#i also have a fucking headache again but thats just life i guess

[devotedlystrangewizard]

never wanting to draw until you cant is the worst i hate it

[liquidstar]

and now for something stupid

[midnightwriter21]

jjk headcannons: gojo & nanami as boyfriends

characters: reader x satoru gojo, reader x kento nanami

warnings: language, mentions of death in gojo's (assassination attempts, gojo unaliving someone)

AN: yuji, megumi, and yuta version HERE

SATORU GOJO

lucky you!!! you go a boyfriend and a 6ft tall superhuman man child wrapped up into one person!!

now

everybody always hc's gojo as a guy thats wayyyyy over the top with PDA

BUT THEY ARE WRONG.

i mean cmon think abt it... since the day he was born, gojo has been the target of assassinations, kidnappings, etc.

and in his eyes being affectionate with you in public where literally anyone can see you…

is basically putting a giant target on your back.

ofc the people closest to him know that you’re together and he’s not afraid to be affectionate in front of them

like his students, principal yaga, nanami, shoko, etc.

in fact if its just these people around y'all you can bet that he's most likely making them sick from how he clings to you

but it’s rare that you and gojo can have a day out together in public like a regular couple

he’s just being overprotective that’s all

speaking of him being overprotective

i dare somebody to threaten you or make you upset lmfao

gojo won't stand for it

the person that makes that mistake mysteriously disappears

and at the end of the day gojo's coming home to you with bloodstains on his shirt

don't question it cause he's not gonna tell you anyways

we all know gojo is a clown fr

but around you? lol multiply his usual goofy behavior by 100

he loves hearing you laugh

even if its at him

introduces you to his students as soon as y'all are officially dating

his students are some of the most important people in his life

and now you are too

his students adore you of course

but they also question how you can put up with gojo's annoying ass all the time (especially megumi lol)

idk i just love bf gojo

KENTO NANAMI

god he's so fine

did somebody say best bf on the planet? cause that's what nanami is

nanami isn't gonna be over the top w the PDA

but he will show you affection in public in small ways

a hand on the small of your back to softly guide you when your walking together

holding you by your waist

holding your hand

and if you're seeing him off on a mission?

he's giving you a chaste kiss on the cheek with a promise of "ill be home before dinner."

and when he does get home he hits you with the "honey, im home!"

FUCK i want him so bad

now nanami is protective too

not a day goes by that he's not scolding you for leaving your front door unlocked, not locking your car, etc.

he just doesn't want something to happen to you when he's not around to protect you

again, nanami doesn't flaunt your relationship around. but everybody knows y'all are together

except one person lmfao

guess who it is

correct!! it's gojo LOLLLLL

he's not hiding your relationship from gojo or anything

nanami just knows when gojo finds out y'all are together that he's gonna end up with a headache

doesn't wanna deal with gojo's teasing

nanami takes you out on dates as often as his job allows

and he's the perfect gentleman ofc

opening doors for you

picking up the bill

bringing you flowers

nanami. knows. the sidewalk. rule.

i love him

[kiarakarlisse]

It’s been about two weeks since I’ve talked to Noelle. I’ve texted, and called her but no answer. I even went to her apartment to check in on her. I know what we did was wrong and her ending her engagement to Carter has affected her. I didn’t think it would this much, but I have to look at her perspective. She did love him even if she loved me too. So she’s grieving her relationship and needs time. I’m willing to give her that but I hate that she’s not communicating with me. This was one of our issues the first time around. She holds all her feelings in.

But as the CEO of Hayes Magazine, I can’t just be in my feelings and not go to work. So I headed in to work Monday morning. I ended up working late. It seems like it’s the only thing I can do to keep my mind off her. The later it got the more I got in my head. So I decided to have a drink, but I couldn’t drink alone. So I called my assistant in. I know it’s not a good idea but…

Nick: Hey Sarai can you come in my office for a moment?

Sarai: Yes, sir.

Nick: Hey I know it’s getting late. I want to thank you for staying. I really appreciate it.

Sarai: No Problem sir

The way she keeps addressing me as sir is doing something to me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a bit inebriated or if I just miss Elle. But damn she looks good.

Nick: Hey why so formal? Rai it’s just us left in the office. Would you like a drink?

Sarai: Well I don’t want to cross anymore lines. We’ve been off for a while now after what happened last time.

Nick: We’re adults here. We don’t have to do anything at all. I just wanted some company while I finish up some work.

Nick: I’ll ask again. Would you like a drink?

Sarai: No I’m okay, we can just talk.

Fast forward a couple of hours and a few more drinks. We needed up at her apartment. I had just wanted to make sure she got home. But then she invited me in and I’m not in the right mind. We leaned in for a kiss we knew would just be a kiss. We’ve been here before. More than just kissing. For some reason Sarai knows how to get me out of my head. No one else has ever done that but my Elle. I guess she resembles her a bit and kind of has her beautiful laugh. God I miss her.

We stumble into her bedroom where she starts to get all shy. Like we’ve never done this before. She was the only casual ongoing relationship I’ve had since Noelle and Penny.

Nick: Rai why so shy all of a sudden? (teasing)

Sarai: We ended this because of her. I don’t want this to be like last time. It’s more than just sex for me.

Nick: Babe, we’re not talking about her right now. It’s just you and me.

Sarai: That’s not really reassuring (sighs)

Nick: Look at me. It’s you and me tonight. No one else. Okay.

Sarai: Okay

What am I talking about??? Why did I just say that? Everything is about her. It’s always about her. Am I drunk? Have a reached my limit? I just miss her so much but I also want this right now just for a moment to feel something. Anything. And she’s here. Sarai is always here.

Her body on mine feels so right yet so wrong. She’s perfect in every way, beautiful, intelligent, talented. She speaks her mind, knows what she wants and gets it. That’s why I hired her. She’s always on top of things but something is off. Maybe in another life I could love Sarai like I love my Elle. It would be so much easier.

Nick: Fuck Rai!! I can never get enough of you.

Sarai: Nick… Don’t stop!!

Nick: God I wish you were here!! (Growls)

Sarai: I am here. Right here with you. (Tears roll down her cheeks)

Knowing he means her. Noelle. His one and only. Why can’t I be enough for him? Why must I live a man that will never love me back

The next morning I had a pounding headache. How did I get home? Thats the only thing I couldn’t remember. Everything else I wish I could forget. How could I do that to Noelle? Shit how could I do that to Sarai, knowing her feelings for me haven’t changed. God!!! I’m such a fucking dick. I need to talk to Rai. Apologize to her. She doesn’t deserve this. I crossed a line once again and can’t go back. I really fucked up this time. Elle and I aren’t technically together but she won’t see it that way.

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[degrees-of-fuck]

Thinking about my OCs as DoL protags #2: Eden and Esmee Koizumi

im sorry for subjecting you to more of this but thats why read more exists i guess. I put these 2 together because. Y’know. Being deeply codependent twins, they can’t really Be separated outright. Each other coming up is kind of inevitable. Also as I mentioned before the actual Degrees of Lewdity character Eden is not going to come up here because it would be so fucking confusing to talk about that, as much as I think it would be interesting.

tw for quasi-incestuous bullshit. Like more than whatever Robin and Clara have going on. And also once again, LONG.

The twins were the minor child star children of some out of town rich folk, so when a servant arrived dropping off the two ten year olds all hush-hush and on the down low, it was... Strange. As far as the twins themselves know, this orphanage was just... Nearby. Exactly their god damn luck.

People were very curious about them at first, but on account of them both being really difficult to talk to in their own ways interest would eventually die down. Eden would likely have made constant vain attempts to make Bailey like them. Going around scolding the others for things they wouldn’t like, bringing (poorly made) coffee every morning, shit like that. Esmee on the other hand fucking hates Bailey and has made it her life mission to make their life more difficult in every way she can conceive of. She hates authority figures by default, but with how much she likely rifled through their stuff, she probably figured out exactly how bad they are pretty early on.

TF-wise, I’d say that Eden is a harpy angel and Esmee is a harpy fallen angel! They’re riddled with angelic imagery in any universe and they have simultaneously a songbird thing And a swan thing going on. So angels and birds are Key Koizumitwins Motifs that I cannot ignore.

They were both with the temple from a pretty young age. They’d probably know Sydney pretty well?? (I’ll go more into what a clusterfuck I’m picturing THAT as in a bit-) Eden would remain loyal to the temple, but Esmee - curious cat that she is would find some shady shit about them eventually. That paired with her dislike of being constrained in any way and how creepy some of the clergy members here are would lead to... Well, she wouldn’t stop showing up. She’d be too worried about Eden. But she’d stop paying attention and stop giving a shit. Minimum grace lol. She’s just sat next to Eden glaring viciously at anyone that approaches them.

I think Eden would end up in a similar boat to Robin, honestly. I can’t picture any way that Esmee would even be willing to let them pay their own rent in this hell town. She NEEDS to preserve that innocence she hates so much at all costs. So from the moment she turned 18, she was paying for two. Eden is technically the older twin and takes that seriously, so this serves as yet another instance of them failing to protect her. So they really fucking resent this arrangement, but not quite enough to change it.

Speaking of which, they probably wouldn’t talk to Robin much honestly. At the orphanage, the two would keep to themselves and not really befriend any of the other orphans. (Particularly with what an annoying little hardass Eden was as a kid lmao)

On top of them both being kind of childhood friends with Sydney, both would be drawn toward them for the same reason! Sydney reminds Eden of their idealized version of Esmee and reminds Esmee of Eden. So obviously they’d both have weird feelings for them. :) And also both would be maybe... A little too in favour of Sydney dying their hair black and maybe cutting it? A bit shorter? Maybe? Don’t look into it too much, you’ll get a headache. 😬 

Esmee finds Sydney FUCKING INFURIATING sometimes tbh. Like for the Exact reason she’s drawn to them, too. Of course she’s annoyed by them, they remind her of her sibling that she “hates.” She thinks that there’s no way they can survive in this world and is making a near constant concerted effort to corrupt them because of that. Which also? Removes a lot of the traits that remind her of Eden??? I guess it’s where she vents the part of her that wants to shatter Eden’s bubble of immaculate purity that stands in opposition to the larger part of her that wants to protect it.

Eden has a lot in common with Sydney tbh, so they can be Besties. The only reason Eden doesn’t sneak out of the orphanage to hang out with Sydney at the temple at night is that they know Esmee is out there, might see and would be seemingly unreasonably angry at them for going out alone at night (because she doesn’t want them to be jumped). Sometimes they manage to swallow their pride and ask her to go together, but not often. They’re the older twin, damn it! Why should they have to ask their little sister to protect them!? But they do want to do that, because they have really horrible insomnia. At least the two can bond over a chronic lack of sleep. They take naps together in the library <3 On the more negative side, Sydney reminds Eden of their idealized version of how Esmee used to be. Which sucks for Sydney. They may not be able to protect their actual sister, but they CAN try to protect Sydney! SO BASICALLY EDEN BECOMES A STALKER. (like twin like twin i guess) This. Might put a bit of a dampener on their friendship once Eden gets to that point,,,,,,,,,

Esmee’s actual love interest would probably be Kylar! She’s fully aware of how fucked they are, but she’s like. About equally fucked in a different direction, she thinks. If anything, she respects the Stalker Hustle lol. AND they have  really nice knife! She has lots of knives! Kylar check out her knives. These ones are throwing knives, but they’re really cute right? (Plus it’s. Nice to not be the one over-anxiously following someone around trying to keep them safe for once. And they’ll NEVER abandon her, unlike SOME people!) Although I think that actually getting involved with Kylar puts Esmee in A LOT OF DANGER! Because ESMEE FUCKS. If someone looks like they’ll make Eden worry about Esmee and need to keep close to her, she’s right into their pants. If someone looks like they’ll satisfy her self harming Thrill-seeker tendencies, she is into their pants. You get the picture. She is going to wreak absolute havoc on Kylar’s nerves, even if she Does put a stop to this if they get into a serious relationship just on account of being a massive flirt with a particular reputation. Good luck both of you : I

SO BASICALLY we have Kylar stalking Esmee who is stalking Eden (and about 12 other people) who is stalking Sydney! COOL.

In theory, Esmee would be a fun delinquent that would absolutely get in on whatever Whitney’s got going on. However. Whitney would bully Eden MERCILESSLY I imagine?? So Esmee wants Whitney in a hastily dug hole in the woods, with twenty knives in them. Sorry Whitney Likers. So I imagine that as far as Whitney’s concerned, Esmee’s in the same category as Kylar: Weird little creep that pulls knives on them in the cafeteria. She’s just slightly cooler on account of the whole Bad Girl 😎 thing.

Esmee gets around a lot, but I don’t think she’d prostitute herself. Not out of concern for her wellbeing or like Puritan Moral reasons tho. Just PURE UNADULTERATED SPITE toward Bailey for being so eager to whore her out. She mostly steals and blackmails. Well liked by Landry I’d imagine!

Avery took Esmee out on like two dates because she’s a pretty little thing that they know to be a talented musician that would make them look good, but her personality was too unbearable to them lol. After one violent encounter in a hotel room, they never went out together again as Avery moved onto Eden! Who is ALSO a pretty little thing they know to be a talented musician that would make them look good ! The key difference is that Eden is malleable. Truly, a much better companion than that sister of theirs that keeps popping their tires and phoning them in the night with threats and a voice changer. It’s a shame that they’re so, uh... Reserved, though. The furthest Avery’s managed to get them to go is nervous mouth stuff and it’s really starting to piss them off.

In terms of teachers, Eden is probably well-liked by most of them? (Though they mostly avoid Leighton.) Sirris probably likes them both on account of having been good friends with Sydney for so many years. Doren has likely noticed Esmee’s weird behaviour tho tbh. She’s told them a lot of weird shit that sure SOUNDS like she was raped, but she keeps insisting that she’s FINE, ACTUALLY. Very concerning. They keep telling her she can come to them whenever she needs to talk, but she keeps blowing them off :/ Esmee likes to swim at the lake and Mason’s is her favourite class, so she spends plenty of time annoying the shit out of them and trying to blow them off too.

As for Leighton,,,, Eden avoids them like the plague and cries a little whenever the threat of detention even comes up. Esmee often ends up taking their place, borrowing their uniform and re-styling her hair to look like them on the rare occasion they somehow get it. As for Esmee,,,, I think that while she hates Leighton, she probably features in their Home Movies and Photo Albums quite regularly. Better than Eden and in a sense, it feels kind of cathartic to her. Occasionally, Eden tries to return the favour in a moment of courage. They don’t exactly regret it? But they hate it SO SO MUCH. If they way Leighton treats them is frightening, the way Leighton treats Esmee is enough to give them a heart attack! Which is really all the more reason to take their sister’s place whenever they can do so sneakily enough that she won’t bully them into staying out of it. Thankfully, Leighton’s interest lies mostly in watching, but they still come out of every instance of this wanting to sob and throw up. Esmee can never know.

Esmee is probably on good terms with Darryl. Same feelings of frustration toward them as Sydney and Eden occasionally, but she feels a lot more guilty for those feelings in this instance. She appreciates having a place to work that doesn’t involve Briar and being whored out and breaking her Spite Pact. It’s a shame because she wants to fuck Briar. (Plus it’s like, safer or whatever. She doesn’t care about that part.) I think Esmee will tend toward defending them and then acting super aloof toward them for the rest of the night.

Every time Esmee disappears for a while under suspicious circumstances, Eden just completely retreats into themselves and refuses to leave their room <3 Or hers, more likely. Yea they probably just start sleeping there and lock themselves in.

Esmee seems like a fucked up little sewer rat treasure hunter sort to me lol. Depends on her mood at the time. This does unfortunately mean she has totally met Morgan. She.... Stayed with them for longer than she cares to admit. Being Charlene and staying with a parent that would never abandon you to the point of it being terrifying was something that held a certain appeal to her, even if it was fucking awful down there. She hates herself for it, but sometimes she goes back and gets caught on purpose. Just to pretend for a while.

Lol Eden somehow managed to win the math competition without drugs and everyone is perpetually baffled by how they pulled this off. (IT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T FUCKING SLEEP. They were really desperate to win both that and the science fair, it was finally a way to make money that they could do! They wanted to help their sister!!!)

Both of them met Avery basically simultaneously when Esmee was trying to help Eden up a tree with her weak ass 5′2 self. Avery helped them up, but was more drawn to Esmee initially, since she’s the more charming of the two.

[euphoricdr3ams]

as trash as it is. its something very releasing to vent to the internet about my problems than to just write in journal where i basically just feels like I'm talking to myself...

I've been talking to myself so much in my head that i want basically need to share with the outside people. But thats a double edge sword because people are tired and exhausted and have their own shit going on. And if they do have the emotional capacity to deal with me. Its a slippery slope. Like how real can i really be with you. if i say this one thing will i make you upset about something you repressed too.

But I also can't be on a constant zoom call with my therapist either soooooo to the internet I come with all of my problems. :)

I think what im gonna do right now while under the influence is unpack at least one statement via written format that my friends have been screaming at me for months. that if it could just instantly process in my mind what would it be.

She said "I wish you understood that you deserve better than what you think. You are worthy. And i wish you appreciate yourself as much as i appreciate you"

I may have messed up that up but that was the gist of it. Sooooo that was really sweet and honestly lets just start here and maybe we'll come to a realization by the end of this post.

Its kinda telling my first reaction was how i feel like ive been slacking in the friend department and how i wanna just rush and be done with all of this so i can be the bright and bubbly person i knew myself to be.

"I wish you understood that you deserve better than what you think."

I kinda just at here and stared at this statement for about 3 mins. Well on first notice. When i try to repeat that to myself it sounds like nice and definitely some stuff i said to hundreds of people in my life. Permeant and passing guest in this story. But repeating that phrase back to myself just sounds phony.

Like what is so interesting about me that assumes i deserve better. Like at the end of the day, we're all humans so why should i live with this air of what i assume is arrogance that I am immune to the trails of this life and that I who has had such a leg up in this world. Deserve more than someone else who there's no competition has had it way worse. So to everyone else yes to me no. Honestly thats BS. I should give myself the same grace and space as i do everyone else but its like when i try to reach for the empathy string for myself its as if we've run out of thread.

Like if life was a game. Which it is. Then, how can someone who came in with at least plus 2 fuck up so bad. Like at this point. I would just be somewhat happy to finish. Cuz trying to make some sort of rebound or comeback from that sounds impossible so why even try to let that idea sink in your head. So at this point. Just finishing is a leg up. Cuz even that is alot. And its kinda like how dare you like waste the efforts of the people who helped you get to this point. Like its a long history. Your ancestors and the people in your life right now so how could you fuck up. Like you should have been really paying attention when people are sharing their stories. You would have saved yourself so much headache. soooooooooo why should i dream about better. I know im stuck in a toxic thinking trap with that last blurb but like this isn't no healed chronicles. We're basically starting from the beginning and maybe we'll reach some healed state by the end.

I guess since my thoughts are basically below the earth crust. It's hard to imagine better than where i'm at right now. I paused tbh. I let the same song loop twice before really type again. I think theres something below the earth crust and thats about how dark my thoughts are. XD

its not funny. but its also hilarious at the same time. Yea my perception of myself so down. I felt the most full as a person and as a human being when i had my ex. Like i felt like i was better and i could do better and that i was worthy. And its not like he was really all that. Honestly he was a piece of shit. If the two people i have on here actually made it down this far. They could write a 100 page paper on how trash he was and how he doesn't deserve anything good ever again. But that level of anger i cant find it there for him fullly. Most of that resent is back at me for not smacking the dog shit out of him and leaving. He even suggested i do it. and i couldn't. I really loved that man and the thought of doing that even after all that is so bad. I wouldn't forgive myself. I wanna be able to do that but its not there cuz i dont deserve it. ughhh. Like all i can really feel is sorrow that i couldn't be all that he needed and thinking i failed him.

Im really pathetic.

I'm kinda really happy that i'm so lit right now cuz i would be having a whole meltdown.

Like the thought is that, at least he wanted to stay for a while. Most ppl just take an immediately leave. They dont even ask so i should be grateful.

Honestly I think thats part of the reason Why i was so happy regardless of the situation. Also doesn't help I have this song on loop. It about the listener be happy to die right now because they already found their person so they've already peaked. Its like a love song out of desperation instead of confirmation that the other person feels the same.

if i would have died during that relationship i would have said i went out happy. This was how i felt before all the fuckery started. I was so happy with my love and just him that i could have been just happy. He never was. He wanted more as he sucked all of that in the moment happiness i had and turned it into just a depressing mess. Turned it into someone who has so much anxious energy its ridiculous.

Out of the 2323232323233232323232232323232 *many* people i have had sex with at least he wanted to be here :) for a bit until he basically just lied about everything and took off his facade. Then i was tossed out like the trash. its coool i find a way to recover. Even if i have to just :). My way out of this. It's worked a bit up to this point. Why would it not work now...... right? I'm fine. I have no choice but to be.

I was gonna finish this but I'mma need a minute. Maybe that was ambitious of me. I feel a bit panic-y and dizzy so imma just chill for now. Till next time i guess

[outofcontexturi]

22nd sept 2022 journal 22:46pm

reba is mad at me. i dont why. i mean i do know why but like i dont get the energy she’s giving me. i dont know i dont think much of what i did as a big deal but everyone is different i guess. im currently listening to dreyamac on my own volition. i didnt think i’d like the song im listening to initially but fucking hell i do like it. it’s called Square Up. it’s a nice vibe. i need to sleep but i thought why not just journal some of my feelings. im nervous right now or at least anxious about something. it probably has something to do with the play that im currently doing and the existentialiality. im really deeping life. we all need a good friend we can count on. i dont know if its mercury retrograde thats got me fucked up but something does man. things feel weird right now. the people i love the most are testing me and i dont know why. its like life wants me to react not life but the forces or whatever idk man. im tryna keep a level head but niggas have me fucked up man. mercury retrograde is wild man. i wonder why this shit happens. im kinda glad that i meditate and have trust in myself and that i dont listen to every fucking thought in my head cause fucking hell man its like it never turns off in there. i have a headache. i might take a paracetamol.  having people you love upset with you is the worst. im proud im speaking my truth. im proud i trust me and my journey and that i love me. God loves me. I love me. its a scary journey to embark on cause you dont know the pay off but fucking hell the thrill is something aint it? the sheer spectacle if you dont make it is crazy. but even wilder if you do make it. this is the human experience for crying out loud you’re meant to do this shit. you’re meant to take risks for fuck sake. you’re meant to dare to dream big and dream wild. you’re meant to fail and you’re meant to keep trying cause thats what life is, the act of trying something and finding something(s) to live for and enjoying. and sometimes it meant to be for crying and anger and confusion.. even without names if they didnt have names theyd still be available emotions to us so its clear were meant to feel these things but we’re also meant to have the sense to realise feelings are fleeting; they come and go. and thats okay. i feel like im learning myself again. its interesting. hearing myself talk to inner me and its like so beautiful. im glad i have this confidence in myself. it’s been a hard road getting here but fuck it im here. sometimes i think the world or the people of the world have gone mad. 23:25pm. im listening to a law of attraction thingy rn. talking about how if things get worst before they get better. this life experience is quite hard. mercury retrograde is finishing me. i know im tired cause my head hurts. i dont know im listening to eminem but fuck it. rhyme or reason LP album from 2014 or something like that. reminds me of Josh being in france and me having the room to myself. thank you God for your undying love i swear man. you are so faithful to me. amen. this stormzy video is nuts. he really did his thing man. fucking hell man. what a guy. thank God its friday cause fuck man. im gonna have a good day and this headache will be gone by the morning and i’ll feel normal again haha. i’ll see you guys. sign out time: 00:06am 23rd sept fri 2022

[luciensbabbles]

OH YEAH AND here's me ranting/venting bc I remembered this blog existed FOR THAT REASON its a technically public online journal bay-beeeeeeeeeeeeeee

HENNYWAYS onto the point: so not this monday we just had, the one before, I collapsed at work right? Didn't fully faint, got the vasovagel syncope diagnosis anyway, got a confirmed #notaheartattack bloodwork and tests done which is bonzer but uhhhhhh still got fucked arse symptoms around. So I go see my gp bc this was the first appointment I could get since my other other gp moved southside so she could be near work which valid, but leaves me in a lurch. Anyways I see her and heavily condensing everything she's all "good news I think ur chest pain is just the fact you've been holding all stress ever in your shoulders so just stretch them bitches out and the muscle in the front of your chest should relax and then no more chest pain. Also imma get you an MRI then we'll see about a neurologist from there for ya family headaches history."

which is great and all. But the main unsaid and unspoken thing was "for the love of christ CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND STOP STRESSING SO MUCH UR 24 CALM *DOWN*" but you see I Simply Cannot Do That™ for I am the accursed combo of Eldest Child, Eldest AFAB/Female child, and ADHD As Fuck with Probable RSD™ so! as you can see! My ass! Is regularly mown and maintained grass! And I CANNOT be introspective to save my LIFE and no matter how hard I try to do it the hideous cave troll in my brain shys from it like a frightened horse and fucks off™ so I still. Cannot.

Not to put on a therapy hat that isn't mine to wear but my uneducated guess would be THAT right there is coping mechanisms from being diagnosed as the Weird Kid™ and Easy Target™ by other kids withing like. 5 fucking minutes of knowing me bc back then ADHD and ASD weren't really a thing applied to little white girls but these fucking kids clocked me with it faster than ANY professional ever has. Anyway, my brain I think basically decided early on that when it comes to emotions (or at least recognizing them)

so now I can't emote anything more complicated than being angry, short periods of laughter/amusement, and happy sometimes. Can't even cry because my body physically will not let me whoooooo also can't get in to see a psychologist bc all the waiting lists are full whooooooo.

anyway! I have a lot happening. Thats not even getting into the optometrist doing the Diagnostic Thing™ the other day where she was all. :) hey so :) how well can you see :) in your lower eyes? oh no big deal :) I just think you should go see this specialist again :) and actually follow up on results this time :) and not just :) let the adhd and related "i cant be a bother or else I will shatter™" get in the way :) ya know?:) anyway uh thats a glaucoma in ya eyeballs if you didn't know :) Oh we dont have the best machines for this sort of thing :) so definitely see her soon ok? :)))) and make sure they send hte results to us ok? ::::)))))))

if you've ever been in/witnessed/seen an accuarte tiktik recreation. In any kind of medical thing. You know what I mean.

anyway!!!!!! that me!!! how be youse?

[practicalmagicintuitions]

Here is the Chris Reading for the anons asking for it:

I’ve placed a whole bunch of things down for this one. You guys wanted general, so until I could hone in on something, I had to just test the waters on all things. (I’m not following him so I don’t know what’s going on at all) if you guys notice something in this reading that you think could be symbolism for something you actually know of in his life, let me know! :)

I was asked for General, how he feels about relationships, how he feels about marriage, career? And love life.

1. I put down Chris

2. Being in a relationship” second. BIAR Wanted to be in front of Chris, Chris also wanted it there

3. Career was confused where to go, Being in a relationship was in the way. Career decided it’s gonna jam itself between them. (Already this is super telling.)

4. Being Single - single was attached to career, it wanted to stay with career it wouldn’t move elsewhere

5. Family are right behind Chris, (good that’s where they should be. Doesn’t look like any animosity atm)

6. Strangely, marriage wanted to be in front of in a relationship……..? That’s gonna be a fun one to figure out.

7. “Having kids” is behind him, past family and on the left (it’s the furthest placement away so far”

Chris is staring ahead at Career, single, BIAR and single. They’re all in a line.

Chris is staring straight at career. I can’t feel anything from him besides the fact that this big brick wall called a career is in front of him. I see nothing past that. “Single” though, rather than seeming as big as career, seems to represent itself as a little flag thats just been pressed into the side of the brick wall, single isnt giving me any feeling either.

That being said, the career brick wall is not intimidating. It’s just more like he’s looking up at it like, “huh. Big guy” he has the need to climb over it.

Yeah, listen this wall is a wall but he’s not trying duck his head to the side and see past it, he just has the need to jump over this brick wall. The wall is maybe 7 foot tall, so in comparison to himself and how big he feels in this scenario (he feels his normal 6 foot self) he absolutely could. But it’s just interesting that what I’m seeing/feeling is a brick wall that’s like 5 foot in length and yet he has no desire to just bypass it and go to the side, he wants to climb the fucking thing?

Chris stans, tell me what the HELL that is about. You know him better than I. Does he like the competition or accomplishment? Does he feel he needs to prove himself the hard way?

Anyway, he’s pretty confident he can jump this wall. And single is not even a thing to him in its current position.

He’s thinking very hard about how to jump this wall. Like he knows how, you lift yourself up and jump over it I can see that image in my head very easy, but he’s struggling to actually DO it?

Nope, ok he doesn’t want to.

He knows he can jump it, he knows it’s blocking everything else, but I go to take an action for him and he’s like “nah I’m good tho”

Seems a fitting time to put in “anxiety.”

I laughed out loud when I had to place anxiety. Take a wild guess where it felt it needed to be?

You bet chya, it’s on the wall.

And then it couldn’t make up its mind. Officially I’ve placed it on the wall together with “single” and “career” but the energy for anxiety is actually that’s it’s jumping in front of the wall, to on the wall, to behind the wall and it keeps doing that. Just back and forth.

Makes total sense as to why he can’t cross this wall.

Now that anxiety is there he doesn’t want to look in its direction at all.

He’s gotten a bit warm and a bit of a headache too now, and a bit dizzy. The headache is real present.

The good news is in these situations where someone can’t move due to anxiety or otherwise, it’s always a good time to place supports, so the person can feel supported to do the thing they want and move forward. Luckily, his family are already placed behind him, they seem to really love him, so it’s just about me utilising that now.

This part I’m going to do more privately (as in I won’t type it) cause this would be a personal thing (maybe even generational thing) that he needs to move through with his family in order for them to feel that support. His anxiety didn’t come from nowhere. That being said I’m also not going to do a whole ass constellation with him cause 1. He’s not here and 2. It would take hours.

All I’ll say is his mum is a MASSIVE support for him, and also……. 😬 kinda swamping him a bit. He doesn’t mind it, it’s actually very comforted, but she truly is just physically in this reading SWAMPING him. An outsider could see that she’s maybe a bit too involved with his life.. which isn’t great for a fully grown man. But, he finds it comforting, what are ya gonna do. Clearly he doesn’t want it to end… :/

(For reading purposes So it’s not just jumping, I took about 5 minutes with him and his family to help move past anxiety, his family love the crap out of the guy it’s real cute.)

I thought this was important to note:

What Career feels in relation to CE:

Very big, bulky, serious. Reminds me a bit of Wilson Fisk from into the spider verse. Just very big, bulky, serious a bit of a bully. Not gonna move. You’re gonna do what I tell you. Restrictive. That kind of energy. It doesn’t HATE him, but it has rules. And Chris is gonna follow them. (That’s a threat) it also feels like within career is actually a powerful male that kinda owns his ass? Not sure who that could be, once again CE stans, gimme the tea.

For the next part I might… get in trouble. I know that when it comes to the talk of relationships no one likes to hear it. Don’t kill the messenger here you guys:

he has his back TURNED from “single”

I could encourage him to look everywhich other way for any other representative, but single? Back turned.

Doesn’t wanna look at it.

Single on the other hand is kinda looking at him like a little kid like :) hi Chris look pls. Chris! Pls :) Chris look at me Chris pls :) Chrissy! Take a look!

For whatever reason “single” in this reading is feeling very adolescent. Maybe he feels that being single isn’t a grown up thing to do anymore? (I forgot to mention, the things in the field take on the energy of the person it’s focused on, not necessarily how it is perceived by EVERYONE in the world, only how it’s perceived or how it acts in relation to the client. Single to ME might be a knight in shining armor that protects me, Single to Chris seems adolescent.

So, Chris is looking at both “marriage” and “being in a relationship” he’s not feeling particularly drawn towards either, but he is giving a lot more attention to “being in a relationship” than marriage.

Which is weird, cause if you don’t want single, yet you don’t want relationship, what do you want?

I have now brought in “situationship” “flirting w/ someone” and “fwb”

situationship is closest, but doesn’t have his full attention, as it’s to the left side of him at an Angle. FWB is just behind situationship but more aligned to be in front of his eyesight, and flirting with someone is on the right from him, at an angle and is the furthest of the three.

Ok, FWB feels the most comfortable for him, he actually took a step towards it. He’s not feeling super fond of any of the three in any way, but FWB is nice it’s comforting, he’s.. semi happy? It’s not even really happy… it’s just like “doing ok!This is ok! This is comfortable.”

He’s side eyeing the shit out of “situationship” though and is anxious at how close it is. He doesn’t actually want the situationship there, but it’s close now and it’s not moving, and he’s having a bit of anxiety about it. He can’t stop looking at it though. FWB is immediate comfort, situationship is SO ANXIETY INDUCING but it’s also more interesting to look at?

(Chris get therapy 🙄)

Flirting with someone is out of the picture, been there, done that doesn’t care about it. (Could be that he’s already gone through the flirting stage with someone that’s why it’s of no interest to him)

Now that he’s finding situationship more interesting, he’s looking past FWB and to “being in a relationship” which he also finds nicer to look at. The thought coming up is “that would be nice” but in a wistful way.

Marriage is still right out, we’re not looking at marriage.

I’m gonna move relationship closer to situationship to see if he feels better or worse.

Lmao ok, I put them both together and imagined situation ship and relationship being close, like they’re holding hands. In his mind, situationship is a cute little brunette that’s like 5’4 and “being in a relationship” is built like an Amazonian 6’5 goddess and he’s both in awe, yet intimidated a bit, but also not hating it, but the only thought that came up was “ahhhhh…. Fuck.”

Two thoughts came up but they both got crossed out before he could finish it.

“I don’t want-“

“I’m not ready……..-“

And now he just keeps hesitantly saying relationship over and over again but he’s saying it like he’s brand new to the word, like he’s trying to find the word for the word - yet he’s already speaking it??

And now it’s just a flatlining “😐 mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……”

Sat with this for a while and didn’t have much movement so time to move to:

Question time:

Q: Chris.. are you in a situationship?

I don’t know what I’m in

Q: Ok. Are you… sleeping with someone

Yeah

Q: Are you FWB?

He’s hesitant? Like he’s not sure. That word doesn’t seem to fit what he’s up to atm. He seems very confused about what he’s in.

Q: Are you going on dates with someone?

I’m going on dates

Q: With many people or just one?

Just…. One… (not sure why he was hesitant about telling me, but I feel like I’m starting to cross on something I’m not meant to talk about, so I’m ending it here. If he wants to keep it to himself, he is absolutely in his right to do so)

I will say when He said just one, a person did show up: brown hair, she’s shorter than him (but that’s obvious) and she’s slender and kinda perky. When I see her she looks like she’s fun! I saw her dancing around a bit. I liked her energy.

Sound like anyone you guys know?

Note: this is where I’ve ended it. Wasn’t gonna push on it he was getting more and more hesitant it’s not my place to push anything that he doesn’t want me to access. Now that we’ve created the focus though it will be easier to go from there :)

Hopefully that covered it for the anons that asked :) I’m over @energyanon to anyone that needs anything clarified.

Thank you for doing this @energyanon ! Your gift is amazing and thank you for your dedication!

[rint4rous]

hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER??? 

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

Allright, so after two days of terrible headache, one sleepless night, lots and lots of coffee, and constant tweeks of what I already had written, its time to continue with the story. Lets have some fun at the Aurora :)

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 8

We left the restauran and drove to Aurora. It was saturday night, but the bar wasnt that much filled with people yet. The Aurora was like most of the bars : booths wer on each side, tables towards the middle, but still leaving enough room for people to dance. The bar was on the opposite from the entrance with barstools arround it, a smaller stage and karaoke machine on the left, basement/storage entrance on the right, with big TV above it. Since Jessy's brother Phil was the owner of Aurora, we had a booth waitng for us. We settled at our booth, and i got up to get us drinks, since they refused to let me chip in for the dinner. Dan decided its still too early for whiskey, but emphasised that at some point in the evening we're having it. Jessy just groaned at that, and i chuckled going to the bar ordering us beers. As i was waitig, a guy appeared behind the bar „Put this on the house, Dave. Cant let her pay for her first drink here.“  As i turned ,he winked at me, setteling down a box with bottles on the counter. „Hello, Phil.“ I smiled at him „And thansk for the drinks.“ He extended his hand towards me, and i did the same. He took it, moved it towards his lips, giving me one of those cavalier kiss on it „Hello, Maya, nice to finaly meet you.“ I felt a little heat coming to my cheeks. Phil really was a charmer, as i was told, especially from Jessy, but i must admit he wasnt bad looking. He had a long brown hair, mostly worn in a tail. His eyes wer dark brown, and he was tall and muscaline. He was wearing a white shirt with the Aurora written on it, wich just made his tattoos more noticable. I was a sucker for tattoos. „Do all girls get such a charming 'hello' from you here?“ i asked teasingly. He grinned devilishly „Just the special ones.“ „I got warned about you, trying to sweet talk me.“ I grinned back.  „Can you blame me? I'm a sucker for a beautifull woman.“ I felt even more heat coming to my cheeks, and was greatfull the light wernt that bright, so noone would notice, especialy Phil. It felt good, being flirted like this, but i didnt want to give Phil any wrong ideas. I knew from Jessy that he was interested in me, and to be honest, if Jake was out of the picture, it might be different. „Thanks for the compliment! But, i have to warn you, i might not be a good choice.“ I said, making a serious face, leaning a bit closer towards him over the bar, wich made him do the same. „I was told i was reckles and out of control, kinda hard to handle, stressing people too much.“ He looked at me, that devilish spark in his eyes intensifieing „Well, Maya, maybe you just havent met your match..yet.“ „Maybe.“ I replied, leaning back, smile forming at the corner of my mouth. We just stared at eachother like that for a while, Phils gaze intensifing with each moment. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, and i was really confused about it. What was happening here? Ok, Phil was good looking, but Jake was the one i was longing for. Wasnt he? „Well, as much as i'm enjoying talking to you, i better get those beers over to my friends.“ He glanced towards our booth „You just might need some more beer.“ I turned to see what was it that he refered to, and saw the whole gang showed up while we wer talking. Including Jake. I was glad to see him, i didnt really think this was a place he would feel comfortable being at, but i supposed Hannah made him come. I heard from Jessy they wer spending much time together, the three of them, wich wasnt to be unexpected. He was their halfbrother after all, they wanted to get to know eacother better. And Hannah made him stay at her appartment since he came to Duskwood.  And then i noticed Jake staring, but it wasnt me he was staring at, but Phil. Oh boy, i tought, can my life be simple for just one evening. I turned to Phil, sighing „I guess your right.“ I took the beers, slowely moving from the bar, walking backwards. „Oh, and i have a feeling i might need something stronger soon, so keep a glass close for me.“ I said skeptical, but Phil just grined and winked „I'll be right here with that glass ready.“

As i neared the booth, putting on my best smile, they all stood up cheering. I settled the beers on the table, Hannah embracing me in a tight hug, with Thomas grining behind her. „Its so good to finaly do this.“ She said. „Its good to see you , Hannah.“ I said, hugging her back. Hannah let go of me, and now it was Cleo's turn. „Dont you scare us like that anymore, you hear me!“ she scolded me before smiling „I promise.“ She let go of me, and they all sat back. I grabbe myself a chair from the table near us, since the booth was full now. As i sat down, i glanced at Jake. He smiled and nooded at me, and i smiled back. Lily was just siting there, barely sparing me a look. I tried not to take it too personal, from the begining she wasnt that much fond of me, and the feeling is mutual. „So, how are you feeling?“ Hannah asked me. „Oh, im much better, thanks for asking. Few more days and i'll be back to my old self.“ I told her, as a waiter, Dave , came to our booth, bringing five more beers. I turned towards the bar. Phil just winked at me, and continued about his business. I noticed Jake saw that also, his body tensing a bit. „Thats good to hear.“ Hannah siad, and Dan chimed in „I'll drink to that!“ raising his glass towards me. I got my glass and added cheerfuly to him „Me too!“ Now Lily finaly spoke „Good thing it ended as it did, we could all be drinking our sorrow instead.“ I tensed at her words, a bit of rage forming in me, but Hannah jumped in before i could say anything. „Lily, stop it. We are all aware of how things might ended, no need to emphasising it anymore.“ She sounded tired saying it, i got a feeling this wasnt the first time the two of them had a similar conversation. „Im sorry, Hannah“ Lily continued „but you know how i feel. Maya's actions could have terrible consequencess, and i dont see what is there to celebrate.“ „How about me being here, Lily? Is that good enough reason for you?“ Hannah asked, but Lily just sat there silently. I couldnt be quiet anymore. „Im sorry you feel that way Lily.“ I started. „I expected you to be more happy now that Hannah is back. Yes, i made some mistakes, i know. But we all do mistakes, Lily, you should know it all too well.“ She shot me such a angry look when i said it. It wasnt my intention to start a fight with her or anything, i knew all too well how badly all of it could have ended, but i was also tired of it being dragged out constantly. „My sister could have died!“ Lily basicly screamed, wich made few people arround us turn to see what was happening. „Lily, enough!“ Hannah started, but i really had enough, and my head started to hurt a bit now. „Your sister could have died eitherway, Lily“ i said basicly hissing at her „No matter what i might have or might have not done. At least i had the guts to act, and would do the same all over again if i had to, gladly. Luckily, things turned out for the better. You should be happy about it, and stop dwelling on the 'what if's'. If you cant do that, to just be happy you got your sister back, then for fuck sake i dont know what more to say to you.“ As i finished, you could feel the tension gathering around. „Sorry all, but i need something stronger to drink.“ I stood up going for the bar.

Phil came as i sat on one of the stools, rasing his eyebrow  „My, my, you wernt wrong about needing that drink. So, whats your poison?“ he asked me grining. „Oh, whatever you grab first, as long as it washes the bitternes out.“ I said, feeling that rage not setteling, and my head throbing some more. He grabbed two shot glasses, pouring both with whiskey. „Dont mind if i join you.“ He said, rising one of the glasses. I grinned, taking my glass knocking it at his „Its no fun drinking alone, anyway!“ „Bottoms up!“ he chimed, and we exed our gasses. „One more, please, the bitter taste is still not washed completly.“  „Comming right up!“ he said cheerfuly, filled both again, and we drank those too. Someone patted me on my shoulder, and i turned to see Dan standing next to me. „Aww, Maya, you started without me.“ He said, being dramatic and acting hurt. „Aww, sorry Dan“ i said making a sad face „You cant really blame me, after all that just happened back there.“ „Point taken“ he said, sitting next to me. I turned towards the booth. Jessy, Cleo, Thomas and Hannah wer still there. I could see they didnt seem much affected by any of what just happened. But Lily was gone. And so was Jake. Great, i tought. The night began so nicely, i guess it was too good to last. „Well, Dan, feel free to join us now. The more, the merrier.“ I turned to Phil. „Barkeep, antoher glass for my 'nonjudgemental' friend here, please.“ Phil grinned, taking one more glass and filling them all again „The lady commands, the lady gets!“ Now the three of us chinned our glasses, and drank up. „Phil, i think you and I will be very good friends.“ I started „Since i assume you are not theirs most likable person of all time.“ i waved my hand towards the booth. „And i suppose as of now, i might join that club, too.“ Phil looked at me, a bit sirious  „I told you once before, Maya. Everyone gets the exactly right ammount of respect from me as deserved. I dont bother with the tought if im 'likable' to someone or not. You dont mess with me, and i dont mess with you, its simple as that.“ „Amen to that!“ It was Dan, and both Phil and me looked at him, not really expecting it. I started laughing so hard „Oh, Dan, thanks, i needed this.“ „What?“ Dan looked at me, question marks written all over his face. Phil just shook his head, lowering it down, hiding himself smiling too, filling our glasses again, and drinking his up. „If you two would excuse me, i actually have some work to do.“ He winked at me as he left. „Be careful Maya, Phil is a player.“ Dan told me a bit serious. „Dont worry, Dan, i'm a big girl, i can take care of myself. So, tell me, how much am i hated at the moment amongst the others?“ i asked him. „Dont worry, Maya, nobody hates you, trust me. But you gotta understand Lily. She really was scared for Hannah, and she tought she was doing her best.“ He paused for a while before adding  „Just like you did.“ I looked at Dan, and tought 'shit, he has a point there'. „Ah, crap, Dan, why you have to be so 'smartypants' all of a sudden?!“ He chuckled at me „Look, both of you did what you did, and it ended how it did. Even if you dont see it, you both expected the same result. Just your ways of trying to acomplish it wer totaly different. And thats where all hell broke loose.“ I knew Dan was right, but i tought Lily would be at least a bit happier for having Hannah back, and not to be all bitchy about it, clinging so tightly on all the things that could go wrong. „All right, enough with this serious talk. I tought we came here to drink.“ I started, but added quickly so Dan dont feel me being ungrateful „But, thanks Dan. I understand what you wanted to say to me. I will keep it in mind,  for the next time.“ Dan smiled and noded at me. I took a sip of my whiskey, when there was another tap on my shoulder. It was Hannah „Hey, just wanted to say we're leaving. It was really nice seeing you, we should definatly do this again.“ She said, adding „When things cool down a bit.“ She gave me an appologetic look, „Yeah, definatly! And it was really nice seeing you two, Hannah.“ She hugged me „And dont take Lily by the heart, please. I know she can overreact sometimes, but she means well.“ „Dont worry, Hannah,  i understand, its all good. Hope i wasnt too forward myself.“ Now i looked at her appologeticly. „Everything is good.“ She smiled „Take care, Maya, see you later.“ „Laters you two.“ I waved at Hannah and Thomas as they left. Cleao and Jessy joined us at the bar. „Uhh, that was fun.“ Cleo said. „Indeed. Not really my definition of a 'fun night' i expected.“ „Dont worry, Maya. Lily is just a hard person sometimes, a bit overprotective, too. She will calm down, eventualy.“ Cleo told me, to wich I replied a bit skeptical „ So everyone tells me.“ Phil came to us, taking two new glasses „C'mon you sad lot, enough with it. I tought we wer celebrating a 'new girl in town'!“ he said cheerfuly, winking at me, filling all the glasses up, handing one for Jessy and Cleo. Jessy groaned at it, scolding Phil „Ohh, dont encourage this two, Phil“ she said, pointing at Dan and me „I'm the one who will have to endure them for the rest of our evening, with all that whiskey in them. And we all know Dan and whiskey doesnt end well.“ „Hey babe, dont be like that!“ Dan said to her, in that dramatical and hurt way he does, making Cleo and me laugh. „See, it already started.“ Jessy said, leaning her elbovs on the bar, sighing sadly, now she trying to be dramatic. „Awwww babe, i promise i'll behave.“ Dan said, pecking her on the cheek. „You better behave..remember, im the one you're going home with.“ She told him, giving him one of her serious looks. Phil was just taking a sip of his drink, and hearing Jessy say it laughed so hard that he spat his drink out. Cleo and me laughed with him, but Dan looked at Jessy all pale„Yes, ma'am!“. I took my glass, raising it „Last one? Then we get beer again.“ Jessy looked at me „Deal!“, the rest of them taking their glasses and we drank. „That's it for me“ Cleo said „I'll be going now. Have to be early at the Gates of Hope tomorrow. And you all know how my mother can be if its not her way.“ She said shuddering a bit at it. „Ohh, we dont want to get Miranda cross at you, or any of us.“ Jessy said, giving Cleo a look of symphaty. Cleo hugged me „It was nice seeing you, Maya. We should definatly do this again, soon. And i promise i wont leave so early next time.“ „No worrys, Cleo, thanks for coming anyway.“ I said, smiling back at her. She waved us goodby and left. We ordered some beer then, as i promised Jessy no more whiskey. „Sorry, Maya, i really didnt think this will go so badly.“ Jessy looked at me appologeticaly. „Oh, dont sweat it, Jessy“ i grinned at her „Im having more fun with just the two of you, anyway.“ She grinned back, when Phil looked at me, making a sad face, mimicing Dan's hurt gesture „Awww, and what about me, i dont belong in this 'fun club'?“ I looked at him and winked „We have our special 'secret club', remember?“ That made Jessy switch her look from Phil too me, all puzzled, but Phil just grined devilishly at me, winking „We sure do.“ Jessy turned to Phil now, making a serious face, waving her finger at him „Phil, you better behave! Maya is not a 'toy' to play with and throw away after it.“ I jumped in, before Phil could say anything „Oh, dont worry, Jessy. Phil was nothing but a gentelmen towards me.“ Phil grined at her, makeing an aureola sign above his head with his hands, sugesting him being an angel. Jessy just snorted „Yeah, yeah, more like a 'devil in disguise'.“ „Im not sure who's the 'devil in disguise' here actualy.“ Phil said looking at me intensely, my cheeks flushing again.

[dukeofonions]

hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.

so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig

next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on

god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq

also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy 😎 bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.

and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want 🍄

You’re always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do. 

So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that you’re not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, you’re not alone. 

And again, you’re not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You don’t have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, I’m kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.

Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing... 

Oh my gosh I’ve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because you’re absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. “If you’re don’t have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess you’re a bad person.” Maybe that actually wasn’t their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe I’ll go into it a little more in another post because now that I’ve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more. 

Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, it’s one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD that’s for sure. The problem with this episode isn’t the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And I’ve basically gone over this in my “Problem With Asides” post and how it affects both Roman and Virgil’s current arcs so I won’t go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this. 

Also don’t worry about cluttering up my inbox. It’s here for people to share their thoughts and that’s exactly what you’re doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon! 

[powerosewaterpuff]

yk so i was watching bmw (boy meets world :) ) while procrastinating an essay so oF COURSE i decided to write some more of my reverse robin au (that pertains to jason being the oldest of the batkids w/ him and dick growing up together) except fLUFF bc i cannot handle angst rn (oR cOulD I wE wiLL nEvER kNoWwwW)

oh and disclaimer there may be several medical inaccuracies so please feel free to correct me :)

jason often gets night terrors, ones that can get particularly awful when bruce goes on an overnight business trip. so one night bruce is in new york after being forced into it by lucius, with dick being adopted for some time now. dick was awake because he was having trouble sleeping, for no real particular reason in all honesty. he heard a short yell though, coming from the room next to him and he dashed over, tripping over his blanket and still gripping zitka tightly. he knew that he wasn’t supposed to fight yet, but he doesn’t really think about that as he yanked jason’s door open.

he then saw his brother laying on his side, turning back and forth, breathing heavily looking so visibly pained it was hurting dick. he rushed over to jason, his eyes darting around because he just didn’t know what to do. taking his chances he tapped jason’s shoulder gently, and he already felt like it wasn’t the right move but he sucked it up and tried again, only this time to some result. jason shot up, gripping on tightly to dick’s arm, his eyes hazy and unfocused and his chest heaving.

dick remained still, only slowly trying to push jason off of him and back into his bed. jason’s grip didn’t let but he laid back in bed, squeezing his eyes tightly as if he was trying to push away everything he had just witnessed. dick took this as an initiative to gently climb into bed, as jason fell back into a less violent but equally as stressful sleep. he placed zitka next to jason, who still hasn’t let go of his arm, and awkwardly sat up in bed, almost acting as a protector. slowly, dick began to doze off, feeling a lot more comforted in his brothers prescence then he had been in his own room.

jason on the other hand, doesn’t remember much of that night, as he rarely fully remembers any of his night terrors (only the scars they leave behind), but when he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn with a few fragments of something he would prefer not to remember, he puts it together rather quickly. he guessed it would happen, and he could’ve told bruce and he knew the guy would drop anything in a heartbeat, but that pissed him off, more so then it justifiably should. he wasn’t a child and he hadn’t been a child for a long fucking time, and it was stupid that he couldn’t deal with a single night without bruce. jason then turned onto his side, disgruntled with a new found rage directed at himself that he might take out on someone else, when he found dick, sleeping at an awkward position.

he was leaning on the headboard, but was slumped down and drooling a bit, which would have been hilarious blackmail material on any other given day. but today, jason felt a pit in his stomach. the only rational thought that his mind could conjure in its fear muddled frenzy was please tell me i didn’t hurt dick, pleasepleasepleaseplease. he quickly checked over dick’s face, cupping his checks and looking for any signs of a bruise. he had given bruce a particularly nasty one earlier in his tenure at the manor, after bruce attempted to restrain him while he was having a night terror so he could avoid hurting himself, instead jason kicked him in the jaw. he even felt bad about it the next day, which was an odd surprise for him at the time.

after checking over dick hasilty, he could see he wasn’t all that hurt, even though if he looked hard enough he could see inklings of nail shaped markings in dick’s right arm just under his shirt sleeve. jason felt a bit of bile rising up, as he gently shifted dick into a better sleeping position, and pulled the blanket up to his chin and slipped a pillow underneath him. dick opened his bleary eyes, mumbling jason’s name in question, and squinting his eyes. jason rolled his eyes but nodded, “yeah, it’s me. now sleep–why’re you shaking yer head? you don’ wanna sleep? too bad.” jason pressed another pillow onto the side of dicks face in a teasing attempt to smother him to sleep, but dick only proceeded to giggle, and snuggle closer to jason, who had sat up already. jason tossed the pillow to the side after a few seconds of play fighting, dick was going to be too sleepy to remember this break in the ‘teasing older brother’ façade. so, he ran his hand through his little brothers hair and laid back down, tracing soft circles into dick’s scalp absentmindedly. and feeling a rush of gratitude that bruce had brought this little circus boy into his life. he really didn’t know what he would do without his little brother. (needless to say, dick became a constant comforter in jason’s night terrors).

jason blames dick for everything. if a vase got knocked over, it was a dick. if the tv wasn’t working, dick had been playing with the satellite. if his phone was missing, dick stole it to play games. if his sweater had a stain, you better bet it was dick. the boy in question, of course, adamantly denies these facts and does have a way of persuading bruce (he is the golden child after all, jason could testify to that), but bruce also knows both of his boys are annoyingly good liars. so every incident is treated like a little miniature crime scene, and it never fails to make jason howl in laughter at dick explaining how he couldn’t have possibly used up jason’s shampoo because he has his own washroom with his own shampoo and so w h y jason w h y would i steal your shampoo. (jason’s usual response is a deadpanned ‘why wouldn’t you’, and that just gives bruce another headache as the two bicker on and on and on.)

the pair of them usually go biking together, and it’s usually quite tranquil to start. until dick makes a sly comment that jason’s old bones must be so tired from cycling, so why not take a break? jason snide reponse is how the fuck are you touching the pedals with your stubby ass legs. that’s really all it takes for them to delve into a full on biking race. it never really ends well, but the two always come out rolling in laughter so whose to complain.

dick thinks real housewives of beverly hills is better then new jersey, and jason is adamant that new jersey is superior in every shape and way. the two agree that atlanta is the absolute winner no matter what though.

jason is dick’s english tutor. and it’s safe to say that it’s an experience. dick already knew a fair amount of english growing up, his father had been a wonderful teacher but it wasn’t exactly up to gotham academy standards apparently (jason knew the feeling) and his accent was still quite prevalent to have him be considered an esl kid, so jason ended up being his tutor once dick started going to english class at school and after his time with an esl instructor. jason, who has an untapped passion for literature that not many can match, is absolutely dedicated to teaching dick, because fuck man this is genius! genius, dick! and dick isn’t exactly a fan, but he does secretly think jason should be a teacher, he’s better then any of the teachers he’s had that’s for sure (his father would’ve really loved jason too, that was also for sure). and dick is considering buying him a little briefcase with his little initials on it. ((it happens, and jason tries really really hard not to cry))

bruce is absolutely that parent that secretly takes pictures of every single moment possible. he isn’t a photographer, in any sense, but he likes to capture natural moments, and he has a series of pictures dedicated to the one trip him and the boys took to Barbados where he started this habit. he wasn’t and still isn’t a big fan of beaches, they’re hot, crowded and just too much for bruce to feel any kind of comfortable in. he remembers sitting under a floppy beach umbrella, feeling the knot in his chest sit heavily on his heart, fire ants scurrying across the underlining of his skin, burning under the side stares of those passing by. it wasn’t until he caught a glimpse of dick riding on jason’s little shoulders, as they trotted around waist deep in the clear ocean water, that the fist squeezing his heart like the rotten fruit it was began to ease. he glanced down at the camera that alfred had subtly slipped into their bag after dicks insistence, and lifted it up to fiddle with it slightly. then raised it up to take a swift picture. capturing jason mid laughter as he leaned back, in a joking attempt to shake dick off who was in the middle of a yelp but had entrenched his hands in jason’s mop of curly hair. it was hilarious imperfect, but bruce would not want it any other way. not at all.

(jason found it once. he saw the picture at the corner of his eye sitting by the keyboard of the ‘Batcomputer’ ((dick was so shitty with names, thank god he didn’t come up with flippy man as his code name )), and he hesitated for a moment before hastily grabbing it. examining it with an unexpected amount of gentleness, he rubbed his thumb against the glass above dick’s hands in his hair and felt something snake around his heart. slowly and methodically seeping into it until he felt like he couldn’t fucking breathe. then he heard damian trotting down the stairs as he explained the details of his anthropology class to dick who was hopping down behind him. jason shoves the picture back and grits his teeth together to ignore the sting that was absolutely not in his eyes)

aAAAND THATS ALL!! i’ve had these in my notes for a while so it’s relief to get them out there hehe so i really hope y’all enjoy ive legit been falling in love with this reverse au bC THERE IS SO MUCH POTENTIAL U G H IVE NEVER BEEN EXCITED TO WRITE SHIT UNTIL NOW SO Y A Y FOR INSPIRATION

Y A Y :)

[advena87]

Kaer Morhen shenanigans (but mostly Lambert’s) part 6

.

Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 and Daily Lambert

also Keira & Lambert’s love story, Aiden & Lambert’s love story and… this.

.

Lambert: I need an adult.

Eskel: You ARE an adult.

Geralt: Eskel now you have exaggerated.

***

Vesemir: I love you son.

Lambert: Unrealistic. Unbelievable. Lies. False.

***

Vesemir: Lambert! Don’t make me come over there and be a parent!

Lambert: FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING, HUH?!

Berengar: BUUURN!

***

Vesemir, a tired dad, trying to teach the next witcher generation: Okay, let’s try this one last time. Forest, corpses everywhere, Leshen attack. What do you do?

Geralt:

Eskel: …

Lambert: Call the witche-

Vesemir: YOU ARE THE WITCHERS!

*later*

Vesemir: *launches the witchers into Leshen’s forest*

Eskel: Vesemir, where is the rest of the guys?

Vesemir: I'll tell you where they're not... safe.

*in the forest*

Geralt, fighting with Leshen: Lambert, quick, think! What would Vesemir do in this situation?!

Imaginary Vesemir in Lambert’s head: *walks away* Bye, Lambert!

Lambert: I'm beginning to think I have issues.

Geralt: *fighting* Lambert, support!

Lambert: Well your hair looks terrific. Grey is a lovely color on you. And frankly, you're the only one on this team I can rely on.

Geralt: I meant hit him!!!

*after defeating Leshen*

Geralt: Luckily all that violence and gore had no disturbing side-effects on our decent childhoods-

Lambert: *quartering Leshen while drinking blood from it’s skull*

Geralt: ...

Lambert: I'm sorry, I have to do that every twelve minutes.

Vesemir: I’ve never felt such an odd mixture of pride and mortal terror.

***

Eskel: Hey, Lambert, how are things going with Vesemir?

Lambert: I dunno, lets see. HEY DAD, YOU WANT TO TRAIN WITH ME!?

Vesemir: *in the distance* FUCK OFF!

Lambert: Why are you acting like this? I’m your son!

Vesemir: Yeah and are you as disappointed as I am?

Eskel: Wow, you are just the Grand Central Station of disappointment for him, aren't you?”

Lambert: Yup. Thats me.

***

Vesemir: Lambert, if I die before you, I want you to lower me into my grave.

Lambert: Aw, da-

Vesemir: So you can let me down one last time.

Lambert:

Lambert: Eskel, do me a favour, if I die before him, cremate me and throw my ashes in Vesemir’s face.

***

Eskel: Don't you miss the vivid imagination of childhood?

Lambert: I never had one.

Berengar: An imagination or a childhood?

Lambert: ...

Geralt, mockingly: Oh, what, not gonna tell us your tragic backstory? I thought you loved to talk about that shit.

Lambert, completely deadpan: If I felt like talking about my childhood trauma, I'd go to therapy. Murder is way less emotionally taxing.

Eskel: ... I can't tell if your childhood was that fucked up, or you're just okay with killing people.

Lambert: It's less of an 'or' and more of a 'one lead to the other'.

***

Eskel: Lambert! Are you drinking again?

Lambert: Yep.

Eskel: You said no more alcohol!

Lambert: I said “no, more alcohol”.

Eskel: Do you live in your own little world?

Lambert: Yes. But unfortunately I have to share it with all of you.

***

Lambert, drunk as shit: Give me my sword!

Geralt, also drunk, handing him a plastic butter knife: Here you are, my liege.

Lambert: Thank you, peasant.

Lambert, pointing the knife at Eskel: SURRENDER OR FACE MY WRATH.

Eskel, late and sober: Are... Are you kidding? You’re joking right-

Geralt: DO NOT INSULT M’LORD.

***

Lambert: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

Berengar: You're a hazard to society.

Geralt: And a coward, do twenty!

Eskel, to Berengar: Have you ever just looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?

Berengar: Everytime I look at these two.

***

Geralt: Taco cat spelled backwards is still taco cat.

Eskel: I don’t know what to do with this information.

Lambert: Dog food lid spelled backwards is dildo of god.

Eskel: I don’t know what to do with this information either.

Berengar: Crack? Is that what you two smoke? Do you smoke crack?

***

Lambert: *does something selfless without making a joke of it and genuinely being nice*

Eskel: So you do have feelings after all?

Lambert: *shrugging* When I have the time.

***

Geralt: They call me coffee because I grind so fine.

Eskel: Oh my God.

Berengar: They call me coffee because I keep you up past 2 a.m.

Eskel: Stop.

Lambert: They call me coffee-

Eskel: Please don’t.

Lambert: -because I’m dark and bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of who I am.

Eskel: Oh.

Lambert: Sorry, thats just my train of thought.

Geralt: Or as we like to call it-

Berengar: The Anxiety Express. Don't worry, I have one of these too. I thought I was in a bad mood, but it’s been a few years now. So I guess this is just who I am now.

Eskel: Am I the only normal child here?

***

Berengar: Being a pessimist is great. I'm always either right or pleasantly surprised.

Eskel: That’s an awfully optimistic take on pessimism.

***

Lambert: Oh, are you *covers Eskel’s ears* kidding me?

Berengar: That... wasn’t a swear word.

Lambert: It’s not? *sighs* Ah, shit! I swear so much, I don’t even fucking know the difference anymore!

***

Berengar: At my age, do you know how I’m statistically most likely to die?

Geralt: At the hands of your brother?

Berengar: An accident.

Geralt: That’s how I’m going to make it look.

Berengar: You can’t kill me if I kill myself first.

Vesemir: WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT?!

Geralt: Actually, yours.

***

Geralt: Has anyone ever told you to keep your damn mouth shut?

Lambert: Everyone. All the time.

***

Lambert, drunk: Hold on! I’m having one of those things… a headache with pictures?

Berengar: What the fuck?

Eskel: He's having an idea.

***

Geralt: *Can’t find Lambert in a crowd* Shit, we lost him.

Eskel: This calls for drastic measures.

Eskel: VESEMIR IS A GREAT FATHER!

Lambert: WHAT?!?!!

Eskel: There he is.

*meanwhile*

Berengar: Excuse me. I lost my youngers brothers, in a crowd. Can I make an announcement?

Store Clerk: Of course.

Berengar: *leans into mic*

Berengar: Goodbye, you little shits.

*later*

Berengar: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Vesemir: Berengar, you lost all your brothers!

Berengar: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Vesemir: Prepare to feel really bad about yourself!

Berengar: Oh yeah? I’ve been prepared for that my whole life.

***

Vesemir: There will come a moment when you have the chance to do the right thing.

Berengar: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.

Vesemir: There are always lessons in failures...

Berengar: Ah, yes, this must be why you are very wise by now.

Vesemir: Yup, I have four of you.

***

Lambert: *throws open balcony doors at 6am*

Lambert: GOOD MORNING WORLD!

Berengar *from the lower balcony* Shut the fuck up!!!

Lambert: YOUR LITTLE RAY OF SARCASTIC SUNSHINE HAS ARRIVED!

Berengar: Lambert, let me ask you a question.

Lambert: Shoot.

Berengar: Is there any part of “shut the fuck up” that you don’t understand? 'Cause I’d be happy to explain it to you.

.

[inspiration2001]

A New Beginning: Chapter 1

Soulmate AU - Savannah is a 21 year old woman, after a family tragedy she moves to New Orleans to attend Tulane University for her 3rd year. She seems like a normal college girl, going to parties, many lovers, beautiful, kind, but what no one knows is that she is supernatural sexual fantasy. She has one large secret, while traveling to her new home she made a pit stop in Mystic Falls, and had the night of her life with the man whose aura was the brightest she had ever experienced. A month later, she walks through the streets of New Orleans experiencing the fun of her new home only to be abducted.

PROLOGUE

Savannah POV 

The last 6 months have been a whirlwind of events. After fleeing from my home state and quickly enrolling in Tulsa University for my 3rd year as a Psychology major, I am ready to look forward into the future. I am ready to meet new guys and have fun again. I am tired of being sad and crying all the time waiting for time to rewind and I can go back to happy times with my family, but life is unfair.

1 month ago, I made the decision to stop wallowing in on myself, and to get back into school. 1 month ago I had the best night of my life, I met a guy. No, I met a man named Nik. I went out to the bar ready to spend my night in another nameless man's bed drowning myself in the feelings to forget my emotions. Then this man came to me and introduced himself as Nik, and when our hands touched I felt sparks. 

My mama always used to tell me that when electricity shoots through you where a person touched, it means they are your soulmate, I wish I had remembered that, it would have made life much more understandable. 

After the sparks, came the drinks, and the smooth talking. Next thing I know is I am having the best sex of my life, and its like part of my soul opened up. I never wanted to tell my family what I had done for them, so they never knew I was a succubus. My mama’s stories of soulmates never made sense to me as a human, but when I awakened in this new life as a succubus I used to dream of finding my soulmate or soulmates. 

First the sparks, then the aches, and then the physical connection finishes the bond and once the bond is complete the two halves cannot be separated for long without there being extreme pain. Soulmates become each other's greatest weakness’ and their greatest strengths. 

Walking down Bourbon Street, I enter a bar called Rousseaus. As I sit down at the bar, I notice these girls in the kitchen immediately turn to look at me. I subtly sniff the air and smell the scent of witches. Hmm thats fun, I heard of the supernatural community being quite large in New Orleans it was one of the reasons I chose this place to be my new home. 

I sit down at the bar, ignoring the stares, and see this cute little blonde walking my way. 

“Hi, my name is Cami. What can I get for you today?” she says in a very friendly voice. 

“Hello darlin, rum and coke please” I say to Cami, who gets a small blush. 

“You ok? Your eyes hold a lot of darkness in them. Sorry, psych major, I tend to let my mouth do the talking before my mind does the thinking” Cami said with a small chuckle. 

“That’s alright darlin. I came to New Orleans to start over” I say with a smirk on my face, looking her right in the eyes I ask, “What school do you go to, darlin? I would love to visit you.” 

Cami lightly giggles and blushes while saying, “I am a psychology graduate student at Tulsa University” 

“Hmmm...well would you look at that. I happen to be a psychology undergraduate student” I lean forward and whisper into Cami’s ear, “maybe you can help me study” I wink and down the rest of my drink before getting up and walking out. 

As I wander down the street, letting the emotions of everyone surround me and envelop me. God I love places where people drink, so much sexual energy for me to feed off. Out of no where I get a strong aroma of cinnamon and sex from an alley ahead of me, it is like a large beacon telling me to go near it. Walking down the alley, I whip around ready to get a look at the intruder's aura before I can. I feel a rag pressed to my mouth and within seconds I feel myself being carried out of the alley before the darkness welcomes me. 

I wake up with the largest headache known to man. God, this is worse than when I was human and went on a camping trip with a few friends, and drank 2 bottles of tequila by myself. 

“Oh good, you’re awake,” 

“Who are you and why am I here?” I demand. 

“Sophie Devaraux, you are here because you carry special cargo that the witches of New Orleans need.” she says with a malice intent in her eyes. What the fuck is she talking about?  

“What the hell are you talking about?” I say with fury while staring her in the eyes.. 

“Before my sister died she had a special talent of knowing when a woman is pregnant,” Sophie said. 

Fuck. Sophie is hunched over and her eyes are a little bloodshot. If her sister is really dead, the way she is acting is as if she was her only family, meaning she has nothing to lose now. People who have nothing to lose are the most dangerous people, and if what she is saying is true, then I am even more fucked. I can’t believe I didn’t even notice, I guess that would make sense then why I haven’t felt any pain. I was almost 100% sure that Nik was my soulmate, until I woke up in the morning and realized he wasn’t there. I was so sad, I almost cried. The sex was amazing, he was an amazing talker and it seemed like we really connected, but when I woke up without him and left him a note with my number with no response, I just assumed it was a fluke. 

“What the hell are you saying right now? There is no way that I am pregnant, sorry but you have the wrong girl. Even if I was, why the hell is my baby so special?”

“No, you are definitely the right girl, there are only so many succubus’ in NOLA. My sister did not die for anything! You are also the only succubus to be impregnated by an original vampire,” she says with disdain. 

Fuck, fuck, FUCK!! I thought I saw something weird in his aura, but he said all the right things at the right time, and all the tingles were there. 

“Wonderful, now let me the fuck out of here now. I may be carrying an original baby, but you messed with the wrong girl,” I say with sarcasm and anger. As I look into Sophie’s eyes I try to let my aura do the work. If I can connect my aura with hers, then I can make her feel like she needs to protect me and help me, but for some reason I can’t seem to feel anything. I can see her aura, but I cannot seem to make hers connect with mine, in fact I can’t even feel what she or anyone around me feels. I haven’t noticed because I was so busy trying to figure out what the hell I am doing here. 

“What have you done to me?” I say trying to fake anger, but in reality I am very scared. I haven’t been this vulnerable since I was human, and there was a reason I sold my soul to be what I am today. 

“While my sister was doing the spell to make sure you were pregnant with the original hybrids baby, I did a spell that bound your powers, you are now average like the rest of the human population, and a little something else” Sophie says with malice and a smirk on her face. 

“What else?” I say with fury dripping into every one of my words. 

“What the fuck have you done to me, bitch?! I will kill you when this is over, my face will be the last one you see before the darkness takes over!” I yell at her. 

“Well before that can happen, our guest has arrived,” Sophie says with a sense of calmness, but I can see in her aura that she has a twinge of scaredness. 

Who the fuck is she talking about now? I swear to God, I am so done with this all. I found I am pregnant, I am not a full succubus anymore, and now I am trapped with the witches. God knows what else means to Sophie in terms of what she has done to me! Even though I just found out that I am pregnant, I cannot help but feel connected to the baby already. 

I rub my stomach while thinking this baby is the only positive thing that has happened to me tonight. I always dreamed of having a big family with my soulmate or soulmates. My dreams didn’t necessarily have this exact scenario, but oh well this baby will be taken care of that they will never have to go through what I did. As I continue to daydream about my baby and if I will ever be able to find Nik again, I am interrupted by a pair of witches. 

“Get up!” one of the henchmen demands. 

“Excuse you, I am not going anywhere,” I say with a hand on my stomach. 

Before I can say anything, I am grabbed by my upper arm, ripping my hand off my belly while being dragged out of whatever room they had me in. They take me to another area of whatever this place is, and I am confronted with a sight of a handsome man, oh dear not again. 

[diazpoems]

Me watching Riverdale S2:

THE WAY KEVIN IS RAISING HIS HAND TO THE MOTHERFUCKING SKY WHEN HIRAM ASKS FOR A VOLUNTEER FOR A WRESTLING DEMONSTRATION. THIS THIRSTY MOTHERFUCKER. HIS FACE IS PRICELESS.

I wish I could just jump into Riverdale and shake the characters and be like

Cheryl: Your parents fucking suck

Josie: Your parents fucking suck

Veronica: Your parents fucking suck

Betty: Your parents fucking suck

Archie: Your dads okay so far, I don’t know about your mom

Jughead: Your dad used to fucking suck but as a person, at his core, I don’t think he’s evil, and he’s getting better, but he’s got a ways to learn. I don’t know about your mom

Kevin: Your dad’s decent so far? Don’t know about your mom

Like especially Josie because I know it’s hard and that a lot of the trauma her mom felt probably manifested itself badly and Josie probably feels attached to her mom and like she owes her being a good daughter because her mom’s had it bad but like I also DON’T CARE. FUCKING TREAT YOUR CHILD RIGHT. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT WHAT HAPPENED. THATS YOUR CHILD. WOMAN UP AND BE A FUCKING DECENT PERSON. I DON’T CARE THAT YOU PUT A ROOF OVER HER HEAD, FOOD IN HER MOUTH, GAVE HER A SINGING CAREER (But continue to control it and not give her leeway to think and act on her own). SHE DON’T OWE YOU SHIT. FUCK OFF WITH YOUR WEIRD LIFE-FUCKING-SUCKED-FOR-ME-BUT-IM-ALSO-A-CLASSIST-BITCH PARADOX. MY DAD’S GOT IT MADE RIGHT NOW BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS ROOTS, HASN’T FORGOTTEN THE DISCRIMINATION HE FACED AND THE FACT THAT HE GREW UP SHIT POOR EARLY ON AND HE HASN’T DECIDED “Hey, let’s ridicule people for being in a similar position that I was in!”

Basically, this is me begging for for Josie’s mom to ✨fucking do better✨

Anyways yeah normalize Riverdale characters disowning their own parents ✌🏽🥰

Hmmm. If I wasn’t completely and utterly for the Serpents before, the white serpents learning to shut the fuck up and stand with Toni and her grandfather in opposition of the genocide and colonialism that was perpetrated by Cheryl’s great great grandfather? Hell fucking yeah

Dude I’m sorta crying at the scene with Hiram seeing Veronica in her confirmation dress because he’s a piece of shit but this is how it goes down, like it’s a whole thing

I love that I immediately knew the meaning of “Catholic chic”. Apparently that’s all going to church every Sunday for the formative years of my life accomplished

I hope Penelope Blossom dies in a fire :)

OH MY GOD, LOVE SIMON CAME OUT RIGHT AROUND HERE, KEVIN IS ASKING MOOSE TO IT, MY COMFORT MOVIE OH MY GOD-

Ugh, I don’t trust Midge. Something about the tropey-ness of her being The Girlfriend™️ and her face, as well as the fact that she played Gen in tatbilb, something doesn’t sit right. The haircut feels too manic pixie, like she’s hiding something. Bad vibes

NOOO CHERYL ILL GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU 😭 GOD IM SO GONE FOR HER

Aaaaand she did some fuck shit. Aaaand Toni is pretty. Aaaand there’s the internalized homophobia.

Jughead saying that growing up Betty’s and Archie’s windows being parallel always bothered him sounds more like a jarchie admission than a bughead one, I’m just sayin’

BETTY AND JUGHEAD’S REACTIONS WHEN THEY HEAR THE BED SQUEAKING IS ME. Like the little amused but lowkey confused and baffled expression on his face as he’s like “is that their solution to everything? Can’t they ever just talk?” Like no apparently not. Me too Jug, me too-

Idk Vee, maybe he’s asking questions about your father’s line of work and the business of his associates because your dad and mom are fucking evil

What the fuck Veronica. I mean yay because that just gets us closer to Jarchie kiss but like what the fuck Vee. Also Jughead is super cute, like why does the blue eyes black hair thing absolutely melt my weak heart, like I didn’t choose to fall for this pasty ass white boy but here we are. Also Veronica’s eyes are really big and dark and pretty like girl help im falling for these two-

BETTY LITERALLY POINTED IT OUT, C’MON NOW CW, I KNOW WE’VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GROVELING WITH SPN BUT PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU WE NEED A JARCHIE KISS-

CAN HETEROSEXUALS PLEASE STOP FUCKING ALL THE TIME ON TV. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO SHOVE YOUR STRAIGHTNESS IN MY FACE. NOT EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT YOU KNOW.

“Entertain Jughead” 😏

DUDE. They were sitting ALONE. TOGETHER. In the WOODS. With them being the ONLY ones who haven’t kissed. DUDE.

C’MON MAN, THEY’RE STARING FUCKING LONGINGLY AT EACH OTHER

If there are weird gay ships for straights then Jeronica is the weird straight ship for gays

Ok so is there a legitimate reason why Veronica is faithful to her parents and defends them to a tee and partakes in their mob shit or is she just daddy’s little fucking girl. Like it isn’t her fault that she’s been manipulated but it pisses me the fuck off. And people who want her to stay with her parents because supposedly they’re the only ones who love her even though it’s toxic and warped? Like do you have a brain?

Archie and Veronica really love supporting gentrification, classism, and Vee’s rich daddy and mommy’s innocence huh

Look i actually agree with Reggie for once, get Hiram’s ass, deal with it Veronica

Wow, nice, shaming Jug for eating. That’s cool, Arch. That’s awesome. And no Betty, she doesn’t have everybody’s vote. Because Veronica’s parents are motherfuckers and when it comes to choosing between a murderer/abuser/rich/classist/gentrifying fuck and supporting your bestie uwu guess which one im fucking picking. Also, THANK YOU JUG for explaining to your friend that even though he lives in a fantasy land where northside Riverdale is the only one worth referring to when talking about Riverdale at all and thus the only one that matters and is worth protecting, the southside exists and people live and have grown up in the southside and building a prison there where it will be even more easy to profile and incarcerate southside residents under false or exaggerated pretenses ISN’T A GOOD THING. That his own friend isn’t quite apart of his and Veronica’s and Betty’s socioeconomic caste and that he’s not going to pretend like he is, he isn’t going to be quiet about it just because you’re friends again. That he’s not going to lay down and let Archie explain what a good move for Riverdale is when he clearly means northside riverdale, let him explain how the southside needs to be dealt with to someone who grew up on the southside and knows it more (not the most, I’m not saying Jug isn’t out of his depth with certain aspects of being a full southsider) intricately than him. LIKE FUCK. ARCHIE. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO. Like he just doesn’t get why building prisons and stereotyping and condemning all southsiders and gentrifying entire neighborhoods is really fucking bad and a big deal and it annoys me so much. Like yeah Arch, obviously you don’t see the big deal because it doesn’t affect you and you delude yourself that it doesn’t affect your friend either, but it actually is that bad.

In conclusion, Archie and Veronica and sometimes Betty are giving me headaches rn. Like I’m not saying Jughead is perfect at all but in this particular instance he’s the only one I agree with for the most part right now.

Yeah Arch, you see things differently because you’re not the one who’s on the receiving end of the problem

YES MOMMA ANDREWS. SNAP! GO FERAL! SHOW THAT SOB SOME CONSEQUENCES!

Ah, so this is the jarchie “break-up” scene. You know what. I feel no heartbreak. Get his ass Jug.

Get. His. Ass.

They sent Cheryl to a conversion institution. I’m literally crying. This isn’t an exaggeration. I feel like I want to cry. Just. God fucking damn it.

SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GET BETTER. SHE’S NOT SICK. YOU ARE. DIE. FUCKING DIE. BURN IN HELL. AND PENELOPE BLOSSOM TOO.

“That’s not how things go in Riverdale” is a veiled way of saying “don’t challenge the upper class and don’t try to stifle gentrification,” I hope you all know