you see, he always knew you had a fear of falling, but he never knew just how much, until that moment.

“you click your tongue whenever something annoys you, you subconsciously like to walk between the lines on tiled floors, you blame yourself for things that are out of your control,” dazai had told you. and he remembered the look in your eyes — that surprise, that gratefulness — because you never thought that anyone would spare you that much attention, did you? especially not him, who you knew would never spend time on anything that’s unimportant.

but he paid attention to you more than anything else.

“i love you, belladonna,” he had assured you, inching close and holding you in his arms. you always needed reassurance, and while dazai would usually think it’s a burden, nothing was when it came to you. “you may think you’re a mess, but i think you’re perfect.”

he lets your giggle be the last thing that fills his mind as they finally lowered you into the ground. and he doesn’t wait for it to be filled before he spins around and walks away. the next memory he remembers being a promise made. of how you told him not to do anything rash should you ever go first, not even in old age. (he thought it was cute how far ahead you thought of for the future — something he finds he needs now; a future with you.)

and that’s the thing about letting your guard down; you let them have a slight control over your decisions. because now, despite every bone in his body aching to throw himself off a cliff, he finds he can’t quite do so. why? he remembers the life in your eyes when he agrees to that promise, the absolute faith you have in him that he loves you that much to abide by your one wish for him. yet in his head a constant question beckons him, chants itself in his mind like a mantra.

i just want to join you, is that so wrong?

tags. @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes @animatedarchives

#bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #bsd dazai x reader #dazai x reader #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd oneshot #bsd scenarios #rachwrote #bsd dazai osamu #bsd imagines #bsd dazai oneshot #bsd dazai imagines #bsd dazai scenarios #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

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another-fckn-incorrect-svt-blog · 4 years

Note

im a new carat and trying to learn seventeen's names and everything. are there any fandom inside jokes and songs by them that you can reccomend to me?? :D

Oh Hello new carat!!! Welcome to the family!

Hmmm lemme think how best to answer this - I know there are a good number of really good ‘Guide to Svt’ videos on youtube so I super recommend those!! Here is my (abbreviated) intro to the members, including some of my favorite moments from each: Seungcheol: Leader but also Baby. An absolute sweetheart, would die to protect this man. Favorite meme moments include when he ate a whole tube of toothpaste to keep the other members from getting it, his Dorky Dad Dancing or his ‘YAWAWOOOO!’.

Jeonghan: I call him Con Artist because he is. This boy is so Clever, and I relate to him because I too attempt to cheat at every game. He is one half of the Evil Twins who like to (lovingly) bully Seungcheol. Favorite moments include Every Time he’s cheated in a game and how willing he is to sleep at Any Time.

Joshua: Acts like a gentleman, is just as evil as his twin. Don’t believe the ‘church boy’ image PLEDIS tried to push for him. Favorite meme moments include his ‘sexy’ dance and... whatever went on when he was inflating a bottle with his nose.

Junhui: My bias, I love this boy Literally so much. He’s a bit of a shy bean but he’s also Weird As Fuck. Favorite moments include the strange dubbing videos he kept posting where he was providing voices for corgis and other animals, his excitement over his hot dog cooking machine and every time he mirrors whatever the others are doing (it’s really cute).

Soonyoung: Performance leader, absolute Meme, the Ultimate Gemini (legit he is gemini in Every house). Fun fact I want to fight him because he jumped in front of me at a random dance play and scared the SHIT out of me. Kind of a furry but we love him for it. Favorite moments include breaking into Jihoon’s studio to record a song about tigers & that time he almost fought some sasaengs.

Wonwoo: Probably in possession of SVT’s only braincell except it also goes on vacation sometimes. A beautiful, intelligent and sensitive nerd who I would commit crimes to protect. Favorite meme is definitely his line in Home where Carats all yell back at him in a super deep voice. Also his ‘hamburger’ aegyo is fucking cute.

Jihoon: Vocal leader, Genius Producer, literal definition of Tsundere. Probably has the braincell whenever Wonwoo doesn’t. He writes and produces nearly all of SVT’s songs - we STAN a hardworking man. Favorite meme moments include when he tried to hit Mingyu with a guitar and when he dodged everyone’s hugs onstage and ended up lifting one of the others over his shoulder.

Mingyu: The gentle giant, world’s biggest puppy dog. Essentially a real-life mary su - handsome, talented, but extremely clumsy. Can do no wrong, please protect him from himself. Favorite moments include every single time he’s dropped or broken something on camera, or his ‘AKITA SOUND!!!’

Seokmin: Someone help this boy I love him so much but he has No Braincells. Negative Braincells. But it’s okay because he’s so pure and sweet and has one of if not The most powerful voice in kpop. Favorite moments include when he touched some noodles and was so shook that his soul left his body, or just his general Screaming.

Minghao: A wine-drinking eboy art hoe and we Love him for it. Our fashion king, models everywhere are Shaking. Drops some Wisdom Bombs every now and then, we stan a woke king. Favorite moments include doing acrobatics out of Nowhere without his glasses even falling off, and every time he’s So Done with Jun.

Seungkwan: The world’s sassiest and yet sweetest angel, an absolute Icon. Like Seokmin probably has some of the most powerful vocals in kpop, but is also an absolute Variety King. Comedians everywhere have nothing on this boy. Favorite moments include at the Ode To You tour where any time a member talked too long he yelled ‘IT’S NOT YOUR SOLO CONCERT!’ and his outrage over someone else getting Beyonce as their meyer’s briggs type.

Vernon: This boy. A living meme. Also a fashion icon but in like. The opposite direction from Minghao. Everything he does is so fucking funny how does he do it? Also super sweet and has the best heart. Favorite moments include all his Meme reactions, and when he and Joshua went bungee jumping.

Chan: The future of kpop. An absolute ball of talent and passion, puts 120% into everything he does. Can do Anything, be Anything, and we will support him 120%. Favorite moments include all of his Dino’s Danceology’s, and the absolute regret on his face every time he’s forced to say he’s Jeonghan’s Baby until he’s 30.

And now for some of my favorite songs!

Title Tracks - Hit, Fear, Clap, Getting Closer, Adore U

Ot13 b-sides - Good to Me, Holiday, Crazy in Love, Snapshoot, My My

Japanese Tracks - 24H, Fallin’ Flower, Call Call Call

Unit songs - Change up (Leader line), My I (China line), Rocket (American line), Just Do It (Booseoksoon), Lilili yabbay (Performance Team), Don’t Listen in Secret (Vocal Team), Check In (Hip Hop team)

Sorry this got so long, I hope it was somewhat helpful or at least amusing! Again welcome to the family - in my experience Carats are one of the most welcoming & friendly fandoms, so I hope you enjoy your time here and with seventeen!!

#chet talks #hush up chet #long post for ts #long post //#Anonymous

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dyde21 · 3 years

Text

Learning 2

Read on AO3 HERE

Summary: MJ is worried about Peter, and when she goes to check on him the next day she finds things are worse than she feared. Now can she help him see he needs help?

Michelle Jones was a bit scared by how easy it was to love Peter. What had started out as a simple fascination with an honest nerd with a bright smile turned into a school girl crush, and ended up with them falling in love and being happily together in college. Growing up, MJ never expected herself to end up in a gushy romance story. It wasn’t that she didn’t think she would fall in love, she just figured she’d be older and have a more mature, graceful descent into it.

But life didn’t care about her plans and she found herself lost in Peter’s smiles and safe in his arms. Something she honestly never expected was that her boyfriend would be an actual superhero. That really was less of throwing a wrench in her plans as much as blowing them up all together. But she was Michelle Fucking Jones. She could handle it. She’d learn, make a plan, and deal with it just like everything else in her life.

It definitely wasn’t easy at times. Having to learn basic first aid to help treat him when he stumbled into her apartment beat half to death, learning to keep up to date on all sorts of crazy villains so she could help him when he needed it, whether or not he asked for it. Having to accept that choosing to stay with him meant that there would be an unfortunate number of missed dates, or early departures. A constant worry that he might face a threat he wouldn’t be able to overcome, and the acceptance that her life may be thrown in the crosshairs eventually too.

But that didn’t matter to MJ. Not as much as he did. The way he listened to and absorbed every word she said, earnestly caring about what she was passionate about. The way he did his absolute best to be there for her when he was able to, and almost never blamed her for being upset with him. The way his eyes would crinkle when he laughed, or he’d see past her harsh words or thinly veiled lies to see what she truly meant and was scared to say. His understanding of her defensive habits built up from a rough childhood, and his patience to get through her walls. The way he gave himself for the city, while never asking for anything in return even when he deserved so much more than he had.

Her biggest gripe with him was probably that he tried to shoulder everything on his own. He had lost so much in his life, and she knew he felt like if he tried to reach out too much for someone, he’d only lose them too. He didn’t care about taking care of himself because there was always someone else he could help first, and he saw that as more important. She admired how selfless he was, but it also frustrated her because it went beyond being humble into being neglectful of himself and harmful. But he didn’t seem to be able to accept that fact no matter how hard they all tried to get it into his head. It hurt to be with someone like that, especially because of how much she loved him. But Michelle Jones was not a quitter, and nothing was going to get in the way of them. Not her own defensive nature or his self destructive habits, they’d learn together.

When she heard a knock on her door early on Saturday, her first thought was to look around the room to find a blunt object to bludgeon them with in return. Pulling down the hood of Peter’s hoodie that she had stolen, and needed to replace soon because it was losing his smell, she shuffled her way to the door.

Opening it, she was surprised to see her golden retriever of a boyfriend standing there looking shocked that she answered the door. She realized it had been the first time she had seen his face since he had bailed on their dinner to fight the Rhino. She couldn’t help the flash of frustration that boiled up. She had gone into the night expecting to be disappointed, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still sting when she had to send him off to save the city.

She knew, she knew perfectly that he really didn’t want to leave. She saw him starting to resign himself to staying with her. But she also knew that if someone died because they were having dinner, it’d destroy him on the inside, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty too. Reasonably she also knew that it wasn’t their fault. Neither of them had an obligation to drop everything, always, to deal with every problem. It was impossible to solve crime in New York completely. But she also knew he had to try, so she had sent him off and tried not to let the disappointment sting too much as she paid for the dinner and left, head hung high in defiance.

Then she saw his face though. The way his cheeks seemed a little more sunken, his beautiful brown eyes seeming just a little bit dimmer. Beyond just nerves, he was seeming even more ragged lately, and she doubted it was just because of the dinner. She felt concern growing in her chest at his state. But she was at least glad to see him. She really did miss seeing him, even if they were busy. Even when they were tense around each other, the first person she always wanted to go to for comfort was him.

“Hi.” She offered, seeing as he was still seemingly reeling from being pulled out of whatever internal spiral he had found himself in.

“U-uh hi. Yeah. I just…” He rambled, making her raise an eyebrow. She leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

“I’m kinda busy.” She said, before wincing. That didn’t come out right. She knew he came over here to properly apologize, and probably had something else to tell her. It wasn’t that he was unwelcome, she just had a lot of studying left to do, and the lack of sleep and stress had made her snappy but she didn’t want him to think she was still angry about the dinner. That fight wasn’t worth it, and she had been the one to give him permission to go instead of making him choose between them that night. Ugh, emotions sucked sometimes.

“Right! I know.” He cleared his throat. “I know. I promise I’m not here to bother you. I just… here.”

Peter offered her one of her thermos he had borrowed one night. She took a sip a bit confused until she felt the familiar taste of her current favorite tea. She couldn’t help but smile as she knew he remembered her favorite tea, even if she had a habit of changing it monthly. He still always listened and committed it to memory as if her preferences were something he needed to know more than the material for his midterms.

“Also these. And an apology. I’m really sorry. I know I say that a lot. And it sucks. But I am.” Peter added as MJ found two boxes shoved into her arms too. Looking down, she was surprised as she saw they were boxes of that tea as well. Even when things had been tense, he still went out of his way to bring her a thoughtful gift he really didn’t have to. She wasn’t even waiting for an apology or some sort of peace offering. He had apologized plenty before and after he had left, but he still felt determined to make up the perceived slight to her.

She saw his gaze fall to the floor and she could practically see the crushing guilt he felt for literally saving people’s lives. He really was too kind for this stupid city that did nothing but chew him up and spit him back out. Moving forward, she tilted his chin up after moving her thermos to her other hand and shared a kiss with him.

After the kiss, he stared at her with that adorable slightly dazed expression he always had after they kissed. “I know you have work so I won’t distract you. I just… wanted to give you a little care package, and say I know you’ll rock this. I can proofread your article if you need me to too. Or just to get an opinion.”

Jesus, how did she end up with someone so sweet? He knew she was busy, despite being incredibly busy himself, and just wanted to support her without getting in her way. He also knew she liked getting a second opinion on her writing, and wanted to be there for her despite everything on his plate. Moments like these made her want to ask Stark for a suit just so she could beat up anyone who would dare hurt this man, just so she could keep him safe and give him the world.

“Thanks, Tiger.” She said. She couldn’t get past how ragged he looked though. The bags under his eyes were getting worse and his shoulders were sumping lower than they usually did. “Are you okay though?” She asked as she reached out to gently turn his jaw to get a better look at his profile. What normally made her heart flutter (he was very pretty) was now just making her concerned. His cheekbones weren’t normally this pronounced either, she had sketched them enough times to know for sure.

“Have you been eating? Sleeping? You look like shit.” She called him out, reading his expression to look for any of the rather obvious tells he had for lying. It really was a miracle more people didn’t know his identity because he sucked at lying. Or she had just spent too long staring at his face that she could read him like he was her favorite book. (He was)

“Oh, ouch.” She rolled her eyes, that little shit. He knew exactly what she meant. “Midterms.” Peter brushed off her concerns with a shrug. “Happens to us all. I mean you always look beautiful. But you also look a little less beautiful. Only stunningly gorgeous today.”

He had the audacity to look smug while trying to flatter his way out of her interrogation. No matter how sweet he was, she wasn’t that stupid. She gently shoved his shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to make myself look nice hoping you’d drop by unannounced.” She replied in a dry tone. “But Gwen and I are making sure we take care of each other. You’re still living alone since Ned moved in with Betty. I’m worried.”

MJ was straightforward like always, knowing beating around the bush with Peter didn’t usually lead anywhere. They resolved things better when they got straight to the point, that’s how they functioned as a couple. Peter would be too flighty if you let him when he was trying to hide something. His solution to hiding something was to leave, which always only made it more glaringly obvious.

“I’ll be fine. Just gotta get a lot done this weekend. Then I’ll rest next week sometime. Maybe we can have a night in, no suit, no alerts.” He said with one of the fake smiles MJ hated. She hated seeing him bottle up what he was feeling, and she was pretty sure even he knew she wasn’t fooled by them.

But she was also a little startled by the desperation she could see in his eyes. She was used to seeing some sort of exhaustion, all college students had it. Even the non-super powered ones. But this almost scared her a little. Like the light in his eyes was flickering out and he was desperately searching for something to hold onto. A sort of lifeline to keep him going.

“Yeah. Sounds nice. I’d like that.” She said, honestly meaning that. She wasn't sure if they’d actually get to have that night, but she was desperate to give him the comfort he so clearly needed right now.

She leaned in for another kiss when her eyes saw his collarbones. “Pete, you need to eat. You’re losing weight again.” She scolded. She had also drawn his collarbones to know that they weren’t usually that pronounced either. (She drew him a lot, okay?)

She could see his own walls starting to form as he was rejecting the truth he was running from. That he needed help, like every person on this freaking planety did. “I will! I bought stuff today.” he offered, and MJ was not impressed.

“I can’t wait to read your article. You better send it to me!” With that he was off down the hallway, leaving MJ to watch him leave and lean against the doorway with a sigh. Her thoughts were now on him, and she could tell he was falling into a rut again. This happened occasionally when everything in his life seemed to pile on.

Stepping back in, she set the tea down and texted Ned.

Peter just brought me a gift and offered to help me with work. Lemme know if our little santa shows up at your place next.

There was a beat before Ned responded.

Oh shit, is he doing rounds again? He’s not Mr.Stark he can’t afford to give gifts every time he’s stressed.

MJ knew that was true and walked back over to her work station, chewing her lip. Stressed out Peter around midterms was bad. But he was also left alone now, which meant it was even easier for him to push everyone away with his bad habits. MJ knew she had to talk to him tomorrow, check in just to make sure he was actually okay. Even if just for her sanity. She’d really rather find out she was reading too much into the situation and be wrong, than realize she was right.

But that meant she had to finish her work tonight, so she could focus on him properly tomorrow. She didn’t moonlight as a vigilante, and she was a good student, so she was actually not too worried about her midterms, she had been studying properly. She just had to finish this article and she’d be good. Though some of that credit went to Gwen cause while it kinda sucked to keep yourself on track, it was easy to keep someone else focused so they worked together this term.

When she got the text from Ned a little later, that he had indeed shown up, MJ felt more fear creep into her heart. That meant he was doing his rounds. This wasn’t just thoughtful Peter, this was panicked Peter. She just hoped he would take care of himself and get through this weekend in one piece.

MJ had to employ every trick in her book to stay focused to get through the article and not let her day be wasted worrying about Peter. There wasn’t much she could do right now, other than set herself up to be in a good position to help him.

When she finally heard Gwen come home a little later she looked up and offered a smile.

Gwen turned, one earbud in as she sang along to the music in her ears. A song her boyfriend Miles had shown her recently she recognized. She paused when she saw MJ, and her brow furrowed. “What’s wrong with Peter?” Gwen asked, setting down her stuff and moving to sit across from MJ.

Scowling at being read so easily, she crossed her arms a bit defiantly. “What do you mean?” She asked, just to be a little difficult.

Gwen rolled her eyes, not impressed with MJ’s show of bravado. “You have your Peter scowl on.” She explained simply.

“I don’t have a Peter scowl.” MJ replied.

In return, Gwen gave MJ the flattest look she had ever seen on the girl. “You’re chewing your lip, your shoulders are hunched and you keep glancing at your phone. You wouldn’t look at the phone if it had to do with your work, and Peter would be over here too if it had to do with Ned. Seeing as I haven’t gotten any major news updates it means Peter’s not kicking butt right now either, which meant something is wrong with him.” Gwen reasoned annoyingly well.

MJ just sighed. “I hate you sometimes.”

Gwen shrugged, a cheerful smile on her face. “You’re not that complicated once someone gets to know you. But what’s up, is he okay?” Gwen asked, leaning forward.

MJ thought about being stubborn for a little longer, but realized she was just being moody because she was in fact worried about Peter. “I don’t know. He’s doing his rounds again.” MJ said, motioning to the tea boxes on the counter.

Gwen looked over before she sighed. “Ah, I see.”

It turned out Gwen and Peter got along pretty well, and she had joined the Friends of Spider-man club pretty quickly. In true Parker fashion, it had been an accident. He had climbed into her window one night after a fight with the vulture, half dead and bleeding. Gwen had heard the thump and MJ’s freaking out, and came to investigate. The blonde had thought she was killing Spider-man until she saw who it was with his mask off. Since then, MJ was actually grateful she had someone else to freak out with when stuck watching the news during a nasty fight, or someone she could openly complain to when it came to the more difficult aspects of dating a superhero.

Peter had apologized about potentially putting Gwen in danger by knowing and Gwen shut that shit down hard, scolding him almost as bad as MJ had about not getting to choose whether she stays involved with him for her. That was when Gwen had cemented herself as MJ’s number one female friend.

Gwen leaned back on the chair, twirling her hair as she thought through the situation. “I assume May is okay?”

MJ nodded. “He doesn’t hide stuff like that. If she was sick he would have told us straight up. I don’t think it’s Avengers related either. He’s gotten better about telling us when he can’t give us specifics.”

Gwen nodded, sighing. “Maybe it’s just midterms? We’re all kind of a mess right now.”

MJ sighed, running her hand through her hair with frustration. “Maybe. I don’t know. He hasn’t been sleeping and he’s lost a lot of weight. Again. The idiot is also trying to hide it.”

Rolling her eyes, Gwen stood up. “Like he’s good at hiding things.” She put her hands on her hips and looked at MJ. “Come on, you need a break. I’ll order some chinese food, you choose a movie. You’re not going to get any work done like this, and I’m putting off studying.” She replied cheerfully, making MJ laugh.

“Fine. Fine.” MJ reletened, saving her almost done article and closing her laptop. She needed a distraction and to process the new problem in her mind so she could get back on track.

By the time Gwen had finished ordering their usual MJ had chosen a movie and was curled up on one end of the couch, clutching the pillow close as she stared at the TV.

“Aww, you don’t even realize you’re doing it, do you?” Gwen said, sitting on the opposite end and nudging MJ’s thigh with her foot.

Returning fire with a confused look, MJ tilted her head slightly. “What?”

Pointing at the pillow MJ was clutching to her chest, Gwen waited.

Looking down, MJ saw that she was clutching the Spider-man throw pillow Gwen had gotten her as a joke gift for her birthday after she found out about Peter. Petulantly, she turned her head back towards the movie, but made no attempt to hug the pillow less. She did however scowl when Gwen’s laughter rang out.

When her phone let out the jingle set only to Spidey news, her heart sank. “He’s not stupid enough to go out this weekend, right? He has midterms and he looked like he was barely holding himself together. He’s not that fucking stupid, right?” MJ asked herself mostly as she dove for her phone. Sure enough news reports of Spidey fighting the Rhino were at the top of her notifications.

“I’m gonna kill him.” MJ said, glancing at Gwen who had already paused their movie and was turning on the news.

Gwen winced as she saw Rhino throw the car at him. “Looks like you might have to get in line.”

“GWEN!” MJ shrieked at her, still staring at the screen.

“Sorry, wrong time.” Gwen offered, her eyes glued to the shaky footage.

They both gasped as Peter was slammed against the wall by the car then the Rhino and from the helicopter footage there was a heart-stopping moment where it looked like he had been impaled. Before MJ could even begin to process that horrible reality Peter had kicked him off and continued the fight.

When Rhino was finally down MJ felt like she had lost another year to her life. “He’s so freaking stupid. I’m switching majors and becoming an architect so I can build him a special prison so he can stay there and be safe. I’ll build him a fucking jungle gym so he can still feel like Spider-man if he wants to. I’m never letting him go out into the fucking streets again.” MJ ranted as Gwen rubbed her back.

Then they saw the cops pointing guns at Spider-man and MJ was on her feet. “Are you serious? The fucking cops are going to shoot Spider-man because they can’t do their goddamn jobs? That they have to let a student clean up the messes they can’t with their defense fund of a budget in this freaking city?”

Gwen stayed silent. Her dad was a cop, and she knew most of the cops did like Spidey, but she also knew that orders were orders. She was also aware MJ was still in one of her spidey-panics and not actually looking for a calm rational debate about police funding.

Luckily they watched Peter vanish and they switched back to the movie, Gwen stealing glances occasionally as she saw MJ slowly come down from the rush. They finished their movie and food and both went back to work.

By the time MJ had finished her first draft of the article she felt like she had calmed down. She knew Peter would be back from patrol by now, and hopefully eating and taking a rest so she sent him a text.

Saw the alert. You okay?

She knew he was probably fine if he hadn’t come crawling in her window asking for help. Which was good news. But she also always wanted to just pull him into a hug and keep him safe after she saw him on the news which she didn’t get to do when he was back at his place.

I’m fine. Nothing broken this time. Promise. Was his response. She stared at it for a moment, as if the text on the screen would reveal more information if she intimidated it enough. She was pretty sure he was telling the truth this time at least. “Nothing broken, he says.” She relayed to Gwen, who let out a sigh of relief.

You better not be lying. Wanna read my article? Are you caught up on midterms?

She responded, already pulling open an email to send it to him. She knew his response before he even typed it.

Yeah, doing surprisingly well. I can use a break. Send it over.

Thanks, Tiger. She responded and stared at the body of the email, debating what to say.

Part of her wanted to scold him for going out when he had so much on his plate. Wanted to tell him he was being reckless. Another part wanted to praise him and leave him a sweet message. Hopefully give him something to smile about when he saw the message after the long fight, but that felt too cheesy.

She typed some stuff, staring at the blinking cursor.

Here’s the essay. Lemme know your thoughts. Make sure you drink water tonight, and go shower. I know you’re lazy about it after patrol.

She chewed her lip, hovering over the send button. Was she too pushy?

“Oh my god, just hit send.” Gwen said, not even looking up from her own laptop.

Reflexively MJ hit the send button before she even realized she was. “How did you know?”

“Because if you stared any harder at the laptop without typing anything it was going to catch on fire.” Gwen said, only glancing up to give her a smug smirk before looking back down.

MJ flipped her off, which Gwen cheerfully returned.

Managing to review a few chapters from the notes she had, she finally got the email back from Peter. Scanning through it, she couldn’t help the smirk on her features. Sometimes fighting crime in spandex and geeking out over the newest electronic thing Tony made made MJ forget how smart Peter was in other fields as well. His points were well reasoned, and his critiques honest but fair. She found herself agreeing with pretty much every point he made, and almost felt dumb she didn’t catch them herself.

“I take it he sent back useful notes?”

“Stop reading me, Gwen.”

“Then make it at least a little bit of a challenge.”

MJ just scowled but texted Peter.

Thanks Tiger, you’re the best. You actually made good points, I’m impressed. Need me to check over your essay?

She couldn’t help the smile as she doodled a little spider in the corner of her notebook, spinning a web in the shape of a heart.

It still needs some work before I can show it to anyone. I’m good, thanks though. Love you. Her phone buzzed.

This made MJ frown again. “Needs some work” was his slang for not done at all. He wasn’t shy about showing her unpolished writing. He was shy about showing unfinished writing. That meant he was behind. And he still went out fucking patrolling. MJ threw her pen down, leaning her head back and rubbing her face. Was he trying to stress her out or was that a natural gift that came with the spider bite. That meant she needed to make sure he actually got some help with his essay tomorrow so he could get some much needed sleep.

Love you too. Get some sleep, okay? I know the Rhino is annoying and I saw you get hit with that car. I can help you study tomorrow so get some sleep. She practically ordered him. She knew the chances were slim, but she hoped just once he’d be a good little spider and listen to her when she was making sense.

You still have studying to do too, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. So much for that. She couldn’t think of a response that wouldn’t end up with them arguing with each other over text so she just set her phone down. His inability to accept help was seriously a problem and she was going to have to confront him about it after midterms. She’d drag in the whole FoS group if she needed to, because this wasn’t healthy. She knew he knew better, and she really didn’t want to date someone who couldn’t take care of themselves. Especially when she knew he could, but wouldn’t. That was the most frustrating part of it.

Gwen must have read she was at her wits end because she closed both of their laptops. “That’s enough for tonight. You look like you’re about to kidnap Peter yourself and I stopped caring about my grades about an hour ago so we should sleep. Tomorrow we can figure out how to download the latest update of common sense into Peter, okay?”

MJ nodded, leaning back in her chair. “Yeah. You’re right. Thanks Gwen.” She got up and pulled her friend into a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Gwen returned it and shrugged. “Either kill Peter, or kidnap him and put him in a zoo for safety, probably.”

MJ laughed. “We have some unused space here. We could build a nice little enclosure for him.”

Gwen rolled her eyes. “Please, we both know whenever he’s over here he stays in your bedroom.”

MJ flushed red. “Shut up!”

Gwen just laughed and walked away, waving her hands as she disappeared into her room.

MJ made sure the apartment was locked up safely before she went to her bed, pulling the little Spider-man plushy she had gotten to see the reaction Peter would make when he saw it a little closer, and was out within minutes.

XxXxXxXxX

The next morning MJ found herself making the trek to his apartment. She had her backpack with her work in it, one of his favorite coffees and some bagels for breakfast. She thought it might be a little early, but also knew that he was probably already up because he was allergic to sleep even when he didn’t have nightmares. What she didn’t expect to see when she made her way up to his floor though was a couple of neighbors standing nervously in the hallway.

She approached a little faster. She quickly made her way to his door, knocking on it. “Peter?”

She tried knocking again when one of his neighbors approached. “You’re his girlfriend right. Is he okay? We heard shouting and a loud crash.” They said a bit nervously. MJ’s heart kicked into overdrive. Peter almost never shouted and crashing in a superhero’s house usually meant very bad things.

“PETER!” She called out, fishing out his spare key he had given her and unlocked the door, closing it behind her to keep out prying eyes just in case.

Setting down her bag, she looked around and felt her stomach sink lower and lower with each thing she saw. His place was a disaster, but it didn’t look like a fight had happened. It just looked like a mess. But even just a messy apartment, it was worse.

Then she saw the pan sticking out of the broken cabinet and she gasped. Peter never abused his super strength. He was also so careful with it, always terrified of hurting or breaking things.

She finally found him next to the counter on the ground, violently shaking and she could see the tears streaming down his face. “Peter?”

“MJ…” His voice sounded so broken she felt her throat tighten at the sound and it terrified her to her core. Even injured she had seen him with more life than this. She rushed over to his side, trying to find any injuries before she touched him but he seemed fine physically.

But this apartment… she saw the pile of trash, the dirty dishes, the laundry. This wasn’t a healthy space to live in, and was way worse than anything she had ever seen before. Peter was normally a bit of a mess, but all genius’ tended to be. This was different, this was scarier. They often said a person’s workspace is a reflection of who they are as a person, and she prayed that wasn’t true in this moment because she was terrified for Peter if it was.

“Are you okay?” She asked gently as she saw him, still shaking, still crying. MJ knew just how much he hated her seeing him like this, but he wasn’t even able to put up a front. Just what was going on?

“No…” His voice confessed and MJ pulled him into her chest, hugging him as tight as she could. She kissed the top of his hair, just holding him while he shook in her arms and she tried desperately to stay in control of herself.

How much did Peter have to be hurting to fall this far? What kind of hell was going on in his head that led him to this situation. A part of her wondered how she hadn’t noticed the signs earlier. What kind of girlfriend was she if she couldn’t even tell her boyfriend was falling apart at the seams?

She forced those thoughts deep down inside. Now was not the time to dwell on insecurities. Peter was falling apart right now and Goddamnit she was going to fix it. She was going to help him fix it himself. Peter needed help, and there was no force in the world that would stop her from getting him the help he needed. Whatever it was, whoever it neede to be, MJ vowed as she held her shaking boyfriend that she was going to make sure he got what he needed and what he fucking deserved.

But she needed a plan. This entire situation was almost overwhelming, but she had to get a grip on things right now. Help him get his feet underneath him, so they could start to rebuild.

“S-stove…” He choked out.

MJ nodded, kissing the top of his head one more time before she stood up and turned off the stove that was emanating heat. She felt his hand resting around her ankle, desperate for contact still and a lump formed in her throat. How the hell had he gotten so low without anyone noticing?

She crouched down next to him, seeing him shaking still. She recognized that too now. It wasn’t just sadness, he had gone into a full blown sensory overloaded, because of fucking course Peter wasn’t in enough hell right now.

“Peter…” She whispered as quiet as she could, knowing he would hear her just fine. “I’m going to turn off the lights then I’ll be right back.”

“I-I fi-” She cut him off with a brief kiss to the lips, staring directly into his eyes.

“I love you so much, Peter. But I swear to God you are not allowed to use that phrase for the next week or I’m putting on the Rhino outfit and kicking your ass myself.”

Thankfully her little threat got the tiny smile she was hoping for and she quickly made her way over to the light switch, flicking off all the lights in the apartment so only some light filtered in from the windows. She saw the pancake on the ground, and the plate on the edge and was able to piece together what had happened. She gently picked it up and set it on the plate before she sat down next to Peter again slowly wrapping an arm around him and letting him lean into her.

MJ could feel his fists balling up in her (his) sweater and he continued to sob into her shoulder. She whispered the quietest reassurances and just let him get it all out. She knew how cathartic a cry could be, and she wanted to just let him ride the wave and let out whatever had been building up for so long.

“It’s okay, Tiger. Let it all out. I got you. You don’t need to be strong right now. I got you.” She reaffirmed, kissing his head again.

MJ wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, and honestly she didn’t care. He needed her in that moment, and that was where she would be.

Eventually though it seemed like Peter was able to slowly piece himself back together enough for the sobbing to become occasional sniffles. He started to move back, but she held him in place for just a moment longer, not wanting him to rush into putting up any walls. They clearly needed to have a talk, and it was going to happen now.

Scooting over, she sat so she was in front of him, letting her legs spread on either side of his legs so they could sit opposite in the tiny area between the island and the counter.

He stared at her for a moment, and she saw him open his mouth once or twice to say something before he closed it.

She raised three fingers. “3 rules, okay?”

Peter seemed surprised, but a little grateful for her making the first move. He nodded after a moment, still quiet.

“Rule 1. No apologies. Not right now. I love you Peter, and I’m here to help. I know you feel bad, but you do not need to feel sorry for crying, or for needing my help. You can make it up to me later, deal?” She offered, watching his reaction very carefully. She knew Peter, and she was pretty sure what he needed right now was some structure and order. If she felt like her approach was wrong she’d stop immediately, but she slowly saw him nod.

“Okay.”

MJ beamed at him, squeezing his knee reassuringly. “Good. Rule 2. For the next week, you are not allowed to say the phrase ‘I’m fine.’ I don’t care if you are, in fact, fine. You can’t say that. Be more descriptive, and be honest. I won’t use that phrase either, deal?” She offered, waiting, watching.

He looked at her for a moment, before he nodded again, another small smile. “Okay.”

MJ grinned and reached over to hold his hand on the floor, entwining their fingers.

“Good. Rule 3. We’re talking. Right now. About everything we can. No running away, no getting mad, no assigning blame. Either of us. Nothing else matters right now. Not midterms. Not Spider-man. Not even the next season of the Great British Bake-off. Just us. Right here, right now. I’ll be honest with you, and you be honest with me. Deal?” She asked.

She could see the battle in his eyes. The desperate struggle between asking for the help he needs, and his desire to avoid being a burden to others.

She waited patiently, but continued to squeeze his hand and beg him to reach out.

“Please, Tiger. Let me in.” She said softly.

She saw another tear escape him as he nodded.

“Okay.”

Getting up awkwardly, she managed to lean over and share a quick kiss with him. She tried her best to convey how grateful she was, how much she loved him. Eventually she sat back and watched him carefully. “I’m proud of you. So much. I know how hard it can be, but you’re not alone.”

Peter nodded, resting his head back against the cabinet.

“How are your senses?” She asked, still in that same barely audible whisper.

“They’re better now. You noticed right away.” He offered with a small smile that brought just a little bit of light back into MJ’s life right now.

“I always was observant.” She offered, earning a bigger smile from him.

MJ gently knocked her knee against his. “So what is going on?”

She could see the battle that raged in his eyes. Years of desperate self denial warring with the knowledge he needed help.

“Peter, you know I love you right?” She offered and he nodded.

“I can’t stand to see you like this. I can’t date someone who won’t take care of themselves.” For the briefest moment she saw something she almost never saw on him. Pure, unadulterated fear. She’d seen him stare down villains with more tech than him and a single desire to kill him with less fear. Stamping out the flames of any doubt she had just caused with her point she rushed on.

“Peter, listen. I love you. And I am never letting you go. Not now, not ever. But you need… help.” She said carefully. She felt like she was walking a tightrope. There were a million ways this conversation could go, but she knew it had to happen. It was probably long overdue too.

“I can manage…” Peter tried weakly, and she could still see the warring desperation on his features. That was one look she never wanted to sketch.

She gestured around a bit. “Tiger, things look a little… rough.” She squeezed his hand, trying to pour as much reassurance as she could into him. “We all need help, Pete. If I called you crying because the stress of finals was too much, would you break up with me?” She asked patiently. A little smirk came to her lips as she saw the instant call to action as he almost looked offended at the suggestion.

“Of course not! I would nev-”

“See?” She asked, knowing this point had been made before but hoping it stuck a little better this time. “Tiger, you have more on your plate than anyone else I know. You save the city nightly, you’re taking advanced chemistry classes, you’re dating a high-strung girlfriend, and you’re living alone. We can’t do everything alone.”

He was quiet, letting the words sink in.

“I’m not alone…” He replied in a soft voice.

“Exactly. But you act like it.”

Peter’s eyes widened as he looked at her for a moment, and she could see thoughts forming and bursting in his head as the realization set in. She gave him the time he needed to process it. She wasn’t trying to catch him off guard, or trick him into accepting anything. She needed him to understand and accept the truth he was hiding from. The truth he thought he had to reject.

“How do you feel right now? Before I showed up.” She asked once she saw him relax a little.

“...tired. I’m so fucking tired, Em.” He confessed after a moment. MJ knew exactly what he meant. It was beyond physical.

“That’s fine, Peter. You deserve to be after all the work you do. It’s normal to feel tired. But it’s also normal to do something about it.” She said and MJ could see it happening. She could see him slowly accepting the truth, slowly reaching out for the help he needed.

MJ knew Peter’s struggles weren’t unfounded. They weren’t from a sense of laziness or pure stubbornness. Like her own struggles with emotions and letting people in, they were formed as a natural response to years of life battering the lesson into them. Losing his parents, then Ben. Having to hide his identity from the people who loved the most in order to keep them safe because there were people out there who would use them in a heartbeat to get to him.

Peter’s walls weren’t just him being stubborn. They were a desperate survival instinct to prevent him from losing anyone else. But that had to end. He had some many people in his life who loved him who would be more than happy to help him out just a little of the amount he helped them. He just had to let them.

“... I don’t know what to do.” His voice was a little louder, as if he was accepting the words finally. “MJ, I promise you I’ve been trying. There’s just so much. There’s just so fucking much right now. I swear I wasn’t trying to let you do-”

MJ silenced him with a kiss, knowing he was on another spiral. She leaned back after a moment, making eye contact with him. “Peter. I know you have. I’m so fucking proud. I know you have been trying. You’ve done so much Peter, I know that. You’ve managed more than what many people could with half of your responsibilities. You’ve always been my hero.” She said with as much conviction as she could possibly muster to get the message across.

Because she was so fucking proud of him. For both trying as hard as he did, even if it had been a little misguided. She knew how earnest he was in trying to do what he thought was right, and that was what mattered. But she was also filled with pride for him accepting that he needed to change too.

Peter lowered his legs and MJ sat on his lap, straddling him. “It’s okay to not know what to do either. I don’t either. Gwen is half the reason I haven’t dropped out of my classes, and you’re the other half. Peter, you’re the reason I’ve been able to make all these connections in my life. Because you had the answers I needed about opening up, and you helped me.” She admitted, kissing him again. “Peter, you’re the voice in my head when I’m filled with doubt. It’s your red and blue spandex butt that gives me the kick I need.”

Peter laughed, but his eyes were shining at her, like she had just told him the secret to the universe. God, she was so hopelessly in love with her dork.

She pressed on just a little more, knowing they were finally there. “You know what needs to happen next, right?” She asked, reaching up to cup his cheek and give him the permission she knew he was still desperately seeking.

“I…” He trailed off, chewing his lip. “I need to ask for help.”

MJ kissed him. Hard. God, she was so fucking proud of him. It was such a simple statement, and the farthest thing from a secret. But she knew how hard that statement could be. She knew how hard it was for her when she found herself in college still pushing away anyone who attempted to get close to her and clinging to Peter. Putting yourself out there was one of the scariest things a person could do.

When she pulled back, she gently wiped away some of his tears. “Correct.”

Peter laughed, his arms sliding to her waist. “I should be correct more often, then. If that’s how I get rewarded.”

MJ felt her heart soar that he was making jokes again. That he was slowly pulling himself back together.

She felt his fingers fidgeting on her side. “Do… you think they’ll still help me? I don’t know how much help I need but I’m worried it’s too much…”

MJ couldn’t control the laughter that escaped her as he stared at her, utterly bewildered.

“Peter…” She said, slowly regaining her composure. “You sweet summer child, you have no idea how many people are in your corner and ready to help you.” She said, reaching her arms up to his shoulders and rubbing her thumbs over his collar bones. “We’ve been waiting for you to ask us.”

Peter’s eyes brimmed with tears again as he nodded. She could see there was still some disbelief. She didn’t blame him, it wasn’t like you could completely change years of habits in one conversation. But she could see his determination there, to make a change. That was all that was ever needed.

“Peter, I’m pretty sure you could declare war on a country and you have enough people to overthrow it on your side.” She teased, only half joking though. She’d been around the Avengers enough with him to know they would literally walk through hell for him.

“I have had my eye on Canada…” He muttered and MJ laughed again, maybe a little harder than the joke deserved but the rush of endorphins of this conversation and breakthrough had her on an emotional high.

“So what now?” He asked, and she could see the yawn escaping him. She knew just how tiring emotions could be, let alone the fact he clearly had been putting his body through hell if that bruise that she had been doing her best to ignore was still that bad.

MJ’s mind was already off to the races though. Plans were forming, she knew who she needed to reach out to. The love of her life needed help, and finally, finally asked for it. She was going to make sure he fucking got it. She knew he had to be in control, he had to make the choices if he was going to learn, but she was going to give him every fucking option out there.

MJ saw him watching her patiently, a slightly goofy smile on his face as he must have known she was deep in a plan.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, MJ knew it was show time. “Okay, how much can you trust me this week?” She asked, a fierce determination in her tone.

Peter cocked his head to the side like the fucking golden retriever of a boyfriend he was. “Completely.” Jesus, how did he answer that so quickly and so honestly like that? He was way too good for this hellhole of a city.

Not even bothering to hold back the smile that she was pretty sure was most of her face now, she nodded. “Okay. You’re in complete control this week. You get the final say in everything, but I want you to just listen to me for now and I will do everything I can to help make things better anyway I can.”

She saw his eyes regarding him, flickers of an old doubt creeping in.

“You’re busy with midt-”

“Neither of us will fail our midterms either. I promise you this won’t be putting me out, deal? Let me help you, please. I promise you I want to be doing this, more than you know.” God, it was true too. She finally had a chance to give him just a little bit of the world he deserved, something MJ had been wanting to do for years.

Peter slowly nodded. “Okay, I trust you.”

She gave him a quick kiss before standing up, taking his hand and helping him up.

“Okay. First things first, this place needs… help.” She said gently, and Peter laughed.

“That’s an understatement. MJ, I appreciate you being gentle, but your snark won't scare me off. Promise.” He said, squeezing her hand. MJ couldn’t help but smile in return. Even when she was trying to be accommodating to him, he was still trying to reassure her that she didn’t need to change for him.

“Okay, this place is stressing me out just standing here. You need to survive midterms and you’re not going to do that here. So pack your duffle bag you use for trips with some clothes, and bring all your Spider-man stuff too. You’re staying with us this week.” She ordered.

Peter’s eyes widened but he slowly nodded. He moved to his room to start, but he emerged a second later, eyes downcast. “I… my clothes… laundry…” He muttered out, and MJ could see the shame rolling off of him. She walked over, nudging his shin with her foot until he looked up at her. “We have washing machines too, dork. Just bring some stuff, preferably whatever doesn’t have your blood on it.” She offered with a smile.

He slowly nodded and went back to packing. MJ was hardly going to fault him for not doing laundry. She understood how with everything piled up, it could just be another knife of shame in his gut, but it wasn’t like she had never had to steal Gwen’s clothes because she had nothing clean.

MJ glanced around the apartment while she waited and felt the lump come back in her throat. She wasn’t grossed out as much as sad. She knew that for it to get this bad, everything really must have piled on. He was usually pretty good about cleaning, from helping his aunt while growing up. The place was also barebones now. It hardly looked lived in as much as just where he crashed between activities. But she already had plans on how to help turn this into more of a home, and knew two women who would be more than eager to help him.

When Peter returned with the duffle bag she saw him glance around. She could tell he was hating himself again so she stepped up. “Now get all the stuff you need for school, okay?” She ordered, snapping him out of his monologue as he nodded and started to gather his laptop and textbooks. MJ walked around, making sure nothing had to be unplugged or was left on, knowing he wouldn’t be here for a while.

A couple of minutes later and he was done. He stood near the door with his two bags, looking at the pile of dishes with unbridled disgust. She stepped into his line of sight, smiling at him. “Everything Spidey is hidden?” He nodded. “Good, now come on. Don’t worry about this place, I already have plans for this, okay? You’re not the only college kid with a dirty apartment.”

Peter looked at her a bit wary of her plans but nodded with a smile. “Thanks MJ. I’m s-”

“Rule 1.” She interrupted, crossing her arms.

He rolled his eyes but nodded. “Thank you for helping me, MJ.”

“Better.” She offered, kissing him before turning him and shoving him out the door. “Let’s go, we still have work to do and my place smells better cause Gwen is obsessed with those air scent things.”

Peter laughed, and they were able to make small talk as they made the trip back to her place, as she sent a text to Gwen.

Peter is staying with us for the week. He finally asked for help. Time to rally the forces.

A block later she got a text.

Thank God. He can learn! I assume you have plans? We’ll have a war council later.

So many. Operation Fuck-Parker-Luck is a go.

I’ll leave the fucking to you.

Gwen! I hate you. So much.

Love you too, I’ll bring home his favorite pizza tonight.

MJ rolled her eyes, but glanced back at Peter who was looking at her confused.

“Gwen is getting Pizza tonight for us.”

“She doesn-”

“Peter, do you really wanna tell Gwen not to help right now? You’re gonna be locked in an apartment with us for a week, I think you’re better off staying on her good side.” She offered and saw Peter let out a defeated sigh. MJ just smiled and squeezed his hand. “Good boy. I really don’t wanna listen to her yelling at you again.”

“Me neither.” Peter said, but she still saw the smile on his face. She knew Gwen was probably the best person to counter his chaotic energy with her own. MJ was probably the most stubborn out of all of them, but Gwen definitely was the more fiery. She remembered one time after a stupid fight she had with Peter, where it had really boiled down to her taking out frustration with school on him, and Gwen had literally locked her out of the apartment until she went and apologized to him.

By the time they made it back to the apartment, Peter looked practically dead on his feet. When she had done her check of his place to turn stuff off she saw how little food he had. She knew his physical state had to be awful as well.

Ushering him into her room, she let him store his stuff while she moved back to their kitchen and made a quick sandwich. She knew he needed to sleep but wanted him to get a little more food in him first. She could worry about stuffing him full of food properly later. At least this week would give her plenty of time to try out the new recipes she had been collecting.

She knew the first problems she would tackle if she was going to get help for Peter, so while her zombie munched away on the sandwich with his eyes closed, she sent texts to Nat, Wanda, and Pepper. Just to give them a heads up that Peter had to talk to them later. She wasn’t going to make choices for him, but she knew the opportunities he had but was refusing to see so she just had to present them for him.

By the time she had shuffled Peter back to her bedroom and into comfier clothes she had gotten back affirming messages from all of them to meet later. For now though, she got Peter to lay down and cuddled next to him in the bed, pulling his head against her chest as she carded her fingers through his hair.

“My paper…” he mumbled out, barely conscious.

“Just sleep for now, Tiger. I got you. Everything will be fine.” She muttered, kissing the top of his head.

“I know.” He muttered, pulling himself a little closer and he was out cold.

MJ just continued to run her fingers through his hair, so proud of him. So ready to help him. So full of love for him. She knew she had a long week ahead of her, but with him in her arms she never felt more ready for it.

#spideychelle #michelle jones #peter parker #fanfiction #gwen stacy #MCU #marvel spiderman #spider-man

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keepyourpantsongohan · 4 years

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Ayesha Liveblogs Death Note

I’m watching this show specifically because of that text post that said, “Watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever” and he has killed two people in the first ten minutes

Though 2 be fair he’s killing people to save people so it’s a trolley problem kind of thing for now

“In fact I’ve been waiting for you... Ryuk” ok weird flex Light but u do u

“You’re the first one to use to this extent in five days” WAIT DID HE MURDER ALL THOSE PEOPLE IN FIVE DAYS I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST LOOKING AT A LIST OH MY GOD??

“So there isn’t a price to using Death Note?” said Light, as if killing people is just a normal thing that we all do

Fhkjfhfkjb Ryuk really went ‘u used the book so we’re friends now’

I was wondering why the book was in English, and I guess that makes sense British and American imperialism really Did That

“I can write down the names of criminals, and slowly reduce the number of evil people” uhhhh doesn’t u being a Book Murderer also make you a criminal Light

“Human lives shouldn’t be taken so lightly” bah dum tss

Also I guess that revelation lasted about thirty seconds for you huh

Update from 15 seconds later: Even less than that

“I would create a world of earnest, kind humans” really because I don’t think places that allow the death penalty are generally nicer societies

It’s interesting that they use English in the classes and the notebook but the conversation at Interpol takes place in Japanese (despite the implied internationality and Ryuk’s aforementioned claim about English being most common)

Huh I won’t lie I do think it’s confusing that the main characters are L and Light, which also starts with L

“I am justice” I mean if anything this show just proves that no one should be allowed to use the death penalty on apprehended suspects in criminal justice cases ever

OH SHIT PLOT TWIST HIS DAD’S A COP (IT WAS IN THE TEXT POST I THINK BUT I FORGOT)

Wow this show is full of mind games already I guess I can see why like, crime show fans would dig it

“But I’m going to say this as your roommate” OH MY GOD THEY WERE ROOMMATES KJHRGKJHKJHG

Interesting that someone is following Light specifically already

I mean not to poke too many holes in your plan Light but wouldn’t it clash with your plan to become God if you die at like 35 or smth

“You’re already much more of a shinigami than they are” Ryuk said my friends are BORING I want to hang out with this MURDER TEEN

“I may not look it, but I’m pretty popular” Light is exactly the kind of guy who ends up in a true crime special where a bunch of people say he seemed like a nice, charismatic young man

Man this poor girl that Light brought on this date is going to be straight traumatized after this

I mean isn’t it MORE suspicious if someone dies around someone with direct ties to the police even if it’s not a heart attack

“You were indeed a brilliant FBI agent once, but now you’re my fiancée” kjhfkjhg WHAT FBI AGENTS CAN’T BE MARRIED

“Once we have a family, you’ll be so busy that you’ll forget that you were an agent” I’m not a fan of Raye Penber

What’s the point in killing Raye at all???? He told you he was part of a special investigation so clearly he’s not that suspicious of you

Light sure is bold to announce his Killing People Experiments in the middle of a busy sidewalk

Incredible that consistently no one notices Light’s increasingly threatening declarations????

Fjkfkfhk these five cops finding out their Hail Mary is this strange little goblin man,,,, wow

This woman has really pushed Light to the brink just by giving a fake name, I admire her tenacity

Cops wearing fake IDs really did not age well oh boy

SERIOUSLY HOW DOES NO ONE EVER HEAR LIGHT SAYING SUSPICIOUS THINGS IN PUBLIC THOROUGHFARES HE LITERALLY JUST SAID “I AM KIRA” AS A DETECTIVE WALKED BY, WHILE HE WAS TALKING TO SOMEONE HE KILLED IMMEDIATELY AFTER

Wow it really took only eight episodes for L to track Light as close as one of two families

“You have a wife and daughter, right?” “I know!” I mean..... not 2 be that guy but... cops

“To me, apples are like... Well, like cigarettes and liquor to humans” Vcvhcjhj every once in a while Ryuk says something that really tickles me

I know the word sociopath is kind of outdated but man does Light have actual interests outside of school or does he just do stuff to fill the void of his lack of interests (outside of murder)

JKHGKJHGKJHKJHG I cannot believe that this has turned into a fake classmate situation first of all 1) are you going to become friends and 2) How old are you Ryuzaki/L?

“Where is that rich kid from? And he’s even at the top of his class? What a jerk” honestly a mood

I DESPERATELY want Light’s mother or sister to overhear his evil cackling will someone finally eavesdrop on this god complex

“If I sit normally, my reasoning skills drop by 40%” weird flex but same

Sidenote: I can’t believe how many episodes of this show I already have watched

Ngl I was VERY shook that Mr. Yagami had a heart attack. Also does Light care if his family lives or dies or is he kind of neutral on the subject?

“If Kira is an ordinary person who gained this power, then he is a very unlucky person” Dad and L said ‘if u ARE Kira could you please stop murdering thank you <3′

Light really underestimated how much cops hate anyone who has killed a cop oops

OH SO IT’S NOT LIGHT I WAS WONDERING WHY HE HAD NOT MADE AN APPEARANCE THIS WHOLE EPISODE U MEAN THERE ARE TWO GUYS WITH THIS EXACT SAME IDEOLOGY AND PLAN? INCREDIBLE

Update from ten seconds later: Two people, I guess

Well this explains the girl in the short dress which serves as the Netflix thumbnail of this show I was wondering when she would show up

Also she sounds like she’s very young? Clearly Shinigami don’t have a minimum age of informed consent when it comes to their Murder Eyes Contract

Hahah I bet Light didn’t imagine that his petty and fucked up apple joke would bite him so quickly in the ass

Dhkjdhdkjhd Misa is so bold dropping her Death God deets in a video for anyone to see

“The way to kill a Shinigami, is to make them fall in love with a human” does this mean that Ryuk is going to fall in love with Light or Misa? Both would make me uncomfortable

Oh wild guess Misa became a Death Note Wielder through the Power of Unreciprocated Voyeuristic Love

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend now,” said Light, after a girl contacted him through a series of anonymous video tapes implicitly vowing to be his disciple

“No one could tell who he’s attached to if I’m with this many people” [20 seconds pass] “Found him!” HAHAHA the funniest part of this show is consistently watch Light going “got ‘em” before it immediately is revealed that he doesn’t got ‘em

Why is Light so incredibly searchable??? I think the only way people people could find my height online is if I happened to answer it for one of those Facebook note memes in 2007 lmaoooo

“There are many places that will go and sell your personal records” ah, data breaches; a problem that has not gotten any better in the last 15 years since this anime came out

HKJHFHKJFHF Light immediately jumping into fake-dating his weird disciple in front of his mom... what is this show

“Please make me your girlfriend” OH MY GOOOOOD

This is one of the weirdest romantic dynamics I’ve seen in recent memory but you know what? Whatever, at least it’s not Anxiety and Murder

“Does that mean I’ll have to deal with her until she dies?” Light is truly exuding some Ladybird Book of Dating Energy rn:

The fact that to kill L all Light had to do was get an obsessive girlfriend... astounding

Beautiful that it took Misa less than a week of knowing Light to ruin his whole 15 episode game plan and also life

“I think I may be Kira” Well this show keeps taking one escalation after another this is exhausting why can’t Light just be a normal person who found it, tried it out of interest in the occult, discovered he’d committed a horrible atrocity and then went to therapy for the rest of his life only to confess to Magical Murder on his deathbed while his family goes, ‘Wow, Grandpa’s crazy’

Does L not think that keeping three different people imprisoned for days on end will lead to some psychological repercussions for him

FOR WEEKS ON END????? OH MY GOD???? The fuck L, I know two of these people are murderers but there are some minimum conditions of correctional facilities and this seems a little Stanford PE

THE DRAMA OF THIS EPISODE I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE A BLANK BUT HOW FUCKED UP TO PUT EVERYONE THROUGH THIS L I THINK YOU NEED THERAPY!!!!!!! I MEAN LIGHT AND MISA ARE MURDERERS BUT FORCING A MAN TO HOLD HIS SON AT GUNPOINT AFTER IMPRISONING THEM FOR OVER A MONTH IS REALLY A REFLECTION OF A COMPLETE LACK OF EMPATHY (especially when you think that this version of Misa and Light don’t know anything!!! Oh my god!! The fuck)

“I will make arrangements so you and I are together 24 hours a day” call me crazy but I would not want to spend 24/7 with the man who imprisoned me for over a month while playing cruel psychological games all the while

“I’m one of those people who’ll accept Kira, I’d think of ways I could help him” Misa said Bimbo Rights

“I could never toy with a woman’s emotions like that” Light’s dating life and personality has gotten a LOT funnier since he forgot he was a murderer I kind of wish THIS could be the whole show

Also: Nice to know Light USED to have standards of how to treat women

Honestly fair play to both L and Light they both deserved to be punched and it’s funny to see eighteen episodes of mind games culminate in punching and kicking each other in the face

“Matsuda’s being an idiot again” “Well, Matsuda is a natural at that” wghkjhgkj what has Matsuda done to any of you

"He’s punishing criminals as a front, and killing people for the benefit of this company” is Light unknowingly going to solve the murder chain he himself started... inspiring

“I was testing you” this is why Light is your only friend, L, Aizawa has kids and it’s a dick move to ask him to put his convictions before them

Poor Matsuda realizing he’s got the least to offer to their team... me in high school science labs

I understand Aizawa’s moral crisis but why do NONE of these cops care about their wives or daughters they’re just kind of like, ‘I will provide for you but I have no interest in or fulfillment from being part of your life’ (ACAB)

Matsuda is truly about to die for being dumb and eager to help 😔 Rest in Pieces

“We must not allow Yotsuba to figure out that we are investigating them,” said L, just after it cut from Matsuda being obvious about investigating them. Oh Matsuda 😔 you’re so bad at your job 😔

MATSUDAAAAAAAA oh thank goodness; Bimbo Rights save the day

“I can’t go along with your idea, it’s wrong!” said Light, despite the fact it took him 15 seconds to get over murder the first couple of times he did it

Staaaaaaaaay Good Light, I don’t want ur Deathnotesona I want this young man with moral convictions!!

The level of hubris it takes to answer a phone call during your secret Murder Meeting while people continue to talk about their Murder Plans is just out of this world

“If I die, you could probably become the successor to the ‘L‘ name,” said L, to the person he has been trying to catch for twenty episodes

“I won’t say anything under any kind of torture” “Yes that’s true” Which he knows because he tortured her for six weeks!! You see that that’s fucked up, L, right? RIGHT??? RIIIIIIIIGHT? (LIIIIIIIGHT???)

Seriously not to beat a dead Shinigami but Light is so much better like this. He doesn’t want to throw people’s lives away for the investigation! He wants to protect Misa! He thinks Kira is wrong! Why does he have to be a murderer!!! Why can’t this show be about a nice young man!!!!

“Hey Ryuzaki, that’s messed up!” THANK YOU LIGHT AGAIN I KNOW YOU BOTH HAVE KILLED PEOPLE BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT RIGHT NOW SO FOR ALL MISA KNOWS HE’S JUST A GUY WHO TORTURES HER AND TELLS HER CRUSH WILL DIE IF SHE DOESN’T HELP

Wow Rem is so ride or die for Misa protecting Misa from creepy Higuchi, giving her info and telling her to trust Light, that’s love bitch

Props to Misa for getting a confession out of Higuchi after one (1) car ride

Why do I feel like L is going to be responsible for reawakening Bad Light is it because he psychologically tortured him for six weeks? Had his dad hold him at gunpoint? Forced Misa to investigate on his behalf? Constantly and unerringly presses him on what Kira would be thinking as he’s handcuffed to him 24 hours a day? Maybe!! This is like Build-a-Bear but he’s customizing his Teen Murder Friend

“Only Mr. Matsuda can do [the mission to lure out Higuchi!Kira]” Death Note really said the Himbos, Herbos and Thembos shall inherit the Earth

They keep saying they don’t know how he kills but it seems pretty obvious that he writes down their names to kill, they literally saw him do it

I really don’t want any of the investigation team to die but things are not looking hot :(

“Ryuzaki, I never knew you could fly a helicopter” “It’s just intuition” what does that MEAN

“Those aren’t allowed in Japan,” said Light, about a gun, as if he had not killed probably thousands of people without one

In spite of this fact I really do want Good Light to stay 😔 Why! Can’t! This! Show! Be! About! A! Nice! Young! Man!

Also they really are playing into this father-and-son duo I will be very sad when the dad inevitably dies as I’m sure he will

Family side note: I’ve been wondering this since the prison ep but where do Light’s mom and sister think he IS now that he’s dropped out of first year uni to be a teen criminal investigator handcuffed to a maladjusted homebody private eye

AIZAWAAA and also the other two guys I guess there was a plot relevant reason for him to rejoin the police huh

Well what a clean ending to this Kira arc. No one died and the killer was caught! Yikes that the next ep is called ‘Revival’ tho 😔 Rest in pieces Good Light

Also a new and very threatening intro???? What happened to the Twilight Apple Hands

BOOOO I knew Light would get his memory back but I was hoping it would at least fuck him up for a while he sorted out his two personas but I guess all roads eventually lead to Bad Light

Full disclosure I stopped watching for a few days just after Light got his memory back and let me tell u coming back later hasn’t made it any more tolerable I am truly not built for this EUGH

“Do you really want to halve your life a second time” “Well, that can’t be helped” REALLY???? CAN’T IT BE HELPED MISA??? WHY ARE YOU AND LIGHT SO CRAZY

Oh I guess we’re back to Light saying incredibly suspicious things right near the investigators lmao what if those cameras secretly had audio or you know, L simply knew how to read lips

“Misa, let’s make a new world together” Remember a bunch of episodes ago when Good Light was all ‘I could never toy with a woman’s emotions’?? What was the reason!!!

“Have you ever told the truth at any point in your entire life” L cutting straight to the core lmao (also the answer is obviously ‘no’)

This show has taken a jarring tonal shift why are they having a post-rain-confrontation massage and towelling each other off this is a level of intimacy I was not prepared for I NEED PEOPLE TOOK LOOK AT THIS:

OKAY OKAY OKAY I KNOW THAT IT WAS PROBABLY NOT THEIR INTENTION BUT THE ONLY WAY I CAN READ THIS SCENE IS AS “Don’t kill me Light~ 🥰 I’ll fuck you~ 🥰”

I guess L knew he was forcing Rem’s hand to kill him if he disproved the rules written in the book?? But to what end omg how does this help anyone

“In April 2012, Light Yagami, age 23, joins the National Police Agency” should’ve known we’d land here eventually (ACAB)

Ah, I see another person who doesn’t know how to sit, clearly they will inherit the L title next lmao

Update from the first few mins of the next ep: “Near should succeed L” told you

“There’s no way I’m letting Sayu marry a detective” ahjfkhkjf he’s a little old for her I think but it wouldn’t be the worst thing this show has done romantically lmao; maybe Sayu would get to investigate her brother

“I might’ve considered going out with you, if you were a little younger” HA GOOD FOR HER

“[...] the Japanese police are unreliable. In order to solve this case, we want you to hand over the notebook to our country.” Of all the Japanese-speaking Americans in this show, this is the most accurate jkhfkhf the US government really is Like That

Ah, so that’s where Mello’s gone, oh how the turn tables

Also way to sell your subordinates out immediately, NPA Director, will you give them the Kira task force’s home addresses too

The real question is if Light actually cares about his sister enough to prioritize her over the notebook

“Call me... N” Oh my good L... M(ello)... N(ear)... Oooooooooooooooo

It’s my saving grace that I only need to get through 9 more eps but as always I must wonder where this is going will Light just die and end up in Shinigami purgatory while the people who knew him after the fact go, ‘hey, that guy was fucked up’

“If things get bad, I’ll have to kill Sayu” well I guess that answers that question, my expectations of Light are so low and yet he continues to find new ways to be awful

Good for Mr. Yagami and Sayu for getting out of that alive I guess but hoo boy I think this is going to have some psychological repercussions for both of them

Uh oh this episode is called ‘Father’ I’ve been dreading this one bc I think that means Mr. Yagami is about to die 😭😭😭

“It was an institution for brilliant children, to raise them to become L‘s successor” okay calm down Professor Xatari that’s not what children are for lmao

Well I guess it’s a lot easier to track down info about these two guys than it was to figure out L lmao

HAHAHA Sidoh haunting Ryuk to ask for his stuff is a fun addition to this madness

“He’s scary for a human” jkhhfjh how unhinged does Mello have to be to threaten a literal Shinigami

I truly don’t understand the logistics of how they revealed Ryuk to the police force isn’t the second Kira notebook supposed to belong to Actual Kira, in the police force’s eyes????? I do not understand how Light can just turn up with another notebook and everyone’s like ‘sure cool’ did I miss something

Mr. Yagami killed for being unable to take human life ugh this is the worst

“You’re not Kira. I’m really glad.” WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SAD MR. YAGAMI NOOOOOOOOOO THAT’S WHY HE RENOUNCED OWNERSHIP OF THE NOTEBOOK

Neither Mello nor Near seem overly concerned with the lives of people around them does being a Super Genius Investigator also mean you have to be a dick (is this Benadryl Coddleswab Sherlock syndrome)

Lmaooo genuinely love how it’s constantly apparent that Light is the least smart of all of the smart people Light spent five years working on his reputation and it took Near one (1) phone call to destroy it

Ghjkhgkhgkgjh Light outsmarted by Near yet again never think people will prioritize principles over money

Lol yeah Aizawa needn’t have given a name after he said the “Deputy Director Yagami would kill Kira and then himself” thing, you don’t do that just for anyone who was he fooling

How does Light keep track of all the renunciations and notebooks bc I certainly can’t

Ffhkfjhfj Mikami truly looks like the son of L and Light it’s like Light missed him and was like, “Miss u boo :( (even tho I kinda killed u) I’ll adopt An Evil 27-year-old in ur honour :)”

Is Mikami’s story really, ‘I got bullied in high school and have mommy issues so now I think people I don’t like should die’ ok Shonen Snape

“I just want you to meet with me and hear me out” Light really proving to Aizawa that he can lie AND manipulate people’s feelings

“The truth is, she’s not smart enough to be my partner” first of all Light I think this show has proven you’re not that smart, and Misa’s Herbo Energy is effervescent and will outlast you, and third of all go to jail

“He’ll look suspicious if he doesn’t say something soon” “Ide, have you ever been in love” Matsuda continues to be the only good part of this show

“You’re the only man I’ve ever respected and admired in my life” GET SOME THERAPY KIYOMI

“You’re going to be the goddess of the new world” so it’s not enough for Light to be a murderer he must also be a cheater

Lmao Near’s powers of perception do seem a little B/BC S/herlock because L tried for literally months to work out the possibilities and Near is just like ‘I KNOW IT NOW’

“The only thing I can deduce from this is that Light Yagami is popular with the ladies” HEAVEN KNOWS WHY (PUN NOT INTENDED)

Every moment Aizawa gets closer to proving Light is Kira is another step closer to death 😔

“This is definitely Mikami’s handwriting” Not to be a know-it-all, Near, but handwriting analysis has been proven faulty many times in multiple courts of law

This truly is a game of Cat and Cat. All these hidden plans give me a headache fkjhkfjh call me Misa-Misa and spin me sideways I don’t have the braincells to spare

Well this is definitely some kind of s*xual assault absolutely fucking hate it wow this show truly just drains the life out of you

“Matt, I never thought you would be killed” why wouldn’t you think that at this point anyone who comes close to this investigation eventually dies (also wjkhkjhgk why is Matt special didn’t you kill all those thugs you had before -- Mello said ‘the lives of my allies are only important if they are drawn in handsome protag style’)

As of yet I haven’t really talked about Near’s wild toymaking but hoo boy is that L finger puppet something to observe

“Everyone who knows about the existence of the notebook will die�� I’m still pulling for their survival, particularly Matsuda (himbo rights!!!)

Imagine if they just shot Light Yagami on sight how ironic would that conclusion to all these mind games be

“I’m waiting, for the one who will solve everything, to arrive” Lmao if it turns out L is alive I’ll pee laughing this show is so fucking stupid

Take a shot every time there is a Humpty-Dumpty-in-Puss-in-Boots style explanation about how everything actually happened

“I’ve won, Near” I bet/hope what gets Light caught is his inability to hold in his hubris for one (1) minute

Although the last episode is called New World, in which case maybe he wins in a very weird ending to a very weird show

Sjkfhkjhfkhfkjhf well I guess what gets Light caught is that the person he invited to be his murderous disciple keeps calling him God

“A second ago, you said ‘I win.’ That’s as good a confession as any” HA hubris strikes again also bold of Aizawa to clap Light on the shoulder knowing he is a mass murderer

Ohhh Matsuda he’s so nice and believed the best of Light :((((((((((((

Watching Light become increasingly desperate and crazed is very uncomfortable give it up dude u’ve been beat (though I suppose there is time for everyone here to be murdered still lmao)

LMAO LIGHT SAID “IF YOU CAN’T BEAT ‘EM, CONVERT ‘EM”

Yeah I figured if one of them was gonna shoot it would be Matsuda :( :( Good for him for not killing Light tho!!

Huh I guess that’s the end of the show I thought Light would die but I did think we’d at least get to see him in Shinigami Purgatory or smth... what a wild ride. This certainly was a show.

#ayesha talks anime #ayesha liveblogs dn #liveblogging #long post #sorry for any dn fans who stumble across this lmao i don't have the constitution for it

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swaglexander-the-great · 4 years

Note

If you feel like it : develop on your hatred of the new Beauty and the Beast movie? I've heard a lot of salt about the way the music score was handled 👀

O MAN DO NOT DO THIS

Every time I think about this film, rage fills me like a super saiyan powering up and i scream

How do i even start

i think i will do bullet points

these will not be in any coherent order, I take no criticisms on this or my extreme bias

also i have not watched this movie for like years so my rage may outweigh my accuracy BUT

The opening?? With Cate blanchett narrating?? Who do u think u are?? Lord of the Rings? Peter Jackson in an epic trilogy changing the world forever?? You’re Disney eating your own meal and shitting it out again don’t fucking even try it

They didn’t even change anything and the animated intro was much shorter and better

The enchantress enters like Malificent, acts like a trickster god japing bitches, but try to paint her as Good uwu Princess.

Gaston, roughly the size of an ox if the ox was a slightly buff man who would bounce off Terry Crew’s majestic chest like a ping pong ball

You don’t have to be a crusty cynical adult to narrow ur eyes at that twunk picking up a solid 170kg of two people and think CGI

Yes, a queer-coded snivelling sidekick who adores a horrible man is exactly the gay representation we all wanted may I lick ur boots Disney and also suck ur dick but only if we say no homo

Gaston’s sidekick (don’t ask me to spell french) bribing the bar people to like Gaston or something??? The whole point?? Is that Gaston DOES check off the list for Desirable Bachelor in those times!! Can hunt? Yes. Lorge? Yes. Well off? Yup! An asshole? Of course, but does that matter in these times? No! Your privilege is to wash his socks! But Belle is a Different and Special Girl who DOESN’T find Gaston attractive for all the things the village thots do! Gaston is the outer ‘perfection’ that society praises while he’s still a cunt, the Beast is seeing the goodness within no matter what society says! The whole movie is fucking inverted by that one goddamn scene!! I hate this film!!!

this also makes it fuckin weird that they then discriminate against Maurice and side with gaston in the end? The villagers just do whatever the fuck the writer wants them to do and in this it’s so painfully obvious, the CEO of disney may as well be standing there with flags directing their movements in the background, I hate this fucking film

Instead of making cool inventions belles dad just makes like, a weird dolls house if I remember correctly

THEY DUBBED THE WOLVES IWTH TIGER NOISES! W H Y

The Be My Guest was so lacklustre. It was like a clown singing kareoke in an empty warehouse while frisbees fly around. You wasted Ewan McGregor on this. Disney has no imagination anymore

To add to that, the ending ballroom scene dance thing?? Lacklustre. Disappoint. Bad dress.

The best character in this film is the horse, who not only remembers the impossible way to the Beast castle, but runs at max speed between the two locations (a half-day journey), regularly with ease, carries the Beast, who IS roughly the size of an ox, and fights off fucking wolves who also seem to totally ignore his presence

Disney robbed me of the one scene I did desperately want, which was Belle deadlifting the Beast on to the main character, the horse

THE PLAGUE

ok the fucking plague ok. You do not mess with the goddamn plague. And this wasn’t cowpox either, this was the full 1500’s shithole Paris Black Death burn-you-alive fucking PLAGUE. Belle’s mom had the Plague, and both her and her dad somehow did not contract this while living with her through her entire sickness, they go to a different town (ISOLATE U HEATHENS) and then?? The Beast and Belle GO BACK to a plague house and run their hands all over shit! Do you know how long the plague takes to die off?? Even TODAY when we dig up a plague pit, everyone has to get immunized, I know this from EXPERIENCE. Congratulations, you and the Beast either have plague or have introduced it to your lovely village. Do not fuck lightly with the plague.

The magic fucking teleportation book.

Why

what the shit

WHY

They use this shit to instantly Star Trek beam themselves into a plague house

I assume the Beast wasn’t using this to heist random women to see if they would fall in love with him because, like, why would you not do this when you can just politely return them with your stupid magical teleport book

People attack the castle? Use the magical teleport book dumbass

The Beast’s unnecessary, long, boring song from the top of some fucking tower, idk, I skipped it, I got bored

The Beast design. What’s the point if he doesn’t look like feral garbage please. Also his voice pissed me off but I can’t remember why

I dont like him even personality wise

give him to Guillemo del toro you cowards

This was set in Actual History for some fucking stupid reason, and for another unfathomable reason, it was set directly before the French Revolution, so I guess it’s not a happy ending at all. Who wants to be transformed into a guillotine ?

Why is it so fucking dark half the time

The teapot is creepy

Why in the shit did we get the Prince’s fuckin weird tragic backstory? We don’t care. Man get turned beast is what we come for. And why? Why do we need a tragic backstory to excuse his actions? Can he not just be an asshole? Rich, stupid asshole? Who then maybe has to learn a lesson? Instead of oh tortured soul rich boy is so misunderstood! No. Die.

Disney’s absolute desperate need to have characters be ONLY GOOD or BAD BAD makes me want to knee the face of the collective corporation so hard that they are sent into the Hell Dimension

Where did the hot priest at the start go? Why do I think of him sometimes

They want this to be painfully French, but somehow ends up and an even more agonizing blend between painfully British and ass-kissingly american.

Why does the castle just fall apart like that. What is holding it together? Spirit gum? Why? Stone that looks like it has been soldered together with a welding iron doesn’t just give out, or The Earth would have caved in millenia ago

Ian McKellan uses his Gandalf voice and in this film it’s honestly a crime and also jarring to hell

The prince is not hot at all

The stupid dubbed growl at the end which I try so hard to repress makes me want to throw myself into a swimming pool full of mace

The only 1 good thing about this film was the dude who got dressed up by the dresser and was so fucking happy about it.

People complain about the soundtrack, but I for one refused to listen to the songs that bored me within the first 20 seconds, and the ones I listened to were like average remakes of the OGs so that wasn’t really the worst sin

This film so visibly sucked its own dick that this is probably why it was banned in china

Thinking about this film makes me want to commit Violence so I think it’s about time I stopped

I will not be taking constructive criticism or counterpoints to anything about my thoughts on this ever.

Goodbye and thank you for your curiosity

#beauty and the beast #beauty and the beast 2017 #disney #emma watson #disney remakes #I want to beat this film to death #asks #my asks #awesome people #writing #film reviews

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homosexualslug · 4 years

Text

Sam Questions, made by @gaysuperhell and tagged by @blahdose(gaysuperhell this is the best tumblr questionnaire I have ever seen thank u for ur service) - Sibling status (younger, middle, older, only child)*

*TECHNICALLY oldest but was raised separately so I have only child energy - How long have you been stanning Sam for: Honestly since I started watching 2007/S3ish, I always vibed with Sam more than Dean. Nowadays I'm a SPN Ladies stan first and equal parts Cas and Sam stan second, Dean is just the most fun to psychoanalyze - Favorite SPN Season, but if the only criteria was Sam’s hair: SEASON EIGHT! It's so lush and beautiful and POWERFUL! Sometimes I just stare at it instead of paying attention to whatever's happening! - Favorite Sam-centric episode: Mystery Spot is still a fave because of him, boy really went through the spectrum of human emotion in those 50 minutes. Runner-ups: After School Special, The Man Who Knew Too Much, and Just My Imagination (I have a soft spot for young Sam lore) -Favorite Sam era: Season 4! He is no longer baby, he want power! But only because he thinks he's saving the world! Also, can't call it a whole arc but the taste we got of Samwitch throughout S13-S15 makes yearn for more. -Favorite song you would/have put in a Sam playlist: Don't have a Sam playlist but do have a very Sam-esque OC so tie between "Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea" by Missio, "Dark Speed" by Failure, and "Undefeated" by Incubus with honorable mention to Marina's "Bubblegum Bitch"

-Any ships you may like to mention: Saileen since Day 1, SamRuby (yeah yeah I know but look), Samwena (enjoy them as platonic mentor/mentee too), Sastiel (also enjoy as chaotic besties but damn if they wouldn't have been healthier for each other), Sam and Max Banes had potential - If you could steal one thing from Sam’s wardrobe, it would be: Purple dog shirt or the Hoodie™️ from 15x06 - You must have some intense headcanons you need to talk about, tell me one Sam hc that drives you insane: Stealing from HBO SPN - that Sam's a health nut because fruits/veggies don't have salt and won't make his throat burn because demon blood! - Complete the sentence: If Sam cishet, then WHY....: queer allegory about being kicked out by his dad and having something wrong with him? HMMM - Favorite unhinged Sam moment: Outside of all of Season 4 I'd also say 1) exorcising a half-dozen demons at once in My Bloody Valentine 2) third act of Mystery Spot and 3) literally shooting GOD - Tell me something about the HBO Sam that lives in your brain: Salt allergy, reflex whispering "christo" to see if hurts, angel healing makes him sick, etc. - Biggest injustice Supernatural commited against Sam (be as brief or as ranty as you desire): Boy oh boy 1) Ignoring most of his post-S7 trauma (Gadreel, BMOL torture, Lucifer, losing the hunters, etc) because the writers relied on him bouncing back faster than Dean 2) Never letting him know THE Voicemail was fake! 3) Blurry Wife because the misogyny of it all is so 2005 4) Being blamed for the apocalypse, being soulless, stopping hunting, etc. 5) The fact that Lucifer came back so many times and he didn't get to kill him ONCE as a treat

Also this is more @ the fandom, but how much Sam get ignored when talking about parenting Jack! Sam, who nurtured him and showed him kindness from Day 1! Who taught him how to use his abilities! Who didn't become what Lucifer wanted him to be and only wanted the same for Jack! - Oh no, the writers forgot to give Jess a personality! Now it’s up to you. Tell me, what was Jess like: True crime fan, super competitive at board games, got into law to help the little man, bisexual

- And finally, just say something about him that makes you smile ♥ : That he believes no one is truly beyond saving! That you can always choose to be a better person! That you decide who you are, no one else! Also, the fact that I got my first Bisexual Haircut as an excuse to cosplay him (thank u sam for being part of my queer journey)

Tagging @leydhawk @justsayingit @fangurl and any other Sam fans who follow me!

#sam winchester #spn #supernatural #sam winchester questions #sam questions #spn questions #spn question game #spn tagging game #tagging game #I know I've been talking a lot about destiel here and on my sideblog but #deep down I am a sam girl through and through #a bit dean critical so I apologize #you know I love that dummy too #tag game #long post

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bigfan-fanfic · 5 years

Note

Hi xx love u and do u think u could do Bruce in the a-z thing 💋 xxx thnx

Love you too, anon!

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Bruce freakin’ loves it if you end up working with Alfred during patrol. Also he likes it if you take a job at Wayne Enterprises because then the two of you get to be together all day and it means that you actually enjoy this part of him. Free time, when not spent with the boys, is generally used in physical pleasures or romantic dinners. But really, any time he gets with you he cherishes, even if he doesn’t say it.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Bruce admires your ability to commit, because let’s face it, you must have an iron will to stay with him this long. He thinks your kindness and determination are beautiful, and the fact that you remain with him day after day is astonishing.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Bruce helps with firm hugs and quiet reassurance. He’s not so great with expressing himself or dealing with his own self-loathing, but he’s sure as hell not going to let you feel bad about the best person in the world - you.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Bruce has no delusions about actually being able to eradicate crime in Gotham, so he dreams that one day he’ll retire, leaving Gotham in the hands of his children, and be able to dedicate his time to you. It’s an improvement from the times he thought his future was eventually dying on the job.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Bruce tends to take a dominant role in the relationship, being the control freak he is, if not necessarily in the bedroom. He’s in charge of where you two go out on dates (since he’s in charge of safety) and he likes to take care of you.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Bruce doesn’t like to admit he’s wrong, but he’ll definitely be quickly forgiving when you say you were wrong.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s mostly grateful, although in moments of frustration he might lash out. He, with Alfred’s help, tries to remember how much you have sacrificed for him.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Bruce often hides certain details from you in order to “protect” you, unless you take an interest in his vigilante life, in which case he is very honest with you and grows to depend on you. Either way, he ends up growing more honest over time.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Bruce’s relationship with you gives him what amounts to a crash course in emotional intelligence. He slowly learns how to process and deal with things like grief, guilt, frustration, and anger while allowing himself to be happy. Basically, the longer he’s with you, the more he gets over the emotional stunting his parents’ death caused him.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Bruce responds to most emotions by becoming surlier than usual. Unfortunately, his “jealousy” surly is very similar to his “hungry” surly, so you might accidentally get a jealous Bruce a burger and be met with annoyance (however, giving a hungry Bruce some kisses and attention seems to go over much better).

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Bruce is a fantastic kisser. He leaves you dazed and dreamy after claiming your lips in an almost innocent way, then cupping your head and tilting you to deepen it, and not coming up for air until necessary, wanting to remain forever in that kiss.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

He’ll come right out and tell you that he loves you. Or, alternatively, he’ll show you the Batcave, which is like a love confession because he’s showing you his true self and placing an extraordinary amount of trust in you.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Hell yeah. Bruce cares for you a lot, and beyond wanting to spend his life with you, he wants to make sure that you are cared for should he die and immediately modifies his will. He’ll propose in private, in a sweet and intimate moment, and then probably he will do a proposal in a public space for the press. The marriage will be tough at times, but definitely rewarding.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Bruce uses the sappiest, corniest, schmaltziest nicknames he can come up with. “Sugar,” “Pumpkin,” “Honeybear,” “Snugglebug.” Sometimes he accidentally says it while still in Batman voice, and everyone around him just freezes. It happened once to Gordon and he doesn’t believe he actually heard it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Not obvious at all. He hides it well. Except for Alfred. And if your relationship dates back to before his parents died, Thomas and Martha totally knew one day their son would fall head over heels for you.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Super possessive. He holds you close and kisses you often in public and totally proclaims that he is the luckiest guy in Gotham to be with you.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

None. Bruce has to work hard to be romantic and maintain the relationship. This poor guy needs your help, okay?

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He’s actually pretty romantic when he puts his mind to it. He really does want to make you happy. And for someone so calculating and analytical, he is pretty creative in romance.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Bruce does believe in you, but sometimes he focuses more on patrol and the League. But he makes an effort to be supportive and present. You learned that Bruce has programmed the Batcomputer to remind him of important events for you, and even made an alarm to alert him to see how you are every couple of hours so he doesn’t neglect you.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Bruce likes to spice things up sometimes, whether it’s a fancy dinner or a spontaneous trip to Hawaii (that has been meticulously planned and organized).

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Bruce has trouble at first knowing what you need unless you tell him. He isn’t naturally an overly empathetic person and often has trouble communicating. It’ll be up to you most of the time to bridge the gap.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

It’s very important to him to be with you. He’ll sacrifice time at Wayne Enterprises or social engagements to stay around you.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He once tried to cook for you and very nearly burned down the Manor. So he consigns himself to bringing you breakfast in bed made by Alfred or picked up from somewhere.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Bruce tends to kiss in public and cuddle in private.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Bruce gets more surly than usual, which is saying something.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Bruce has trouble putting the relationship first. He’s definitely one who will put his self-imposed duty before you. But anything else, he wants to please you. He’ll do whatever he can to make you feel wanted and comfortable, short of stopping patrol.

#fluff alphabet #my writng #batman headcanons #batman x male reader #alphabet

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sherlockfanficwriting · 5 years

Text

Sherlock BBC Lestrade “She’s Innocent”

Summary - You always help Sherlock and John with their cases and your boyfriend, Lestrade. It’s a good life, when suddenly you’re framed for a top crime by a top criminal and have the shock of your life seeing who arrests you.

Warnings - some violence/fluff

A/N - here is another request! I hope u guys like it as you know Lestrade is my fav but i luv all of them sm and enjoy writing everything u guys request. I have a ton of requests and I am not ignoring u guys i am going one at a time so incase ur wondering why i’m taking so long hehe i want them as good as possible. Send me more! Wanna be on my taglist? PM me :) @fanfictionsilove @bakerstreethound @redheaded-hobbit @theartisticscientistsworld

“Died. No more than two hours ago. Killer is a close family member,” you said. Sherlock crouched down near the body on the floor and John lifted books and cups from the table, inspecting them. You had been helping Sherlock with cases for awhile now, maybe a year? You loved it and offered a new perspective. You were smart. Real intelligent. You didn’t think like Sherlock, you thinked differently, but your intelligence was on a close caliber.

“Eh I don’t really care anymore. He was awful,” Sherlock said, quickly hopping up.

“Sherlock!” John exclaimed. You laughed with Sherlock.

“I agree with him. A pretty bad person.” You continued snickering with Sherlock.

John huffed. “As you can tell, I’m not as smart as the two of you! This is no fun,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, causing the two of you to laugh even more.

Ding

You pulled out your phone and saw a text from your boyfriend, Greg.

Greg

Can’t wait to see you soon.

You quickly got up from the floor. “I have.....”

“Date, yes. Go,” Sherlock said, waving you off. You completely forgot about your dinner with Greg. Out of all the dinners you had you were never late or never forgot. How did you forget? You ran outside and stepped near the curb.

“Taxi!” You raised your hand in the air and waved it around until one came speeding to you. As you hopped in you spat your address out and the taxi zoomed off. You looked at your clothes. Dark pants. White long sleeve blouse. Black heels. Something that was ideal for a date, but you decided you need to change it. The taxi slowed down in front of your flat and you threw the money at the driver as you sprinted out, unlocking the front door. You skipped up the steps to your room and to the closet, pulling out beige, nude, dark clothes and throwing them on your bed.

What do I wear?

You honestly didn’t have the slightest clue, but you settled on a pair of black palazzo pants, yet another white blouse but this time it was a button-up and satin. You put on a medium length dark coat and paired it with red heels. It looked nice. You stepped in front of your mirror. You liked what you saw except for your hair. You took it out of the messy bun and let it loose. Just messy enough. You looked at your makeup and quickly grabbed a red gloss and just barely dabbed it on your lips. You ran your mascara once and decided it looked good. You never needed makeup, so many other people complimented you on your natural beauty. You definitely saw it, but couldn’t help but put a touch on. Finally, you swung a perfume bottle from your dresser and sprayed some on your neck and rest of body. Before you ran out the door, you checked yourself again.

Perfect

You ran down the steps and quickly began your walk. You didn’t need a taxi. You had enough time to walk to the restaurant and arrive there about five minutes late (which was early). You wouldn’t like to be there before Greg, he wouldn’t like it - it wouldn’t be.....masculine.....as he always made sure he was. You smiled just thinking about him. You have known him for almost a year, but it seemed like it was an eternity. You woke up thinking about him and slept thinking about him....sometimes he was right next to you. He shared the same interests and had a very similar personality to you. Your combined humor could conquer the world. You enjoyed working where you saw him often and you were excited about all the trips and vacations you would soon take. He was charming, always giving you small gifts, but you made sure to gift him just as much with chocolates, flowers, cologne, coats, and whatever more. You were a sucker for those things and loved to see the smile on his face and the immediate big hug he would give you. Oh, the hugs - those were the best. You continued walking on, thinking about him.

Ding

You took out your phone.

Unknown Number

Mary’s Jewelry Store. Small Surprise.

You stopped in your tracks and walked on the side of the sidewalk, careful not to bump into people. Who could this be? Greg? No. Well, maybe? Perhaps? You didn’t know. Mary’s Jewelry Store? That was an expensive store. Not just a regular jewelry store, it was top of the line. If someone like you was seen there, you might just pass out from shock. Why did you receive this text on this day while walking to dinner? Had to be related to Greg, if not him. You closed your eyes, trying to remember where the store was when it hit you. Less than a block from here on this side. You quickened your steps, trying not to hit anyone. In a few minutes as soon as you reached the store, you couldn’t help but glare inside. The shining diamonds caught your eyes. The necklaces. The rings. The gorgeous carats. You opened the door to a beautiful store.

Not many people were in there. In fact, you didn’t see anyone. There weren’t any lights on, which you thought was odd, but the natural daylight illuminated the room enough. You walked over to the counters, examining the necklaces, rings, and bracelets. They were profoundly beautiful. You noticed that on the displays something was missing.

A necklace?

You looked at the tags in the glass table and gasped. Whatever wasn’t there cost fifteen thousand. You thought it was weird. You turned around to look at the other displays when suddenly a loud blaring alarm pounded through your ears across the whole store. You pressed your hands against your ears to block the noise and looked around the room. The red alarms on the ceiling and throughout the whole walls. You looked at the door and started to walk to it when you suddenly saw flashing red police cars pull up to the front curb in a hurry. You stopped dead in your tracks and your heart sank to your feet. You were a deer in headlights. Five police officers carrying guns sprinted to the door to find you, helpless and innocent, standing there.

You saw the intial look on their face of confusion, but it was soon washed over with a serious look of anger. The alarms stopped and one of the men said, “Back up!” in a loud and demeaning voice. You did so slowly and nervously. Clearly they couldn’t think that you did anything wrong. I mean...look at yourself.

“Her?” You heard one of the men ask to another one. The man shrugged his shoulders.

“What are you doing in here?” The head man asked you. You were so scared and became even more terrified when you saw his large gun strapped to his waistline. You didn’t look like a criminal. You looked like a young girl all dressed up going on a nice date - which you were.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here?” One asked you. The head man motioned him to shut up.

“I-I,” you stuttered.

“Let’s save your energy. You stole those,” he said, pointing to the missing necklace and another display across, “and you committed homicide. You know what that means? Murder.”

You stared blankly at him, unsure of what to say. Did they think that you really did this?

“I didn’t. Where’s your proof?”

“Proof?” He scoffed. “Trust me, we don’t need it.”

“But-.”

“Enough! Get over there,” he said, pushing your back forcefully to the two other men. They kept their hands on your shoulders as if you were going to try to escape. Your whole body was shaking and you felt your insides turning inside out. How were you going to explain this to Greg? To Sherlock? John?

The head man picked up his phone and held it to his ear.

“We have her....yeah it’s a her...we’re here.” He hung up the phone and looked at you. You looked up with sad eyes. You were about to cry from anger and sadness. You didn’t even know what was really going on. You tried to stay still and just wait. Suddenly your heart sank even further down.

Oh no

You saw Greg get out of a police car that came speeding to the curb. He looked rushed from the impromptu situation, but his detective look was on. Your whole body shook in fear. What would he think?

They must have called him to investigate it and take me to the station.

Why wouldn’t they? How could you forget what his job was when you knew him for this long? You looked out the glass door and tried to maintain your composure, not crying. He forcefully opened the door and immediately his eyes went to you. His face dropped. His posture dropped. His energy dropped. He was a mixture of confusion and anger, but was calmed when he saw you, his whole life, standing between two officers and shaking. He saw how scared you looked.

“Her?” Greg asked the head man. He was angry but contained.

“We have evidence, Detective,” the man replied.

Greg scanned the room quickly, trying to think fast. “I-You-you know what? Show me at the station. I’d like to see it. Just let her come with me.”

The head man looked puzzled and didn’t budge. “We can’t let you do that. You know what? Fine. Just how you like it.” You saw the faces of the men. They were all puzzled. You knew he didn’t act like this to other people. Other criminals, but they didn’t know about you two. Greg sighed loudly and walked towards you. He looked at you in the eyes. They told you everything about what he was feeling. He placed a hand on your left shoulder, squeezing it. An intimate but not obvious action. You knew he didn’t want to do this but he had to. He didn’t say anything and lightly turned your body over. You moved your arms to your back and he cuffed you. Never in a million years would you imagine this happening. He made sure to make the cuffs loose for you and again squeezed the side of your hand ever so softly.

He led you out to the door and opened the car door, sitting next to you. You couldn’t look at him. You didn’t know what to say. You were scared. One of the men got in the driver’s seat and sped the car away. You didn’t know if your heart was beating fast or completely stopped.

“I’m going to find out what happened,” Greg said. He placed a hand on your knee. You met his eyes. They were full of love for you and strong emotion.

“I just walked inside. I didn’t do anything. W-what do they think I did?” Your voice was weak, just on the brink of breaking down.

Greg sighed and placed his hand on your shoulder. “Something bad. Don’t worry. I’m going to get you out of this.”

You didn’t look at him. You focused your gaze on the cars passing by. You felt Greg’s grip on your shoulder getting stronger. You knew he didn’t like this. Not at all.

“Why are they accusing me. Someone set me up. Who did it?” You asked him.

“Someone bad. An active criminal. Don’t worry, please.”

You didn’t look at him. You were too shaken up. So many things raced through your head. You wanted to know who did this and how? Who?

Moriarty

The car slowed down to a halt. You were parked in front of the powerful building. You were certain he did this. Who else? You knew Sherlock and were close to him. Of course, he would target you. Manipulating people - abusing his power. If he did this, it was going to be hard to free yourself.

“You’re fine. I’m right here. Just don’t worry.” Greg opened the door, helping you get out. You couldn’t talk. You just offered a small smile to him. You knew he was crushed. He walked with you and the other officer inside the building. Thankfully, they didn’t manhandle you and treat you like a dangerous criminal. Would they?

You didn’t know where you were walking. It all looked the same. All the gray walls. Light floors. An occasional person in a suit walk across the hall. You didn’t even feel safe with Greg walking so close to you.

“In here.” The officer said, motioning to an open door. Greg walked next to you, but the officer said, “Not you.”

Greg scoffed. “Not me? Yes, I can. I’m coming inside.” He tried to come in, but the officer held out his hand, blocking him. Greg furiously pushed his arm back.

“Detective! I will have you escorted!”

Greg backed up but kept his eyes on you. Suddenly two men in suits started pushing you toward another direction.

“Stop! What are you-.” Greg’s voice was shrouded from a loud door closing. You walked with the two men and saw in the corner of the room a long table with a few papers crowded around. Your heart sank again. If these men were manipulated by Moriarty then you had no chance. You had to be smart, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Greg.

You had to fight and play the game.

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gayneral · 6 years

Note

All those flowers, my dude

First of all thank you for asking, this will be longAlso as this took me almsot two weeks already I took the liberty of leaving some queastions out so I wouldn’t take even longerSince this was answered over a longer time span some questions that are aimed at certain days may be slightly outdated (ed what are u wearing today and such)

Alisons: Sexuality?I’m gay my dudes

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?He/Him, male

Amaryllis: Birthday?My Birthday is in June

Anemone: Favorite flower?This is gonna sound lame as fuck but I rly like roses, red ones in particular

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?I can’t choose but here are some favorites:

Peaky Blinders, I’ve watched this one so often,,, Cillian Murphy was what got me into it and I stayed for beautiful scenes and atmosphere and the gang drama

Gotham, Let’s be honest, the best thing abt dc are their villains (also suuuuper into Robin Lord Taylor as Oswald)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Office, i like these because they are easy, nice and satisfy my need to have something running in the background while I’m at home. (Also insanely sweet in the case of BB9)

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?One I still remember strongly is from two boys kissing “you should all live to meet your future selves”

Also many of the poems by keaton st james deeply resonate with me so check those out (most are religious-ish just in case that’s a no no for you)

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?I gotta be boring and say water

I like hot chocolate and a special kind of peach tea and some soda I drank in brazil but water,, yeah I drink that most,, love hydration

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?Nope

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?I am, right now, at this very moment

Baneberries: Favorite song?I can’t give you an all time favorite so here’s a random favorite I currently like listening to: Sedated by Hozier

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.My family is not very big and actually hasn’t been a family for a very long time. Namely it’s my dad, my sister, my grandparents, my dads wife, her son, our dog and I. I have never experienced family in my youth so sometimes when I’m with them it’s all very odd. And sometimes it’s stressful. But it’s the first time I actually miss family when I’m alone at home, far away. I speak about my father and my grandparents further below but my sister is very sweet and I’m pretty protective of her, she and I get along a lot better now than before which is a common trait as ull see later.

We often take care of things, and are probably the most planning of the family. My dad’s wife is very good to talk to, having a very different perspective from my own and will always offer up advice. Her son is currently in pirperty and more interested in playing fortnite than anything which makes for some explosiveness at home. Our dog is cute and perfect that’s it.

Begonia: Favorite color?I like blue tones, but a dark, rusy kind of red is cool too

Bellflower: Favorite animal?Dogs Dogs Dogs. By far my favorite animal, they fill my heart with joy. Next up, Giraffes, funny big boys

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?Morning I think, I definitely work best early.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?I actually never really had a dream job as a child. Not that I remember at least.

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?While I generally ain’t a big fan, like I’m someone very based on conversations so obviously that’s hard w kids. I am growing more to them. I’m far from wanting one but I think children are special in their.. Like innocence. They are beyond all the bitterness and hatred that we adults have. If only parents would be better lmao

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?I’m afraid of many things. Change for example. And failure. I think that might be because being perfect was important when I grew up and whatever I did it was never enough to my mother especially. Perhaps that has become so deep rooted that I tell myself I can not fail, which makes me very nervous and makes me worry too much.

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.I spend lots of time on building sites and in hardware stores because my grandparents have houses and my parents often would work there too.

Buttercup: Relationship Status?Single

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?God I don’t know, I think it’s probably when I’m with someone I care about and it’s easy and light and fun and I feel comfortable and they tell me that they like being around me, or that I made them happy with something.

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?Nope,wanted to have some but money and shit

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? I have my ears pierced, but it’s the earlobes so the most basic thing

California Poppy: Height? I insist on 1,70 at least, I will not accept being under that.

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?In a way, yeah

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?My new boots, black pants, winter coat, black jacket, a blue button up and a lord of the rings shirt underneath. Obviously underwear

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?When I was a child for sure

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?A person from school, who’s also in fashion design, but a few years above me that I got to know bc of cosplay.

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?My Ex

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?God idk, I like oldish looking ones, elegant ‘n stuff

Columbine: Are you tired?Nah, actually not rn

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?Sam visiting me in March

Coneflower: Dream job?I’m not sure, definitely something w sewing but idk if I wanna go theater or my own things

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?Introvert

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?Yeh

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?Very very far

I’d say I’m pretty damn loyal and also give myself up easily even without noticing. If someone has my love and my loyalty they have my everything basically. Would I commit a terrible crime? I don’t know. Would I be real mean to someone or punch them? Yeah, if it’s reasonable w the situation I would (would it be affective? Not sure)

Give myself up? If we’re thinking real dramatic..maybe yeah

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?Gemini

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?Funny or stupid things? MaybeOtherwise honourable stuff, i don’t think so, i don’t view my actions like that.

I mean I survived, that’s pretty cool

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?Above mentioned survival. Which includes making it out of my mother and her boyfriends abusive grip and household. Moving away. Being true to myself. Dragging myself out of the hole I had fallen in for a while. Getting close w my dad and family. Believing more in myself and stopping things that are not good for me. Getting an apprenticeship that I like. Moving forward in life

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?If it’d be my dad I’d sit down with him and ask him why exactly. I have had a relationship before in which I did not see how badly I was treated/ that I basically searched someone like my mother. So I’d listen, perhaps to prevent from making the same mistake again. If it turns out it’s nothing reasonable I think I’d tell him that I will pursue the relationship anyway and ask him to respect that and be as nice as possible to my partner.

If it’d be my mother.. No surprise she doesn’t even like me and honestly I wouldn’t give a shit.

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?Did I say it? Not sure but written it in a letter, it was Sam

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?If my grades speak for themselves it’d be my apprenticeship, or like idk working hard about something I enjoy. I take this very seriously and give it everything I can. I’ve been told I’m good at talking, not sure if that’s true

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?I’m envious. It’s not that far that I am not happy for people, I think i generally have it under control but sometimes it gets the best of me and fills my stomach with nasty emotions.

Also saying stop. I do a lot for people, and I’ve been prone to letting people use and step on me for too long xnot standing up for myself

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?The past month was actually absolutely terrible so not much to find here.Uhm..the bad thing that happened got our family closerI spend Christmas and new years w my familyI got amazing gifts and letters from my friends

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?Stressful. I worked on my semester project and I feel like hardly anything worked

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?I’m moving towards a happy place. But I’m definitely doing a lot better already

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?Finish my apprenticeship, surgery, be able to make my own money so I don’t have to rely on my dad so much (he does enough for me already) and so I can get more distance between my mother and I

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?In no particular order

1. Dogs, god whenever I see a dog I’m happy because they are so cute and loyal,,,,,,,

2. probably everyone and their dog says this but my friends, honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without them. They helped me through terrible times in my life, are a constant source of love and joy to me.

3. my family. Since I didn’t have that for a long time I cherish it even more now that I do. It’s amazing to have a family that supports you behind you. I’m super grateful for everything they’ve done for me

4. the possibility to do the apprenticeship that I want to. it’s not always easy,,,I lack the money lmao but I’m so grateful that I can do this, because it makes me feel like I’m actually worth something in the working,adult world. I’m good at this

5. music. I listen to it so often, I can’t imagine not having music

6. sunshine, there’s something wonderful about going outside and feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, when it’s spring and winter has just gone by and you just have to smile because everything is bright and you’re surrounded by light

7. myself. Listen I dislike myself as much as the next guy but I’m working on appreciating myself and I am insanely proud of myself for coming as far as I have come. I don’t let myself feel it very often but having myself, it’s a good thing. I know my younger self would be very happy knowing that I did all those things for us.

8. something that makes me happy is creating, might it be art, or sewing or writing, anything really. It’s a pain in the ass and frustrating at times but I love looking at something knowing I did this, finishing it. And then looking back at it later and seeing how far I’ve come again

9. playing video games. It’s just fun to lose yourself in a story sometimes.

10. Christmas Markets. I don’t like Christmas itself. But I love the Markets, it’s the atmosphere of it. The food smells amazing and there are all those lights and there are kids with actual shining eyes because they see Christmas so magical and they are in awe by all the lights and honestly I feel the same awe sometimes when I’m on those Markets

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? Hardly anything lmao. Listening to music. Distracting myself with either talking to someone or playing/watching something. Tho that often makes me feel guilty on the long run. What helps if stress is overwhelming me is writing down what it is that is stressing, like making a list and trying to untangle the mess, looking at what I have to do one by one

Hellebore: How do you show affection?Since I’m A big fan of honesty I usually just say it. I like to tell people when I get some emotion. Like just telling them that I appreciate them. I think it’s nice to just be told that sometimes. Besides that I do things, like I’ll send anon messages or offer help just assisting somehow. Like not always outright having them know it’s me,like affection from afar. And well I’m helpful when I care abt someone especially, like “I can do this for you”

And being super openIt’s not alway clever as experience has shown but to me offering up things about myself means trust means affection in a way. Like giving a part of myself to someone. lmao

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?Making it to this point, I wasn’t in a very good state just a bit ago. But with the help of my friends and family I made it out of it. I have an apprenticeship I enjoy, I have my own flat, I have something to stand up for again. I can appreciate myself some more. I was able to see toxic relationships i was in and get away from them and not let myself be guilted but seeing them for what they are and acknowledging that while I am not a saint it doesn’t mean that I have to accept any treatment. I stood up to my mother, even if just a bit that was a huge step for me.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?I barely had any of it recently so I can very much put what I want to do. Which would be drawing. I haven’t done that properly in so long and I miss it. Like both sketching stuff on paper but mostly full pictures, sketching, lining and colouring somethin. Having a full art piece at the end. Also Play Games. And talk to my friends. Haven’t had a nice hour long convo with Nina or Charlotte or Sam in ages and I hate that.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?That’d be Charlotte and Nina

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?I would hide away in my room and imagine. Invent stories, characters, anything to distract me from how unhappy I was. I would act them out in my head when I laid in bed so I could sleep.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?I did not treat someone that I care about very well a few years ago, I didn’t give them the honesty they deserve. I was an asshole. Even if we spoke about it, I still feel very bad about it.

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?Indulging. When I have things to do but take a break I always feel super guilty for not doing anything.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?It seems it comes from the Roman name Julianus, and was the name of a pangan Roman Emperor as well as a name of saints. Sometimes meaning youthful which fits because I look like a baby

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.I grew up in a big city in Germany. Very busy City with high buildings and no time. I lived in a flat when I was very young, a room with big windows where I’d sit and look out ot. Then we moved into the house my dad still lives in. Where houses were built in rows and more people knew each other, I’d walk home and pretend to not see them as to not have to speak to them.

Then I moved in a beautiful flat in a more busy part of the city, with a bookstore in the same building and a supermarket right down the street. My hometown is best described in the colour grey. I dont think it very pretty if I’m honest.Still its full of memories and not half as bad

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?Talking about the one in the house. Light peach coloured walls. Small but with big windows to look out of. An old wooden bed in front of one Window, and even older Closet next to the door, already so old that it had been ancient when my dad had been young. A desk in one corner at the other side of the room, above it shelves filled with books, little trinkets on the windowsills. Cabinets filled with paper full of secrets. Posters on the Walls and a round mirror that I hated looking into when I was young.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? God no. I have repressed most of my younger years. My teenage years were filled with confusion and self doubt. I was a mess, I hated myself, not knowing who I was. And then knowing but being shamed for it, hiding away and keeping my head low to survive. Pushing myself to the limits and clinging to the thought that I could escape at age 18

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.My Mother and I are not on good terms. I’ve spend countless of years desperately attempting to please her, hoping for love or anything close to it. I was constantly let down by her. My mother is someone that I fear I’ll never understand, adapting to the men that she is with. Claiming to have reached compassion and selflessness while being the opposite. Acts childish and has never accepted or supported me. Now attempts to lure in my sister whom I fear for as she’s always wanted my mother to love her. I have estranged from her very much and currently I am happy seeing her as less as possible.

Onions: Tell about your dad. I remember my father as a very autocratic person in my youth. He’d always work and would only be home to cast judgement. We did not get along well, and my mother, like grima wormtongue, had influenced me further into seeing him as a terrible person. Now I see him very differently. In fact I am similar to my father. Hard working, well spoken and crafty. We share a similar humor and I am very thankful for his support over the last year. To me my father is a very good example of how sometimes people can actually change, sometimes second chances will not disappoint you. My father cares very much about our family and I am happy to have gotten close to him again.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.I won’t lose many words about my mother’s parents as there isn’t much to say about them.My mothers father was always sick, more often because he believed he was. The years before he died it had only gotten worse. My Grandmother was never really happy in that relationship, something I believe she handed down to my mother.

My fathers parentsWell, when I was young it was difficult, they aren’t exactly children people, despite trying. I especially had my difficulties with my grandmother, who was work above everything and wanted everything to be perfect.I remember her always fixing my clothing. Countless of instances of her and my dad arguing.

When I got older we had barely any contract until I had my coming out to my dad, who told my grandparents. Much to my surprise and I still respect that so much, they were immediately supportive and accepting, perhaps even more than anyone else from my family.

In the last year we grew closer. They helped me with my flat and would come over to set up a few things. I took them to a restaurant that my grandfather would always talk about whenever we talked, happily.

My grandmother and I had phone calls at least once a week, she was also the most interested in my apprenticeship, always curious, sending me old magazines and ideas she had. As well as button ups and shirts she had bought for me or old ones from my grandfather.She offered me support when we talked, told me they’d do anything they could

When my sister and I were getting clothing for my grandpa, as he was saying with us, I found a book on my grandmother’s bedside table.It was an educational oneIn it was also an article she had cut out of a newspaper, the title saying how the support of the family is the most important thing to lgbt children.

I miss my grandmother

Peony: What was your first job?I worked a summer at my mothers workplace. Cleaning watches and watch straps, replacing small things on the straps

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?We met 2014 on a cosplay convention in the city I grew up in. We met on the first day of that, where we all hung out in a group and then he and Charlotte spend the next day w us as well.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?I bottle it up, focus on something that keeps me busy. Sometimes other people’s pain or doing things for them. Distraction from thoughts really. I’m best when I’m busy

Pink: Where is home?If you’d asked me a couple of months ago my answer would’ve been easy and quick. But now phew, I mean I call my place home as in “I’m going home” and I call my dads place home as in “I was home over the holidays”

But I’m not sure, not really

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?I could go endlessly both about important historical events and tragedies as well as personal mishaps and bad choices. But eventually I actually think this is too big of a question to answer like this. I’m generally better in speech than word when it comes to things like that

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.Steady. As in a job that I like, that provides me with enough money to survive well. Not to worry about everything. Having Dogs, as that I something I always wanted. Living somewhere in the city (always dreamed of a Fachwerk House but yeah…), with the possibility to visit my friends that I am in good contact in. Living with love and happiness. With a connection to my family still as good as now. Perhaps with someone,,,

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?I love the sound of paper, like books, pages turning, things like that. Also soft rain

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?I’m a Class A represser. So it’d probably be many things centered abt my mother.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? I want my semester presentation to go well tomorrow. That’s all I care abt rn

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? It used to be harder in the past but I’ve gotten slightly better at it. I’m still struggling with feeling but it’s a work in progress.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?My Friends and Family, cheesy I know but over the last year I’ve become more set in that. Once more I noticed how much strength those can give you. And also noticed how important they are to me by the way things that happen hurt me

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?7 hours, couldn’t fall asleep at first but that’s usually my minimum of sleep

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?School. I have a timed, strict schedule thanks to that and it forces me to get up until a certain time in the morning. That helps a lot actually

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?I’m still in an apprenticeship but I enjoy it a lot

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?I have a new pair of shoes that are so beautiful I wish I had the look and body and style to wear them day to day. Also got some cool button ups

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.Look at this and you’ll see first hand https://www.pinterest.de/Gayneral/

I’m sorry I’m bad at desctibing my aesthetic. It’s like, historical stuff, museums, snowey Fachwerk, religious themed things, bee themed things, watches…

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?My semester project is due to two and a half weeks and I’m super nervous about finishing it like boooooy

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?Sadly I’ve been super busy recently so I’ve only been able to read a tiny bit in my holidays, Acht Nacht by Sebastian Fitzek

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?Still in school, doing good, and enjoying it

Still having a good relationship w my father, my sister and that whole family

Still good with my friends, hopefully seeing them more often

(maybe in a relationship pls don’t @ me)

Generally happy, not having to worry too much

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?Thanks to tumblr I do, and I hate it

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.I take my school very seriously. And I have zero tolerance for those in our school that don’t.

#you wanted to know #ninjago #answered ask #ask game #ask meme #pers: negative #redbluemaiden #long post

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bartsugsy · 7 years

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then why would you want aaron to be with him? or do you not like aaron either?

Aksjsjsks oh u know me anon, a true aaron hater 😂😂😂

im dying

WELCOME TO MY TEDX TALK TBQH HERE WE GO

i think, i mean first of all, aaron obviously loves and wants to be with robert, but can’t be at the moment because there’s a baby and also tbh because robert needs to get his god damn shit together

aaron… clearly doesn’t care that much about the immorality behind the shit robert pulls. aaron’s morals are sort of just as fucked up - in mean, they met THROUGH CRIME. they’re both sort of awful. rob is a lot more shameless about it but aaron robbed home farm and kidnapped lachlan all by himself, for instance 😂 he’s a true dingle, that one. since they got back together, aaron’s concerns have usually been, in canon, more along the lines of: pls don’t let robert put himself in jail and also does robert love me enough

on the first point, see: ssw and “i could lose you”, the police questioning rob about withdrawing the money to pay ryan, the argument over breaking lucky out of jail.

on the second: everything about the rebecca saga - i think aaron actually understood that rob was using her for her connection to the whites and the chance to get some more money (see: the talk in the back room after finding out about the kiss) but that didn’t stop him from feeling uncomfortable about it and so the question was always this awful mix of - does he love me enough to stay faithful and does he love me more than he loves money and scheming?

and that’s been the sticking point. canon has shown robert actively dropping scheming with rebecca/making money for aaron (aaron’s birthday) and also obviously there was that whole BURNING 10K thing smh - robert does love aaron more than he loves money and power but at the same time, oh boy does he love money and power! and he makes some fucked up choices around them.

the actual issue of why they broke up is more around obviously rob knocking up rebecca - which happened more because rob was genuinely angry at aaron, angrier than he’d been in such a long time. i’ve spoken about this so many times, but as far as robert was aware at that moment, he’d spent all this time struggling without aaron, unable to sleep, pouring money into a lawyer to try and get him out early and here’s aaron, disregarding all of that, taking drugs and threatening his chances of early release

and aaron going to prison? that’s something aaron did by himself (and ok also finn) that hurt robert and liv. a lot. that’s something that affected them both horrendously that was aaron’s fault. i have a friend whose dad punched someone at work which led to him getting fired and his mum literally up and left him - that level of violence against others really can break up relationships. aaron put someone in hospital and went to prison for it and robert chose to stay and didn’t hold it against aaron - until that one moment of weakness, where everything was a little too much, and he allowed himself to really be angry at aaron for putting them in that situation - and he fucked up massively. because he’s an idiot. and also probably because he has some issues around putting aaron on a pedestal sometimes and seeing aaron itching for more spice and being really very, horribly, awfully human was very very difficult for robert at that moment.

like. aaron put someone in hospital and robert barely said a word to aaron about it. that’s insane. and mirrored in a lot of ways in aaron’s initial reaction to staying with robert after the reveal and finding out about the baby. they both have the worst communication issues and also they are both so desperate to stay with each other that they overlook things that need to be talked about and dealt with. and that’s what’s been getting them in trouble since the moment they got together properly.

anyway, i’m literally more sympathetic towards the ons than i am basically anything else robert has ever done e v e r, which is ironic because that’s the one thing that fucked up robert’s life and ultimately pushed aaron away.

and ok let’s look at what aaron knew, from his side, that was expressed in canon, in the most simplistic form we can:

robert was angry at aaron for taking spice and slept with rebecca to hurt him, regrets it massivelyrebecca is now pregnant and not getting rid of the baby and also not leaving the village or going anywhere robert doesn’t want the baby but also is sort of fucked up about itaaron wants to be with robertaaron thinks robert would be a good dadaaron wants robert to spend time with his child if that’s what robert wants (because he very much loves robert)aaron doesn’t want rebecca to spend time with robert and does not know how to handle the fact that the baby is a reason why that has to happenin fact, rebecca being around is a constant reminder of the worst parts of robert and all those parts that he gave into earlier this yearand she has clearly expressed to aaron that she wanted to steal robert from him aaron has no real reason to trust that robert wouldn’t end up with rebecca despite everything because aaron is only human and its natural to be insecure about ur partner spending time with an ex who they kissed and also slept with in the last yearaaron wants to believe that robert only wants himaaron pushed most of that resentment on rebecca moreso than robert because that was an easier option for himultimately, he also resents robert and it doesn’t take much pushing for him to take that anger out on robert as well as rebecca, with almost deadly consequencesthe whole situation, likely in conjunction with the fact that he’s already experienced a lot of trauma earlier that year in prison which we are reminded of with the jason call back when aaron tries to buy spice again, is horrific for aaron’s mental healthaaron removes himself from the situation - both because he himself is struggling and because he almost killed robert - he says that he doesn’t need this and neither does robert.

i know i’ve seen a lot of people say that robert was the one who was bad for his mental health but it was so so so much more the situation as a whole than it was robert - and the situation was borne out of robert’s horrible decisions and god damn is that why robert needs to sort himself out and stop making horrible decisions on impulse whenever he’s feeling emotions that are hard to handle

- aaron needed to do it, because aaron was in a place where he was reacting with dangerous levels of violence every time he was upset at or about robert

and now robert needs to do it, because…. well, look at the little fucker, throwing himself into getting control of home farm as if that’s going to fill the emptiness in his chest, without any regard for anyone else’s safety or feelings. it’s a miracle no one has died yet (again) as a result of robert’s recklessness and carelessness over the lives of other people - and there have been enough close calls. this isn’t like… a cry of help to aaron though? this isn’t about rob trying to get aaron back lmao. it’s about him thinking he’s lost aaron for good and so deciding to do exactly what he was doing before aaron came along - which was slowly getting home farm and all the money and power that comes along with it. only this time, he’s acting almost deranged, because… well, he’s having a breakdown isn’t he?

for aaron and robert to get back together, aaron needs to continue to be in a place where he won’t resort to violence and robert needs to wake up and realise that being careless about people’s lives and doing what he’s been doing etc etc isn’t a good way to live + whatever else they’re gonna have him face up to lmao

but like? if robert stops being a dick and chasing after money and power at the expense of all the good things in his life (which - if anything could ever teach him that that’s not as emotionally fulfilling a way to live as being with your family and the man you love, i feel like this situation might)? i don’t see why aaron wouldn’t be happy with robert? they’re in love with one another and people can change and better themselves and lbr aaron literally said himself that he still thinks of himself as being in a relationship with rob because emotionally they’re both totally committed to one another.

robert may be a terrible human but he loves aaron and he’s spent a lot of time trying to be better for aaron - he’s saved aaron’s life over and over, is someone aaron wants to spend the rest of his life with, is someone aaron slips work to spend his entire day with, makes aaron laugh, loves aaron’s sister, someone who decorated an entire insane and beautiful house for them to live in, is someone who couldn’t sleep in their bed without aaron in it, someone who thinks that aaron is beautiful inside and out, someone who threw a surprise wedding for aaron because he was panicking about going to prison and needed something to ground him a little, someone who devoted all of his time and energy to supporting aaron through one of the toughest fucking periods of aaron’s life without asking or needing anything in return

robert is awful to most people but most of the time he tries like hell to be the best he can be to aaron and most of the time? he succeeds

sometimes he doesn’t and those are the moments where we internally slap him upside the head but like… that’s also how relationships work, usually

(but also thank christ rob is getting the redemption coma or whatever bc he needs it)

and aaron loves him back - even after everything, aaron defends robert to people, he truly believes in the best parts of robert because he’s seen them, as well as the worst parts - and he’s forgiven the worst parts because that’s what aaron does and that’s not a bad thing or a weakness or something he needs to be gently pushed out of, that’s a beautiful quality in a human being tbh fuck everyone who doesn’t appreciate and respect aaron’s capacity to forgive whilst still sticking up for himself and making sure no one walks over him, because he absolutely would never let anyone walk over him, not even robert - aaron knows his own mind and his own heart and he’s going to do whatever he’s going to do, fuck what anyone else thinks and if that means believing that robert is deserving of his forgiveness, i don’t think that’s something that makes him weak nor is it necessarily even something that takes something away from aaron, that’s hard for him to do or makes him lesser in any way. idk i’m a forgiving person and i get how against the odds easy that can be sometimes, even if it’s not necessarily the best idea always 😂

IM GETTING OFF TRACK BASICALLY AARON LOVES ROBERT AND ROBERT LOVES AARON AND THAT WASNT ENOUGH FOR THEM THIS YEAR - EVERYTHING IMPLODED AND SOMETIMES IT WAS AARON’S FAULT, MORE OFTEN IT WAS ROB’S FAULT AND GOD SOMETIMES IT WAS THE WORLD JUST BEING RELENTLESSLY SHITTY TO THEM AND PILING ON SOME MORE PAIN

BUT WANTING AARON TO BE WITH ROBERT IS NEVER NECESSARILY AS SIMPLE AS “I DISREGARD AARON’S FEELINGS IN FAVOUR OF ROBERT’S” BECAUSE I SECRETLY HATE AARON, BECAUSE TO ME, AARON’S FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS INEVITABLY GOING TO BUILD BACK UP TO WANTING TO BE WITH ROBERT

AND I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR AARON’S FEELINGS HENCE THE JUSTICE FOR AARON’S FEELINGS 2K17 MOVEMENT THAT I KEEP HAVING TO BRING OUT

but it’s just that that decision to be together again doesn’t necessarily have to turn into the hell that 2017 was for them both

🤷🏻‍♀️ they can be better than that and they can genuinely make one another happy - they just need a better run at it, with less awful impulses towards violence or infidelity or what have you

(and also it’s a soap and their relationship is hella entertaining)

#long post #....no one is gonna read that question and not anticipate having to scroll for their life right #THIS TURNED INTO A RAMBLING MESS IM SORRY IM SICK RN #IM NOT ON MY A GAME #meta #answering anons

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