#please do give the guides a read if u like lol i worked very hard on this absolute artistic expression of silly

[whumpshaped]

oh my god okay ive been doing nothing for 8 hours but typing away on my silly little phone writing the silly little fictional guide books and i still kinda wanna answer that ask and do chapter 3 of the thing and

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 61

@m4xedout - Dude, y/n starts getting all these weird pimples and zits on her lower body and thinks she's all gross and lashes out on her dads when they make an unfunny joke about it, then they all make up and then happy ending

~~~

anon - ooh what if u wrote about baby scarab meeting the other two peters

~~~

A/N : ok so the requests arent written good bc i have an actual plot thought up for the chapter lol

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : THERE IS NO MORE SCHEDULE, IM SORRY also thank you all sm for the support and requests :)))

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader, layla el faouly x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), spidey stuff, violence, language, angst, very rushed and hard to read, doctors, throwing up, needles, mention of child abuse, scars, mention of sex, just overall doctor stuff. let me know if i missed anything.

~~~

steven had indeed been freaking out.

you assured him he'd be fine, and that he was going to do great but like always, he didn't believe you.

you waited in the lobby of the museum, a different one than the one he used to work at, this one a little farther away from home.

he was in there for the interview for a good hour, and you didn't have your phone since you were still grounded, so you were extremely bored.

you sensed something, and saw the door open to the office he was in, steven shaking the man's hand before coming to you.

"hey, how'd it go?" you ask, standing up.

steven sighs. "he said he'd call me" he mumbles and you purse your lips, taking his hand in yours before leading him out the doors.

"i'm sure he'll calm with good news then" you assure him and he smiles down at you.

steven let's you guide him down the couple steps, and to the drugstore at the corner right before the car.

"wait- why are we in here?" marc asks and you stay quiet, looking for something specific while hanging onto steven, who doesn't mind the detour.

"because i need something" you answer, finding the acne lotions and looking at the labels to find the right one.

you pick the one you seemed was right for you and proceeded to drag steven over to the ghost town of a drug store.

the cashier told you the price and while you dug through your pockets for cash, steven handed her his card, making you freeze and look up at him.

"steven i-"

"shush, you don't have to waste your money on this stuff. if it's a need and not a want- depending what it is- then we'll gladly buy it for you" he quickly says, the lady handing you a bag with the acne lotion.

"thank you, have a nice day" steven says to the lady before then guiding you outside to the car.

you get in and set the bag on the floor, and stare ahead.

"darling, you alright?" steven asks and you shake your head a bit, looking over to him.

"yeah"

"are you sure?"

"mhmm" you nod, kicking at the bag on the floor.

steven gives you a quick look of pity and gives up the body when he realizes you noticed it completely.

that makes you curious, asking marc about it as he starts the car.

"what was that look for? why did steven look at me like that?" you ask marc but he stays quiet.

you decide to let it go for now, not watching to upset anyone accidentally while marc's trying to drive.

~~~

"okay- are you guys going to tell me what's wrong?" you ask the second marc closes the door behind you both.

you're taking your shoes off at the same time marc sighs.

"stop sighing at me" you say, making a face. "just spit it out"

"kid.. you..." marc trails off, which makes you frown, tilting your head at him from where you stand.

"..marc... what is it?" you try to ask again but he unknowingly forced steven to front instead.

"steven" you greet tensly.

"darling i have something to tell you" he starts quickly, guiding you to sit at the kitchen  table.

"just- just listen, okay?" he starts, sitting across from you as you nod.

"we- as in all three of us decided on something behind your back" he takes a shaky breath and you purse your lips.

"i don't understand-"

"y/n please. you have to understand we did this for a good reason" steven looks almost on the verge of tears, which honestly scares you a bit.

"steven.. you guys are scaring me, what's going on?" you ask as calmly as you can, tensing where you sit.

"please keep in mind that we are all very sorry" he takes another deep breath. "we.. we thought since you got suspended and got into a fight there needed to be some kind of.. more serious punishment" he almost cringes at his words and you look up to the ceiling.

"okay so-"

"wait i'm not finished" steven interrupts, clearing his throat. "we agreed that marc would call a doctor yesterday" he starts and you feel your stomach begin to churn.

"and we scheduled you an appointment-"

"i'm not going" you cut him off, and he gives you a sad look.

"darling-"

"steven. no. you can't make me go- i won't go" you ramble, slowly getting up from your chair, feeling extremely sick.

"no, y/n please we just want to make sure you're healthy" steven gets up as well, slowly walking towards you as you walk backwards towards the direction of your room.

"steven you don't understand. i can't go to the doctor, please" you try to convince him but it seems his mind was already made up.

all of theirs were.

"it's tomorrow-"

"steven stop" you feel your eyes fill up with tears, making stevens face blurry.

"kid, come on it'll be over before you know it. 24 hours from now you'll be resting here after-"

"no! marc i said i not going!" you exclaim, making a break for your room, slamming the door and locking it, hearing marc front and rush over to try and open the door.

"come out kid! you know it's for your own good!" marc tells from the other side of the door as you back into the corner of your room, breath quickening faster than you can think.

the pounding at the door doesn't help, and neither does the sound of marc picking the lock to get it.

you curl into yourself on the floor of your room, burning your face in your knees, which dug into your eye sockets.

"nonononono please. i don't want to. i cant" you somehow manage to say to yourself while heaving in each breath in between words.

the door opens and in came an extremely worried marc, who crouches down next to you to try and calm you down.

"kid, come on it's okay-"

"no" you whisper, refusing to show your face for there were tears rushing down your cheeks.

"baby calm down, just breath and let me explain" marc says so you regretfully listen and manage to calm yourself down within two minutes.

"you said you were going to explain" you say, voice raspy from the sudden burst of tears and shouting.

marc puts an arm on your back, rubbing circles into it.

"we had to do this at some point, you know we did" he starts, and you glare at the floor, refusing to look up at him.

"we need to be sure you're healthy. plus if you're doing you know what with casper then maybe you could get prescribed birth control if you want" he cringes.

"do you realize that this is a huge invasion of my privacy?" you ask rhetorically, finally looking up at him.

"i know i fucked up but this is beyond unfair" you send a dirty look to marc, and he takes his hand back, giving you a look back.

"don't use that tone with me, you're going wether you like it or not" he starts. "it needs to be done. to make sure you're healthy" he reasons but you just shake your head.

"but i don't consent to it" you retort.

"but you're still a minor so it's part of my job as your dad to make sure you're healthy" marc explains and this time you stay quiet, getting up and moving to your bed, sitting down on it and staring down at the floor.

marc stayed in his spot on the floor, deciding it's best to give you space but where he knows you won't quite literally jump out of the window and leave to god knows where.

just to get away from going to the doctor tomorrow.

marc sighs, looking to the mirror across the room from him, seeing steven.

"can we bribe you with anything? reasonable though of course" steven asks you but you ignore him.

"love, we just want to help you. you can't stay mad at us forever" it seemed that stevens voice was more calming than marc's was.

marc was almost always straight to the point, whereas steven always dodged things as much as he could.

however, steven was just a natural with kids, and especially teenagers it looked like.

marc and jake, not so much. they would never want to engage in conversation with kids if they had to.

but with you it's different, which is why they made this tough decision.

"i'm scared, steven" you suddenly confess.

"i'm terrified" you take a shaky breath in, and an even shakier one out. "the last doctor i was around was when i was in that asylum"

"what if they know that i'm crazy and they take me away from you guys?"

"baby, don't even think like that" marc shoots down your negative ideas.

"si, he's right. you're not crazy and nobody could ever take you away from us" jake pipes in from wherever he was listening in from.

"i don't want shots. or anything to do with needles. i hate it- i'm gonna be sick-" you cover your mouth and shoot up to basically sprint to the bathroom, marc getting up and following you.

you emptied your guts into the toilet all while marc held your hair back with one hand and filled a small disposable plastic cup of cold water with the other.

"i'm sorry honey, i know you're freaked out now but there's no reason to make yourself sick because of it" marc sighs. "it's my fault-"

"no. don't say that. please" you pant, taking the water from him with a nod.

"i understand why you're scared, darling" steven pipes up, and you just slowly take sips of water while listening.

"you have bad history with doctors, i get it, but i promise you that we found a good one. she sounded very nice on the phone and we'll be there with you the entire time if you'd like" he offers and you just nod, regretting not trying to get out of it more.

"fine. but you guys owe me" you breath out.

"anything you want, princesa"

~~~

"this isn't exactly what we had in mind but it works" steven says to himself, watching as you contently sipped hot chocolate from your favorite mug while wrapped in blankets on the couch.

after you made yourself sick out of fear, you brushed your teeth only half a dozen times before settling down.

steven made sure to put extra whipped cream and chocolate sauce on top of the cocoa too, just how you liked it.

you were staying quiet while just thinking.

were you really going to just go to the doctor without a fight? you had good points not to go but so did your dads.

your fear of needles came from being put in the asylum and getting all sorts of drugs put into you, and then the blood test that one guy did on you when you were kidnapped.

and then the fear rooted off that and now you are also afraid of sharp objects.

like the knife that was used to carve the word 'harrow' into your arm.

which you still hated and you now realize the doctor would be able to inspect all of your scars and probably wonder if your dads were abusing you.

plus other unspoken scars. like the scars around the letters themselves from scratching at them so many times to draw blood attempting to get rid of it.

plus the scar over the bridge of your nose and on your cheek from when you got scratched by a kid at school after you first met two out of three of your dads.

you feel a tap on your shoulder, making you stop thinking to pay attention to reality.

"you alright? you spaced out" steven informs and you nod.

"i'm alright" you close your eyes, leaning your head back on the couch.

"i know that you're not but i'm not going to push it" he says bluntly and you scoff, opening your eyes to look up at him.

"but i can promise you that you will be okay" he grins.

~~~

it was not okay.

you were currently recovering from losing your breakfast the next morning while jake was the one to help you.

"but papa i'm sick i can't go" you try to make at least some effort to get out of this doctors visit.

"that's more of a reason to go. ella puede diagnosticar cualquier mierda que me estés diciendo" he says and you just blink up at him from where you sat in the bathroom floor.

jake sighs and almost forces you to stand up, leading you out of the bathroom while fishing a stick of winter mint gum out of his pocket for you.

"but papa-"

"don't 'papa' me. i know your tricks" he gives you a pointed look, gesturing to your shoes at the door.

"finish getting ready and calm down. you're panting again" he notices and you stop breathing all together realizing how noisily your breathing was.

you let out a couple deep breaths, and move to slowly put your shoes on, taking one of jakes leather jackets off the coat rack and putting it on.

it smelled of cheap weed and cologne. and it was pretty roughed up, it was one of his favorites.

jake eventually ushered you outside, leaving you to fidget in the car, picking at your fingers.

a bad habit you had caught from casper.

"hey" marc gets your attention from the rear view mirror.

"you're going to be okay" he tries to reassure you, but you just look out the window.

"i should've fought you guys" you say, making jake give you a side eye.

"you would've lost" he answers right back with an attitude.

you stay silent after that, staring out of the window as if it was making time go slower.

and then you pull into the parking lot and that's when you snap.

"hey jake?"

"hm?"

"i'm gonna be sick again" you warn, opening the car door and getting out, crouching down after closing it.

you hear jake rush out of the car, and at the same time he comes around the front of the car, you sneak around the back.

jake froze in his tracks, also crouching down in front of the front tire, so if you looked under the car you wouldn't see him.

and when you do look, your eyes widen, and you also freeze.

you feel a presence behind you, and judging by the large shadow over the car it was khonshu.

you sigh and bang your head against the cars door where you were hidden.

jake took that as the go ahead to stand back up and walk around the car, almost slipping on the ice.

"nice try, come on" he lifts you up by your arms and keeps them there until you get into the building.

your stomach felt more sick than ever. the certain smell of the doctors office made your eyes water.

jake agreed to have marc front, since your name was technically spector on most of your documents now.

since he was technically the original.

whatever, anyways.

you absolutely refused to make eye contact with anybody in the room, even he two other kids with their parents.

"hello, how can i help you both today?" the receptionist asked while she smiled in your direction.

"we have a 10 o'clock appointment for y/n spector" marc answers and the lady types a few things on her computer.

"alright, doctor miller will see you in a few minutes, you can wait anywhere" she smiles and marc nods, guiding you to a couple seats in the back of the room.

your leg bounces up and down while you stare at the door that presumably leads to the rooms.

marc put a hand over your knee, stopping the movement before taking it back.

"you need to calm down. it'll be worse if you're all worked up" he murmurs, making sure he wasn't too loud to disturb the other people in the room.

"i'm trying my best here, okay?" you snap at him, whispering, staring him right in the eyes.

a few minutes later, you audibly gasp when the door opens, and a tall thin woman walks out.

she had her dark hair in braids, and the white coat and scrubs went well with that and her darker skin.

she had a small smile on her face as she spotted you.

"y/n spector?" she asks, assuming it was you.

marc helps you up, holding your hand all the way to the door, where the doctor gestures to follow her into a small room down a hallway.

she led you and marc through the door, where there was a cushioned table pushed against the wall, a window with the blinds closed, a counter with a sink and a garbage can and a couple chairs.

there was also one of those dress things on the counter.

"first things first, i'll leave you to change into that" she points to it with her pen. "you can keep your underwear on but everything else comes off" she instructs and you gulp dryly, nodding.

"do you want me to leave?" marc asks once she exits the room.

you shake your head. "just turn around, i trust you guys" you wave him off, starting by taking the fabric from the counter.

~~~

you were sitting on the table in nothing but your underwear, socks, and the sheet of fabric that was weakly tied behind your back and at the base of your neck.

you stared ahead, looking at the soap dispenser attached to the wall and up by the sink.

there was a knock at the closed door, to where marc said 'come in'.

the doctor came in to stand in front of you.

"i'm doctor miller, i'll be taking care of you today" she holds her hand out to you. "it's nice to meet you, y/n" you shake her hand shortly with your shaky one.

she seemed to sense your nervousness from your hands and the fact that you kept darting your eyes to marc.

"i'm just going to ask you some questions, is that okay?" she asks and you slowly nod, taking a few calming breaths.

she sits down in one of the chairs by the counter and clicks her pen, looking at the paper on her clipboard.

"since you're new to this office i'll also need some information from your dad before you leave today" she says out loud, and then she clears her throat.

"your full name is y/n y/m/n spector, is that correct?" she questions.

"yes" you respond quietly, staring down at the floor now.

"and you're 17?"

you nod when she looks up at you.

"perfect, it looks good so far" she says and you begin to calm down.

you guess your dads picked the best of the best to make sure you wouldn't panic too much.

"now do you have any allergies? to foods, medicines, anything like that?"

"i'm allergic to raspberries" you say,embarrassed.

doctor miller scribbles something down on the paper.

"are you taking any medications?"

"yeah, olanzopine for schizophrenia" you almost regret not lying to her, but she just wrote it down without blinking.

"how's that working for you?" she looks up at you.

"it's the best one i've had for it" you answer.

"alright, next question is.." she trails off, trying to find where she left off.

"are you sexually active?" she looks back to you, who's lips are pursed.

you exchange a look with marc, who's giving you a glare right back.

"absolutely i am" you answer, making marc reach other to pinch your arm, resulting in you smacking his hand away while doctor miller giggled to herself.

"safely i'm guessing?" she asks rhetorically and you nod. "have you thought of taking birth control at all?"

marc nods for you. "we talked about it the other day, would it effect anything else? like her medication?"

"okay so some side effects would be nausea, headaches, and mood swings which could either be for the first couple months or long term" she starts "there's also breast tenderness or enlargement over time-"

"perfect" you mutter to yourself, and doctor miller laughs again.

"and don't forget possible weight gain" she finishes, marc nodding.

"i think i'd like to try it" you say more to marc than the doctor.

"i can have the prescription in your pharmacy within the next few hours" she nods to both of you, making a note on the margin of her paper.

"alright, now i'm going to take your height and weight, would you like it to be just us? don't let me pressure you though it's up to you" doctor miller stands up, leaving the clipboard and pen on the counter.

"he can stay" you mumble.

she nods and gestures for you to get off the table and make your way to the scale.

you look at it with a frown, walking over to it as slowly as you can until you have to actually step onto it.

the doctor writes down your weight and moves onto your height, which was y/h.

"for this part, your dad does need to leave though, but he'll be right outside-"

"wait what are you going to do?" you ask in a panic, stepping back from her a foot.

she sends you a calming smile. "i'm just going to be checking your body for anything harmful. nothing will hurt but you may feel some discomfort" she says in guilt and you sigh, sitting back down on the table as marc leaves the room.

~~~

after you were checked, doctor miller washed her hands while you stood in the middle of the room after she checked the scars on your back.

you had a talk about all the scars she saw, including the letters.

all you told her was that you were okay and you were recovering.

which was half true. 

marc came back in, and you were sat back down, and marc made eye contact with the doctor and nodded, which left you confused.

"it's time for the last part of this visit" doctor miller starts and you hold your breath.

"i'm afraid we'll need to collect blood-"

"no, isn't there any way we could skip that?" you ask and she purses her lips while marc grabbed ahold of your hand which rested on the table next to you.

"i'm sorry, but we need to make sure you don't have iron deficiency" she says and your breathing quickens.

"it'll be okay, just a small pinch and then you're done" marc stands up to get in front of you, holding both your hands now in his.

"don't look, you can squeeze as much as you need to" he tells you, squeezing your hands once while your eyes blurred and you felt warm tears slide down your cheeks.

you were embarrassed to say the least. a 17 year old crying in front of her doctor because of a finger prick.

"okay, i need to see your hand" she says so marc guides your hand to her while you begin to hyperventilate.

"i need you to calm down" marc says gently, pushing your face into his shoulder to make sure you didn't look while the doctor took blood.

yes, it was just a pinch. but a pinch that made you yelp and squeeze marc's hand as tight as you could.

marc feared you'd break one of his fingers with how hard you were hanging on.

it was done and you were at your lowest.

you were sweating and crying while trying to keep yourself together, and of course there was bad news.

"i deeply apologize but we also have multiple vaccinations we have to give you since you've never had them" doctor miller says and you try to get up and away from marc, but he ends up holding you down to the table by your arms while you kicked at him.

"get- get off!" you shout in marc's face, and he just frowns down at you, using one hand to keep you on your back while he used the other to hold your legs down.

you struggled against him and choked on sobs while the doctor carried over a tray with half a dozen syringes.

"dad please! you can't do this" you lose your strength while your whole body wracks with sobs.

marc just stared down at you while your struggling slowly stopped.

the doctor decided to give you the shots in your legs since marc had to hold you down mostly by your arms.

plus you couldn't see her, but you sure as hell felt her.

"let go! please!" you scream after the first shot.

"i'll do anything just make it stop- i can't breath!" you let out a pained groan, gritting your teeth together as the second needle breaks the skin in your leg.

"dad- guys please! i don't want it!" you continue to yell at them, squeezing your eyes shut at the third shot.

"i- i don't- i don't want it anymore" you quiet down slightly, too tired from the sudden change in mood and emotion.

your tears didn't stop, they just kept running down your face while the doctor finished up.

marc slowly let you go, and once he did you shoved him away from you to cover yourself with your arms, staring down at the bandaids that littered your legs.

"i'll leave you two" the doctor starts to leave. "you can change back now if you'd like" she goes after that, closing the door behind her.

marc stood next to where you sat until you started to get the fabric off of you, putting your clothes back on as fast as you could.

you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of jakes jacket, cringing at the horrible job the leather did at soaking up your tears.

marc didn't look at you, but at the ground.

you sniff once, and run at your reddened eyes again before moving towards the door.

marc followed and handed you the keys to the car.

"go wait, i'll be out in a minute" he mumbles, so you do so without a word.

it was going to be a tense ride home.

~~~

you haven't said a single word to marc in hours.

you already skipped breakfast, and now lunch, and you were planning on skipping dinner as well.

you still felt too sick anyways.

you were alone in your room with pedro and luna sleeping at the edge of your bed, while you were curled up on your pillows with your knees to your chest.

before you all got home, marc picked up your birth control that you will start taking on a sunday after you start your next period.

there was a gentle knock at your door.

"love? you alright?" steven asks from the other side, and you were about to answer when your window opens suddenly, making you jump up.

"what the fuck" you mumble, moving towards it, and seeing nothing.

you then saw a masked figure peak its head in through the right side of it.

"peter?" you ask, seeing that the mask was familiar.

but different all at the same time.

"what's going on in there?" steven asks again and you sigh.

"i think peter came back" you answer, looking back to see the person still staring at you.

"peter? you can come in, you know" you say as if it's obvious.

he swings in all of a sudden, and that's when you realize.

that wasn't peter.

this guy was taller than him, and the eyes on the mask were different- hell, the whole suit was different.

you freeze up and are about to swing your fist when he does so first.

making your world go black while steven pounded on the door.

~~~

A/N : happy new years everyone! i hope everyone had safe holidays! hope you enjoyed this chapter and i hope to see you hopefully next week

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @valiantphantomangel @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil @scarabgrant @luvxxee @certainchildmentality @yikesitskennawrites @alexisabirdie @zlatolait-writes @thursdaywritings @izzzzy-the-amazing @angrykitsune01

[intearsaboutrobots]

it's so fun seeing you post about Dorothy Dunnett bc that's my mums number one Thing like shes subscribed to the fan magazine goes to the conventions the whole thing. it's like oh there's blorbo from my parents house. also u might win the years long fight she's been waging like I might read them now! where's a good place to start?

OMG please tell your mom that the Lymond Chronicles fans on tumblr say hi!!! it must be very funny to see people fan-ing over your mom's blorbos lol i can't imagine

as for where to start: i've only read the lymond chronicles myself and i think they're often accepted as the good spot to hop aboard! the first book is "A Game of Kings".

normally here is where i would warn the potential reader that i found it hard to track down a copy and ended up doing a lot of reading on temporary New York Public Library cards (look up an address in the city on Zillow and register! it gives you 14 days!) BUT in your case maybe you can just borrow one off your mom??? I've dabbled in both the audiobooks and the ebooks, as well as having my own physical copies now, and they're all quite good so follow your own heart there. for me it's easier to follow the bits that lapse into archaic poetry in other languages with my eyes than my ears, but ymmv.

my other piece of the advice to the new reader is to not sweat the nitty gritty details too much... in my experience, it became too much work to look up every reference and the book made plenty of sense without every part. i'm a nerd, so after i finished the series i bought the reference guide to dunnett's works - in your case, borrow it off your mom if you want a bibliography BUT you definitely don't need one to start off with! don't let the option of rich references hold you back from getting into the meat of these books - complicated relationships, high stakes shenanigans, schemes on schemes, and some gorgeous whump!!!

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batboys/YJ Boys Reaction To You Falling Asleep On Them

req: Hiya! If this is weird you don't have to write it but I fall asleep everywhere. All the time. So I was wondering if you would write a batboys/young justice boys reaction to their like s/o falling aslee on them and it's all fluffy and cute? I love your blog thanks!"

hi angel! this is totally cute hehe i also have a couple fics ab this too if u wanna read them :D anywho i hope you enjoy!

(i didn't do my normal 8 i picked the cutest ones so i could go a little more in depth i hope that's okay i can always do a pt 2!)

Tim Drake:

- i imagine this HAS to be you passing out next to him while he's grinding out case files

- you convinced him to slouch next to you while you watched tv and he worked on cases then suddenly your head lolled onto his shoulder and the slight vibrations of your breath clouded his brain

- he tried to focus through it the first 80 seconds but when your head started to fall off his shoulder he suddenly became a living y/n pillow, timidly wrapping his arm around you to prop you up better while trying to will his heart back down as it tried to beat out of his chest

- when you woke up you were on his chest, his arm slung around you, and a blanket draped over the two of you (thanks alfred) and he was passed out in his deepest sleep for a while

- needless to say there was definitely a "so hi good morning yea i'm in love with you too" conversation when he woke up and it was ADORABLE

Wally West:

- he'd love that shit at the beginning, thinking it's adorable how you can fall asleep standing up while he rocks you back and forth

- then he gets kinda antsy

- he resolved this problem by just picking you up bridal style and carrying you around with him

- like you'd pass out on the couch with him and then he's like "i want to go to my room for my phone" and suddenly you're picked up ever so delicately and promptly moved wherever he's off to next

- it literally looks like he's kidnapping you (he kinda is) but everybody learned to normalize it and now it's just a fundamental part of life like "op where ya off to wally?" "oh y/n fell asleep so we're going back to bed" and it's just normal now lmao

Jason Todd:

- i have this inexplainable belief that when you fall asleep randomly jason just instinctively wraps you in a blanket burrito

- when he was a kid alfred and bruce would find him sleeping around the manor (being robin is hard) and always tucked him in with a pillow and fuzzy blanket and he instinctively carried this concept over to you

- now, whenever you fall asleep he'll gently pull you out of the strange position and place you on the nearest soft surface then proceed to wrap you in either one of his massive sweatshirts (it's basically a blanket on you) or one of the fuzzy blankets he stole from dick

- you always wake up burrito-ed in, like the sides tucked and everything, jason's usually nearby- cooking or reading or there's a small note explaining that he's off vigilante-ing

- now it's a staple in your relationship, and on the off chance jay falls asleep randomly he can expect to wake up wrapped in fluffy warmth with you cuddled into his chest

- tim and dick have SO many blackmail photos of y'all snuggled up but bruce has a single, small picture he always keeps close of the two of you wrapped together the way he taught jason all those years ago ;) proud batdad moment

Gar Logan:

- gar LOVES that you're down to curl up for a catnap at any given time ;)

- he's content to let you cuddle in his lap while he plays video games, though he's definitely gotten in trouble for yelling too loud (not like you can't just fall back asleep lol)

- he also likes to suprise you with food or little gifts when you wake up, you love waking up to his large mischievous grin as he shows you his lastest find

- there's literally nothing better than deciding which fluffy animal you want to cuddle each day, so far pandas rank pretty high, very close to st. bernard doggos and tigers (which are surprisingly soft) but there's also something special about cuddling gar himself, letting him mindlessly run his hands through your hair while you use the slow sound of his breath to lull you to sleep, safe and protected by your guardian angel beast :)

Damian Wayne:

- dami is very chill about it, he won't necessarily cuddle you and swoon over your sleeping form rather defend you from any incoming "threats"

- "drake i recognize your step pattern, y/n is asleep and you shall not dare to wake them"

- "yes. y/n is asleep, do not stare Kent, it's rude"

- he takes special joy in getting to wake you up, there's a certain pride in knowing he's the last person you see before sleep and the first person you wake up to

- "mhm beloved we must go, please wake up dearest i hope you slept well" he's so soft with you, his tone still deep and rumbling but softer and cooler than his normal harsh quips

- he won't admit it, but his heart does a somersault everytime you do that little wake up yawn and stretch, if he weren't around his family he'd probably wrap you in his embrace and kiss your face until you'd completely woken up from the tickling

- but for now, he settles with holding your hand and gently guiding you wherever you're headed next, giving a loving squeeze to remind you he's always there for you no matter where you decided to pass out next

i hope you enjoyed! thanks for the req :) lmk if y'all would want a part two! ily!

[wroteasongabouther]

can’t stand to see you lonely: part 2

a/n: thank you all so so sooooo much for the love on the first part of cstsyl ❤️ i hope you guys like part 2 just as much, and please reblog/leave me any feedback if you can as if really just makes me smile and helps with the engagement and blah blah blah u know the drill lol

and thank you to the lovely jill @havethetimeofyourstyles​​, jess @arrogantstyles​ and wendy @bookwormandtea​ for beta reading for me!

word count: 15k

warnings: mentions of death, couples fighting, awkward silence in elevators, and addicting candy cane pretzels.

fic page // let’s chat! // cstsyl playlist

They were fighting again. Y/N’s voice was booming through the walls, her boyfriend’s echoing after hers. Harry tries his best to focus on anything but their voices, but he can’t. It doesn’t make him feel all that great listening to the girl he had only seen smile and had been making laugh over the past two weeks, now yelling on the other side of the wall between them.

Harry plucks a soft melody on his guitar as he lounges on his couch. His hands absentmindedly playing the four chords that have been stuck in his head all morning while he attempts to write lyrics to the melody. Only, he was having a bit of trouble doing so as he listened to Y/N’s voice again.  

“Honestly, Mark! Really?” Y/N’s shouting is muffled, but Harry hears her still. “You really think that it doesn’t bother…” The rest of her words are a bit harder to hear as she quiets her voice. Harry never imagined he’d hear her raise her voice like that. That soft, sweet and gentle tone that he has spent dreaming about for weeks now.

Harry’s still plucking the chords he’s grown obsessed with, humming along while zoning out on the blank tv in front of him. He feels selfish, and rather ridiculous too, not wanting to imagine Y/N with another man. But he also feels selfish that he’s not upset over the fact they’re fighting for the third time in two days. Harry shakes his head and scolds himself for the thought. Regardless of his feelings, he shouldn't want Y/N to feel this way. He can tell these couple days must’ve been hard on her, working all day and then coming home to only end up in a yelling match with her prick of a boyfriend. 

Harry rolls his eyes and notices that the shouting has stopped. The silence of his apartment, aside from his guitar, only makes him feel a bit sadder. 

“I’m selfish, I know,” Harry sings, “but I don’t ever want to see you with him.” 

Suddenly, his phone chimes from where it’s sat on the table, signalling an incoming phone call from Mitch. A picture of the two of them together in the studio last spring shows on the screen, Mitch tucked under Harry’s arm as they’re both slouching into the couch they sat on. Harry reaches for his phone and swipes his finger across the screen to accept his call. 

“Hey,” Harry mutters into the phone, focusing on getting together his notebook and cleaning up the few torn crumpled pieces of paper littering his coffee table.

“Hey, you leaving your place soon?” Mitch asks. Harry can hear traffic in the background, meaning that he had already left his place that's located much closer to the studio than his own apartment is. Moving his shoulder up a little, he holds his phone between his ear and shoulder in order to use both hands as he sets his guitar into the open case that’s sitting on the chaise lounge of his couch. Then scrambling around to gather the scrap paper and glass of water he had, standing up with his trash in hand to throw away and glass in the other to put in the sink.

“Just about to,” Harry answers honestly, making his way into his kitchen to clean up. He sighs after clearing his hands and returns his phone to his left hand to hold now.

“You get busy with that neighbour of yours again. Got a new crush, H?” Mitch teases him. Rolling his eyes, Harry brushes a hand on his light wash jeans before patting his pocket to make sure his thin wallet was still there. 

“No,” he mutters, obviously lying to his best mate - which Mitch is very aware of as he hums in response. “I’ll be there in, like, 20 if the tube isn’t a horror show.” 

“You’ve lived here for nearly 3 years now, think you can call it the subway yet?” 

“Nope,” Harry sighs. There were a few things his British instincts kicked in for; many different phrases and words he knew would stick in his vocabulary despite how many years he’s been in the U.S. Harry’s grabbing his green winter coat and slipping on his boots as he holds the phone between his shoulder and ear again. “Should I grab the gang some coffee on my way? Seeing as I’ll probably be the last to arrive,” Harry says in a tight voice, his annoyance from hearing Y/N and her boyfriend still clear even in his phone call with his mate. 

“Don’t count on it. Tom hasn't answered his phone all morning, so something tells me he’s preoccupied,” Mitch suggests. Harry recalls the text he had gotten from his friend Tom, saying that he and the Missus were planning to celebrate their anniversary early this year. Mitch seems to be hinting that their celebrations have fallen into the morning too. Harry bets that Tom being MIA was because of his two children. The two of them knew how to gang up on their dad already at a young age—he couldn't imagine how they’d be when they grew up. 

“He’s a dad, Mitch, that's probably what he’s preoccupied with,” Harry states. After putting on his coat, he walks over to clasp the case for his guitar closed and heaves it up before heading for the door. 

“Point being, don’t bother with coffee. I’m in line at Starbucks anyways. Did you want anything?” Mitch asks.

“A slice or two of the banana loaf, please,” Harry requests, his stomach growling at the thought of food. Time had slipped by him this morning, listening to Y/N and her boyfriend argue, and he hadn’t eaten more than an apple for breakfast. 

Harry double checks the lights are off in his apartment before shutting the door behind him, setting his guitar down to rest on the wall to his left, and locking it quickly. Mitch is complaining in his ear about some Karen at the front of the line. Harry chuckles at his friends colourful words and picks up his guitar, not sparing a glance at Y/N’s door as he walks to the elevator and hits the down button to call it to his floor. Not even a ten seconds go by and he hears someone exiting their apartment behind him. Harry doesn’t want to look over his shoulder to check, not wanting to see Mark and Y/N walking hand in hand towards him. So, he keeps his eyes trained up on the red numbers rising above the elevator doors, signalling it’s arrival, soon hopefully. 

“Hey, Harry right?” Mark questions, pointing a finger at Harry as him and Y/N stepped up to the elevator. Y/N tries her best not to frown. She hates the way Harry doesn’t smile at her first before meeting Mark’s eyes and nodding. 

“Hey,” Harry says. He turns his head and catches Y/N’s gaze. “What are you guys up to?” 

Y/N knows he’s simply being polite, something Mark wouldn’t care to be - seeing as he’s already got his phone out of his pocket, and is staring at the screen as he answers. “Y/N’s driving me to the airport,” he states. 

Harry looks at Mark, anger bubbling inside of him as he clutches the guitar case in his hand. The elevator doors open then, a light bing! coming from inside. Mark enters first, not even bothering to look at Y/N or Harry, but then Harry waves his free hand in motion to let Y/N walk in before him. She smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear as she walks into the small space and stands beside Mark. 

“Thanks,” she says in a soft voice as Harry hits the button for the lobby. She takes note of the guitar case in his hand. “Are you heading to the studio?” She asks, pointing to the bulky item he’s carrying. 

Harry looks down at his guitar case, “yeah, last day before everyone gets their break.” 

“No more counting down the days then, huh?” She asks, mentioning their previous discussion about how people typically countdown the days till they have time off - her included this year. But Harry had mentioned that he wasn’t looking forward to his days away from the studio. He didn’t think she’d remember that. 

“Counting the days till I’m back in the studio now,” Harry says. Y/N smiles and Harry’s heart bursts at the sight. Having heard her raised voice earlier today, being sure a scowl was etched on her face, he was glad to see her lips turned upward. Mark clears his throat then, causing both Y/N and Harry to quit looking into each other's eyes and step back into reality - her boyfriend was right beside them. 

“Studio? What are you, a singer or something?” Mark asks Harry. His eyes catch sight of Mark’s arm snaking around Y/N’s back, resting lazily on her left hip as they stood there. Harry licked his lips and almost nodded, but was quick to catch himself and shook his head instead. “What kind of studio then? Movies?” Mark continues to question him. 

“A music studio, I’m just a musician,” Harry answers. 

“Oh,” Mark says, “cool,” he adds with a shrug. The elevator doors open and Mark guides him and Y/N out of the small space. “Well, see ya around, ‘Arry,” Mark says with a smug look, trying to mimic his accent. But he butchers it, of course, sounding more like Hagrid from Harry Potter. Mark then waves and turns himself and Y/N to the right of the lobby that leads to the stairwell that went down to the underground parking lot. 

Y/N only gets to give Harry a quick smile before Mark turns her away. She wants to apologize for Mark’s ridiculous behaviour, feeling embarrassed by it. She also wanted to say that Harry wasn't just a musician, he was a songwriter too, which therefore meant he was a storyteller, and in her eyes songwriters were some of the most creative and talented people. Y/N wanted to shut Mark up and start bragging about Harry, like he was her boyfriend and Mark was just some dumb prick. 

Y/N rolls her lips into her mouth and licks them, glancing quickly over her shoulder before getting to the door. Her eyes meet Harry’s intense stare, him looking over his shoulder at her too, and her stomach erupts with butterflies. But then it flips and flops with nerves and her hands suddenly being tugged on by her boyfriend, holding open the door with his hip as he walks them through the doorway and out of Harry’s sight. 

Harry finds himself thinking about Y/N the whole way to the studio—as if he hasn’t stopped thinking about her and her boyfriend over the past couple days anyways. Did she ever mention being in a relationship, even in the most subtle way? Did he misinterpret her kindness for flirting like an absolute idiot? These questions were on a loop inside of his head until he walked into the studio, flashed the front desk his ID badge, and headed to studio B where he and his mates would be working today. 

“And he’s made it,” Mitch announces as Harry pushes closed the door and walks the few steps to his left where the brown leather couch was against the wall. Adam is sitting on the couch, the phone in his hand chimes as he types on it quickly, merely giving Harry a quick smile before looking back at the screen. Mitch is standing by the switch board, leaning back against it as he stares Harry down. Next to him is Tom, sitting in his chair and facing his many computer screens as he gets everything up and going for the day. 

“And I see we were both wrong and Tom beat me,” Harry states. He sets his guitar down, leaning it against the side of the couch before sitting himself down beside Adam.

“I wasn’t answering my phone because I was already on my way over here way before any of you slowpokes, and then I turned off my ringer once I got in here,” Tom explains, leaning back in his chair while his eyes stay on the screen. But then he twirls around, facing Harry and Adam, and gives Adam a bored look. “Like we all agreed to do, right Adam?” 

“Relax, I’ll do it after I send this last text,” Adam says. 

“Sure,” Tom mutters, swivelling his chair back around and grabbing the mouse to continue his set up.  

“Jeez, Tommy,” Mitch chuckles, “did you not get any last night or something? What’s got your panties in a knot?” 

Harry’s eyebrows pull down as he takes in his friends stiff posture as Mitch’s words seem to sink in. “Wasn��t it your anniversary date last night?” He questions, keeping his voice light and not as daunting as Mitch’s had been. 

Tom turns back around to face the boys and makes a big show of rolling his eyes. “Yeah, it was supposed to be, but then our babysitter called and was all freaked out and of course Jenny got all freaked out too. I tried to tell her it wasn’t that big of a deal and they could handle it, but we still ended up leaving our hotel room at nine o’clock and dealt with our two crying children who just missed their mommy. I was in bed by eleven.” Tom explains his night, ending with rubbing a hand up and down his face as he was clearly annoyed by the whole situation. 

“That’s just life as a parent, man,” Adam states. “Emi and I didn’t have a single date night till Spike was five,” he adds with a shrug. 

“Yeah, I get it but it’s just upsetting to have this whole night planned and then it not happen,” Tom says. Harry knew that feeling; he may have not had a full anniversary night away planned like Tom did, but the other day he was racking up things to do with Y/N before he was introduced to her boyfriend. 

Harry zones out, eyes glued on the coffee table in front of him as he sighs softly, leaning back into the couch as he was getting wrapped up in his thought of Y/N, again. I could still be her friend, he thinks. Even though it’d hurt to see her with her boyfriend, to hear about a date night or see them kiss. The ache already begins in Harry’s chest as the mere thought of it, and he finds himself bringing a hand up and rubbing over his heart subconsciously. 

“Harry,” Mitch calls, forcing Harry to snap out of his thoughts and look up at where he stood. He raises his eyebrows, making Harry think that he had said his name more than once but was ignored. 

“What’s going on?” Tom asks Harry. 

“He’s probably thinking about his latest little crush,” Mitch smirks, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Who is it this time?” Adam asks in a monotone voice.

“His new neighbour. Supposedly, she’s rather beautiful in Harry’s eyes,” Mitch teases. 

“Not just in my eyes,” Harry mumbles, looking at his lap and picking off an invisible piece of lint. 

“What do you mean?” Tom questions. 

Harry hears Tom’s chair squeak suddenly, making Harry assume that he must be leaning back in it again. Harry looks up to see he’s right - Tom’s got his arms crossed at his chest like Mitch while they’re both staring him down. Harry lets out a sigh and shakes his head, leaning further into the back of the couch while he licks his lips and looks anywhere but at his friends’ faces - not wanting to see their taunting looks when he tells them. 

“She’s got a boyfriend,” Harry says in a low voice. 

Mitch inhales a sharp breath, hissing through his teeth as he walks over and clamps a hand down on Harry’s shoulder. “That’s tough man,” he says. 

Harry shakes his head again and sits up, causing Mitch’s hand to fall off his shoulder. “It’s not just tough. I get I have these crushes on people a lot, but I don’t know, there was just something different between us. We really clicked and I just thought we’d at least get to go out a few times,” he speaks softly into the quiet room,the support of some of his closest mates surrounding him.

“Have you written about how you’re feeling?” Tom asks. Harry nods and reaches for his guitar without a second thought, taking it out of the case and positioning the instrument in his lap. 

“This is gonna be good,” Mitch nods his head and rolls over the second chair that occupied the room. Harry shakes his head at his friends comment. 

“I’ve just had this tune in my head for a couple days now, and I’ve only come up with a few lyrics really, so I don’t know how good it will be,” he explains. 

Harry plays the song he’s been playing all morning for the other three in the room. The soft acoustic guitar fills the silence, the twang from his guitar strings echoing off the walls. Harry shuts his eyes and lets his voice build up as he sings the two lines he’s been thinking about for a few days now. He feels it deep in his chest, the truth behind his words. Suddenly, more lyrics filter out of his mouth that hadn’t come up before. 

“I’m selfish I know,” he sings, “I’d tell you but I know you’d never listen.”

It’s not entirely the truth, because he’s sure that Y/N would listen to anything he had to say. He’s also sure that if he walked up to her right now, ran out of this studio and back to the apartment and waited outside her door, begging for her to break up with him, that she wouldn’t listen. Harry believes that she’s a better person than that - that regardless if she felt what he had over their past few encounters, she wouldn’t listen to what he wanted and would figure things out herself. 

“I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in,” Tom suddenly sings along to the tune that Harry’s still playing. Harry opens his eyes in a flash and looks at his friend, but Tom’s back is already to him as he’s facing his computer again. “I have the perfect piano and drums mix for this. I’ve had it kind of hidden away for the right time and I think this is it.” 

And that’s when the magic happens. Harry puts down his guitar and gets right into the lyrics, pouring himself into yet another song. He lets his feelings out about the situation he’s gotten himself into with Y/N, and mixes it with some poetry he’s written previously in his journal. You flower, you feast, is something he’s had for quite some time but had never felt it really fit into any of his other songs. And yet somehow in this song full of duck noises, a guitar solo, and many lalalala’s, it somehow found its place. 

Not to mention that Mitch absolutely murders the guitar solo. His long hair acts as a curtain as he sways to the music and lets himself go. Nearly every time that Mitch goes in for a solo, he doesn’t remember what he plays because he’s in such a trance, so Tom has to play it back for him if he needs to fix anything up. Overall, the song inspired by Y/N and her shit boyfriend is pretty great. 

“Anything else you’ve got to bring to the table, Harry?” Tom asks after nearly six hours of working on perfecting their new song ‘Woman’ - named solely because of the repeating of the word in the course, which was chosen because he felt like he was calling out to Y/N in this song. Saying woman over and over again at her in hopes to get her attention. He simply shrugs and stretches back into the couch, sprawling his legs out in front of him while staring down at his journal that’s sitting in his lap. 

“I’ve been writing this one based off a man I see everyday during my breakfast at the cafe down the street from my apartment,” he says. Harry clears his throat and sort of talk-sings what his idea of the melody is with the lyrics he’s got. “Nine in the morning, man drops his kids off at school. And he’s thinking of you, like all of us do. Sends his assistant for coffee in the afternoon, around one thirty two.” 

“Alright, I like it,” Adam nods his head.

“Who’s he thinking of?” Mitch teases, “like all of us do,” he adds with a smirk. His lips then wrap around the straw that was in the can of Pepsi he had gotten from the mini fridge a while ago. Harry rolls his eyes and kicks out his foot in order to nudge Mitch’s leg from where he’s sitting in the desk chair he’s gotten comfortable in. 

“Shut up,” Harry grumbles. Adam, Mitch and Tom all chuckle at their friend’s pout, which just makes him smile. He knew that coming into the studio and writing and making music about his situation with Y/N would ultimately make it feel even a little bit better. During the making of their newest song, his friends did give him some advice. 

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, H,” Adam had said with a smile. 

But there’s no way of knowing how he’ll feel when he bumps into her again, whether she’s with her boyfriend or not. 

It’s been a tough few days for Y/N. Not only has work been crazy because not one, but two interns got sick with a stomach bug; meaning she was currently filling their job on top of her own and running around the city - but she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Harry. 

She is in her own head again as she walks into the Gucci store on Fifth Ave. for the third time in two days. As Greg approaches her, she appreciates his light pink suit with a white ruffled shirt underneath. His bald head shines under the lights of the store, but that smile was much brighter and obviously, professionally whiten. Greg gives her a kiss on the cheek, saying they are a bit behind with her packages since it’s such a busy time for them as well. Y/N just nods and gives him a smile, accepting the flute of champagne as she takes a seat and waits. This is honestly the first time she’s gotten a chance to sit all day, but of course, she spends it zoning out on a sparkly dress hung up a few feet away from her as her mind begins to think of anything but work. 

Mark and her started dating only a mere four months ago. After meeting at a bar in the Upper East Side, he practically stalked her - which isn't too hard considering her social media following - and sent her flowers to work for three days straight till she agreed to go on a date with him. Turned out that he wasn’t just some business man out on the town with some work buddies, but an heir to one of the country's biggest companies. Therefore, meaning that when the gossip started of the two of them seeing each other, Y/N’s mom was the first person to call. 

“You hit the jackpot, baby!” She basically screamed into Y/N’s ear. 

Y/N only rolled her eyes at her mothers words. Her mother was the typical New Jersey girl that grew up with big dreams of pinning down a wealthy New York City man - and kudos to her for doing it. Her dad, bless his heart, was an older naive man who somehow managed to fertilize her mother’s gold digging eggs and voila, Y/N was born. But with that being said, Y/N was lucky enough to have family money, so she never felt the need to be in a relationship just because a man had more in his bank account. She also had better morals than her mother, and knew that money wasn’t a factor when you really loved someone. So no, Mark was not the jackpot because of his bank account. Y/N just thought he was really nice and attractive too, so she agreed to be his girlfriend those four months ago. But it wasn’t till a month ago that that nice streak ended. 

All of a sudden Y/N’s cell phone is ringing. She blinks out of her daze to realize she’s finished her glass of champagne while so deep in thought. Pulling out her phone, she looks at the screen to see it’s Mark calling. His ears must be burning, Y/N thinks.

“Hey,” Y/N answers softly, crossing a leg over the other and resting her elbow on her knee as she holds the phone to her ear. 

“Hey, babe,” Mark sighs. Y/N knows right away what he’s about to tell her, all by the tone of his voice and the use of that nickname. He used it when he asked her to drive him to the airport yesterday, which he forgot to mention he needed her to do till an hour before he had to leave - resulting in Y/N being very behind on work for the day.

“How’s Arizona?” Y/N asks politely anyway, mentioning the state he was in for business this time around. He was always traveling for work; his father wants him to know all the branch executives, so therefore he’s been to pretty much every state in the country over the course of six months. The moment they started to date Y/N knew he’d be working a lot, but she didn’t expect him to be working all over the country. She’s lucky if she gets a weekend with him, and honestly, she was looking forward to the almost two weeks work free they’d be getting together. But something told her that was not going to happen. 

“It’s good, hot,” he says, seeming distracted by something in the background to which he moves the phone away from his mouth to respond to someone around him. “No, no, not those, the red ones,” he orders. 

“Mark?” Y/N questions, keeping her voice down as Greg and one of his associates come from the backroom then with a few boxes in hand. “I’m just a bit busy with work, was there a reason for you calling, hun?” 

“Right…Well, unfortunately my time at the Arizona office will be extended. So, I’m not going to make it back to New York before Christmas,” Mark explains. Y/N frowns at his words even though it’s just as she imagined when she answered his call.

“When will you be back?” She asks, her eyebrows pulled together and lip pouting out slightly. 

“That’s the thing, there’s really no point in me flying back to the East Coast so close to the holidays when I’ve got to be in Los Angeles for my family’s big festivities.”

“Oh,” Y/N says. She���s only sad for a moment, noticing that Mark is distracted by something in the background once again as his voice is muffled. “So when exactly are you planning to come back to the city, Mark?” She asks as she sits up and projects her voice louder into her phone. Greg and his associate seem to notice Y/N demeanour change, his baby blue eyes widening slightly as he sets the boxes down on the couch beside her.

“I don’t know-”

Y/N doesn’t let him speak, though, her anger getting the best of her for what feels like the millionth time since she began dating Mark. It’s so unlike her, she thinks. She shakes her head and says, “you don’t plan to come back to New York and spend any part of the holidays with your girlfriend? Your girlfriend who very much loves the holidays, by the way.”

“I’m aware of your love for the holidays, Y/N, little hard to not know when your apartment looks like a four year old decorated it with all that crap,” Mark huffs into the phone, his voice matching her tone. 

“Oh my god, whatever, Mark,” Y/N snaps in a low voice, having to take a deep breath as she stares down at the floor. “Just go and have fun on the West Coast, don’t worry one bit about me ‘cause it seems you haven’t bothered to to begin with,” Y/N finds herself seething into the phone, keeping her voice low before pulling her phone away from her ear and hanging up before he can say one more thing to upset her. 

She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. Focusing on making her heart beat slow down and her hands to stop shaking. Did she just break up with him? No, no I didn’t say the words, I didn’t say it’s over and maybe I should have, Y/N thinks while letting out another short breath through her nose. She did not deserve this and she knew she didn’t, and yet she keeps putting up with his extended work trips and him disrespecting her opinions. Mark wanted a woman like Y/N’s mother. One that didn’t have her own hobbies and her own dreams, and who just wanted to be on his arm and live with whatever he put them through. Or did she even give him a real chance? That little voice in the back of her head, the one that was planted by her own mother, asks her. 

“You look like you need another glass, mi amor,” Greg says softly, bringing her to open her eyes once more and realize that she did in fact just have a fight with her boyfriend over the phone in public. In front of a supplier too. Her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Thankfully, she thought of Greg as more of a friend than in a professional view. She smiles at him, forcing it, while he holds up the bottle of champagne and fills her glass. 

“Thank you,” she says quietly. 

“You’re welcome,” he nods, turning to his left to grab the second tall glass and fills it as well. Y/N chuckles as he brings it to his own mouth and has a sip. “What? The holidays are stressful, I deserve a glass too every once in a while.” Y/N only laughs again and raises her flute, Greg lifts his own to cheers her before they both take a sip. “Did you want to talk about it?” He asks after a beat of silence. 

Y/N licks her lips, tasting the expensive champagne all over again. “It’s just,” Y/N sighs and runs a hand through her hair before she continues, “I thought that Mark was different when I first met him. He sent flowers to my work and took me to nice restaurants. He seemed to be really into me, and now, he’s really into his work and he thinks my love for the holidays is childish, and that my opinions and my time don’t matter. So, I’m starting to think I jumped into this relationship, maybe a bit too fast all because my mom approved of his last name and Sammy thought he was hot.” Y/N rants in a rush of words, bringing her flute to her lips afterwards for another sip.

Greg doesn’t respond right away, instead he too sips his champagne and looks around the room they sat in. He sighs and brings a hand down on Y/N’s thigh, causing her to look at him. He smiles and gives her a comforting pat. 

“You are a young woman in New York City who’s really got her shit together, you know your worth, Y/N,” Greg says. Y/N mirrors his smile, feeling the back of her eyes threaten with tears at his sweet words. “You’ll know what to do about this man,” he adds with a wink. Greg removes his hand and lifts his flute to finish off his champagne. “Plus, men are trash anyways,” he mutters as his eyes wander around the room that’s quickly filling up with customers. 

Y/N laughs, “yes, Greg, they can be.” She agrees. But there’s one man that comes to her mind. One with enchanting green eyes, beautiful dimples, a contagious laugh, and a certain swoon worthy accent. 

And yet, Y/N is not surprised when her thoughts drift off to Harry again. In fact, she thinks about him the entire way back to her office, the few boxes from Greg in her arms as she travels on the subway and walks carefully on the slushy shovelled snow that covers the sidewalks. What is he up to today? She thinks, knowing that he must’ve gotten home from the studio late yesterday - maybe even this morning. She worked late on emails last night, only having her Christmas playlist playing softly from her TV, and she didn’t hear him get home. She wonders if he sleeps in when he does that, or if he still manages to get up early and do whatever it is he does every day. She doesn’t know his daily routine, but she admits to herself that she’s curious.

Having done the errands that were needed for the day, Y/N ends up sitting at her desk for the remaining three hours of her work day. Her and Amanda go over new interns to hire, seeing as Y/N’s boss doesn’t want her away from the office doing intern work forever. And then she and Sammy are walking out of the building together at five o’clock sharp. They endured yet another eleven hour work day today. And this was one of the easiest days this week, since it was spent shopping around and organizing the office. Tomorrow there would be two A-list clients coming in for their last styling of the year, both finalizing their outfits for the upcoming Grammy awards too.

“You seem off today,” Sammy says as they walk down the stairs to the subway. 

“I, um,” Y/N licks her lips and narrows her eyes at the screen that reads when the next stop would be. She looks at her friend and sighs. “I got into a fight with Mark earlier,” she states. 

“Another one?” Sammy questions, raising a brow and giving her a look that said ‘really?’.

“Yup,” Y/N says, rolling her lips into her mouth and nodding. “He’s too busy with work to come back to the city for the rest of the month, said he doesn’t see the point in coming back even for a day before he has to go back home to the West Coast. So, I ended up yelling at him in the middle of the Gucci store.” 

“Are you for real?” Sammy asks in shock, his eyes widening as Y/N explains what her boyfriend had told her earlier. 

“Yup,” she repeats, nodding her head again too. “Oh, and he said my apartment looked like a four year old decorated it and it looked like crap,” Y/N chuckles, realizing now how stupid Mark’s fighting words were. 

“Y/N,” Sammy sighs, “dump him,” he says while placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a sympathetic smile. “I get that you wanted to give this guy a chance, but all you guys ever do is fight and I don’t want to say it but I’m going to,” he sighs again dramatically, “I’ve seen you smile over that new neighbour of yours more than Mark in the past few weeks. That’s a sign.”

“But what if I didn’t give Mark a real chance? And what if I’m just playing Harry up in my head-”

“No, none of that,” Sammy shakes his head and stares deep into Y/N’s eyes. “You are the most polite and sweetest person I’ve ever met. There’s no way in hell you didn’t give Mark a chance, hell you gave him a million chances, let’s face it. And as for Harry, you’ll never know unless you get to know him.” 

Y/N rolls her eyes as Sammy drops his hand and tilts his head to the side. She notices the platform getting busier and louder then, as the subway makes way towards them from the North. This was her ride, while Sammy had to wait another ten minutes for the one that went to Brooklyn. Y/N thinks about what Sammy had said. Maybe she did give Mark plenty of chances and maybe their time was up, but that doesn’t mean she feels comfortable jumping right back into the game of dating with Harry. Plus, how bad would that make her look. Harry would probably think she didn’t care about relationships and typically shuffled around boys, which was so far from her case. In fact it was why she was so hesitant to date Mark in the first place - she didn’t like to give her time and love to just anyone. It’s just too bad she didn’t realize that Mark wasn’t worth it sooner. 

“If I’m just getting out of this relationship with Mark, I can’t just start dating Harry,” Y/N exclaims to Sammy.

“I didn’t say date him right away, I said get to know him,” Sammy states, “hang out, be his friend, and if things happen then they happen. The world works in funny ways,” Sammy says matter of factly, pointing a finger at her while she starts taking a few steps towards the subway that’s coming to a stop. “We’ll talk later! Dump the fucking guy though!” Sammy shouts as Y/N just shakes her head and rolls her eyes while getting into the mass of people cramming on the subway. 

“Yeah, dump the son of a bitch,” a croaky voice startles Y/N as she gets through the door. An elderly woman is smiling back at her, her yellow teeth contrasting against her dark skin as she smiles wickedly at Y/N. She chuckles awkwardly and nods, walking across the space to an open seat. 

Opening her purse, she finds her Airpods and puts them into her ears. They connect to her phone automatically and she begins to tap on her phone, deciding on which playlist she wants to listen to on her way home. Once she clicks shuffle on her ‘girl freaking power’ playlist, she turns it all the way up and lets the anger in Halsey’s voice fuel her own anger towards her shit boyfriend. She thinks of their fights that have happened recently the whole ride on the subway, then she thinks if it’d be too cruel of her to break up with him over the phone as she walks the few blocks to her apartment building. If he broke up with me over the phone I’d be a little upset, Y/N thinks with a frown as she walks across the lobby to the elevator. 

Y/N, who was so in her own world with her music still turned up all the way as a new song by Olivia O’Brien, doesn’t even realize when Harry walks up beside her. He can hear her music blasting through her earphones. He leans forwards a bit, hoping to get in her line of sight. But she is still focused on the elevator doors, nodding her head to whatever song she’s got playing. Harry’s lips tug up into a smile. When he first saw her standing there when he entered the building he got a little nervous, unsure how this interaction between them would go. Should he apologize right away for not knowing she had a boyfriend and asking her for dinner?

“Hello?” Harry sings. “Y/N?” He calls in a normal voice. This time she seems to notice that someone is beside her. She jumps slightly, placing a hand over her heart and reaches up with the other to take out an Airpod which causes her music to stop completely. 

“You scared me,” she breathes out. 

“Sorry,” Harry says, giving her a timid smile. “I tried getting your attention a few times, it must be a good song.” 

She looks down at the earphone in her hand and nods, “uh, yeah, just really into empowering female music today.” She states. 

Harry hums and nods, then the elevator opens, revealing a few people inside which causes Y/N to step towards him as they move out of the way. If he hadn’t taken a step back fast enough she'd practically be right up against him. He breathes in and smells her perfume, the intoxicating scent of rose filling his nostrils with her being so close. Y/N gives a quick ‘you’re welcome’ to the people who step out as they thank them for moving before they both step into the elevator together. Harry was too busy thinking about how close Y/N had been to step up and hit the number six button before he could. He gives her a smile in thanks.

The elevator begins to ascend as the space falls into silence between them. They’re both overthinking. What should I say? Is what is on both their minds as they pass the first floor, and then the second. Harry lets out a short breath through his nose before leaning his back against the railing. 

“I’m sorry for being so clueless,” he states, pausing when Y/N’s head whips up and her eyes meet his. “I didn’t think you’d have a boyfriend and I just didn’t think twice before asking you if you wanted to get dinner,” he says, finally getting the thought off his chest. 

Y/N furrows her brows, “and why did you think I wouldn’t have a boyfriend?” She asks, teasing him, but Harry’s face falls and he stands straight once again, bringing both his hands up and waves them in front of himself as if in surrender. 

“Not that you’re like not pretty enough for a boyfriend, or nice enough, cause to be quite honest I would be surprised if you didn’t have a boyfriend cause you are like the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and not to mention really nice and super cool too-” 

“I was just teasing you, Harry,” Y/N stops him. But his words had caused quite the feeling inside her stomach, butterflies were multiplying like it was nobody's business while she swore she felt her heartbeat in the soles of her feet. 

“Oh,” he breathes out, “right. Well, still, I’m sorry.” He casts his eyes down to the floor, feeling his cheeks warm up from embarrassment. The elevator sounds a quiet bing! as the doors open for them on the sixth floor. Harry lifts his eyes to meet Y/N’s once more, motioning with his hand for her to exit first. She smiles and walks out with him right behind her. 

Y/N doesn’t say anything till she’s at her apartment door, her key in the lock, and she notices Harry is at his door a few feet away. She sighs and stops twisting the key, letting her shoulder sag as she looks over at Harry. 

“I’m sorry too, by the way,” she says. Harry looks up at the sound of her voice, thinking she was simply going to take in her apology and go about her merry life with Mark. He watches her tongue dart out and wet her lips as she leans into her door. “I should have mentioned Mark, even just in a quick comment, but honestly our relationship is sort of new and even a little non-existent at times, it seems, so I guess I was just enjoying making a new friend. I didn’t even think about it,” Y/N explains herself. 

Harry takes in her words; that her relationship is new, and non-existent? He wonders what she means by that. But he can’t help but smile at her mentioning that she enjoyed becoming his friend. Harry nods his head and let’s his smile grow wider, knowing his dimples would show. 

“I’d like to keep being your friend,” Y/N adds, “if that’s okay?” 

“It’s totally okay,” Harry nods. Y/N smiles and nods back. 

“Okay,” she says softly. 

Harry fits his key into the lock without looking, keeping his eyes on Y/N’s as he notices her cheeks glowing a shade of pink. “How about a movie night? Tomorrow? If you’re not busy, of course,” Harry suggests, twisting his key and unlocking the door. 

“I think I’m free. It’ll have to be Christmas themed, of course,” Y/N says, narrowing her eyes as if to challenge Harry to fight her on it - like Mark would. 

“Well, yeah,” Harry scoffs, eyebrows pulled together and head shaking in faux disbelief. “Wouldn’t have it any other way during the month of December,” he adds. 

Why couldn’t I have moved in like six months ago? Y/N thinks to herself as she smiles at Harry. She finds herself liking him more with every word that comes out of that pretty mouth of his. If only she had met him before she met Mark. Things would be easier, that’s for sure.

The two of them agree on a time for tomorrow, six in the evening, before saying their goodbyes and walking into their homes that were side by side. After Y/N takes off her shoes and coat, she walks towards her bedroom to get changed into some workout clothes for a quick at home video before she ate dinner. Just as she’s changing she hears the muffled sounds of Harry’s guitar - something she’s grown fond of hearing through their shared wall. Maybe she’ll get him to play her something tomorrow, she thinks with a smile. 

Y/N makes her way back into her living room and starts up her workout video. She does some jumping jacks to get her warmed up, but honestly, her heart is already pounding in her chest from her interaction with Harry and the plans they have made. Without a doubt she knows she’ll be counting down the hours during her work day tomorrow till six o’clock.

Elf or Polar Express? Both were very different Christmas movies, and they were the two she was torn between taking over to Harry’s. They hadn’t talked about who’s apartment they would hang out in, but as it was ten minutes to six, she hoped to get out the door and knock on his first, in order to get the chance to ask him to play his guitar for her maybe. But that’s not how it’s going to work out because Y/N’s too busy being stuck between two of her favourite movies when suddenly, there’s a knock at her door. She frowns knowing that it’s Harry and wouldn’t get to hear him play guitar, but gets up from where she was sitting crossed legged on the floor to answer the door. 

Her fuzzy socks pad across the hardwood floor as she walks to her door, peering through the peephole quickly to double check to see it was Harry. She smiles at the sight of his floppy brown hair and unlocks her door before swinging it open. Harry looks up as she opens the door, meeting her gaze for only a moment before he watches her take in his apparel. 

He had thought about it for way too long, what he was to wear to hangout and watch movies with the girl he liked, but ended up staying dressed down as he was all day. Y/N liked how the plain white shirt he wore fit him, only a small brand logo that was over his heart, but she really liked the pastel rainbow coloured sweatpants he wore too. He looks comfy and ready to lay back and relax for a few hours with her. He’s not wearing any shoes though, which makes Y/N furrows her brows for a second. 

“I didn’t really see any point in putting on shoes for the few feet out of my apartment,” Harry states quickly to let her know. Y/N nods, chuckling under her breath, but understanding what he means. She steps back and lets him into her home. 

Harry takes in the atmosphere of Y/N’s apartment for the second time now. The glow from her many Christmas lights makes him feel warm inside, and her Christmas tree was the focal point of it all. He likes the odd ornaments that are littered among the branches, and he can’t quite make out what they all are, but something tells him that they each hold a special meaning to Y/N. Maybe some from her childhood, others from some trips she’s had - he could see her collecting them from anywhere she’s travelled to. Harry makes a mental note to ask her at one point. 

“I was thinking of making some hot chocolate, and I have a bag of, like, this candy cane and white chocolate pretzels that I’ve been obsessed with lately and was going to munch on that during the movie, but I have a bunch of other snacks too, honestly,” Y/N starts to explain to Harry. He turns on his heels to see she’s already locked her door and is now moving into the kitchen. 

“I’m cool with some hot chocolate,” Harry nods, “and I’ll give the pretzels a try, they sound good.” 

“They are so good, oh my god,” she moans at the mere thought of eating them. Bending down to open her bottom drawer, she reveals a well organized array of munchies that looked like a stoner's heaven. 

As she’s ruffling through the drawer Harry takes in her outfit. She’s got on a pair of Christmas themed pajama bottoms with little snowflakes scattered along the dark blue material that matched with her plain dark blue shirt. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun, wispy hairs falling around her face as it looks as though it’s been up all day and she hasn’t cared to fix it. Overall, she looks comfortable and at ease - as she should be in her own home. He had wondered if she ever dressed down, seeing as he had only ever seen her after a day of work dressed in trendy high fashion, but somehow casual clothing. Christmas pajamas suit her, he thinks with a smile.

Y/N gets a hold of the bag of pretzels she’s talking about and opens it, taking one out for herself right away to bite down on before turning to Harry who’s standing in her kitchen. She smiles at the pretzel and lifts the bag to him. Harry takes a few steps towards her before reaching into the bag and grabbing one for himself. He brings it to his mouth and Y/N watches for his reaction. His jaw flexes as he chews down on the sweet yet salty treat. 

Harry hums and nods, reaching into the bag again, “not bad,” he says before chewing on another one. Y/N smiles and passes him the bag all together, turning towards the stove top to turn on the kettle already filled with water. 

“Can you find two mugs in that cabinet?” Y/N asks Harry as she looks to her left and sees him standing in front of the cabinet that held her many mugs and glasses. She points to it and Harry nods. He puts the bag of pretzels down after sneaking one last one into his mouth, and opens the cabinet door to reveal Y/N’s collection of mugs. He goes for the two at the front, which were Christmas themed, of course; one shaped like the Grinch and the other like Santa. As he sets them down on the counter in front of him, beside the bag of pretzels that he sticks his hand into again, he notices a glass container full of brown powder that he assumes is her hot chocolate mix. 

“Is this your hot chocolate mix?” He asks, just to be sure.

“Yes,” Y/N nods, “I honestly make myself a cup almost every night during the colder seasons.” 

“Are you a coffee or tea person?” Harry asks, keeping his eyes on the container as he twists it open and sees a metal teaspoon measuring cup inside already. He starts to scoop some into each mug as he waits for Y/N’s answer. Although he is very aware of her possibly liking coffee, considering how he’s seen her with many Starbucks cups before. 

“Yeah, I enjoy both too. I have way too much coffee during my work days, and tea reminds me of the days at my grandparents,” she explains, watching Harry scoop her preferred amount of mix into each mug without even asking. She smiles softly, seeing him reach for yet another pretzel too. 

“Are you saying tea is for old people?” Harry questions, raising a brow as he peers at Y/N in the corner of his eye. Y/N rolls her eyes, a smile still on her lips. Her kettle begins to squeal into the air, but she’s quick to turn and take it off the heat. She turns off the stove and uses a tea towel to bring it over to the mugs - Harry steps back out of her way, but not before grabbing the bag of pretzels. 

“Old people and the British too, of course,” Y/N teases. 

Harry chuckles, “of course,” he says in agreement. He waits till Y/N fills the mugs and sets the kettle back down on the stovetop before he steps back to the counter and wraps a hand around the handle of the Grinch mug. Y/N is quick, stepping towards him and gently slapping his hand. 

Harry flinches his hand away and raises a brow at Y/N, jokingly taken back by her action. Y/N bites down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from giggling over how cute that look on his face was. 

“I have whipped cream that’s in a can, but it’s still good,” Y/N states, giving him a look that said ‘back off and let me do this’. Harry only chuckles again and nods. “Also slow down on the pretzels, if I don’t get any during the movie I’ll be very upset.”

“They’re addicting, sorry,” Harry mumbles through his mouth full of pretzels, a smile tugging at his mouth. 

“Trust me, I know. That’s like my fourth bag this week, I swear,” she states with a chuckle. 

As Y/N walks to her fridge Harry steps up to the mugs once more and takes a chance on the drawer directly under them for a spoon. His instincts are right as he pulls the drawer open to see her utensils; he grabs a teaspoon in order to stir the hot chocolate. Y/N turns back from the fridge with the whipped cream can in hand, turning around to see Harry focused on the mugs. She smiles, tilting her head as she watches him nudge the drawer closed with his hip, and begin to stir the contents of them till the powder was all mixed in with the water. Look at them being all domestic, she thinks. Licking her lips, she shakes her head a little and walks up to Harry, shaking the can of whipped cream and waits for him to finish stirring. He sets the spoon in the sink and watches as Y/N tops off the mugs with a heap of whipped cream. 

“You better actually eat the whipped topping this time,” Harry says to her teasingly, referring to when they had hot chocolate in the park, and she let her whipped cream melt. Y/N chuckles and brings the tip of the whipped cream can to her open mouth. 

She puts pressure on the top again and makes the sweet cream pile into her mouth as she tips her head back, the aerosol can is the only noise in the room as Harry watches her do it. His breath catches in his throat and he blinks several times as he imagines an entirely different scenario with this whipped cream can and her mouth. Y/N brings the whipped cream away from her mouth and swallows, watching Harry do the same thing - did she make him feel uncomfortable? She thinks to herself as she licks her lips and looks down at the ground. Don’t overthink it, don’t overthink it, she thinks while walking back to the fridge to return the whipped cream to the shelf. When she turns back, she sees that Harry has both mugs in his hands. 

“Maybe I should just have both of these, since you’re probably full from that mouth full of whipped cream,” Harry teases her, bringing both mugs to his lips, acting as if he’s going to slurp up the whipped topping that’s nearly flowing over the side.

“Absolutely not,” Y/N gasps, reaching forward quickly for the Grinch mug, but Harry moves it out of her grasp faster. 

“I want the Grinch one,” he says with a slight whine to his voice. Y/N can’t stop the giggle this time, blushing afterwards as she thinks of how freaking adorable he is. 

“Fine,” she sighs and takes the Santa mug from him instead.  

Harry grins and lets her lead the way back into her living room, the bag of pretzels in his other hand. Y/N sets her mug down on the coaster on the coffee table, just like she had with her glass of wine the last time Harry was over. He watches as she sits cross legged on the floor in front of her tv stand. Y/N grabs the two movies she was debating over earlier in each hand and lifts them up for Harry to see. He loves them both of course. 

“Which one? I can’t decide,” Y/N states. Harry hums and lifts his mug to his lip to slurp up some whipped cream. 

“Elf,” Harry answers, “I’m in a Will Ferrel comedy kind of mood,” he adds. 

“Alright,” Y/N chuckles under her breath and turns away from Harry to open her DVD player and then open the case for Elf. He liked that she had the movies on physical DVD, not just clicking away on a streaming app. She places the DVD in the player and then closes it again before standing up quickly and skipping over to the couch, plopping down excitedly but gently that Harry isn’t even scared that he’ll spill his hot chocolate. 

“We can watch the other one next time,” Harry suggests, feeling brave in the moment as the trailers start to play softly on the screen and Y/N is reaching for the remote that sat on the coffee table. She looks at him and smiles.

“‘kay, yeah, next time,” she pauses but then points the remote at Harry. “But next time you’re hosting, I feel like we should switch it up sometimes,” she adds and waits to see Harry nod with a smile before she turns to the TV and gets to the main menu of the movie.

“Fair, I just think my place lacks the holiday cheer that we would want,” Harry explains. Y/N stops her from hitting play right away and leans back into the couch, flopping her head to the side to look at Harry. He’s still holding his mug, which reminds her that her own is sitting there untouched, so she sits up again and grabs it.

“Well you know what would fix that?” She questions, bringing the mug to her lips and slurping up some of the whipped cream that was in fact already melting. Harry watches her as her eyes are glued to her mug, focused on not spilling it over the sides it seems. 

“Decorations?” He asks, still watching her. He smiles as she licks her upper lip that’s covered in melting whipped cream.

“Exactly,” she nods enthusiastically. She takes another few sips of her hot chocolate before leaning back into her couch once again, getting all snuggled up before lifting the remote to the TV and hitting play.

“I’m not really good with decorating - my sister and mom did my apartment to be honest,” Harry admits. Y/N watches the opening scene of one of her favourite Christmas movies, feeling all giddy inside as it’s the first time she’s watching it this holiday season. She gets like this every year with every holiday movie.

“Well, I can help you out. Maybe we can do a little trip to Target before our next movie night. Then do a quick set up and then watch the movie after,” Y/N suggests, nervously peering over at Harry over the rim of her mug after. She doesn’t know if she’s crossing a line or anything. She just wants to spend more time with him, even if it’s just as friends. 

Harry gives Y/N a half smile, one of his dimples making an appearance as he looks into her eyes. He would love that, honestly. The idea of them wandering through the Christmas isles at Target as she gives him advice on what decorations would go together and fit his apartment style; they would set up the decorations after and he’d watch her be in her element. Maybe he’d put on some Christmas music and hope she would dance around. Harry gives Y/N a short nod. 

“I like that plan,” Harry tells her. 

Y/N smiles and nods back at him. “Then it’s a deal, we’ll set a time after the movie. It’s about to get good,” she says, looking back at the TV screen again as Will Ferrel’s character makes his appearance. 

“The whole movie is good,” Harry states. 

“Shh,” Y/N hushes him, taking another sip of her drink and keeping her eyes on the movie. Harry smiles and watches her watch Elf. He notices her hand gently tapping the cushion between them after a moment. Harry chuckles under his breath and nudges the bag of pretzels open, taking a few for himself before facing the bag her way. Once she’s got one between her teeth she feels completely content. 

She’s got a cup of yummy hot chocolate, her favourite snack, Christmas lights are twinkling around her, one of her favourite Christmas movies is playing, and she’s with good company too. In fact, she finds herself not once thinking of Mark the rest of the night. Even in her dreams, it’s Harry, again. 

They exchanged phone numbers. It’s not a big deal, Harry thinks to himself as he gets a third text from his newest contact in his phone. But it felt like a big deal; it was an easy way to get a hold of her whenever he needed to or wanted to even. Not that he would just bother her for no good reason. As much as he’d like to text with her all day, he knows that they really just exchanged phone numbers in order to plan to hangout easily. Like for today, Y/N had a long work day, but still wanted to take Harry Christmas decor shopping, so she was asking him if he could just meet her at the closest Target. 

There’s one a few blocks away from the apartment, I’ll send you the location, are you able to meet me there? She texts along with a Google Maps link to the store. Harry tapped out a response right away, letting his focus sway away from the TV show he had on when her name lit up his screen. 

Sounds good to me, what time? Harry hits send and notices the bubble with three dots pop up right away. She must have a moment at work right now; he checks the time to see it’s just past noon, assuming she’s on her lunch break. 

I should be leaving the office by 3pm today, then it’s like a 15 minutes subway ride and 5 minute walk to get there for me. So like 3:30ish, is that okay with you? Wait. Are you busy today? I didn’t even ask if you were working too, sorry. She sends the texts in a few separate bubbles, realizing that she didn’t even ask if Harry was working or not today. Y/N has no idea what the schedule of a songwriter was like. Harry chuckles at her little panic and types out his response. 

Super busy…. Watching mindless TV shows on Netflix. He adds a laughing emoji for good measure, to which Y/N replies with some of her own laughing emojis before saying God I wish that was how my day was going. 

Y/N ends up texting Harry her whole lunch break. He asks about what she’s been doing today, his responses seeming very interested in the adventures she has had in the office being a stand in model since her measurements were close to a clients. She then asks what show he’s watching, to which he tells her about this Netflix baking show called Sugar Rush and he tells her about the challenge the contestants on the most recent episode endured. Y/N finds herself smiling at her screen, nearly forgetting to even eat her lunch. Sammy clears his throat just a few minutes before their time is up and causes her to look up at him, raising her eyebrows at his own. 

“What?” She asks, stabbing her fork into the salad she had Sammy pick up for her earlier. 

“Nothing,” Sammy hums, Y/N rolls her eyes. “Just noticed you’ve been quite busy on that phone of yours for the past, oh, I don’t know, twenty five minutes,” Sammy teases her, eyes widening slightly and motioning his hands in the air with his words. He did that a lot, talking with his hands, that is. 

“So?” Y/N tries to brush off her friend's pushy behaviour. 

“So? Really? We’re just going to act as if you’re not giggling at your phone screen like a little school girl?” Sammy questions. 

“I am not doing that,” Y/N huffs. 

“Yeah, sure, sweetie and I’m straight,” Sammy rolls his eyes dramatically and then pouts while shaking his body in his seat. Y/N furrows her brows at his behaviour. “I live off your love life. Please give me something, anything. Please just tell me that you’re talking to that hot neighbour of yours and let me continue on my merry little day knowing that your love life is about to be thriving while mine is dead.” 

Y/N sighs and tries to ignore as her phone vibrates again, signalling that Harry had texted her back. She sits back in her chair and crosses her arms over his chest, covering the deep v-cut of her black body suit that she was wearing with a pair of red slim legged slacks, and a matching red blazer that was currently laying over the back of the chair she sat in. Amanda didn’t have any sort of dress code for work, merely to come in looking professional and stylish, which for Y/N, meant a good pant suit moment every once in a while. But with still keeping it sexy and young by pairing it with a bodysuit. 

“Fine, I’m texting Harry,” Y/N tells Sammy, feeding into his gossip need for the day. “We actually hung out two night ago, he came over for a movie night-”

“What?! Why am I just hearing about this now?” Sammy questions, sitting up quickly and throwing his hands in the air. “What happened? Touching? Did you kiss? Oh my lord, tell me what his peni-”

“Sammy! Oh my god, relax, please,” Y/N cuts him off, putting a hand up to stop him from talking. “Nothing happened. Sorry to disappoint, but I am still in a relationship with Mark. Harry just came over, we made some hot chocolate and polished off a bag of those delicious candy cane pretzels.”

“Those pretzels are good,” Sammy nods in agreement.

“Yeah,” Y/N nods, “but anyways, nothing happened, and nothing is going to happen. We’re just friends, and I enjoy being around him a lot. So, today after work we’re going to Target to buy his apartment some decorations, then we’ll probably order in some food and watch another movie.” 

“Sounds pretty couple-y to me,” Sammy says in a high pitched tone. Y/N just shakes her head and rolls her eyes at her friend again. 

Y/N couldn’t lie, though. The few hours later in Target, they looked like a couple. Harry pushes the cart down the aisle while she tilts her head and debates which tinsel really fit Harry’s aesthetic. She brings the Starbucks cup to her lips and sips the warm caramel flavoured latte. Y/N was pleasantly surprised when she saw Harry walking up to her outside the Target with two Starbucks holiday cups in his hand. He gave her a timid smile and explained what both of the drinks were, saying he hadn’t tasted either and wanted to see what she wanted first before taking the other for himself. It was unexpected and ridiculously sweet of him to do. 

“I think red would look really nice around your apartment, kind of spice up the place a little,” Y/N explains, her free hand skimming over the many different tinsels that were hanging up before her. Harry agrees, red would look nice in his apartment and spice things up a lot, except his mind is thinking of this red pant suit she’s wearing right now. He thinks it would look rather nice on his bedroom floor.

When she walked up to him and he took in her outfit, he nearly tripped over his own feet and spilled the two coffees he brought with him. But he kept himself together, well, sort of. He stumbled over his words, rambled like a fool about why he got the two coffees for her, but they finally got into the store, which now, he’s just been checking her out as they walked to the Christmas section. Get it together, Harry thinks to himself. 

“Red’s nice,” Harry says, his voice cracking slightly. So, he clears his throat and steps away from the cart to pick up a piece of tinsel that Y/N was looking at. “I like the bit of silver mixed in too,” he comments. 

“I was thinking the same thing,” she says with a smile before grabbing four more of the same one and adding it to the cart. Harry does the same with the one in his hand and then puts his hands on the cart once more, pushing it back and forth just a few inches. Harry can’t stop himself from admiring that suit once more as she bends down to check out the many different boxes of tree ornaments. 

“Which ones?” Y/N asks, quickly turning her body. Y/N catches his gaze on her body, but Harry blinks quickly and meets her stare. The corner of her lips tug up into a smug smile at the thought of Harry checking her out. 

“The ones in your, uh, your right hand,” Harry answers her questions, clearing his throat again and watching as she stands straight before putting the ornaments into the cart. 

They continue their way through Target, still looking very much like a couple as they grab a few bags of the candy cane pretzels that Y/N got Harry hooked on the other night before heading to the check out. Harry insists on paying for the few little items of Y/N’s in the cart, telling her over and over again that it wasn’t a huge deal. He almost doesn’t let her carry a single thing, but she quickly gets a hold of a standing Santa decoration that was too big for a bag and hugs it to her chest their whole walk home. 

Harry unlocks his apartment door for them, noticing how their neighbour Mr Matthers is opening his at the same time to peer out and see who’s in the hallway. Harry holds open the door for Y/N, she thanks him in a small voice and smiles at him. Looking back out into the hallway, Harry waves at Mr Matthers, who simply returns it with a scowl on his face before Harry steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Suppose their neighbour is a bit jealous of Harry, he’s seen the way he looks at Y/N. Hell, especially today in that suit, everyone on the street was looking at Y/N with wide eyes and big smiles - Harry felt like quite the lucky guy, little did everyone know they were in fact not together. Just friends, Harry reminds himself for the millionth time. 

“Oh, I love the tree,” Y/N states, her voice bringing Harry back to Earth as he locks the door and walks over to his coffee table to set down the many bags in his arms. Y/N is still holding the Santa decoration to her chest, looking at the fake Christmas tree he had purchased on Amazon yesterday on a whim. He was thinking about them decorating together again, and thought that it wouldn’t feel right if he didn't have a tree too. It’s a good thing he told Y/N over text, otherwise they wouldn’t have gotten ornaments or anything for it. 

“Yeah, I just got the first one that included lights on Amazon, to be honest,” Harry tells her. Y/N chuckles and walks over, setting the Santa decoration just beside the tree gently. 

She brushes a hand over the tree and smiles, “it’s wonderful, really pulls the whole festive look together in my opinion.”

“I agree,” Harry nods. He grabs for the TV remote and turns it on, quickly turning the volume down before he sets it up to the music channels - clicking on the Christmas tunes without a second thought. Y/N watches Harry, her heart hammering in her chest as the soft sounds of Michael Buble fills the room. Mark would never do any of this - he wouldn’t voluntarily put on Christmas music, ever. In fact, he shut off the station in her car on the way to the airport. And he definitely wouldn’t decorate with her either, seeing as he thinks that her apartment looks childish. She pouts at the thought of her and Mark’s phone call the other day. He hasn’t called or texted her since.

“Did you not want to listen to Christmas music?” Harry asks suddenly, snapping Y/N out of her thoughts and turns to look at him. He’s taking off his jacket, revealing a white shirt underneath with a bumble bee and some blue writing around it, paired with his purple trousers and a pair of white socks on his feet after slipping out of his shoes too. Y/N loves his simple yet not basic style.

“No, no,” Y/N assures him, finally unbuttoning her blazer now and taking off the mittens and beanie she had worn in the cold. She stuffs them into the blazer pocket and slips out of it. “I love Christmas music so much, honestly maybe a little too much, Mark hates it,” she admits. 

A shiver falls over her body as she realizes then she’s simply in the rather thin bodysuit that also dipped very low in the front. Y/N doesn’t look at Harry as she feels her nipples harder from the coolness of his apartment, embarrassed as she didn’t prepare for her attire after going out. Harry suddenly lifts up a hand, his pointer finger up as if to say ‘one second’, then he’s walking down the hallways and returns not even a minute later with a black sweater in hand. 

“It’s clean, just washed today, I promise,” Harry tells her, holding out one of his favourite jumpers for her. He had been given a few merchandising pieces from the label over the years and this plain black jumper that read ‘Columbia’ on the front in white has been in his possession for a couple years now. In his opinion, it was very comfortable due to how much he’s worn it.

“Thank you,” Y/N says softly while taking it from him. 

She puts it on and is immediately warmer. Her hands cover completely because of how long the sleeves are and it falls down past her bum too, due to the large size. She looks good, Harry thinks as he takes in her wearing his clothing. Y/N smiles and turns to grab things from the Target bags they had just brought in. 

“Okay, let’s begin with the tree then,” she says excitedly, trying to clap her hands together but just ends up smacking the sleeves of Harry’s hoodie together.

It’s just as Harry imagined it. The soft lights from the Christmas tree glow over the shadows of Y/N’s face as she wraps the red tinsel around the base of it before passing it to Harry in order for him to reach the taller portion of the tree. She dances when Jingle Bell Rock plays on the TV, his jumper swaying around her body because of how big it is on her. They’re both smiling and singing along to the music, jokingly of course. Harry wasn’t about to show her all his little secrets and start belting out White Christmas along with the singers of Wham!

“Can you pass me a couple of the silver balls?” Y/N asks Harry, her eyes on the tree as she put the last red ball ornament she had grabbed onto a branch. Harry raises his eyebrows in a joking manner. 

“The what?” He questions, but still making his way to where the array of different coloured ball ornaments laid on the couch. 

“Like two of the balls,” she says again. Harry laughs, his eyes crinkling up and his dimples fully showing as he does. Y/N furrows her brows, but then gets why he’s laughing. “You’re a child,” she scolds him playfully. 

“I couldn’t help myself,” Harry states, grabbing two of the ornaments she’s asking for and passing them to her. 

“Thank you for the balls, Harry,” she says. They both end up laughing this time, she can’t help it. His laughter is contagious with how his eyes squint up and his dimple somehow deepens, not to mention the little vocal ‘aha’ he does before laughing. It makes Y/N’s stomach ache, not from laughing too, but with the butterflies. Those stupid little butterflies that have made a home inside of her stomach since meeting this kind, handsome, British man. 

Once the tree is done, Y/N beats Harry to ordering them food. They decide on getting sushi, which is something she could never order with Mark since he has this personal vendetta against seafood for some reason. But Mark isn’t on her mind for long. It’s all Harry, all the freaking time. She likes how he beams a winning smile at the delivery guy and thanks him three times in the sixty seconds he’s at his door, and how he barely pays his phone any attention the whole night besides when it chimes with a few texts that he explains is his workmates group chat. Now, she can’t stop watching him chew his food; how his jaw flexes with each bite and how his eyebrows furrow when he can’t get the chopsticks to grab the California roll he wanted. Why do I find him eating so attractive? Y/N shakes her head slightly and forces herself to look back at the TV that’s playing the Sugar Rush show on Netflix that Harry was texting her about earlier. 

Harry collects their take out containers after a few moments to ensure that Y/N is done, asking her just to be sure she doesn’t want the two pieces that are left over. She thanks him, but says no, and he manages to grab all five containers in one trip to the kitchen. His mom most definitely raised him well, Y/N thinks as she lays back on his couch and watches the TV show. It suddenly hits Y/N, his brows pulling together as she pushes herself to sit up and turns her body to look behind her through the open concept to look at Harry. 

“Are you going home for Christmas?” She asks him. Y/N assumed home was England, besides obvious factors, but she remembers him telling her about driving in London once. Harry brushes his hands on a tea towel that's hanging off his stove before turning to walk back into the living room. 

“Um, no, not this year,” Harry says. 

“Oh, do you typically go home and visit your family? You mentioned your mom and sister had decorated this place though, do they live here?” She throws the other questions his way as he walks around the couch and sits in his spot again. 

“They all live in England, yeah,” he nods, “my mom, my step dad, older sister and her boyfriend all flew out here with me to help me settle in the few years back when I got my job. But I do usually go home for holidays, or just casually during the summer. Earlier this year I had to make an unexpected trip,” Harry pauses and clears his throat as he looks away from Y/N as he feels that familiar pain in his chest, “my step dad passed away. So it just took a bit of money out of my account, I decided not to fork out the money for expensive flights during the holidays.”

Hearing that Harry had lost his step dad recently torn Y/N’s heart in two. She frowns, taking a deep breath before reaching over and placing a hand over Harry’s that rested folded in his lap. Harry looks at where their skin touched, it felt like his hands were vibrating under her touch. She swipes her thumb over his knuckles, the touch so soft like a feather just barely skimming over his skin. Harry has to stop himself from flipping his hand over slowly and intertwining their fingers together. She has a boyfriend, she’s just being a good person and comforting a friend. 

“I’m very sorry to hear about your step dad, Harry,” she soft and gentle voice, rubbing the pad of her thumb over his knuckle again as she watches him inhale deeply through his nose. 

Harry clears his throat of the threatening tears and shakes his head slightly, a piece of his hair falling onto his forehead as he does. He takes one of his hands and lays it over Y/N’s, giving it a few pats. Tonight had been good

and fun, and he didn’t want to go ruining the mood with his tears. So, he lifts his head and looks at Y/N, finding her somber eyes staring at him already. He forces a smile, licking his lips before clearing his throat again. 

“Thank you,” he says, “I don’t want to make this good night all emotional now, so yeah, the short answer is I’m not leaving the city for the holidays this year. I do have a trip planned in March to see my mum for mothers day though,” Harry explains, rubbing Y/N’s hand that’s between his. 

Y/N mirrors his smile, although it’s not as full as usual, a bit sad still as she thinks about what Harry and his family must’ve gone through this year - and that his mother won’t see her son her first Christmas without her husband to top it all off. Maybe she could buy his flights? But no, no she couldn’t, she thinks sadly. They sit there like that for another moment, her hand between his much larger once, and they stare at each other. Finally, Y/N lets out a sigh and tries to get out of her head before she ends up crying. Harry lets go of her hand slowly, and she brings both hands to her face to brush back her hair. Harry does the same to get the strand of hair that had fallen on his forehead back into place. 

“Well I’m glad you can go see your mom for mothers day, at least,” Y/N says, looking at the positive. Harry nods and then leans back, throwing an arm over the back of the couch to stretch out.

“Yeah, me too,” he agrees, “she’s already telling me all about the plans she’s made for my trip and talks my ear right off as if it’s happening tomorrow.” Harry tells Y/N with a chuckle.

Hearing his little laugh brings a real smile to her face this time. “I’m sure she’s counting the days till you fly in,” Y/N says. She is starting to feel a little tired as she lays back on the couch, laying her legs out on the chaise. Harry watches as she pulls the sleeves of his jumper back down, she had rolled them up while eating so they didn’t get in the way, but he likes the sweater paw look on her as she snuggles into the couch. 

“Do you spend Christmas at home still?” Harry asks her, keeping his voice soft as he realizes it’s gotten late and both their eyelids are getting heavy. 

“My parents have something on Christmas Eve, sometimes I spend the night, other times I make my way home,” she exclaims vaguely. 

Y/N doesn’t love her times at home anymore; she finds her parents ‘I’m too rich for anything' attitude to be tiresome. As she grew up into her own person, she realized the privilege she had with the wealth she grew up with. She started to see how pointless some parties her mother threw, and how little she would have to try to just coast through life. Y/N didn’t want to grow up like every other bratty kid on the Upper East Side, so she moved out right after graduation, got into fashion school, focused on herself, and earned her own money - all while learning of how to use her privilege for good, like donating her time and money to good causes. Something her parents only did to look good within their social circle. 

So, going back home for over the top holiday parties, getting gifted a new car every year, and seeing her parents throw their money at whatever, really only bothered her more than anything. Y/N would simply stop in for Christmas Eve, enjoy a few hours with family and then go home to her own world again. 

A yawn slips past Y/N’s mouth as she’s deep in thought, which then makes Harry yawn as the both of them bring their hands to cover their mouth and then letting out soft laughter afterwards. Y/N sits up and stretches both arms above her head. “I guess I should head home,” she says before standing up slowly. 

“Yeah, you’ve got a long way to go,” Harry jokes. 

“Oh yeah, it’ll take me ages,” Y/N adds onto the joke with a smile. “Thank you for having me over, I really enjoyed it,” she says. 

Harry nods, “well thank you for helping me with all this,” he says, motioning to the decorating they had done. They both glance around the room then at their work. The red and silver decor matched Harry’s aesthetic perfectly, just as Y/N thought it would. 

“We didn’t watch Polar Express,” Y/N realizes suddenly, pouting. 

“Next time, Y/N,” Harry chuckles. She huffs and lets out a sigh, muttering a quiet ‘fine’ before making her way towards his front door. Harry follows behind her, planning to lock the door and listen till she gets into her own apartment before getting ready for bed. 

“Should I text you when I’m home safe? It’s just so far away,” Y/N continues to joke around, causing Harry to smile as he watches her grab her blazer and slip into her shoes. 

“You never know, Mr Matthers across the hall could intercept you on the way home and kidnap you. I wouldn’t sleep till I got that text knowing you got home safely,” Harry says, half joking. Cause you never know with Mr Matthers, he thinks. Y/N laughs and hugs her blazer to her stomach while standing beside the door, reaching for the handle but keeping her gaze on him.

“Mr Matthers is harmless,” Y/N says. 

“He’s obsessed with you,” Harry counters back. Y/N just rolls her eyes and unlocks the door before swinging it open. 

“Goodnight Harry,” she says sweetly. 

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Harry says back with a smile. She mirrors his smile and then walks off into the hallway. Harry watches the door shut behind her and walks over to lock it before turning off the few lights in the living room and entryway. As he is turning off his TV his phone buzzes with an incoming text. 

Made it home safely and in bed! Sweet dreams read Y/N’s text sent seconds ago. Harry breathes out a chuckle as he walks down the hallway to his bathroom to begin his nightly routine. As he turns on the light for his bathroom he types back a response. Cheeky.. Sweet dreams Y/N. He turns off the screen before he stands there and waits for her to reply with anything, his heart would even flutter over an emoji.

He was so far gone for this girl, he couldn’t stop himself from falling any longer - but it had felt inevitable from the moment his eyes had met hers in the elevator.  

>> part three <<

thanks for reading, please reblog/leave some feedback if you enjoyed it! until next week 😘

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[sinkix]

~ Haikyuu!! Boys baking with reader - Ft. Ushijima, Tendou, Oikawa, Hinata & Nishinoya ~

YO! SO UHHHH... I’M BACK??? I GUESS?? MAYBE??? After a little break I had this in my drafts for a while and realllyyy wanted to complete it since it’s such a cute concept. Honestly at this point my posting frequencies are so sporadic and random pls forgive me lmao.

@deathcab4daddy​ gave me the inspo to include Ushi and it was so funny coming up with ideas for him, he is no.1 country boi chef 

Dude I’m listening to the Mario Kart soundtrack ‘Coconut Mall’ while I continue writing this someone save me. Like u think I’m joking. UR WRONG.

Ushijima:

The most straightforward yet idiotic baker you will ever come across.

Before you even THINK about performing step 1, he will read the entire fucking leaflet like it’s a Shakesperean monologue.

INGREDIENTS INCLUDED.

LIKE SIS I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW IT CONTAINS  MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE THANK YOU.

I’m surprised he doesn’t count every single particle in the brownie mix.

You bought him a frilly cupcake-printed apron stating ‘best wife’ not expecting him to actually wear it

But since he’s secretly a big softie and treasures anything you buy he wears it proudly.

His stoic and dignified disposition is a comical contrast to the words printed on the front lmao.

Ushi best wifey bro.

The tight fit of the apron is pretty hot since it outlines every ridge of his pecs and tightly toned torso.

Gotta resist groping your mans while stirring the brownie batter.

tbh he’s more likely to grope you, he can’t resist that a$$.

And let’s face it he’s def an ass/thigh kinda guy.

Can and will try to casually initiate some form of unholy activities by lifting you up onto the kitchen counter, goading you to slowly lick the spoon and locking gazes before pulling you in for a deep, open-mouthed kiss to get a taste of the incomplete creation himself.

Ushi’s lips and brownie batter are a knock-out combo js.

Literally has the most serious face when he’s cracking the eggs into the bowl

The amount of concentration is equivalent to that of when he’s performing a serve at match-point.

HAS to set the temperature to the EXACT degree stated on the box

Everything is done by the book if you do one thing out of place he will pull you up on it lol.

“(Y/N) you were supposed to stir it for 5 minutes, not 7.”

When its done you feed him some and he can’t help but smile its so ADORBALE AHHH.

You end up eating most of it since Ushi doesn’t strike me as much of a chocolate/junk food lover.

STILL A VERY FUN BUT F R U S T R A T I N G EXPERIENCE.

Tendou:

The complete opposite of Ushi

Does everything wrong and the unconventional way.

Absolute disaster but doesn’t even sweat it since Tendou basically thrives in chaos and the disorderly.

To him instructions are purely equivocal, will read them for five seconds then toss them away.

Step aside Gordon Ramsey, Chef Tendou is here.

Despite doing everything the unorthodox way it still comes out amazing.

Like??? how???

Will cheekily place a dollop batter on your nose then lick it off fh3jkeffefds

Or if he’s feelin’ a lil freaky, he’ll swipe it off with his long ass finger and make you suck it clean, smirking at your submission as you coat his finger with your saliva.

oop-

Constantly cracking jokes and shitty food puns, pretending to drop the bowl to make you go into preemptive cardiac arrest before you can swat him with the spatula.

While you’re waiting for the timer to ping, Satori being the schemer he is will use this as an opportunity to pull some fuckery and tease you in any way he can.

u better be praying like bodhisattva TanaNoya rn because he is MERCILESS.

Suggestive comments, the brush of his fingers against your thigh, it’ll leave you A C H I N G in frustration by the end of it.

Unholy activities aside, once your baking session is completed you finish it off by feeding PHAT forkfuls of brownie to each other and giggling like dorks when it gets all over your mouth.

The jackass actually got a fingerful and SMEARED it over your cheek and forehead, drawing a little cross and snickering when the crumbs fall onto your nose.

Tendou was smart to draw a cross bc he gonna need jesus with the ATTACK you launch on him after that, which promptly leads to an all out food war in your kitchen that neither of you want to clean up after ward.

Don’t worry though it’s Tendou, he’ll somehow find a way to make such a mundane activity fun.

Nishinoya:

stirs WAY TOO VIOLENTLY

IT’S LIKE AN ELECTRIC WHISK ON OVERDRIVE.

IT WILL SPLATTER OVER THE COUNTER, CUPBOARDS AND EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR WITHIN A 1 MILE RADIUS.

You best believe he will try and eat some of the batter and you have to swat the spoon away from his mouth since he has NO REGARD FOR THE FACT HE COULD GET SALMONELLA.

Plus you know what Noya’s like once he starts eating something the whole thing will be gone in a matter of milliseconds.

He somehow managed to get Baking powder EVERYWHERE and even gave him self a little moustache with it.

The white substance kinda looked like something else but you didn’t really wanna say lmaooo.

could explain why he has so much energy all the time oK ILL STOP-

While you’re putting the mix on the tray he is SO extra and will do fancy lil swirls and over extend his arm like a swan to gracefully spread the batter

until he nearly fucking knocks it over.

During processing time since he is so excitable and impatient you best believe he’s gonna suggest a game of ping pong or something because my guy can well and truly never sit still.

ping pong match with the spatulas, kitchen island and a hard boiled egg.

Pls be careful he will rolling thunder that egg and pimp slap it so hard with the spatula it’ll damn near give you a concussion, not intentionally, but like protect your noggin. Wear a helmet.

For the remaining 5 minutes of baking time y’all just sit like kids in front of the oven and watching it rise like starved hyena’s observing it’s pray before demolishing it into sad particles of cocoa.

And lemme tell u, once the timer pings, that baking tray is free real estate for Noya. Half of your creation will be devoured before you can even put it on a plate and marvel at your handiwork. 

He kicked your ass at spatula ping pong btw I’m sorry sweaty but short kings stay winning.

Oikawa:

Such a dramatic bitch like he got the whole she-bang going on.

Strapped with a pink apron, a whisk at his side and standing proudly with both hands on his hips.He is prepared like a greek gladiator going into battle.

You better believe he gonna make some snarky remarks and tease your method of doing things. 

“Ah-ah-ahhh (Y/N)-chan you’re doing it all wrong, let me show you how a PRO does it.”

Proceeds to drop entire bowl on his foot and yelp like a little girl in pain.

Well and truly embarrassed with himself, you put a band-aid on his toe and he piped down after that.

Shattered big toe and mixing bowl aside, actually a really good baker??

He is a PRO at decorating, y’all decided on cupcakes since its literally his forte to make them look aesthetic and pretty.

You almost don’t wanna eat them from how good they look.

jk almost

You take it in turns breaking bits off and placing pieces into each others mouth with a loud “aaaaaahhh!”

Places a piece in your mouth, leans forward and locks lips with you in a soft, passionate kiss before pulling away and uttering the words “It tastes even better coming from your mouth ;)”

hnnnNNGGGGGGggGg.

You both whine and bicker over who cleans up after.

“You cleaaannnnn!”

“no Toru YOU clean!”

“but I made the cupcakes look pretty :(”

“not as pretty as you <3″

He did the cleaning after that.

Like just stroke his ego with some compliments and he’s whipped with a smug grin on his face for the next 30 minutes.

You decide to save the rest and bring them to his next practise.

Literally on the verge of tears when he sees you beaming and holding the platter of treats, Kiyotani mauls half of them in a matter of seconds to which Oiks gets salty over LMAO.

Hinata:

So excited oh my god he’s so precious please protect him I will CRY-

Has a little sunflower apron on and JBJKNDDDKDW IM SMILING JUST IMAGINING HIM FIDGETING IN EXCITEMENT OVER THE THOUGHT OF BAKING COOKIES.

Yes you decided on cookies bc he goes rabid for some choc chip biccies.

You have to guide him v carefully because of how easily confused and clumsy he is.

Cannot for the life of him crack the eggs without getting a quarter of the shell in the bowl so you have to do it instead.

Has a surprising amount of strength and forearm power bc holy shit boy can stir FAST.

Hums a little tune while he does it and bobs up and down with a wide grin on his face it’s so adorable, he has such a gentle singing voice I can’t-

Attempts different shapes with the batter when pouring it onto the tray but fails pretty miserably lol.

he tried ok???

Once they’re done he takes the tray out of the oven and since it was heavy, subconsciously propped it with his knee and nearly dropped the entire tray from the pain. (I’ve actually done this before when making chicken nuggets I do not advise being that brain dead)

Had to put some burn cream on the bbies knee :’((

When you decided to dig in, he handed you a cookie that looked like a crooked circle and said he tried to make that one a heart and insisted he feed it to you.

Blushed VERY hard at the moment of silence and intense eye contact while he fed it to you.

Nearly short circuited when his fingers brushed against your lips.

Moe moe x100000000000000000000000000000

You offer to do the cleaning after because he hurt himself and you didn’t wanna make him do any work, but he still offered to wipe the surfaces for you bc he’s an angel <333

literally just wanna marry him.

[alolowrites]

The Helpful Elf

Summary: The Hippity Hop Cat toy is the toy on every kid’s wish list this year, including Eri’s. With the toy flying off the shelves, you desperately ask Mirio, the Helper Elf at Hazuki’s ToyLand, for help. And Mirio doesn’t give up, especially when it comes to you.

Author’s Note: Hello everyone!!! Real life is being a pain right now, but I’m so glad I managed to finish this story right on time! It’s pretty long (for me lol) and it’s my first with Mirio so yay!! I also wrote it for the BNHASanctuary discord server’s winter collab (first time I ever participated in any collab), so I’m very excited about this. I’ll link and share the masterlist once it’s up. I can’t wait to read everyone else’s stories :D 

Please enjoy!

Word Count: 2.5K+

With October long gone and December in full swing, it meant one thing—the official start of the jubilant holiday season. Every year, Japan’s most iconic department store in Tokyo, Hazuki’s, transformed its ten floors into a magical winter wonderland. Around the country and around the globe, customers ushered through the doors to catch a glimpse of the glamorous store glittering with festive decor. 

Dazzling lights twinkled around the window displays that stretched around the block. Vibrant ornaments hung high above the ceilings like luxurious bubbles. And pine garlands peppered with red berries wrapped themselves along any rails that ran off forever. 

Hazuki’s was the place to kick start the holiday season and the one place to find everything and anything on one’s holiday shopping list. Especially the highly coveted toy of the year—the Hippity Hop Cat. 

Or so you thought. 

“Mirio!” 

“Huh?” Said man’s elf hat jingled when he looked away from his display. His blue eyes beamed at the sight of you. Mirio chirped out your name as you rushed forward, nearly knocking him over. “Whoa, you alright?” 

“I need your help,” you blurted out, catching your breath at the same time; those pesky escalators were no use at all. Mirio offered to get water, but you waved him off. “No, no…no time for water. I need your help. It’s urgent!” 

“Uh, sure, what can I do?” 

“I need a toy, but not just any toy.” Mirio blinked when you suddenly inched closer to him. You scanned the area as though someone was lurking around to eavesdrop on your top-secret conversation. “It’s the Hippity Hop Cat, you know—” 

“The cat whose hops are out of this world?” 

“Yes, that one!” You clung to his shoulders like a desperate parent trying to find some shred of sanity in this chaotic store. Shaking the blonde man, you begged, “Please tell me you have one in stock?”

“Oh man,” Mirio scratched his forehead as he recalled the inventory from this morning. He glanced at your hopeless eyes and tight fists curling on his work uniform. There was no way Mirio could leave you hanging like this; it didn’t feel right. So he flashed you his famous smile that outshone the star twirling above you both. “Come with me. I’ll check in our system.”

“Gosh, you’re a lifesaver.” 

Mirio humbly rubbed his neck as he led the way to the backroom. You eyed the uproarious floor covered with thousands of toys that rivaled Santa’s Workshop in the North Pole. It was like walking through a child’s dream. Every toy imaginable—dolls, electric cars, robots, board games, you name it—was here. Hopefully, that stayed true with the Hippity Hop Cat. 

The door closed, muffling the sounds of frantic parents buzzing through the aisle. Mirio typed away on the keyboard as you paced behind him. You cursed yourself for procrastinating this long to buy the prized toy. Christmas was in less than two weeks!

“So who’s the gift for?” 

“Oh!” His deep voice pulled you back to the present. You walked forward with folded arms, anxiously hugging yourself. “It’s for Eri, a sweet little girl my next-door neighbor, Shouta, adopted earlier this year. She had a rough upbringing, but fortunately, she’s living with someone who cares for her deeply.” 

“I’m glad to hear that.” 

“Yeah,” you smiled softly at Mirio, making his fingers freeze above the keyboard. That smile of yours took his breath away; he nodded but secretly tried controlling his heart that beat like a bass drum. It was difficult since you were so close to him. “This will be Eri’s first Christmas, and she wants the Hippity Hop Cat; I told Shouta I would buy it for her, helping ease some pressure off his shoulders.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you.” Mirio admired everything about you. He was absolutely smitten with you ever since you started working in the perfume department. Mirio sometimes strolled through the floor during his breaks just to catch a glimpse of you. After scrolling through the computer, the blonde man frowned. “Hmm…looks like we’re out of stock. And the next shipment won’t come until the twenty-first.” 

You groaned. “Man, that’s cutting it close; you think you can hold one for me? I can buy it during my break or after work.” 

“I’ll try my best.”

“Thanks, Mirio.” You squeezed his shoulder, and he shuddered at the touch. Glancing at your watch, you said, “I gotta go before Nemuri wonders where I am. But thanks for helping out!” 

“Sure!” He saw you slip out the door in a hurry; you throw an apologetic smile for good measure. Pushing the elf hat further up, Mirio chuckled, “No problem.”

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Okay, so maybe there was a slight problem.

Santa Claus was still around town, and Mirio was placed on “elf duty” to help out with the pictures. Don’t get him wrong, the sunshine man adored children as much as the jolly old man who lived in the North Pole. However, Mirio realized he couldn’t guard the Hippity Hop Cat for you. All he could do was pray that one miraculously stayed on the shelf until you bought it. 

A flash went off, snapping Mirio back to his job. He smiled brightly, guiding the kid off Santa’s lap and ushering the next one to the chair. Nearly every parent in Japan was here today, the line looping around the store. Other customers, not visiting Santa, shopped as well, making the place extra crowded today. Yet, none of them were you, and that worried Mirio. 

“Ho, ho, ho, it was nice meeting you, sweetie!” 

Oh right! Mirio needed to focus, but it was hard knowing you weren’t here yet. All Mirio wanted to do was make people happy, especially you. After the sweet story you shared with him, he was more determined than ever to get you that toy. His blue eyes glanced at the bearded man in the red coat—could he help? Who knows. 

As Mirio waved goodbye to each kid, you stumbled off the escalator, face flushed as though you ran fifty flights of stairs. You glanced around the packed floor, dodging an airplane that whizzed by and brushing against the sea of customers to find Mirio. The blonde elf locked eyes with you and flashed a relieved grin; the grueling wait was over. 

And so was his duty with Santa Claus, what luck! Mirio marched over to you, placing a gentle hand on your back and guiding you to the aisle. “I was worried you wouldn’t come.” 

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, narrowly avoiding getting hit by a robot’s arm. “The perfume department was swamped with tourists and other people. I practically had to beg Nemuri to let me slip away for a few minutes so I could buy—” Turning the corner, you gasped in disbelief at the empty shelves before choking out, “—the toy.”

Mirio blew a low whistle; people were snatching these toys off the shelves like no tomorrow. Still, he wouldn’t give up just yet. “C’mon, maybe there’s some left in stock.” 

“You sure?” 

“Can’t hurt to try, right?” Mirio flashed you a boyish smile, blue eyes brimming with determination. You nodded and followed him through the elaborate maze of this chaotic toy store. 

However, just as you both passed by the cash register, someone bellowed out: “That’s the last Hippity Hop Cat, sir. Thank you for shopping at Toyland; have a nice day!” 

No! You screeched to a halt. Your eyes watched as the man grabbed his bag and left the store with an exhausted but relieved face. Without thinking, you slammed against the counter, scaring the young green-haired employee who clutched his uniform. Leaning forward, you desperately half-whispered, “Please tell me what you said wasn’t true!” 

“I-I’m sorry?”

“The toy!” You frantically gestured to the exit, the man now long gone. “Please tell me you have another Hippity Hop Cat for sale!” 

“U-Um, I, uhh, well,” Midoriya stammered until his eyes spotted a familiar face behind you. The nervous man sighed in relief, knowing he was saved. “Mirio!”

“Hey, Izuku, sorry about that,” Mirio bashfully chuckled and clasped your shoulder to calm you down. The blonde man quickly introduced you to his co-worker, adding, “They’re trying to buy the Hippity Hop Cat, but are you sure that was the last one in stock?” 

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry.” 

“Oh…oh, okay…” Your shoulders drooped like a sad puppy; you were too late. After saying a quick apology, you numbly dragged your feet toward the exit as a gray cloud formed over your head. A warm hand stopped you from going any further, and you blinked up. “Huh, Mirio, what’s wrong?”

“You alright?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” you dismissed his concerns, but he wasn’t convinced; your eyes told a different story. Still, you mustered a brave face with a faint smile. “Listen, I appreciate everything you did. I knew it was a longshot getting the toy, so don’t sweat it, really.”  

“I know, I just,” he sucked in a breath, “I just wished I could have helped you out more. Especially since you wanted to make Eri happy.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get her something else.” You squeezed his bicep when Mirio opened his mouth to interject; he faltered slightly at the brief touch. “It’s fine, really. I’m sure Eri will love any toy for her gift; I promise.” 

Mirio nodded, watching you leave the store and disappearing within the crowd. You said everything was fine, but he knew that wasn’t true. That fake smile of yours spoke volumes. There has to be a way to get that toy, Mirio pondered, rubbing his chin and staring at the floor with furrowed eyes. 

Suddenly, an idea popped inside his head just as a jingle bell chimed behind him. A white smile stretched across Mirio’s face. The idea was crazy, maybe a longshot, too, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. Mirio whipped out his phone and searched through his contacts until he landed on a specific name. 

The line started ringing...and ringing...and ringing when—

“H-Hi, Mirio.”

“Hey, Tamaki!” The blonde man beamed like the sun. He lowered his voice, cupping the phone for secrecy while walking away. “Listen, buddy. I know you’re busy and all, but I got a huge favor to ask…” 

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

“…you think you can do it?” A small puff of breath floated out of your lips as you stepped away from the revolving doors. You stood beside a colorful window display of tiny elves grinning from ear to ear, their eager hands holding toys for the good boys and girls. One elf balanced himself at the tippy top of Santa’s mountainous red bag, his green gloves clutching the pointy hat for dear life. 

You smiled, appreciating the creative design before saying, “I can close the following week...yeah...okay, awesome, thanks again!”

Crisis one averted. Crisis two was up for debate, mainly because you held a shopping bag with Eri’s gift. It wasn’t the Hippity Hop Cat, but a nice small plushy cat toy instead. You bought it just a few minutes ago after wandering through the aisles at Toyland. The plushy cat toy wasn’t a bad second choice; it was adorable and incredibly soft to the touch. But it wasn’t the toy you wanted to give for Eri’s first Christmas. 

Oh, well, you sadly thought, biting the inside of your cheek. You stared at the elves again, realizing that their costumes matched Mirio’s work uniform in Toyland, down to the funny little hat. Mirio somehow pulled it off well thanks to his bubbly personality and warm heart that could melt the North Pole's snow. 

At one point, you wondered if Mirio was even there since you didn’t see him at the store today. You assumed he was doing inventory, but Midoriya said Mirio took the day off after a last-minute “personal obligation” came up, and it was too important to ignore. Must have been serious, you sighed as the shopping bag rustled against the wind. 

You braced your coat, hissing as the cold air sliced across your cheeks. Yup, it was time to go unless you wanted to freeze out here. Shuffling away from the window display, you stopped when someone screamed your name. Glancing over, you saw Mirio running toward you with one arm waving high in the air. 

“Hey!” Mirio finally caught up to you, his face flushed and nose redder than Rudolph’s, yet he kept on smiling. “So glad I found you!” 

“Whoa, you alright?” Now it was your turn to be concerned, just like he was when you rushed into the store to ask about the Hippity Hop Cat toy. Mirio nodded enthusiastically, squashing your worries away. “Midoriya said you were busy with a ‘personal obligation’ today. Is everything okay?” 

“Oh yeah, everything is great!”

“Well, that’s, um, great.”

“So, listen, about the Hippity Hop Cat toy—” 

“Mirio, I told you not to worry about it,” you butted in, shaking your shopping bag with the plushy cat. “I went ahead and bought something else for Eri and—”

“Ta-da!” 

You went radio silent, staring in disbelief at the surprise. Sitting in Mirio’s hands was the one and only Hippity Hop Cat toy. The number one toy that was on every kid’s wish list, yet rarer to get than Willy Wonka’s Golden ticket. That toy was now only a few inches away from you. 

“B-But how?!” The words finally fumbled through your lips, flickering your gaze between the toy and Mirio while stumbling forward a bit. “It’s sold out everywhere!” 

“Let’s just say I pulled some strings with Santa’s workshop,” Mirio cheekily grinned like one of the elves from the window display. You choked out a laugh, dropping the shopping bag so you could hold the boxed toy; it felt wonderful in your hands.

You looked up with eyes softer than freshly fallen snow. Mirio continued talking up a storm, his arms flailing wildly like an excited kid who discovered something new. The delicate holiday lights flickered around you both, casting a lovely glow that was as bright as the joy twinkling inside Mirio’s eyes. 

They were always so welcoming that, without thinking, you gave him a crushing hug. Mirio froze, his arms hanging mid-air as he slowly processed what was happening. After a few seconds, his shoulders relaxed, and his strong arms eagerly wrapped around you, holding you in place. Even with that thick coat of yours, you felt very soft that his heart soared to new heights. 

“Thank you, Mirio,” you whispered near his ear, giving him another squeeze. But you didn’t stop there. A sudden urge came over you, and in a bold move, you planted a sweet kiss on his cheek. Pulling away, you bit back a laugh at his flustered face. “You really are the best Helpful Elf I know.” 

“Well, you know me,” he shot you a grin, “I’m always here to help.” 

“Is that so?” You tapped your cheek with your gloved finger. “Think you can help me gift wrap this toy, say tonight at my place?” 

“Luckily for you, I’m a whiz with wrapping paper.” 

Mirio’s hand wormed its way into yours, giving you a loving squeeze before joining you on your long walk home. The Hippity Hop Cat toy was the toy on every kid’s wish list this year, including Eri’s, whose first Christmas was officially saved. And it was all thanks to Mirio, the one and only Helpful Elf at Hazuki’s Toyland.

Thank you for reading!!

FicMas Fest 2020 Masterlist

[ramuoto]

TOP 10 MANHWAs

if anything good came out of 2020, it’s my discovery of manhwas. 

well, it’s not like i’ve never read a single manhwa in the past 15+ years but tbh, the ratio of manhwa:manga i consume on a weekly basis has jumped exponentially this year. previously it was like 1:99 and now it’s like 90:10 LMAO. 

so, just to remind myself that the world is still full of good things, i had to make this list. which i will probably edit in the future, if i can be bothered to. :) 

anyhow, this list was not made in any particular order, just whichever came into mind. it’s loooong so be prepared! (I’ve read way more titles than mentioned but just included the ones worth checking out)

for whoever stumbles across this list, i hope some of these resonate with you and i hope they make you as happy as they made me. 

pic credits: https://geekculture.co/geeks-guide-to-transmigration-novels-avoid-death-at-all-costs/

1. Ebony

https://mangadex.org/title/41838/ebony

Bahahah omg he looks evil there! But our dearest archduke is hardly that aww. Soz, I just ripped off the covers of the manhwa cos I can’t find a panel I liked more than another. I mean, this manhwa is a GEM. I can’t even begin to describe this because everything about it blew me away. This is not something you read when you are craving for fluff, or just wanna have something brainless after a hard day at work or if you just wanna have some eye candy lol. This is something you pick up on a weekend, when you have time, because you need those hours to digest, appreciate, clutch your chest, tear a little because you find yourself falling in love with these characters. It doesn’t have any of that cliche isekai, romance, revenge themes going on. It has a solid plot, backed by incredible characters, beautifully woven by the authors and artist with incredible pacing that keeps you on your toes and keeps you looking forward to the next chapter. Maybe I would have been happier if I found it after it was completed lol. HAVE I CONVINCED YOU ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU WANNA READ IT?! like, idk, just go. JUST GO READ IT GDI. 

p.s. it says there romance but naaaaaaah, dont go in with that expectation. :) this story is so much more than that. 

2. Bring the love

https://mangadex.org/title/44472/bring-the-love

This...this!!! THIS MANHWA NEEDS MORE LOVE. If you need a lot of fluff, a little, ok maybe quite a bit of sadness and tragedy, sweet sweet romance, cutie pies, please, look no further!!! Again, pacing, character development are so important to me and this manhwa aces it. I love the 2 MCs very much. And the side characters too. :)

3.  A Stepmother's Märchen

https://mangadex.org/title/39474/a-stepmother-s-m-rchen

When I first read this, i fucking cried. like please don’t ask me why. it’s not like its an absolute tragedy but I was just rooting for the MC so much and I really want for everything to go her way. That’s how much I adore this MC!!! I LOVE HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU DO NORA! HAHAHHA. okay soz. I need to keep this spoiler-free.

Anyhoo, there is nothing typical about this time travel plot. Sure, she goes back to try to undo the stuff that went wrong but phew, she certainly changed things so much everything that comes her way have made it so her previous experiences can hardly help aaaaaaand that’s what makes it fun! I sometimes wish the pacing could be a little more consistent, and there could be more characters I could love a little more wholeheartedly (so i wont have to be in so much despair when i read this sometimes lol) but omg the art, isn’t it pretty?! I’ve re-read this soooooo many times but the art blows me away all the time. And have I already mentioned how much I love her?! I LOVE YOU SHULI! AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!

4.�� Lady Baby

https://mangadex.org/title/34691/lady-baby

I literally LOL-ed when I saw this cover. WHO THE HELL ARE THEY. WHAT LADY BABY?! ehehehe. okay anyway, uhm, this is already incredibly popular. im not sure if i need to elaborate but yes, it’s adorbs!!! i dont think i like the MC as much as i love her family lol. and everyone else who adores her. im looking forward to when they get older. :) actually not really. please stay cute for as long as yall can! but yeah, i do wish the plot can move a lil faster. i want to see more character development in the other kids too COME ON! 

5.  Death Is the Only Ending for the Villainess

https://mangadex.org/title/47754/death-is-the-only-ending-for-the-villainess

am i allowed to reveal how shallow i am rn? like the previous choices were all like ‘wow-deep-plot’, ‘wow-character-development’ and this one i just included cos of AESTHETICS ALONE?! the novel covers are breathtaking!!! the manhwa art is amazing as well. and the harem is great! LOL. as for plot... uhm... it’s alright. it’s pretty engaging and i quite like the MC, she’s smart and independent and i love how she views them all antagonistically at all times HAHAHHA. her past is kinda... weird though and i do wish they’d stop referencing it. cos... girl why do you wanna go back to reality!!! stay here! it’s way more exciting! 

i love the whole isekai/reincarnate/transmigration theme and this is honestly one of the better, not-so-cliche or cheesy ones HA.

6.  Beware of the Villainess!

https://mangadex.org/title/47286/beware-of-the-villainess

do you already see the whole villainess theme?! am i suppose to start feeling embarrassed about my choices?! NO! cos this one is AWESOME!

again, another wildly popular title. for good reasons. it’s hilarious, our MC is as real and candid as it gets and LOOK AT THAT BLUE HAIRED BEAUTY. DO YOU SEE HIM?! IMPLANT HIM INTO YOUR MEMORY NOW!

it’s highly entertaining and breaks all isekai-reincarnation-villainess plot stereotypes. definitely one of the titles i look forward to every week.

7.  Who Made Me a Princess

https://mangadex.org/title/32506/who-made-me-a-princess

what? why did i choose this?

BECAUSE OF CLAUDE OF COURSE. ahahaha. okay aside from the amaaaaaaazing art and the beautiful people, the plot is not too bad. a little extreme at times but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. it’s currently on hiatus though and i was highly annoyed by how the first season ended. (YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? NOTHING.)

i hope the plot can move faster in the next season! and that our dearest MC athanasia can you know, finally be a little more useful... like omg just tell lucas already!!! and tbh girl, no matter which guy you choose, i approve. :D 

8.  The Flower That Was Bloomed by a Cloud

https://mangadex.org/title/37648/the-flower-that-was-bloomed-by-a-cloud

i featured this before, mostly out of frustration HAHAHA. do you see why i chose this cover?! yeah, i support this (unpopular) pairing okay! the other one is doomed!!! no matter what the author is trying to do now!! I DONT SUPPORT IT!!! lol.

anyway, i had to feature this cos the art is unique! and the story is great. :) and i looooooove listening to the ost while i read it. it starts out kinda slow but as the pace picks up, you won’t be able to stop. and you find yourself conflicted at various points. it did win an award for a reason. 

no matter what, i still think dowun is best for her okay. it’s dowun or nothing. he’s devoted to her, we all know that! he just needs to ditch that annoying female guard!!! ok yknw what, maybe nothing is better. :/ *cries*

9.  Solo Leveling

https://mangadex.org/title/31477/solo-leveling

why do i even bother? this manhwa is popular enough. 

the art is great. the MC is great. i use him and his gang as my wallpaper. 

im just not sure i like how this season’s plot is progressing. :/ but i guess it brings us nearer to solving the mystery in the first leg of the manhwa. i just enjoyed the whole part of him leveling up and now that he isn’t really leveling up anymore... idk. am i hoping for more plot shit like bleach (oh wow now u quincy?)... idk man. anywho, no regrets starting on this series and marathon-ing it to death. 

cross fingers the plot picks up and doesnt get too complicated for its own good.

10.  The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion

https://mangadex.org/title/31606/the-reason-why-raeliana-ended-up-at-the-duke-s-mansion

okay, tbh, by the time i reached 10, i still have like 15 other series i was considering LMAO. i even considered lengthening this top 10 to top 15. but that would just be more of me and my nonsense. so... why did i choose this?

COS I LOVE THE 2 MCs!!! they’re adorable. the plot is again, kinda far-fetched at times (i literally laugh my head off at some parts) but it’s isekai-reincarnation okay! anything is possible in whatever magical crap country you end up in! lol. and i like how straightforward it is... in the sense there’s no 2nd lead. like okay i mean they are there but we all know they have no chance. oops. sorry!

and cos i can’t give up on the other titles i have, imma just list them down, without pictures... cos im tired. HA. 

11. Doctor Elise 

https://mangadex.org/title/29474/doctor-elise 

Kudos to the huge improvement in art style lmao. The good... lovable MCs, engaging plot. The bad... sometimes lengthy, incredulous medical moments (i work in the medical field so i... idk. sometimes this borders on iryu LMAO and i need to remind myself this is romance) otherwise, this is a highly highly entertaining read.

12.  Seduce the Villain's Father

https://mangadex.org/title/46775/seduce-the-villain-s-father

This is another of my ‘father-love’ whims. MC is adorable and ML is handsome. enough said.

13.  The Villainess Lives Twice

https://mangadex.org/title/49644/the-villainess-lives-twice

This is like a lesser version of Ebony and Bring the Love combined HAHAHA. The plot and premise is great and it’s awesome to marathon! I don’t find myself loving the MC as much as I should but the ML is a darling! I just find her a little toooooooo gloomy. Like come on girl, be more spunky! 

14.  The Stereotypical Life of a Reincarnated Lady

https://mangadex.org/title/46790/the-stereotypical-life-of-a-reincarnated-lady

I dont know why I like this so much HAHAHAHA. It hardly has a plot. I just find the MC and ML amusing i guess lol. 

15.  I'm Stanning the Prince

https://mangadex.org/title/45586/i-m-stanning-the-prince

Sometimes I wonder if I should be ranking this higher but I kinda feel this manhwa is trying to achieve too much with an underpowered MC. I love her... but I just don’t like how she’s just a pawn of everyone else and I dont know how she can change this situation of hers. It’s cute though. the MC and ML.  and the ML reminds me so much of american/jap Mackenyu. 

16.  The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

I HAD TO. the art is so pretty! but girl, dont use the hour glass so much! you look a little too old! i would appreciate it if MC stops basing too much of her moves on the “past” tho like idk you are gonna sound unoriginal soooooon like develop your own thoughts soon okay? <3

17. Inso's Law

ANOTHER ONE. omg. im a lil on the fence regarding this but i like MC too much. and her harem LOL. i dont see where the plot is going either but i just hope for a happy end... ):

18.  Why Are You Doing This, Duke?

HAHAHA. this is sooooo sooooooo cute, i would have ranked it top 15 if it wasnt licensed by tapas tho cos they are a joke. WHY NOT TAPPY GDI. 

19.  Miss Not-So Sidekick

Uh-oh. Is this a top-20 list now? anyway, the MC for this series is GOLD. im not liking where it’s currently heading tho thus the lower ranking.

20.  IRIS - Lady with a Smartphone

omg IVE NEGLECTED THIS FOR TOO LONG. lemme go buy more chapters hahahaha. it’s a tad too lengthy... otherwise i like the MC and yummy ML!

still not enough?

Special Mentions - Okay, these will be unranked cos I don’t think these are that good but probably still worth a read.

I've Become the Villainous Empress of a Novel - this is new, im looking forward to how it progresses wheeeee.

Lady to Queen - It’s a ruthless manhwa. There was a point i started reading all sorts of sadistic content (i was running out of content i swear) and this was one of the better ones. I appreciate the MC very much. the plot now is a little weird and im a bit wary of the MC’s sister... hopefully the ML can be more useful. he’s pitiful though. but dude come on, dont rely on the wrong gal.

Goodbye, In-law - I’m not sure if i like the current progress buuuuuuut MC and ML are cute so who cares.

The Duchess' 50 Tea Recipes - plot is still engaging. MC and ML are cute. i dont know where the plot is heading towards though. 

A Falling Cohabitation - this is interesting and fun but a lil lengthy.

Light and Shadow - the sequel is out!!! i highly enjoyed this entire series!!! i would have probably ranked it a lil higher if i did this post earlier but too many series have overtaken this in my heart lol.

This Girl Is a Little Wild - is the hiatus ending yet? i would add it back to top 20 if it came back LOL. it’s highly entertaining tho. ML is adorable.

The Duchess With an Empty Soul  - pretty nice. MC and ML are a little boring. i think it can end soon. LMAO.

A Capable Maid - it’s amusing how she gets her powers for all sorts of situations lol. the prince is creepy tbh. and im secretly rooting for the other king hehe.

Beware of the Brothers! - it’s cute and heart-wrenching at the same time! not too sure im digging the latest plot development but okay... i’ll take it. they’re all cuties.

Living as the Tyrant's Older Sister - hehehe. it’s cute. duke is kinda silly but the latest chapter made me squeal!!!

The Evil Lady's Hero  - idk where the plot is going but MC and ML are adorable!!!

The Dragon Next Door - HAHAHA. it’s hilarious.

The Youngest Princess - she’s growing uppppp noooooooooooo

Virtues of the Villainess - ginger is hilarious. i dont see where the plot is going tho... and cant say i like the ML yet. i dont even get to see him much, hello?!

The Justice of Villainous Woman - pretty wholesome... i like the MC! (the ML is fine. no one else to contend with so...) can u end already?! lol.

Amina of the Lamp - hey, what happened to this? it’s pretty inconsistent but i do like the MC and ML... and the art...

The Villain's Savior - this is some sadistic shit. i reserve it for when i feel sadistic. i pretty much wanna see MC happy but idk if she’s making the right choices. :/

I Don't Want to Be Empress! - HAHAHAHA uhm it’s getting interesting. i just want ML to step up more... 

La dolce vita di Adelaide - I FINISHED THIS! and it’s wholesome, feel-good and cute. some parts felt a lil extra but ah whatever.

The Black Haired Princess - plot. move. faster!!! otherwise the MC and ML are pretty cute.

The Abandoned Empress - im a lil on the fence but i know how popular this series is. it started out HORRIBLE. i hated the ML so much. and then i found the green hair boy creepy. like MC, you need better taste in boys. it’s certainly getting more interesting now though. so please, continue to make my money’s worth!!!

Lucia - i. am. not. guilty. of. anything. *smut warning* anyway go read the novel. it’s better. hehehe.

What's Wrong with Secretary Kim - i do not need to elaborate any further. 

Past loves 

I created this section just to remind myself, that what i could like one day, i could hate the next LOL.

The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess - I know this is wildly popular. but i lost interest in it once she grew up. i dont think she’s particularly lovable. soz.

Survive as the Hero's Wife - another popular choice. I find the plot kinda boring now. MC and ML are cute though. 

Sincerely: I Became a Duke's Maid - another popular one. again, boring plot. like cant it end yet? oh you mean we need to wait for the real female lead to show up? dont need luh.

I Am a Child of This House - wow. the plot is shit now. and i do not support the MC and her guard. soz. she’s OVERPOWERED tbh. 

This Is an Obvious Fraudulent Marriage - idk what happened but my enthusiasm for this died.

Charlotte and Her 5 Disciples - i don’t get it. i dont get their obsession for her. 

[word-addict-lisette]

My ultimate guide to avoiding procrastinating!

The first tip! Optimism!

Sounds crazy? I know. Hang on and read the rest of it.. it'll make more sense.

If you have a task at hand which needs to be completed, don't tell yourself that it is a task you need to complete for the sake of it. Instead, tell yourself that you have to complete it for a reason, a positive reason that is positive for you!

For instance,

If you have to clean, a lot of us will first think: " Oh goodness! Now i gotta clean!" But i stead you should think: "I deserve to work and live in a clean environment and thus i ought to clean."

This one change in your thoughts can prove very effective. It makes you look at things in a more positive way. So, thus i believe that optimism is very important when trying to get procrastination out of the way. When you are doing something for a positive reason it makes you mind less fatigued and more pleased to do something that they know is good for them.

Thus! Optimism is very important when doing a task... It helps you get it done quicker and makes you feel pleased once you are done with it and you feel quite more satisfactory with your work as well. It is quite uplifting to do a task which is for own good too.

The second tip! Nike!

I probably sound super mad to you right now. Nikes? Literally? Listen to me. Wait.

I don't mean the brand Nike... In a way i do, but! I don't the Nike shoes or anything i mean Nike's tagline. Just do it!

Laziness fuels even more laziness. Procrastinating fuels more procrastinating. Activity fuels more activity. Push yourself to do it, and you will do it. The hardest part is crossing the bridge from that gap between laziness to being active. That gap being your procrastination.

So, i tell myself. Do t think about it- just do it!

Thinking about it is not going to get you anywhere... It's just going to fuel your procrastination even more and you are going to end up doing nothing at all. So get up and do it. Push the laziness aside and Just Do It.

(I'm not even promoting Nike here, and if I am, they better pay me for this)

Either way, you have to get yourself to do... Remain focused and positive and you will get throught it and you will do it. I always tell myself that and it has worked!

The third tip! Time!

This is the most essential tip. My most favourite one too.

"If you have the time to feel like crap, complain and randomly scroll through social media, then you have the time to meditate, write in your journal, create a list of goals, make a list of things you are grateful for, complete that task you have been delaying and make time to make yourself feel better."

I keep telling myself that. Time is of the essence. Letting it go waste like that would be so bad. Make the most of it. Give yourself what you deserve. Read the above paragraph over and over again. Fit it inside your head.

A lot of us feel lazy to do things at times. But just be positive look at things the positive way and just push yourself to do it and remind yourself that this time should not be wasted. So just get up and do it. The results will please you.

Let yourself feel proud for the smallest of accomplishments. If you get one task done, them reward yourself for that. Because you deserve it.

The fourth tip! Priority!

Funky? I know. But look at what i mean. Prioritize your tasks. I know it can be hard at times. It took me some while to get used to make some things my priorities. By the time i found this method i was already wayyy deep into procrastinating. But i took it step by step.

I started off at an initial stage. Taking it slow. First when u get a task i add to my mental to do list and make it a priority ensuring that i realise it is important for me to complete. If it is related to cleaning up then i tell myself that i deserve a clean and pleasant environment and it relates to physical excercise or anything i tell myself that i deserve to stay healthy.

Next, i remind myself that doing and finishing this task of is important and if i manage to finish this task well and fine then i might reward myself later. And next when it comes to time i remind myself yet again that i do not have to end up procrastinating again and wasting my time on trivial tasks when i could be doing much more better and productive things.

Lastly, i push away anything that might be a distraction for me. I turn of my notifications, put my phone away, put my books in the bookshelf, turn off the television and set my mind on the goal i have to achieve! And then I am good to go.

It took time but i finally learnt to do it. Patience... That is the key. It won't kill you if you don't check your updates or neither will kill the other person if you don't reply to their text.

And by the way.... I have another secret tip! The fifth tip! It is my most useful and favourite one. I am very sure that the fifth tip will definitely help! But me being me... I'm gonna make y'all wait for that tip. Wait for my next post... Lol ima add the link to the previous post and the next one below.

The art of procrastination (Part 1)

How I got over procrastinating (Part 3)

[hereformcdonaldshonestly]

Hi, may I have a romantic mha matchup, please? dear lord i hope i haven't sent u this yet lol

Fleur | bisexual | girl | INTP

Appearance: I'm 164cm(~5'4) tall, slim&athletic, and I usually give off the 'cute good girl' vibe, so ppl are shocked when they hear me cursing a lot lol. Long brown hair with bangs, my deer eyes have the same color - I wear eyeglasses. My clothing style is very girly, mostly wearing skirts and dresses(sometimes elegant, sometimes rather cute outfits). There's a tiny, barely visible scar above my right eyebrow, I've opened our car's door on my head lmao.

Personality: I have a confusingly dual, hard-to-like personality. First impression is either a stoic resting bitch face bitch or the awkward, cute and polite girl.

I'm faking myself and good at keeping my emotions under control, I'm really adaptable(sometimes full-stoic, other times talkative). I HATE showing weaknesses, I'm hiding them from even people I love, I simply can't stand emotional vulnerability. Making me talk about my issues, problems? Nearly impossible.

My way of thinking is quite realistic and highly critical, I have opinions about everything, I get passionate while sharing them, deep conversations are keeping me alive. Sometimes I'm event told that I'm wise? Kind of.

I'm the CLUMSIEST person, and kinda awkward too, cringe situations always find me. Quite easily get jumped/pranked. My humour is colorful: TEASING, dark, morbid, absurd, trollish. Sometimes I can come off phlegmatic, rude.

I'm generally a kind, polite, caring and patient person tho. I take loyalty quite seriously, but I don't get attached easily. I have a kind of unapproachable, 'emotions ew' vibes, but I have a softie side who adores cuddling and giving love, affection to people - it's kind of a selfish coping mechanism for me at the same time, bc the feeling being needed is incredibly comforting for me. Also, I can be just a dumb idiot and loosen up with my little gang if I'm in the mood. Once my close friend told me that I'm an unpredictable person. I need a lot of alone time&space.

I'm also vain, snobbish, pro procastrinator, lazy and selfish just to mention some negative traits. I have massive self-hatred spirals, thinking I am a burden, unworthy for love on my bad days. Slight imposter syndrome I guess.

My love language is words of affirmation&quality time, and when I have to express it, I'm best with acts of service. I'm not so romantic, valentines day and similar stuff just gonna make me roll my eyes.

Hobbies/Likes: classical literature, theatre, politics, hiking, sightseeing, travelling,  mysteries, reading about disappearances(crimes, like Sodder siblings, Tara Calico etc.), trying out new things, yoga, running, horse riding, table tennis, listening to music, cats, thunderstorms, rainy days, cider, tequila, going out and drinking with friends, smoking sometimes, family time, psychology, sexual psychology, reading trash/funny FB comments, massaging others, deep converstaions, surrealism, anything indie

For you I chose:

Momo Yaoyorozu!

Reason

I feel like she would help balance you out, at first I thought about Katsuki Bakugou but then I decided that probably wouldn't work out the best. She would balance it out, trying to get you to talk about anything that's bothering you, but she isn't forcing you!

Why They Love You

Momo loves your soft side, she loves that you can feel comfortable around her. She also loves how wise you are! She feels like she can ask you anything and you'll be there to answer. Momo always respects your space and always is aware of what is going on, just so she doesn't make you stressed on accident.

Date Headcanons

As a date idea, Momo suggested a murder mystery tour! Where basically you walk downtown with a group and a tour guide, picking up clues and trying to solve the mystery! Turns out it was like one big walking version of Clue!

You guys went out for date night! You both agreed that you would go without a plan and see where it takes you, after an hour of walking, driving, and just talking, and that's you see the glowing sign for poem reading! You guys went in and sat down with some drinks, watching people read poems, sing, and talk about different topics. You guys had a great time together!

General Headcanons

Momo always asks about what you're reading that week. She always wants to learn more about the literature you like so she can read it as well! She knows how much you love classical literature so she starts suggesting different writers and even tried to buy you different books that she thought you would like!

Whenever it comes to a romantic holiday, she knows how you aren't a huge fan of them. She'll maybe surprise you with flowers or dinner, but she'll still treat it as a normal day. She surprisingly is the same way, not really understanding why it was a big deal. Unless you want to go and do something for it, she is completely okay with staying home and watching documentaries!

Songs That Remind Me of You Both

Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier

Yellow by Coldplay

I hope you have a great day!

[sketchguk]

Hi, friends! I can honestly say that I’ve been on Tumblr for about 9 years, but only 7 of those months have been spent on this account. Being a part of this fandom means so much to me, and as cheesy as it may be, I’ve never felt so much love from a community like this. I think that I should spread a little love back to everyone through this festive follow forever post in the spirit of the holidays (there’s also a message for my beautiful followers at the very end, so bear with me). Although I may have not spoken to you all personally, you’ve made my experience here amazing!! Whether it’s seeing you on my dash or in my inbox, you’ve all made me smile one way or another!! I’ll admit right now that I’ve sent so many anonymous messages to you all because I’m really shy, haha. Not to mention, I follow so many amazing content creators, gif/gfx makers and fic writers alike, and I want to make you smile as much as you have made me!! Y’all are so lovely, and I’m not totally sure why anyone chooses to interact with me or to follow me nonetheless. Maybe you’ve read a fic of mine, or none at all, I appreciate you all the same 💕 I know some of you may be in and out of hiatus, but just know that I’m thinking of you!! And if this is the first time you’re coming across my blog, I guess this is a good time to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Teresa. It’s nice to meet you 😄

If you’re reading this, hopefully we can chat a little more. I would love to get to know such lovely people 😊  To my beautiful mutuals, I love you all sooo much 💓 I’m not the best at expressing my feelings, but I hope that this is a start! @190713 @95swifi ✩ @alwayschoosechocolate ✩ @aureumjeon ✩ @beebopboobop ✩ @boobearcupcake ✩ @btsaremyfaves ✩ @btssmutheaven ✩ @bwiq ✩ @engeljimin ✩ @ddaengwrld ✩ @emiyooa ✩ @geniuslab 💌 ✩ @gimmeyoon (@gimmeyoon-main) ✩ @girlwiththespecs ✩ @gukgalore ✩ @gukkheaven ✩ @guktwt ✩ @hobimygs​ ✩ @hoseoknysus ✩ @idiotscalledfriends ✩ @joonary ✩ @kitsutaes (@geniusguk) 💌 ✩ @littlemisskookie ✩ @llsanjoonie ✩ @lovehrs ✩ @magicshop-myg ✩ @map-of-yoongi ✩ @maptoyoongi ✩ @mercurygguk ✩ @minflix ✩ @minlexia ✩ @minyoongsueit ✩ @mygsii ✩ @outroguks ✩ @pjmskosmos ✩ @sdmnluv ✩ @softaellie ✩ @spookitokki (@spookitokkimain) ✩ @starrytete 💌 ✩ @syugasshi ✩ @taesseok 💌 ✩ @tokyoscript ✩ @ve1vetyoongi ✩ @vminary 💌 ✩ @vtbts ✩ @vxngguk ✩ @wthkook ✩ @yourdelights 💌 If your url is bolded, scroll down for some words of affirmation. ✨ If you have an emoji (💌) next to your url, scroll down for a special message. 😇🌟  And here’s a shoutout to some of my favorite fic writers, because you all allow me escape to my happy place !! Thank you so much for contributing to the writing community !! This online space is pretty hectic, especially as of late, but you all make it worth it. Even if you’re taking a break from writing, I am here cheering you on !! And to let you know that I’ll support you no matter what. I hope you never lose your spark for passion and creativity !! Sometimes life gets the best of us, and other times, things are not in our control, but I want to send my love and appreciation to you nevertheless. Your fics have inspired me to try my own hand at writing, and I’m forever grateful ✨ You’re spectacular, every single one of you, so never forget that! Kpop isn’t that serious, but I’ll probably think about your fics until the day I die. @bymoonchild ✩ @floralseokjin ✩ @foreverpark ✩ @geniuslab ✩ @gimmeyoon ✩ @gukgalore ✩ @gukkheaven ✩ @guktwt ✩ @jamaisjoons ✩ @gukyi ✩ @kookswife ✩ @kinktae ✩ @kpopfanfictrash ✩ @minflix ✩ @mygsii ✩ @personasintro​ ✩ @prolixitae ✩ @readyplayerhobi ✩ @spookitokki ​ ✩ @ubemango ✩ @ve1vetyoongi (yee, you might see some repeats because my moots are super talented) 💖  A love letter from me to you: 💌 @geniuslab Megan !! This might sound soo sappy, but you’re the very first person I followed when I made this blog !! It’s because I’ve read all of your fics (perhaps more than once on my old account), and you inspired me to start writing as well. You have no idea how happy I was when you said you would get back into writing fics. I guess I’ll expose myself right now, but I’ve sent a few anons to you on the matter haha (yes, I am a 7 Chances enthusiast, one of many). You’re so talented, and I admire you so much 🥺 A gif maker and fic writer ?? Nothing you can’t do !! Among other things, you’re such a kind-hearted individual. I’ve read plenty of your text posts, and there’s just something so warm about the way you carry yourself. You deserve the world, and I wish for nothing but the best for you !! I hope you have an amazing new year and that you have space for peace, love, and healing. Please know that I support you through and through, and that you are well-loved ❣️

💌 @kitsutaes (@geniusguk) Yas !! I know we just started chatting, but I love getting to know you !! It’s hard for me to reach out to people because I’m shy, but I’m really grateful that you hit me up 😊 It’s been so nice getting to know you, and I hope we can get closer 💕 I’m already learning so much about you because our chats just flow from one topic to another !! You said you wanna visit new york one day, so I’ll hold you to that 😉 I’ll be your tour guide, and the only exchange I’ll ever need is your friendship !! Some dried mangoes would be nice too 😚 haha jk … unless 😳 I hope you have an amazing year filled with lots and lots of love. May you receive everything you’re wishing for !! 

💌 @starrytete Mirelle !! I’m still getting used to your new url LOL. But how could I ever forget you?? You are quite literally the human embodiment of an angel. You’re always spreading positivity, and I adore you with all my heart. I wish that I could be as radiant as you !! All the emojis that I’m using in this post?? An homage to you 🌼☀️ I don’t think I can ever look at emojis the same way thanks to you haha. Sending you lots of love!! I hope we can speak more in the future!! May the new year bring you happiness and good fortune!! Please take care of yourself, ok?! Message me whenever because my inbox is always open 🥰 

💌 @taesseok Mia !! I just love seeing you on my dash. I’ll give you a quick run down: Teresa: :[ Mia: *posts* Teresa: :] It’s like the universe knows. You’re a light in this world, and I hope you never lose your spark !! May you smile as often as I do (all thanks to you) 💗 I wish for nothing but your happiness since you deserve it and more. In fact, it’s the world that doesn’t deserve you and your sparkle !! I hope this year was rewarding for you, but I already know that 2020 will be better and better. I’ll be sending you lots of positive energy for the new year hehe 💞 Hopefully we can talk more soon !! I’d love to be friends !!

💌 @vminary Kiara !! I’m so happy that you reached out to me all those months ago because you’ve become one of my closest online friends !! I can’t tell you how much you mean to me because the limit does not exist. It’s so easy to talk to you, and sometimes our conversations are big sis/lil sis -esque (I’ve always wanted a sister lol 🐣). I feel as if we’ve taught one another so much, especially because of our cultural differences and the tiny age gap that we share. I find myself missing you because of the time zones LOL. In the middle of the day, I’m wondering whether or not you’re sleeping well :’) Why do you have to live across the world?? 😔 I would totally send you a package if I wasn’t broke haha. I’m sending you all my love here though, and I hope that’s enough !! 💛

💌 @yourdelights Destinee !! You are SUCH a sweetheart. The messages that you send me are so kind, and I don’t know what I did to deserve you. Do let me know how you stumbled across my blog because I feel like you’re way too cool for me LOL. Your posts are always so hilarious, and the tags have me dying. Your sense of humor >> !! My love for you is immeasurable, and I hope you know that, ahh. I think it was truly solidified when I found out you’re a fan of day6 and the rose :’) I’m not really a multi-stan, but from that moment on, I was sold. That was the only time my instincts did not let me down 🌹💝 I swear I’m getting introduced to new fandoms because of you haha. And when you went on a lil hiatus, I really missed seeing you on my dash !! I hope that you’ll be with us for a long time though !! I really can’t wait for what’s in store for next year, because no pressure or anything, but I’m sincerely excited for your WIPs hehe. I’m rooting for ya, so make sure you make the new year your b*tch !!  Lastly, thank you so much to my followers !! I see y’all in my activity, and I wanna let you know that I love you from the bottom of my heart !! At this point, I’m more of an update blog than a fanfic blog LOL :’) And if you follow me because you’ve stumbled through my fics, I just want to say 🤯 what?! It blows my mind that anyone reads my work, let alone enjoys it. I never would have though that I’d find solace in reading and writing considering I’m a full on STEM nerd. In conjunction with that, I literally started writing fiction 7 months ago to this day. I didn’t even realize that it would lead me to such amazing connections. With so many lovely people, popping in and out of my dashboard, inbox/DMs, and activity page, my heart b u r s t s with love!! Your interactions mean the world to me, even the most minute things like reblogs make my heart flutter. I really do check the reblogs to see if anyone has left a tag. Single words and keyboard smashes mean the world to me too !! Before I was a fic writer, I was just a silent reader. I always admired writers for the worlds they craft, the characters they develop, and the plots they devise, all for it to come together in one cohesive work of literature. Now that I have a vague understanding of what that’s like, I know that it’s nothing short of strenuous. Words are so powerful, and although I’m a really sensitive sap, I’ve read so many things that hit me to the core, and now I’m sure to tell the authors how much I enjoy their fics. If they went through hours (perhaps days/weeks/months) of drafting, writing, editing, and formatting, a quick comment from the reader really doesn’t hurt !! It’s the most rewarding thing a writer could ever ask for. As an amateur author myself, being on the receiving end is the thing that keeps me going !! I promise you, I don’t take any of it for granted. Your words seriously resonate with me, and it’s a huge motivator for me !! I hope that in the new year, I can work on new pieces for you all (as much as I don’t want to make up excuses, juggling life is not easy as a student!!) I always say that I write for myself, and as true as that is, I want to share my stories with you lovely people !! I pour my heart and soul into my work, and the build up of excitement is nothing if it means I can’t share it with someone else. So, old supporters, new supporters, look out for new content in the future. I hope you’re as excited as I am for the new year!! Please take care, y’all, and remember that I love you. My inbox is always open 💌 So let’s be friends 😇

[studyingwithchan]

so ive been struggling with both depression and anxiety for a while now, but both have went undiagnosed until a couple weeks ago

as of last year, the depression side of it has started to show more,,, usually the anxiety part was the strongest, but things have changed ! so now i will give u guys some tips that ive learned for coping with it, specifically for school

youre going to feel like quitting and it’s okay

lately, it’s been very hard for me to study. usually the anxiety is like omg !!! u have to !!! or else youll fail ur entire life !! and then depression is like “lol”

tbh it’s okay to give yourself a break from it. i find myself taking more breaks than usual, and theyre much longer now, but it helps. sure it takes me a little longer to get it done, but at least im giving my mental state well deserved breaks.

also, if you feel like you really just cant do it, and youre mentally exhausted, then stop. when youre in that state, it’s harder to take stuff in and it’s harder to retain information. it’s okay to push yourself a little past your limits, but dont break yourself.

exercise is your best friend

okay listen. it works.

at first, it was INSANELY HARD for me to work out, it felt like i was a giant cinder block that could not get anything done.

but i paced myself. that’s the most important thing to do. just do maybe a 15 minute walk on the treadmill, or if youre not comfortable with the gym, just walk around your house. do something that gets you out of bed and eventually youll crave more. because working out starts to make you feel good.

because of all this feelin good youll start to study better. taking in and retaining information becomes easier. it jus takes time and patience. i know it’s hard, and i know it’s easier to not exercise, but it’s worth it. i pinkie promise.

watch what you eat

this one is probably the hardest one for me to follow. ive been craving more “comfort foods” like pasta, fast food, and chocolate with soda.

chocolate and soda sound so good, don’t they? but it wont help you STUDY.

nuhnuhnuh, if you consume those kinds of things a lot in a day or in a week, it isnt gonna help your mindset which will lead to a horrible study session (and a worse lifestyle but we’re talking school here). fruits and vegetables are your real brain food, you need brain food, consume a nice big salad. give ur body some water please omg give it a bottle of water.

make your notes look cute!

i know this sounds a little ridiculous ok. but it helped me, so i thought id share it.

i had to do this BIG presentation on tapeworms like 15-20 minutes with a whole 3-4 page disease report on it. all due in the same week. my mind said: fuck that.

you know what though? the hardest part is starting. so the first thing i did was get a sheet of graph paper and looked up some fake calligraphy guides and made a cute, but disgusting title that said “Tapeworms.” and as i researched more, i kept adding little boxes and highlighting in different colors that still matched the theme, and i wrote all the research on that piece of paper.

it was glorious. and hey, i had everything i needed to do a presentation, and to write my report. it took me 2 hours to write the report and about an hour to do the presentation. idk why all those colors worked, but it did. now i do all of my notes like that because it helps me to get stuff done when things are appealing to look at.

basically, you know what im getting at

if you choose a healthier lifestyle, it will help you in school. notice how most of those tips were changing some of the bad habits that come with depression. it’s hard to do, but im in the process of doing it, and it’s helping a lot. self-discipline is a treasure, and you need it to survive this. and you can find it, it just takes time. you can do it. i know you can.

some other odd tips

sleep with a stuffed animal at night,,, it’s a comfort

get those papermate gel pens, or the bic pens and use crayola supertips as highlighters !!!

find a new book to read, it’ll keep your mind fresh

or do some puzzles! keep your brain working with sudoku or jigsaw puzzles

start somewhere. even if it’s typing 2 sentences within an hour, you have started something so good job!

make a list of things you need to do, but mark the top 3 tasks that Need to be Done by Today

don’t drink a lot of coffee. try tea instead.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[mayuuunaise]

fic: the price we pay (01/??)

a/n: u v u king of caste au bc i’m a sucker for angst and gang wars LOL i had to cut the first chapter in half bc it was getting too long though :’D 

fandom: b-project: koudou ambitious read on: ao3 | under the cut

When Tsubasa’s mother breaks the news of her discontinued scholarship to her, the first thing she thinks about is Nome-san and how he’ll be burdened with even more work from now on, having to balance the athletics club, some unknown after school extra-curricular that they don’t like talking about, and now secretarial work on top of it all. The next thing that registers in her head is that oh, wait, she won’t be leaving just the student council but Houou Academy itself, isn’t she?

“Tsubasa-chan?” Her mother calls out her name and snaps her from all the worry her head seems insistent on clogging her brain. The older Sumisora looks close to tears, weary and tired from working two jobs just to let them scrape by. “This, I—I’ll work something out, Tsubasa-chan, don’t worry. There’s only half the school year left, ri, right? We can scrape together enough to pay for half of the tuition fee — somehow — and, I could borrow money from your aunt, okay?”

Tsubasa looks in horror at her mother slowly but surely coming undone. The older woman collapses into a seating position on the kitchen chair, burying her face with shaking hands. Her mother hates her aunt, how could she even think about borrowing money from a woman who has practically disowned them after her father died?

“Mother—”

Her mother continues rambling, most likely hasn’t heard Tsubasa call out to her in such a meek voice. “I might need to get a third job… or, or you could work part time for your allowance— oh, I’m sorry, dear. You should be focusing on your studies, what am I thinking—”

“Mother.”

Her voice is firmer and Sumisora Miho finally looks up to face her daughter. There’s a sharp jolt in Tsubasa’s chest when she finally sees how disheveled her mother looks even though today is supposedly the only day of the week she should be resting. The dark circles under her eyes look like they’ve stained her skin permanently, her cheek bones more pronounced than they usually are. It isn’t supposed to be this hard on her mother, nor on her. Life shouldn’t be this unfair.

So Tsubasa sucks it up, as always, and gives her a watery smile that doesn’t quite reach her wine coloured eyes.

“Mother, it’s okay. We don’t have to stay.” She tells her and it’s a miracle that her voice stays even. “I understand, I can drop out of school for the year, or enroll in a public school nearby. It’ll be okay.”

Fresh tears well up in her mother’s eyes before she buries her face in her hands again, choking back sobs as her shoulders shake. Tsubasa gathers her in her arms and rubs soothing circles on her back. Apologies spill from her mother’s croaking throat and Tsubasa wishes it doesn’t have to be this way.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, god, Tsubasa-chan—it, it isn’t— you’re not supposed to— I’m so, so sorry.”

Budget cuts, they say. The academy will be building another wing for extracurriculars and the board of directors have decided to cut the budget for their scholarship program for underprivileged students with high potential, like her. They’ve decided that her scholarship has been terminated for the school year, but she’ll be able to continue if they pay for half of the tuition fee. They list down options for her payment, should she wish to continue in the academy, and will be accepting installments with set deadlines if needed be. Considering she’s in the special course, there is also the matter of her extra classes to discuss—

Tsubasa doesn’t read the letter any further than that, the entirety of it making her sick to her stomach.

Her mother continues to weep in her arms and Tsubasa hugs her tighter through the night.

—

Tsubasa supposes ripping out the metaphorical bandaid should be better than delaying the inevitable.

“What’s this?” But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“My resignation letter, President.” The brunette tries her hardest not to let her voice crack. The way Kitakado stares at her — ice blue eyes unblinking, intense, right through her soul and completely ignoring the painstakingly handwritten piece of parchment in his hands — makes her waver. Tsubasa doesn’t wait for a response or a rebuttal, not from the student council president sitting calmly in a quiet cold, nor from his younger assistant standing by his side. Instead, she bows, deep and solemn at the waist, before asking to excuse herself and rushing out of the room she once called home.

—

Ryuuji asks her later on when he catches her hiding in one of the west wing’s stairwells, if she isn’t upset at all about it, if she doesn’t find it unfair for the school to suddenly just take away a gift they’ve already given. Tsubasa has grown numb with the topic, but the venom in Ryuuji’s pretty fuchsia eyes as he asks her, quietly, to be angry and to grow upset with how unfair her circumstances has come to be, leaves a stinging pain in her chest.

Instead she escapes with a response that doesn’t strictly answer his question, gives him a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes as she says, “I’ve been very lucky already, to be able to study here for as long as I have and meet all of you.”

The noncommittal hum that comes out of Ryuji’s mouth tell her it’s not the answer he has been looking for. He doesn’t say anything else, and leaves her cold and lonely with only the sound of receding footsteps stopping her from letting her tears fall.

—

Tsubasa breaks the news to Hikaru when she asks to walk with him all the way to his part time job that same afternoon, instead of just to the station as per usual. Hikaru is silent — for once — the entire time she talks, and Tsubasa thanks him for it with all her heart. She hasn’t been able to talk freely about it with anyone, knows that they won’t be able to understand as well as Hikaru would.

When Tsubasa is finally done, she sees an unfamiliar, angry expression crossing Hikaru’s handsome face.

“That’s messed up!” He exclaims, looking close to throwing the skateboard under his arm. “Can’t we tell them to stop the construction? The Prince is the student council president and the chairman’s nephew—!”

“I, I couldn’t ask Kitakado-san to do that. It’s already been decided.”

“Well— what if, what if I gave you my scholarship? Would they take it? It’s only a half, unlike yours, and you’d need to work part time but I—”

“Hikaru-kun, you know that’s not allowed.”

“But—“

“Your mother and your younger siblings are all counting on you.” Her frown wavers at the guilty look Hikaru gives her. Tsubasa’s expression softens and she sighs, letting out all the frustration with it. “And besides, I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

Hikaru looks unconvinced and they walk along the streets in silence until Hikaru asks her in the quietest voice Tsubasa has ever heard from him, “Do you know when you’re leaving?”

“This is my last week,” she admits in an equally quiet voice, hands fidgeting with the hem of her school blazer. Briefly, she wonders if she’ll need to return the uniform along with her school sanctioned text books by the end of this week. “I’ve handed my resignation letter to Kitakado-san earlier as well. I’ll be telling Nome-san in person soon, please don’t say anything to him yet.”

“Ah… that means Tatsu will have to do actual student council work. I wonder if he can handle it all.”

Tsubasa lets out an unexpected laugh at his words. “Nome-san is very capable, he just doesn’t have time for it.”

“Whaaaat? Tatsu would totally be all frustrated and stuff with all the note takings and the meetings! You know that’s why we had to get you, right?” Hikaru pouts.

“Among other things,” Tsubasa hums with a small upward twitch of her lips. She’s grateful for Hikaru, even if she initially had zero interest in serving with the student council. She’s grown to become attached to the boys she’s been working with and her days always seemed more colourful alongside them. Tsubasa feels a little close to crying at the memories flashing through her head; she clears her throat instead and squares her shoulders like the way Nome would always remind her when she seems to be retreating in herself.

“But I know Nome-san will be fine; I’m certain.” Tsubasa looks up and gives him what she hopes is a reassuring smile. Hikaru’s pout gets bigger, his frown deepening and marring his handsome face. She wants to tease him, just a little. “You know I’m more worried about you, Hikaru-kun. I know they’ll be able to take care of you, but you…” she swallows. “You’re always running headlong towards somewhere I can’t reach.”

There’s a pause in their banter, as if Hikaru isn’t quite sure if he should continue where they’re going. When she glances over his way, his expression tells her that he’s still trying to find the right combination of words to say. He looks the same as he always does whenever he’s close to telling her something that she knows he shouldn’t. Hikaru takes a deep breath, “Tsubasa-chan, I—”

“Hikaru-kun,” she interrupts before he can say anymore. Hikaru looks a little guilty, catching himself. “It’s okay. I’ll understand why eventually.”

Hikaru looks down. If Tsubasa looks hard enough, she can see his shoulders are starting to shake. “I wish you didn’t have to go…”

Tsubasa stops in her tracks, chokes back a few tears before whispering, “Me too.”

—

“It really is quite a shame. Are you sure there’s nothing more we can do to persuade you to stay, Sumisora-kun? You’ve been a wonderful student.” Daikoku-sensei definitely means well, she’s sure of it, but she can’t help the gloomy thoughts from appearing in her head. If the school is so set on keeping their students, why cut the budget for scholarships?

“I’m sorry,” it’s the only thing Tsubasa can reply to that. She hands over the collected notebooks with a polite smile. “Thank you for teaching me and guiding me all this time, Daikoku-sensei.”

The older man gives her a soft, gentle smile. “It has been a pleasure teaching you, Sumisora-kun. It’ll be hard to adjust in the middle of the school year, but a student as bright as you can only go forward. Where do you go from here?”

“The nearest high school from my house would be Shishidou High School.” It’s only a few minutes walk from their rented apartment, which means she’ll be cutting on transportation expenses. Tsubasa wonders, very briefly, if she should be taking the time to ask Hikaru for skateboard lessons to also cut back on travel time before dismissing the thought entirely and deciding it’s already far too ridiculous for her to consider. “My mother has already informed their principal of the transfer and we’re glad they were willing to accept on such short notice.”

Daikoku-sensei doesn’t appear too thrilled at the information, his mouth forming a thin line and twitching downward ever so slightly. He crosses his arms over his chest, giving her a somewhat incredulous look from his seat. “Are you sure about that? There must be other schools in the area that are a better choice for you, academically speaking.”

Tsubasa has thought about it, she isn’t going to lie. But she’s also planning on taking up a part time job now that her extracurriculars have been freed up to at least lessen her mother’s financial load the slightest bit. Entering a lower level school where she doesn’t need to spend the waking hours of the morning to study as hard would be better for her in the long run, especially when she’s seen Hikaru sleep like the dead after double pay graveyard shifts when he used to work in a convenience store.

Honestly, she’s also a little embarrassed to tell the truth and remains silent, politely smiling at her (soon to be former) homeroom teacher. Daikoku probably knows this as well because he sighs and massages the back of his neck with a little shrug. “Well, it’s your choice. But, actually…” the blonde drifts off before smiling to himself, seemingly amused by whatever he’s thought of now. “My younger brother works there. If you ever meet him, send him my regards, would you?”

Tsubasa smiles back and gives him an affirmative before she excuses herself. As soon as she steps out of the faculty room however, she almost collides with a taller figure and squeaks out from instinct.

Long fingers wrap around her forearms to keep her from falling, and she looks up to find a set of familiar heterochromatic eyes staring at her in worry. She gasps in surprise, stepping back and out of Momotarou’s reach.

“Momo-kun, how long have you been standing there? I’m sorry, I should have been watching where I was going—”

“Is it true, Tsubasa-san?” The red head’s voice is level and cool, but Tsubasa has always feared the calm before the raging storm. “You’re going to Shishidou, of all places?” Involuntarily, she swallows nervously, wine coloured eyes darting around in order to find a way out. It isn’t as if she’s keeping it a secret, not from the student council anyway. Add to the fact that Momo is also her classmate, she would never stand a chance at hiding it from him.

“Momo-kun, I—”

“It’s dangerous, there, and you know it.” The way he says it sounds like there’s no room for argument. There’s an uncharacteristic layer of simmering anger underneath his cold gaze. Tsubasa understands his irritation, or at the very least she tries to. She’s heard of the rumours; of how it’s a school for drop outs and delinquents in westside Shibuya. That it’s a miracle the school is still standing at all considering how many crimes have been linked to both students and teachers alike, though never really proven. There have been talks, especially, about a gang of high school students threatening to take Shibuya for itself.

But what choice does she have?

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine, Momo-kun,” she figures her smile is unconvincing because Momotarou continues looking extremely disappointed at her. She almost withers at his expression, but attempts to sound firm. “Nothing bad is going to happen, I’ll just go to school and go home and be extra careful if you want me to.” The red haired young man hesitates the slightest bit and Tsubasa uses the opportunity to side step out of his direct contact. She smiles and bows politely, “If you’ll excuse me, I still need to get to class.”

[cutesunggyu]

Hi! I'm new to BTS, discovered them when Not Today came out. I haven't fully caught up on previous eras, like I haven't read all the theories and details, and I'm a little confused about the next one. Like how does all of this work? Is there always a story to decipher? Is there a guide or explanation videos to follow somewhere? Thanks!

hi, hello!!! welcome to the fandom!! 🌸🌸

so i know joining after the initial start of all this theory stuff is a little daunting, so i’ll try and break it down as best i can lol.  (warning: it ended up being a lot anyway oops)

also, if anyone who reads this wants to reblog and add something i missed, expand in your own words or add your own theory, please do so!!!

(theory’s and timeline under the cut)

HYYH ERA

so all of these theories stem from the start of the HwaYeong YeonHwa era, (though there are also theories that this has been planned even since their debut, but idk about that), which has three albums and four videos that are connected within the era, and the idea and inspiration for this is ‘youth’ and how youth can be considered ‘the most beautiful moment in life’.

all of these videos are meant to be watched in a certain order (i need u - prologue - run - epilogue: young forever)

the most beautiful moment in life pt.1 album

so there are two mvs for I Need U: the (15+) ver. & the original ver.. The original version has more detail and more clues to the story. 

the most beautiful moment in life pt. 2 album

prologue vid, (which gives samples of the song ‘Butterfly’ from pt. 2, and gives more extension to the stories in I Need U)

run mv 

the most beautiful moment in life: young forever album

epilogue: young forever mv 

i’m also throwing in the japanese ver. of these mvs because they also have clues and details to the storyline:

i need u, japanese ver.

run, japanese ver.

so there are lot of theories from this based on the storyline so far - some of the most prominent ones are that only jin is dead or that jin is the only one alive.

now pay attention to the pairings in the mvs: yoongi & jungkook, jimin and hoseok, namjoon and taehyung, and seokjin is by himself. this is important and will continue to show up in other videos.

(now to the next era, where we get more clues and ideas but also more confusion lol)

WINGS ERA

at the start of this era, we were given 7 short films for each member, all titled with the same name as their solo on the album wings. this era was based heavily off the book demian by hermann hesse, and at the beginning of each short film a small excerpt from the book is read by namjoon, as well as there are excerpts in the boy meets evil trailer and in the middle of the blood sweat and tears mv. the ideas behind this era were temptation and growth.

-wings album-

jungkook - begin

jimin - lie

taehyung - stigma 

yoongi - first love

namjoon - reflection

hoseok - mama 

seokjin - awake

and then the trailer for the album was released, titled boy meets evil, which was alluded to in both the fire and save me mvs (at the end of each there was a screen that read boy meets ___)

boy meets evil

then the mv for blood sweat and tears was released

blood sweat and tears

(im going to cheat a little by including the japanese mv of blood sweat & tears here, even though it was released after YNWA, it has heavy connections to the kor. version)

blood sweat and tears, japanese. ver

so here are some more theories for this era, which one idea is the concept of the butterfly effect, or the idea that even small choices and actions have the ability to change everything:

‘demian’ connection theory: 1 | 2

wings short film theory: x

bs&t theory: x ; japanese ver. theory: x

-wings: you never walk alone album-

now the repackaged album had two titles, ‘spring day’ and ‘not today’. and has a separate idea from the full album. the idea behind this one is pretty self explanatory. ‘spring day’ is thought to be based off the short story the ones who walk away from omelas, (description) 

spring day mv

not today mv

the theories:

spring day theory: x (mentions omelas, how the mv could allude to the sewol ferry tragedy, along with depression & suicide, but also hope.)

another spring day theory: x (after separating and dealing with their own troubles and tragedies, they meet again, also following the ‘you never walk alone’ idea)

( the idea behind ‘not today’ is about never giving up, and that you gain strength from being together and fighting the tough times together (eng, lyrics)) 

not today theory: x 

now to the theories for the recent posters

LOVE YOURSELF?

so the past three days, bighit has released posters for their ‘love yourself’ films, starring each of the boys. 

first they released solo posters for each of the boys, each with a different quote on the poster. 

jungkook poster

yoongi poster

jimin poster

namjoon poster

taehyung poster

hoseok poster

seokjin poster

then today the released the pairing posters (jk&yg, jm&hs, nj&tae), and the three posters each had the same quote on it: ‘after returning from the sea, we were all alone’, (trans. @allforbts) which is thought to refer back to the prologue where they were on the beach with each other, and happy, but how when they left and were alone, they were sad. 

seokjin’s poster was labeled with a different tagline: ‘If I could turn back time, I want to go back to the sea of that summer ‘ (x) which also refers back to when he was at the beach and ended up being the only one left there.

(i’ve also already seen theories that perhaps the coloring differences on the pairing posters is significant, since one person is lit well and the other is dark and dimmer) 

so today (8/13) bighit decided to drop another thing on us!! jin’s note (trans. @ktaebwi) from hyyh, which has many many references to the videos from that era, but also mentions jin fighting tae, which can be seen in the japanese ver. of bs&t. it kind of tells us a little of what happened to them, but also creates more questions. (like how it mentions what happened to jungkook, what happened between namjoon, seokjin and taehyung, mentions how hoseok called jin to tell him jungkook had been hit, but doesn’t talk about yoongi or jimin specifically by name. hm)

so that’s it for now. obvs im sure there are a million other theories and stuff that could go along with these storylines, but i tried to keep it as minimal as possible,

i’m very sorry if this is a lot (i know it is) and is hard to keep up with. but fear not, once you get it all its pretty easy to make connections yourself once you’re more informed on whats happened so far.

thanks for the ask; sorry my reply took so long. :)

[thirstyfortom]

Since requests are open if you don't mind could ya do a extra petty MC/Reader giving RFA++ a case of blue balls because they got into an argument over the littlest thing. If you don't want to I completely understand. Thank you ❤️ AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOUR WRITING LIKE THIS ANON MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE TAKEN SOME TIME TO READ EVERYTHING ON YOUR MASTERLIST🙄❤️

Lol, I kept laughing everytime I read this request, idk why. Thank you, honey, hope u like this!^^

RFA with a MC on sex strike (NSFW-ish)

Zen

Hewas late for dinner with your family. Again.

Whenhe finally arrived, you pretended that everything was fine, and everybodybelieved, including Zen.

Soafter you two get home, he’s pretty sure you’ll be in a good mood and ready toplay with the beast a little… WRONG!

“Goodnight, Hyun.” You turn your back on him and keep it like this all night. And soit continued for the next two weeks.

TWO.WEEKS!

Andhe thought the beast would be crazy, drooling and biting its leash, but… thebeast now is just a puppy curled up in a corner, whining.

Youwish you could say you feel bad for him, but in your defense, it’s not thefirst time he prioritizes work over you, as he told a million times before hewouldn’t do.

Soyeah, you’re kinda having fun looking at him pouting at you and trying to getmore than a quick kiss or hug.

 Andthough he’s struggling so much, he knows why you’re doing this, he deserves. Buthe needs to focus, he can’t keep forgetting his lines and missing marks likethis, if you at least went to watch the musical he’s been working so hard…

Youmight be mad at him, but you wouldn’t lose a premiere of his new musical, itmust be really good for him to keep dumping you in order to rehearse for this.

Andboy… it’s not only good, it’s AMAZING! Maybe it’s because you’re missing him aswell, but… this character of his seems a little sexier.

Assoon as the musical is over, you run to his dressing room. “Hey, babe… did youlike the mus…mmmmm.” You practically attack him.

“B-babe?”“Why didn’t you tell me this was the musical that was taking all your time?”you ask, but don’t even let him answer, your mouth is on his again.

Zenis shook, but in a good way. He’s kinda relieved you missed him as much as hemissed you.

“B-babe…let me… ahh… let me just take the costume off…” he says breathlessly while youkiss his neck. “I want you to keep it on.”

Okay…so who’s the real beast here?

 Yoosung

Hefailed one of his tests in college. The one he did the morning after pulling anall nighter to play LOLOL

Youcan’t count all the times you told him to forget this game and go to sleep thatnight. Did he listen? No. So now here he is whining about this exam and you’renot having it.

 Allhe wanted was a little… comfort fromyou after the test fiasco.

“Goplay some LOLOL or whatever to get that comfort, since this works so well foryou.” And you go back to your book.

Thatlong book you’ve been reading for two weeks and a half now, it must be goodsince you’re not paying any attention to your boyfriend. Any kind of attention.

Thispoor baby, he could handle not having sex when he was single, but he neverprepared himself to be without it when you came along.

Soyeah… he’s back to those very loooong showers and that constant nervous stateof mind from when he was single.

Buthe never shows it in front of you, so you’re pretty sure he’s doing finewithout smexy times…

Andhe is, most of the times, the problem here is that it feels like he’s grounded,like a little kid. Because he behaved a like a little kid and ugh… he feels sopathetic.

Sohe replaces those long showers for long study sessions, he needs to ace thenext test to get his grades and his relationship back on track.

Andyou’re not made of steel, so of course you help him study. And having this boyso close, so focused, acting so serious and mature… it’s so sexy…

“Earthto MC?” he calls for you as he notices you keep staring at him. “I… think youunderstand a lot about the… constitution of amphibian’s hearts now, Yoosung.”

“Youthink? Well, we’ve been studying for a couple of hours now and… hum… MC?” youkeep coming close to him, he’s shuddering.

“Whydon’t we focus in human’s heart right now? For example, mine and how you’remaking it race by acting so grown up…” you manage to sit on his lap, and he’ssweating as you nip his jaw lightly.

“M-MC…what about… my test tomorrow?” “It’s early, you need some encouragement fortomorrow and after I’m done with you, you’ll sleep like a baby.”

That’sexactly what happened. And after he aced his test, you gave him a reward.

Jaehee

Ofcourse you like Zen’s DVDs, okay? You just don’t like that’s the only thing youtwo watch.

Youwant her to relax and have fun, but… come on, she really needs to be thatselfish and not even consider your suggestions for movie night?

Andshe gets so in the mood after watching it, so generally movie night leads tosomething else… well, not tonight.

Youdoze off in the couch while the DVD is still playing and wake up a littlelater, telling her you’re tired and going to bed now… oh, okay.

Andevery movie night has been ending like this for a couple of weeks now…

Okay,sex is not the most important thing in this relationship, she enjoys justspending time with you without getting all hot and bothered.

But…a woman has her needs, you know?

AndZen’s DVDs may do the trick for a while, but… she’s missing the real thing…with you…

Shehandles pretty well, but she keeps getting distracted at work and getting alittle snappy even at Zen in the chat room.

Butshe knows why you’re mad and… well, it wouldn’t kill her to give a chance toyour choices, would it?

Soyeah, she’s wondering how to discuss it with you and apologize after you twoclose the café for the day.

Andyou’re kinda worried you’re being too harsh on her, since she’s obviouslyacting like she’s in some kind of abstinence crisis.

Sotime to make it up for lost time… “Honey, do you mind showing me how to do thatbrownie dough again?”

Shesighs, she’s so tired, but you just called her ‘honey’, how can she say no? Shestands by your side, you hands moving messily around the dough on purpose.

“No,MC. It’s not like this, it’s just…” “Why don’t you guide my hands? Here, youcan come behind me.” Lord help her…

She’sbehind you, but her hands are not guiding yours, they’re all over your body.

Jumin

Hegot jealous of an old friend of yours.

Nomatter how much you told him this guy was almost like a brother, he was stillacting cold and distant.

Usuallywhen this happens, you give him the most passionate kiss you can, and you twoend up in bed, but… he can’t get away this easy this time, not with such a goodfriend of yours…

Ishe acting cold? You’re acting colder as you told him you were sleeping withElizabeth in the guest room that night.

Andso it continued for the last three weeks.

Okay,this man lived not minding sex for a very long time, so he should be fine,right?

WRONG!He lived fine without sex because he had no idea it could be this good withsomeone he loves.

Thoughhe looks all calm and collected, deep inside he could climb up walls in despair.

He’sdrinking more wine than usual and coming back from work more and moreexhausted.

You’refeeling a little bad? Yes, but just remembering how your friend said goodbye toyou telling he didn’t want to put you in trouble with your fiancée makes yourblood boil and you end up enjoying this punishment a little longer.

Butthen you get a call from Jaehee asking if something is going on, since Mr. Hanis acting really weird, getting all distracted and rude to some employees.

Ugh…you didn’t want to harm his job and his employees… also, you miss him too.

Soyou show up to his office for your usual lunch with him, not so usual when yousit on his lap, he widens his eyes as he realizes you’re not wearing panties.

 “I-I apologize for what happened with yourfriend, MC, I…”. You reach for his ear “You’ve been a bad boy to me, and Ialready punished you enough. Am I not being bad to you right now?”

“I…yes, kitten. A little.” “So… what are you waiting for? To punish me?” his lipscrash to yours as you smile teasingly.

Mr.Han was calm for the rest of the afternoon, the employees now are trying tofind when it’s your birthday to send you a gift.

Saeyoung

Honestly,you don’t even remember why you were fighting.

Probablyit was because of a bunch of little things that turned into a big thing as youusually don’t discuss a lot.

 Becausehe quickly fixes what he did wrong with some big weird gesture like showing upat your workplace dressed as a teddy bear to apologize, you laugh and forgetwhy you were mad before.

Whichis usually adorable, but talking like the two adults you are would be better inorder to not get into big messy fights like this last one.

Andsince you’re not even talking, he wasn’t expecting you would let him touch you,so… yeah, he’s pretty conformed he’s not getting any of that.

But after almost three weeks, he’s starting tofreak out a little.

Andsince he doesn’t have his job anymore to hide himself in his office and justwork, he’s spending even more time with his brother.

Saeranknows these bonding moments are important, but… ugh, his brother is gettingeven more clingy than usual.

Seriously,his brother is annoying him more than he normally does, making him do theseweird hobbies like pedicure and gardening.

“Goeasy on my brother, MC.” Saeran asks you bluntly, but deep inside he wants tobeg on his knees for you to take his brother away from him, because he’sdriving him nuts.

Andthough it’s kinda of funny, you’re worried for both twins. Saeran really needshis own space and you… need your boyfriend.

Soat night, when you finally roll your body to face Saeyoung in bed, you smilesweetly and stroke his hair.

Yourmouth finds his quickly and he has no shame in showing how desperate he is andhow much he missed you.

“I’msorry. Let’s not fight anymore, please?” “We’ll fight again, but it will befine as long as we talk about it, okay?” he nods, and your lips crash againsthis again.

“MC,before we continue, just know that’s been three weeks of sexual frustration, Ihope you don’t have any plans tomorrow because I won’t allow you to leave thisbed so soon, copy that?”

Youcopied, and neither of you walked straight for the next two days, which grossedSaeran out.