#non binary advice

[charliejaneanders]

Writing any kind of story is a scary proposition, especially if it deals with personal stuff. And writing about trans people during a bogus moral panic is especially daunting -- it's easy to either pull your punches, or feel as though the burden of good trans representation weighs on your shoulders. The good news is that we are living during a time of extreme riches when it comes to trans stories, and a ton of wonderful authors are writing trans tales that defy categorization and bust through boundaries. So please write the story that speaks to you, the story that only you can tell about your own obsessions and dreams. It can be scary or funny or comforting or escapist, or all of the above — don't worry that what you write will be singled out as the One True Trans Story, or seen as a representation of all trans people. Just write your story.

Writing Trans Stories For Fun (and Liberation) --- My latest newsletter!

[transmasc-advice-blog]

ways to correct people who misgender you

for me correcting people is really hard bc i have really bad social anxiety so i made a list of ways to correct people that might be easier. (sent this to our-transmasculine-experience but i thought i’d post this here too)

my teacher misgendered me so i wrote my pronouns next to my name on a worksheet. not only did he start gendering me correctly, he also felt bad so he went easy on me for a bit (didn’t grade as harshly and called on me before other people) NOT THAT MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BAD IS GOOD

you can have a friend gender you correctly in front of the misgenderer MANY times (it takes a lot of times lol) works better if they know you and friend are close

text them

have a friend tell them

pronoun pin (didn’t work that well for me, but it did get a few people to start gendering me correctly so give it a go if you want :)

not necessarily towards the person but mention your gender like “ugh being non binary is so hard sometimes” or like “i got that tboy swag” bc that may get them thinking and they may ask you your pronouns

you can put your pronouns in your email signature

say something along the lines of “and then brenda said ‘oh yeah [your name] is so cool [your correct pronoun] said my jacket made me look pretty’” so like say your pronouns… for yourself, yk? so for me it would be “and then brenda said ‘oh yeah Vince is so cool he said my jacket made me look pretty’” idk if that makes sense

[xxx-ang3l-w1th-a-sh0tgun-xxx]

so I'm trans and want to change my name (again)!

my current chosen name is Ellis. I've been using this name for around 3ish years but I'm not sure it's the one for me anymore.

I'm looking for something masc or neutral, preferably something quite short (2-6 letters probably) OR a name that can be shortened

names I've used before: sam, miles, eden, em, el

if anyone has any suggestions I'd really appreciate it! :)

(also i was born in 2005 so a name that was kinda popular that year might sound like it fits better?)

[possibly-astraeus]

How do you gain confidence to tell ur parents that ur nonbinary and want to cut your hair and burn your dresses asking for a friend

WELL. First, make sure it's safe to do so. Then ask them, "If someone you knew wanted to go by [insert pronouns of choice here], would you respect that?"

If they say yes or something like that, give it time, a week or two, then come out. If they say no, just take some extra precautions to come out. Now, about cutting your hair shorter.

I would personally start asking "can I get my hair cut short like hers?"

[I do not know the actual pronouns of the people in the pictures below. Apologies for any accidental misgendering]

And show them a picture of a feminine looking person with the hair you want - this usually works with parents that are transphobic. If this one does not work, tell them

"Having long hair is annoying, and it makes me feel itchy, etc. Etc., can I please cut it short?"

Now for the dresses, I don't suggest burning them. Maybe donating them to a goodwill or something like that for people who actually want to wear dresses, or any other clothes you don't want.

The MOST IMPORTANT PART‼️‼️‼️

if you know for a FACT that it's not safe to come out, please take extra precautions to stay safe! I know it's not the best feeling to be misgendered all day, but if it keeps you safe and somewhere to stay until you're able to move out, then I wish you luck.

Now, please understand I'm not the best at giving advice, so please ask around for other people to help you as well.

Now take these and stay safe, I love you!!!

[pessimisticgh0st]

when/how did you realize you were nb? are you out to anyone?

I realised I was non-binary in late 2022. To be honest, it took me a long time to come to terms with it, mainly because of self-doubt and I was just very confused and didn't want to label myself as anything.

But during that time, I saw a lot of posts about being nb, where people were talking about their experiences and things they that helped them realise they were nb and I related to a lot of it (though if you are questioning your gender identity, and don't feel like you 'fit in' with the experiences of other people or you experience different things, know you are still valid and everyone's gender identity and journey is unique and special and everyone goes about it differently and thinks differently. No one can tell you who you are).

I mainly realised that I was nb because I felt uncomfortable with the general society's rigid view of stereotypical male and female roles in life and I didn't like how loads of people perceived me. I also just felt better being unlabeled and when expressing myself in a more androgynous or masculine way.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure that I am non-binary, I just prefer to think of myself as existing in whatever state that I am in now. For me, it's sort of like the lines are all blurred and I'm just weaving in and out of them, if that makes sense.

To answer your second question, I'm not out to many people, only a select few. Tumblr is the only social media where I have felt comfortable enough to have my pronouns displayed and only a few people irl know that I am non-binary. Some that I've told forget and don't really refer to me as such but I don't really correct them, and I'm not out to my family as of yet either.

[sensible-tips]

Mindful Monday

Healthy relationships involves mutual respect, reciprocity, boundaries and compromise. If you find yourself constantly disappointed in your relationship, it may be time to check in with yourself and evaluate your own expectations for said relationship.

[sapphicslut777]

today is by far the worst day post op (4 days po).. i’ve been sobbing since 7:30 in the morning. everything hurts and everything itches. i’m running out of guaze/abdominal pads already. i’m so constipated that wearing my binder hurts my stomach. and i’m overall terrified every time i have to wash and touch my incisions. i feel like i’m an absolute nightmare for the person taking care of me. i really just want to crawl into a hole and die there.

[blackbeardsslutstrands]

How do you know if you like mlm in the way that men like wlw or you get gender envy from them and want to love a dude the way another dude would? Asking for a friend…

[lostinthepost]

Accidentally affirmed my urge to be masculine a little too good and I am now having dysphoria about being masculine.👍

[myreblogssss]

i think i might be nonbinary. but it's like I don't know. I know all my life about 90% of the time I like pants and baggier tops and do nothing with my hair thats riduclously long but im not allowed to cut, i dont wear makeup, and a few times ive manipulated old tight tanktops to bind and holy shit...i love it.

but then its like theres that 10% of the time when i get all done up and its like a coustume but i look like a girl and im wearing a dress and i bust out the makeup and its like idk i dont like it all the time buts its fun to pretend.

im okay with being called she. theres a few people who know im a lesbian and have just decided to call me they/them because they dont want to ask and i feel so happy when they do but its like im not like completly aginst she as a pronoun. i dont know. any advice?

[your-queer-dad]

How to bind safety in hot weather!

advice from your queer dad

- drink lots of water! I don't wanna see any of you suckers dehydrated, especially if you bind!!

- if you feel any stabbing or aching pain, take a break and take it off

- as well as this, if you feel too hot or short of breath, take a break and take it off

- bathroom stalls are great for binder breaks because it's private

- wash your binders!! Please!!! It can cause real skin problems, for some advice on washing it go here

- try and wear outfits that will keep you cool, yes I know dysphoria sucks but you know what sucks worse than dysphoria? Heat stroke

- don't wear it for more than 8 hours. Don't do it.

- personally, I've found that a darker coloured binder (black, navy) is better because if you through a button up on top, bam! It just looks like a tank top

- stretches! God, stretches help so much- there's a lot out of there, do some research and see what helps you

Stay cool and have fun kids! Remember hydrate don't diedrate. Take care of yourselves.

[xemnote]

People who got top surgery (or I guess any type of gender affirming surgery), I need help!

I'm non-binary and I have 0 clue what to give for evidence of "living in my gender" for x amount of years.

The best I have is screenshots from online asking people to use my new pronouns and different places I have my pronouns written.

Does having Mx written on letters count? I also so far have no intention of changing my name so I can't use that as evidence.

I'm stressing out so much and I don't know what to do. I just want to get my tits deleted, why is that so hard.

[devastator1775]

I need a bit of advice since I'm not used to writing NB characters. I am writing a fic where a character uses she/they pronouns (and implied trans but not outrightly stated per se(for now)).

Can I still use terms like 'girl' and 'daughter'? Can they still refer to themselves as female?

Just asking to make it as realistic as possible ....despite the fact that it's about robots....

[livingthewritelife-things]

If I can offer a piece of writing advice:

If you are writing a character who uses singular they/them pronouns and is taking to a group of people, you need to make very clear who is the singular person and who is the group.

Because otherwise you have, they (singular person) curled their lip when they saw them (the group). And that can be confusing!

[bandofchimeras]

more unsolicited advice for poor girls & queer & trans kids: - do NOT MARRY THE UPPER CLASS GUY FOR STABILITY and confuse it for love. - do NOT have his children without a PRENUP & a childcare & custody agreement set up in advance. - you ARE marrying your in-laws. if they look down on you and see you as unworthy of their son, it WILL impact you and any children you have. - re kids: you are making an economic decision. raising children is a full-time job. ensure you are being adequately compensated. - if you can help it, NEVER mask your queerness for this kind of "getting stable" relationship - it will just stunt you late into your midlife and give you a lotta baggage to work through. -usually rich/upper class guys have emotional problems they will feel it is part of your agreement to tolerate & accommodate. be aware, pay attention to red flags or warnings from friends as you are entering an economically dependent position.

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is!

_______________________________________________ Stay safe, and remember if you find yourself being financially, emotionally, or physically abused, there is help out there! Domestic Violence Hotline for US: 800-799-7233 An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Stay smart, remember your worth, stay connected to a community of equals...and FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE is key!

[themostfinalofpams]

I have quite a lot of chest dysphoria and I think I’d like to finally get a binder, however, I’m a DDD cup. Are there any reasonably priced brands that would fit me? I need something on the inexpensive side in case binding bothers me for sensory reasons and I end up not wearing it often. (I’m also curious about trans tape, but I have hiperhydrosis and I’m not sure if it would stay sticking for me)