#of the non violent variety

[falinscloaca]

chainsaw man manga part 2 spoilers why aren’t i in bed yet 

honestly csm part 2′s at that point where i just can’t TELL if War’s insistence that “oh no i can be super strong i just need a powerful weapon!” is overconfidence on her part or if its deliberate misrepresentation of the situation given the degree of humanity’s Post-War-iness and they (plural given potential collaboration from “Famine”) are just attempting to engineer a scenario where Denji specifically is weaponized for its own sake.

[genderqueerdykes]

if you are a trans man or masc, masculine nonbinary, genderqueer, genderfluid or other gender non conforming identity, masc gay, a bear, a butch, stud, or boi, or other masculine queer person and don't feel welcome in any queer spaces, you're not alone.

the communities both irl and online have become EXTREMELY hostile toward mascs and men to the point of straight up excluding us and changing their wording to justify their violent exclusion. from renaming nonbinary spaces to "femme & them" and "she+" spaces, to telling men & mascs that they would "Scare" the women and "nonbinary" folks just by being there, as if masculinity and manhood are inherently traumatizing to be around.

masculine and male nonbinary folks have it so hard- most nonbinary spaces are almost definitely women's spaces who also conflate womanhood with nonbinaryhood, and often times just view nonbinary people as confused women. we are not inherently traumatizing to be around: masc enbies need places to go. we are still nonbinary and still trans and still queer for fucks' sake

nonbinary has never and will never mean femme or woman-adjacent inherently. nonbinary means what it means: people who don't or refuse to adhere to the gender binary, regardless of what side it is. masculinity is included in this, femininity is not the only way to be nonbinary.

masc queers do not have to bend over backwards to try to be more feminine and thus "less threatening" in order to have places to go. that's dysphoric and just inaccurate to a lot of queer folks' identity and presentation. it blows my mind because it makes no sense, anyway, even within the gay community, hypermasculinity has been present and even sought after by some people who find it very attractive, twunks, hunks, bears... but between the periods in queer history people started viewing masc gay leathermen and kinksters as the ones who were responsible for spreading AIDS and thus removing them from pride parades,

AND the lesbian separatism moment picking up to remove butches & male & masc lesbians from lesbian spaces identity, paving the way for modern rdical femniism, we've only entered a downhill landslide of hating men and mascs and ultimately trying to erase us from the queer community entirely.

the queer community is not the "women & femmes community". the queer experience is broad and vast, it includes a wide variety of masculine and male experiences, as well as genderfluid, multigender, completely ungendered and other gendered experiences. the lesbian, trans, bisexual, nonbinary, gay and general queer communities aren't the "safe place to hide from men & mascs community" like estranged rdfems and terfpilled trans folk like to tell you they are.

this is the QUEER community and it includes ALL forms of queerness, masc, femme, butch, male, neutral, bigender, neutral, and all. he/shes and he/hims and he/theys and he/its and so on are just as much of a part of this communities as she/hers and they/thems. you can't cast a blanket of "inherently abusive" over all men and mascs and one of "inherently abused/incapable of being abusive" over all women and femmes because that just traps you in a fantasy land that doesn't exist AND it prevents mascs and men from getting the help, resources and community they NEED.

men & mascs are hurt and abused by women & femmes every day and we refuse to speak about them because we live under a white cisheteronormal patriarchy and have complaints about how that functions. the complaints are legitimate but assuming that all men and mascs are oppressing all women and femmes and that women can never be oppressive is a false as hell narrative that actively damages people.

enough is enough. this mindset is hurting people. it's leaving masc and male queers to be estranged, harmed and even dead. i care about you if you're being affected by this mentality and these behaviors. you deserve community, safety, and a sense of belonging, you do belong, even if we struggle to form our own spaces due to unjust hatred. we will do our best to band together and keep each other safe. we must

[headspace-hotel]

It's important to not force your human morals onto non-human nature, like "this creature, since it disgusts me, is bad" or "this creature, since it has behaviors I interpret as sweet and heartwarming, is good"

But if you study nature whether in life or in profession, nature will make you feel disgusted and uncomfortable, it's not necessary to act as if those feelings don't exist within you, because they are part of your encounter with the otherness of nature, and contain sensitivities that can be sharpened into their own ingredient to knowledge and awareness

Coexisting with discomforting parts of the reality of Nature without trying to resolve them into a moral or aesthetic framework you are happy with, reflects maturity

It is no good to "redeem" a hated animal if the redemption is another false idea of the animal as innocent and good. This implies that a creature's "goodness" is a valid reason it deserves existence. It is also no good to treat a beloved animal with hatred to make things fair.

A good example is with dolphins and sharks, dolphins were seen as good and cute and almost human, whereas sharks were seen as bloodthirsty killers, and this has cost the lives of sharks while dolphins are given more sympathy, so some people have tried to turn it around, portraying sharks as gentle and good while pointing out that dolphins can be violent and rape other dolphins.

A lot of dolphin behaviors are certainly upsetting, definitely it makes sense to be upset that an animal can engage in what appears like cruelty, but human morality isn't made to apply to non- humans, and a particular behavior is not the entire reality of what a whole species is like. Dolphins also engage in behaviors that humans judge as friendly, compassionate, altruistic, curious and playful

Think of a particular dog or cat and the variety of complex behaviors they are capable of—an entire species, made of individuals with their own complexity, must be far more complex. All of your emotional responses to dolphins are recognizing the immense complexity of these animals and how they are both like and unlike you, which is important to think about to expand your understanding of the universe

Fitting a creature to a flat framework for your own comfort or internal resolution is a disrespect to the creature. Certainly with sharks, everyone should know the facts about them rather than sensationalistic misinformation—shark attacks are rare, humans are not a preferred food for sharks, and most shark bites are exploratory investigations of a strange object or animal rather than feeding upon a selected prey item, however this doesn't mean sharks are "good" by human standards and it certainly doesn't mean sharks are "safe."

Seeing a video of an enormous Great White swimming placidly I feel that her presence is not just breathtakingly beautiful, but awesome—in the more archaic sense of something that inspires awe, something so great and powerful it could destroy your fragile human life without malicious intent. Likewise with any shark, it is respectful to recognize that they can be dangerous, it is disrespectful to think of them as ocean puppies and try to touch them and grab them.

Fear, disgust, anger—each is an instinct that functions to protect you and is reactive towards potential or perceived threats. Your brain allows you to evaluate things that cause these responses and choose how to act.

All parts of this whole are important because the natural world contains actual threats but knowledge and intentional behavior are important to protecting yourself.

For example, once when I found a tick crawling on my clothing, I felt disgusted and startled, which is appropriate, but my instinctive reaction was to immediately flick the tick off, flinging it onto the floor or furniture nearby where I no longer knew where it was. In this way my response didn't actually protect me but instead increased the level of risk

There are plenty of other examples—if someone sees a venomous snake they might think it is important to kill it, but trying to kill the snake is much more dangerous than leaving it alone, since the snake will try to defend itself. Spraying pesticides to kill bugs can unbalance the ecosystem causing more harmful pests than you started with because the natural predators are also killed. Using poisons to kill mice and rats will also poison their natural predators. Killing coyotes just causes them to disperse and reproduce at a higher rate, and killing wolves causes overpopulation of prey, which causes disease to proliferate and forests to be stripped bare of saplings that could grow up and regenerate the forest...

...And it also works the opposite way with human responses of affection, love and sociability: humans often may feel that they want to make an animal their friend, but often it would be cruel to take that animal into a human house and treat it as a pet. White-tailed deer may seem cute and sympathetic but hunting some of them is important for the health of the ecosystem, and trying to make them tame puts the deer and the humans in danger. Domestic cats are our friends but they are also invasive species in much of the world, destroying populations of birds, mammals and amphibians.

Domestic cats aren't serial killers or murderers either, they are just predatory animals that instinctively hunt and kill prey.

It is hard for facts about animals to be propagated while those facts must be presented as reasons the animal deserves to live or deserves to die. Virginia opossums are important to their ecosystem and deserve to exist. They also don't actually eat ticks, that came from a very flawed and sloppy scientific study that was contradicted by later studies, and sadly the reason this misinformation got so far is that it was "proof" that opossums are valuable and shouldn't be killed for no reason.

Wolves are keystone species and vital to their ecosystems, but it's not true that they never attack humans, there have been a small handful of wolf attacks on humans, it's very few and wolves generally avoid humans but they're not "safe." They shouldn't have to be "safe" to deserve to live.

Fact is, most animals can harm a human if they feel threatened or end up in an unlucky situation! Most animals can spread disease one way or another! We have to live with this, we have to learn and use strategies to keep ourselves safe, we can't just sterilize the world of animals because of a possibility that an animal could hurt someone, any more than we can cut down every tree because trees fall on people sometimes.

No one likes hearing that there's no way to for-sure eliminate all possibility of ticks from your yard, you just have to take precautions against them, but it's true! Just like there's an inherent possibility a wasp could sting you, an inherent possibility a snake could bite you, an inherent possibility a mountain lion could eat your livestock, but you can dramatically lower your risk of these things by knowing how to coexist with these animals.

[hiiragi7]

Some notes on intersex invisibility, from an intersex person...

Often people tell me, "I have never met an intersex person before," and they assume that we are simply rare by nature rather than continuously, purposefully, and violently eradicated. Intersex people themselves are not rare, rather the opposite; we are born all the time, everywhere. We are common variation by nature - Our perceived rarity is wholly man-made, caused by the purposeful destruction of our bodies and our identities.

The concept of intersex as rare is used to further our eradication by design; When PGD is used to terminate intersex embryos, when intersex infants and children are operated on to "normalize" them, when intersex people are not told about their own variation, when intersex people are told they have "disorders" they must be treated for but the word "intersex" is never so much as uttered, when we are isolated from each other and prevented from building our own communities, when medical institutions attempt to narrow down what falls under "intersex" to make our statistics appear smaller, when we are forcibly made as invisible if not as non-existent as possible - it is no wonder we would be assumed a rarity.

Those unaware often even assume our perceived rarity is natural, passive, and neutral, rather than created, gory, and methodical. This, too, I believe is purposeful; our destruction is largely hidden and we are silenced by this assumed-to-be fact of rarity. The details that people may come to learn about our mutilation are also made palatable, even understandable, through the lens of pathology; we are presented not as people who are mutilated and destroyed for who we are, but rather as sick patients with an unfortunate (but always rare) illness undergoing necessary treatment to hopefully lead fulfilling, "normal" lives. In this way, doctors are framed as our saviors rather than our executioners, and those who buy into our rarity and abnormality become complicit in our invisibility.

As intersex people, we carry the consequences of this deep within ourselves; whether it is in the form of literal scars, doubt and insecurities about our own claim to our identities and our bodies, isolation from others like ourselves and a deeply felt loneliness, an inability to access safe medical care or knowledge about our bodies, or a variety of other traumas, our community is suffering. To have that pain made so invisible, so insignificant, so pathologized, only serves to ensure our abuse and destruction is continued.

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Slippery As An Eel

Yandere Eel Merman x Gender Neutral Reader (CW: Non-con, violent sex, bloody sex, biting, inhuman genitalia, huge dick, stalking, kidnapping, sadistic yandere, merman, eel man, merpeople, magic, general yandere behavior, reader gets broken ankle, dacryphylia, long tongue down reader’s throat) Word Count: 5.6k (Where I live there is still over an hour of May left, and I posted something for Mermay already, but it did not have smut, so I hope this feeds you all well for Mermay!)

Veeris was a merman, part man and part eel. Though most merfolk stayed well away from humankind, Veeris never managed to shake his fascination with them. They were so limited in their biped forms and yet they managed to traverse the skies and the seas. Maybe not so gracefully as a harpy or a merperson, but they traversed these domains nonetheless. And they did such a wide array of behaviors, from what he observed by watching the beach. They were just so fun to watch, going about their days. So small and fragile, but with little to no fear of predators. Veeris supposed that his own kind did a variety of crafts and hobbies too, but the eelfolk were a bit more homogenous than humans, who seemed far less predictable. Maybe it was just that he had lived among his own species so they just seemed more boring, but whatever the reason humans held some kind of spell over him. But there was one human that held his attention in a way that none others did, in a way that made his heart flutter and his thoughts race. And that human was you. It was a slow development, but after a while he became totally enthralled by you. Not knowing your name he dubbed you his "little siren" for getting him so attracted to you. He first saw you when you were picking up garbage from the beach, an activity that wasn't too uncommon as far as humans are concerned, but not totally normal either, it was always a welcome sight to see a human caring about the ocean rather than just polluting it though.   But another quality you possessed that made it so easy for the eel to fixate on you was that unlike the tourists who came and went you were a constant figure at the beach, you were practically a feature of it. And you weren't just a frequent beach goer, you were also consistent in the times that you went. Veeris could almost always predict just exactly when you were going to be there. At that point Veeris was extremely interested and curious about you, but not yet obsessed. What really made him yearn for you was when there was an oil spill. Of course you were a volunteer on the coast, helping to clean up birds that had gotten oil on them. And when he saw that he realized he longed for your delicate hands attending to him, traipsing over and exploring every inch of his body, in the same way that they were diligently cleaning every inch of the wildlife. Veeris tried to temper his passions, he really did. After all, you were a human and on the land and there was no way for him to even get to you, no matter how much he wanted to. Unless... he took advantage of your natural care for sea life. He was sea life was he not? The eel man knew every single inch of every path you took around the beach when you did one of your trash clean-ups. You always started at the south end and ended at the much more secluded north end. He staked the beach out for days waiting for a moment where there were no other humans nearby when you approached the end of your route. As you were going about using your grabber tool to pick up today's wave of never ending pollution you suddenly saw something large wash up with the gentle waves lapping at the shore. Just about 15ft. in front of you now lay a mind bogglingly long merman. Each of his features were striking in their own right. His rippling muscles, the long dark purple hair, almost black, splayed about messily over his face. The blue freckles covering his face, and parts of his arms, and chest. The dark purple scales covering his webbed hands and going up to his arms. But by far his most striking feature was the over 10ft. long tail. It was large, purple, had fins running all the way down its length, and looked oily, it was currently under a net. You saw his sharp teeth as he looked up pleadingly with his dark blue eyes and spoke in a pained voice, "Please help me, I’m Veeris. I was just swimming along when my arm and tail got caught up in this drifting net and I got washed ashore!" You told him your name and said that of course you would assist him! You ran over to him without hesitation, some humans may be scared of the seafolk, but you weren't a bigot! And clearly he needed your help. As you finished removing the net he struck without warning, wrapping you in his long slimy tail before slithering into the water and quickly making his way to his cave. You were stunned for a moment before you started to struggle, but the tail was heavy and muscular, almost like having the largest snake wrapped around you. There was also the little issue of having to contend with not being able to breathe. Just when your head was pounding and it felt like your lungs were on fire you felt the rush of air on your face as he crawled onto the floor of the seafloor, dragging you behind him. You gagged and spit up some water you had accidentally inhaled. "Wh-why did you bring me here?" You managed to croak out. It was practically unheard of for a merman of any type to eat a human but... with human meddling in the ocean fish may be scarce and anyone could be driven to extremes if starving. And those sharp teeth were definitely made for meat. "To be my mate, little siren!" He coiled around you and looked down at you intensely, this was the first time he had ever gotten to see you close up and he wanted to savor each and every little detail of his precious human mate. You flinched as his webbed fingers gently caressed your face. Welp, better than him intending you to be dinner. But uh... not ideal. You feared that trying to reason with him might make him angry and possibly violent, he clearly was not too rational, but maybe some quick thinking could weasel you out of this situation. “Well, um, I have a lot of responsibilities and a job that I have to do. Bills to pay. I can’t just be stuck here!” Maybe a bit flimsy, but maybe he’d buy it? “Ah, but don’t worry my sweet siren, with you being here you won’t have any of those types of worries in the first place! You can just relax and let me take care of you~” Damn, it didn't work. “But this cave is so damp and cool, surely my health will suffer if I stay for too long! And how am I to eat fresh vegetables or cook?” “Don’t worry, my love, I am good friends with the sea witch, Emrul. She has spent time amongst the humans in their form and has used powerful magic to make the next chamber in the cave habitable for your kind!” For the first time you took notice of your surroundings. You were in a huge room, a large portion of which was submerged in water where the cave led out to the sea, but the other portion was smooth rocky terrain. The walls had faintly glowing shells embedded into them with stalactites and stalagmites running together to form large pillars along the farther edges of the room. A soft moss like substance covered the rocky floor in large patches, it was probably of magical origin given that you could see no other way for it to survive here. Glancing behind you you saw a wide corridor leading deeper into Veeris’ den. Veeris slithered closer and grabbed your hand, leading you into the next room. Despite your reluctance to be there even you had to gasp at the sight before you. The room was enormous. The ceiling was a false but convincing image of the sky, clear blue with moving clouds. It was so real there was even a breeze, if it were not for the cave walls remaining the same as the previous chamber you would have been convinced you were really in a scenic location above water. The room was filled with grass and soil and even trees, there was a freshwater pond to give you a water source and in the distance there was a huge cabin, that even Veeris could easily fit into, in the corner with a sprawling garden free of any pests or disease, it was truly amazing. There was even a miniature river for Veeris to cool off in when he needed moisture and when he needed to get from one side of the room to the other quickly, it had arching bridges over it in several places so you could cross and remain dry. “See? Everything a human needs is here! Fresh air, food, trees, plants, food, freshwater, shelter!” Fuck! No dice. There was one last thing you could try. “Well, humans don’t fall in love or move in so fast… not usually… most of us prefer to date for a bit first.” “Date?” “Yeah, where you get to know someone gradually through planned meet-ups! And if you like them then you agree to be mates!” “Oh, so an extended courtship ritual that you need? Okay, little siren, how do we do a human date? I have already watched you for so long every time you are on the beach so I know I love you, but I don’t mind waiting a bit and doing this for you if it makes you more comfortable~” He looked at you and gave a toothy grin that you supposed was meant to be sweet but his sharp teeth gave you chills. But it wasn’t just that grin that made you exceedingly uncomfortable, apparently this eel man had been stalking you for quite some time. Oh god, it was working! “Well, uh, you can take me back up and we can meet and hang out on the beach sometime. I don’t know how your calendar works… maybe during the full moon, two nights from now?” “Okay!” Veeris took you gently and brought you back to the surface, it wasn’t that long, you could have made it yourself in one breath if you had to… assuming you were wearing flippers. Veeris gave you a hug and you said your goodbyes, once he re-submerged into the blue depths you ran home. You hadn’t brought your car since you lived just up the road. You had all of zero intention of going on your date, instead you started looking into new places to live. The nature of your work meant you absolutely had to be near an ocean, it would take some time to pull off but you sure as shit would not remain anywhere near this beach! Veeris, on the other hand, could not wait for his date. In only two days he would court and win the heart of his beloved, he just knew it! He could hardly focus on hunting, eating, or sleeping. He was just so excited, even a bit nervous despite his confidence that he would win you over. When the full moon started to rise Veeris was already at the spot where he first met you. You weren’t there, but that was okay, he had gotten there pretty early in the night in his excitement to see you again. But as the hours passed and the moon reached its zenith, with moonlight dancing on the water you never showed up. Veeris was heartbroken. At first he was depressed, then he was enraged. How could his little siren do something like this to him? He began to go back to his lair when a thought occurred to him. What if something had happened to you? What if you had been injured or hurt? It was the middle of the night, but Emrul was always up performing rituals and spells during the night of a full moon. Veeris knew he would need her help and did not delay in changing course and swimming directly to her dwelling. Emrul lived nearby, in a small stone building carved into the rocky side of a trench, secluded enough to perform her magical research and incantations in relative peace, but also close enough to the people that sought after her unique services. Her perimeter spell had already alerted her to Veeris’ arrival and she was outside to greet him. She looked very similar to him, with the obvious difference that she was a woman. Her scales were also a very dark, almost black, shade of blue rather than purple. She warmly greeted her fellow eel as they both went into her abode. Vials of brightly colored fluids lined her shelves, a cauldron bubbled with a mystic fluid that was thicker than water, and the smell of pungent ingredients permeated the water. “So, what brings you to me at such an hour? It must be important…” “it is… I really need your help...” And, after explaining his situation to her, he got it. A few days later you were in your house getting ready for bed. You had already arranged everything for your move, it wasn’t too terribly far, just 35 miles up the coast. All your things were already packed. You would miss the area, but you had no familial ties and no friends that lived near so that made things easier. You couldn’t stay knowing what was waiting to drag you into the depths. As you turned off the light and got into bed you slept soundly for the first time in days. But you didn’t stay asleep, you heard something outside. You ignored it at first, thinking it was just some raccoon or other such animal roaming about in the dark. But then you heard pounding at your door. You looked through the peephole to see who could possibly be disturbing you at this hour. What you saw made your blood run cold. Veeris, somehow, this far inland. Except there were now two very human legs where his tail should have been, he had no scales, and he was also dressed in very old style clothing. Like an alien who had seen fashion from the Victorian era and wore it thinking it would blend them in with modern day humans. How was he on land? How had he found you!? You ran back upstairs and hid under your bed, hoping that he would think you weren’t home and simply leave. And if he did come in maybe he wouldn’t find you under there. The pounding at the door only grew more fervent, you prayed he would just take a hint and leave but it didn’t seem like a lack of response was going to be enough of a deterrent for the former eel man. Veeris was worried for your safety, worried something terrible may have happened to you, so there was no force on earth that was going to prevent him from seeing you. And he knew you were inside. Emrul didn’t just enchant him with a temporary human form but also let him have a homing crystal that was tuned to the object of his desire. He knew you were inside this human building. Knocking wasn’t working, what if someone had you bound or you were injured and unable to come to the door? With a mighty heave he snapped the door and entered your home, calling out your name as he searched every room. When he reached your bedroom the crystal grew warm and glowed more strongly. You were close. His heavy steps boomed and thudded around you as he checked under your covers and opened your closet. There was now only one place left to check. Veeris easily pushed aside your bed, revealing you huddled up in a fetal position below where the bed previously stood. He picked you up easily and pulled you into a painfully tight embrace. “My siren! What happened to you!? Are you okay? Why did you miss our date?” Veeris was sure there had to be a proper explanation, like maybe you had been ill or someone had hurt you. You only had to get him to leave you alone for another night and then you could find a human mage, warlock, witch, or sorcerer of some type to block out magical tracking. You decided to go with old reliable. In a sickly voice you answered him after a few convincing coughs, “I-i wanted to come, of course I did but… I was so s-sick. I still am. That’s why I was under the bed, I had fallen and couldn’t even get up!” You finished your lie with a few more fake coughs and a slight whimper of pain. Veeris was totally convinced of your deception. Perhaps, as you would soon realize, just a bit too convinced. “Oh, my poor sweet angel fish, I am so sorry that you have been suffering. Forget the date.” Haha, Success! “You clearly cannot be left alone in this condition, don’t worry I will take good care of you, I will make sure you get plenty of rest and all your needs are taken care of!” FUCK! “No, no! You don’t need to go through all of that trouble! I was already starting to feel a little bit better!” You did not like where this was going. “Nonsense, what kind of potential mate would I be if I just left you to suffer! You don’t need to be so strong, you can rely on me.” “B-but the cold water could make me worse!” “Don’t worry, the swim to my cave is so brief that you won’t be exposed long and we can warm up and dry you off in that human dwelling Emrul put in the cave for us! And here, this will let you breathe underwater! It is an enchanted necklace Emrul made for me.” Veeris pulled a sapphire pendant from his pocket and put it gently around your neck before easily scooping you up into his mighty arms. Then he started walking with you right past the broken door and out of the house. You briefly considered screaming for help but there was no one out and about at this hour and even on the off chance someone heard your pleas for help and called the authorities they would never get here in time, and even if that did somehow happen how would Veeris react to your screaming? He could snap your bones without any effort. It was only a quick jog to the sea and when he reached the water’s edge he shed his antique style human clothing before starting the transformation back into an eel man, scales erupting on his arms and legs before his legs joined together and once more became his tail. He held you tight as he slithered into the water and swam as quickly as he could back to his lair. You instinctively held your breath but remembered the charm around your neck that would supposedly allow you to breathe water. It took a lot of will power to force your body to take a breath underwater, but you finally managed to do it and it worked exactly as it was supposed to. You could certainly use this to escape later. Veeris continued carrying you as he slithered into the large enchanted part of the cave. He took you into the cabin and, much to your dismay, stripped you of all your clothing. You tried to talk him out of it but he wasn’t having it, he insisted on getting you out of the wet clothing and bundled up in bed, you were sick after all and apparently humans were supposed to stay dry when sick as per your earlier worry about being exposed to the water while ill. He also insisted on cleaning you up and drying you off. The eel man took a soft rag and gently washed your body of all the water before bundling you up in the softest blankets you had ever felt and having you lay in the humongous bed. Veeris had never slept in a human style bed before, but this one was enchanted to support his full weight and made to dimensions to fit his full size. He found it very comfortable as he slithered into it, fitting you perfectly into his oddly warm coils. You had thought yourself free of this whole mess but now here you were, naked except for some blankets, snuggled up in the tail of a merman who was determined to prove himself to be a perfect mate for you. One day. Just one day and you would have been significantly farther. Not that that necessarily would have stopped him, but it might have. At the very least it would have given you more time. It was hard to go asleep with the massive man surrounding you, but eventually you did manage to get a few shaky hours of rest before waking up to something poking you in your thigh. You opened your eyes to find he was no longer coiled around you and instead spooning you, and his cock had gone erect in his sleep and slid out of his genital slit and was now leaking pre all over you. You feared the size of it, at least he currently thought you ill and hopefully wouldn’t try to mate with you. There was no way that thing was going in without at least some pain. You managed to suppress the urge to push him away from you, but you didn’t want to wake him up and have to deal with him. That task became impossible though when he began slowly fucking your thighs from behind in his sleep. You began shouting and struggling, but it did nothing to wake him. Thankfully whatever erotic dreams were leading to him to such behavior dissipated before he splooged all over you. He finally woke up, with his cock still between your thighs. He blushed and looked away shyly. “O-oh, I am so sorry my little angelfish, I… didn’t mean to uh…, well anyway your clothes are dry now.” But of course, he still had to dress you. You were there for several days, with each day seemingly getting just a slight bit better. You couldn’t stay sick indefinitely, what if he got his magic friend to diagnose you and tell you he was faking? He said her medical magic and remedies were species specific and she didn’t know how to heal humans, but what if he chanced it if you stayed ill? You couldn’t take the risk so instead you gradually acted like you were healing. The entire time he waited on you hand and foot, it was suffocating, he did not even take time to go hunt for himself. Instead he relied on the human food that grew there, even though it wasn’t what he was adapted to. He was overjoyed when you finally “got better.” And you were happy he did not have to be so smothering. No more being fed or bathed or watched over as if you were the most fragile thing to ever exist. When he finally left to go and hunt for the first time since you had been there you had to fight the urge to immediately make a run for it. You had no idea how long he was typically gone, you needed to wait a few days so that you could memorize his outside activities. Veeris, meanwhile, was so happy that his perfect siren had gotten well and was now staying with him. He considered all the time he spent caring for you to be a good substitute for your traditional courtship and dating. Plus every time he returned from any hunting or other necessary outings he always brought you back some gifts, a shiny stone or shell that caught his eye or other such treasures of the sea, and you always accepted and thanked him for these things. If that wasn't successful courtship he didn't know what was. It had now been days since your recovery from your "illness" and you felt that you finally had the ability to accurately predict approximately how long his outings would take. After he left, and when you had figured that he was far enough away as to be out of sight, you grabbed the pendant that allowed you to breathe underwater and started to make your way to the pool that led out of the cave. But in a tragic stroke of bad luck Veeris had found prey almost immediately right outside his den and was already on his way back as you left. Veeris was stunned when he smacked right into you as he was entering the tunnel back to the lair. After a moment of shocked silence he growled furiously and wrapped his tail around you tightly and hauled you right back into the tunnel you had just come out of. Fuck. Everything clicked for Veeris. This whole time you had faked illness to get out of your date with him. But that’s okay, he wasn’t above keeping you against your will. That was, after all, what he had attempted to do originally. You just had to be shown your place while he proved he was the only mate for you. Your fear in that moment was beyond anything that you had ever felt before, you had no idea what he would do or whether or not he would hurt you. Kicking and punching him did nothing to remove you from his thick coils, when he hauled himself out of the water he carried you aloft with the end of his tail and took you back to the cabin. Once there he slammed you hard into the bed, knocking the air out of you. “You were really going to leave me my wonderful angelfish?” He sounded as though he was on the verge of tears. “After all the gifts and how well I have treated you??” “Please just… let me go…” “NO! You’ll be happy here! I’m the only mate for you and we spent so much time together! I just have to show you, just give it more time and I will get you to love me back eventually, okay my siren?” Veeris was unstable, equal parts heartbreak, despair, denial, anger, and love. “I-I hate you, you fucking freak!” For a moment your anger at being kidnapped by this insane merman overcame your fear of him. You regretted it almost instantly. Such blunt words cut Veeris’ heart, causing him great cognitive dissonance. And he was also angered at you being so ungrateful, he had this whole little world in this cave tailor made just for you, when he thought you were sick he took care of you, and he always gave you tokens of love. Seeing the fury in your eyes you backed up until you were against the headboard. “S-sorry. I didn’t mean i-” He pulled you by the legs back towards him as you tried to get away from him. In Veeris’ mind you had to love him, at least on some level, it didn’t make sense that you didn’t. His brain couldn’t entertain the notion. You saying you hated him clashed with his belief and caused him discomfort and pain until he could resolve it in a logical manner. But now with a frightening smirk on his face everything fell into place. He had to utterly dominate you. You didn’t want an overly gentle mate at all times. You clearly wanted him to prove he was strong and worthy. And you were probably in denial about it too. It all made sense. He needed to overpower and ravage you until you accepted it. You flailed as you remained on your back, still being yanked towards him, all the while he stared at you with a very uncharacteristic grin. “V-Veeris?” Suddenly your pants and underwear were torn off followed shortly by your shirt, leaving you exposed under his unhinged gaze. Veeris bent down and used his insanely long tongue to lick all over you, from your neck down to between your legs. His large slimy cock and balls were now out of his genital slit and he was fully erect. The size of it truly scared you. “No! Please! Don-” You were cut off by that long tong plunging into your mouth and probing every inch, gagging you as it explored a bit down your throat. As he did this he coiled his tail around you almost unbearably tight. He broke the kiss and then positioned you to be turning away from him. You could feel his hot cock from behind begin to grind against your very much unlubed entrance. You instinctively flinched in anticipation for the pain, but it only made it much worse for you than if you had tried to relax. Veeris finally finished with the grinding and jammed his fat cock into you unceremoniously. It felt like you had been impaled by a molten spear and you screamed as loud as you could from the pain. It felt as if your hole was being ripped open with how much your body had to stretch to accommodate his dick. With each thrust into you it drove the pain deeper and deeper. Your body would have been shaking with the force of your sobs had you not been so tightly bound by his strong serpentine tail. But his sensitive body was made to detect any and all disturbances in water, so he could feel every sob and gasp and shake, he reveled in it, it was your body submitting to him. As he continued slowly fucking you he licked up all your tasty tears with his long tongue. You were such a beautiful sight, somehow made only more beautiful by your crying and pain. The hurt and trauma of the rape never turned to pleasure, he was not gentle, he was not doing this just for sex. He was doing it to completely dominate you so that you would understand that you were his mate and that he made the rules. He thought it was what you, deep down, needed and even wanted. Veeris refused to go fast, he wanted to savor every delicious stroke of his cock into your blood-lubed hole. You could feel the blood leaking down your thighs, mixed with his precum. You wanted to punch out, or kick, or at the very least hide your head in shame in your pillow to shield your tears from the world and block out the violation that was happening to you. But his body was tight around you, if he was railing you so violently you probably would have noticed the pain the bondage was causing. Veeris kissed your cheek with mock tenderness before whispering into your ear, “You cry so prettily for me my little siren~” Sharp teeth pierced your skin as he bit into your shoulder and then your neck. You blacked out from the pain right as Veeris pumped load after load of hot burning cum deep into your raw abused depths. You woke up over a day later all bandaged up and with a salve that had been inserted inside you to help you heal. Veeris was nowhere to be found. You even called out to him as loudly as you could, though your throat was sore from all the screaming from the day before. No response. You made sure your breathing pendant was still on you, which he foolishly didn’t remove, before hobbling to your feet. You almost collapsed due to the pain, but you pushed past it. Only one short, albeit painful, swim separated you from freedom. You weren’t broken yet. You were crying, your heart was beating erratically in your chest with anxiety, but you still had hope. You could make it. You got to the submerged part of the first room of the cave, your feet at the edge of the water about to step in. Veeris popped up with a splash before you even put a toe in the water. It had all been a test, a trap, he was going to train you to never dare leave one way or another. “Sorry to have set you up like that, but it is the only way you are going to learn your place.” As he slammed you back on to the bed you were kicking, screaming, and blubbering far too incoherently to make out any words. You were sure he was going to rape you again, his cock impaling you and filling you with the worst kind of pain. But he had something a bit more brutal in mind. Your terrified mind couldn’t even comprehend what he was doing as he held your leg with one hand and your leg with the other. Veeris sneered down at you as he twisted your leg in one direction and your foot in the other. There was a sickening snap as he broke your ankle. You screamed louder than you did even when he was fucking you. Mercifully you passed out from the pain and Veeris saw to your injury. He may have taken some pleasure in dominating and hurting you, but he didn’t actually want to cause you harm, didn’t you understand you were making him do these things? No matter, One way or another you would learn you would learn to never try and leave him.

[winged-self-indulgence]

Why Do People Like Yanderes?

Hi everyone, my name is Diya, and this was going to be a YT video-essay-type-thing but I'm too poor to afford a mic and too busy with college to learn how to edit videos, so here's my vague exploration of the psychology behind why people like yanderes so much through the lens of my favourite Visual Novels.

TW for uh. yandere content. Mentions of sex, gore, and non-con, particularly in the last topic. This is more like the first draft of an academic paper so while it's not explicit, I do go into some detail.

Introduction

If you’re a fan of anime or visual novels, then you’re probably already aware of what a yandere is, or at the very least you’ve seen that one picture of Yuno Gasai. Still, for the sake of thoroughness, let’s take it from the tippy top. The term ‘yandere’ is a Japanese portmanteau of ‘yanderu’ – the progressive form of ‘yami’ – meaning ‘sick’, and ‘deredere’ which roughly translates to ‘loving’. Together, the word refers to someone who is – in short – extremely lovesick. Obsessive to the extreme, and with little morality to spare, the standard yandere is characterized by a dangerous fixation on a chosen target, often appearing shy and caring at first only to flip the script and become violently aggressive towards perceived threats (Kroon, 2010).

It should be noted that yanderes are not a strictly romantic or sexual trope. The Ancient Greeks classified at least six forms of love, from familial (storge) to guests (xenia). Modern psychologists may distinguish love as either Companionate or Passionate (Kim & Hatfield, 2004) or consisting of three dimensions of Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment (Sternberg & Sternberg, 2018). Realistically, possessiveness shows up in a variety of relationships. However, people are generally primed to view certain dynamics as inherently amorous. Societal norms tend to encourage the idea that romantic bonds ought to rank above all others, and therefore if Person A is bizarrely fixated on Person B, then clearly there must be an element of sexual interest involved regardless of the actual relationship between the individuals in question.

Regardless, yanderes remain quite popular in fiction. Many dismiss it as a fetish, which it can be, but that isn’t the case for everyone. While there is nothing wrong with indulging in kinky fiction, not all of us get horny at the thought of being chained up in someone’s basement, no matter how hot our captor may be. So why is it so pervasive? Why is this trope so appealing that most writers cannot help but include at least a single line of dialogue implying that – if circumstances had been ever so slightly different – my wholesome shoujo romcom might have turned into a psychological horror?

Hybristophilia

‘Hybristophilia’, also known as Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome after the titular criminal couple, is a word is derived from the Greek word ‘hybridzein’ meaning ‘to commit an outrage against someone’ and ‘philo’ which means ‘a strong preference for’. Sexologist John Money reportedly defined it as a paraphilia in which an individual is sexually aroused by a partner who has a predatory history of hurting other people (Money, 1986, as cited in Matuszak, 2017). In his book, Serial Killer Groupies, true crime and crime fiction author RJ Parker distinguished two forms of hybristophilia: passive and aggressive. The former is when an individual contacts a criminal with the intention of striking up a relationship with them, allowing themselves to be seduced and manipulated but having no interest in committing a crime themselves. The latter are far more dangerous, as the individual not only derives sexual pleasure from their partner’s atrocities but are active participants in carrying out or covering up the crime. To quote Griffiths (2013, as cited in Pettigrew, 2019):

“[They] help out their lovers with their criminal agenda by luring victims, hiding bodies, covering crimes, or even committing crimes. They are attracted to their lovers because of their violent actions and want to receive love yet are unable to understand that their lovers are psychopaths who are manipulating them.”

In some ways, hybristophilia is the nearest thing we have to a realistic understanding of why people love yanderes. I mean, much of the fantasy surrounding such characters and their media tend to be filled with posts begging to be spat on or calling the rightfully terrified main character ungrateful for being a teeny bit upset about finding surveillance cameras in their ceiling. However, enjoying fictitious immoral activity does not predict real perpetration, so what does? There exists little consensus amongst psychologists as to what sparks this particular predilection, and that was strange to me. You would think there would be more studies into this topic, in spite of or perhaps because of its controversial nature. Heck, that one dude wouldn’t shut up about white women’s obsession with Bundy and Dahmer, and I assumed he had gotten that information from somewhere, but it turns out that was just him using modifiers to justify sexism.

However, I believe that we can hedge a few guesses, and over the course of my research, I’ve organized the main rationalizations under four umbrellas which I will explore through the lens of my favourite yandere-themed Visual Novels. Please keep in mind that most of these games are rated as mature due to sexual scenes and/or gore. Additionally, in the spirit of transparency, this ramble will be focused exclusively on male or masculine yanderes. So, without further ado:

Call Me Bob the Builder Because I Can Fix Them

If you’re familiar with DC Comic’s Batman, or just happen to have attended any costume event held over the span of the last 20+ years, you may be familiar with the character of Dr. Harleen Quinzel, better known as Harley Quinn. Initially created as the Joker’s one-off sidekick in Batman The Animated Series, she was so well-received by audiences that she became a recurring character in the cartoon and was eventually given a proper origin story in the form of a one-shot titled Mad Love.

Harley’s origin story has seen some alterations over the past decades, but the core aspects remain largely untouched. In the beginning, Harleen Quinzel was a promising young woman who wanted was a degree from the university’s prestigious psychology department, which she gained through…less than scrupulous means.

(Listen, I’m not sure if the authors were leaning on the Dumb Blonde stereotype, or if they simply thought that casting her as a genuinely bad student would make her later actions more believable. Either way, the idea of Harley as someone with a legitimate PhD came later)

After landing an internship at Arkham Asylum – a half-hospital and half-prison straight out of the 1870s that might as well be built out of one-ply tissue-paper soaked with gasoline and left next to a crate of fireworks – Harleen set her sights on the then incarcerated Joker. At the start, her fixation on the criminal wasn’t remotely sympathetic. She didn’t want to help him, she wanted to use him. Harleen Quinzel wanted piggyback off his infamy and write a tell-all tale detailing what sort of messed up childhood resulted in Gotham’s Clown Prince of Crime. Yet the more she interacted with him, the more the Joker took advantage of her empathy. By the end of their sessions, Harley no longer saw him as a violent serial killer with a clown schtick, but as a “lost, injured child looking to make the world laugh at his antics.”

But Diya, you may be asking, what does this have to do with the video? The Joker never loved Harley, and it could even be argued – as Shehadeh did in a 2017 essay – that her obsession with the pasty-faced clown is more akin to Histrionic Personality Disorder. While that may be the case, I believe that Harley’s story provides one of the reasons yanderes are so popular: their backstory.

Whether they were abandoned by their family, bullied by their peers, experimented on by evil scientists, starved on the streets, died under mysterious circumstances and then trapped in a haunted VCR tape for decades, or are simply so impossibly inhuman that they frankly do not understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to imprison their crush in a pocket dimension made of meat and non-Euclidean geometry, yanderes often have fairly sympathetic or at least understandable explanations for why they are Like That. Your mileage may vary significantly depending on how much you sympathize with these motives, but the point is that yanderes always make sense to some degree. Their morality and priorities may be twisted or even completely incomprehensible, but the audience almost always knows the reason, and that can be comforting. In the real world, other people aren’t always straightforward, and we never really know what they’re thinking, but narrative coherence demands a semblance of internal consistency lest the audience end up frustrated and confused. So yanderes are not only easy to sympathize with, but also fairly predictable. In-universe they may be unhinged freaks with a blood fetish, but to you watching from behind the safety of the screen they’re just acting out the script written for them based on a prototype. And if you understand the why behind their loose gears, then you might just be able to put them back together again.

The concept of rescue romances or “I Can Fix Them” has been around in our stories for thousands of years. The Epic of Gilgamesh detailed how Shamhat essentially ‘civilized’ wild man Enkidu through ritual lovemaking, and a concerning number of religions push the idea that women are dutybound to save men from the follies of sin. Yet men are not exempt either, with one notable example being the German fairytale, King Thrushbeard. Call it what you will regardless: Knights in Shining Armour, the Florence Nightingale Effect, or a plain old case of Because You Were Nice to Me, studies have shown that human beings generally like helping [DA2] others, even when the reason doesn’t necessarily stem from pure altruism. I will delve deeper into this later, but care and compassion are deeply ingrained in human nature, and arising from those roots is the appeal of this mentality: You can save them. You can change them. You can make them better. You are special, and the way you treat this person carries a weight that has not and will never be matched by anyone else for the rest of their mortal or immortal existence.

The illusion is a delicious one, especially if the person you’ve helped turns out to be a billionaire CEO with cash to burn, a super powerful ghost king willing to raze continents to dust for you, a demon having fun on a Friday night, or just your average hot creep with a knife. Moreover, different people have different ideas of what ‘fixing’ even means. Maybe you want to single-handedly rehabilitate your yandere into a functional member of society. Maybe you’re cool with the incessant stalking but would like them to stop slaughtering your friends, family, and local service workers. Maybe you want to make them much, much worse.

Not only do yanderes provide immediate proof that your actions have a tangible impact on the lives of others, but the fantasy also includes the desire of being seen as special. Of being admired and adored by someone whose life you inexplicably made better by virtue of simply being yourself, or an idealized version of yourself. In this fictional world, in this imaginary setting, the person you are is so uniquely, impossibly irreplaceable to someone. And if that’s the case then they can’t risk losing you, can they?

The Allure of Obsession, or ‘Til Death Do Us Part (Literally)

It shouldn’t be necessary, but here is my obligatory disclaimer anyway. Ahem: obsession is not a good thing in real life. Fixating on another human to the detriment of your own wellbeing and that of those around you is dangerous, as is encouraging someone else to obsess over you. You might think you are being worshiped, but real life is not a visual novel. The outside world doesn’t come with an age rating, the author’s guiding pen, and a convenient fade to credits sequence once you’ve reached an ending. The consequences will still be there in the morning, so don’t do it. Just don’t.

PSA out of the way, it’s natural to want to be wanted. Maslow’s Hierarchy places it just above physical safety, but I’d argue that it could easily be compared to baser drives. According to many psychological and anthropological studies, much of humanity’s continued survival and environmental dominance is largely attributed to our ability to form groups, cooperate with one another, and maintain complex interpersonal networks. Social support, intimacy, and a sense of belonging are linked to emotional and physical benefits, such as more optimistic health perceptions, higher subjective well-being, increased creativity and innovation, and greater self-efficacy (DeWall & Bushman, 2011; Harandi et al., 2017; Wang & Sha, 2018). Therefore, it’s perfectly understandable that rejection of any sort would be construed as a threat.

But if someone is obsessed with you, then you have no reason to worry about that, right? No more nights spent agonizing over how they feel about you, asking yourself whether your last text made you sound too desperate, or if you’re boring them because you spent the past hour info-dumping about Stardew Valley farm layouts. With a yandere, there will never be any doubt that they care about you. Sure, they might go about it in weird, manipulative, and insidious ways that violate your physical and mental autonomy, but you can’t deny their loyalty. They do love you in their own bizarre way. You are the sun around which they orbit. When you’re in the room, no one else exists. Every single messy flaw is just another bullet point on the mile-long list of why they adore you.

In essence, yanderes are not only attentive, but their love can be virtually unconditional. A yandere might know everything about you, and still revere you. It’s unhealthy as hell and you might genuinely question their taste, but it can be tempting to pretend that all of you, right down to the ugliest parts of yourself – the traits and choices that you would never share with another living soul even at gunpoint – are worthy of understanding, if not open praise and affection.   

Attractiveness, or Okay but Have You Considered That They’re Hot Though?

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I mean what am I supposed to say here? They’re hot, what do you want from me?

No, but in all seriousness, fictional media paints an idealized version of the world, and most yanderes are hot because they have the freedom of existing purely behind that screen; artfully arranged and edited to forever appear compelling to anyone who happens to enjoy their particular style. And there are a lot of styles to choose from. Whether you want them pretty faced and disarmingly cute, or scarred up and big enough to pin you like a butterfly, yanderes come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes that are meant to pique your interest and draw you in like a naïve little fish being lured towards the mouth of an angler fish, unwilling to believe that anything bad might happen to us when the bait is this pretty.

This is often referred to as the Halo Effect, a form of cognitive bias referring to the tendency for people to assume that a single obvious positive trait must be associated with other positive traits. The go-to characteristic is typically physical attractiveness, but a nice voice, good humour, and cooking skills are also factors which serve to influence our perceptions.

So, conventional physical attractiveness is one thing, but that’s only skin deep. What about beyond that? After all, the yandere still has to talk to you before they enact their master plan of tying you up in their basement until Stockholm Syndrome kicks in.

When I showed my friend a picture of John Doe from the game John Doe, she told me that he looked like a creepy slob, and she’s far from the only person who’s ever thought so. Look at them. I feel like if I tried to comb that hair it would simply eat me, and some of the CGs really put the scopophobia in Scopophobia Studios. I love Doe, but he is not hot, and he doesn’t behave in a normally appealing way either. If the player chooses not to take a bath, Doe will immediately comment that you “smell good” before following you home, breaking into your house, and leaving a bloody organ on the floor for the player to trip over. Many yanderes can at least fake a veneer of normalcy, but from the get-go Doe doesn’t even bother to pretend he’s anything less than an otherworldly creature stuffed into a vaguely person-shaped meatsuit. In an effort to find out why so many people had latched on to Doe – including me – I shopped around social media and YouTube for answers, and what I found was a widely unanimous sentiment.

While some were drawn to his fun design and goofy personality, most simply thought that he wasn’t inherently malevolent, just very confused. In addition to being a supernatural being with a completely alien axis of morality, Doe’s meta-awareness and unbridled attempts at winning the player’s affection lends him quite a bit of support from the audience, especially if you yourself also happen to struggle with social cues and relate to his pure earnestness. In Ending 7 of the extended version, the player character has the option to tell Doe – who has altered himself to pass as more ‘normal’ – that they prefer who he truly is, at which point he grows visibly flustered and sports an adorable pair of literal heart-shaped pupils.

Whether they’re charismatic, seductive, cute, sweet, funny, nurturing, or generous, the best yanderes have engaging personalities. Even while they’re committing truly heinous crimes against God, man, and your guts, you still kinda want to hang out with them, and you want them to acknowledge you as being just as interesting. And this is all fine in fiction because you’re the one in charge, and if you ever get bored or uncomfortable or busy with something else, then you can simply close the tab or window with zero consequences, which brings us to the final and most important reason.     

Power Dynamics and Consent in Fantasy (I Couldn’t Think of a Joke Here Guys, This Is Kinda Serious)

Once again, I feel that I must preface this section just for the sake of my own peace of mind: sexual coercion and assault are vile and disgusting crimes that should never be emulated or tolerated in the real world. We are speaking purely of fictional media, specifically adult-oriented media in this case, so please be mindful.

In 2009, Bivoni and Critelli conducted a study on 355 undergraduate women with the goal of assessing the reasons behind fantasies of non-consent. At the time, there were two leading explanations of this phenomenon. One stated that women with high libidos but repressed views of sex used these imaginary scenarios to alleviate the guilt they had grown to associate with sex. Because the simulation was a purely mental exercise and they themselves were cast as helpless victims in the scenario, they were able to remain blameless while still finding sexual gratification. The second stated that these fantasies were an expression of liberation by women who were adventurous and comfortable enough with their own sexuality to engage with taboo ideas that they weren’t at all interested in performing in real life. Which do you think was more common?

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If you guessed the second option, you’d be right. The study found that of the 220 women who had experienced such fantasies, 45% found theirs erotic, 46% were mixed, and only 9% reported pure aversion. One justification for this outcome relies on psycho-biological theories, for example masochistic preferences or the unintended activation of the sympathetic nervous system and subsequent mis-attribution of arousal. Other reasons have to do with higher order thinking and are tied to the power dynamics within such fantasies. On the surface is the appeal of being so desirable to someone that they simply cannot control themselves, but then there is a deeper impulse, which the researchers referred to as Adversary Transformation. To quote the article: “[fantasies] involve a struggle between an assailant and a potential victim in which it is relevant to consider who is the winner and who is the loser. At one level, it is a struggle over sex, but the woman's non-consent may be feigned or token. At another level, the woman may be seeking a victory that is not about whether sex occurs, but about what happens emotionally between the protagonists.”

Basically, the imaginary perpetrator may have ‘won’, but the self-character need not have ‘lost’.

Media provides an extra layer to the illusion, one that you as the viewer have absolute control over. If you are choosing to engage with a piece of media that explicitly labels itself as including R18+ yandere content, then you clearly have some expectations, and that background awareness goes a long way in reducing long-term discomfort and allowing audiences to make informed decisions. If you don’t like the plot, you can simply turn it off it with the click of a button, and when the screen goes dark it’s not like the yandere is going to punish you for saying no. Strade isn’t going to break into your house with a drill, there are no homicidal clown ghosts hiding in your TV, and no suspicious pink-haired hackers watching your webcam. They aren’t real, and the consequences aren’t real either. You have all the power here.

Conclusion

In summary, Yanderes are appealing for a variety of reasons. Whether you want to save them, think they’re attractive, wish to indulge in a dream of being utterly coveted, or simply enjoy a bit of spice in your me-time, it’s obvious why the trope has persisted for so long and will likely continue to do so. If you enjoy yanderes but are worried that having a taste for the less wholesome side of things might imply something about who you are as a person, don’t be. The notion that fantasies and media preferences directly reflect subconscious desires is not only painfully out of date debunked nonsense but also indicative of restrictive ideologies wherein bad thoughts = sin. This isn’t 1984. You haven’t committed a thought-crime by having a weird kink. You aren't going to superhell for fantasizing. The human mind is hardly ever so mathematically rational, and the point of fiction is to allow us to safely engage with and explore various ideas, provided the everyone involved is mentally, chronologically, and emotionally mature enough to do so.

Thank you all for listening to me. If you learned something or were just a little bit entertained. If you're curious about knowing more, I've listed my sources below

REFERENCES

Bivona, J. M., & Critelli, J. W. (2009). The Nature of Women’s Rape Fantasies: An analysis of prevalence, frequency, and contents. Journal of Sex Research, 46(1), 33–45. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490802624406

Critelli, J. W., & Bivona, J. M. (2008). Women’s Erotic Rape Fantasies: An Evaluation of Theory and research. Journal of Sex Research, 45(1), 57–70. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490701808191

DeWall, C. N., & Bushman, B. J. (2011). Social acceptance and rejection. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20(4), 256–260. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721411417545

Flynn, F. J., Reagans, R., Amanatullah, E. T., & Ames, D. R. (2006). Helping one’s way to the top: Self-monitors achieve status by helping others and knowing who helps whom. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91(6), 1123–1137. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.6.1123

Harandi, T. F., Taghinasab, M. M., & Nayeri, T. D. (2017). The correlation of social support with mental health: A meta-analysis. Electronic Physician, 9(9), 5212–5222. https://doi.org/10.19082/5212

Hazen, H. (1983). Endless rapture: rape, romance, and the female imagination. https://openlibrary.org/books/OL3161300M/Endless_rapture

Kroon, R. W. (2010). A/V A to z: An Encyclopedic Dictionary of Media, Entertainment and Other Audiovisual Terms. McFarland.

Matuszak, M. (2017). Hybristophilia White Paper. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/55dfd21ee4b0718764fb34cc/t/5cb7cabee5e5f00ab13be58b/1555548863275/Hybristophilia+White+Paper.pdf

Oarga, C., Stavrova, O., & Fetchenhauer, D. (2015). When and why is helping others good for well-being? The role of belief in reciprocity and conformity to society’s expectations. European Journal of Social Psychology, 45(2), 242–254. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2092

Parker, R. (2014). Serial killer groupies. RJ PARKER PUBLISHING, INC.

Wang, T., & Sha, H. (2018). The influence of social rejection on cognitive control. Psychology, 09(7), 1707–1719. https://doi.org/10.4236/psych.2018.97101

[aethon-recs]

2024 Update to Tomarrymort Longfic Recs — 8 additional fics

I wanted to add 8 lovely new longfics that have been published since the last time I put together this rec list — 6 more for the Intermediate reads list and 2 more for Advanced. Hopefully you’ll find something within these additional 950k words of absolutely brilliant Tomarrymort fic to sink your teeth into and enjoy:

Longfic rec list collection:

Tomarrymort Beginner reads are the fics I would use to introduce someone to the ship and help them get a baseline for the variety, themes, and tropes that best represent our ship;

Intermediate reads are for readers that are already familiar/sold on the ship, and are looking for fics that explore interesting new facets of the Tomarrymort dynamic; 

Advanced reads comprise challenging works of some nature, whether the writing features more complex subject matter and/or pushes the boundaries of what’s possible in a piece of fanfic.

Please enjoy these 8 additions to the list, all of which are either completed or still updating as of 2024!

*

Intermediate Longfic Recs

A Light That Never Goes Out by @kippipies (M, 80k, WIP)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Harry is the target of a dangerous crime lord called Voldemort and his gang of Death Eaters in a modern mafia AU. Why I rec it: This is a delightful, high-energy caper of a fic in which Harry is a scrappy low-time criminal who accidentally crosses crime boss Voldemort. Naturally, Voldemort sets his sights on getting revenge, but Harry slips through his fingers at the last minute each time. The action scenes in this fic are incredibly dynamic and super fun — I felt like I was watching an action movie at each confrontation between Harry and Voldemort.

And the Living Will Envy the Dead by @k-s-morgan (M, 81k, WIP)

Setting: Time Travel (1940s) Premise: If Harry were flung back in time to Tom’s sixth year and almost immediately reveals he is Tom’s horcrux, setting off a chain reaction of obsession and control.  Why I rec it: An intricately crafted character study of Tom and how he gained control over the rest of Slytherin House by the time Harry meets him at the start of sixth year. Harry’s arrival throws Tom’s plans off-kilter, especially once Harry reveals he was Tom’s horcrux in another timeline. This leads Tom to believe the other version of him had somehow loved Harry, and shows him that it’s possible to form such a connection with Harry here if he wants, despite how dark, cruel, and violent he turned out and how little he cares for others. 

By Any Means by @corpium (E, 74k, WIP)

Setting: Alternate Universe Premise: If Harry has a younger brother Evan who is the Boy-Who-Lived, yet Harry’s overprotective actions towards Evan end up attracting the attention of Voldemort directly onto himself. Why I rec it: This is a really engaging and fast-paced adaptation of canon events if Harry were born 2 years earlier and his younger brother were the one that the prophecy applied to. The relationship between Harry and Evan is really sweet, as they share the burden of growing up at the Dursleys and all the adventures that Harry underwent in canon. There’s also such a fascinating exploration of magic as Harry gradually becomes more powerful as a result of all the trials that he’s put through, eventually becoming powerful enough to attract the attention of Voldemort. 

Pledged by @moontearpensfic (E, 118k, WIP)

Setting: Alternate Universe Premise: If Harry and Tom are best friends that enter together into a Hunger Games-crossed-with-Triwizard Tournament in their seventh year.  Why I rec it: This fic depicts co-dependency to such an intense degree between Harry and Tom. Not only are they inseparable best friends throughout their time at Hogwarts, they also perform a cooperative magic ritual that binds their magic to each other permanently, and allows them to share thoughts and feelings with each other across a mental link. There’s also an intriguing mystery at the heart of this story, as Harry and Tom try to figure out the origins of the Triwizard-style tournament that they enter into in their seventh year. 

Revolution of Configured Stars by @tollingreminiscentbells (E, 153k, WIP)

Setting: Voldemort Wins AU Premise: If Harry was raised in a pureblood family in a universe where Voldemort wins, and ends up attracting the attention of Voldemort in his seventh year at Hogwarts.  Why I rec it: This is such an intricate, incredibly thoughtful depiction of a society where Voldemort won and Harry was raised as a ward of a pureblood family. By the time it’s Harry’s seventh year, he’s a budding Arithmancy scholar who wants to explore whether it’s possible to choose the optimal timeline via arithmantic calculations, which catches the attention of Voldemort. Voldemort and Harry’s relationship unfolds in such a steamy way, and they truly feel like equals who hold each other in high regard, as Voldemort reveals that they have been inextricably linked by fate, whether or not he ended up trying to kill Harry as a baby in this particular timeline. 

the stars, my destination by @milkandmoon-ao3 (M, 15k, WIP)

Setting: Time Travel (Marauders Era) Premise: If Harry is sent back in time as an infant and adopted into the Potter family, growing up and attending Hogwarts alongside James.  Why I rec it: There is a dearth of Harrymort fics set in Marauders Era so it is such a delight to read about Harry’s friendships and rivalries with Marauders Era characters, like being best friends with Regulus and Quidditch rivals with James. As Harry starts his sixth year, the First Wizarding War heats up in the background and begins spilling into their life at Hogwarts as many of their classmates are recruited to fight on either side of it. All the while that he has to keep secret the strange mental connection that he’s had with the Dark Lord all his life. 

*

Advanced Longfic Recs

Hearthstone Abbey (Series) by @ramabear (E, 152k, WIP series)

Setting: Soulmate AU Premise: If second year Harry is plucked away from his canon universe by Voldemort from another universe who is his soulmate. Why I rec it: I wholly melted at all the ways Voldemort takes care of Harry in this fic, better treatment than Harry’s ever gotten in his entire life, and Harry is so lovable and adorable in turn. Voldemort has established himself as a religious figurehead/cult leader in the alternate universe, and it was very interesting to read about his alternate path to power. The soft grooming in this fic was so so delicious, ramping up in intensity as the fic progresses; Voldemort completely dotes on Harry and their dynamic is so sweet and tender, a very nice counterbalance to the sinister and predatory tones that underlie their relationship.

if we were lovers by @reggieblk (E, 277k, complete)

Setting: Non-Magical AU Premise: If Harry and Tom meet in a prestigious drama programme and fall for each other against a backdrop of high stakes threatre productions.  Why I rec it: The character work is so rich and detailed in this coming-of-age story in a modern AU setting. It’s clear there was so much thought that went into all the character interactions here, not only between Harry and Tom, but also the ensemble cast of characters who inject so much heart and humor into this story as well. I love the way that @reggieblk cleverly weaves in elements from Shakespeare’s plays and uses the theatre backdrop to depict how the love story between Harry and Tom unfolds — their developing relationship feels, at the same time, both very immersive and cozy, as well as highly fraught with tension. (As a bonus, there is an absolutely amazing original play in the interlude chapter that was written specifically for this fic!)

*

[chonideno]

literally where can the zelda franchise go after totk. this is it. we've reached it. the pinnacle of video game entertainment. the whole dev team should just pack their stuff and enjoy a long and comfortable retirement. whoever decides their team has to follow-up on that with the next zelda game should answer for their crimes at the hague. what the fuck. I haven't even beat the game yet but what the fuck.

and how are AAA video game devs everywhere not losing their minds. how the hell did nintendo do any of that? and on that console?? you mean to tell me I can stack 15 differently shaped objects on top of each other and they don't vibrate violently into the skybox?? you mean to tell me the physics engine gladly accepts whatever I throw at it and holds it all together without dropping a frame while running on a machine that was outclassed two generations ago??? this is not witchcraft it's a grandiose demonstration of mastery over every aspect of game development that casts an immense shadow over every other AAA studio. fuck. fuck!!!!

everything about this game is crazy to me. the visuals are crazy. the soudtrack is crazy. the complexity of all systems and how they interact is crazy. the sheer amount of non-repeating content, NPCs, quests, dialogue, puzzles, environment variety - all crazy to me. every time I boot up this game I am humbled by the monumental effort and obvious love that went into every facet of the resulting experience. no cut corners anywhere. mirror-perfect chrome polish.

it's so rare we get something like that, in any field. I'd understand if nintendo never made a zelda game ever again because how do you follow that. god I hope everyone who worked on this game got the fattest check and the sloppiest head. I'm so happy I get to live in shigeru miyamoto's world

[evilminji]

Would Amity Parkers be Immune, specifically, to the Zombie Virus?

Cause think about it, they are all Ecto-contaminated. Maybe not all LIMNAL but at the very least? The closer they lived and worked to that Ecto Hot Spot? The thicker it runs in their blood.

And Ectoplasm?

Don't Play That.

Full stop.

What am I talking about? Basically, Yes. All the things. If it's a Thing, Ectoplasm would Prefer It NOT. Ectoplasm is corrosive AF. Aggressive AF. Will eat and eat and eat. And who would win?

Primordial Semi-Feral Plasma... or a virus.

Their immune systems are non-existent. Gutted and replaced by the goo in their veins. Virus goes in, thunder dome proceeds. Victory, as always, to The Goo. Which MEANS?

Zombies are just low-grade HIGHLY SHITY ghosts to them. Probably the result of someone fucking around with crude, man-made Ectoplasm in a disease research facility. These guys are knockoffs of the most OBNOXIOUS variety. But unfortunately... there are a lot of them.

Bummer :/

So like? Everyone's all "oh no! You've been bitten! Oh woe is you!" And they're just like " D:> MY SHIRT! That was my LAST CLEAN SHIRT! Those BASTARDS!" Because?

Lol. What's a bite gonna do? Give um, at WORST, a mild fever for like an hour?

You guys, however! Should get behind the barricades! Let us handle this! Shoo, shoo! It's not SAFE for you! Don't worry, we brought miss Lunch Lady. Dinner's in 5. And the Yetis are already dead, so they're fine!

Anyway~☆ *violent swing* *takes a zombies head off*

@hdgnj @hypewinter @lolottes @ailithnight @babbling-babull @nerdpoe

[talkbycolor]

on the other side.

A/N; sigo ardido con la gente cis pero sigo horny

Pairing; "John Doe" x AFAB!Reader

CW; glory wall, ou yea, from here you can already tell this has sex / creampie ofc, unprotected sex, kinda public too, rough and messy / one eye doe my little meowmeow / tentacle hair dick. yes. you heard me. / non-con mgmhgmh

How did you end up in a situation like this? You simply wanted to move to a new city, go to your new job, and have a quiet life.

In The Uncanny Valley? You expected too much.

Your escape from that Mason had been successful but you were trapped in another problem, to be more precise, you had run like a headless chicken, full of fear.

And you crashed against the wall, leaving your body stuck.

It's not that bad, you didn't have brain damage, although the gap was too narrow for you to get out of there quickly.

"It's okay, I'm not afraid, a house tried to eat me, I'm not afraid, there's debris in my hair, I'm not afraid!" You repeated, perhaps in a tone that someone without fear wouldn't say but somehow you had to relax, the situation wasn't… flattering for you.

"Hello! Hello?! Someone, please help me! Help!" You shouted but there didn't seem to be anyone around.

Or so you thought.

Something strange crawled up your leg, unfortunately, you couldn't see it but the only description that could be given was… a tentacle of hair?

"Hey! What the fuck?! WHO IS THIS?! IT'S NOT FUNNY!" You shouted confused.

But there was no response.

The hair tentacles soon stopped, making you sigh, at least they weren't touching you anymore but you knew something was still there.

Then a heavy breath reached your ears, and not only that, a pair of hands with… four fingers? He pulled down your pants insistently, that was finally what broke the glass and the panicked tears came to your eyes.

"ENOUGH! LEAVE ME ALREADY! I-I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE! LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE!"

He tore your pants, he tore your fucking pants, whatever was on the other side of the wall was going to destroy you and you knew it.

"M-MY LOVE! HERE YOU ARE! I'm so glad Mason didn't kill you~ that would have really driven me crazy, how would I be able to go on without you?!" That voice, whoever it was, knew about Mason and knew about you, maybe a stalker.

A stalker with a very clever tongue.

Huh?

"O-Oh god! Wait! MGH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THERE?!" you screamed as you tried to kick your legs, it was difficult to hold your body on the other side of the wall but the person on the other side considered it child's play because he held your legs with ease, leaving you motionless.

"D-don't-…! Huff* Huff* Don't worry, honey! After this we'll go home and cuddle together!" That voice sounded uneasy, saying bizarre things so casually, the tone was terrifying.

But it was difficult to think with a tongue pushing into your pussy, it was strange that he sucked the vaginal lips and licked like a dog, sniffing as if he were tasting the best lunch of his life and wanted to remember every detail perfectly, like a hungry stray.

"NO! NO! NO! ENOUGH! I DON'T WANT TO, I DON'T LIKE IT!" It was so humiliating to have someone sticking their nose to your hole while they filled your entrance with saliva, so much saliva as if you were made of honey and it melted them.

The worst part is that you were getting wet.

"I'm going to put it inside, dear! p-please relax" the panting voice requested.

That wasn't a dick, it was hair.

"BUT WHAT THE FUCK?! GET OFF! GET OFF NOW!" You begged between cries, kicking was useless and you tore your throat in screams, hoping that the stranger would have compassion.

A variety of hair tentacles caressed your ass while one of them entered your pussy, it felt so strange and uncomfortable, nausea had invaded you.

"A-After this let's go home and watch TV! I want to hug you all night, s-sleep in your arms!~"

Too loving words for a monster, because that's what it was, the tentacles of hair invaded both of your entrances and pushed violently inside you, causing spasms.

Then you vomited, you couldn't take it anymore, you were drowning in tears while a stranger fucked you.

You were very sure that you were even bleeding, you wanted to escape but you were still stuck in the wall, the kicks you wanted to give were useless and even if you could now you were too weak.

You couldn't faint, you seriously wanted, anything to not have to endure that, not be conscious, not hear, feel, see your vomit.

Then came the first discharge, a mirror and hot strange liquid, you didn't need to know what it was, the feeling of being full was disgusting.

And the monster didn't stop, he continued to hit his hips against your ass, you were sniffling, crying, drooling, maybe your mind wasn't even there anymore, your body and the distant sound of the monster moaning and breathing heavily filled the air.

Just a couple of hours later he pulled away from you, the absence made you moan shakily, your stomach felt strange and a waterfall of semen came out of both your pussy and your ass.

He broke the wall and held your body so you wouldn't fall, he was gentle when carrying your body

"Let's go home, love"

In those kinds of moments, all you could do was nod and try to snuggle into his chest, you were cold, half-naked and in pain.

♡

[0046incognito]

What’s the main lore behind CMY2K? I’m a little lost on it so I thought I might ask! :)

no worries! it's probably not just you being a little lost and moreso my fault for never actually explaining anything on my public art blog, i really should start doing all my OCposting here OTL i've also had a habit of being intentionally vague about what actually Happens to avoid spoilers, but the main basic lore isn't really spoiling anything, so now i both have an excuse to infodump and procrastinate animating for a couple more hours^_^ please excuse me if this is mildly rambly and incoherent my brain is a confusing stress-induced psychosis-inflicted sludge

Cyber Mind : Year 2000 is a psychological horror set in an alternate 1999 in which lifelike consumer-grade humanoid androids are about as popular as the personal computer. the Halosoft Electronics Corporation basically has a monopoly on consumer robots, especially with their many lines of LiviComs [or, Living Computer androids]

Hibiki Himura is a mute robot kid who woke up alone in a dumpster on New Year's Day with his memory completely wiped, only knowing his own name and primary function [housekeeping], and being able to deduce A) he must've done something wrong if someone threw him in the trash, and B) halosoft doesn't mass-produce robots that look and act and think like children for Ethical Reasons, so he must be a custom model, meaning he must've done something REALLY wrong if someone was disappointed in him enough to throw out a perfectly functional personally-customized extremely expensive brand-new robot

with livicoms jailbreaking themselves to be able to violate the three laws of robotics and harm humans at a seemingly alarming rate, hibiki is less preoccupied with tracking down whoever threw him out and more concerned with protecting humanity from rogue robots, both out of obligation to the three laws [and his extremely, Extremely, ABSURDLY strict moral compass] and out of a determined Obsessive need to prove that he is useful and capable enough to NOT get thrown out again. for a ten year old, he is REALLY hard on himself and self-sacrificing to an alarming extent

hibiki is joined on his quest to protect humanity by his eccentrically affectionate mentor Voltaire, an electrician livicom who is pretty much singlehandedly responsible for Acid City, New Jersey's ENTIRE electrical grid and taught hibiki how to use, basically, robot psychic powers; Cain Cohen, a cyborg teenage runaway with a baseball bat and unquenchable thirst for "murderizing robots he feels have wronged him"; and Jack Jillard, a stern gruff construction livicom who feels obligated to keep cain and hibiki out of trouble when they wind up staying with him. none of these three appear in the student film i'm working on and i Will be reworking them over the summer BUT they are essential to the lore and main plot

in Regards to the main plot, beyond hibiki's POV, a lotta livicoms do seem kinda on the fritz since new year's, whether by lashing out violently for apparently minuscule reasons, or just simply refusing to work, or just committing suicide! all three of which are in direct violation with all Three laws of robotics, indicating these bots are all Jailbroken. jailbreaking refers to the act of modifying an electronic's software for any purpose beyond the manufacturer's intent. with livicoms, this can be done for a wide variety of minor reasons from installing a new non-standard voice to knowing Way more about safe BDSM practices than default, and it can be done both by humans to their livicoms or, rarely [and strangely as livicoms are supposed to be locked out of their own software settings], livicoms can do it to themselves.

the Really concerning instances of jailbreaking are when the three laws of robotics [as written by isaac asimov: don't harm humans, obey orders given by humans unless harmful, protect own existence unless harmful or disobedient] are either modified or removed entirely. changing the priority order of the three laws is especially common for some reason, IE doing such things as prioritizing self-preservation over obedience, but the worst cases are livicoms that are no longer forbidden from harming humans, and often have reason to feel justified in doing so--but even in such cases, plenty of them seem distressed or horrified at the thought that they hurt somebody, so it's strange....

CMY2K's themes include such topics as: free will, the horror of having one's autonomy violated, moral scrupulosity, self-actualization, worker's rights, ableism, psychosis&unreality, transhumanism&transgenderism, suicidal ideation, OCD&intrusive thoughts, dehumanization&objectification, and you should quit that stupid fucking job that you hate

[xxlovelynovaxx]

Okay this is what I wrote that whole post about antitransmasculinity/antitransfemininity vs transandrophobia/transmisogyny about.

Transandrophobia isn't "our oppression" as transmascs any more than transmisogyny is "our oppression" as transfems.

People who are not transfems and transmascs experience these things. In particular, nonbinary people who are neither transmasc nor transfem (or who are afab transfems/amab transmascs) often experience one or both of these things frequently and systemically. This is often due to transphobes misgendering them as transmasc or transfem and in large part due to biological essentialism.

(Unfortunately, I've seen the same misgendering from the trans community insisting that because someone was misgendered as transmasc or transfem that that makes them "politically" transmasc or transfem. I've also seen a LOT of biological essentialism on afab=transmasc amab=transfem shit from the trans community.)

Actually, anyone who experiences transandrophobia is the authority on it, and anyone who doesn't, isn't. Same with transmisogyny, ceterophobia, exorsexism, etc. And people who are the authority on it are not the authority on who CAN'T experience it, nor on what it CAN'T be - only that people of their identity CAN and that THEIR experiences are part of it.

Acting like you are the ultimate authority on a type of oppression because your identity experiences it more frequently and/or intensely... yeah, no. You are an authority, and one of the most important ones, sure.

But I'll even go so far as to say this attitude is blatant, if unintentional, exorsexism.

Because those of us who are neither transmasc nor transfem, or who are both, or who face the oppression that "belong" to both because of presentation, being GNC, or intersex/altersex identity...

It's our oppression too. More than you ever will acknowledge.

We're the ones most frequently cut out of these discussions, or in cases of being multiple rather than neither, condescended to to explain "well of COURSE we meant you, we only directly contradicted you and explicitly excluded you by saying people of your other identities don't understand or experience this because you should already KNOW that doesn't apply to you since you are the Right Identity, except you're less of it because of your other identities anyway so you don't matter, off you fuck".

And quite frankly, people who are neither don't even get that, they just get "well, you're transmasc or transfem for the sake of these discussions, misgendering nonbinary people is okay when they don't fit into a masc/fem binary and agreeing with the violent bigots that initially misgendered you about your identity while shoving you right back into a binary is fine and even good actually, as long as that binary isn't man/woman, even if we're basing that binary assignment on your assigned gender like garden variety transphobes"

I thought we already hashed out "gendered transphobia isn't based on your actual identity, but what you're perceived as or even what bigots find convenient and useful". I thought we hashed out "non transfems can experience transmisogyny and non transmascs can experience transandrophobia". I'm pretty sure we even covered "not being a member of the group that is typically the primary target of a type of bigotry doesn't make it hurt any less, nor does it mean you can't be targeted just as much or even more than some members of that group, both interpersonally and systemically".

Like did we miss "experiencing a type of oppression makes you an authority on it, whether or not you're specific identity is 'supposed to' experience it"? Did we miss "believing people not just that their experiences exist, but about the intensity, frequency, and intentionality of their experiences is not negotiable"? Or maybe it was "there's no 'misdirected' bigotry or 'intended' targets, because bigots were trying to specifically hurt the person they attacked"? Because I'm pretty sure we covered all those too.

Maybe the next topic should be "we don't hold ownership over oppression". Standing over a type of oppression and growling like a dragon over their hoard and breathing fire at anyone who says "hey this belongs to me too" helps no one. I thought the whole point was that we wanted the hoard NOT to exist and NO ONE to be able to claim ownership anyway.

This is why I include things other than transandrophobia (including transmisogyny) in my definition of antitransmasculinity, and vice versa for transfemininity; and why I use gendered transphobia terms like transandrophobia and transmisogyny equally inclusively of EVERYONE who experiences them. Because if we're talking about "our" oppression for transmascs or transfems specifically, we're talking about so many more types than just transandrophobia or transmisogyny. And if we're talking about transandrophobia or transmisogyny, we're talking about more than just transfems and transmascs.

And to end: even by your rules, I have a right to an opinion on this, because I am transfemmasc, among other things. If transmascs/transfems are the final authority on "our" oppression", as the authority, I say we are not the final nor only authority.

I say that anyone who has experienced transandrophobia/transmisogyny is actually the authority on it, regardless of identity, and anyone who has not is not, even if they are transmasc/transfem (rare cases, but for these purposes I'm including people who claim not to have experienced these things to claim they don't exist, as an example, even if they later realize they have actually experienced them).

The authority on a type of bigotry, at least for gendered bigotry, includes everyone who has experienced it, period. And gendered transphobia isn't any of "our" oppression - it's all of "ours" but it doesn't "belong" to any of us. In fact the whole point of oppressive systems is kinda that it "belongs" to our oppressors. They are the ones wielding it as a weapon; they are the ones holding ownership of power over us. Transandrophobia, transmisogyny, etc - it's theirs, and we're not trying to take that oppression or power for ourselves (in the sense of reversing the dynamic, not in the sense of "becoming empowered".

We're trying to destroy it. Arguing over who it "belongs" to is antithetical to that.

[soracities]

Teju Cole, interviewed by Aleksandar Hemon for Bomb Magazine

[Text ID: “What do I believe in? Imagination, gardens, science, poetry, love, and a variety of non-violent consolations. I suspect that in aggregate all this isn’t enough, but it’s where I am for now.“]

[nonpracticinghumanbeing]

So Izzy said a thing.

The thing seems to be a part of a redemption arc and makes him sound like a human rather than a monster.

The Canyon went wild with joy and jubilation. The haters are doing everything they can to rationalize the thing in a way that would fit their point of view. One of these things makes me feel like a part of a wonderful, welcoming, and very queer community. The other makes me perplexed, annoyed, and sad at the same time - in a way that feels very personal.

OFMD is an explicitly and unapologetically queer show. And not just that, it shows a variety of non-normative behaviors (Jackie’s polyamory, Geraldo’s humiliation kink, Lucius and Pete’s penchant for “having an audience” to say nothing of Izzy’s masochistic tendencies) in a completely non-judgmental way, making the viewer feel like all ways of performing one’s sexuality are valid.

Izzy wants to be a part of this world. For all his anger and manipulations, and (yes, let’s call him out for the sake of fairness) his abusive behaviors, he desperately wants to be a part of the world where he is free to love who he loves, in whatever way he is capable of doing so. No matter how much the haters don’t want to acknowledge it, this is ultimately a story about love. Both Con and Daddy Jenkins admitted Izzy is in love with Edward and the fact that the antis are willing to contradict not only the actor (who, may I remind you, was instrumental in shaping Izzy’s character) but also the showrunner is very symptomatic of the larger issue of how queer people have been treated in society.

No one in their right mind chose to become a pirate unless they had no other option. Piracy was fraught with constant danger and meant being an outsider everywhere. The only place one could be more or less safe was between people in the same lifestyle. In OFMD that is represented by the Republic of Pirates, where not being a pirate would get one in trouble. Sure, there is some violence but it comes with the territory and - much more importantly - it’s never motivated by someone being a pirate.

Izzy claims to hate the Republic - and for someone as repressed as him it makes sense. There are people being a different kind of a pirate than Izzy would like there - drunk, rowdy, and undisciplined. He clearly takes great pride in his work and has built his whole identity around being Blackbeard’s first mate. Seeing people be pirates while taking their responsibilities lightly doesn’t fit his worldview because he’s been taught that all of his energy should be spent protecting whatever freedom the pirates managed to carve out for themselves.

Someone once wrote that despite what the popular meme says, Izzy isn’t a real pirate dropped into The Muppet Treasure Island, but rather a hard boiled queer-coded character from a 50s noir movie dropped into today’s Pride. He’s had to keep vigilant against any threat for so long he hasn’t noticed that there was a way to be a pirate/queer and still enjoy one’s life. That one can like frilly robes and be a somewhat competent sea captain. That it is possible to pine for one’s boyfriend and keep one’s crew safe. That being soft doesn’t necessarily mean being weak.

He’s willing to do whatever it takes and sacrifice whatever has to be sacrificed (Stede’s life, Edward’s happiness, his own status of the loyal first mate) to keep his little pirate/queer world safe. It’s this conviction that puts him in the way of Ed and Stede’s relationship and makes him an antagonist. But - and it’s something the haters seem to be incapable of grasping - an antagonist doesn’t have to equal a villain.

Why does Izzy react so violently to Stede, exactly? Why is he willing to go against his captain's wishes in challenging Stede to a duel? Why does he sell Stede out, making a deal with the enemy in the process? Because Stede is a stranger infiltrating Izzy’s safe space. The English are a huge threat, sure, but they are easily identifiable from a distance. Stede seems to Izzy to be something far more dangerous - an outsider worming his way into the heart of Izzy’s world, where he can do truly irreparable damage. The English are cops who chase gay boys around the park. Stede has the potential of being an undercover cop sent into a queer bar in the 1930s to get the dirt on the patrons so they can be blackmailed and arrested.

Of course, he may not be that, but it’s a risk Izzy can’t allow himself to take. With his vision of what it means to be a pirate/queer he's sure he sees through Stede’s ruse. Now, I’m not trying to excuse abusive behavior, as some of Izzy’s choices were hurtful to everyone around him. But as a queer person I do have sympathy for someone (grossly) overreacting in defense of their safe space. Constant vigilance is an inherent part of the queer experience, especially for those living in conservative countries or remembering the times before the Pride.

Like, for example, Con does. Con, who - yes, I will repeat this because it’s super important here - played a huge part in shaping Izzy’s character. Con, who despite having a decades-long career where he often clearly gravitated towards queer characters, only got comfortable enough THIS YEAR (and thanks to this show and this fandom) to publicly come out. Con, who - as a friend wonderfully phrased it - is queer as in start a riot, not as in love wins.

And Izzy is the same. He is a start a riot pirate/queer in a show full of love wins pirates/queers. His way of being what he is is so totally different from everyone around him that it makes him an antagonist. (Sure, there are other start a riot queers in the show - Jim literally kills a man who wronged them and Lucius is very outspoken about his opinions in a way that makes him somewhat radical, but neither of them is as extreme in their ways as Izzy is and neither goes against the main characters’ romance thus becoming an antagonist.) But. The thing is, when you are a part of a minority, when you are being prosecuted and targeted for who you are, you need safe spaces. And those safe spaces need protection, because every freedom can be taken away if wrong people come to power. No doubt the queer movement would look much more tame and palatable to the bigots if we were all the love wins queers. But we desperately need the start a riot queers if we are to survive.

So yeah, you can say Izzy said what he said because he needs a structure and clear hierarchy in his life. He absolutely does. Some of it comes from his submissive and masochistic tendencies, sure (I wrote a lot about that, including a piece for the Above All Else zine). Some of it may come from neurodivergence (some people read Izzy as autistic, I’m not going to discuss this because as a neurotypical person I have nothing of value to say about it). But it also ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY comes from the desperate need to protect his safe space from outsiders.

And there is one more thing the haters conveniently forget about: OFMD is also a show about growth. It’s about Stede turning from a wooden puppet into a real boy and then into a man. It’s about Edward learning there is a life beyond the legend of Blackbeard and peeling off at least some of the leather. And judging from the trailer, it’s about Izzy learning you can be a start a riot pirate while being accepting of the love wins pirates in your life. 

The more I think about it, the more likely I find it that Stede’s “I don’t care what anybody says, he’s actually a good guy” line from the teaser refers to Izzy. But even if it doesn’t, I am 100% sure the haters will be proven wrong. This show never relied on stereotypes and cliches. In fact, it actively does everything to break them (from Jim’s sacred quest for revenge ending up with them befriending Jackie to the only names that get mispronounced being those of white characters) while killing off the real enemies of the pirate/queer crew (Badmintons, Jack, Geraldo) and giving all its characters place to grow.

So, maybe one day we will all learn to love Izzy? 

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

steve, robin, chrissy, and nancy starting a band together. each have their own kind of more classical musical training with robin being in marching band and steve, chrissy, and nancy all having Rich People Music Lessons as children, but everyone's shocked when they decide to turn that talent towards a punk band called Baby and the Girls

and they start off kind of small, with their Gimmick being the disconnect between their more prep/normie visual aesthetic and the angry, violent tone of their music. steve's the singer (he has a lovely voice, kind of warm and croony until he really starts screaming), chrissys the drummer (she's so tiny you can barely see her behind that thing), nancys the bassist (solid, dependable, gets a little smile on her face whenever she's got a particularly sexy baseline bc she knows the bass is what makes a song a fuck song), and robins on guitar (and keyboard, and violin, and one time an accordion which is still her favourite song to perform. basically whatever other instrument the song calls for she's got it)

and they get kind of a following not just for their angry music criticising the government and society and the like, but also because of how unabashedly queer they are. chrissy/nancy/robin have all visibly flirted with each other during concerts and no one's quite sure what the deal is there. steve performs like 75% of their shows in full drag as Baby (hence the band name) and winks flirtatiously at both male and female audience members alike

eventually they get Real Big, and get signed to an actual record label. despite knowing how queer they were before signing them, it's still like the early 90s so the label makes them tone it down a bit. song lyrics get a little more ambiguous (but not if you actually like. listen to them. i mean steve sings about eating a wide variety of fruits and vegetables in a way that like. We All Know What The Peach Is Steven), steve's not allowed to perform in drag anymore (although he does lose a suspicious amount of bets whose forfeits 'force' him to perform in a dress. new fans are baffled at how bad this guy is at bets), and the band name has to change, becoming Stevie and the Girls (the label wanted it to just be 'steve' but they compromised)

and over the course of their career, at some point they end up on a talk show with the Other Band From Hawkins, corroded coffin. the host is clearly angling for a punk/metal standoff, maybe Known Non-conformist eddie munson will call them posers for wearing so many pastel colours, or since everyone knows that steve chris and nancy at least used to be pretty popular in high school maybe there's some lasting high school drama to up their ratings

and yeah, their ratings skyrocket for that episode, but only bc steve and eddie reveal they've been dating since 1987

[anyonewannasteponme]

Summary: Your Uncle Aegon enjoys sneaking into your room at night and making you his. Especially after you’ve misbehaved. (Also Helaena and Aemond are married because I say so)

Warnings: Incest, Explicit Sexual Content, Impact Play, Slight Non-Con

Authors Note: I want to preface by saying that I haven’t watched House of The Dragon yet so if I write Aegon a little out of character take that into consideration please this is far from perfect I just wanted to write something for fun. I just want a horrible man to ruin me <3

Your stomach was in knots, an acute feeling of dread had been plaguing you ever since you had stormed off from the disastrous family dinner. You felt awful, your Grandsire had only been trying to achieve one thing between your Mother and Brothers and Alicent Hightower and her boys. Unity. And it had been going well, until conversation had been shifted to Luke and Jaces legitimacy due to your Uncle Aemond’s unfathomable pride. Strong boys, he had called them knowing exactly what open wound to poke and prod.

Sure enough after Aemond slipped in the strong comment he and Jace were fighting. Helaena had let out a gasp as her husband got a punch to the jaw, one he rightfully deserved in the moment. You’d left shortly after, stormed out you supposed, you were furious. Unlike your brothers you had Targaryen features, like your brothers you were very much a bastard. It was just easier for everyone to pretend that you werent. You could pass as a true born Targaryen with your gleaming violet eyes and silver hair. Luke and Jace had a much harder time than yourself and you wished with all your heart that you could save them from the cruelties of the court. What had really wound you up was Aegon. The way he had slammed your brother down against the table unflinchingly had you fuming. How he could share your bed, yet insult your whole identity was a mystery.

A sharp rap on your door signalled his arrival. You knew from the brief few second pause between the previous violent knocks before a string of more followed more aggressive than the last that Aegon was at the door. “I do not wish to see you right now Uncle.” You whisper shouted, aware that if someone heard you refuse his entrance they’d likely try and send you to the dungeons. “I dont give two shits.” Aegon slurred, slamming on the door frame, the wooden piece rattling in its hinges. You muttered a variety of unladylike words in your head when you observed your sheer nightgown. Nipples slightly pebbling through the fabric. You were in no way ready to receive visitors. Especially not when you knew Aegon was already in a foul mood.

You opened the door wearily. Aegon barged in, his blond hair was ruffled, signalling his feverishness. “I saw you staring at him.” He barked suddenly, you jolted backwards, surprised but not shocked at his incapability to process your own feelings of anger and humiliation instead jumping to what was bothering himself. “What do you mean?” You said softly, careful with your words. “Dont play the fool.” He scoffed running a hand through his silvery blonde hair. Scrutinising you, as if he could see the cogs in your little brain whirring, desperately trying to process his accusations. Whilst you thought Aegon stared. Taking in your skantily clad figure, the sheer nightgown he had bought for you.

Wearing it still evoked a pang of guilt in your chest, knowing you were betraying your immediate family by having such relations with Aegon. Your mother would not know what to say if or rather when she figured out her sweet girl, her only daughter was involved with her younger brother, the epitome of unruliness and cruelty. Naturally it was futile to wish for approval you would never get from her, yet you knew the conversation at some point must occur. Especially since it had been many moons since Aegon had started visiting your bedchambers with a promise to make you a mother, a wife and a queen. A queen. The title promised to your mother.

You didnt bother mentioning that you had no interest in your other Uncle. You were devoted to Aegon and Aegon alone, but you knew he would not hear it. You had been looking at Aemond, an atrocity he would not let go unpunished. Even if you had only been staring because the conversation of your Brothers legitimacy had you on edge. You were waiting for him to target you next, worried for what would happen if Aegon was in the room if Aemond ridiculed you. Would he even defend your honour? Or would he leave you to wallow in the shame of your mothers infidelity.

“Were you waiting for Aemond?” Aegon whispered his voice husky and deep with rage. “Maybe he’s on his way now, ready to spill himself deep into the womb of his spoiled whore of a niece.” You flinched at his degradation. “Aemond is a devoted husband to Helaena.” You whimpered voice meeker than you wished it to be. The blood of the dragon ran through your veins, yet your own fire was stifled by the terrifying glint in Aegon’s eyes. He stalked towards you, expression stony and serious. More serious than you ever saw him.

“He called my brothers bastards.” You snapped, trying desperately to change the conversation and avoid his wrath. “Strong boys he called them and you sat there drank your wine and laughed.”

“Him or me.” He said simply, ignoring you trying to shift his attention, his tone sent shivers down your spine.

If you were a smart girl and Aemond was unmarried you would have chosen him. He was infinitely kinder compared to Aegon even if he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. But you weren’t a smart girl, and Aegon was not a smart man. He should have bed and married his sister, Heleana regardless of his own wants and needs.

“You.” is what you would have said, had Aegon’s hand not whipped upwards to tighten around your neck, warm and strong and unrelenting. “Him or me.” He repeated his eyes the deepest purple, bordering on black, with lust or anger you could not say. He leant in, mouth pressed agaisnt your ear. “You are not his to take.” He growled. “You are mine to fuck, to seed, to marry, do you understand my darling niece? For as long as I am alive you will remain mine.” He released you when you began to claw at his wrists with desperation for air. Your vision was blurring, tiny pinpricks of black surrounded your Uncle. Tears welled in your eyes, a stinging sensation building in your nose. Aegon released his grip. “Get on the bed.”

You wanted to claw your hair out, to scream, to cry, to beg for him not to punish you for something he had invented of his own accord. But you didn’t. You got on the bed as Aegon began to unbuckle his belt. He gave you a stern look and begrudgingly you moved into the position he wanted you in, arse up ready for his punishment. Maybe he’d fuck your arsehole until it bled, make it impossible for you to leave your room the next day, or would he spank you red raw until you couldn’t sit down because of the pressure on the blue-black bruises he’d given you. You knew he was thinking about which way he wanted to take his anger out on you.

The bed dipped with Aegon’s weight. He grabbed your hips roughly pulling you against his clothed stomach, you were arched like a stretching cat, the way he loved to take you. He administered one searing slap against your left arse cheek with his belt, you convulsed in his arms at the impact wanting to cry alloud at the pain of one strike. “I know it hurts.” He whispered directly into your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe and sending a flush of addictive pleasure between your legs. “But when you behave like a whore you get treated like one.” You couldn’t stop the growl that escaped your lips. Aegon let out a burst of laughter, delighted at your anger, sorrow and neediness.

“Do you not like that name my sweet?” He condescended. “No I think you like it very much.” He ran a hand down your raised thigh, the further down he traced the closer he got to your aching centre. You closed your legs, trying to hide your wetness from him. In response Aegon grabbed a fistful of your hair and wrenched your head back so far you were sure your scalp would be bleeding. “Listen to me.” He pried your legs open with the hand opposite to the one abusing your hair. “I am going to ruin your cunt. I am going to use you to make myself cum and then when your so swollen and desperate from all the orgasms I deny you I will shove my cock back in and push my cum deep inside you.” He leaned in closer. “You come before I tell you its alright then you will be punished, you fail to satisfy me and you will be punished.” With that you felt his blunt head push against your hole. Aegon was collecting your slick before slamming his hips into yours.

“Your pulsing.” He grunted. “Your pussy is trying to push me out.” You didn’t doubt him one bit, the lack of preparation had you engulfed in an excruciating stretch as Aegon pounded you with no restraint all you could do was grasp desperately at the furs on your bed and gurgle as Aegon had his way with you. He clapped a hand over your mouth as a means to quiet you down. But you couldn’t help the sounds escaping your mouth when he changed positions, pounding the spot inside you that always made you crumble around him. “Do not cum.” He growled, you mewled. It wasn’t possible. “I can’t hold it Aegon.” You gasped. “You must.” He replied curtly. He continued to brutally thrust into you. You could feel him pulsing as well, his cock twitching inside you as he continued to fuck you desperately. He was close, but so were you.

You tried to think of anything but the approach of your orgasm, wiggling in your gut like an unwanted worm. You thought of how Aegon demanded respect when he fucked you. You wondered when you saw how he interacted with Alicent if when he was with you that was the only time he was ever in control of his life. You thought about how your mother would be queen. How no matter how often Aegon said he’d make you his queen he didn’t wish to be king even a little bit.

It distracted you for a bit before Aegon began to vocalise his pleasure, grunting and groaning in your ear as if he knew how much it would turn you on. “Dont cum inside please.” You whispered. Aegon flipped you over, legs over his shoulders. “Oh I’m coming inside.” He smirked at whatever expression of horror you must have plastered on your face. “Lets hope it takes and my babe grows in your pretty girl womb.” You let out a gasp of irritation as he slowed his thrusts, the burst of pleasure you had been feeling in the moment dissipating with the loss of his deep thrusting. “You want to come for me?” Aegon asked. You nodded your head vigorously. “Then say that you belong to me. That no one fucks your cunt as well as I do. That you want no one other than Aegon Targaryen.”

“I belong to you.” Aegon resumed his thrusting, growing more frantic and sloppy as he neared his release, you keened. “No one fucks my cunt as well as you do.” If anyone walked past usually you would be mortified, sounding like a commonplace whore. Yet you could care less, having gone dumb on his cock the minute his tip met your entrance. “I want no one other than Aegon Targaryen.” You gasped as your orgasm overtook you the minute you finished saying what he had asked of you. It hit you hard and intense from Aegon’s edging. He growled as he felt you tighten impossibly around him.

Aegon cursed as he came, spilling himself deep into you regardless of what you asked. Terror spiked in your gut. “What if I have a child Aegon.” For a second you were expecting him to shut you down. To say something along the lines of “I already father a dozen bastards whats one more going to do.” Instead he pressed a kiss to your temple, “I dont think anyone would bat an eye if you and I were to wed.” You gasped, stiffening beneath him. “Are you asking me to marry you?” You whispered, barely believing what you were hearing. “I would like nothing more. If you will have me.” You felt tears prick in your eyes, guiding him back to your entrance as you pressed a deep kiss against his lips.

You always forgave him too quickly.

“If you want it to take you’ll need to cum more than once.” You whispered, tucking his hair behind his ear. Aegon grinned, pulling out and angling his hips as he prepared to fuck you again.