#he doesn't cook

[ipostmysimpingstuffanonymously]

Gojo "Touch Starved" Satoru

[confessedlyfannish]

DP x DC Prompt

Batman grunts a greeting at the boy Selena has introduced as "Danny" as if it's totally normal for a kid to be hanging out on a rooftop with her, kicking his legs out above the edge as if he's not 20 stories up.

Selena shares an equally amused glance with Danny that has Batman scowling harder than his usual as the boy gets up, stretching out from his hunch to reveal a 6 foot 2 build not unlike Jason's.

"Wow, spot on," Danny whistles, grinning at Selena. "I owe you a twenty."

"Darling," Selena purrs, hand finding purchase on his upper bicep. "I never exaggerate."

"Looks like Catwoman's got a new scratching post, B," Nightwing cackles in his comm, which is probably why Batman finds himself gritting out a--

"Little young for you, isn't he?"

The kid--in a hoodie and jeans, seriously, where did Selena find this guy--stares at him incredulously before his mouth stretches into an uncomfortably wide grin, revealing fairly sharp canines. He strides forward.

"What can I say, Mr. The Batman," he says, placing a hand on the man's shoulder. He must be around the same age as Dick. "I've got a thing for powerful women in black."

"See you for dinner tomorrow Lena," he says, hand lifted in farewell as he heads for the edge. He pushes himself over the wall with one hand, dropping over.

Batman clocks Selena's lack of alarm and doesn't flinch. Thirteen seconds later, there's no resounding thud when Danny's body would've met the pavement and she's still smirking at him.

"No metas in Gotham," he growls.

Selena throws her head back and laughs. "If I see any, I'll be sure to call. Now," she kisses his cheek, "I better go. I've got a date tomorrow."

[flowerofthemoonworld]

Culinary Crucible ✨

Thanks @alchemivich for the visuals 😊

[beebfreeb]

I don't think Senshi would play Cooking Mama. He would think it's a great game for the kids to have but it wouldn't appeal to him like the real thing. He wouldn't play any actual cooking sims, either. He would play Tetris and Candy Crush.

[luna-lovegreat]

Currently obsessed with the idea that the boys go to Time for love advice, since "he's married so he knows this stuff right?"

I mean they couldn't recognize a wedding ring??? And neither did he???

And time was saying this in his youth I mean cmon

Twilight: So ancestor. What would you do if like. Malon left to another world and never came back

Time: ... bro Malon called me fairy boy and then we were married like what

Hyrule: So uhh old man. How does one. Meet a girl.

Time: By speaking to her I guess? Or not, Malon did the talking for me

Hyrule: riiiiight...

Wild *no tact*: Hey so like... what if your redheaded wife who's name started with M died.

Time: what?!?!

Wild, undeterred: but like before she proposed.

Time: ...

Wild: and you don't remember if you would have said yes. What's your advice for dealing with that?

Time: ... vent to a fairy?

Warriors: hey old man

Time: no no no not this one asking me please

Warriors: how do I get women to stop coming after me. So I can ya know. Choose without war trying to force me into relationships

Time: I can safely say I've never had that problem captain

Wars: of course not *smirks*

Wars: ok but seriously how do I make them go away

Time: ... wear a wedding ring so they think you're taken, I've got a shiny extra

Time: no no why- they won't stop, I don't know how to do love!

Time: ok well at least I have legend. That kid would never ask for advice, I'll sit by him.

Legend: so old man.

Time, looking forward to a normal conversation: yeah?

Legend: hypothetically, what would you do if you found out Malon didn't exist.

Legend: And her whole world didn't, but it did, and now it doesn't

Time: ...Excuse me for a minute.

Time, writing a letter as fast as he can: MALON HOW DO I GIVE LOVE ADVICE THEY THINK IM WISE

Malon: lol

Happy Valentine's Day guys, have a headcanon :P

The boys go to Time for love advice and Time spouts whatever wise-sounding bs he can, before shoving them all on Malon for therapy when they visit the ranch

Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse! :D

[nelkcats]

Fenton Street Food

"You know what's better than being a superhero? A street food vendor! Yes, superheroes can save the day, stop villains and receive hatred or admiration as the case may be, but a street vendor? They are at the heart of the action, fulfilling their dreams! They traveled the world feeding the masses, and even met superheroes, feeding them to keep them doing their duty, food carts are the centerpiece of keeping the heroes alive, they are the heroes..."

Maybe if Danny repeated it enough times he'd start to believe it, though seeing the monstrosity that was the Fenton food cart he highly doubted it. More so because it had fucking guns hidden next to the mutant and very alive Hot dogs (which by the way were not sellable, they were the mascots of the brand).

It all started when Jack Fenton talked about his dream of delivering his favorite food around the world, that fueled Maddie Fenton's idea, and since Jazz was in college and Danny was on vacation no one could stop them.

Soon Danny became a victim of his parents' eccentricities. Although the halfa had to admit that selling in Gotham was a lot of fun, thieves didn't think it was worth mugging him and the Rogues themselves bought his food of dubious origins.

It was almost a shame to have to change cities because Batman was getting too suspicious but Metropolis was waiting for him. And he would be back eventually; some bats who had enjoyed his strange roving food stall had waved him off with handkerchiefs, wiping away fake tears. Danny appreciated it.

Besides, Red Robin affirmed to him that he would recommend him to Superboy, so he wouldn't run out of customers anytime soon. He wondered if he should stop by Central City, the Flash Family ate a lot didn't they?

[twistedwonderlandobsession]

3:46Pm

Malleus: How to cook?

Malleus: Teach me how to cook

Malleus: How to not set food on fire?

Malleus: What good Dinner?

Malleus: How to cook good dinner

Malleus: How to tell when chicken is cooked?

4:15Pm

Yuu: Malleus I am not Google

Malleus: Oh....

Malleus:....

Malleus: Who is google?

Malleus: How to get onto Google?

Malleus: Where is Google?

[nocreativityfornames]

Not them getting together to take revenge on Mephisto

[clairedaring]

Ming + being proactive in getting to know Joe and his works

MY STAND-IN (2024) | 1.03

[lucaswarmhotchocolate]

Harry Potter can cook. tbh. He deserves it. Also I headcanon that voldemort has made it so he does not need to sleep or eat much in order to thrive, physically and mentally, but he still eats anything Harry cooks and offers to him. A love language, of sorts.

[dollya-robinprotector]

Whitney accidentally burning a bowl of cereal... And Alex's kitchen while everyone is gathering eggs & milk outside

Counterpoint: He was holding a baby while making that cereal bowl, he got distracted. You can't blame him, or question him how the fuck a bowl of cereal and milk can cause fire. Nope.

He'll get better at it eventually I promise.

[foxtamer113]

Loid: Will you marry me?

Yor, breaking voice: I...I don't even know how to make rice-

[politemagic]

everyone say congratulations to the first time homeowners!

edit: i may or may not have been inspired to write some headcanons based on this, if you're interested

[carnevol]

Fella didn't have two words for you, you coming here. Now you're his.

[luna-lovegreat]

I want. Four to get appreciation. Because

Four gave a ton of unnoticed help when Twilight was injured

The fight with Wild was difficult, and I know we're all concerned about his negative view of the shadow crystal

But Four did something that no one else really thought of to help- He took care of Twi's stuff

From the beginning he told Twilight to not worry about them

So Four took care of pretty much everything but the others (that Sky and Wars handled)

He took care of Epona

Which is so very important- he took care of Twilight's horse. After her arrival at the stable Four followed up on her

And for Epona, a horse so attached to her human, having some company can help so much for reassurance

He took care of Twilight's stuff

He got Twi's shield- his bags and equipment, and organized it into one place

And he was worried. He obviously found the shadow crystal while handling Twi's stuff, but his negative reactions to it were out of concern.

Also- because of his placement in this scene

I'm fairly convinced Four was ready to start cooking before Wild showed up (since he's beside the counter with food supplies). At the very least he had the basket of fruit out for everyone -but he was literally standing with food behind him- he thought of everything

And he did housekeeping!

Wars payed for the inn, so Four took care of the inn

Realistically these boys were probably not too concerned with tidyness. Four got all of Twi's things on one table, and took care of the room they stayed in

Organizing tables and Twi's things, having food supplies ready, and opening the curtains- overall he was the one tidying up the inn

Four helped in a huge way! He took care of Twi's horse (Epona is so important), his equipment and shield and bag, as well as the other rooms in the inn

Four filled in all the little tasks that others didn't think of. He helped in ways that were needed, but not obvious

There's a lot of problems with the shadow crystal and with Wild, and I don't know what's gonna happen in the future

But don't forget this- don't forget that Four was one who stepped up in an almost unnoticeable way

Don't forget that when everyone was barely holding it together, Four visited Twilight's horse and took care of his things

No matter what develops in the future- this amount of care shown is important ya know?

.

Art and comic from Jojo @linkeduniverse au :)))

[artiststarme]

There is literally nothing that Eddie hated more than snowstorms. The snow always matted his hair, he got cold way too easily, and his ungraceful ass always slipped on ice. He absolutely despised the Midwestern winter and how much snow Hawkins got during the colder months. It was ridiculous having to wake up to ten inches of snow outside his window that he had to shovel off his and his neighbor's driveways and scrape off the cracked windshield of the van. What he wouldn’t give to be able to hibernate for four months to escape the entirety of the cold. 

But Steve loved winter. He loved the mystical view of the soft snowflakes falling from the sky, playing hockey on the thick ice of the local pond, and curling up beside the frosty window with a hot chocolate in hand. He even liked the snowstorms that everyone else found dreadful, the thick snow that made the Beemer slip and fishtail. 

When Steve and Eddie spent their first winter as a couple together, they had to make a lot of compromises. Steve had to turn his gloriously cool house into a steaming sauna for Eddie to spend the night there, still wrapped in multiple layers and a duvet while Steve sweated to death in basketball shorts and crew socks. Eddie had to mosey on over to the pond to “skate” with Steve, i.e. slip and flounder on the ice while Steve skated and watched him pout like a grumpy cat. And the kids had to watch the disgusting view of Eddie snuggling way too close to Steve underneath his winter coat to leech warmth from him. Compromise!