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saintbleeding · 1 year

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Hii~

So i saw this on a tumblr post but is very jonmartin

"Jon and Martin are planning their wedding, they want to have their cat as ring bearer (is this how it's called?) But Martin doesn't know the name of the cat because they always call it different nicknames and jon just doesn't tell him and he don't want to admit that after all that years don't know.

Because jon didn't know either! he thinks that the cat is Martin's and he also is trying to figure out the name."

Martin’s not a cat person.

Honestly, he’s just not really an animal person. Like, in general.

The same isn’t true for Jon, of course. On, like, their second date, Jon—who, up until that point, had been all leather elbow patches on his stupid tweed jackets and “hmm, perhaps” and thoughtful squinting—got approached by a cat in the street, and pretty much melted on the spot.

Martin melted, too, but for slightly different reasons.

So it wasn't really a surprise when Jon moved in and Cat started turning up. Sure, it felt a little bit out of character for Jon not to excitedly announce that, one, he'd gotten a pet cat really recently, and, two, he was bringing it into Martin's place, which is a relatively humble little cottage, but Cat seems to free-roam most of the time, so it's not like she's encroaching on much of the space. And, anyway, it's not like Martin hates cats, so he doesn't mind. He just sort of thought Jon would have said something. But he didn't.

So.

You know.

There's a cat.

She's grown on Martin over time. In fact, it's usually him that wakes up with her purring and headbutting him at fuck-off o'clock in the morning, and Jon's not a heavy sleeper, so if she'd attacked him first, Martin would know.

But she's nice. Lovely little tufts of fur between her toes, and quite a deep meow for such a pretty lady. He'll call her Lady Catherine sometimes, and Jon's got the gall to pretend he doesn't think it's hilarious. Mind you, Jon's terms of endearment for her skew a bit more—pejorative, for lack of a better term? Like, Cat will take the opportunity when Jon is hunched over a stack of student essays at the dining table, and she'll leap onto his shoulders, and do that loaf thing, and Jon always says "unhand me, you infernal creature", or the few times she has bothered Jon in the middle of the night for pre-dawn breakfast service, he's grumbled "vile beast" even as he gets up to feed her.

Martin's tried telling him he shouldn't be encouraging her. But Jon just turns around and says "yes, I know, that's why I chastise her".

Martin stays impressed that someone so smart can be so stupid. Which he means affectionately, obviously. If he didn't, they wouldn't be getting married.

Which is great, by the way. It's great.

Does present some—unique problems, though.

Martin's got absolutely no bloody clue what her actual name is.

Which, you know, it's not like he's filling out adoption papers or anything, but at some point after some late-night banter it became part of the plan that Cat should be the ring-bearer at the wedding.

And he can't not know the name of a member of the party at his own wedding.

So he starts sleuthing.

"Hey," he says one evening, when GBBO is over and they're just sitting there with the telly on mute.

Jon looks up from his thorough inspection of Cat's beans, her paw gently clasped between his thumb and forefinger, and goes "Mm?"

"Been thinking."

Jon lifts one eyebrow. "Mm?"

"We could get her a proper little collar and everything."

Jon blinks a couple of times, then smiles. "Oh, for the wedding, you mean?" Martin nods. "Oh, yes, it could match your tie."

Okay, that's adorable, but also, unfortunately, not the point.

"Ooh, yeah," he says, then: "Oh! And, like, a little engraved name-tag. Really fancy."

Jon's eyes narrow almost imperceptibly.

"Yes," he says, tone completely unreadable. "Silver or gold, do you think?"

Martin's suddenly wondering if it's a trap.

"Dunno," he says, turning his eyes back to the brightly-coloured advert on the screen. "What's her vibe, you think?"

In the corner of his eye he sees Jon's jaw working silently as he searches for something to say.

"I think your input should be taken into consideration," he says, lifting his chin as Cat stands, stretches, and headbutts him. "Since... you know."

Martin considers whether or not Jon's messing with him, because frankly, he very much does not know.

"Mmm. Well! Uh- I- I like gold. Would match our bands."

"True enough," Jon says. Cat leaps onto the back of the sofa, and they're both silent till she curls up there and falls back asleep.

Jon doesn't seem very eager to say anything else.

Bugger.

"So..." Martin says, lifting his glasses to rub his eyes. "Um... what's the spelling, again?"

Jon's blurry form sits up straighter, and when Martin puts his glasses back on he sees his mouth open in shock.

"Might I ask why you're asking me?" Jon says, which doesn't make any sense.

"W- um. Y- you know, you're the English teacher."

Jon inclines his head to the side, frowning. "Hmm," he goes. "W- I- I- yes, I—mm." He lowers himself back against the sofa again. "The usual way."

Martin sighs.

"Right," he says. "Okay."

The silence gets a bit fraught, then. When Martin stands up to take their mugs to the kitchen, he might be a tiny bit huffy. It's possible.

Jon follows him, and he stays huffy, because it's easier to keep up than neutrality when he's trying to hide that he's a bit annoyed and a bit embarrassed.

"Everything alright?" Jon says, leaning casually against the fridge as Martin puts way too much effort into scrubbing both mugs clean.

"Mm."

Several seconds pass.

"Could I say something?" Jon asks, a bit hesitantly.

If Martin had to guess, he'd put money on "you're a negligent idiot for not paying enough attention to know my cat's name and I hate you".

"Yeah."

Jon exhales audibly behind him, as though amused.

"With all due respect and affection, darling—" He pauses till Martin is finished aggressively rinsing the mugs. Martin still doesn't turn to face him, though, because he's a tiny bit scared of where this is going, honestly. "If you've forgotten how to spell your own cat's name, that's not, strictly speaking, my fault, is it?"

Martin turns around.

Several things occur to him at once.

First, Cat's a dirty freeloader who owes Martin like fourteen months of rent.

Second, it might, legitimately, have been a coincidence that she and Jon moved in around the same time.

Third, he can't remember a time he's heard Jon use any method of address on her except for creature, or beast, or the ones Martin uses himself.

Which means, fourth, Jon doesn't know her bloody name either.

Because she's not his cat.

Well.

"Okay," Martin says. "Let's assume I have forgotten. Couldn't you just—help me out—and spell it?"

"Martin," Jon says disparagingly with a frown.

"Jon," Martin says, trying really hard not to smirk.

Jon does that thing where his mouth starts in a flat line, but as his irritation grows, his nose scrunches up, and the line of his mouth slowly rises up his face until he exclaims inarticulately and throws his hands in the air in defeat.

"Fine!" he says. "Fine, okay, alright, fine. I—I don't—I don't know. I don't know! I meant to ask, but I felt negligent not having known when I moved in, and then, after a month or seven I couldn't very well come out and ask, could I? And then—good heavens, it's been more than a year, there was no subtle way to recover!"

Martin's not laughing at him.

But he is laughing.

Breathlessly, uncontrollably, doubling over—to the point where Jon actually crosses the few steps separating them in the tiny kitchen to place a hand on his shoulder, gently guiding him upright with a concerned look on his face.

"Sorry," Martin manages eventually, wiping tears from his eyes. "Christ, sorry, I'm just—"

He takes a deep, measured breath.

"I've got to tell you something," he says sheepishly. Jon puts his hands on Martin's shoulders and looks into his face with the earnest sobriety that, even now, gives Martin butterflies.

"Anything," he says, still frowning intensely.

Martin averts his eyes. "She's not my cat either."

When Jon stops laughing, he spends the rest of the evening lecturing Cat in his Not Mad Just Disappointed voice ("identity fraud is an extremely serious matter, young lady, and you are terribly lucky you have such sweet little eyes, or I might be compelled to take legal action against you, please let go of my nose").

Oh, but they do end up getting her an engraved gold name-tag for the ceremony.

It says 'Lady Catherine (Beast)'.

#YEAH ILL MAINTAG THIS IG #the magnus archives #tma #tma fic #jmart #jonmartin #my #saint writes #asks #little-lamb-lyosha #bestie u were so correct for this. thank u. <3 #(this is set in some kind of au. idk the specifics. u figure it out.)

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bullet-prooflove · 1 month

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4500 Follower Celebration Bingo - Three Minutes: Sean Archer x Reader

Tagging: @soultrysworld @mysticcandymiracle @kmc1989 @emilyjr @toasted-stiletto

Welcome to Nightvale - You and Sean bond over a book.

The First Time (NSFW) - Sean and you sleep together for the first time.

The Only One (NSFW) - You're the only woman Sean has been with sober.

Dirty Weekend - You and Sean spent the entire weekend in bed together.

Familes - Sean meets your family for the first time.

Emergency Contact - You realise you don't have anyone to put down as an emergency contact.

Dirty (NSFW) - Sean comes home after a day in the community garden and things get a little heated.

Make A Wish - Sean is triggered on his birthday when he sees a familiar face in the paper.

Sunday Morning (NSFW) - You give Sean a very memorable Sunday morning.

It’s Sean that ends up buying the pregnancy test from the bodega down the street. Sean that ends up searching on his phone which ones are the most reliable because there’s seven different types and he has no clue where to start. Sean that opens the box and reads the instructions because you’re too occupied with throwing up, to navigate the complexities of the leaflet.

“You’ve been sick for more than a week.” He tells you as he pushes the test across the kitchen table towards you. “I think it’s time to find out for sure.”

He waits on the opposite side of the bathroom door while you take care of business. Part of him is nervous, the other excited, the two of you haven’t talked about having kids. The truth is it’s never come up because the both of you tend to live in the moment, you fighting fires, him with his sobriety. You’ve never talked about what the future looks like beyond a marriage.

When you step out the bathroom he looks at you expectantly before you set the test down on the counter.

“Three minutes.” You say.

It’s the longest three minutes of his life.

His heart sinks when you pick up the test and read it out loud, he can tell your disappointed too from the way your body seems to sag with the news.

“I guess it is just stomach flu.” You say sadly before tossing the test in the trash and tucking yourself against him on the couch for the rest of the night.

“We should discuss it properly when you’re feeling better.” He says, his lips brushing over your temple but you’re already fast asleep, your head resting gently on his shoulder.

It’s a week later that he’s summoned to the hospital by his father. You’ve passed out during a training exercise on the rig, toppled off the damn thing and hit your head.

“She’s alright.” Dean reassures him when he meets his son in the E.D. “She has a mild concussion so you’ll have to keep an eye on her and the baby for the next few days.”

“The baby?” Sean repeats, unsure he’s heard correctly.

“He’s doing fine.” Dean assures him, his hand coming to rest on Sean’s shoulder and squeezing lightly. “They both are.”

“He?” Sean says, his eyes stinging.

It’s then that it dawns on Dean that his son had no idea you were carrying his child.

“We took a pregnancy test last week.” Sean tells him, using the back of his hand to wipe at his eyes. “It was negative…”

“Well they can give false negatives for a number of reasons.” Dean says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Faulty test, antihistamines, urine’s too diluted…”

“Water,” Sean realises as he goes over that time period in his head. “It was the only thing she could keep down when she was sick.”

“That’ll do it.” Dean tells him before he steers his son towards the bay you’re residing in. “Can you at least pretend to be surprised when she tells you? I can’t believe I messed up like that.”

Sean doesn’t get a chance to answer because his dad is already drawing back the curtain and there you are sitting in a hospital bed, clutching a sonogram of his son between your hands.

“Sean.” You say as you hold it up. “We’re having a baby.”

Love Sean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#sean archer #sean archer x reader #chicago med

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nocturnesmoon · 4 months

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Chapter 3: Ghosts Of The Past

(Series Masterlist: Divine Violence) (Read on Ao3) (Inspired Playlist)

Series:The Divine Violence - Chapter 3: Ghosts Of The Past

Wordcount: 5.5K

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x John "Soap" MacTavish x Gn!Reader

TW: (View masterlist for series tw and tags) - DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, Religious Trauma, PTSD, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Anxiety, Paranoia, Disturbing themes, Implied eating disorders, Jealousy, Past abuse, Underage drinking, vomiting

Description: Soap approaches you to eat lunch with him, you begrudgingly accept.

A/N: Wooo another chapter done! Finally getting into some of the angsty bits that's gonna be a gateway to things we're going to expand upon later in the story. Everybody stay hydrated and I hope you enjoy it!

[Prev chapter / Next Chapter]

The night is young and beautiful. Stars would cover the sky above you if it wasn't from the pollution of the city lights. You can still count a few, one, two, three, even four. They're bright here, one even seems to be blinking at you before you realize it's a plane.

It feels almost too ceremonial with the full moon in the sky, and Simon standing by the little makeshift fire in the pile of trash. It reminds you a little of your confirmation, years past by now. Though the church was a lot cleaner, the people like minded. Clothing of white making you shine in the sun, your proud mother with her uptight smile, and your father who had never before seemed proud of anything you did, now smiled warm toned at you.

You can still remember each word the priest spoke to you. Etched so deep in your brain it might as well have been carved into the back of your palm.

Thinking back to it, you realize it's different to this, so much different. The grittiness has a charm to it, but the real reason your nerves have skyrocketed is because of him. You take a step closer to the fire, watch him pop open the bottle of vodka. The one he had stolen from his father’s cabinet. Easier now that he wasn't home as much.

"Nervous?"

He grins at you, grabbing your fidgeting hand in his own. "We can still leave it be?" he offers kindly, but you quickly shake your head no. You had asked for this, you wanted to try it, because you knew the closest way you'd ever come to alcohol otherwise was the wine (Which wasn't even wine, it was grape juice) at the communion in church.

Simon had so graciously offered when you mentioned your want in passing. The curious nature in your soul wanting to try it at least once, even if you turned out to dislike it. You squeeze his hand, as if to jitter out your nerves. Being this far from home never felt good to you, a festering anxiety in your mind that your parents would find out and punish you.

There was a lot of things Simon could help you with, even take the fall for you should the situation call for it, but not this. No, this would be on you, and it would not feel good.

The fire crackles in front of you, something sharp snaps and brings your focus away from the bottle. You had no clue what was burning in there, but it provided a warm place for you to be so you didn't have much to complain about.

"Whenever you're ready Little Spider," he teases and brings the bottle to your hand.

You scoff and roll your eyes. "Does it really burn that bad?" you take the bottle with a small grimace. Your eyes nervously flicking from the liquid to him and back again.

"You seem very determined that this is what you want to do, so why don't you take a sip and find out?"

Another moments hesitance, and you bring the bottle to your lips. In the first second it doesn't burn, just so that the little thought of relief can enter your brain, before being squashed by the lit fire in your throat.

He quickly grabs the bottle away from you, when you start coughing and spurting. The sounds of your distress drowned out by his roaring laughter. His hand comes to pat you on the back, his eyes almost filled with tears from his laughter.

"Oh my oh my oh my, why why why did I do this."

"Oh c'mon, it wasn't that bad, was it?" he looks down at the bottle experimentally. Acting as if he hadn't tasted it countless times before. He brings it to his lips when your outburst calms down, taking a sip seamlessly, taking the burn proud and easy.

"How in the world," you sound astonished by his display. He tries to keep a straight face, but fails very quickly when he sees how you look at him like he's crazy. "Hey don't laugh!" you swat his arm, but soon fall into the laughter along with him.

The fire illuminates his face, casting shadows of you both behind on the wall. The soft orange glow makes some of his features stand out more than normal. His little scars close to his mouth that's normally almost invisible, now almost makes him look scary if it wasn't for how his face was lit up with joy.

"Oh wow," you grab the bottle back to read the inscription as if that would give you more clarity. "I don't understand how people drink stuff like this daily...I mean it's not that good."

His smile falls a little, his breathing catching up from the fit of laughter. "Well, drink enough of it and you'll start to feel funny," he explains simply instead of doing in-depth.

"Huh..." you look at the little alcohol percentage on the bottle, "have you been drunk before?"

He doesn't respond immediately, almost as if he seems ashamed of it. "A few times," he admits and trails closer to the wall, "with a few other guys from school." He leans on it, crossing his arms over his chest. It makes him look edgy, his dark attire and the illumination of a dumpster fire. He looks older than he is like that.

You come closer, tilting your head to the side slightly. He looks at you tentatively, taking in all that is you, the way you look, the way you move, the way you position yourself in front of him, so very close.

"What else have you done?" you ask in a knowing tone that didn't know much at all, "that you haven't had the heart to tell me about yet?" His eyes widen slightly panicked for a moment. You already know how he's compiling an excuse in his brain, or some way to explain himself away from anger, but you aren't angry.

"I just didn't think it was your thing...didn't want to bother you with it...make you feel like you had to," he explains quickly. You shake your head, making sure to give him a small smile as reassurance. His shoulders sag more.

"It wasn't..." you tell him, “But now I’m curious."

"Are you now?" his voice turns back to teasing. How you'd love to smear that smug smile off him, one way or another.

You bring the bottle to your lips, drinking way more than you probably should.

"Yeah, so let's find out."

Your throat burns whenever you throw up. It's become a much more frequent occurrence. The stress of your problems taking wear on your mind. You're no more surprised to find a singular grey hair protrude from your scalp, than you are from the blood mixed with bile in the sink.

That had been your breakfast most likely. The only meal you had found yourself able to sneak away to eat in peace of your assigned room. It left your stomach empty again, the pained hollow feeling you despised despite how much of your life was spent in it.

You'd take anything over this. Oh, how you wished you could be like anyone else, the majority of the reasons to throw up being a hangover, or being sick. Though alcohol hasn't touched your lips in years.

The fluorescent lights blink above you, the little buzzing drowned out by your heavy breathing. The space is better than what you've had the past while, but you did miss the privacy of the motel. People had a tendency to stare here.

You turn on the water, guiding it along with your hands to wash away the bile. Blood trickles down from your knuckles, the split ends of flesh flaking off the bone. You can see the white underneath. The sound of the door opening brings your attention away from it. You avoid the mirror despite its desperate pleas.

No what you can't just leave me here! Please you can't be serious! You're just going to let him keep me in here?! Please just look at me, don't go.

You look towards the mohawk showing itself first.

When you first met Soap, you had been taken aback. He had a very intense personality, a fire within that outshined in his actions. You have yet to determine your own disposition on him. He's friendly enough towards you, all things considered.

"Ah there ye are." He's been standing outside that door for who knows how long. He likely heard the wretched sound as your stomach gave in on itself. Why he chose now to step in, eludes you.

You clear your throat, the hunch in your back stretching out after you turn off the running water. Your fingers run over your knuckles; the wounds gone. "Do you need something?" keeping your voice steady and polite proves a more difficult task than you'd like it to.

"Have ye had lunch yet...?" he's being careful with you. It's a revelation you didn't expect to have for him, did he figure something out he shouldn't have? Does he know?

"Ah was gonna invite ye to join us this mornin' for breakfast, but ah couldn't find ye." Good that had been the intention. A part of you did recognize you couldn't hole yourself away forever though. You were already the odd one out in the group of four.

"Oh.."

Your voice is too weak

The mirror echoes.

"Right...I..."

You clear your throat again, it feels too constricted, the air in here is not enough for you.

You catch yourself in his vibrant blue eyes. You could see an ocean in them, the beautiful waves at sea, the smell of salt in the air. You can feel the surgent winds ghosting over your skin, the sting and burn as water enters your lungs, a warm hand on the back of your neck holding you down. A faraway chanting of prayer echoes muffled in your ears.

"No...I haven't" you try to muster a smile.

"Good," he says pleased "ye're with me then."

The sea is faraway.

The mess hall is the exact kind of hell you expected it to be. Loud, obnoxious, filled with potential social threats and unnecessary questions on the verge from the man sitting in front of you. The only bit of luck you seem to have kept, shows itself in the lack of soldiers here at all. Most of them had likely already eaten.

The meal Infront of you looked anything but appetizing. Yet Soap seemed all the more happy to devour it with no complaints. He's been talking your head off ever since you sat down, clueing you in on things at base. Most of it is useful information you manage to retain, but after awhile your ears goes deaf despite how much you want to listen.

Though you have to admit that it sounds like they're a tight knit group. The 141 formed quite awhile ago, managing to take out several high-level threats. It made sense to put them up against the divine principle, but you couldn't help the doubt in your mind that anything would come of it. Even if you managed to take the group down once more, they would just resurface years later until you took out the root of the problem.

You had failed to do it once.

"...are ye listening?"

Your eyes flicker up from your murky food, locking eyes with Soap. What the hell kind of name was that anyway. Was he good at cleaning dishes? A lot of code names tend to be teasing or insults, so maybe he got teased for it?

"Yeah," you reassure him by briefly giving him your undivided attention. You'd quickly trail out again.

"Ye can tell me to shut up, ah know ah talk a lot" he doesn't sound ashamed of it, but you can hear the hint of self deprecation. Someone's definitely shamed him in the past. You had no intention to do so, you quite preferred people who talk a lot. They talk fast, easy, and typically give way more information than they should which paints you a better picture. A bonus point that it fills out the silence you bring.

"No... it’s nice," you mutter and pick up your fork. You might as well try to fight some of it down, you hadn't even touched any of it yet, and Soap was practically done even with his rambling.

You didn't know whether the lack of people in a typically populated space made you more or less anxious.

"So, ye used to hunt these people a few years ago?"

You meet his eyes for the first time in what feels like forever. You're not sure what you were supposed to find in them, but definitely not the curiosity that shines. This entire taskforce is playing with a hellfire they do not understand. It's practically impossible to take it down, even from within, lord knows you've tried.

"Yeah."

You could bite your lip bloody trying to think of ways to continue the conversation from here. He goes wildly quiet for you. Is he expecting for you to elaborate? What does he even want you to say? What were you allowed to say? What did they know? How much information is appropriate over a lunch in a very public area?

You were starting to regret your decision of agreeing to all of this. You hadn't even started and the stress was pulling you down under.

"They're hard to find, even with a full team" he shakes his head amused, "ah can't even imagine what it must've been like hunting them practically all alone."

"I wasn't alone."

He seems surprised. Good.

Kate hadn't told them every detail.

"They were tenacious then; I don't doubt the group wont behave much different this time around. They always end up with the same values, the same goal." You ramble on, catching yourself by biting your tongue.

"What's the goal?" he asks.

"Doomsday preppers in a nutshell, just add a slimy layer of misguided religion on top of it." You finally take a big bite of your food. It slides down your throat slowly, the dryness, or size catching you off-guard.

Soap slides your glass closer to you. "Not new, but also not every day ye see it to this large of an extent."

"It's been organized for years now, they're not likely to stop from a threat from the authorities. Only way is to take out the roots." You mumble on after getting your throat cleared. There were quite a few ways to go about doing that, all of them left an acidic taste in your mouth.

You could see the way he wanted to ask more. He should refrain, wait for it all to be revealed in proper time instead of probing you for information in an informal interrogation. A quite nice one at that.

You had yet to decide on how close you wanted to get to him.

John MacTavish, Soap.

He was a sergeant, chatty nature, one for jokes, witty, smart. A person worthy to note, despite rebellious appearances.

The captain had yet to earn your respect, and likewise yours his. He was impressive on all accounts. He would also be the first person to throw you off this mission at a sign of weakness. Valuable in its own right.

Kyle was indifferent towards you, a bit cold perhaps, though he seemed a gentleman when it came down to it.

Ghost was......Simon.

You didn't know what you expected when you met Simon again. He's a lot more different than you thought he would be. Taking on the persona of Ghost, you suppose you can't blame him for needing an escape, but the motif still stirs something awful in your chest. Neither of you really got over it.

Maybe you'd have preferred it if he wasn't so aloof with you, a bit more direct in your long-awaited reunion. Perhaps it would have been better if it had mimicked TV, the rain and yelling and screaming in a scenic location to make it more meaningful to you. Unfortunately, reality tends to be far more boring.

"So did he always wear that mask?"

"Ghost? Aye, as long as I've known the bastard," he chuckles "can ask Price about before that, he's known 'im the longest."

There's a pang in your heart, something that feels an awful lot like a drop jealousy, but you can't allow that. It wouldn't be one bit fair. If you were the one to walk away from him then, were you really allowed to feel anything at all for him? Certainly not jealousy over the new relationships he'd build. You should be happy, you really should.

But how dare he abandon you so fast.

You shake your head free of the feeling. Wrongful, wishful, thinking wouldn't change the truth nor the fact he was supposedly better off here.

"Known him long?"

"Ever since we got assigned on this taskforce, give or take a few years now. And Ye?"

"Old acquaintances."

There's another sting in your heart that burns something fierce. All the nights you had spent wishing you were still in contact with him coming back to you. Times when it felt like a single word from him would make life worth living again. A single glance from him could make it worth anything.

You tried to ignore that bit.

But the mask had a symbolism you didn't like any better. You'd only be arrogant to think or claim that you still knew him and his thoughts, but it was still distasteful. Had he forgotten? You had both ran from it, difference was he now wore it on his face and you watched it creep in the shadows.

You had always hated the cold streaks in first signs of winter. When the temperature went freezing, the trees losing their colour, the sun hiding more often now behind threatening clouds. However still no snow. All the unfortunate parts with none of the benefits.

And standing on Simon's freezing front porch didn't help. He was taking too long. It had been half a minute since you rung the doorbell. Where the hell was he? His parents were supposed to be out, and despite his little brother still being home, the two of you would take any opportunity you could take.

You wrap your jacket closer around you. The biting frost nipping at your cheeks and nose. For a moment you debate whether you should ring the bell again, but you remember his words clear, he had told you to just go in, even if it felt wrong to do that without a formal invitation straight from the door.

You hadn't been here too many times. Some part of yourself too scared that the smell of smoke would sting your clothes, and that your parents would know exactly where you had been. You needed to be careful, one wrong decision and they'd forbid you from seeing him again.

You aren't sure if you could handle that.

The door creeks when you open it, too loud for your taste. It makes you grimace. You try calling out for him, to no response. There's a smell of freshly baked bread, likely at the hands of his mum.

A smile tugs on your lips, your stomach twisting hungrily in your body. Hurriedly you kick off your shoes, and hang up your jacket, emerging in the home's living room. For a moment you wonder if anyone is even home, it feels cold from the lack of interaction.

"Simon?" it's not like him to leave you alone like that. Was he even home?

You tiptoe towards the hallway peeking down the dark way. When you stare too long, the shadows move occasionally, takes shape like moving smoke. Another time you softly call his name, slowly coming up to Simon's and his brother’s bedroom.

It's cracked open very slightly, the shine of light coming from the slit. It illuminates the dying flowers placed neatly on a bookshelf. You move to open the door, but before you can get there, you feel a tap on your shoulder.

The hairs on the back of your neck rise, the subtle warm breath from someone else hitting your skin. It felt wrong, and in the back of your mind you knew who it was, what he was doing. You whipped around, the fear having already seeped into your eyes. You were ready to shield yourself, stare into the tall figure that looked like the personification of death.

The scream that erupted from your lungs, weren't only of fear but also from genuine shock. The figure wasn't tall like you had expected, instead you had to glance downwards to meet the eyes behind a white skull mask. You stumble backwards, crashing your body against the door and falling all the way down to the floor.

The boy stands above you, a fit of psychotic little giggles come from him which make your stomach churn with disgust. He holds a butterknife in his hand. It's the only reason you haven't gotten up yet as you stare at his display, trying to mimic his father.

"Tommy what are you doing!" you shout out offended. You hope it covers the tinge of fear you carry. In no universe should Simon's little brother look like this, in no world should he be able to scare you this badly.

The antsy sensation isn't just from the initial surprise, it swirls in your blood at the sight of a raised knife. It doesn't matter that it isn't sharp, it doesn't even matter that it's not directly pointed at you.

It makes you remember. The late nights, the early mornings, the fights that took place within your own home. The list of threats you'd heard, you could recite them as clear as your favourite quote from your favourite book.

"Tommy...put down the knife." You don't hear the tremble in your voice but he does. He tilts his head; a line of light falls over the skull mask. His eyes are illuminated beneath it, they carry nothing but distaste for you.

He's never liked you. You were fine with that, but this is just too far. Where was Simon anyway!? If Tommy was home then he should be as well, maybe even his mother if anything at all.

Like a saving grace, an angel sent from the heavens, you hear his uncertain voice call out shakily.

"Tommy what are you doing, give that to me."

Simon pulls you even closer to his form, your legs shift from how you're sitting halfway into his lap. He had practically forced you this close when you started to complain about the cold. Not that you minded the proximity itself.

"Are you sure we can't just lock a room, so he won't disturb us?" You nuzzle closer into his side. A big breath exits your lungs, it rises upwards like a little cloud. His arm pulls your jacket closer around, his hand settling on your waist to give you a little squeeze.

"We're fine here," he mumbles into your hair "got you all to myself."

"I know," you say exasperated "it's just why would he do that...it's not...its..."

You don't know how to formulate your words right. It's hard to explain exactly what you saw from your perspective on the floor. A terrifying display you never want to see on Tommy's innocent face again. That look was reserved for his father, not that you were any happier seeing it on him either.

"He's been acting up...mood swings and all that" Simon sighs and shakes his head. "He's done it to me too a few times when mom and dad are fighting...I... don’t understand it. Even when dad brought that snake in, he was all giddy...I don't think he really understands," Simon confesses.

"Wait, what snake?!" you manage to pull yourself away from his arms. You stay close in his hold to keep sharing body heat, but you raise yourself on your knees so you're looking down at his face. "Your dad brought a snake into your home, to you, and he just laughed?" you sounded pissed off, and rightfully so you were. He'd never told you this before now.

"Yeah, were years ago now but..." he raises a hand, his thumb brushing over to dull marks above his lips "it bit me."

Your eyebrows furrow and you have to hold yourself back from not yelling out in frustration. You bite down on your own lip hard, and reach a hand up to gently run your fingers over the two scars in the form of dots. He closes his eyes as he feels your skin on his, let's out a shuddering breath. He always gets like this now at your touch, he always seems so affected, always positively.

In the beginning you thought it was just hormones, puberty for him now that you're both well into your teenage years. A round of "Boys will be boys," as your mother would keep saying whenever you told her how you saw the boys at school pick on the girls in the most horrendous ways.

Simon's a boy but you've never seen him be that cruel. And then you started to think it might just be you he's like this with, that to anyone else, any other girl or boy that gets close never gets to see him have this kind of reaction.

He opens his eyes and your breath catches in your throat with an ugly little sound. It makes you snort, giggling into your hand as you listen to his rumble of a chuckle. His arms snake around your waist, bring you in closer, pressing your bodies up against each other as much as can be.

He looks up at you like you're the only person in the world.

Like you're everything to him, as if you were to go his world would collapse around him. And you know it's true because you feel the same way. If he were to ever leave, you wouldn't know how to function, you wouldn't have an escape from the abuse, a person to keep you afloat when you're drowning.

You lean down a little to place a soft peck just above his lips, on the dotted scars.

You're not sure what true love is, but if you'll ever have a chance at it, it has to be this. There can be no other explanation for that glint in his eye reserved only for you.

He looks at you with pure love.

Soap looks at you expectantly. The dull sounds of the mess hall fill your ears again, you didn't even realize you zoned out. You only pray it wasn't for an unusually long time.

"We knew each other way back, before he joined the military I think." You try your best to play it off as not a big deal. As if you hadn't been in deep with him once upon an easier time. You doubted Simon would want to bring more attention to it than necessary when it came to his teammates.

"Before? Woah, can finally say ah know someone who knew the legendary ghost before he became ghost." He sounds pleased with himself. You don't understand the difference.

Like speaking of the devil himself, the tall dark figure with a mask you wanted to rip off him, emerged into the hall. It didn't turn many heads, but the way you whipped your head dramatically brought Soap's attention to him as well.

"Well...speak of the devil..." he mumbled. You could hear the smile on his lips without looking.

It's a bit late to come in for lunch, but when you think about it you didn't see him go eat with the others, while you were actively avoiding them. He would always retreat into his own room or office, like you would do.

Both you and Soap watches as he goes up to select what his lunch will be. Occasionally you glance towards Soap, observing his interest in Simon, you try to gouge at their relationship. They'd likely be good friends, having a soldier camaraderie for years now. It made you wonder if Soap would now qualify as one to know more about the boy you used to be so close with, than you do yourself.

You look back to Simon, trying to get a proper glimpse of his mask again. You have to bite back an annoyed groan when they flood your vision again.

The shadows encompass his mask all around. They block out the once dirty white with a coal black. It moves around like a mass, obscuring his face, his head taking on spiky ends, then blocky, then smooth. It makes him look like the creatures in the mirrors, the only thing left being the uncanny clear view of his eyes.

They're so visible to you that they freak you out more than the moving shadows, looking straight out of an uncomfortable picture you'd find on the internet. When he finally picks up his food and turns to your direction, your breath catches in your throat with an ugly little sound.

Soap looks at you concerned, but you wave him off quickly taking a big gulp of your water.

You look back to see exactly what you thought it was. You'd recognize that look on him anywhere from just his eyes. People say eyes are the windows to someone's soul, you don't know if you believe it for everyone else or even yourself, your eyes look so dull in the mirror, but for Simon it's the truest statement you've heard.

Despite the time apart, that look is burned into your retinas. It's been an image you clung to over the years, you last remnant of him, something to remind you of what you once had.

And he's looking towards you, like he used to do.

He's looking towards you with an expression you haven't seen in person in years.

He's looking towards you with a look of love you'd never think you'd see on his face again.

He's looking towards you with such devotion that someone like you doesn't deserve from someone like him.

You realize it too late. You glance away from Simon and look to the man sitting in front of you

He looks at you with pure love.

He's not looking at you.

Are you seriously jealous over a man you haven't seen in years?

You know it's pathetic. You know it's nonsensical. You know you shouldn't.

Yet you pace back and forth in your room, the shadows louder than they've ever been in months. They corner you in on every side, lunge out at you when you get too close to the walls. Their thousand little voices overlap in a chorus of insults.

Vile, pathetic, weak, useless, killer.

Your hands raise up to cover your ears but it does nothing to dampen the intensity. Your clothes feel too tight on your body, the air too humid, a certain place in the room burning hot with agony and shame. The little space under your bed. The bag with the letters that once brought you comfort.

They burn hot even from a distance. A rush of hot and cold going through your bloodstream. Ice beneath your skin one moment and boiling blood the next.

Did he ever even look at you like that? Wasn't it different back then? He had the dumb puppy love for you none of that was real.

"Shut up," your voices breaks in your throat and comes out a meek whisper.

Just take a look at those pathetic letters.

"No..."

Each one of them so much later than the next. Spaced out perfectly to leave you in the dark, first a week then two then a month then two months then...

"Shut it!" you shout out with the animalistic ferocity you've been taught. The shadows retract slightly, giving you more room to breathe. Normally you try to ignore the voices that go through your head, you've found answering them only encourage their absurd bait. They could taunt you all they wanted. Voices instilled by vile men in your life, repeated over and over and over and over and over.

Until they manifested themselves within your skull and refused to leave.

In a way you know the things you are seeing aren't real, but it feels so solid. All of it just your fragmented mind trying to make sense of what you were forced to see. None of it could be real.

Sometimes you think that you could actually reach out and touch them, but anytime you've tried they just retract further away from you. You've always hated how it swims in your vision, distracts you from what's actually important.

You look towards the bed, under it, the bag, the letters that almost flood out of it from where you've thrown it. They call to you, scream at you so silently. Your legs are sluggish like walking through water as they carry you there. Your fingers touching what feels like knives as you pull out the nearest letter.

The little piece of paper he left on your bed before he left for the military.

To my love, my dear little spider

You read quietly, the whisper barely even audible on your lips.

I'm sorry that I have to go. Don't fall apart without me, okay?

See you soon, your Simon

Likes, Reblogs and comments are always appreciated, love ya! <3

Taglist: @chickennn-soupp @unlikelyaperson @ghostlythots @lilynotdilly @islnd-vybz @spicyspicyliving @kaoyamamegami

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twstwinnie · 2 years

Text

♚ With You ~ Lilia Vanrouge

summary: in a relationship with Lilia! usual three categories: pining, confession, and dating! while this should be a given, I’ll say it explicitly here: the reader is an adult in this given Lilia’s age <3 whether they’re a third year like Leona, or the prefect, is up to you as the reader!

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, gn! reader

a/n: OK SO. this was a request from the comments (I do read those!) also, i was inspired to write for Lilia because I have a friend who really loves him, and i too love the bat boy! so, consider this a sort of love letter to Lilia as a character! For requests, Sebek is likely next, though feel free to lmk what y’all wanna see in asks/comments! enjoy!! special thanks to my beloved Lilia lovers for giving me inspo xx — winnie ♥︎

♚ starry - eyed !

» Unlike many other students at NRC, Lilia is one of few who’s fully aware of how he feels about you. He’s been alive long enough to recognize the signs— a quickened heartbeat, his eyes lingering on you for a few moments too long, even the way he seeks out your company in his free time.

» While, yes, he’s aware of his feelings, he’s stopped dead in his tracks by fear. It’s such a silly thing to him, really, but he can’t help it. He finds himself afraid that his lifespan might scare you off. Sure, he’s probably not got very long left, but in comparison to your human lifespan— it’s still quite a bit longer. Would you be alright with that? Or would his practical immortality be a dealbreaker?

» He knows that you accept him despite your difference in species, but would that translate if he was romantically interested? He hasn’t a clue, and so he’s bitten his tongue about how he truly feels— hiding behind a mask of teasing and jokes for the time being.

» Yes, teasing. No amount of reservations towards confessing could ever stop Lilia from teasing you. If anything, it only causes his teasing to increase, eventually evolving into something a bit more flirtatious.

» When you’re engrossed in any type of study at the library, he’ll appear in front of you, floating upside down with a wide grin on his face. When you jump back, startled, he merely laughs and comments on how cute you look when you’re focused.

» Sometimes, when you’re walking to class or back to your dorm, he’ll jump out and hug you from behind, near-tackling you to the ground. And though you’re always startled, you always know it’s Lilia hugging you. You’ll just let out a laugh, turn around, and hug him right back. The first time it happened, Lilia couldn’t help his shocked expression, easily melting into your warmth. Now, it’s exactly what he wants and expects when he does this. After all, hearing your laughter and gentle tone as you return his hug is always worth it to him.

» Despite all of this, though, he can’t find it in him to confess— convinced that you two are better off as friends. Who knows what the future holds? Human lives are already so delicate— would it truly be worth it for what’ll feel like a flash of happiness?

» This point comes up when he’s playing online games with Idia. Honestly, he doesn’t quite expect the conversation to take such a turn, but it does.

» “Red, you’ve been a lot less active lately. Kind of an L… but I guess it’s to be expected since you’ve got that partner of yours. Meh. At least you seem happier,” Idia comments. Lilia audibly hums, hands pausing on his keyboard.

» “Ah, you’re mistaken, Shroud. They aren’t my partner— just a friend! Much like you!” Lilia chimes. Idia lets out a quiet, disgruntled sound on the other end.

» “Uh, yeah, pass. We aren’t friends like that. I’m not blind, Lilia. Everyone sees how you look at them. If you were like that with me I’d be weirded out… but uh, why haven’t you told them anyway?” Idia idly questions, and Lilia sighs.

» “Well, us fae have prolonged lifespans. I can imagine that’d be a dealbreaker for most. I’m fine just being their cutest friend!” Lilia hums, but he can practically hear Idia’s eyes roll from the other end.

» “That’s a load of BS. Look, I’m not good at IRL romance, but from what I’ve seen in games, love interests get totally peeved when you try deciding things for them! The, uh… fae-immortality thing. Have you ever even talked to them about it?”

» That made Lilia pause. Well, he supposed he hadn’t really mentioned it to you… but he’d always assumed based on what he’d heard from so many others that you’d believe the same. Before he could respond, Idia continued.

» “And like, OP immortality stuff aside, that last line is a total lie. Are you really fine being stuck all friend-zoned? Can you handle someone else sweeping them away from you? And in the future, what if you aren’t even close? I doubt losing the route is better than, I dunno, trying?” Idia mumbles. Lilia takes a moment to process before letting out a bright laugh.

» “You should speak your mind like this more, Idia,” Lilia mentions.

» “In person? Uh, yeah, no way.”

» The conversation sticks with him, though. Idia is right. Lilia can never possibly know how you feel unless he confesses to you. Even if the future may be uncertain, the thought of losing you— of no longer having you by his side— wasn’t worth it. If confessing meant he’d have a chance to stay with you for the rest of your life, then he’d risk it.

» He’d never met anyone as kind, caring, and understanding as you. Not only did you listen to his many stories from his lifespan, you never doubted any of it for a second. You always give his cooking a try even though you know it’ll be less than edible, but you never judge him. You give him pointers, help him in the kitchen, and dutifully support him in his improvement. Sometimes, you’ll cook for him when he’s a bit too tired to give it another shot.

» You happily joke with him, tease him, compliment him, and spend time with him without a care for what his status used to be. When people warn you of “Diasomnia’s Powerful Vice Housewarden,” you look the other way. You don’t see his titles, his power— you just see him. You adore him not because he could crush you in an instant, but because you’ve become friends with the playful fae that he is.

» In his entire life, he’s met very few people as kind as you. However, you’ve been the one of the only ones to see and embrace all sides of him. Whether he’s fighting for his loved ones, or on stage with the rest of the Light Music club— you accept him.

» In the past, he’s made the mistake of letting go of the ones he loves. Because he thinks it’s better for them— because he feels that he’s dangerous or a dealbreaker. This time, he’s determined to do things differently.

» He wants it to be your choice. You’ve respected him and his choices, so he owes you the same treatment. This time, it’ll be different.

» He’ll confess to you properly and hear your answer. He just hopes it’s the one he also wants to hear.

♚ say the words !

» Lilia hasn’t properly confessed to someone in ages. He isn’t above asking for help should he need it, but it’s more of a matter of who to ask. Surely not his fellow Diasomnia members— they didn’t have as much romantic experience. Idia’s knowledge extends only to virtual games, so eventually, he settles on asking his clubmates.

» When he presents his issue, he’s surprised to find Cater gaping at him, Kalim equally as shocked. Just as Idia had, they assumed that you were already dating him. (Just how many people thought this?)

» After their shock subsided, Cater was more than happy to assist, along with Kalim. Lilia’s courting knowledge was vast, but much of it was outdated. He didn’t want to scare you off, so he wanted to learn some of the more modern methods of courtship.

» Though, both of the suggestions he received fell flat. Cater suggested a very Magicam worthy date, while Kalim suggested a carpet ride of sorts. They both offered to assist with their respective ideas, but Lilia couldn’t accept. None of it felt right. While he was sure both ideas would impress you, it didn’t feel authentic.

» As much as Lilia loved to tease, he wanted this confession to be serious— to be personal. He didn’t want to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. Eventually, he asked Silver for help. Surely, he’d have some insight considering how well he knew Lilia.

» “Have you considered just using one of the methods you already know, father?” Silver asks with a tilt of his head.

» “I’m afraid all of my methods are rather outdated for this day and age, Silver,” Lilia muses. Silver responds with a small sigh and shakes his head.

» “So? They know who you are already, right? Even if the method’s a little outdated, it’ll be true to yourself. They’ve gotten to know you, so I doubt they’d expect something modern anyway,” Silver finishes. Lilia’s eyes widened and he smiled. Of course, how could he forget?

» You already knew of his vast experiences across countless years. Perhaps, trying to adapt to a modernity he was unfamiliar with simply wasn’t right. He’d confess to you in a way that felt true to him. He was certain you’d understand.

» Eventually, Lilia settled on something true to his Briar Valley roots. Rather traditional, but it was still romantic to him. He’d enchant a briar rose, wrap it in the twine from a spinning wheel, and seal it in a glass case. Then, when the moon was high in the sky, he’d present it to you. Should you return his feelings, the rose would live on. If not, it would wilt away.

» The story such a tradition originated from resonated with him. Someone beautiful and bright falling for someone considered a monstrous outcast. It was quite touching. He wasted no time in gathering his materials, going as far as to travel back home for a moment to find the most beautiful rose for the confession.

» Once finished, he enchanted the rose, imbuing it with his magic— his wish to be with you for the rest of your eternity. Then, the briar rose was tied with twine and sealed away into the glass case. With a smile on his face, he waited as night fell, then sought you out.

» Luckily, your light was on, though dim through your window. Tapping lightly on the glass, he tested to see if you were awake. The sudden noise startled you, but you knew only one person who could possibly visit you this late at night. And enter through your window, no less!

» “Lilia? It’s late, why are you here?” you question in a hush tone, moving to the side to allow him entry into your room. He slips in, grinning as he presents you the rose.

» “As is Briar Valley tradition, I can only present this to you at night. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion,” Lilia says, watching your expression carefully. Your eyes widen as you take the encased rose, observing it closely.

» “It’s beautiful. What’s the occasion? Did something happen?” you ask with a light laugh as you scan the flower. Before he can answer, your eyes widen as you seemingly put the pieces together.

» “Wait… you’ve mentioned this. This is a Briar Rose, right? The string wrapped around it… the glass… Briar Valley tradition— ah! Are you…?” your voice trails off as your face flushes. Lilia merely grins, eyes glinting with mischief.

» “Am I what, dearest?” he questions with a teasing tone. You shake your head and laugh, covering your face a bit.

» “Is this… a confession?” you whisper. Lilia’s eyes soften and he approaches you, placing his hands over yours as he peered into the glass at the rose.

» “How observant. You really do listen to me! This is a confession. I’m terribly in love with you. You’ve invaded my every thought before I could think to stop you! So I’ve decided to tell you. I know my nature can be a bit… alarming, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Silly, isn’t it?” Lilia says softly.

» “It isn’t silly, Lilia. And of course it’s mutual. For as omnipotent as you tend to be at times, you’re a little clueless, aren’t you?” you respond with a warm laugh. Lilia looks at you and tilts his head.

» “What do you mean?” he asks.

» “I’ve liked you for a long time now. Have you ever noticed my advances? I don’t treat you like I treat my other friends, y’know! Plus, the whole immortality thing doesn’t scare me… no part of you ever could,” you say. Lilia processes for a moment before beaming with a sharp grin.

» “Oh really? You’ll be stuck with me for quite some time? Are you truly ready to have such a cute, wonderful partner for the rest of your life?” he teases. You merely smile, placing the rose to the side. Pulling him into a tight hug, you gently nod.

» “I’ve been ready for quite some time now. I’m more than happy to call you mine.”

» Lilia melts into your embrace and lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding in. All of his memories of you come flooding into his mind. He’d been too afraid of judgment to notice at the time, but now he could see it— the way you reserved your brightest smiles for him. The way you’d gently lean into his side when sitting together— even the way you’d watch after Silver on his behalf.

» You’d loved him for quite some time, and now he could finally say that you were his. He’d have you by his side— and he could look towards the future with no regrets, knowing you’d be there.

♚ at last, with you !

» After you two officially start dating, Lilia acts more or less the same, however, in addition to his usual teasing, he becomes a lot more comfortable being openly affectionate with you.

» Are you walking beside him? His hand is intertwined with yours, then. Just sat down with your friends for lunch? Expect him to hug you from behind and kiss your temple as a greeting. Are you having a study session? Well Lilia’s there, leaned against your side and resting against you as you work. Lilia loves affection, so he gives you plenty of it.

» While he usually initiates any affection, if you ever initiate it first, it makes him incredibly happy. If you reach for his hand first, or greet him with a kiss, he always gets a wide grin and teases you about it. He’ll joke that you actually do love him, and that you must be head over heels for him to initiate such sweet affection. Once he manages to get your face to flush under his relentless teasing, he’ll let up and ask you to do whatever affection you initiated again.

» With how touchy he is, it’s only natural that people find out that you two are actually dating now. Because of your increased presence in Diasomnia, Silver, Malleus, and Sebek are quick to find out.

» Silver and Malleus are entirely supportive. Silver can visibly see how happy you make his father. Lilia spends less time alone nowadays, so Silver doesn’t have to worry about him as much anymore. He knows you’re a great match for Lilia given how much you care for him. Plus, your cooking is easily much better than his dad’s, but hey! Your presence has also made Lilia’s food more tolerable, so Silver’s content.

» Malleus is glad that Lilia’s found someone who respects him, but also accepts his more peculiar aspects. It’s something Malleus often struggled with himself, typically only having Lilia to turn to. In you, Lilia has found a partner, but Malleus has also found a cherished friend. You respect him, invite him out, and listen to him just as you do with Lilia. With such a kind soul, it’s only natural Lilia was drawn to you. So long as you two take care of one another, Malleus is certain that it’s a bond that’ll last a long time.

» Sebek is a different story. He’s at war with his internalized hatred against humans. He wants to respect Lilia’s choice, but he struggles to understand why at first. So, at the beginning he’s weary— closely watching your every move. Instead of finding flaws, he comes to realize why Lilia chose you. You don’t use him for his power, you engage with him and his hobbies, and you even watch after Malleus and Silver. With time, Sebek warms up to you. Of course he does! Perhaps, not all humans are bad. You’ve certainly proved that to him.

» His dormmates’— well, family’s approval is all that Lilia needs to know he’s made the best decision possible for himself. You fit right into his small family, as if you were always meant to be there. You fit right into his life, actually.

» You’re always in the crowd during his Light Music club performances. During the Magift tournaments, you’re in the crowd, cheering his name. Even when he finds himself busy with schoolwork, you’re there— sitting across from him as you work on your own assignments. He’s become so used to your presence in his daily life, but he does love dates with you, as well.

» Designated time to spend with one another. Naturally, he very much enjoys spending time alone with you. More often than not, you two have date nights in. Playing games, watching movies, staying up— it’s all a bit juvenile, but Lilia’s proud of his childish side. Plus, as long as you’re having fun, then it’s worth it.

» He loves those nights so much. Laying side by side after the movies are over, curled up together and having hushed conversation. It’s his favorite. You’ll share your dreams— your aspirations in the dark of the night. Lilia shares his experiences, the things he’s seen that he can’t wait to show you. It helps him visualize the vast future you both have ahead of you— the experiences he has yet to have. It makes him excited, but as much as he wants to see it, he’s content with time passing slowly by your side. As long as he’s with you, he’s happy.

» However, for as much as you two play around, for as much as you both cause chaos together— it isn’t all bright and sunny. Lilia is prone to painful nightmares— memories of his past dredging up and meshing with his recent memories. He’ll dream of losing Silver, Sebek, Malleus— even you— to a war much like the one he’d experienced. During those nights, he’s lucky if he gets even a single hour of sleep.

» You always seem to notice, though. In the morning, you’ll see his tired expression. No matter how much he tries to cover it with a grin, you see right through him. You never judge him or pity him, though. You merely guide him back to his room— school forgotten in favor of a day of healing. You’ll lay him down, remaining by his side as you run your fingers through his hair.

» “I’m here, and you aren’t gonna lose me. We’ve still got a lifetime ahead of us. You can rest. I’ll be here by your side when you wake up.”

» Your soothing words always put a smile on his face. He’ll hold you a little tighter as he drifts back to sleep, knowing that you’ll be there to comfort him should his nightmares wake him up again. On the days that his terrors do startle him awake again, you’re right there— gently rubbing circles into his back as he tells you what he saw. No matter how horrifying the nightmare, your smile remains as you comfort him— assure him that it won’t happen. Lilia will not lose you.

» You’ll always lighten the mood after, teasing him and insisting that he cannot be rid of you that easily. It always puts a smile on Lilia’s face, causing him to quirk a brow and question as to whatever could’ve possessed you to think that’d he’d want you gone?

» After some shared laughter as well as a few playful fights, Lilia manages to relax, night terrors long forgotten in favor of your warmth and comfort.

» Your comfort is so important to him. Of course, he loves being reassured that you won’t go anywhere, but it goes deeper than that.

» At NRC, Lilia is regarded as a terrifying fae with extensive abilities. Though he frequently jokes about his age, there are very few who actually believe him. Most think he’s merely joking— thus his struggles often go unnoticed. After all, someone that powerful couldn’t possibly be affected by loss after experiencing so much of it, or, he must be lying! He looks far too young to have been in any sort of war!

» As much as he tends to laugh it off, it gets to him. He’s forced to hold back— unable to express that emotional side of him. All people see is the conniving, teasing third year. If he ever expressed his painful experiences from his past, he’d likely be called a liar. In truth, he isn’t. And loss doesn’t hurt any less just because he’s strong. The sting of loss hurts just as much the first time as it does countless times after.

» And you understand that. You believe him. With a gentle smile and soft affection, you show him that while his experiences have made him stronger, it doesn’t mean he has to be immune to pain or fear. You show him that he doesn’t need to always hide away behind a facade of playfulness around you. You’re always there to listen, should he need the space to talk.

» For that, Lilia is grateful. You’re willing to share his best and worst moments, and you do so without pitying him or doubting him. You love him dearly. Teasing, serious, even a little scary— all are sides of him that you adore.

» For Lilia, that’s important. Because he knows he has a limited amount of time left, and that your time is limited, as well. For you to be so willing to dedicate that time to him— it’s quite beautiful.

» And with whatever time Lilia has left, he plans to do just the same.

» For you are the very embodiment of the future he hopes to live. And so long as that briar rose he confessed with remains bloomed, he knows that you feel the exact same.

— fin.

#twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fanfic #twst x reader #twisted wonderland fanfic #twst #twst lilia #twst lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst headcanons #winnie-writes #winnie-wishes

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go-go-devil · 4 months

Text

Pate and Patches: What's the Difference?

As an avid Patches Enjoyer, I had initially found myself a bit underwhelmed with Mild Mannered Pate after completing his questline in Dark Souls 2, particularly with his overall lack of any truly devious trickery towards my Bearer of the Curse.

However, I didn't think it was fair to him to completely compare his role to Patches's. So after much assessment and taking in all the gameplay & environmental clues I could, I think I may have finally deduced how Pate's differences to Patches help him fit into his own niche in this game.

Y'see, while Patches is a predator, Pate is a parasite.

Patches goes after his victims directly. He lures them in with the promise of treasure only to flip a switch that'll send them into dangerous/fatal areas or will straight up kick them down there himself. If they somehow manage to get out of his traps then he'll start groveling and offering gifts for forgiveness. He also uses this predatory tactic to determine which of the people around him are both resilient and forgiving enough for him to trust, which leads him to becoming a merchant and thus a kind of ally to you. A sketchy, devious ally, but one who actively benefits you and gives you his occasional musings on the world and its characters.

Pate, on the other hand, doesn't seem to want to get his hands dirty at all when it comes to scavenging his victims' loot. Instead his strategy is to directly attach himself to anyone who proves strong enough to get through any dangerous areas he stumbles upon. He does this by playing the role of an unassuming, cautious treasure hunter who gives you helpful advice about the immediate area and wishes for your safety. It can even be seen through his choice of clothes; Pate dresses in the armor of a common warrior, unlike Patches who proudly wears the thief's set.

I remember at first finding it strange how he of all NPC's was the one who gives you the white soapstone, contrasting how in DS1 it was Solaire, one of the kindest characters in that game, who gave it to us. Looking back, however, it does fit his strategy well. Summons directly benefit from their summoners by getting souls & items for their participation, and so Pate can offer his help by turtling with his greatshield and stabbing the boss safely with his long spear to get his fill of the large number of souls you acquire.

Once he becomes his next victim's "ally," all Pate has to do now is just mosey alongside them and keep finding areas where they can acquire great treasures. But only for them, of course! He's just too nervous about what terrible traps await, but surely his ally is brave and strong enough to persevere while he watches from a distance. If they were to die by a swarm of hollows, or fall into a pit of poison, well, it wasn't HIS fault that it happened! He did warn them, after all...

With that in mind it's easy to assume that Pate was pulling this parasitism on Creighton for a good while, tagging along with him and benefiting from all the undead, hollow or sane, that the man slayed. The two even stored their treasures together in the same hovel. Why exactly he locked him up is never directly explained, but if I were to guess I'd say it had to do with Creighton's claim of wanting to set up a trap for Pate. He began to grow wise (or maybe moreso paranoid) to the fact that he was being used, and once his mild mannered "friend" figured it out he tricked him right back, took what he could from him (that being the Ring of Thorns), and booked it!

And even after all of that, this man still has the gall to share this story with strangers by twisting it around and turning the guy who tried to kill him into this poor, foolish little warrior that Pate tried so hard to stop from falling into such an obvious trap.

That's what separates the two tricksters. Unlike Patches who defines himself by living independently from others, Pate cannot function without hooking his claws onto the trust of more daring individuals to do all the dirty work for him. After surviving Patches's tricks he becomes your merchant and ally, but Pate wants nothing to do with you after surviving all of his traps. While Patches locked up and warns you about Yurt and Lautrec in DeS and DS1 respectively because he was genuinely afraid of how cruel and violent they were, Pate locked up Creighton upon realizing he wasn't beneficial to him anymore and doesn't even bother warning you about the fact that he's a convicted serial killer, instead pretending he doesn't even know the guy.

There's also the fact that if you summon Pate for The Last Giant boss fight, he'll give you his clothes, spear, greatshield, and even the ring (or at least copies of them, he doesn't strip down in front of us). Since this is also when he tells us he's heard of a man who's out hunting for him, it's more than a little suspicious that he would want us to dress to his likeness. Especially if that certain someone might end up mistaking us as him.

All-in-all Pate may seem less harmful than Patches on the surface, but in the end he proves to be far more cowardly and arguably WORSE than him from a moral standpoint.

#mild mannered pate #patches #creighton the wanderer #dark souls #dark souls 2 #soulsborne #my two cents #at first I saw pate as a discount patches #but now I realized I actually had a lot to say about him #now that's what I call character development ;-)

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michictaa · 2 months

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🗝️ – IT'S ALWAYS X AND Y, BUT WHY NOT U AND I?

"I'm serious about the word "I love you". If ever you don't think so, love me, because it's only u and i in this world.”

pairing : Wirth Madl x Reader

tags : childhood friends, fluff, more fluff, kissing (idk what else), academic trauma (LMAOOOOO), Wirth having a soft spot for you🫶

wc : 1,084

author’s note; I love him so much so much, I’m just gonna leave this here. I love him (art by @/rrokii42, their art is insanely crunchy!!)

“Checkmate, I win again.” Wirth snickered as you were left speechless, it was the third game of the night, lasting for 30 minutes per chess session. You were left bewildered. “And I wasn’t even taking it seriously, I was already giving clues. Are you really this bad or is it naturally because I’m better than you?,” He boasts once again. “I’m not that bad! It’s just that you have way more experience! Plus are we always just gonna play chess, the night’s still young.” you told him about it. Tilting his head, Wirth asked what exactly were you implying “Well, what do you even want to do?” “I don’t know, you decide.”

You and Wirth have been good friends for a while, simply because of your families having an amazing relationship. He knew all about you. You knew about him. He was always there for you during the times you were down or just couldn’t take it anymore, and so were you for him. People were honestly wondering why you two weren’t dating yet, and you did not know how to answer that question. You liked him so much, it was killing you. But you play it off pretty well, because he didn’t recognize it yet. He seemed so oblivious to you— wrong. He likes you so much. He visits you everyday at your dorm just to play chess with you because he likes your presence and he’ll never forget how your defeated face looks . He thinks it’s cute. He’ll also pretend not to get a math lesson just so you teach him for a few minutes straight because he likes hearing your voice, pulling you with that “I still don’t get it” card so you teach him all about it again so he hears your voice more. He also likes it when you comfort him, a lot. So much that he’ll keep his tears out of sight and once he’s with you— he starts crying. Because it was what he was used to growing up with you.

So it was safe to say that you both are oblivious to each other— not knowing what you two truly felt together. Wirth ultimately loves you, and so do you. But… You always sought ways for him to “like you back”. From anonymous letters, to sending him corny math jokes, bringing him lunch, showing your forbidden collection. It was already clear. A few days ago, Wirth read one of the jokes written on a piece of paper saying, “It’s always x and y, why not u and i?” Wirth was about to burst out laughing from what he just read till you ran at him like a mad gremlin, “Gimme that!” you snatched the paper from him as he burst out laughing while reading it once again. “Why so mad? I mean it was pretty funny after all, corny most of it.” Wirth chuckles at you, a blushing mess right now. You did try, but he made a laughing stock out of it— so you thought. He thinks to himself, why should he keep his feelings from you when the message is clear— you like him; too.

So, Wirth decides to visit you— a Friday night of all nights. Doing your usual, playing chess and eating sweets. Yet this night was different from all the others, you offered to do something else; new, Wirth thinks to himself. Nevertheless, he agreed. You were getting predictable anyways. He would do anything just to find another game to play with you rather than chess.

“Alright, let’s play something else.” Wirth concludes. “What else is there to play rather than chess? It’s literally the only thing we know how to play…” You sighed, he responded to you with a mundane tone. “Let’s just talk, maybe you know… Let it all go?” you chuckled at his words. “Maybe, it’s better than chess…” you smiled at him, Wirth sighed as he lay down on your bed. “Hey! I didn’t allow you to sleep on my bed!” you protested. “Your bed feels more comfortable. I can feel it…” “I don’t take excuses for granted, Wirth. Now get outta my bed ....”

“You already know that my dad’s mean, Wirth— why’d you gotta remind me?” you sighed as he responded, slightly chuckling, “Well, it just came to my mind, nothing special really.” He slowly moved closer to you, as his face was literally inches away from yours, he mumbled “You’re nothing like him. You’re nothing like anyone— at all. When dad used to play favorites on me and my brother, who did you like better?” “You, obviously. He kinda acts like a robot though..” you said jokingly. “But, Wirth. Just saying, no offense to him though.” Wirth bit his tongue, then suddenly laughed. “See, I knew you liked me better. Honestly, I hoped you did.” He chuckles, “This is getting insanely boring now. I want to do something.” He gestures himself closer to you. “Do you want to kiss?” He asked without hesitation. “What the heck? Are you out of your mind..?” You raised your eyebrow. “It’s to ease boredom! I swear I’m not gonna say anything after.” he responded. “Well, if it can ease boredom…”

You don’t know how you landed in this situation. Wirth was kissing you, you were seated on his lap with your arms over his shoulders. His lips brushed against yours as you two were trying to catch your breaths as you were entangled in your heated kiss. His lips felt like soft silk against yours as you felt a soft tickle on your nose. He pulled away after a while, then chuckled. “You truly love me, don’t you? Because I love you, so much.” You responded with a simple smile, more than enough for him. “I love you too, Wirth Madl.” You gleamed with joy.

"I'm serious about the word "I love you". If ever you don't think so, love me, because it's only u and i in this world.”

#— michi's mashle!#wirth madl x reader #wirth madl #mashle: magic and muscles #mashle x reader #mashle #i love him

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gojot-t · 8 months

Note

also 👉👈

can i make another order for being locked together with kageyama? (again, its completely all right if not!)

id love to have “Is this okay?” “Yeah, that— that’s okay. Please— keep going.” for the topping

(im sorry for all the bothering, you dont have to do these if you dont want to)

from the valentine's day event! ⊹ ࣪ ˖

kageyama + being locked together + “Is this okay?” “Yeah, that— that’s okay. Please— keep going.”

cw/tags: tanaka and noya being questionable wingmans, gn!neutral reader and making out :o

If someone said to you 30 min ago that you would be locked together in the small, small broom room with Kageyama, you would laugh in their faces. But it seems that life has a funny way of working because that's the exact situation you find yourself in.

See, you're not some kind of genius or clairvoyant to know why things happen, but if Noya and Tanaka’s malicious laugh that you managed to hear before a body was basically thrown against yours and everything went dark would serve as a clue, then you think you have an idea.

“Hm… S-so...” Oh yes. The main problem at the moment. For more than one reason, actually.

"Don't worry, Kageyama-san. I'm sure that someone sooner or later will get us out of here... hahah... I hope…” It's not like you thought this was the worst situation in the world, on the contrary, you slept imagining your dear freshman, who you may or may not have a crush on, doing the famous kabedon on you at least three nights, the only difference is that well... not in the tiny broom closet.

Oh, here's another hint as to why this may happe- “S-Senpai... Please stop moving so much.."

“Ah! Sorry, Kageyama-san!” You try to make your body more upright, but you only end up headbutting his chin. “S-Sorry!!" You squirm even more, and his hand, which was on the side of your head, moves to squeeze your waist. You don't know if this is the heaven's blessing or punishing you.

“Ahg… Senpai!” He kind of made a weird sound now... When you look at him, the sliver of light passing through the door illuminates his face so red that you worry. Ignoring how handsome he looks at this angle, you focus on desperately cursing the two idiots who put you in this situation in the first place. If before you thought he hated you, now you are sure.

You've never been close to the youngest, even though he's never left your mind since he saved you from getting hit in the face in front of the entire volleyball team, you're sure he doesn't feel the same. Every time you tried to talk to him about something, he would just stare at you with a red face before walking away.

It must be because of your feelings, he probably feels uncomfortable being around you. You were sure you're discreet, but apparently it was pretty obvious, if even the two goofballs found out even though you never talked to them about it.

"Sorry, Kageyama-san... You must be hating this.”

“E-Eh? No! Ah- I mean, no… I just never did this before…” He takes a deep breath and looks at you before continuing to speak. "Look, I have been trying to tell you this… That… I really-”

“It’s fine, Kageyama-san, I get it. You hate me, right? It's totally fine, you don't have to force yourself to-”

“W-what?? No! Just listen to me a bit-”

“It's okay! Really! Totally fine and-”

You're interrupted by him holding your face firmly in his hands, eyes looking so serious and desperate that you don't have the courage to say anything else. Wait... His face has always been so close to yours?!

“I've been trying to tell you this…” His lips whisper just above yours, eyes fixed on you as if asking for permission. There's only a second of silence where neither of you move before your lips meet his at the same time.

Like a moment of epiphany, your body seems to fly and the only thing holding you to the ground is his hands on your body. Even if the kiss was a mess of teeth and tongue, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. His hand on your face moves back to your waist and hugs you closer to him.

You wrap your arms around his neck and end up accidentally biting his lip slightly. “Ahg, Senpai…”

“Tobio..." You only pull away when you're completely out of breath. You stare at each other for a moment with wide eyes before kissing again. The movements that were once desperate and frantic are now slow and steady, trying to hold on to every second of the moment.

You part with his lips and move to his neck, giving it a light kiss before lightly grazing your teeth against the skin there.

“Tobio… Is this okay?”

“Yeah, that— that’s okay. Please— keep going.”

You knew that when you got home, you would scream into your pillow thinking about where you got the courage to do this, but at the moment, your mind could only think about him, his lips, his touch.

Your lips suck at the skin just enough to form a shy red, and your tongue soothes the irritated skin when you pull away.

When you lift your face to kiss him again, the door is suddenly opened.

“RIGHT!! the two lovebirds had their time~ ARGHH! What is this vulgar scene?!?!! Noya-san, close your eyes!!”

You really feel like killing these two.

a/n: don't worry anon, you could never bother! actually, I had a lot of fun writing this, even though it was my first time writing a kissing scene. I hope I did well. I hope you liked it! ♡ btw, im working on your tsukishima order too^^

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #tobio kageyama x reader #tobio x reader #hq fluff #tobio hcs #gojot t valentine's day event! 𓍯𓂃

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thelunarfairy · 3 months

Note

Omg hi-

I was reading your theories rn and this one theory caught my eye- the one about Nene possibly being the culprit behind all of this- THAT SOUNDS SO INTERESTING THO?!?!

And omg this does seem like a possibility!! Because let's take the example of that one chapter where little amane, using all the tags, wished to meet nene again. I think that in a way really strongly Kickstarted the whole chaos, if I were to put it that way. Because nene somehow gets involved with the past of the yugis, I wouldn't be surprised if nene does indirectly or directly have a hand in some changes in amane's life. Then there's another thing with amane changing his fate completely, what if that bit is related to this??

Lmao that last line also makes me wonder, just what did kako change that the whole fucking present got altered so much?! Aidairo are truly creative-

I would really really love your input on this!! Do tell me if I missed something out! It's been a LONG while since I deep dived into tbhk theories, especially the old ones, anyways love your work a lot <33

Hiiiiiii Wow!! THANK YUUUUUUUU 🧡🧡

Well, Nene is just as mysterious as the twins, the difference is that she hasn't given us any clues about anything at all. I mean, we know that Hanako killed his own brother, so we're trying to find out why and how it happened, the focus is on him.

But what about Nene? Since we don't have a point to focus on her, we just follow the story, but technically, we know more about Hanako than about Nene.

What do we know about her? That she had two hamsters with strange names and that she wants to find love. We don't know who her parents are, what they do, her family, I mean, Nene has purification powers, where did that come from??

Teru knows, and so does Hanako, but nothing has been said about it. Even Tsukasa changed his mind about trying to hurt Nene in mirror hell (when he was going to slam her face against the floor). Tsukasa guided her to some places in the flow of time, meaning he needs her to be able to change events.

And of course, she herself can travel through time without even bothering to think how or why. Let's assume she accepted that finding little Amane was just a dream, but we know it wasn't. The end of the chapter clearly shows him wanting to meet her again, and well, she wasn't there to "dream" about it anymore. It was real.

So, the mystery of Nene, there is something important about her that not even she knows. Of course, she's the protagonist, so she would have to have a major role, but if Nene is the villain, I imagine it's unintentional.

When she alters events and does things without thinking too much, without even questioning whether she is being manipulated. It doesn't make her the villain, but it makes her the one to blame for the events.

She changed little things in the past, but those little things had a big consequence. She took his keys, she and Kou made little Tsukasa return, and yes, little Amane and the desire to meet her again.

Of all the events, I believe that the keys and making Tsukasa return were the ones that brought the most changes to Amane's destiny, remembering that Nene taking the key was something that Tsukasa planned, he threw her there on purpose.

So up until now, Nene was being used as a tool by the twins from the beginning. Because she can do things they can't (like remove the yorishiros)

Chaos began when Nene agreed to do everything they asked without even thinking about it.

It's curious, but it seems that Kako changed something related to the festival, that's what it seems, 12-year-old Tsukasa wouldn't have reappeared for nothing, and all this confusion started at the festival, linking the two festivals at different times. Besides that mysterious hand talking about an "incident".

So, I think it was at that time.

Thank youuuuuuuuuu I'm happy to know that!!!!!!!! I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!

🧡🧡🧡🧡

#toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #tbhk #jibaku shounen hanako kun #amane yugi #hanako kun #aidairo #yugi twins #hanakokun #jshk spoilers #tsukasa yugi #yugi tsukasa #jshk amane #yugi amane #nene yashiro #yashiro nene #jshk yashiro #yashiro #tbhk yashiro

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plutoccult · 8 months

Text

HAIKYUU X THE OFFICE AU — EPISODE FIVE: BOOZE CRUISE

pairing: sugawara koushi x female reader

description: ukai attempts to help the office bond more by booking a booze cruise for his employees… in the middle of winter. meanwhile, tanaka miserably tries to set suga up with his older sister per kiyoko’s suggestion.

word count: 6.5k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: hey, i changed my user! i was @310802 before, now i’m @plutoccult! i also had to repost this because the original post wasn’t showing up in ANY tags, so i’m sorry if you already read it before i did this! moving on, i was SO EXCITED to write this episode. i know i neglected the katy storyline from the show, so i decided to take the opportunity to somewhat use that for this episode as a little one-off. i think i was clever with its use too… i’m trying to balance the amount of “screen”time between the reader and suga, but some episodes may just end up needing more focus on suga for the sake of the storyline. anyway, the next few weeks is gonna be updates galore, so you’re all gonna be FED. btw, thank you to @dragon-slayer5 for beta reading this! enjoy!

tags: @toorubobatea @intorder @dragon-slayer5 @femme-lune @jeanboyjean @cowgirlikets @imissyuuji @darthferbert @kazuchaos @bakagun1312 @beingbrokenfitsus @mumblepingu @daedaep69 @intheewrld @msbyomimi @sukxma @akari-fujikawa @milkteeboba

taglist form here

suga considered lunchtime to be the only time of day where he could actually catch a break. he seemed to have a hard time catching any sort of breaks lately, especially when it came to his miserable love life. as much as he wanted things to change, today would certainly be no different.

since suga entered the office building this morning, tanaka had his eyes on him like an hawk. it was creepy how every time suga looked away from his computer, tanaka was staring right at him. but why? did he have something on his face? was his hair actually looking gray? no, that would be terrible. there can’t be anything than that.

to hopefully get tanaka’s eyes off him for once, suga got up and headed down to the hallway where the vending machines were. maybe a little snack would ease the unnerving feeling in his stomach. unfortunately, tanaka was already on his way to follow.

suga pondered over his choices, and before he knew it, tanaka’s reflection was seen in the glass of the vending machine. it was like a scene straight out of a horror movie, but suga decided to ignore him and pray he would go away, then continued to ponder over what to pick.

“a little birdie told me something.” tanaka spoke up.

oh no. “what?”

“nothing.” he smirked.

you enter, also looking to use the vending machine. great, just what this moment needed, suga thought.

“hey, guys.” you greet the two men, no clue about what’s going on. it was better if you didn’t know.

“oh, hi, y/n.” suga slightly blushed.

a smirk crept up on tanaka’s face. suga began to wonder about tanaka’s motives even more, but shook it off and picked a bag of sour cream and onion chips before walking back to his desk. tanaka quickly followed behind, which you found weird considering you assumed he was waiting for his turn to use the vending machine. you figured “oh well”, got your snack, and went back to your desk.

you sit down and meet eyes with suga who’s about pop a chip into his mouth. you quickly open up your bag and pull out a chip, doing a little “clink” with your chips from across the room, which suga immediately thought to reciprocate. it was good to know you two were still in sync.

a few minutes later, ukai returned from eating out for lunch, which he typically did almost every day. oh, how you wished you could afford ordering food for lunch all the time like your boss, but alas, you were just the receptionist.

“hello, everyone.” ukai said as he hung up his coat.

“welcome back, ukai.” tanaka replied before loudly whispering in suga’s ear. “i know your secret…”

my god. as much as suga was totally freaked out right now, ukai thought tanaka’s menacing words were directed towards him instead. “what?! i don’t have any secrets!”

suga and tanaka both look into the camera with furrowed eyebrows.

•••

the crew loved putting you and suga together for interviews. and given the drama that’s soon to come, they had to use every opportunity possible.

“so, ukai sent everyone a very interesting email last week.” you say the camera.

“yeah, it was, um… quite the thinker.” suga chuckled.

“mhm. it said, “it's time for our first quarter camaraderie event, so pack a swimsuit, a toothbrush, rubber-soled shoes, and a ski mask.” you read out the email from your phone. “i’m not really sure what that exactly equates to…”

“clearly, he wants to us to rob a bank and escape through the sewers afterwards.” suga shrugged. that was totally the obvious conclusion.

“then brush our teeth after a hard time committing crimes?” you jokingly question.

“yeah, exactly.” suga smiled at you, making you blush. you quickly turn to the crew and wonder if they noticed that, but it was obvious they did. the cameras catch everything.

•••

now the question that remained rent-free in everyone’s minds was what the hell ukai could possibly be planning this year. he was never up to any good, always doing something completely out of the box. he was simply incapable of doing anything normal. it made work interesting, but sometimes you all wished ukai take a chill pill for once.

at the most random time, ukai emerged from his office with an announcement. why he always did this, you couldn’t help but wonder, yet you didn’t hesitate to look away from your computer to hear what he had to say this time around.

“everyone, it appears some of you have figured me out.” ukai said to grab everyone’s attention. “so, it is now time to unveil the destination of this year's retreat. drumroll, please.”

no one provides a drumroll, much to ukai’s disappointment. “really? no drumroll? not even you, tanaka?”

“just spit it out already.” tanaka groaned.

“okay, fine.” he sighed before announcing the big news. “i got us a riverboat cruise on the abukuma river! it’s gonna be a booze cruise!”

a booze cruise? god, for a paper company, you guys sure consumed a lot of alcohol. plus, the combination of ukai and a cruise ship already seemed like a total disaster. when you add booze into the mix, it was almost comparable to the end of the world.

ukai received practically cricket noises from his employees, daichi being the one to express what was on everyone’s minds. “ukai, it’s january.”

“so? it was cheaper.” ukai shrugged. if it were any other month, like—hm, who knows—any month in the summer, maybe they’d show a little more excitement.

“and what is up with you and booze?” daichi asked. again, something you’ve all thought about at least once. “this is like when hinata was addicted to mixing buzzballz with every soda known to man.”

“pepsi with the cranberry flavor was the best…” hinata randomly spoke up, remembering that month-long phase last year. it wasn’t pretty, to say the least.

“gross…” kageyama shook his head in disgust.

“you don’t get it like i do, kageyama.” hinata protested.

“what is that supposed to mean?” kageyama raised an eyebrow, ready to start up an argument with his desk neighbor at any given second. typical, of course. you wondered when it would ever get old.

“okay, shut up before you two start making out!” ukai interrupted them before another hr fiasco occurred. again.

“what?!” the two gawked in unison. did they really give off that vibe?

“anyway!” ukai forced a laugh and switched the subject back to the cruise. “just hear me out guys, okay? let me cook. i��m combining fun with education! it’s gonna be mind-blowing.”

“sounds like you just want another excuse to party.”

“it’s not a party, it’s a bonding exercise.” ukai corrected him. “i’m helping us bond. people find lifelong friends in the workplace. others may find the love of their lives.”

ukai was right, shockingly. people do find lifelong friends. suga knew he would always stay friends with daichi for life, and even if tsukishima got on his nerves sometimes, he wasn’t the worst person in the world to be around. there would always be a bond between your coworkers. maybe you were all trauma bonded from dealing with ukai for all these years, but it was an unforgettable bond nonetheless.

suga blushed out of embarrassment from that last statement. some do find the love of their lives. he liked to believe you were the love of his life, swearing he found such a thing his first day at the office. the second he walked through that door and was met with your face, the words “japan pulp and paper, this is y/n. please hold.” coming out of your mouth as you spoke on the phone before setting it down to ask him what he needed. suga knew, right then and there, that he had found his future wife, but oh how he wished he knew back then what he would be in for years later.

even if ukai was oddly onto something for once, not everyone was interested. asahi, who had yet to survive a full year at the office, raised his hand and attempted to opt out of the event. “can i sit this one out? i have… a thing… later…”

“nice try, asahi.” ukai rolled his eyes. “this is mandatory. i better see your beefy ass on that dock tonight.”

“i’m not that beefy…” asahi said with a tinge of red on his cheeks.

“you so are, bro. those glutes go crazy.” nishinoya said confidently.

asahi wasn’t sure why nishinoya was paying attention to that area of his body, but he took the compliment anyway, although continuing to question it. “thank you?”

“glad we got that covered.” ukai said. “now, before we go on this cruise later, we have to talk about safety.”

“you’re literally the most unsafe person here, ukai.” you speak up. if anyone knew ukai best, it would very well be you, always there to deal with his antics and sometimes assist in them. the time you helped ukai hack into a higher up’s email account to prevent a picture of his ass that he accidentally sent being seen would go down in office history. you saved his ass, quite literally.

“ugh, come on!” ukai huffed. “i saw titantic a million times and i refuse to let us all die like leonardo dicaprio!”

•••

“do you think you could save one of your employees in the face of danger?”

“um, hello? i took a swimming class once. of course, i could save one of them.” ukai sassily replied to the documentary crew. “besides, we all know jack and rose could’ve both fit on that door at the end of titanic. james cameron is such a liar.”

•••

later on, suga went to go grab a cup of coffee in the break room. before he knew it, he was being cornered by tanaka, the sound of his name being called practically scaring him shitless. “sugawara koushi.”

“jesus christ.” suga jumped, putting his hand over his chest to feel his heartbeat. “do not use my full name like that ever again.”

“shut up.” tanaka shushed him and pressed his index finger over suga’s mouth to further silence him. “how would you… like to… take my sister as your date for the booze cruise tonight?”

there was no way this could be real life right now, suga thought. being in this position with tanaka was weird enough, but taking his sister as his date? he wasn’t even aware people were taking dates for this. it was no contest who suga truly wanted to take as a date, but of course it wasn’t an option, and he didn’t want to settle.

“your… sister? uh, no thanks.” suga turned the idea down without hesitation. however, tanaka was feeling devious.

“really?” he moved his finger away and crossed his arms with a smirk on his face. “kiyoko told me everything, suga. i know you have feelings for—”

oh no. not again.

“oh my god, shut your fucking mouth!” suga exclaimed with wide eyes, slapping his hands over tanaka’s mouth so he’d be quiet. to hell with censorship, this was critical. at this rate, the whole damn office was going to find out about suga’s pathetic feelings. he was going to end up broke by the time he bribed everyone to keep their mouths shut. his poor wallet and heartstrings can’t suffer any longer.

“woah, woah, woah!” tanaka laughed awkwardly, actually kind of scared over suga’s newfound rage. “language, my man!”

“whatever!” suga yelled “why the hell did she tell you?!”

“well, it was her idea to set you up with my sister, and i wanted to know why, so…” tanaka replied timidly, hoping kiyoko wouldn’t kill him later for pinning part of the blame onto her. well, unless suga didn’t get to her first.

“god fucking dammit.” suga cursed as he walked away from this monstrosity of a conversation. now, where was he off to? to confront kiyoko about the mess she’s made, of course.

“well? are you taking her out or not?!” tanaka yelled out to suga on his way out, receiving a middle finger in response, which will undoubtedly be blurred out in post production. the editing team had a lot of work cut out for them, that’s for sure.

on a mission like his life—and certainly dignity—depended on it, suga stormed up to kiyoko’s desk, where tsukishima and yamaguchi sat across from one another.

“kiyoko.” he towered over her as she sat in her chair, completely unbothered by him. “you were sworn to secrecy.”

“actually, only tsukishima was because you gave him twenty bucks.” kiyoko said. “you didn’t buy my silence.”

well, no wonder she spilled the beans. tsukishima got money, she didn’t. it’s not like kiyoko had asked that day at the christmas party, but suga certainly should have known better than to not doubt her. yamaguchi, however, was one big ol’ question mark. “yamaguchi? what about your silence?”

“i don’t like taking advantage of those less fortunate than me.” yamaguchi replied to him, those savage words coming out so innocent from his voice.

“less fortunate?!” suga gasped. it was beyond insulting, but he couldn’t even be that mad hearing it come from yamaguchi. now, if it were tsukishima talking, he’d insult him right back.

“suga, you need to have eyes on other women.” kiyoko lectured him. it’s not like she was wrong, obviously suga knew that, but the heart wants what it wants, and no matter what, his heart wanted you.

“but did you really have to tell tanaka about it?” suga whined.

tsukishima almost choked on his drink. “you told—”

“quiet.” kiyoko shushed tsukishima. “listen, suga. i’m doing you a favor, okay? just… take saeko out. just once. maybe it could take your mind off you know who for a little while?”

suga didn’t really have much choice, did he? maybe being seen with another woman will throw away any suspicion his coworkers may potentially have. it definitely won’t take his mind off of you, but at the very least, suga could have some sort of benefit from this whole ordeal.

“and will you keep your mouth shut if i do?” he asked, the most important question of all.

“accompanied by some cash, yes.” kiyoko said. why, of course.

giving in, suga let out a sigh as he whipped out his wallet and handed kiyoko money. she took the bill with a smile on her face, slyly putting in it her pocket.

“what about me—” yamaguchi began to say before suga cut him off.

“i’m less fortunate, remember?” he replied sassily, a nod to what yamaguchi said earlier. suga then finally went back to his desk, muttering curses to himself. “assholes.”

•••

“i’m gonna end up killing someone.” suga said to the camera with an unsettling smile, which quickly faded when he realized he couldn’t actually commit murder like he desired in the moment. “actually, i can’t do that. i’m still waiting for gta 6 to come out.”

“what?”

“none of you guys are waiting for gta 6?” he furrowed his eyebrows before pouting when the crew shook their heads no. “aw, come on…”

•••

once the sun set for the night, the employees of japan pulp and paper all met up at the dock for tonight’s booze cruise. ukai, who arrived far too early, waved his arms in the air for his employees, motioning them to board the boat, acting as if he were the captain of it.

“all aboard!”

“isn’t that what people say on trains?” you ask as you arrive with ryo, shocked he’s not totally against coming here tonight. it was safe to assume it’s because of the open bar, when you really thought it through.

“that’s such a stupid question.” ryo scoffed. of course, a part of him hated being around your obnoxious coworkers. that was no surprise, unfortunately.

“whatever.” you sigh. “sorry i asked, i guess…”

meanwhile, suga parked his car in the parking, just now arriving. he hoped he wasn’t late as he really didn’t need to feel tanaka’s and/or kiyoko’s wrath. he may as well feel it regardless of his time of arrival. suga didn’t want this date tonight. that too was no surprise.

as he got out of his car, suga’s eyes landed on the coolest motorcycle he had ever seen. whoever owned it must take really good care of it, like it was their child or something, he thought to himself. suga didn’t think of the motorcycle much further as he heard a car door slam from far away. he turned around, hoping it was you, but it turned out to kiyoko and yachi rushing towards him.

“sugawara!” they yell out.

suga put his hands out in front of him, hoping to shield the two girls away. “oh god, am i being ambushed?”

“no.” kiyoko replied to his question out of breath. she knew quitting track in high school was a terrible idea. “we were waiting for you to arrive.”

“why..?” suga furrowed his eyebrows.

“to make sure you’re ready for tonight.” yachi said on kiyoko’s behalf.

what did he exactly to be ready for? a date he was forced into with a woman he’s never met? frankly, suga he didn’t really want to meet tanaka’s sister. it was nothing against her personally, she just wasn’t you.

“do i need to give you money too, yachi?” he groaned.

“that’s like taking money from charity.” she replied. man, yachi was just as savage as yamaguchi. they’re truly made for each other.

“wow, just wow.” suga said in disbelief. “look, i’m here, isn’t that good enough?”

“no.” kiyoko deadpanned.

he didn’t have time for this bullshit. suga was just going that stupid dock. “i’m walking away.”

“but—” kiyoko and yachi go after him, but can’t seem to keep up.

suga didn’t really think this through. he was just so irritated that he had to get away from kiyoko and yachi. suga didn’t think about where his feet were going, but before he knew it, he was right at the dock, freezing when you saw you with your fiancé. god, he really regretted his life choices right now.

“suga, come here, pretty boy!” he’s snapped back to reality thanks to tanaka calling out his name. without any chance to take a step, kiyoko and yachi creep up behind him and push him to move. you watch the events unravel, wondering what’s going on, but shake it off bring your back to ryo.

suga stumbled to tanaka and an unfamiliar woman. he met eyes with her, a look of shock evidently present on his face. how can someone related to a bozo like tanaka be so… attractive? no. suga couldn’t think like that. she was tanaka’s sister.

“this is my sister, saeko.” tanaka said, waiting for one of them to say something.

“hiya, suga.” saeko extended her hand out for a handshake. “nice to meet you.”

“hello.” suga replied awkwardly, reciprocating the handshake. thank god it was winter. otherwise, they wouldn’t be wearing gloves.

“have her home by midnight.” tanaka joked. “i’m just kidding, she rode herself here.”

“huh?” suga questioned.

“oh, she’s a biker. have fun!” tanaka then walked away to follow kiyoko, who was boarding the ship with yachi. at least suga knew where that awesome motorcycle belonged to.

now alone with saeko, suga turned his head and watched you board the ship with ryo. he looked back to saeko and examined her face for a second before deciding his next action. she was a very pretty woman, but that simply couldn’t fill the void in suga’s heart. he had to be honest while he had the chance. it was only fair.

“listen, saeko… you seem like a really nice girl, but tanaka is only doing this because i’m in love with a girl that works here and wants to help me get over her.” he admitted, a weight lifted off his shoulders after revealing the truth. “i just think i should be honest.”

“oh, i know.” saeko replied bluntly. “he told me all about that.”

suga blinked a couple times and tried to make sure he heard that correctly. “he did?”

“yeah, i’m just doing this because i owe him one.” she shrugged. “besides, i don’t really date older guys.”

“older?” right. the hair. of course.

“i can play wingwoman for ya! don’t worry, pops.” saeko lightly punched him in the arm, followed by an obnoxiously loud laugh. suga looked to the cameras for help, but the crew just stood in their place.

•••

“tanaka…” suga let out a long sigh. “what the hell have you gotten me into?”

•••

after going through all of the safety measures for the cruise, the office were finally allowed to have their fun. it seemed that telling saeko the truth was the best idea suga ever had as she wanted to help him out by trying to make you jealous. well, if that’s even possible, but who knows? it was worth a shot.

suga and saeko walked to you and ryo as you sat together at one of the many tables. their arms were interlinked, surely making some sort of statement.

“y/n, ryo.” suga said to catch your attention, although he ended up catching ryo’s attention more than yours thanks to saeko.

“well, well, well. who’s the pretty lady you brought with you tonight, suga?” ryo asked with a smirk.

you weren’t all that phased until ryo spoke up. saeko wasn’t just pretty to you, she was beautiful, far more than you ever thought of yourself. you can’t remember the last time ryo ever gave you eyes like the ones he was giving saeko now. you weren’t sure who or what you were jealous of right now. the fact that suga was on a date, your fiancé ogling at said date, or that she was so much prettier than you. you cursed yourself in your head for those thought. you didn’t have a right to be jealous of suga. he had every right to date, he was single, you were not.

now that you thought about it, suga never really dated anyone since he started at the office. as far as you knew, at least. you wondered why that was, but it was impossible to pinpoint it down to one reason. you were so painfully blind to the truth.

“uh, this is—” suga began to introduce saeko until she interrupted him.

“saeko. nice to meet you.” she said with a smile.

“she’s tanaka’s sister.” suga added for a little salt in the wound.

“oh…” your eyes widened. you look to ryo and see as he gave suga a high five, telling him he hit the jackpot. you felt sick, and it definitely had nothing to do with the sea.

suga sat next to you, making you in between him and ryo. saeko sat on the end with suga, showing her excitement about the booze cruise. “i feel like we're in high school and we're sitting at the cool table. how fun.”

“yeah.” you reply, trying to remain as chill as possible. you had to keep telling yourself that she wasn’t a villain, she was just a really nice girl who got lucky to be with suga tonight.

“y/n, what were you like in high school?” saeko asked you.

ryo, however, answered the question for you, letting out a cackle as he practically insulted you in front of the whole table. “oh, she was a total, total dork. it took her getting pretty in college for me to notice her.”

“ha! that’s hilarious!” saeko giggled, nudging suga to laugh as she thought this would work with their plan, but he didn’t find it funny whatsoever. it was completely insulting to you.

“it’s really not…” suga muttered to himself.

“where did you go to school?” ryo asked saeko.

“karasuno.” she replied instantly.

“woah… you guys had the tiny giant, didn’t you?” ryo gasped, referring to a well known former high school volleyball player. despite being at his peak, he retired after graduating high school, never once playing professionally. everyone always wondered about what could’ve been, including ryo, who was one of the many people that heard the tale of the tiny giant.

“yeah, i went to school with him.” saeko bragged. it was far from a humble brag, it was awesome.

“woah! what was he like?” ryo questioned in amazement.

“uh… tiny, i guess?” saeko shrugged. she wasn’t quite sure how to answer that question as she never knew the guy personally, just passed him in the hallways on occasion.

suddenly, the cupid shuffle blared through the speakers. nishinoya had taken over the music and started to play his own playlist, claiming the dj “sucked ass” and decided to take matters into his own hands. there wasn’t much protest as everyone began dancing together, including saeko and ryo who get up from the table and decide to join in on the dance.

suga watched the sight, glad to finally have a moment just with you, but when he turned his head to say something to you, it seemed as if you disappeared. of course, he wondered where you went off to, and decided to find you.

you stood alone, leaning your back against the railing of the boat and rubbing your hands together for warmth. it all became overwhelming for you too quickly, and you figured ryo wouldn’t notice you leaving anyway. even so, it still shocked you when suga noticed, finding you in your lonely spot.

“getting too rowdy?” he asked you.

“mhm…” you nod as you shiver a little.

“yeah, i’m not really a fan of making my ears bleed.” suga said to lighten things up. he wondered if this was a good time to admit the truth about the whole saeko thing, that it was all a set up to get your attention because he was in love with you, but before he had the chance, you blurted out something he didn’t expect out of you.

“sometimes i just don't get ryo.”

suga gulped as his eyes widened for a brief second. “oh…”

“i mean, i don't know. it’s whatever.” you shake the feeling off. why were you saying this to suga anyway? it wasn’t his burden to carry. “so... what's it like going out with tanaka’s sister?”

“oh, um...” suga struggled to answer the question. a long silence followed, making you both feel awkward. there was so many things the two of you could say to each other right now.

“i'm cold.” you say with a faint laugh before heading back to your coworkers, suga following not long after. it was easy just to ignore the unspoken tension.

•••

“how’s the booze cruise going so far?”

“kind of wish things were different right about now.” suga forced a laugh. it was clear he was in pure misery. “haha… i need a drink.”

•••

you return to the group, scanning the area. ryo was chatting it up with one of his coworkers from the warehouse, chugging drinks together and sharing a laugh. you then see kiyoko and yachi pull suga by his arm, seemingly yelling at him for reasons you weren’t sure of whatsoever. your choices of where to go were limited, so you return to your table and see saeko sitting alone with a beer. it seemed like a good idea to have a friendly chat with her.

“hey.” you sit down next to her.

“hey.” she greeted you, taking a swig of her beer bottle.

“i never really liked beer.” you say, trying to start up a conversation. whatever topic worked, you were fine with. as adults, talking about alcohol seemed like the best bet.

“oh, you don’t?” saeko questioned. “you just have to find the right brand, honestly. some taste like shit.”

“ha, yeah.” you quietly laugh and rest your face in your hand. saeko immediately noticed the ring on your finger, even if it’s lost its sparkle as the years have gone by.

“woah, nice ring.” she said in amazement.

you look at your ring, shocked by the compliment. it wasn’t anything special, but you appreciated it anyway. “oh, thank you.”

“i'd like to be engaged.” saeko sighed. “how did you manage to pull that off?”

“uh, i've been engaged for three years, and there's no end in sight, so... you don't wanna ask me for any advice.” you force a laugh. god, you‘d kill for the waiting game to finally end.

unbeknownst to you, ryo overheard what you said, and he decided that tonight was the best night to finally take some action when you least expected it.

•••

“what do you think of saeko?”

such an awkward question for the crew to ask you, don’t you think? even so, you had to answer it without making a complete fool of yourself.

“she’s nice.” you shrug. it technically wasn’t a lie, but you sure quickly pulled it out of your ass. “really pretty too. crazy to think she’s related to tanaka…”

“but what about suga taking her as his date tonight?” and there’s the stinger. you didn’t have a right to be jealous, did you?

“uh… doesn’t really matter what i think, i’d say.” you say timidly and look away from the camera.

•••

out of nowhere, ryo got ahold of the dj’s microphone, seemingly about to make an announcement. what the announcement was, you didn’t know, but you sure as hell were scared to know what it would be.

“everybody, could i have your attention for just a second? could you guys listen to me for a second?” he said into the microphone.

everyone stopped what they were doing to look at ryo. suga had a terrible feeling this wasn’t going to be any good, at least not for him.

“i was just, um…” ryo paused before he dropped the ultimate bomb in front of everyone. “y/n, i think enough is enough. i think we should set a date for our wedding. how about june tenth?”

your eyes widen in shock and you find everyone’s eyes are on you. suga swore he felt his heart drop, desperately waiting for your answer like everybody else. wasn’t this what you wanted? to finally get married? it was hard to think that this was real life. you almost wished time would just stop for a second, but the time kept ticking as you had yet to say a thing.

“well, what do you say?” ryo asked.

before you said anything, you immediately look for suga. he was supposed to be your knight in shining armor, you thought, but now when you desperately needed his saving, he was nowhere to be found. maybe this was a sign that you should say yes. after all, you said yes the first time, right?

“okay..?” you answer.

the room felt silent before everyone erupted into cheers, you the least excited person present. “she said okay!”

you’re ushered to get up and head to ryo. he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and planted a big kiss on your temple. it might as well be the most affectionate he’s been towards you in a very long time, but of course, it was when he had a large group of eyes all on him. while part of you was happy you finally began to see a light at the end of the tunnel, the other part of you felt that this was all just for show. but maybe things will be different. you always think that, but you wanted to think that it would really be different this time.

ukai hopped to you and ryo, quickly hugging you and sharing his excitement for you two. “woah, congratulations, you guys! i knew it would happen eventually!”

“did you?” you raise an eyebrow, looking back on all those past jokes about your engagement.

“uh, yes, y/n. of course, i did.” ukai replied sarcastically. he actually didn’t see this coming, but he wanted in on the attention. “now you have to let me give you away!”

“uh, no thank you.” you quickly shut the idea down. even when all the attention was on you (and your fiancé), your mind still went back to suga. he should be here celebrating with you. you wanted him here. he was your best friend, after all. “um, where’s suga?”

“i don’t know, i thought he was right—“ ukai looked around and saw he was nowhere in sight. “oh, seems he vanished.”

“i should—“ you began to say before ukai cut you off.

“no, no. i’ll go find him.” he insisted. “go celebrate!”

“yeah, okay…” you frown as you watch ukai walk away to find suga.

ukai searched around for suga for quite a bit. when he disappeared, he really took it seriously. it was like he vanished out of thin air. ukai hoped he didn’t jump off the ship or something, and luckily before he could cause a scene over a potentially missing employee, suga was found.

“hey, suga.” he said to him. “you, uh, disappeared, man. did you hear the news?”

“uh-huh. i sure did.” suga said, looking down at the deep, dark ocean, almost as dark as his heart had become after what just happened. you finally set a wedding date. it was a day suga dreaded for god knows how long. he always went back and forth wondering whether the day would actually come, but now that’s it’s here, it was a nightmare turned brutal reality.

“something wrong?” ukai asked suga.

“i just…” he paused, tempted to speak up about how he felt, but kept it to himself. “mmm, nope. it’s stupid.”

“i’m the master of stupid things. you can tell me.” ukai said.

it was just the two of them. for some reason, suga felt like he could actually confide in his boss right now. maybe telling him what was wrong wouldn’t be such a bad idea. “i just… i didn’t think they’d ever actually plan to get married.”

“who? y/n and ryo?” ukai questioned. “what, do you like her or something?”

the look on suga’s face said it all. it showed a man who was desperately in love with a woman that simply wasn’t his. it was all so clear now.

“oh my god, you like y/n.” he said, followed by a faint gasp.

suga let out a sigh. he didn’t need to say a thing, ukai just knew. it was a shock he never figured it out before, really. everyone else seemed to find out easily once suga started to slip up in his facade.

“i can’t believe i never noticed before!” ukai exclaimed. “you two are always smiling and giggling with each other, how could i be so blind? holy cow.”

“tsukishima figured it out at the christmas party.” suga said with a frown. “it’s only a matter of time before she figures it out too.”

“and is that so bad?” ukai asked. it seemed like such a simple yes or no question, but the only way suga knew how to answer it was by pouring his heart out, spewing all the things he kept shoved down his throat for the longest time. it was always bound to come up one way or another.

“ukai, it’s not that i just like her… i love her. i’m in love with everything about her. i adore her. she’s sweet, funny, and she just has this aura… i can’t describe it.” he spoke from the heart, the only way he knew how when it came to you. “she’s beautiful inside and out. i would do anything to give her the world. i worship the rain that waters the grass that grows on the ground she walks on. my heart beats louder for her than it ever has for anyone else, and…”

“and… what?” ukai questioned.

“i don’t want her to marry him. i want her to be with me.” suga cried out, covering his face with his hands out of embarrassment. how could he say something so selfish out loud? the thought felt safer in his head, but even so, he would have burst if he kept it in any longer. “god, it’s so fucking stupid. i’m such an idiot.”

suga had been suffering in silence for too long, and ukai could clearly see that. it pained him to see one of his best employees in this state of despair. “suga, if that’s how you truly feel… then don’t give up. tell her how you feel.”

“she’s engaged, ukai. i can’t.” suga shook his head no. such a prosperous thing to suggest now. it was easy to think he could reveal his feelings when he knew there wasn’t a wedding date in sight, but wouldn’t it be so silly now to beg you to cancel the wedding? he felt like a tall child with all these thoughts eating him up.

“so? engaged ain’t married.” ukai shrugged. “besides, you’re way better than ryo.”

it was weird to have ukai on his side. was he not just celebrating with you? maybe suga’s heartfelt speech gave him a change of heart, or maybe he always saw something there without truly realizing what that something was. maybe ukai always knew you deserved better than a lowlife like ryo.

“why are you saying this?” suga questioned ukai. “i thought you’d be excited about the world’s longest engagement finally reaching its end.”

“i don’t know. i just… when i look at her with ryo versus with you, i think there’s a clear winner. you two have something special, and i wouldn’t give up hope, suga.” he replied. “maybe one day you should just… take a chance and see what she says. you never know what’s going on in that mind of hers.”

“you think so?” suga asked.

ukai nodded without hesitation. “never, ever give up.”

overcome with emotion, suga suddenly decided to wrap his arms around ukai. what’s crazy was that it didn’t even feel weird. ukai may be the most insane boss ever, but no matter what, he always had his way of showing he had his employees backs. when suga needed him most, ukai was right there, telling him words he didn’t know he needed to hear, and turned out to be what he needed the most.

“okay.” suga sniffled into ukai’s shoulder, holding him tighter than before. “i won’t.”

ukai really didn’t want to ruin such a heartfelt moment, but he felt like the life was being sucked out of him. “suga, you… you��re suffocating me.”

“oh.” suga quickly let go of him. “sorry.”

“it’s okay, but don’t forget what i told you.” ukai said, gently poking where suga’s heart was. “that’s an order from your boss.”

suga thought that tonight was the end of the world, but it turned out that he still had reason to have hope. maybe ukai was just feeding his delusions, but it sure felt nice knowing someone had his back and believed in him, that his feelings weren’t foolish. besides, a lot can happen between now and june, right?

#haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu x female reader #haikyu x female reader #sugawara koushi x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi x female reader #sugawara x female reader #sugawara koushi #haikyuu x the office au 🏢#pluto writes 📝#gif divider by cafekitsune

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