#i have a bunch of thoughts on this but eh better leave them for another day or post

[general-cyno]

That monster is your brother, right?

[n0n-sen-se]

💌 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐊𝐍𝐘 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐫. . .

includes ;; genya, muichiro content ;; pure fluff. a/n ;; stresstember eh? the perfect time to indulge in some adorable escapism! (´｡• ◡ •｡`) ♡

☆☆☆ # genya shinazugawa !

genya regularly receives check-ups at the Butterfly Mansion, thus you tend to bump into him a ton!

this is where things start to take a turn. . . he stops getting so angry and quick to shut you down. . . and instead, he starts watching you train a little more, keeping idle tabs on your schedule, daydreaming of you when he should be focusing on training. . .

then it hits him:

he's got a crush ?!

to this boy love literally feels lethal.

he can't function. at all. he's unable to stand or talk to you for more than a few seconds without becoming flustered and wracked with nerves.

so loving you from afar is the simplest-easiest option.

he stares a ton, and tries hard not to get caught.

daydreams when he shouldn't- and at the worst times- you can only get punched in the face while training so many times before you start to wonder if having a crush is really worth it.

i'm pretty sure anyone could see the reason this quick-tempered boy suddenly turns shy when he's around you.

and he hates admitting it. (what is he supposed to do? he's never been in love before?)

there are times when he's 100% undoubtably sure that you're busy- or far, far away from the scene of the crime. . . he'll sneak into your room (after double checking that the coast is clear, again) he'll leave a few wildflowers next to your nightstand.

just the thought that he's showing romantic affection towards you has his heart palpitating. . . even if it is, technically indirect.

has him paranoid as hell, like somehow even after all his precautions, you'll just know it was him. if you suspect him, or bring it up, he'll vehemently deny everything.

(whenever he leaves flower btw, it'll be up to a week before he works up the courage to bring another bunch, and in between he tries to garner the courage to talk to you. . . without success)

he'd actually get pretty comfortable with this scenario, and eventually saves up enough to produce a small vase to hold all the flowers.

and it feels like the biggest step yet!

its a painfully simple pot, and he feels he could do better, but he's tied a woven red string around the neck to help. . . at least a little.

you know. . . in the future he could tie notes to it. the thought has his ears burning red hot, and he flees the scene just as quickly.

☆☆☆ # muichiro tokito !

honestly, it doesn't fully occur to him that he is a secret admirer at first.

he just one day happens to notice you because you caught his eye. nothing in particular, there was just something. . . bright about your presence.

your eyes? your smile? who could really say. all he knows is that your very interesting to look at when you're around.

even your voice catches his attention, like the sound of bells to his ears. its calming and also so alluring? how are you able to charm him like this?

the couple times you caught him staring he looked away quickly, then he starts wondering why he's afraid of being caught?

that's when the idea of an idea starts to form in his head.

a crush!

honestly, i think he'd smile to himself at the thought. its all very confusing and all very new and exciting!

he'd stare a ton and try to be subtle. . . but then fail at that too. (at this point he's just standing beside a tree rather than behind it?)

muichiro gifts you things that remind him of you: things that are eye-catching and interesting to him.

. . . something that holds his attention as much as you do. . .

mostly things he's found, like the shiniest shells or rocks, broken ornaments or porcelain he's found. the best would probably be a tiny pearl he. . . acquired.

instructs his crow to deliver them to you, which in turn means you get hit in the head with said object- you don't need a more obvious clue to know that his crow hates. your. guts. (don't worry she's just a little jealous)

at first, he completely forgets that he's sent anything to you at all.

until he see's you holding them and it all connects.

silently hopes you to make the connection too. and i don't think he'd mind being caught at all. (its kind of like a fun game he's playing, that subsequently causes the faintest blush to appear across the bridge of his nose)

thinks about you maybe a bit too much, and starts to get excited at the prospect of being in love or a relationship! what would it be like to hold your hand, or even have all of your attention for once? (now he's just smiling up at the clouds like an adorable idiot)

if he writes anything (a note?) its just doodles and drawings he's done that he then hands over to his crow to deliver.

actually very fond of leaving you snacks too. . . or straight up offering to share while (innocently) asking you what ❛all those things in your hands❜ are.

[spookyrea]

face of gold, heart of coal (my cross to bear, baby!)

You and Loki have an agreement - just sex with absolutely no feelings. None. Nu-uh. Zero.

(Unfortunately you both signed that agreement with your fingers crossed)

Word count: ~2k

Warnings: fem reader - plot? what plot? p-i-v sex, oral (f receiving), hate sex (kind of. 'hate' if the definition of hate was 'longing so profound it makes you mad'.)

“If only our team could see you right now. Whoring yourself out to me. Your big, bad villain.”

“Not so bad,” you bit out. “You’re nothing but a lap dog.”

“Boo. Another lazy insult,” he snorted. “Big, though?”

He pulled your hand down to palm at the length of him, straining against the fabric of his trousers. You shrugged, even as your thighs clenched in anticipation. “Eh.”

Loki laughed, closing his mouth over yours in a wet kiss. “I seem to recall you singing a different song a few days ago.”

“Your memory is failing you. Dementia, maybe? That’s pretty common with men your age.”

His upper lip curled. He dropped your wrist to gather your skirt in his hands, hiking it up to your waist. “Hold this,” he commanded.

You bunched the fabric in one hand. With his hands now unoccupied, he traced the inside of your thighs slowly, tipping your hips upwards to get a better look at your clothed mound. Both of his thumbs slid over the cotton fabric of your underwear, reverently in comparison to the way he had demanded your submission. They pressed gingerly, barely pulling your folds apart before pressing them back, working in circular motions around your clit but not quite over it. His eyes were half-lidded, transfixed on the way his fingertips spread wide over your hips, on the twitch of your tense muscles, on how you gave yourself up to him angrily and willingly.

You stifled a whine, hoping he wouldn’t notice - but he did. Loki always noticed; every gasp, every lingering look, every shiver when his hand brushed over yours - he saw it all. He could read you like a book, something that both infuriated and secretly delighted you, to be seen and understood so completely. 

Loki mimicked you, scrunching his face up in a patronizing pout. One hand rose to pinch your cheeks, holding your head still while he pressed a sloppy kiss to your temple. “Oh boo hoo. Woe is me. Please, Loki, have mercy.”

You hissed, digging your knuckles into his abdomen. He laughed in response, dragging his nose across your jaw before sucking a mark under your ear. Your voice came out thready despite your best efforts, a casualty of the way his other hand was drawing figure-eights across your thigh. “You cocky bastard.”

“Careful. You speak to me like that again and I might just leave you wanting.”

“You won’t.”

He dipped his head, laving his tongue over the junction of your shoulder and throat. His thumb slid to the side, tracing the damp seat of your underwear with lazy intent. “I won’t?”

“Nope.” You swallowed another embarrassing sound when the meat of his palm ground against you with delicious friction.

“What makes you so certain?”

You tilted your head; distracted as he was by marking up your throat, his hold on your face had loosened enough for you to get your lips around the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger. You scraped your teeth over the delicate skin, delighting in how his body tensed against you. “Because you want me just as badly.”

“You’re finally right about something. Looks like you do have some coherent thoughts in that pretty little brain of yours.”

“Asshole.”

“Tsk. Try harder. I’ll make you a deal - if you call me something creative, I’ll let you come tonight.” He pulled away, his head tipped ever so slightly to the left to admire his handiwork. No doubt your lipstick was smeared across your face at this point, considering how it stained his pale skin from the tip of his nose to the sharp point at the corner of his jaw. “I warn you though, mortal, I’ve been alive for many centuries. I’ve heard it all.”

“Monster,” you tried.

“Old news.”

“Duplicitous snake.”

“Boring.”

“Evil, traitorous coward.”

“It’s starting to look like tonight will only be about me, little thing.” Loki grinned, sliding the tail of his belt through the buckle. It fell open with a clatter against his thigh as he worked the zipper of his slacks down and pushed on your free hand, urging you to take him in your fist and pump him slowly.

“Lover,” you spit.

He paused. “Excuse me?”

“I said ‘lover’.” Even without his hand guiding yours, you drew your hand back and forth in lazy tugs, arousal pooling, hot and wanting, at the way his stomach jumped, muscles visible through his open shirt. “What a pathetic god. To love a human.”

His eyes crawled down, then back up the length of your body. Slowly, achingly slowly, he slipped from your grasp and sank to his knees in front of you. “Truly debased.”

You ran your fingers through his damp curls, heavy with the humidity of want. “It’s sad, really.”

He tapped the back of your calf, shouldering your leg until you draped it over his back, and pressed a loud kiss to your lower belly. “Clever girl.”

Loki pulled your panties to the side; you would have been embarrassed by the threads of arousal clinging to them if it wasn’t for the way his expression darkened, a clear reverence rolling off of him while his thumb slid over you, pulling your folds apart to get a better look. His pretty eyes were awash with desire, burning a hot and syrupy trail as they traveled from the mess between your thighs to your face.

You smoothed a curl out of his eyes and watched him tip his head, pressing a loud kiss just beside your clit. He took his time teasing his mouth over you, alternating between licking long stripes and sliding sloppy kisses over slick, heated skin. The hand around your thigh clutched you in a bruising grip, holding you against his shoulder like you might slip away if he let go. His other hand slipped between his own legs and worked slowly up and down his cock.

You tipped your head back against the wall. “You’re enjoying this.”

His grip tightened. “Shut up.”

Loki squeezed his eyes tight, desperation clear in the way he tipped his head for a better angle. He closed his lips around your clit and sucked, pulling a thready gasp from your chest. You felt a familiar coil between your hips, winding and winding as he worked you more urgently; occasionally you felt his forearm bump against your shin while he pumped his cock in time with rolls of your hips.

You grew delirious. Your legs shook, struggling to hold you upright. You planted your hand on his shoulder for support, back bowing off the wall with the force of your impending orgasm. Loki laughed against you, the sound humming over your skin in the most delicious way. 

You found no relief in his mouth; he seemed only to wind you higher and higher but never to the edge. Your chest heaved, pleasure turning desperate and achy. You pushed on his forehead, tears welling in the corners of your eyes. “Stop. Loki, it’s not… I need…”

He paused, his mouth still pressed against you. His eyes scanned yours curiously, brimming with mischief, before he gave one final flick of his tongue. You clenched, hissing through your teeth, and squirmed away. His shoulders shook with laughter under your leg. Loki turned his cheek into your thigh and drew his wet chin across your skin, leaving an uncomfortable sticky path in his wake.

“Get -” Your order stuttered and died on your tongue when he bit down on your hip. “Get back up here.”

“So bossy.”

“You want me so bad, Laufeyson.”

“So, so badly,” he hummed mockingly.

You let him nudge his way between your legs, lining his hips up with yours to guide himself inside you. There was an initial pressure, that familiar press before your body yielded to him and he slid down to the hilt. 

He groaned once his hips met yours and, privately, you agreed. There was something electric about him, as if he had rewritten the polarity of your nerves so they yearned in his direction. He was an asshole - arrogant, stubborn, untrusting - but there was such an aching kindness in the way his fingers trailed over your skin that it left you feeling raw and oozy. 

A self-deprecating laugh hissed through his teeth when your fingers wound through the curls at the back of his skull. Very quietly, he murmured something against your skin.

“What was that?”

“I said I hate you.”

“Right.” His hips rolled against you slowly, testing you. “Come on, lover,” you goaded him on. “Fuck me like you hate me.”

He groaned. “One day you’ll let me make love to you.” 

You gasped when he thrust into you, jolting you up the wall. He set a brutal pace, tugging your body down onto him with every sharp jerk of his hips. You twined your arms around his neck for support and tried to leverage your weight against him, shifting so he was angled to bump against that soft spot inside you that made your knees buckle. The sob that ripped through you when he finally connected seemed to spur him on, working him into a frenzy.

“One day you’ll let me do this in a bed. In my bed. No, actually, in our bed. Now, tell me what you feel.” Loki punctuated the order with a kiss, though you were both moving too much to get any further than a brush of open, panting mouths.

You nodded dumbly. “It’s- it’s good. So- oh, right there. Please.”

“Yes. Beg for me.”

Annoyance turned over in your belly. You scraped your teeth along his jaw. “Asshole.”

Loki pulled your body to a sudden stop, his cock buried to the hilt deep inside of you. His head cocked menacingly to the side.

“Hmm.” He gave an experimental roll of his hips. “You’re lucky you make the most fantastic sounds when you come. And I do so very, very badly want to hear them. So sing. Praise, this time, little mortal.”

His thumb pressed meanly against your clit. Each jerk of his hips against you made you bump against the calloused skin, a delicious but not-quite satisfying pressure. 

“You want me so badly. I could have you eating out of the palm of my hand. But I’m merciful. I won’t make you do that.” Loki licked a hot stripe up the side of your throat. “I’ll just fuck you instead. Now come on.”

Your face scrunched up, hands fisting in the back of his shirt. You’d given up on stifling any sounds you made, letting broken, wanton sounds tumble from your mouth with each nudge of his thumb against your clit. Your chest ached, your breaths thready and gasping, barely sucking in air before it escaped you as a squeal or a sigh. Your thighs shook with the force of it all, body gone taut and boneless all at once.

You pulled him in as tightly as you could as you came, burying your nose in his throat, seeking some tether to ground yourself by. It was all too much - too hot, too sweaty, too bright, too good. You needed him to come. You needed him to stay. You needed, needed, needed.

Loki stumbled into his climax and stilled after a few more sloppy thrusts, winding his arms around your back to properly ensnare you. His breath licked over your skin and left goosebumps to rise in its wake.

You stayed tangled like that for an eternity, slowly winding down back to Earth in the other’s arms. Your fingers traced a shy path down his nape while his hands slid up and down your sides placatingly.

Eventually, he set you down on your feet. His hands smoothed down your skirt before tucking himself away in his slacks. Your voice was small as you watched him loop his belt back through the buckle. “I get closer and closer every day.”

“To what? First-degree murder?” He turned his face up to yours, a joking tilt to his brows. Something in your expression gave him pause, the smile melting off of him. He smoothed out the front of his slacks and then put his hand on your shoulders, leveling you with an unreadable look. “Really?”

You nodded mutely, turning your eyes to the floor. He tipped your face up to keep them trained on him.

“Ask me,” you murmured.

“Make love to me, darling.”

You paused, drawing the moment out. “Maybe. If you’re a good boy.”

He sighed, a long-suffering sound. “You vex me.”

[dutifullyscreechingdragon]

Tim Stoker X Archival Assistant!reader

Summary: here you go, some headcanons for our Tim and how your relationship would start, enjoy:)

You first met Tim as an archival Assistant. Your first day on the job.

You were joining a bit later than all the others. You still had some things left to finish at your previous position at the Institute and you do not leave things half done.

Tim's first reaction to you was to flirt. To flirt shamelessly:

"Hey gorgeous, what brings you down to our dark, creepy archives?"

It only escalated from here

You were positively flustered (Tim can have that effect even on the most confident of people. No one stands a chance if Tim uses 100% of his charms)

And eventually, you were rescued by a laughing Sasha:

"Come on, Tim! Leave the girl alone! You don't want to scare away a new Archival Assistant"

"Me? I am positively delightful!" Tim put his had on the heart, pretending to be mortaly wounded by Sasha's statement.

"I can't imagine a universe where I'd be scaring away a girl... Especially this charming" he'd finish winking at you, prompting you to laugh lightly.

"So, an Archival Assistant, eh?" Tim continued in a suave tone

"Starting today, yeah" you replied.

"Alas, my prayers have been answered" Tim raised his arms toward the ceiling "I have been graced with seeing your pretty face each morning!"

His flirting didn't stop. In fact, it escalated exponentially over time

The next morning he would greet you with a pick up line. And then the next morning and the next...

He seemed to have an endless supply of them.

Somehow he managed to not repeat a single one.

Definitely uses cute nicknames on you: sweetheart, darling, babe.

Will sometimes try cringy ones just to get a rise out of you.

You knew Tim's reputation, so took all his flirting attempts with a grain of salt.

"You can't have me seriously believing that Tim, 'I can charm a copier if I put my mind to it' Stoker, actually has feelings for me" you laughed.

Sasha sighed. She has just finished listening to Tim's 'Why cant she believe I have feelings for her? I have been so open and genuine about them' rant.

Tim definitely tries distracting you from your work, preventing you from doing anything productive. Any chance he gets:

You were currently sitting at your desk, trying to find any trace online regarding the statement of the week. You were pulled out of your thoughts by wheels skidding on the floor. Looking up you saw Tim on a wheely chair, sliding up next to you.

"Did you know that..."

or another time:

Your peaceful work was interrupted by a paper airplane hitting the side of you head. You looked up and saw a grinning Tim Stoker. He waved at you and motioned for you to unfold the paper. Once you did, you saw a cutesy doodle of you and him holding hands and a bunch of hearts around. You simply raised an eyebrow and put the drawing aside.

Tim was, however, pleasantly surprised, seeing it taped to the side of you computer screen the next day.

Did I mention flirting? I feel like I should mention it again, for good measure. Flirting Lot's of flirting. Lot's of shameless flirting

Sasha definitely notices Tim's feelings for you. Almost instantly.

And she would tease him. Mercilessly. Relentlessly.

She would also take on the role of your biggest shipper. Whenever you and Tim talk, you better believe she is making heart shapes at both of you from a safe distance.

She also uses her amazing computer skills to make cute and embarrassing edits of you two.

Sasha is also, coincidentally, the most amazing wing-woman ever (probably because she had to take action after seeing you and Tim pine for each other relentlessly).

You would be sorting through the statements when she would approach you and ask sneakily:

"So, Tim took you out on a date, yet?"

"No" you'd say and add quietly "Unfortunately"

This wouldn't slip past Sasha's keen ears:

"Unfortunately? So you do want to go on a date with him!"

You'd splutter to deny it, only prompting her to laugh more.

"Maybe if you sent him some more... Positive feedback to his flirting attempts and maybe told him a simple 'yes' to his countless attempts to invite you out... Maybe then, you'd already be smooching and planning your wedding..." Sasha said pointedly and the added more wistfully "and maybe then I wouldn't have to listen to his rants about you"

After quite a restless night you decided to give it a shot. "Why not?" You reasoned. What's the worst thing that can happen? An awkward break up when he realises he doesn't like you that much and having to work with him for at least another year? You decided not to dwell on that much.

Obviously Tim was low-key surprised when instead of shutting down his flirting attempts you flirted back. He was even more surprised when you agreed to go on a date with him.

He nearly lost his composure, but once he finally processed what happened, he beamed at you and tripled his flirting.

Throughout the day he was very hyper and becoming a bit too much to his colleagues and you

But can you blame him? He finally got the green light form you. Of course he's going to rant about it to Sasha. Of course he is going to make small doodles on the margins of his paperwork that he is later to hand in to Jon.

Tim DEFINITELY took you kayaking on you first date:)

It's a great opportunity to flex his muscles and have great fun at the lake.

Chances are you ended up falling into the water:

You were rowing in perfect harmony while exchanging some quips back and forth. It was great. Until Tim said something along the lines of:

"Sure, you're right. Can't argue with that cuteness. You could probably say that the Earth is flat and I'd believe you" he briefly took his hand off the oar to ruffle your hair.

"Hey! If I ever tell you nonsense like that, I expect you to correct me" you turn to smack him with your oar. Tim ducks out of the way, making your kayak rock from side to side.

"Don't do that! We're gonna flip the boat" You say gripping the side of the kayak for balance.

Tim grins wickedly before shifting to the other side, making the kayak careen dangerously "Don't do what? This?" he suddenly goes to the other side.

"Yes! Don't-" you're cut off as the kayak predictably flipped over and you both ended up in the slightly chilly water.

Tim laughed. You prepared to give him an angry tirade, but couldn't help laughing with him.

You got out of the water at some point... Completely soaked through.

You pulled off your shirt and put it to dry, huddling in a blanket, which, by some miracle, wasn't completely wet.

"You sh-should take off your shirt to dry" you told Tim, chattering your teeth.

"Woah! If you wanted to see me shirtless, you didn't have to flip the kayak" Tim said, taking his shirt off "You could've just asked" he smirked at you. Prompting an eye roll.

"You do remember that you were the one who flipped it, right?" You deadpanned raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm...." He pretends to think "Maybe I wanted you to see me shirtless" Tim shrugged and said "Details"

You could only shake your head and laugh.

And of course the only logical solution was to cuddle. For warmth. And because it felt nice

Tim wrapped his arms around your torso and snuggled into your neck, while you fried some marshmallows for s'mores on a campfire.

When you came the next day holding hands, Sasha was extatic.

She might or might not have started planning your wedding.

A/n: anyway, that concludes the headcanons, I hope you like it:) I'm definitely writing headcanons for Dating!! Tim

[unfortunatetheorist]

The Complete Works of Contradictory Logic in ASOUE: Volume I (Quote Debunk 10)

Part 7 - The Miserable Mill S1 E7

Quick Intro: Surprise! I'm back after what I know has been quite a long while - life's been keeping me busy! As Voltaire once said: "Life is thickly sown with thorns and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them."

Time to carry on where we left off...

And of course we're jumping straight in with Mr Poe-ntless:

01:49 - "We must act now! We must act without delay! We... (sniffs)... need... (sniffs again)... We need... (sniffs some chowder because why not?) Oh! Oh, my! Oh, my, this is excellent chowder. Mmm, mmm, good. Oh, God... [chugs the entire thing - again, why not?]"

How did we ever believe this guy cared about the Baudelaires?

05:06 - "Pink Floyd's "The Wall"... Although Mother wouldn't let me watch that one."

Not contradictory per se, but a beautifully subtle reference to the lyrics of the song 'Another Brick in The Wall, Pt 2.' particularly the chorus:

We don't need no education

We don't need no thought control

No dark sarcasm in the classroom

Teacher, leave them kids alone!

So I guess it's contradictory, in a way, to the underlying principles of V.F.D.

07:06 - "They have to do what I say, even my partner here." ~ Sir

Luckily Klaus responds quickly and correctly to this one.

10:06 - "...who joined you for years on a sequence of heists and schemes until the two of you were forced apart by circumstance, and also because you ran off in the middle of the night with a bunch of her valuables?" ~ Olaf. to Evander the Truck Driver

What a way to lose a lady. Something tells me only Olaf would do something like this!

The chocolate bar scene at 10:26 is funny, but not really the kind of contradiction we're looking for.

14:45 - "I'm just an old friend" *sniffs flowers and writhes in disgust* ~Olaf to Georgina

"Um, Dr Orwell's not here right now." ~ Dr Orwell (Georgina) to Olaf.

Sheer genius. Neatly covered with the hilarity of Olaf's facial expression after smelling the flowers.

15:06 - "So he isn't just knocking on Dr Orwell's door because he needs something - for himself?" ~ Georgina

Olaf: *chuckles*, *pulls angry face*, *chuckles*

It's brilliantly timed and brilliantly filmed. Also better/easier to understand when viewed.

15:27 - "...who shares one's brilliance, one's charm, one's dubious moral code in a world gone gloriously wrong." ~ Olaf

Olaf was just trying to find alphabetical words; 'brilliance' and 'charm' have quite different meaning and connotation to 'dubious'.

Also, a world gone 'gloriously wrong', eh, Olaf? I wonder how it got that way...

15:48 - This gem:

Georgina: "I took a solemn oath that my office would be closed to you forever even during regular business hours."

Also Georgina: "How big a fortune are we talking?"

22:22 - "I took a chance on treating you like grown-ups, don't make me regret it." ~ Sir to the Baudelaires

A classic phrase often said to children to enforce good behaviour now twisted to benefit Sir's bank balance. Respect, Handler! This kind of thing goes unnoticed very easily.

25:25 - "You, me, an evil scheme, a little death." ~ Olaf

"La petit mort" ~ Georgina

"You know I love it when you speak Spanish." ~ Olaf

Ok. First off, 'la petit mort' is, in fact, French not Spanish. Secondly, 'la petit mort' literally means 'the little death' but in French slang, it means something else entirely... [Hint: not child-friendly...]

26:10 - "It represents the eyes of God staring down and judging society as a moral wasteland." ~ Klaus

"Oh, that sounds like a fun book." ~ Phil

Not really sure how fun this is... but the same could be said about ASOUE to be fair. Each to his own, I suppose.

37:24 - "We've fought a host of unsavoury characters, including a most unfriendly refrigerator repair person. We've flown a plane into a hurricane. We've been to Peru and back to get home to our children. And today, finally, we'll all be together. What could be wrong?"

Gotta love the sarcasm when it's there.

There's also the piece related to the final scene about Sir mentioning the 'probable' (yeah right) conditions of the Baudelaires, which are actually his own... this isn't as contradictory as it perhaps could've been so not worth writing in full.

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[wuxianxkexing]

Mu Qing x Reader- Stop Fucking With My Cat Part 3

------------------------------------------------

Y/N waited quietly, albeit rather unhappily, as the pretty boy in front of her never once lowered his saber while he waited for the status report on his guards. Y/N knew that they were all ok, she actually had seen a bunch of guards on her way in, she was just good at sneaking past people unnoticed. Y/N was also well aware that this was a private garden, but she didn't consider herself to be stupid so she kept on insisting that she really had no idea that she was trespassing when pressed for more information. "Honestly I don't even know who you are so how could I know that this is your private garden? I'll leave and never come back!" Y/N went to stand up but found the saber moved to lightly press against her throat. "Or I'll stay." She laughed nervously as she got back onto her knees. "It is quite nice here. And I haven't seen Feng Xin in a while. How are you doing?" She gave a friendly wave and Feng Xin had to fight the urge to hide behind Ling Wen. Mu Qing huffed.

"Not yours but already on such a familiar bases, eh?" Feng Xin went to open his mouth but was cut off by Y/N before he could get a sound out.

"It's true, I'm not Ju Yang's. But I could be if he wanted me to be." Y/N said with as innocent a look and tone of voice as possible.

"Hell no." Feng Xin looked like he had died. Y/N died laughing on the inside. It was true, they hadn't seen each other since the trial. Y/N actually went out of her way to avoid him because the whole thing was rather awkward, but if she was going to be forced to remain in his presence she might as well tease him. One of the first things Xie Lian had told her about him was that he was terrified of women and hated being called Ju Yang, so if she was going to be held against her will with a saber against her throat by his friend the least she could do was return the favor by making him feel uncomfortable as well. Y/N fake pouted.

"Why not? I'm a great follower? I give Xie Lian really cool gifts all of the time. One time I even gave him a cool little rock spirit I found."

"Like hell you are. I have more than enough followers and I don't have any need for a rock spirit." Feng Xin still looked like he had died. "Plus you are a Goddess yourself, what are you even doing still worshipping another God, fucking weirdo." Feng Xin grumbled. Y/N shrugged. Mu Qing listened intently as the two argued back and forth but did not participate, for once. He was pretty sure Y/N was just trying to create a distraction so she could escape and he wasn't going to let that happen. After some minutes his servant returned and confirmed that all of his guards were alive and well.

"Tell me how you snuck in." Mu Qing spoke after he dismissed his servant once again.

"I didn't sneak in. Like I said I never saw any guards." Mu Qing knew better than to believe Y/N but it really did seem that she wasn't going to tell the truth no matter what he did.

"Then why did you decide to come here?"

"Because it's really pretty and I thought it was a public park."

"And what were you doing crawling around with my cat in your hand?"

"I was playing with him." Y/N shrugged.

"Most people don't play with cats by army crawling in the bushes." Mu Qing narrowed his eyes. "What were you playing?" Y/N feigned a cough in a feeble attempt to cover up the little laugh that had escaped.

"I was trying to teach him how to hunt." She said as seriously as possible, trying against all odds to maintain a straight face. Mu Qing rolled his eyes so hard that Y/N thought for a fleeting moment that they got stuck like that before they returned to meet her gaze.

"Well don't. He doesn't need your help, and there is nothing here for him to hunt anyways. All animals in the Heaven's are someone's pet so leave them alone if they aren't yours." Mu Qing wished for a moment that he knew Y/N well enough to tell if she was actually this stupid or if she was just pretending to be, but after everything that had happened at Feng Xin's palace it was probably safe to assume that she was just as daft as Quan Yizhan and Shi Qingxuan.

Ling Wen had been quietly watching the events unfold before her and had decided to finally speak up after it was determined no real harm was caused. "Y/N, I know you meant no harm but it is still very much so against the rules to show up inside another Official's private grounds without being invited. I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you a ticket for 100,000 merits to be paid to General Xuan Zhen, unless he would be so kind as to let this issue slide." Ling Wen tried to suggest diplomatically, though it was really only for show. She knew there was no way that General Xuan Zhen would drop this issue.

"I would not be so kind." Mu Qing rolled his eyes and scowled down at the still kneeling Y/N. It was her turn to look like she had died.

"I don't have any merits." She laughed out pathetically.

"That's not my problem." Mu Qing rolled his eyes again. "You will repay me even if it takes 10,000 years."

Ling Wen nodded. "Sorry Y/N but not everyone in the Heaven's is as kind as General Nan Yang. He let your trespassing and destruction of his palace go out of the kindness of his heart but I agree with General Xuan Zhen that you should be punished this time. You know better." Y/N stood up silently. I didn't even break anything this time! She thought to herself, but knew it would be pointless to try to argue. She did know better even though she tried to pretend otherwise. None of the others were buying it. "Come with me to my palace and we will get this ticket taken care of." Ling Wen started to walk away with a downcast Y/N in tow but suddenly stopped and turned on her heel. Y/N almost walked straight into her! "Wait! I almost forgot why I came here." Y/N stepped out of the way as Ling Wen walked closer to General Xuan Zhen. "I need that report today. I can't give you anymore time on it. Why did it take you a month to deal with a few little ghost fires?" Ling Wen arched a brow at Mu Qing. He crossed his arms and looked away from Ling Wen. She would definitely know if he lied if he looked her in the face while doing so. He sent a nervous glance at Feng Xin and then settled his gaze unconsciously on Y/N while he racked his brain trying to come up with anything remotely acceptable. Y/N suddenly spoke up.

"He was helping me with a mission." Mu Qing tried to keep a straight face. Did she misunderstand his thinking face as a plea for help?

"What mission? I haven't given you any lately." Ling Wen turned to Y/N.

"Well it was more like a personal mission. I thought that since I had nothing better to do that I would take care of that cat demon that occasionally causes trouble in the mountains."

"And General Xuan Zhen helped you with this?" Y/N nodded her head in a vague circular motion but Ling Wen didn't seem to notice the lie. "Why didn't either of you report this to my palace?"

"Well I did. While General Xuan Zhen was gone to get supplies I went to one of your temples and prayed and told you."

Ling Wen frowned and put her hand on her forehead. "Why didn't you just tell me in the communication array? That is not the proper way to exchange information." Mu Qing hadn't noticed earlier but Ling Wen looked like shit. Her skin was pale, her dark circles looked like she had been punched in the face and her normally perfect stature was slouched. She must be dead tired to not notice the obvious lies but he wasn't about to say anything.

"What's the difference?" Y/N smiled and tilted her head. The smoke coming out of Ling Wen's ears was almost visible.

"Why did you need General Xuan Zhen's help with such a low level spirit?"

"Well I ran across him on my way there and figured that it would be best to get a more experienced Heavenly Official to supervise just in case anything went wrong? Everything went smoothly though so I guess I didn't need him after all. Hahaha!"

"Well do you have any proof that you have taken care of the cat demon?" Mu Qing rolled his eyes. Leave it to Ling Wen to still ask for proof. A simple answer was never enough for her, thus why he had such trouble coming up with something.

"Well not anymore. You see it's rumored that the collar that the cat demon wore can grant the ability to speak to cats who wear it so I put it on his cat but he isn't wearing it anymore so I guess he lost it somewhere?"

Mu Qing gave her a glare that could turn her into stone. He dug in his robes and pulled out the pink pearl collar he had confiscated from Echo previously. "You mean this collar?"

Y/N looked at the ground and shuffled around nervously. "Yes." She reluctantly spoke. Mu Qing didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The cat demon's collar was supposed to made out of human remains. The leather was from the tongues of men that verbally abused cats and the pearls were originally teeth that had changed form from the immense hatred the cat demon bore towards humanity. This bitch really put a demonic collar on his Echo?! Mu Qing wanted to stab her then and there but held himself back. There were too many witnesses and he shouldn't hurt women, even if she was a fellow martial God. Still he couldn't help the scowl that now sat on his face. He shouldn't be surprised. Y/N was a demonic cultivator, of course she'd do some shit like this. He took a deep breath. Perhaps his cultivation path forbids hurting women unless they come after him first but he could still think up of some other way to make her pay.

Ling Wen raised an eyebrow at Y/N and then quickly turned her gaze back General Xuan Zhen, waiting for an outburst that never came. After a long silence between all present parties she walked over and grabbed the collar from General Xuan Zhen. "Thank you. I just have one more request. Could you please finish up your report really quick before I have to head back to my palace. I think it would be more convenient for both of us if I just pick it up while I'm here." Mu Qing nodded and lead Ling Wen inside.

Y/N was left alone in the garden with Feng Xin. Occasionally he would give her an awkward glance and she would do the same. Usually she would take the opportunity to tease him more but after being fined 100,000 merits Y/N wasn't feeling much like a comedian anymore. They continued on like that for what felt like forever until Ling Wen and Mu Qing reappeared. Satisfied that she had finally received the report Ling Wen called for Y/N to follow her as Feng Xin escorted them out of Mu Qing's palace, leaving Mu Qing and Echo alone in his meditation garden once again. Y/N briefly thought it was kind of funny. Why was General Nan Yang pretending to be someone else's servant? But really Feng Xin took it upon himself to escort them out because he knew Mu Qing's patience was wearing very thin.

On their way to her palace Ling Wen decided to make small conversation with Y/N. "So where did you meet General Xuan Zhen?"

"Hm?" Y/N looked up from the ground that she was quietly staring at as she walked behind Ling Wen like a kicked puppy. "At some tea house."

"Was he nice to you during the mission?"

"Yeah he was pretty nice." Y/N shrugged. What was she supposed to say? The whole thing was a lie, it was best to keep things simple even though General Xuan Zhen was anything but nice to her earlier.

"Hmm." Ling Wen smiled lightly. "Usually he doesn't get along with anyone. I'm glad that he was nice to you. " Ling Wen lead Y/N into her palace, past frazzled officials carrying mountains of scrolls and to her desk. She put the report on the left side of her desk and opened a drawer to grab a form. She quickly filled it out and handed one copy to Y/N while keeping the other copy for herself. "So we'll want to get you started paying back General Xuan Zhen as soon as possible. He isn't known for his patience. Come back here tomorrow at 8am sharp and I'll have a mission for you."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's the link to part 2!

[tonberry-yoda]

One More Time - Sanji (pt. 3) f!reader

pt.1 | pt.2

notes - Hi cuties! My writing inspo is coming back!!! <3 This was for my most recent poll! I decided to do another part of this because this is actually a fun series to write! Thanks to all who love it too and expect a Law fic soon???? Love you bunches!!! word count - 1,064 tags - @sleepyhead0720

The night went by too slowly for your liking. You were alone in that storage room jumping over the smallest noises, fearing that you were going to get caught.

You lied when you told Sanji that you had been in worse situations. You really hadn't. The Strawhat Pirates were famous and not in the good way. If even one spotted you, you would be dead meat. All of them combined had a bigger bounty than you could ever imagine.

But they were so kind. Why?

They looked like they were genuinely having a good time together, being human and laughing. Not only that, but you had heard from outside sources that wasn't the Navy that they had done so much to help others. Especially the captain. With a smile on his face in every wanted poster.

They were definitely a strange bunch, but they intrigued you; made you jealous. You were a crew bouncer, which meant that a lot of the time, you were just joining crew after crew for a pretty penny. Honestly, you stopped caring about the money and just wanted a home. But none of them felt like it.

But here? With all of these lovely people telling jokes and singing songs? It pissed you off. Why couldn't you live like that?

You definitely couldn't now that you were an enemy to them.

You tossed and turned in your sleep not having a clue what time it was because not only did you not have a watch, but you didn't even have a window that could give you a clue.

You were so tired though.

A sigh escaped your lips and you sat up. Sleep wasn't an option anymore, it seemed.

But you jumped to the roof when you heard the trap door open. Yeah, you were screwed. Too tired to fight and in a bad position with what little of a bounty you had on you.

"y/n?" You recognized Sanji's voice as he whispered your name. "y/n, are you down here?"

You peeked from behind a barrel and smiled. "Hey, Sanji!"

He walked over to you and turned on the light. "Hungry?" he asked as he kneeled down with a plate of food.

"I guess I am." you replied after your stomach gave a growl of hunger.

"We're almost to the island by the way. Sooner than we thought too." He leaned his head against a box as he sat across from you and sighed. "We'll be there in about an hour."

"What time is it?"

"Just past eight."

You hummed in response and kept eating. You weren't even on the boat for a full day, but you already missed his cooking.

"How did you sleep?" he asked, trying to hide that he as slightly blushing.

"I dunno. Probably slept a little bit, but I mostly just remember sitting." you admitted.

"I'm sorry."

You shrugged. "Not your fault. I'm the one who crawled on this boat."

For a moment, it was just silence, but Sanji quickly broke it.

"What are you going to do when you leave?"

"What I always do." You set down your plate and wrapped your blanket around your shoulders to warm yourself up. "Travel until I find somewhere to stay."

"That doesn't sound very fun."

"Eh, I'm used to it. A solo pirate, I guess."

"I wish you could join our crew." he giggled.

"Same." You played with a string that was hanging off of your blanket and sighed out of your nose. "But it's fine. I mean, I had fun while I was here. And had some pretty damn good food, if I do say so myself."

"Is that so?" he teased.

You laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "What about you?" you asked. "What are you gonna do once you get to the island?"

"Whatever the captain orders."

"Sounds confining."

"Surprisingly, not really." Sanji moved himself so that he was sitting next to you and slid his hand in yours, clearing his throat. "Better than being in one place."

"I got you there. Traveling is the best."

"No kidding."

You laid your head on Sanji's shoulder and squeezed his hand. "Have you ever felt alone, Sanji?"

He sighed. "Hell yeah I have."

You nodded and felt yourself drift off into sleep.

---

"Sanji! Get up here!" You heard someone shout from above you as you woke up. "We're here!"

"Coming! Just give me a second! You guys can get a move on without me, I'll catch up!"

You heard the sound of footsteps above you disappear and you rubbed your eyes.

"Looks like we're here, princess. Get you some beauty sleep?"

You turned to see Sanji smile at you and you smiled back.

"I guess so. I'll get out of your hair though. Thanks for covering me up."

"Don't mention it." He stood up and grabbed your hand, helping you up. "Want me to walk you out?"

"If it's not any trouble."

"I would be happy to."

Sanji slid his hand into yours as you two got off of the boat. The island in front of you was warm and very welcoming. Small, but perfect. You knew you were bound to have a couple nights of rest here.

"Well, I have to get some shopping done before me and the rest of the crew head out." Sanji said. "So, uh... this is goodbye?"

You looked at him and he had misty eyes. The wind blew and his blonde hair followed it along with his cigarette smoke.

"Yeah... Bye, Sanji. Thanks for everything." You went to turn away, but couldn't help yourself as you quickly turned around and fell into his arms. You hugged him so tight that his cigarette fell out of his mouth. His hand reached the back of your head while the other found it's way to your back. You hadn't been hugged like this in ages.

When you pulled away from the hug, it felt like something dropped out of you, made you feel empty. Another goodbye, that's all it was.

"So, you and your crew are leaving as soon as you can?" you asked.

"That's the plan." He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at the clouds.

He felt your lips softly press against his, but when he looked down, you were gone.

If only he could see you. One more time.

~~~~~

one piece masterlist | pinned post | ko-fi

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[alder-saan]

The Path of Poisons

Shrubby everlasting (part 3)

Larissa x gn! oc

the Path of Poisons masterlist . [01] . [02] . [03] . [04] . [05] . [06] . [07] . [08] . [09]

Words count : ~2.1k

Larissa Weems opened her eyes and closed them again just as quickly, blinded by the white light she saw above her. Was this heaven? She couldn't quite remember what had happened. Marilyn, a syringe, she had fallen… She had seen Wednesday above her, shaking her, and then she had seen nothing, only heard. Sounds of a struggle… Someone talking… Nothing.

A black hole.

So she was dead, eh?

A stupid death.

Her first thoughts went to her school, and to all the children and teachers who would now have to manage without her. All because of her carelessness…

She opened her eyes again slowly, letting the light reach her eyes through a small slit between her eyelids, which she opened more and more. When she got used to it, she saw white walls, a white ceiling, a white floor, and medical equipment. So she wasn't dead. She was in the hospital. She had survived. The door opened wide and several people, probably nurses and doctors, entered, probably one of the machines could detect whether she was awake or not, and it was relayed to another room.

"Mrs. Weems, welcome back," said a woman, smiling.

Still a little dazed, she said nothing.

"We've got some tests to do now that you're awake. Don't worry, nothing too serious. Do you remember what happened?"

"One of the teachers at the academy attacked me and stuck a needle in my neck."

"It was belladonna, you were very lucky to get away with it. Do you have any other memories afterwards?"

"A student leaning over me, some noises, and then nothing."

"That's normal. I'll take some blood and we'll get you some food."

Larissa nodded. The different nurses took her arm to draw some blood. The principal felt her head spin and closed her eyes.

"How long have I been here?"

"Oh, four days. You can thank the student who saved you."

"A student saved me?"

"Yes, he had the reflex to inject you with physostigmine before calling for help. Normally we don't recommend this kind of thing if you are not a doctor but it saved your life. The blood test is done, we'll bring you something to eat right away. Any special diet? No meat? No salt?"

"No, I can eat everything."

"Good."

The little team left the room, leaving her alone in her silence. Larissa let her eyes roam the room, curious. Several bouquets were there. A huge bunch of various peonies, hawthorns, and then a small bunch of marigolds and shrubby everlasting. There were also a lot of letters, which she reached for. She had tears in her eyes when she realised that they were words from the students. She who had no family left, who thought that no one cared about her anymore, felt loved. She felt like reading everything, and started with a note written on light blue paper covered with multicoloured wolf stickers, written in glittery pink ink.

"Get well soon, Mrs. Weems! By the way, you haven't seen me I've finally wolfed out" Followed by small hand-drawn smileys "Enid."

She put the little card down and picked up another. Dark grey paper, black ink.

"The next time I involve you, I'll take Calabar beans with me, to counteract the poison. But in my book, you won't live again. I think it makes a better ending. And a character's death is a good development for the protagonist. Wednesday."

Larissa wiped away a tear with a small laugh.

"You're silly…"

They entered her room, a tray of food in hand. The principal put Wednesday's card down and looked at what had been brought in. Nothing very tasty. Rice, some sort of fishy-smelling pâté, salad and compote. Well, that's that. She would have to make do with hospital food. She ate slowly, a grimace hanging on her lips. The rice was undercooked, and the fish was overcooked. Even the salad tasted bad. In the end, the only thing right was the compote.

As she had not been given any instructions against it, she stood up. She wanted to have a closer look at the bouquets. The hawthorns had a note signed by all her colleagues and Sheriff Galpin. The peony one was a personal note from Thalia Kedlan. As for the last one, the little one of marigolds and immortals, there was nothing. No words at all. She looked at him, intrigued by this gift without a sender. Who could give her immortals and marigolds? The marigolds, she understood. They were recovery flowers. But the immortals…

Their meaning was much more vague, it could mean so many things. Nevertheless, she imagined that it had to do with the fact that she was not dead. A bouquet without a name was still troubling. Maybe it was Wednesday. But she wouldn't have given him yellow flowers. Maybe Morticia, then. No, it probably wouldn't have been that kind of flower either. Her thoughts travelled back in time.

"Rissa? Is it really Gomez you like?"

"Of course it is. Who else?"

"I don't know. I just… I thought you preferred girls…"

"Ugh, what do you take me for? It's disgusting!"

Poor Ava… Larissa thought she had been stupid on this one… She should have dealt with her feelings. That was probably the biggest regret of her years as a student at Nevermore: not being able to understand that loving women was normal. She hoped Avareida was okay. She'd obviously bought her book as soon as she'd seen her name on the cover, but had never tried to contact her again. Out of shame, no doubt, and then to say what? It had been thirty years… It would have been weird to come and say "Hi Ava, I'm not sure if you remember me. I'm sorry for being a horrible homophobe and telling you all that. I'm actually a lesbian too, haha".

She sighed. Why was she thinking about her now?

Probably because she was the only person who had ever truly loved her without an ulterior motive and without betraying her. No, Larissa had betrayed her first. She began to dream that she was the bouquet.

Ava…

The memory of her friend made her smile. She wasn't tall, Ava was 8 inches shorter than her, at the time. And then she had this joy for life. She didn't care what others thought of her, Ava just did what she liked. Larissa never had that strength. Even now, everything she did was to maintain a good image for herself and the academy. Avareïda had undoubtedly become an incredible young woman…

The next day, several of her colleagues came to see her, with a bunch of daisies and a huge cake. She felt a bit ridiculous, bedridden and in a white shirt, while everyone else was well dressed. Elizabeth Kinswelt, the divination teacher, groped for the chair they had brought her, helped by Thalia Kedlan, the history teacher. There was also Jean Lafon, the French teacher, and Amil Donove, the telekinesis teacher.

Thalia took her in her arms and gave her a warm hug.

"Welcome back!"

"Welcome back! Amil and Jean rejoined at the same time."

Larissa returned his embrace.

"Are you crying, Larissa?"

"No, Jean, it's the dust."

Thalia stepped back a little, watching her principal wipe away tears.

"I wanted to tell you, Larissa," Thalia began, "we're really glad to see you alive. The Academy wouldn't be the same without you. And you are a dear friend to our hearts."

"Stop it or I'll really cry."

"Aha, okay."

Amil put the bouquet next to the others.

"By the way, do you know who gave me these marigolds and everlastings? There's no word to go with it."

Thalia smiled at Larissa.

"A friend of mine who has just moved to the area. We met the day before yesterday morning, and as I had to come and see you, they came with me. They bought you this because they felt bad about coming without anything."

"Oh… will you thank them for me?"

"Of course I will."

"I heard that many students came to see you?" Amil asked

"Yes, I received dozens of notes. I didn't know they liked me so much."

Elizabeth, who had been silent until then, spoke up. Larissa liked her voice, always very calm. Her completely white eyes, her hair pulled back in a tight bun, gave her a gentle, wise look that the principal had always liked.

"Larissa, expect many people to tell you how much they love you."

"Is that a prophecy, Mrs Kinswelt?"

"No, Mrs Weems. I know this phenomenon. I almost died myself a long time ago."

"But it sounded like a prophecy."

"Come on, you know I don't share my prophecies. Especially not to the people most affected."

"Does that mean that you have seen things?"

"Interpret it as you wish…"

Thalia opened the box in which there was a red cake with some raspberries on top.

"It was Jean who baked this for you!"

"All this for me? Isn't it better to share it?"

"That was the idea," Jean smiled.

The car was driving along the main road. A storm was brewing and the first drops were falling on the roof.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth lifted her head from the glass. If she wasn't completely blind, you'd think she was absorbed in the scenery that was passing before her eyes on the way to her girlfriend's house.

"Yes, Dear?"

"Did you see anything about Mrs Weems?"

"Yes, I did."

There was silence in the car for a few moments.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"I saw your friend. And Mrs Weems."

"Tell me more."

"You know I don't want to turn my visions into self-fulfilling prophecies."

"Come on, I won't tell them. Will you please tell me?"

"What are you offering me in exchange for this information?"

Thalia smiled, without taking her eyes off the road.

"There's not much I can do right now, but as soon as we get to my place, I'm yours."

"I saw them kissing."

"Whaaat?"

"It can mean nothing, too. It was just a kiss. Promise me you won't say anything to them or try to push them together."

"It's going to be hard, but I promise."

"Thank you, Thalia. Let them live their lives, so you won't be disappointed with the outcome."

Elizabeth rested her head against the glass. And then she saw light. A new vision was coming.

She was in the greenhouse of Nevermore. She knew it, though she had never seen it. It smelled the same as when she had gone there. On the floor was Mrs. Weems, lying there, staring into space. Elizabeth ran towards her as the door opened. She saw someone enter. Black hair slicked back, as if it were wet. All black eyes, dressed in brown. She knew it was Rei. They stopped above Mrs Weems and crouched down. Mrs Kinswelt saw the intruder check her breathing and heart before taking something from their jacket and injecting it into Larissa's neck. Then they got up and quietly went to the back of the greenhouse to steal the manchineel tree.

Then everything disappeared.

"Thalia?"

"Yes?"

"Your friend, when did they arrive again?"

"I don't know exactly. They told me it was four days ago at night. Actually, a little after the events at Nevermore. What was that for?"

"No reason."

She knew what she saw. They were the one who saved Mrs Weems. So why hide it? Because of the manchineel thing?

[contest-winning-pest]

For Want Of A Maylene (What Once Was Wrong)

"Another? -- Candice. That's fifteen already before this new kid. You can't--"

"What else am I supposed to do?" Candice said.

The vibes in the Champion's Villa off to the east of Snowpoint sank another few degrees. "What should you do? You know what you should do, Candice! Hire people! Get someone in to help them, not just physically, but mentally! And this one's an orphan!"

"No! No, it's fine. I'll just... I just need to give it my all and it'll--"

"Thought and Emotions-- It's ripping you up. It's been ripping you up for months. And now you have to take in this new kid-- what was her name?"

"-- Kerry. Her name is Kerry. We found her halfway to freezing to death in the snow."

"Have you asked anyone for help yet?"

"... Not yet."

"Candice!"

"-- I know! .... And she said she can't travel across the mountain yet. I figured, I'd help her get stronger."

"Or! Orrrrrrr." Maylene leaned over the table. "You can take her on a boat trip, and me and Crasher Wake can take care of her until you've hired on some people and gotten proper care together!"

"... You're right. I know you're right. Why can't I make myself see it?"

"It's fine. That's why we're a League, not A bunch of Gym Leaders. I have a few people in the Heya, and Crasher's famous for having a lot of good staff. I'll help Kerry, and we can ask around for volunteers. Okay?"

"... Yeah. Yeah! Why am I half-assing being a Gym Leader!?"

"Eh?"

"Though-- I'll need to start finding proper staff, and you're right we need to investigate the Lakefront, but..."

"-- Either way," Maylene said, "Let's get it done tomorrow."

~ ~ ~

"Hey, Kerry?" Candice called, into the dorm room. The curtains were open, but Kerry herself lay curled up on the bed, still around Li. "You have a visitor."

"What for?" She said, forlornly.

"I... Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Maylene, of Veilstone."

"-- The sumotori!?"

"Ah--- haha, yes, though that's... not really my career..."

~ ~ ~

"Hey!" Meylene scooted one of her bowls across the table to Kerry. "Eat up, we got a lot to do today."

"I already ate, though...?" Kerry said, staring at the bowl.

"Yeah, and we're going to be working hard today, too, to help ourselves and our Pokemon get stronger! That means you need energy. Which means you need food."

"Grandpa said to never have a second bowl and to always feed your Pokemon first."

"Nnn. Well, he's not wrong, but that's no excuse to neglect your own health! We have plenty for everyone!"

~ ~ ~

".... What's up? This wasn't the first sparring session where it felt like you were..."

"It's exhausting, okay? I... I've been training but there's just so much Aura around me it's--"

"Oh, you use Aura?" Maylene paused. "Let me have you and Li talk with my Lucario a bit..."

~ ~ ~

"Doing better, I see."

"Yeah! Thanks so much for showing me that. I just wish Grandpa were here."

"Your grandfather? What was he like?"

"Well. I mean-- OK. So, when I was a little younger, Grandpa started teaching me survival, and then, when I'd done that, he'd take me out to orienteer and leave me out in the woods around Acuity for a long time. One time, when this was taking me--"

"Wait, back up. Your grandfather abandoned you in the woods?"

"He knew I'd be okay!"

"He abandoned you! In the woods! That's not an okay thing to do to a child!"

"wh-- no, that's normal, that's not the point of the story--"

~ ~ ~

"So you're gonna be my exchange penpal?"

"Yeah! I really hope you keep in touch with all your friends in Veilstone. And learn to surf!"

"Haha, I'd love to do that, actually," Kerry responded, shaking the Hoenni girl's hands warmly. A slight warmth spread through her.

~ ~ ~

"I've been having more nightmares. I think it's related to Mt. Chimney."

"... Hm. I'll talk with Flannery and Liza and Tate. See what they have to say about it."

~ ~ ~

"Well, now. Yes, you will do quite nicely. As I'm sure you're already aware, given your stamps and badges, you'll need to hone those psychic abilities so that they don't drown out what you're hoping for. I can help with that. But I think we won't have as much time as you hope. Strange things are alreqady happening. I'll join you on your journey across Hoenn, but for now, let's get you a Starter and get you going."

"Are you sure? I mean. There's so much I have yet to learn--"

"No, I'm sure. You'll be perfect. Seeing it in person is a fantastic way to understand the world arond you.

"... And I really can come back at any time?"

"Always," Brawly said.

".... Then I'll go with you."

~ ~ ~

"Senri! I--"

"Oh! You're that gym trainer from Dewford, right? You're just in time. This boy wants to go out and catch his first Pokemon, but I don't have time between taking a challenge and--"

"Kerry!?"

"Satoshi!?"

"What are you doing here!?"

Wally cleared his throat.

"Ah-- yeah, of course I'll go help, if you'll loan us a Pokemon..."

[lampmanliveblogs]

Where we last left off, Luz & Hunter found themselves within another memory of Belos in his early days, traveling from village to village, preaching the will of the Titan. We see a small town burning, a fire most certainly set by Belos himself. It looks like it might be up on The Knee. Wasn’t there some ruins up there? I’d go check, but uh… I don’t feel like doing it right now, soooo… I’ll do it later. And by that I mean ”I will forget to do it later.”

(The Child also grabbed a sack from the previous memory and a rope in this one. What’s he up to?)

Belos led the survivors to (relative) safety and introduced them to his coven system, with the coven sigils which were supposed to protect them from their own magic running wild. Only for him to then immediately activate the sigils, leaving everyone there paralyzed and unable to do anything as the Golden Guard begins collecting their palismen. As we continue, Luz and Hunter witness Belos leaving these innocent people to die in the cold.

And I kinda played it off in the last post, but this is disturbing. Like genuinely disturbing. I knew Belos was a manipulative and cold-hearted man that treated people like pawns but seeing it carried out at this scale and so methodically… it’s very unsettling. And dying in the cold too… let’s just say, the last week or so has made me remember just how scary cold can be. I can only hope those poor witches were unconscious and didn’t lay there awake but unable to move as the elements claimed them.

”Well maybe I’m an idiot!”

Eh, maybe, but not that kind of idiot.

Jeez Louise, this kid could go to the olympics with these mental gymnastics.

This is what King was talking about before, about how ”No one wants to think they’ve wasted their life following the wrong person.” This is especially true for Hunter, who was raised by Belos and views him as family. 

I spotted two other paintings. The first one is blocked by Hunter except for a few short moments, but I managed to get a good look on it. It looks like it might be Philip, looking out over the isles, with the head of the Titan in the far distance.

The second painting we get a little better look at in a second as Hunter starts running after The Child. It depicts Philip, as we saw him in Elsewhere and Elsewhen. He’s holding his diary and talking to two witches. At first, I thought it might be Lilith and Luz, but… they look a  bit off. For one thing, they’re both holding magic staffs, which neither of them used during their time travel excursion. It also looks like ”Dirtrude” has horns, and ”Luzura” is missing her helmet. So unless this really is an example of Belos memory being wrong like Hunter suggested was what was going on in the memory where he murdered a bunch of innocent people in cold (no pun intended) blood, those are different people.

Before Hunter can catch up to The Child, the monstrous form of Inner Belos appears and strikes a pose very similar to the one that can be spotted on the painting in the background. Possibly the first time Philip/Belos turned into his mutated monster form?

I spotted another painting that was on screen for a fraction of a second before Hunter blocked it. It’s two people in sillhouette… sillouette… sillouhette… shadows. I think one of them might be Brother Wittebane and the other… I’m not so sure, but it kinda looks like they’re wearing a dress? So most likely not Philip. They’re holding hands. The witch Brother Wittebane had Hunter with perhaps?*

(*unless that theory I have turns out to be true)

I spotted these paintings here. I saw the first one and at first thought it was Hunter, but no. He has round ears, so that’s clearly Brother Wittebane, Hunter’s father. And he’s hugging (what’s probably) Philip after he turned into a monster.

In the second painting, we can see Philip, looking similar but slightly different from how he appeared in Elsewhere and Elsewhen (I don’t think his beard is as long as it was in that episode). He is holding a knife behind his back… We also see Brother Wittebane smiling at his brother.

The third painting looks like Philip (in his monster form maybe?) holding the knife while Brother Wittebane pleads with him.

The Child is leading them towards this painting, deep within the dead woods. This tree is slightly different. It’s ice blue for one thing. It’s surrounded by stars and a moon and has the symbol of The Collector on it. The painting itself shows the portal door.

[nihils-trolls]

Pep Talk (Or Something)

Villoh lies sprawled on the floor once again, staring up at the vaulted ceiling of her hive. Exhausted already, and the night’s barely begun.

It didn’t matter what she did for ‘self-care,’ barely anything made a dent in that wall of fatigue. Before, she was at least able to at least keep up her training regiment to get her arm back into shape. But now, it was hard enough just getting out of bed. She’d turned a few visitors away, even.

She ponders this all with a headache, wondering when the last time she actually felt energetic was. Somewhere in the middle of her thoughts buzzing like television static, a knock at the door disturbs them.

… Villoh wasn’t expecting anyone to come over. But, she guesses she’ll just have to tell them to go away. Hauling herself up, she shuffles over to the front door to open it. Slowly peeking her head out, she sees… someone familiar- and yet she doesn’t recognize her.

Her visitor is another jade that looks a hell of a lot like her. Curved pointy horns on her forehead, short fluffy and wild green hair. The only other real difference between the two of them was her nose and the scar covering the right side of her face. The stranger smiles warmly at her in a way she can’t really describe.

“Hey there. It’s… Villoh, right? Boy, you would not believe how hard it was to find you.”

Vee nods, a look of confusion making its way to her face. “Are… do I know you? I feel like I should.”

The stranger wavers her hand back and forth. “Eh, maybe. I doubt Delvah would’ve said anything about me. Grumpy old cunt that she is.” She then smiles again, introducing herself. “Havadi Marqis-- like you, the only other good one out of the bunch.”

Villoh doesn’t know what to say to that. She opens the door the rest of the way, standing up straight and getting a good look at Havadi again. That would explain why she looked so familiar, she’s related. Something in her memory stirs, recalling that name.

“What, don’t believe me?” She starts again. “Hm. That’s understandable actually. Lemme think of somethin’ real quick.”

“No, I believe you.” Villoh says, interrupting her thought. “It’d be dumb of me not to with the, uh, everything.” She then vaguely gestures at Havadi, which elicits a laugh.

“That so, love? Makes things a little easier for me.”

Villoh then sighs lightly, getting right to the point. “What are you doing here? You get asked to take me back to the caverns kicking and screaming or something? Cause I’m not going.”

Havadi scoffs. “No, fucking hell, no. I’ll have you know I left the caverns too. Long time ago, that. I came to have a lil chat with you. Real nice fellow came and asked me to, though I’ve been looking for ya’ for a bit already.”

“Really now?”

“Yeah. Some tall punk by the name of Geonni. Ring a bell?”

… In fact, that does. Why was he searching her out of all people? Couldn’t just come to talk to her directly like he normally does? Villoh puts a hand to her forehead, standing aside so that her visitor can enter. “Come on in, I guess. What did you want to talk about?”

Havadi hums before answering, following Villoh inside. “Came to ask how you’ve been holdin’ up. For one, I imagine you didn’t get the rundown on our lineage, but also… you’re the second one to walk away from the caverns, sweetie. I’m curious- what drove ya’ to it?”

Rundown? Villoh thinks to herself before replying. “Miss Head Matron said that I was ‘a disgrace’ and that the caverns would be better off with me leaving. So I did.”

“Aw, c’mon. There’s more to it than that.” The older jade rubs the back of her neck and looks away briefly. “I would know.”

Sighing, Vee sits down at the dining room table. “I was sick of it. I’m not good at any cavern work besides the dirty stuff. Lusii hate me, grubs do too. And on top of all of that, Delvah’s ‘sword training’ was the worst fucking time of my life,” she grumbles, beginning to talk expressively with her hands.

“She cut my arm off. Like, completely off! I didn’t know I could fucking regenerate, and I was 5 sweeps old. Who does that to a kid?”

Havadi winces, sucking air in through her teeth. “Ah. Yeah, I can see that bein’ your limit.” She then sighs and sits in turn, muttering a curse under her breath. “Again, I’m not here to drag you back to that mess. I’m here because I know for a fact some things that you don’t.”

“Care to elaborate on that?” Villoh says, unamused.

“How’ve you been feeling? Just in general? By any chance… lethargic, lightheaded and generally uncaring? Maybe even noticed your healing slow down? Losing weight?”

Villoh’s brow then furrows slightly. That was surprisingly dead on.

“Ah, hit the nail on the head, did I?” Havadi chuckles. “You’ve even got bags under your eyes, love.”

Vee scrubs at her face, rubbing an eye. “Okay, yeah. What of it, though? Nothin’ I’ve been doin’ seems to help. Just a stupid hurdle I apparently can’t throw myself over.”

“Ah- no, that’s not what it is.” Havadi’s tone turns slightly scolding in nature. “You seem like a good lass, and I’ll bet you’ve been feeling like this for a long time. She really got to you with that whole ‘personal failing’ bullshit, didn’t she?”

Rolling her eyes, Villoh looks away. She doesn’t want to answer that last question. “Clearly I can’t fix it. I’ve always been fucking tired. Just… now it’s been worse.”

“Well, lemme ask. You been eating enough?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? Sometimes I forget, but like. It’s not often I do.”

Havadi now returns an unamused look. “I mean it. Have you actually eaten until you stopped feeling hungry?”

Villoh’s expression turns genuinely puzzled. “No? Am I… supposed to?”

With a facepalm, Havadi then mutters something else under her breath. “It’s worse than I thought, dear messiahs. Yes, you’re supposed to. What the hell did you do to your head?”

“Nothing, it’s not like I got injured-”

“Villoh, dear, listen to me.” Havadi interrupts her. “You’re starving yourself! Sure you may eat, but it’s not enough to keep you thriving. And if you’re not getting enough normal troll food, I fear you’ve not been getting enough blood either.”

For a moment, Villoh just stares at her elder, unsure of what even to say. How she knows, because Havadi wouldn’t have brought it up otherwise. But then, it clicks- She’s a rainbow drinker too. Huh.

Havadi continues, realizing her moment of confusion. “Yes, I know you’re a drinker. I can tell just by lookin’. Somethin’ about takin’ one to know one.” she says with a smile. “Forget all that hubbub you heard from Delvah. Every criticism, nitpick, and insult she threw at you while you were stuck in that cavern.

It… won’t be easy. Sure wasn’t for me, kept hearing that old bag in my head for what felt like ages. But I can tell she got to you considerin’ what you said about why you left.”

Villoh looks away again, thinking hard on it. Havadi isn’t wrong, either. That constant, nagging voice in her head, criticizing everything she’s ever done since leaving it all behind- it wasn’t herself. She’s tried to ignore or spite it, for sure. However…

She looks back at Havadi. “Yeah, whatever. You can just say that, but-”

“-Doing it’s another thing entirely? Yeah. I know.” she interrupts. “And I might be wrong! You could be totally fine in that regard. But seriously girlie, you have got to start eating right. That metabolism will kill ya’ at this rate.”

Vee sighs again, propping her head up on her hand. She still finds it a little difficult that her problem could be solved so easily, but at this point there’s not really a lot of options besides seeing a doctor. And she does not want to do that again. “Surely you didn’t come here just to prod me about my issues. What do you want, family bonding or something?”

Havadi laughs hard at that. “If you want that. This is the surface world, you can do what you want- as I’m sure you know. But like I said, I’ve heard a lot about’cha. Think you’re neat. Wanna know how someone else who got away lives. Don’t gotta talk, though. You can tell me to leave and I’ll fuck right off.”

Villoh shakes her head, making a face. “No, god. It’s not like I hate you for showing up or anything. I… I don’t mind talking.”

“Great then. I thought, since you look exhausted, maybe we could get lunch and do that? I’ll even pay.”

That gets Vee to smile. “Sure. I’m liking you already.”

[ouraniatm]

hi, gamers, i cutely added the VOICELINES section on cora's carrd, so please check them out if you're curious! will probably add them more in future, but i ain't got the brain juices rn LMAO. though, just in case, i'll also copy paste them here, under read more. (warning: too sassy for those of faint heart).

SHARED.

TUTORIAL: "are we done here?" LEVEL UP 1: "huh...didn't think i'd get any stronger." LEVEL UP 2: "levelling up won't do much, to me." LEVEL UP 3: "alright...i can get used to this." LEVEL MAX: "i guess i'm all set...hm? what, you expect me to thank you? don't get your hopes up." VIGNETTE LEVEL UP: "y'know, when i tell people to buzz off, they do exactly that...but, you're different. ah, well, not that i care enough to know why." SPELL LEVEL UP: "magic's good and all, but you gotta have the brains to use it right." UNCAPPED: "man, you're annoying, thinking this'll make us automatically closer...hey, what's so funny?" GROOVIFICATION: "all this pampering makes me think you're just buttering me up. heh...gotta try harder than that, buddy." LESSON SELECT 1: "another lesson...really excited to sit around and do nothing." LESSON SELECT 2: "at least studying will distract me from my pointless duties." LESSON SELECT 3: "you wanna pick? eh, be my guest...i don't really care, either way." LESSON START: "c'mon, get this over with, already." LESSON FINISH: "ugh...has a century passed?" BATTLE START: heh...you're all a bunch of jokes. BATTLE WON: that all you got, wussies?

DORM UNIFORM CARD LINES (SSR).

SUMMON: "someone's got the guts to come here. what're you looking for, a medal?" GROOVY: "i hate being told what to do...but, i also hate weaklings who can't do their job right." SET TO HOME SCREEN: "being a vice housewarden is basically a babysitting job, without the payment." HOME TRANSITION 1: "sure, ignihyde's gloomy and full of spineless cowards...but, comparing to other dorms, it's pretty tolerable." HOME TRANSITION 2: "i don't get people who would kill for these positions. not that i can't deal with it, but still...you'd have to be a masochist to enjoy being hogged by everyone." HOME TRANSITION 3: "why're you still sticking around? case in point, i'm currently busy ignoring you on purpose." HOME, AFTER LOGIN: "huh, my uniform? you wear these to show which dorm you belong to. shocking, i know...gee, can't take a joke?" HOME TRANSITION/GROOVIFICATION: "thought i told you to leave me alone...why do i even bother? here, have some salty chips." TAP HOME 1: "apparently, ignihyde's whole aesthetic is based off the actual underworld. well, i'll give 'em this: they definitely hit too close to home...maybe even breached on sensitive parts." TAP HOME 2: "what's idia complaining about, this time? ugh, it's like that oversized crybaby can't do anything but throw HIS work on ME." TAP HOME 3: "y'know how this uniform usually has pants? well, i made mine into shorts...feels more comfy, if you ask me. plus, the stockings aren't too bad, either." TAP HOME 4: "usually, i shoo people off without a hitch...but somehow, i can't do the same to ortho. maybe it's 'cuz he's not an insufferable, spoiled brat." TAP HOME 5: "there're no good people, no matter who they are. we've all got our motives and goals, even if it means stomping through some measly pushovers...better keep your guard up." TAP HOME/GROOVIFICATION: "for some reason, these stray cats keep crawling around my legs. man, they're annoying...what, you don't think so? then, take 'em off me if you like them so much." DUO MAGIC:cora: "hiding behind me again, eh, idia?" idia: "j-just take care of this, cora..."

BDAY JACKET CARD LINES (SSR).

SUMMON: "yeah, yeah, the birthday star's here, hardy harr. stop rushing me..." GROOVY: "finally, the attention's off me. ugh...at least it's only once a year." SET TO HOME SCREEN: "alright, got the jacket on. let's get this over with." HOME TRANSITION 1: "i didn't bother changing my regular clothes off. the flashy jacket's more than enough." HOME TRANSITION 2: "ignihyde students aren't the type to host parties...which is why i got caught off guard when they actually did one for my birthday." HOME TRANSITION 3: "everyone says i should be more happy during celebrations...in reality, i don't see the point to smile 'round a bunch of nobodies." HOME, AFTER LOGIN: "why's everyone so excited over birthdays, anyway? they're just a waste of time, serving no purpose but us growing older." HOME TRANSITION/GROOVIFICATION: "this package of hair dye vil-dono got for me, i can work with...but, makeup? what am i, a beauty enthusiast?" TAP HOME 1: "did anyone tell silver he sucks at giving gifts? if not, then i sure did after he gave me a bunch of tea bags. apparently, it's to help me fall asleep...as if it's that easy." TAP HOME 2: "jamil went out of his way to get me a collectable figurine, limited edition, too. dunno if he's trying to suck up to me, but it's something." TAP HOME 3: "outta everyone i know, it's no surprise idia would take one extra mile. for that reason, now i got a brand new video game console he, himself, built." TAP HOME 4: "i dunno who funds these parties, but they're clearly meant to distract us from the fact nobody cares about each other." TAP HOME 5: "you're asking if i'm enjoying the party? hm...if you consider 'being asked stupid questions' as enjoyment, then sure thing." TAP HOME/GROOVIFICATION: "ugh, why do we gotta have our faces smeared with pies? vil-dono sure didn't hesitate to do that on me...someone's got a grudge." DUO MAGIC:cora: "guess i should thank you for this, vil-dono." vil: "a surprisingly nice gesture, cora. happy birthday."

[an-atlas-or-other]

So I’ve seen a bunch of people annotating movies and stuff so I thought it’d be fun to do myself. Here we go, Battle of the Supersons (2022). I’m… worried.

Why does Krypton look like a green hellscape?

And why are we going through Superman’s origin story? I thought this was a supersons film

Oh that’s why

Does that mean Starro was the reason Krypton was destroyed in this universe?

Ooo comic book art

Martha and Johnathan Kent are dead?

Speaking of, they really can’t pick who lives and dies between them. I’ve seen versions where they’re both dead, where they both live, and in that old as balls Superman film I’m pretty sure they only killed John. The only combination I haven’t yet seen is one where only Martha dies

Jesus Christ Jon’s hair is so messy, it puts mine to shame

Oh here comes the theme of the movie

Why are they always out for video games, leave them alone

Not just of the year, Lois has won the Pulitzer??? Why didn’t they mention that instead

Okay so Jon clearly doesn’t have his powers yet

They’re on the farm? I thought they lived in the city?

COSPLAY LMAO

Yess hide the evidence boy

CLARK WHAT THE FUCK

His voice is so wrong and he looks so weird, everyone else has normal proportions and there he is using cartoon logic to have a Dorito shaped chest and a tiny ass head and legs

Father-son bonding, adorable

Oh nice shoes

Yeah he even looks weird as Superman also why is the ISS falling out of orbit

Nevermind it’s the Watchtower

Yeah let’s just ignore that that’s nothing like a debris entry hole (on that note, something jarringly similar happened with the Soyuz capsule on the real ISS a while ago and now like three astronauts are stranded there for another six months waiting for the replacement to get there, which is a weird coincidence)

Why does every version of Arrow look so different like seriously

I like his design though, he looks cool

Do they really announce who’s batting at baseball games? That’s so lame, no wonder he’s getting bullied

SWING MY GUY JUST SWING THE DAMN BAT

Clark’s packing some mad man-tit game

Dude where are you running to it’s your dad’s property for miles out

The boots pft

Jon’s so cute omg

Yes just let random people see your son flying with you in public Im sure that’s fine /sar

I would be going insane rn I would not be as elated as he is

Sideburns

Superboy’s taken? Does that mean Kon exists in this universe? Why isn’t Jon asking about him?

GOTHAM STINKS LMAO

Batman looks cool also Penguin has a ponytail and it doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would

The Cave looks awesome wow

Damian why are you so immature?

Rah’zz? RAH’ZZ??? THE OL’ RAH’ZZ’L DAHZ’LL?? NO it’s pronounced RAY’SH like from the Hebrew word resh do you really think the (most likely white, let’s be honest here) creators of the Al Ghuls knew about Arabic anything? They probably just went with Hebrew and said “eh, it’s close enough.”

Damian you’re so cruel

NURSING MY BAT-WOUNDS

Oh Cassie she’s so cute

The eye twitch

BAT COW

Small-town hick

So he did let him milk her (also its a bat-bucket with bat-milk- WAIT NO-)

Well at least South America exists in this universe

Batman and Superman look like mini figurines omg I want one

Nerrrrrrds with good grrrraaaaaaades

Ooo great burn Kent he really felt that one (I’m lying)

That’s mildly horrific

Well its better then that one fight scene in Batman v Robin which isn’t saying much but at least it’s average

Ooo long knife

He ded

Melvin don’t deserve shit

I love how scandalized Jon looks

Damian should have punched him

Starro’d Lois is kind of creepy

Should have done that earlier Einstein

Why does he know about STAR Labs? Actually his mom is Lois Lane nevermind

How’d he turn it if he can’t fly

Krypto?????

Well he can float now

Yeah, why did you come here?

Good boy

How’d their noses change so much between two generations

Why does Damian only talk in whispers it’s kind of weird

Jimmy is so cute 100/10

MONOLOGUES LMFAO

Oh he’s got his complete costume now

WHY WOULD YOU SEND THEM OFF WITHOUT TELLING THEM THAT SOME GRANDPAPS YOU ARE

That spaceship is so adorable why is everything so cute omg

Hacked? It’s your computer, you just looked it up (I bet he just said that to look cool)

Oh yeah Luthor’s the president for some reason I got it in my head that it was her father

Also his voice is so wrong again

“Nah you ticked me off you can die instead”

Awe Dami that’s sweet

She said bitch on live television

OH SURE SAY YOUR SON’S FULL NAME ON A NATIONAL ANNOUNCEMENT I BET THATS NOT GONNA COME BACK TO BITE YOU IN THE ASS

Poor Wally, ran straight into a wall

MMH looks awesome

I love how you can see the small differences in their fighting straight away

Awe Dami watching his friend’s back

Tall bat ears

That’s not how Kryptonite works but whatever at this point

I’m debating whether or not the writers even knew much about the comics to begin with at this point if they got something to basic wrong

That was an interesting editing choice

Also what happened to Alfred they didn’t even show if he got Hive Minded or what

Why does Damian’s hair stick up like that can he even put on the hood or is it just for decoration?

There’s a subtle but rather jarring change in how Mama Starro is animated and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one irked about it but still

Thats not how things fall out of orbit

Also the perspective makes the station look about the size of Argentina and how did no one notice this during production

Yas stab the president with the flag

There’s symbolism in there somewhere but I’m not bothered enough to dissect it

I would have written this “resigning to death” scene differently but it’s a kids movie so I’ll let it pass

I love how Batman’s face doesn’t change at all when he spoke to his own child (who almost fucking died)

Awesome but also nooo don’t bat it randomly into space throw it into the sun or something

How do all the adult men look so weird and then Bruce looks so… normal

OMG HIS HAIR IS COMBED BACK AND HES IN A SUIT THATS FUCKING HILARIOUS

Oh and now that Damian’s actually in full lighting you can see he’s been whitewashed (again)

At least it’s not as bad as Ian

That’s not how physics works but whatever

HAHAHA poor Jon

At least Damian’s got the perfect sort-of indestructible friend for him to bully

Overall, good movie. I enjoyed it thoroughly even if the story seemed a little off at times. Sometimes I wondered if the writers even knew much about the DC universe to begin with save for surface level knowledge. 7/10

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 26th April

Ugh. That's it for today. Just... ugh.

My September Love - David Whitfield (peaked at Number 3)

I didn't see who this was by, at first glance. Instead, I saw the title, and thought, "Hey, neat title. Kinda reminds me of September Song, or the one that goes do you remember". I was briefly quite optimistic. Then I saw that we are in for another David Whitfield number, so... eh.

Off the bat, I'm hoping for a sort of melancholy song about falling in love later in life, or after being in love with somebody else for metaphorical "summer" season. That feels like how the seasonal metaphor ought to work, right?

Wow, okay, so we've started with some very Disney strings, which are actually quite nice. And to his credit, David, when he comes in, is kept quite low in the mix, so he doesn't overpower them early on, even though he's clearly singing at full volume from the get go. So kudos to whoever made that decision while recording, I guess? And also, kudos to whoever did the string parts here, more generally, because they're lovely.

David, as per usual, I can take or leave. Despite the aforementioned good mixing, he still does belt just about every line here, with two settings: loud and REALLY LOUD. It's not the worst performance I've heard from him, though, and there are no moments that made me actively wince. Actually, I think the song just about fits David's style quite well, with its slow pacing and its gradual buildup to a fairly moderate high note. It's fine, which is better than I expected going into this.

The song itself is pretty short, actually, just a verse and then a chorus that repeats. At least I think that's what I'm getting here. And thematically, it's also pretty simple, with David thinking back to time spent with his love, back in September. We get Lazy autumn days in all their glory, followed by Nights that saw the start of our love story, which almost feels like its hinting at something a bit steamier - but then we're back in safe territory with leaves that match her golden hair. It paints a postcard-worthy picture of autumn. There's none of that melancholy I was predicting, just a nice song about being in love in autumn.

Except it is all about memories and remembering a love who it sounds like has left, for whatever reason. Which I guess adds a layer of melancholy, especially since we don't really learn what's happened to David's love, only that And in December, still glows the embers / Of my September love. Which... okay? Did she leave him? Did she die? Did they just drift apart? I don't know, and in a way, that's even better - it can be a song about anything, applicable to whatever situation you've got going on in your life, like so many of the best songs.

Yeah, I surprised myself here. It's still not going to top any personal favourite lists, but for David, this was a surprisingly respectable outing, and I have no qualms with naming it as my favourite. I have to confess, I do wonder how people saw music like this in 1956. We're still pretty early on in the charts, but already, music like this really does feel a bit dated. Sometimes in a charming way, but dated nonetheless.

Favourite song of the surprisingly okay bunch: My September Love

[world-of-jademountain]

Winter Competition Entry

Winglet Comp Entry by Lorelei Sterling

It was a beautiful winter weekend, the fire blazing, snow nonexistent, and the tree sparkling. Lorelei sat across from her fireplace in a comfy and cushy chair. Her head was stuck inside of a magnificent story with too many twists and turns to keep track of! It was the perfect weekend to calm down before the next week. Lore sat in her fuzzy socks and cozy sweater, knowing she didn't have to do anything right at this moment. The quiet sound of bells sounded, but Lore barely noticed them. She kept sitting there, reading. She didn't realize there was a small spark on her fireplace, growing bigger and bigger until it was a small light. Even then Lore didn't notice it. But it kept growing, until the brightness disturbed Lore's book-reading trance. She blinked and looked at the growing light, not sure what was happening, a weird fire? Maybe Lorelei needed glasses. Maybe she needed to stop eating so many cookies. The light seemed to stop growing once Lore noticed it, as if content with the attention it had now recived. Lore was naturally, confused. She got off the chair, worried enough to move from her comfortable position. She slowly approached the weird beam and, extremely impulsively, reached her hand out to touch the light. But the moment her hand got near it's aura, bells sounded quietly and a piece of paper popped out from the beam. Lorelei yelped and practically teleport-ed five feet away. Yeah, not her best moment, but hey, it was a healthy reaction.Soon after the paper appeared, the light started to diminish until it dissipated. After staring wide eyed at the paper for about a million years, Lore carefully walked over to the paper lying on the floor. She cautiously reached her hand out and snatched the paper of the floor. She looked around, looking for a blizzard or something to happen. Nothing. Lore looked down at the paper in her hand and flipped it over, realizing it was a letter. The stamp had a happy looking elderly man, with the largest beard and Christmas hat in the world. Lore assumed Santa Clause. She read the return address and was stunned to see 'Clause Christmas, North Pole'. 'What kind of animus prank is this?' She thought, finding that as the only legit option for this odd turn of events. She opened the envelope and tentatively pulled out the paper inside. Except, the paper kept coming until the paper was at least ten feet long. Lorelei finally found the end of the yellowing paper and looked at the heading on the top of the letter. It read 'The Naughty List'. 'Ridiculous,' Lorelei thought. She scanned the names, finding that she didn't know a single person except.... Lorelei Sterling? That's when Lore decided aloud "I'm too not busy for pranks right now. The emperor is about to find out the maid's cousin is his fiance, and I wanna read." She declared. Lorelei bunched up the paper (with a bit of difficulty) and waved it in the air, "No more pranks animus, or I'm going too spoil all of the new series of 'Loki' to you, got it?" She said, talking to air. Lore dramatically threw the paper ball into her fire, and returned to her story."Well, she's not a believer is she? Should we send her something to make her believe, or just leave it?""Eh, too much work, leave adults to their negetivity. Children are better."Elf Juny sighed and shook her head at Elf Katy's response. "Ahh when adults trusted Santa."Elf Katy watched Ms. Sterlings reaction over their sugar glass monitors. "We tested her. She failed. NEXT!" Elf Katy called. A new video was pulled up and the elves watched another adult loose trust in Santa Clause.

[rebelheartsmustbefree]

Valentines Day- 

No good deed… 

I don't know if I'll be back. It's a long story and I sure as fuck don't want to talk about my feelings. 

*It sounded harsh but Jason was pushing the issue and I didn't want to "hash out" what I was going through. I heard his sigh, I frowned.* 

I need time, Jay. I got a couple locals to fill in so you're not there alone every day. 

*He grumbled and I listened but I wasn't changing my mind. There was literally nowhere back there that I could be without it hurting so running from it was the best choice. It was MY choice. We said our goodbyes and the call ended, he was in no better mood and neither was I. I tucked my phone into my pocket and walked into the bar. I'm sure there was a joke somewhere about an Angel walking into a bar but I was in no mood for humor.* 

Ah.. what the fuck? 

*The place looked like cupid blew his load all over. Red and pink streamers hung up all over, little hearts dangling from them, love songs pathetically playing from an old jukebox in the corner. Please.. why did it have to be today.* 

Are you here for the speed dating?

*I heard a voice from behind me and then a tap on my arm. Chuckling as I turned around, this woman with a pretty smile greeted me.* 

No, I'm definitely not here for that. But I would highly appreciate you pointing me to the darkest corner I could be alone in and the best bottle of whiskey you can give me.

*I wasn't about to sign up for some dating thing. I figured in back woods Arkansas, gays are probably frowned apon. Besides, I was here for a night to sleep and be on my way and making uncomfortable small talk with anyone right now was the last thing I needed. She motioned over to the corner by the dart board and told me she'd bring me the bottle here in a minute after she helped her customers.* 

Take your time, sweetheart. 

*I felt bad about being the rain on her parade. She seemed excited about this whole dating Valentines Day thing she's set up. I had a thought. Before I'd reached the table I turned back and followed her over to the bar.* 

Hey.. did you want to join in on that dating shindig you got going on? I can run the bar for you while you do. *I turned on the charm and offered her my best smile. She seemed lonely and I could relate. Maybe she could find herself a date and not feel so lonesome tonight.* 

I.. I.. can't really pay you or anything. *I waved my hand, dismissing all that.* 

Let me have that bottle so I can have my drink and we're even. I'll even let you have all the tips. 

*She was grinning ear to ear at that point. Eh.. what the hell, might as well do a good deed. Maybe it will help my mood. I could tell she was a romantic, setting all this up so people could meet people and maybe find love. She was an optimist. I used to feel like that but cynicism won out in the end. But tonight for that chick, I'd stow away my bullshit and help her. 

She was practically skipping over to sign up and pay the organizer the entrance fee when she turned around and looked at me.* 

Wait.. do you know how to bartend? 

*I laughed and nodded, telling her not to worry. Her bar was in good hands. I poured myself a shot and downed it, grinning over at her.* 

You just have fun and leave the bartending to me for the night. 

*And she did. I tended to the customers and hopeful daters while she let herself be bubbly and talkative, trying to find a good one out of the bunch. Everytime the little bell would ring for them to switch, I'd look up to see which male was sitting down at her table next. 

Everyone seemed to be having a good time, the talk was like a continuous hum of excitement that filled the room. Also filling the room was all the hormones. Jesus these people needed laid. I finished up waiting on a couple guys and I leaned back against the bar and had a couple more shots while watching. The bell chimed out another time, signaling for the males to switch tables again and that's when I saw her walking quickly to the bar. It was the terror in her eyes that alarmed me but when she mouthed for me to "call the police", the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. 

My eyes quickly scanned the room and I searched for who or what she was running from and then I saw him. He was making quick strides towards her, yelling for her to stop. My heart caught in my throat when I saw the shimmer of light as the gunpowder ignited just before the bullet launched from the chamber. I didn't even think but instead before I knew it, I was grabbing her and shoving her down and out of the way of the bullet. 

The man stared at me, probably wondering who the fuck I was. But two of the male daters tackled him to the ground and kicked away the gun. I kneel down and check on her, making sure she was okay. As I help her up, she's explaining how that guy is her ex boyfriend and he's been nothing but trouble.* 

I can see that. But are you okay? Did you get hit??

*She was getting to her feet with the help of me and another girl when they stopped and stared at me. I felt the warmth spreading up and down my right side, blood soaking through my shirt in a hurry. Apparently I'd taken the bullet for her. I hadn't even felt it at first but now it was like someone stuck a hot fireplace poker right through my lungs. Fuck. It must have gone right through. I took a shallow breath and stumbled back, holding my side. I heard the girl screaming for someone to call 911 as I hit the flood mid blackout.* 

#TBC