#marlene x regulus

[trohpi]

regulene is the kind of couple that confuses the living shit out of straight people. marlene is extremely butch, like shes on t kind of butch, and regulus is a super fem crossdresser and everyone sort of assumes that theyre both gay so when they see regulene together their brains malfunction

[starchaser98]

"Not every ship has to be gay!"

Girl you're using TUMBLR. THE gayland. What did you expect?

[sspadfoot]

The Marauders doing the trauma dumping sweet trend on TikTok

Sirius: My names Sirius and my parents used to torture me as a punishment until I had to run away and I brought haribos

Remus: My names Remus and when I was 5 I was bit by a werewolf because he hated my dad and I brought sour patch kids

Peter: My names Peter and I was tortured until I joined a fascist cult and I brought giant strawberries

James: My names James and my boyfriend broke up with my to join the cult because his parents told him to and I brought jolly ranchers

Regulus: My names Regulus and I’m that boyfriend. I also tried to drown myself on multiple occasions and I brought marshmallows

Barty: My names Barty and I was imperioed by my dad for most of my life, until I became crazy, and I brought twizzlers

Evan: My names Evan and I was forced by my parents to join a cult and I brought rainbow laces cause we’re all fruity

Pandora: My names Pandora and I can see the future so I saw all of my friends and family die and I brought skittles

Dorcas: My names Dorcas and my girlfriend was killed by one of my oldest friends and then I had to go face to face with the leader of the cult and I brought airheads

Lily: My names lily and my sister hated me for most of my life and I had a horrible toxic best friend who called me slurs and I brought nerds

Marlene: My names Marlene and I was killed by my best friend, my sister was also kidnapped and tortured and I brought Reeces

Mary: My names Mary and I was obliviated by my headteacher and I don’t remember why and I brought squashies

[pxrty-crxsher]

Sirius: So how did you guys get together?

Barty: He was watching me, like a stalker.

Evan: Everyday, for a straight month.

Barty: Gay month you mean?

Remus: …

Sirius: Anyways.. what I mean is, what happened that made you think, ‘oh I want him as my boyfriend’ ?

Barty: He was stalking me and I thought it was hot.

[isabel-lillah]

2:56 AM, James sneaking out of Regulus's room and Marlene sneaking out of Dorcas's room

James:

Marlene:

James: Dorcas, right?

Marlene: yeah, you?

James: Regulus

Marlene: ah

Marlene: soo wanna start a club talking about secretly dating some grumpy slytherins?

James: oooh absolutely

[remuslupinlovebot]

marauders era p links (18+)

all links lead to p0rn !! watch at your own risk and do not watch in public

part 2 out now!

REGULUS BLACK

regulus fingering you in his dorm

regulus bouncing you on his cock

JAMES POTTER

riding james when he visits you for summer break

james celebrating a quidditch win

james absolutely devouring you as if you were his last meal on earth (this is the hottest video)

james teasing you while you’re wearing his hoodie

james stuffing you full and showing how much you mean to him

james eating his pretty girl out

SIRIUS BLACK

sirius making his girl feel good

showing sirius what a good girl you are

69’ing with sirius

sirius using his long fingers to make you cum

morning fucks with sirius

sirius fucking you at your house

REMUS LUPIN

remus fucking your face

remus fucking you in the bathroom before a full moon

riding professor lupin

getting extra credit with professor lupin

BARTY CROUCH JR

bouncing on bartys cock

barty fucking the LIFE out of you

MARLENE MCKINNON

marlene riding the life out of you

marlene making you look in the mirror as she destroys you

marlene fingering you till you’re shaking

making a sex tape with marlene

marlene eating you out

making out with marlene

LILY EVANS

fucking lily with a d!ldo

intimate but intense foreplay with lily

fucking lily in the common room

sucking mommy’s tits like a good girl

roommate lily helping you out

car sex with lily

thanking lily for date night by eating her out

lily sitting on your face <3

using mommy’s tits to cum

MARY MACDONALD

mary bringing you to heaven with her fingers

mary sending you a video while you’re on a work trip

home alone with mary

fucking mary after coming home to her all dolled up

making mary cum

eating mary out by the pool

DORCAS MEADOWES

eating dorcas out till she’s whimpering

(doesn’t really look like dorcas but it’s hot so whatever) devouring dorcas on the kitchen counter

giving dorcas special treatment after a night out

dorcas riding you

RANDOM

marlene eating lily out to give her a break from studying

pansy parkinson riding the genuine life out of you

pandora, dorcas and barty having fun when the dorms are empty

foreplay with lily and nb partner (not RLLY p0rṉ)

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF ANY DON’T WORK!!

find part 2: here

[moutainrusing]

Dorcas: Don’t you just love it when girls…?

Regulus: When girls?

Regulus: When girls what?

Dorcas’ brain: GIRLS I LOVE GIRLS I’M IN LOVE WITH MARLENE GIRLS ARE SO PRETTY OH I AM SO GAY—

Dorcas: Huh? Did you ask me something?

Regulus, shaking his head: Personally. I do not love it when girls.

Regulus: I love it when boys.

Regulus’ brain: BOYS I LOVE BOYS I’M IN LOVE WITH JAMES BOYS ARE SO PRETTY OH I AM SO GAY—

[icedcoffeebabyy]

I fear no fancast will ever match how sexy Sirius Black actually is.

[melstinybrain]

[james and regulus walking in the Great Hall holding hands]

marlene: so, who finally confessed?

regulus, with a proud smile: it was me. I made sure it was short and sweet.

james: you yelled 'listen here you little shit. I have feelings for you and it's about time you acknowledge them' from the astronomy tower.

regulus: it worked though.

[mochafrappiccinolatte]

My new headcannon is that James talks in his sleep and that’s how everyone finds out he’s dating Regulus.

It starts with Remus and his wolf hearing when James is napping and Remus is in the bathroom.

Lily, Mary and Marlene find out together when James falls asleep while playing cards with them in the common room. He wakes up to Mary laughing and Marlene passing Lily a couple galleons - they don’t tell him why.

Then it’s Pete, who got up in the middle of the night for a glass of water and comes back to James curled around a pillow mumbling something that sounds a lot like Reggie please. He casts a silencing spell and draw his curtains.

Sirius is the last because he sleeps like the dead and James is always up before him. But Sirius has a nightmare the night after a full so he has to crawl into bed with James. After hearing James say “Reg baby right like that” in his ear, he realizes there are worse things than nightmares about Walburga.

[trohpi]

@microficmay • day 10: rise & fall • 869 words

cross-posted on ao3

In Marlene’s humble opinion, there are only three known constants in this ever-changing world: Chocolate is the superior ice cream flavour, Joan Jett is cool as fuck, and Regulus Black is one regrettably attractive poncy bastard— one that needs to get knocked off his high horse. Desperately.

Seeing as Madam Hooch had banned Marlene from speaking during the start of their games many moons ago following some titillating banter with the Black brother in question, they can only hope that the challenging glint in their eyes is enough to send the intended message.

You’re going down, Black.

The other Seeker merely raises his eyebrow, all haughty and aristocratic as if to say, That’s what you said last time.

By Merlin, does Marlene hate him.

All too soon the shrill blast of Madam Hooch’s whistle rings clear, and the game begins. Within moments, they’ve risen into the clouds as their eyes scan for the ever-elusive glint of gold. Across the pitch he sees Regulus doing the same which only fuels the flames of his stubborn resolve.

Marlene will catch the Snitch before Regulus does, if only so they can rub that sweet Gryffindor victory in his annoyingly pretty face.

“Oi, Marlene!” someone calls from some feet away. They drag their eyes away from Regulus and look over to see Sirius, Beater’s bat held loosely in his fist as he hovers nearby. His narrowed eyes bore holes into them.

They level him with the blankest of stares. “What?”

Sirius huffs and turns to fly off, but not before he calls over his shoulder wryly, “Stop ogling my brother and do your job!”

“Oh, fuck you, Black!” he calls after his friend, his face burning.

In the end, it really doesn’t take long for them to see the Snitch, nor does it take long for Regulus to take notice of their sudden burst of flight as they hightail it across the pitch. Within seconds he’s right behind them, and the race to win officially begins.

If Marlene had to choose their favourite part of Quidditch, it would be this. There’s nothing quite like the exhilarating rush of speed, the bobbing and weaving through the air as they push themself to the limit, the thrill of racing against fellow Seekers. The thrill of racing against Regulus, who is one of the most skilled players Marlene has ever gone up against— not that they’d ever tell him that.

Marlene’s heart races as they push forward, the Snitch tantalisingly close. Scooting higher on his broom, reaching out with his right hand, he can almost taste victory in the air.

That is, of course, until the Bludger.

Regulus shouts out as the bewitched ball flies in between the two Seekers, crashing into the tail end of Marlene’s broom. It tips over, and everything seemingly stops.

Their heart stutters as the freeing feeling of weightlessness disappears, replaced by heaviness as their broom slips from their fingers and gravity takes over, dragging them down.

Marlene gasps as they plummet.

“Fuck!” they hear Regulus cry from above, and they barely have time to ponder how odd it is to hear him curse before he is diving after them.

It feels like eternity, but it must be only moments before his slender fingers grab them by the wrist and catch them from midair. He grips onto them fiercely as he slowly descends to the ground.

“Merlin, Marlene,” he gasps as they touch down, immediately tossing the broom to the side as he cups their face in his hands. “Never do that again.”

“Never do what, get knocked off my broom? Not like I can bloody control that,” they say breathlessly. His hands are cold on their face, and they find that that’s all they can really think about.

Regulus decompresses, sighing shakily. They hesitate before clearing their throat.

“Is now bad timing to tell you that I caught the Snitch?”

Regulus hands fall from their face in shock. “You what?”

“Right before I fell,” Marlene says, opening his enclosed right hand to showcase the Snitch lying within. Distantly, he hears the crowds go wild as the commentator screams about Gryffindor’s victory. Regulus blinks in astonishment.

“Guess this means I can add another point to my wins column,” they add smugly. Regulus hums, disagreeing.

“I’d beg to differ. I won today.”

They splutter. “Wha— You absolutely did not!”

“I absolutely did,” he says calmly.

They wave the Snitch in front of his face. “I literally beat you!”

“And I literally just saved your life,” he shoots back.

Marlene groans dramatically, deflating. “I hate you so, so much.”

Regulus opens his mouth to reply, but he’s cut off by the sudden loud exclamation of, “What the actual fuck!”

Sirius throws his broom onto the ground where he just touched down, storming over to them.

“You fell! You seriously fell!”

“Well spotted,” Regulus quips. Sirius ignores him.

“Does your weird flirting with my brother have to include nearly falling to your death?” Sirius demands, throwing his arms up in the air theatrically.

Regulus’ lips twitch upwards and Marlene’s face heats even as he scowls.

“Shove off, Sirius. Don’t you and Crouch have your own brand of weird flirting to do?”

“Touché, McKinnon. Touché.”

[ecstarry]

imagine regulus’ bachelor trip were he made pandora best woman and she makes everyone wear pink team groom shirts and pink cowboy hats with sparkles and honestly reg doesn’t mind because the sight of all of them with matching shirts in the airport is fucking hilarious they are in the american express lounge waiting for their flight and parents are keeping their children close and covering their ears because barty ‘bad mouth’ crouch can’t stop talking about all the absolutely not family friendly activities they will be doing that weekend

[vinylfoxbooks]

September 6 - Glass | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 292

“So since you’re dating Remus now,” Mary says to Sirius, “That leaves James as the only straight one in your group, right?”

Marlene nearly spits out her drink at that, “You think James is straight?”

“You don’t think that he is?” 

“Please,” Dorcas adds from where she’s sitting behind Marlene, “That boy is not straight. The closet is glass.”

Mary moves from looking at the two of them to flitting between Sirius and Lily, “Do you guys think that James is gay? I mean, you dated him, Lily. And you’re his best friend, Sirius.”

Lily hums, “I think there’s a possibility that he likes men, too. James feels like the type of person to not care about gender.”

“I don’t see it,” Mary shakes her head, “Sirius, what about you?” Sirius just shrugs, not sure of what to say. It’s not like he can just go, ‘yeah, James is completely and utterly in love with my little brother and brought several men to the dorm before then’ and completely out his best friend.

Mary groans at his lack of reaction, talking about how he’s impossible to work with. She turns to Alice and Frank, “You two, back me up here. Frank, you work with James all the time. There’s no way that he’s gay.” However, she stops short when the portrait to the common room swings open and James comes walking in. And while that’s normal, what isn’t is that he’s pulling Regulus behind him by the hand, leaning into the younger’s body and laughing at something, absolutely enamoured by the sight of Regulus. He’s quick to lead the younger Black towards the boy’s dormitories and Mary groans, “I guess that answers my question. There was absolutely no straight explanation for that.”

[jameskinniesrise]

Marlene comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Dorcas’s bedroom. Dorcas: Babe, are you.. coming to bed? Marlene: No thank you, I’m sure you’re lovely but I have a girlfriend. Marlene: Lies on the ground and falls asleep Dorcas: …

[pxrty-crxsher]

*power goes out*

Evan: Fucking shit, I can’t see anything

Barty: Don’t worry. I’ve got this covered.

Barty: *stomps feet*

Barty: *sketchers light up*

Barty: You’re welcome

[moonyspride]

sirius: bad news - reggie locked himself outside of his and james’ house.

sirius: good news - we didn't have to wait around for a locksmith.

sirius: bad news - james finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. i was too embarrassed to admit that the reason i learned it was because, at thirteen, i figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute guys.

sirius: good news- a cute guy saw me do it.

sirius: bad news - it was remus, and since he’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because i saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows i can ride a unicycle, he’ll never think i’m cool no matter what i do. it's too late. he knows.

marlene: you’re a fool.