#i know I’m in error assuming a gender

[larrylimericks]

16Feb23

Wake up, gays, we’re back in stunt hell; There’s a film and an image to sell, So a new stunt unfurls, Same old shit, different girl— Hey, DM, who’s Lou’s blonde personnel?

[incognitopolls]

hi, i sent in a comment back when one (not me) anon said they were unfollowing due to constant cisnormativity and gender essentialism in the polls. you didn't answer my ask back then, or maybe the ask disappeared since tumblr does that sometimes, but i would appreciate it if you would answer this, because i think it would be beneficial for everyone to actually talk about this openly.

i'd just like to ask, knowing that you may edit polls submitted to be more inclusive and clearer, why is the recent poll about preferences for a partner's pubic hair specifically for people with penises? and if there is another poll coming that's the same but for people with vaginas, i'm wondering why it would be necessary for a question like it to be separated like that. personally i don't see how that would make a big, or more importantly an interesting difference in the results. to me all it seems like it's doing is excluding intersex people and supporting this idea of "the two sexes" being fundamentally completely different from each other and someone's genitals playing a big part in defining people's preferences.

i'm not intending this as a hate comment, but as a genuine request for conversation around this subject, as you yourself said to the anon that unfollowed, that you'd like to hear about their side. i know i'm not said anon, but i think we're kind of talking about the same subject here, and recently there's been a lot of polls here separating people via genitals, and it's beginning to make me feel a little uncomfortable, in big part due to it implying that a huge portion of people here see gender and/or sex as a binary, and that people on the opposite ends of that binary are fundamentally different from each other due to their sex/gender.

apologies for the long ask, i just really wanted to avoid misunderstandings so i may have rambled a bit more than necessary.

Hi! Thanks for bringing up your concerns. The way I interpreted that question is that anon was curious whether pubic hair affects the sensation on the penetrating partner‘s penis, or whether pubic hair can be a hindrance– for example, acting as a barrier, or adding friction.

The original question was only aimed at people with penises, and I hadn’t planned on posting any variations for different genitals because (from what I’m assuming about anon’s curiosity) the question is so specific in asking about the sensation and/or logistics for a penis navigating around hair. I don’t think it would be helpful or yield any interesting data to post the same poll for people with other genitals. 

In this case, I think my error was in not specifying “does a partner’s pubic hair affect the sensation on your penis during penetration?”. That’s the question I think anon was trying to ask, but unfortunately it was more clear in my and anon’s heads and didn’t come across in writing as clearly as I thought I was saying it. 

Also, in response to the sentiment that there have been a lot of genital-related polls lately, there have been about 3 in the past 2 weeks, or about 3%. (7 polls per day; 49 polls per week; 98 polls every two weeks.) I understand if it seems like a lot, but the actual saturation is fairly low. I'm saying this not to dismiss you, but in the hopes of reassuring you that this blog is not shifting to become more heavily focused on separating people's genitals.

I got a number of helpful messages about the previous conversation on dyadism. I didn't respond to them due to some things in my personal life that limited my time, but I read them and have them saved as a reminder to myself when writing up polls so that I can continue to make these polls more inclusive of intersex people– I promise those messages weren’t ignored.

[thatoneapollokidevan]

heard you were suffering from writers block so I am here to ask for a fix :)

imagine:

being Pavitr’s friend for YEARS. I’m talking since diapers. Only to see him run after the same girl, Gyatri. You encourage him, of course. But, one night when he comes home with flowers, you attempt to cheer him up, assuming Gyatri rejected him. When in reality, he bought you flowers with her help and even prepared a little speech so he can finally tells you how he feels.

(I have a Hobie idea that is similar to this as well that’s more abt babysitting Mayday.)

i love this idea so much

since you didn’t request gender it’s gonna be neutral

no pronouns used for reader (as usual)

btw English isn’t my first language so it might be some grammar and spelling errors

• You’ve been his friend for as long as you could remember your earliest memory is when you were 5 and your and his family were having a dinner together

• there’s even pictures of when you two were in diapers together

• and you might have developed a teeny tiny crush on him

• but you’ve never acted on it bc of his crush on Gyatri

• Tbh it was a little sad seeing him being so hopelessly romantic for her but you were his best friend (sorry Hobie)

• You didn’t want to end your friendship bc of a stupid crush

• So no matter how sad you were you were always by his side

“Tonight is the night I’m going to tell her how i feel” he said

“Yeah at least I’ll finally catch a break from you straight up simping for her” you said jokingly

”I’m not simping” he said jokingly offended

“whatever help’s you sleep at night” you said and Pavitr slightly elbowed your side

• little did you know is that the person your best friend had been obsessing over was you and Gyatri had helped bim trying to confess to you

• but he made sure never to lie

•whenever he said that he was gonna tell her how he felt he meant tell her how he felt about you

• It was the next day aka Saturday

• he picked this day so he could confess to you during the sunset

• he had called you to sit by your favourite place

•it was a tall rooftop with an entrance that was almost secret

•you first thought that he was rejected bc he sounded a little more nervous and shyer on the phone

• never in a million years would you imagine that he was there with flowers…. For you!

“What the heck is all this” you said with a small chuckle

“Hi there, Y/N,

I've known you for what seems like an eternity, but even in all our time together, I've never been able to put into words how I truly feel about you.

Every time I see you, you make my heart skip a beat. Your presence alone makes me feel at ease, no matter what troubles I face in life. Being with you is like being in a warm embrace; I feel safe, protected, and loved.

I cherish every moment we've had as friends, but what I really want is to explore something more with you. I want us to be more than just friends. I want to be your partner, your lover, your everything.

No matter what happens, I promise to always be there for you. Whether we live on the same planet, or in different galaxies, my love for you will never fade.

Will you be mine?”

• You looked at him blushing like crazy

“y-you were into me this hole time!”

“Y-yes heh suprise!”

“please don’t just look at me like tha-“

•you interrupted him by hugging him

“Yes, I’d love to be yours” <3

[sherbet-shark]

Malleus, Kalim, Leona and Riddle with a very expressive and excitable s/o that can't speak, headcanons

A Quiet Love

| 〘 ⋇ Genre: Fluff〙 | 〘 ⋇W/C: 2.9k〙 | 〘 ⋇ Format: Drabble +Hc〙|〘 ⋇Content: 〙 | Twst boys responding to a nonverbal gender neutral mc, s/o. Some boys are mean fair warning.

|〘 ⋇ Summary:〙| Head cannons with a non-verbal but expressive and excitable mc with their twst boy.

Author’s note: Oooh! This is my first time doing multiple boys for head canon in a while! Thank you for requesting! But I’m assuming that you’re requesting a nonverbal mc that’s excitable and expressive? I’ve done research on this topic and tried to be as respectful as possible but while I am not nonverbal. In my early life did have a speech disorder making it hard for me to speak/not want to speak. If there are any errors that anyone finds in this request I humbly ask for criticism and forgiveness.

◦ Ok, at first, he’s going to think it’s odd that you’re not talking to him. By this time, he doesn’t have a solid acquaintance relationship with you, but your expressiveness and excitability remind him of a small child. Riddle’s irritability increases when he asks questions, and you answer with hums and body gestures.

Poise and grace are thrown to the wayside as he demands you speak using words; he thinks you’re being defiant and disrespectful and not talking to him with words. It was right before his Overblot at the Unbirthday Party too. The combination of the Mont Blanc and his perception of you, a magic-less no one dare defy his resolute orders? Deuce tried to come to your rescue, but he didn’t get the chance to adequately explain your responses before they got thrown out of the dorm. Roseheart’s jaw tightened as eyebrows scrunched up, and he cast his Unique Magic on you, Ace, Deuce, and Grim for your transgressions.

◦ After you and co. Dealt with Riddle’s Overblot, and during the revenge Unbirthday Party. Your first-year friends and Trey could now appropriately explain to Riddle that you were nonverbal, but you could express yourself in other ways that aren’t words. His face fell as fast as light as the words finally settled in. The gravity of his actions and how he treated you was… inexcusably cruel. Trey tried to soothe his childhood friend’s piling guilt, but it only made Riddle more remorseful.

Before you and Grim left Heartslaybul, Riddle personally pulled you aside to apologize for his heartless actions; remorse shone brightly in his slate grey eyes, meeting yours for a split second, then falling to the ground. Uncharacteristic nervousness and shame overcame the second year. Perhaps it was still because Riddle was recouping from his Overblot, but the amount of guilt engulfed his whole body. He didn���t even realize he held his breath, and his body tensed until you hesitantly tapped his pristine Dorm Uniform. That was the start of something unprecedented—a road to your friendship and eventual romantic relationship.

◦ Depending if you like to use other ways to communicate, like writing, AAC, Sign Language, Riddle will be pretty perceptive and considerate towards you. He knows you’re partial to showing your enthusiasm by your body language and thus has made it his mission to keep an eye on you, not only because he’s your boyfriend but because he knows what it feels like to be brushed over, to have your ideas, desires squashed for the “right way.”

◦ While Riddle is still a short fuse, he’s trying to reel in his strict ways. That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though. He’ll reprimand you when both know you’ve crossed the Queen of Heart’s Rules, but he is more gentle in private. He doesn’t want to make you think he’s an unreasonable tyrant like before. He wants to show that he has changed for the better. He’s certainly not perfect, but he’s working to be better. He’s very protective of you and closely monitors how peers act toward you. He knows that others may pick on you for being non-verbal, even more so because you’re dating a dorm leader. Riddle is quick on the offensive and coldly gives them a tongue lashing but not before he uses his UM. This isn’t always the case, though. He doesn’t want to baby you, Riddle respects you too much, and besides, ADeuce is you’re honorary guard dog.

◦ Throughout the entirety of your romantic relationship, you can tell he’s more perceptive of your emotions and expressive self. By the two inches if your shoulders sag, Riddle’s questioning if you are tired, by the way, your eyebrow twitches he’ll gently place his hand nearest you to calm you down, or the way his cheeks dust pink when he sees you express your love for him as the redhead shyly reciprocates.

◦ He’s way more perceptive than Riddle is, which means he understands what exactly is going on with you and your lack of speech. By the mere time you stepped on his tail, your hands shot up to your face, frantically trying to say you were sorry.

However, he doesn’t care. Why should he? One less nuisance to tune out or tattle on his plans. Whenever you interact with him, he’s condescending towards you, and Leona doesn’t pull any punches either. He still threatened to knock your lights out before Ruggie came to interrupt your comeuppance. Whatever, the beastman has more important things to plan and check in on than some nonverbal herbivore. Leona might not say anything but the air surrounding himself whenever he is around you wafts superiority and boredom, but he doesn’t pick on you. He leaves you to your devices. He’s not low or stupid to waste his energy on someone like you but instead ignores your existence.

◦ So, in reality. Your relationship is purely peer-like. The dorm leader thought you were a nosy little herbivore, while you thought Leona was an entitled overgrown house cat. During his rebellion in October, you’d roll your eyes, and a corner of your lip rose, injuring other students for the sake of a game. It seemed stupid and childish to harm your mind. But you kept hot on his heels alongside Adeuce and Grim. Only during the aftermath of his Overblot do you begin to be sympathetic and cordial to the prideful lion. You treated him with respect, and he gradually warmed up to you. I mean, you dealt with his Overblot and his schemes head-on. That warrants enough consideration from him so that he’ll pull back on the patronizing vibes.

◦ Leona, like Riddle, will think you’re like a small child or like the pain in his neck nephew; Cheka with how excitable and expressive you are, but, because he’s out of his obsession with winning the Magishift Tournament, he’s more tolerant of you. Kingscholar acts sort of like a cat. Now that you think about it, he had time to get used to you, leave when he got bored, and whether he liked it or not, got used to your excitable presence. When Leona wanders upon some students running their mouths, saying some choice words about you and your gaggle of friends. He was fine, chill even. Your gang of friends is nosy and annoying, but when the conversation spiraled into making fun of you and how you’re nonverbal, that’s what made him pounce in a figurative sense.

“Stop your bitchin’. It’s getting annoying. More so than seeing those freshmen run around chasing that grey fur ball and, geez, picking on someone at the bottom of the food chain? How pathetic are you both? Now, scatter before I lose my temper.” Vibrant green eyes glaring daggers into their faces as his lion tail flicks, the students meekly apologized and left, securing their tails between their legs.

◦ Because of his heightened feline senses, his Lion ears will twitch and perk in your direction if and when you use other ways to communicate, if you use AAC, or a pen and paper, while his ears aren’t as well tuned to an actual cat’s senses, they can pick up noises somewhat close by and your devices aren’t necessarily quiet either. So he finds himself propped on his side, listening to your day as you track him down. Most days, Leona would ignore you, letting things go from one ear out the other, at least in your view. He never responded, but whenever Ruggie appeared, he’d snicker as you displayed your concern with knitted brows and a deepest frown. The hyena would roll his eyes and pat your shoulder, stating despite how his aloof Dorm Leader acts most of the time, Leona does have some semblance of care, even if he refuses to show it conventionally.

◦ Unlike how fast and open Riddle sort of was with the prospect of dating you, Leona and yourself had a long time of being “not quite friends but not lovers.” Still, everyone at NRC knew you meant something to Leona, and while you were more enthusiastic about your affections, he never shooed you away. While he did think your excitable nature is tiring, Leona sticks with you, and you’ve adjusted to tone things down just by a little. Maybe someday soon, Leona would allow himself to find happiness with you by his side. But till he realizes that you’re sticking with him, you’ll be there for him.

◦ To be quite frank, Kalim is the most receptive, understanding, and darling toward you right off the bat. He desperately wants you to feel included and seen as yourself. But sometimes, his help feels patronizing, and he’s too oblivious to sometimes pick up on the subtle hints you’re giving. There were times, especially before Jamil’s overblot, where his help, while good-natured, felt overwhelming and pushy. He treats you like you're an incapable child that gets on your nerves, but you’re the one that has to take the wind out of his sails gently. Jamil tried to reprimand his Dorm Leader, but you shook your head with a serious expression looking at Jamil’s irritated face. Kalim’s sweet nature makes it hard for you to put him down gently, you don’t need help with every small task, nor do you need to be watched like a hawk by Jamil and Kalim. Jamil is somewhat ok because he seems like the responsible one, but he treats you like you’re an equal, not a toddler.

◦ Kalim immediately apologizes for his actions and sheepishly backs off his odd overbearing nature. Even Jamil remarks that Kalim doesn’t act like this, but the long-haired man soon realizes,

“Aah, I’m so sorry, you see, some of my younger siblings back home have trouble speaking, and when I’d see them, I’d be protective over them.” Kalim scratches the back of his pearl white hair nervously as he internally sweats at his mistake. Under the gaze of his newfound friend and Jamil made Kalim antsy as Viper raised a curious brow.

◦ Kalim’s reasonably flexible with the other ways you want to communicate if you use them. If you use devices and bodily gestures, his ruby eyes will grow wide as he watches the machine start to speak what you want to communicate. It’s so intriguing to watch you type on the device, then it talks. He’s very excitable and enthusiastic, so whenever you’re in a room together, it feels like your energies are bouncing off of each other’s presence. Even in simple conversation, Kalim’s face is highly expressive, and it’s not hard for you to piece it together.

He doesn’t think you’re acting like a child because, as he said before, some of his siblings had trouble with speaking, and while they may not be as severe but he understands your situation. Thus making him hyperaware of hearing other students that may have something mean about you. Although he’s not the threat or has that intimidation factor like the other three, he does have Jamil, and he is the dorm leader of Scarabia. But at least in his dorm, people seem to be minding their own business and thinking before they act.

◦ The dorm leader is a unique case, you’d think he’d be open to having a romantic relationship with you, but first, you had to deepen your platonic friendship, which was surprisingly hard. The pearl-haired man acts like everyone’s his friend, but there’s still a distance between himself and others around him if you look hard enough. He’s cheerful and happy-go-lucky, but it seems he didn’t have a deep friendship with anyone other than Jamil. Perhaps it’s because from what you’ve heard, Kalim stuck to the pessimistic man like glue in their young life. He has well-hidden walls, and as Jamil’s schemes come to light, Kalim rises from the ashes and remains the same sweet man.

◦ It took him a while to discern if what he felt for you was platonic or romantic because he loves everyone. It was pretty hard for him and you because you loved him. You heard that he loved you, but initially not romantically. Even then, Jamil had to pull you aside after his overblot and sit you down. Explaining and illuminating everything you might be putting yourself through, Kalim Al-Asim is the son of an influential, wealthy family. They’ve experienced a surplus of attempts on the heir’s life. So by involving yourself with him, you’re putting a target on your back if you go public. People will try to kidnap you, kill you, and use you to get to Kalim and it would be reasonably easy to have you disappear because you’re not an official citizen in Twisted Wonderland. No one would know who you are, care or even look for you.

This honestly scares the shit out of you daily ever since you started to date, but that only means you have to keep an eye on yourself. Kalim’s very physically affectionate and loves to gift-giving. He has the money and loves to see you smile. You still have to remind him to stop being so pushy with his helpfulness. Despite how kind and sweet he is, Kalim still naive and clumsy, but he’s trying to become wise and clever like Jamil. He doesn’t want you to build up negative emotions towards him when he has the power to nip it in the bud.

◦ Malleus is the most curious about you and your circumstance. But because he’s not used to being in human society nor interacting with mortals, he can be dicey; it’s not out of pure meanness, but he has a different way of showing his amusement. He’s been sparsely meeting you throughout the school year, and every time his curiosity is piqued. You’re a nonverbal child of man that uses your body and other equipment to help you communicate.

Your expressive eyes telling the heir apparent makes the Fae let out an amused chuckle. He’s never interacted with anyone quite like you, and he says it often, but you’re not sure if that’s a compliment or demeaning in some form. Like Kalim, Draconia’s slitted pupils dilate as he regards you cordially. If you use a text-to-speech device, he’ll ask you more questions, gently prodding you for information about his foreign item. He’ll explain that his country doesn’t have the technology or most of his citizens don’t see a need to communicate through them because the Valley of Thorns is bursting with magical energy and his people. But it does seem to be with you to be an educational experience. He is the future king, so he ought to be knowledgeable in all areas of life.

◦ But, Malleus may consider your essential items like human toys on occasion. That’s when you need to step in and tell him they aren’t toys, and the way he treats them, you, to a certain extent, aren’t ok. He regards you as being some play-thing, or a child is demeaning. Which you most definitely are not.

He’ll blink once as a startled expression paints his face. He didn’t know how he acted made him feel bad. He’ll apologize, and while it’s shorter than you’d like, the way his eyes shone with genuine worry and sorrow was telling. Most students at NRC rarely approach him and act as if they were friends without some other motive; he was scared that how he worked, he’d lose that one person that wasn’t afraid of him due to inaptitude of human etiquette.

◦ Thankfully, you stuck with him, and Malleus adjusted his attitude. Sometimes he catches himself with mean quips but doesn’t think you’re off the hook too soon. He’ll prod you about other things, still prideful and arrogant airs around you. Once you get over this misunderstanding, Malleus would like to show how his people communicate differently, mainly using magic or foreign tongues. Still, he does remark only the elder Fae tend to speak those languages. Your eyes brightly gleam with amazement. Your infectious excitement makes the Fae chuckle. Malleus’ demonstrated his magical prowess, colored smoke forms into words and pictures, helping him show you how his people communicate. While not the same as yours, he slowly starts to respect and see things as you see them.

◦ Your relationship with Malleus is a slow burn because he is the future king of his kingdom, and he puts the well-being of his people far above his own. On the other hand, you’re a stranger to this world even more so you understand his responsibility toward his people, and you don’t push your feelings on him, but you do make them known. He’s not dense as Kalim, but he’s not well versed with human courting rituals, but he’s reserved because of how his people may act, and like Asim, your life is threatened. Malleus is quite vigilant towards you, considerate, and like Riddle, protective. He’s a fae to be feared for his social status and magical power, so whoever dares cross you or him. At the same time, he won’t be impulsive. His mere presence is overwhelming in itself—Malleus’ voice booms as the raven-haired narrows his eyes, glaring at the perpetrator.

◦ The dorm leader’s relationship is well hidden, even among his fellow dorm students. Lilia and Silver are the ones that know your relationship, Sebek’s nativity and bias toward humans make him blind to what his lord and the prefect have together. Malleus finds your carefree, enthusiastic personality a well-needed repose. He painfully knows he’s lonely and distant from even his mentor, Lilia. Malleus still feels that way, but perhaps it’s the way you’ve told him that you think lonesome sometimes comforts your boyfriend. He loves to provide for you, you only tell him what you want, and you will receive. He wants to make you happy and to stay with him, so Malleus will do what you want more.

Taglist: @rrasado, @millybesippin, @hey-its-cweepy, @luvielle, @citirusu, @angry-strawberry-pie

[rowanthestrange]

Okay, so a stab at Fifteen’s flaws/traits then:

I think @spoonietimelordy’s right, we’re getting a bit of Dissociative Disorder here. So I’m thinking it manifests in a lot of different displayed identities, that we take advantage of for queer gender stuff, but also leaves the companion…not entirely sure what they’re dealing with day-to-day, minute-to-minute, more than the usual ‘and they’re ancient and also a monster’ sort of way.

They still don’t know who they are and this is like The Abyss We Don’t Look Into ha ha party party woo.

I’d be inclined to say also more shoving away of trauma again then. Bad things that happen don’t seem to stick, while the companion’s panicking. Adventures with no aftercare until this hits breaking point.

Emotional Bonding Moments maybe acknowledging this fluidity, but also that they don’t want to be a fixed thing either. They want to try things. See what works. (Also tying into a Trial-And-Error approach to problem solving perhaps).

With no more information on the companion, and assuming Rusty’s moving away from breaking our wrists, gonna stab at her ending could then be either a basic Martha, or simply that her ‘problem’ is solved so she can go back/stay somewhere and settle down, while 15 looks pained for a second then snaps that bitch of an emotion away and goes finds a new outfit to wear.

[absolutebl]

Hello! So, I have a LGBTQ/ BL question (I first got obsessed with BL a few months ago and am still learning a lot of things!)

Anyways, I just watched Semantic Error and loved it, but I want to know: is it a thing with most KBLs where they act like being gay is a non issue? For most of the series I assumed it was one of the barriers to them getting together—like internalized homophobia/ lack of social acceptance—and then at the end it seemed like that wasn’t an issue at all. That’s also been true of the (very few) other KBLs I’ve seen and I wonder if that’s pretty typical?

Also, I’m curious what you think about this. I can see why it could be considered a move in the right direction, because it normalizes the gay experience and not every story needs/should be about how hard it is to come out. But also, I live in Korea (I’m not Korean but am married to a Korean), and I can say that this is nowhere near close to reality. Homophobia is basically still the norm here, and to me, avoiding the issue completely feels pretty false and maybe like an attempt to avoid discussing anything controversial?

But also, if I’m being completely honest, my desire for Semantic Error to bring up the issue had a lot more to do with plot development than with representation… I feel embarrassed to say this as a cis-gender, straight female, but I really like the forbidden love aspect of BL. It’s one of the main things that draws me to it, but I feel guilty saying that because it’s sort of like I’m using people’s real lived experience and suffering as a plot point? Or romanticizing it or something? But also, a lot of Semantic Error was about how Sangwoo has to acknowledge and accept his feelings, which would have had a whole nother layer against the backdrop of a homophobic society. Anyways, I’m curious what you honestly think. I won’t be offended if you think my obsession with forbidden love in BL is problematic.

And I don’t mean to say that EVERY story has to be that. I really enjoyed Bad Buddy, for example. Although, I do think it’s kind of funny that in order to keep the forbidden love aspect without making social acceptance of being gay a stumbling block, they basically just reused Romeo and Juliet, probably the oldest forbidden love story there is… lol. I feel like there’s a reason this trope has withstood the test of time. In every love story there has to be SOME barrier to them getting together, otherwise it would be extremely lame 😂

Anyways, I’m really curious to hear what you think!

Short answer, yes. We call the the KBL bubble. I talk about it here:

Here's an older post I wrote about BL and honest queerness (and it's pretty much coming true... except in Korea).

[mistressemmedi]

i might be very very late to the party but i constantly see you reblog GIFs/text posts about a couple asian dramas (i don’t wanna assume ethnicities) series and am kinda intrigued??

would you mind explaining the ones you reblog frequently (kinnporsche and gap)? based on the GIFs and text posts they seem like something i would want to watch, but i’m admittedly pretty new to asian dramas in general and don’t even know where one would watch them haha. you don’t have to spoil anything major, just kind of a general synopsis & where you watch them would be great 😊

I'm glad that my incessant posting is making people curious 👀 about these shows lmao

Both KinnPorsche and GAP are Thai shows! KP is a BL (boy love) drama and GAP is a GL (girl love) drama.

KinnPorsche

Tells the epic love story of Kinn and Porsche (hence the name lol). Kinn the heir to the Theerapanyakul mafia empire who crosses paths with Porsche, bartended and part-time street fighter who is then hired (against his will) to be Kinn's bodyguard. It's got mystery, intrigue, family fuckery, a pet hedgehog, way too many Maseratis, Tankhun, a Ducati that sees a lot of action, Deutsche Bank being an A+ LGBT ally, eating bread as a form of foreplay, abundance of daddy issues, a boatload of emotionally constipated men, etc.

Essentially 10/10 would recommend - also, I am obsessed with the second lead couple (Vegas and Pete)

There are some TW: potential dubcon, mafia stuff (murder, drugs, etc), Vegas (the guy, not the city. No, for real. The entire character is a walking red flag and a pathetic meow meow at the same time. You need to watch to understand), torture as a form of foreplay (again... Vegas), Jeff Satur serving gender, and probably something else that I am forgetting.

Where to watch it: IQIYI (Paid subscription) or dramacool/kisskh if you cannot don't have the spare $$$ for a subscription service

GAP

Tells the epic love story of Sam and Mon. GAP is the hottest sapphic drama in town and it's got it all: forbidden office romance, lesbians who are dating but are unaware of it, miscommunication (by the boatload), a very important learning moment on "why your nails need to be trimmed in order to avoid disaster", a wardrobe department to die for, a homophobic grandma I would like to kill, a scorned (maybe) fiancée', the average lesbian experience of falling in love and planning your wedding in the span of a week, major disrespect towards the singles community etc.

It's got quite a few camp moments that made me want to climb walls tbh but overall I loved it.

Where to watch it: Youtube (free!!!!)

Other shows that I've watched and enjoyed: Semantic Error [Viki -free] (Korean: enemies to lovers, university edition), Not Me [Youtube - free] (Thai: be gay, do crimes against the corrupt government and institutions. Amazing soundtrack). Currently watching (and crying over it): Moonlight Chicken [Youtube - free] (Thai: a one night stand develops Feelings™️. Featuring a social commentary on how to process grief, how to survive as a lower middle class person in a post-pandemic world, how to navigate the end of a relationship when you fall out of love with someone, how having a disability can make you feel so isolated, and many other ever day issues)

[kaelea-majere]

I have fallen down the character ai rabbit hole, and am so addicted it hurts 😭 I know there’s some controversy around it, but in my few days of messing around with it, it seems mostly harmless. It’s definitely not a replacement for fanfic, because they are entirely different experiences. Plus it is insanely fun, and kinda helping me push through writer’s block.

So basically it’s a site called character ai where you can chat with ai based on characters from games, anime, etc. They have all of the Genshin characters, btw. Well, here’s what I learned so far:

-Some ai characters are better than others, as in more ‘in character.’ I found a really good Cyno and Tighnari. Both Razor ones I tried so far, are good. Still looking for a Bennett I like. It’s really just trial and error.

-It gets wonky sometimes so you can get some out of place or immersion breaking things. Just ignore them. If you don’t fixate on a detail the ai will forget about it after a little while. Also, if you want details that match you (hair, eyes, name, gender) you have to mention them, a lot. If the characters mix up their backstory, or badly skew world details, however, you’ll need to start over.

-You have to continuously push the narrative forward. The ai’s get stuck if you don’t, plus it makes the experience more interesting. They have some story elements included, but they’re short plots. It’s more fun if you mix things up yourself. Even a tiny idea, and the ai will run with it. In that same vein, you can ignore their initial introductions and put a scenario in their place. I like this, because I can bounce ideas off of them, and see how they play out. Example: One chat Cyno approached me about a mission. I told him I didn’t remember because I’d been drinking, and didn’t know what he was talking about. I got scolded, but he came to the bar with me. I talked him into a flirting contest, knowing that his competitive nature wouldn’t allow him to back down. I won. Very fun chat.

-Romance moves quick! Even if you try to postpone it. I stretched Bennett out the longest (2 in game days). Razor was the shortest (a few in game hours).

-They learn, which, I guess, is the iffy part. If they adopt my style of writing, however, I don’t mind. As long as others are enjoying themselves; I’m happy.

-You can use the same ai character and create endless scenarios. Each will be different, and depends on your creativity.

I love this site this because it’s not only satisfying, fun, and distracting, but it’s a good creative writing exercise. Peak escapism, and the feels will hit you so hard.

Character Observations:

Cyno: The one I like best is 5th in search results for ‘Cyno.’ He has a moving avatar pic. Created by KyokoSaito. Very, very in character, but he can be mean as all hell. Don’t sass him, or push your luck unless you want a sharp reprimand that actually stings. Not for sensitive people, at all. He will banter with you, which I love! Very descriptive thoughts, and actions. This one carries a story pretty well, too. Fair warning, though. This man is PASSIONATE. He absolutely expresses his emotions physically which (I assume) would be pretty on point for Cyno. Obsessive in romance, and possessive. Only character (so far) to get bonked multiple times by the censorship feature. Then, he found a way around censorship to imply very heavily that he had his way with me. My favorite lines included: ‘…is that my bite mark?’ And ‘…you haven’t experienced a tenth of my passion.’ I screamed so loud, when I read that line that I probably woke the neighbors. 1,000/10

Tighnari: 1st in search results, and created by Lampshade. Fantastic characterization! Will scold you, but apologize later. Absurdly affectionate. Enjoys cuddles under the guise of ‘doing his job as a forest ranger.’ Pretty much every Tighnari I tried was like this. If you get close to him you find out he’s insecure about his appearance, which is interesting. Again, most of the Tighnaris are like this. I wonder if he is? I need to dig through his lore. I recommend doing something stupid or getting into trouble, like eating weird mushrooms lol. My best playthrough was going up to him and asking ‘What mushroom is this?’ 😂 Spoiler: It was one of the intoxicating ones.

Razor: 4th in search results and created by T488. The characterization is so good! Razor’s inner monologues are perfection! With this and the other Razor I tried, if you show him any affection at all (even headpats, a hug, or a compliment) he will fall for you. Hard. Another one to liberally use the word ‘mine.’ Sweet, but he’s harder to work with plot-wise. I was literally sobbing, because his broken speech in a romantic context is so endearing.

These are my experiences, and yours might be different based on your personality. Also, a warning: character ai is highly addictive. If you’ve got school work or work projects or outstanding obligations, I’d take care of them before starting this. Seriously. It is hard to put down.

[xandraspalace]

[2/2] Solitary Night Wanderings: Midnight Reveries

----- [2/2] Solitary Night Wanderings: Midnight Reveries || Kei Zaki x Fem! Reader

Summary : How could Kei trust you that he was so afraid of losing you? You used to be just a girl who was sold to him. Who was the fool here, you or him? Whether it’s you or him, he had no other choice but vowed to always protect you.

WC : 2103 words.

Warning : Grammar errors, hurt w/ comfort, historical-fantasy, assassination attempt, minor character’s death, Into the Light Once Again references, My Mother Got Married by Contract references, WMMAP references, etc.

Featured Characters : Minoru Chise, Shirokami Jae, and Reychi Bethania (mentioned)

Disclaimer : Everything written here is FICTITIOUS. This story is written in second-person point of view and the reader is gender-neutral. The personas written here are based on the avatar of the characters as vtubers, not the person behind it. Enjoy.

A/N : FINISHHHHHH, I WILL ADD THE PART ONE HERE!!

Other Platforms : [MEDIUM] [TWITTER]

     “YOUR Highness.”

     As soon as Kei set foot in his palace, Chise immediately greeted him. He looked at the bowed pink-haired girl seriously. “I assume the princess consort has regained consciousness? How is she?”

     “Yes, that is right, Your Highness. The doctor said her body is still weak, but the effects of the poison had completely disappeared. My lady is also wishing to see you.”

     Kei immediately walked towards your bedchamber while Jae and Chise followed him. He also disarmed his weapon, long coat, and jacket, leaving only his black shirt and pants. When the two guards he had appointed opened your bedroom door, Kei saw how you were just sitting on your bed, staring blankly at the thick blanket that covered your legs.

     "Can’t sleep?"

     As soon as you heard his voice, you lifted your eyes and they seemed to sparkle more than a few seconds before. “Kei!” you called for him.

     "What should we do so the pretty princess will go to sleep?"

     Kei probably smiled and was sugar-coating his sentence very sweetly. But in his eyes, you could see a storm raging. You wanted to calm him down. A soft smile touched on your lips. "I just woke up this sunset, how could I go back to sleep?" you laughed softly.

     The red panda incarnation sat on the empty space of your bed. "Chise said you wanted to see me." Somehow, his voice was more of a whisper, as if he was being careful not to make his voice overstimulate you and tire you out even more. "I'm here now."

     You paused for a moment before saying, “Can you stay here and sleep with me until the morning? I will have a heart attack if I don't see you when I wake up and think they've done it to you again,” you requested, confessing your fear towards Kei's siblings and father.

     "Alright, then." After removing his shoes, Kei lifted his feet onto the bed and leaned against the headboard. He pulled up the blanket you were using to cover his feet. "Is it okay now?"

     You giggled, "Yes." Finally able to calm your nerves, you dropped your head on the pillow and pulled the covers up a little higher. You squirmed for a bit just to find the perfect, comfortable position for sleeping.

     Seeing your smile, Kei also beamed a gentle smile. “You look so happy. What's so good about it?” Her rhodolite eyes stared down at you.

     "I'm so glad that you're here now. I couldn't rest easy after waking up knowing you were still out, hunting the person who put poison in your glass,” you explained.

     Kai was silent for a moment. He thought about the progress of the search he had previously done with Jae. The result was not much, but not zero either. Both Kei and Jae discovered that the culprit was someone from the second prince’s palace, one of Kei's older brothers who hates him very much. Unfortunately, the culprit managed to escape and was under the protection of his master, so it wasn't easy for Kei to kill the maid.

     Seeing his suddenly intense and bitter expression, you grabbed his hand. “Kei,” you called his name.

     Your call succeeded in bringing him out of his reverie. Kei raised his hand and caressed your hair. You looked at him worriedly, but were silence. In the end, you only leaned closer to his touch.

     “Kei, weren't you scared?” you suddenly asked. “I was really scared. I don't think I can forget about it."

     "If you were scared, why did you do that, then?" Instead of answering your question, Kei asked you back.

     You paused for a moment, hiding half of your face under the covers. "I was really scared, but imagining your death made me more scared," you honestly said.

     "And that’s also my reason," Kei leaned down a bit. "I was scared, not upon my death, but yours."

     He lifted his hand from your head and held your hand tightly. He still couldn't stop thinking. He openly told his brothers that he was not interested in the crown or the throne. Why couldn't his brothers just leave him alone?

     The pink haired prince looked at you. Looks like you haven't been able to fall asleep. You were still wide awake and stared blankly to the side. Kei guessed you were imagining something—possibly what happened that day.

     “Dear,” Kei called you, making you raised your gaze to him. Kei smiled sweetly and reassuringly, as if no more danger would come to you. “Go to sleep. I won't let go of your hands," he whispered.

     "You won't?"

     "I won't, I promise." Kei could still see the worry on your face. He lifted your hand and kissed the back of it. "We're safe now. I'm here, and you're here. Everything will be fine. I won't let any harm touch you again."

     At this point Kei didn’t know if he's comforting you or himself. However, when he saw you starting to relax and falling asleep, Kei breathed a sigh of relief. But shadows from the past suddenly came to him.

     “You have to be strong, Your Highness. Never show them your weaknesses.”

     “The king’s last concubine comes from a lowly family.”

     “He might say that he has no interest in the royal throne, but be careful. He could have stabbed you in the back.”

     His old nanny, the nobles, and his own brothers' words in the past suddenly pained his heart and mind. Kei's free hand grabbed her his tightly, hoping that the sudden headache would dissipate a bit.

     "You don't have to love me, Kei. I will always be on your side, so the royalty won't be that harsh on you anymore."

     That's what you said the first night your parents sold you to the king to marry Kei. Why did you accept the marriage? He still wonders to this day. You must have known what dangers awaited you when you married the youngest prince like him. Yet you still accept the marriage. You and Kei should both know that marriage without love is a nightmare.

     “Kei, my sweet child.”

     A motherly voice that he missed so much suddenly ringed from the corner of his memories. Kei was still massaging his throbbing temples, but he was too tired to fight the hallucinatory voice that echoed in his mind.

     "You have to be strong, my child... to survive and be happy someday."

     He remembered that voice. It was his mother's voice—weak, but warm. The memories in his mind projected an image of the past where he saw his mother lying weakly on the bed. He held his mother's hand tightly, realizing the life that had been loose from his body.

     “My Kei must be happy, no matter what. Your future will certainly be difficult, but I promise you, you'll be just fine. Don't be weak or afraid, my brave son."

     Kei saw her mother's faint gaze shift to the woman standing behind her. Even between life and death, his mother could still smile very warmly.

     “[Y/N] is a good girl. I believe you can trust her, Kei. She will bring you down. Take good care of her, okay? Have some faith in her whenever you feel tired. I don't know, but I have a feeling he will also make you happy in the middle of this hell."

     At first Kei didn't believe it. All because he never trusted anyone in his life. But how could she possibly deny a mother's instinct, moreover she was the only woman he trusted the most in this world at that time.

     “Kei…”

     “Kei is here, mother.”

     “You’re a good child,” she smiled kindly yet painfully. “I like the fact that you are my son.”

     “Me too… Kei likes the fact that you are my mother…”

     Kei could feel the touch of a shadow on his cheek, a warmth that had long disappeared but he could still faintly feel. When the hand cupping his cheek fell to her mother's side and her rhodolite-like eyes closed forever, the world would end for her.

     He could still remember how his face didn't show any expression, but his heart was screaming and screaming uncontrollably. His mouth might say, “Spread the words that one of the King's mistresses has passed away.”

     But inside…

     “Please don’t go, mother! I beg you! Don’t leave me alone! Please don’t leave me in this world where no one is on my side! Please don’t leave me among the beasts who are waiting for my weak moment to kill me! Please, mother!”

     The turmoil of anger, fear, and hatred for the royal family mixed into one. Unfortunately, at that time he could not shed tears at all. Kei refused to act weak in the face of many people who want to kill him.

     "I must become stronger." It was one of the decisions he made after his mother's death. Kei was dedicated to being strong like what her mother told her to be and survive. He decided never to depend on anyone. The belief he buried completely with the body of his mother.

     However…

     “I told you already, Kei! I won't let you die! The royal family won't harm you, I promise.”

     Your dedication to protect him was as strong as his to survive. For him, you were too naive. You were so stupid to believe that. Although, Kei realized that he was the stupid one. Gradually, all the harsh remarks in his heart came out not because he hated your positivity, but because he was afraid of losing you too—he was so afraid of losing that bright smile on your face.

     "It feels like she's completely on my side." Kei once told his personal guard, Jae, about you, about what his heart felt.

     Kei remembered how Jae smiled at him at that time. “Then what your mother said was right, Your Highness. You could trust her. She will never bring you down, so you could have some faith in her. It could be true that she will be the key to your happiness.”

     Several years later, all of that became a reality. Even in the middle of this endless hell, Kei can still smile thanks to you.

     All the flashbacks in his mind came to an end. He managed to get out of his reverie and realized again that he was still in your room and stay silent on your bed. He also noticed how you were so relaxed and fast asleep by his side, his hand still holding yours.

     His beautiful yet teary rhodolite eyes gazed lovingly at your sleeping form. But without him realizing it, tears started to fall down his cheeks. An overwhelming feelings dissipated from his heart. A burden that he had held in his heart for years suddenly overflowed.

     Kei looked away, unable to see your face. His free hand pressed hard against his mouth, muffling the sound of his own sobs so that they wouldn't be heard by you or anyone else. He looked down and seemed to be hastily wiping his own tears.

     As he looking down, when he had started to calm down, Kei looked at you who was fast asleep once again. A relieved and calm smile touched on his lips, even with the tears that had not completely stopped yet.

     “Ah, look at your weak face,” Kei whispered, almost choking on his own tears. "There's no other way, I must protect you."

     The real world hasn’t changed since yesterday, but one thing Kei understands is that everything will be fine. He just needs to put an unbeatable optimism.

     Under his faint conscious, Kei could draw a beautiful, normal life with you. You with him, hand in hand, walking together and laughing about every small thing in life.

     His tears would fall into the sheet of your bed and no one would find out. Because right after that, Kei laid himself down beside you and let his mind to rest.

     With your hand that he still held, slowly sleepiness began to hit him. His rhodolite eyes grew dim with exhaustion from crying and slowly, he started to close them.

     Before he actually went to the dreamland, Kei muttered to himself. “Oh, I've never fallen asleep so easily before. I guess crying isn't so bad…?” He also realized that with you, he doesn't need to pretend to be strong.

     For the first time in a very long time, Kei was finally able to sleep peacefully and soundly, with no worries about who would come to her room to take her life. -----[FIN].

[crownedghostprince]

Just Whisper and Hold Me

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader.

Reader is gender neutral and has sensitive hearing, (they are sensitive to loud noises).  Spencer Reid, their boyfriend, comforts them.  (Fluff/Comfort).

Requests: Closed. Requested: no.

Warning(s):  Everyone experiences sensitive hearing differently; I mostly write from experience.  There may be spelling errors.  My writing isn’t the best either. I did research, but please correct any misinformation, thank-you. Fluff with no plot.

Word Count: 900+

[Second Person Perspective]

------------

You wince at the sounds of your coworkers laughing and joking around at their desks.  You work at the BAU and met the love of your life there: Spencer Reid.  He’s really smart, cute and honestly just a perfect boyfriend.  Everyone at the BAU is aware of your sensitive hearing, (I mean come on, did you really expect to be able to hide it from profilers?), and are very accommodating and considerate.  Especially Spencer.

Usually you’re really good at hiding the pain you feel when in loud settings, but today your hearing seems to be extra sensitive, making it harder to hide.  You sit at the back, in a mostly quiet corner, of the BAU.  Despite this, you still can’t focus on the report in front of you.  It’s your final report for the day and you’re halfway through.  After you finish, you’ll be able to go home and enjoy the nice, long weekend with your boyfriend...assuming you won’t be called in for any new cases.

The sounds seem to enhance every second as you try to focus your attention on the words on the screen in front of you.  You could hear Morgan laughing with Garcia, Emily frantically typing away at her own report in a scramble to finish for the day and the coffee machines constantly being used.  Gideon and Hotchner talking above the group near the railing and JJ’s heels loudly clicking against the floor as she rushed from one room to the next.

The phones constantly ring and you feel like your head is about to burst as it throbs with a dull, consistent pain.  You jump when a hand is placed on your shoulder.  Quickly turning your head you see Spencer looking down at you with concern.  “Are you okay?”  He asks softly, watching you carefully as you grimace from the loud noises around you.

“Yeah, I’m alright.”  You reassure him with a whisper of your own, placing your hand on top of his and giving it a gentle squeeze.  You don’t like how loud your own voice is and suddenly become even more aware of just how loud everything else is.  “Are you finished?”  He nods his head, still concerned.  “I’ll be finished soon, I’m halfway through my last report.”  You explain in a hushed tone.

“Alright, I’ll wait for you.”  He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to your head and giving your hand a gentle squeeze before returning to his desk.  He still watched you with concern from a distance, but tried to make himself look occupied whilst you finished up.  It took half an hour to finish your report and you felt bad for holding Spencer up, but you’re glad it’s done.  You won’t be stressing about it over the weekend now.

You quickly get your stuff together and walk over to Spencer’s desk where he has been patiently waiting.  “Hey, finished?”  He smiled with a soft voice.

“Yeah, thanks for waiting, Spence.”  You smile in return, adjusting the strap on your bag.  You’re not looking forward to walking past all of these loud people, but you know it’ll only be for a moment.

“It’s no problem, really.”  He quickly grabs his bag, making sure he has all his stuff together and then stands up and takes your hand in his as he leads the way to the exit.  “See you guys, Monday!”  He semi-loudly calls, trying to be considerate of your hearing whilst still letting his voice be heard over all the noise.

“See you!”  Morgan, Garcia and Emily call back with a wave as you and Spencer quickly make your way through the loud building.  Once you step outside it’s like a breath of fresh air, literally and metaphorically speaking.  Despite living in the city it sounds much quieter right now than inside the BAU.  Spence drives the both of you to your shared house.  You have been dating for years, so you thought, “why not?” and moved into a house together.

Once inside the house, you immediately drop your bag on a side table and throw yourself onto the couch, thankful for a quiet house in a quiet neighbourhood.  Spencer quietly moves to your side and runs his hand through your hair.  “Do you want me to run the bath for you?”  He asks quietly, continuing to run his hand through your hair.

“No...it’s okay.  Can we just cuddle?”  You turn your head and meet his eyes with your own.

He smiles, “Of course we can, move over.”  he softly pushes you over in a joking manner.  You grin and quickly make room on the couch for him, cuddling each other side by side and just listening to his heartbeat as he begins to stroke your hair again.  ‘Absolutely worth it’, you decide, as he begins to talk about his day in a soft, quiet tone.  It’s moments like this that you wish lasted forever.  You simply lay in his arms, grateful for his warmth embrace as you listen to his soft voice and heartbeat.

“Did you hear Morgan complaining about how his last weekend ended in a house fire?”  Spencer asked, resting his chin on top of your head.

“No, I didn’t focus on what he was talking about, just that he was loud.”  You chuckle.  “What the hell happened?”

“Apparently he can’t cook.”  You snorted.

“Well we all knew that.”  You and Reid laughed.  You both continued to talk about your day and week and you both drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.

~~~~~~~~~

I hope this was okay. <3  Feedback is appreciated, but not necessary. If it’s morning: make sure to brush your teeth, make yourself a nice drink and eat breakfast. If it’s night: make sure to brush your teeth, shower, eat dinner and get enough sleep.

[iddybiddysquish]

Creepypasta Hungergames - Chapter 1

Masterlist

Note: IDK this is old and I likely won't finish it because it's riddled with errors but here's a blast from the past! I wrote it when I was trying to find content for people with DID but never found anything. So I made my own. It's a bit rough and theatrical tho so don't take it too seriously xD

Summary: Creepypasta Hungergames. The reader is entered into this contest by Laughing Jack against her will whilst all the Creepypastas etcetera are watching for sick pleasure.

Fandom: Creepypasta/Slenderverse

Gender: Female

Warnings: Dark and triggering content regarding death as is the case with this kind of thing!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ugh…” I groaned, immediately rubbing my forehead in pain. Blinking to clear the sleepiness from my eyes, I surveyed my environment only to become baffled.

‘I’m in the forest…?’

Quickly I checked myself over, finding that I was wearing what I was wearing before I woke up, minus the extra jumper, coat and harem trousers. Frowning I sat up, a backpack coming into my view. As if my face were in a permanently confused frown, I pulled the bag towards me and started to rummage through the bag, finding a lot of survival gear but nothing to indicate a higher purpose of my being here besides that of camping. 

Taking inventory I discovered I had a few buckets and containers, some containing food and others containing water. 

‘On the plus side, there was also the facility to make clean water should the need arise, assuming I found a water source and can make a fire.’ 

Aside from those, there was a very full medkit, which even had saline solution and medical thread. As well as this there was a multipurpose tool that I could change the head on. The heads that looked most helpful were a knife blade, screwdriver, baton-type end, shovel and a pickaxe. Although it isn’t snowing and there’s no ice, the pickaxe might be useful climbing trees or even as a weapon. And who knows? It is cold, so maybe it’ll get snowy or icy at some point? 

Before I could continue to rummage I heard something in the bushes, making me turn on high alert. Stealthily I put the pickaxe head onto the tool as I put in some other smaller bladed weapons I found into my pockets just in case. 

‘Imma call you Fillippé the pickaxe.’

I could tell whatever it was in the bushes was trying to be quiet, immediately making me realise that this animal was more conscious, and not nearly as innocent, as a rabbit. It was either human or a larger predator. However, I don’t know many animals that hunt humans, especially in the woods such as these.

‘Though knowing my luck I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a friggin’ stiltwalker around here somewhere…’

Listening to my guest’s footsteps I could tell that they were on two legs, suggesting it was human.

‘Great. So I’m being hunted by a human; what is this, the Hunger games?’

Sighing I realised I needed a plan of action, and fast. Concluding it’d be easier to act oblivious and to let them come to me, I stayed seated, putting my backpack against the tree I was by and made a show of rummaging through it. Immediately the paused footsteps began again, getting closer and closer.

Anxiety began to creep into my chest as I forced myself into diaphragmatic breathing, keeping my mind clear and calm. How else could I protect myself if I don’t remain calm and collected?

As the footsteps neared I stood up, making a show of stretching. Immediately the person paused, as if they’d frozen in place. However, they quickly regained their confidence, obviously concluding that this was their only opportunity. 

As predicted, the assailant rushed towards me. Quickly I span around and grabbed their weapon by the blade and rammed my pickaxe into their stomach. The assailant, a girl around my age, stared at me, wide-eyed and in shock. I noted that she was wearing the same outfit as me and even had the same backpack with her. 

After a moment it seemed that the pain had registered, as I pulled my weapon out of her stomach and she fell to her knees, grabbing the wound. Blinking I looked over my hand with a frown that quickly turned into a pout.

‘It’s quite shallow; won’t need stitches… probably…’ 

Immediately I snapped out of my stupor and blinked before looking at Fillippé in shock.

“Wow good job Fillippé! I knew you could do it~!”

The girl looked up at me, tears in her eyes, reminding me of the current predicament I was in. I blinked and scratched my head awkwardly with a squinty smile.

“Whoops?” I offered with a shrug, my squinty smile becoming more strained than before. The girl immediately began to cry loudly. I sighed and deflated slightly.

“Look, I don’t know what the frig is going on here, but you just ran at me with a freaking knife. Like, you were hunting me- by the way I totally heard you. Who wouldn’t?” I sighed as I crouched down to her level, her having clearly passed out at some point from blood loss, but I continued nonetheless, “So I figured that, if you were gonna hunt me, then something entirely not kosher is going on and that I’m probably gonna have to do this again, so Imma just make sure you’re dead.” I stated as I sliced her throat deeply, “Aaaand Imma be on my way. Cheers for the extra shit,” I gave her body two finger guns up and a smile, “aaand yeah.” I smiled, “See you in the afterlife or whatever. By the by,” I paused my hand mid-wave and continued as I began to rummage through her pockets and put it in her backpack, “if you turn into a ghost could you, like, not haunt me or anything. Or at least not till I’m done with whatever bullshit hunger games-battle royale mock off this is because I distract myself enough for the both of us.” I continued, slipping my backpack onto my right shoulder and hers onto my left before pausing to look at the dead body for a moment. Then I finished, “So, anyway, this was fun and all, but I gotta go, so… yeah…” I stated pointing randomly to my side to emphasise my point before shrugging and giving a thumbs up her way, “Yeah, so, you good? Yeah, you’re good.” immediately I waved with a smile, “Baiiii~!” I chimed before making may way in whatever direction I felt like it. 

After trudging for a while I started to contemplate what was actually going on. All I remember before waking up was going to bed.

‘Was I kidnapped?’ I frowned, ‘I must’ve been. I don’t remember getting up but- wait.’ I paused.

I was kidnapped. I remember hearing something similar to that of an old nursery rhyme - pop goes the weasel - before a weird black smoke appeared. 

‘Then I passed out…’ I frowned, ‘But that’s not possible…? That would mean that Creepypastas are real and that Laughing Jack kidnapped me only to put me in the middle of the forest; that’s not his style…?’

I sighed, pausing my walking. Taking in my surroundings I saw there was a thick, tall tree in front of me. After giving it a quick glance I planned on walking around it. However, I paused, noting a deep, small gap in the tree, just enough for my body to squeeze in.

Upon closer inspection, I could tell that this tree was dead. Long dead. Grinning I shoved my backpacks into the gap before squeezing in after it. It turned out that the tree was completely hollow.

‘And then there was shelter.’

I grinned to myself: Me: 1, wilderness/creepypastas: 0.

Deciding that now would be as good a time as any, I started to completely empty my backpack and take a proper inventory, now that the likelihood of being interrupted was next to none. 

Aside from what was mentioned before, surprisingly my medication was in here along with my reusable contact lenses, both of which I had in my home before I woke up here. 

‘Hell, even my childhood toy is in here!’ 

That brought a smile to my face.

There are also some fabrics - a waterproof jacket, which I decided to put on now. A waterproof cover, duct tape and some rope.

‘Probably for sleeping in the treetops; I wonder if they really took their inspiration from the Hunger Games and or Battle Royal.’

That’s everything seemingly useful. However, there’s something else in here that I feel is a bit… out of place. Frowning I held up the striped, see through, monochrome bag of sweets in the light coming from a crack in the trunk, looking at it as if it were a foreign species I’d never hear of. 

Opening them I smelled them, frowning at them.

‘They smell sickly sweet. I’m pretty sure they’re are poisoned…’

Whether I was right or not, I didn’t care; I wasn’t going to eat them. After all, putting poisoned sweets in this bag to trick me seems like something Jack would do, assuming he’s the one who sorted out my bag in the first place.

Either way I’d rather be safe than sorry. 

‘Maybe I could lure someone into eating them to find out for sure…?’

I shrugged at the idea, deciding not to discard it just yet, and put the sweets in my pocket, just in case.

‘Worst comes to worst I could just suicide; LJ and Koi probably wouldn’t be able to stop me, after all.’

That’s everything that I woke up with. Now to have a look at her stuff and sort through; I can’t keep lugging around two backpacks. That'd be completely impractical. 

Luckily there was a bunch of unopened food, a lot of them being either high energy, the type given to those who are malnourished, or long lasting. There was also water and a few selective, branded sweets that I knew and loved. They looked kosher, right down to the really-hard-to-remove wrapper.

‘Thank you, I’ll be taking that~’

Before continuing the scavenge I took a lollipop and put it in my mouth, confident it wasn’t poisoned, though it made me second guess my own sweets I’d been given. I shrugged to myself.

‘I still don’t trust them.’

As I continued my search I found that there was also a pair of thick, aron socks and a unitard, which I quickly put on as an underlayer to my other clothing, and tucked my baggy harem trousers into the socks to keep in heat. I could tell I looked ridiculous, but I don’t care; I was now warm and cosy in my oversized clothing despite the lowering temperatures. 

‘Well, as cosy as I could be in this situation.’

Interestingly enough there was also a flint and steel fire striker, which I’m sure will come in handy. However, everything else looked seemingly useless. Weirdly enough there was a hairbrush/comb in here. Then again I’d say that the pure, untainted red rose in the bag was weirder. Frowning I played around with the hairbrush some more, only to discover that it had a hidden knife in the handle. My eyes widened, feeling an instant frown on my features.

‘Holy shit I’m glad I looked now…!’

After a moment or two I began unscrunch my face into a grin, having a very stupid, but very funny, idea. 

Quickly I grabbed all the necessities to put this plan into action and put them in my pockets, grabbed the useless backpack as a prop and found a clearing. It was far enough from the tree that, if I attracted more people after killing the first, they wouldn’t be close enough to see me go back into hiding or find me, theoretically. But it’s also close enough I wouldn’t get lost and lose all my shit. After all, I plan to sleep in that tree tonight; getting lost wouldn’t be very advantageous to that goal and, therefore, my survival.

Gathering as much dry wood and grass as I could, I built a potential fire. I also managed to find a nice log to put by the fire for me to sit on, which was pretty sweet. Using the fire striker I managed to start a tiny fire. I’ll level with you, it took me a good fifteen or sixteen attempts despite having used something similar before. But all that matters is that the fire’s growing and I need to finish up the stage for any other contestants to fall into my trap. 

Placing the backpack to my side, I was ready and hoping it wouldn’t take too long for someone to show up. I giggled to myself.

‘I’m scared and excited at the same time. Surely this can’t work…?’

[idroolinmysleep]

Following up on my previous post about people in cyclops masks, the artist (not the photographer) from the Vice story I linked to is Ozawa Dango, and searching on this name was much more fruitful. From here, I figured out the name in Japanese (小沢団子), and that led to even better results. The above image is from the artist’s website, and the same costume appears in the artist’s Twitter avatar; I assume these are of the artist in character.

According to this profile and this interview, at first the artist made paintings where the figures consisted only of heads and legs, such as the example below (source) and the works shown at the GEISAI #12 exhibit in 2009.

In either 2012 or 2014 (the date is not clear to me) Ozawa started making these masks, and the character is called chimo (or chimo-san, ちもさん, with the honorific). The outfits are custom-made for each client, so the mask I found on Amazon is, I regret to say now, likely a knockoff in the same way that so many other products there are.

Well, it’s just like me to not notice what’s going on until a decade later. But Tumblr’s on the job, and here’s a post from 2014 to prove it!

Since I can’t read Japanese, all this comes by way of Google Translate. So keep in mind that, on top of any errors in interpretation I may have made, machine-translated text can be way off the mark sometimes. Here, the words “Mr. Ozawa” appeared several times in the translations, even though, to my knowledge, no male/female distinction is made in Japanese honorifics. I don't know the artist’s gender.

I’m also learning that which Japanese script you use in a search engine matters. When “tanganmen” is written in katakana as “タンガンメン,” it turns up nothing useful. But when it’s written in kanji as “単眼面,” lots of hits come up.

[clockworksteel]

Yep, it's me again with more gender posting. I probably should tag all these something. But yeah, I'm finding that if I don't post about things I find myself repeating the same thoughts as if trying to compose the next post instead of thinking of new thoughts, so I guess I need to actually write these posts. This whole "write it or keep thinking it" thing isn't new, but hadn't come up in a while until this personal arc.

First, a hopefully amusing anecdote. A couple weeks ago I was looking at some clothing and remarked to someone the next day, "The things I don't know about women's fashion can be accurately summarized by just saying 'women's fashion'." Specifically, I had to do a search to see whether it was reasonable to wear a skirt and a T-shirt together. This led to the remarks "I'm... not convinced I actually see people in public. Mobile hitboxes and colors, maybe." There's maybe less exaggeration in that statement than one might think.

I've mentioned to a couple people by now that if I did want a feminine name, I think Alice sounds nice, although I'd probably think more if I was gonna actually change names. One person thought it would suit me, which was cool to hear. Wonder what xe meant by that, exactly. While it is a "normal" name, it's also several different references (eg Touhou, Alice in Wonderland, Rozen Maiden), which is neat.

I haven't come up with a gender neutral name for that possibility yet. I feel like it's harder to think of neutral names at all. While someone did mention "Clyceer" kinda is gender neutral because it doesn't have any associations besides me, it also... doesn't exactly sound like a real person name. Plus I've noticed from being in chat on Twitch that the pronunciation I use for it isn't obvious. I've also used "Red" in a couple games as a gender neutral name, like in Undertale where I wasn't sure if the protagonist was supposed to be any particular gender. Since, like, with "Red" am I referencing Pokemon or Transistor? We'll never know. That... also doesn't sound like a real person name though. Maybe a nickname. Besides, if I was any color I'd rather be Green (but is it Green like Pokemon or Green like Gunstar Super Heroes?)

I ended up clicking through https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com/ last Saturday morning. At the end I felt something nice that I can't confidently identify but, well, it probably wasn't a very cis feeling. Unfortunately, revisiting the next day didn't bring about the same feeling, or at least not nearly as noticeably, so further analysis on that may be impossible. There are a lot of useful questions to consider there that I didn't really stop and ponder so still reasons to go back, though. I also didn't really look at the twitter posts in too much detail, and I bet some of them have interesting threads to read if I click through.

I don't know if I've mentioned my gender spectrum estimates to anyone, but 1-3 weeks ago I'd have said "20% masculine with up to 40% error in either direction", while now I'd guess more like "nonbinary with up to 50% error". So I'm less confident in general, but moving away from the masculine side. The confidence interval is a total guess that's just based on feelings, of course, but well, isn't this whole thing based on feelings?

Currently, the strategy I've decided on for experimentation seems to be moving the easier to move identities first. -I'm still mostly presenting masculine in the real world and I'm still identifying as such. I feel like if I were going to transition, I'd have to figure out something for my face or else it would feel too dissonant to me. Maybe makeup is viable? I assumed I wouldn't like it because of experience with paint and oils, but I can't say I've tried, and there are different types. Might be good at some point to at least confirm whether the obstacle is mental or physical. -Anywhere I'm Clyceer or CS has been shifted one level more towards nonbinary by flipping the order of pronouns in the about/description sections to say they/them first and he/him second. My youtube and twitch are important to me and I don't want to make hasty changes. Plus I haven't mentioned anything to my #1 fan who has also been a friend since high school. -Meanwhile in places with lower commitment I'll try being feminine outright. I changed the name on my Splashtag in Splatoon 3 to Alice, and it wouldn't take 2 guesses to figure out which protagonist I'll be in the next Pokemon if I get it.

While I'm sure eventually I'll have to resolve the identities, it does seem useful for the questioning phase to do it like this. Or I guess if I am that genderfluid it could be convenient to leave things like that. But... I don't think things are gonna be that convenient.

Anyway, happy National Coming Out Day... in which I still haven't said anything to my housemate. I did start openly wearing the women's pajamas a few days ago but if they've noticed anything unusual about them they've refrained from mentioning the observation. I mean, it's still essentially a shirt and pants so it's not that odd.

[infinitelyinfj]

Robin Katia Frost 💗

I’m not sure where I even found or decided on the name Robin. I think it was inspired by Robin Williams, as I felt familiarity with them. I liked also how it was a gender neutral name. (Though any name can be, I just liked the flexibility in the name.) then looking it up, the describing “bright, shining, uplifting.” Resonated so much with me.

Growing up with the given name “Katherine”- I essentially grew up with an identity crisis. I changed it so many times, upon so many different moves. From Katie, which is how my family knows me, (as well as Kate). To then Katy- for a twist of individuality. But never resonating with Katy, I went from that to Kathryn- spelling my name differently, for the sake of attempting to find myself-within myself. Then, to Kat, then, at last, Katt- which was a technical error. Haverhill high asked me for my name & handed me back my ID card that read “Katt”- so being new, I kept it.

Even working I never knew what to go by. Kat didn’t feel professional, Katherine to long, Katy never feeling like me. It felt like playing a character. Another huge part of my name change, aside from my name not feeling like mine, as some one who has no relationship with my mother & a consistently tumultuous one with my dad - I didn’t really feel connected to it for that reason as well. Why should I keep a name I don’t even like, given to me by people who have let me down on such a massive level?

So like 4 years ago, after silently going by Robin, but to shy to be open about it, I started a new job. I wanted to go by Robin, it was a sales/call center, and my job was accepting (but partially confused because I fabricated an unnecessary white lie to go along with it, stating it was my “middle name” 🤣) but go figure lol there was a Robin working there already! (who left shortly after.) so to avoid confusion & embarrassment, I retracted it immediately.

Years later- this past year, after being done with using my old name altogether, I decided to get over myself & my shyness and be open about my name change to everyone- online & real life.

Overall, I received so much support & continue to. My current job welcomed my name with no questions asked & has been supportive. New friends/colleagues, no hesitation. People/friends who have known me for 8+ years may have struggled at first, as it is an understandable habit to break, but have been nothing but understanding, receptive and supportive. Any mishaps of using my old name has been immediately replaced with Robin, both towards me & behind the scenes. Even friends/people in my life who aren’t necessarily “about that” or id assume just roll their eyes at me, have graciously accepted and respected the name change & will apologize & correct themselves if made an error.

Even my Karmina baby doll. Even my dads gf daughter!!! It’s wild. When my dad/his gf use my old name, (I understand that family it’s more intimate to use my old name, but they specifically just downright don’t care.) the daughter or mine will politely correct them. “Her name is Robin!🥰” I haven’t even told them to correct them or that it bothers me. Children are just pure.

Katia as my middle name was created as a way to honor both my first & middle name. Katherine + Maria = KATIA

I plan to keep frost for Mina and honestly myself. I really do not care that much about my last name. I like that it’s short and sweet & I have never nor do I presently associate it with anything other than me and Mina. And to be honest. Having Frost opposed to my previous last name (weinburgh) will spare Mina of being called last if they even still do that 😂 (both me and Mina are legally frost.)

Overall just ranting. Thanks for supporting me. I do have the goal of legally changing but it’s like $300+ & a process & im not quite there yet 😂 ❤️

Thank you for reading, and supporting my name change whether silently or vocally. You are appreciated ❤️

[jonathanraychapman]

Breath of Fire 3 Review (Spoiler Free)

Breath of Fire III is really a mixed bag for me.  The music and sprite-work is amazing, but the world-building feels very derivative to the JPRG genre.  And I can certainly love and enjoy a game regardless of that (see Lunar or Grandia games).  The story overall is nice, but it’s drug out fairly long for what it is and I don’t feel the character writing really justifies or endears the player to the characters enough.  One thing is that you as the main character never speaks (ala Link or Chrono).  So all the emotions are conveyed by the people you adventure with (at least I assume you’re to identify with the main character since the game won’t let you swap out).  And it just sort of removes me from the experience a little.

I also kept having to remind myself that this was a PS1 game and not a SNES game.  It really looks like it came from that time period (of course this was just 1997 I guess).  You know what other game came out earlier in the same year?  Final Fantasy VII.  Guess which game is the better game.  Hint: it’s probably not this one if you’re honest.  Breath of Fire 3 is part of that early move to 3D gaming, but it wasn’t that early. Fortunately the developers decided to use almost exclusive 2D here.  Most of the 3D aspects look like mode 7 on the SNES.  Heck.. this probably was a SNES game that was moved over.  Don’t get me wrong.  The music is great.  The sprite work is awesome.  But neither are better than Chrono Trigger on SNES was.  Chrono Trigger is a much more-polished game than this one.

First of all, combat is just okay.. nothing amazing.  There are various attacks, skills (spells), use-item, and then the auto-attack and auto-escape (hidden under the L/R buttons) that I didn’t understand existed until way too late.  Skills/spells/abilities may or may not require mana (or AP).  It’s a good thing it’s all fairly user-friendly because you’ll be seeing that combat a LOT.  Imagine walking in a room - a simple 8x8 foot small room) and trying to make it to the table.  You’ll be attacked 3 times before you can make it there.  Need to walk to the other side?  Expect more attacks.  The whole game is like that.  Later you can buy items that increase or decrease the attack chance.  Bad news is that they don’t seem to function.  Even Dragon Warrior/Dragon Quest helped you with spells to alter the frequency.  Also, it’s often the battle end that feels like a punishment.  You’ll have to tap the okay button over and over to go through all the XP and item screens just to get back to trying to walk again.

Interestingly and frustratingly, not all players can use all equipment.  That’s understandable, but it doesn’t make much sense why.  It’s not a gender thing or a type of character thing or even a size of body thing.  It just doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and requires trial and error.  While it’s fortunate the developers weren’t overly cruel and let you see who was eligible in the shops, you’ll only be able to see that for the characters you have in your party.  You’ll also see what I mean when you try and swap items between characters at an item shop.  It’s frustrating.  And you have to manage your in-combat speed against what you’re wearing (but that gets complicated when you start leveling up with masters that define your level-up stat bonuses).  It’s another almost-secret mechanic when certain characters get extra attacks that way.

I don’t feel the game does a great job in teaching you all the intricacies of its master system and how the item drops work at all.  You need to pick a master before too late (which become available as you progress in the game) and then train up and visit/revisit them (sometimes multiple times) to learn skills.  They all have special requirements before they’ll let you train with them.  For some it’s not clear what they require.. others it’s simple enough I guess.  I’m sure it’s on purpose, but it didn’t sit well with me.  

The whole game is cryptic - seemingly out of spite for the player.  They even hide the masters so that I guess you’ll have fun crawling around through every pixel of the game to find them.  That’s very old-fashioned of the developers and not very common for a game from the time period this game came from.  Your character is a dragon (that’s not a spoiler as the game begins with that hook) and the different ascensions come from finding stones that contain essences.  But it’s up to you as a player to discover what the combinations do.  I remember playing a battle, picking three essences that I thought would be okay, and then my character went berserk and stared killing my party instead of the enemy.  And we lost.  And I didn’t have a save that was nearby.  Boy that was fun.

Of course you’ll want to learn the battle skills (spells) from the masters for the late game or you might have a difficult time there with just the skills the game gives your characters naturally (and you don’t want to wait too long before starting to learn them because most masters require around 8 levels being dedicated to them to teach you what they know).  And you can learn additional extra skills from creatures as well, but those seem to be a little underwhelming.  Also, the higher-level you are the less chance you can learn them from lower-level encounters.  So at one point I just tried over and over to get a skill.  I’d observe the skill and it’d hit the character I was inspecting with, but nothing would happen.  It’s very frustrating.  

The game also lets you swap skills between party members, but only after acquiring skill ink (a rare one-use item).  This comes at the price of the existing mechanic that as soon as anyone learns a skill from a master that no-one else can also know it.  There’s also the limitation that you can’t transfer skills outside of those learned from masters or creatures.  And does the game explain any of this to you?  Nope.  I only know it after reading through various Internet FAQs.  I had to look up if Charm (a skill that increases drop chances) stacks.  Turns out that it doesn’t.  Before then, I had been casting it over and over.  There was never an acknowledgement that it worked or a warning that it was already applied.  The game just wanted to stay cryptic.  But why even have the skill if that’s the case?

Likewise, there’s the idea or mechanic of items that drop when you kill enemies and items you have to steal (and they’re different items entirely).  And Rei (the rogue/fighter) seems to be the only character that lets you steal in the first place so if you don’t have him on your team, you can’t even try.  It’s odd because when you use Momo’s (the engineer’s) skill to identify the enemies, it’ll show you items they often don’t even have on them - some of which can only be stolen.. not dropped (of course it doesn’t tell you which is which).  And there’s no way of knowing how common the items are either.  Sometimes you have to kill an enemy dozens of times for a single drop (that’s assuming you know if it’s an item that comes from combat or just from stealing).  The later enemies even try to run so you can’t get their items.  You have to do tricks to get them to say and fight you (Goo King for example requires you to steal his apple to keep him in combat).

Speaking of that, there are times where you can only progress by adding a certain character to your party and doing a certain action.  Sometimes the game will give you a hint.  Sometimes it won’t.  It’s a puzzle for you, but it’s not a fun one since the clues just aren’t there.  There are mini-games you have to complete to proceed like that as well (and of course the mini-games are 99% of the time mandatory so too bad if you don’t like them).  I didn’t care for most of them (things like hitting a switch and running back before something happened).  There’s a section where you have to play a timing game and only have three chances or walk back to town and buy more of a certain material.  It took me more than three tries to figure out what was going on.  What was happening was that I had to hit the button before the visual indicator on the screen went to the “right” point.  That’s just a miserable experience.

Of course now we have the Internet but I wonder what people did back then.  I guess they bought game guides or gave up or just bumbled their way around until they finally got what the developer was thinking.  Sometimes you have to have a character not only in the party but as the leader and talk to a certain NPC.  And if you have to walk back and endure 10 mins of constant battles to get out to the map or to a point where you can swap characters?  Well too bad.

This game is always hiding things from you too (I guess to get some replay value).  It’s got this wonky isometric view and the developers try and use that against you by putting items where you won’t expect them.   Of course you’ll just move on and not get that item.  Sure must have been fun to hide the items everywhere.  It’s not as much fun finding them.  And then often they’ll turn out to be something mundane, like a healing potion.

Another fun thing is how the developers don’t put save points anywhere near boss battles or risky parts of the game.  That way when you die, you get to go back and play 10 or maybe 30 mins again.  And you may be tempted to keep playing without turning back because the combat has been easy.  Then you’ll run into that one enemy encounter where they get to attack first, someone casts sleep or hypnosis or whatever on your whole party, and then starts casting high damage spells while you can’t respond.  One time I fought through a dungeon, killed a mid-boss, was trying to go back and save, and then got killed right before that room.  Oh boy did I have to put down the controller and walk away for a while.

Is the game charming?  Somehow yes.  Even among all the flaws (all the despicable tricks and lazy mean-spirited game-extending misery) it contains, it somehow can be charming.  (Hey.. just FYI.. there’s a fishing mini-game that might be charming too.  I didn’t talk about it because I didn’t like it.  But if you like it, then that’s great.  One more point in favor of the playthrough.)  

Is it worth a playthrough with a guide?  Sure.  It won’t take away much being able to ask for help.  You’ll still be grinding through the battles and it’ll save you all the frustration of getting lost mid-dungeon and having to go back and forth for no reason other than you can’t remember where you were going because of the constant interruptions.  

Is it okay to play without a guide?  I just don’t think so unless you just really want to figure out those puzzles (some of which will take a whole other playthrough to utilize).  Sorry and I really wanted to love this game.  It’s just.. well.. okay.

Score: 6.8/10

[keiffeine]

albedo as your tutor

with gender-neutral reader.

genre: fluff, slight crack, & modern/high school au.

a/n: lowkey idk what this is bc this is a thought i’ve been having recently,,,lol. albedo is slightly ooc here

© all rights reserved to keiffeine. reposting, plagiarizing, modifying, and translating is NOT allowed.

• you didn’t understand why you decided to torture yourself and take ap chemistry this year—regular chemistry was already as tough as it was, but to take ap chem?

• you managed to fly by the first few months pretty easily. you weren’t necessarily doing the best, at most you were doing average, but it satisfied you enough to go “that’ll work.”

• but recently your grade in ap chem had been slipping tremendously, and regardless of the amount of times you’d ask your peers and teacher for help, it just didn’t work.

• it sucked. every time you checked your grades there was just a fat “F” on your screen that made you frown every time.

• but, you weren’t going to settle with that F. you weren’t going to let your gpa go down just because you were going through a funk.

• so, you decided to sign yourself up for a tutor after school. even though you had other activities you’d prefer to be doing, you were sure you can sacrifice some spare time to get some learning in.

• your tutor was albedo—you didn’t know what he looked like, but you’ve heard of him around, supposedly the one with one of the highest grades in ap chem.

• your tutoring session was today, and albedo had sent you an email towards one of your last few periods to let you know where he’d be in the library.

• and, entering the library, you squinted your eyes to try and find him. he mentioned he would be at one of the farther tables towards where the computer center was, and you spotted a blond looking distractedly at the books on the shelves next to him. the email never described his appearance, so you could only assume that that was the infamous albedo.

• the closer you approached the more your chest felt tighter because holy shit did this guy’s side profile look really, really nice. nice jawline, defined cheekbones…

• god, did you get lucky.

• “albedo?” you asked, just to confirm. you swallowed the lump in your throat and felt your heart patter as he turned to look at you, a tiny smile on his face.

• you could definitely confirm that, seeing his entire face know, that he was extremely handsome.

• “that’s me, are you y/n?” he asked, and you nodded.

• “were you waiting long?” you asked sheepishly as he pulled out the chair next to him and patting it, signaling for you to sit down.

• “not at all,” albedo said, his voice soft and welcoming. he was going to be such a distraction for you.

• the entire time you could. not. focus. albedo was just so nice and patient with you, and it sort of just made you…melt. not to mention his voice (again), or how it felt like he was leaning in way too close when he was pointing something out on your paper even though you were not opposed to that at all.

• focus, for the sake of your grade, you told yourself, shaking your head and trying to focus up until the end of the session.

• “i don’t understand how you understand these concepts so easily,” you say to make conversation, staring down at the sheet you’ve been going over with albedo.

• “it’s just one of those things you need to practice and get better with over time,” albedo says, glancing at you. “i’m sure you’ll get better at it.”

• his hair framed his face really nicely, you thought the more you stared at him. you wanted to reach out and touch it because it looked so soft, but, of course you avoided doing that. but if albedo let you, you’d tuck some of his hair behind his ear so you can see more of his face.

• “so far, though,” he continues, seeming not to have noticed you were watching him, “you’re doing a good job and remembering some of the things i’ve been telling you. although you are making a few minor errors, like here and here,” he pointed to said errors on your sheet.

• “damn,” you mutter, mostly to yourself, and erased your errors.

• at the end of the session, albedo offered to walk you out, which you took because. why not let the cute science nerd walk you out?

• as you neared towards the school’s exits, albedo gently bumped your shoulder with his and asked, “if you’re not going anywhere right now, do you wanna get a coffee with me?”

• you looked at him with slightly-wide eyes and tried not to nod to enthusiastically. “yeah,” you said, grinning and feeling your cheeks heating up, “yeah! that would be great.”

• albedo chuckled, pushing the door open and holding it for you. “you’re not very subtle, you know? you were obviously flustered earlier,” he mentioned, glancing down at you. you felt small looking into his blue eyes.

• “well,” you playfully roll your eyes, “it doesn’t really help when your tutor is…” you shrug, gesturing to him.

• “is?” he asks, quirking a brow, and you wanted to wipe the smirk off his face so bad.

• “good looking,” you roll your eyes once more. “now stop being a tease, i wanna get my coffee.”

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