#like yes i know it’s a spectrum and there are so many different identities and ways under which romantic attraction occurs

[moonjade]

I love being aro-spec but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m “faking it” :/

[rin-and-jade]

Are You? What about You? Them? : A Post about Differentiating Types of Parts.

We all know that spiderman meme where they pointed to each other because they share similar qualities that confuses their selves;

Like this. Right?

They all sounded so similar that we neither knew which is which at first glance..

And so, at the end of this post you will be confident in pointing out who is who, just like a spiderman who can tell apart from its own multiverse friends, that is. So let's get pointing to the smaller details!

How it works..

We know what it's like to be conscious, yeah? What if i were to tell you that yes, there are varying degrees of consciousness, and that we all can fluctuate on those levels too?

The levels of consciousness can vary from only being aware of its physical surroundings and react instinctually (lesser level), to being able to self-introspect and understand what they like and dislike (higher level). This is all dependent on many different factors and i want to clarify that it takes more than just 'awareness' to tell a fragment apart from an alter for example. But, still important to know what level its at.

This explains why shards, and fragments are less flexible when facing an issue, as they're more limited or not as equipped as an alter in terms of reasoning or level of logic/knowledge. So why is that? It can be from the intensity of dissociation, and other things like how much implicit and explicit memories it retains, this includes experiences.

How to tell them apart..

Sure, theres a spectrum to this too, as every type of part can be a bit different though still can categorized loosely, not meaning it has to fit perfectly to the box :

1. No sense of identity and, or tangible form/shape outside of performing a specific task, or hold a single memory/mood. (Shard)

2. Small sense of identity (a trait that is distinctive/distinguishable), possibly have a less blurry appearance than level 1 and still performs specific tasks, have little to no memories/range of emotions. (Shard)  

3. Mish mash of small qualities, but not enough to encapsulate an identity/personality, may have a sense of existing, and can emotionally react to environment/situation. Usually have a defined innerworld form, and may retain some memories but depends on origin, still fixed on role. (Fragment)

4. Has a developed dominant facet, which can be seen more lively and autonomous compared from level 1-3,, but still a bit rigid and have a narrow/limited view in general. Can distinguish and identify feelings, and have goals/hobbies/interests, self curiosity/exploration to function outside role. (Fragment, leaning to alter)  

5. Has a multifaceted personality in which it cannot defined by one word, fully knows its likes and dislikes, long term goals, morals, and a complex view on life. May have developed purpose outside role job, pursuing self-fulfillment. (Alter)

So in conclusion, shards are not wholly self aware and rely on current implicit memories, from my own system experience shards feels so blank, lifeless, somewhat robotic. Fragments have a partial sense of autonomy, it can rationalize and react to its own accord, reason, and learn/explore,, though had not fully know who they are. Alters are like any other usual people, where it has accumulated knowledge and experience that had shaped then throughout existing, reinforcing a faceted sense of self and purpose.

Growth to perfection..

Are you also wondering if shards and fragments can grow to an alter? The answer is, yes! Though some can be stuck in a certain stage, which is nothing to be ashamed about, and doesn't need changing.

Though, this takes a really long time and process, i note my own fragments will reach to a stage where it barely matches the loose category of an alter in 6 months, and to be a fully developed alter, it might need a whole year (okay this is my own calculations, other people will have it slower or faster).

To grow a shard towards a fragment category, my theory is that you have to interact with, and let them immerse/exprience the real world by supervision (outside of its role task) to develop more environmental, and self awareness. They will be very limited in terms of knowledge and names so this is a good time to start introducing these, and they may not even realize they exists themselves before sometimes,, try nudging them activities to experiment, and foods to taste, examine emotion wheel.. theres a lot to start from.

To grow a fragment to an alter, start introducing other views and complex topics, the goal here is to create a more developed understanding of life. From my experience, all my fragments have a dominant facet, e.g. angry dog vibes; and slowly let them learn how to be soft, or act more polite,, it will slowly solidify as a new facet, now capable of being kind and not always behaving threatening/i-will-still-bite-you attitude to every situation, as it now can be more flexible which facet it should use depending on situation.

Last words..

So, you are now an educated spiderman who can not only point out, but understand the basics of why,, and how to grow a part to have a better sense of awareness!

Let me know in the comments, i would like to hear why the part you had specifically picked/chose is possibly a shard/fragment/alter from your own reasoning and interactive mini discussion with me,, lets finally put them into real practice yeah?

Also, Happy Valentines, *offers you a free heart chocolate*

- j, your educational fiancée

[thief-of-eggs]

I love the way you write Alastor and the way you write Luci. I know so many writers who maintain a very specific stereotype about aroace people, e.g. “Ew don’t touch me, you’re gross and I want to kill you because i would rather DIE then be touched” or “haha this character hates every single type of affection and is snarky because of it” and it’s just so icky to me… like yes some aroace people hate touch but they don’t hate other people, arocas people can have friends

yes alastor is snarky, it’s not because he’s aroace. he’s just a bitch (said with love) and his sexuality shouldn’t be used as his only personality trait,

idk if any of that rant made sense but I js wna say how much I appreciate the way you write and characterize Radioapple :3

Firstly- thank you so so much, this is so amazing to hear!!! It means a lot to me to have a canon aroace character, which is why I love diving into/embracing it in the fics I write!!

100% as you said, Alastor is a bitch because Alastor is a bitch, nothing to do with his sexuality. He’s a bit self centered, a bit harsh, a bit inconsiderate- but that’s just him and his sparkle. Not his sexuality.

And as for the hating touch- I wish more people understood how asexuality and aromanticism is a spectrum! It’s not a one size fits all! It’s huge!!!

Personally, I like to think that Alastor doesn’t particularly like touch due to past trauma, as well as sensory issues. I don’t think it’s all to do with his aromanticism (I think he’s more the type to be indifferent to romantic things, not repulsed by them) But I do think his touch aversion is real, just not stemming from his aroace identity.

And of course, I’m not in Alastor’s head (or Vivzie’s) but I like to think that touch is OK with Alastor, so long as it is on his terms- and I think “on his terms” includes those people whom he’s given either silent or spoken permission to in regards to touching him. Which is a huge difference from “I hate all forms of touch and I’ll kill you if you touch me”

We see with Mimzie and Rosie and Niffty that Alastor is OK with touch- he lets them initiate touch and he doesn’t bat an eye. Which is why I think so long as he’s comfortable with them, then touch is somewhat permitted. He may not feel the same sort of butterflies or attraction etc through touch- but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy it for what it brings to him!

I think it’s a big trust thing, and I also like to think it changes day to day. What’s alright on one day may be too much on the next. But I also like to think that Luci would be 100% understanding of that.

As you said- it’s not just all or nothing with aroace people, and it sucks that that streotype exists. At its core, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction- but that says nothing against physical touch in general. And aromanticism at its core is a lack of romantic attraction- which again, says nothing on physical touch!

Not to mention, love is such a complicated, multi faceted thing. Aroace people are not incapable of love. Aroace people are not stony beings who do not crave reassurance and human connection. We just crave it differently than others.

[monarch-of-jack]

I might be the only one here. But the reason I feel conflicted when I see people shipping and sexualizing Aspec characters, is because I don't trust most of you to be respectful about it. Not to mention some of you straight up arent.

Yes, Aspecs are an incredibly diverse group of people. I KNOW. I've been in their circles for well over 10 years. But do you all really care about that?

If you don't, then you're really just using it as an excuse to ignore their identities.

Let me make it very clear that I support exploring ALL the nuanced ways that someone can be Aspec. We are so much more varied than just sex-repulsed Aces and romance-repulsed Aros. (Though those are still valid experiences, don't shit on them!)

There are Allosexual Aromantics. There are Alloromantic Asexuals. Aspecs in Queerplatonic Relationships. Grey-Aspecs, Demi-Aspecs, Oriented AroAces, Cupio-, Flux-, Lith-, Fray-, Recipro- Aego-, and a million other types of Aspecs. It's a huge spectrum.

And orientation doesn't equal action. There are sex/romance favorable Aspecs. There are kinky & kink favorable Aspecs. Aces that have and have had sex for whatever reason. Aros that are and have been in romantic relationships for whatever reason. Maybe they felt pressured. Maybe they were experimenting. Maybe they were still finding themselves. Maybe they were forced. Maybe they do it for their partner. Maybe they do it for money or their image. Maybe they just like it despite lacking attraction. Aspecs are people. They are all different and all equally valid in how they live their lives.

A character being Aspec literally just means they're lacking attraction in one way or another. So there's still endless possibilities in creating canon and fanon for them.

But are most of you really shipping characters like Alastor, Peridot, Jughead and co. as Aspecs, or are you looking for excuses to disregard their identity?

Have you actually educated yourself about their identities so you can portrait them accurately and respectfully? Are you infantilizing and patronizing them or make them act stupid? Do you make them pitiful, antisocial, or 'difficult to deal with'? Are you arguing with Aspec people when they point out something is problematic? Are you accepting input from Aspec people? Do you explain that you're shipping/sexualizing that Aspec character because of your specific headcanon or AU? Do you get angry if you have to clarify that after the fact? If you as an Allo, ship or sexualize Aspec characters, do you really do it with them still being Aspec?

The thing is, you can. But a lot of you don't. And that's why Aspec people react defensifely.

We have little to no representation in the media as it is. And yet you're annoyed when we ask you not to diminish or erase their identities.

I want to see Aspecs in all kinds of situations and with all sorts of preferences. But way too many of you are ready to shit on Aspec identities to get your fanon out.

I could go on for days about this. But the fact that some of you will get angy that I even made this post is exactly what I'm talking about.

[fallenrain40]

i know being aro and ace are separate things. but i feel for me, in some ways, me being ace seems to mix with my aro identity a lot. like, I'm sure I've said this many times before, but I see myself mostly as aroace as it's own, single unique identity rather than just "aro + ace", just like how red + blue is, yes, technically purple, but purple isn't "red-blue". it's purple, it is it's own color. and saying something is "red and blue", usually never means it's purple. it means that it's red and blue separately. this is how i see being aroace. some aroaces = purple. (those who see our identity as it's own thing, separate from just aromantic and asexual; while those two are what created it, it is something else once combined.) some aroaces = red and blue. (those who their identity aromantic + asexual, separately. this does make sense to me, I just don't personally totally feel this way.) and then ofc, there's people who see it in either way during different situations. also, because I am really liking this analogy, I want to use it a bit further. let's say aro is red and ace is blue. for someone who views their aroaceness as seperate, a greyromantic person may be light red + blue. for someone who views their aroaceness as a single identity, a greyromantic ace may be a more bluish-purple, since the red is less strong. this can also explain why it can (sometimes) be easier for someone who views their orientations as separate to figure out where they are on the spectrum. if you just have red and blue, you can just... see which color is brighter or if both are the same. however it can be harder in different lightings (say, under a red colored light, the red would look brighter than the blue, or just brighter than it really is) but ultimately, it's fairly clear. if you have purple, to actually figure out how much blue and red make up the color, you have to pull up the color values. you have to put your orientation in a perspective you wouldn't normally EVER see it in- (aka, looking at them separately) to figure it out. and, on top of that, lighting can also screw with it. so you could think you have it, then have to go and reevaluate later.

ANYWAYS i hope yall liked lil my mini essay here.

[zahri-melitor]

hi hello if it's not too much trouble, what comics would you recommend for someone trying to study the batfamily characters and dynamics for a project? I don't know which writers to avoid or which runs are considered bad characterization. I know this varies with opinion but you seem super familiar with the differences between fanon and canon stuff. don't worry about keeping the list short or anything, I don't have a problem with reading a lot

Honestly, this is a ‘how long is a piece of string’ question, but I can give you some pointers.

Which 'family' characters are you looking at, and which dynamics do you want? Because the thing is, this varies significantly over time. What I can do for you is roughly discuss a bunch of different eras, and what's good content to look at in each of them.

A shortcut - you're often well served by looking at a Gotham-wide Event during the period you're interested in. Sure, people often have some objections to some of the characterisation, but if you're looking at how characters interact, they're the best place to see lots of variations.

In addition 'bad characterisation' is largely in the eye of the beholder. There's actually less agreement on what is and isn't 'bad characterisation' than you might think - it depends on who you're talking to and what stories they like. Characterisation with comics characters is best thought of as a sliding spectrum - there's a range that most people will accept, and when characters go outside it people start getting unhappy. I'll try to note major shifts or universe resets or retcons along the way though.

Pre-Crisis:

Look there is very little in pre-crisis you need to look at for this. Sometimes people will pull stuff forward for Dick and Jason as Robin or Barbara as Batgirl, but largely things stand without this.

Post-Crisis:

I'm happy to walk you through post-crisis up to 2011. I'm still getting a handle on 2011 to present myself.

The Early Days: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Robin, Barbara as Batgirl

In the beginning, there was Batman. One day he went to Haly's Circus where he saw two acrobats falling and their devastated son...you know how this one goes.

Pretty much everything set in this period is flashback stories, so they frequently retread the same ground over and over. Want to see the Graysons fall? You're in luck! Choose one of the more than a dozen versions! (I'm not going to list them all even though I like many)

Quality stories looking at this period include:-

Batman Year One (1986) - Batman #404-407. I am recommending this, yes, even though it's Frank Miller, because it gets referenced a lot. It's a decent retelling and the best work Miller's ever done for the Bat books by a long shot. Bruce's origin story.

Robin: Year One (2000) - Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty. This is probably my preferred version of early Bruce and Dick stories, and it's conveniently got a sequel in...

Batgirl: Year One (2003) - Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty. Barbara's origin as Batgirl and the only one worth reading. These two update the Dick and Barbara as Robin and Batgirl dynamics into post-Crisis.

Batman Chronicles: The Gauntlet (1997) - Bruce Canwell. This is a single issue about the 'final exam' test Dick took to become Robin. I really enjoy it.

Robin & Batman (2021) - Jeff Lemire. A very recent update of early Dick as Robin. If you want something recent and quick, this is the pick. The characterisation is good but I have a bunch of quibbles with the details.

World's Finest: Batman/Superman (2022) - Mark Waid & Dan Mora. Here's a current ongoing for you! A rarity in that is set reasonably late Dick's time as Robin, and it also doesn't repeat identical beats to those above. Lots of Bruce and Dick, strong Silver Age vibes in relationships, and a lot of fun. A great intro to the wider DC simultaneously too.

Robin II: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Nightwing, Jason as Robin, Barbara as...around

Honestly this is a period I'm weaker on. Jason's post-crisis run as Robin is pretty compact: Batman #401-428 and 'Tec #568-582. Jim Starlin's the writer who wanted to kill Jason off.

Batman #408-411 (1987) - Max Collins. The original post-Crisis 'Dick Becomes Nightwing' and 'Jason becomes Robin' story.

The Diplomat's Son - Batman #424 (1988) - Jim Starlin. This is the issue everyone talks about, where Felipe Garzonas dies. You should read it just to understand the debate, if nothing else.

A Death in the Family - Batman #426-428 (1988) - Jim Starlin. Jason's death.You should read this if you want to understand the dynamics surrounding these events and what actually happened.

The New Teen Titans - look I can't get my head around the numbering of NTT, but if you want to go into this there are eleventy million guides. NTT is very popular. This is Dick as Nightwing during this period, Marv Wolfman and George Perez working together, and considered by people who like Nightwing during this period as the definitive version. Jason appears in a few issues.

Nightwing Year One (2005) - Nightwing #101-106, Chuck Dixon. Now this is going to be extremely controversial, but I do actually recommend people read Nightwing Year One. It's a retcon, but it's an important retcon because it lays out the dynamics of Jason's time as Robin as comics writers have changed them to be following his death. If you want to see how comics writes Jason as the 'angry' and 'risky' Robin following his death, this is the most compact way to see how the narrative changed.

Batgirl Special #1 (1988) - Barbara Randall. Barbara's last appearance as Batgirl. Randall is Barbara's best contemporary Batgirl writer, and this is a loving sendoff for a character who was about to get shredded.

The Killing Joke (1988) - Alan Moore. You should probably read it. Barbara is shot in the spine. However if you want to skip it that's completely fine as the relevant beats have been retold almost as many times as the Graysons have fallen.

Gotham Knights #43-45 (2003) - Scott Beatty. This is probably the best telling of the fallout of Jason's death on the family, particularly Barbara's reaction. If you want Batfam dynamics this is what you should look at.

New Beginnings: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Nightwing, Tim as Robin, Barbara as Oracle, Helena as Huntress, Steph as Spoiler

This is an interesting period in that it's the first threads of what we now call the Batfamily, but they're only just starting to come together as Tim picks each one up. (No, seriously. This era is 'Tim meets people and works with them')

Also as will be the case for a while from here on, at least 50% of all content is written by Chuck Dixon. Now Dixon has his downsides - he's notoriously a conservative homophobe and his views can be seen in the text quite frequently, but he is really good at writing relationships between characters, and he loves a crossover. If you love the modern Batfam, you do have to acknowledge Dixon for his work.

A Lonely Place of Dying (1989) Batman #440-442, New Titans #60-61 - Marv Wolfman & George Perez. Tim's origin story. Very clear on the outset dynamics between Bruce and Dick.

Identity Crisis (1990) Batman #455-457 - Alan Grant. Tim's first night out as Robin in his own costume, plus early dynamics between Bruce & Tim. A tear jerker.

To the Father I Never Knew (1992) Batman #480 - Alan Grant. If you want to actually understand the foundation of Jack and Tim's relationship and how he contrasts it with his relationship with Bruce - look no further.

Robin III (1992) - Chuck Dixon. A very early Tim team-up with Huntress. This is a good place to start for how her relationship with the other Bats evolves in Gotham.

'Tec #647-649 (1992) - Chuck Dixon. Steph's original time out as Spoiler. Again foundational dynamics.

Oracle Year One (1996) Batman Chronicles #5, John Ostrander and Kim Yale. The story of how Barbara became Oracle. Stunning. Essential.

Knightfall: Bruce as Batman, JPV as Azrael and Batman, Dick as Nightwing and Batman, Tim as Robin, everyone else keeping out the way

Knightfall is huge and messy and all over the place but there is magic in here. You just have to dig. Parts I particularly like for family dynamics:-

Batman: Sword of Azrael (1992) - Dennis O'Neil. This is an excellent intro to John-Paul Valley, and get comfortable, because this is what Denny's going to write for the next 10 years.

Batman #488 (1993) - Doug Moench. JPV starts working at Wayne Corp. Tim is assigned to teach him the ropes as a crimefighter in Gotham.

Batman #500 (1993) - Doug Moench. JPV becomes Batman. Dick turns up to complain to Tim about Bruce being insufferable. It's all here.

Bloodbath #1 (1993) - Dan Raspler. This is a terrible comic BUT it also contains some gold dynamics between JPV, Dick and Tim.

Knightsend (1994) - team written. Bruce, Dick and Tim work together to help Bruce rehab from his injury and take down JPV. Legends of the Dark Knight #63 in particular is stunning.

Prodigal (1994) - team written. Dick as Batman and Tim as his Robin. The final issue, Robin #13, has Bruce and Dick's reconciliation over both the fight when Dick became Nightwing AND their fight after Jason died. Essential.

Welcome to the Family: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Nightwing, Tim as Robin, JPV as Azrael, Barbara as Oracle, Helena as Huntress, Steph as Spoiler

I will fight to convince you that this is the first true 'Batfam'. Everything prior to this is Bruce and his Robin, with occasional associates. This is where it goes from the Dynamic Duo to a network who intersect constantly.

Writers: It's a lot of Doug Moench and Chuck Dixon still.

Nightwing: Alfred's Return and Batman #521 (1995) - Alan Grant & Doug Moench. Alfred quit during Knightfall due to what Bruce was doing to himself. This is how Dick got him to come home, and the reunion.

Contagion (1996) - team written. The Event where Gotham gets the Clench (aka Ebola). Massive teamup storyline featuring Bruce, Dick, Tim, JPV, Helena, Selina, and Barbara.

Legacy (1997) - team written. Oh no, it's the Clench Round Two. Here we go again. Basically the same team, but JPV doesn't get invited after he proved he'd forgotten was a fax machine was last event, and Helena gets a more significant role.

Robin important family issues during this period: #17 (with Helena), #29-30 (with Barbara), #34 (with Helena), #35 (with Steph), #45 (with Jack Drake), #47 (with Dick)

Nightwing important family issues during this period: #6 (with Tim), #7 (with Babs), #13-14 (with Bruce), #16 (with Babs)

Birds of Prey important family issues during this period: Birds of Prey Manhunt, as it sets the tone for Barbara and Helena's relationship for a WHILE.

No Man's Land: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Nightwing, Tim as Robin, JPV as Azrael, Helena as Huntress and the Bat, Barbara as Oracle, Steph as Spoiler, Cass as Batgirl

The earthquake where everything goes wrong. The most notable addition to the writing pool is Greg Rucka. Honestly this is a 'so many parts of this are worthwhile, read it all' sort of period, but to help navigate there's a handful of really important points:-

Nightwing #20 (1998) - Chuck Dixon. The Dick, Babs and Tim reunion issue during Cataclysm. The world's fallen apart but they're back together.

Nightwing #25 (1998) - Chuck Dixon. Dick takes Tim trainsurfing

Brotherhood of the Fist (1998) - Chuck Dixon. This is a teamup with Connor Hawke involving Bruce, Dick and Tim. I love the dynamics here.

Huntress/Spoiler Special - Blunt Trauma (1998) - Chuck Dixon. The one Helena and Steph team up during Cataclysm. Get a dynamic you won't see anywhere else.

'Tec #725 (1998) - Chuck Dixon. Dick tells Bruce that he's going to become a cop.

'Tec #727 (1998) - Chuck Dixon. Another Dick, Babs and Tim teamup to take on Firefly.

Mark of Cain (1999) - Kelley Puckett. Cass's intro story.

Birds of Prey #8 (1999) - Chuck Dixon. Dick and Babs visit Haly's Circus

Robin #67 (1999) - Chuck Dixon. Tim and Dick break into No Man's Land.

Legends of the Dark Knight #120 (1999) - Greg Rucka. Team reunion in NML at the Clocktower.

Nightwing #38-39 (1999) - Chuck Dixon - Babs looks after an injured Dick in the Clocktower.

Legends of the Dark Knight #125 (1999) - Greg Rucka. Bruce and Jim finally discuss their issues. Barbara and Tim wait upstairs.

Endgame (1999) - various. Whole team works to track down Joker and some kidnapped babies on Christmas Eve.

A New City, A New Team: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Nightwing, Tim as Robin, JPV as Azrael, Barbara as Oracle, Helena as Huntress, Cass as Batgirl, Steph as Spoiler

This is the final Chuck Dixon era, the Rucka & Brubaker run on Batman and 'Tec, Devin Grayson on Gotham Knights, and probably my favourite era of comics ever. It's hit after hit after hit. Pick up any comic here. You won't be disappointed.

Major highlights not to miss:

Gotham Knights #1-12 (2000) - Devin Grayson. GK is my favourite Bat anthology book ever, but this run includes Transference. The overarching plot is Bruce analysing his team in a series of case notes. Unmissable.

Hunt for Oracle (2000) - Chuck Dixon. The US government tries to track Oracle down. Babs, Dick and Dinah make sure they fail.

Officer Down (2001) - various. Jim Gordon is shot. This is the consequences as people search for his attacker.

Joker Last Laugh (2001) - various. Joker thinks he is about to die and breaks out of the Slab. Chaos ensues. This is the one where everyone thinks Croc kills Tim, and reacts accordingly.

Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive (2002) - various. Bruce has been pushing everyone away for a while, so when he's accused of murder, they must ask the question, did he do it? Everyone tries to solve the mystery of who killed Vesper Fairchild, and Bruce goes through one of his 'am I Bruce or am I Batman' periods.

Batgirl #18 & #20 (2001) - Kelley Puckett. Cass' first team ups with Tim and Steph respectively.

Batman/Huntress: Cry for Blood (2000) - Greg Rucka. THE definitive Batfam Huntress book.

Hush It Looks Like War: Bruce as Batman, Dick as Nightwing, Tim as Robin, Barbara as Oracle, Helena as Huntress, Cass as Batgirl, Steph as Spoiler and Robin

Among the drama of Murderer/Fugitive, almost every single book gets a new writer. Jon Lewis takes Robin followed by Bill Willingham, Devin Grayson takes Nightwing, Birds of Prey gets fills until Gail Simone picks it up, Dylan Horrocks takes over Batgirl, Jeph Loeb writes Hush on Batman, Scott Beatty takes Gotham Knights. Personally I endorse basically all these runs but Grayson on Nightwing is controversial.

Hush (2003) Batman #608-619 - Jeph Loeb. Famous for a reason, this is a Bruce story that touches on his relationships with almost EVERY major character in his life (Cass and Steph miss out).

Gotham Knights - Scott Beatty. I don't know what to pick here but #47-49 is a team story of Bruce, Dick, Tim and Cass following Bane to a Kobra stronghold which shows off the developed family-like relationship between the 4 at this point.

Robin - Jon Lewis. Your highlights here are Tim and Steph on a date together (#111), and the 16th Birthday Story (#116-120) because it's essential to understanding where Tim and Bruce are at.

Robin - Bill Willingham. Jack finds out Tim is Robin. Tim quits. Steph becomes Robin. It's an essential arc.

Nightwing - Grayson. This is widely disliked but #81 is a great Dick, Bruce and Cass issue.

Birds of Prey - Simone. Helena joins Barbara on the Birds of Prey. They very, very slowly work through their issues with each other.

Batgirl - Horrocks. #38, Steph and Cass play tag. #45, Cass tries on Barbara's old costume. #50, Bruce drugs himself and Cass with Soul and they fight. #54, Barbara and Cass argue over her reading ability.

And then lurking in the background...War Games hits and tears the Batfam apart, with a doubletap from Identity Crisis.

Leaving Gotham: Bruce as Batman, Dick out of costume, Tim as Robin, Cass as Batgirl, Barbara as Oracle, Helena as Huntress annnnd Jason as Red Hood

Steph is dead. Barbara and Helena leave Gotham for Metropolis. Tim and Cass move to Bludhaven. Dick runs off to join the mob. And in Gotham, Red Hood appears.

Writers: Well we've added Judd Winick on Batman, and now have Andersen Gabrynch on Batgirl. Gotham Knights is now mostly A.J. Lieberman and no longer a good Batfam book (it's now a Hush book). 'Tec honestly isn't worth it during this period. Willingham on Robin has a handful of decent issues to start out then increasingly gets weirdly conservative with some very odd plotlines.

Fresh Blood (2005) Robin #132-133, Batgirl #58-59 - Willingham & Gabrynch. This is a Tim and Cass team up as they move to Bludhaven and mourn together.

Under the Red Hood (2005) - Batman #635-650. You know what this is. It's the Jason returns story.

Nightwing - Grayson. #100 - a strong reflection on Dick's past plus the most heartbreaking part of the Dick/Babs breakup as Dick just runs from all his problems. #110. Tim and Dick meet in Bludhaven and fail to tell each other all the bad things happening in their lives. #112. Dick and Helena run into each other both undercover in the mob. #117. Dick finally talks to Bruce about Blockbuster, and proposes to Babs.

Robin - Willingham. #134 is the pick of the bunch - Bruce offers to adopt Tim and Tim reflects on his time as Robin, though it's a solid little story out to #138 as the truth about Uncle Eddie comes out.

Birds of Prey - Simone. #76, the Babs side of the breakup. #83-84, Helena with the mob and encountering Dick. #90, Helena gives Bruce the new compiled mob data handbook and Bruce compliments her.

Batgirl - Gabrynch. This is a strong well loved run for the build up to Cass' final fight with Shiva, but for Batfam you can't go past #67, when Cass reunites with Babs. Also Cass hallucinates Steph twice in this run (#61 & #72).

Then Infinite Crisis arrives and we all move a year into the future.

One Year Later: Bruce is Batman, Dick is Nightwing, Tim is Robin, Jason is Red Hood, Damian arrives, Cass eventually returns to Batgirl

At this point Barbara and Helena are largely doing their own thing with the Birds of Prey and won't return to the Batfam until Reborn.

New writers all around! Adam Beechen and Fabian Nicieza on Robin, Marv Wolfman and Peter Tomasi on Nightwing, Adam Beechen on Batgirl, Grant Morrison on Batman and Paul Dini on Detective Comics.

Face the Face (2006) Batman #651-654, 'Tec #817-820 - James Robinson. The Bruce and Tim story that set up Tim's adoption.

Batman and Son (2006) Batman #655-658 - Grant Morrison. Damian's introduction to the family.

Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul (2008) - various. Ra's tries to kidnap Damian to steal his body. Bruce, Dick and Tim go to rescue him. Dick and Tim's subplot involves the highest point of their brotherhood as Dick talks Tim out of trying resurrect his lost dead.

Robin - Beechen. #156, the suicide prevention issue, for Tim and Dick. #163, Tim and Bruce on their first Father's Day. #165, Tim and Bruce working on a car together.

Robin - Nicieza. Steph's return as Spoiler. #177, where Jason thinks he can recruit Tim (and fails miserably).

Nightwing - Wolfman. You know what? #117-122, the 'Jason dresses as Nightwing and harasses Dick and turns into a tentacle monster' saga. Does everyone like to say it's out of character? Yes. Is it Jason being just as annoying as he will proceed to be all the way to 2011? Also yes. That's Jason's post-Crisis character.

Nightwing - Tomasi. Freefall, #140-146. This is just a beautiful encapsulation of Dick's many connections, of his teamwork with Bruce and Tim, and of what makes him tick.

Heart of Hush (2008) 'Tec #846-850 - Paul Dini. The premise is ridiculous, but it's about Bruce and Selina, and about Dick and Tim helping track down Hush.

Batgirl (2008) - Adam Beechen. Beechen after squiffing it with the Evil Cass saga, gets to undo the damage to Cass's character and return her to the family. I think it's a pretty successful job, despite Dick spending the entire book holding the idiot ball so someone can be unsupportive. Cass gets adopted. Tim and Barbara never lose their faith in her.

Battle for the Cowl: EVERYONE IS FREEFORM

Everyone will tell you this is all horribly out of character. They're wrong. Come for Fabian Nicieza doing hard work to actually set up characters in the places they need to be for Reborn.

Battle for the Cowl: the Network (2009) - Fabian Nicieza. Oracle and the Birds of Prey have returned to Gotham but for reasons they're not calling themselves the Birds of Prey, so it's the Network.

Oracle The Cure (2009) - Kevin VanHook. Early set up for Wendy Harris' future plot. Babs gets the mentoring itch again.

Azrael: Death's Dark Knight (2009) - Fabian Nicieza. A new Azrael for a splinter faction of the Order of St Dumas appears. Dick and Babs are immediately suspicious (and Dick has to be talked out of immediately kicking the Azrael's butt just on the SUSPICION it might be JPV).

Also the main event books happen and everyone yells at each other a lot about who should be Batman.

Batman Reborn: Bruce is missing, Dick is Batman, Tim is Red Robin, Damian is Robin, Jason is Red Hood, Barbara is Oracle, Steph is Batgirl, Cass is Black Bat

New titles! New writers! Things all over the place! People who like Jason are going to claim all of Jason's appearances are once again out of character, but Jason fans claim that about every time Jason breathes outside of UTRH, Lost Days and a small handful of very select stories after Flashpoint. I'm just saying, villain Jason is pretty consistently irritating between 2007 and 2011.

Red Robin #1-12 (2009) - Chris Yost. Not only Tim's new costume arc, but a great look at Tim's centrality as a character to the Batfam in the number of contacts he calls in at the end of the run.

Red Robin #17 & #25 (2010) - Fabian Nicieza. Tim and Cass working together as siblings and backing each other up.

Batman & Robin #20-22 (2011) - Peter Tomasi. I would strongly argue this is the best arc in B&R with the best characterisation.

Batman & Robin (2009) - Grant Morrison. Look, a lot of people like the foundation of Dick and Damian's relationship found here. Also Jason shows up to be a pain.

Streets of Gotham (2009) - Paul Dini. There's a bunch of good storylines in this anthology book, but #5-6 with Dick, Helena and Kirk Langstrom is one I particularly like.

Batman #703 (2010) - Fabian Nicieza. The best Dick, Damian and Tim team-up issue of Reborn.

Gates of Gotham (2011) - Scott Snyder. The masterpiece of Batfamily content. Dick, Tick, Damian and Cass all feature in this and all 6 possible relationships are shown in different parts.

Batgirl #3-5, #17 (2009) - Bryan Q. Miller. Damian and Steph team ups, plus a look into the tension in the Dick and Barbara relationship at the time.

Birds of Prey #10 (2011) - Gail Simone. Barbara discusses her new realignment of how she's working as Oracle and focusing on the Bats.

The Black Mirror (2010) 'Tec #871-881 - Scott Snyder. Some of the best writing of Dick as Batman during this period, and a look into his relationships with Jim Gordon, Barbara, and Tim particularly.

The Return Home (2010) - various. Bruce comes back to Gotham after his 'death' and checks in on everyone.

[chronicbeans]

Romantic Wally Darling with an Aro/Ace Reader Headcanons:

TW: None

The aro/ace community needs more representation omg. I did my best, but since it is a bit of a spectrum, this might not be representative of everybody!

🌹 You, most likely, recently moved into the neighborhood. I believe Wally knows everything about everyone in the neighborhood, so for him to not know much about you, you HAVE to be a recent addition. He's like that nosey neighbor, but instead of it being for a negative reason like suspicion or whatever, he is just childishly curious about others. Especially when it comes to new people, too! He has a bit of trouble understanding a person's boundaries when it comes to meeting someone for the first time.

🌹 When he saw you move in, it was like love at first sight for him! He truly believes that love at first sight is a thing, especially because of all the books he's read. Many of them include love at first sight, with their explanations of how it feels being exactly like what he feels right now! He immediately gets a bunch of flowers and treats to gift to you. He is a bit confused by the slightly uncomfortable look you gave him, but he just chalks it up to the two of you only recently meeting. So, he plays it off as a welcome gift.

🌹 As it goes on, you begin to try to figure out how exactly to break the news to him. It is EXTREMELY obvious that he has some sort of crush on you. The amount of times he has given you roses, candies, and love notes from "secret admirer" that is so clearly his handwriting is telling. The most confusing part is trying to make sure he doesn't cry or anything from believing he has made you uncomfortable or unwelcomed in anyway, and to make sure he understands that you understand he meant no harm.

🌹 You decide to ask Eddie for help, seeing if he can give you any advice. He knows Wally better than you do, after all. The best advice he gives you is to just be honest with him, since he loves to learn. He even explains his own situation when he explained that he and Frank were getting married. Wally was a bit confused, but immediately accepting of the situation. He just never heard of such a thing before.

🌹 So, you take a deep breath, before marching over to Home to visit Wally. When he answers the door, he opens it with wide, excited eyes, practically bouncing up and down with joy. You take a deep breath, again, before saying "Can we talk? Maybe over some snacks?"

🌹 Sitting him down, you begin to explain the situation. He asks a bunch of questions, such as "So... no romantic feelings? At all?" "Yes, none at all. It isn't just you, so don't take it personally." "Okay... did I make you uncomfortable?" "A little, but I know you didn't mean to and didn't know. I don't blame you." "Oh... okay..."

🌹 He is... unusually quiet. Then again, you have never seen Wally when he is learning something. However, he keeps asking small questions. What are you comfortable with? What about his actions made you uncomfortable? Was it the romantic intentions behind doing it, or was it the fact that the action itself is seen as romantic by society? Wait... how the heck does he know something like societal standards-

🌹 You quickly learn that Wally is a lot smarter than he looks when it comes to socialization. He might act a little strange to some, but he clearly knows about things like social stigmas, societal norms, and the likes. He just doesn't seem to care about conforming to them. Which, from what you can tell, makes him much more accepting of different people with a wide range of personalities, backgrounds, and identities.

🌹 He has this strange way of understanding not understanding. As much as he wants to know what it is like to be you, understand everything about you, and know exactly how you feel, he can't. He knows he can't because he isn't you. So, he just accepts that identifying the way you do makes you happy, explains who you are the best way that you can, and allows him to have a slightly more clear view of your boundaries. It makes you comfortable, which is something he would never dream of taking away or invalidating. In a way, you are a lot like Eddie! Someone he didn't understand at first, but now has a clearer picture of. Same with Poppy and Frank, too!

🌹 Depending on your comfort range with romantic actions, the two of you could become queerplatonic friends, acting in ways seen as romantic by most while the relationship is explicitly platonic. Or, if you are not comfortable with that, it is perfectly fine to Wally. Wally is content with just being friends in general. He might be a little disappointed, but after some thought, love at first sight could just be... Well, love at first sight! Love doesn't have to mean romantic love! Love could be platonic, romantic, loving a food, activity... Whatever! So if him loving you at first sight means that you were destined to be the best of friends, he is completely content with that.

[im-a-goddamn-cat]

I found your post "sorry (not) sorry" where you talk about asexuality and aces who say they love sex etc.

That post ended up on my "for you" and I'm glad it did. I wrote a reply in that post but I was typing too quickly and it was a mess. So I deleted it and decided to write a message instead.

I have to say that I agree with your post 100% and it's quite sad that your opinion is "problematic" in ace community.

Can aces have sex? Yes. Some say they do it solely to please their partners, which sounds very RAPEY. It's interesting how little we hear about the allosexual individuals, who might masturbate instead of having sex with their asexual partners.

Nowadays, it seems like everyone is obsessed with labels and twisting words to fit their own narrative. I'm not against labels, just use labels that fit you. A lot of times I feel like allos just use asexual label so they can preach how they love sex & they can show aces that they can love sex too like every other "normal" person.

Sometimes when I see someone talking how they never want sex or that they are sex repulsed there always have to be some "ace" that screams BUT DON'T FORGET ACES LOVE SEX TOO! WE LOVE KINK! WE LOVE FUCKING!!!

It feels like you're being erased, but erased by someone who's not even asexual.

I come to ace tags a lot, because I would like to follow some people, (also I come to the tags a lot so I can block bots that started spamming the tags) but it's always the same story. I see people who say they are ace but they also say things that show me that they are pretty much allos. It's sad because these people made me avoid ace spaces... because it really feels like 60% of them are allos who just use ace label. 30% are aces who don't want to be rude and they're like "all are welcome, all can use ace label!!! No one can tell you that you're not ace" and then 10% people just don't say a word because they don't want drama.

This is why people won't take us seriously because a lot of people who don't know much about asexuality hear just "I'm ace but I still love and enjoy sex!. And this is why some people think being celibate and being asexual is the same thing.

Sorry for a long message & my rant but it's RARE that someone who's ace actually say things you said in that post out loud... and it's refreshing to see that.

I don't really know how much we have in common but I will follow you just so I can read more of your ace posts in the future. Because I really need that.

thank you so much for sending this message, i'm really glad that my post resonated with you. and i agree with everything you said. it's awful that the asexual label/community has been overtaken by this narrative that aces can have sex even tho it's just false. it's actually pretty scary bc, like you said, it sounds so rapey. you rarely hear ppl adovacting for allos to have sex just to please their partner or for allos to have sex with ppl they aren't attracted to bc everyone recognizes how disgusting that is, but for some reason, ppl think it's normal and okay to do this to ace ppl.

i hate being one of those ppl who tries to tell others what their identity is but i truly do feel like ppl who claim that their ace but still want/enjoy sex aren't actually ace, they're allosexual who decided to call themself ace for some reason. asexual ppl do not experience sexual attraction so they would not be seeking out sex with ppl nor would they enjoy it. if someone claims they enjoy sex despite being ace, i feel like there's a good chance that they're not actually ace.

i've also seen the argument that "asexuality is a spectrum" for why aces can have sex but i'm gonna be honest, it seems more like it's allosexuality that is the spectrum; there's only one way to not experience sexual attraction (asexual) but there's many different ways to experience sexual attraction and there's nothing wrong with that but it doesn't mean you're asexual. if you experience sexual attraction, you're not asexual.

i've also seen ppl get harassed for saying that they're asexual which means they don't want to have sex and/or dislike sexual content and i've experienced that myself. i've made posts just talking about my own sexuality and have had multiple ppl who jumped in to try "correcting" me by telling me that aces can have sex, which again is false, and it just shows how creepy this attitude is bc why do ppl always feel the need to try forcing this mindset onto any actual asexual person they come across? it really feels like ppl are just trying to pressure ace ppl into forcing themselves to conform to allosexual society's standards.

anyways, i think you hit the nail right on the head, you're so right about everything. it seems that even the ace community has been overtaken by a compulsory sexuality and rape culture mindset and it's so sad. this is supposed to be a community for ppl to celebrate and bond over their identity and yet you have so many ppl either trying to coerce asexual ppl into having sex and/or ppl who aren't even asexual who are claiming the label and twisting it for their own weird narrative.

thank you so much again. 💕 ik it sucks and it makes me sad and angry that ppl do this awful stuff too but always remember that there is nothing wrong with who we are and that we should try to stay positive and fight against ppl's acephobia as much as possible. 💕

[aphverse-confessions]

Most of these people advocating for casual lesbiphobia and misinformation in Minecraft fandom spaces (and furthermore implying that this is a STAPLE and REQUIREMENT of it) are not even lesbians; they don't have the means to send asks like that one. I know for a fact that some of you are not lesbians. Half of you blindly agreeing because you don't know any better and are afraid to ask/challenge, I know for a fact some of you are also not lesbians!

Advocating for ANY form of a lesbian identity that involves being attracted to men, particularly your use of 'mspec' and 'bi lesbians' here, even in fiction, is absolutely not a staple or requirement for a fandom. Not even in a big diverse fandom like MCYT. You are not a 'majority vote' and you do not have the power to dictate how progressive or diverse a fandom space is, nor do you have the power to 'chase people to twitter' to protect a fandom space that you aren't in charge of. Nor is this 'chasing you off' in return because this is Tumblr and a fandom and chances are in fandom you will meet at least one person who doesn't agree with you. But in the gentlest way possible, crying 'exclusionist!' is shutting yourself off from ever having a mature conversation about the issue at hand. Being open to new, emerging and changing sexualities and fluidities does not also mean actively disrespecting lesbians, and as a lesbian it's so frustrating to see you all be so okay with it.

It is not exclusionary to admit that lesbians can't also be bisexual/biromantic. It is not exclusionary. Simple as that. It's not exclusionary to say that you shouldn't be headcanoning your queer characters as 'bi lesbians' as if to suggest that lesbians can also be bisexual or biromantic in any way. It is not fair to suggest that being a lesbian is a spectrum that means you can be sexually attracted to or romantically attracted to men. If you are sexually attracted to different people but romantically only attracted to women, lesbian (much less mspec lesbian or bi lesbian) is not the word you use to describe that preference, especially if you yourself aren't a lesbian and are just trying to headcanon character sexualities. Even if you personally think that putting the word mspec label alongside the lesbian label (which actively contradict each other) is fitting, your lesbian friends very well can be and are allowed to be hurt. You are imlpying that the lesbian identity, which can be fluid and growing, yes, will always in some way shape or form include men. Whether that's romantic or sexual or included within bi identities, you are still spreading that narrative that our sexualities must always adjust to have men involved. When you project that on fictional characters, you are also spreading that rhetoric into fandom.

You can talk about queer women, split-attraction and mspec identities without lumping in the lesbian identity beside them. It is disrespectful to promote a 'bi lesbian' as an existent identity that has a place alongside your other headcanons. These characters can very well be biromantic/bisexual with a preference for women. They could be referred to as sapphic, WLW, so many more. There are so many identities that allow women to have preferences that involve men. There is a multitude of beautiful and good labels and words if you do want one that describe attraction to women on a variety of levels that still include bisexual people and still acknowledge mspec/romantic-sexual splits. Lesbian is not one of them.

The reaches that some of you guys are going to to try and involve men in lesbian's circles of sexual and romantic attraction is ridiculous. Some of you, I know for a fact, are fully grown adults who should know better. And yes, their ask opened themselves up to 'discourse' and 'an argument' because it wasn't good! Stop reducing queer conversations to 'oouuh more discourse I don't wanna fight ><' and comparing it to proshipping on tumblr? My god.

From the looks of these discord servers and the reblogs on that post, there's a distinct group of people in support who need to reconsider the language they use and consider adjusting the language in your headcanons. It's shameful to see the lack of research and respect around aphblr currently and even in discord servers. It is moreso sad finding out the amount of people in this fandom who are still trying to find ways to involve attraction to men into the lesbian identity. Bending over backwards to defend bi lesbian headcanons is just one of those ways. There are better and far better hills in queer discourse to die on.

I love my bi siblings (metaphorically) and my bi siblings love me. Even while identity is fluid and can change or develop, it is not biphobic or lesbiphobic to recognise that lesbians are not also bisexual in any way, shape or form. Lesbians do not also secretly have romantic or sexual attractions to men. We are not romantically attracted to men but sexually to women or the other way around; lesbian is not the word to describe a general attraction to women and also men sometimes too. Be respectful of your lesbian siblings in fandom spaces.

.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Hi, I'm aroace. you "do not ship canon aroace char" is deeply misleading. I shouldn't explain it to you but aromanticism and asexuality are spectrums. Where Alastor falls on that spectrum depends on how who writes him. He can be comfortable with a particular "messed up" idea of "romance" that does not align with the normal concept of romance. He can be into kinks/fetishes without being into traditional sex - and he will still be ace. Hell, he's a serial killer, and guess how high is the percentage of sexual deviants among serial killers.

Grey aromanticism and grey asexuality are a fucking thing and it's genuinely a shame fellow aroaces try to shame those of us who are on the grey part of the spectrum into thinking that aroace characters cannot be shipped. Yes... they can. Just like aroace people can be in romantic and sexual relationships of non-traditional kind and still associate themselves with the labels.

Comparing homosexuality, often seen as non-spectral (though many people can argue and we should Not Be Like This About Labels), with spectrums of aromantic and/or asexual attraction is deeply misguided. It makes me wonder if you are fully aware what you're talking about.

*I've been in the fandom since the pilot and I never heard about Viv confirming his aromanticism, just his asexuality. If new information dropped, I'd love to hear it - but if he is just ace, you guys should now be assigning aromanticism to him just because. Romantic asexuals exist, it's normal.

Bestie… how about you check the post you’re quoting?

This is for all aroace characters. Not just some random ass demon (??) from a show I’ve never seen but people seem to be obsessed with…

Sure if they’re called aroace SPEC then go ahead and speculate… but if they’re called AROACE then well kinda different situations lol…

it’s also a different situation if someone is posting shit like “IF I EVER SEE YOU SHIP (canon gay man) WITH (women character) IM BLOCKING YOU SO HARD” and then turn around and say “AROACE IS A SPECTRUM IM NOT BUT OTHERS ARE AND I SAY THIS!!!”

I’ve also stated multiple times that I have far less of an issue with it then some of those posts might make you believe. I’m pretty sure I did a post somewhere about my “here’s how you don’t fuck up” rules.

I can’t quote it but I know some highlights:

-if your aspec you can ship, I know your not going to be gross about it (hopefully)

-acknowledgment of aspec identity in the fic no matter the contents

-if someone is written as sex-repulsed; don’t do the opposite. Same with romance-repulsed

Sincerely,

An aegosexual/aromantic pansexual, who’s been doing this shit for about 2 years now and known about aspec identity/advocated for, for far longer

[colorisbyshe]

People really struggle with the idea that there is no monolithic “nonbinary” experience and that many, many nonbinary people are not in the “middle” of the “gender spectrum” but that we all have different placements (and some have MULTIPLE placements) and that, for some of us, our place on the spectrum can be very, very close to “woman” and “man.” Or more close to “woman” and “man” than not.

And that that’s why nonbinary people can be included in straight and gay orientations. Because some of us are aligned with womanhood or manhood in a way where we know that, sometimes, when people say “women” or “man,” we are included in that.

Those of us that CAN fall under a broader understanding of “woman” or “man” know when we are included in those terms and don’t need messy language like “women and nonbinary people” or (often worse) “women and femmes.” Those of us who are included... include ourselves. Those who do not belong under “woman” or “man” just... do not include themselves in those terms.

And sometimes that inclusion is situational. Sometimes, I, a nonbinary woman, hear the term “woman” and go, “Sure, that’s me,” and, sometimes, I go “Not my ass.” For some nonbinary people, their ONLY connection to womanhood or manhood is their lesbianism or gayness. When they feel attraction to women, that’s the point of connection and sameness that they don’t otherwise feel (or if it’s a nonbinary man, their attraction to men).

And that’s how nonbinary people can be included in lesbianism without it being a “bisexual” lesbianism. The only nonbinary people included in lesbianism are the nonbinary people who hear “woman” and at least sometimes go “Sure, that’s me.” Lesbians are women attracted to women and no one else. It’s just that... some nonbinary people are included in that understanding of women.

It’s not... a deeply complicated concept. Women attracted to women (cis, trans, and nonbinary) are lesbians. Women attracted to women and people who are not women--men, nonbinary people who do not identify with womanhood at all or identify as men as well as women--are... bisexual.

Like I need people to look into my eyes and know that I, a nonbinary woman, am not misgendered when people are attracted to me because of the >woman< part of nonbinary woman. If someone completely ignores that there is a “nonbinary” bit modifying said womanhood, yes, I am being misgendered, but... erasing my womanhood that I have spent years coming to terms with is... also bad.

And nonbinary people know that our identities are often messy and challenge people’s understanding of binary genders but that’s... the point? Like if gender could have a point, that would be the point of many nonbinary genders.

So, please, stop using nonbinary people as an excuse to be lesbophobic (AND biphobic). You are not being more inclusive by insisting that any lesbian attracted to a nonbinary woman is actually bisexual. You are being exclusive and are, in many ways, misgendering the nonbinary people involved.

Using the term “non men” to say “non men attracted to only non-men” is not helping out nonbinary people, lesbians, or bisexuals either. So knock that ugly shit off too. Lesbianism is about womanhood. An inclusive womanhood. But exclusively that inclusive womanhood.

[rosyronkey]

what is it in will graham that makes you feel like hes trans?

hey I don't know if you wanted an analysis here anon but I'm sure as hell going to give you one!

to me, and my interpretation of the show may differ from yours, s1 will represents uncertainty. he's a clear parallel to hannibal in that way, with his character in the first season being carefully cultivated to seem uncertain and display attributes. we learn about "people suits" later in the show and these traits can obviously be attributed to that as well, but general feelings and of unease and displacement in your own body and mind are pretty common feelings of the trans experience. his empathy is a double-sided knife in the same way my approach to gender presentation and passing with an effort to recognize identities outside of the gender spectrum is. the last metaphor is a bit weak, but you get the idea.

will isn't very comfortable around people. yes, trans people can socialize, yes, trans people have great social lives, but a disconnect from cis peers is not uncommon. he's out of place because of his empathy as well, but i recognized myself in the way he acted around strangers, how closed off about personal details he could be. the way he finds it easier to have animals around, and the way he likes to be their leader is pretty telling to me at least.

there are a few scattered lines that could point to him being trans ("i don't have the right parts" towards margot when she wants to get pregnant) but i think the truer substance is just in the way he is. it's so hard to explain why someone is trans because it's sometimes not a tangible thing? i'm trying my best here without even referencing or rewatching the show, but all i can think about is the way i see myself in him, as fucked up as that may be, as a trans man from the south.

and honestly, if the majority of trans men watching the show think he's trans, he's fucking trans. if that many people pick up on it, there's probably something to get in to. i may not have the words for it, but i bet some other lovely hannibal blog could write you an even longer essay on it :)

feel free to add on in reblogs if you'd like mutuals!!

[our-aroace-experience]

I'm aromatic and that's all I've ever told people I'm probably on the ace spectrum but I've never ever once TOLD a person I was ace. I've identified myself with aro and I'm comfortable in it and my identity but every and I mean EVERY person I've known and told about me being aro will tell others and when referencing me to myself says ace. I had a friend who had many labels and I thought they'd understand that I'm aro not ace cause they used they/them and neopronouns but EVERY AND I MEAN EVERY TIME XE INTRODUCED SOMEONE TO ME They'd say I'm ace.

"oh this is dense she's ace"

"I'm actually aromatic"

"same thing".

"I know your so done hearing me talk about dating people and having crush being ace and all"

"I'm aromatic not ace and it doesn't bug me"

"Okay~"

They said "okay" in a weird way and looking back I think they were trying to make me jealous that I can't love and then didn't believe me when I said I didn't care.

This next instance made me never talk about my identity around or with them ever again.

"happy birthday!!!!!"

"I'm finally legal let's GOOOO!"(I just turned AOC)

"don't make jokes about you having sex it make me uncomfortable cuz your ace"

"I'm not ace I'm aro and you know that and you make sex jokes at me all the time and make them with others I can make sex jokes if I want"

"well I don't like it and it's the same thing. you know your just a little baby in my mind which makes it weird hearing you say that and your my best friend so I don't want to think of you with others.

I ghost xem after but reading that almost make me puke. IM, ME AM NOT ALOUD TO MAKE SEX JOKES CUZ U SEE ME AS A BABY CUZ YOU THINK IM ACE AND SEX REPULSED, FUCK YOU.

Another thing is my family, we're a very open family having no problems with pronoun or name changes or being gay the only problem is my aunt married a conservative American

My younger cousin maybe 8 at that point made a gay dating joke after my aunt said something about boys maybe to impress me since I'm 8 years older then him and I told nah that's not me I'm aromatic which means I don't like boys or girls my aunt chimed in saying "we don't need to be talking about this with HIM, he doesn't need to now this "I told her "he is the one that brought it up so he obviously knows and just like how you talk about girls dating boys I could talk about me not dating anyone it makes no difference especially when he is making innuendos. Wait have you even had sex Ed?" "No" he replied, then my oh so fun chimed in saying "he's too young for sex ed it's good he hasn't had in it." "No I'm more surprised he hasn't had sex ed it's important he should have it." "No he's too young" "remember how I was sexually assaulted when I was six and I had no clue what happened to me until I had sex Ed and was told that it was bad and to tell my parent them told my mom and got help do you want him oblivious if it happened to him" "it's different." "How?" He stopped talking and went outside I asked my cousin is he wanted to play Minecraft he said yes so we did that but a few hours later to the bathroom my aunt grabbed me and asked if I was serious about was I said about boys and girls I told her "yes I'm aromatic and don't like boys or girls or anyone like the opposite of being bi." "Are you sure maybe you just haven't met the right person"(I was kinda floored by this she would've said that if I said I like girls) "yes I'm sure I'm seventeen and have never have a crush or ever wanted to be with someone" "but what if one day you fall in love" "and what if one day aliens take over the planet it's possible but I'm not going to bother myself thinking about it." "Well I just don't want you trapping yourself in this label stopping yourself from liking someone." "I never have and probably never will like someone but if magically one day I do I won't stop myself does that sound good to you?" "Yes".

I just love negotiating my identity to keep people happy I've had that exact talk maybe 11 times now and im so done with it, I'm known for my patience explaining sexuality stuff to my older family cause I know their just curious but please stop checking in to see if I've change my sexuality like a clown fish I'm so done.

This was mostly a long rant but I just wanted it out there and to leave it on a good note my mom loves me for who I am and makes fun of my family and people who just can't get it through their head that I'm not going to ever date someone I'm her star child with no drama ✨ which I always find funny.

Love to all that have a hard time with it I love you and your valuable and valid

i’m so sorry to hear about your friends and family, you mum sounds lovely!

[suugrbunz]

Part One — Main Focus will be Joe Liebgott, Edward Shames, and Jewish Identity. Part two will focus on MoTa.

First let me start by saying— these are thoughts that have been forming for a long time. There are things I will say that I've wanted to say for a long time. This is just me publishing my personal opinion with subsequent facts of the matter. However, you can differentiate the two. Put the facts above my opinion and if you believe I am wrong, feel free to send me a message in my ask box about it!

First and foremost being Jewish is a spectrum. There are ethnic Jews who are secular but stay within the community, there are practising ethnic Jews who vary their degrees of religious adherence, there are ethnic Jews who are Christian converts, and there are converts who are not ethnically Jewish. We are an ethnoreligious group— like the Druze or the Yazidis. There are many forms of our religion and many different cultural practices influenced by where they lived. The main groups we have are Ashkenazim; Diaspora that lives in Eastern Europe and everyone uses them as the staple of Jewry, they're not, they're just a part of the community. Mizrahim; Diaspora that resided in the Middle East and Northern African. They have suffered through many genocides (as have the rest shhh). Sephardim; Diaspora that resided in the Iberian Peninsula before the Spanish inquisition fucked them over and they ended up in the Balkans, the Middle East, Africa, and anywhere else. Finally, there are Central Asian Jews who are often a mixture of the Ashkenazi and Mizrahi diaspora. A great example of these are the Bukharan Jews. Whilst they're their own community within our community; Many Iraqi, Iranian, and Ashki Jews ended up in their community due to genocides in the countries they lived in.

So let's talk about some of our Jewish characters in BoB and some important information!!

Liebgott’s mother was Jewish. Yes, he was raised catholic but allow me to remind you of the statement we are an ethnoreligious group. He may not have spoken Yiddish but he did speak a dialect of German because of where his parents were from. Let's be real, speaking your parent's first language at home is normal. If Liebgott wasn't ethnically Jewish he wouldn't have been pissed off at Guarnere’s blatant antisemitism towards Sobel by calling him a Son of Abraham (oy vey).

Joe may not have known anything about the religion. Joe may not have gone to shul. But neither did Billy Joel and he was similarly raised Catholic by a Jewish family and still he has said he feels connected to the community. Joel's family went to Cuba to escape Nazis as they were a German Jewish family. If he didn't feel this connection then the real-life Liebgott wouldn't have fought Guarnere, right?

We note him as being exceptionally hateful towards Nazis. We see him as this feisty individual who could initiate a fight with anyone and might just win. The first time we see the war’s true emotional toll on Liebgott is when he breaks down at the camp. Though, I'd also argue that him not getting help when injured is a big sign of his deteriorating mental health.

Sit down because we are about to take a very emotional ride which will give you insight to any Ashkenazi or Sephardic individual who had a family member perish in the Sho’ah.

As only two generations away from the Sho’ah in my family, I know where my family died and I know where they were from. The most painful thing for me is to look at the train loads of Hungarian Jews arriving at Auschwitz. That is my family. At a young age I saw that film, I remember silently crying as I questioned if my family was captured in this film. If I see them just before they're matched to their death. Now imagine being Liebgott. Imagine being any Jewish individual that came across a camp— death or work camp. Imagine knowing this could've been you if your family didn't leave their homeland. Or worse, knowing that whatever family they left behind is dead. Dead and gone. Unnamed. Unknown. Stripped of their identity and in some camps they're just a number for ease of figuring out who has or has not died. Not every camp used this system, but some did. The camp easy company came across was not one of these but… It was still a camp. I think many people don't realise the sheer amount of camps and ghettos that were spread across the whole of Europe. According to USHMM’s Encyclopedia— over 44,000 camps were established. Additionally there were around 1,000 ghettos. So, we will establish our base estimated number at 45,000. Meaning the likelihood of accidentally coming across one was generally higher than what one may believe. Especially depending on the area you were in.

On the other hand someone who is hardly spoken of; Edward Shames was a practising Jew. He toasted his son’s bar mitzvah with hitler's cognac. Which is such a fuck you to hitler. A bar/bat mitzvah is a celebration of a Jewish person becoming an adult in the religion. There's partying, reading of the Torah, and all around joyous times. It is basically; We lived, you didn't— how successful was your genocide? Oh, yeah, not successful enough. Additionally, Shames held a Pesach Seder during the war. He was as religious as he could be during the war. I do not remember if or how he reacted to the concentration camp during the miniseries. I am a bit ignorant of him, I know some information but not enough to speak any further. Both Liebgott and Edward Shames by Halacha are Jewish. Liebgott's mum is a Jew, so he's a Jew. Edward Shames' parents are both Jewish. Even though to a secular person they are not viewed as being equally Jewish... In my eyes, they kind of are.

This concludes part one of two. You can find part two here: X

[hellomynameisbisexual]

THE 5 SECRET STRENGTHS OF BISEXUALS

There is strength and power in the bisexual+ community.

*** This is a repost for a guest post I originally did for the Bay Area Bisexual Network ***

If you’ve read many articles or research on bisexuality and mental health, you’ve heard all about the “stresses” and “risk factors” for bi+ folks. But if you’re reading this article, it means that you’re connected with BABN, and you probably know from your own experience the strength and power of the bi+ community.

I know that strength and power, too. I’m Dr. Lindsey Brooks, a San Francisco psychologist and proud member of the bi+ community. In this and upcoming guest blogs for BABN, I’m excited to share the positive psychological aspects and strengths of our community for a change.

And yes, I promise, there are many.

For example, coming out as bisexual is shown by recent research to be associated with improved relationships, a feeling of living more authentically, and improved mental health (Brownfield et al., 2018).

I see this reflected in my own work with bi+ clients: The stronger you feel within your own identity, the more you can genuinely connect with others. This connection has powerful benefits for a sense of happiness and belonging. (It’s also important to note that not everyone has the privilege and safety to come out, and not sharing your identity may also be an equally important choice for your mental health.)

In my work with the bi+ community over the past decade, I have witnessed many strengths of the bi+ experience. Here are some of my favorite strengths of being bisexual, based on my experience with bi+ clients and supported by recent research (Scales et al., 2010).

Self-awareness. Recent research suggests that bisexuals make up more than half of the LGB community (Gates, 2011), but have less visibility than their LG counterparts in our culture and society. In the journey of becoming self-aware, it may take time and introspection to first understand that bisexuality even exists, much less understand your own bisexuality. Making sense of your attractions across the gender spectrum can take time. During this reflection time, you can gain more clarity not only on your sexuality, but on who you are as a person. What a wonderful bonus gift of a bisexual identity!

Strong sense of self. Being bisexual in a binary world often means dealing with people who invalidate, erase, or simply refuse to believe your identity. This can be very painful! And, it also gives you practice at reaffirming for yourself, over and over, that you know who you are. You learn to provide yourself that unconditional love and acceptance. Over time, this can build a powerful inner strength and sense of self-love.

Infinite capacity for empathy. The bi+ experience creates a great amount of space to empathize with a wide range of life experiences, including multiple marginalized groups from cultural, sexual, and gender diverse communities. Perhaps it’s the experience of relationships with people across the gender spectrum, or the experience of feeling “in between,” that allows for this empathy to grow. I find this deep empathy benefits bisexual folks both personally and professionally in so many ways.

Positioned to be an ally and advocate. As a bi+ person, you are more likely to move in and out of different community spaces. Perhaps you have queer, straight, and bi+ communities you move within. This gives you opportunity to be a bridge between these communities. You can speak up and advocate when you hear biphobia in the straight or gay community. You can speak up and advocate when you hear homophobia, transphobia, racism, or sexism in any community. As a trusted part of more than one community, your voice can carry weight and influence that others may not have access to.

Write your own script. There is no societal script for what it means to be bisexual. This gives you space to write your own script, and to create relationships and make life choices that work for you. This makes room to break gender expectations, explore what relationship boundaries work for you and your partner(s), and live by your values. You get to define your own life in a way that fosters creativity and joy!

What are your strengths as a bisexual person? I’d love to hear people talking about this at your next BABN get-together!

*** This is a repost for a guest post I originally did for the Bay Area Bisexual Network. See original article here:

https://www.bayareabisexualnetwork.org/blog/guest-blogger-the-5-secret-strengths-of-bisexuals

References:

Brownfield, Jenna M., Brown, Chris, Jeevanba, Sathya Baanu, VanMattson, Sarah B. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, Vol 5(2), Jun 2018, 220-232

Gates, G. J. (2011). How many people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, and

transgender? Retrieved from https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Gates-How-Many-People-LGBT-Apr-2011.pdf

Scales Rostosky, S., Riggle, E. D., Pascale-Hague, D., & McCants, L. E. (2010). The positive aspects of a bisexual self-identification. Psychology and Sexuality, 1, 131–144. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/19419899.2010.484595

[forlorn-crows]

people are so weird about dewdrop so often, like it’s fine to make him like femme stuff and yeah he’s small but so many are like MY UWU BOY SO SOFT like let him live bro!! he’s messy and weird and neurotic and mean! it esp makes me upset when people do that and then hc him as trans, because it feels really obvious that they’re still stuck in the “all trans men are soft bois” phase. there’s a lot of really good dew forcedfem and dew trans stuff, but I feel like if you’re ONLY writing dew like that, maybe you should re-examine why you automatically hc the short, long haired guy as the feminine and trans one. anyways sorry for the rant, ghouls are genderfuck anyways, trans princess mountain supremacy

i know there was a post circulating about this topic a little while ago. and i know there were some good takes and some . . . not so good takes lmao.

there is definitely a boundary between sexualization and appreciation. some people dont know that line. and, like youve mentioned, some people have biases and stereotypes about thin androgynous trans men that dont ever really . . . expand beyond that point. youre absolutely right that if that is seriously the only way you write 'trans dew' (i say this in quotes really bc i think ghouls have a different idea about gender as a whole, but this conversation, like fat female characters, tends to go beyond just ghost when we have it) then i think taking a step back and asking why that is, is important.

like i mentioned earlier, while its okay to have aspects about your characters that are stereotypical, they have to be balanced and incorporated into things that go beyond sexual actions/identity. or what a person is to other people. bc ive read some totally hot, totally well-rounded stuff with forcefem trans bottom dew, like you said. but it can def get repetitive (and a lil sus) if thats literally all someone writes.

bc big, strong ghouls can have cunts too. tiny feminine ghoulettes can have dicks. these are opposite ends of the spectrum kind of examples, but you get the idea. and again, thats not to say 'oh well if people are saying only this kind of trans ghoul gets written, then i need to go the complete opposite direction and write them the other way!' cause like. gender has nuances and has nothing to do with personality, you feel? can the way you express your gender have to do with personality? yes. but yeah, they dont dictate each other.

and, as a cis person, my advice about trans ghouls in general is you should know the hard lines not to write. and you shouldnt act like you know everything. especially when it comes to transitioning, hormones, surgeries, etc. i hope i dont come across that way, and its why i dont ever explore those aspects in my writing. i dont have the experience (and again, i think it works differently as ghouls but i digress)

BUT. everyone has different experiences regardless of body type and whatever junk you got. thus, everyone can feel differently about the way a trans character is portrayed. some people are like 'hell no i dont want to read about any P in V sex' and others are like 'literally give me every dick in the vicinity'. you know? theres a lot of fluidity (hah) to explore, and i dont think one should be discouraged in writing 'trans' ghouls even if they're cis. take valid criticisms when necessary and needed, but like. they're hellbeasts. they arent human anyway haha. i would like more monster aspects, personally (tentacles anyone?)

and yes, i support the trans princess mountain agenda, please continue to spread it hahaha