#he's off the shits

[m-myrddin]

Laurence “The Hound” Everick

Roles: Member of The Council - Head of Investigation

(He/Him)

Patron Deities: Earth

When Laurence was first appointed to The Council, his title was very nearly “The Banshee.” This idea was scrapped in favour of the much more fitting title of “The Gods Bloodhound” or simply “The Hound.” A title that derives not only from the shape of his soul, but also from his strong sense of smell and tracking capabilities. Before joining The Council, Laurence was known within the Clan for being able to quickly find monsters while on The Hunt. When groups would head out to clear the area near the Clans home, they would often ask Laurence if he was available to come with them to make it easier, assuming that he himself was not already out on The Hunt. 

Because of his simple title, Laurence has garnered the reputation for being the weakest and least intimidating member of the Alzanar Clans Council. A reputation that does not at all reflect the true nature of things. However, it works in his favour. People do not expect for him to have the skill he has in a fight, nor do they expect to feel the chill of fear that runs down their spine during his pursuit of them. Laurence, like many of the rest of The Council, is relentless. It is a trait favoured by their Disciple, and reflected in her (and the Gods) selection. 

Likes: 

His own cooking (no one else agrees)

Keeping strange things in his pockets (once pulled out a live rat and handed it to the person he was talking to because he “didn’t want it there anymore.”)

Fashion

Swords

Dislikes:

Sparrow meat

Rats

Being alone

Physical Description:

6′1

Out of all of the members of The Council, Laurence is the most well groomed. He loves to dress nice, and can often be found in clothing that is as close to modern day High Fashion as it gets. It’s not uncommon to see Laurence utilizing things that would often be seen on field or herding dogs. One of his most beloved accessories is a necklace designed after the anti-wolf collar. 

Laurence himself is incredibly sharp looking. There is not an inch of him that is round or soft. Many people are a bit intimidated by the intense look in his eye that he carries around with him on the day to day. He keeps the stubble on his face just as well groomed as the rest of him, though his boyfriend, Damien, often complains about the scratch of it. 

Despite his strength and powerful build, Laurence has the appearance of a lanky man with little meat on his bones, a fact not helped by his habit of wearing clothes slightly too big for him that accentuates his height and the unusual length of his limbs.  

Laurence is one of the lower ranking members of The Council and doesn’t have as many piercings to boast as others. 

Right eyebrow piercing

Vertical labret

Septum

Lobe

Helix and mid helix 

Industrial 

Because of his lower ranking, Laurence may not wear large jewelry during traditional or formal occasions, despite his preference to do so. Instead, he wears smaller spikes, studs, and hoops in his piercings and makes up for their lack of flamboyancy by shining them until they are perfect and commissioning them to be made in bright colours. 

Laurence has a surprising lack of scars compared to many other Hunters. Many people wonder just how he managed to avoid the beatings that everyone else takes, which he attributes to dumb luck. The fact of the matter is, nearly every single one of his scars are located somewhere that makes it very easy for him to cover them up. 

Large claw marks in the center of his back

Precisely four stab wounds in a near perfect circle on his left shoulder

Another stab wound on his stomach 

A large skin graft on his right thigh, slightly paler than the rest of him

A burn mark in the perfect shape of a hand on his right side 

A slash starting from his left hip bone approximately 7 inches long

Fun fact: Despite the fact that Hunters spend a lot of time out on the road and cooking for themselves, Laurence is horrendous at it. Most people outright refuse to eat anything that he cooks for them out of fear of falling ill. However, Laurence believes himself to be a fantastic cook, and often prefers his own cooking over anything else. Those around him believe that he has simply eaten so much of his own cooking that his tastebuds have shriveled up and died. Some even joke that his cooking was so horrendous it gave him enough brain damage that it tricked itself into thinking it was good. Whatever the cause, Laurence eats every meal he cooks for himself like its the best thing he has ever tasted. 

Want to get a general feel of his vibe? Here are a couple songs from his playlist to get started:

Shut Eye - Stealing Sheep 

Way of the Triune God - Tyler Childers 

My Name is Bocephus - Hank William Jr. 

See the Light - Ghost

[haunted-xander]

If you skip a meal Senshi will materialize next to you w/ food at the ready

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

[chloesimaginationthings]

How Michael’s interview with Phone dude went in FNAF 3

[laikabu]

chapter 76

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[mearchy]

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[snawleyy]

[deadsetobsessions]

Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.

“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”

God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.

Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.

“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”

“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”

“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”

Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.

“What happened?!”

“My word, master Danny!”

“What is it?!”

“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”

Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.

“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”

“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.

“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.

“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”

The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.

“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”

“Danny.”

“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.

“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.

Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.

“Sorry.”

“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.

“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”

Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…

“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”

“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.

“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”

The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.

“Done.”

“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”

“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”

“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”

“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”

“Very well.”

“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.

——

“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”

“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.

“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”

“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”

Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.

“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”

“Tt.”

“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”

[triona-tribblescore]

Its like miraculous ladybug with how bad his vision is- (Died over the layout good luck trying to read it in order im sorry- TwT <3)

[antomatkoen]

cheeky bastard soap at it again 🙄

[queerdraws]

it's zoro's birthday!! happy birthday big guy, may you say many more insane things to your enemies in the coming years

[thebibliosphere]

I feel like I've complained about Tim's email situation in Gotham Knights before (edit: I have), but the truth of it is just so funny.

He's signed up for so many podcasts, video game streamers, and random news alerts; it's just a constant barrage of data going straight into his constantly whirring brain. Hell, he even floats the idea of the Batfamily having their own podcast as a way to correct misinformation about them (which Jason shoots down instantly), and it's made me realize something.

Timothy Drake would be a YouTuber.

In this universe specifically, Timothy Jackson Drake, the heir to Drake Industries and the foster son of the late Bruce Wayne would be a YouTuber.

Think about it. It'd be the perfect cover. Who would ever suspect that some 16-year-old nepo baby with a YouTube channel could ever be Red Robin? You'd have to be mad. I mean, look at him.

Red Robin just dropped out of literal thin air and garotted someone four times his size, and you expect anyone to believe that's the same kid who does 24-hour Minecraft charity streams and occasionally drops 6-hour video essays (his last one was on Lex Luthor's illegal bit mining operation on the moon)?

That kid?

You think that kid is Red Robin?

Ch'yah, okay, sure. And the Joker is funny 🤡.

[hypewinter]

During a press conference for the newest Justice League member, Phantom, a reporter asks him "Do you have anything to say to all the children who aspire to be like you?"

Phantom looked at the reporter puzzled before saying, "Children wanna be like me? Why? I'm a bad influence."

[odeu-m]

quick sketch of these 2 from @celestialalpacaron's delightful overlord au

wip but i dont trust myself to finish stuff and i like the sketch well enough so <3

[dannymans66]

OKAMA BEAM✋🎀👗