#i didn’t mean to put thay i’m sorry

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Scared

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 1K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: ANGST, big feels, hurt comfort, possession?, hurling insults at each other, Astarion being a little scary, fluff ending

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“How could you!” Astarion shouted.

“How could I? It’s a book Astarion, it's not that deep.” you said, rolling your eyes at him. “Knowledge is for all, not just you.” you snapped at him. 

“I’m not upset you read it, I’m upset you took it from me without asking.” he corrected you in a harsh tone. 

“I didn’t think it was a problem, you told me I could borrow books…” you looked at him with confusion.

“Not that one! The Necromancy of Thay is not just some book.” he looked at you with disbelief. How could you be so naive and reckless? 

“I’m a fucking cleric Astarion! Magic is kinda my whole purpose!” your dedication to Kelemvor was unquestionable and he was debating you about this? This book that could grant you a gift that Kelemvor had not? Speaking to the dead would be a godsend as clergy for the god of the dead, traveling across Faerun to gods know where. 

“Do you understand the danger of that book? No, you don’t, because you're a petulant child who steals others toys when they can’t have them. All you do is take!” he yelled.

You froze. That was a real insult. This wasn’t a little spat anymore, this was a fight. Your first fight in the whole 10 months together. Your heart cracked a bit, but you filled with fire at his harshness. 

“I take? I borrowed a book for a few hours. You literally take my fucking blood out of me daily. Do you know what that feels like over time? It hurts.” your voice wavered slightly but you held strong. 

“But you were oh so willing as long as I was fucking you while I did it!” that was dirty and untrue and he knew it. He said the most hateful thing he could think of and he knew it would cut you deeply.

Your eyes widened, your mouth hung open. “You think this is about sex?.... You conceited jackass! This is about me being in pain for weeks on end and you being too oblivious to see it. Maybe I am nothing more to you than dinner.” you laughed to yourself, the absolute arrogance of this man had you baffled. 

Astarion marched towards you, his face was unfamiliar. All scrunched up in a way you had never seen directed at you. His crimson eyes were practically glowing with rage. He pushed you back so you were trapped between the desk and his arms. He put his face near yours, he sounded like an animal. The growl in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. “Maybe I should drain you dry…” he nestled his face into the crook of your neck, fangs barely grazing your neck. 

You whimpered and tears flowed down your face. You were legitimately scared. Astarion always asked before he bit you. Yet here he was, threatening to drain you with his fangs at your throat. Your body shook and you let out a sob, trying desperately not to move as you knew his fangs could tear you apart. 

The sob was what cleared his mind. As soon as he heard it all the anger in him disappeared and he just felt sad. He had never seen you cry and the fact that you were now, because of him, it devoured him from inside. He backed up two paces, you flinched when he moved so quickly and it was like a shard of ice into his heart to know he scared you.

“Darling I… I’m sorry… I wasn’t going to… I didn’t mean to scare you” he said, holding his arms out in front of him, surrendering to you. 

You pushed yourself against the desk, desperate to be away from him. Your arms crossed your chest, holding yourself. “Please… don’t hurt me…” you mumbled. He saw the fear in your eyes. 

“I would never…” he said, his eyes were big and round and yet you were terrified. “Please my love, I don’t know what came over me…” he looked at his new ring, it was glowing a soft red.

You looked to where his eyes were, you immediately recognized the ring. The Circle of Malum. It brought out the wearers worst emotions, and turned them cold. Hostile; in exchange for great strength and cunning wisdom. “Take that off…” you pointed at his ring, still too afraid to touch him. 

“What?” he questioned, sounding defensive.

“The ring is changing you Astarion… You’re not yourself…please love…” you spoke out in a hushed tone, still nervous. 

Love. You still loved him? How strange he thought. He looked between you and the ring before flinging it off his finger. It felt as if it was burning him once he knew the truth of its devious exchange. “Little love… I’m so sorry… I didn’t mean anything I said… I was so angry I - I… I felt out of control.” 

You looked deep into his eyes. No malice, not a single hint of irritation. You saw fear and love, both of which were directed at you. You cautiously moved towards him, hands gently reaching for his face. You tilted his chin up, looking into his eyes. All you could see was the guilt on his face and the sorrow that was radiating off of him. “It's ok, you're ok.” you whispered.

He nodded before he pulled you into a hug. A few stray tears of his landed on your shoulder. You stayed like that for a while. 

“I love you…” he whispered with a small smile. 

You wiped the last of the tears from under his eyes before kissing his cheeks. You glanced down at his lips, his eyes watching you flit back and forth. He leaned in but you closed the space. Gentle, like he was afraid of breaking you. “I love you.” you leaned your forehead against his, breathing him in. 

“Were you able to finish the book?” he asked after a few moments.

You smiled at him, such a curious little thing he was. “Yes.” 

“And?” he said, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“And… Now I can speak to the dead.” you said, pride building in you. 

“Think you can help me read it?” he asked, taking your hand. 

You kissed him quickly, “I think I can manage that.”

He smiled, for what felt like the first time in days.

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Naboo's Note:

Hello all! I hope this is a good one for ya! Idk I was in my angsty sad girl hours and this was the product. Hope you are all doing well <3 As always, thank your for the likes, comments, reblogs, and requests! Talk soon XOXOXOXOXXOXOOXOXOOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXO!!!

[unformula1]

jealousy and regret (OP81 x LS2)

part 1 part 2: “eugh… alexander albon” oscar gets smacked in the face by his talk with logan and alex. w/c: 1576 day 28 of loscar posts until we get a loscar podium (series masterlist) masterlist

“I’m sorry. Do you know where… Logan is?” Oscar quietly asks one of the engineers.

“Oscar?” 

Oscar hears the all-familiar voice and turns around.

He’s met face to face with the blonde-haired, blue-eyed American.

“Logan!”

And just like clockwork, here comes Alexander Albon. The British-Thai 2019 rookie who honestly, Oscar has nothing against, other than the fact that he pretty much stole Logan away from him.

Alex slides next to Logan, hand swung around Logan’s shoulder, leaning onto him.

“Morning Oscar.” Alex says.

Oscar purses his lips. 

Shit. Oscar shouldn’t be like this, he should be glad that Logan has someone to support him better. Oscar should be happy for Logan…

He pushes the thoughts to the back of his head and does his best to suppress them as Alex starts invading Logan’s personal space.

He grits his teeth, clenching his jaw. 

“What brings you here?” Logan says with that wide smile on his face. 

That makes Oscar feel slightly better, at least Logan still smiles at him.

“Uhm… you.” Oscar blurts out, clearly something didn’t go through a filter.

The silence in the room suddenly becomes louder, the awkwardness is tangible and the tension grows thicker.

Alex’s arm slides away from Logan’s shoulder, he’s still standing within Logan’s personal bubble though.

Logan clearly doesn’t read the room well.

“Oh… what’s up then!” He says, the excitement in his voice sharply contrasting the clear tensions building up right now.

“We should…” Oscar finally puts his words through a filter, “Talk. We should talk.” Oscar clears his throat as he finishes.

Obviously Oscar sounded awkward because Logan cocks up an eyebrow, which is something Logan does when he’s unsure of what’s happening. Oscar silently bets Alex doesn’t know that.

“I mean…” Logan chooses his words carefully, “Yea. Of course, I think so too. We really haven’t talked in a while.”

Oscar’s uneasiness fades off and he smiles, a small chuckle escapes too.

“We’ll get to talk later, sometime soon yea?” Logan thinks before saying.

Oscar nods, “Yep. Yep!” 

“Right, so see you then?” Logan says.

“Alright!” Oscar says, internally cheering.

It all disappears in an instant when Alex and Logan walk off, being unbearably close as usual. However, something ruins it all, Alex leans into Logan, whispering something into his ear and Logan chuckles loudly at it.

God Oscar absolutely hates it.

The delicate barrier between internal jealousy and external jealousy shatters.

He’s so gonna get Alex out of this story. He’s so gonna get Logan back. He’s so gonna become Logan’s number one again.

Who did Alex think he was?

A few (admittedly painful) hours pass and Oscar sits in his driver’s room. Suddenly Lando’s murder plan doesn’t seem too bad now.

Speak of the devil.

Lando swings open Oscar’s door.

“Osc. You’re acting strange.” Lando says.

Straightforward, as always.

“How so?” Oscar says, hiding his misery with a fake smile.

“Don’t try that on me.” Lando says as he walks into the room, slamming the door shut behind him, “Spill right now.”

“I already told you. Williams drivers. Me and Logan.” Oscar says, his voice with a tinge of annoyance.

“Yea well usually you don’t dwell on it for too long, and haven’t you already talked to Logan?” Lando shrugs.

“Yes but it’s not that simple, Lando.” Oscar says, eerily monotonously.

“So… there’s something more?” Lando inquires.

Oscar rolls his eyes. He’s gonna hate Lando for this.

“I hate how Alex is close to Logan.” Oscar admits.

“Woah.” Lando says, his hands raising up, “What?”

“Alex doesn’t deserve it.” Oscar, once again, feels the jealousy completely removing his filter.

“They’re teammates, they’re going to be close. Just like us!” Lando says.

“Yea well, he wasn’t there for Logan when Logan was crying on a hotel bed.” Oscar scoffs, “You know who was? Me.”

Lando’s taken aback. He processes Oscar’s words first before trying his best to phrase the next sentence nicely.

“That’s very pretentious of you.” Lando says.

And it’s like a slap in the face for Oscar, he finally realises what he just said. Shit. Then the past few hours of murder plotting hit him in the face as well. Double Shit. He’s really letting this jealousy take over him.

“Fuck.” Oscar whispers.

“What?” Lando asks, moving slightly closer to Oscar.

“I feel horrible. That was so horrible of me.” Oscar buries his face into his hands, “I don’t know what’s gotten into me. These past weeks, it’s just been jealousy, jealousy, jealousy.”

Lando nods a few times.

“Well…” Lando thinks, “You should talk to Logan about this. Maybe apologise for being possessive too.” 

It’s obvious Lando means it as a joke but Oscar feels like it’s a punch into the gut. He’s been insanely possessive. 

“But seriously, talk to Logan about this.” Lando shrugs.

“Okay.” Oscar says as he stands up, brushing past Lando and walking out the room.

“I didn’t mean now… but okay.” 

------

Oscar sees Logan filming Williams' media in the garage, right next to Alex. He suppresses the thoughts, constantly reminding himself that Alex deserves it.

They end shortly after and Oscar makes his way over to Logan. He, rather rudely, inserts himself into the picture, standing next to Logan.

“Hi Oscar.” Alex says, which prompts Logan to greet Oscar.

“Hey Osc.” Logan says.

“Can we talk… like right now.” Oscar says.

“I mean, sure, with Alex or…” Logan replies.

Oscar hesitates. Would that help?

“Okay.” Oscar says on instinct.

“Alright, cool.” Logan says and pats the seat next to him for Oscar to sit.

Oscar sits down, in between the two Williams drivers. He takes a deep breath before starting.

“Is this about Lando?” Alex jokes which prompts a laugh from Logan. Oscar laughs too, but with slight bitterness.

“No… it’s about you two.” Oscar says.

“Oh.” Alex replies.

“You know what, this is getting out of hand, I’m just gonna get straight to the point.” Oscar rambles.

“Why the hell are you two so close?” Oscar says, directing the question to Logan.

This question takes both Williams drivers by surprise, and seeing as though this question came without a filter, it surprises Oscar too.

“Because we’re teammates…” Logan says.

“Yes I know that but you two are… close close.” Oscar exaggerates his hand movements.

“Uhm…” Logan hesitates, “I guess Alex has been pretty nice to me, being a great person and all that.”

Oscar can feel his jealousy rising again, even more when Alex smiles at Logan.

Logan proceeds to tell his entire story about Qatar and all the races, along with how Alex helped Logan. 

“Alex sat next to me while I cried, because I had no one else.” Logan says and it feels like he’s on the brink of tears.

Oscar’s jealousy gets replaced by guilt. He had no one else.

“Everyone hated me. Well, exaggeration but that’s how I felt.” Logan says and Alex places one hand on Logan’s thigh, “But Alex was there. So it was better.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Oscar can feel the guilt piling up.

And then it finally dawns on him. Alex deserves Logan, not Oscar. In fact, Oscar doesn’t deserve Logan.

He’s placed everything else above Logan in the past year. Logan and his friendship didn’t matter to him, he was blinded; and while he was gone, Alex was there, to sit next to Logan while he cried on the hotel bed.

God he’s been a horrible friend. Everyone there knows that. Alex knows that, Logan knows that too. 

He let Logan go and now, like some brat, he expected Logan back again. He really was pretentious. He only cared about Logan once it got too late. He pretty much ignored Logan for the better part of the year, burying their friendship 6 feet deep.

Oscar can feel his regret building as Logan looks into Alex’s eyes. Usually it would be jealousy.

This was his second chance. 

“Sorry.” Oscar manages, a sting in his throat preventing him from speaking.

“What?” Logan asks.

“Sorry Logan.” Oscar repeats.

“For what…?” Logan’s oblivious.

“Being a shit friend.” Oscar says as he stifles a sniff.

“No… definitely not.” Logan laughs, “You’ve been a great friend.”

“You don’t need to lie.” Oscar sobs slightly.

Alex pats Oscar on the shoulder.

“Sorry to you too.” Oscar says to Alex.

Confusion builds on Alex’s face but he doesn’t inquire further, which is to Oscar’s benefit.

“It’s alright mate.” Alex says.

Oscar falls into Logan’s embrace, they hug.

Alex winks at Logan and gets up, “I’ll see you two soon.”

“I’ve been nothing but horrible. Please… forgive me, please.” Oscar says, his voice muffled from burying his head into Logan’s chest.

“Mate… I really have no clue what you’re talking about.” Logan says, his voice laced with concern.

Oscar looks up into Logan’s eyes, sniffling. He takes another deep breath, cleaning away his tears.

“You will not believe the things I have been thinking about these days.” Oscar says, “I’ve been so… so horrible.”

Logan cocks his eyebrow up again.

“I’ve been jealous.” 

There, he said it. Somehow it lifts a giant weight off Oscar’s chest.

“Of me and Alex?” Logan asks.

“Yes. Exactly that.” Oscar replies, “But I’ve realised. I’m a bitch.”

“Hey! Don’t say that about yourself.” Logan says, quickly hugging Oscar again.

Oscar struggles to get something out.

“I forgive you man. Let’s start again, yea?” Logan says while hugging Oscar.

Oscar nods, once again.

Logan pats Oscar’s head as they hug for a bit.

------ a/n: hope you like it lol. a little rushed but i tried to make it work.

EXTRA SCENE (Completely non-loscar related btw)

Lando have they talked? tell me they’ve talked Alex They have. Yes. Lando and they talked about their friendship right. Alex Yes Lan They did. Lando great! Alex I know. Who would’ve believed Oscar would be jealous. Lando me. i said it before Alex No one believes you anyway. Lando do you forgive oscah? Alex Yes. Because if I was him, I’d be jealous of me and Logie’s perfect relationship too Lando blah blah shut up. Alex Tell Oscar I forgive him And that Logan is all his again. I’ll still be a great teammate though. Lando Oscar says thank you.

[shitouttabuck]

Hi! Hope you don’t mind my dropping in. I just read let the world have its way with you and thank you I had to sniff back tears on the plane it was so lovely 🥺😍. Question, and if you’ve answered this before I’m so sorry but I just have to know: how did Buck react when inevitably he sees the photos taken of him and Eddie at Halloween? Thank you again for this fic and I’m sending you all the good vibes of an unexpected humpback whale breech.

hello!!!! thank you so much for dropping in to say these lovely things!!! to answer your question: yes, a bunch of people have asked this actually, but no, i’ve never had a reply until now ! your message sparked something haha so here you go, have a little bucket list fic timestamp:

a thousand times (which isn’t half enough)

buck/eddie | 2k | t

“Oh, ow, what the fuck,” Buck says, wincing as he snatches back his hand.

Eddie glares at him, no hint of remorse while he crumples the dish towel he just whipped Buck’s fingers with before putting his hands on his hips in that perfectly bitchy way he’s got down to an art. “I’m supposed to be doing the cooking, I’m the one who’s actually made this before,” he tells Buck, stepping forward to stir the curry and jostling Buck out of the way. “You’re sous chef today.”

“And this is in no way an objection to that kitchen hierarchy, or a criticism of your cooking capabilities,” Buck says, hands up pacifyingly, “but Eddie. I’ve eaten this enough times at Ravi’s to know this is, uh, nowhere close to the colour it’s meant to be.”

“What do you mean,” Eddie frowns, stirring and peering down into the large saucepan, dent in the side courtesy of Buck’s clumsiness nearly half a decade ago. “It’s a—process. A culinary journey. I’m sure it’ll be the right colour when we’re done. It just needs some time.”

“Eddie, it’s green.”

“Plenty of curries are green. Thai green curry, it’s even got it in the name.”

“Eddie,” Buck says, trying not to laugh at the disgruntled furrow in Eddie’s brow, “I don’t think Ravi’s traditional beef curry is supposed to be green at any stage.”

Eddie’s face scrunches as he squints down at the curry he’s stirring, thick and aromatic and unexpectedly pea-soup coloured.

“Oh God,” he says, staring at the spoonful he’s ladled out. “You’re right. Fuck. How the fuck did it get to—this? Fuck, Bobby and Athena are gonna be here in—” He glances at the wall clock, “—an hour, oh my God, Buck, that’s not enough time to fix this.”

Buck rolls his eyes, hip-checking Eddie in a way he hopes is comforting but not bothering to try and ease any of Eddie’s—quite frankly ridiculous—anxiety about seeing Bobby socially for the first time since the engagement.

He knows the nervousness stems entirely from the fact that Eddie didn’t ask Bobby for his blessing before proposing to Buck, which he’s teased Eddie for endlessly, declaring it old-fashioned and archaic even if there’s something achingly sweet about the intentions with which Eddie went into it.

It did not end up prefacing their engagement. Apparently Eddie’d been testing the waters, gearing up to propose when he hoped the moment was right. Except, then, one night on the couch, watching telenovela reruns, Buck had made an offhand comment about the bride on-screen taking her husband’s last name despite being of the girlboss variety one might expect not to, and how in context it was a win for cheesy romance but maybe a hiccup for some kind of feminism somewhere.

And Eddie, one arm curled around Buck from behind, scratching at his stomach gently as he spoke, had sleepily and thoroughly unintentionally mumbled, “Would you wanna do that with me?”

Buck had blinked and asked what, and Eddie’d yawned and said, “Take my last name.”

Buck had laughed through the want and said, “Careful, Diaz, you might give a guy the idea that he’s being proposed to.”

And Eddie went stiff behind him for a full five seconds, Buck not daring to breathe either, before wrapping his other arm around Buck too, kiss to his temple and a quiet, “And if that was the idea intended?”

And so they’d gotten engaged and had to get the couch dry-cleaned and Eddie was made to pass on his well-meaning, antiquated desire to profess his intentions to Bobby prior to the actual proposal. Which is fine, obviously, but they’ve been engaged just going on three weeks and Bobby and Athena are coming around for dinner, and that, on top of committing himself to captaining an unfamiliar culinary adventure—something decidedly not in the Eddie Diaz wheelhouse—has Eddie strung the fuck out, mild and amusing as it may be.

“Okay, uh, I’m just gonna look at the original recipe again, not the one Ravi altered for white people,” Eddie says, looking around. “Can you get it? Phone’s charging in the bedroom, I think it should just be in the media roll of my chat with Ravi, he sent me a photo of his grandmother’s recipe book.”

“His grandma’s? What did you do to gain access to his family recipes? I feel like I should be jealous.”

“We exchanged abuela secret recipes,” Eddie shrugs. “You already have a direct open line of communication with my grandmother. I think you text her more than me.”

This is true; Isabel is a formidable opponent in online Scrabble and likes to get Buck’s thoughts on the weekly MasterChef episode. She’s his family as much as Eddie’s, and Buck was just teasing anyway, but he skips to their bedroom with a pleased grin nonetheless.

Eddie’s phone is nearly fully charged, so he just unplugs it, typing Ravi’s name into the message app search bar. A few clicks and then he’s snorting at the last image Ravi sent Eddie: a meme of Steve Buscemi saying how do you do, fellow kids? with a rainbow flag Photoshopped over the skateboard he’s carrying. Ravi’s succinctly captioned it, “you,” and Eddie has thumbs-downed it without deigning to respond.

Buck scrolls through the media roll quickly, scanning the images for something that resembles a recipe book or an old lady’s handwriting. It’s mostly memes, some goofy photos of each other taken on one of their phones during slow shifts, and—that’s a picture of Buck. Two pictures of Buck.

He pauses, frowning at the adjacent squares in the media roll. It’s not that it’s unexpected that Eddie and Ravi would have photos of Buck, it’s just—Buck’s usually seen them, too. He has most definitely not seen these pictures.

He clicks on the first one, feeling almost nervous. And, oh. It’s from Halloween the year before last, when everyone else was sick and he and Eddie went to that big gay party. He’s in his Sandy get-up, looking—pretty slutty, actually. He hums appreciatively, re-experiencing the leather pants and crop top and heels. In the photo, his eyes are shut, head tilted back to the music, cheeks pink and red-painted lips ajar. And then he takes in the other side of the photo.

Eddie, watching Buck through the crowd not unlike a lion zeroing in on a gazelle. His mouth is parted too, but—his eyes. It’s like he’s undressing Buck right there in public with just his gaze. Jesus, it’s like he’s doing so much more than undressing him—Buck half-expects the picture to swirl into motion, see Eddie stride across the dance floor and bend Buck over in front of everyone present.

It's not a wholly unfamiliar expression now, to Buck who’s had Eddie like this for over a year, but this was from before they were together. This was before Buck knew Eddie wanted him in any way but platonic. And even then, the kind of raw, unmasked desire plastered across Eddie’s face? Like he wants to swallow Buck whole and keep him there, inside Eddie, close as possible, for the rest of time? That’s the kind of intensity Eddie only reveals on occasion, a vulnerability that’s a certain effort to access.

That doesn’t mean Eddie holds back or censors himself in their sex lives, not anymore, not for a long time now. It’s just—this is the kind of want that comes from a place without adequate words to communicate it, a near animal desperation that’s taxing for the everyday.

And here it is, unmistakeable, before Buck even knew. Eddie, so good at the suppression and the repression in that era, unable to escape the honesty of his hunger with just one look.

Buck swallows and adjusts himself in his pants.

The second picture is—oh. It’s of him and Eddie dancing during the Grease song, when Eddie had held him close and dipped Buck like he’d been doing it all his life. It’s—oh. He can’t believe Eddie’s not shown him this one before, because—there’s so much love contained inside this photograph, he can feel it seeping out of the phone and into his hands, liquid sunshine.

Buck’s head is thrown back, face scrunched in delighted laughter, and Eddie’s so close, beaming at him with nothing short of adoration. It’s pouring out of him, clear as day, the happiness in this single photo a tangible thing even over a year later.

Buck kind of wants to urge the him in the picture to open his eyes, see the way Eddie’s looking at him. But then again, the way Eddie looked at him didn’t really change, before and after. So maybe he wouldn’t have clocked it as anything other than Eddie’s everyday love, so far from the romance column in his own tangled-up brain at the time it wouldn’t have mattered.

He wanders back to the kitchen, swiping back to the first photo. Heat licks its way up his spine, uncaring of the fact that they have dinner guests and no time for this. He slouches in the kitchen doorway, watching Eddie chop cilantro carefully.

“What?” Eddie frowns. “I’m in a crisis, Buck, don’t look at me like that, it’s not helpful.”

Buck clears his throat. “Like what?”

“Like you’re eyefucking me so hard I might undergo immaculate conception.”

Buck can’t focus on the nearly painfully arousing implications of that, but never let it be said his horniness surpasses—rightful—indignation. “Me?” he asks incredulously. “Eyefucking you? That’s fucking rich, considering the contents of these.” He waves Eddie’s phone at him for emphasis.

“What’s that,” Eddie asks impatiently. “Where’s my recipe?”

“Oh,” Buck says. “I didn’t actually get that far.”

Eddie makes a noise of irritation, washing his hands and reaching out for his phone. “What the hell have you been—oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” Buck says. “How come you’ve never shown me these before?”

Eddie flushes, even more than the heat of the kitchen can take credit for. “I dunno. I guess I just look so… I dunno.”

“So in love with me?” Buck asks, mouth quirking up on one side. He steps forward, wraps his arms around Eddie’s waist.

Eddie sighs, listing forward in Buck’s grasp. “I mean—yeah. I guess I was just thrown by how obvious the, I don’t know, enormity of my—the way I felt about you was. And by the time I was okay with it—the enormity and the obviousness—I kinda forgot about these.”

Buck turns his head, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s hairline. Eddie lifts his face, searching for Buck’s mouth with his own, and Buck happily obliges, kissing him gently.

“Well, I’m sending these to myself,” Buck informs him, “and then we’re getting the second one framed and hung up in our room.”

“Is that the less horny one?” Eddie asks.

“They’re both plenty horny,” Buck says, “but yeah. Marginally less.”

“Fine,” Eddie allows. “But it will be subject to temporary removal if and when my parents come stay.”

“Deal,” Buck agrees, and then leans back in to kiss Eddie again.

He uses his grip on Eddie’s waist to steer them back, caging Eddie against the counter and lining his body flush along the length of Eddie’s, thigh to hip to chest. Eddie sighs contentedly, hand sneaking under the back of Buck’s shirt to splay across his bare skin. His jeans have a delicious heavy-weight friction to them, and Buck tries to angle himself so he can rock against Eddie lazily. He opens his own mouth under Eddie’s, trying valiantly to deepen the kiss, have Eddie lick into him hot and sweet, but Eddie pulls back.

“The curry,” he says mournfully. “Bobby and Athena.”

Buck groans, taking the edge off it by leaning in to kiss the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “You are so overthinking this Bobby thing. I’m not a woman in the early 1900s. Bobby’s technically not even my—”

“He is, though,” Eddie interrupts. “As far as it matters.”

“Okay,” Buck agrees, because that’s true. “But why are you so hung up on being old-school traditional here?”

Eddie huffs. “Sometimes tradition is good. It’s not like I’d have been asking permission to marry you, just. Wanting to have his—I don’t know.”

“Okay, well, I’m not some blushing bride.” Buck kisses the other corner of Eddie’s mouth, making it quirk up into a smile.

“Debatable,” he murmurs, and Buck pinches him at his waist. He squirms, grinning.

“We’re getting married,” Buck tells him, and Eddie lights up so incandescently Buck thinks even the Halloween photograph doesn’t know such happiness. “Bobby’s really happy for us. A curry’s not gonna change any of that.”

“I know,” Eddie says, sighs. “This is just the first time since—I just really wanted to show him I can be good for you, too.”

Buck gapes at him. “Are you—Eddie. Are you serious?”

Eddie shrugs one shoulder, looking embarrassed. Buck takes a step back so he can grab both Eddie’s hands in his own.

“I’m not even gonna—mention the bucket list,” he says, “but Eddie. Eddie. Why do you think Bobby made us partners in the first place?”

Eddie huffs a laugh, but it’s a real one. “I know, okay, but this just—we’re getting married, Buck.”

“And watch him take credit for it in his wedding speech,” Buck says.

Eddie smiles at him, but the underlying current of nerves is still thrumming, visible to Buck a step away.

“Okay,” he says, one final kiss to the centre of Eddie’s mouth. Eddie chases it when he pulls away, but he stands firm. “Let’s save this curry and the sanctity of our marriage to-be. Tomorrow, though, tomorrow, you’re putting on the greaser jeans and fucking me into the mattress.”

Eddie snorts, cheeks pink again. “Sounds like a plan.” He opens his phone, searching for the original recipe.

The ingredients are read aloud, and when Buck swings shut the fridge door as he confirms them, the faded yellow list pinned with a star-shaped magnet looks back at him, ready to have scribbled-out number 5 ticked off completely, wholly, permanently. Buck’s already there with start a family, but get married? He doesn’t think he could’ve imagined it being as good as this.

And if this piece of paper accompanies them to the courthouse, actual marriage certificate second in importance, that’s for him and Eddie to know, because the list doesn’t end, but God, does it feel good to live through it.

[heyitsme1040]

Sassy Soup [stucky]

summary : Steve and Bucky come home while you’re making soup. While the boys are causing chaos, you try to remind them that you’re cooking. It doesn’t work out, and now Steve is picking up dinner for the three of you. But that’s fine, you can always make soup tomorrow. 

pairings : Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Reader

warnings : None (if I missed anything let me know!)

word count : 550

AO3 (x)

a/n : Day twenty-seven of Comfortember is here! The prompt was ‘soup’.  

“It’s way too cold,” Bucky’s voice came from the entryway. 

“I told you to put on more than just a shirt and your leather jacket,” Steve replied. 

You shook your head, chuckling at their antics. You heard some loud thumps from the hallway. Before you could ask what was happening, Bucky was briskly moving through the kitchen with Steve hot on his heels. Bucky stood behind you with his arms around your waist, gently guiding the two of you so he stood in the corner with you securely against his front. Steve stood directly in front of you, playfully glaring at the brunette behind you. 

“Careful of the lady, punk,” Bucky’s voice taunted. 

You slightly raised your hand, about to interject between their dispute, “Um, I need to–”

Steve scoffed in response to Bucky’s taunt, “Really? ‘Careful of the lady’ when you’re the jerk that pulled her into this.”

“I really should–” you pointed to the pot on the stove. 

“I can’t help that she’s so irresistible. I couldn’t stand not being around her any longer,” Bucky tried to sweet talk. 

“The stove–” you spoke up, looking at the pot you heard boiling. 

“So you just wanted to hug her, then? This has nothing to do with–” Steve cut himself off, startled. 

The pot on the stove had boiled over. Bucky pulled you to stand behind him, standing in a way to shield you while still being alert. You pouted, upset the soup you had been making for dinner was no longer going how you’d hoped. You stepped around Bucky, past Steve, and turned off the burner. With your hands protected by oven mitts, you moved the pot off of the still-hot burner. No longer on the heat, the soup quickly stopped boiling. You looked at the separated soup, disappointed it wasn’t salvageable. 

“There goes dinner,” you murmur, stirring the pot one last time. When the burned chicken that was stuck to the bottom reached the surface of the separated cream base, your shoulders sagged further. 

“I’m sorry doll,” Bucky spoke up, turning you to face him. He bent his knees to level his eyes with yours, “I didn’t mean to ruin dinner.”

“Yeah,” Steve kissed your temple while placing his arm across your shoulders, “We were just joking around. And it went too far. We’re sorry.”

Bucky nodded, keeping his gaze on your face. 

“I know,” you tell them, “and it’s okay. I was just looking forward to trying a new recipe. I can always try again,” you smiled slightly. 

“Tomorrow,” Steve suggested. “Buck and I will go with you to the store and get everything for the soup.”

“And we’ll help with whatever you need to make it,” Bucky chimed in. “That way it won’t take as long.”

“Thanks you two,” you kissed each of them on the cheek in turn. 

Steve picked you up and carried you to the living room. Bucky sat on the couch before Steve set you on the cushion. Bucky guided you to lay down with your head in his lap, running his fingers through your hair. 

“I’ll be right back,” Steve said as he walked back toward the entryway. “I’m gonna go pick us up some of that Thai food up the road.”

“That sounds great,” you call out to him. 

Author's Note : Reblogs are appreciated, likes are welcome, and if you want to read more of my fics then maybe follow.

©heyitsme1040 If you find this post on any platform under a username different than heyitsme1040 it is not their work.

[sebastianstanisahotmf]

clingy

Steve Rogers x reader

A/N I'm sorry for not posting for a few days, I will catch up but my son has been ill and I've been focusing on him. This is a part of my 100 followers celebration. Also, all mistakes are my own, so if you see any feel free to comment them and other comments, likes and reblogs are appreciated.

THIS IS NOT AN 18+ FIC BUT I STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MINORS READING MY FICS SO PLEASE DNI IF YOU ARE A MINOR

Summary whenever you come home from a mission Steve feels the need to be touching you at all times

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/WEBSITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings fluff

Steve wasn’t really a clingy person but when you come back from a mission, you saw a different side to america’s golden boy. 

As soon as the quinjet landed, Steve was running over, waiting for you to walk out. He picked you up and walk ed into the compound with your legs wrapped around his waist and your bag over his shoulder. 

He didn’t put you down until you reached the living room on your shared floor: he put your bag on the table and sat on the couch with you on his lap. 

“I missed you so much baby,” Steve mumbled into the crook of your neck. 

“I missed you too stevie,” you replied, running your hands through his soft locks of hair. 

You stayed like that for a while until your stomach grumbled. This made Steve chuckle and pick you up again.

“What do you want to eat darlin’?” he asked.

“I’m thinking takeout from that Thai place we went to before I went on this mission.”

“That sounds like a good idea babe. I’ll call them and you can go and get some blankets to make the couch more comfy,” he said, kissing your forehead and putting you down.

You walked into your shared bedroom and grabbed every blanket in sight (there were many since you loved to hoard blankets) and arranged them on the couch. Then, you grabbed the pillows off your bed and arranged them so both you and Steve would be comfy. 

A few minutes later, Steve walked into the living room and laid down on the couch with his head on your lap.

“They said it should be here in 15-20 minutes,” Steve told you with a smile on his face since you had started to play with his hair.

“That means we can start a film. What do you want to watch baby?”

“What was the film you said you wanted to watch with me before you went on the mission?” 

“Are you talking about A Muppets Christmas Carol?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“We can watch that baby, I just gotta find it on Disney+ first.”

Not many people knew this but Steve loved musicals, he didn’t know why but theres something so magical about them that always captivated him. He doesn’t tell many people this fact about him though since he’s a bit embarrased about it (he was almost too embarrassed to tell you but a few kisses sorted that issue out.)

You pressed play on the remote and saw a smile creep onto Steve’s face. You loved to see him so happy. 

15 minutes into the film you were alerted by F.R.I.D.A.Y that someone was at the gates with a delivery for you.

“I’ll go and get it darlin’” Steve told you, smiling.

It wasn’t long before Steve was back. You grabbed you food and sat on the couch. Steve walked over to you but he didn’t sit on the couch, he sat between your legs- you had already put a few pillows and blankets there on the floor, knowing Steve would sit there. He rested his head against your left leg while he ate his food and watched the tv.

Once the both of you had finished eating, Steve wrapped his arm around your left leg and gave your thigh a kiss. This didn’t look like anything special, but to Steve it was a perfect level of intimacy for him and his slight clingyness.

This being accompanied by you constantly running your hands through his hair made him feel happy and content that you where home but also that you were ok with his need to be touching you at that moment.

If you want to join my taglist to know when I post these fics or any others please click on the link.

Also, if you want to see what I reblog, my other account is @sebastianstanisahotmf-reblogs

Taglist: @buckys-wintersoldier, @nicoline1998enilocin

[mamadoc]

Hello! I posted the last chapter of my current Chenford fanfic. Here’s a snippet to wet your palate.

When they parked at Tim’s house, he couldn’t stop himself and leaned over to give Lucy a kiss. Then he reached into the back seat to grab their Thai food, while Lucy grabbed her duffel bag and backpack. Tim opened the door and gave Lucy another quick kiss. “I’m just going to put this food in the fridge,” he said as they entered the house. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Lucy hummed her response as she toed off her shoes and set her things down by the door. She looked around Tim’s house again, remembering the evening they spent there together two days ago. Then, she felt her phone buzzing and pulled it out of her pocket. She scowled at the name on the screen, but she decided it was in her best interest to answer the call since she was going to keep calling if she ignored it. “Hello?”

“San nin faai lok [Happy New Year],” the voice said with a harsh tone.

“San nin faai lok. Gung hei faat choi, muqin [Happy New Year. May you be prosperous, mother],” Lucy responded in the nicest tone she could manage.

“I thought it would be best to call you instead of waiting any longer for you to call me. I didn’t even hear from you on Christmas,” Lucy’s mother said.

“Duibuqi [Sorry]. I got snowed in on my way back from Denver on Christmas Eve. Then I had to go to work as soon as I got back to LA. But I sent you gifts that you should have received by Christmas,” Lucy said kindly.

Tim heard Lucy speaking as he moved back into the room. He scrunched up in face in confusion as she spoke in Chinese. He could feel the tension coming off of Lucy from the phone call, so he thought he would do what he could to make her feel more comfortable, and he also wanted to convince her to get off the phone as soon as possible. He moved behind Lucy and wrapped his arms around her middle. She relaxed back into him and sighed as her mother spoke.

“So, you’re using your job as an excuse again. Is that what I’m hearing?” Vanessa Chen asked.

“It’s not an excuse, Mom. I was just busy with work that day,” Lucy said defensively. “Did you have a good holiday?”

Tim could sense that this uncomfortable phone call was not getting any easier, so he upped his game a little bit and started kissing and nibbling at Lucy’s neck to convince her to be done.

“It was fine. We met with your grandmother and Aunt Amy. And we were with them again last night to celebrate New Year’s Eve. You didn’t call then, either.”

“Duibuqi [Sorry]. I had a couple parties that I attended yesterday, and I was busy. But I’m talking to you now. Did you have a nice New Year’s Eve?” she asked. She swatted at Tim who was so distracting that she was having a hard time continuing her conversation. He responded by moving from the right side of her neck to the left side.

“It was fine. Your Aunt Amy insisted on making dinner instead of ordering dinner. But her lotus root soup is never seasoned well, so I had to fix it. Then her dumplings were undercooked. And her bao weren’t pinched properly.” She huffed. “I should have just offered to make dinner myself.”

“Duibuqi [Sorry]. I’m sure she was trying to do something nice for you, so you didn’t have to do all the work.” Lucy swatted at Tim again because he had found just the right spot and made her gasp in the middle of talking to her mother.

“It’s fine. It’s all over now. Your grandmother was asking about you. Even if you want to continue to be disobedient and rude to your parents that doesn’t mean you should ignore your grandmother.”

“Yes, mother. I’ll make sure to stop by soon,” her last few words went up significantly in pitch as Tim had gone back to her sweet spot again to nibble and suck a little bit harder. Her eyes rolled back to her head, and she slumped back into Tim a little bit more.

“Lucy? What are you doing?” she said accusatorily.

“Hmm? Oh. I… I was just…” she struggled to find what she wanted to tell her mother as Tim’s fingers crept under the edge of her t-shirt and spread out across her belly pulling her further into him and not letting up on her neck at all. “I was just enjoying a cup of tea, and… and it… it was just a little hot.” Tim chuckled into her skin, and Lucy tried ineffectively to swat at him again.

“The tea was too hot?” she asked, confused.

“Yes. I’m very, very hot right now. I mean… the tea. The tea is very hot,” Lucy said a little breathlessly.

Tim laughed softly into her skin at her slip up, and then bit the area he had been sucking on, making Lucy involuntarily release a high-pitched squeal. Her unoccupied hand came up to cover her mouth in surprise.

“Lucy?”

“Duibuqi [Sorry]. I must have burned myself on the tea. I’ve gotta go. Bye,” she said quickly, hanging up the phone. She heard her mother start to say something back before she ended the call, but she just couldn’t continue the conversation any longer. She let out a breath, her hands falling down to her sides. Then she spun herself around to face Tim, her hands on her hips.

For a moment, Tim was afraid she was upset, that he had gone too far. But Lucy’s face softened quickly as she said, “What was that?” she asked with a laugh. “You’re impossible!” She paused for a second and then said, “That’s the most… interesting phone call I’ve had with my mother in a long time.” Her hand came up to the spot on her neck that Tim had focused on. “I’m fairly certain I’ll soon have a mark to match yours. Are you happy now?”

“Not quite,” he said grabbing her phone. He walked further into the house and disappeared down the hallway. Lucy followed him for a few steps, but she wasn’t sure if it was okay to continue to follow him or not. A moment later, she heard a series of a few beeps and then the sounds of a door clicking open and shut. Tim reappeared a few seconds later with a smug look on his face.

Lucy narrowed her eyes at him. “Did I just hear you lock our phones into your gun safe?”

“Umm hmm,” he said, pulling her close to him again. “Nothing else is more important right now than you and me.”

Read more here. https://archiveofourown.org/works/52514971/chapters/135896581

[joshslater]

Spy Games

Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

"Aaaah," Sam shouted as he entered his hotel room and saw the young man lounging in the armchair by the window. The man, boy really, was shirtless, exposing tight muscles wrapped in smooth, tanned skin. He wore white, knee-length shorts with red stripes, like Sam's high school team used to wear.

Sam swayed a bit in the doorframe and looked down at the floor. Someone at the dinner had undoubtedly drugged him, probably the woman to his right at the table. But then that was a bit too obvious. It didn't help that he'd had plenty to drink before that.

Sam looked back at the boy, who quickly had gotten on his feet. He had a UFC cap on his head, which given his body could mean more than just being a fan, and a black bead choker around his neck. "Who sent you? MI6? KGB?" He knew it was FSB now, but somehow KGB was equally true. Had he been given truth serum?

"What?! No, man, someone just told me you needed some fun," the boy answered while keeping his distance. His sweatshirt was thrown over the back of the armchair and he was holding his phone with the game he had been playing to pass the time still on the screen.

The woman to his right had looked like his wife did when they got married, and while she didn't outright ask any questions about his work, and certainly not anything about security, she was fishing around for something. Clearly an agent specifically picked for him. Not that it would make any difference. All systems used the security trinity. Something you know, something you have, and something you are. She might have been able to get the pin code out of him through some hypnotic suggestions or something, but the key chip was on the chain around his neck, and unlike in the movies they couldn't just take the eyeball and put it on a stick. The eye scanner actually looked at the pulsing veins in the white of the eye to verify that the person opening the vault was alive.

"Look, I'm sorry. I'm tired, I'm drunk, and I'm married. To a woman." There was something about him that Sam couldn't shake. Perhaps it was the shorts, but the boy resembled Carter, the football jock from high school that Sam had had some confusing emotions about. He hadn't exactly been stalking him, but he sat where he could see him in the cafeteria and spent many afternoons watching the team practice on the field while doing homework.

"Hey man, it doesn't have to be like that. I can just, like, help you relax."

Carter obviously would be Sam's age still, and this boy was half that, but the resemblance was uncanny. Though this "Carter" was some years older than the last time Sam saw Carter, and quite a bit more stacked.

"It's... Hmfff..." Sam started. "You're... paid to be here." "Everyone is paid by someone. If we were friends hanging out someone would still pay me."

Sam closed the door behind him, still not sure, but there was this feeling of finally trying something he wished he'd had dared try out long ago. It wasn't sexual, really. Just to be with Carter. Hug him perhaps.

"I'm Sam," the boy continued. "Why don't you get on the bed and I can work out your tension? I know both Thai and Swedish massage."

"I... Your name is Sam? What a coincidence. Mine as well," he said, thinking there was no way it was a coincidence. None of this was. "Relax and massage do sound nice," he continued and started to move past Carter-looking Sam. He knew it was a bad idea, though no idea how it would be, and that it was the drugs making decisions for him.

He stepped past the stud almost as if he wasn't there, but froze as he felt two hands stroking him from behind. He'd been away from home for too long, he realized. Too long since someone touched him. Really touched him. He just stood there, letting Carter-Sam caress him from behind, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, and finally helping him take it off.

"Lie down for me," Carter-Sam said softly in his ear, while the brim of his UFC cap poked the side of his head. Carefully Sam climbed the hotel bed and lay down across it with his head hanging over the side. Carter-Sam moved just as deliberately as he climbed on top of Sam, and positioned himself on his lower back. It was like a mutual understanding of grace and silence, as the boy started to kneed Sam's upper back.

He was good, Sam immediately recognized, balancing that fine line between soothing and hurting. When he heard the snap of a small plastic bottle and felt the cool glob of something on his back his first thought it was alcogel, but it must have been some sort of massage oil. He could feel a slight warmth from it as it was rubbed into him. The heat, the pressure, the deep tissue's silent groaning, and the rocking motion made Sam blissful. Not just sleepy from the alcohol and whatever else was in it, but the kind of bliss where you would just go along with anything to keep in that state. Blissful and erect.

When he felt his khakis being unbuttoned and removed he just lay there, going along. Then he could feel his boxers being removed as well. In his cloudy mind he wondered if he would mind the boy sticking his dick into him. He realized that he didn't mind. He didn't want it to happen perhaps, but if that was what other Sam wanted he wouldn't resist. Instead the boy slid up along and against his body, slowly and deliberately as only someone as muscular could. He stopped just next to his ear, radiating heat against Sam's back, and softly said "Roll over for me."

Sam did, still under a bridge of boy flesh. He could feel the key chip sliding across his chest, dragging the chain with it, before it settled. It shook him every so slightly from his trance for a split second, but realized it would look just like any other necklace to the other Sam. He for his part was moving back down the body again.

Having his head off the edge of the bed wasn't as comfortable as when on his back. Instead of looking down he was now looking up into the wall, but before he got the chance to reposition himself further in he felt a pair of lips around his penis. It started slowly with a few flicks of tongue against his exposed glans, but even just that made him relax fully and close his eyes. He'd never felt such pleasure before in his life. Whatever he was on he was sad he couldn't get more of it. The boy knew his shit too. He was moving his lips up and down the shaft rhythmically, but also moving one finger along the penis making for the most amazing sensation ever. Did the drug make everything feel better, or did it make you forget how good sex had been before? Then he was back to working the penis with his tongue. As he started stroking the inside of Sam's thigh Sam drifted away again, no longer caring to keep track of the sources of all his sensations. There was a warmth spreading from his groin, almost as if he was peeing his pants. But different. He didn't care.

The bedside ringtone was loud and cheap. While mobile phones had been steadily improved over decades with better speakers, better audio chips, and carefully crafted sound files, bedside hotel phones were just two dull alternating tones. Sam felt drained. His body felt like he had been to a gym session with a new PT who wanted to prove his worth, and his head felt like he had been boozing at a party with drug-laced drinks. The night curtains were drawn so there was no telling what time it was in the dark hotel room.

The phone rang again, and he picked it up mid-signal. "Sam," he said, startling himself with his voice. It was different. "Sir, it is past the checkout time. Would you like to extend your stay with us?" A sense of dread filled Sam as he fumbled to find the key chip on the chain around his neck, only to find a bead choker necklace, and below that, two filled-out pecs.

[sweethangman]

hey pretty boy too proud to say hi now that you’re whoring around with the prince?

you never respond to my hi’s. not politely at least…

doesn’t mean i don’t enjoy ignoring them. 

oh my apologies then… good evening jason…

…

as expected. goodnight, my good knight…

okay, okay, hello? shouldn’t you be helping clean up the ball?

shouldn’t YOU be helping clean up the ball? it’s YOUR engagement.

i’m on watch here? every night?

you know… your view of the hallway is completely obstructed by that column.

the only thing i’d have to miss behind that would have to be even smaller than you. 

i’m not THAT small. 

oh yeah? come get it…

HEY GIVE THAT BACK!!!  I DONT HAVE TIME FOR… DEMEANING CHILDISH GAMES! 

i suppose where you’re standing is… acceptable… i just was trying to be helpful.

hmph. word at the ball was that you left to chase the prince… i didn’t think he was your type. 

he’s actually an ex-ex prince…

wish he was the ex-ex-ex prince.

THAT’S TREASONNNN!

like the king hasn’t had the exact same thought… what’re you doing around his harem? i thought you at least cared about doing your job in addition to everyone else’s. 

people can have a sense of duty without sacrificing ALL semblance of fun. 

drinking until you pass out and sleeping in a strangers bed doesn’t seem like fun to me. 

and what would you consider fun? having the same dreary job for 8 years in a row?

9 years actually.

9 years. positively thrilling if you ask me… y’know, if you wanted to join, you could just ask.

i have a fiancée!— also, i don’t want to!!

mhm.

Good day sir here are the knights letters what do i look like an errand boy deliver them yourself fine just thought youd want to deliver them to your friends guess ill just have to go over there and tell them what a wonderful friend you are to me fine give em here oh my engagement present how is it oh um its really good actually thank you the guy who writes them is great at what he does i already have birds of the southern isles and finches around the world but i've never had an illustrated one before though mustve cost a fortune oh it was nothing im so happy youre enjoying it might be the best engagement present ive gotten the king got me a sword with his coat of arms on the pommel which is nice but its also what he got me for my graduation and im not really sure what to do with two swords wow im honored if we ever visit the provinces i can show you all the birds in real life im never gonna visit the northern provinces im needed here well i grew up in the north as a kid my memories not the sharpesg in the world but i could try and describe what they were like youre from the north i never wouldve guessed you seem like you sprang right into being a fully formed courtier well thank you i moved here when i was 7 so i had time to learn the ropes and lose my accent how about you oh uh well i was born in a nearby town i think or the king thinks im an orphan but ite completely fine i have a better life here than i could ever dream of with the king taking care of me and a job i love a job im good at so not as interesting as you thats way more interesting im glad you found a home here yeah are you in love with maya did she put you up to this she said we'd talk about this later no i swear im sorry if its a touchy subject no its fine i of course im in love with maya we're engaged id be the biggest fool in the world if i wasnt in love with her right i wouldnt know dont you fool around with a lot of guys i thought youd have figured out love by now thats nowher enear love sometimes if i want something from someone and they want a little intimacy in return well why would i turn thay down you shouldnt i mean you cant its not a currency you can exchange why not im cute even worse you have to use it responsibilty how do you know they dont think its love i dont wanna contaminate your big knightly brain

Sorry i did that all from memory i think a lot of that is wrong anyways JASONLOUIS IM CRYING GG O,,,,,...MMLL

[heartonxions]

Ok . Shadowgear headcanons (+gajeel and Lily probably because they all are besties to me)

My hc on their backstory (spoiler I am projecting my thai-ness on them they are thai (as if I have not said that enough)

Set in the sweltering fiore adjacent thailand country :

Jet’s family being pretty nonchalant,, didnt care what he did when he got home or anything (not necessarily in the neglecting way,, just like he always comes back every night and they trust him way) He loved running with the dogs as a kid and where he got his love of running from. Droy, was a farmer kid (obv) his parents were just a little magic gifted , father with plant manipulation and mother with a small affinity to plant growth. He has basically a farmers tan all of the time (when he started helping in the fields) , naturally was a chubby kid and just grew a lot —> why it’s less noticeably during “canon”. Jet (10)and Droy (11) met when jet raced past Droy’s test crops, ruining them and seeing him tearing up jet immediately apoligized and offered to help replant them. The start of a weird friendship,, sometimes droy would join jet with runs/walks (usually asking for him to slow down and talk about his day instead of trying to keep up with him) they meet levy(10) when they walk into the nearby town and see a little girl sitting at the counter of a restaurant and reading. Being young and wanting to make more friends they go up to her and pester her and she’s very shy. Her kunyai (grandma + honorific in thai) who basically adopted Levy when her parents died in a guild raid of a nearby province when she was v young scolded the two (they’re regulars at the restaurant, there to run errands for her or yk eat lol),, but they were intrigued and didn’t let up their efforts to try and talk to her whenever they saw her. One day they acted like they were fight over her (kunyai initiated it probably) and she snorted out laughing calling them idiots. Thus the start of them fighting over her AS A JOKE (because I hate how they were reduced to that and the bit . Guys I swear it’s a bit),, kunyai was very encouraging about their friendship bc she was anxious that Levy wouldn’t get out of her shell. So they frequently hung out at the restaurant, Droy’s farm, or even Jet’s house.

Droy is actually the leader of the group because Jet and Levy would constantly get into competitions and are just feral. Droy is resident mediator (Thank fucking goodness) ,,,,, Levy is actually mvp but that doesn’t mean that they put her on such a high pedestal (AHEM. LOOKING AT YOU POST GAJEEL CANON)

Jet is the main attacker (?) because of well. His magic ofc.. me and my friend were mulling over potential second origin stuffs and were like AYO what if he can warp/teleport,, fully just disappear and appear stuff… hilarity ensues when he does it for the first time and he doesn’t know how or Why he wants to throw up so bad and oh my god he’s naked —> Droy and Levy running after him with his clothes

Has warped over a cliff edge and warped back accidentally and was like :’D while Levy and Droy just stood there not knowing how to react

Droy is heavy hitting and defense ofcofc (I am talking to myself) with his seed plant thingies he has like impeccable aim

His second origin thingy is that he has a more biologically based connection (?) ex. growing plants from any source ,, tapping into the nature in his surroundings in a way

He does sprout various wildlife on his body now which is cute (his fishtail is now a full ass plant ahoge now I’m not sorry)

Jet has goggles that he has on him at all times in case of extra long running so no bugs get in his eyes

Tans HORRIBLY. Like cannot tan more at all…… he will turn red red and blister horribly

Has 10 sunscreens on him at all time

Had a buzzcut as a kid and it came back during timeskip (it’s a look I swear) and he lets Asuka use little hair dye markers to draw cute flowers and other stuff on his head

Levy was kind of bummed that she wasn’t there to watch him cut it but why care about that when SHES REUNITED WITH HER BOYSSSS (I’m in tears)

HATES needles,, he has only his ears pierced when SG decided to do that when they turned like 10 or something,, BUT . does agree to repierce the matching lip ring (the piercing shop they did it at got infected and closed up,, jet had the most horrific one ,, probably how he got his fear)

This ensues : gajeel finds out and he mentions that he can do it if they want and then by the time it’s jets turn he get really scared bc of his phobia and something something gajeel says some stuff and gives jet some good advice and let’s him talk and then he’s on a tangent and notices gajeel just sitting there. He grins and is like I did it already and jet was like !!! Didn’t even feel it!! And OOUAHWHGAGS JETJEEL FRIENDSHIP START

“Look into my eyes”

“What”

“Just do it omg”

“…….sorry but they freak me out a bit”

“Well DAMN fuck you too.”

Probably happens

Gajeel asks why he’s freaked out when Levy was fine with it and Jet is like it’s because she has a CrUUuUUUuuUuSH on you and hes like what is . a crush again? and jet is flabbergasted

Droyjeel friendship start is when he accidentally making a poisonous plant pie and he gives it to gajeel and this is like the first time the both of them has interacted after the laxus thing and droys like .. i remember you said u.. ate so many poisoinous plants as a kid ,,,,,, and i was trying out a new recipe ok??? and then he walks back to his table and he's like uuuughh gajeel probably thinks im a weirdo i shouldn't have ddone that,, and then levy and jet laugh at him and motion tback to gajeel and she is CHOWING DOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN and like glaring at everyone who even looks at the pie

Droy’s eyelashes change colors with the seasons :)

Jet can breakdance <3

Jet is the 12 year old boy that wears shorts in the winter

SG all kisses eachother

Levy and Droy are the ones to go OOOOOO over a plant they’ve seen in books/heard about while Jet stands there and tries to not poison himself on berries

Levy has a weirdass thing where is she’s in the vicinity of any raw fish/meat she is on that in seconds

She has gotten sick but does that stop her ? No… girl please

She has the worst diet ever . Because she gets sucked into work so much that she forgets to eat and/or eats almost anything she can get her hands on without fail because 1. Hungry 2. Willpower

Raw fish is just so tantalizing to her that jet and droy have to flying tackle her down whenever they go fishing

Jet is actually really good at spy/infiltration missions because he can bluff like crazy when his life/job depends on it anddd he’s super fast and can get out of the situation quickly

Jet in a suit

Levy in a suit

Droy in a suit

Gajeel in a dress

That is it. For now >:)

[puppy-phum]

5 Songs Tag - QL Shows Edition

tagged by vi @feralmuskyscentedhoepran​​ ♥ thank you once more for thinking of me with these cool tag games ^^ 

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL media that you actually listen to.

🎶They do not have to be custom-made for the series. 🎶Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages! 🎶Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested in participating. 🎶Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

all of these will be from thai shows as i mostly pick up songs from those. i've also been watching mainly thai shows lately so i don't have much else to choose from, sorry...

I. ข้างกัน (City) - Fourth Nattawat and Gemini Norawit (Cover) My School President OST / Original by Three Man Down

To be honest, I love both the original version and this cover from MSP. The cover just holds double the meaning. It is both part of TinnGun’s story – their first meeting, their beginning, the reason why Tinn fell for Gun and why they fit together now – and PuenTalay's story in their own universe. It connects these two universes too, and that is why I’m so fond of it. Also, Gemini and Fourth make this song sound even softer than it already is. (My other favorites from MSP ost are Healing, Let Me Tell You, and the cover of Just Being Friendly, tho the whole soundtrack is just phenomenal.)

II. ใครคลั่งรักกว่ากัน (Madly in Love) - Jimmy Jitaraphol and Sea Tawinan Our Skyy 2 x Vice Versa OST

This song is so very PuenTalay but also so JimmySea. It’s extremely soft, romantic, a little playful, cute, and just loving all the way around. It compliments both of their voices and styles, and just makes me super happy. The lyrics are nice too. My favorite part is the one where Jimmy changes the way he sounds in the chorus (Idk what to call it sorry). It’s towards the end of the song. It’s just super cool somehow and very addicting.

III. คลาด (Over the Moon) - Khaotung Thanawat The Eclipse OST

Absolutely obsessed with this song. One of the best theme songs a BL has ever had, hands down. Truly lived up to the hype I got from hearing this song in the mock up trailer. I love Khaotung’s voice, the visuals in the MV, the lyrics, the instrumental. Overall just a perfect song for me specifically. (To be fair, The Eclipse has had two of my favorite soundtracks with this and their Our Skyy 2 song. Instant hits, no question.)

IV. ก่อน - Pchy Dew The Movie OST

I don’t think any other piece of media has ever made me feel the way Dew The Movie does. It was, and still is, simply everything to me. And this song. This song. I cannot put into words how perfect, how wonderful, how special this song is. I cry every time I hear it because it’s just so fully packed with all these feelings I cannot describe. I love it. I love it so much. And for the love of god, if you haven’t watched this movie, go do it right now. 

V. ร้อยล้านวิว (Million views) - Stamp Last Twilight Pilot Trailer 

I don’t know how well this song fits the criteria for this game but I found this lovely thing bc of the Last Twilight trailer and now I cannot get rid of it. It’s been on my playlist ever since this trailer dropped in November and not a day goes by that I don’t listen to it. It’s just so good and always brings me back to these moments. I keep hoping they would keep this song in the show itself or that they will get an OST that sounds similar, instrumental and lyrical wise. Bc my god did this song hit again once I stopped being lazy and looked up a translation for the lyrics. Now I’m crying even more bc of it thanks.

Bonus: พระเอกจำลอง by Getsunova from the Theory of Love OST. One of my eternal favorites. This song just is the show.  Special mentions: These are western songs so I didn’t want to include them to the list itself but I have to mention that Blueming brought me back to sød ven’s music bc they used the song hollow for the show (the beach scenes to be specific). I am forever grateful. Also, I love the songs both Not Me and Never Let Me Go used in their soundtracks, specifically this one and this one (both are instrumental as these shows have made me appreciate instrumentals a lot more too).

Tagging: @dimpledpran​​ @snimeat​​ @wanderlust-in-my-soul​​ @dragonsareawesome123​​ @oswlld​​ @leonpob​​ @stormyoceans​​ @ayan-sukkhapisit​​ @nongnaos​​ ♥ 

[becauseimanicequeen]

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Two Worlds ep. 6

I’m hoping for more Khram and Thai moments in this episode, but I also want some more of Jao and Wayu. I want to see them bond… and fight… but mostly bond. And, let’s see how the whole Thai and the gang situation will play out. Or if they’re going to get closer to the truth about who’s after Phupha…

Thai and Khram are still starving. I don’t blame them.

Oh, it was a flashback. But, still…

Khram needs to up his lying game.

Khram: “We match.” Exactly what I thought when I saw them dressed up like that in those colors.

This venue looks popping in those contrasting colors (blue and orange).

Wayu is right. Jao just needs to find someone new. And the new guy is sitting right there! He’s literally staring you in the face! Come on, Jao, put down the alcohol and focus. (Or continue drinking and get into a drunken rendezvous, that’s cool too.)

Why do I get the feeling Wayu is already interested in Jao?

Every time someone says “It’s about my friend,” they’re talking about themselves.

Let’s see how long Thai is actually going to let Khram take care of himself. I mean, if this Khram is the one that gets caught in that cage/trap, the one in the preview for this episode, then it won’t be that long, I guess. But that scene might also be Thai’s backstory (meaning it’s his Khram). And if that’s so, it might take a bit longer before they get together again.

I’m pretty sure Khram will (or already did) refuse to go with Phupha. I honestly think their conversation at the party made Khram realize that pursuing Phupha wouldn’t be a good idea.

Damn, that painting is exactly the same as the one this Khram did in his own world.

So, it is backstory… Are we getting a condensed telling of their love story?

Damn, that tiger is beautiful.

Okay, so this is interesting. We’ve seen this Phupha have flashes of memories from the other Phupha’s life before. And now I think the same might happen to this Khram having flashes from Thai’s Khram’s life. However, I think they might be different since the Khram in the flashback from 3 years ago seemed to “link up” with the Khram from the present. So, what if (I’m just going to spin a delulu theory here)... What if this Khram somehow “links up” with the Khram from three years ago and this Khram turns out to be the reason Thai falls in love with him?

Yes, let’s find a dimly lit place to hide from the rain and thunder so we can get cozy.

Shirtless Thai!

Yes, Thai, give Khram some body heat.

Shitless Thai again!

OMG! He’s proposing!

Well, you can’t deny that these two are great kissers. No dead fish kisses in sight, and I’m so happy.

The fact that Max can kneel and still reach Nat’s chest with his lips made me cackle. Sorry, I had to mention that. Got to rewind now and focus on the actual scene…

Shirtless Thai again, again!

Thank you for the pan over Max’s exposed chest and pecks. I didn’t know I would be visiting heaven today. But, here I am…

I have to admit, I’m rather jealous of Nat for having the privilege of kissing Max’s bottom lip…

Well, that was… I’m not quite sure how I feel about this episode. I mean, it was good (I love Max and Nat’s chemistry). However, at the same time, it felt like a “filler” episode. Unless there actually is a link between both Khrams and that the link might turn out to be vital for the story. Maybe I went into this episode expecting too much…

Also, I’m still stuck on the whole Phupha storyline. When are we getting some progress in the mystery of who’s trying to kill him? Is Khram actually going to go with Phupha to Bangkok and figure out things from there? Did Khram look for Thai to ask him to also go to Bangkok? Questions, questions…

[ryansjane]

I’m so glad you made a post about Sam being toxic. Gap has been a huge disappointment to me because of Sam. I felt like I couldn’t or shouldn’t say anything because it’s our first Thai gl and we should feel grateful but toxic representation does us so much harm. Sam is manipulative and downright cruel to everyone especially Mon. The power dynamic between rich and poor, younger and older, and boss and employee are also a problem. They didn’t they pick just one? There is a lot of coercion in their relationship too - from Sam using her boss status to make Mon stay over her house and in her bed to the bathtub scene in the last episode. Mon was clearly uncomfortable both times (a lot more times) but Sam coerced Mon to get her way. “I’m your boss so do as I say” and “We’re dating now it’s okay.” Also, the last episode really showed how much Sam gaslights Mon and treats her like shit. Firing her publicly and then changing her mind the next day because that was yesterday and she’s the boss so she can do what she wants. Gross. If Sam was a guy, I think more people would be taking about the toxicity between the two but queer women get so few things that we’re just dealing with it because when will we get this again? There’s a MilkLove gl coming but that’s it. Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc will probably cancel the next wlw show they put out. We deserve more.

Sorry for ranting :(

agreed, it's so sad that the series is written that way bc otherwise it could be really good, and also freen & becky have excellent chemistry :( honestly the first few eps of the show really had my heart but lately I spend most of the show wanting to skip scenes bc sam's treatment of mon makes me hella uncomfortable... but to be fair, this is not bc this is a gl, though people overlook it bc it's 2 girls, just like they overlook abuse in bl bc it's 2 guys. but sadly it's more thai drama culture that influenced this choice by the screenwriters, bc thai dramas LOVE their misunderstood, mean & abusive love interests who are actually such good lovers once you get through to them. trust me, I've seen it happen more times than I can count. I'm still happy to see this show consistently get over 1M views in less than 24 hours for each of its episode's part, and I'm happy people are showing up for it, bc I know there is more thai gl to come. you don't have to worry anon, even though western media cancels every wlw content, gl is DEFINITELY on the rise. if the milklove gl is successful, which it most likely will, gmmtv will produce more. also I'm very glad to announce it's NOT the only thai gl coming in 2023! the shows that have been announced so far on top of 23.5 are show me love, reverse 4 you & be my baby! hopefully more will be announced as the year progresses :)

xxx

[portwellbabes]

A Caswell Apology

EJ got up off his very comfortable position on the couch and dragged his feet over to open the front door. Lately, he found it hard to find the motivation to do anything but sulk on his bed or couch.

He went over to open the front door, at first blinded slightly by the sunlight but then surprised to see his cousin at the door. She was shivering and bundled up in a coat, scarf, and gloves. He hadn’t really realized when summer had slowly transitioned into Utah’s typical cold fall weather. Huh, had it been that long since EJ stepped outside his house?

“Oh Ash! Hey, come in.”

Ashlyn smiled at him graciously before stepping into the house, taking off her shoes and many layers.

“Um, it’s a surprise to see you here” EJ mumbled awkwardly, “My parents aren’t really home”

Ashlyn’s heart broke at the fact that EJ assumed she was at his place for his parents and not for him. She really needed to fix things with her cousin.

“No actually, I’m here for you”

EJ tilted his head slightly in confusion. Ashlyn sighed, trying to form a proper apology. But she couldn’t at the moment so she just threw her arms around her cousin, pulling him in for a tight hug. A hug that she should’ve given him months ago, at the beginning of the summer. EJ blinked before reciprocating as he tried to make sense of why his cousin was so troubled.

“Ashlyn, hey. What’s wrong?”

“EJ I’m… I’m so sorry!” she blurted out as her eyes glossed over with tears.

“Sorry? Whatever are you sorry for Ash?”

Ashlyn had broken out into intermittent sobs so EJ pulled her to the couch with one hand behind her back as he massaged her to try and calm her down.

“I’m such a horrible… cousin!” she said in between sobs, “I completely neglected you this whole summer when you needed me the most! I cant believe I didn’t realize- And after everything you do for me!”

EJ looked at her sadly. While he didn’t want to admit it, he had been lacking in his favorite confidant and counselor or a cousin this whole summer. Although he had Val by his side to keep him sane, Ashlyn knew a lot about the relationship he and his father had which he hadn’t told anyone. But if EJ ever felt neglected, he definitely did not show it.

“Hey, hey, look at me. You are not a horrible cousin Ashlyn. You had your own things going own this summer, with Maddox and Val and stuff” EJ spoke softly, squeezing her hand.

Ashlyn chuckled, “Why are you like this Eej?”

EJ tilts his head away from her, confused at her comment.

“Why are you so nice?” she blurts out exasperately. “You make excuses for people’s actions towards you even if they don’t deserve it. You put everyone’s needs above everyone else. You forgive too easily. Eej this why your dad takes control of your life! This is why you and Gina-“

EJ raises his eyebrows, letting go of Ashlyn’s hand. She immediately stops herself, looking at him concerned. A wave of guilt washes over her as she scrambles to stop EJ from punishing himself for the downfall of his relationship.

“I didn’t mean that… you were not- are not why Gina broke up with you.. it was“ she looks at EJ’s eyes avoiding hers and takes his hand in hers, “either way, she didn’t deserve you Eej.”

EJ looks up at her with shock in his eyes

“Ash, she’s your best friend”
“And you’re my cousin”

He looks at her dumbfounded as Ashlyn continues.

“I know she’s my best friend and my roommate but that doesn’t mean she can’t make mistakes. And the way she treated your relationship wasn’t right. I mean I can’t even imagine what it would feel like if Big Red strung me along in a relationship while he had feelings for someone else. I should’ve realized that. I shouldn’t have…” she looks up at him sadly, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you that day during rehearsals. And in front of everyone, too.”

“I forgive you”

Ashlyn looks up at him, “Really?”

“I do”

“Thank you, Eej”

Ashlyn wraps EJ in a hug, as he hugs her back with a soft smile on his face.

“Now what do you say we go out for some thai food? I could use a trip to the other side of this door” he joked.

Ashlyn chuckled, “Yeah you kinda lost touch of society in these last couple months. Plus it would be nice to spend some time with my favorite cousin”

“Let me take a quick shower and I’m all yours, Ash”

Ashlyn smiled at him as he got up off the couch. As he was walking back upstairs he stopped at the foot of the stairs with a slight smirk on his face. Without turning to look at her he said, “maybe then you can fill me in on your little ‘discovery’ with my good friend Val?”

“Eej!!” she exclaimed, blushing furiously as he laughed running upstairs. Ashlyn shook her head with a smile on her face, proud to see her cousin’s obnoxious yet charming self back. And she knew then that no matter what, they would be okay.

A little redemption for Ashlyn after she very publicly outed her cousin in ep 3.05 🫢

[cheekyoreo]

Yeah, right, team orders, right, Jorge pole is team order, Enea and Jack hard racing Pecco are team orders,… I too am a Fabio fan but this sh— is just ridiculous. Ducati became more superb as the season went on, Yamaha became weaker, so did Aprilia, that happened. Pecco won 6 races compared to 3 of Fabio. That championship was won fair and square. Stop with all that tEaM oRdeRs bu—sh— and start focusing on next season, it’s definitely harder now that Ducati has another super competitive driver in their lineup, Marc will be healthy again, Fabio needs all the support he can to win that championship back.

yeah team orders when zarco had far better rythm than pecco at the thai gp and he didn’t overtake him to secure the most points for pecco

poles can’t be team orders and jorge (or any other ducati) can get pole if they make the best time like sorry but i honestly don’t understand this point, i mean the only way for pecco to always get pole was for ducati to trap their other riders inside their garages and somehow getting every other motogp rider trapped too like come on

as for enea and jack hard racing pecco i’m only going to say they are riders too and this is supposed to be a sport where riders overtake each other when they have the chance because otherwise we’re babying riders, and today the championship only faltered for pecco when he bumped into fabio, no other rider moved in a way that put him at risk of falling at all

i never said ducati was bad because i’m not blind and the yamaha has been absolute shit this year, but what’s there is there, and it was a combination of things that made pecco champion and one of them was team orders

i’m gonna say whatever i want to say about this season and i will always try to be respectful, just because my opinions are not your own doesn’t mean mine are bullshit

and to wrap this up, team fabio and team marc always

[sochilll]

October 17 - “It’s not even that cold!”

Day 16 Day 18 All Days (Prompt list)

Evan was that kind of cold where your fingers go numb and trying to warm them up just hurts. If it rained right now, it would probably snow. But Jared’s car was a piece of shit, so they were outside anyway.

“You’ve put more money into fixing that thing than it would cost to just buy a new car.” Evan huffed.

“Don’t ever speak ill of Doris again.” Jared held up a finger. “She’s a trooper.”

“She just fucking died on a ten minute drive.” Evan pointed out. Luckily, they were only a few blocks from Jared’s apartment when Doris gave out on them.

“She just needs a little TLC and she’ll be fine.” Jared assured him.

“She needs to go to the scrap yard for making us walk home in freezing temperatures.”

“It’s not even that cold!” Jared rolled his eyes. “You’re such a baby.”

Evan glared at him.

“It’s nice out.” Jared went on.

“It’s like ten degrees!” Evan yelled. He rubbed his hands together.

They came to a stop at a crosswalk, waiting for the light to change.

“Here.” Jared took Evan’s hands in his and rubbed vigorously. It did bring some of the feeling back but it faded as soon as Jared let go.

“Thanks that did nothing.” Evan grumbled, sticking his hands into his pockets.

“Well sorry.” Jared rolled his eyes. “Remind me never to help you again.”

They crossed the street and then, thankfully, Jared’s apartment building was only a few feet away. Evan was immediately enveloped by warmth from the heater blasting in the lobby.

“Yes. Warm.” He stood there, being slowly roasted.

“Come on.” Jared shoved him toward the elevator.

They rode up four floors. It wasn’t nearly as warm inside Jared’s apartment but it was enough that Evan stopped shivering and was starting to get the feeling back in his hands. He sat on the couch, rubbing his hands together while Jared went to the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot.

“How long are you staying?” He called.

Evan shrugged. “I work in the afternoon tomorrow so… I don’t know. I was gonna-“ He faltered as he felt a blanket being settled around his shoulders. Jared didn’t acknowledge it, just kept walking like that was a normal thing to do. Evan struggled to continue talking like that hadn’t completely and totally thrown him off. “Gonna, um, I was gonna leave around five or six so I can make dinner when I get home.”

“You can eat here.” Jared offered. “But you have to pay for half since we’ll have to get something delivered.”

Evan nodded, pulling the blanket tighter around him. “Sure. That’s fine.”

“Cool.” Jared dropped onto the couch. “What do you want?” He pulled up the maps app so he could see what was nearby.

“It’s like three. We don’t have to decide now.”

“Well it’s gonna take us at least two hours of arguing to pick a place.” Jared said.

That was true. Evan scooted closer so he could see Jared’s phone. Jared scrolled through the list, reading off restaurants and fast food places. Occasionally one of them would say “maybe” or “anything but that.”

Jared stopped suddenly.

“Run out?” Evan asked.

Jared started slightly. “No. I was-no.” He cleared his throat and continued reading.

Evan was about to ask what had happened when he realized it for himself. They were sitting too close together. As in, Evan’s legs were almost on top of Jared’s. As in, their shoulders were pressed together. As in, the blanket plus Jared’s body heat was making Evan start to sweat.

He shifted away casually, meaning: he violently flinched away from Jared.

Jared looked at him. “The fuck? What?”

Evan just stared at him, unsure how to explain his reaction. “There was a spider.”

Jared continued to stare. “What?”

“There was a spider.” Evan repeated.

“Where?”

“On… you.”

Jared squinted. “Why are you talking like a robot?”

“I am not.” Evan said like a robot. He ignored Jared’s pointed look. “I’m being normal.”

“You’ve never been normal in your life.” Jared shook his head, turning back to his phone and releasing Evan from his interrogation. “I’m ordering from the Thai place.”

“Now?”

“No. At like six.” Jared zoomed in on the menu. “I’m assuming you want fried rice? You can get a zero on the spice meter.” He teased.

“I like a little spice.” Evan kicked him softly. “Give me like… a four.”

“Embarrassing. I’m getting a nine.”

“You’re gonna regret that.”

“I am not!” Jared leaned toward him. “I can handle the heat.”

Evan’s face flushed. “Well I guess I can’t.” He ducked his head.

Jared looked at him for a minute. “Hey look at me.”

“Why?”

“Look at me.”

Evan looked at him.

Jared studied him for a moment. “I’m getting you a three.”

“What? No! I want a four.”

“So you now you claim you can handle the heat?” Jared shook his head. “You need to get your story straight.”

“You fluster me.”

“What?”

“What?”

“You just said I fluster you.”

“No.” Evan’s face was on fire. “Frustrate. I said you frustrate me.”

“You definitely didn’t.” Jared was grinning. “Aww do I make you nervous?”

“No! You make me full of violent rage.” Evan grumbled, kicking him a little harder than before.

“And that’s what the best relationships are built on.”

“Shut up.” Evan pouted. The embarrassment was fading and the argumentative annoyance was back. “We’d be the worst couple ever.”

“I’m sure there’d be worse couples.”

“We’d be top five at least.”

“With a little effort we could beat the other worse ones.” Jared flipped his position suddenly. “We could be the world’s worst couple!”

“Is that… something you want to achieve?”

“Kind of. It’s nice to be the best at something.”

Evan laughed. “I don’t think we’d actually be that bad.”

“No?”

“No. We’d be okay. We might even be good.”

“Is that… something you want?”

“Being in a good relationship? I mean-“

“Being in a relationship with me.”

Evan froze. He could feel Jared’s eyes on him.

“Is it something you-“

“Nope. I asked you first.”

Evan sank down in the couch. “I don’t… not want it.”

“Cool.” Jared turned back to his phone.

Cool? That was all he got? Cool? That was bullshit. That wasn’t fair. He should say something. He should punch Jared.

“So fried rice spice level four.” Jared said. “And I guess I’ll buy.”

“I thought I had to buy half?” Evan’s anger was undercut by confusion.

“Implying I’m not a gentleman? That I wouldn’t pay on a first date?”

“First… date.” Evan repeated dumbly.

“Yes.” Jared said. And that was that.

“Can you get me a drink too?” Evan tested the waters of this strange situation.

Jared huffed. “Jesus you’re an expensive date.” But Evan saw him add Evan’s favorite soda to the cart.

Evan smiled. Jared bumped his knee into Evan’s. “You’re buying on the second date.”

“That’s fair I guess.”

Jared looked over. “I’m going to be a very expensive second date.”

“Then I’m going to be a very expensive third date.”

Jared grinned. “Correct response.” He patted Evan’s knee and turned back to his phone.

[mt-musings]

Bluebell

Chapter 15

After being abruptly transferred to the BAU at what she suspects was Gideon's request, Cassie Boann struggles to find her footing. Shy and solitary by nature, the transition is made all the more difficult when Dr. Spencer Reid seems to take an almost immediate dislike to her. Unfortunately for them both, their respective areas of expertise leave them paired off more often than not. But when Cassie's past literally starts hunting her, Spencer is forced to consider that he might, in fact, not hate her at all.

Quite the opposite, actually.

Spencer Reid x OC

Warnings: Canon typical violence, kidnapping, stalking, drug use, blood, injury, death, PTSD, eventual smut, more tags to be added

Series Masterlist

Read on AO3

15. And She Was

Cassie didn’t know when their sporadic hangouts had become a ‘thing,’ as Derek so eloquently put it. When they’d started sitting next to each other and blathering away on their ride home on the metro instead of reading on opposite sides of the train car. When they’d taken to grabbing dinner together more often than not after a late night at the office. When they’d gravitated towards the couch on the plane so Spencer could beat her so badly at cards. 

When they’d become friends. 

She wasn’t complaining though—it was nice to spend her Friday nights seeing arthouse movies instead of pouring over crime scene photos, to have someone to share a meal with that wasn’t Chuck, who now wore the ugliest Christmas sweater she could find in honor of the season. 

Still, it didn’t stop the guilt. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t letting her parents’ case fall by the wayside, she couldn’t halt the nagging guilt that every minute perusing bookstores or getting Thai food or sitting on Spencer’s couch was a minute not spent hunting down their killer. 

“Cass!”

She looked up to see Spencer waving at her from across the street. He wore a long woolen coat and gloves, a long woolen scarf draped over top more as an accessory than anything else. His horned-rimmed glasses glinted in the winter sun, his wide smile evident even from a distance. She waved back, saving her progress on her laptop before slipping it back in her bag. 

It wasn’t as if she had stopped looking. She’d just started living too. 

“Sorry I’m late, the Red Line was a disaster.”

“It’s fine, I had evidence to look over.”

“You know overworking leads to cardiac issues and lowered productivity.”

“Shut up, you sound like Gideon.”

Spencer just laughed. “You’re just upset I’m right.”

Cassie rolled her eyes, making a face as she mimicked him. It only made Spencer laugh harder. 

“Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.”

“If we stand out here not more minute my fingers are going to fall off.”

“It’s like you’ve never heard of winter,” Spencer said, pulling off his scarf to wrap it around her. She stiffened looking up at him with wide eyes.

“What?”

“You hate germs.”

“You’re cold.”

“Spencer—“

“Come on, I thought your fingers were falling off. It’s only a couple more blocks to the restaurant.” 

---

The tavern was rather small, but cozy, lit mostly by fake candle-esque lighting scattered about. It had a fire roaring in the large stone fireplace, an antique kettle hung from the mantle. Cassie had heard about it from Ayesh, who’d told her they had ‘the lamest open mic nights he’d ever heard.’ Which turned out to mean it was a favorite spot for the nearby Conservatory students to perform more classical work. 

Spencer watched Cassie warm her hands over her cup of mulled wine, her face still red from the cold. She’d shucked off her black peacoat—at least she’d worn a proper coat this time instead of her old, oversized corduroy jacket that might have started out some sort of burgandy but had faded to somewhere closer to raspberry. Though he could tell it couldn’t be nearly as warm as the weather called for, it was far too thin. He got the feeling she wasn’t a big shopper, especially the it came to anything casual. She had about six outfits she wore in various combination outside of cases, nearly all of them well-worn to some extent. 

He didn’t think it was so much that she wasn’t one for fashion, it was more that she had a pathological aversion to caring for herself beyond the most basic sense. The fact that she’d put on weight since they’d started regularly hanging out—healthy, much needed weight—told him that if left to her own devices she had a disordered eating schedule at best. Paired with her constant training—he’d put her body fat somewhere under 13%. 

That was probably a big factor in why she was always so cold. 

He remembered her reaction when he’d wrapped his scarf around her—he hadn’t been thinking of anything except the way she was trying to hide her shivering, but she’d been worried about his own aversion to germs. Had he done anything he wouldn’t have done for anyone on the team? Granted, they all seemed to dress warm enough for the cold, but it was simply a kind gesture of a friend. 

Nothing more. 

He wished it sounded a little more convincing, at least in his head.

“…so then after primary decomposition, they sever the head from the spinal column, cover it in a plaster compound and mold it into the shape of the deceased’s face, incorporating bits of shell and other precious items to serve as eyes. These were incredibly intricate burial masks, depicting facial hair, defining features. Mind you, then they bury them back under the kitchen floor in most cases.”

“I think I missed something,” Spencer said, blinking rapidly. Cassie just grinned.

“You were day-dreaming so I wanted to see how far into Levantian burial practice I could get before you tuned back in.”

“Sorry, I didn’t—”

“Don’t be sorry, I was just teasing you.”

He couldn’t help but meet her smile with his own. 

“So how’s your dissertation going? I can’t imagine you’ve had much time to work on it with our caseload lately.”

Cassie made a face, taking a large sip of her second glass of wine. “You sound like Dr. Garvey.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes. No. Depends.”

“Because you don’t want to defend it yet?”

“Don’t profile me.”

“I’m not, I’m just—I know it’s a really nerve-wracking process and I just thought if you wanted someone to read it over and practice I could help you out.”

“It’s just not there yet, you know? And—I don’t want it getting out at work that I’m working on it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t want them to think I’m not serious about my position at the BAU and it doesn’t really have anything to do with work. It’s just something I do for myself, you know?”

“No, not at all. I think everyone would be pretty impressed—“

“Just please, don’t tell them? I know it’s stupid, I just—I want to keep that part of my life separate. I know it doesn’t seem like a big distinction, but it is for me.”

“Yeah, of course. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t. I just—I like the distance of archaeology. The emotional distance. I don’t get that kind of detachment at work. In the lab it’s a puzzle that no one’s been able to figure out and in the field—in the field half the times it feels like being up to your elbows in the consequences of failure. It’s finding every piece of horror the victim was put through and knowing the terror, the pain that filled them in their last moments.”

“Doesn’t that weigh on you? I mean—Dr. Garvey told me he’d have you running the unidentified collection by the time you were thirty if he had his way. It’s clear that you’re incredible at what you do—why put yourself through the trauma a of all that over and over?”

“Because I hopefully can prevent more bodies from ending up on my table. Because their stories deserve to be told, their identities confirmed. Because I know what that type of fear is like, what it does to a person.”

She broke off, her gaze shifting to something far away, her brow furrowed. He saw a flash of her blood-soaked face after she burst out of the forest in Whitefish, of the dozens of jagged scars that littered her skin. He reached out without thinking and grabbed her hand across the table, dwarfing it in his own. She looked up at that, seemingly shaking herself from her thoughts.

“The Smithsonian also won’t issue me a gun, which I think is pretty lame.”

She gave him a big, over dramatic eye roll, one side of her mouth quirking up. Spencer snorted, shaking his head. 

“I am very clearly Rick and they want me to be Evie.”

---

They found themselves meandering down the road after, aimlessly heading towards the Red Line. Spencer had insisted that she keep his scarf for the night and she’d promised to have it dry cleaned, which he’d insisted wasn’t necessary. 

Cassie was filled with a warm fuzzy feeling that was just as likely to be the three glasses of wine she’d enjoyed with dinner as it was the easy comfort that Spencer’s presence had become. 

More so. It was definitely the wine. 

She stopped abruptly in front of the Warner theatre, lit up for the night’s performance. It hardly looked different from her childhood, the same grey stone and art deco lighting. The marquee was advertising The Firebird. Spencer stopped a few paces ahead, circling back, brow raised. 

“My mother was the Firebird here, many years ago. That was how she met my father.”

“Your mother was a ballerina?”

“In Kiev. She was very talented—the Bolshoi Ballet wanted her desperately but she defected while they were on tour. She danced for the Washington Ballet for the rest of her career.”

“That’s how you speak Russian and Ukrainian.”

She nodded. “Both my parents were Soviet defectors, but my mother never wanted me to lose that heritage. There was no love lost between the old country and my father, but my mother—my mother missed it, I think. Missed Kiev, missed her family. But she loved my father and I, loved the life we were able to have in America.”

She laughed, using the moment to brush away the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. They were just as soon replaced by others, and she dropped her head to try and hide them. 

“Hey,” Spencer said, hesitating a moment before wrapping her in a hug. She stiffened at his touch before melting into him, burying her face in his chest. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I just—I must have had too much wine.”

“I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

“I know, Spence, but I can’t,” she said as she pulled away. She gave him a trembling smile. “I really had a great night. I wish I could stay out but I really have to go home.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? I can walk you back—“

“I’m fine, Spence, please don’t worry about me. It was more than enough that you listened.”

She turned quickly on her heel before he could see the next wave of tears, before the trembling took over and she truly lost it. The marquee has hit her like a ton of bricks, knocking her so far asunder—

And Spencer had hugged her, just held her as she ruined the wool of his coat with her tears, as she made a scene in front of all the passerby’s. 

God, he must think her an idiot.

It’s what she deserved, for bringing up her mother. For not feigning that she had stopped to tie her shoe and swallowing down all the memories, all the grief that came with it. 

This was why she didn’t go out, didn’t get close with anyone—she couldn’t let down walls or else everything would just come tumbling out, destroying everything she’d managed to build in their shadows. 

She managed to get back to her apartment before she fell apart entirely. She did little more than make sure each of the five locks on the door was locked before she tugged off her jacket and buried herself in her bed. She sobbed like she hadn’t sobbed in months, in years until she ran out of tears and she couldn’t hold her eyes open. 

It was only then that she remembered Spencer’s scarf was still wrapped around her neck, the soft wool of it retaining his scent—like wood and old books and coffee, always coffee. She pulled it off, folding it gently so as not to ruin it. 

She placed it on the empty pillow on the other side of the bed before curling back into a ball and letting sleep finally take her. 

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