#i was like. i was staying in a different house. with people i didn't recognize

[nexus-nebulae]

ough

[katrafiy]

I think about this image a lot. This is an image from the Aurat March (Women's March) in Karachi, Pakistan, on International Women's Day 2018. The women in the picture are Pakistani trans women, aka khwaja siras or hijras; one is a friend of a close friend of mine.

In the eyes of the Pakistani government and anthropologists, they're a "third gender." They're denied access to many resources that are available to cis women. Trans women in Pakistan didn't decide to be third-gendered; cis people force it on them whether they like it or not.

Western anthropologists are keen on seeing non-Western trans women as culturally constructed third genders, "neither male nor female," and often contrast them (a "legitimate" third gender accepted in its culture) with Western trans women (horrific parodies of female stereotypes).

There's a lot of smoke and mirrors and jargon used to obscure the fact that while each culture's trans women are treated as a single culturally constructed identity separate from all other trans women, cis women are treated as a universal category that can just be called "women."

Even though Pakistani aurat and German Frauen and Guatemalan mujer will generally lead extraordinarily different lives due to the differences in culture, they are universally recognized as women.

The transmisogynist will say, "Yes, but we can't ignore the way gender is culturally constructed, and hijras aren't trans women, they're a third gender. Now let's worry less about trans people and more about the rights of women in Burkina Faso."

In other words, to the transmisogynist, all cis women are women, and all trans women are something else.

"But Kat, you're not Indian or Pakistani. You're not a hijra or khwaja sira, why is this so important to you?"

Have you ever heard of the Neapolitan third gender "femminiello"? It's the term my moniker "The Femme in Yellow" is derived from, and yes, I'm Neapolitan. Shut up.

I'm going to tell you a little bit about the femminielli, and I want you to see if any of this sounds familiar. Femminielli are a third gender in Neapolitan culture of people assigned male at birth who have a feminine gender expression.

They are lauded and respected in the local culture, considered to be good omens and bringers of good luck. At festivals you'd bring a femminiello with you to go gambling, and often they would be brought in to give blessings to newborns. Noticing anything familiar yet?

Oh and also they were largely relegated to begging and sex work and were not allowed to be educated and many were homeless and lived in the back alleys of Naples, but you know we don't really like to mention that part because it sounds a lot less romantic and mystical.

And if you're sitting there, asking yourself why a an accurate description of femminiello sounds almost note for note like the same way hijras get described and talked about, then you can start to understand why that picture at the start of this post has so much meaning for me.

And you can also start to understand why I get so frustrated when I see other queer people buy into this fool notion that for some reason the transes from different cultures must never mix.

That friend I mentioned earlier is a white American trans woman. She spent years living in India, and as I recal the story the family she was staying with saw her as a white, foreign hijra and she was asked to use her magic hijra powers to bless the house she was staying in.

So when it comes to various cultural trans identities there are two ways we can look at this. We can look at things from a standpoint of expressed identity, in which case we have to preferentially choose to translate one word for the local word, or to leave it untranslated.

If we translate it, people will say we're artificially imposing an outside category (so long as it's not cis people, that's fine). If we don't, what we're implying, is that this concept doesn't exist in the target language, which suggests that it's fundamentally a different thing

A concrete example is that Serena Nanda in her 1990 and 2000 books, bent over backwards to say that Hijras are categorically NOT trans women. Lots of them are!

And Don Kulick bent over backwards in his 1998 book to say that travesti are categorically NOT trans women, even though some of the ones he cited were then and are now trans women.

The other option, is to look at practice, and talk about a community of practice of people who are AMAB, who wear women's clothing, take women's names, fulfill women's social roles, use women's language and mannerisms, etc WITHIN THEIR OWN CULTURAL CONTEXT.

This community of practice, whatever we want to call it - trans woman, hijra, transfeminine, femminiello, fairy, queen, to name just a few - can then be seen to CLEARLY be trans-national and trans-cultural in a way that is not clearly evident in the other way of looking at things.

And this is important, in my mind, because it is this axis of similarity that is serving as the basis for a growing transnational transgender rights movement, particularly in South Asia. It's why you see pictures like this one taken at the 2018 Aurat March in Karachi, Pakistan.

And it also groups rather than splits, pointing out not only points of continuity in the practices of western trans women and fa'afafines, but also between trans women in South Asia outside the hijra community, and members of the hijra community both trans women and not.

To be blunt, I'm not all that interested in the word trans woman, or the word hijra. I'm not interested in the word femminiello or the word fa'afafine.

I'm interested in the fact that when I visit India, and I meet hijras (or trans women, self-expressed) and I say I'm a trans woman, we suddenly sit together, talk about life, they ask to see American hormones and compare them to Indian hormones.

There is a shared community of practice that creates a bond between us that cis people don't have. That's not to say that we all have the exact same internal sense of self, but for the most part, we belong to the same community of practice based on life histories and behavior.

I think that's something cis people have absolutely missed - largely in an effort to artificially isolate trans women. This practice of arguing about whether a particular "third gender" label = trans women or not, also tends to artificially homogenize trans women as a group.

You see this in Kulick and Nanda, where if you read them, you could be forgiven for thinking all American trans women are white, middle class, middle-aged, and college-educated, who all follow rigid codes of behavior and surgical schedules prescribed by male physicians.

There are trans women who think of themselves as separate from cis women, as literally another kind of thing, there are trans women who think of themselves as coterminous with cis women, there are trans women who think of themselves as anything under the sun you want to imagine.

The problem is that historically, cis people have gone to tremendous lengths to destroy points of continuity in the transgender community (see everything I've cited and more), and particularly this has been an exercise in transmisogyny of grotesque levels.

The question is do you want to talk about culturally different ways of being trans, or do you want to try to create as many neatly-boxed third genders as you can to prop up transphobic theoretical frameworks? To date, people have done the latter. I'm interested in the former.

I guess what I'm really trying to say with all of this is that we're all family y'all.

[dotster001]

When You Escape Him; Diasomnia

Summary: Yandere Diasomnia x gn!reader. He adopts a child that looks like the two of you. You run to give you both a chance at life. You never expected him to find you.

A/N: so, turns out the burnout was actually sleep deprivation. Who knew!

Heartslaybul Savannaclaw Octavinelle Scarabia Pomefiore Ignihyde Non NRC Staff

CW: major spoiler under the cut, but it does need a content warning, so if you want to see it, it's there, if not, skip straight to Mal's picture. yandere stuff, capture, forced sleep, implied past forced sleep, threats to innocents, Lilia is a shit in 3/4 of these,blood, implied previous injury, implied minor character death

Spoiler Content Warning: reader dies in Sebek 's part.

Three years into your relationship, he had come home and placed a baby in your arms.

"They were left in a box, all alone. And, well, he looks like if the two of us had a child," he sheepishly stared at the ground. "I just, I just figured it must be a gift from the seven."

You knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to tie himself to you through this boy. He looked just like him, and you were disgusted and scared.

Until he opened his eyes for the first time, and you found yourself staring into your own.

And you knew. You had to give this child the opportunity for a better life. A life without him.

In the end, your son did the opposite of what he had intended. And the first moment you could, the two of you had escaped.

Malleus had done something. Something unnatural. You'd at first kind of believed him. But the horns had started growing in on your son. This was your and Malleus' biological child. As unnatural and impossible as it was, you had no doubt.

The woman who ran the safe house had told you to put him up for adoption. She'd smiled sympathetically, but she told you in no uncertain terms that this child would damn everyone there. So either the child had to go, or you'd both have to go. She gave you until the next morning to leave. She'd send you with food and money, but you couldn't stay there. 

But an hour later, as your son had summoned a storm with his crying, she had knocked on your door and told you she couldn't give you until the next day anymore. It just wasn't safe. And you understood, so you quickly began to pack, hastily hushing your infant son, who seemed in no hurry to stop crying.

You froze as you heard a boom. Not a boom from the storm your son had summoned. But a boom you recognized. 

You heard screams in the safe house as vines crawled up the outer walls and windows. You looked at the sad little boy that you'd tried to save from a life in a cold palace, with a possessive and jealous father. You shouldn't have even made it this far. But that's exactly why you thought….

It didn't matter now.

You picked him up, and ran out of your room, straight out the door and into the rain.

“Malleus! Enough!” You shouted. “I'll go with you! Just leave them alone!”

Before you stood a huge dragon, surrounded by his army. But as the dragon looked down at you, its eyes softened, and he began to shrink back into the man you married.

He smiled wildly, extending his arms wide.

“Beloved,” he purred, momentarily forgetting his anger as relief filled him.

You walked slowly through the mud, ignoring the cold that seeped in your bones from the excessive rain caused by two separate storms. You took a shuddering breath and stepped into his embrace, fighting off a shiver of a different kind as his arms wrapped around you and your son.

“Don't hurt them. They're all just innocent people who need someplace to stay,” you whispered in his ear.

He pressed his lips to your ears, continuing to purr, as he said, “They tried to hide their king's spouse from him. They must face some sort of punishment.”

“Mal,” you said firmly, gently pulling far enough back that you could look in his eyes. “They weren't hiding me. They were about to tell you where I was.”

A lie. But the only way to keep the people in that building safe.

“I shall spare them then,” he hummed. 

The change was instant. A flicker in his eyes that only you knew well enough to pick up on.

“Lilia, please escort my son home,” he ordered, his eyes not leaving yours as you felt the boy wrenched from your arms. Immediately, Malleus' grip shifted to your arm, and he dragged you along with him, straight into a glowing green portal…

Which led to a tower you recognized.

“Wait, no, no, I'm sorry-”

“If I don't punish you, how will you ever learn?” He waved his staff, summoning a stone table.

“Mal, please, our son-”

“You don't love him, but this will teach you to.”

“I do so love him!”

“Then you wouldn't have broken his family,” he said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

There was nowhere to run in the windowless tower, but you knew what came next. So you tried to yank yourself out of his grip, even if it was fruitless.

“What if he doesn't live another hundred years?” You cried as he wrestled you onto the table.

“He will. He has his father's blood.”

At least he admitted it. 

His hand covered your eyes, a green glow beginning to fill your vision.

“He won't remember me,” you pleaded as your body began to grow numb.

“I'll ensure he does.”

You drifted off, falling into dreams designed to “open your heart.” Dreams where the three of you lived happily.

After another hundred years of that, surely you'd become the well behaved spouse he needed. And if not, he had a hundred more years to spend on you. And one day? One day his perfect family would be a reality.

You were elbows deep in another explosion your son had caused through his “science experiments” when you heard a knock on the door.

You blew a hair out of your face, before turning to your son.

“Can you get that, baby?” 

He nodded quickly, happy to do anything to lower his punishment. You dug through some more goo (you didn't want to know what exactly he made) and finally found the bathtub drain. You pulled the plug and…

Nothing.

You groaned. Guess you had to clean it the hard way. Again.

You heard excited noises from the front door, and smiled softly. Your son's partner was prone to making surprise visits, so you figured he was telling them all about his latest explosion. Young love was cute. You hoped it stayed that way.

You pulled your goo covered arms out of the bathtub, and pulled over the bucket that had seen horrors. You began scooping handfuls into it, hoping that less goo would force the drain to go down, when your son came back to the door, looking ecstatic.

“Hey, um, there's someone here to see you.”

You smirked, and said, “Well, as you can see I'm a little busy. Tell them to wait.”

He shook his head vehemently.

“Uh uh, you gotta come see them now.”

The way he was bouncing up and down, it must have been Uncle Epel. He was the favorite Uncle, mainly because he always brought treats with him.

“Well, tell him if he wants to chat, he has to help me clean-”

No sooner had the words left your mouth when some familiar pink magic flew over your shoulder, and made the goo in the bath dissipate. You froze in your place, too scared to look.

“Easy peasy. Luckily I've had a lot of experience with kid's messes, fu fu.”

You were a coward, who was too scared to face fate. As though refusing to face it would mean it would never come up behind you, and wrap his arms around you, affectionately nuzzling your neck.

“How was your vacation?” Lilia hummed.

“That's my dad!” Your son interrupted, excitedly. “It all makes sense now! Why I look fae, why I'm so skilled at magic, why I have a hard time connecting with my peers…”

If Lilia was anyone else, you'd quickly explain it didn't make sense, it was just a sick coincidence. But with him wrapped around you like a python…

You weren't in a position to be dealing with broken ribs, again.

“Not only that, but you have a big brother!” Lilia said happily.

“I do!”

“He's probably downstairs waiting for you! Let's go!”

You couldn't blame your son for falling for Lilia's charms. You'd also made that mistake many years ago. Lilia excitedly took your hand, floating down the stairs while dragging you, your son behind you.

At the bottom of the steps was Silver, who was looking anywhere but at you. Lilia summoned a portal, and you were quickly pulled through it, followed by the two boys.

Your son stared in awe at the mansion that haunted your nightmares.

“We get to live here now?”

“Yes! I have a room all for you, Silver will show you the way, then he'll take you to get a new wardrobe.”

Your son took the stairs two at a time, then paused to look back at you, confused.

“Why haven't we been a family the entire time?”

You stiffened again, but Lilia was a wonderful actor.

“You see, your father is fae and loses track of time. I was supposed to come pick you up. I only just realized how much time passed. I'm so sorry.”

He turned to you, he laced his fingers through your hair, kissing you passionately. He pulled slightly away, whispering,

“Forgive me?”

In an attempt to ease whatever punishment was coming your way, you slowly nodded. You son beamed happily, then looked at you both.

“This is the best day ever! I can't wait to tell my partner!” He pulled out his phone, immediately beginning the call as he continued up the stairs.

“Well? Was that enough of a vacation for you?” Lilia asked coldly.

“How long-”

“Sevens, I knew where you were the whole time. Quite frankly, I'm insulted that you felt otherwise.”

He sounded genuinely insulted. Fuck.

“So…” you trailed off.

“I haven't decided what to do with you yet. You know how important you and my family are to me, yet you ran from me, and stole our son.” He grabbed you by the hair, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“But rest assured, if this happens again, I'll come up with a punishment that leans more…irreversible.”

“Y/N?” 

Fuck. You knew that soft voice. It had a slight tremble of disbelief and shock, so you weren't surprised when you felt a hand gently take your chin, and direct it to a pair of gorgeous auroral hues.

You had thought enough time would pass that you would be unfindable. So here you were, at a cafe with your teenage son, thinking you were safe. What a joke.

“Y/N, where have you been? I missed you.” 

You believed him. God, you wish you didn't, but you did. The problem with Silver was that he never knew what he did wrong. He didn't understand. To him, you just vanished one day, for no reason.

“Oh-” you started, but your son interrupted you.

“Hey, back off,” he said firmly, grabbing his table knife as though that would defend against Silver's sword fighting skills.

Or Lilia's anything, for that matter, as you realized he stood behind his son with a scary look in his eyes. A look you had experience with. A look that said, behave.

“S/N, don't,” you whispered, not daring to pull away from Silver.

“I'm not going to let him take you!” He stood from his seat, causing Silver's eyes to flicker over to him, and grow soft with fondness.

“You're all grown up!”

“Back off-”

“That's enough of that. I appreciate your loyalty, but it would be better suited elsewhere,” Lilia finally spoke, disarming your boy.

“Let go of me-”

“Father, please don't-”

“It's alright, Silver. I've raised two boys, I know how to handle a tantrum,” Lilia said lightly, pinning your son's arms to his sides. “As for you, young man, that's no way to speak to your father, or your grandfather.”

“We're not even related!” He shouted, and it was only then you realized the cafe was empty. They had planned this. Or, more accurately, Lilia had planned this, and probably surprised Silver.

“Enough. I'm putting you in timeout.”

He summoned a portal, and dragged your son towards it.

He turned back towards Silver with a firm look on his face, “Silver. Remember what I taught you.” And then he walked through the portal.

Silver held out a hand for you, and you swallowed your bile as you took it. You walked through the portal together, and found yourself in Silver’s room in the Castle in the Valley of Thorns.

He released your hand, dissipated the portal, and went to lock the door. You took the opportunity to sit on the bed.

Silver sighed as he stared at the floor.

“Father says that if I want to keep you in my life, I have to be more firm.”

He looked back up at you, something new swimming in his eyes. Something that frightened you.

“I don't want to hurt you. But today, seeing you for the first time in so long, I realized he was right.”

The frightening look wavered for a moment, as he said, “Why did you make my son hate me? Do you not think I'd be a good father?”

You sighed, remembering how easy it was to fall prey to Silver's everything. “If it were just you I had to worry about, I know you'd be a great father.”

“Then why…” the look cemented back into frightening again, and he stood stiffly, like a general deciding whether to spare an enemy soldier.

“I've given you a good life, a husband, and a family, but you are taking it for granted. You need to learn to appreciate what you have.”

That was all Lilia. Maybe if you had run away with Silver, you might have saved the last embers of your love for him. But then you might also be killed.

“I have arranged a cell in the dungeon for you. It's comfortable, but isolated. You will stay there until you learn your place.”

You fought to escape his grip as he dragged you down the stairs, pleading with him to see reason. But it was too late, and when the door was latched behind you, you couldn't help but wish you'd thought to try things differently.

You couldn't imagine how it took so long for him to find you. But as you and your son ran in the night, you wished it had been longer.

Ten minutes prior, you'd gotten a call from a wheezing voice you almost didn't recognize.

“Sebek…he…he's coming.”

“Lilia? What are you talking about? Where did you get my number?”

You heard a hard cough, followed by a tired laugh. “Who did you think was your fairy godmother? Run Y/N.”

The call hung up, and you grabbed a bag to start packing, only to hear a loud bang as your front door splintered. Your son had wanted to fight him off, but bless his heart he'd never win. So you'd both escaped out a window and ran.

You knew he was much too fast for you, but your son was fae as well, so he had a chance of getting away. And if you could just wear Sebek out…

You screamed out in pain as you felt something pierce you from behind.

You collapsed to your knees, staring down at the sword poking through your chest.

“No!” Your son screamed, and you choked back the pain long enough to say, “keep running!”

He looked at you regretfully, then angrily stared at something over your shoulder.

“I'll kill you!” He shouted, before running off, and disappearing down an alley.

You swayed from the position on your knees, your vision growing spotty. You turned over your shoulder, vaguely aware of a green haired man staring at you in shock.

Oh. That was Sebek! You had a date today, right? You didn't feel so good though, so maybe you should tell him you had to cancel.

“I… I didn't mean to,” he cried shakily, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks. You collapsed again, this time not having the strength to get off your side. He knelt next to you, and felt a sharp pain from something pulling. He laid you on your back, and pressed his hands to your chest, muttering something you couldn't quite hear. His voice sounded like water, moving in and out of your ears.

“Y/N…..don…please…I”

You nodded like you understood. 

His hands came to cup your face. It must be raining, because his hands were all wet. You'd have to make sure Grim remembered to grab an umbrella before class.

You slowly lifted your hand to cup Sebek 's hands that were clutching your face. His cheeks were covered in raindrops, and he seemed to be trying to tell you something important. But you were so tired, it was hard to keep your eyes open.

You had a final moment of clarity, where you stared at Sebek 's broken face, and felt momentary pity for him. But maybe this would teach him something that he would never forget over the course of his long life.

And you thought of your wonderful son escaping this creature, and the black finally completely took your vision.

[avatarkv]

EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED. (3)

Synopsis ! Jake had taken you as his own after Tsu'tey's passing, leaving no one to care for you. Things had been good before your relationship with him had blurred along growing of age. You and him fought all the time; argued each other's ear off and tonight was no different-- except words have been said, severing the already damaged bond. Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader.(wc: 5211)

“You will make a good olo’eyktan.” 

Jake snorted, downing the last dregs of amber liquid from his worn wooden glass. He shook his head in amusement as he put it down on his lap– It must be the alcohol speaking, he thought to himself. Tsu’tey had been speaking vaguely; roughly in between asking where his loyalty lies and if he was willing to stay for the people. To say Jake was confused was an understandment, and he wasn’t a brick of a wall to not feel that something was wrong. 

“Don’t you mean would?” He asked, refilling his cup. “I would make a good olo’eyktan. A possibility.” 

Tsu'tey's merely shook his head as he finished his beverage, letting a few drops of liquid trickle down his chin. He didn’t bother to wipe it away, gaze far into the crowd of young warriors celebrating themselves. The festivity had gathered everyone and his eyes darted constantly to his lover– the one who rightfully had this heart.

And that was something Jake had noticed about Tsu’tey tonight, he realized. Tsu'tey was never truly looking at him. Although he had only spoken to him on this particular night, his eyes never once met Jake’s; it seemed as though he was constantly searching for something else– someone. 

Could it be Neytiri? His heart seized as the thought crossed his mind. He was selfish. Eywa knows just how impure his soul is; how cruel he is to love a promised woman. 

“What is that human word you use when you have not been truthful?” 

One of the things he became aware of as he continued to learn life in Pandora was that the Na’vi didn't recognize or understand the concept of lying; there wasn't even a word in their language for it. It was a revelation for him, that such an integral part of his motherland - dishonesty and deception - was nonexistent here. He feared he would be the one to taint their morals, to be the example to its definition. 

Jake was a liar. 

“You mean lie?” 

Tsu’tey nodded. “I fear I have done such a thing.” 

Jake furrowed his eyebrows, narrowing his eyes in thought, but he couldn’t bring himself to pry– not when his eyes seemed distant once more. He thought he looked at Neytiri, but standing beyond her was the figure his eyes desperately sought. Tsi’ewa looked like a vision in the firelight, her every gracefully swaying movement becoming alive in the mesmerizing glow of the large bonfire.

And she was just there– how could she sit there and laugh and look so beautiful?

Jake puts an awkward hand to his shoulders, attempting to comfort him with a pat. “Eywa will forgive you– whatever you did.” 

But Tsu’tey only shook his head again. His steady hand made quick work of refilling his cup to the brim once more, as if he was trying to drown out the rising truth that was spiraling from his stomach. He paused for a moment before lifting it up to meet his lips, “No. She would have to ask for my forgiveness instead.”

“We must tell the people now.” 

They continued to walk aimlessly, steps wide and quick. The night had seemingly stretched on for hours since the gathering had ended, and they were growing ever more irritable– both bodies awash with alcohol and both minds clouded with judgment. “Your thoughts are muddled, Tsu’tey. You’ve had a bit too much to drink.” She said in a dismissive tone, making it clear that she didn't want to discuss the topic further. Tsi’ewa was nothing but distant— tonight where Tsu’tey felt most painfully vulnerable. 

“I can think just fine, Tsi’ewa.” He carefully takes her arm, steering her to face him. “We have to tell the people now.” 

“And risk your place in the clan?” She quickly swats his hand away, her face twisted with a troubled expression. “I will not let you ruin your name.” 

They finally stand still, exhausted— bodies glistening in sweat. Tsi’ewa frantically looked around, perhaps for something to hurl or something to tightly squeeze'; anything to relieve the knot that churned deeply inside her stomach. Letting out another lengthy sigh, she finally looks at Tsu’tey. “I am but a songstress, Tsu’tey! Someone who people wouldn’t care enough to give two glances.” 

“And why do they matter?” He replied in the same tone, just as defeated as she was.

“Because I am nothing. I am unheard, I am not seen– but you. You are to become leader. The people need you, Tsu’tey.” She steps in closer, just enough to feel his warm breath fanning over her face. Her finger digs into his chest as she speaks, pressing harder with each word that spills from her mouth. “You have to choose.” 

“I do not have to. It is you who I want.” He answers, almost casually– like he had lost a screw or two to trade such a title for something so miniscule. Tsi'ewa releases a frustrated sigh, her posture wilting in defeat.

“You are being stubborn!” 

“And you think too low of yourself!”  

Silence envelopes their heaving bodies once more. He takes a deep breath before speaking, “I am unhappy with the union– it is against my will and most especially my heart. Do not make me choose the people.”

He finds promise in the crooks of her body, the warmth of her palms; a place of sanctity he wouldn’t mind kneeling to for hours. It was the kind of romance so tender, it would dissolve right on his tongue the moment he would consume it– he just knew he would love her for a very long time. Tsu’tey would let his title be damned if it meant having her for eternity. 

“We will be miserable.” She whispers. 

“Only if you push me away.” He answers. 

Who knew Tsu’tey was quite the romantic? Well– people would’ve known if they had given him the chance to truly love. The day he died, Tsi’ewa knew her heart was buried along with his. 

The flickering firelight created a somber ambience as Jake sat motionless, lost in thought. The dancing shadows casted by its light created an indescribable feeling of unease– an overwhelming weight of dread settling on his shoulders. His mind raced endlessly, thoughts clamouring in his head to be brought to the forefront. 

The clan– the people. His family. Himself. Deafening, deafening sound.

Quartich was back and he had to think fast. Sure, they were far from where the old shack is, but it wouldn’t be long until they were eventually found. The thought strikes an indescribable fear, reeling him in and getting the best of him. 

To say Jake was tired was an understatement. 

Tired is a word used to describe how one feels after a busy day; one that promises a better tomorrow– a green light that lets you go ahead and continue once more. He fears this is more than just casual exhaustion, but something that threatens to bury him six feet under.

And then there was you; a particular voice desperate for a minute of his time. He hears your voice, even in mind. His stubborn eldest. You might as well be the reason for why his hair is turning white so early. He thought it was just a phase– he thought that every child would eventually grow out of their angsty-teenager stage. Heck, he went through one back on earth. Jake was once a little boy too, he’d know. 

But as time stretched on, he realized that your actions had rooted from actual hurt and not just some juncture in life. When you said you hated him, you actually did. When you said he was being a shit father, he actually was. He made you feel that way. 

Jake wonders when it happened– what had slipped through his fingers for everything to become so messy. He swears he hears you as much as you don’t think he isn’t listening. 

You’d make a great olo’eykte. He knows it. Somewhere along that line frightens him– makes him terribly uneasy. He doesn’t mean to tell you otherwise, but in his eyes, you will always be his little girl; the same kid who cried to him once because everyone had been too mean. Jake would burn the whole world if he had to; shed blood if it meant your safety. 

Being a clan leader meant exactly that. He knew you’d do everything to ensure everyone’s safety, even if it meant your life. Jake wasn’t ready for that– he wasn’t ready to hear that his little girl was capable enough to not need him. 

He wished he’d rather made that clear instead of severing your already strained bond. The gulf between you two has grown too wide for him to bridge the gap, and it's slowly eating away at him. 

There was just something so complicated between a father and a daughter’s relationship– a kind of complication that neither of you could tell what you really meant. He wishes he could understand you; take away the troubles that made you restless. Maybe then, your eyes wouldn’t feel so distant– maybe then, you wouldn’t look at him like he wasn’t your own dad. 

He numbly reaches for the machine gun– its surface still emanating heat from its earlier use. He can feel its weight in his grasp, a firm reminder of the violence that had just transpired. He clenches it in his hands, his sweaty palms pressing against its hard surface in an almost comforting way. 

“The children are fine and taken care of,” Neytiri gently announced as to not worry her already troubled mate. “Your mind is clouded, ma Jake, tell me about it. ” 

“Just thinking,” Neytiri sat in front of him, allowing the silence to linger for a moment longer while she awaited his response. “That maybe Tsu’tey had been hinting at his relationship with Tsi’ewa for much longer than we thought.” 

That wasn’t at all what her mate had expected him to say, thinking that he would likely talk about what had happened back at the old shack. The wrinkle between her eyes deepened as she questioned aloud, "Why is this being brought up now?" 

Jake released a lengthy exhale as he released the empty shell from his gun, letting it amble towards the fire pit. “Maybe I could have done something to save him from dying a warrior’s death so soon.” 

Neytiri straightened her leaning posture, clicking her tongue. “This isn’t about Tsu’tey, is it?” The way Jake's reaction was almost too subtle to notice only solidified her suspicions. His posture seemed to slightly change, his shoulders stiffening ever-so-slightly as if he was attempting to contain the emotions running just beneath the surface. “It’s about y/n.”

“Always about that daughter of ours.” He attempted to make light of the situation, stifling a chuckle. This demeanor was a thin veil for the obvious elephant in the room and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to make it known just yet.  “Hard headed and snobby, just like Tsu’tey.” 

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she got it from you instead?” Neytiri narrowed her eyes at him, mouth twisted in a slight scowl. When Jake only released a snort in reply, his gaze still fixated on the machine gun, she lightly swatted him on the nape of his neck with a hiss. “You are too hard on her– on everyone! Don’t you think that you’re being too harsh on them?” 

Jake winces before replying, voice firm and just as loud. “I am only doing what I can to protect everyone.” He flails his arms around, trying to emphasize his words. “Everything that I do is for them. You think I enjoy being like this? Being the mean parent?”

“Then stop!” 

Jake let his long fingers run through his hair, slightly tugging at the braids in exasperation. His eyes closed for a fleeting moment as he drew in a sharp breath, attempting to compose himself. “It’s not that easy, Neytiri. They had their knives right under our children’s necks– I’m only trying to keep this family alive and together.” 

“By pushing everyone away? By telling your eldest that she isn’t enough? Listen to what you’re saying, Jake! You aren’t hearing yourself!” Neytiri presses a finger into his chest. “This isn’t about war– it wasn’t always about fighting. It’s about you and the children.” 

Everyone falls silent, letting the weight of their words settle in the air. The only sound is that of the distant fire crackling, filling in the otherwise unbearable quiet. They took in each other’s heaving figures, eyes softening in mutual understanding. 

“You’re scared you’re going to fail her like you think you did with Tsu’tey.” Neytiri whispers softly this time. Jake’s ears flatten in response– stiff shoulders slumping in defeat. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Neytiri.” 

“Oh please– you are never this rough with Kiri and Tuk. Y/n is your daughter too, so why does she have to be on the receiving end of such hard affection?” She lets out an agitated scoff,   “You do not hear her, ma Jake. When she shouts, she does not call for Toruk Makto– ma’ite does not challenge the olo’eyktan. She yearns for just you, her father.”

And that was Neytiri for you; ever the wiser one. She always knew what to say. Jake looks at him with such tenderness– an admiration that was strikingly reminiscent of the first time he ever saw her. 

“You fathers always do not know what to feel– what to say. So you tend to be less understanding, because in that way, less words are spoken. Silence is better than talking it out, yes? Ma’sempul was the same. Only when he died did I realize– but will you take it to your grave before you let her know that she is loved?” 

A daughter is only a daughter once, not until you make her forget. 

“Make her understand. Your intentions are fair, but your ways are ill— they are ill, Jake.” Neytiri's words stung like a slap in the face, she might as well strike him straight to the chest. It rendered him speechless, yet he knew something shifted— and for the better. “She is your daughter. Not Tsu’tey’s.”

His daughter. 

“Am I a bad father, Neytiri?” His voice had cracked and she swore she could hear the faint breaking of his already fragile heart. The realization slowly seeped into the wrinkles of his weary face, accentuating the creases from fatherhood itself. He failed everyone and he knew it. He always thought his actions were justified– but it was the consequences that struck him the most: He didn’t know Neteyam’s favorite color, but he knew how odd he held his bow. 

He didn’t know his children.

“No, just misguided.” Slowly, Neytiri cautiously wraps her arms around his rigid form. She can feel the warmth of his skin against her face as she nestles her head into the crook of his neck. She swears he could hear the rapid beat of his heart and it pounds in sync with hers– they were both lost and terribly exhausted. “I know earth did not allow you to be soft, but you’re not alone anymore. Put your burdens at ease, ma Jake.” 

Jake returns her embrace, squeezing her body softly. He allows himself to bask in the moment of stillness, taking in the sweet smell of her hair and skin. With a shaky exhale, he attempts to savor the fleeting peace before it's gone. When did everything become so difficult?

After a while, Neytiri finally stands, feeling the exhaustion of all she has endured today seeping into every fibre of her body. “The children are staying over at Mo’at’s for tonight.” 

She stands there, lingering for a moment before finally turning to leave. “Just talk to her, Jake.” 

And there he was, alone with nothing but the warm glow of the flickering fire to accompany him once again. 

Fruits. You love fruits, he thinks. 

Perhaps you didn’t get the memo that everyone was staying over at your grandma’s for the night; perhaps you were waiting for him to come home too. He carefully sliced the yovo fruits, placing them a bit too delicately on the bark bowl. 

Jake was undeniably nervous. His own teenage daughter made him nervous.

As he slowly trudged towards the hut, his toe lurched into one of the wicker chairs– a loud string of curses exploded from his lips as he clamped his eyes shut in frustration. Through gritted teeth, he peered down to the seat. immediately noticing its snapped leg which seemed to mock him for his carelessness. He exhaled deeply. crouching down to take a closer look.

Funny enough, it was yours– your name glaring right back at him.

If there was something that he learned best back on earth, it was to be handy— good with his hands. (well, considering the lack of legs, he had to make use of thereof.) He thought he had cracked the code back then; giving everyone gifts and crafting whatever they pleased. Jake failed to realize that it was not more toys the children wanted– it was him. Just him.

"Listen, I'm sorry," Jake visibly winces at his poor attempt at an apology. He takes a pause, deciding on the right words to say before continuing, “Let’s talk about it, kid– promise not to raise my voice." He waits for her response but only silence greets him in return. He releases a deep sigh and mumbles under his breath, “-- or maybe not. This is fine." He carefully slides in the bowl of freshly cut fruits under the flap of the hut after taking a few moments to rest against its wooden walls. He looks around, his eyes wandering everywhere, “You listening?” He waits again, “Your father– he was a good man. A very good man, in fact."

“Neytiri was promised to him and he was to become the olo’eyktan. I was only an outsider; barged in and made a mess of an already good clan.” he reminisced, “He had every right to view me as a threat– heck, he could’ve even greeted my approach with a spear right to the chest the moment I arrived. He didn’t. No one did.” 

“I’m thankful for that. Everything I have now is because of him.” He looks back at the entrance, hoping for even a flicker of light being lit by you– he thought maybe you were also leaning against the wall that separates you both. “I was wrong. Your father was far more than enough, and of all people, I should have known that better– should have known better than to talk shit about him to his very daughter.” 

He exhales a deep, heavy sigh for what feels like the hundredth time, his frustration evident as he rubs the back of his neck anxiously. “Look, what I’m trying to say is. I miss you, sweetheart. I’m growing old– and while you aren’t getting any younger either, I want you to understand that when I shout, it means I want you to listen. When I push you to your limits, I only want you to do your best.” 

He looked back at all the times where you and him argued– when he thought what he was doing was right. Jake wondered if he pushed you away everytime he raised his voice. He probably did.  

“Well– raising my voice probably never worked because you always shouted back.” he says, shaking his head with a snort of laughter. No matter how loud either of them got, the other always managed to raise their voice even higher. “Time is fucking with me– you all are growing so fast. One second I’m snuggling with everyone in the same hammock and then all of a sudden I find myself making everyone a separate one because we’re all too big now.” 

He grows quiet, a lump welling up in his throat that renders him speechless. “I’m not olo’eyktan– I’m no Toruk Makto. I’m just a father, baby. And I think that’s the most vulnerable I’ll ever be.” 

“Never wanted any of you to fight. Never wanted to put everyone on the line for war–” Another breathy exhale, “I was scared. Fine, there it is, out in the open. My star failed me, sweet girl. I know how humans worked back there and they worked ruthlessly. We killed our own land– our own mothers.” 

His stomach would lurch at the thought of it, an overwhelming pang of nausea stirring within him. Jake could barely survive back there– he truly was lucky to be chosen by Eywa. He could already be dead if not the past occurrences for all he knows. 

“I wasn’t allowed to be gentle back then and I’m glad eywa is a lot more merciful here.” He looks up, staring at the starry sky. Earth had taken too much from him and ironically, it was also humans who kept ruining him here in Pandora too. Jake was always one step behind no matter how hard he tried. “But you got to give me a bit of recognition here, baby girl, I'm trying. I didn’t automatically become a father after having children. I think I’m forever learning. I still have a lot to go.” 

“I did what I thought was right; I had to ensure that my family was safe, no matter the cost, and I didn’t even realize I put a damn war over everyone’s head. Sweetheart, I never wanted any of you to fight– I never wanted to put everyone on the line to battle. I would never wish for anyone to experience what I went through back on earth and funny enough, I brought it right to our doorstep.” And he felt his voice break as words tumbled out of his mouth in an incoherent pace, desperately trying to release all these emotions that had been clogging up his throat. He brought a hand roughly to his face in an effort to hold himself together, fingernails digging lightly into the delicate skin around his eyes. “I’m scared, babygirl.”

“Eywa was kind enough to give me children in the image of people I’ve already lost; Tsu’tey, Grace– hell, I even see Tommy on Lo’ak. That knucklehead is just too curious for his own good.” He didn’t know if it was a curse rather than a gift; every corner of his house was haunted and grief had made a home right on his very lungs. 

He looks back at the flap of the hut and still no sign of you– even the bowl of fruits was left untouched. “Tough crowd.” He murmurs to himself before finally deciding to stand, his legs stiff from sitting still for too long. He awkwardly pats his thighs, shaking away the dust he collected. “Everyone is staying over at Mo’at’s. You can have the hut to yourself for the night.”

Space. Maybe you needed space.  (And he was terribly wrong. Space was all that remained between you two.)

Jake starts to slowly walk away, yet somehow he feels like his troubles remain firmly on his shoulders. The guilt was there— all of it. He looks back one last time, praying. Eywa, give me one last chance. Let my daughter come running to me in an embrace and I’ll swallow my pride. 

Nothing.

He felt his heart slowly breaking, the pieces of it slipping lower and lower down his stomach with every passing second. His mind was a mess; he could feel all his doubts and insecurities swirling about inside his body, each one vying for center stage. I am no better than my own father. I am no better than my own father. I am no better than my own father.

Unbeknownst to him, you were never in the hut to begin with. It was sick– such a cruel joke for the words you’ve been desperate to hear to be left unheard. 

“Give me strength, dear mother. Tell me what I’m doing is just.” 

You were kneeling on the damp, mossy ground close to the roots of the tree of souls, your hands tightly gripping onto your queue. The thick foliage that surrounded you was awash with the lavender hue that emitted from the vine-like leaves, lending you warmth from the chill eclipse. Woodsprites floated nearby, swaying close as if to welcome your presence. 

Inching closer, you stretch out your arm before allowing the tendrils of your braid to coil around the hanging threads. Taking a deep breath, you let yourself feel– taking in the presence of Eywa. 

Your mind was clouded. Once a dark space turned into something light– too light, it was almost blinding. Everything was blurry, almost like a dream, but you knew it wasn’t; knew well where you stood and why you were here to begin with. 

Slowly, a vision emerges - a woman standing just a few paces from you. She feels something in the air and her ears perk up, as if she is trying to figure out the space she’s in too. Her head turns from each corner, cautiously checking the blurry surroundings. After a few moments of searching for something visible to the eye, she turns and finally spots you. A sudden shock passes through her body, evident by the way her eyes widen in surprise. She stands there for what seems like eternity, you can almost see the gears starting to move and click within her mind.

“Oh, my sweet child–” 

She reaches out to envelop you in an embrace, but you take a step back in response. Her arms remain open– still hopeful that you’d run to her like how a child would to her mom, but you were just there, staring incredulously. 

“I don’t know who you are.” 

This couldn’t be Eywa. You would’ve known. 

You two stood still, eyes drawing over each other’s lines and curves, trying to etch it in memory– then it dawned to you– could this be your mother? 

“I knew Tsu’tey had the stronger genes, I just didn’t expect him to take up most of the space in your face.” She lets out a breathy chuckle, “Come close, child, let me see you.” 

And you shouldn’t.  You haven’t seen this woman all your life nor did the people provide enough stories about her. She was nothing but the person who had birthed and given you life– that should’ve been enough for you to run straight towards her, but you stood there, gulping down a familiar grief. 

It’s weird for mothers and daughters to just coexist like she had not brought you upon the world at all. Sure, you have her eyes and you might grow to have her exact physique, but the word ma’ite sounded distant on her tongue– cold and unloving. Her arms weren’t inviting. 

This wasn’t your mother. Mothers are kind and warm, like Neytiri.

Your legs moved forward in a hesitant pace, as if you were being pushed against your will. You stood closer, enough to let her cup your face. She lets out a choked sob– or was it laughter? You couldn’t follow. She lets her thumb mindlessly brush against your soft cheeks, eyes filled with so much love, you feared it would be too heavy. That love was reserved for you and only you– for all the ages you’d grow to be.

But all energy is borrowed. She has been carrying this longing tenderness for years in the afterlife. 

You had Tsu’tey’s eyes, his lips. She’d argue that the nose is debatable, but surely if you rip open your heart, you’d find your mother’s own. Sweet, sweet child, forced to grow up too quickly. Tsi’ewa was sure you’d be the kindest soul. 

You ponder deeply– what kind of life would your mother have had if you had never been born at all? Would she still be here, with all her vitality and vigor, relishing in the gift of her youthful years? Would she perform to the children, singing them lullabies they drift off into a peaceful sleep? The thought causes you profound anguish– your mother was just like you; full of life and once was a little girl too.

You wish you knew her enough to let the grief prolong.

“Time has been unkind to you,” She said softly, her fingers tenderly sweeping the loose strands of hair away from your face.

“You are not my mother.” 

“I know.” She replies. Tsi’ewa doesn’t take it to heart how harsh your responses have been– you were just her little girl, lost and terribly misguided. “For all we know, I’ve only been one to you right now, so just this once– let my words bear meaning.” 

You chose to wait; giving her the opportunity to slowly get acquainted with you, taking in every little detail of your face - from the stars of moles to the creases around your eyes. You were patient with her, allowing her to digest all that made you who you are – beyond just looks. She was just a mourning mother that grieved her little girl. 

“You do not have to stay.” She whispers and her words hit a little too close to home, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut and suppress a sob. “A boy would be Olo’eykte of the Omatikaya– but you, ma’ite, shall be mine.”

As the words slipped her mouth, you had finally granted her an embrace. You swear you had felt yourself turn smaller. Your head rests against her stomach, letting your ear listen for whatever you might hear. This is where you came from, you thought. Who knew a mother could bear a stranger? She clings to you with a desperate grip, preventing you from falling apart— as if it's her own way of trying to hold you together. 

Just a bit more, Eywa. She begged. Give me a minute more to hold my girl.

I wish you’d give birth to me again, you cried, maybe then I’ll turn into something better. 

You open your eyes, feeling beads of tears roll down your face. You mindlessly wipe them away, not truly grasping what had transpired or how the weight on your shoulders lightened. Woodsprites quickly flutter away once you regain consciousness. Your head shoots up, and a silent thank you escapes your lips as you bask in the warm glow of the light that touches your face.

Forgive me Eywa for leaving. Your ikran lets out a sharp shriek as you climb onto her back, taking steady steps up her body while gently caressing her back. The animal quiets down at your touch, eager to fly once more. 

A heart is meant to be cupped by unscathed hands and if you cannot find palms big enough for yours, then you fear home is somewhere else.

finally posted a new chapter, how is everyone doing ! i honestly don't know what to feel about this part just yet, but i had to write through a writer's block so it might be ass. had to fight it or else i'd be stuck in a rut on god

very important ! i've decided not to take any more tags ;( i'm really sorry, but they take up most of my time and it bugs my posts because it only lets me tag to an extent? so if your name isn't mentioned, do know that i had to take out a few (or because your user didn't pop up when i tried) please turn on your notifications instead ;(

already proofread but please don't be hesitant to point out mistakes, i tend to be blind when it comes to editing teehee i listened to jacob and the stone by emile mosseri while writing this so you might want to do so too to set the mood !

love everyone so bad, thank you for being patient w me. smooch !

tags: @reyalvr @sparklyphantom @iwanttohitmyself @planetslove @teyamsjustsleeping @sully-stick-together @grandgreengrapes @erensbbg @queen-dk @loaklvr @theyoungeagle @ducks118 @teyyyteyyy @yeosxxx @simply-lovely78 @ellabellabus07 @thehoneymushroomhealer @saturdayrj @kingjulian0o9 @hippiezworldz @joemamalackin @random-3455 @zoetrope1997 @cl0esblogg @anxietydrogz @lokisfirstandlastwife @lunyyx @blkmystery @marsbars09 @gcldtom @luna-salem @wolflover384 @mushy-mushroom04 @whatthemonsterfuckisthis @eternalidentity @celi-xxmoon @dumb-fawkin-bitch @pinkeroppi @mellowdiy @jimfiqs @ell0ra-br3kk3r @ayra2452008 @vodoo-heart @rose-brulante @starxao @bluevenus19 @entertain-my-lvst @wwwellacom

[bbanghiitomi]

BORROWED TIME

pairing: idol!khaerin x nj6thmem!fem!reader

trope: first love! angst with comfort! eventual fluff!

haerin sighed for the thousandth time, she realized just how tiring it was to keep sighing - ridiculous, haerin thought as she stared at herself at the mirror. how weird has this day been? she doesn't know, it's always been weird ever since y/n came back from the hospital, the doctors said she was fine, the blow she got on her head when she had an accident during one of their intensive trainings didn't physically damage her. to haerin, it was kind of hard to believe, how could such a huge blow not do any damage? it had to hurt so much, right?

oh well, y/n's charts that her physician provided didn't seem to show any anomalies...

she told herself not to think too much about it, but that's what haerin does best. she can't stop thinking about y/n, she stayed at the hospital for almost 3 months, hell, it was the worst accident that ever happened to their group; haerin remembered how terrible that night was, everyone was crying and worried sick, y/n fell on the floor and hit her head pretty hard on the ground.

but she survived, haerin hated to say this but it was even a miracle y/n survived, the blow was so hard that it could have shaken her brain and damaged it but her charts didn't show any problem in her brain.

till now, she seemed fine.

maybe she knew y/n more than anyone else but, it doesn't stop bothering her, even tonight.

"excuse me." y/n's voice echoed inside the bathroom, she walked her way towards the sink and stood beside haerin to brush her teeth, haerin stared at the girl and watched as the girl brushed her teeth.

"hey, today's the start of our filming... there's nothing wrong that can happen, right?" this has been occurring in the past few weeks since y/n came back from the hospital, haerin was glad for her to be back but it felt different.

y/n can't seem to recognize haerin's voice, she was functioning like an idol, she can dance to beat, hit the right notes, and act like her usual self but the least y/n thing to do is not respond immediately to what haerin was telling her, it felt weird.

y/n turned around to look at haerin and gave her a soft smile. "don't worry." just like that, haerin doesn't understand the sudden shift in her responses, she's the same way with the other members.

there were times were y/n took a few seconds to reply to the members, often times it felt like she couldn't recognize who is who.

but how?

haerin has no logical explanation, y/n's condition was beyond words, it was hard to explain, she didn't lose memories no, she could tell her members name, she knows what her life was once before the incident but it felt like a part of y/n was missing, barely holding on.

if haerin was to explain this to people, they'd think she's insane.

y/n left the bathroom and haerin, the girl frowned, damned and confused.

it's not like haerin has the sharpest eyes amongst everyone, literally, the shape of her eyes were sharp, but the way she see things weren't always as accurate as it is. but when she stared at y/n during their shooting, in the house where the light was shining upon y/n's face, she knew she had to get these feelings out soon.

y/n was silent, she turned to haerin and gave haerin a small smile. "it's hot isn't it? i didn't want to go to the convenience store with the others cause i knew you'd stay." y/n is still y/n, her memories are well intact, she knows haerin and everything about her.

maybe it's time for haerin to stop thinking too much.

what was that feeling? haerin blinked her eyes and stared at y/n. "i'm glad you're okay." haerin muttered, y/n nodded.

y/n felt bad, just how long does she need to hide this? she knew haerin was catching up to her, y/n knew how rare her cognitive disorder were from the force she got during the incident; she was scared they'd turn her into a lab rat.

that night, when she opened her eyes again, she could barely tell who was who, she knew her members' names but she couldn't recognize their faces as familiar. now, y/n is scared to close her eyes, because when she does, haerin's face fades away...

that same night, haerin didn't speak while everyone did, y/n couldn't remember what her voices sounded like, even now, whenever she's away from haerin, she can't recognize her voice.

in her three months inside the hospital, it felt like hell, her tactile sense was impaired, her auditory sensory too, and even her visual sensory was beyond repair; somehow y/n knew it was hard to explain her condition.

but there was hope, obviously, she really wasn't all that crippled, to y/n, it was just a side effect, yet it's hard to deal with but it was the best outcome out of all. who knows? if she wasn't lucky enough to survive that accident, she would've been dead by now.

yet, she is alive. y/n has to accept that she will live her upcoming years dealing with the anguish that her condition will bring her, it was hard to keep hiding but it was for the best.

y/n looked at haerin. "i promise, i'll always be okay." haerin looked down, it had to be the truth, right? perhaps, their perspective on that promise were different, y/n can only guarantee that everything haerin saw in her was okay, but haerin wanted to know deeper.

the girls came back with snacks, a cold soda, and some breads. y/n turned her head away as hanni cheered, y/n can't tell who was that, every now and then, she kept forgetting the girls' facial features, except for their hair and clothes.

hanni has a short hair in this filming, so it was easy to distinguish her from everyone else, the same with danielle with her curly hair.

y/n is only happy she picks up on it quickly without them noticing.

one day, she'll have to stop playing pretend and come in terms with her reality.

"you want bread?" hanni asked y/n, to which she nodded and smiled. "of course." she beamed at hanni and grabbed the bread.

ah, y/n couldn't tell if this bread was heavy or not.

"it's so soft!" danielle smiled, haerin watched y/n as she looked over the members with a smile. yeah, haerin hated herself for always thinking twice.

both her and y/n needed to make up their mind, find a place where they want their minds to reside, they can't keep going off anywhere.

y/n can't tell what texture this bread had, is it smooth or rough? soft or tough?

her disorder limited her performance in identifying most objects.

the whole filming felt natural, well, it was a tough job but overall, y/n managed to keep up quite well. she was happy to be given this chance to continue with newjeans, she promised herself nothing was limiting her from doing something she loved and being with the people she cares for.

ah, it was another one of those nights again when y/n is in her bed and crying; she can't feel her face, it's been numb and tired.

why does she feel like this?

it's horrible...

why can't she just be honest with what she feels? why does she have to suffer?

it's scary, she can't recognize haerin's voice, her members' face were out of the picture. once again, even for only a short amount of time, they felt like strangers to her.

she needed help and if she can't get it, her cognitive disorder will destroy her whole being, something worse than a nightmare, is her confusion, a poison was the truth.

there's no certain cure for agnosia, maybe it was a bad idea for her to surf the internet for an answer, it must be just anxiety, yeah - she's probably just worrying too much.

y/n sighed, the truth was a pill she couldn't swallow, necessary but felt like a punch on the gut, denial was her only answer, tonight, she wants to still her resolve to face her contests.

haerin heard faint sobbing as she leaned her ears on the door, she sighed, it's one of those nights again. haerin wanted to know what was putting y/n into these kinds of situations, crying herself to sleep until the time burns out and she's left to keeping herself awake till the next day.

haerin knows y/n and her have a connection only they can understand, it was some kind of feelings that both they shared and individually had. something that's hurting y/n is hurting haerin too. haerin knocked on the door. "y/n? are you okay? this is haerin."

y/n rose from her bed and wiped her tears, it's haerin, she knew only because haerin revealed herself.

"come in..." y/n faint voice made haerin's heart skip a beat.

when haerin opened the door, she caught a glimpse of y/n's back, haerin curled her brows but only for a few seconds as she gathered her courage.

"i could hear your sobs you know? what's bothering you?" there was no point with hiding, y/n looked at haerin, the swollen eyes caught the cat-like girl off guard, she sighed and sat on the other edge of the bed, their backs facing each other.

"a lot..." y/n muttered, haerin nodded.

"i guessed it, want to share it?" haerin's offer sounded tempting at the moment, y/n felt like it made sense if she finally came to agreement about what she felt, she'd be able to understand haerin more and get the heavy feelings off of her chest.

"it feels a little heavy for me to share... but i guessed it's you so..." y/n shifts her posture as she turned a bit to face haerin's back, she had a small sheepish smile, haerin chuckled; from what she remembered, the heaviest for her was having to see y/n at the hospital, it made her hate the emptiness of every corridor, the heaviness of her heart weighing all the worries she carried for y/n.

the comfort the practice room once gave her was gone, all that was left is fear of something worse as she await y/n's return.

"i can take it." haerin stated.

"i'm consulting a doctor, again." haerin finally turned her head, both of their backs facing each other but their eyes were on one another. haerin raised her eyebrows. "like your weekly checkups with the physician?" well it was something everyone knew was a part if y/n's new routine.

"why? you don't wanna go there anymore?" haerin asked again.

y/n shook her head as she took a heavy breath. "no," she paused, it was for the best, if she stopped consulting her physician, one thing could go wrong and it's over but she needed more help.

"i... i'll try reaching out to psychiatrists..." haerin looked at y/n, surprised, it was out of pocket.

"why..?" haerin was rather afraid to ask but she wanted to know. y/n shook her head and sighed. "that i'm still trying to look for an answer myself, i felt the need to reach out to a psychiatrist but i can only get the answer why i got the urge if i can hear them out." y/n answered, it was know haerin's turn to shake her head.

"no, there's definitely something wrong." the past was their playful banter, y/n remembers those memories with haerin but all with a distorted image of haerin's face and an almost empty sound of her voice.

even the touch of haerin's palm was unrecognizable to y/n.

that was her problem. "it's hard to explain." y/n said.

haerin frowned and looked down. "are you going to be okay?" like a sad kitten, haerin asked as she looked at y/n. y/n gave her a nod. "of course."

agnosia...

prosopagnosia, the disorder that affects her ability to recognize familiar faces.

phonagnosia, inability to recognize familiar voices, and ahylognosia, the disorder that hinders the identification of textures and materials.

the psychiatrist couldn't give her a proper answer to a cure, even he looked unsure; it brought y/n's hopes down. he could only say that time can help y/n re-develop these skills, it was a side effect of the trauma her head caught during her accident.

"give it at least three or more months. it should be advisable to stay with friends, families, or loved ones, that's the only thing you should really worry about, it doesn't get worse over time as long as you keep great contact with familiar people in your life."

that's what he said.

though, there isn't an instant cure, y/n held on to what her psychiatrist said, he'll keep in touch and check up on her every now and then, maybe that'll help.

as y/n was heading home, she kept listening to their own songs, familiarize... and remember...

watching music videos was her answer, since she gets to call her family all the time she needed to, y/n's main focus is once again recognizing her members.

when she got home, haerin noticed this.

"hey, you've been watching a lot of our music videos." she pointed out, y/n looked up at haerin, just a bit more, she told herself.

"yeah, i like our songs." it was true but in this situation it wasn't.

"how did your consultation went?" haerin asked, not taking no more risk to lose the chances. the members were gone except for the two girls. "it went as expected." y/n answered.

haerin looked down at y/n who sat down at her chair and haerin scratched her cheek. "i hate beating around the bush, can you tell me what you got? i promise i'll keep it." y/n appreciates haerin's honesty but it was hard to say something that took her a lot to understand.

y/n stood up from her seat and shook her head at haerin. "maybe the right time will come, i have something i want to say more now that that." y/n faced haerin and sighed as she let out a sheepish laugh.

haerin blushed as the gap between them got smaller, she really isn't good about these things unless they're playful, definitely not when it's y/n. "what is it?" maybe she shouldn't push the psychiatrist topic so much; it worried haerin yes, but it didn't seem right to y/n, it wasn't her choice.

"do you like me?" it was such a short question but haerin was taken back as she pointed to herself, she's got her tongue tied as she looked away with a soft blush.

"what's that suddenly about?" haerin asked as she looked at y/n again, y/n smiled and shook her head. "nothing, anyway i'll just get something from minji's room." y/n shrugged and haerin saw y/n walked past her and haerin reached over to y/n's shoulder. "wait!"

y/n turned around and looked at haerin as the cat-like girl took a heavy breathe. "i, i have something to say. promise we'll stay the same?" haerin's face looked delicate, to y/n's eyes, her expression were cute. "of course." she said.

"hm, i like you yeah. but why would u ask?" haerin looked at y/n before scratching her cheek. y/n stared at haerin and smiled, she shrugged and looked away for only a few seconds. "well, if i were to be honest it makes things easier for me. you know? just watch over me okay? i'll eventually get better in no time." y/n said as she beamed at haerin, haerin nodded, a soft blush covering her cheeks.

"well, as long as you tell me about what you feel." haerin shrugged, her breath feels short, must have been her heart beating too much. y/n looked down and nodded. "i promise to be transparent." y/n muttered as she leaned her head on haerin's shoulder.

y/n rubbed her face on the soft fabric of haerin's clothes, the cat-like girl's smell wafted around her, the smell of the fresh fabric conditioner. she's afraid if she closes her eyes her mind would be in a blur.

haerin looked at y/n, she awkwardly stayed still.

"i'm sorry," y/n sighed. "i can't really find a way to communicate what i'm going through, not to you, not to the members." haerin nodded.

"it is harder for you than everyone else..." haerin muttered.

"everyone will find out sooner anyway, i don't have to hide forever." y/n smiled as she she felt haerin's arms around her.

a future with everyone, that's what y/n wanted, though hard to put into imagination, she wishes that once all is over, she'll still be with haerin.

"it's okay, i won't let them force you if you don't want to." haerin knew she sounded silly, it was something tough and brave for her to say but it was true, she'd be willing to speak up if it was for y/n's betterment.

y/n chuckled and nodded. "i trust you." she whispered.

y/n doesn't want to close her eyes, she wants to know that she's with haerin, that when haerin speaks, her eyes could see her presence, she wanted more than to feel, it was out of her capabilities as her cognitive disorder limited her to be able to do such things;

if she closes her eyes, she wouldn't know it's haerin speaking, she wouldn't certainly be able to imagine the familiarity of haerin's face.

maybe just now, but in the future anything could change - hopefully.

haerin had to shake her mind off of y/n's secrets, not everything has to have her in the picture and she understood it.

haerin and y/n both hopes for something better to come, maybe tomorrow it will change, maybe not - maybe it'll only take a couple of days or if not, weeks, months or even a year or two. it's hard to try and live in the future if the present needed to be change; no one certainly knew what would happen.

but in this present, y/n only needed her family, friends, and haerin. through what limited her capabilities, it's not enough to put y/n to a full stop and not enough for haerin to keep caring for the girl.

as they stood in the middle of y/n's room, haerin's hug starts to feel tighter, without y/n noticing it.

"i love you." haerin thought, well, she didn't have enough courage to say it.

sighing, haerin carefully puts a hand on top of y/n's head and gently caressed y/n's hair. for a brief moment or more, it felt like home.

[fallingdownhell]

Takes place when the Sumeru 4 (Alhaitham, Kaveh, Cyno and Tighnari) are still Akademiya students.

You're that one quiet, unassuming classmate of theirs who wears large, nerdy glasses and your main goal is to graduate without any attention drawn to you

Too bad, that backfires when one day, you somehow forget to wear your glasses to class and all of your classmates realize just how pretty you are.

Cute, I like this one.

Characters Included: Alhaitham; Cyno; Tighnari; Kaveh

Content: gender neutral reader; nothing else as far as I am aware

Word count: 1,2k words

Something short and sweet. Have fun!

Alhaitham

he does a double take at you as he looks up from his book

he's heard the whispering among other students, but didn't pay much mind to them, thinking they were over exaggerating again, like they always do

when you walk into class, looking completely different than you usually do, it takes him by surprise

is that really you? can glasses really have that much of an affect on people's appearances?

well, whatever it is, he doesn't say anything to you, just simply focuses back on his book

throughout the day, he notices that you became the main attraction for everyone. People coming up to you and asking questions, swarming all over you

he had half a mind to ignore them and just leave the situation, but upon seeing how uncomfortable you felt, trapped in this situation, he supposed he could lend a helping hand

under the guise of having to talk to you about something related to a project, he removed you from the situation

he stayed with you until you reached a quiet corner in the house of Daena, where you thanked him for his help

he just nodded at you, not really saying anything further but just looking at you

you begin to feel uncomfortable again, what if he views you as an attraction of sort like those other people?

yet, he simply asks you why you're not wearing your glasses again

having not expected him to say anything, you answer that they broke the other day and you're still waiting for them to be repaired

he just nodded again, then left and went about his day, but not before telling you to seek him out should you require his help again

you look after him, dumbfounded, not sure why exactly Alhaitham, of all people, was engaging in conversation with you and offering up his help to you

little did you know that he thinks of you as quite cute without your glasses. In his mind, they could just stay broken so he could continue to admire you..

Cyno

Does not recognize you

AT ALL

He doesn't mean it in a bad way or anything, but you genuinely look like a completely different person to him without your glasses, so what is he supposed to think?

When you walk into class that day, he sees you and immediately walks over to you, asking you if you switched up your classroom since he's never seen you here before

you're confused about his statement, telling him that you're in the right room and that you've been part of this class for the last half year

again, does not believe you

even when you tell him your name, he refuses to acknowledge that it's really you. He thinks it's someone walking around and pretending to be you

you have to show him your ID and even then, he's still not fully convinced

after all, if what you're saying is true, then the only thing different about you is you not wearing your glasses. But that little thing can't have that much effect on your appearance... right?

He wants to argue more, but then the professor comes in, ending the discussion between you two. And after class, you're gone too quickly for him to engage again

the next day, you come into class with your glasses on again and he thinks everything is fine again

He walks up to you and strikes up a conversation with you. As he was about to mention yesterdays events, you proceed to take off your glasses in front of him

"Believe me now?", you asked him

he was dumbfounded

apologizes profusely to you, for at least a week straight. He can't believe he made such a fool of himself. Such an embarrassement!

You quickly forgive him, it's not like he meant anything bad or was harming you in any way. But that doesn't mean that you can't tease him about it every chance you get..

Tighnari

does indeed recognise you

Tighnari, I think, is a person that pays decent amount of attention to all his classmates. Not excessively, but a normal amount

so of course he notices the change in appearance almost instantly, since your glasses were a big part about your looks

however, he notices that people are whispering among themselves, talking about you

most are taking guesses on why you suddenly decided to not wear them. Some guess that they were broken, others think that you just forgot. And some not so nice people think that you're doing it for attention

because, now that you weren't wearing them, everyone could clearly tell how good looking you were

Tighnari found himself getting unreasonably frustrated with those mean people, claiming that you were just seeking attention

so, he decided to go up to you and strike up a conversation. You were confused, but at the same time pleasantly so, about this turn of events

because even if Tighnari paid attention to his classmates, that doesn't mean that he interacts with them often

so for him to go up and talk to you first was a big deal. You offered the seat next to you to him, which he took and sat down next to you

the two of you got into talking and as time went on, Tighnari continued to sit next to you, even after you started wearing your glasses again

he never questions you about it, since you must have your reasons for it

he's happy as long as he get to talk to you, since during all that time, he actually grew quite fond of you...

Kaveh

also doesn't really notice it

Kaveh is always deep with his nose in another architectual project, focused mostly on him and his ideas

he doesn't mean it in a rude way, it's just that he has many ideas and he has to write them down constantly or he forgets about them

so yeah.. mainly focuses on himself than the people in his classroom, but he tries to stay friendly with everyone and keep nice conversations with them

one day, he is assigned to work on a project together with you and the two of you decide to move to the House of Daena where it's more quiet so you can properly brainstorm about it

during this brainstorming, Kaveh keeps staring at you. Honestly, it's really irritating to you , but you try to ignore it the best you can for the sake of your grades

meanwhile, Kaveh is deep in thought. He knows something is different about you, he's talked to you many times, so he's sure that you did something, but he can't quite place it and it's driving him crazy!

Until... he suddenly has a moment of realization!

he gasps out loud once he's gotten it, making you look at him questioningly

"Don't you usually wear glasses?", he asks you then, wanting to know your reason for leaving them

You hadn't thought he would notice this, to be honest. You tell him, truthfully, that you simply forgot to put them on this morning

"Hmm... you should do that more often. You look quite dashing without them on."

he says this matter-of-factly, then simply turning back to focus on the project. Meanwhile, you're a blushing mess from his unexpected compliment, yet he doesn't notice

he means what he said to you, but he didn't think it would have such an effect on you

but, thinking back on it now.. maybe this was the moment that the infatuation with each other started for the both of you...

[leah-lover]

Away. Mapi x Ingrid x reader.

Smut 18+.

Ingrid is frustrated after a game and she is away on international duty so her girlfriends fix her frustration via face time.

You hated international break because it meant your girls were away from you. With Ingrid having to travel back to Norway, you back to England, and mapi staying in Spain, time zones were tricky so you finding get too talk much. However, this camp international break was different. You stayed behind as a precaution not to Webb your injury. But Ingrid still left, and without her the house seemed empty.

Ever since joining the triad, intimacy was always in tree. Not that any one of you would mind but you n just looked for being together all the time whether you wanted to cuddle, shower, or sex you did all of it together.

With Ingrid leaving for Norway, the desire to have sex went with her.

In the first well off her home mapi and you feel on a routine of rehab, eating together, and cuddling until you fell asleep. You would occasionally face time Ingrid when ever she had time.

Her match day was no different, you went on your usual routine and am house before kick off you found yourself laying on the couch Infront of the TV mapi with mapi laying on your chest.

The match was event full. You and most people that Norway would struggle without their st at strickers but they produced every one wrong with a 4 bill victory. The thing that went wrong in the game was Ingrid’s yellow.

After the game you kissed mapi to celebrate, sent Ingrid a voice mail telling how proud you were of her and how much you both loved her so much, and headed

to your bedroom not thinking Ingrid would have time to respond.

Suddenly, while you were both asleep ,with mapi spooning you for a change, the phone rang at 3AM. Dazzed with sleep you didn't see who was calling you just picked up.

“Hello who us with me.” You say, your voice raspy with sleep and your accent thinker than usual.

“ Hey elskling.” Said a voice you now recognize as Ingrid. Mapi is now awake too, she was as confused as you were.

You put your girlfriend on speaker and say.

“ I didnt think you would call baby. I thought you would be too tired.” You say to her worry in your voice.

“I can't sleep. I just. I miss you. I just want to come home and be worth my girls.” She responds.

“ Carino, please tell us what's up.” Says mapi.

“ It's that s tips yellow card. Plus I don't thino I played as well as I hoped. And I miss you. I miss your smell,the taste of your lips, and your comfort. If I was home I wouldn't be as frustrated.” She says, clearly desperate.

“ Let us face time you from the lap top Ninä.” Says mapi.

You then get up, turn on the lights, and ask your girlfriend. “ what's on your mind ?”

“You will see in a minute.”

After reconnecting with Ingrid you hear mapi say “ baby I need you to follow every word is say. I want you to get comfortable on the bed while we can still see you.” She gently orders the woman. Ingrid does as she was told and Lays down on the bed.

“ Baby we watched the whole game, we think you did spectacularly today. We are so proud of you.” You say.

“Amor, we wish we were there to show you how proud we are of you. Because you deserve it.” Added mapi.

Ingrid’s love language was words of affirmation so saying all those things to her would turn her into a pile of mush.

“Baby I need you to get naked for me.” Says mapi. Her demand made your head turn. “ We can't touch you and give you your reward doesn't mean you can't touch yourself “ she added. You were beyond shocked at mapi's request and the speed at which she got naked in front of her laptop.

“ You are so fucking beautiful my love.” You say at the sight of her beautiful body.

You then feel mapi's hand coax your head towards her and locks her lips with yours. Mapi was a rough kisser but this time she wanted to show off so her kisses were a little bit performative.

Ingrid remained quiet as you made out with mapi, her jaw and eyes wide open.

“ You like the show mi amor?” Asked mapi.

“I bet you are so wet right now. “ She added

Ingrid was indeed wet but she wasn't the only one. Mapi then motioned for you to take off your shorts. “ I need you to lay down, open your legs and do as I say mi amor.” She says.

“See now or baby over here is so wet.”she says as she puts her hand near your core which earns her a small moan.

“ I want you to touch yourself for me Ingrid while I touch you baby over here.” She adds, talking over you.

She then stays to touch your clit slowly rubbing circles. Your core hasn't had any attention in a whole week so as soon as mapi touched you, you stayed moaning.

As a response to Ingrid touching herself, you hear her small quiet moans through the speaker which drives you crazier than mapi's hands.

“ That's it baby. Touch yourself for me. Just like that. Imagine it was me. Imagine it were my hands on your clit.”says mapi

Her words,her touch,and Ingrid's moans were about to drive you over the edge.

“ Can I come please.?,” you ask mapi.

“I am not the one who you get permission from Carino.” She responds

“Ingrid baby please can I come.” you plead.

“Hold on elskling, let's come together.” She responds.

It only took you a couple of minutes to come together.

“That was so good my loves.” Says Ingrid.

You kiss mapi before she responds to Ingrid.

“Anytime you feel anything we are here for you.”

“ We love you so much baby.”

You end the phone call and return to mapi.

“ I think someone needs to have a favor returned.” You say to her.

[jacaerysgf]

Discovering yourself

Request: Hiiiii. Would you please write something with Aegon x f!reader? I would love to see something where the characters are opposite. Would it be okay for the reader to be a bit shy and socially awkward and loves books and music but at the same time wants to experience a bit of life but doesn’t know how and is a bit afraid to get out of her comfort zone. Once she gets to know someone she talks and is super fun but it takes her a bit of time. And then there is of course Aegon who we know is quite the opposite. The reader fancies him and the two fall in love? Could that be possible? Thank you.

w.c: 3.4k

c.w: baratheon!reader, ooc aegon probably, hes a bit of an ass sometimes, fluff, insecure/shy reader, sfw! no smut since the request didnt state it, not proofread

Unlike the rest of your family you had been more than happy when your family received an invitation to stay at kings landing in the red keep for a helena's name day festivities as she had become close with your sister floris. You had not been able to come with the rest of the family last time as you had been in bed rest. 

You couldn't even imagine how big the red keep had been and while on the way there you could barely sit still your sister hitting you on the shoulder more than once to stop you from moving around.

“Welcome back to the keep.” Alicent greeted the rest of your family before he eyes locked onto yours, “I don't believe I recognized you.”

You open your mouth to say something but there's a pause and nothing manages to come out so you put your head down as your father speaks, “my daughter, lady y/n, she was bedridden the last time we came to visit.”

Alicent lets out an acknowledged hum and you keep your head down fiddling with the fabric on your dress. You're sure your father will scold you later. 

“a pleasure, this is my son aemond and his lady wife heleana, aegon could not be here..”

you can hear the annoyance in her tone but choose to not acknowledge it and greet the other two siblings.

more formalities are exchanged between the two families, “it is so wonderful for house baratheon to join us for heleanas nameday festivities, she has grown quite fond of your family-” 

the doors of the room you were all in burst open, all head whip back to look in shock, “prince aegon!”

“I am here.”

“You are late.” you hear his mother hiss quietly to him as he stands in place next to his siblings.”

“apologies, my son prince aegon.” 

alicent introduces her son. You had heard the stories of Targaryen beauty and thought the two Targaryen siblings were gorgeous but Aegon, despite the fact he looked tired and a little sloppy, was a different level of beauty. He hadn't even needed to try and he wowed you. 

as if he could feel your stare he locks eyes with you and you shyly put your head down towards the floor oblivious to the smirk that's grown on his face.

Some more pleasantries were exchanged but you didn't bother to lift your head still feeling his stare. You wish you weren't so awkward, if you had been anything like your sisters who could keep their heads up high and smile while locking eyes while you could barely hold a sentence with these people.

You barely even notice you had all been dismissed until you felt yourself being dragged away by your sister floris. A part of you can't get the idea of Aegon out of your head, even  as you fall asleep that night you wonder if you'll get the opportunity to speak with him.

Today was meant to be the first of a three day long festival including a grand feast, a tourney and finally a ball all in honor of heleana.

The second you walk outside you are immediately hit with hundreds of people, it was definitely a celebration with music, people dancing, some watching the performers. It was magical, you had never seen such life brought to one place before. 

You and the rest of your family were sitting in one of the higher tables closer to the targaryens, you watch as floris eagerly runs up to greet heleana while you stand with your sisters who make many comments on the festivities.

“I can't believe he can put that whole sword down his throat.”

“It was just on fire too, how preposterous.” 

“Maybe he just has a lot of practice. Do you think he’s fond of men.”

Cassandra and Ellyn turn to you in horror while maris lets out your name in a chuckle while hitting your shoulder.

You shake your head with a grin but are horrified to hear the sound of laughter behind you and turn around.

“Prince aegon.” you're all clearly mortified as you all bow but he moves to stand next to you and stare at the man. 

“If he is not he should start to be there is so much potentially to be held.” 

“I am so sorry my prince i should not have-”

He waves you off with his hand and continues to look on in the crowd, “these events are such a bore they practically force you to make such a joke.”

“I did not mean to offend-”

“You talk like my brother.”

You have nothing else to say back instead just stand and watch the crowd disperse. It is only then you notice your sisters have all walked off elsewhere and you curse them in your head as the two of you stand in silence aside from the gulps Aegon takes from his chalice.

“What do you think about her?”

He points towards a contortionist not too far from where the two of you were standing. She had her leg way over her head.

“She is very pretty.”

“Oh come on, you must have some other comments to make.”

You tilt your head at her as she moves into a split and lays down flat on her stomach.

“Men must certainly fight for her attention, I am sure she is a rather capable woman.”

Your words are faster than a bird and quieter than a mouse but Aegon certainly hears them and bursts out into a roar of laughter causing those around you to turn and stare. Your face flushes and you stare at the ground as Aegon composes himself still chuckling. 

“You are a scandalous lady, y/n.”

You shake your head, “I do not know why I said such a thing.” 

“You said it because it is true, look,” he leans in closer to you, much too close, and subtly points, “look at lord simon staunton he looks like he wants to eat her alive.”

You gasp and bring a hand to your mouth as you take notice and look back at Aegon who has a smile on his face, “he is old enough to be her grandfather, no even her great grandfather! That is ridiculous.” 

Aegon shrugs, taking another sip of wine with a chuckle. “I rather think that's what he likes about it.”  

You can't help but laugh for the first time in this whole conversation keeping your head down. Once you finally lift your head and look at him he's already looking at you. You feel a rush of heat flood your face, he stares at you for a moment longer, his eyes drift down to your lips. He opens his mouth to speak but before he can you hear your fathers voice call out your name.

“I must go.” you quickly turn, feeling embarrassed about the sudden tension between the two of you and barely hear him as you rush away, “i shall see you lady y/n”

You can barely relax the rest of the day your conversion with Aegon playing in your mind over and over. It was the first time you had been sop open with somebody you barely knew. It was so refreshing to be able to joke and laugh with someone who was not your family.that night you toss and turn in bed with a big smile on your face. In turn you cannot sleep so you sit up and contemplate what to do. 

You would normally read a book but your father wouldn't allow you to take any on this trip saying there was no need for it but right now youre groaning and fall flat back on the bed. 

An idea suddenly hits you, you remember from the tour one of the guards had given you there was a library not too far from your room. It wouldn't be an issue to go and grab a book really quickly right. A grin finds itself on your face as you realize the red keep has many books you have never read or even heard of and before you know it you throw on an overcoat and begin to quickly make your way over to the library with a lantern in hand.

Nobody would mind if you just took one maybe two books to keep you sated for the rest of your stay here right? That's what you think as you manage to sneak in and out of the library with two books under your coat as you quickly try to make your way back to your room. You almost reach your door before a voice behind you rings out.

“Now what could you be doing, wondering about by yourself..”

You turn and gasp, “prince aegon.”

In your shock the books fall out of your hands, you quickly bend down to pick them up missing the ‘ah’ that had escaped his lips.

“So you read?”

“I am so sorry-”

“You did not answer my question.”

You stall for a moment, not daring to lift your head from the floor. “Yes.”

He hums, “you are quite like my brother. I see no fun in it.”

At a loss for words you keep quiet and take a step back closer to your door, turning around fully before you speak, “i shall bid you goodnight-”

“You will sit in the royal box tomorrow for the tourney.” your movements freeze and you're thankful you are not facing him as your face must be full of shock. 

You manage to compose yourself not turning around, “i thought my family would be sitting in one of the lower boxes-” 

“Not your family. You. you shall sit in the royal box. With me.” 

You feel a wild course of emotions run over your body. What does he mean, just you? Is he attempting to court you? He is trying to seduce you? Does he want something from you? Or maybe he is just trying to be kind? Maybe he takes pity on you after you had embarrassed yourself the last two days? 

You must be frozen for a while because he begins to laugh. You take a deep breath, “I must decline.” because you certainly cannot sit in the royal box with the prince. What would the people think? What would your father think? You cannot even imagine having to try and explain why you would be sitting with them tomorrow.

“This is not a request. You shall join me tomorrow. I am the prince. I say it is so.”

“But my family.” “They shall sit in the box in one of the many stands below.”

“I cannot just leave my family.”

He tsks and huffs, “then so be it your family shall join us too. I'm sure heleana would be happy to be seated with floris.” 

Did he want you to sit in the box so badly he was willing to just add your family at your request just like that? No, he wanted you to sit in the box. With him.

“alright, goodnight my prince.” 

You do not even wait for a response as you book it down the hallway and slam the door to your room shut. The books you had gotten drop to the floor as you cover your hands with your face. Out of breath like you had just ran a marathon you find yourself unable to stop smiling. 

When you and your family make your way outside you pretend to be shocked when your family is escorted to the royal box. You all greet the royal family who all stand to greet you. Aegon grabs your arm and ushers you to sit down next to him. You ignore the burning stares of your family as aegon quickly makes conversation with you. 

“Isn't the view so great from here aren't you happy I told you to sit here?” it's not a question more so a statement and all you can do is nod your head.  

“Oh come on you must have something to say to me.” he pouted at you and you swiftly turned away from him, “well you did not ask.” you mumble and he smiles, shaking his head and takes a drink of wine. “I certainly did not. You would have sat here one way or another.” 

You're thankful Aegon is sitting in the front row of the box while the rest of your family is all the way in the back so at least you won't have to deal with the questioning of your family.

“Did you prepare a favor lady , y/n?” you turn back to face queen who addressed you and nod, “yes my queen.” not mentioning it is the same favor you've had for awhile as no one had ever asked for your favor. You do not take notice to aegons clenched jaw at the question and narrow eyes at the question.

The journey begins and you've never seen a tourney as big as this one. But as it is it is pretty uneventful. You cannot hold your surprise when you see aemond being introduced. “He is competing?”

Aegon next to you hums as he continues to drink, “he does not like this stuff, calls it horse shit but heleana wanted to see him compete so he entered.” 

He of course comes up and asks heleana for her favor which she gladly gives him before he rides away.

“And his opponent, ser bronn beesbury!” The man rides in full confidence. When he takes off his helmet you can't help but admit he is a very handsome man, certainly not more handsome than Aegon but he was a very attractive man. He rides over near the royal box and Aegion sits up for the first time this whole tourney.

“Lady baratheon, you are the essence of beauty.” he holds up his hand towards the box and you're shocked in a haste you look over the edge and toss out your favor for him to catch. 

“You bless me this day my lady.” 

You sit back in your seat unable to say anything. You end up glancing at Aegon expecting him to make some comment about the man as he had been doing with all the other fighters that day. He was not even looking at you. An unreliable look on his face as he tapped his fingers on the table next to him. He started dead at aemond who stared back for a moment before nodding and slamming his helm down. 

The match began and you were wowed as aemond swiftly takes ser bronn down with an extra hard hit and ser bronn hits the floor and doesn't stand back up. You gasp as he's dragged off the scene and for the first time in the last couple minutes Aegon laughs turning to you. “What a fool thinking he can go against a targaryen.” 

A part of you feels like he's not just talking about aemond.  

you didn't speak to Aegon after the tourney as the men went out on a hunt and you're grateful especially since you're more than embarrassed after your thoughts during today's tourney. 

Though it is very tough to answer your family's questions when you don't even know yourself.

Finally it was heleanas name day and the day of the ball. You spent the morning with your family, the royal family nowhere in sight seemingly preparing for tonight's ball.

When you arrive back in your room that afternoon to prepare for the ball you and your maid are shocked to see a beautiful red and black gown laid out on the bed. “Did my father prepare this?”

The maid shook her head, she's been your maid for as long as you can remember so she freely speaks around you, “the baratheons may be wealthy little ones but your father could not afford a dress like this one.” 

The dress is gorgeous as you run your hands down it you can barely believe it.

“Well come on little one let's get you dressed.”

When your family comes knocking on your door their eyes all drop to your dress, “what is this look about?”

“Where did you get that dress?” 

“Oh I made it just today.”

“Shut your mouth and tell me.”

“I had no idea it was simply on my bed when I walked into my room.”

The discussion of your dress continued until you had been standing in front of the door waiting to be announced.

“Is it not obvious the prince has given her the dress?” You and Cassandra whip your heads to look at maris who shrugs. 

“Oh come on it's in the Targaryen house colors and obviously he seems obsessed with our dear sister.” 

“Be quiet you three” you would be surprised if your father could not hear the pounding of your heart as you consider maris’ idea.

Would the prince really leave you a dress like this? What could that possibly mean? Before you have any time to think, you and the rest of your family are being announced.

As you walk into the room you fail to ignore the stares of your fellow peers as they all seem to gawk at the dress you had been wearing. Keeping your head lowered slightly you eagerly rush to your seat. 

Soon after the main family is announced and everyone stands. When you see Aegon, a pit forms in your stomach. The suit he wears is basically identical to the dress you had on, your sister maris clearly also takes notice of this as she leans towards you, “told you so.” 

As the queen gives a speech and thanks everyone you attempt to hide yourself behind your father out of embarrassment but still manage to notice the smug look on aegons face as he looks over at you. 

Soon enough dinner is served and the music starts and you forget for a moment why you had been so embarrassed in the first place laughing with your family over good food and good music. After the food in front of you had been cleared you feel eyes staring into your back, refusing to turn around you attempt to continue the conversation you had been having with your sister maris who comments on the fact that one of the lords had stepped on ever girls foot whom he's danced with which causes you to laugh. 

A throat clears behind you and you freeze, maris smiles, “good evening my prince.” Everyone greets him as well and he gives a greeting back. You turn back to look at him and your eyes widen as he holds out his hand. 

“Dance with me.”

He says it in the same tone he had told you you were to sit in the royal box with him. It is not a question. “Aren't there any other ladies you would prefer to dance with?”

“No. Now come on.”

You glance over at your father who smiles and moves his head signaling for you to dance. 

You grab aegons hand and he is more than eager to let you onto the dance floor with him. “I heard you are fond of music.” 

“I am my prince,, where did you hear that?”

“One of your sisters had mentioned it. The plain looking one.”

You gasp, “how could you say such a thing?”

He chuckles his eyes never leaving yours, “I am simply stating the truth, I apologize.”

You huff and turn your face away from him, “if anything i am the plain one my prince.”

He huffs as he grabs your chin and turns your head to face him, “you are not. Now shut your mouth.”

A silence fills between the two of you as he continues to stare at you. “Why do you think that?” A pathetic laugh escapes you, “I am not the funniest, I am not the most pretty, not the most talented. I am the quiet sister who has no idea how to speak to people or has no confidence in anything. I shall remain alone forever as a spinster while my sisters all go off and get married.” 

The song ends and the two of you stand still while everyone claps. You do not look at him while he stares at you.  

“If you are so boring then why have you captured me so. If you are not unfunny then why do I find myself laughing more in your presence than I ever have. If you are so untalented then why are you the first lady I've enjoyed dancing with? If you shall remain alone forever then why do I wish to be by your side.” 

You don't even notice that all the eyes in the room are staring at the two of you, aegon is your whole world right now.

“Marry me. And I shall open up the world to you.”

[vex91]

Twice - Toy

Pairing: Twice x Female Reader (Non Idol AU)

Fandom: Twice

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: Can I request g!p twice with sub poly reader

Summary: After being kicked out of your house by your landlord, your sister asks her friends to let you stay with them at their dorm. What you didn't expected was becoming their sex toy as a payment for staying.

Warning(s): Smut, 18+ content, G!P Twice, Degradation, Y/N basically sleeping with every Twice member

A/N: I hope that it came out alright and to your liking. Thanks for requesting <3

3rd's POV

"Yeah, they said that it's fine for you to stay there until you find another place for yourself, Nayeon assured me about it hundreds times already"

Your sister's words resonated throughout your head as you stood in front of the big building. The paper with an address on it in your hand as you looked between it and the building nervously, confirming that you were indeed at the right place. Your sister assured you that her friends were fine with you staying for a while so you shouldn't be so nervous right? But on the other hand you've never met them so it's okay for you to be nervous, especially since you are going to be living with them for some time.

Sighing you knocked on the door waiting for a reply, on the other side you could hear multiple different whispers and the sound of footsteps coming up. Suddenly the door swung open and to your eyes came a woman that you recognize from the picture of her and your sister. Jihyo was her name if you remembered correctly "Hi, you must be Y/N right? Come in" She smiled at you as she took a step aside to let you in. You walked in with your luggage as you looked around the living room.

In front of you stood eight other women, all of them just as gorgeous as the one who let you in. You smiled awkwardly at them, feeling even more nervous because of all these eyes on you. You weren't expecting to be living with nine other people, you thought it's going to be three or four maybe. As if sensing your nerves, Jihyo stepped in "Okay guys come on, you'll only make her nervous with all this staring. Now my name is Jihyo, and this is Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu" Jihyo introduced each of the girls before looking back at you "You're the same age as our Tzuyu right? Then you will be sharing a room with her" Tzuyu came up to you to help you carry your stuff to her room.

"Such a shame, I would love to share a room with her" Jeongyeon slapped Sana's shoulder after she said that as you only blushed. Her eyes only made the comment even more suggestive. You quickly followed Tzuyu upstairs, still feeling their eyes following your every move. You tried brushing it off since you were someone they didn't knew yet but still, something in their eyes told you that they were up to some no good. Still they were your sister's friends so you had to trust her that she wouldn't put you in the house full of psychos.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah fuck-" You cursed as Sana's cock pumped in and out of you. You gripped the table as she pushed you more and more into it with her every thrust. You weren't sure how you found yourself in this situation, a few minutes ago you were making a food for yourself when Sana came in and now you were pressed against the table with Sana's cock filling you up from behind you. You knew that you shouldn't do it with a girl you knew only 2 weeks but it felt too good and you didn't wanted her to stop.

"Does it turn you on? The thought of anyone coming in and seeing you being a whore for my cock?" She punctuated each word with deep thrusts causing you to come with a scream that was muffled by her hand. She continuing pumping in and out of you until she came deep inside you. Just then Dahyun came to the kitchen, seeing you two in such a position caused her own dick to harden. You gulped nervously while Sana only smirked "Oh such a good timing, want to join?" Honestly Dahyun didn't had to be told twice, her pants were already on the floor when Sana finished her question.

Sana pulled out of you and switched places with Dahyun who spitted on her cock to lubricate it before pushing it in you. You were still sensitive from Sana's one so you whined at the feeling. Still your hips pushed themselves more into her with every thrust. As Dahyun continued fucking you, you looked to the side to see Sana jerking herself off while watching you two. The smirk still on her face when she looked at how fucked out and desperate you were. She walked back to you and put her dick near your lips "Come on, I know you want it" She pushed her whole length in your mouth, grunting at how warm your mouth was.

They continue fucking you like this, Dahyun thrusting in your pussy and Sana in your mouth until they filled you full of their cum. They looked at the work they did with smiles before they left you there, all fucked out and tired.

Of course Sana couldn't keep her mouth shut for long and the news about what happened between you, her and Dahyun reached Jeongyeon, Chaeyoung and Mina. Of course they got curious about it because who wouldn't, especially when they were very interested in you already. That's why they decided that they wanted to have some fun with you too so they called you over to Jeongyeon's room. You went there because you thought that they wanted to talk about something but instead you found yourself gagging on Jeongyeon's cock while Mina and Chaeyoung fucked your holes.

Mina was busy with your pussy while Chaeyoung pumped in and out of your ass, both weren't too keen on going slow making you lose your mind especially since at the same time Jeongyeon was using your mouth as a living fleshlight made just to get herself off. They continued fucking you like this until they came but even then they just switched positions before resuming what they've started, not caring if you were tired or not and for some weird reason you liked the roughness of it all.

It's safe to say that you've spend a good few hours in that room with them before you walked out on wobbling legs.

Momo managed to get you along with Tzuyu in the bathroom. You were taking a shower when Momo suddenly barged in, not knowing that you were in there "Oh god, I'm sorry I didn't knew you were here" She tried to apologize and look away but you could see from how hard she got that she didn't wanted to look away "It's fine but you can come in if you want to" Honestly you would be lying if you said that you didn't wanted Momo to took you right there and then so how could you just let her leave after getting her hard?

To help her, you let her fuck you however she wanted so she decided to fuck you hard against the wall. Her dick thrusted deep inside you as she held you up and against the wall. Truthfully the fact that she showed how strong she was only made you more turned on for her. She continued pumping in and out of you and soon the door opened and Tzuyu walked in, freezing when she saw what was happening. Momo being too busy fucking you, didn't noticed her until she finally came in you.

When she finally noticed the youngest of them standing there, she smiled "Come here Tzuyu" Doing as she was told Tzuyu walked over slowly. Momo put you down and went behind you, letting Tzuyu take the front. Tzuyu looked at you for an approval and after getting it, she pushed herself into you, moaning at the feeling of your walls clenching around her. Just as she was slowly fucking you, Momo entered your ass from behind and held you up a little to give herself and Tzuyu better angle to thrust.

And just like before they continued fucking you until they tired you out but instead of leaving you, they helped you get cleaned up before helping you to bed.

Of course after hearing about all of this Nayeon couldn't just let herself be the one who hasn't fucked you yet so she called you over to her room. After talking with you for a bit she started getting very touchy with you before she straightforwardly said that she wanted to fuck you, so she did. She pushed you into the bed as she fucked you against it, your moans muffled by the bed and back all covered in marks made by her.

"You like it huh? You like being our little sex toy? Honestly if you continue paying us like this then you can stay here forever, you would like that huh?" You could only wordlessly nod, the feeling of her cock hitting all the right spots deep inside you made you unable to make any coherent sentence. Your wall clenched around her as you reached your climax and came right along with her. Her warm cum filled you to the brim as you moaned at the feeling.

Before you could say anything Nayeon started moving her hips again, planning to breed you multiple times.

Lastly Jihyo, your sister best friend. Of course she also wasn't able to resist you and had to have you to herself alone in her room. She had you pinned against her bed as her cock moved inside you slowly, she made sure to savor the moment before she went crazy "Your sister would kill me if she found out about this" Her hips started moving faster at the thought of your sister finding out about her friends constantly fucking her precious little sister. Jihyo knew that she won't be happy but your pussy just felt too good.

"She told me to take good care of you so that's what I'm doing right?" She thrusted inside you faster and faster as you nodded at her words "F-Fuck yesss, sooo good fuc-" You managed to get out and Jihyo smiled. She sucked on your boobs as her moves started becoming more and more unsteady and soon she was cumming inside you. Still her hips couldn't stop moving and she continued this whole thing not caring if your sister was going to find out or not.

It was your decision to let yourself be their toy and you were okay with letting them use you like this since they let you live with them. Plus you liked the feeling of being used like this by them.

[crevicedwelling]

I have a pretty bad fear of wasps. Nothing crippling, I can observe them from a distance just fine, but it does make being outside on warm, sunny days a stressful experience. I want to work on it, because I know they're just like any other animal: they're just minding their own business 99% of the time, they're not out to get you, and they deserve a place on this world as much as any other. And I know some can even learn to recognize/"befriend" people, which I think is super cool. I actually followed your blog partially because you post about wasps and I knew it would help to regularly expose myself to wasps that way.

I still sometimes freeze up or get really jumpy when I see a wasp near me. But I can tell I've been getting better. Just the other day I went to the Renaissance Festival and was carrying around a big cup of mead (a.k.a. wasp attractant) and, yeah, I was followed by a couple wasps. At one point two of them just hung out on the inside of the cup for like five solid minutes licking it clean.

If it weren't for your blog I would've been so terrified I probably would've thrown the cup onto the ground and waited from like twenty feet away for the wasps to leave. But I DIDN'T. I carried it around with me and patiently (and anxiously) waited for the wasps to fly away whenever they did show up.

It's really hard to make myself just stay still when I see a wasp near me. Earlier today I could only do so for maybe 30 seconds before I had to stand up and wait nearby for it to leave. But I'm really trying to get over that fear, and I'm slowly getting better, and I think I owe your blog quite a bit in that regard. So, thank you.

I believe the most common wasp here (at least, the one I was dealing with in those two anecdotes) is some kind of Vespula yellowjacket, probably Vespula maculifrons. So... I dunno, if you have any fun facts or pictures or videos about yellowjackets (either V. maculifrons or yellowjackets in general), I'd love to hear/see those. And if not, that's okay too <3

I think a fun fact that most don’t appreciate about yellowjackets is how much they parasitize one another!

Vespula maculifrons here is a widespread, common species in eastern North America. queens of this species do the usual overwinter under log, find a hole, make a nest deal. they scavenge, they hunt, they feed on nectar. pretty standard Vespula.

V. squamosa is a species that’s very common locally, and when you see workers out and about they act much like other yellowjackets. however, their queens (no photo) are huge, hornet-sized orange wasps quite different from the workers. curiously, V. squamosa don’t make their own nests about 85% of the time. instead, most of those big bruiser queens wait a few weeks longer to come out of hiding, and track down a new Vespula maculifrons nest founded earlier in spring. she’ll march into the smaller species’ nest, chew the original queen to pieces, and bully her daughter workers into submission. she then lays her own eggs in the nest, and produces her own workers who forage alongside the V. maculifrons workers, and over time the colony becomes only made up of V. squamosa. V. squamosa will even take over nests that have already been usurped by another facultative parasite, V. flavopilosa, which usually targets V. maculifrons as well!

in the warmera south, V. squamosa nests can become massive superstructures housing dozens of queens, used year after year. if you’ll allow me a moment of poetic speculation, most of these ancient castles must therefore contain the remnants of a tiny V. maculifrons nest at their core, the gnawed ruins of a conquered house.

[dxxtruction]

"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?

I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.

And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.

I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.

But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.

Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.

The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.

Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.

Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.

If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.

*: (edit) added for clarity.

**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.

[antiquarianfics]

Timeless

Reader wonders how their life might have looked different in 1944, but they know they still would have loved Bucky Barnes.

Author's Note: I have not written fanfiction in years, merely lurking and reading. However, "Timeless" (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) just screams Bucky x Reader to me. I had to come back. So, enjoy. :) Genre: Fluff Pairing: Bucky Barnes x G!N Reader WC: 725 words

---

"What was it like?" You spoke hesitantly, choosing your words carefully as you break the comfortable silence where you and Bucky had been quietly looking at the antiques and knickknacks around the small store.

"What was what like?" Bucky looks down at you, eyebrow raised.

You nudge him with your shoulder.

"Hush, I was getting there," you laugh. "What was it like in the '40s?"

Bucky had told you plenty about his life both pre and post Winter Soldier; however, you still felt like asking again.

Bucky smiled softly, looking up and around the room. "It was hectic. We had just entered the war and everyone was panicking. I remember Ma and Becca were practically begging me not to enlist." He pauses, gathering his thoughts. His mother and sister were hard for him to talk about sometimes, so you grab his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"It was funny, though. After enlisting, I felt like I was on top of the world. I was proud to join, y'know? Think Ma and Becca were proud of me, too. Just scared."

"Understandable," you agree. You bite your lip, thinking. "Did enlisting get you a girlfriend?"

Bucky blows out air in a stifled laugh. "No, but it didn't hurt my game," he teases.

You roll your eyes before settling on an old photograph in a catch-all sort of box labeled "Photographs: 25¢ each." The photo was lying neatly on top of the others, practically calling you toward it like a siren to a sailor. You begin moving towards it, letting Bucky's hand fall out of your grasp as you go to pick it up.

"Why do you ask?" Bucky questions, coming up to stand behind you at the photo box. He gently slides his arms around your body, hugging you from behind, gazing at the photograph over your shoulder.

You hum. "I don't know; I guess all this old stuff just got me thinking."

Bucky stays silent, letting you pull your thoughts together.

"You think this would've been us?" You ask.

The photo you were drawn to was of a '30s couple smiling and laughing on the porch of their first home. You didn't know who these people were, obviously, but you recognized them as you and Bucky. It was a strange feeling, and you hoped Bucky would understand it, too.

"Oh, for sure. I woulda been crazy about you back then," Bucky smiles, imagining you in his time. "You in victory rolls, the long skirts, out dancing? God, you know I would've been talking you up."

You giggle, feeling flustered. "I would've married you, bought you a house, given you kids, whatever you wanted," he continues. "I would've had the prettiest person in all of space and time sending me off to war."

You frown slightly. "You know, for people who fight bad guys and aliens on a regular basis, I really don't like the idea of sending you off to war. It's too dangerous. You might fall off a train, or something."

Bucky laughs, poking you in the side. "Come on, now."

"No, seriously. I hate it. I pray every night that you'll come back unscathed when you go on missions with Sam, and... I just can't imagine having to rely on letters or not being able to just go with you," you take a breath, grounding yourself. You realize you're working yourself up.

"I would have, though."

"Would've what?"

"Relied on the letters. I would've read them every night, and write you just as much. Telling you not to be stupid and not die. I would've sat by the mailbox everyday just to get your letters and know you're alright."

Bucky grins. "I would've come back. For you."

"If you could've just gone back, don't you think you would have?"

"Nah," Bucky dismisses the thought. "If I hadn't fallen off that train, I'd be ancient or dead right now and I wouldn't have gotten to love you."

You set the photo back down in the box before turning around in Bucky's arms. You slide your arms around his neck and he lets his fall to your waist.

"I'm serious," he says when the two of you make eye contact. "What we got, Doll? It's timeless. I was gonna end up in your arms one way or another."

You lean up and kiss him.

[ratcash-wasgud]

Heeyyy!! Lol, sorry if this came out a little short, I didn't have much time. Plus I'm sorry if I'm doing this incorrectly, i'm still very new to tumblr. Also, this one will have sugestive themes (not flat out smut lmao), so watch out if you're not comfortable with those. And sorry for the possible spelling mistakes too lol

Like swimming in the sunset /part two/

Mizu felt an aching in her head when her eyes opened once again, one she grew quite familiar with over her journey. She reached for her sword out of instinct, but it wasn't at her hip. She tried sitting up quickly, maybe even too quickly as a sharp pain striked into her side. Her vision was blurry as she glanced around the room, and took in it's emptiness. A sudden bitter, but kind of calming feeling washed over her as she recognized the room she grew up in. It was the same, which made a small tinge of relief awaken in her heart. She noticed her sword was lying next to the futon she was sitting on, and quickly gripped it as she weakly stood up and stumbled out of the house. Outside, she was met with Taigen chatting with...a familiar figure.

You.

Mizu felt a pang in her chest. It was...strange, seeing you after so long. Question flood through her head. First off, you were alive, which made her feel relieved, but on the other hand...she hasn't seen you for years, and she knows how people change. She remembers how you were, but are you still that kid she grew so close to? She stood there for a couple moments before Taigen notcied her and gave her a scoff. You turned in her direction too, and for the first time in so long, Mizu felt...nervous. She felt the tips of her fingers numbing, her blood pumping slightly, and she had to gulp. When you saw her your lips curled into a small smile...a sweet one. That same smile that brightened her days all those years ago.

You looked different. Your features matured, your skin had a different tint from the sunlight, your form grew taller and your eyes...well, those stayed very familiar to Mizu. Warm...they were still warm.

"Mizu," You stepped forward and said gently. Your voice changed a little bit too, and even though it shouldn't have surprised her, you grew up, it did. "You woke up. What a relief." You said, putting your weight onto one leg, and a lighthearted smile. Mizu just lowered her gaze and shrugged a little.

"You need more to take me down." She said and she stepped forwad, which you rewarded with a small chuckle. She took a better look at what you two were doing, and it seemed like you were about to light a campfire. There were coal stains on your fingers...the same fingers she never let do hard work back in the day... and there were stains on Taigen's haori too, on his shoulder...was it because you touched his shoulder? Was it affectionately, or was it a playful bump? Did you smiled at him as you did it? Was is the sweet smile she always gets?

Mizu had to shake her head to shoo those thoughs away. Was she so overwhelmed to get lost in details like this? She never thought like this, so why now...

"Taigen told me he knew you when you were small." You say with a small smile, and shoot Taigen an eye roll. Mizu shrudders at this. Like Taigen would ever talk about her with compassion, and just the thought of the you hearing that spiteful talk that came out of his mouth about her...Mizu clenched her teeth as she showed both of you aside to crouch down and start lighting the campfire.

You softly sighed, and crouched next to her, and after reaching into your kimono, you opened your palm to her, revealing...a piece of candy. This flooded Mizu's mind with memories of you and her sharing candy, and the fact that candy was the reason she managed to "reconcile" with you when you two were kids. She cracked a half smile and took the candy, popping it into her mouth.

Taigen broke the moment with a clearing of his throat. "I...am also glad you woke up. I was starting to expect you died or something." He says, but not maliciously this time...it was even a little playful. "I need you in the best condition, so that I can beat you with honor." He says and he scoffs, and Mizu just rolls her eyes in response but she herself cracks a small smile. As Taigen busies himself with cutting wood, Mizu takes a deep breath and speaks up.

"I thought you were dead." She says, deadpan. This draws a bitter smile from you.

"I thought I was gonna die too." You say softly, like it's no bid deal. Like the whole thing didn't ruin her years. "But now I'm here." You say, moving your gaze to the sparks flying between Mizu's hand she lights the fire. You hear her sigh again. "You're just as grumpy as I remember." You try to joke, in hopes of lighting the mood.

"When did you get back?" She asks, unfazed by your attempt.

"When I arrived Grandpa Eiji told me that you just left, and that could mean anything." You say lightheartedly. It came to Mizu's attention that you took things more easy now. You haven't puffed, or shied away. "He told me you went on a quest. Honestly I was quite happy." You say, as you sit down in the cold grass, because your knees went tired from crouching.

Happy? Mizu's eyes squinted at her own hands. Why were you happy that she left? Were you relieved that you didn't have to face her? Did you want her to keep believing that you're dead?

"I knew you went on to calm something inside you. I always thought that you will one day, so I was relieved I wasn't there for the bitter goodbyes." You says, her smile softening into something genuine.

At that, Mizu cracked a smile. "If you would've been there, you would've begged me to stay." She says, glancing at you, and the gilnt in her eyes is a little smug. Almost cocky.

"Maybe." You shrug. "But I know your quest is not done." You sigh and lean back on your arms, looking at the sky, which is uncommonly clear. "You will leave once again, won't you?"

Mizu looks back at her hands, and blows on the sparks, giving life to the fire. After some moments of silence, she speaks up, stoic once more. "I have to. I will not rest until I finish what I started."

You snicker. "Yeah, I know that. You're as stubborn as ever." You say, playfully tapping her knee with yours. "But that's alright. You'll survive, and then you'll come back." You say confidently.

"I will?" It slips out from Mizu's lips withouth thinking.

"You will." You answer withouth hesitation. "After all," You start as your eyes meet hers. "They need much more to take you down."

That draws a small smile from Mizu, one you return. The following moments are spent with you and her just looking at eachother, and all she sees is your smile. It's a vulnerable moment for Mizu, something she always manages to avoid, but something is different now. She feels...something fluttering inside her. Something she felt long ago once, when she was by Mikio's side, but...this cannot be the same. Even if you don't know that, she is a woman, just like you. You were her family back in the day, almost like a sister so why...why is she longing to feel your touch so suddenly?

Sure, she always liked to be near you, but that was nothing out of the ordinary, since you were the first kid to be nice to her, and her first ever friend. Does she feel for you as she'd feel for a true friend? Not like she'd ever know how to feel for a true friend, this is her first time, but...it still bothers her. You move in and out of her life on a whim, how does she know she will see you again once you get out of her sight once more? And she remembers where that fluttering feeling took her when she had a husband, so it wouldn't be wise to embrace it again. You probably won't even return it, since even if you did...you would be for the man she's pretending to be.

And she's pulled out of her train of thought when you stand up from next to her. "Your friend is nice." You say suddenly, wanting to change the topic. Mizu's brows furrow. "You mean Taigen?" She asks, scoffing.

"No, no. Ringo." You say with a chuckle. "He's very skilled. He helped me make dinner yesterday, and he is currently chopping vegetables for today's meal." You say, nudging your head towards Ringo, who is chopping vegetables on a log. That leaves a bitter taste in Mizu's mouth, remembering how Ringo is still mad at her...or even hates her entirely. "Yeah...he's useful." She murmurs, and goes to throw wood at the fire while glancing at your form as you walk away. She sees you kneel beside him and show him how to peal carrots in a more efficent way, and she...isn't sure how to feel.

Mizu expected almost everything at this point in her journey, but the last thing she thought will happen...is that she'll be in war with her own emotions.

She spends the rest of the day quietly, just...watching things happen in silence. She sees Taigen sitting next to you at dinner, and how you two giggle together. She hates seeing it. It's not like she hates seeing you giggle, she just...hates seeing you giggle with him. Taigen is a moron, why can't you see that? Plus, you only known him for like a day and a half so...why are you talking to him, not Mizu, the one who's your actualy childhood friend?

The next day, after staring at her broken sword for a couple minutes, and thinking about how to ask Eiji to help her make a new one, she heads outside, and she sees you with Ringo. You're making new bands for his stumps, so he could hold things better, and she sees you smiling at him softly as you do. You're caring, that one she knew ever since she was 13 years old...but for some reason, she thought you were only this caring towards her. It burns her insides seeing you act so sweet towards others...men, to be specific. Mizu knows you also see her as a man, but knowing you're also this tender with people who could actually be love interests in your life...people who'd be normal if you wanted to marry, or...people who could possibly please you...it's eating Mizu alive for some reason.

She can't be acting like this, she needs to cool her head. So, she decides to go and have a bath.

There is a warm water source near by, one she used to visit a lot when she was a child. She heads there, and before making sure that nobody is near, she slips out of her clothes and submerges her body into the water. She feels her wounds sting for a minute, but she quickly gets used to it, and leans back against a rock. It's peaceful. She looks down at her wounds, and they're treated nicely. The deep ones are swen together, and the burns are bandaged with care. She knows this a work of your hand, you probbaly did it while she was unconcious...you always treated her this softly when you were kids too.

As she sits there, her eyes slowly fluttering closed, she suddenly sees you behind her eyelids. How would it be like if you were here with her? She never saw your...body before. Do you have scars on your delicate skin? Do you have birthmarks on your back?

Is your skin as soft as she imagines it to be? How would it feel if you...touched her, with that precious hand of yours? Maybe...maybe you'd slowly glide your hand along her jawline, down her neck, across her collarbones...Maybe you'd pay close attention to her scars, and caress them one by one, trace them with your fingertips. Maybe you'd even place your soft lips on one of them... Mizu shivers. She feels so...wrong thinking about this, but it's certainly hard to stop. She hates it that even just this mental image makes her a little happy.

Her imagination forces even more pictures about you into her head, no matter how much she tries to protest. She sees you slowly moving closer, placing yourself in her lap as you two sit in the water. Oh, how nicely you'd fit there...and how soft you'd feel. She'd place her hands on your waist, maybe even let them slip lower to your hips and thighs as you'd play with her hair and push your body against hers, your breasts meeting hers while her hands would circle around your thighs, slowly finding-

Mizu sugmerges her face and lets out a loud scream into the water. What is she even doing? How could she let herself sink this low? Oh, she can just see the look on your face if you'd ever found out about her thinking like this...you'd be utterly disgusted! She needs to be rid of these thoughs anyways, she needs to snap her mind back to her quest. She'll leave this place as soon as her wounds heal, so it would be foolish to get comfortable here...even if it's temping.

But now, she has something that will motivate her to actually come back from her journey one day.

[sehodreams]

Rich CEO Sungchan is married to an heiress. Their marriage didn’t start off as a business arrangement. As two young, hot, fit people, they were attracted to each other. But as the years went by, Sungchan became less and less attracted to the heiress. It doesn’t help that their sex life is vanilla. Their newborn was 100% a business arrangement. He’s secured an heir to the empire. Reader is hired as the stay-in nanny to help with the newborn. Most of the day she’s in the main mansion, tending to the newborn as the heiress tens to her socialite life. At night, she sleeps in the detached guest house. Sometimes, the nanny’s and Sungchan’s paths cross in the estate. 🌒 (all asks optional, dont feel pressured to respond)

God I've been in a Sungchan brain rot lately, I have a dumb!popular!Sungchan in the oven and now this, god, I've been well fed these days 🥴

I'm slowly answering the questions, sorry if sometimes I take too much time, it's a busy season where I work, but I love all ideas and mtl questions, so feel free to continue doing them, I'll try to answer them in my free time! 💕

I hope you like it, to be honest i already have a second part, my mind kept showing me other scenarios, so if you have any feedback is more than welcome!

TW and tags: dark!CEO!Sungchan, noncon, p in v, no protection, thigh fucking, fingering, breeding kink, squints of Sir Kink, plus size!nanny!reader

WC: sorry, wrote it in my phone and have no idea, but probably around 4k like usual.

Just a gift

He didn't notice your existence until he went to see his baby boy after a long work trip, he had gone to Japan to see a couple of his restaurants, leaving his wife with his child, trusting her to take care of him.

He didn't mind that she received help, he expected it since he knew she'd have to go to a couple events like always, but it seemed as if the woman he had married was getting busy on purpose to avoid taking care of their child, and that did bother him, but she'd do her job at some point, he hoped.

When he arrived he asked for his child and his wife, the maid told him the lady had gone out to a family reunion and the child was sleeping in his room, so he quickly tossed his tie aside, getting more comfortable, and walked to his newborn's room, calming himself to not get mad with his wife. It was a long way to that side of the mansion and he had asked for his things to be moved as near as possible to help in case anything happened, so he'd rest after checking on his baby. He had stopped sharing his bed with his wife a long time ago and they slept on different sides of the house, but now that they had a child, they couldn't avoid each other's presence anymore, or so he thought.

When he opened the door he expected to see his baby sleeping in his baby crib, carefully chosen by a professional, but what he saw left him without words.

You were there, in the dark room with just a limp light on, carrying his baby with your eyes closed while whispering sweet words "you're a lucky baby, I hope you grow up with as much love as wealth you'll receive, and become a great man". You held him with so much care, close to your chest, giving him all your warm.

And that made him hard.

In the moment he laid his eyes on you, he knew you existed to have a child, you were a mother, and he wanted to give you all the children you wanted. He had deduced you didn't have any children, how could such a sweet young thing like you have children already? You had so much love overflowing your words and movements, it wasn't possible.

He stopped himself, his mind running around a mile per second, imagining you in his bed with your legs up and his cock stuffing you, making you a real mother.

"Who are you?" He asked after a second, still at the door, not walking near you because he knew he'd get weak.

You opened your eyes in shock by the male voice, so deep into your own comfort with the baby you took care of. You looked at him and immediately recognized him, the same hair color and skin as the baby you were holding, also it was impossible to not know who he was, the owner of the household, and your boss you had no opportunity to meet until now, "Sir, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, I'm baby Sungchan's nanny" you smiled. He got drunk with the way your smile made your sweet cheeks chubbier, and your round body called him to get warm with it into your side, so welcoming.

He was sure your sweet pussy would easily accept him, would call for him, just like your eyes and lips did. You were such a sweet thing to the eye, of course you had to taste as sweet too, right?

"Sorry I wasn't notified with your presence, if you don't mind, could you tell me when did you start working here?" He talked, ignoring the pressure that started to bother him inside his pants.

"Oh, it hasn't been that long, maybe a month" you whispered, leaving his child into the crib, softly, slightly bending to not wake him up, showing Sungchan your precious and bubbly ass. God, he wanted to lift that long skirt and fuck you right there, his body was so hot it hurt.

He couldn't remember the last time he had sex, he knows it was with his wife when they conceived the small heir, and after that he got so busy with work and his new life as a father he didn't have time to visit the VIP brothel he used to visit before he and his wife had decided to have a son. He and his wife had a good start, both were equals in the relationship, they had the beauty and the status to be a perfect couple, but their feelings got colder with time, and at some point they just stopped being a real relationship, only staying together for the benefits it had. The sex had always been too vanilla for his liking, and after a couple of years he had decided to visit brothels instead of finding girls around, he didn't want a relationship, and he was sure anyone who wasn't paid to be with him would quickly catch unnecessary feelings for him.

"What do you mean a month? I left for Japan 2 weeks ago, does that mean you were almost 2 weeks here, with my child, and you didn't bother to present yourself to me? My wife has never told me about you" he was frowning his eyebrows behind you. You stood up properly again, bowing and saying sorry. "I don't want you to apologize, I want you to give me an explanation" his voice was getting higher and you looked alarmed behind you.

"Please Sir, let's not raise the voice in here, this is your son's room, not your office, let's have this conversation in another place" you replied. You were so calm, so put together, it started a fire inside his guts. He wanted to ravage you, look at tears falling down your cheeks and your pussy contracting around his fingers, convulsing and making a mess, and giving you the prize you deserved, because you were much more mother than his wife, who had never shown as much interest as you for his child, and you, in just an interaction, had shown more love and maturity than her.

"You're right, let's go to my office" he accepted. You walked in front of him and he watched your hips move with every step, the curve of your lower back going to your ass, was insane. He had never had interest in curvy bodies before, thinking that they were unhealthy, but now that he had a son with his wife, he realized your body was just different, softer, warmer, more breedable, he smiled.

When you arrived to his office he sat in his leather sofa, showing you with his eyes were you should seat, in front of him, in another sofa, with a little table between you. You did it, you sat and patted your skirt, with your straight back, pushing your tits in the way. He saw your sweet boobs push your floral white blouse, and your long baby blue skirt only enhanced the softness of your body. He licked his lips without you noticing and crossed his long legs.

You didn't feel small, but you felt watched, reason why you did your best to mantain eye contact.

So a feisty one, he thought, I like that.

You heard the clock ticking, too obvious in the silence. "What are you waiting for?" He asked.

"Sorry, it's my fault I didn't present myself to you, I should've done it, the lady said to not bother you because then you'd have an unapproachable actitud with your son, and my main interest, as wrong as it sounds, it's the wellness of your child, so I didn't want to push any buttons on you. Still, I'm sorry Sir, I have no excuses."

You sounded so pretty, making it seem as if you always thought about his son, he was sure you'd be a great wife one day, obedient but strong willed, soft and caring but protective.

However, that would have to wait, because he wanted you for him.

"I see, I'm afraid my wife has told you things that aren't a hundred percent true, I do get frustrated when I'm interrupted, but anyone who has direct contact with my child and has to bring me news about his wellbeing will never be a bother, I hope that from now on we mantain a better relationship, and thank you for taking care of my child in the meanwhile."

You looked up to him, you have never been treated so good by a parent before, always working for rich jerks, it was new for you to have such a notable gentleman talk to you like that. You smiled and nodded. "Thank you Sir, I'll take care of him as if it was my blood"

He smiled and dismissed you, you quickly left to go to your room on the attached house, excited to have met your boss.

He jerked off with your smile in his mind.

Days went by, he tried to tell himself that maybe it was better to just have a boss/worker relationship with you, to not surpass any line. But God you did it hard for him, now everyday before his son went to sleep and you to your room, you'd go with the baby in your arms to his office, so he could give him a goodnight kiss.

And he was dying to give you one too.

Everytime he saw you walking near his room in the morning, making sure his baby was always well fed, going around with your pretty flowy dresses and your tits that bounced everytime you moved. They would feed a child really well, he repeated on his mine, or maybe they already had milk? It was impossible to have those voluptuous boobs and not want a taste.

Still, he never did anything, not touching a hair on your head.

He repeated like a mantra that it was not okay, he needed you around because his wife had better things to do than take care of their boy, and his boy loved you so much, every day his laugh filled the empty corridors like a song, making an echo that made everyone that heard it smile.

Except his wife, of course.

"When are you coming back" he asked when he saw her taking a couple bags full of party clothes.

"I'm not sure, but it won't be more than a month" she hurried to go out. You were in the room with the baby, listening to the baby's mother leave without giving the small one a second glance, but you couldn't say anything, it wasn't your position to question the parents.

"If you leave that door, I swear, I'll take cards into the subject" he said angrily. "It's our child! You can't leave him like that! You have never breastfeeded him, not a single time!"

"It hurts, what do you want me to do? And he's being taken care just fine, I'll come back in a few weeks, you also travel a lot, why shouldn't I?" You heard him throwing things to the floor and flinched, you had never seen him get that angry before, he always had a smile on his face when you appeared.

Both their rooms were next to the baby's so you heard everything clearly, and when the baby started to cry you grabbed him and ran to the patio to calm him down.

An hour later you saw from the patio the lady leaving with a couple bags and dark sunglasses. He couldn't... You doubted. Could have he touch her? The same Sungchan you saw every morning and night and always kissed his son and talked to you with respect?

You shook your head, it wasn't any of your business. He came down a couple minutes later, fuming, and searched for you. You quickly answered "Sir, I'm here" You said after running to the backdoor that connected the house with the patio, you didn't dare to scream next to the baby. The baby was in the stroller, taking his daily nap, and you were beside him, sitting in one of the many benches. He walked with you to your seat, heat coming out of him, so hot you felt it in your back when he walked behind you, when he saw him there, his baby next to you now, and your confused gaze, he calmed down.

"I'm sorry you had to heard that, I've been having numerous fights with my wife since the baby was born... I just... I don't know what to do, it had never passed my mind that he wouldn't have his mother around, I always respected how serious my wife took his life and businesses" he looked down, you couldn't help but get soft for him.

"I'm sorry to hear that Sir, but let me assure this baby it's been well taken care of, not only by me, but by you, I had never seen a father so committed to his role before" you wanted to comfort him.

He smiled at your words "thank you".

Everything started to get even better, he visited his child more, and had started to give you bonuses and little gifts, did you have a favorite coffee? The kitchen had all the options you could ever need. You needed a new stroller for his kid? Take his credit card, don't even doubt of getting the best one. Did you like those little dresses, right? Well, one of his friends had a store you could visit, don't worry, it's just a gift.

Just a gift, just a gift, he always said, and you started to feel more and more uncomfortable with his attentions.

"Sorry Sir, I can't accept that" he was showing you a gold bracelet that matched his son's little necklace.

"Don't worry, it's nothing, just a gift" he smiled and tried to put in in your wrist.

You moved your hand away from his grip. "I shouldn't Sir, I-I don't think this is okay" you nervously said, you didn't want to think he had any ulterior motive to give them to you, but everyone else had started to look at you weirdly, and you heard how the staff talked behind you "she's gonna trap him", "she must be doing extra work to be on his good side", "someone should remind her he's married". It was all too much for you.

His eyes full of love changed. "Are you rejecting my gift? I choose it for you, if you don't accept it I have no option but to throw it out"

"No Sir, why-" you couldn't understand why his voice tone changed. "Can't you get your money back?"

"It has your name on it, and my boy's too, it was a set, I can't return it" he denied. You didn't know what to do, doubting if to accept it or not. He saw it in your face, you discussing with yourself, your doubt. He doesn't know why, but he got so mad, he didn't give you another second to doubt, and crushed the pretty box with his hands, to then throw it into the trash can next to the door, walking away without giving you a second glance.

You stayed there, in shock, not knowing what to do. You walked to the bin, empty, with only the crushed box inside, and took it out, you couldn't let something so valuable be dumped. You examinated it, gold with a little sun, matching the little star in the baby's necklace, your initial and the baby's in the back, so pretty, you had never received something so valuable before.

You left the boy sleeping and went to your room, feeling scared of going to his office to say goodnight like everyday.

Why didn't you? He stayed up for hours, waiting for you, and then after the clock sounded at midnight, he walked to see you in the guest house.

He had almost forgotten how the place looked, never finding a reason to visit the place until that moment.

Your room was in the second floor, the living room had the tv on and different bags on your table from all the shopping he sent you to do with his card, the little box he had choosen caught his attention too. He smiled, satisfied with your actions, you never disappointed him.

You were deep asleep, not feeling his presence. He watched you, you were wearing a white tank top that showed your nipples through the cheap fabric.

You shouldn't be wearing that, you should be covered in jewels and the best fabrics, he thought.

He got closer, watching your face. His hand moved on his own, he swears, he didn't mean to, but your skin was magnetic. His hand touched the strap of your tank top and moved it, your tits were so big they were about to spill over the clothes, and he wanted to move the bedsheet away to see what were you wearing down, so he did.

God, you wore nothing, only covering your pussy with your panties.

He saw shift your body, feeling the cold air touch you. You showed him your back, and when he saw your peachy ass he decided that was the night, that was the night you would become his.

He would take you, you wanted or not.

He had tried so hard, showering you with compliments and gifts, how could you reject him like that before? He felt so hurt, he did everything for you, how could you be so cold towards him?

You didn't leave him an option.

He pressed his body against yours, smelling your shampoo from the hair that covered your pillow. His hips touched your ass, his boner presenting itself and feeling your clothed skin.

His hand wanted to roam around but he didn't want to wake you up, so he did his best to softly move his hand to the front of your panties, hugging your side.

His hand entered the rim of your panties and felt the hair you had there, he liked that, a natural feeling, fertile.

The tip of his fingers caressed your little mount, smooth, like caramel. Your ass pressed more against him and he had to bite his lip to not moan, so much time had passed since the last time he fucked someone his body physically hurt him, he wanted to open your legs and push his dick immediately, but he had to enjoy you a bit more, all well done has its benefits, he reminded himself.

His fingers made circles on your clit, and your pussy, even with you asleep, started to respond to his touch.

Fuck, that's my girl, he thought.

It was getting wet, so wet, he moved his hand to his face and smelled you on his fingers. A little drop was about to fall and he decided to lick it, a mature flavor, like a woman that needed a man to break her.

That was it, that pushed all sanity out of him and he pulled down his slacks. The tip of his cock, red and furious, was leaking, and he pushed it between your thighs.

It was hard, your thighs were so thick they almost left no room for him, but you had already dripped enough to make it easier, and with the help of his spit on his dick he did it.

I want to put it in, I need to put it in, his mind was racing and his breath was getting more and more loud. You would wake up in any second, and he couldn't wait for it, he wanted to smash you to the mattress and fuck you like an animal, to cum inside and breed you like you deserved.

His pleads were heard and you opened your eyes, confused with what was going on, you felt the pressure between your legs, and your body hot and wet, but why? How?

"Sorry baby, It'll be quick, just once, okay?" He whispered behind you and you turned your head to look at him, he smiled at you and gave you a peck on the lips.

"What? What?" You asked, just waking up and regaining your senses. "Sir?"

Oh god, he loved when you called him Sir, always with that soft voice and those full lips.

He separated himself and moved you to your back, he quickly opened your legs and situated himself between them, pushing your underwear to the side, almost hurting you of how strongly he did it. he appreciated you hole for a good second, so plump and glowing even in darkness, ready for him.

He may not have noticed all your refusal, he had covered your mouth with his hand after the kiss, and when your hands started to punch his chest he simply smiled and grabbed your hands with his other hand. "Did you know that something was stolen from the mansion today?" You stopped punching him and looked at him, not understanding what was going on. "It was a bracelet, with my son and his mother's initial, gold, really expensive, and all the maids said they saw you wearing it" Your eyes shook, you tried to deny under his hand. "It's okay honey, I forgive you, you just need to be a good girl from now on, okay?" Tears fell down your cheeks, it was a gift! You repeated on your head.

It was just a gift, how could he used that to backfire you, it had his wife's initial, that was right, but it was your initial too!

"I'll move my hand okay, and then I'll fuck you, don't worry, I'm sure you'll like it" he murmured. The light of the night covered him, trespassing the white curtains, like he did in your room.

He moved his hand and you could talk, finally "you said it was a gift" you cried.

"It was, but you rejected it, didn't think that would hurt me? You should've accepted me while I was kind" his fingers were pounding your insides. You squirmed, sensitive, feeling his long fingers work you like nothing.

"I'm... Sorry, Sir" you tried to say. "Please"

"It's okay baby" he replaced his fingers with the tip of his dick "I accept your apology" he inserted it completely in a single thrust.

You opened your mouth, air leaving your lungs and insides moving to accept him, he was so big, your eyes got blurry with the pain tears.

He started slow, but quickly got bored of the pace, and when he had enough he pushed your legs up, watching his dick sink inside you deeper. He exhaled, it felt perfect, your nails on his forearms, hurting him, and your pussy insides caressing him. So perfect.

His hips moved harder, and then he was mating pressing you to the bed. You were so soft and inviting like he imagined. Your cunt was accepting him in a second, knowing he was good enough for you.

Your cheeks were wet with tears, those pretty cheeks, he wanted to slap them to make them even more flushed.

"My angel, you're gonna be the best mother" he said, cock pressing you harder to the mattress, you fell as if your body was sinking into it, moaning and holding yourself to his arms to not fall deeper, where? you didn't know, but you felt like you were about to.

"Please no, not inside" you begged, music to his ears. You tried to think about other things, how would you go after that, where would you hide, who could you ask for help. He saw you thinking too much and put one of his hands around your throat to shut up your pleas and the voices inside your head.

Not a single sound could leave your throat, and the air restriction made you dizzy. You slapped his hand so he'd let you breath again, but he didn't flinch. His pelvis ruthlessly smashing you with force, making your legs tremble.

"Mine, mine, forever mine" he bite his lip and smiled, pumping your insides, filling you with the thickest cum you've ever felt, so sticky it would certainly stay inside, adding to that, the way his hips didn't move away for a second, it would leave anyone pregnant.

He brushed off the hair over your face, and still with the hand on your throat, he left a soft kiss over your lips, still inside you.

You couldn't think properly, you hadn't realized you came when he put his hand on your neck, making a mess over the bed, and the last thing that passed through your mind before you passed out was that you would never accept a single gift from him again.

Except, nine months later, you'd recieve another one, obligated.

[xjulixred45x]

I NEED a continuation of that satosugu x bully!reader thing you wrote

Okay okay😚 i will do it, i will make this a little long, enjoy it~ and thanks for the Request ❤️

They mean a continuation of this one

Bully! SatoSugu x Bully! Reader

Genre: Headcanons

Reader: female

Warnings:EXPLICIT BULLYING (not towards reader! rather she is the bully along with the boys. Don't do this in real life btw, it's horrible), reader has a bad family situation, reader has SEVERE attitude problems, surprisingly good friends Bully! SatoSugu? Ambiguos if this a Romantic poly relationship or a Platonic one(it's Upon You)strange amount of Fluff towards the end.

JUST TO CLARIFY, BULLYING IS SHIT AND ANYONE WHO DOES IT IS A HORRIBLE PERSON, NO MATTER THE REASON. THE BULLYING DESTROYS PEOPLE, THIS HAS NO INTENTION TO ROMANTICIZE THE IDEA OF BULLYING, BUT TO TAKE REFERENCE TO THE TROPE FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE.

reader was someone... difficult to say the least.

From the first day he set foot in high school the only thing he did was cause some kind of trouble.

The students were afraid of her, her volatile nature made it difficult to know what she was going to do or what was going to provoke her.

teachers even started taking precautions around her to stay safe from her outbursts. which were a little bit of everything, from robberies, insults, physical violence, etc.

without forgetting that the girl's class attendance was irregular and inconsistent. just like your notes.

She hated everyone and it seemed like everyone hated her.

That's why he constantly moved between schools when the previous one had had enough of his antics.

which generated a big discussion at home.

The neighborhood where the reader lived was not very good, but her house was worse.

her mother was long gone, and her father, a poor excuse of a man, didn't do much for a living other than berating her for her own bad behavior.

often ending in physical fights. It was the only way they both had to get out their frustration.

It was the only thing the reader knew.

but sincerely? Not everything was so bad.

She had built a reputation as a badass in every school she went to and scared her, she liked the feeling of finally being in control.

Being feared was fun, no one messes with you. You are at the top.

and at the same time you go unnoticed, since no one has the courage to say something against you (unless they want a beating)

Although it was definitely a bit monotonous at this point, the reader liked the feeling of being someone people were afraid of for once.

although something changed in 2007

That year, a reader was reintegrating into secondary education after a particularly unpleasant expulsion.

and thanks to that, it was somewhat difficult for her to find a school that would admit her this year until they forgot about the drama of the previous one.

and she went to the Jujutsu academy (strange name)

That was where he met them, in a way.

or rather, Gojo and Geto already knew about her beforehand.

It was difficult not to recognize her from the recent drama with the beating she gave to the gang of chimpiras in her old school (schools?)

Gojo was curious, Geto somehow felt threatened.

Gojo wanted to know how hard he could push this new student, to see her tough girl image crumble.

Geto took it more seriously, although he did not consider the reader a serious threat, a full-fledged bully with a reputation would definitely draw the spotlight on her for a while. They shouldn't let her think it was important.

The plan they had made was the standard.

First they would start with small incidents that did not seem malicious, so that she would lower her guard. so she would think it was a safe place.

Then those incidents would increase in quantity and more frequently, also starting to bring certain passive aggressive comments into the mix, but you still can't consider bullying, right?

Things like picking on her while she was distracted, grabbing her things without permission, commenting on her appearance, yes, all of that is wrong, but can you really say it's bullying? Are you really going to take a prank that seriously?

and from there, use everything they had.

stealing whatever she had for lunch, throwing food on her, yelling at her during breaks about how fat and ugly she was...

--use any kind of secret of her against her, throw her things in the trash, all so she would understand his place.

she was beneath them.

but things...did not turn out as they expected.

First of all, reader was much more aggressive than one would expect. every time Gojo tried to get closer it was like she sensed danger and moved away or worse, threw something AT HIM.

Like the time he "accidentally" tried to bump into her and she elbowed him in the ribs and told him to "watch where you were going, you idiot."

or when Geto tried to give her a little "constructive criticism" about her disheveled and reading appearance she just looked at him, with cold, dead eyes, and said "you're emo, you don't get a say in how I look" that was WOW.

Phase one failed completely. reader definitely did not act as they had expected, she definitely had experience.

which led to them having a surprisingly brilliant idea.

What if instead of trying to tear her down, they used her as another member of the team?

Sure, they were used to just working with the two of them, but Reader had a clear advantage in several areas where they couldn't reach (reputation, physical fights, etc.).

It was worth trying.

I imagine that at first they went directly to the reader to tell her the terms of this deal, how they would help each other stay on top and thus not bother her, in exchange she could do whatever she wanted.

simple, concise and effective. Reader I accept the terms.

and the following weeks would be HELL for the students and teachers of the Jujutsu institution.

Geto was considerably the smartest of the group, he was the one who put together the heavy tactics and the one who selected the best victims, calculating and deceitful.

He was a relatively good student too, at least when Gojo and the reader forgot their homework (almost always) they could copy his (it's not like he could do anything after all).

Gojo was surprisingly less evil but much more immature and childish. He was like a man child.

He had intelligence, yes, but it was not conventional intelligence, he had great creativity when it came to being cruel. to give you insults. to make you feel like shit.

Apart from the fact that he came from a big family with a lot of money, all of the group's actions were swept under the rug.

and then was reader.

What could you say she became the muscle of the trio.

reader, with her history of fights and bad reputation, could make everyone so afraid to talk to anyone about their problems that it was ridiculous.

It was like a silent warning, say one word and I will beat you to a pulp.

Surprisingly, they adapted very well to Reader, although it was strange at first, since they were "business partners" but Reader was very quiet and reserved when she was not beating up.

Gojo was the most determined to change this, he was part of the group now after all! At least you have to learn to have a little fun.

Geto was more concerned upon learning of the reader's long history of previous schools, at first because it could mean she could leave at any moment, but upon closer inspection, it's more that she doesn't want to lose this new addition to the group.

The three of them skip classes from time to time, or force the reader to attend more so they don't expel her. How do you expect them to make life miserable for the first years without her? Woman, put your will!

They both even share food with her or steal bentos so that she eats more when she realizes that there really is absolutely nothing coming during class time, she has to stay nourished to take the beating! They won't let her kick ass until she eats >:(

If there is any group work that they do or do have to do, it is most likely that they will do it at Satoru's house, it is the largest and with materials, and it is also fun for him to see his two friends with astonished faces when they see his house every damn time.

although definitely when they both have a more serious problem, they usually go to where the reader lives, since her father is not there most of the time.

Suguru usually goes to the trouble of throwing away the old sake and beer bottles, along with the old bills scattered throughout the house.

Satoru limits himself to sniffing around whatever is within his reach, but at least he has the option of not opening what is closed. But when he sees the family photos or how dirty everything is along with the broken things.

It makes them have a better understanding of Because she is a reader like that, she allows herself to be somewhat vulnerable with them by showing them how she lives.

and surprisingly they appreciate it.

And it's not like it remains reader only receiving a certain type of comfort.

Reader will be a shitty brawler, but if you mess with her Squad, you're Dead.

not only in the school environment, but in life in general.

When Suguru goes through a depressive episode, she and Satoru combine neurons to try to make him feel better, whether with company, games, food, etc. Same goes when Satoru is feeling shitty.

I think that in general, the reader is the "heart" of the group. Having a complicated life, she knows better about emotions and how she would have wanted to be comforted, in a certain way.

(only applicable to this fictional case, this may vary. Don't take it seriously)

For the same reason, when she is especially down, it usually means a day of rest for everyone, a break from EVERYTHING.

from family, from school, from responsibilities, from the whole world.

Just go play at some arcade, win silly prizes and discuss who will take it home.

play basketball and have Satoru kick their butts because neither Suguru nor the reader invites him.

go on a motorcycle and race who is faster.

eat ice cream and sleep on the street.

and miss school the next day, they missed yesterday after all, what does one more day matter?

On these types of days they can forget what kind of people they are, the things they do, what has happened to them.

Yes, in short they are all three DEPLORABLE and horrible beings, but at least they are deplorable and horrible all together.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Sorry if i take long in the works😅 i'm trying to keep publishing AND have a more healthy schetule with My other Activitys, so if i Slow down, it's bc i need it.

Thanks for the Request ❤️

[aniesvision]

𝘯𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘥 (𝘊𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘚𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘰 𝘹 𝘧! 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳)

warnings: suggestive, implied sex, that's all I guess (tell me if I'm missing something)

a/n: hi! I'm posting this again because I wanted a new account just to post my fics and not just another blog with my main account (I don't know how to explain it but yeah) also, english is NOT my first language so if anything's wrong please correct me!!

synopsis: Chris accidentally sees his best friend naked.

🪻🪻🪻

One thing I hate about getting ready at the Sturniolo's house is how bad they are in keeping things organized. And I don't mean clothes or anything like that, I mean they just don't say what they're gonna do next and that leads to me being naked on Chris's bathroom without knowing that he has no idea that I am here.

And, of course, he just opened the door.

-Shit, I'm sorry. -He apologizes, quickly closing the door and leaving me alone, paralyzed and speechless.

I close my eyes, trying to forget the embarrassing moment, putting on my outfit. It takes me a few minutes to get over it and finally leave the bathroom, the sound of the door being opened making Chris look up at me.

His cheeks were red, and probably so were mine. My first action was to adjust my skirt and giggle out of nervousness, my eyes now glued to my shoes.

-You can use the bathroom now. -I say, cutting the silence.

He just nods, making his way to his bathroom and locking himself inside. I sigh, annoyed with the situation, making my way to Nick's room to do my makeup and finish the final touches.

After making sure I was ready, I decided on waiting for them on the living room. We have a birthday party to attend, all of us being friends with the person for a long time, witch is why we decided on getting ready and going together.

I was mindlessly scrolling through TikTok when I feel someone sitting next to me. I look to my side, seeing a guilty Chris.

-I'm really sorry for earlier. -He runs a hand through his hair nervously and I give him a small understanding smile.

Even though I was nervous and embarrassed too, I didn't want to make things weirder, and it was so fast he'll probably forget about it by tomorrow anyways.

-It's fine. -I breath out, turning my head back to my phone.

We stay a few more seconds in silence, my brain just now processing that one of my closest friends saw me naked, and I couldn't help myself from joking about it.

-Hey, at least you've finally got the chance to see a girl naked, right? -I tease, nudging his shoulder playfully.

Chris rolls his eyes with a smirk on his lips, my laughter making him laugh as well.

-Shut up, whatever. -He mumbles, resting his head on the headboard of the couch.

Nick and Matt finally got ready and we all get into the car, hearing Chris yap all the way to the party. It doesn't take long for us to get there, and it was even faster for us to separate and move different ways. I walk to the bar, ordering a drink and taking a few sips before exploring the party.

I find my friends after a while, sticking with them and hearing them gossip about random people. When I feel the alcohol kicking in and making me less shy, I drag them to the dance floor with me, moving my body along the beat.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to enjoy it, since I've been dragged out of the saloon where the party was happening and trapped by a wall nearby, my eyes slowly recognizing Chris.

-What the fuck, I almost had a heart attack. -I raise one hand to my chest, taking deep breaths and looking around, confused on why we were here and why he wasn't saying anything at all.

-Okay, are you gonna explain or...? -I ask, looking at him.

He looked like he was fighting a battle in his head, not knowing exactly what to say, probably dragging me here with him by some sort of impulse.

-I... I don't know, I just... -He shakes his head, taking one step back.

-Are you okay? -I ask, tilting my head slightly, trying to figure out what was happening.

-I'm fine, I just... I think... -He hesitates, sighning and looking around nervously before making eye contact again. -You look pretty.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, giggling with his random compliment.

-Thanks, you look good too. -I smile, messing with his hair a little bit.

-No, I mean, I think you're really pretty. -He tries to explain, but it only makes me even more confused.

Chris notices my confusion and he starts tapping his feet rapidly, a bit anxious with what he was going to confess.

-I mean, I think your body looks great. -He says, making me laugh.

-Oh, so you think I'm hot? -I tease, his cheeks blushing.

-Alright, yeah, sure, you're hot.

We stay in silence for a few seconds, my smile never dropping as I studied him.

-You dragged me out of the party just to say that you think I'm hot? -I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, the cool breeze making me shiver.

-Not exactly. -He steps closer again, gently rubbing his hands up and down my arms to keep me warm.

-What else then? -I ask, seeing a small smirk on his lips.

-I think I want to kiss you. -He whispers, his eyes immediately dropping to my lips.

-What's stopping you from doing it? -I wrap my arms around his neck, his hands moving to my waist and squeezing it lightly.

-I don't want you to think I only want this because of what happened. I've been craving to kiss you for so long.

His words caught me by surprise, I've never noticed he wanted to kiss me. My only response was pulling him closer, showing him it was alright to do it. And he did. Our lips meet in a sweet kiss, that turns quickly into a heated and passionate one. His hands exploring my sides before stopping by my ass and squeezing it.

We were now just fully making out, but sadly we heard the door cracking open, making us separate. It wasn't the best place or moment to even think about anything that happened, so we walk into the party again.

Me and Chris didn't stop flirting with each other all night, but we didn't want to tell anyone about it, so it stayed in between us.

And now, a few months later, it's still our secret, but since that night we do a lot more than just kissing.