#hurt!merlin

[mysticsublimeperson]

Part 1 >>

Merlin was disappointed, but mostly at himself. He always knew that Arthur would never actually be in a relationship with him, he will humor Merlin sure, he would tell people as long as they didn’t know Uther, and there weren’t risks of his father finding out, he would say that he loved Merlin but then did shit like this all the time. He would cancel plans and dates, and once even a week long trip that they had planned in favor of his father, and his company. Sometimes he would even cancel Merlin to have a date with one of the girls that Uther threw his way.

Usually it didn’t bother him that much, of course it hurt but he had known Arthur for most of their lives, they had been friends before… whatever they were now, he had always been like this and Merlin had always permitted it. He guess he never thought about asking for a change before, so that’s also his fault.

But he had been trying, it was sad enough when Arthur missed his birthday dinner Merlin had cooked, because his father had booked a flight to France, but he could understand it, it was his birthday, it was normal to spend it with one’s family. He made a point to tell him, tell him he was sad about this stuff, tell him when a plan was important to him, tell him when his words were too harsh or hurtful. It usually didn’t stick, they were to used to say shit jokingly but a few things he did, and he’ll try his best to keep his promises unless Uther was in the picture.

He knew the situation with his father was tense at best, Arthur had always fought for his approval, and, aware or not, that was still his primary concern. He knew he had no right to get between their relationship, and knew he would be losing that battle before it began. He didn’t doubt Arthur’s feelings for him, but he could not help but doubt whether they were worth fighting for in his mind. In the end Merlin had always been there, he had always been prone to forgiveness, because he cared for Arthur above all, in the moment he didn’t really notice but in retrospect he really didn’t put much of a fight.

But he had done it this time. He had made sure his voice was heard. He had said that this night was important to him, he had made sure to tell him to save the date in advance and to explain several times what this night was about and what was important to him. He made sure Arthur knew the date, the time, the place, the dress code and the reason.

Merlin was excited.

His organization and research were going to be awarded, and if it all went well he may end the night with the funding necessary to keep the NGO going and even maybe expand some projects.

But then Arthur had wrote, “my father is in town” and then a couple of minutes later “sorry”

When Uther was in town, that meant that night he had to have a dinner with his children, a boring and stuffy dinner in a top restaurant to expensive for Merlin to even look at, and sometime he invited the daughters of some friend of his just for them to get to know each other.

He breathed slowly, looking at the message, here in front of the theater where the Gala was going to take place, dressed up all fancy. Trying to decide how to convey in a text message all the things that he was feeling.

He was going to be awarded, celebrated god damn it. It was unfair, it was terribly unfair for Arthur to do this just before the Gala, he was supposed to be happy and now he only wanted to go home.

He had wanted to share this moment with him and maybe He had also hoped to show off a little, Arthur was a very important person by definition. Maybe he had wanted to show Arthur that Merlin also had value.

But none of that mattered now.

He had gone to the Gala, alone. Regretting the moment he decided to invite Arthur instead of Gwen, he had put a smile on his face and turned off his phone, he had drunk Champagne and eating those mini tart of savory food with strange textures and tried to enjoy the evening with his colleagues. He had gone up the stage a grand total of three times, one to present, the other two to receive the great honor that were those awards. He had smiled, and changed the speech on the go to not mention “one special more than a friend” he had answered the questions of the reporters and declined the offer of his colleagues to extend the evening.

And now he was there. In a bench in a park eating a Kebap in a too-fancy-for-this place suit, next to a fancy bag, which contained two fancy boxes of two really important awards, while questioning his relationship.

He had seen cases like this all the time, he dedicated his life to help people in this kinds of situations, more or less, his relationship wasn’t dangerous of violent, and he was very much independent but the root of the problem was the same. The relationship was destined for failure.

They clearly wanted different things.

They had different ideologies, and priorities.

It was a disaster waiting to happen.

But it hurts so much.

He was freezing, but he still ordered another Kebap, he hadn’t been able to eat because of the nerves all day and it was catching with him.

He needed to make a decision.

He couldn’t keep going like this.

This was supposed to be a happy night.

He walked up to his flat, quietly thinking to find Arthur sitting in front of his door.

“Where were you?” Arthur accused upon seen him.

Merlin let his eyebrows go up. Trying to remember that it was early in the morning, and his neighbors were sleeping.

“Shit, sorry… it’s just… I been calling you and…”

“Get away from the door Arthur” he let the voice come out angry but he didn’t really want to talk right now.

“Of course, yeah, sorry” If this were any other situation, Merlin would had joked about the fact that Arthur never tended to say sorry, but right now that made him rather sad.

He opened the door and walked inside, and blocked the way when Arthur tried to do the same, just letting his tired expression do the job, he was way too tired and he had eaten two Kebap in a shop open at 2 am, and was starting to regret it.

“Merlin, I… Look I know today… I am sorry Merlin, it was a shit show at work, and my father came at the worst possible moment and…” he said trying to coax his way into the flat, but Merlin didn’t move “Can I enter? I think we need to talk… I need to apologize properly and explain my self and…”

“No” he stoped the Arthur’s babbling “It’s been a rather long day, and I want to rest” his voice was maybe a bit too loud and hard “and I don’t wanna talk right now” he added honestly.

“Ok.. yeah, I understand” he clearly didn’t, but at least was trying to or having a stroke, either way not Merlin problem right now. “Can I..?”

“Go home Arthur” Merlin stopped Arthur again.

“I hoped this was it” Arthur said sharp. And Merlin didn’t have the fight to shout all the shit he wanted to say.

“Not while your father is in town”

Merlin closed the door. He stunned Arthur enough to do it without a fight. And he could only hope that he had the common decency to not bring his door down at four in the morning. He had wanted to do a lot, but he was way to tired, physically and emotionally so he just laid off the bed and slept.

[kjjjjjjjjh]

hi i need help finding a merlin whump/angst fic i read on ao3 a long time ago. i don't remember anything about the author or the tags but if i had to guess it might have been the red exclamation point "graphic depictions of violence" It was also most likely a ONESHOT. PLEASE help me find it or tell me if you know anything about it.

*it might be under "merlin angst" when you search those exact words under the search bar in ao3, i used it on my phone, I'm still not sure how it works or if it's different from other devices. also i would go really deep into random pages like page 40 or even like page 200 so I've really absolutely no idea where it could be😭😭😭😭😭👎👎👎👎👎👎*

the fic went like this: Arthur catches merlin doing magic because they're in the woods or something (i forget what they were doing), merlin was like making a fire. later back in Camelot Arthur banishes merlin because of uther? or something, i don't remember. idk i just remember he banishes merlin. i think Arthur says he wants merlin gone by like the next morning. merlin then leaves by himself and he's in the woods, then he gets attacked by bandits or something, and he gets shot in the shoulder with an arrow. this is important because it might be the only thing that can help me identify the fic. some knights on patrol report back to arther that they had seen a sorcerer attacked by bandits and shot in the shoulder in the woods. arther later goes by himself to find merlin, then merlin sees him and gets scared and runs. arther is chasing him, merlin accidentally runs under some lose rocks or something , arther yells at him to stop but then the rocks fall on Merlin and almost arthur, but Merlin uses magic to keep the boulder from hurting arthur, then arthur gets merlin out from under the rocks and sees his leg very broken that he almost throws up, then he carries him back and its a happy ending.

please please help me i loved that fic and i didn't have the chance to save it because i didn't know how ao3 worked back then. pleaaaaaseeeee it's like one of my favorites I NEED TO FIND IT IVE LOOKED EVERYWHERE

[not-quite-girl-nor-quite-boy]

So here we are at whumptober day 3, day 4 will arrive in a few hours, im trying to catch up and i will.

Whumptober day 3- hair's breadth from death:

"Yeah, but like why?" Merlin asked complaining.

"Because, merlin, I said so. And if I have to suffer through these ridiculous trade agreements then so do you." Arthur said while lowering his arms with his shirt now on. Merlin sighed dramatically.

"Alright then, let's go. Get it over with." Merlin mumbled that last part under his breath and with Arthur growing tired of merlin blatantly ignoring the fact that he was supposed to give the orders, he stayed silent besides he was too busy mentally preparing himself for the dreadfully boring day ahead of him to care. They meandered into the hall and as usual, it was dull and tiring. Merlin was phasing in and out of interest, as usual, focusing on everything and anything that wasn't what they were talking about. 'Honestly, the lords complaining about the candle going out while the rest of the country is on fire. It's ridiculous.' Merlin thought to himself, he was quickly pulled from his thoughts by a sharp feeling running through his shoulder. It was agonising, but he couldn't make a scene so he decided to try and keep his composure.

But unfortunately, the pain became too much the only comfort he felt was the sound of Arthur's voice. That's it!

"Arthur." He said shockingly calmy, a small quiver arriving at the end of the word.

"Not now merlin." He replied before returning to his conversation with the round table knights.

"Arthur!" He said again, this time allowing a fraction of the pain he was in to flood through in his voice. He turned around quickly looking angry until he saw what was behind his manservant.

"Merlin!" He said shocked, shocked at the sight of the tall man standing behind merlin, shocked at the sight of the knife he was holding to merlins throat that was already bloody to the hilt though seemingly not from his neck, shocked truly to see an all but waterfall of blood pouring from his shoulder where he seemingly had been stabbed clean through. But shocked mostly because Merlin had been so quiet in attracting his attention.

The knights all stood drawing their swords and pointing them at the perpetrator accusingly.

"What do you want?" Arthur demanded standing and trying to remain calm enough to negotiate merlin's safety.

"Well honestly I wanted the boy to scream, thought it would make a more dramatic entrance, but the boy has a high pain tolerance!" He said smugly looking down at merlins face. He refused to show any fear only allowing his face to emit disgust. "And a pretty high fear tolerance too! What do you do to him?" He laughed. The knights all looked at each other confused and upset as well as concerned before focusing again on the task at hand. Arthur looked at merlin again noticing the lack of fear, mostly pain but even that was lesser than it should be. His train of thought was interrupted by the continuation of the man.

"But currently I want the knights to drop their swords and any pointy objects and go against the wall." The dark figure said from his stance behind a now greyer-looking merlin, his visage faltering as he looked more scared and pained than before. Arthur's attention was drawn to a familiar figure in his peripheral moving slowly back and then towards the man. Arthur had to stall was all.

"Ok. Do it," Arthur commanded. The knights looked at him questioning his certainty before he nodded to them all once telling them it was the right thing and that he had a plan. They all went against the wall willingly, all of them noticing and conveniently not mentioning the lack of a certain member of the group. The tall man stepped forward dragging, really more forcing merlin into step with him. Merlin rolled his eyes to the edge of their sockets trying to crane his vision to catch a glimpse of his attacker however also fighting to stay conscious and fighting hard against his drooping eyelids and his greying complexion told the knights all they needed to know. They all went against the wall willingly to not get merlin hurt. They all had learned to care deeply for the kind dopey servant. Since he had arrived in Camelot he had been a kind friend and a nice person, always willing to lend a hand or give help never wanting for anything in return, it did little to say they all loved merlin a large amount, while to others he may be "just a servant" to them he was a brother, and they would each defends him with their lives.

Merlin could feel himself weakening. He felt his blood pouring out of him into his shirt and the warm sticky fluid dripping down his chest and arm. His eyelids were getting heavier and his limbs were becoming limper.

"We'll do what you want but he looks like he is about to pass out, let him go," Arthur said trying to buy more time.

"Not tod-" he stopped as he collapsed to the ground bleeding and unconscious. Gwaine towered over him reaching his arms out to merlin who looked as if he was about to follow his example.

"I gotcha, I gotcha merlin don't worry." He said leaning the bleeding boy into his chest.

"Thank you," Merlin mumbled into Gwaine's shoulder while the other knights came running toward them. Gwaine chuckled slightly

"S'alright merls. I've gotcha." He said lovingly. Holding him tight as he went on to pass out in Gwaine's arms.

"Good job gwaine, he needs guais," Arthur said taking in merlin's condition sadly. It was his fault he was there. He forced him to come. This wouldn't have happened if he had let him do a menial task and not been so petty.

"Come on!" He shouted running ahead to prepare guias for his oncoming patient. Gwaine followed close after slowing only to reposition merlin to aid his comfort. They arrived in guais' chamber which for some ungodly, unfathomable reason was in a tower, (which meant lots of carrying for gwaine) to see guias moving potions and Arthur standing idly biting his thumbnail nervously.

"Set him down here," Guais said gesturing to the patient's cot. Gwaine did as he was told laying merlin's limp form down on the uncomfortable-looking bed.

"Oh god, hes a hairs breadth from death! I need you all out," Guais said flatly tearing merlins shirt open to better evaluate the wound.

An assortment of "no!", and "are you crazy?" And "not a chance."'s later and guais explained that he didn't have time to ask them to move every time he needed something from a shelf across the room as in a situation like this time is of the essence meaning he really didn't have time to explain this to them later, and the knights were gathered in the hallway in front of his chamber door, all lined up leaning against the wall save arthur who was pacing back and forth in front of the door thinking to himself, more just over think about what hed do to himself if merlin didnt make it out of this ok. He stopped himself their refusing to even consider that possiblitly. It wasnt even a possibilty, he told himself, guais is an amazing physician, he has been for years. Merlin will be fine. Merlin will be fine, he ricited it to himself refusing to even consider any possibility that varies from that.

None of them knew how long it had been, it could have been minutes or weeks but eventually guais came out, his hands slightly bloodstained despite him wiping them off on an old rag he was holding.

"Hes going to be ok. Hes tired and in pain and he wont be awake ling but you can see him if youd like." Guais explained. They all nodded but none of them knew what they were planning to say. They walked in slowly.

"Hey merlin." Leon said quietly.

"How are you feeling buddy?" Elyan said in a gently quiet voice.

"Oh god. Im fine! Dont talk to me like that. Just have a normal conversation with me." The knights all smilled at each other exchanging glances that communicating that merlin would be fine.

"We know who he was or why he was here yet?" Merlin asked swallowing an entire goblet of water as he asked.

"The guards woke him, apparently a freezing cold bucket of water was involved," they all snickered and merlin smiled smugly. "Im not complaining. But anyway he said a pale lady with dark hair asked him to take revenge on the kingdom that destroyed his village."

"What?!" Arthur and merlin said at the same time.

"It was almost ten years ago sire! It was under Uther's rule. It had nothing to do with you, we all know he was a much less... delicate King?" Elyan said trying to explain the situation to his king.

"Indeed. 'Delicacy' was never his strong suit. Anyway the traitor shall he executed at dawn."

"What, no!" Merlin shouted looking tired. They all looked at him seeming shocked and confused while also worried.

"No one is killing anyone. I understand that he hurt me so you guys are going to get overprotective but he was trying to avenge his fanily and he didnt understand that the man thay did it was long dead. But while what he did was wrong and... painful He was trying to do something good for his family. No one dies! Understand me?" He commanded angrily his eyes drooping closed as he spoke, yawns breaching his words.

"Ok merlin. I dissagree because he hurt you, but if its what you want then alright." Arthur said.

"Good. Well im tired so go away." He said already lying down and eyes closed. They all smiled happily and walked out quietly. He was gonna be ok

[noodles-and-tea]

Angel eyes

[pappelsiin]

arthur !!! 

[kr-yoongi]

Missed him so much today my heart was physically aching, what’s up with that btw??

[makkis-meanderings]

I grew up being gaslit and queerbaited by media, now you're trying to tell me that I shouldn't be filtering AO3 by >10,000 words, angst, hurt/comfort, canon divergence, pining??

what do you want from me fr??

[centurieslove]

rewatched 4x07 and this line left me dead in the street

[amariram]

"Why can't you be my destiny if I can be yours?"

Fun fact: i ran into this fanart the other day and my head just snapped and i immediately imagined an entire plot for a hurt/comfort fanfic that ends with this kiss and i automatically wrote it in like 2 hours.

You can find it here.

Am i insane? Probably. But can you pls help me finding the author of this fanart? I wanna thank them for the inspiration and for the wonderful masterpiece they created!! Ty

[sepezzz]

merlin fanart?????? in 2023????????

more context for these in the tags

[atdawn]

All I’ve ever wanted is to be your queen. I still want to be your queen. I don't want to see you dead, Guinevere...but I don't want to see you. I cannot look on you every day.

[mysticsublimeperson]

<< part 2 >>

Merlin woke up feeling cranky, he didn't exactly sleep. It resembled more to several disgusting and sweaty naps, and a lot of self deprecating introspection in between.

So Merlin decided to stop trying around 10 am, and moved to the sofa. He didn't have anything to do that day, they weren't waiting for him in the lab, nor in the office, they all thought he would have been too hangover. Funny.

He needed to get out, to get coffee, to try and look for a new perspective, or at least a solution, so he got up and dressed and went to open the door.

A sharp thud sounded when something collide to the ground.

"Arthur?"

"Shit, er... Merlin, sorry, good morning?" Arthur was trying to blink away the heaviness.

"Were you sleeping in my hallway?" Merlin was really confused now. Arthur had always been a bit of a prat, and he grew up rich (and still was very rich, even if he denied it) so he was posh. In all the years he knew him, Arthur had never volunteered himself to discomfort, because he could afford not to.

"Yeah, I.. Well, you told me to go, but then I thought that if I went then I would have to come back in a few hours, and well it was really early in the morning, and I didn't bring my car, so I would have to call for a car and then, well come back, and wold spend like a proper half hour just pacing around my flat, just so far away from you... guessed you also wouldn't be answering your phone, so waiting here seemed like the better option. But now that I say it out loud, it sounds kinda stalk-ish" He said sheepishly, his voice was still deep, and slow. Trying to recover from sleep. He stood up, but was supporting in the door frame. "It's just... you seemed really upset. I know I was the reason, but" he gulped "you are always for me when I'm like that..." Merlin sighed.

"Come in" Merlin talked with a controlled voice. He would have wished for a little more time to figure this out, but if he was honest maybe more time would have only made him more paranoid.

"I, er, yeah, thank you" It was extremely strange to hear Arthur so insecure, but Merlin needed to focus on his situation, and not fall into old habits. "How.. How did it go? Yesterday I mean, sorry I didn't ask sooner"

Bad, he wanted to say.

You ruined it, he wanted to shout.

I missed you, he wanted to cry.

"Fine, I guess" he didn't want to offer information, he sat in the sofa again.

Arthur gulped again and put on a tight smile. "I see" sitting beside him.

"And you? How was your dinner?" Merlin suddenly felt tired again, he didn't want to shout, or yell, he didn't want to incriminate or fight, he just wanted this situation to be over. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Arthur opened and closed his mouth several

"Merlin. I am so sorry" he said after a while. Without looking at him. "I know there's no excuse... and the way I treated you when you arrived here too... you didn't deserved that" his voices sounded tight.

If this had been any other day, Merlin would have folded, he would have told him that it was forgotten. Any other day, Merlin would have bitten the bullet of disappointment, and would have try to understand his point of view, his situation. Any other day...

"Arthur" he said after a long silence "I think it's time for us to rethink about what we want from this relationship" he could see the moment all the muscles in Arthur's body tensed up.

"What do you mean?" He sounded so scared, and Merlin fought the urge to hold him.

"What I mean Arthur it's that, this relationship can't go on like this forever" Merlin breathed slowly, trying to express himself as accurately as posible "I feel like im living on borrowed time with you, and even if you are the one in the wrong, I feel like I should just be grateful to have you a little longer, no matter how you much you may hurt me"

"That's not true Merlin, please, I would never intentionally hurt you. how can you think that? I love you" he finally looked Merlin in the eye. They were red and swollen, and a bit desperate.

"I know you love me Arthur, I believe you" he tried to swallow the knot in his throat "but sometimes that's just not enough" Merlin sat back at the sofa, looking at the ceiling. The same ceiling he had been looking since he arrived yesterday, thinking the same things, over and over. "I know you love me, and I love you, more than anything. But I also know that you would never invite me to a company dinner, you would never even acknowledge me in front of your coworkers, you would purposely hide me from your dad..."

"Merlin" Arthur said his name like a warning.

"Im not trying to be resentful Arthur" Merlin spat "they're just facts. Like the fact that you hate your job, and it makes you miserable. But you would never leave. Even if it's a shit job, at a horrible and inmoral company" he kept his tone neutral, he wanted to make a point "I would never ask you to leave, because a would never want to put you in a position where you would need to choose"

"Merlin" now his name sounded like a prayer, and a question.

"I think I always knew that I really never had a chance if you had to choose" suddenly his voice quivered.

"That's not..."

"Arthur please!" he really didn't want to hear empty promises, so he made a gesture for him to wait "I told you that yesterday was important, you knew that. And you choose him" he will not cry, no more "You ditched me, last minute. You left me alone even though I told you I Wanted you with me" his words bouncing on the walls.

"I didn't think..." Arthur was trembling a bit. And he looked like his world had been rocked and put upside-down.

"Arthur, you already have a life planed out. And you are the one that's choosing to keep it that way, you are going with the plan. And one day I will have to see how the papers and magazines cover the stories of you ascending to CEO of the world's most evil construction company, and marrying a young nice pretty girl, who is really boring and bratty but also insanely rich and has good connections, and have three beautiful very normal and healthy kids... all while I keep fighting with my little NGO to change the status quo that you reinforce. Don't you see that you don't have space for me in your future?" all the resolve to keep his cool abandoned him mid speech but at least he got it out. Arthur was looking at him like he had just told him that he only had a minute to live.

"I don't see a future without you Merlin" Arthur said, really softly, eyes shining with soon to be shed tears.

It hurt Merlin to hurt Arthur.

He never wanted to hurt Arthur.

Merlin brought up his legs and hugged his knees, hiding his face momentarily biting his lips hard, while blinking away the tears. "I love you Arthur, and I don't think I could leave you alone if I wanted to. But I think this relationship... it puts unfair expectations, for both of us" Merlin swallowed "It's not fair for me to expect something you are not ready, nor willing to give" he argued as calmly as he could. "I suppose we work better as friends"

He could see Arthur wanted to fight.

He also could see that Arthur had seen his point.

"What if...?" Arthur started, shaky. "What if I leave?" Merlin's brows furrowed confused. "My father, I mean. What If I leave him? What If I leave Pendragon Constructions? Everything... what if i..." he was starting to stammer and was not making sense. So Merlin took his hands.

"Why would you do that?" I was the genuine confusion in his expression that made Arthur sob.

"Because I love you Merlin!" he practically screamed with broken voice and desperate eyes. "please" begged silently.

"I think that if you do that. You'll resent me, eventually" he tried to reason while giving a reassuring squeeze to his hold "He is your father Arthur, you love him, and you want to make him proud, I understand that" even when he knew what it meant for himself "But you also are better than he could ever be" he assured "You won't ever lose me, I'll just need some space"

"I don't think I can do that" Arthur spoke carefully while caressing his hand "I don't know how to, I don't want to" he breathed trying to calm himself. "But I will try for you if you want me to" he swallowed "But don't misunderstand. I am not giving up on us. I won't" using his hold he pulled Merlin in for a hug. "I am sorry, I am sorry I disappointed you, I am sorry you felt like that, but above all I am sorry that you are right" he hugged him strongly and Merlin tried and failed nor to melt in his arms. "But this won't be the end Merlin, you are right for now. I will work, everyday, every moment to deserve you, to make you feel loved, to prove to you and to myself that I can become the man that you think I can be, and when that day arrives, Merlin I will sweep you off your feet" he talked those words like it was a threat, directly in his ear, while holding him close, so Merlin decided that just one last time, he would believe in him.

He would keep hoping.

[wolfiery]

— richard siken, detail of the woods

[the--short--one]

The long awaited Part 4 ;)

Here’s Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 (you don’t need to read them, but they provide some angsty context)

There you go! I fixed the hurt, and gave you all the fluffiest of comfort.

Sorry it took a while, I was trying to figure out kissing.

[that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction]

I need a fic where Merlin doesn’t know he’s Emrys and doesn’t know about his destiny, he’s just a good person who sees someone constantly almost dying and saves him because he can’t just sit and do nothing.

Kilgharrah doesn’t exist. Plot holes aside, the bitchy basement gecko can go to hell.

Anyway.

This all takes place during The Beginning of The End episode.

Mordred doesn’t call Merlin Emrys, he just cries out for help (and for his dad). Merlin steps in, the rest of the episode is the same but Merlin is determined to help the druid boy he found. Without crusty dinosaur harping on, he gets to choose the right thing for his own morals and critical thinking. Gaius is unsurprisingly resistant, so Merlin is being extremely careful, then Arthur finds him in Morgana’s chambers while he’s healing Mordred.

Let’s go with Morgana already knows about Merlin’s magic and he’s been helping her too against Gaius’ advice.

Arthur feels betrayed and is upset because Merlin can’t seem to give him a straight answer about anything. It’s all still new to him, but he’s learning that Merlin is good even if he doesn’t answer any of Arthur’s questions about magic or why he doesn’t use spells or anything like that. He’s angry but he can’t punish Merlin and free Mordred without being hypocritical, so he mostly sulks.

In all the perceived lies, Arthur snaps and instead of punishing him, he doesn’t let Merlin leave his side until he tells the truth.

So when Arthur takes Mordred back to the Druids, Merlin goes with him. Iseldir greets them as “Emrys and The Once and Future King” They’re both confused, but obviously Arthur is the future king so Arthur asks who Iseldir thought Merlin was.

Iseldir reveals their destiny that Merlin is the god of magic. Merlin is silent and Arthur is so confused and hurt about why Merlin didn’t trust him.

Iseldir answers all of Arthur’s questions about destiny and the prophecy while Merlin doesn’t say a word. He takes it to mean Merlin is ashamed or something similar about the truth coming out, meanwhile Merlin is grappling with the fact that he supposedly isn’t human. After days of Arthur picking on him for “lying” and all the unintentionally cruel jibes, when Iseldir tries to say Merlin was blessed with his power and that it was something he should be grateful for.

Merlin breaks down in a Percy Jackson style “I’m not a god! There’s something wrong with me! I get that whatever I am isn’t supposed to happen, I know I’m a monster, believe me. I never even learned magic and every time I’ve tried to get rid of it, it’s almost killed me! So don’t tell me that this is a blessing, that this curse is something I should be happy about because it’s the reason I’ve spent every single day of my entire life terrified!” Then he stops for a second and the tears roll down his cheeks, “I’m sorry, but I’m not what you think I am. You need to find someone else to believe in.”

(Skip to the end for a happy ending, this is angsty. Warning for dark!Arthur and major character death)

Arthur thinks Merlin is lying and banishes him on the spot. Iseldir warns against it, but Merlin is just so tired so he doesn’t fight it. He’s left broken and believing he’s a monster, so be leaves to protect his friends.

Until a month or so later Arthur is on a hunt when he gets separated and lost, then injured by bandits. Merlin finds him, (he’s been sent off by the druids for failing this destiny he knew nothing about, in search of a solution but they’re not very forthcoming with information) and Merlin heals him. Then they get all the diamond of the day moments while Merlin is nursing Arthur back to health until he succumbs to infection.

Merlin gives his life for Arthur, knowing that he’ll be a good king. This leads Arthur to become really dark, he kills his father and takes over Camelot, welcoming magic but killing anyone with a different opinion. No one is safe, war breaks out and Camelot falls. When Arthur dies, young and during an uprising, he meets Merlin again in Avalon. Merlin doesn’t recognise Arthur with all he’s become, and Arthur is punished to watch all his people suffer with his old mind while watching Merlin continuously pushing him away because “he’s waiting for Arthur, he shouldn’t be alone when he gets here. He would’ve been a good king, he needs someone to take care of him now.” And it breaks Arthur’s heart to hear it every time.

That’s all I got so far, it could be that they’re both driven mad waiting, Arthur by watching his people and Merlin by waiting for a man he’s doomed to never recognise again. I’m not sure, I haven’t gotten that far.

Or for less angst, hurt/comfort where Arthur has to realise that Merlin is just as in the dark as he is, he really doesn’t know any of the questions Arthur had and he’s probably been looking for answers a lot longer. They work together to fix everything and while it’s difficult, Merlin still has issues with lying to protect his friends (intent/outcome issues) Arthur is too trusting still and they have to deal with Morgause and all the other threats but they overcome it together. Albion is united and they live happily ever after.

[eldritch-ambrosia]

you kiss me and it stops time

❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿

Merlin is frozen.

He’s stiff and warm and his hands are spread in the air and he thinks he’ll be stuck like this forever. Arthur’s lips are soft, though, and his hands are gentle against Merlin’s cheeks so there really were worse places to be stuck.

Arthur doesn’t seem to think so, leaning back before Merlin can gather his thoughts–and lips– to respond, still cradling his face. He goes to pull away but Merlin finds it in himself to reach out, grasping at Arthur’s wrists to keep him close.

The prince swallows, his lips parted and beautiful, searching Merlin’s face with his crystal clear eyes.

“Merlin… I’m…” He pauses, his brow crinkling. “Do you hear that?”

For a moment, he thinks Arthur can hear his heartbeat, echoing through his ears and through the stables. He can’t hear anything but the rapid beating in his chest and the heavy breaths that pass between them, the world silent around them.

Silent.

Merlin blinks, Arthur stepping back toward the door to the stables, leaning his head out. The servant follows, still holding onto one of his wrists, and gazes out to the castle grounds.

The sun shines brightly overhead across all of Camelot and, at a glance, seems completely ordinary. However, the knights across the field are stopped completely in their long strides, one of the riding horses’ head is turned, its mane circling its muzzle suspended in the air, and one of the servants’ hands are outstretched, a pot of water spilling over but not flowing in the slightest.

Camelot is frozen, trapped in time.

His heart drops, nails digging into Arthur’s wrist, the aura of magic surrounding them familiar. An extension of his own magic, gripping his chest, and a sickly feeling settles in his stomach.

“What…?” Arthur mutters, reaching for his blade, placing a hand on the hilt. “Who could’ve done this?”

His tone is accusatory and asked to the air, not expecting a response and Merlin’s eyes burn from tears. Squeezing them shut tight as he reaches out with his magic, with his very being, he begs anything that could hear to make it all okay. To make time move again and take them both back to that moment Arthur approached him in the stables.

He’s not ready.

❀✿❀✿❀✿❀✿

(psst you can read the rest of this on ao3 by clicking the link at the top!)