#monogamy. it is heartbreaking

[vizthedatum]

I am learning (thankfully now, even though I'm in my thirties) that I shouldn't be afraid to share my successes, good news, my love for my friends/partners, bad news, my insecurities, etc. with someone I'm in a relationship with.

I shouldn't be afraid that they will retaliate or throw a tantrum.

I shouldn't be afraid that they'll resent me or want something in return for supporting me.

THAT IS NOT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP.

*sobs* Healthy partners support each other's successes or failures, even when they've had a bad day. Or they set personal boundaries when they don't have the capacity to support.

They won't turn on you.

The ones who do... are the ones who need major internal healing, and they're the ones who are not healthy for you.

[underneath-my-bed]

i'm just annoyed about how much i miss him and i can't say that because i know he doesn't. i mean he likes me but he's so damn fine with me going away. is not like i'll be breaking his heart, he will be like "well go do your thing, wish you the best". and I KNOW it sounds lovely but i spent all my life romanticizing people having fear of losing me. and then this guy comes along, giving me enough space to come and go. he doesn't say i love you and only said i miss you once. i wanted so bad that he said both of those things everyday. but like: would that be enough to heal my insecurities? will something ever be enough for me to be at peace in a relationship? cause i keep finding ways to keep myself from being happy with someone. i envy people who are jealous or codependent without guilt, cause is so much harder dealing with it in a emotional responsible way (like i am). it fucking hurts, man.

[lesbian1995]

I’ve grown pretty content with being polyamorous and trying to explore new relationships (not that I’ve had much luck!) while also letting my girlfriend do the same (not that she needs my permission..) but I see married lesbians and feel… sad. Like I still want a wife. Part of me still wants monogamy. It’s all so confusing and heartbreaking. I’m so tired of being hurt in relationships and sacrificing my happiness one way or another. I guess I still haven’t learned that relationships aren’t like in the Disney movies.

[irisesinyoureyes]

tw: mention of sa (only mention, no details)

i made @mylilacmoon at the end of 2020, after a bad breakup (the person i was dating told me they fell for their coworker/were poly and left me to date the other person even though they never mentioned wanting to be poly before then). i made another blog this year and wanted to merge the blogs into one account, so that's why i've re-blogged all of these posts.

since 2020, i healed from my physical chronic illnesses (chronic fatigue syndrome, postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, and mast cell activation syndrome). dm me if you want any info on how i did that btw. i "re-entered" society, started climbing again, realized i am autistic, and started working in the outdoor education field!

i also dated and broke up with another person. we were together for about a year and a half and lived together for a month. we started as an open relationship (because i had done some research and wanted to try that relationship style out). we defined our relationship as monogam-ish (meaning, it was us as primary, but we also had strong queerplatonic relationships). but the same thing happened: they fell in love with their coworker! they wanted to keep dating, but they completely disregarded me and only wanted to spend an hour together each week (while seeing their "girlfriend" every day). it was so weird. they explicitly said they were not polyamorous, just wanted an open relationship in order to have freedom to keep their queerplatonic partnerships (which, same). i had to break up with them--i was not being treated well (more on that later).

i learned a lot about relationships through this experience. i like relationship anarchy. i like non-hierarchical monogamy. i also feel very uncomfortable being polysexual. i think polyamorous people are great and that relationship structure can definitely work with good communication skills! i believe both monogamy and polyamory work and are 100% valid. i don't like compulsory, toxic monogamy, though.

i also learned how codependent i really am. i am currently working through this with my therapist. it's been such a freeing process to realize everyone takes care of themself so i don't have to.

i still miss my most recent ex (we broke up in march of this year 2023). it ended on a bad note (dishonesty, crossing boundaries, and quite honestly SA). i am healing. i am recovering. i miss them and never want to see them again. i hope they're well and they are able to see the harm they caused, but they need to do that away from me.

so anyway, i think i want this blog to be more about my codependency recovery. but we'll see what path i take. thanks for following along!

[i-will-say-im-in-love]

Im feeling kind of hartbroken so that was the catalyst for creating this second blog.

[mikandian]

s3 ian sitting in that hotel room with a predator, telling him that he actually has a boyfriend he’s waiting for is actually top 5 most heartbreaking ian moments. every time someone says ian doesn’t deserve mickey i gesture frantically at the married men who groomed him to believe love and monogamy were fancy gifts and hotel rooms

[breadinanutshell]

Ok little rant here because I keep seeing this kind of comments pop up.

Let’s talk Halsin and polyamory.

Because apparently making ace characters allo and gay characters straight is a crime against god, but nobody seems to care when poly identities are erased. I hate starting drama but it's honestly heartbreaking seeing how many people are happy to disregard Halsin’s polyamory entirely.

Does Halsin need better writing? Yes, he’s been done dirty by a rush job and Larian leaning a bit too heavily on the horny. But I think it's very telling that what some of you consider bad writing is the fact that you can't have a monogamous relationship with him.

I see people very hung up on this line:

Like this is some proof that Halsin secretly longs for monogamy but he’s too traumatized to admit it. Which is. Very insulting. He’s traumatized. He’s poly. The two things need not be related. If the only way you can conceive Halsin being poly is out of trauma, I don’t think I need to tell you just how yikes that sounds.

I’m personally not a big fan of this line. I always found it a little fetishy, like the game is giving you the go ahead to build a harem. But I’d also like to point out that the line doesn’t preclude the possibility he doesn’t want other partners right this moment, but might in the future.

People seem to conveniently forget the other instances where Halsin states his position on polyamory.

But all of this keeps getting brushed off in favour of that one line, because for some of you it’s inconceivable that a person would be capable of romantic attraction towards multiple partners. Like love from a polyamorous person is somehow lacking, weaker, less meaningful, inferior.

And it’s not just him, I’ve seen people pull this shit with Astarion and Shadowheart too, claiming that they’re lying when they say they’re ok with Halsin joining your bed. “He’s insecure!” “She’s lonely!” “They’re scared of being abandoned!” The implication here being that polyamorous people are broken, because nobody in their right mind would be ok having multiple partners, right?

Polyamory rarely if ever gets any decent representation, but god forbid you don’t take away the only scrap we get just because it makes you uncomfy.

[autistichalsin]

One of the most beautiful and understated parts of Halsin's arc is meaning.

In addition to showing kindness- like I mentioned in an earlier post- Halsin's love of nature symbolizes how he finds meaning in small things. It's why he loves honey; it's his little indulgence. It's why he loves ducks, whittling, and whittling ducks; because ducks are migratory birds, but they remind him of finding home.

In nature, Halsin sees life lessons. He sees meaning. He sees strength and protection and love in bears, he sees journeys and homecomings i ducks, he sees joy and simplicity in dogs. He sees strength and resilience and even beauty in trees, beginnings in roots, and wonder in the sky. It all has a meaning to him.

Even less happy things he acknowledges; he sees death as just as important as life, chaos as a necessary counter to order to keep balance (befitting his Druidic beliefs). He sees those who hate small talk as just as worthy of consideration as those who share his own love of rambling, and he sees monogamy as having just as much of a place in the world as polyamory even if the former will never be for him. Everything has a place, and he sees that.

He sees meaning in both the big and small things. He knows there is an underlying message behind so many actions and thoughts and beliefs, and those are important to him. He sees meaning in everything in the natural world, viewing it as a bounty from his deity.

And that actually reflects in his repeated choices to show kindness. It's his way of seeing the meaning of a child's laugh or a refugee's plight and knowing how to respond. It's part of why he's so flexible, because all of the different perspectives and attitudes matter to him.

I find it very telling that in the cut scenes where the characters would have been taunted in the Morphic Pool by hallucinations sent by the brain to dig in to their insecurities, Halsin's was saying that everything was meaningless. That the world should be allowed to burn while Halsin should give up. The taunt would have shown Halsin's struggles at that point in his life- his fight against cynicism (having given up cynicism around the age of 200), his frustrations with the ways cruelty is allowed to flourish (like his heartbreaking comments if Orin kills Yenna in the camp or his comments on the plight of the orphans in the city), his worries that perhaps his efforts are Archdruid were meaningless because he had few successes to show for his efforts. That image would have shown just who Halsin is- someone who wants so desperately, for better and worse, for everything to mean something.

And in overcoming it, Halsin would have shown one of his most beautiful traits- the ability to enact change in subtle ways, not obvious ones. Not in being a war hero or a folk legend, but in making his own meaning, for himself, and often for others too. When he sees children suffering, he makes a community where he can care for them. When he sees a Shadow Curse blight the land for 100 years while no one cares enough to fight it, he holds hope until he can break it himself. When others mock him for being a bear-man who loves honey, he indulges just as much, reasoning that as long as others are affected, he has a right to enjoy himself. When others sigh that he's talking about nature, again, and maybe he should talk about art instead, he turns it back to nature and saying that a tree is one of the most splendorous things in the world. When Halsin is, in his bad ending, left in the Shadow-Cursed Lands to try and break the curse on his own, he finds hope in his brief memories of traveling with the party, using those to sustain himself.

He makes his own meaning of the world. He refuses to believe that it's all without a purpose, even when he's miserable at the Grove or when he has no idea what his purpose is anymore once he breaks the Shadow Curse. He knows there's an answer- and if he can't find it readily, he will make it himself, and that's exactly why he ends up making a commune for those in need in the end, where he is adored by children and presumably adults alike.

Everything and everyone is important to him. He's a sentimental being at heart in a world that wants more than anything to toughen him up and stamp that out of him, and he refuses., and his devotion to kindness and meaningfulness are why he ends up so happy in his ending.

[vizthedatum]

Polyamory is about love, community, and caring for each other while respecting our various human needs

Maybe THE REAL polyamory is:

(context: you're in a telephonic court hearing with your ex/spouse)

your girlfriend sitting on your left rubbing your back/legs and wordlessly sending supportive vibes

your other girlfriend messaging you loving affirmations (bc she couldn't be there)

your friend (who you have a huge crush on despite you breaking up with them several months ago because you're a disaster-queer, and they're probably one too, and maybe y'all weren't compatible but, like, you talk every day, and they're one of your best friends now lmao) checking in on you

your ex-lover and close friend (who you also have a huge crush on and you enjoy his company immensely, and you've made plans to go swimming in his pool (with your partners) multiple times this upcoming summer lmao) sitting on your right holding your hand and then buying you drinks and snacks from the coop nearby (*cries*)

your casual long-distance lover and friend being super kind and supportive the past several days (well, tbh, the past year basically)

multiple friends reaching out and not invalidating your trauma... and not invalidating your very understandable human responses to everything you've gone through

your long-distance roommate/QPP (queer platonic partner) being a badass and so loving <3

this guy who you barely know, who wants to have sex with you but has heard/listened (and hopefully understood) to your emotional needs (because you're trying to be better with communicating that now), consistently messaging you every day to greet you, be supportive, and turn you on (in a respectful way) -- (and you honestly don't even know if you want to pursue him (it's all so initial), but like, also, this is such an ideal approach and situation for a more mature series of potential hookups)

consistent sapphic yearning because, as established, you're a disaster-queer

making plans to go to an event with your poly friend and a new lover person (*swoons*) this weekend! The social support has just been essential to my regulation and self-care.

co-regulation with my whole polycule and friend group, since *quotes own blog* meow (it's true though! and we are stronger for everything that we're all going through. together.)

and learning/healing attachment traumas while acknowledging that you've made mistakes in the past (and that harm has also been done to you) - it is not easy to be so vulnerable and to love again, but it is essential for me (even though I'm so scared I'll be hurt again)

[hellomynameisbisexual]

"We are challenging people to face their own external and internal biphobia. We are demanding attention. We are redefining 'anything that moves' on our own terms."

So declares the introduction to Anything That Movies, a bisexual zine that ran from 1991 to 2001. Founded by editor and photographer Karla Rossi, Anything That Moves got its name from the stereotype that bisexual people will sleep with "anything that moves," and it sought to redefine these and other assumptions about bi people in its decade-long run. Rossi didn't respond to Mashable's request for comment.

All 22 issues of Anything That Moves are now archived by a group of young bisexual people and allies. Not only does the archive introduce a new generation to a rare instance of bi-focused writing, but it's also shockingly relevant to issues bi people face today.

Discovering the bisexual zine

Snippets of the introduction have circulated the internet in recent years, and they're referred to as the ATM "manifesto" on its website. The words caught the attention of bi writer Kravitz Marshall, but he had never seen other material from the zine.

In 2020, Marshall found the Anything That Moves website, a relic of the early 2000s with an incomplete archive. He then bought issue #16 from Bolerium Books, a source for out-of-print books and material related to social movements. Marshall scanned each page of the issue and uploaded it online for free; he had planned on doing this for all issues of Anything That Moves, but acquaintances on a bisexual Discord server expressed interest in helping. The discussion grew so much that they created a separate server.

"It was the first time I became aware such a thing existed and I became very excited at the thought of finding and reading more copies," said Jo, a bi femme activist who became involved in the project and now helms the archive email.

The group found issue #2 via Reddit, but believed finding all the issues would be a difficult process — until a member of the now-inactive archive server was able to gather PDFs of every issue through her university library.

"It was thrilling and such a relief," Marshall told Mashable, "because had this not happened, we might've had to do it the hard and expensive way."

"It happened so fast," Jo recalled. "I just remember about seven bisexuals, including Krav and myself, putting our heads together to figure out the best way to get our hands on all these copies and how to share them with the rest of the LGBTQ community."

Now, the work of Marshall, Jo, and a group of bi people and allies is gathered in the archive.

Joy and heartbreak of Anything That Moves

Reading through the archive is, personally, an ambivalent experience. Anything That Moves began before I was even born, and I feel kindred reading this decades-old work; it's like reading discussions I've had with bi friends back to me. The articles, reviews, fiction, and poetry in discusses visibility, (non)monogamy, the inclusion of trans people in bisexuality — to name merely a few topics still pertinent today.

Despite the joy of reading this bi-centric work, however, it's telling how little has changed since 1991.

Jo, who grew up in a conservative area, found the zine refreshing and comforting. "Even when you discover/read/watch anything regarding LGBTQ history, it’s very rare for any specific focus to be given to the bisexual community," they said. "Finding Anything That Moves was a shock to my system."

Marshall was touched by the "unfiltered life" within its pages. "There's urgency, there's knowledge, there's joy, there's righteous rage, there's lust," Marshall said, "and you don't have to go searching between the lines for it — it grabs your shoulders and shakes you until you reach the back cover."

Despite the joy of reading this bi-centric work, however, it's telling how little has changed since 1991.

For Jo, the experience of reading Anything That Moves has been both special and heartbreaking. "A lot of the subject matter is stuff that the bi community has been dealing with forever," they said. "The same stereotypes and heterosexism that bisexuals faced nearly thirty years ago are still very prevalent today."

"It really hits you that virtually nothing has changed about the outside perception of bisexuality and bisexuals," Marshall agreed. "Almost every single issue we grapple with now is a hand-me-down."

He pointed to a piece in the inaugural issue called "This Poem Can Be Put Off No Longer" to display his point. Here are the first few stanzas:

The first several stanzas of "This Poem Can Be Put Off No Longer" by Susan Carlton, featured in the first issue of 'Anything That Moves.' Credit: Anything That Moves / Susan Carlton

The poem continues, but the point is clear from the start: Bisexual people aren't believed for who they are. They're belittled and told to "choose a side," that they're bisexual for attention. It's difficult to think that this poem is over 30 years old.

The poem "truly could've been written yesterday... or 50 years ago," said Marshall. "How long do we have to keep screaming the same things to the world over and over until people stop pretending we're speaking another galaxy's language?"

Stigma against bisexuality still persists today, and impacts people's lives: Bisexual people are more likely to be anxious and depressed; they're also more likely to experience intimate partner violence.

The stagnancy of the world's perception of bisexual people infuriates Marshall, he said, but it's imperative to still talk about these issues. "You can't just stop talking about these issues, so you just say the same things, because the world that needs to listen to you refuses to move on. And I'm not a fan of repeating myself," he said. "You just feel like you're going crazy."

The solace of Anything That Moves, however, is that even though progress has been slow, fellow bisexual people can relate to the shared experience detailed in its pages.

"How long do we have to keep screaming the same things to the world over and over until people stop pretending we're speaking another galaxy's language?"

After Jo came out, for example, they internalized that being bi made them "second-rate." They didn't feel welcome in cisheterosexual circles nor LGBTQ circles, a common feeling for bisexual people who feel like they're straddling both. Searching for issues of Anything That Moves, part of bisexual history, helped Jo connect with other bi people. Being able to meet others facing the same issues, and sharing this historical information and searching for more, has made the biggest impact on them and their identity.

"I don't feel as alone as I once did because bisexuals of today wanted to learn more about their bisexual elders," they said.

Those who have found the archive have also felt that connection. The archive team has received waves of emails, messages, and followers — some wanting to help, others thanking them.

"For the most part, people are just delighted to finally get to read the magazine," Marshall said.

Even this positive feedback echoes the sentiment of the time. Readers wrote to Anything That Moves, and some of those letters are published in subsequent issues. "You can see so clearly how life-changing these publications were to some people," Marshall said, "so thank God it was brought to the world."

"It's something I definitely needed when I was a closeted, bisexual teenager."

The archive has helped current bi readers ground in their bisexuality, Jo said. The archivists even connected with some former Anything That Moves editors, who discovered them through the project. "I'm just happy we got a chance to say thank you for everything they left for us to discover," Jo said.

There's still work to be done for the archive, like transcriptions for easier reading and sharing. Some people involved even planned on making an original virtual bi zine, Marshall said, but due to personal commitments, the idea fizzled out within months.

"I still hope it'll exist one day," Marshall said. "If by some miracle the future grants me that wish, I won't reveal its title, but I find it pleasantly cheeky."

For now, of course, there's nearly two-dozen issues of Anything That Moves. Jo believes the zine is a gift.

"I want to be able to share this gift with anyone else who may need it," they said. "It's something I definitely needed when I was a closeted, bisexual teenager."

[heretherebedork]

The Boston Nick stuff made me really sad. And not because I feel like I wants them to have more screen time or that I wanted Nick to date Dan. Both are true, but I’m mostly satisfied with their depiction in the finale.

They make me sad because it’s such a good example of two people really liking each other, but being fundamentally incompatible. I personally feel Boston making out with Boeing while on a date with Nick was a dick move, but it was the prime example of how they just can’t work together.

Boston can’t do monogamy, which is fine. But Nick also can’t deal with an open relationship as much as he tries to force himself to. It clearly deeply upsets him to see Boston with other people because for Nick, sex and relationships are intertwined.

And it’s so sad to watch how Boston clearly does really like Nick. He wants to do all those sweet boyfriend things with him. He wants to kiss him at midnight and brings him a present and tells him how cute he is. But Nick isn’t getting what he needs from their relationship.

Their needs are fundamentally incompatible, and the show doesn’t try to keep them together for the sake of a happy ending.

And like I actually teared up a little bc it’s sad :(

I wish that the show had explored that without turning it into shaming Boston for not being that at every turn.

Because, you're right, it's actually a beautiful exploration of what happens when you love someone and they love you but you love in such different ways that all your love does it hurt.

What does it mean to love someone you only hurt by loving them? How can you love each other when the very act of love asks you to be something you are not? Is it love? It is, you know you love him and he loves you but you can't do this, not even for him.

And it's beautiful.

Boston telling Nick directly that he views relationships and sex as two separate things and realizing over the course of the episode that Nick doesn't was heartbreaking for both of them and didn't need everyone shaming Boston for not being monogamous and telling Nick he could 'do better' when it's not about that. It's about different people loving differently and that's okay.

... I have a lot of feelings about this because it's important, damnit. Boston wasn't anywhere near the worst character in the show but he had the absolute worst ending including fake forgiveness from a friend and then being rejected by every single person he might have cared about.

And he didn't deserve that, no matter what the narrative tried to say.

[polyamorouscultureis]

I've always been a bit of a late bloomer and I'm currently in my 20s and haven't even been on a date. I know I'm polyamorous and would love to jump head first into trying to start a poly relationship via dating apps or what have you but I feel like I'm supposed to have at least my first relationship be monogamous. Should I wait before trying to find a poly lifestyle that works for me

Don't pressure yourself into a relationship where you know you won't be comfortable - you risk not only hurting yourself but also your presumably monogamous partner. It's great if you want to experiment and figure out if you prefer monogamy, but if you're already sure you don't, there's no need to set you and your potential partner up for inevitable heartbreak.

[myckicade]

@motleystitches left me this lovely, thought-provoking comment, and I wanted to take some time to answer it throughly:

"But was there at any time genuine affection between Louis/Lestat? That’s the part I feel is really awkward. Ep 5 seems to be asking to reinterpret all the previous episodes. Yeah, it’s abusive, violent, but ep5 made it seem like *everything* was just fake to Lestat, so they never went into a “pattern” at all. instead, it was just a game/hunt to Lestat…"

First, I apologize for taking multiple days to answer this. Second, let me clarify that I will make mention of things that I feel explain each character's shitty behavior. Explanation does not equal excuse. There is simply no excusing a great deal of what has gone down here.

So, to dive right in: Yes, I absolutely believe there was - and, still is - genuine affection and love between Louis and Lestat. That love is, quite understandably, not sitting around in plain view during the events of 01x05. Things have spiraled so far out of control between the two of them - lying, cheating, manipulating - that neither party seems to like the other, all that much, right now. While this is the first time the two of them have clashed to such extremes, it is hardly their first time at-odds. Love can survive a lot, and there's something about twisted, fucked-up, these-two-should-not-be-together love that seems to lend a little extra elasticity before the break.

To look at each character, I guess I'll begin with Public Enemy Number One. When the two initially met, I would agree that Lestat was on the hunt, both vampiric and romantic. The thrill of the chase was alive and well, as I should think most beings experience when they have a goal in-mind. And, as much as Lestat tries to separate vampire from human, he is still victim to basic human nature. He wants love. He wants companionship. I just don't think he's terribly fond of the idea of that he needs it.

Lestat, if you should ask me, is a terrible liar, even to himself. This, I think, is where a lot of the manipulation comes from. It looks ugly as hell, at face value, but I think a lot of it is rooted in insecurity. He either doesn't know how, or - for my money - doesn't want to ask for the things he shouldn't need. The things he should be strong enough to do without. Things that, in the past, have probably come back to bite him in the ass. So, he comes up with other ways to get them, to entice Louis into giving him what he wants. Again, manipulation is manipulation, but I don't think it comes from a place of falsehood when it comes to Louis. He wants from Louis, but he doesn't want Louis to know that he holds that kind of power over him. Unfortunately for him, it slips out when he feels that he's faced with no other choice to get what he wants.

Monogamy is my favourite example. His assurance to Louis that other people are acceptable is so terribly, obviously transparent, only to have a complete, unsurprising meltdown in the face of Louis taking advantage of their agreement. While there is definitely bullshit to be called in the double-standard, Lestat also comes across as genuinely heartbroken. And, who could blame him? (I'm sure many could, but, I'm speaking to the heartbreak, not the actions that followed). Here is his partner, who - by said partner's own admission - has little sexual desire for Lestat, only to take up with an old friend at the drop of a hat. I can tell you from experience, that is a shitty feeling. To have your partner show no desire to do something with you (not necessarily sexual), only to be all too willing to give it a go with someone else. That said, I firmly believe that Lestat wanted to believe it would be fine with it, to know that Louis was with someone else. Otherwise, he's in it too deep. He's jealous. That jealousy and heartache become weakness, and those weaknesses can be exploited at Louis' will.

And, Louis… This is what I love about this series, is that everyone is feeling this story in so many different ways. Personally, if I was to find anyone's love to be in doubt, it would be Louis'. He's so caught up in resentment of Lestat, for turning him, for killing to survive, for all of the basic things that Lestat is... He clearly has difficulty in getting around that. Louis has a very mild way of showing affection. Granted, a great many beings in this world are not affectionate, and that is just fine. In his case, it makes sense that at least some of it comes from a lifetime of being told that his feelings were, to quote, "a crime against nature". He doesn't owe Lestat affection, and he's not obligated, but... A lack of attention doesn't tend to work very well, when paired with a needy personality. Again, I'm not saying Louis should give Lestat everything that he wants. But, he knows what his standoff-ish ways do to Lestat. There's no way that he doesn't. Threatening to leave, and then walking out, only to turn back up once his point has been made. Or, even better, when he has need of Lestat, again. (See: Claudia).

Speaking of Claudia, this is a fine example of the things Louis knows, and how best to use them to his advantage. He's far more subtle about it than Lestat, but Louis is guilty of manipulating his lover when it suits him, too. When he needs Lestat's help to save Claudia, he knows just what buttons to push. He knows that Lestat loves him, and will do anything for him. A daughter means that he'll stick around for a family. Coming to him in the first place doubles as a stroke to Lestat's ego, letting the scales of power tip to his favour for a time. Even with that, it still gets Louis what he wants. He wants to save Claudia. He wants to atone for his own sins. He wants to be a good person. And, yes, I do believe that he genuinely wants to fix things with Lestat in the same move. (Four birds, one bite).

That's where the love (and the co-dependency) shows the most. Louis wants to fix it. He cools off, and comes back around, and gives it another try. Ill-advised? Fuck, yes. But... You can convince yourself of a great many things when you're in love. Otherwise, in theory, you'd probably walk away. He knows Lestat. He trusts him, trusts in his love, and in the good of him that certainly does exist. Again, if it was all bad... Well, something attracted him in, in the first place.

Fast-forward to 01x05... Violence is definitely not the answer, but I am not one bit surprised that such is where they have landed. Lestat has lost all of his hold on Louis, in all forms, be it love, attention, or power. And, he lost him to Claudia. His weaknesses have come back to bite him, and he's doing the only thing he seems to know how to do: bite back. Biting back against Claudia, though? Wrong move. Trying to harm Claudia, the only redemption that Louis may feel he has left in the world, his child, is worse than taking on Louis, himself. There is no way Louis lets that slide, even if that means taking on an older, faster, stronger adversary. Even if that adversary is his own lover. To protect his family, yes. But, in some truly fucked up way, I feel like this is the only way Louis is going to bother to protect himself. Where this leaves them, now? It's not pretty, not by any means, but it will be interesting to find out.

That was... a lot. (And, sadly enough, I have so much more that I could add). All together, yes, I feel that there is love between them, but they suck at showing it. Love isn't their problem. They're a personality mis-match, to say the absolute least. Incompatible. These two fail at communication. They really might have benefited from a long, involved, check-your-ego-at-the-door type of a conversation. It didn't have to come to this, but no one was willing to get to the root of it. Ego. Ego, ego, ego. (Mm, I love it). This relationship feels very real, where so many other on-screen portrayals are lacking. Now? Now, the road back to love will be treacherous, if even passable, at all.

After all, Louis may have said told Lestat to let him go, but he never said he didn't love him.

P.S. This is just my opinion, and I may very well be biased. I have been in this type of relationship before. We shouldn't have been together, but we were oddly perfect for one another, and that thought still surprises the shit out of me.

[davekat-sucks]

Between the implied incest between Ult Dirk and Rosebot and Rosebot and Terezi I’d prefer Rosebot <3< for one caveat.

For the decreasing population of Vrisrezi shippers, Terezi going with Rosebot cucks Vriska from her destined Moirail turned Matespirit, Terezi. (I mean moiraileigence is already romance and soulmates but Matespiritship is seen as traditional human romance… and sex between the pair for SMUT)

Of course Rosebot with anyone else but Kanaya cucks Kanaya.

So we have Kanaya and Vriska, two cucked by their girlfriends, so how do you cope with this double cuck? And say, do you remember 2 female trolls from Act 5 Act 1 who had a one sided crush on the other broken by flirtation with a lowblood?

Maybe they give them a second chance.

Well I guess there’s a problem that Vriska is still 16 in Beyond Canon while Kanaya is in her 20s… in sweeps.

But what the hell! It’s lesbianism! And can we forget Meenah and Vriska’s relationship? Let’s be consistent.

Anyways! Vriska <3 Kanaya is better than postcanon Rosemary.

Vriska x Kanaya aka Spidermoth is better than Davekat.

This is also the same Terezi too that actually had SEX with John and is now carrying his dead body in hopes of reviving him. Whether he becomes June or not, even he will have to find out eventually that Terezi had black flirted with Rosebot. Another heartbreak commence. For trolls, it is natural for them to enter in polygamy relationship because of quadrants, but in the case for humans like Rose and John, they had accepted monogamy. One even went through literal marriage before Rosebot left Kanaya. And Kanaya had to learn and accept about monogamy from human culture. If she finds out that Rosebot had flirted with both Dirk and Terezi, then she will call her a hypocrite and question herself on why she had thought monogamy was a good idea if it ends in heartache. I am curious how Vriska would react to all this. She would think she has grown better as a person. Would she think that Terezi is still the same or changed for the worse? Would VRISKA herself start to accept her own presence was the reason Terezi became this way and acknowledges their relationship, friendship or any quadrant kind, is toxic and they shouldn't be together? That would be an interesting character growth for Vriska if she herself sees that being the Scourge Sisters has ended its course. It would be in lovingly full circle for Kanaya to see that Vriska has gotten better as a person and knowing that she can't always idolize the bad girl persona. Kanaya would finally get her wish and dream granted of finally being with Vriska.

[caffeinatedopossum]

Hey, you're of course free to ignore this message, but I think you may find it useful to read up more about practicing ethical non monogamy?

What your girlfriends did was wrong because they lied to you and betrayed their promise to you, but controlling what they do with each other isn't a boundary, but just that, controlling. You can always decide what you want to do in your relationship, and it's completely fair to not want to have sex, have people doing it in your house/near you, even not to want to have it near you, but it's not healthy to tell your partner what they can do with people they date that doesn't involve you.

I don't want you to misunderstand, it's valid to feel hurt, you're not in the wrong to be angry, and what they did to you was shitty because they already agreed to your rules - but they were rules, not boundaries. I think realizing the difference will help you avoid the heartbreak in the future

Respectfully, the people she dates do involve me since I also date them.

Also I don't think me changing my language from "boundaries" to "rules" will change anything really? A boundary is just like a rule that's really important to me- that's all that means. And one of my rules that's important to me is that my relationship (all of it) is non sexual.

Maybe you're under the impression I felt entitled to a non sexual relationship? Like I was demanding it of my girlfriends, or something, and then acting like I was totally justified because "they should respect my boundaries". But no, we actually talked about it a lot and they both agreed to my preferences.

[edelgarfield]

I'm beginning to wonder if there's just a fundamental, irreconcilable difference between the way aromantics (or at least people committed to being single) and non-aros conceive of friendship.

because whenever I try to vent to people about the loneliness of being aromantic, non-aros just consistently don't get it.

partnered people are constantly telling me "my best friend and I will go months without talking, but they're still my best friend!" and I just can't conceive of how that's possible. I understand caring about people that you don't talk to regularly. what I don't understand is claiming to be emotionally intimate with someone you only talk to a few times a year and acting like that's something "normal" and a natural part of life.

like if someone is important to me, and I want to maintain a relationship I make time for them, regardless of everything that's going on in my life, because they're important to me and I love them.

I understand life circumstances changing, and mutually deciding "this is going to affect our relationship, here's how we're going to work it out"

but the thing is nobody does that for their friends. if you get a new job that requires more commitment, or you have to move, you talk to your partner about how that's going to affect your relationship, you come to a compromise or mutually decide to break it off.

but for all your friends, who are also affected by this decision you just do it and expect everything to work out on its own. and for most people, they're willing to put in the work to keep a romantic relationship through the change, but they won't do the same for their close friends.

i don't think people should keep themselves from making the choices that are right for them to maintain a friendship (though I think that should hold true for a romantic relationship, too). but I think a world where it was normal to at least talk about these things with platonic relationships would be a much better place.

like, I think for most people (particularly non-aros) there's this assumption of a mutual lack of commitment to the friendship. you don't invest into the relationship, or plan your life around it because it's assumed that the other person wouldn't either. in fact most people think it's extremely weird to commit to a friendship.

but for aros and other people outside of traditional romantic monogamy we do because to us friendship is that most emotionally intimate bond we can have and we're heavily invested in maintaining it. and we assume that it's the same for others, when in reality there's a fundamental disconnect between what aros and non-aros think of friendship that ultimately leads to a lot of heartbreak for aromantics.