#he doesn't do that

[imminent-danger-came]

Maybe Spicynoodles? Or Blackquill (Peng x Macaque)?

I really like queer-platonic spicynoodles. I could be into that, and I could totally see Red Son having romantic feelings for MK. I just can't for the life of me imagine MK blushing from having a crush. I can't do it

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Cannon

Boredom is a silent killer.

A person could sit in a bed for hours doing nothing, withering away as the seconds go by, and nothing would be done about it. They would simply be left to their own devices, forgotten by the world while they disappeared.

“You’re being dramatic,” Kakashi commented, barely even looking up from the paperwork that Tsunade-sama had brought into the room to keep him busy while he was by Gai’s side. “It’s not that bad.”

“Easy for you to say,” Gai huffed. “You at least have something to do.”

“I could give you my paperwork.”

Gai regretted his words instantly. “No, I think I’m good,” Boredom was enough to do him in. He didn’t need to be killed faster by paperwork that wasn’t even his. “Why are you doing that anyways? Isn’t it supposed to be signed by the Hokage?”

“She is signing it,” Kakashi objected. “She just asked that I look through it and sort out what she should sign and what she should just put in the trash.”

“And you agreed to this because?”

“Because it was the only way I could convince her to let me take time off of missions so I could be here with you,” finally he dragged his eyes away from the report he was reading, an unimpressed expression on his face as he stared at Gai. “I could leave if you’d like.”

Gai wanted to jump up and stop Kakashi. To physically hold him in place so he wouldn’t move, but his chest ached at the mere thought of moving so he continued to sit there. Bored and buzzing with the energy he couldn’t burn.

“I could just do a few-”

“No.” Kakashi returned his focus to the report. 

“If I only do-”

“Zero,” his partner responded without looking up. “You will do zero.”

“But I’m bored!” He couldn’t even flop back against the bed dramatically since Shizune had lifted the bed in order for him to sit up. “I want to do something, Rival.”

“And your solution to that is to work out?” 

“Well, I do like working out…”

Sighing, Kakashi set the report back on top of the pile that Tsunade had placed beside him and turned towards Gai. “You just had top surgery,” he reminded him as if Gai could forget. As if he’d just miss placed that information when he’d been looking forward to this day for months.

No, years.

“I’m bored.”

“You’re recovering,” Kakashi placed a hand over Gai’s. A comforting gesture that did little to ease Gai’s anxieties. “What do you always tell me when I end up in the hospital because of Chakra exhaustion?”

“Rest is just as important as training,” he muttered his mantra under his breath, insulted that Kakashi would sit and throw it back at him. “But-”

A finger pressed against his lips, sealing in the words he was trying to say.

“No buts,” Kakashi whispered. “Shizune said you’ll be here for three to six days recovering. The more you overextend yourself, the longer your stay will be.”

Three to six days. If it were Kakashi in this bed the time would fly by. Gai would have an endless list of ideas for things they could do together that wouldn’t overextend his partner and earn him a longer stay.

When it was him stuck in bed, though, he couldn’t think of a single thing to do. 

Not one idea came to him no matter how hard he tried.

“How about a game?” Kakashi suggested suddenly, earning him a confused look from Gai. “I can go get a board game from your apartment. One of the ones we played last time I was stuck in here.”

A board game.

“How did I fail to think of that?” Gai scolded himself, immediately earning himself a flick to the forehead. “Ow! Kakashi!”

“You’re recovering,” He stated as if Gai had somehow magically forgotten that. “Give yourself a break Gai.”

“Sorry, I forgot that I was expecting to lose some of my ability to think when I got rid of my chest.”

“Well, you did always think with your dick and you still don’t have one of those yet.”

Kakashi’s response blindsided him. Never, in all the years he’d known the other man, had he thought he was capable of using such cutthroat words against him of all people. The elders, yes. Naruto, maybe. Iruka-Sensei, absolutely

But him?

Maito Gai?

That was taking things a step too far. Thankfully, Gai had the perfect comeback prepared within seconds. 

"Is this why you don't want bottom surgery?” He asked, a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips when Kakashi narrowed his eyes. “You have enough dick in your personality to make up for the lack of one down there?"

There was an honest effort made on Kakashi’s part to keep his cool. A deep breath, the scrunching of his eyes. All done in an attempt to keep his composure and not give in to the weight of Gai’s words.

It all failed, though.

Not even five seconds after Gai had uttered those words, Kakashi was curling into himself laughing. It wasn’t his usual chuckle either, but a full belly laugh that filled the entire room.

“Ok,” Kakashi wheezed. “For that one, I’ll pick up Dango on the way back.”

A board game with his best friend, his favourite treat, and a chance to hear more of that sweet laughter his rival kept so carefully hidden from the rest of the world. Recovery didn’t seem so bad when Gai had all of those things to look forward to.

[irresistiibles]

@masqce / jin ling & jin guangyao

“Uncle. Or Guangyao. I don't know if you still don't know who I am.” Jin Ling was nervous. He didn't want to say scared. He hadn't been scared of Guangyao before, even after he'd been held hostage and the man later went on to say he didn't know who Jin Ling was (something he still couldn't confirm or deny) the largest part of him had just been relieved to see the man alive again. Even now he was happy to have both of the people who raised him alive, but he kept a little more distance, shoulders hunched defensively even as he tried to relax. "...it's good to see you again." It was. Jin Ling was sure that it was, and as long as he insisted that to himself he wouldn't get overwhelmed or scared or frustrated and start crying, no matter how easy that would be to do right now. "I- you didn't kill me on purpose right?" The question just feel from him, completely devoid of tact, but he had to ask. It had been sitting with him since he remembered everything. "I know there was magic involved, or that's what everyone said. You wouldn't right?" It wasn't entirely cohesive, the way he was speaking, but he couldn't possibly try to reign himself in and make it better.

[foolsocracy]

identity reveals are always fun

[icestorming]

- oh.

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[egophiliac]

queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎

I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠

[lotus-pear]

if being cringefail losers was a crime these two idiots would get the life sentence

[americas-sass]

Using Lo-fi Study Nights at Seacaster Manor as a way to boost his popularity and help further the goals of his friends while also refusing to acknowledge that the actual purpose is to never have to be alone in that big empty house is PEAK Fabian behavior. Can anyone hear me?? Lou I am in your WALLS

[carlyraejepsans]

sans undertale would not make i fucked your wife jokes. people want to make jokes about sans fucking asgore's wife but sans the character would NOT do that r you kidding me. you can cut the secondhand embarrassment with a knife every time they're in the same room together, sans likes the guy, i bet he feels genuinely kinda bad for asgore. he'd be like sorry about the dating your ex wife thing. to be fair she's a really cool ex wife. and asgore would be like (rescue shelter dog sigh) She is.

[yrkhn]

i feel bad so im gonna post this shi from23(?)

explanation:

1. Bruce tries to reconnect with Jason. This comes a couple of years after Jason's return and a lot of events afterward. During another family holiday, Bruce finds Jason alone outside the manor and the one-sided conversation happens, during which Bruce says those words. Anger and resentment prevent Jason from answering anything.

2. Years later and AFTER ETHIOPIA (you know... this Damien arc). Bruce screwed up. Jason hated him for it, a lot happened and after a long time and a showdown they came to peace. Jason can see how tired Bruce is and he knows every word Bruce is going to say to him, he knows it all by heart. So one day, after another fight, Jason just says THIS back to him.

He hadn't said that since he was the kid Bruce carried in his arms. And they both know it.

That's it. :3

sorry my english is bad i know i just wanted to share this with you

[thankstothe]

this show rewires you fundamentally in 60 seconds and then just goes on to have more seasons. audacity

[ruubesz-draws]

Come with Kong to Monkeyland!

Kong just wants to show his New Empire in Hollow Earth

My brain constantly nagging me to draw this as Kong:

[clementineskesh]

the best thing about benoit blanc's clearly established emotional intelligence is knowing with 100% certainty that he did everything in his power to hurt miles bron's feelings on purpose

[fimbry]

Whole ass man in my kitchen slamming cabinets for attention.

[nerdpoe]

Jazz and Johnny got...way more involved that Danny will ever want to know.

And Jazz, very liminal, actually fell pregnant.

She opted to leave for a bit, have the baby, and adopt it out. It was half ghost and half very liminal human, she had no idea what the GIW would do to it.

So she left on an "extended study trip", gave birth, gave it over to the adoption agency, warned them there was a high chance the kid would be a meta, and went about recovering.

Unbeknownst to her, that baby was immediately stolen by one Sheila Haywood for the purposes of tax fraud.

From there, the baby was given to Willis Todd, after Sheila lied and said that he was the father.

From there, the baby was put under the care of Catharine Todd, who died far too young.

From there, the kid tried to steal Batman's tires so he wouldn't starve.

Fast forward, and Jason Todd, now an adult, decides to pay a visit to the new head Psychologist of Arkham to vet the lady.

He ends up staring into a set of eyes that mirror his own, and when he runs the DNA from the hair he stole off of her, it comes back positive that yeah.

That's his mom.