#knowing is safe

[gremlin-writes-angst]

Knowing is Safe Ch.3

2858 words

Fandom: Redacted ASMR/ Redacted Audio / Redactedverse

Couple: Cutie/Geordi

TW/CW: Parental Emotional abuse/ Neglatful parents/ Divorce / Anxiety/ Paranoia / Talk of Non-consensual mind reading

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

This timeline is different than the original so I'll explain it

First the video "Your boyfriend asks for your trust" and then Knowing is Safe Chapter 1 is what's going through cuties mind that night/ video. Knowing is Safe chapter 2 is a couple weeks later. Then the video "Your Boyfriend final draws the Line" and about three months later Knowing is Safe chapter 3.

Don't be afraid to give me constructive criticism or point out my mistakes, I want to improve.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

It wasn't the first time.

And yet every week, every Saturday, when you saw him, in front of that building. always dressed semi-formally. A button-up tucked into some nice pants. With his lips downturned, not a full frown but it still pained you to see it.

When he sees you it changes. His face fills with love before quickly disappearing again. 

You hold onto that second of love. You have to. It's why you're here.

No

It's why you started

Now it's for you

As you get closer to him, he backs away.

He's running away

He can't stand you

He's scared of you

You breathe, deep. You recognize your thoughts as anxiety. That's the first step. 

You take a moment and watch as he grabs the door and holds it open for you.

A gentleman, he's always been

"You first."

You smile and then duck your head slightly. Not wanting him to see the pain in your eyes.

Geordi approaches the receptionist, he's always the one who checks in.

You still find it scary. To express to this almost stranger that you and Geordi need outside help.

You know he knows that, you never told him but, he knows you.

He loves you

Does he?

He does.

" They'll call us when they're ready."

He tells you before sitting a chair away.

I want him

Why won't he sit next to me?

You know why 

It's your fault

It is

Your names are called, and you both follow the therapist down to the same room as always. Geordi makes small talk. 

He's changed

He's more sociable

I'm glad

He seems to like it

Like clockwork you and Geordi sit on one couch, each at a different end

Too far

For you

He needs the space

He deserves the space

You deserve the space.

"Have you two decided if you're ready for the memory extraction? It is often very emotional, we discussed last session how it works and why we do it. It's always up to you."

"I'm ready."

You typically aren't this outspoken in theory, but you've been wanting this for a while, you recall how your therapist explained memory extraction as a way for them to help you understand your own memory. She explained that most people are blinded by their own memories because it's the only life they've lived so everything seems normal, even when it's not.

You never can quite understand your memories or yourself. You always preferred others, to the point it became an addiction. one that harms your thoughts, feelings, and memories. Along with harming Geordi. Someone you never want to hurt.

"Okay then, I'll get started."

Mom!!

Mom!!?

Please!

Please open the door.

You were knocking on your own house door. Crying from fear, shame, and confusion. All you did was go out with your friends, with her permission for a few hours.

That's not why she locked you out

What?

You blocked her, of course, she's mad

Remember what happened to Lanie? 

Blocking was a trick your older sister Lanie taught you, to prevent other telepaths, such as your mother, from reading your mind. You'd done it before but never for this long. It was the first time your mother had no contact with you.

She's not going to let you in

She did last time

And the time before that

And the time before that

And all the other times

She's tired of it

But she threw us out

It's not our fault

Yes it is

We blocked her

We stopped her from reading our mind

Stopped her from protecting us

But I don't want her to continually be in my mind

I want privacy

I want to feel like I can

Think without being heard

Be Myself

You can

Not with her in here

She's your mom

But it hurts

What was that?

A twig

Snapping

A person?

Where?

I can't see

It's too dark

I'm scared

I want mom

“MOM! MOM SOMEONE IS OUT HERE. PLEASE LET ME IN. I'M SORRY I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.”

“THAT'S WHAT YOUR SISTER SAID AND WHERE IS SHE NOW?”

Your sister

She's safe

She taught us how to block mom

She did this

No, she helped us

She can help again 

You stop knocking on the door and start walking away. waterfalls fell down your face as you walked Away from home, away from your mom. You walked the streets in the dark, with no phone, no flashlight, just the clothes on your back. Summer clothes.

It’s cold

I know

I wish we had a jacket

Is this the street?

Yes

You turn down the street, wishing you were wearing warmer, longer clothes. When you picked out this outfit you didn't think you'd end up out this late, in the cold. 

People

Bad?

Its a group

Brown bags

Liquor?

Eyes down

Keep walking

What do I do if they approach?

I don't know

No weapon

Just our hands and feet

Keep walking

Keep walking

Speed up

Door

Inside

Sister

Safe

You open the door to the building your sister lives in quickly rushing to her apartment, even though no one was following you. You hoped you remembered correctly you'd only been here once before. Tears from earlier sprung back to life as you frantically knock on the door. Deja vu from minutes ago, days ago, and weeks ago floods your mind as you recall all the time you were at your house door, begging, crying, and screaming for your mother to open the door. Today was the worst of it, she'd never lock you out for this long, or this late, your knuckles were never this red and your voice was never this hurt. 

When the door opened, you were so relieved you gasped for air, air you needed from the crying. Your sister's tired face was washed away when she saw you. Her arm instantly pulls you in for a hug. You cried harder, ashamed of how emotional you were in a public space.

People are trying to sleep

I don't care

Your sister whispers in your ear

“It's okay. I know, I've got you.”

She slowly walked backward, you still in her arms, following her. When the two of you cleared the doorway she quietly closed the door.

“She- she locked me out-”

Your sister didn't need you to tell her that, she'd been through this before. 

“She- again-”

Your sister's head spun at that word and you could feel the heat her anger produced. Lanie had been kicked out once, it was a hot day and she ended up having a heat exhaustion, lucky your father arrived before she could have a heat stroke. Your father was a water elemental, he was able to hydrate your sister and cool her down. That week your father left your family. Later when your parents divorced, he lost custody of both of you. Though your sister, Lanie was 17 at the time and left as soon as she turned 18. Your mom doesn't know that she still lives in town, she told you it was because she didn't have the money to go further but, you know she's here for you. Though she didn't feel safe enough to contact you till last month. She hates that she didn't help you sooner.

“Come on baby, let- let's sit you down.”

She guides you to her couch and leaves to the kitchen, you can still see her as she fills a glass of water for you. You start to regulate your breathing, taking in the smell of your sister's apartment. It smells like brown sugar, she used to have a brown sugar candle she always lit in her room, and it's comforting to smell it again. Brings you back to talking and giggling in her room.

“Here. Drink up.” 

“ Ok I think that's enough”

You shook your head and looked up, dazed at the sudden pull from your memories. You look at the therapist. 

“What for?”

The therapist was taken aback by your question.

“Well, I figured it was a good stopping point, especially considering the content of this memory.”

You feel a hand squeeze yours, turning to see Geordi, closer than when you started. Till now you had forgotten your partner was even there. you become ashamed realizing he witnessed everything. he had seen how bad of a kid you were. You turned to him slowly.

“Are you ok?”

Confused, you didn't answer. His hands find one of yours, his hands are tight and shaking. Before he looks into your eyes.

“I'm sorry. “

You looked away, not having an answer. The therapist took this time to interrupt.

“This is the reason we do this, as Geordi and I see it, you were mistreated by your mother. She used her telepathic abilities to control and shame you. It also appears you saw this as normal or acceptable to an extent. Would you share why you felt that way?”

" She was protecting me, she just- she wanted- she told me she needed to know everything, to keep me safe, she kept me safe."

You feel Geordi squeeze your hand, but when you look over he's looking away from you.

"Your mother taught you that."

" Yes, it's how I've lived, I can't be safe if I don't know anything, I can't be clueless, I have to know everything, knowing is safe."

"Your mother brainwashed you into believing that you could only be safe if you were constantly using your ability. That's why there's such a disconnect between you and your own brain. You aren't used to spending time with your own thoughts. It's probably why you have so much anxiety when you're not in others' heads. I'd say it's why you became so dependent on Geordi and developed that separation anxiety."

The therapist took a quick look at the clock

"Our time is almost up. I think next time I should see you separately."

What?

I just got him back

He's touching me again

I can't let him leave again

Let him?

You don't control him

“Wait, why?”

“I think it would be best for you to talk about this alone.”

“I don't understand!”

“ We can do what you two prefer but often when one client has suffered abuse it is best to discuss it separately first before with your partner.”

“ Abused? I wasn't abused.”

The therapist took a breath and she almost seemed to expect this reaction. You frantically looked over at Geordi.

Does he think I was abused too?

You were

I was?

No

“I'm sorry we need to go - let's go home Geordi.”

“I understand. I'll call to discuss the next appointment.”

You made your way through the building and parking lot to your car, getting into the driver's seat. Geordi is a little behind. He opens the passenger door but doesn't get in. 

“Are you sure you should drive? You seem a little on edge. I could drive you home.”

“ I need to drive, I can't not be in control.”

”Ok.”

That was all he could muster to say as he climbed into the passenger seat, even if his car is a few parking spots over and he doesn't live with you anymore.

When he is buckled you started the engine and leave the parking lot. You always play music when you drive, but right now I don't care. Your brain was swarming with so many thoughts. You couldn't even understand most of it, so you just drove. You could hear a few words from Geordi but didn't pay much mind to them. 

When you pulled into the driveway you were pissed. You did everything aggressively, parking, turning the engine off, slamming the car door. Geordi stopped talking and started yelling. You were already in the house as he was getting out of the car. You left the door open pacing and waiting for Geordi to walk through the door. When he did he was still yelling, laced with worry and fear, little anger.

“Cutie what-”

“Do you think I was abused?”

You questioned him, your eyes swirled with so many intense emotions but your voice stayed even. 

He shut up and stared, he started to stutter trying to answer but nothing came out. To you, that was answer enough. You moved to the couch, sitting down with your head in your hands. Geordi moves to close the door before sitting in front of you. 

He gently moved your hands out of the way, looking into your eyes.

“I- I can't decide for you. How you should feel about your mom. But I know that the way she treated you and your sister was wrong. So -so wrong.”

“I'm wrong?”

“What? Baby no?”

“I did what she did. To you. I always - I'm always in your brain, listening. Like she did.”

Geordi takes a breath. You're right and he wants to hold you accountable but with your state right he wants to be careful.

“ It was wrong. But you stopped right?”

Your words come out fast and panicked

“Yes, I promise I haven't read yours, or anyone else's mind in- in a long time. I only use it for work. Work only”

Geordi knew of your new resistance to using your power but didn't realize that you were completely abstinent outside of work, which worried him. Quitting cold turkey doesn't sound like the best for you. He'll have to remember that for later.

“I believe you. But that's something your mother didn't do, she never learned, and she never tried to get better, like you are now. From what I saw, she used her powers to control you, you never did that to me. Tell me why you are always reading my thoughts and others.”

You took some time to breathe before answering. 

“ To protect you.”

You were hesitant but want to be as honest as possible.

“And myself. People- they lie, all the time, and it's hard to trust them. I just wanted to know the truth. To be safe.”

“See your reasons are justifiable, you just took it too far. And I think, well I'm no therapist but, maybe your trust issues are what you should focus on first. Because it seems that's the root of your addiction.” 

You nod and laugh.

“ You're better than a therapist.”

He laughs

He is so beautiful

I love him

I miss him

" I'm not sure I am. I mean you've really improved,y'know working with her. You can always talk to me."

"Thank you. it's easier to talk to you about how I feel, you're not professional, you're comfortable, even if it's just our hands-"

You pull your hands out of his. Just realizing that you were touching him.

"I'm sorry, I - I didn't cross a boundary did I?"

He looks deep into your eyes and takes your hands again.

"No, I did this, I wanted to touch you, to comfort you. I’ve "

He clears his throat

"I've missed it, a lot. Every session the urge to comfort you and touch you becomes stronger."

You smile.

"Me too. And thanks, for comforting me, even though you have every right not to."

"I still love you."

You look away, your eyes catching the brown sugar candle.

Geordi follows your eyes, realizing now why that scent was your favorite. He was slightly grateful to say this without looking you in the eyes. it felt like he was saying it for the first time, even though it used to be so common.

"I do, I Love you so much, it's why I'm still here, it's why I'm comforting you, it's why I left. I know for you, it's hard to feel or remember your love if it is not constantly in front of you. So I thought I'd remind you. I love you cutie. I'm proud of you. I've missed you."

He sees a few tears roll down your cheek. You nod. He counties.

"I've missed sharing a bed, a kitchen, a bathroom, I've missed sharing a home with you."

You whip your head back to face him.

"Geordi, you don't live here. I basically kidnapped you."

He laughs, your brain was previously occupied, you'd forgotten he didn't live here anymore. You start to panic again.

"Hey it's okay, I got in the car willingly, I chose to come with you. You're not a kidnapper."

His smile calms you.

'I'm sorry I wasn't thinking properly, I thought, y'know, that you lived here."

"Maybe I should?"

Your body fills with excitement. So does his. 

Wait!

Don't.

You're not ready.

"I'm not ready."

Geordi's face falls a little but rises back.

" That's ok. I’m - I’m impressed."

"What? Why?"

" Because you clearly want it, but something told you that it wasn't time. And you listened"'

"I didn't think I'd be able to stay out of your thoughts...sorry. I do want to be with you again but, I can't hurt you again."

He pulls you into a hug. A soft whisper leaves his lips.

"Thank you, for protecting me"

He pulls away.

" You can protect me in other ways. And I can protect you. I will protect you."

[dykegeology]

HI IF YOU READ A POST SAYING 'IT SUCKS HOW EVERYONE ASSUMES WOMEN ARE STUPID AND THINKS THEY SHOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING VAGUELY RISKY EVER' COULD YOU PERHAPS THINK OF SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THAN GOING 'YEAH WOMEN ARE SOOOOO PARANOID AND THOUGHTLESS' MAYBE YOU COULD GO OUTSIDE AND FIND SOME INTERESTING BIRDS OR PERHAPS LEARN ABOUT IDENTIFYING MOSS

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

[amikoroyaiart]

Some 22 and 09 angst doodles

[ocdhuacheng]

So laios and fallin have been ostracized by society since they were children, Marcille has lifelong grief from constantly outliving her loved ones that leads her to dark magics, kabru’s village was destroyed by monsters, senshi and mithrun both have horror movie level backstories, izutsumi was sold as a freak show attraction, and then there’s chilchuck, who is a normal ass divorced middle aged man. And somehow he’s the most shady and secretive out of all of them

Edit can y’all please let me live I didn’t make this post bc I think chilchuck doesn’t have his own trauma or doesn’t experience racism or that being a union boss is a walk in the park or whatever I made it because him lying that he cheated on his wife to get the others to stop asking about his family was funny as fuck. Come on.

[hehether]

Let's get high on ibuprofen together

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

[chloesimaginationthings]

Will the real FNAF Helpy please stand up?..

[literarymerritt]

Thinking about Them 🥺

Art Tumblr | Twitter

[triona-tribblescore]

TW// Abuse implication

Thinking about possible Vox and Angel's interactions and how they'd go down. Theres such a unique mix of hatred to each other and common ground with their different experiences with Valentino, has me thinking.

Also just want to clarify I love Vox's character a LOT but ofc obv don't sympathise with him or think he is any way shape or form a decent individual, cant with stupid toxic dumbass x

AND IF YOU SEE ANY MISTAKES OR TYPOS NO YOU DONT- (i was so tired when drawing it forgive me TwT)

[lucidloving]

Isabel Allende, The House of The Spirits // Anne Carson, Red Doc> // F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Short Stories // Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous // 肉包不吃肉, The Husky and His White Cat Shizun // Bernhard Schlink, The Reader (trans. Carol Brown Janeway) // Heart Like Yours— Willamette Stone

[gremlin-writes-angst]

Knowing is Safe

984 words

Fandom: Redacted asmr

Couple: Geordi/Cutie

Takes place during the newest Geordi audio(Your boyfriend asks for your trust) So spoilers for that video. It is what I imagine Cutie says and thinks. I plan on doing another part. All of Geordi's lines arent mine I just typed out what was said in the audio.

Words indented like this are Cuties thoughts

Trigger warning: Unhealthy parenting, Implied eating problems, argument, non-consensual mind reading.

Let me know if I missed a trigger.

Please comment and reblog, it lets me know people like my stuff and encourages me to write more!!!!!!

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for more!

Past

“Repeat after mom, Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Knowing keeps us safe.”

“Good. I know I've given you this talk before, but you still haven't learned. We were given this ability, to protect ourselves, and the ones we love. Others believe we just listen in, that our ability is simple. It's not, we are inspectors, we tune into a brain, and we will know all we need, including who wants to hurt us.”

This is stupid, it's just re-

“No”

You looked up at your mom, confused.

“You said you 'd stop reading my mind without asking.”

“I know but as I said, telepathic powers are to protect us. As your mom, I need to be in your mind, as much as possible, to protect you. whether you want me in there or not. Do you understand sweetie?”

You nod, whispering yes in your head. Your mother preferred thoughts over words, she says that they're pure.

Present

“You didn't always have powers, you lived your whole childhood without them, without hearing anyone's thoughts. You were raised in a house where people had magic and you didn't, not at first, not until you were old enough. Didn't that ever make you feel vulnerable, different?”

“All the time, I never had a moment to myself, she was always in my head. But it was a good thing, she always knew when I needed help, and I never had to tell her anything. It was a good thing, that's what she taught me, she protected me, and that's what I want to do for you. I just want to always know you're ok and safe. I don't want to talk about this anymore, I can't.”

“Okay.”

 The oven goes off, and before you can ask Geordi, refuses the food.

“I think I'm going to sleep.”

Your mouth opens but shuts when Geordi specks.

“ Because I'm tired and you don't seem to have much to say anyway, so maybe sleep will  help clear my head a bit”

“Ok, ill- ill sleep on the couch toni-”

"No, I don't want to sleep separately tonight I'm upset but that doesn't mean I want you gone, it's our bedroom, it's our bed, both of us just because, just because I'm hurt doesn't change that. Good night."

And he's gone, leaving you alone, with your thoughts, something you've never been used to. You look down at the dinner he made, letting your thoughts take over.

I can't eat.

but he made it for you.

That was before you hurt him.

But he still loves you.

But he didn't say it.

But he does.

How do you know?

He still wants them.

To use them.

No, he loves them.

Or he's just not cruel enough to kick you out this late.

He loves them.

No h-

Stop, theyre not breathing.

Shit!

breath.

Breath.

Breath.

Good, keep breathing.

Eat, you forgot to pack lunch.

No cant, not hungry.

That's a lie.

Don't want to, not worth it.

Then go to bed.

What bed?

Your bed.

Yours and Geordi's bed.

Not ours anymore.

He said-

Shut up, why am I such a mess, my thoughts aren't like this, there organized.

You love him.

That's not an answer.

Your worried.

Worried, of course I'm worried, I'm always worried about him. He doesn't let me in, and I can't keep him safe from outside.

He doesn't need your protection.

He doesn't need you.

Your worried about losing him.

I'm always afraid of that, nothing in the world is trustworthy.

You worried he'll leave.

You shake your head and decide you need rest. You walk to the couch when you remember that he wants you in his room.

It's your room to.

You hesitantly walk to your bedroom, then back to the kitchen, then back again. You repeat to yourself to breathe as you open the door, you take a deep breath, letting the comforting scent of your partner calm you. 

"Geordi? Are you asl-"

"No, I'm not asleep yet."

You take a few steps, towards the bed, looking at Geordi’s back, so stiff, so uncomfortable, you want him to relax, be happy.

Maybe massage would help.

You think he wants you touching him?

What about snuggling?

Even worse, you'd smother him.

You already do.

I didn't mean to. 

Doesn't matter, he hates you.

He doesn't hate you, he loves you.

How would you know?

Say it, if he says it back-

Then he's just being nice.

no - he's not like that, he tells the truth.

He didn't at the pool party.

You didn't give him the chance.

Shut up. Just say it.

"Geordi? I um I love..."

Come on finish the sentence.

What do you love? Breaking his boundaries?

No.

Then why do you do it.

"I love you to"

See they love you

He's lying.

No, he not.

Check then.

No don't, that'll make things worse.

Only because you'll know the truth, that he doesn't love you and he's disgusted by you.

You enter Geordi’s thoughts, just to get away from your own, but you regret it. He's fighting with himself. Your heart breaks more, he doesn't know if he loves you, and worst you know he has every right to question his love. Even when you leave his thoughts, your thoughts repeat as your back is facing him, but not touching.

“Maybe trying isn't enough”

It isn't.

Then just stop.

Stop trying?

No.

Yes.

Just stop trying and start succeeding.

What?

Don't enter his mind, ever

ever?

Ever. not even if he says it's okay.

But what about his safety?

He’ll still be safe.

But why?

To make him happy.

 But I'll be miserable.

And paranoid.

But he’ll be happy.

He's been hinting at this.

When?

He said you're too used to being in people's minds, so stop.

But that's my job.

Then stop doing it outside your job.

You need the break anyways.

You'll have more energy for work.

There are no cons.

 Okay.

Then it's settled, this power is only for work.

[lazylittledragon]

Please please tell me that Tara just loves baby dekarios

oh she’s invested from day ZERO

top 10 pictures taken right before a specimen jar ‘accidentally’ falls off a shelf ^^^

[lilislegacy]

i feel like percy is the person that people bring with them when they need to go somewhere or do something potentially dangerous. or more realistically, he’s the one who people’s loved ones tell them to take with. it just makes people feel better knowing percy is there. you know what i mean?

sally has a meeting with someone who sounds a bit weird (and paul can’t go)? paul tells her to bring percy.

paul needs to go to a really sketchy part of town? sally asks him to bring percy

piper got a weird anonymous note and needs to go meet them at a location? annabeth tells her to bring percy

leo has to go get some magic machine part from a really shady dealer? piper tells him to bring percy

frank has to go on an unofficial quest to investigate some shady legion history, and hazel has to stay with camp? hazel tells him to bring percy

and it’s NOT because any of these people can’t take care of themselves. they are all strong and brave and badass, and can handle anything. but for one, percy is intimidating as hell. his “wolf stare” sends literal gangs running the other way. you can avoid conflict before it even happens, because no one is messing with percy. and second, percy just makes you feel safe. his presence is comforting. not only has he been through all the demigod-hero-world-saving shit, and is powerful as hell, but he also grew up in new york city. he can handle pretty much any situation. plus he’s super sweet and funny, and you can always count on him to make you laugh and decrease your anxiety. and he’s always got your back. he takes care of the people he loves.

he’s just the best company. for so many reasons.

when in doubt, bring percy

[megaawkwardhuman]

ah just another thursday I see

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me