#i was going to keep complaining about other issues but i just realized: its a tumblr poll

[sangfielle]

this feels like an offensively bad way to divide these things

[takaraphoenix]

I hate how much heteronormative storytelling links romance and sexuality together, because I just know that that’s why it took me so many years to figure out that I’m ace.

And yes, I’m specifying heternormative storytelling, because that’s the thing we get force-fed in media pretty much from the day we first get put in front of a screen.

Once we move past the fluffy Disney movie stage of life and enter the teenage years, where sexuality becomes a part of the storytelling to varying degrees of explicitness, we hit the real problem zone. *

(* For this particular issue. The forced romantic narrative in every single children’s movie is its own problem zone when we’re talking about aromanticism.)

A thing I complain about quite frequently is the lack of m/f friendships, the way whenever A Guy and A Gal are friends, the heteronormativity kicks in. Unless they’re both in explicit other (stable! not ‘this ship is meant to be broken up for The Main Romance’) romantic relationships, it’s virtually impossible for the straights to just... keep them friends. There have to be some kind of romantic feelings involved. No other possible reason why A Guy might like A Gal or vice versa. The notion of pure, actual friendship goes over these writers’ heads.

Anyway. To the point of the post. Once The Gal and The Guy realize that they aren’t ~just friends~ but really have romantic feelings for each other and once the will they/won’t they stops and they actually will... More often than not do the writers forget to actually include any romance at all.

I mean, genuinely. Their relationship continues the exact same way it was before they got together. But now they have sex. The only discernible difference between “friendship” and “romance” in pretty much every TV show or movie I grew up on was that they now fucked and kissed.

Very often highlighted even more by the fact that they’re portrayed as so fucking horny, they barely got the confession out before immediately stumbling into the bedroom to get it on. Not a single date. Not even a full conversation wasted there. Just going at it like Noah just herded them onto a big ship.

And if you grow up watching these things during your formative years of what constitutes a relationship and they influence you during your “what the fuck’s going on with my own identity” phase, they paint an incredibly conflated image of romance and sex.

Namely, that romance not only doesn’t work without sex, but even more so also a notion that the only real difference between friendship and romance is sexual intercourse.

So, even if the term “asexual” somehow crossed your path at any point prior to the “what the fuck’s going on with my own identity” phase, that gets immediately dismissed as even vaguely being a possibility if you do experience romantic attraction. **

(** And also if you experience aesthetic attraction, seeing as absolutely nobody and nothing really prepared 90s kids for the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction. Kids nowadays have more resources more readily available thanks to the internet and I’m genuinely so glad for them.)

Clearly, I can’t be asexual because I find people pretty and finding people pretty means wanting to have sex with them and having sex is the requirement for romance and I do want romance in my life. So, I guess I’m a “late bloomer”?

So. Yeah. My two cents on how heteronormative storytelling has harmed not just homosexual kids figuring themselves out but also asexual kids, because of the ways in which heterosexual relationships have been and still are being framed in media.

[sharkboywrites]

"You're Just a Boy, You Are No Man, And Nobody You Know Will Understand"

Twst staff finding out stealth ftm reader is trans (platonic)

Reader is a trans man and implied to pass, misgendering, mentions of dysphoria and periods

A/N: Back with a part two to this post after the poll came out mostly positive. I really love the staff taking on a parental role to Yuu/player, its just so sweet.

Dire Crowley

Getting teleported to twisted Wonderland was a very difficult experience, and of first the first person you met, and the one causing most of the problems for you, was Crowley. As the headmage of the school, he had to do something with you and generally take care of you. it was only a matter of time before you had to tell him the truth.

This doesn't mean you avoided the inevitable conversation as much you could. You were able to go a few weeks without running into an issue, that being the dreadful natural process that comes once every month.

While you could run to Sam, there was the small issue of the right clothes to wear, after all boxers won't really cut it in this situation, so unfortunately you had to go to Crowley for the right things to wear.

It was definitely an uncomfortable situation , sitting in Crowley's office, having to explain the situation to him. He was also, clearly, made a bit uncomfortable by the situation, but as headmage of the school, it was his job to provide you with what you needed.

you could already sense that dreaded feeling coming in the back of your throat as you explained. You really didn't want to cry in front of him, it was embarrassing, but there was really nothing you could do to stop it. In all honesty, Crowley doesn't know how to react in this situation, he's not really good with comforting and all that, so he isn't sure what to do once you get up and leave once the conversation, tears threatening to pour from your eyes.

You do find the next day, however, the clothes you requested, although you're decently sure he made a guess on the sizing, and a small chocolate bar. A small note sat with the items, reading "You've been excused of all chores for this week, take the break you need". Truly a bird dad at heart, even when he's not good with the talking part.

Divus Crewel

While Crewel can be seen as, well, cruel, he's taken a liking to you as you've made your way into Night Raven College. Now obviously he hadn't thought much of Crowley, knowing he did the bare minimum keeping you at the school, but he didn't expect this.

Other than your school uniform and the clothes you showed up in, you really didn't have anything else to wear, and he was not having it. Of course once he found out he dragged you to the nearest clothing store. Caught up in his anger and disappointment with Crowley, he didn't see how nervous you actually were about getting new clothes.

It wasn't until you had to make decisions did he pick up on your hesitation. he was a bit pushy with trying to get you to pick out things, but it wasn't until it came to trying thing on he realized just why you were so hesitant about this whole thing. It really all had clicked the moment you had to actually try things on, but he had reassured you that everything was fine and took a different approach.

He started to prioritize clothes that would make you feel comfortable over the ones he thought looked fashionable, although don't doubt for a second fashion won't still be considered.

Once you're all done you've got a new wardrobe and Crewel understands you a lot better. After this there's very clear favoritism once in the classroom now, which Ace will complain about until the day he dies. But that's alright, it's worth it to put with the complaining now that Crewel's you're new dad figure who's willing to do anything to make you feel comfortable with the other boys

Mozus Trein

Out of all the staff at Night Raven College, professor Trein is the most of a dad, quite literally, after all he had three daughters. Because of this, he can pick up on those small things that make you different from the other male students at Night Raven College. While he had his assumptions, he never outright said anything. He decided it was none of his business, and that if you wanted him to know, you would come to him instead.

it was during one of his classes that he noticed you seemed really uncomfortable. Not just uncomfortable physically, but mentally. It looked like you were ready to burst into tears with one wrong move. When class ended, he told you to stay after.

In that moment it felt like everything had gotten so much worse. Had you messed up? Were you in trouble? That's really not something you could handle right now. but to your surprise, he asked if you were alright instead.

You couldn't help when you started to cry a bit at that moment, although you did your best to hold back as much of it as you could. this caught him off guard, he didn't want you to cry. After reassuring you that it was alright, you explained to him what was going on. You told him how you were trans, how you were trying so hard to hide it, and how dysphoria had really been eating away at you ever since you got there.

Fortunately, when raising his own daughters Trein had to comfort them plenty, so he was able to calm you down enough to once again reassure you that everything would be alright. He told you that if you had any issues, to come to him and that he wouldn't tell anyone if you didn't want to. if you wanted the rest of staff to know, he'd help you slowly come out.

After that, he's very attentive to you in class, always making sure you seem alright. He really just wans you to be okay, even if he doesn't know that much about being queer. he starts to see you as one of his kids, and he wants to protect and help you in any way he can.

Ashton Vargas

Out of all the teachers you weren't very exited to learn about your identity, it was Vargas. He's like the average intimidating man that you're not sure if you want him to know you're queer. his reaction would either be super supportive, or he'd be the most transphobic person you'd ever met. teaching gym, it was inevitable that he would eventually find out you were trans.

When it came to locker rooms, it was really a challenge. there was no way you could change with the rest of the guys, they'd figure it out in seconds, and no you can't get out of changing for gym. So you had to go to Vargas to ask if there was somewhere else you would be able to change. Of course, he made you explain. it wasn't in a mean way, but he wants to push every student to being the best version of themselves, and being too scared to change in a locker room was not going to help that, a least according to him.

So, you had to tell him. You explained to him that you were trans and not only were you not comfortable changing with the rest of the boys, it would be unsafe for you if in the room with the wrong person. he's very taken aback by this. he probably isn't the type of teacher to think about students being queer, not in a homophobic way, just not something he generally thought about. So he offered to let you use one of the bathrooms nearby, as long as you didn't tell anybody about it.

This does not mean, however, that he'll suddenly go easy on you. you're still expected to do the same exercises as the rest of the boys. you are a boy and therefore will be pushed just as hard as the rest of them. Sorry, no getting out of that one. Vargas doesn't really see you any differently. You're still one of his students and need to be pushed to your limits, no matter how much you may dislike it. In fact, this makes him even harder on you. he's strict about making sure you don't exercise in a binder and gives you work outs that would make you more physically masculine.

So congratulations, you're given even more work than all the other students, but it's in good intentions from Vargas.

Sam

In the end, it was inevitable that you would also have to go to Sam at some point. I mean those period products aren't gonna buy themselves. Even though it wasn't really an ideal situation, Sam seemed like the person who'd you'd rather come out to than everyone else.

He's a bit odd, but he doesn't seem like the type to be judgmental, although he might bug you a little bit about it, not in a mean way though, the way he does to everybody. He's a bit of a sassy guy and that isn't going to stop for you.

When you first ask if he has anything that could help, he simply laughs. yes, it's an odd request that he wasn't expecting, but of course he has some. In fact, he even has enough for you to pick out a preferred size of whatever it was that you wanted.

he doesn't tell anyone if you don't want him to, although when you show up, with friends or not, he'll make a few sly jokes about it. Not enough to out you, just enough to let you know that he knows, and it doesn't bother him at all.

this took me a lot longer than I thought I would, probably because I kept goofing off and getting on my phone instead of writing. I feel like Sam's part is really short but at this point I'm pretty tired and need a hot chocolate lol. ty for reading and have a nice day <3

[pikahlua]

I've been in the dkbk fandom for 3 years and my husband is an anime only. We just watched the new episode and he was disappointed. He predicted that Star will die and the plot won't really move forward. He's a sci-fi fan and he's seen many a series fall apart after more characters, complexity, and a war are introduced. I've been avoiding spoling the manga for him but since he's lost interest, I spoiled him and confirmed that the manga has been in a holding pattern for 2-3 years with this final arc. I told him what you said about Bk's death and Deku losing his arms as being symbolic but he said those actions being reversed lowers the stakes and it's hard to maintain emotional investment if you know that major plot points will just get reversed. I wanna believe in Hori but I'm waiting for payoff instead of enjoying the story. Is what's happening really good storytelling if this final battle has been dragging on so long and Deku's characterization has come to a halt?

I’m hesitant to answer this. I said I wouldn't answer any asks that were looking to me for reasons to keep liking MHA, and I really don't want to encourage more asks like this--and yes OP, I don't know if you realize it but that's basically what you're asking. You've framed this question around your husband's opinions, but you're couching your own thoughts inside.

If your issue is that you and your husband like different media, then that's a marital issue to resolve; accept that you shouldn't always watch all media together, particularly if doing so isn't fun for both of you. But your husband doesn't like what's going on in MHA, and this is enough to make you doubt whether or not MHA is written well? Despite the fact that many, many people like MHA in its current form? That sounds more to me like you agree with your husband. It certainly doesn't sound like you tried to sell this story arc to him.

I decided I'll answer a question like this this one time because it'll help me summarize my feelings on these topics, though I'm sorry to say the topics I address may not be what you expect.

"We just watched the new episode and he was disappointed. He predicted that Star will die and the plot won't really move forward."

Is this really a surprise? I don't remember anyone being all that into this arc when it first came out. Everyone was saying Star would die, and yet most people did not correctly predict the actual outcome of this fight--that Star's quirk would be eliminated and Tomura would be weakened. Most guessed Tomura would steal Star's quirk and become overpowered.

"He's a sci-fi fan and he's seen many a series fall apart after more characters, complexity, and a war are introduced."

You mention sci-fi but uh, has your husband watched like...any other anime? Ever? At all? MHA is far from the first shounen anime to do this. You can't really make your husband like MHA if his problem is that he came to an anime restaurant and got upset when there was nothing but anime on the menu.

Seriously, MHA is not doing all that much different with its ending than what Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood did, and that's one of the most critically acclaimed shounen anime of all time. If he's predisposed to dislike the stuff anime does, that's not a writing problem. That's a mismatch of anime with his tastes.

It strikes a nerve with me because I grew up loving anime and was bullied for it by people with opinions such as your husband's. Now, the mainstream-ification of anime has drawn those same sorts of people to anime for whatever reason, and all they seem to wanna do is complain about anime being anime. Take sci-fi for example: I typically hate outerspace-themed media and the concepts such media often explore, and you know what I do? Not watch it. I've decided such media is not for me. Honestly, the same is true for a lot of anime too. I am very picky about anime because there are some tropes or themes I'm just sick of.

"I've been avoiding spoling the manga for him but since he's lost interest, I spoiled him and confirmed that the manga has been in a holding pattern for 2-3 years with this final arc."

This is where it sounds like you primed him with your own feelings, because it certainly doesn't sound like you were selling him. I don't even know what this means. "A holding pattern"? Do you mean the arc has just been going on a long time (see: welcome to anime being anime)? Or do you mean not much has happened with Izuku? Because I am getting a bit of a sense that your issue is you're an Izuku fan and his growth has been slow because the arc has had to wrap up all the other characters' arcs first. Because a lot HAS been happening with all the other characters (and we recently got some Izuku progression too).

The only other thing I can think of is an opinion I've had for a long time. I think a lot of anime fans don't realize they're not actually manga people. You watch an anime you like a lot and you wanna get up to speed, so you go to the manga not understanding that the manga is different from the anime. The pacing is different, as is the presentation and focus on details. The manga presents one or two story points per chapter, whereas anime episodes are 2-3 chapters compressed into one sitting. The anime's major selling point is its fast pacing, but this is not a selling point of the manga--of ANY weekly manga. "2-3 years" means very little in the context of a 15-page-a-week-AT-BEST manga.

"I told him what you said about Bk's death and Deku losing his arms as being symbolic"

The symbolism angle is one thing. I've never really understood why people like any media without symbolism--that's what gives a story its flavor, isn't it? If we're talking about tropes and familiar story structures, the artist's approach to familiar items is precisely what makes it unique and interesting to me. I wouldn't become invested enough to care about Katsuki's death if all that mattered to me was the surface-level event.

But are you saying you spoiled the fact that Izuku lost his arms? That's...not that big of a plot point to spoil if you ask me. Certainly not one I'd bring up as one of the greatest hits of this arc. This is another detail that makes me feel like you're particularly focused on Izuku, which is not a bad thing nor is there anything wrong with that, but Izuku doesn't actually feature very much in this anime season all things considered. It's hard to sell anyone on what's currently happening with Izuku in the manga since we just got to his stuff and it's not complete.

Again, this was what happened with Fullmetal Alchemist. The last arc covered the events of one day that ended the final war. The main characters were only occasionally featured and didn't do all that much in the season until the very end, as one would expect. When it was coming out in manga form, the pacing was admittedly very weird because of this storytelling choice, albeit it felt a bit different from MHA since it was a monthly manga and covered more ground per chapter. But when the same arc was adapted to anime, the feeling and pacing were very different, and a lot of iffy elements improved on me as a result.

"he said those actions being reversed lowers the stakes and it's hard to maintain emotional investment if you know that major plot points will just get reversed."

Is your husband someone who watches things only once and then can't rewatch and enjoy them ever again? Does he only watch stories for plot twists and once he knows the twist he stops liking it?

I don't understand this general obsession with consequences and stakes a lot of people have. Sure, they are elements that can contribute to a mood or feeling in a story, but they're far from the make-or-break linchpins so many people make them out to be. The "reversals" are major plot points too. I find much more enjoyment in trying to follow why a writer would do such things and what they're trying to say than wondering how likely some character is to die or how many people will be brutalized.

I'm in the camp that believes spoilers should not make a difference in whether or not I find a series "good" or whether or not I can invest in it. I personally have played video games specifically BECAUSE they were spoiled for me and it sounded like I would like them, and having those major things spoiled for me did not detract from my enjoyment at all. I'm not saying everyone has to be like me, but I do certainly think a story's ability to persist as an impactful and memorable work has very little to do with its stakes and everything to do with how it handles its story and characters. Was Star Wars memorable and beloved because of how many people were at risk of dying in it? Was something taken away from the story when Luke got a robotic replacement for the hand he lost?

Goodness, didn't the MHA fandom predict for years that Dabi was Touya Todoroki? And wasn't everyone just waiting for the reveal to fucking happen already so we could get it over with? And wasn't the entire fandom surprised and enthralled when the Touya reveal did happen precisely because it was handled in such a unique and cool way with Horikoshi's flair? Did predicting that twist really ruin anything for the story?

A good story is a good story.

"I'm waiting for payoff instead of enjoying the story."

I can't know what payoff you're waiting for. I've enjoyed all the events and details along the way, even if there were some expected dips here and there. When I went back and reread the entire arc in one go, the pacing really hit me differently and I got a lot out of it. If you're not enjoying the story, that's not about whether or not the story is employing "good storytelling." I've enjoyed plenty of stories that were told poorly and sloppily because there were other redeeming features that appealed to me. This is about preference. You and your husband have your own personal preferences, and that's okay! But you both have to manage your preferences with respect to each other and to yourselves.

"Is what's happening really good storytelling if this final battle has been dragging on so long and Deku's characterization has come to a halt?"

If you're actually interested in whether or not MHA has "good storytelling," I'd suggest you take a creative writing class or otherwise learn about the way stories are told in different media i.e. novels vs comics vs TV shows vs movies vs video games. But I honestly don't think that's what you mean. I think you're looking for permission to keep liking MHA even if you personally don't like its storytelling or how Izuku's character is currently being handled. I can tell you from experience that yeah, you can. Plenty of people do it all the time. Some people get so frustrated with the stories they like they write fix-it fanfiction. Some people appreciate the way a story is so perfectly written that they cannot build a fandom around it because they can't come up with anything to add. It's going to depend on you and how you want to approach the situation, and while I'm happy to talk about what I like about MHA and which writing choices I think are well made, that's not going to get us very far if you don't like the same things.

I do often find media that I personally think is not written that well, and like I said, sometimes I like it and sometimes I hate it, but if it's a piece of media with a large fanbase like MHA, I have a hard time calling its writing universally "bad." If it speaks to that many people in some way, clearly there's something about it that reaches people effectively, and who am I to judge? I'm certainly no expert in quality of writing. All I have are what I've taken away from my education in literature/writing, my years of experience with many anime that came before MHA, and my thoughts on all the other media I've enjoyed. My experiences will lead to different conclusions than others'. I know I don't like a lot of what's popular with most people, so I certainly can't hold myself out as some paragon of good taste.

It's okay to like or dislike whatever for whatever reason. I don't always stay with the same fandom. I move around when I find new and good things. I sometimes come back to old things I loved and like it anew or find it underwhelming as I currently am. As of right now, I'm actually willing to say something I never was before, which is that MHA might be one of the best-written manga if not the best manga I've ever read. While FMA is top-tier, its themes are a lot safer than MHA's ambitious goals. MHA was always going to be controversial in some ways just because of what it attempts to do, such as telling its story through comic book-themed superheroes. It also says a lot of political things that risk alienating readers. The levels of risk MHA takes are part of what makes it amazing to me and what makes it a worthwhile piece of art to enjoy. I'm so happy it exists, flaws and all. No story will be universally loved, and that's something I accepted a long time ago when I decided I wouldn't let the bullying stop me from liking anime. All I can hope to do is have the courage to love the things I love and the grace to leave alone the things I dislike for others to enjoy.

[linkemon]

Beauty is only skin deep (yandere) Schoenheit Vil x Reader x LeBlanche Neige

Friendly reminder that English is not my first language. You can check my Masterlists both in English and Polish here. Consider supporting me on Ko-fi. You can also check out my commissions if you're interested.

Other oneshots can be found here.

ɴᴇɪɢᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏɴɢᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴠɪʟ. ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ? ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɢɪᴄ ᴡᴇʟʟ, ᴘᴏɪsᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴏᴜsᴇᴡᴀʀᴅᴇɴ ᴏғ ʀᴀᴍsʜᴀᴄᴋʟᴇ ᴅᴏʀᴍɪᴛᴏʀʏ ʜᴏʟᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀɴsᴡᴇʀ.

ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴏʀʏ ɪs ʙᴀsᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ᴠɪʟ ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴇɪɢᴇ's ʟᴏᴏsᴇ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ғᴀɪʀʏ ᴛᴀʟᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ sɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ.

ɴᴏᴛᴇs: ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ɪɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ:

ᴏɴᴇsʜᴏᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴs sᴘᴏɪʟᴇʀs ғᴏʀ ʙᴏᴏᴋ 5.

ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴛᴇxᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴs ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠɪᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ᴅɪsᴛᴏʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴘᴛ ᴏғ ʟᴏᴠᴇ.

ғʀɪᴇɴᴅʟʏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴇɴɢʟɪsʜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs. ɪ ᴛʀʏ ᴍʏ ʙᴇsᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴀɴʏ ᴛɪᴘs ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅ.

— I'm wishing for the one I love to find me... — The singing voice sounded closer and closer.

[Reader] looked around among the green trees, trying to find its source. At first, she was very scared when Grim told her that he had heard something or someone strange in their dormitory. She assumed they were ghosts but when she asked them about it, they denied it. So, complaining about the scared cat, she went to check the situation. There was nothing good to say about their crumbling and overgrown bit of school but it was still their corner. If any of the students came here just like that, she had to talk to them. Crowley wouldn't do anything about it anyway, as long as she knew the lazy headmaster. At worst, she could try to report it to the housewarden responsible for this person.

The girl passed another sad-looking bush. And behind it she saw an intruder. He chose a place near a well that had not been used for a long time. Its newer version was located in the main courtyard of the school, so it was forgotten by everyone. The bricks were covered with moss that tried to keep them in check. The boy rested both elbows on the unstable wall and stared at his reflection in the water below. She had to admit he had a beautiful voice. She had never heard the song but the notes were pure and seemed to permeate her entire being. The feeling with which he sang was truly moving. But that didn't change the fact that his uniform was definitely different from the ones worn at Night Raven College. Instead of black, he wore white.  What was someone out of high school doing here?  A beret with a red ribbon rested askew on his head. Only when she got closer to him did she realize that there were birds sitting on the hat. She took a few more steps and suddenly, out of nowhere, the boy was surrounded by a circle of animals. All the squirrels, mice, hedgehogs and even frogs in the area came out of their hiding places and stared at her accusingly, trying to separate her from the singer.

[Reader] stepped back. The crack of a branch under her shoe startled everyone, including the teenager. He stopped mid-sentence and turned towards her. Unfortunately, he leaned against the well where the bricks were loose. The girl grabbed his hand before he could fall into the dark abyss. The boy swallowed loudly. She could see him slowly realizing what he had just avoided.

— Thank you very much... ummm... what's your name? — Embarrassed, he still held her hand.

— I guess I should ask who you are first. You don't go to our school. I am Housewarden of the Ramshackle Dorm and for obvious reasons no one should venture here.

Was [Reader] lying?  Of course. No one issued any bans on staying in this part of the forest. That didn't mean the stranger would know about it. After the series of overblots and increasingly strange events that had occurred since she arrived at the magical school, she was fed up with trouble. She wanted him to just disappear and let her spend her afternoon doing something else. For example, buying the can of tuna promised to Grim.

— Really? I'm so sorry! — He grabbed both of her hands and closed them in his as a gesture of remorse. — I didn't know you weren't allowed in here! Director Ambrose didn't mention anything but I also admit that I was a little lost and...

If he was lying, he was really good at it. But for some reason it didn't seem like that to her. The brown eyes looked really sincere. There was a sparkle about them that she felt was missing from many NRC students.

— Who is Director Ambrose? — [Reader] asked, releasing her hands from his grip.

— Ah... he's the headmaster of the Royal Sword Academy. It's a twin school to yours. My name is Neige. Neige LeBlanche. — He smiled gently.

If such a school really existed, the girl had never heard of it before. She heard something about the Spelldrive tournament but she had other things on her mind at the time. Not that she'd ever needed it before. She learned many things about the world of Twisted Wonderland this way. By chance. Because to the people around her, many facts were so obvious that they couldn't even think of making her aware of them.

It seemed to her as if the boy was waiting for something. But she didn't know what for. So she decided to take pity on him and offer help.

— Well... I'll walk you to the exit — she said, moving forward.

On the way, Neige told her why he came to her school. It turned out that there was a festival every year that (as always) she had no idea about. He planned to appear as one of the participants, dancing and singing with his friends. The headmaster decided to take him with him to get used to the unknown place. Scratching the back of his neck, he admitted that he had never been very good at reading directions, which had landed him in the wrong place today.

— I think you sing really beautifully — the girl said, seeing the Ramshackle's gate in sight.

She had to admit that when she compared his voice to the singers she knew from home, none of them seemed to compare to him. He had kind of a charm to it.

— Did you hear that at the well?! — The embarrassed boy forced a smile. — It wasn't a big deal... although I'm glad you liked it! — he added quickly.

— You should take up music seriously. Do you play with your bandmates or something? — [Reader] asked.

— So you don't know anything? — His brow furrowed for a moment in surprise.

— About what?

So she had no idea he was a star. This was new to him. Usually everyone who met him knew who they were dealing with sooner or later.

— Neige! My dear, there you are!

[Reader] has never seen this man before. However, she could assume that he was the director of RSA. He was dressed in a long, dark blue robe. Again and again he stroked his snow-white beard and adjusted his glasses. Plus, he showed up with Crowley, which was definitely unusual.

— We have to go — the old man said, shooting a defiant look at the NRC director. — I'll see you at the festival. I wish you good luck! — he said not so sincerely.

— May the best win! — Crowley smiled maliciously.

All the ravens in the area began to squawk.

LeBlanche followed Ambrose but at one point he turned and ran back.

— I didn't ask for your name in the end! — He panted, resting his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.

— [Reader] — the girl replied, casting a questioning glance at her headmaster.

The man shrugged and then walked away, leaving her without a word of explanation. She'll need to learn more from her first-year friends.

— See you at the festival! — With these words, Neige disappeared around the corner.

***

Vil looked at his reflection in the mirror. His face was perfect. As always. It reflected the hours spent perfecting it. Healthy diet, training and sacrifices. Hours devoted to self-improvement. All this to become an actor that the crowds will love. And yet he won again. Neige LeBlanche. He got another role. Schoenheit was to remain a villain forever. He never managed to pass the casting for the main character. Maybe because good was never in his nature. Although in the case of his rival it was almost childish naivety, which honestly irritated him.

— Mira, Mira, who is the most popular actor of them all?

— Your search results are: Neige LeBlanche, Vil Schoenheit...  — The boy threw the phone on the couch. He didn't need to hear any further results.

All for nothing. He overcame so many difficulties to get here and was still in second place. Even after that stupid overblot he survived. The dark, sticky tentacles of too much magic were still stuck deep inside him. Not physically but in the mind. In the end, the doe-eyed boy mattered more to everyone around him. Even for Rook, whom he trusted so much. He didn't manage to survive his Fairest One of All, or poison Neige, or even win that stupid competition.

The only person who was still by his side after all this was [Reader]. Ramshackle Housewarden didn't hesitate to run straight to meet him as his curse lingered in the air. And although it annoyed him at the time that she was on the opposite side, he was aware that she did it for him. She told him about it when it was all over. She was the only one who was really there. Perfectly imperfect girl. So out of character with his image. And yet he fell in love. He fit it somewhere in his busy life, full of fame and fans.

So why did this thought bother him?  Did he really need to check this?  He shook his head. He had nothing to fear. He knew they were made for each other. It wasn't a test or a game. It was proof. Confirmation of how connected they are to each other.

He thought of the Big Seven. The Fairest Queen also used her talents. Astrology, potions and alchemy. All this to become better. Why shouldn't he be like her?  He should use his gift. Its fruit will be a beautiful gift. A certainty that they will keep with [Reader] as a couple forever.

He made some tea. Epel's family sent it. Their apple orchards had been popular since he advertised them on Magicam. He strained the grounds and poured the brew into a cup. Little. White. Pure as snow. With a gold pattern on the edges. Soft. It was easy to destroy if you weren't skilled enough.

He heard footsteps in the corridor and hesitated for a moment over the tray. Maybe doing it today wasn't a good idea after all.

— Sorry for being late. I bumped into someone on the way and stayed to chat. — [Reader] closed the door and sat down on the purple sofa.

— Ah yes? With whom? — Vil placed the sugar cubes on the silver tray.

The sugar, of course, was cane sugar. If they had to poison themselves from time to time, at least he'd do it with a slightly healthier version.

— With Neige — the girl replied after a short moment of silence. — We haven't seen each other since SDC.

The Song & Dance Championship. This unfortunate event was the moment when his life spiraled completely out of control.

His hand didn't shake as he sweetened the tea just the way she liked it. After all, he has been an actor for almost his entire life. Was he angry? NO. Perhaps rather disappointed that she was giving LeBlanche any attention at all.

— What were you talking about? — he asked.

— Mainly about you. He would really like to be your friend, Vil... I don't think he fully understands that you don't like him. Even after everything that happened between you two.

Friend. The word gave him a headache. For some reason this boy had made up his mind thinking that they could be anything more than enemies. Neige was as bright as the sun. Vil was like the moon. What he did best was reflecting its light. And no matter how many modeling sessions he undertook, how many articles he appeared in, how many fans he gained on Magicam, how many premieres he had, he was always the worse one. He hated him. So much so that he was ready to poison him a few months ago. He was glad he was stopped. Such a victory would not be worth little. One day he will overcome him in skill and achieve complete perfection. True beauty.

— I'm not going to be friends with him — Vil said firmly.

— I know. I won't push you to do it. I just wanted to tell you this because we'll probably be seeing more of him.

— Why? — He sat down across from her, setting the tray on the gold-plated table.

— Crowley agreed to a new student exchange program. Some people from RSA will come to us for a few weeks. Grim and I were given quite a thankless task. We are to accommodate them for this time. None of the other housewardens agreed to have them under their roof. I didn't really want to give in but keeping this demon cat costs money. And Neige asked on behalf of Headmaster Ambrose.

Vil touched the magical pen hidden in his pocket and touched the cup with his finger. Maybe it was a good day to do it after all. It wasn't jealousy. It was just confirmation of what he already knew.  Fairest One of All . His unique spell that inflicts a curse under any condition. A dream from which only the kiss of true love can awaken. Wasn't it romantic?

His lover lifted the tea to her lips. She took a sip. The eyelids closed almost immediately. He saw surprise in her eyes. However, this expression was quickly replaced by a calm, sleepy face. He caught the porcelain before it could hit the floor.

He gently stroked her face with his thumb. She looked lovely taking a nap. But he had to wake her up. They didn't have all day.

— You'll still have plenty of time to sleep — he whispered.

With these words, he connected their lips. It was strange not to feel her kiss back like she had every time before. He moved away. He waited a few seconds but nothing changed. His heart started beating faster. He tried again. Still nothing.

He felt his thoughts speeding up. After all, he cast the curse correctly. He thought about every word. So why wasn't anything happening?

Heat rushed through his body as he helplessly tried to shake the sleeping girl. The truth dawned on him like a storm of applause piercing the silence after a performance on stage. His spell never lied. So there was only one explanation. They weren't a perfect couple. That's because Vil wasn't [Reader]'s true love...

***

Neige looked around the dormitory. It was obvious that the Headmaster was sparing his thaumarks when he came to Ramshackle. Old curtains, creaky floors and an unattractive surroundings. But that didn't change the fact that there was order here. Grim had already explained to him how hard work he had done (with a little help from the housewarden, not that he needed it, of course) to get the building up to date. And indeed, despite the old age, there was something cozy in colorful blankets, a plush sofa and an old TV.

It was nice here. At least in his opinion. The RSA students who came with him seemed to disagree. At least not everyone. One third-year tied a scarf around his head and began scrubbing the floor as soon as he arrived, complaining about bacteria. Several others, however, started arguing with the first people they met, saying that it was unfair for them to live in such conditions. He had known about the rivalry between the schools for a long time but he had a feeling that some people really exaggerated.

While Ramshackle itself wasn't that bad, it wasn't how he imagined his stay here would be. He hoped to study and spend time together. For a few quiet moments when he can enjoy his life as a student. He loved his fans and music was a big part of him but sometimes he needed a break. Meanwhile, when he arrived, he found a worried demon cat accompanied by worried ghosts. [Reader] slept for the third day in a row and couldn't wake up. Her worried friends, whom he knew from the festival, came to visit her. According to the headmaster, it wasn't a restorative nap but some kind of illness or curse. He was unable to say. The students from Heartslabyul discussed among themselves that Crowley was not making much effort to change the student's situation.

LeBlanche really liked [Reader]. It felt stupid to admit it but when they met, he wished at the well that he would find true love. He even threw the thaumark into the water. It disappeared into it with a soft splash. It's not entirely that the boy believed that his wish would come true. However, when the girl grabbed his hand, he felt that maybe fate was not just a fantasy he had read about in books. He sincerely hoped that he would get to know her better when he came as an exchange student. Their conversations rarely lasted long because he usually had to go back to school right away. He wanted to change that. However, he came across this unfortunate situation and now the only thing he could think about was how to help the bedridden person. Maybe he should join the protest Ace and Deuce were organizing. Her friends were very worried about her and said that they would not wait for the headmaster to graciously do anything.

Neige entered the room. Her condition still hasn't changed. She was breathing steadily. The sun streamed through the dusty window, illuminating her unnaturally pale face. There were students from Pomefiore in the room. He recognized Rook. The boy smiled warmly at him. After all, he was his first fan, which he found out during the festival. Epel, on the other hand, looked at him quite indifferently. He had to admit that his performance at SDC was truly great. The high voice he used was memorable. Vil, on the other hand, frowned when he saw Neige in the doorway. The boy put it down to being worried about his friend. It must have been really hard for him because he looked furious.

— Hi, everyone — he greeted them quietly, walking up to the bed.

— We were just leaving — Epel announced, pulling the vice housewarden behind him.

The blonde looked genuinely disconsolate that he had to leave. His friend was just the opposite. He must have had enough of sitting.

— How are you feeling, Vil? — the brunette asked, standing right next to him.

— How should I feel if my girlfriend has been lying here for three days? — The tone of his voice was as cold as ice. It pierced menacingly through the silence in the room.

— Girlfriend?

If there was one thing LeBlanche didn't expect, it was this. He had never heard that they were a couple before.

— We didn't flaunt our relationship.

Probably because of his career. In Schoenheit's industry, couples were viewed quite unfavorably. Single people were perceived better by fans. He knew something about it himself. Although in his case he had never had to choose before.

He looked at [Reader]. So he had been getting his hopes up all this time. He hoped that everything would be alright with her and that she and Vil would be happy again soon. And, although he felt a slight twinge somewhere near his heart, he decided to ignore it. His friend was a truly wonderful and hard-working man. No wonder she chose him.

He sat down on an old, worn-out stool, right next to the headboard.

— Ummm... hey, [Reader]. I don't really know what to say in situations like this. It's the first time I've encountered something like this — Neige laughed quietly. — I hope you feel better soon and...

— Don't you have anything else to do? — asked the blonde, giving him an angry look.

Vil was standing in a dark part of the room, away from the window. He crossed his arms over his chest. His high heels hit the old boards again and again.

That was not nice. Despite everything, the boy decided not to worry about his friend's words. He must have been nervous. It's natural in such a situation. He'll definitely get over it soon, so he had to be understanding.

— I'm leaving now — he nodded.

In fact, he didn't have much time to say anything. But he didn't want to upset Vil even more. He grabbed [Reader]'s hand. She was cold to the touch. He hoped she would be warm again soon. When she is healthy, they will talk as before. Even if only for a moment, he will be satisfied. He kissed her knuckles gently.

— Wake up quickly — he whispered.

He turned to leave the room. In his thoughts he prayed for the patient's quick recovery. Suddenly he heard a loud yawn. He couldn't believe his eyes. [Reader] was already awake. She rubbed her eyelids and looked around.

— Vil. — Her voice was quiet, but definitely not friendly. — She stared at her boyfriend, her fingers clenching the sheets.

She stood up, wobbling and Neige immediately ran over to help her stay upright. She was furious. He had never seen her like this before.

Loud laughter echoed throughout the dormitory. It was Vil. It started with a chuckle and then progressed to a mocking laugh.

— Him? — He pointed to the brunette. — Of all people it had to be him?

He pulled out his magical pen. A purple mist began to creep out from under his feet. Fairest One of All  flowed across the floor, trying to fill the room.

— Everything's all right? We heard… — Rook almost got hit by a spell.

Magic flew right above his head.

Vil stared ahead. He was aware of what was happening. He was on the road to the overblot again. Dark goo filled the crystal in his pen. Faster and faster with every second. And yet he had no desire to stop it. What was the point?

They were standing right in front of him. [Reader] in front. How it suited her. She was the first one ready to rush towards danger, despite her lack of magic. It's been like that since she got here. He was impressed by it. She was like a legendary prince in shining armor. Neige stood behind her. With his naive kindness as a shield against everything life threw at him. How idiotic. Like a damsell in distress.

— Vil, let's talk...

Prince and princess. Perfect couple. He was never allowed to play the main character. He was always the villain. So where he stood was his place on the stage. On the opposite side.

— True love's kiss! — He heard himself, as if from a distance, laughing hysterically.

Of all the possible people, it had to be LeBlanche. The man he hated. He had everything he always wanted. And now he even had her. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be consumed by the approaching darkness.

If he couldn't become the hero, he would be the villain...

[bobluvbot]

bonk!

pairing: bradley rooster bradshaw x f!reader

summary: in which fate uses a karaoke machine to lead the way for romance because you and Bradley are just too dumb and dense for it.

wc: 9k+ (sorry)

warnings: best friend!rooster, age difference, reader has a lot of insecurities like with body image (briefly mentioned, like one line only!) and self worth issues. implied sex so 18+ only! kinda beta’d. I *tried* to keep the angst at a minimum (i write angst but i am changing ok) but a LOT of pent up frustration. Still VERY fluffy though <3

A/N: Yeahhhhhhh. This started off as a single fluffy scenario with my beloved Rooster, but it kinda took a life of its own. Nonetheless, hope you enjoy! 

Reader’s call sign is Indigo!

If there was someone to blame for all this mess, it should be Mav. More often than not, it’s always Maverick’s fault.

He brought up the idea first during one of those after hours of the Hard Deck.

If nothing much has been going on back in base, you and Rooster, sometimes the rest of the Dagger squad would stay behind to help him and Penny clean and get everything straight for the next day. You would do it so often that Penny, who was adamant in shooing you guys away claiming that she could handle it, gave up trying and now checks if you’re cleaning thoroughly.

“Pen,” he’d said in passing, leaning against the mop he was using. “You know what’d make this place better?”

“Are you saying it isn’t already?”

Mav stutters, now realizing how his words could’ve sounded differently than he originally intended, much to you and Rooster’s amusement as you listened in to the conversation. “No- I- you know I didn’t mean it like that, honey.”

“I know,” Penny laughs. “I’m kidding. What were you saying, hun?”

“We should bring in a karaoke machine.”

-

In retrospect, it was a good idea. Not everyone who’d drunkenly belt out lyrics to a song could hit the right notes without the background music, the jukebox has not been updated to have all the hit music the younger crowd wants to hear, and not everyone could remember the piano chords of their favorite song. And as much as it would please the public demand, the highly acclaimed Rooster Bradshaw and his Great Balls of Fire could not commit to a nightly residency at the Hard Deck due to his demanding day job of being a fighter pilot. Welcoming the machine seemed like a harmless decision, and placing it outside seemed to complete the often deserted outdoor seating area.

And for a while it did what was expected. It brought in an interesting crowd to the bar. The nights you were there, you had witnessed a group of stressed college kids out back, screaming their lungs out through Evanescence’s discography. Another time, a small group were hunkered down by the machine, seemingly on guard as their drunk friend sobbed through Adele’s Someone Like You and Roxette’s It Must’ve Been Love. You had been tempted to hop on in a session when a group of friends decided to have a 2012 night, from Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift to One Direction and Little Mix. It brought out a lot of emotions from the patrons of the bar and soon enough it became a regular fixture at the Hard Deck, that Penny had to whip out a reservation list just for the outside seating to keep people from fighting over the time limit each group has before the next can have their go. It somehow made the place even more chaotic, especially during weekends, but added more income so no one was complaining.

It became a problem when you and the rest of the Top Gun instructors gave in to the hype and had a go for yourselves. It started out as innocent, drunk fun. You and the instructors around your age were sick of hearing the oldies and their outdated playlists from the jukebox (Don’t let Rooster know about this) as they played pool, so you went outside and dared each other to grab the mic and pick a song that you used to cry to during your first heartbreak with the promise of a crumpled 20$ bill someone dug out from their pocket. From Lips to an Angel to The Reason to Perfect, your friends each gave their all for the sad bill. Determined to stand out, you decide on Taylor’s Teardrops on My Guitar as your magnum opus for the night. It was a perfect fit, and your friends groaned woefully as the nostalgia hits them. In your drunken haze, you wondered for a bit why you’ve avoided listening or singing this song for so long, but as the song continued, you figure out why.

—

It was 2007, the summer before college, and you had just gotten your dream iPod in pink as a gift from your grandparents for getting into Columbia. You already had a list of all the albums and singles you were going to download on the back of your physics notebook, and the first off that list would be Taylor Swift’s albums. It was nice that you were the same age, you could relate to each song if you tried hard enough, but your lack of non-fictional boyfriends and romantic conquests were a huge setback back then. You were halfway through your second listen when your grandmother asks you if you can bring the casserole she just finished making next door, and because you didn’t have the heart to say no after getting your iPod, you agreed and made your way to your neighbor’s house.

They seemed to have someone over, judging by the number of bikes strewn across the lawn and an inconspicuous blue Bronco parked in their driveway that you didn’t recognize. More reasons to drop off and go, you’d thought, so you rang their doorbell while you thought of a good excuse to speed off. No one responded despite the commotion you could barely make out from the inside, so with an exasperated sigh, you reached out to press the bell again.

You remembered freezing, with your outstretched hand retreating back to the handles of the pan as you made contact with the one who answered the door. He didn’t have blue eyes like Drew did from the music video, nor was he called Drew for that matter, but god, you found yourself breathless and in constant awe like Taylor when you realized who it was.

He broke out in a grin, greeting you with that wretched nickname he and his cousins gave you when you were young. Bradley Bradshaw— the boy that taught you how to hang upside down from the monkey bars at the park because your friends (his cousins) thought you were too heavy to do so, the boy you got so attached to every summer when he came to stay next door because he included you whenever the cousins played Pokemon cards or Super Mario on the playstation and would let you off easy and debt free whenever you played monopoly, the boy who shared your love for aviation and would drag you along with their family trips to the flight museums nearby, and it would take years more for you to realize but he was also the same boy you looked for in the sea of faces at school, in hopes to find someone remotely close to who he was, which just left you terribly single— was back, visiting from college. He was still breathtakingly beautiful, and the crazy beating of your heart as he dragged you by the hand inside to see the family should be the telltale sign that you were going to be ruined before you escaped to college.

Catching up after dinner, you learned there was a girl. There was always someone— he was interested in, confessing their feelings, seeing, crying over him. You should’ve gotten used to it at this point. Bradley was a light that everyone was just naturally drawn to. Maybe you could chalk up the blame to the angsty fanfic you’ve read earlier that day or to the sad Taylor Swift songs you decided to dwell on before you brought the casserole, but goddamn it stung. It hurt when it shouldn’t be hurting in the first place. Bradley was one of your childhood friends, the kind big brother you always wanted to have. You’re sure that if he was around more, he would’ve helped you scare away your bullies or have even posed as your date to prom so you wouldn’t feel as left out as you did. It was in between your third or fourth bite of the cherry pie Bradley’s aunt had given you for dessert when you realized you saw him in a different light now, and it didn’t take long for you to see that he didn’t.

Later that night, you found yourself clutching your teal guitar, Love Story’s chords long forgotten, blasting Teardrops on My Guitar on your alarm clock speaker at 10pm, with only the moonlight and your pink wallpaper witnessing your tear-stricken face.

–

“Oh my god, is Indigo crying?”

“She is, fuck. Hurry, we gotta record this!”

Before your friend could point the camera flash on your face, you kick his shin before whipping out your middle finger, turning away from them to hastily wipe the tears that betrayed you on your sweater.

Despite the waterworks, you were determined to finish the last line of the song perfectly, because this is the last time you’ll be singing this for the next thirty or so years.

“Drew looks at me,” you start, and the doors swing open to welcome an amused Rooster and the rest of the gang into your group outside.

Locking eyes with you, you sing, “I fake a smile so he won’t see,” smiling.

Yeah, at least the sting lessened to a quiet twinge now.

—

The oldies have infiltrated the karaoke machine once they saw how much fun you guys had that night. Soon after, they’d come in early and just play one round of pool before Fanboy drags you and Payback outside quickly, reserving the machine before the bar’s crowd comes in. People would think this is unfair because you were allowed in earlier and would have the advantage to hoard the machine all to yourselves, but they didn’t want to risk disrespecting you guys and buying a round for the entire bar so they kept quiet.

It wasn’t long till Rooster had migrated his trademark song from the piano to the karaoke machine, deeming that it was hard to remember the chords when he’s had a few drinks. You’d still have your turn singing throwback songs with the gang, but once Bradley gets a hold of the mic, you might as well head home because it’s either he sings five songs in a row or a five minute song (there’s no in between). It gets especially worse when he’s got alcohol in his system, the mans will hog the mic for himself. You once got into a fight because of it and it only ended when Hangman snatched it from both of your hands and used it for his own song, much to both your chagrin.

—

“No, absolutely not.”

Those were the last words you register before your phone gets snatched from your hands. Mere seconds ago, you were on Amazon, comparing prices of those bluetooth karaoke microphones that had built in speakers and had just added the highest rated one on your cart.

You’ve grown attached to the bar’s karaoke machine and would look forward to it after a long day dealing with your new array of Top Gun students. You found that belting out Fall Out Boy relieves more tension from your back than your regular chiropractic appointments so you’re determined to still have your karaoke session one way or another. But apparently, your best friend had other ideas.

“I’m relaxing, Bradshaw, but I won’t hesitate to kick your nuts if you don’t give back my phone.”

“Let me just—,” he mutters, tapping on your device that seems suspiciously like removing something from your cart.

You immediately spring into action and he raises his arms above your reach in response. Damn him and his height. You resort to climbing up his limbs, and when that didn’t work, you gave a mean pinch his side. This seemed to do the trick as he hissed, folding over in pain, and you take the opportunity to grab your phone back.

God, you were glad you were on your break and none of your superiors or students were around to witness two of their instructors tackle each other outside one of the hangars.

“I can’t believe you’d betray Penny like this, Y/N.”

“What the hell are you on about?” You ask, shooting him a mean glare while wiping his fingerprints off from your screen on your suit.

“You getting your own karaoke mic means you won’t go to the Hard Deck anymore to sing and that’s just incredibly selfish and I can’t allow that.”

“Well,” you start, “I wouldn’t be getting one in the first place if someone here plays fair and doesn’t hog the mic for himself.”

He scoffs. “You talking to yourself?”

You gasp, appalled. “How dare you. That was one time! It’s not my fault All Too Well’s ten minutes!”

“Uh huh,” he gloats. “I’m just gonna pretend we didn’t listen to the album together and I totally didn’t see that there was a five minute version you could’ve sung.”

This prompts a teasing smile from your lips. “Oh, so you were paying attention to the album. I thought you hated it because it was cheesy teen music.” You say, using air quotes while mocking how he had complained when you took out his Temptations cd from the Bronco’s stereo and replaced it with your new Red album the moment you got it from the mail.

“I had little to no choice on the matter, Y/N. You chose the longest car ride to play that album on repeat,” he responds exasperatedly, rolling his eyes.

You smirk at the memory. You both were off that day and you persuaded Bradley to drive from base to downtown Los Angeles for this dumpling restaurant you saw on Yelp that offered an AYCE for their opening day. It wasn’t easy to get him off his couch during his offs (understandable), but you bribed him with the promise of a full gas tank and a car wash. He did sulk for a bit, but you knew he couldn’t resist free things (or you whining for that matter).

“Don’t distract me from the real issue here. Just don’t get that mic, Y/N. Fighting over that karaoke machine at the Hard Deck makes it more fun.” He says a matter-of-factly.

“Fun because no one has the balls to snatch the mic from you.” You grumble, checking your watch and seeing your break time was almost up. “Whatever,” you say in passing while wiping off some sandwich crumbs that stuck to your suit. “I’ll just order it when you’re not around,” you sneer, sticking your tongue out at Rooster as you start to walk back to the main building where your classes are held.

He catches up to you quick, a smirk on his lips. Does this man ever run out of comebacks? “You’re forgetting the fact that that’s my Prime account you’re using.”

You halt, appalled, your eyes following his figure as he ignores you and continues his walk. “I pay for my half, you ass! That’s our account!”

He doesn’t say anything as he looks back at you, only a knowing expression on his face. You know there’s no escape from this. Because when you’d try to order it later, he’ll just cancel it on his end when he gets notified of the purchase. Frustrating. “I hate you.”

He hums in response, and you try to suppress the tingly feeling you’d always get when he does that. “Still up for dinner later?” He asks when you reach his side.

You feel the weight of disappointment and dismay from your ancestors as you mutter a yes to the man before you separate ways. Doesn’t matter how much Bradley Bradshaw riles you up every chance he gets, you’d always say yes to him.

—

“Just let me take you to lunch, please.”

You had tried your best to keep a respectable distance from your superior but it got increasingly hard as Rooster grabbed your arm and situated himself in front of you, his bulky figure blocking your way. Getting caught was one thing, but having all the feelings for this man you’ve kept in a box stowed away in some hidden part of your head unravel because of how close he is to you right now was another issue you’re not ready to face.

In fact, mere days ago, the thought of him hadn’t even crossed your mind. Renewed determination and excitement coursed through your veins as you started your advanced flight training. You worked your ass off to get to this point, and it’s only a matter of time before you get your wings. That alone kept your head above water. You might’ve taken the long route with your engineering degree, but it surely did wonders as you sped through most of your earlier classes in training. Soon enough you’ll be doing what you’ve always dreamed of as a kid. And nothing will stand in your way to fly.

Well, you didn’t account for having Bradley Bradshaw temporarily stand-in as your flight instructor for a week, so that’s oversight on your part.

You had looked around, relieved to see the hallway was deserted, before you hissed, “You’re too close! If anyone sees us, they’re gonna assume the worst and I’ll be dead.”

“Let them.” You glared at him and he took it back immediately. “Okay, fine.” He had said, taking one step away from you. “Lunch, with me,” he repeated again, as if you hadn’t been listening to him ask for the past few minutes. “I’ll let you order anything you want off the menu. On me.”

He knew your affinity for free stuff, and you never wanted to pluck that knowledge off his head than right now. You sighed, resigning. “You’ll leave me alone after?”

“I–,” he’d stuttered, caught off guard. “C’mon, Y/N, don’t do me like this. I haven’t seen you in so long. We gotta catch up.”

“It’s just,” you said quietly, avoiding his gaze. “It’s different now, Bradley. You’re my instructor and I’m one of your students—”

“Only for a week,” he interrupted, and you gave him a scowl. “Sorry, go on.”

Sighing, you continued, “Don’t get me wrong, I wanna go with you. It’s just that people might get the wrong idea when they see us outside and I’m this close to graduating and I don’t want anything to hold me back, you know?”

He noticed your anxious expression and he’d ran a hand through the length of your arm to comfort you. “I understand, you know I do.” Despite the thick material of your flight suit, his touch left a trail of goosebumps on your skin. The effect he had on you is daunting.

He paused to think for a second. “Hey, what about this. Let’s change out of these uniforms and then I’ll wait for you outside base. We’ll blend in perfectly. That sound good?”

A small smile had creeped into your face as you nodded gingerly. God, you missed him so much.

“I got you, don’t worry. Plus I already told some of my colleagues that you’re a family friend so they leave us alone.”

He probably meant that in a sweet, genuine way, but it still stung. You went through so many changes during the years you spent apart. You worked hard on your appearance and became more confident in the way you deliver yourself, something that you weren’t before. You’d never admit it but in some small part of you, you wished Bradley saw you like the girls he’d go crazy over.

You mustered up a tight smile for him. “Okay, See you in a bit.” You say before walking away.

A single thought remains in your mind: Still not good enough.

—

Lunch went surprisingly easy despite of what had happened earlier.

You’ve imagined this moment with Rooster so many times while you were away for college. Like what would your first meeting as adults would be, if you would ever cross paths again.

Would you have a meet-cute like the movies where you bump into each other unexpectedly, or where you’d trip and he’d catch you, literally sweeping you off your feet? And would it be a new beginning for both of you, finally seeing each other after years of being apart?

Would love just come naturally, fate tired from seeing you both struggle to see it?

Even if this isn’t as grandiose as what you’ve dreamed of, you and Bradley munching through breakfast for lunch and early dinner at Denny’s while catching up seemed like how things should be.

Just his mere presence made everything better (for your heart) and worse (also, for your heart) at the same time.

You didn’t tell him that running thousands of miles away from home didn’t do shit because all you’ve ever searched for was him and anything remotely similar to how he’s made you feel, nor how you’d always check next door first to see if that blue Bronco’s parked in the driveway again when you’d come home for breaks. Instead you told him good (boring) things about college, because those were the safest. It didn’t warrant any additional questions, questions that could prod at your already flaking defense and one wrong step could have him see how much you’re pathetically struggling to keep it up.

He in turn, tells you stories from college to his current naval career, and you listen. Or you try to, as you hyperfocus on how he looked; how this clean cut hair made him look more serious, far from the mop of curls he sported throughout high school and college to how his lips still looked plump and pretty, and you get reminded of how much you liked to sneak looks at them whenever he speaks from that one summer.

This is probably the closest you could be with him so you take advantage of it, marking the features you loved from the old Bradley that remained the same from the new ones you’d get to know from afar.

You manage to catch the important things: how attached he’s been to the California sun ever since he got stationed there and how he’ll take you there to visit once you graduate because he’s that sure that you’ll love it as much as he does, how he’s thinking of growing a mustache, and that he didn’t even consider taking up this job but he’s now happy he did.

He made a point that you know how proud he is of you for following your childhood dream like he did. He swore he’ll take care of you, making up for all those years he hadn’t been around.

You’d hate it later that night because you knew better, but after years of just bottling up all the feelings you felt for him, maybe today was the day you could indulge in the affection he gives you.

Even if it’s ill placed. After all, it would just be today.

Until you realized he meant what he said.

It got hard to remain level-headed in the mist, especially when he became the first person you’d want to call just to tell him about both exciting and frustrating things you got to do from training because you knew he’d understand perfectly, or when he had shown up late to your graduation because he drove for an hour to get you a big bouquet of peonies (your favorite), or when he took you to San Diego and introduced you to his friends who all welcomed you with fondness, finally giving you a sense of belonging and community in this stage of your life.

It was arduous to keep up when even after getting assigned to bases across the country, you’d randomly find packages of random food items that you’ve been craving mentioned in passing through facetimes and texts, or when he would have time to visit, you’d suddenly find that broken bedroom doorknob you’ve been ignoring fixed, the change oil light from your car finally turned off, and you’d always get dropped off in front of Target’s entrance while he finds parking in a busy lot.

Punishing to bear in mind when it’s been custom to have each other pick one up after deployment, when he trusts you enough to park his beloved Bronco at your place and even take it out for eventual maintenance checks, and when you’d lean on his chest when it gets too crowded and his arms find its way around you, tucking you in, and at once there’d be comfort in chaos.

This still isn’t what you hoped to be with Bradley; but you were given something greater, far more than that silly little crush you’ve ever daydreamed about, and suddenly, something you’ve been certain of ever since that day you handed him that casserole wasn’t as clear now. Risking all this for a confession of years of love and adoration didn’t seem worth it anymore.

Perhaps, this was okay. This was how things should be.

—

So you didn’t quite understand why you were fuming, and all that filled your head was hurt, hurt, hurt.

The scene unfolded like a usual Saturday night for everyone: Tipsy Rooster throws his hand across your shoulders, making you sway with him to the opening rhythm of Great Balls of Fire (his third song in a row), leaning close to your ear where his mustache tickles your skin and unsheaths a million goosebumps at its wake, to say that he promises, like pretty promises, to let you sing the last verse and chorus with him as a peace offering for hogging the mic yet again. And you believe him.

Not because the few drinks you’ve had impeded your better judgement, but because it wasn’t like Rooster to break promises. Neither a wash of alcohol nor adrenaline could waver that man’s conviction to a promise.

You relent, plopping yourself beside a warm Phoenix, who was busy playing an intense card game with Bob, Fanboy, and some other pilots. Through the windows, you could spot Hangman’s animated head bob along as he charms two women by the pool table while Coyote and Fritz played beside him. It had been a busy week for all of you back at base, so everyone was just out and about, eager to be distracted from the events at work.

You had felt yourself get dizzy after taking two swigs off your nth beer, so you closed your eyes for a bit, leaning your weight on Nat’s back as you listen to your best friend croon his heart out and have his karaoke moment. Music had always calmed Rooster down, and as much as you’d love to have your overdue turn to sing, you’re always willing to wait for him (even if you’ll never admit it out loud).

So when he finished the second chorus and the piano solo kicked in, you had willed yourself to come back to consciousness. It had been a while since you sang this song, and you’ve never shared a duet with Rooster before because both of you would just be too busy fighting for the mic. You might not have the best singing voice when tipsy but you’re singing with your best friend, and it was okay to be embarrassing with him.

But you never hear your name called, and you open your eyes just in time to witness everything. The door leading to the outdoor area opened and out it spat a woman you remember seeing in passing inside when you went to get a refill from Penny. She was beautiful and of course, she had eyes only for Rooster. Considering the recognition in her face as she saw him plus the sure steps he made towards her, you knew they have had history.

You couldn’t hear what they were saying but she was laughing, obviously sending the fuck me gaze in Rooster’s way, and you could tell he was chuckling too by the careen in his shoulders.

The piano solo gave you an insulting background music as you watched tensed up. Knowing this song by heart, you count the seconds and notes while staring at the two of them.

‘Anytime now, Roos will bid her goodbye and he would call me next to him and we would finish this song together,’ you thought, assuring yourself. ‘He promised.’

Except when the solo ended, he pulled her close, put his arm on her shoulders, handed her the mic, and they sang together.

He didn’t even bother looking back at you. It was as if you weren’t there in the first place.

You should really lay off on alcohol. Something about it makes you act childish and irrational.

Because here you were, a grown woman, an Ivy League and Top Gun graduate, trusted to fly big expensive planes through challenging and stressful situations, yet all you wanted to do was to throw things and wail right then and there because you didn’t know how to quiet the pounding in your chest or to silence the reverberating words in your head: hurt, and in a smaller voice, that should’ve been me.

Despite the open around you, it felt like the air was getting punched out from your lungs, and you just had to get out. Standing abruptly, you forgot the drink perched on your lap and it spills, the cold liquid soaking through denim. Wanting to slip away unnoticed was far gone because your clumsiness just managed to attract unwanted attention from Nat and the rest.

A chorus of startled and worried questions erupt at your wake, but they get swept up in the night breeze as you squeeze past them, muttering something sounding like an apology while your feet takes you down the patio steps and into the sand of the beach, your boots sinking on the sand with your laden steps.

It seemed like the faster you run, your feet get heavier and harder to drag off the sand, making your dash to the parking lot achingly slower. The world was mute, the once noisy bar with all its music and chatter, even the relentless crashing of waves to shore were absent. The biting November wind clings to your frame and to the wet trails left on your cheeks. You didn’t even notice you were crying, but you just hope they didn’t spill when you were squeezing past your friends. They didn’t have to see how pathetic you really were behind your collected front.

But here now, by the unlit back wall of the bar where no wandering eyes could see you, maybe you could let some tears flow to keep the dam from overflowing again. You have always prided yourself in being able to keeping your emotions in check. With a job like yours you couldn’t guarantee a day or two where nothing unexpected occurs, no one gets hurt, or no one treats you unfairly, so you had to learn how to let your work be work, and not let it bleed through your personal life. Same as with Bradley. Your longing for him was met in this friendship and had let yourself get used to that. You knew to turn away when he spots someone that sparks his interest in the bar, you learned to tune him out when he raved about this person he met, you had a set of answers to give when he asks you advice on what to wear for a date or what gift to give.

Because your needs were being met. You have a best friend, a confidant, a partner in him. You have made a joke of yourself, your feelings to keep the man you loved close. You could sleep at night before. You were okay before. You could pretend this didn’t happen tomorrow like before, so why doesn’t it work now?

You cry for the wasted years of devoting yourself to someone who wouldn’t even bat an eye for you when occupied with others that haven’t, or wouldn’t even attempt to do things you’ve done for Bradley, to make him happy, to keep that fucking smile on his face, to keep that light in his eyes burning bright.

You cry for all the times you have rejected or ignored people that expressed interest in getting to know you because you were too enamored and convinced that no one could make up for what he was in your life. And you’re not wrong. No one could make you insecure like he does whenever you act or dress like what he says he seeks for in a partner but he’d still look the other way. No one could be as dense as he is. No one could make you cry about a fifteen year old song like he does and make you feel like your teen self isn’t as different as you were now.

You wonder if you could’ve just given the guy who pursued you for a month with clear intentions and a kind heart a chance, a date, a night to prove himself to you, would you still be crying uncontrollably with your hand muffling your sobs, the rough wood patchwork on a dark corner of the bar the only thing keeping you from curling up into a ball as the years of regret catch up to you on a Saturday night?

Almost the entirety of your life devoted should be enough. It was time to quit Bradley Bradshaw.

Only it had to wait until sunrise to start. Because upon reaching the parking lot, you were smacked with a terrible realization: you rode with him to the Hard Deck.

You had sobered up from tears a little bit, but you feel another sob threatening to bubble out of your throat. Why were you so stupid?

You want to kick the Bronco’s wheels out of frustration but the baby didn’t do anything to deserve it (also because you had paid to get the car washed earlier that day). It was just an innocent bystander to your stupidity and unconditional love to its owner, so you drop down and hug your knees tight, shielding your face from the lights of the lot.

Maybe if you could sleep like this, you’d wake up back to this morning and this will all be a simple nightmare. And the exhaustion from the week and your sadness and anger were all too convincing for you to try it out, if it weren’t for the voice calling out your name in worry, the footsteps quickly coming towards you, and the strong arms that wrap around your frame, willing you to speak.

“Y/N, hey,” Bradley says softly, hand rubbing circles on your back. “Let’s get you somewhere warm, m’kay?”

Managing to muster up some strength, you push him away, or at least a sorry attempt to. Your palms were no match against his hard chest, and they just slide down hopelessly to your sides.

Grumbling, you say, “I can do it myself.”

“Okay, careful.” His voice remained soft, devoid of any annoyance or exasperation. This annoys you more. You wanted nothing but to hate this man to the guts but he makes it hard by being like this, like he actually cares.

You refuse to meet his eyes but you know they’re on you, watching as you hoist yourself up using the concrete as leverage. He had his hand outstretched to catch you if you stumble, and for a second you were tempted to grab it, but you resort to the side of the Bronco to keep your balance and the hand retreats.

Training your eyes to the ground, to anywhere except his stupid face, you explain, “I just need my bag,” gesturing at the lump on the passenger seat of the car. “So I can just catch an uber home.”

“No, I’ll drive you home,” he quickly refuses, fishing out his car keys from his back pocket. You wanted to lunge and steal it from him, but that’s just going to cause unnecessary contact with him. It’s best to avoid touching anything of him because you don’t know what it’ll do to the wall you’ve hastily built against him.

“Don’t bother. Last thing I want is to ruin your chances in getting laid tonight.”

Your words earn a quick eyebrow furrow from him and a miniscule wave of satisfaction runs through you. And you figure it out: if you can’t be happy tonight, no one near you can be.

A desire to cause a cascade of anger through him continues to consume you but he stops there. Face still laced with concern, he shakes his head and sighs, “Alright, let’s get you home.”

You watch him as he opens your door and waits for you to climb in while you remained standing where you were.

“Y/N.” He says it with a tonality he almost exclusively uses at work, when he has to put his instructor hat on or when he has someone to reprimand. “Please don’t make me carry you inside.”

You want to say he wouldn’t dare, but you knew he could easily do it. And even if you scream bloody murder, people knew you two always bicker like this so no one would think anything’s amiss. So you glare at him before noisily climbing up his car and shutting the door on his face. Whether it may be through words or actions, you were adamant to express your frustration to him, to this car, to this entire situation.

You could tell by the slump in his shoulders as he walked to the driver’s seat that he was bothered by how you’re acting but you can’t bring yourself to care. You just want to leave him troubled as you are, with his heart wrung tightly he couldn’t breathe.

The next words come out after a while of driving quietly through dark, empty streets. He was letting you calm down but your mind was far from it. You occupy yourself by counting the streets left to cross before you reach your apartment from the passenger window, wanting nothing but to get the fuck out of there and sleep.

“Y/N,” he starts. “What happened back there? Did anyone cause you trouble? Tell me what they look like so I can tell Penny and Mav about it tomorrow.”

You were thankful you had your hands tucked in, arms crossed over your chest, because you were certain if it had been anywhere else he could easily reach over and touch, he would.

When he was answered with silence, he tries again. “Were you hurt, Y/N? What did they do to you? Please tell me.”

“God, shut up. You’re making my head throb even more.”

“I will when you answer me. Even Phoenix doesn’t know what’s up with you back there. She says you just got up and left.”

“Maybe it’s just that.”

“I know you enough to know that it isn’t. Something happened that made you this upset.”

“Why do you care so much, Rooster? Dealing with you is suffocating.”

His mouth gapes incredulously, and if the car was stopped in a light he would’ve stared at you in disbelief. “Wha–,” he stutters. “Y/N, come on. Don’t be like this.”

“Like what, Rooster? Like a bitch?” You snort. “I already told you earlier I just needed my fucking bag. I didn’t ask for you to come drive me home. I’m only here because you insisted.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I–,” “I don’t want you to go home alone and upset. I hate seeing my best friend like this and not being able to help. I’m sorry.” There it was again, best friend. An affectionate word, even an achievement to have for others, but you never had a word that triggers so much hate in you as much as that. It sends your temper bubbling higher.

You scoff.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. If you’re mad at me, at whatever I did, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not letting you buy the bluetooth microphone. I’ll get you a new one personally as soon as we get home.”

Now you really laugh, insulted, like salt being thrown haphazardly on your fresh scars. You should’ve cut this man off ages ago. “All this, and the best you can think of is that I’m fucking upset over a microphone. God, I’m really seeing everything tonight, am I?”

“Then help me out, Y/N! I’ve been sitting here going through tonight and yesterday night and the last week, wracking my brain for anything I’ve said or did that made you this upset with me.” He breathes, trying his best to calm himself down.

In a leveled tone he begs, “Please tell me what I can do to make this right.”

“You actually saying that unprovoked just proves everything I’ve realized tonight about you, Roos. I just feel stupid now trying to convince myself that you weren’t dense and selfish when it’s really all about you, isn’t it? You only get bothered when someone lashes out on you. Then you self reflect. You only care about your feelings, about your happiness. You don’t give a shit about anyone else!”

“What? You know that’s not true, Y/N.”

“Knowing you forever says the opposite, Rooster. You have the world in your hands and God forbid anyone upset you and ruin your night—”

“God, Y/N, I’m sorry that I can’t read what’s on your mind! If you can just tell me what the hell I did that got you this pissed so I can apologize for it, instead of saying cryptic and hurtful shit that I know you don’t mean then we’d have a better conversation, don’t you think?”

“Wow, so now you’re telling me the things I mean and don’t mean. You sure you can’t read my mind, Roos?”

“I know you’d never say those things to me because you know who I am. You think I’m shallow? Okay. That I’m narcissistic, fine. But saying I don’t give a shit about anyone, about you,” he pauses. “You know better than that, Y/N. I know you do after everything we’ve gone through—”

“So now you want to compare the shit we did, shit we sacrificed for each other during this fucking friendship? Alright, I’m down. Go ahead.”

“What— no! Fuck, Y/N, please. I know what you’re doing, you’re trying to hurt me, making me feel the way I made you feel.” He pleads, his voice getting hoarse from all the screaming. “Just please tell me what you want me to do to fix this. Please.”

“I want nothing to do with you.” It came off so easy from your tongue it’s hard to believe you held this back for years.

It surprised him too, so much so that he gave up trying to make you admit you didn’t mean it. The certainty in your voice scares him enough to believe as soon as he heard it. “Why?”

“Because I fucking hate you.”

You see shock, anger, and sadness and all sorts of emotions you can’t catch because of the tears blocking your vision flit on his face quickly. With a morose expression, he shakes his head in disbelief, blinking some tears away, willing them not to fall. You knew he’s trying to think you didn’t mean it.

But now with tears falling freely, you know you finally do. “​​Because you make me become someone that I’m not and I hate it. You make me jealous, you make me spiteful of the girls that come near you, you make me hateful and bitter that I can’t make you smile like you do with people who barely know you. And I know that’s so petty and immature and I know better than that but you just make me stupid and irrational.

You make me dependent on you for things that I can do myself. I can drive myself home I can do my own groceries I can take care of myself when I’m sick but now that you’ve weaseled yourself in my life these things aren’t the same without you. I hate that I got attached to this fucking car that eats up gas so fucking quick. I hate seeing your stupid Hawaiian shirts you always forget to iron. I hate your stupid fucking mustache and how long you take to fucking shape them.

I fucking hate how I get so weak when I’m with you that I get all the feelings I know I should’ve given up on ages ago and I know, I have fucking known for years that you’ll never feel the same way I do and yet here I am. I hate that I can’t quit you after all these years I’m still here and I love you and I can’t do anything about it.”

You also hate that unlike the confession scenes in movies have the heroine crying but still look beautiful, you had tears and snot dripping on your shirt and jeans and you only found out when you tasted some while sputtering and spewing out all the words that haunted you for years on Bradley.

Finally everything was on the table. You’ve crossed the point of no return and instead of feeling relief you felt spent, exhausted, and widely aware that you don’t have strength to face your best friend anymore. In fact, you’re sure you just lost yours.

Tears have blinded you to what you were facing and you could barely breathe from the snot build up in your nostrils, so you pull up your sweater to wipe and sneeze into until—

BONK!

A searing pain erupts from a specific point on your forehead and you clutch it while curses flow from your mouth, tearing up again because it fucking hurt and it made your headache ten times worse. Bradley must’ve hit you with something and you’re mad but you also understand why he’d do that.

But as you blink some tears away you see him cradling his forehead as well, groaning and cursing in pain, mirroring your actions.

What the hell just happened? Did he just headbutt you?

Turns out you’ve thought that one out loud. “I didn’t, you dumbass. You keep on fucking moving.”

He grabs your face, encasing it with his big hands forcing you to look at him. You stare at each other for a second and after everything you’ve exchanged in this car you want it to last until it couldn’t, because you knew this would be the last time you’d have Bradley this close. Even if his beautiful features are marred with pain and frustration and other emotions you couldn’t name.

He groans, pulls on the sleeve of his thermal shirt and wipes the snot and tears off of your nose and mouth haphazardly.

And then he leans in for a kiss.

There was a blink, a split second of silence, before the chorus of voices erupt in your head: your five year old self disgusted that you’re kissing that snotty Bradshaw kid; a ten year old you guilty and scared that Ms. Carole will get mad at you for not asking permission to kiss her son; thirteen, appalled that you were basically making out with someone that’s clearly not Emmett Richmond from Legally Blonde; seventeen year old you screeching, screaming ‘FUCKING FINALLY!’ and immediately searching for a Taylor Swift song to accompany this moment; and a twenty six year old Y/N more confused than ever that you’d still end up here, living your adolescent fantasy instead of finding someone new and better.

Yet amidst the chaos, you find yourself mute. In the moment, yes, you were hopeless against Bradley’s lips, yours following his lead like a teenager on her first kiss because you haven’t had (or probably refused to get) enough practice to do this thing properly, but you found it graceless, like trying to walk in shoes that were one size too big— not quite right. Like you couldn’t give yourself fully to the moment because something hefty still lingers in the air, left unsaid.

So against your past selves’ wishes, you pull away. Looking down, you refuse to look at him, afraid that his eyes will confirm your worst fear. “Please,” you whisper nervously. “Please don’t kiss me because you feel bad. That’s… that’s mean.”

An exasperated sigh escapes Bradley and two fingers tilt your chin to face him properly. There wasn’t any trace of guilt nor contempt on his flushed face. Just pure exasperation for all the things you’ve done tonight but you can’t let yourself be so sure. No falling for anything without full certainty and a vocal confirmation. You had enough of your fair share.

“God, you’re the smartest girl I know but you’re also incredibly dumb. I kissed you to shut you up and let you know I do feel the same thing because I know if I just say it you won’t listen because you’re too fucking stubborn.” He huffs.

Locking eyes with you, he quirks an eyebrow waiting if you have another protest to make. If you weren’t in this situation, you would’ve laughed at the ridiculous irked face he’s making. Maybe he is telling the truth, you tell yourself. Maybe this time, it’ll be right.

Deeming your silence and waiting, parted lips as an answer, he says sulkily, “Now, can I continue this without getting interrupted?”

You hit his arm as you nod. Your lips meet again, the kiss deeper this time around judging by the arm that now encircles you, attempting to pull you closer to him but failing miserably.

“Fuck this shit,” he grumbles.

“Language, Bradshaw, damn,” you chuckle, watching him slide off his seatbelt, putting the car on park and the hand brake on.

“My right foot fell asleep because I was stepping on the breaks this whole damn time.”

Now you really laugh. What a giant dork.

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves you off as he reaches towards you and slides off your seatbelt. “Wonder whose great idea it is to confess feelings in the middle of a goddamn street.”

You didn’t get the chance to reply in between hysterics because he swiftly carries and maneuvers you around so you were straddling him, surprised at how comfortable it was. You never had him this close before and you sober up quickly into a mesmerized silence, just admiring how beautiful he looked this close, how the streetlight outside lands square on his face and you could see the speckles of green in his brown eyes, and how all of this is yours. God, saying that feels so foreign but right.

He lets your soft fingertips graze the contours of his face, from his lips to the tip of his nose before one finally settling lost in his curls and the other on the nape of his neck. You don’t know this yet, but he also had dreamed of this moment longer than he could remember.

Suddenly you get hit with a familiar wave of the longing in your pit for Bradley, only this time you can act up on it. So you did, crashing your lips onto his.

Like the other things you’ve imagined with him, this was certainly never in consideration. You’d imagine a spacious park, branches of a leaning tree lined with soft fairy lights that made both of you glow as he leans in, lips melding into yours perfectly as soft music crooned in the background. Instead you get a steamy Bronco two streets away from your apartment, and probably more odd locations in your place. Not that you’re complaining though.

—

You were going through some papers that needed to be graded on one of your students’ desk after class when you feel the presence of three amused pilots approaching you.

Even if you didn’t look up, you know by their steps that it was Fanboy, who took a seat in front of you, Phoenix, that sat next to you, and a snickering Hangman who opted to stand beside you, looming over your hunched figure.

“What did my kids do now?” You say, not bothering to greet them. Even if the students you had also took classes with some of them, you were adamant in calling them your children because despite of how much they annoyed you sometimes, you’ve gotten close to this batch and they to you. Some of the instructors would even ask you to sit them down and discuss about the mistakes they made in their other classes so you could work with them to do it better. Not without them holding you responsible when they act out (sometimes. It can’t be helped) of course.

“Oh nothing. They’re great, actually,” Nat replies. “We just wanted to see the beautiful face of our great Indigo today.”

Mickey pipes up. “Yeah, we didn’t even get to see you at lunch today.”

Moving onto the next paper, you say, “I was busy. But didn’t you guys visit my class earlier?” It was just Hangman and Fanboy casually walking across the back of the room, claiming to grab something very important (a random HDMI cord). They scooted out fast but not before getting a good look at your confused face. You thought you had something stuck to your teeth but you didn’t have your phone with you so you just tried to clean them with your tongue.

“Yeah. We did.”

“Uhuh. Need another cord?”

“No, we just need you to look at us, darlin’.”

You almost didn’t, half expecting Hangman to have a plate of whipped cream ready to smack your face, but food isn’t allowed beyond the cafeteria so you reluctantly raise your head to meet the expectant and scandalous looks on your friends’ faces.

No face smashing occurred, only a mesh of hollers, high fives, and nods of agreement.

“What am I missing?”

“Oh, nothing. We’re just happy you had fun last night with Rooster.”

“Took you guys too fucking long,” Mickey drawls, clutching his head in exaggeration. Phoenix joins him in agreement, grinning at you proudly like she’s your mom and you just got a medal for being a top student in class.

A sweat starts to break out of your forehead. You and Bradley didn’t tell anyone that you were together last night, hell, you didn’t even had time to discuss what you guys were now. The last thing you want is for people to make assumptions and you can’t tell them otherwise because you don’t know where you stand. ‘We just fucked all night in every hard surface you could think of, no big deal.’ won’t be an acceptable answer, especially when this reaches Maverick and Penny.

“Wha—,” you stutter. “I wasn’t with Rooster last night! Stop making up bullshit, Bagman.”

Jake just gives you that god awful smirk and nod combo that tells you he knows you’re full of shit right now.

You turn to Nat, desperate for your friend to back you up. ‘’Nat, I wasn’t with him last night I swear.”

She makes her way to your lap and hugs you sideways. You know you could always count on your wingman. “Oh, my sweet Indy,” she coos. “No need to explain. The same bruise you and Rooster have on your foreheads tell us everything we wanna know.”

[chubs-deuce]

I don’t get why people keep commenting they don’t like the pairing or having Alastor be paired off unless it's the obligatory boring popular m/m ships, because it's just like...why comment? It's so backhanded and unnecessary. I think your art is genuinely amazing and the fact people can't focus on that and put in their pettiness and nitpick is annoying. Esp when they're hypocritical + can't realize ace is a spectrum and he doesn't have a romantic orientation confirmed lol. Well unless it's their pairing

I actually receive barely any comments of that sort :o

Either that or I just don't see them bc I already have the people who'd do this blocked with my main (which this blog is not) :'D (thank you so much for the compliment btw!!)

Either way I try not to engage with those people in any significant way, it's just not worth the hassle and I mean- as backhanded as those comments can be, a lot of the time they're not actually meant maliciously and I take them as the compliments they end with. I do more harm alienating the people who genuinely did not mean anything negative by it than I would giving someone the benefit of the doubt over a backhanded compliment.

It's all about attitude, yknow?

There is a lot to complain about in this fandom with its hypocrites and the many individuals that lack reading comprehension and critical thinking skills and then go and harrass other fans over their idea of how everything is supposed to be, or the ones who make every aspect of fandom communities a form of activism and create morality issues where they're not necessary - but why drag the collective mood down by engaging with them and getting yourself annoyed and frustrated with them?

It's imo always best to just block and move on <3

Can't be upset about what I choose to keep out of my view

I understand the frustration with it though, especially in regards to Alastor's sexuality... But it's not really worth debating them

Fandom generally seems to forget a lot of essential internet etiquette rules I think

1) don't feed the trolls

2) ship and let ship

3) curate your own online experience (block who bothers you, filter content to your preferences)

4) don't like, don't read

[imreallyloveleee]

Where do you think it all went wrong with Riverdale?

honestly, part of me is like, the show's over and nothing but fandom matters. so who cares?

the other part of me loves to complain about Riverdale and will continue to do so until the day I die in the parking lot of Michael's Diner in Montgomeryville, PA at the age of 86. so, long-winded answer under the cut

I'm tempted to say it's the s4 b*rchie kiss. It was so wildly out of character for both Betty and Archie that it's laughable. You know how you can tell when something is just blatantly OOC with no justification? They...don't justify it. They find ways to dance around any interaction that might offer clarification. They mute the reactions of the characters who should be devastated by it. And then they jump ahead 7 years so it's easier to just handwave it away as something that happened a long time ago.

but the thing is, I did keep watching after that. I thought: okay, at least we should get an exes-to-lovers arc out of this, which is one of my favorite tropes. there is no way they would spend 4 seasons developing Bughead as this loving, supportive, communicative, sexy, and almost-unbelievably-compatible couple just to tear them apart and never do anything with that dynamic again. maybe it'll be even sweeter seeing them come back together after so much hurt and longing.

boy was i wrong!!!!!!!!!

so, the episode that actually made me stop watching for good, with the exception of some standalones like The Jughead Paradox and the finale, was the s5 musical. that was when i realized that this team of writers was 100% willing, maybe even eager, to completely drop storylines they themselves had been building over the course of a season - do a 180 with all of the characterization and relationships - and then act as though the buildup they wrote never even happened.

in this case, i'm specifically talking about the Bughead reunion storyline they dropped in s5. i'm not going to pretend like it was a GREAT buildup - and it was mostly on Jughead's side, Betty's character in s5 was basically an emotionless misery bot that had sex sometimes - but it was there. Jughead told Tabitha he had unresolved feelings around Betty. that's followed by an entire episode that lays out Betty & Jug's time jump relationship, and how Jughead still believes she's the one who saves him from himself. they work on a case together, they start opening up to one another. Jughead's so worried about her he can't eat.

and then...you know what happens.

(i'll also note here that there was random bts stuff that strongly indicated the musical ep storyline had a drastic last-minute rewrite: lili tweeted a blue dress, suggesting the song with that line was meant for her character; RAS said cole had to do last-minute recording sessions; supposedly crew members have confirmed this was the case, too. since none of it's 100% confirmed you can take it all with a grain of salt, but i believe it.)

it was so fucking insulting as a viewer to give my time and attention to a show made by people who would not only randomly drop the threads they set up, but torpedo them altogether, and then behave like the fans are the ones somehow at fault for expecting a story that actually follows through on its own emotional and plot beats. we're just shippers, so our opinions are dumb and biased! it's just a tv show, so who cares! get over it!

so, i stopped watching, because i knew they would continue to write without any thought or respect for their characters or their audience, and therefore inevitably write themselves into another corner. and, shocker, i was right. they did it again, whisking everyone away to the 1950s because actually resolving any of the scenarios they set up was ToO hArD. why bother when you could just make every single character Righteously Angry and Incurably Horny all the time, lecture the audience about social issues that have already been mainstream progressive for the last several decades, and call it a "love letter" to your fans?

[iodrawsandtalks]

Criticism of Penacony and why i think HYV shouldve quit while they were ahead.

//vent towards the end, references to suicide while those references are quest spoilers Recently I've been doing world quests and grinding out the new region and been repeatedly finding myself walking straight into microagressions and slights to the point where it's been jarring enough for me to put my game down. As a black dude playing HYV games i know well enough not to act like the stupid billion dollar game company cares about appealing to minorities but its 2024 man.

First off, the obvious issue. Penacony has been repeatedly mentioned by the devs themselves to be based off of the Jazz Age from the U.S. a few decades ago.

The Jazz age was a period of time in American History between the 1920's and 1930s where the popularity of Jazz just boomed from being like an indie type of music to one of worldwide popularity. Obviously, Black people in that era are wholly responsible for Jazz itself.

So yeah, Penacony takes its origins from a key black history movement. Penacony, the region that released at the start of February. Black History Month. Star Rail is arguably one of the most popular games right now in terms of outreach because it's free, its new, and its colorful/futurisric etc.... And yet....

Just like with the rest of the HYV games that take real world inspirations, they fucked over black people and their stories.

In Honkai Impact 3rd, basically we had this one black girl who's like sandpaper brown and complains about how much her DARK SKIN ruins her look and how she bleaches her skin using various products to keep it lighter. She is ashamed of her DARK SKINNED mother who's a military woman. Her father is absent. Her mother is also a grown adult who is a B-rank soldier(main character white teenagers are S-rank for reference). Carole Peppers is her name if you want to go further down that rabbit hole.

In Genshin Impact, besides the fact that people with different skin tones are CLEARLY sectioned into certain regions(no seriously there's no real reason why i shouldnt see a black person in any of the existing regions.), and besides the unnecessary amount of whitewashing and besides the perpetuation of the idea of melanin NOT being natural, every single brown/black character in the game has awful playstyles and/or poor matching with weapons/artifacts, inaccessibilty, and they NEVER make it to the top of any meta tierlists. I'm not outright saying they're bad they're just harder and almost never get specialized weapons.

The only previously relevant example in Star Rail was Arlan, a lightning/destruction character. He chews through his own HP and unlike characters like blade/clara, does not have resistance or healing to handle that. Serval, the other lightning 4 star, out-dps's him veryyyyyyy easily. So yeah, the ashy black person character basically dies if you use him for too long and is never relevant TO ANY quests except where he needs to be the sidekick.

sometimes these games have dragons, animals that can understand and process english, or magic.... but then not black people...

Penacony has no black main characters. No black stories of relevance. Yesterday found an NPC whose name was detracted from chocolate and the player had the option to let commit suicide.

yeah ill get to that 💀. This large mass of at least 4 supernatural looking characters and yet no black person. NOT EVEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM penacony itself are black.

so yesterday I was grinding clockwork quests and had to help out some apathetic shopkeeper named Cocona. Her story was almost a bit sad but midway into going through her background i realized her name is one letter off of cocoa. now imagine being on a creative team coming up with a name for a melanated NPC and somebody decides on fucking CHOCOLATE with an extra letter. before anybody implies that one was something i shoehorned, think about how itd go if i had a bunch of POC characters and one white girl named crackerella.

Cocona and her once again sad backstory reach a hard tipping point as the player follows her to the edge of a building and can either grab her to stop her from jumping or simply let her end her life jumping off the building.

Yes we've seen how this game lets you make choices and watch the consequences of your actions, but there have been established rule-breaking predecents. Take Ruan Mei's quest where you have no choice but to eat the cake she offers you and once again lose the ability to make a choice on saying anything related to her. or any time the trailblazer gets pushed into a fight and cannot de-escalate. ....with this in mind consider why was saving the cocoa girl from killing herself NOT a forced option.

normally id be the kind of silly person looking for lore bits and stuff and making theories, (like how clockie is from the path of elation :v)but as a black dude this whole region is disgusting. THEY ARE GENTRIFIYING JAZZ AND COVERING UP ITS BLACK ORIGINS idk who said HYV cared about their audiences they fucking dont.

wouldve posted this on reddit but whoop dee do i am NOT getting doxxed today.

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Hand over the little beasts

on it boss!! o7 this took . fuckig Forever bc i had t doodle everyone since the screencaps i have for them have like 5 pixels Total and would be Incomprehensible so <333 Behold My Beasts!!!

team control team!! they r so silly 2 me :] more abt em under th cut bc uhhhh. yknow.

- Jacob - Snow White's Apple (+Penitence) my first little guy!!! he has a very serious and to-the-point demeanor, and has a very flat inflection on... pretty much everything about himself. he's the one that most embodies his role, for lack of a better term. takes his job very seriously, and intends to do well. his attitude is very dry, but he is very genuine and earnest when it comes down to it in an odd sort of way. he's the type to say something completely off-the-wall entirely stone-faced, and will oftentimes take things said to him in a similar manner. there isnt that much that seems to be able to catch him off guard. if theres something in his way, then he will simply have to overcome it. he'll try anything once. jacob is very intent on keeping things orderly, and will enforce this with his peers if he needs to. bluntly. chaos and a lax attitude are the catalysts to things going wrong, so its as simple as minimizing the chances for this to occur. simple. despite his nagging with the rest of the team, he means no sharpness by it-- he's direct (and maybe a bit... heavy-handed,) but he simply talks to others the way he would address himself, and sees nothing wrong with it. (unfortunately, this makes him come across as rude more often than he'd like... not that hes usually aware.) because of his unexpressive exterior, its oftentimes very difficult to get a grasp on how he thinks or feels about things-- especially since he himself seems to pay it very little heed, even when he Maybe Probably Should. one of the ones most likely to work himself to death without realizing it. hes doing his best ok.

- John - Sound of a Star (+Wingbeat, Hornet) very lax and lackadaisical-- hes insistent on doing what he needs to and very little else. in fact, he makes a very big show of it; always taking his sweet time, not really showing concern for much of anything, even when things are, as they say, Kind Of Really Bad. (Jacob tends to need to prod him along more often than not.) despite this, john is actually one of the more reliable agents of the facility-- always getting things done thoroughly and efficiently with very little instance of error. truthfully, he's actually very prideful in the work that he does, and quite enjoys showing off his skills when he gets the chance. infuriatingly, he tends to respond to questioning of his abilities with a flippant "im just that good." and well... its honestly what he believes. truthfully, he has a complete aversion to genuineness of any kind-- responding to questions with snarky remarks or quips, complaining about assignments, cracking jokes in the face of catastrophe. its... honestly more of a nervous habit than an active choice. in his eyes, if he cant do anything about an issue, theres simply no reason to worry about it. and so he coasts along, completely unruffled on the surface. at first, he didnt really see what the big deal was about the facility. everyone always spoke like it was a death sentence-- but it was just kind of poking some creature or another and leaving a few times a day and that was it. so he let his attitude reflect that. but once things started climbing, he began to slowly understand just how out of his depth he was; and his demeanor... didnt change. why should it? why bother? confidence was half the battle anyway, no point in showing your weakness. honestly, he has no idea what hes doing and simply acts the part-- it just hasnt burned him yet. (not to mention, with how serious the rest of his team was... well, they could use the encouragement.) and well, if it works... who cares about what lies underneath, right? no big deal. just get good.

- Jose - Lament (+Lament) the asiyah layer's special errand boy. for a good while, he was the team's most skilled employee-- always taking care of things cross-department due to being the only one who could really cover that role. watching newbies, working with new abnos, tackling faraway ordeals... that was all on him. and he didnt mind at first, really-- he enjoyed doing good work, being relied on by his peers... but um, well, he'd love maybe a little break, once or twice, thats all... but there's always more work to do, so... he was the first to work with fotb-- certainly not the last, but definitely the most Common. he also happened to be the most Receptive to it. already he was pretty high-strung from the pressure of his responsibilities, but... it was safe to say things reached an entirely new level after that. he wasnt used to abnormalities being so reasonable, for lack of a better term, nor to be able to just... have a conversation, like that. maybe he was listening just a bit too genuinely. they dont want anyone to die. they really dont want anyone to die. but theres nothing really they can do. just keep running! just keep your head up! if anything else, just stay alive! but at this point, death really isnt the worst thing that could happen to them in a place like this. truly, the worst has already happened. there's no escaping the facility, after all. but what could he do about that? so he repeats like a mantra; just dont die. just dont die. please just dont die. he wants to do good so fucking bad. so much is on his shoulders, and he Has to carry it. its practically compulsive. he has to do it because nobody else can. nobody else should Have to. and so he fusses over just about everyone, completely unable to speak of Why it is he's suddenly so skittish-- especially because of just how busy his responsibilities keep him. he just cant stop. theres no time. every second wasted is another chance something could happen. not once, though, did he really worry about himself. the contrast was stark-- constantly running himself ragged for the sake of others, yet paying no heed to his own safety. all that mattered was carrying out his tasks... which made things difficult as the stakes kept rising, but his own capabilities did not. the people he worried about were suddenly able to do things he couldnt even imagine-- and he was struggling paces behind them. he pretends not to notice how much more of his time is spent waiting. its... how do you deal with worrying about those facing trials far beyond anything you know, and you yourself are fully unable to reach them? it was best not to worry about it. ...he was never much good at that, was he?

- Mabel - Mimicry (+Noise, Mimicry, Our Galaxy) hes just some guy. like... he just works here. kinda stands out like a sore thumb, honestly, because of how strikingly... normal he was. a little awkward but well-meaning, prone to wandering (and slacking off...) he mostly just took care of smaller tasks and issues for a while-- coming in so late comparatively, he fell pretty far behind, pretty much just working on zayin level abnormalities well past day 20 or so. more often than not, he was the only one in the control team's main room while everyone else took care of pressing tasks cross-facility, only getting to share a word or two of pleasantries before they had to run off again. he knew the work was important, but... well, everyone always looked so sullen. he could never really understand why-- and whenever he brought it up, it seemed to just sour the mood... after a while, he just stopped trying. things suddenly changed, though, when the facility got its first aleph: nothing there. and somehow, he was decided to be most fit to work with it. it was strange, to say the least, mostly taking care of things that barely seemed to acknowledge his presence and then suddenly... that. hed be lying if he said he wasnt afraid, but this was his job, and he was trusted with it. so obviously that meant they knew he could do it, right? right. things switched around very quickly. he wanted to say it wasnt a bad thing, but... it was weird, is all. going from some nobody standing alone and aimless to... tackling things that shouldnt exist, killing things with power he isnt sure is really his. a lot of things were suddenly like that, honestly. he. suddenly feels like he has to be on his best behavior. um. is this thing on? manager are you seeing this? he gets a lot quieter after that. as it turns out, hes very harsh when he doesnt mean to be. hes honest, but sometimes that honesty could hurt. hes a bit intense… everyone else was, so it kinda rubbed off on him. hes compensating for his own lack of interest in bloodshed. he wants to be respected, but it just ends up scaring people. he isnt quite sure how to stand up for himself now. he just does what hes ordered bc hes never had a choice before, so why now? he needs to figure out who he is again– the ego did quite a number on him. he kinda fucks up on interactions way more than he thinks he used to. he keeps himself small and quiet so he doesnt accidentally trample over anyone. (he doesnt like the strange looks the clerks give him now. he doesnt exactly Like his ego gear or what it does to his brain, but it keeps him safe, so... hes here to help, remember? don't be scared...) honestly, he does really yearn for kindness and gentleness. its just… hard to admit. especially to people he still subtly thinks are above him. hes not stupid. he knows abandonment when he sees it. he cant really blame them for it, but… it still hurt, yknow? he wasnt Supposed to be anything, which was insulting, but now that he Is everyone treats him so differently, and somehow thats even More insulting. hes more than just a machine yknow… but, well, if that's his job, then. whatever.

theyre basically just.... a bunch of randos who are all trying their best, got disillusioned and distant, then suddenly clung together after realizing just how fucked everything was all of a sudden. theyre all overwhelmed, but theyll be damned if they dont look out for each other. jose was team captain first, but after some shuffling, the title fell on jacob. they all seem much happier with this.

they all honestly bounce off of each other really well despite everything-- jacob keeps everyone facing the right direction, quickly and calmly guiding the team. john provides a more lighthearted energy, but also is very skilled at keeping a level head and offering clarity when the others get overwhelmed. jose and mabel both cover for everyone else, but Especially each other after their own respective... trials. despite The Horrors, theyre all honestly keeping each other together very well.

bbbbut thats only four of them right? five to a team and all. well the fifth is um, well. yknow, its. well,

(also heres everyone elses sprites from various places in th playthru bc ilove them :] yay)

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

WAIT THAT ANON WAS ONTO SOMETHING. I NEED MORE BRAT TAMER AARON 😩😩😩. Also your work is gold. finding you after sm time scouring for warner fics felt like i won the lotto. love you!!

-🪷 (i’ll use this as my anon emoji)

HI ANON! omg my first anon emoji LOVE IT !!! and always makes me so happy when someone says they love my blog TYSM!!! happy to provide more brat tamer aaron so here are some quick & brief hcs that are canon bc in my aaron warner universe while i finish pt 3 of the other piece :D (very short so won't label it as a full hc thing)

aaron warner is naturally a brat tamer, it is basically in his genes. he was raised by a supreme commander, how could he not ?

big part of his casual dominance thing.

helping you dress, even choosing your outfits most days, if you’re wearing a dress he’ll make sure it’s not too short, helping tie shoes & strap on heels, making sure you wear a coat if its cold, holding your hand on walks, stopping you when he feels you’d had enough drinks at parties, etc.

you’re normally not bratty, aaron dotes on you so much, it’s hard to want to push his buttons. –but there’s always a time where your brattiness makes a show, intentional or not.

brat tamer aaron is pretty patient, not too strict if you act out a little. it takes quite a bit for him to get fed up with the way your acting.

gives him a little sass? he’ll just smile or even give a quip back. if you complain about something, he’ll accommodate to satisfy you. rolling your eyes would get you a stern look, but he wouldn’t verbally call you out on it.

you get major princess treatment so aaron can easily let a little of your brattiness slide.

he finds it entertaining when you try and rile him up, on the contrary it’s very annoying to you and more you act bolder in your brattiness.

what really makes aaron go full brat tamer mode on you is when you deliberately disobey him.

you ignore the dress he laid out for you and change into one that definitely will have your ass showing if you bend over too much? you’ll get at max five steps into the room before aaron lifts and carries you on his shoulder out back to his room. (he’ll you his coat over you to ensure you dont flash anyone on the way out).

or when you’re really upset at him for an issue he caused, you’ll ignore him. if you see him coming your way - you’ll walk the opposite, you act deaf anytime he calls your names, and show him no form of attention.

this will definitely bother aaron the most, especially since he’s the clingy type. he’s devises a sneak attack plan, and catches you off guard when you’re alone. before you can even digest the situation — he has you against the wall.

he'll apologize for whatever he did, beg for forgiveness, then scold you for ignoring him. you'll get away with little punishment if you end your behavior there, but if you're bent on pretending he doesn't exist - aaron is going to fuck the silence of you. and to be the extra person he is, he's going to handcuff you two together for a day, so you're essentially forced to be with him. leash kid type treatment.

there's even times when you're not even trying to act bratty, and you accidentally set him off.

one particular day you were just looking extra pretty, according to aaron. you were talking to your friends and just doing what you usually did. however, aaron saw it acting out behavior and you obviously were trying to get his attention. he actually just wanted a reason to call you a brat and punish you.

aaron’s punishments vary. he always starts with a warning for you to starts behaving good again. usually it’s enough for you to act like a good girl again. if it exceeds that, then get ready to be dragged back to his room, somewhere private if you’re not close to it. then, you start getting a realization of what you just did.

if it was a rather simple punishment like giving him attitude the entirety of the day, you’ll get bent over his lap and spanked, aaron will keep making you apologize for acting like a brat the entire time.

if it’s something like the dress stunt; you’re going to get ailed on the nearest surface available. you’ll be in teary-eyed and empty-headed by the time he’s done with you.

either way, you won’t be able to sit properly the next day. or even rest of the week.

[delulu-with-wandanat]

Am I the only one to think Natasha is very rich woman if not a billionaire even though she never shows that to anyone not even Clint knows the extent of her riches and uses conveniently Stark's resources. After she starts dating wanda, she would secretly change stark issued credit card for wanda by hers bc she doesn't want her partner to use another person's money, she would drown wanda with expensive jewelry and gifts even though wanda is a simple girl, she would buy anything wanda so much so mentions in a fleeting moment with over the top amounts. Her actions bother wanda in a loving way so she complains about it to Sam or Steve one day, they would be surprised bc nat never used Stark's money to that extent except maybe for ammunition never for personal stuff, that makes her doubtful so she goes reluctantly to tony asking him to trace nat's spendings but he couldn't find anything suspicious. The expensive gifts continue so one day she decides to confront nat about her suspicions, bc nat immediately noticed tony tracing her ( an excellent hacker herself) she have been meaning to come clear to wanda even though she cherished her secrets, she tells her the secret, Wanda then teases her "so now you're my sugar momma?" and "I can't believe I beat a spy at her game and find out her secret all by myself" Natasha is properly grumpy about the second one. To properly say sorry for keeping things from wanda even though wanda is ok with it, she takes her to one of her secret warehouses that not even Clint knows on a beautiful island, she probably owns in the middle of the night just to mess with the boys.They get up the next morning with no trace of the 2 woman, after a while they start worrying (wanda almost never leaves the compound and if she does she tells Steve bc he's a mother hen). They go on a searching spree thinking of worst scenarios, after a while nat hacks into Tony's system just to mess with him (he really hates when she does that bc he likes to think his system is invincible) telling him "relax shell head we have gone on a vacation", tony retaliates " do you realize you have just given up one of your super secret spy safehouse to me now" knowing her secrets are sacred to her and "how did this island escape me, I am gonna have to talk to pepper, I can't believe she missed this gorgeous island" she replies"I trust you " which she even surprises herself to admit that but bc neither of the two were never good with emotions she deflects "now shut it you incessant radio and stop bothering me, I have got a goddess waiting for me to please, don't you dare do anything stupid, you know I don't threaten vainly" still in the haze of that admittance he replies" yeah yeah go ahead and enjoy your little honeymoon, you will not be missed dracula" He then lets the other boys sit with their worries for a bit and stops vision from telling them bc vision found out too, it's only after tony sees them all gearing up, that he eventually tells them. Sam vowed to retaliate for this prank while Steve was planning on dumping his work on nat.

|Sorry, I am annoying and pathetic, sorry to that other person I sent this too, I couldn't resist messing with you|

Omg i LOVE THIS!!!

I mean considering she's an Avenger, was a former assassin that has connections here and there I can definitely see it. Hell for all we know she could own a business at one point-

There's a lot of ways to make money, and as we know Natasha knows... well everything i guess.

She would in fact, without a doubt shower Wanda with gifts. That reminds me of one of those capcut tiktok template where it goes;

Wanda: Ok, detka! Are you ready to exchange gifts?

Natasha: Yesss. I'll go first.

Wanda: Okiee :>

Natasha: It's not much, but its the thought that counts <3

Wanda: Awee-

Natasha: I got you 10 pairs of Dior sneakers, a moose knuckles cuz it's getting cold, and an Iphone 13 Pro Max.

Wanda: I... what-

Natasha: I know, it's not much I'm sorry but... Oh- OH, I also got you a Benz and a mansion.

Wanda:

Natasha: Ok your turn :>

Wanda:

Wanda: *pulling out a flower and teddy bear dressed as black widow*

Natasha, gasp: OMG babeee I love it!

[seonghwa-potatos]

You are mine, I’m yours

SUNGHOON GIF

summary: Coming home to a night of clubbing, you wanted something fun to do since you didn’t have a good time.However, you were in trouble as soon as you came home, expecting the unexpected you get a new feel of unusualness with your husband Sunghoon, He’s acting different than normal, but you weren’t complaining because you had fun

pairings: possessive!dom!sunghoon x sub!reader ( married )

warnings: mafia au, alcohol consumption, creep at a club, light bdsm

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Leave a tip if you’d liked! :)

You and your group of friends are headed to a club, but you couldn't wait, because you haven't been to one in a while.Getting dropped off by Lily's brother you guys wait in line. About 10 mins later you guys enter.”Straight to the floor!” Mina says excitedly running as she takes a shot. You and the others follow behind her dancing along to the beat.Feeling the beat you let the beat flow and just dance.You felt yourself get a little wavy so you decide to get some water from the bar.30 mins scroll by and you feel a little less wavy than before.Going back to the dance floor you and your friends dance to yall anthem song.

One song after another, you feel Mina grab your waist, but then you realize its not.Turning around you see him smiling creepily at you.”Wannaaa goo to myy place” he says putting his hand on your shoulders.You push his hand off your shoulders.”Dont fucking touch me” you say menacingly.He’ s suddenly dragged off by 2 guys, but you dont question it, things happen for a reason you say to yourself.You enjoy yourself for another 30 mins and It was time to get then.

You all walked out getting into a car and you were surrounded by all your drunk friends. You were done,You wished you were home, but wanting them to get home safe, you were the last to go home.

20 mins later

You get home and so irritated with the night you wanted to do something fun but what was their to do at 2am.Opening the front door.”Honey, Im home” you say all lights are off you turn them on to see Sunghoon sitting in his chair.”Undress” he says spreading his legs leaning back on his chair with his hand gesturing to you to undress.”huh” you say not sure if what he said was what he said.”I said undress” he says cocking his head to the side, smirking. Making you flustered and aroused by what he says you begin to undress slowly only into your bra and underwear.” Sunghoon a-are you mad?” you say because you had never seen this side of him.You were turned on by what he was doing, but you wanted to make sure everything was okay.”Look” he says leaning forward at your eye level.”No one can touch you besides me…Now get on your knees in front of me” he says running his hands through his hair.You get on your knees looking at him you could tell he was mad, you saw his veins popping out as well as the jaw thing he does sometimes.Then you remembered at the party, he had to have saw.

”When he got dragged away, that was you?” you say questioningly. “He’s dead”he says “dead, again Sunghoon you can't do this every time something happens.”You say getting up towards him.He stands up at the same time looking down onto you. “You belong to me, I didn't like how he touched you” he says, brushing his hand over your face.”But why were you watching me” you say crossing your arms.”To keep you safe, If something were to happen to you I would have peeled him alive, so he’s better dead” he says pressing his lips onto yours.You wanted to talk to him about this issue right then and their, but your mind went crazy after he went down to you neck kissing it.He looks so good in his suit you told yourself.He breaks away “tonight i'm going to ruin you” he says meeting your eyes.”You’ve been a bad girl,So tonights your punishment” he says.You bite your lip a little excited.”p-punishment “ you say feeling your face become red. You were never this sensitive, but Sunghoon made you drop your panties every time.He’s usually a lot sweeter and does what you want usually during sex but him taking control brought a different feeling you wanted to see fully.”Get on your knees” he says watching you get on your knees in front of him. Placing his hand on your chin and making you look at him he says “Now open your mouth for me” he says cocking his head.You open your mouth without hesitation as he begins to unbuckle his belt.He puts his cock into your mouth moving your lips a little with his fingers.You feel his cock hit the back of your throat.”Now if you be a good girl, I'll let you cum today” he says running his hands through your hair.You begin to gag on his dick as you look up you see his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he groans.pulling out he sits on his chair telling you to take off your underwear and lay onto him.Sitting on his lap you feel yourself becoming wetter than you are.He runs his hand down your spine unclipping your bra.Moving his hand to your waist he runs his hand down to your clit rubbing you.He notices how sensitive you are, as you begin to shake a little.”Do I make you feel good” he says whispering into your ear.”Is that why your so sensitive today?” he says as you feel him breathing onto your back. “Sunghoon y-you can't say that” you say heavily arching onto him as he plays with you , edging you on. He then pulls his hand away.”S-sung hoon why'd you stop” you say heavily. “The only way you're getting off is using my thigh," he says.”I-I “ you forget what you want to say panting by the suddenness.

So you go back and forth onto his leg, but it doesn't seem to work.”C-can you just put it in me”you say turning facing him.”baby, that's not how this works, fucking you today, will be your reward, so do as I say and you’ll get what you want baby” he says turning you back around and pushing you onto the floor.He bends you over pushing his hand down on your back making you arch.He then grabs your waist putting you on him,making you feel his bulge.”This, this is what you want baby, remember your goal” he says pulling away and standing up.Their was no way he could resist for so long.So you wanted to put him to the test.”Is that so?” you say turning walking towards him pushing his chest making him go to the wall. “Don't tempt me” he says grabbing your hand, cocking his face towards you with your lips and his barely apart. He grabs your arm moving you into the room near, pushing you onto the bed.”I want you to touch yourself in front of me” he says leaving you shocked,Your face becomes flushed with red because this would be so embarrassing.”Don't pretend to be so innocent, spread your legs for me”He says looking at you.Opening your legs you slide your hands down rubbing up and down you stuff two fingers inside you,you hold your moans.

You let out a small moan accidently.You look up to see if he heard you.Meeting his eyes you look back down hoping he had it heard.You start to rub your clitoris holding back as much as you could.He was your husband, but you couldn't explain the feeling of why you wanted to hold your moans.All of a sudden he grabs your chin forcing you to look into his eyes. You accidently let out a surprised moan.”Good girl, let me hear more of you” he says, holding the back of your neck causing you to moan laying down onto the bed.He places his hand sliding his hand down your thigh circling your clit.You flip you head back “Sunghoon d-don't stop” you say whimpering.”I didn't know you could be this sensitive” he says like he's observing you.he hits your spot “Cum for me baby” he says pressing down for you.The bed is soaked in seconds.”I'll be using the blindfold” he says making you sit up.Before you know it all you see is black.You feel your hands moved to the back of you being tied with something.You feel yourself turned over making your face into the bed with your ass in the air. A good minute passes by “Sunghoon?” you say embarrassed because your ass is just in the air.You feel your clitoris met by his tongue, with such suddenness you let out a squeal clenching your legs he prys them open still licking you down. You moan into the bed not being able to control them no longer and you feel his tongue inside you constantly.The sensation is so strong you feel yourself melt as he holds you up. He removes himself from you “Your thighs are shaking so much” he says you could hear the smirk of the way he said that.Turning your head to the side “S-sung hoon “ you say as your breath hitches.” I’d hold onto the bed frame if I were you” he says making you do so.Grabbing onto the frame, you feel him at your entrance as he goes in.

A cut off moan comes out as he enters you.Thrusting inside you, your moans are more like whimpers now as he goes deeper cutting your moans off completely as he pounds you senseless.You had lost yourself completely. Pulling out he flips you over facing him, taking the tie, he tied you up with off, and the blindfold. You see him breathing heavily with sweat coming off his hair dripping onto you as he shoots his cum on your breast collapsing onto you, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. Laying on his chest breathing hard he says “your mine, I don't share what I own remember that.”

[hidden-misthios]

Something in the Orange (part 2)

Pairing: Lambert x female!sorceress!reader

Word count: 3 601

Summary: When Geralt of Rivia disappears, Jaskier has no choice but to ask his best friend for help. Although struggling with her own issues, Y/N agrees and they join Vesemir and the others in Kaer Morhen. The search might be difficult but not as difficult as the certain redheaded witcher who keeps challenging her.

A/n: I’m sorry for a long wait! 

Part 1 is here.

Y/N sighs. Of course it had to be him.

“Where is he?” she asks Vesemir, not really trying to hide her reluctance.

“Probably in his room. I’ll take you there.” he offered. Y/N nods and follows Vesemir out of the library. They walked through the castle in silence while Y/N was trying to think of what to say to Lambert once she was there.

When they finally arrived, Vesemir knocked on old doors.

“What?” they heard him grumbling from the other side and then the doors opened. He slightly raised his eyebrows when he noticed Y/N.

“We need your help.” Vesemir said.

“’Course you do.” he said, suddenly sounding tired.

“Y/N is an oneiromancer.” Vesemir started but Lambert immediately realized where this conversation is going.

“No. I’m not letting her bewitch me!” he shook his head.

“I’m not going to ‘bewitch’ you.” Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She crosses arms on chests while stepping closer to him. Lambert instantly steps backwards.

“We are just going to have a quick nice chat about your last encounter with Geralt.”

“And that’s supposed to help us get him back? How?” he frowns, crossing his arms as well.

“So many questions.” Y/N sighs and passes by him, entering his room without his approval. Lambert was about to protest but Y/N was getting inpatient.

“I’m going to need a chair, right here” she points next to Lambert’s bed. “You’re going to lay down and drink this.” Y/N opens her leather bag and pulls out a small bottle of sleep potion.

“You can’t be serious. I’m not drinking that.” Lambert complains.

“Since you two have things figured out, I’m sure you don’t need me. I’ll see you both in the morning.” Vesemir quickly adds and before anyone could say anything, he leaves down the hall. Y/N looks at Lambert again, and throws a small bottle at him. He caches it but doesn’t even look at the bottle.

“I said I’m not drinking that. Are you deaf?”

“Listen, witcher.” Y/N is annoyed at this point but she keeps her voice steady and calm. “I’m trying to help you find YOUR friend. Are you really going to make this harder than it already is?” she crosses arms.

“It’s harder because you got involved, not because of me!” he raises his voice slightly. Y/N steps closer, getting into his personal space.

“If this doesn’t work, I’m out. Okay? You’re on your own.” Y/N tried to sound patient, but Lambert could still sense the annoyance in her voice. All of a sudden, he grins.

“Deal. If it doesn’t work right away, you and that ridiculous trumpeter are out. By the first rays of the sunlight.”

Y/N’s jaw slightly clenches. “Deal.” she agrees, not wanting to break the eye contact first. Lambert looks at her for couple of seconds longer and then suddenly turns around, grabs the chair next to him and effortlessly moves it next to his bed.

He opens the bottle that Y/N gave him and looks at its content. Dark green liquid didn’t exactly smell like honey and flowers but Y/N knew how powerful the potion was.

“Go on. Drink all of it.” Y/N says as she sat down. Lambert sits on the edge of his bed. He hesitates for a few moments before finally drinking the potion.

“Lovely.” he manages to speak before coughing a couple of times. Y/N grabs an empty bottle from his hand and leans back into her chair.

“Okay, now, lay down. I’ll explain how this works.”

Lambert doesn’t say anything but lays down and crosses arms on his chests.

“Relax. Firstly, we need to discuss the details of your bond with Geralt.”

“We are friends, brothers. There’s nothing to discuss there.” Lambert says shrugging his shoulders but Y/N could swear she heard a bit of discomfort in his voice. He wasn’t comfortable with sharing his feelings with her.

“Lambert, my ability works only if my clients are honest with me. Do not lie. Don’t keep the details from me. I need to know how strong is your bond. Try to flesh out feelings, emotions…Truth is essential in this.”

Y/N looks at him. At least he looks like he’s listening to her.

“So, what are you going to do once you see that dream of yours?”

“I won’t see anything. You will.”

“I don’t understand-”

“You will. Now, please, I need the strongest, most complete memory you have of Geralt.”

Lambert hesitates. This wasn’t what he expected when he agreed to do this. After a couple of seconds, he decides to share the memory of their first shared hunt - the one where they killed Chort, who came out of the dark forest while they were still tracking him. The Chort was a beast; large male who was protecting his territory and clearly didn’t want them near, but Geralt and Lambert already got paid by the nearby villagers to get rid of the creature.

“Did he save your life?” Y/N asks. Lambert nods, looking at the dark ceiling. He could still remember the moment he thought he was dying. His stomach twisted just like it did that day.

“What else should I know?”

 It took a while for Y/N to gather information mostly because Lambert didn’t know how to express his feelings but Y/N didn’t rush him.

He’s a witcher after all, she’d remind herself.

By what she heard, they had a complicated relationship and often disagreed but they did respect each other and had a strong bond.

“Alright now, relax, close your eyes. And try to fall asleep. Empty your mind.” she said, and with one quick flick of hand she increased the flames in the small fireplace. The room got warmer almost immediately.

Lambert’s face relaxed after a couple of minutes. Y/N stayed quiet. This was the most vital part. He was supposed to feel like he fell asleep but keeping him in the state between deep sleep and consciousness was Y/N’s job. Sometimes it took a while, so remaining attentive was essential.

She focused, took a slow, steady breath and looked at Lambert. His brows furrowed and his jaw slightly clenched. Then suddenly she felt a soft ‘click’ inside her mind.

Y/N did it! The dream was there. Now, she had to wait. And hope the main dream doesn’t mix with the rest. Sometimes, she couldn’t do anything about it. The sleeper’s mind just went too far off. But, for some reason, she knew that won’t happen now.

After what seemed like forever, Lambert slowly opened his eyes. Although he just woken up, he looked tired. Y/N gave him a minute to sit up and gather his thoughts.

“So?”

“It worked.”

Lambert didn’t waste time explaining. He got up, grabbed his swords and rest of the equipment, and left the room. Y/N followed.

“What did you see?”

“Vesemir will know what to do. Come on.” he hurried her, taking sharp left turn on the main corridor.

“It’s the middle of night!” Y/N reminded him.

“I’m certain he won’t mind.” Lambert said and stopped himself in front of the last door in dim corridor. He grabbed the knob and, without knocking first, pushed the doors and let himself in.

Vesemir, who was sitting next to the window, on an old wooden chair, immediately stood up.

“I know where he is.” Lambert said.

Vesemir’s lips slightly parted. He didn’t even attempt to hide his surprise.

“Kaer Seren.” Lambert said calmly but Y/N immediately heard there was something else behind those words. Vesemir started pacing around the room, mummering occasional swear words for himself.

“You know that place?” Y/N asked, realizing that the answer was obvious but she wanted to be included.

Lambert looks at Vesemir for the explanation. The older witcher doesn’t say anything but approaches the small wooden box that laid on his nightstand and opens it. He reaches inside and Y/N immediately realises he’s holding the letters they got from Geralt’s abductors.

“You see, Y/N, the person who did this, chose that place for a reason.” he says, handling the letter to Y/N. She approaches and slowly takes them from his unsteady hands.

“Kear Seren, or Caer y Seren, if you prefer Elder, used to belong to witcher school of the Griffin. Through decades, the Griffins gathered a massive collection of books about magic in their library. Council of Mages did not like this - mostly because the Griffins refused to share their knowledge. So, naturally, when they got their chance, mages destroyed the castle and its residents. The school never recovered. They are, of course, a few of its members left, but they don’t have a home to return to once the winter hits.”

“That’s…awfully depressing, actually.” Y/N admits, glancing at the letters in her hands.

“But that…That is supposed to be a lesson for us.” Vesemir says with a hint of warning in his voice.” For Geralt.”

Y/N’s throat tightens. “Are you suggesting that the Mages did this to-”

“I am not suggesting anything just yet.” he interrupts her.

Vesemir knew how this whole situation looked like.

Lambert turns to Y/N. “If this was your kind-”

“My kind is not me. I’m helping you and your friend. Do not forget that, witcher!” Y/N warns him, slightly raising her voice. Lambert’s jaw tightens and he slowly starts to walk towards Y/N. “That won’t make much difference to me if it turns out they hold him captive.”

Y/N felt the rage ignite inside her. She starts marching in Lambert’s direction, lifting her arm up to summon the spell. “You arrogant fuck, how dare- “

“Alright, that’s enough!” Vesemir stands between them, raising hands to stop them both from coming any closer. “Let’s talk about this in the morning. Everyone is tired and there’s nothing we can do in the middle of the night.” he says calmly. Neither Lambert or Y/N say anything. They both still stare at each other over Vesemir’s shoulder.

“Come, Y/N. I’ll show you your room.” Vesemir adds. Y/N hesitates for a moment, but decides to join him in peace and quiet. They leave the room without another word, leaving Lambert behind. Y/N notices just now that she was tightly griping the letters in her hand.

They walk for a while down the dark corridor, Y/N’s realizing her heart was still beating quickly from the rage she felt back there.

When they finally reached the guest room, exhaustion and weariness suddenly overcome her. It seemed like her conversation with Jaskier from this morning was weeks ago.

“I’m sorry for what Lambert said back there. We are all quite tense since we received those letters.” Vesemir says, discomfort written all over his face.

“No offense, Vesemir, but I really don’t want to talk about him right now. I really need some rest.” Y/N says honestly. Vesemir nods.

“Of course. Get some sleep. We will talk in the morning.”

Find me.

*****

Y/N sits up in her bed, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. For a few seconds, she’s not sure where she is. At first, she thought it was the castle from her dreams.

Y/N wipes away the sweat from her forehead and takes a long breath to steady herself.

That dream kept repeating itself all over again for a while now but this time it felt more tense, like she was running out of time. But why?

As soon as she looked around the dark cold room, she realized this is still Kaer Morhen.

Y/N takes another glance around the room and then slowly gets up to dress herself. It was barely morning – the sun was shyly peaking behind the snowy mountains. She wraps her winter cloak around her tired body – is seemed that this castle was cold no matter the season.

Suddenly she hears a light knock on the doors.

Her dream is going to have to wait again.

Y/N opens the door. It was Jaskier.

“You’re awake, good. If you’re already packed, we can go right away. Vesemir and the others are almost ready to go.” he says, entering the room and walking around. Y/N raises eyebrows.

“Go where?”

“To Kaer Seren, of course!” he says tensely rubbing palms together. “To find Geralt.”

“Jaskier.” Y/N starts, but stops because she wasn’t sure what to say to her friend. He raises eyebrows waiting for her response.

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.” she says, remembering her fight with Lambert from the last night.

“What? To save him?” Jaskier asks, crossing arms on his chests.

“I’m not saying that!” Y/N answers immediately. “But it might be better if they all go without me.” she speaks softly, feeling the anxiety in her voice. Her friend frowns but doesn’t say anything right away.

“They? You know I’m going as well, right? I know he isn’t your friend. Not even someone you know well. But I do. He’s one of my closest friends, Y/N. I can’t just sit here and wait for someone else to save him. I just can’t. So please” he approaches her slowly. “Do this for me. I’ll own you. I’ll even pay you.” he adds.

Y/N shakes her head. She felt horrible now.

“Jaskier, this has nothing to do you with the money. Or favours.”

“Then what else do you want me to offer you?” Jaskier asks, his voice almost cracking from his pleads.

Y/N takes a long breath and looks away.

“What did Vesemir tell you exactly?” she asks after a few seconds.

“That Geralt is held at Kaer Seren and that we need to go.” Jaskier answers, slowly losing his patience with Y/N.

“Jaskier. His captors might be someone who relies on Chaos.” she finally says.” Someone just like me.”

Jaskier opens his mouth to speak but stops himself. Y/N could almost see his thought process all over his face.

“Y/N, Vesemir wouldn’t-”

“But Lambert would.”

“You’re helping us. You’re on our side!” Jaskier exclaims.

Suddenly, the door of her room opens fully and they both turn around. Redheaded witcher crosses his arms and leans shoulder against the doorframe.

“But when the time comes, would you kill your own brothers and sisters for one pitiful witcher?”

Neither Jaskier nor Y/N say anything.

“That’s what I thought. And that’s why she’s not coming with us.” Lambert says, his eyes pierced on Y/N. She stares back, trying to hide her discomfort.

“Eavesdropper. And in matter of fact, I am.” she responds. Jaskier looks at her, not trying to hide his surprise.

“You are?” he asks quietly.

“Yes, I am.” she says, still looking at Lambert. He scowls, slightly shaking his head. Y/N doesn’t say anything. She didn’t know why she agreed to this.

She was aware this was dangerous for her. Lambert was right. Would she be able to kill a sorceress or a mage that was standing on their way?

But now it was too late. She agreed to come. She let him provoke her again. And this time, it was more serious.

“Alright. But let’s clear up some things, witch.” Lambert slowly walks towards her, until he’s just a couple of centimetres away from her face.

“If I, just a for second, doubt your intentions” he glances over her entire face. Y/N doesn’t move.

He’s standing too close.

“You’re done.” he says quietly. Y/N clenches her jaw but doesn’t lower her eyes.

“Get out of my sight, witcher.” she barely uttered the words. She wasn’t even sure if she spoke them louder than a whisper.

“Gladly.” he instantly responds and pulls back, leaving the room without another glance at her. And just like that, he was gone.

Y/N finally takes a breath. She wasn’t even aware she was holding it in until he was gone.

“Woah.” Jaskier says quietly, glancing towards the door as if he was expecting Lambert to come back.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“He really-”

“Hates me for no reason?” Y/N interrupts him. Jaskier slightly tilts his head, still looking towards the door as if he’s waiting for Lambert to come back.

“No, I don’t think that’s hate.”

Y/N raises eyebrows at her friend. “Is this witcher’s way of showing fondness? If so, I’m not so sure I want to save your friend anymore.” Y/N says.

Jaskier grins. “Geralt is not that bad.” he says but his grin slowly fades away.

“Y/N, are you really going to help us find him?”

Y/N slowly nods. “I will.”

“What changed your mind?” he asks cautiously. Y/N shrugs her shoulder.

“I…I’m not really sure. But I’ll do my best to help you and your friend.” she admits. Jaskier looks at her for couple of seconds and then cleans his throat.

“Alright then, that’s good enough for me. We should be on our way then!” he says, sounding more enthusiastically this time. Y/N agrees, and turns around to look for her bag. There was no reason to wait, they should be on their way as soon as possible.

“Vesemir and the others are already in the main hall. We should join them.” Jaskier says, heading towards the doors.

Y/N grabs the bag from the wooden chair and heads towards her friend. Just as she was about leave the room, she notices those letters that Vesemir gave her sitting on table next to the door.

Y/N grabs them, not really sure why would she need them.

When they finally joined Vesemir and the other witchers in the main hall, the sun had just fully risen and the day was about to begin.

“Y/N we need your assistance again.” Vesemir says after they all formed a circle in the middle of hall. Y/N counted – there was 6 of them. Vesemir, Lambert and Coen were standing with bags over their shoulders while Ciri, the only female witcher Y/N ever met, was holding only her silver sword, nervously switching weight from one leg to another. Jaskier gave Ciri a warm, comforting look but the girl looked at Y/N. Y/N tried to smile but it felt forced. There was nothing comforting or cheerful in conversation they were about to have.

“How can I help?” Y/N asks, turning to Vesemir.

“We need a portal. To Kaer Seren.”

Lambert and Coen groaned. Ciri gave them a warning look.

“Babies.” she mutters, crossing her arms.

Y/N nervously swallows. She wasn’t particularly good at making portals. Being oneiromancer didn’t require creating them anyway. Especially not so far away from her current position.

Or for so many people at once.

“I’m…I’m not sure if that’s good idea.” she honestly tells Vesemir.

“Why not?” Jaskier asks.

“Firstly, I’m oneiromancer – we don’t use portals as our primary form of transportation. Secondly, traveling that far with so much people cannot be done without huge risk.”

“What are the risks?” Jaskier asks carefully.

“Are you joking, bard?” Lambert interjected. “I’m not risking shit.”

“Cowards!” Ciri is slowly losing her patience. She turns to Vesemir. “Let me do it, please!”

“Child, we talked about this.” he speaks softly with the girl, disregarding her infuriation. “We need intractable portals. Yours could be traced from other side of Continent.”

“I don’t think that’s possible for anyone else either. Portals of those proportions are just too noticeable.” Y/N answers.

“I say we ride. That’s the safest option.” Lambert suggests.

“Ride to Kaer Seren is almost week long! They will kill him before we even pass Caingorn!” Ciri groans.

“They won’t kill him.” Vesemir says calmly. Ciri tilts her head and raises her eyebrows.

“How can you be so sure about that?”

Everyone is looking at Vesemir now.

“Because he’s being held as a warning. Those letters…they wouldn’t send it unless they want something from us. Something in exchange for Geralt.”

“Or someone.” Y/N adds. Lambert looks at her.

“What do you mean?” Vesemir asks before Lambert had a chance to speak.

Y/N takes a long breath, stopping herself before saying something that could trigger a new argument.

She carefully formed her next words looking at Ciri.

“If they want someone - “

“She thinks we are holding someone in our cells that they might want back.” Lambert says, crossing arms on his chests. He didn’t sound intimidating this time.

This time, he sounded like he was…mocking her. Y/N’s lips parted but she didn’t know what to say.

Ciri and Coen raise eyebrows at Y/N.

“That’s not what I meant!” Y/N says, realizing how terrible that sounded.

“No? Enlighten us then.” he shrugs. Everyone is looking at her. Even Jaskier, who has never been this quiet since Y/N met him.

“I was thinking… they might want someone else, but couldn’t get to them. Someone like Ciri.” Y/N tells him, but looks over to Ciri. Whitehaired woman looked enraged.

“I don’t care! Just because you think they might want me, won’t stop me from saving Geralt. End of discussion.”

“Cirilla.” Vesemir warns her and the girl’s expression soften a bit. “Y/N might be right.”

“Are you seriously agreeing with her!?” Ciri exclaims, stepping forward.

“I do.” Vesemir responds calmly, but lifts his palm when Ciri was about to protest again. “But I still think you should come with us.” he adds. Ciri stays quiet for a second and then nods. She glances at Y/N with some sharpness in her expression but doesn’t say anything.

“So here is what I suggest we do.” Vesemir says when he realizes Ciri calmed down. “Y/N. You’re going to make a portal. But here’s the catch – you’re not taking us to Kaer Seren.” he adds.

“No?” Y/N asks, slightly nervous when portals are brought up again. One look at Lambert and Coen and Y/N figures they might be as well.

“You are going to take us halfway. To Hengfors.”

[hamliet]

Never Have I Ever... Been So Grateful For a Show

Well, NHIE finished strong after the fourth season got off to a rocky start. The first three episodes were... messy, honestly, but then the story picked up steam. By the time we got to the final two episodes I was bawling pretty much the full way through.

NHIE also continued to flex its mature understanding of nuance, its appreciation for cultural differences, and its determination to keep its characters flawed and realistic. And including a game of Never Have I Ever in the finale? Fab.

All in all, it's a great ending to a great show. I loved it.

Ben and Devi

I've seen people complaining that the end relationship was predictable, or that Devi should be single, and kindly: no. <3

It fit Devi's character to end up in romantic love with someone, because the entire show has been about love for her. Love for her family, love for those who have died, love for her friends, love for her mentors, and yes, romantic love in all the aspects that entails (physical, intellectual, emotional).

The other thing that I think is beautiful about their relationship is that they both push each other in all these ways--physical (obviously), emotionally (Ben's final realization in New York was chef's kiss), and intellectual. They both get to go to their dream schools in part because of each other. Not only have they been pushing each other to excel since before the show started, but Devi helps Ben finish his schoolwork, and Ben encourages Devi to write that final letter to get into Princeton.

Ben's early acceptance to Columbia, which seemed a given given, well, his father and nepotism (I appreciated the show behind upfront about this), ultimately still almost gets sabotaged by his own repressing of other aspects of his life (which parallels Paxton, Blair Quan, and more, and isn't exactly new--see Ben's physical issues last season). This contrasts him with Devi, whose self-sabotage is always doing too much too suddenly. She's been trying so hard all along, but sometimes you need a final cheer to push you over the finish line.

Ben and Devi, Ethan and Margot

Ethan is dark!Ben. Margot is dark!Devi. On paper it's great.

Except... Margot was really, really annoying. I'm sorry, I found nothing remotely redeeming about her. Ethan at least served a purpose. The reason I think the first three episodes are so rough is that they focus on Margot but seem to not know what to do with her. But more about that later on.

Ben's speech about why he chooses to be with Margot in the first episode is well done and shows how much growth he still has to do. Because an essential part of love--of a mature kind of love and relationship--is that you are challenged to become a better version of yourself. Ben and Trent, in episode 2, shy away from this. Trent breaks up with Eleanor because he's afraid she'll break up with him, and he wants to do it first. Ben stays with Margot because she offers him superficial challenges, but nothing substantial in terms of his flaws.

That said, Devi making peace with Margot (numerous times) was narratively necessary because, of course, Margot's kind of a literary shadow (just not really well done). It also showed how much Devi's grown.

Trent + Eleanor

Trent's character is also really well done. That's how you deepen a comedic character. (Ethan was also dark!Trent in some ways; hence, Eleanor's crush on him.) Yeah, Trent's a stoner and not so bright. But, he loves Eleanor. He adores her, and he wholeheartedly believes in her. It's heartwarming to see.

I wasn't surprised they broke up early on, but was relieved they got back together. I think it was a funny inversion of what you'd expect, because El moving on to bigger and better things seemed like a natural progression. Yet, as the scene with El's mom showed... that's not what bigger and better is for Eleanor.

Yes, Eleanor still wants to grow. Yes, she still wants to be an actress and a director, and she's good at it.

But she doesn't want to leave her family and loved ones behind.

Eleanor knows what it's like to be left behind. And obviously it's not the same to leave a teenage boyfriend as to leave your own child like her mom. But, Eleanor ending up back with Trent was, frankly, narratively perfect for both their characters. Because Trent was helping her in her growth, and always had been from Season 3.

I also think they handled Eleanor's dreams and her complicated mother relationship well. The dream itself, even if it is far-fetched, even if it is unlikely to happen, is not bad. Pursuing it also is, in fact, positive (they paralleled this with Devi's dreams of Princeton). But, one of the best parts of dreams? Is the people you meet along the way, the people who cheer you on. It's a metaphor for life.

Paxton (and Lindsay)

Paxton's arc I think is one of the best in the series. I loved his journey from boy who was considered "hot guy" who sucked at school to the point where it was comic becoming a teacher. The episode where he helped Eric join the swim team was actually really powerful.

And, I didn't even roll my eyes when Devi told him he was an even better friend than boyfriend. On paper it's a cliche line, but it totally works within the characters' arcs (and of course the actors' portrayals!). Lindsay also seemed like much more than just a consolation prize to the guy who ends up outside the triangle--their relationship paralleled his with Devi, and quickly got me invested.

His final advice to Devi: "don't reinvent anything" also fits really well, because when Paxton at first refused to be Devi's boyfriend it was because Devi's image wasn't acceptable after the two-timing thing. Then, Devi's anxiety during their public relationship, the anxiety that actually ruined their romance, was because she didn't think she fit with Paxton or "made any sense" with him. But, she does fit with him. As a friend, and as herself.

Blair Quan + College

Blair Quan was also dark!Paxton--someone who lost themselves because they were always the Best in high school. The best student, the most popular. And then at college, everyone was the Best. And suddenly you're nothing.

The situation with Blair Quan was really realistic for how college can be for people, and in how the show (admittedly briefly) addressed the fundamental unfairness of college admissions. I work in higher ed, and... it's not fair. Nothing about it is fair. Professor Warner telling Devi outright that she "should have" gotten into all the Ivies actually meant a lot to me, because it's true.

For any readers of this who are applying to schools, there's a degree to which your merit matters, and there's a degree to which it's up to sheer luck. If they reject you, it's almost certainly not because you're not on par with other applicants. Hard work does not get you into prestigious schools. That's a lie. It gets you to a point, but it also gets a lot of other people to that same point, and then there is nothing at all you can do. It's up to luck.

Fab (and Addison. Kind of).

Fab's arc was interesting, but I feel like it peaked in season 2. I did like her conflict this season though, particularly with messing up about lying to Devi. The scene where she and Devi reconcile was beautiful, and the show handled it really well--giving empathy for Fab as for why she kept it a secret, while also pointing out that the lying was the fact greater problem than the initial applying.

The negative is that... I like Addison, but I wanted more. It kind of sucks that the queer character is the one whose romance doesn't come with two complex characters getting development. And sure, Fab isn't as important as Devi, Ben, or Paxton, but the fact that they wrote a compelling romance between Trent and Eleanor and gave Trent some damn deep character development despite him being a comedic character shows they were more than capable of writing a complex character romance for Fab. Addison is really just... kinda there, and we get no development for them at all.  Which sucks because I would like to have learned more about them! They had potential, especially as a parallel to Trent!

Nalini and Andres

Nalini and Andres were a little more out of left field... that said, Nalini clearly has a type! She likes guys whom she argues with first. I still preferred the hot doctor from Season 2, but that had less to do with Andres and more to do with the fact that I found Margot so irredeemably annoying. Still, I appreciated Andres' growth in realizing that he'd been spoiling Margot by catering to her every whim. This was itself a nice contrast to Nalini, who hurts Devi by being too hard on her.

That was especially a flaw in the early seasons, but Season 4 really showed how much Nalini has grown. She does mess up with her response to the college debacle, so her flaws are still there, but she's so much better than in Season 1. For example, Devi lashing out at her mom after she got deferred was irrational; Nalini really didn't deserve any of that, and yet Nalini still met Devi where she was at: with a chip salad, addressing her fears. It was heartwarming.

Even when Nalini then does mess up with the "stupid" comment, we know she didn't mean it in the same way Devi fears she did (that that's all she can be, rather than that yes, Devi did a dumb thing). When she comes to help Devi pack, it's genuinely heartwarming. I honestly think Nalini and Devi's relationship is one of the best in the show, if not the beating heart at the center of it.

Pati and Len

Now, Pati. Pati and Lens' relationship parallels Kamala's romantic drama--not just with Manish in Season 3, but also with Steve in Season 1. Pati is also very clearly where Devi gets her drama from, and I stan.

I also liked the parallels between Len and Pati and Ben and Devi. They are both Indian-Jewish couples, and Pati and Len's wedding of course marks a grand romance for them... and a grand romantic gesture for Ben, who arrives to tell Devi he loves her.

Kamala (and Manish)

Kamala's arc this season was good as well; I just wish we had seen more Manish than just in the finale. Still, at least Manish did have an arc in the previous season. Though, it was a nice twist to have Kamala's arc be not about romance, but about her career.

Where Art Thou?

I also missed some other side characters, like Rebecca Hall-Yoshida and Jonah.

Margot & Aneesa

The overall show was filled with callbacks to past seasons that were really well utilized, in that they showed the character's growth. Unfortunately, in one instance, this came back for the worse when they repeated one of their biggest writing mistakes from Season 2.

Devi is, simply put, absolutely not morally responsible for reporting Margot to have lied about her alibi for vandalism. Yeah, Margot ultimately didn't do it--but Devi didn't do anything wrong by reporting that. In fact, the principal should have actually done her job and checked the alibi with the teacher; it's like 101 common sense.

Clearly this is a callback to Aneesa (the episode even has Devi reclaiming the nickname "crazy Devi," which started there). However, the shame is that the writers didn't learn from how they bungled the Aneesa plotline, and they did. Here again they hold Devi responsible for something she frankly is not morally in the wrong for. The show also mentions the Aneesa incident and calls Devi "a liar and a bully" for it, but she objectively didn't lie? And frankly Aneesa bullied Devi more than Devi bullied her and was never called out for it.

While I think it's a flaw, it COULD theoretically work from a psychoanalytic theory in that really all that Devi can control is herself. She can't force others to do what she wants, even if it's unfair. And that's part of maturing is realizing that (and it's not the same thing as selfish focus). You can't control the world, even when it's unfair and even when other people are frankly wrong.

I did like more or less how Margot was resolved in the end; namely, that she was not there among Devi's friends at the end. I also liked that Aneesa did defend Devi in the final episode from someone mocking her about the Clean Sweep. It just would've matter more if Aneesa's actions had ever been addressed.

The Principal + Professor Warner

Also, while in general the show is great in its portrayal of teachers and satire of other teachers, the principal sucks and she's not actually funny. She acts like another teenager, but unlike some of the other teachers/adults who are framed well, she's framed as being more or less fine instead of with the critical lens of the others. And she isn't.

Professor Warner stands in stark contrast, because she is wise even though flawed. The principal is just... awful. I'd never liked her, but this season made me hate her.

The Therapist + Grief

Now that I've gotten my salt out of the way, let's end with a positive and a theme.

The therapist's final session with Devi in the penultimate episode--I bawled.

“When I first met you, you were a closed-off, angry little thing... But look at you. Look how far you’ve come. You faced your trauma, and you came out on the other side.” 

They used this to emphasize the show's main theme: grief. Despite how this quote makes it sound, the show doesn't actually frame grief as something to move on from. Instead, it's something that accompanies you.

Grief is like chasing a dream. Grief is part of life. It is love itself, but a painful part of it, and grief never, ever stops. You never "get over" someone's loss. You never stop loving them.

But, you learn to see them around you, and in you. In the dreams you planted together, like Devi's dad telling her about Princeton. In the loved ones you shared, like how Devi yells at her imagination of her father that he's not here, but then Nalini arrives to help her pack.

Just because someone's gone doesn't mean they stop influencing you, or stop being a part of your life.

There will always be moments of pain, like Devi in the final episode with the imagination of her dad. But, there will also be moments of feeling them again.

[rainbowpui]

I read so many different scenario on fake manual: that it was mistranslated and wasn't as deadly as we believe (maybe), that MF gave it to LBH and SJ had no idea(no way lol) , SJ give it to LBH (maybe) and MF gave it to LBH and SJ knew/realized it, was neutral and hasn't done anything about it (most likely)

I want to know your opinion about it..

tbh my opinion is that there is no way QJP doesnt have a library -_- or that lbh couldnt have.... you know..... compared his manual to NYYs? that boy dumb af fr fr XD I think in different parts of sv it either says SJ gave it to him or MF gave it to him so i figure SJ gave it to MF to give to him so like.... LBH WHY WOULD YOU TRUST A MANUAL YOUR BULLY GAVE YOU i think sj didnt actually want it to kill him but more just... for him to run into roadblocks. sj suffered from multiple qi deviations so i feel like he wouldnt feel like its the end of the world if lbh has a few lol. he keeps an eye on him expecting him to like... start having problems and notice that something is wrong but... lbh never does! he just keeps going without too many issues bc hes a half demon instead of a normal human boy and sj is in the bushes like Gah! why hasnt he noticed the manual is fake yet??? why is he still using it and turning out fine??? shouldnt he be getting sick and noticing something is up by now? it probably pissed him off so much more that lbh wasnt being affected like a normal kid would. in SJ's defense... that is weird! and lbh ISNT a normal human child. lets be real.... if lbh WASNT the protag... esp knowing that he grows up to be a demon tryant that destroys the sect and takes over the world.... SJ would be kinda right to think that boy isnt natural lol (and before anyone complains he only became a tyrant bc of sj...... bingmei who was raised by sy ALSO had no issues with destroying the sects and hurting other ppl to get what he wants)