#hurt pride | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

candaru · 11 months

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no no. you don't get it. the reason I injure my blorbos until they can't walk is because that's the only way they'll ever let someone else carry them. the reason I curse them to be sick and feverish is so that they'll finally open up about their emotions while delirious. the reason I force them to overexert themselves to the point of exhaustion is so that when they pass out they can finally rest.

I'm doing this for their own good.

#angst #whump #writeblr #hurt/comfort #does anybody hear me. hello #it's about forcibly stripping a character of the pride that keeps them from letting themselves be human

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months

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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?

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corpsentry · 3 months

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pick your battles

#my art #my stuff #art #comic #original art #pride 2024 #pride month #trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr #i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe #so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles #this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat #my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc #i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14 #but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020 #from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember #and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery #and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far #and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community #that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean #that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else #so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes #about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves #you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you

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memopmiff · 1 month

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Enemies to Lovers

#azutara #kazula #azula #princess azula #atla azula #katara #atla katara #atla #avatar the last airbender #atla fanart #katara whoops azula #loves a gf who can humble her ass #her pride n ego a little hurt but she can't even care that much bc she's got a powerful gf <3

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ex0toxin · 3 months

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happy pride from everyones favorite boy besties!! 🏳️‍🌈💜

#i got possessed by this image and whacked it out in 6 hours. my head and hands hurt but my heart is so happy #im a trans josuke TRUTHER !!!!#also i think this is some of the best oku hair ive done?? i like making their hair look like oil spills bc of how much product they use LOL #oku lights up and josukes head just immediately turns into a fireball. the heat of passion etc #anyways happy pride i love gay people #josuyasu #josuke higashikata #okuyasu nijimura #jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo #jjba #my art #pride

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himemeiya · 3 months

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Woke Akio discovers the pride section at his local Target

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thesmokinpossum · 1 month

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#connie corleone #carmela corleone #the godfather #web weaving #this is...quite negative towards carmela i guess #so i just want to make it clear that i actually really love her as a character and i actually can understand how she became who she was #she was a woman born in the late 19th century raised not just in a patriarchal society but a CATHOLIC patriarchal society #who therefore grew up learning that she was primarly defined by her relationship to her husband and her capacity to be a 'good wife'#so i totally understand why she would take some type of sick pride in knowing that her husband never 'had' to hit her #but like...that entire part of the book was legit hard to read and Carmela was really not that much better than Vito there #so it's kinda hard for me not side eyed the shit out of her when she blame Connie for being a neglectful mom #like geez Carmela I wonder why your daugther might be struggling I'm sure it has nothing to do with anything you did or refused to do...#i'll say that she did end up being concerned for Connie and trying to help so she definitely deserves some points here #unlike Vito's dumbass who was just like 'it really hurts me to know that my daughter is being hit all the time but i can't do anything :('#'I'll tell her it's all her fault and that she deserves to be hit that will surely help somehow'#Vito really spent the entirety of this book being like 'nothing and I mean NOTHING matters more than blood (conditions very much applies)'#domestic violence mention

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hasello · 2 months

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Leosagi dynamic in short (at the start):

bonus for this

#fanart #tmnt #art #leosagi #hamato family #cousins au #leonardo hamato #usagi yuichi #ship dynamic #Usagi is a little stupid but he’s trying his best #Blue on the other hand is also stupid #💀💀#he’s confusing his heart aching for just his pride being hurt #they’re the dumb and the dumber #you decide who’s dumber lmao

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trans-ralsei · 3 months

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kita? at Pride? it's more likely than you think

#lgbtq #trans #lesbian #transblr #bocchiposting #bocchi the rock!#bocchi the rock #my feet still fucking hurt from being at Pride lmao

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krispyphan · 9 months

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Deadserious au due to summoning him, 15 yr old Danny meets up with Ra's and 8 yr old Damian. This displaces him in time though.

After showing off his immense power, Baby Damian immediately gets a fat crush on Danny, but when demanding professing his love Danny’s response is “until you grow taller then me brat”.

Danny afterwards leaves back to his time, immediately finding out that this change led to Danny being chased after by the Wayne’s youngest. And even worse the baby he met now towered over him despite still being older.

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chrissy-kaos · 2 months

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Why.. why does this always happen to me 😭

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 9 months

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Bare skin, bare feelings.

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #wei wuxian #blood #Imagine coming off as homophobic to your crush so bad he weaponizes a strip tease against you.#LWJ is just having a storm of bad emotions. His tummy hurt real bad and he was just trying to be brave about it!#WWX is just trying to be a good bro and heal his friendcrush. It worked but not for the reasons he thinks it did.#LWJ's shyness is also hilarious here considering they have bathed together before. Literally nothing there he hasn't seen before.#Granted it was a few years back and before he was left to stew in his feelings.#LWJ is more focused on his pride than being responsible and reasonable (getting is wounds treated).#His arc really is about accepting that he can't be perfect. That there is importance in being honest and vulnerable.#The tragedy is that he realizes this way too late.#Pride is the worst sin because it destroys your ability to protect anything other than the smallest crown in the world.#When everyone is gone and you are left alone - was it worth it to feel safe and protected from showing your flaws?#Control over oneself is in conflict with connection to others. You cannot pick both.#Hanguang-jun appears to us as a 'perfect guy' but the truth is that he is the version of LWJ who is done with *needing* that validation.#And this time - He can properly reach out to those he wants to be close with.

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radioactive-earthshine · 4 months

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I think ultimately if DC had Pride in the 90s we would have been given some of the most bold and compelling meaningful queer stories compared to today bc DC is a simpering coward about this. I love how we're in a time period where never before we have had such diversity, but the cost is hypersanitization doubled with feeling patronized at multiple turns.

I don't like feeling talked down to in any story, even more so in stories that are supposed to celebrate Pride.

#people being so hypercritical of queer stories definitely contributed to the state of being now #i did like many stories in this years pride keep in mind #this is just a blanket statement looking at the trend over the years #i can still see the positives even in a lot of the areas where i personally felt the bar was missed entirely #it's not all bad but yikes #that jon story still makes my head hurt not just from a pride standpoint but from a comic fan standpoint

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solarcircuits · 4 months

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I wonder how long gay Randy can out run the void’s slow approach

I give him 29 days :))

Happy pride month everyone

#I’m not too happy with the colours or composition tbh but it’s 3am and my eyes hurt #oh well #dialtown #randy jade #do I even include Oliver in the tags???#I guess so #oliver swift #pride month #my art

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shummthechumm · 4 months

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woaw...a surprise....

#mlp #mlp fim #twipie #my little pony #my little pony friendship is magic #pinkie pie #twilight sparkle #princess twilight sparkle #happy pride #my head hurts and im feeling demotivated but...but twipie....#shumm's art #mlp g4 #artists on tumblr #digital art #medibang paint #medibang paint pro #also feathery pinkie pie because i love the hc of her having pegasus blood thru g1 surprise hehe #that or just another pegasus ancestor lol #mlp redesigns

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