#not to say you can never talk about your struggles since the education system is broken and rarely does anyone win!!!

[heaven-dope]

this is a gifted kid-free blog/j

[yunarim]

Can I please request Leona and Malleus finding out that the fem!reader is a princess back in her world and she never told them?

★﹒﹒TELL ME PRINCESS now when did you last let your heart decide

「 ☆ synopsis 」 — leona and malleus finding out that reader is a princess back in her world 「 ☆ tags 」 — female reader (she/her), book 2 spoilers, mentions of book 5 (very slight mention of VDC), implied strict education that reader received in her world

— ✧ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

He suspected it from the start, right from the day you ended up transmigrating into Twisted Wonderland. Your posture and the look your eyes possess told him you’re not just as unremarkable as someone could say. 

Leona doesn’t have time to observe you but when you two cross your paths, he notices something in the way you tilt your head in a greeting way. 

The more he talks to you, the more he notices how different you are compared to other students whose roots have nothing to do with royal blood. He figured it out himself while you two were having a chat regarding the political system in Afterglow Savannah and he noticed how knowledgeable you were. 

He wondered if you received proper education at first since the way you talked about how women are treated in your world wasn’t familiar to him. What do you mean princesses in your world are usually used as a political instrument and get married against their will? That is also the first time he wonders how you would perform if you would become part of the Kingscholar family and you teasingly ask him what made him grin so proudly.

Final round of realizing and making a conclusion came when you mentioned VDC and told him you’re assisting Vil with teaching first years how to dance. Leona just smirked and said that it’s obvious you’re the one who helps him. You asked him what he meant by that and he said it’s quite obvious by now that you belong to a royal family. 

You became more open about what concerns you in the princess training system, education, correcting your attitude all the time… Leona let you speak out, accepting all your struggles. You can be free around him, he doesn’t mind you being you. 

He doesn’t want to put any pressure on you but one day just mentions you would be a perfect match with how he comes from a family where women are respected and you possess royal status, coming from another dimension. 

You being a princess doesn’t change his opinion about you or doesn’t correct his behavior around you, actually there’s nothing that could stop him from sleeping on your lap. And you finally can catch a break and be yourself, not caring about your status.

— ✧ MALLEUS DRACONIA

It takes a while for Malleus to realize. He doesn’t communicate with human royalty, let alone humans in general. Your first encounter seems normal to him and he thinks of you as someone extremely polite. 

You can tell he belongs to royalty the very first second you see him outside of Ramshackle, but decide to fool around just a little, guessing how long it would take for him to realize. 

Malleus asks you if all the humans in your world are this polite and knowledgeable or is it just you. You grin mysteriously, letting him decide, enjoying the tea you brew. Malleus often mentions how frightened you would be if you find out who he is, but you don’t really seem to care about his status, which is surprising to him. Child of man, you seem to possess no fear. 

During late night strolls you often take with Malleus, he talks about gargoyles and you seem to eagerly ask him more questions about them. One day he asked how royal families work in your world, and he was puzzled at first. Humans are strange creatures, indeed… 

The first time he questioned your lineage was when he asked what children of man do in their free time. A quick bewildered glance you throw at him was enough to say you’re just as confused as he is. You chuckled softly, answering with something vague and common. 

It’s Lilia who tells him that you most definitely belong to royalty in your world. Malleus's eyes widens and he’s eager to know why he came to such a conclusion and Lilia casually drops that people don’t usually salute each other with a curtsy or at least a bow. 

Next day Malleus asks you if you’re not opposed to the idea of dancing with him since the weather is quite nice, and the starry sky is absolutely magnificent. You accept without any objections, and he notices how naturally you waltz. 

By the time the waltz ends, he doesn’t want to let you go and asks you if you belong to a royal family, meeting with your soft giggle. “Took you long to realize” you say, nodding to him politely. 

It’s not like he’s being friends with many humans, so there’s no actual difference between how you communicated before he realized and now. The only thing that changed is that now he invites you to Briar Valley with more confidence than before. Don’t get him wrong, he’s absolutely in love with you (even if he hasn’t realized it yet), but he wonders if you would be okay with encountering Briar Valley’s customs and, of course, his grandmother. 

He’s not pressuring (it’s more likely Lilia who wants to see you two finally ending up dating), but he finds himself thinking about what a great queen you would become, ruling Briar Valley with him before he falls asleep, awaiting your next meeting.

© yunarim 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧.

[faerunsbest]

Gonna project as someone who kins Rolan but also went to CC first then transferred to university and dealt with a lot of crap there despite being a good student:

- I need him to get a full ride to Blackstaff/some other prestigious university after he graduates from CC.

- I need him to witness his instructors talking shit about CC students, only to stfu when they realize he (top of the class) came from a CC

- I need him to criticize classes at Blackstaff because being a prestigious wizard doesn’t mean they’re a good teacher, nor does it mean their classes are better. His teachers at CC cared more about the students.

- I need him to fiercely criticize the education system and go on to be an instructor himself, perhaps at the same CC (although he did get an offer from Blackstaff; he wants to go somewhere that believes in students like him)

(I really really really like this AU. Also yay community college rep.)

listen buddy pal sonny jim jam , my frand. you are in my brainfolds because these are part of the reason i like this au to begin with. side note, hope your ready i have me a wine glass and i am ready to ramble on.

*erhem*

Let it be known that Rolan for better or worse is not to be underestimated, he is absolutely a force to be reckoned with. He is also starved for affection and care and this is ludicrously true for him as he leaves him family behind to attend school.

i can see him becoming a monster if left entirely alone and surrounded by people who hate and belittle him, thats why i made sure he has one friend at school. Just the one.

Thats fine because its a very middle of the road guy who is massively bored with the people around him because hes just so used to people being disingenuous and mediocre in quality. Hes literally amazed when he sees Rolan's study habits in the library, Rolan is the only person he's ever seen actually use the libraries book wheel.

he even stumbled across Rolans practice session while skipping classes and just HAD to know how he did it, was this 1st year modifying spells!? Hes curious guy and Rolan appreciates his honest interest as well as how much this guy also dislikes people.

Rolan is probably the only student doing quite so well who is also fiscally responsible for himself entirely after the 1st semester. It matters to him to know that he's doing this for himself. However having help is appreciated and in all honesty is very motivating for him. The way Ma'na has no idea what the books are about as shes reading them out loud to him while he works. Since her shift ends earlier than his she hangs out with him any way she can.

it means the world that she just wants to be with him and after the heartbreak that was trying to be reasonable and keep her at a distance, hes just never letting go again.

All of this to say, Rolan could be the number one student by himself but he might struggle to keep that spot if he ran himself ragged and became embittered to it all. With these two in his corner hes able to vent and be cared for, a loved rolan is a strong Rolan. With these two by him hes able to be at such a high standard there's really no contest between himself and the others.

Those other students will see what it means to come up from the bottom.

I want more than anything for the fact that hes a tiefling be forgotten or not mentioned as Blackstaff offers him a full ride, let him listen in the lobby while the receptionist and secretary speak shameless racist filth about him without knowing that dean of the school personally selected him and pulled every string to bring him there. When 'Rolan' is called out and he stands up, he gets to watch the color spill out of their pores. In the interview it becomes apparent that the dean also didn't know what he was, it doesn't matter enough to him.

Rolan is so angry about it all, he for all intensive purposes speedruns his classes, all the while he send letters every week. Now there's so many to send, separate letters to his siblings and mother, one for his friend and the heaviest for Ma'na.

When being handed his diploma his the Dean is all smiles shaking his hand.

"It feels like we've learned so much from you in such a short time, astounding."

Rolan's brow sets in a deep leer, lip curling as he sets his fingertips around the scroll of fanciful paper.

"I'm glad someone learned something in my time here."

Its only then right then, that the dean realized never once had this man been challenged, he studied entirely separate books form the class. If he was honest he was probably more educated than many of the staff, it didn't hurt that he also had a variety of field experience to go with it. the thought falls away as Rolan turns to leave

"Yes, clearly you're already an excellent teacher. Why not stay and teach more fine students like yourself. after all what better school Blackstaff!"

Rolan pauses midstep to speak without looking back, the auditorium full of watchers.

"No matter how beautiful the porcelain, a chamber pot is still full of shit."

"excuse me!?"

"Your staff is lackluster your students entitled little shits with no drive or ambition- but the building is lovely. Don't worry yourself, I'm going back where I belong, a job has been waiting since I left."

After his quite publicized speech, which was in fact printed in several papers Rolan takes himself and his family (which includes his now fiance) on a much needed vacation. They get to visit other more lovely places before going back to the community college that couldn't wait to have him when he first showed up.

Today was the day 4 copies of a key were made, to a home he had purchased with Ma'na, so his mother wouldn't have to work anymore. So cal and Lia could have a real chance at life. Today he kissed his wife good bye for the day and went off for his 1st day as a professor, having requested to work specifically with trouble students.

Right now before the doors where open to students he stood in the center of his classroom, his class and took a deep breath. This, the same room where he had auditioned to attend. He could still remember the way they gasped for him, no one cared about red skin and horns. They only saw the way he rolled his wrist to make the spells work, they saw his elegance.

They saw him.

[jaymesyourplaything]

Unsure why Dump is insisting I didn't tell him Blurry is a character. Jay didn't know we blocked each other. Once Jay found out, she stopped responding to Dump as Jim too. Crazy concept, that. Respect.

Granted, I was extremely high and struggling to apologize for mistaking Dump for a rp blog. I would never purposefully harass a real person.

i'm only posting this because no one has ever asked if we had DID before. not until we told john about our dissociative disorder, though at the time we weren't diagnosed yet. we said we because there's just two of us modding the account, but also we said "we" when referring to us and the character, too. since this all happened dump has shown they don't have a great grasp on what DID is, so excuse their constant confusion on the subject.

other general confusion should be excused too because i had a stroke trying to read that too. but also yeah, i didn't realize at first, though some people are okay talking to me if they don't want to talk to kin. i get sad because i don't know what YOU DID SOMETIMES but it's not like i'm much better than you. there are people that don't like me but like kin too. then there's people that want nothing to do with either, and uh, i mean that's fine too.

i would like to point out that not wanting to be friends with someone because they're in a system is usually fine, if someone in the system is problematic or has dome something. (reminder that from their perspective i messaged them to slur them and then "act ignorant". of course they don't like me lol ) i love and appreciate my friends who is apparently 1 person in multiple coats (even though i'm the one who introduced them lol ) and love that they want to support and defend me, but i do find it beneficial to ignore people. it's lovely to want to educate them, but remember it's not your job. john was never interested in learning about DID and it's best to let him throw his tantrum over there, and if dump wants to learn they can too. i just don't think they are lol best to leave them to it ig but thank you ily.

and thank you (to general people kin is not supportive of me ever LOL ) for well wishes after john "doxed" me, i'm not sure why he did that still, because it doesn't add to the conversation. kin and i don't really talk about it on our mains nor would we really have to when i made a mod account to talk about it on. i don't keep them hidden because i have something to hide, i just didn't mention them because they were irrelevant? just like john saying kin and jay are the same person, i think he's just deflecting. ignore it lol thanks

[strikersexhaver]

Alright, I’ll bite. How about both sfw and nsfw headcannons for Striker dating a trans masc AFAB with autism and ADHD, and who often struggles with anxiety, gender dysphoria and sometimes dissociation? (If it helps to know, I often cope through stimming with rubbing soft/smooth textures and with pressure stims such as hugs/squeezes and weighted blankets). Make it as long or as short you need to, anything that you can come up with for Striker dealing with/reacting to these things I’d be interested in reading. (For the sake of my own comfort though, say I have top surgery, refer to the naughty bits as a cock/dick, and only use he/him pronouns for the reader) I hope this isn’t too much to ask!

Also…god damn I am addicted to this man’s voice and I wish he could just vibrate my entire body with his rumbles and snake sounds gkdnfkdndn

To be fair… Me too, me too 😭😭… I love his voice, both voices are amazing to me. And also sure, I can do this! I have autism so I can put some firsthand experience in here as well !! Plus, my brother is trans, I used to take care of him during his transition.

CW for NSFW under the ‘read more’ cut!

Personally, Striker didn’t think or care much about you being trans.

Don’t get him wrong- he supports and loves you but he doesn’t really care about gender. He mostly sees you for you, and your strength-

He does respect the courage of coming out, or being bold with it since-

In Hell there’s more than a just a little amount of assholes lurking around.

He’ll be right by your side if you ever wanted him to fight for you or deal with dipshits.

Back on track though, he would help you in transitioning if you asked- via HRT shots, helping you afford the surgeries required to make you feel comfortable in your own body.

When he sees how you looked like when everything healed, he’ll say you’re sexier than ever.

(If you were an imp, he’d help paint your horns to be the more thick black and white lines like other men imp, if you wanted that of course)

Now as for relating to things like autism and ADHD, you’d have to explain a lot to him. Because I highly doubt Hell has a good educational system about mental health.

He enjoys hearing you talk, about this or fixations little or larger ones like hyper-fixations. He likes your voice, regardless of how it may be.

(Also- if you stopped wanting to take HRT for a while and you had a voice drop, he’d be mad confused)

But for other things such as flooding, he’d try to calm you down in the best way he could without stimulating you further.

As for meltdowns, he doesn’t know how to deal with them. He really does not, so he gives you space. At least on the first time, if it bothered you and you came to him on what to do when it happened again, he’d listen.

He’s not going to be the best, but he’s never gonna lay a hand on you during this state.

Speaking of, if you had certain sensory issues with touch- he’d be mindful to check to see if you’re up for physical contact.

He will mess up, sometimes forgetting entirely, but that’s only after a long day of killing and shooting.

He’d learn how to not just tap your shoulder for your attention, like waving a hand in front of you or tapping the table you were sitting at or anything really.

If you had certain tastes in exact textures or clothes that’d make you more comfortable, he’d try getting a few to make you feel better- same for weighted blankets once he learns of them.

He’s not afraid to steal for you if you needed it-

As for sound related issues, if for example you had an issue with metal scraping metal. He’d take you to a different area. If it was from him, he’d take it somewhere else where you cannot hear.

To be honest, if you brought it up saying you wished you had something to shut things out or turn out the noise.

He’d absolutely- 100% get you noise cancelling headphones, if they were expensive- fuck it, he’ll steal it- he’s not above murder so why would he be above stealing? He lives to see that joyful smile on your face- even if it’s for a brief second before you return to your resting face.

He knows you loved it, it boosts his ego and gives him a serotonin boost.

As for anxiety, if it was social anxiety and you didn’t like speaking up to others- this mf will do it for you, he has no problem, he loves talking.

Now to NSFW, Striker he still loves talking- not as much, but if you’re into it you’ll be hearing a lot of praise.

He’ll give masculine nicknames like ‘Good boy~’ if you were into that, if not he’ll stop.

But knowing firstly knowing his voice, you don’t and probably won’t tell him to stop.

Also- speaking of stopping, previously going to back to boundaries. He’d ask you firmly what you did not want him to do or not, gender-related or not.

He’ll experiment with you, trying to see if you’d prefer being a top or a bottom. Because some people prefer having roles that suit / fit their gender identity.

(A/N at least from my perspective, some people do! Not everyone ofc)

(Striker will always try to be the dom though- regardless-)

(A/N) Hope it was good! Please let me know how it is, I’m always open to critique and sorry the NSFW part was so short I simply couldn’t think of much! I’m not trans (depending on how you see nb people DJSNHA) well- ftm, but if I did or said anything wrong or wrote anything wrong let me know!

Also, requests are open!

[marinetteocean]

Part 11

With Hunter's comforting smile, Amity took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

Waiting for an abomination to open the door, Amity was shocked to see her father.

Her father was the one who opened the door.

"Mittens!"

"Dad!" she shouted and give him a tight hug.

He spoke with tears flowing from his eyes "Titan l can't believe you actually find a way back! Twins will be so surprised and happy to see you."

"lt's funny but l missed them like crazy." said Amity and pulled back to end the hug.

While Hunter was looking at this cute moment with happiness, another voice came from behind.

"Even if you hadn't found a way, we would have found you anyway." said Darius and approached.

"We were just making a portal door that could be used at any time thanks to the collector." added Alador.

"We were just able to make it for a one way trip." said Amity.

"Hunter are you okay too right?" asked Alador.

"Yes, thank you for asking Mr.Blight."

"You're really looking way better than the last time l see you" said Darius while smiling.

"Thank you, l must admit l had great time at the human realm but l also missed here." said Hunter.

Amity pulled her father inside to leave alone the two shy guys who can't say they missed each other.

After a few silent moments during which they both struggled to speak, Darius spoke.

"Hunter, while you were in the human realm l thought about something. l don't know whether you want or not but l have an offer to ask. Would you want to live with me?"

"Me? Living with you?"

"Yeah l know it sounds weird-"

"No, no not weird! l would be so happy to live with you!" said Hunter cheerfully.

"Well then, it settled."

At the same time, Amity asked a question to her dad. "What will you do, if you won't do some kind of weapons?"

"Well...l want to invent new things that will help people and make their life easier. Maybe l can continue to make self-defend weapons too."

"lt sounds nice, if you let me, sometimes l can help you too."

Alador looked thoughtful for a moment and then spoke "lf you just want it to spend time with me, l can make you sure l will spend a lot of time with you and the twins"

"Well just not because of that but it would've be a reason too. lt's a nice thing you think that, dad. lt's surprising. You are really trying, l see now."

Alador approached to her and hold her hands. "I'm aware of my mistakes and l made a promise to make it up for you and the twins. I'm sorry l wasn't by your side when you needed."

"l forgive you dad."

"Thank you sweetheart."

"Seeing you as a father is odd." said Darius as they walked in.

"l have three children Darius, get used to it."

Amity and Hunter looked at each other and grinned.

"By the way kids, everyone will come here in the evening and we will have dinner together. There are things we must talk about." said Darius.

"Like what?" asked Hunter

"Let me guess, what will be the new management system, what will education be like if the coven system is abolished, how will those who help the emperor be tried..." said Amity.

"Actually these are some of the topics, so yeah." said Darius.

He studied Amity's appearance and turned to Alador. "l've never seen her before, have l?"

"No, just the twins but it was a long time ago. Actually Amity is the one you would definitely like, she also uses Abomination magic and pretty good at it."

Hearing such praise from her dad for the first time in her life, Amity didn't know what to feel, and since it was spoken in front of the coven head of Abomination magic, she had no choice but to try not to tear up.

"Yeah she is. You remember the Eclipse Lake disaster, it was a disaster for Kikimora because of Amity." added Hunter. He remembered Kikimora's faces color at that day and laughed.

ln that moment, Amity made a promise to herself to praise Hunter in the best way possible when the time came.

"One day l would like to see what you can. And l like your hair color, not green at least." said Darius to her.

"Thank you Mr. Deamonne and l would like to show you what l'm capable of too." said Amity trying to look cool with all her strength.

"So who wants to see the portal under construction?" asked Alador.

"Me!"

[talkingpointsusa]

The dating market as seen through the eyes of a complete psychopath

Well folks, I've been seeing a lot of talk in right-wing media about a "dating crisis" sweeping America recently. Naturally they have the citations to back this up, those citations being random videos that they found on TikTok. So I figured we'd take a look at one of the guys talking about this epidemic and see what's going on here, lets get into it.

02:10, Matt Walsh: "In what has become something of a monthly tradition on social media, two videos have gone viral featuring young women distraught over their inability to find a man who they consider worthy of their time. A week ago it was this woman expressing her deep frustrations over this video, listen."

I figured who would be a better fit to educate us on this pressing issue than Matt Walsh? He's famous for being a guy who lets trans people live rent free in his head and works at a platform that restores your virginity the minute you open their website, surely he can tell us all we need to know about the dating scene.

Jokes aside, Matt Walsh citing some random woman's TikTok video as proof that the dating market has been ruined by women having professional lives is peak Daily Wire journalism.

Matt plays the TikTok and then tells on himself a little bit.

04:16, Matt Walsh: "Even though I may be, infamously, a Grinch whose heart is three times too small. Even I will say that I truly feel bad for this young lady and the loneliness she's experiencing. You'd have to be a sociopath to not feel bad for her and despite popular misconceptions I am not a sociopath."

Golly, I wonder what gave people that idea about you Matt. Guess that will just have to remain a mystery for the time being.

04:39, Matt Walsh: "She says that she's worked on herself, she's done everything she can to make herself desirable. Part of the problem of course is that some of the things she highlights will have no effect either way on making her more desirable to men. For instance, no man cares whether a woman is successful or independent. Like, there has never been a man in the history of the world who has left a first date and said 'Wow, she's great. She's so successful and independent'. Those are just not characteristics that a man is looking for, they certainly won't be at the top of his list."

Ok, Matt Walsh dating tip number one is "If you are a female be submissive to your male partner at any cost. They're not looking for success and independence after all". Nothing messed up there. If you think this is a distortion of Matt's words, I would like to point you towards a blog post he made in 2014 entitled "Your husband doesn’t have to earn your respect". Quote;

"This doesn’t mean that a man has a license to be lazy, or abusive, or uncaring. He is challenged to live up to the respect his wife affords him. If his wife parcels out her respect on some sort of reward system basis, the husband has nothing for which to strive. As the respect diminishes, so too does his motivation to behave respectably. Respect is wielded like a ransom against him, and he grows more isolated and distant all the while."

Basically, if you are a female and your husband is abusing you it's actually your fault because you weren't respecting him enough. A lot of his comments recently, including the one I just quoted above, show that Matt Walsh's views haven't changed that much since then. Matt plays another TikTok of a woman lamenting her relational struggles, recaps the TikTok for some reason and then decides to present more "evidence".

08:14, Matt Walsh: "Now, it's not just women having these problems obviously. In fact, one guy replied to this last video with his own story."

Matt Walsh should never be allowed to comment on things like the minimum wage again after this episode. The reason I say this is because it's becoming glaringly clear to me that Matt's job is just watching TikTok, reading the comments under those TikTok's and attempting to turn those videos and comments into a coherent argument.

09:10, Matt Walsh: "Now, by now we're all familiar with the statistics which we've talked about on the show many times. Fewer young adults are in relationships, few are getting married, few are having kids, more of them are remaining single than ever before while people of all ages report record levels of loneliness."

It is true that we are experiencing a loneliness epidemic but the causes for this are a lot more complicated than what Matt Walsh thinks they are. According to an article written by psychology professor Susan Dugan for the University Of Denver, a lot of it is caused by people unable to manage their work-life balance and increased reliance on social media. Due to the increased reliance on social media, especially because of the COVID-19 pandemic, a lot of people have became overly reliant on things like texting as opposed to seeing people in person.

Dugan also writes that one of the biggest things causing the loneliness epidemic is an overly-work oriented culture and people using their spare time to get more work done as opposed to spending time forming meaningful relationships. Now, I wonder what Matt Walsh, a guy who thinks that social security should be abolished and that the best solution to a low minimum wage is to "just stop being on the minimum wage", would have to say about dismantling a workplace culture focused around toxic productivity.

09:26, Matt Walsh: "A Pew analysis published in 2021 found that nearly 40% of adults between the ages of 25 and 54 are quote on quote unpartnered. And by that they mean these are people that are living without a spouse or a live in boyfriend or girlfriend."

If Matt actually did some research into what he's talking about instead of just skimming hed's and dek's he'd find the percentage of single Americans looking for a relationship or casual dates has decreased massively since 2019 with 58% reporting that they aren't interested in a relationship or even casual dating. Also, 40% is a scary number that Matt can use to freak out his audience but it's still the minority but I guess that's something that Matt's just going to ignore because his main solution is "just get married" (despite marrying young statistically leading to divorce but we'll get to that).

10:05, Matt Walsh: "So, what's going on? Um, there are several major factors, some of them I've discussed before but lets lay them out again in one list."

I can help Matt Walsh by compiling some of the things he's discussed in the past into a helpful list.

Factor #1: We don't just force people to marry each other

Factor #2: We don't force sixteen year old girls to get married because that's when they're "technically most fertile"

10:15, Matt Walsh: "First of course, many people are just waiting too long to get serious about getting married. The lie that my generation was sold and that the next generation after mine was also sold is that your 20's, the first decade of adulthood, is a time to be aimless and lazy and selfish and focused primarily on recreation and pleasure."

What universe is Matt Walsh even living in? Most people in their 20's are either in college or are looking for work, often due to them having to pay off large amounts of student debt from said college. If Matt wants more people to get married and have kids at a young age than he should support things like student debt relief that help make that lifestyle more affordable for young people.

According to a 2023 survey, 73% of Gen Z and millennial couples say that getting married is simply too expensive in todays economy.

Ok, so Matt Walsh factor #1 is pretty stupid if you do even the most basic research like "actually meeting somebody in their 20's". Matt's second point is that there are too many choices, fair enough, that's probably the most respectably true thing he's said this entire episode and society would be better off if Matt would just quit while he's ahead and end the video here. His third point though is just "why don't we just put traditional gender roles from the 50's back?!"

12:33, Matt Walsh: "And third, at a much deeper level, people are very confused and we've lost the basic understanding of what dating is for in the first place. Worse, we've lost any understanding of what men and women are for and what our roles are supposed to be. If we even talk about roles as it relates to men and women it's considered outrageous and offensive somehow."

So, a very verbose way of saying "get back in the kitchen", got it. Should I be taking notes for this?

13:08, Matt Walsh: "Think again about that woman in the first video highlighting her professional achievements. If she understood what men wanted she would instead highlight herself as a kind and affectionate woman who knows how to cook and take care of her man."

You thought I was exaggerating in that last bit of text didn't you?

14:09, Matt Walsh: "Four, this may be the biggest factor but the institutions that once facilitated matchmaking have completely broken down. Have been mostly abandoned or have simply stopped performing those functions."

Citation needed there Matt, no you can't cite your feelings.

14:21, Matt Walsh: "How were people matched up in the past? Well, for most of history families would arrange the matches. That's no longer the case, at least not in the west."

So, Matt still wants arranged marriages to be a thing in America, cool. In a strange stroke of coincidence, arranged marriages would strip women of their autonomy and right to choose which is what Matt was oh so subtly hinting at wanting in factor #3 and has historically espoused wanting even more blatantly in the past. Probably a coincidence.

14:30, Matt Walsh: "And so if the families not doing it, well churches used to play a major role in connecting young people with each other but most young people don't even go to church regularly so that no longer happens."

Yes Matt, that's why cultures that don't practice Christianity are sterile cultures where nobody marries ever. Seriously, we went from kind of stupid to misogynistic to extremely stupid (and still misogynistic) in the span of five minutes.

By the way, Matt Walsh met his wife on eHarmony so his stupid ass argument doesn't even apply to his own lived experience. But yeah, everyone else can only meet women through the church and arranged marriages.

14:38, Matt Walsh: "And if you don't have the family or the church, you've cut out the two institutions that used to be primarily in charge of this kind of thing, you've thrown them out then who's helping single people find each other? The workplace was sort of the third option and never the best place to facilitate romantic relationships but now it's even worse. HR regulations make it a risky proposition for a man to try to initiate any kind of romantic relationship with a co-worker and with more and more people working from home your co-workers may be thousands of miles away in any case."

So, the only alternative to church and arranged marriages is for men to sexually harass women in the workplace. Too bad those pesky HR regulations get in the way of that.

Ok, I’ve had enough “learning” from Matt Walsh for one lifetime.

Conclusion:

Well, that's was the stupidest take on the dating market that I've ever heard. I'm starting to realize that "What is a Woman?" might have actually been a genuine question because Matt Walsh clearly has no idea what women want outside of "they should be my personal slave".

I guess the takeaways here are that women don't understand their "roles" well enough and that the only possible places to meet a partner are the church and arranged marriages.

Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

Original Video:

“Ep. 1373 - Why the Modern Dating Scene Is a Nightmare.” The Daily Wire.

Sources:

Dugan, Susan. “Psychology Professor on the “Loneliness Epidemic” — and How to Counter It.” Arts, Humanities & Social Sciences, 27 June 2023.

Gelles-Watnick, Risa. “Roughly Six-In-Ten Single Adults in the U.S. Say They Are Not Looking for a Relationship or Dates.” Pew Research Center, 7 Feb. 2023.

Gelles-Watnick, Risa. “For Valentine’s Day, 5 Facts about Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, 8 Feb. 2023.

Nathan. Gen Z & Millennial Survey on Marriage and Living Together - New Statistics 2023. 23 June 2023.

[incarnateirony]

Every time a conservative yells about giving kids hormones or "lifelong medicalization", my first question is to ask how many women in their life are on BCP, since what age, and how many due to being sexually active vs offsetting individual medical situations of varying severity.

Here's a hint: about all of them, since puberty. And many then struggle with obesity and blood pressure their whole life regardless of choices, activity, or diet.

They really struggle with that one.

(before tumblr tumblrs all over this post, I am not saying to restrain BCP, I'm just pointing out the two faced irony going on here, bc they then turn around and feed their kids BCP without seeing the irony or looking for other alternatives.)

This is a sticking point with me as someone born with intersex attributes that, as normal the system plugged me full of estrogen over, causing--well, lifelong medicalization, obesity, and blood pressure issues while fear mongering my 13 year old ass insisting I'd want a chance to be breedable, essentially, even when I said that didn't matter, insisting about Later In Life choices. When there were plenty of other options never presented or considered. And, since making educated decisions as an adult, I essentially de-transitioned from my literally assigned gender and immediately began falling into normal weight, normal blood pressure, and generally improved health while now kicking water uphill to get hormone therapy in the opposite direction.

Hormones in one situation to these people are Right And Good, but when it's outside of their understanding it is The Devil.

"It's for medical reasons!!"

oh, fuckin. worm???????????????

No seriously, I literally wonder Who I Would Be if I didn't have 20 years of estrogen shoved up my ass by people who convinced me I needed it, since even without T I already pass as a man now after a few years off of it, just with some floppy deflated parts I'm going to have to eventually get removed, that probably wouldn't be there otherwise.

Literally last week, had a guy bitching at me about his wife thinking he's cheating on her, yelling "I DONT EVEN TALK TO NO WOMEN, DO YOU SEE ME TALKING TO ANY WOMEN??????????" and I'm just like. well, glad i pass. no i'm about as close as it gets guy brb gonna get my groceries [wanders back past half an hour later and this dude been thinking about it half an hour] "be real with me dude are you a dude or a chick" [pulls out id] this is whats confusing you *dude looks between* NAW MAN NAW.

Go to the gas station to buy cigs the other day. Can I see your ID. Scans it. ID is five years old and female, still get Thanks Man. lmfao

[polyfragcultureis]

is polyfragmentation possible once trauma occurs you're older than 9 (when the "window for DID formation is closing") since your brain is already prone to splitting? ive never heard of this before

"the trauma that usually results in polyfragmentation is usually described as severe and sadistic and starts from an extremely young age (0-5?)" (from this post https://www.tumblr.com/polyfragcultureis/720980603344994304/)

but i have heard about the former...? or at least not really specified its usually just worded as "trauma occurs to one alter that causes them to form a system". oh well. anything helps because this is hard to research

heyo! the ending of this ask sort of confuses me tbh, because it sounds like you're talking about subsystems and not polyfragmentation itself with the "trauma occurs to one alter that causes them to form a system." subsystems can split and occur at any age, we have subsystems who have been around since the initial trauma and we also have a possible subsystem who only formed 3-4 years ago during ongoing trauma.

generally though, as for if polyfragmentation can occur after age 9, i'm just going to be honest and say i'm not entirely sure. i'm having a hard time articulating this, but i have heard of how because DID only begins development during trauma before the age of 9, symptoms and presentations of things such as amneisa can change as you continue to develop, so i do think it may be possible, but that's only my best guess and nothing official.

i say polyfragmentation is usually caused by severe trauma that occurs at extremely young ages because severe and complex trauma that occurs in the very very beginning stages of development obviously has a higher chance of resulting in more complex system structure. but as i've said before, it's important to also consider other factors in why someone may be polyfragmented other than the severeity of trauma and the ages it occured.

it's important to remember in this conversation that, again, polyfragmentation is not just having 100+ alters and someone having developed 100+ alters over the course of their trauma doesn't automatically mean they're polyfragmented.

i also just want to add a note to this as this is a question i struggled to answer: i'm always open to people adding on and correcting me if i get something wrong. i try my best to be as educational and informative on polyfragmentation as i can, but i'm also just one medically recognized PF-DID system and not a professional and there's the possibility i can be wrong.

as a rule of thumb, always try to fact check things :) don't take anything you see about CDDs on tumblr as 100% fact, even from me. anyone can say anything and a lot of people can be simply misinformed.

[pluraladvice]

I've been struggling with recently accepting being a system I'm very uneducated in general on what it means. I have conceptualized myself as being multiple small parts that all make up one person for a very long time but thinking about it too hard was usually panic attack territory I probably didn't need to preface all that but

Now I'm here and at some point I decided I wanted to be my own unique person with thoughts and feelings separated from everyone else and it's inspired others to feel the same kinda and now a bunch of people in my head are scrambling for any semblance of identity which has been hard because my head is hard to exist in and ends up meaning us switching is the only time anyone gets to conceptualize,

I can see things and hear things in my head and conjure images and thoughts like anyone but the moment I stray out of concepts and focus on anything it gets unstable in there everything starts teleporting around or running like wet paint or mosaicing or fractaling and folding in on itself and having just regular thoughts in there is hard on its own

And so when I talk to the people I know who are systems they go on and on and discuss and have so much with themselves and their head mates and what goes on and how they can just choose to interact? Or talk to each other? I can never understand it and most if not all the advice I receive from people just doesn't feel applicable to me and I'm not sure where to start learning

The best place to start is with acceptance. There's a lot of "I's" and "me's" here, which I wouldn't think anything about except you said everyone was wanting to be their own person and identity, but you're automatically just saying "my head" and "my body" and other things, which immediately ignores this personhood they have set up. That's a perfectly normal plural experience. When we first discovered our systemhood, our first host used a lot of I's and Me's. We interchange the terms I/me and we/us now as we have found both comforting. In the beginning, however, we were brushed off in an othering sort of way. It was the hosts life and we were intruding on it, not that we had been there the whole time and it was our life as well. With that said, there's only so much I can gather from a single ask about you and the others. But it does seem like you're trying to dive right into being a fully functioning system while skipping major parts of acceptance, communication, and the like. While you certainly can educate yourself at the same time and I would suggest discord servers with areas for asking questions and learning, it is better to start with acceptance and communication because the other things can't and won't happen without it. Have a private discord server where you guys can discuss things and talk to each other since you cannot actively talk to each other in headspace, use simply plurals polls function for major decisions about the outside world, body, and what will affect everyone as a whole. Learn your headmates first, then go on to the big parts of learning plurality.

[britneyshakespeare]

Another Thing Wrong With The Former Gifted Kid Discourse, Since I Can't Stop Thinking About It:

people have such an unhelpful tendency to universalize their own experience when talking about the plights and struggles about Gifted Kids™—and what they are talking about is not necessarily invalid, but they're more often talking about their individual responses to their particular schools' policies. This Is Not A Systemic Analysis. it's helpful; i sympathize with you. But You Are Not Dismantling The Inequities by saying this or that happened At Your School when you were a child, and it affected you this or that way because of Who You Are.

example. i always see people talking about neurodivergence in this conversation, which is actually helpful in spotlighting how the Gifted Kid discourse often glosses over such complex intersectional issues. you can talk about how you were Gifted & Neurodivergent and how those experiences lead you to future disappointment. this is, i must stress, valid. but your analysis of your own life Is Not A Systemic Analysis. your experience alone will never speak for how the educational system and trends in policy among schools across the united states affect ALL neurodivergent people negatively because there are neurodivergent people who are Different From You. not to mention that when people point out that very often "Gifted Kid" usually correlates with some degrees of privilege, people push back and go nooooo I'm neurodivergent. people across all other marginalized identities who are systemically disadvantaged by the educational system can be neurodivergent. this does not make you, initially, when you were as a young Kid determined to be Gifted, NOT also in fact privileged.

if you are not ready to discuss experiences that were different from your own growing up, you aren't really engaging in the discourse of how to improve public education in the united states. it's a diiii-verse country we live in. not only in the ways we traditionally think of. when we think of "marginalized" or "oppressed" people, some specific and historically significant groups come to mind. when it comes to advantages that set up a child for future educational success, these broad categories often leave gaps because they lead people to generalizations, and ultimately, fatalism.

but there's really so much hope in early childhood education if we were to make things more equitable, ie like i always say UNIVERSAL PRE-K. these kids who are determined as "gifted" more often than not were just from more enriched home environments that prepared them for learning how to read, write, and do math. it's often not special innate abilities that leads to differences in outcomes for different students, but That's How The Kids Interpret It When Some of Them Are Called "Gifted." they're more often than not, not doing something that's truly exceptional or precocious for their age. they're displaying signs of age-appropriate development, when often, the kids who may be lagging behind them skill-wise just Haven't Practiced Those Skills As Much.

so yes, that's why there's a correlation in things like upper- and middle-class white kids being seemingly more successful in school (and more commonly deemed "gifted") at a young age. it's from privilege. it's not even just the implicit biases of their educators already working in their favor for their race and class. it's the fact that being more privileged, generally, means their family and parents had all of their basic needs provided for. they had more time to read with you. they could buy more development-promoting toys. they probably had better mental health to cope with the demands of child-rearing. if they suffered chronic or sudden physical health issues, they were insured. privileged children are usually less exposed at a younger age to the harshnesses of this world, as every child should be. ALL of these little advantages build up, in terms of what a child can be provided with before they go to school. anything that's going wrong in a child's family system can negatively impact them without them even being old enough to understand it.

you may not think of yourself as Privileged. you might prefer to think of yourself as Gifted. Gifted is so nice, even if it's demoted to Former Gifted. at one point you were told you were superior and it felt really good. and You, reader, i do not know You. i'm not calling You privileged, even if you are! hell, everyone's privileged in some way. i am at the point in the post where for transparency's sake i think i should say I Could Be What Some People Call "Former Gifted". i was called smart as a kid and given special homework sometimes etc. i'm not calling any Former Gifted people stupid for not realizing this either. what i mean is that this kids Are Not Usually Actually Gifted. this is a compliment given overwhelmingly to children who were just simply not deprived. when people say they were once Gifted, they're more often than not saying I Had The Early Opportunities To Learn Everyone Should Have, But Doesn't. this doesn't make you an outlier. It Might Just Be A Sign of Privilege.

[unevenmonochrome]

Let's talk about "Body Language Experts." From the pov of someone who is neurodivergent and studying to have a career in psych.

I'll start off with a personal experience, and then swap over to a more educated commentary/perspective. So, I'm autistic, and sometimes, we can struggle with maintaining eye contact (other neurodivergencies can, too, I'm merely speaking from my pov). Or, we're either masking too hard and it's overly intense. Or, we've managed to find a balance at the cost of our social battery. Either way, you get my point. It usually takes a little extra work for us neurodivergents or even just those who struggle terribly with social anxiety, etc.

This was not recent, but it left an impression on me. Because I'm autistic, I did not look directly into this person's eyes when speaking with them. In turn, they believed I was lying to them, or ultimately, suspicious. Once I told them I was autistic and (should not have) apologized for the lack of eye contact, the expression on their face shifted into one of realization. That they had been quick to assume things based on misinformation they had been reading or watching. They had the decency to apologize to me, and then we continued to have an okay conversation, even if the assumption left a sour taste in my mouth.

Onward to the more "educated response."

Pseudoscience starts to emerge when particular gestures are connected to particular meanings and when this is either overtly or implicitly portrayed as scientific. Although scientists employ some behaviors to be coded in order to better understand communication in different circumstances, these systems are not meant to be “decoded.” A single size does not fit everyone. The 'general population' believes that nonverbal cues can only be used to discern who is lying and who is speaking the truth. That isn't true. These days, it's quite simple to just say you know something on the internet, and no one can really refute you. Individuals don't question things; they just accept them. It's alarming. Many people try to figure out who is lying and who isn't, but it's never really easy to tell. There are two types of looks that you may get with them: comfortable and unpleasant. It is not as comprehensive a science as, say, psychology. Any disclaimer you offer will be completely ignored by the audience. When it comes to nonverbal behavior, misinformation truly encompasses a complete ecosystem. They will say things because they think that people want to hear them, or because they think it's popular. It is quite an amazing assertion regarding nonverbal conduct if someone claims that one can "decode" the mental states of others by observing their body language. It would need remarkable proof to support this allegation. Furthermore, no such proof exists. I can tell you, that since I've been in university, we never had courses touching upon "body language" and how to "decode" it.

Anyway, there's my two cents. I don't claim and never will to be an "expert" on anything, because we are all human and there's always more knowledge to learn and discover. I'll go ahead and disclaim that if there's any blatantly rude comments (not those just stating their pov), they will be deleted and/or blocked, as this is supposed to be an educational discussion with maturity. All perspectives are welcome, but there is a difference between being outright rude and calmly stating your pov.

[futureghost97]

For the astrology asks

All the planets except Pluto unlesss the little dude is back in planet status please

mercury ⇢ are you a talkative person?

Oh. I never shut the fuck up. That’s… yeah, I consider myself to be talkative. Buckle up, because you just asked for a whole lot of information.

venus ⇢ describe your ideal type

So I like to joke that my type is “men who treat me like shit and straight women,” but honestly I don’t think I have one. Every single friend of mine would give a different answer based on what they know about me, and they’d all be right.

I’ve been single my entire life. Like, “Siri, play You’re On Your Own, Kid” levels of figuring things out on my own, always. And as much as I go on and on about how ready I am to have a partner because I want to develop the skills and learn things about myself that you develop in a romantic partnership, I’ve also watched a lot of people be in partnerships that just don’t serve them the way they deserve or need. And I’d rather stay on my own than be with someone who isn’t ready and eager to build an equal partnership with me. The most honest thing I can say is that my ideal type is someone who makes me think that it’s worth it to build something like that— because as much as I get lonely sometimes, I’m used to being on my own, and it’s— for the most part— comfortable. I’m ready to put in that hard work, but I need a good reason; someone who can make me think it’s worth it is someone special.

mars ⇢ are you the type to approach others first or do you like others to do that instead?

So it depends. In a regular social context I’m fine putting myself out there/acting a fool/approaching others/being loud— even in academic and professional environments, I’m like that, too. I don’t take myself too seriously (I get away with it by taking my work seriously) so I’m happy approaching others first. Specifically in a romantic or sexual context, though, I can really get in my head and I shut down, which makes it hard to approach others first. Which can be really frustrating, because I consider myself to be a pretty direct person nowadays. It’s that added component of desire that freaks me out, I think— it’s terrifying to have to go into an encounter with the expectation that the other person may-or-may-not, in the moment or eventually, desire my body. That may-or-may-not is scary, in a way that feels more immediate than any other kind of social interaction, for me. It’s kind of a forced reminder of my own embodiment, which is uhhhhh terrifying for me personally. Can’t wait to be a sexy sexy ghost. tl;dr depends, but I don’t bite, so feel free to reach out whenever.

jupiter ⇢ do you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?

Objectively I know I’m lucky (able-bodied, lots of opportunities, etc etc etc) but in my day-to-day I’m pretty unlucky.

saturn ⇢ what are the things you consider you struggle the most?

Lately I’ve backslid into really, really struggling with body image. To a degree that I haven’t since maybe high school or middle school. Long term/recurring struggles: being the youngest AND the least favorite child (yes we exist), generalized anxiety/depression, abandonment anxiety, not allowing myself to be unconditionally happy, some unaddressed trauma from my teen years, the unshakeable fear of being unfuckable (which does not go away just from fucking 🖤), and being way too much of a giver to be in the field of education.

uranus ⇢ what things do you think should change in society?

Oh gosh, so much. I’m going to leave so much out if I try for a full list, I’m sure. Something very specific, for me, is that the United States needs a more robust account of basic human rights for incarcerated people— one with a heavy emphasis on dignity. The system is a bloated beast with sharp teeth, and while I think it should be ✨abolished✨ and replaced with rehabilitative systems, I think that any reform that happens in the meantime should come from a place of prioritizing and protecting the dignity of incarcerated individuals. Assuming that there are certain rights and protections, provided by the government, which are forfeited when one breaks the law/social contract, there have to be human rights that remain, and they need to include the right to dignity— better living conditions, proper representation from within prisons, better rehabilitative and reentry opportunities, and humane treatment across the board. Sorry if this is all really abstract and not particularly actionable… one of my longer-term life goals is to offer educational opportunities in a prison, even though that’s very far off from where I am now.

neptune ⇢ are you a rational or intuitive person?

Intuitive intuitive intuitive. Someone take my heart and shake her around a bit, she’s not listening to my brain anymore and it’s causing problems. (Also, semantics, but this question annoyed me when I was reading through— I don’t think that rationality and intuition are opposed. Maybe this should be worded logical v. intuitive. I have a lot of strong feelings about the intuitive mode, and I think it’s just as rational a way to explore the world and obtain information as a logical approach. Devaluing intuition and idolizing logic seems… harmful. Hm.)

Thanks for the asks and sorry for the novel-length responses 😭

[bugbeast]

Save Vase, plus some advice

I mentioned in my first post that I’ve dabbled in computer game design; I didn’t get very far into my game development journey before I pivoted to tabletop games, though, since it was quicker and easier to get a prototype ready to play. I did, however, finish four very simple games before moving on, not counting stuff I made during programming class in high school. Most of these games had a specific educational purpose behind their creation, as I suppose any piece of practice artwork does. I’m not sharing them with you because I think they’re particularly worthwhile, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a certain level of fondness for them, but because I believe “pulling back the current” on these old game dev projects might help aspiring game designers realize they’re not alone in their struggles.

But, without further ado, I present to you one of my earliest completed computer games: Save Vase!

When I first started making games I had grand aspirations: I was going to make a space-shooter/RPG hybrid with a karma system and choices that affect the game’s story and a robust skill tree and – Yeah…I’ll talk about how bad of an idea this was later, but I knew my goal, misguided though it was, and I set out to achieve it.

There was only one problem (actually there were many, many problems; again, I’ll get into it later): no one knew about me. And if no one knew about ME, then how would they ever know about this masterpiece of a game I was working on? I needed a website, but most importantly, I needed proof I could actually make a game. Why would a person spread my website link around if they couldn’t be sure I even knew a thing about game development, after all? So I spent 30 minutes of my time creating a simple game to show to my friends on social media to prove I wasn’t just talking out of my ass (it was more like whispering).

That’s how Save Vase came to be. I don’t have much to say regarding the game itself, honestly; I think the above video is self-explanatory. In case you’re curious, though, keeping your vase safe for 30 seconds unlocks a hard mode in which you control a second vase with the arrow keys. “Impossible Mode” would be a more appropriate name, in my opinion, since it’s a little brain melting protecting two vases at once.

It won’t come as a shock to some of you that the space-shooter RPG never got past a couple of half-baked prototypes (and “prototype” is being generous); the truth is that making a game of that scope as your first project is basically impossible, especially if you’re flying solo. The lesson Save Vase taught me was that it was my true love all along a beginner’s first games should remain as limited in scope as possible. I should have been pumping out simple arcade games like Save Vase left and right to hone my skills, but instead I was convinced, despite having next to no idea what I was doing, that if I just tried really hard I could develop my dream game. I wasted time learning how to implement mechanics into a doomed project instead of focusing on the fundamentals. If you want to make games, and you haven’t heard this advice already, start small; instead of the battle royale with dating sim elements you doodled pictures of in your chemistry textbook, maybe make a couple dumb games about protecting pottery from psychic aliens first. Keep them simple, and make sure you finish them. A bunch of small completed games will do more for your skill development than attempting a large, complicated project ever could. Just make sure you’re having fun!

Peace.

Computer game design may not have worked out for me, but I still actively work on tabletop games; in fact, I have a card game available for purchase right now! It’s called Jewel Thief and it’s an asymmetrical card matching game. Purchase it here and/or read about it here.

Oh, and I guess if you want to try Save Vase for yourself you can download it here or whatever.

[professionalwhining]

Walking in wonder

Life is crazy (in a good way - in this house, the only way we use that word is with a positive connotation anyway). Every day since I arrived back home I’ve been going to practice in one of those rental bikes that I subscribed to a while ago. To be honest, I’ve been too lazy to take down my bike, look for a place to chain it, and then take it all up again into my apartment. It just seems like a lot of hassle for a ten-minute ride. So after practice, I had to walk a bit to go rent another bike (Literally : “el flojo trabaja doble”… os does he?) and bumped into a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She was in a rush cause she had to go to work. But we still had time to catch up on life and for her to recommend me a new vegan coffee shop. just seeing her happy and -newly-red-headed was enough to brighten my morning but then I had that coffee…. It had peanut butter in it. And oh boy! it was obscene how mouth-watering and rich that coffee was. It just felt so right. Me and that coffee we had an intimate moment and I’m just going to leave it at that (some things are intended to be private). JK. This is not what this is about.

So I decided to honor this coffee by sitting down in the canal and having my breakfast there while re-reading one of my favorite books. It was blissful, to say the least.  After it was time to leave (I do have a thesis to -pretend- to write) I couldn’t find a bike for the life of me. So, I went against my predetermined mindset and decided to walk. Don’t get me wrong, I like to walk. I’m no Lizzie Bennet, but if I have to walk I walk. The thing is because at the moment I am: jobless, boyfriendless, moneyless (why, when you are poor everything is about money. Rhetoric question), and friendless (cause they gotta work, don’t be worrying about me) I did the most unthinkable thing you can do in this capitalist society, I took the long road and wasted time (I struggled really hard not to put quotation marks there). And I just had the quietest and most miraculous mornings I’ve had in a while…. and girl, I literally just went for a walk. 

But that’s still not what I came here for. I’m reading (listening on audiobook actually) “Walking in Wonder” (2018) -naturally very metha of me- by my king -you know it- John O’Donohue. So, as you do, when listening to an audiobook I had to stop a few times to write down the chapter with the exact timing to listen to this all over again. Because this shit is the bomb. If I love you and you are asking me for revolutionary reads I’ve already talked your ear off about the late John O’Donohue. His books, conversations, lectures, and talks are a gift to the world. The insight. It’s just… *sighs* you know I can never really talk about what I find sublime. As Susan Suntag said, a book “worth reading is an education of the heart. It enlarges our sense of human possibility, of what human nature is, of what happens in the world. It’s a creator of inwardness”

Anyway, I was just here to share some quotes I struggled to write down from an audiobook in the middle of Paris: 

“The real mystery is not that things are the way they are, but that there is something rather than nothing.” : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “…Each one of us is the custodian of an inner world that we carry around with us.” “…and warm awareness, you are going to have an incredible life. You are going to have sufferings as well, but you will always return to that place of warmth and fire within yourself.” (hardcore to read after practicing Ashtanga) “….One of the sad things today is that so many people are frightened by the wonder of their own presence. They are dying to tie themselves into a system, a role, or to an image, or to a predetermined identity that other people have actually settled on for them. This identity may be totally at variance with the wild energies that are rising inside in their souls. Many of us get very afraid and we eventually compromise. We settle for something that is safe, rather than engaging the danger and the wildness that is in our own hearts.”

I mean!!!!! Right?????

If I were you I would start with (my favorite) “Anam Cara” 

[qqueenofhades]

Do you really hate this county? Or were you just ranting?

Sigh. I debated whether or not to answer this, since I usually keep the real-life/politics/depressing current events to a relative minimum on this blog, except when I really can't avoid ranting about it. But I have some things to get off my chest, it seems, and you did ask. So.

The thing is, any American with a single modicum of genuine historical consciousness knows that despite all the triumphalist mythology about Pulling Up By Our Bootstraps and the American Dream and etc, this country was founded and built on the massive and systematic exploitation and extermination of Black and Indigenous people. And now, when we are barely (400 years later!!!) getting to a point of acknowledging that in a widespread way, oh my god the screaming. I'm so sick of the American right wing I could spit for so many reasons, not least of which is the increasingly reductive and reactive attempts to put the genie back in the bottle and set up hysterical boogeymen about how Teaching Your Children Critical Race Theory is the end of all things. They have forfeited all pretense of being a real governing party; remember how their only platform at the 2020 RNC was "support whatever Trump says?" They have devolved to the point where the cruelty IS the point, to everyone who doesn't fit the nakedly white supremacist mold. They don't have anything to do aside from attempt to usher in actual, literal, dictionary-definition-of-fascism and sponsor armed revolts against the peaceful transfer of power.

That is fucking exhausting to be aware of all the time, especially with the knowledge that if we miss a single election cycle -- which is exceptionally easy to do with the way the Democratic electorate needs to be wooed and courted and herded like cats every single time, rather than just getting their asses to the polls and voting to keep Nazis out of office -- they will be right back in power again. If Manchin and Sinema don't get over their poseur pearl-clutching and either nuke the filibuster or carve out an exception for voting rights, the John Lewis Voting Rights Act is never going to get passed, no matter how many boilerplate appeals the Democratic leadership makes on Twitter. In which case, the 2022 midterms are going to give us Kevin McCarthy, Speaker of the House (I threw up in my mouth a little typing that) and right back to the Mitch McConnell Obstruction Power Hour in the Senate. The Online Left (TM) will then blame the Democrats for not doing more to stop them. These are, of course, the same people who refused to vote for Hillary Clinton out of precious moral purity reasons in 2016, handed the election to Trump, and now like to complain when the Trump-stacked Supreme Court reliably churns out terrible decisions. Gee, it's almost like elections have consequences!!

Aside from my exasperation with the death-cult right-wing fascists and the Online Left (TM), I am sick and tired of how forty years of "trickle-down" Reaganomics has created a world where billionaires can just fly to space for the fun of it, while the rest of America (and the world) is even more sick, poor, overheated, economically deprived, and unable to survive the biggest public health crisis in a century, even if half the elected leadership wasn't actively trying to sabotage it. Did you know that half of American workers can't even afford a one-bedroom apartment? Plus the obvious scandal that is race relations, health care, paid leave, the education system (or lack thereof), etc etc. I'm so tired of this America Is The Greatest Country in the World mindless jingoistic catchphrasing. We are an empire in the late stages of collapse and it's not going to be pretty for anyone. We have been poisoned on sociopathic-libertarian-selfishness-disguised-as-Freedom ideology for so long that that's all there is left. We have become a country of idiots who believe everything their idiot friends post on social media, but in a very real sense, it's not directly those individuals' fault. How could they, when they have been very deliberately cultivated into that mindset and stripped of critical thinking skills, to serve a noxious combination of money, power, and ideology?

I am tired of the fact that I have become so drained of empathy that when I see news about more people who refused to get the vaccine predictably dying of COVID, my reaction is "eh, whatever, they kind of deserved it." I KNOW that is not a good mindset to have, and I am doing my best to maintain my personal attempts to be kind to those I meet and to do my small part to make the world better. I know these are human beings who believed what they were told by people that they (for whatever reason) thought knew better than them, and that they are part of someone's family, they had loved ones, etc. But I just can't summon up the will to give a single damn about them (I'm keeping a bingo card of right-wing anti-vax radio hosts who die of COVID and every time it's like, "Alexa, play Another One Bites The Dust.") The course that the pandemic took in 21st-century America was not preordained or inevitable. It was (and continues to be) drastically mismanaged for cynical political reasons, and the legacy of the Former Guy continues to poison any attempts to bring it under control or convince people to get a goddamn vaccine. We now have over 100,000 patients hospitalized with COVID across the country -- more than last summer, when the vaccines weren't available.

I have been open about my fury about the devaluation of the humanities and other critical thinking skills, about the fact that as an academic in this field, my chances of getting a full-time job for which I have trained extensively and acquired a specialist PhD are... very low. I am tired of the fact that Americans have been encouraged to believe whatever bullshit they fucking please, regardless of whether it is remotely true, and told that any attempt to correct them is "anti-freedom." I am tired of how little the education system functions in a useful way at all -- not necessarily due to the fault of teachers, who have to work with what they're given, and who are basically heroes struggling stubbornly along in a profession that actively hates them, but because of relentless under-funding, political interference, and furious attempts, as discussed above, to keep white America safely in the dark about its actual history. I am tired of the fact that grade school education basically relies on passing the right standardized tests, the end. I am tired of the implication that the truth is too scary or "un-American" to handle. I am tired. Tired.

I know as well that "America" is not synonymous in all cases with "capitalist imperialist white-supremacist corporate death cult." This is still the most diverse country in the world. "America" is not just rich white middle-aged Republicans. "America" involves a ton of people of color, women, LGBTQ people, Muslims, Jews, Christians of good will (I have a whole other rant on how American Christianity as a whole has yielded all pretense of being any sort of a principled moral opposition), white allies, etc etc. all trying to make a better world. The blue, highly vaccinated, Biden-winning states and counties are leading the economic recovery and enacting all kinds of progressive-wishlist dream policies. We DID get rid of the Orange One via the electoral process and avert fascism at the ballot box, which is almost unheard-of, historically speaking. But because, as also discussed above, certain elements of the Democratic electorate need to fall in love with a candidate every single time or threaten to withhold their vote to punish the rest of the country for not being Progressive Enough, these gains are constantly fragile and at risk of being undone in the next electoral cycle. Yes, the existing system is a crock of shit. But it's what we've got right now, and the other alternative is open fascism, which we all got a terrifying taste of over the last four years. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to go back.

So... I don't know. I don't know if that stacks up to hate. I do hate almost everything about what this country currently is, structurally speaking, but I recognize that is not identical with the many people who still live here and are trying to do their best, including my friends, family, and myself. I am exhausted by the fact that as an older millennial, I am expected to survive multiple cataclysmic economic crashes, a planet that is literally boiling alive, a barely functional political system run on black cash, lies, and xenophobia, a total lack of critical thinking skills, renewed assaults on women/queer people/POC/etc, and somehow feel like I'm confident or prepared for the future. Not all these problems are only America's fault alone. The West as a whole bears huge responsibility for the current clusterfuck that the world is in, for many reasons, and so do some non-Western countries. But there is no denying that many of these problems have ultimate American roots. See how the ongoing fad for right-wing authoritarian strongmen around the world has them modeling themselves openly on Trump (like Brazil's lunatic president, Jair Bolsonaro, who talks all the time about how Trump is his political role model). See what's going on in Afghanistan right now. Etc. etc.

Anyway. I am very, very tired. There you have it.