#please support the person who got these and uploaded them

[cupcakehamster64]

UNPROCESSED VOICE LINES ( without the robot filter, NOT MY VIDEO, timestamps under cut )

0:00 - Glamrock Chica

1:18 - Glamrock Freddy

3:36 - MOON POOKIE WOOKIE BO BOOKIE :)

4:05 - Roxxane Wolf

5:45 - Ruined Roxanne

8:20 - SUNNY WUNNY BUNNY UR SO FUNNY :)

[inkblotsinkblots-alt]

My experience with [band]

My experience with [band] and [band]'s management starts in April 2022. I had emailed the band's business email that used to be in their bio in December 2021, and in April 2022 I got a response. I had been asked if I was available within the next couple of weeks to come down to Brighton and do a photo shoot with the band. Management really liked my work, and wanted to work with me. I was asked to provide my rates and any expenses that would incur. I had asked if I would be at least credited for these images on social media (tagged etc ...), and management said that they could not commit to that at that time. This photo shoot did not happen.

I worked with [band] for the first and only time in January 2023 and photographed / videoed their set.

I was completely blindsided by the fact that this could’ve been a huge opportunity for me, and it could change my career completely. When I got the email inviting me to work with the band, I screamed and actually worried my parents for a few minutes. I agreed to terms that I shouldn’t have (not a full written agreement, but various statements in emails). In hindsight I had no clue what some of them meant (and I think the band’s management knew that).

There was no formal contract, only emails. The band would own my photos 'in perpetuity' and when I asked what that meant, they (management) said that 'the band have the freedom to use them however they please'. Making money off of my photos, and putting them on merch that they would then sell out of, was not mentioned. I was under the impression they would only be using the photos on social media as I did not get any clarification, even though I asked for it. I wanted to press for a more detailed answer, but I was afraid that I'd lose the job.

This was never about the money that I'd potentially make from having my photos on merch, it's that I didn't even know it was happening. I was also 'allowed' to upload '3-4' photos to my social media from the gig, even though they were my photos. I was stupid enough to agree with this. Again, I felt as though if I challenged this I would lose the job.

At the end of the show in January 2023 I was promised at least a couple of shows on the upcoming tour, as '[I was] great to work with. Such a pleasure.' I have no evidence that I was offered shows during that tour as it was said to me in person. I was then let down at the beginning of March (after multiple follow up emails) with 'I don't think there is the additional need for your services also' when I asked about discussing the tour. I was devastated.

I was offered photo passes* to subsequent Manchester gigs and I took them as they had no strings attached, and the band would not own my images (that's why you've seen a lot of them on my socials).

I met a bunch of well-known creators, musicians and photographers while working with [band] and they were all so very sweet. Some of which I am still in contact with today, and some I am good friends with. I am very grateful for this.

I fully support Shelby, she is so incredibly brave for talking about her experiences, and it's because of her bravery that I felt confident enough to share my experience - although very different in nature.

I fully believe that [band]’s management wanted to take advantage of fans who wanted to photograph [band]’s gigs. And pay them as little as possible with no consistency in pay between photographers or how many photos they were allowed to post. (This is my own opinion)

I am not the only one that has had a negative experience with [band] and their management as a photographer / creative, but those are not my stories to tell and if they want to comment then they will. Please don't speculate on who these people are or harass them on social media, they have every right to not want to talk about their experiences. Please respect everyone involved.

Massive love, take care of yourselves.

am

(*Photo passes are offered to press photographers and non-touring photographers. They shoot the first three songs from the photo pit and then leave. Either to go into the crowd for the rest of the gig, or leave the gig entirely.)

please do not edit this post or reblog, do not take screenshots and post this on twitter or any other social media platform, thank you.

[drive-pdfs-and-stuff]

Hello! This is a blog primarily focused on making animal books (mainly Xenofiction) more accessible to those who can't get them legally (or don't want to support the creators)

I've made two separate drives that contain A LOT of pdfs of said books, such as Warrior Cats, Wings of Fire, Ratha's Creature, Watership Down, Survivors and many more you can see on this list

You can ask for the links through messages or comments!

More details about this under the cut!

Why not share the drives here?

Well, the last time I saw someone do that, the links got taken down, so instead I'll be sharing them through DMs!

Also, don't be shy to ask any questions.

There are two drives, the Main Books drive, and the Mature Books drive (which is mostly still a work in progress)

Please, specify if you want access to the mature books drive, and only ask for it if you're 18 years old or older, I will be checking if you have your age/age range in bio, if you don't have it, you can also say you're an adult when asking for it. (It's not a foolproof system, I know, but It's not like I want to ask for personal details)

The main drive has books that range from Family friendly to other series with an age rating of +13 or +15.

(I usually censor slurs before uploading the PDFs, but this time around, because of my own triggers, I haven't checked the contents of them and left the books the same as they were upon release, including slurs) (just because I left them intact, does not mean I agree with the usage of said words in the context of the books, which is why I added warnings for each slur in a document inside the drive) (I've personally censored every slur I've found in the books of the main drive, however)

The mature books drive has animal books that have a lot of content not appropriate for minors, such as animals going into heat cycles, uncensored slurs and a lot of other dark topics (like SA, for example). (Just because there's animal heat scenes doesn't mean that I condone the enjoyment of said scenes, if I see someone claiming to be zoophile wanting access to the drive, they will be blocked on sight) (This is not a safe space for anyone attracted to animals in such ways)

Some gross people have already asked me for the link to the mature drive, if more people like them keep asking for it i WILL DELETE IT.

For reference, this drive has books like Ratha's Creature and One for Sorrow, Two for Joy.

ALL BOOKS IN BOTH DRIVES HAVE A DOCUMENT LISTING ALL TRIGGER AND CONTENT WARNINGS FOR EACH SERIES.

The trigger warnings were sourced from book reviews and pages focused on giving content warnings.

Here are other questions you may have:

Can I share the link once I have it?

Yes! As long as you don't share it in public internet spaces (comments, public posts, open discord servers with huge amounts of people) it should be fine. I would love to make it public, however I also don't want it to get taken down minutes after sharing, which is why I'm limiting it to private links.

Can I take the PDFs from the drive and use them on my own drive?

Of course! The entire point of this is to make these books more accessible! Take whatever you need from here!

Have a nice reading! I will keep giving out the links for as long as this post is still up (or gets taken down or something happens to me lol)

[melobin]

hello !!

so it’s been brought o my attention that over the past few weeks an account has practically been spreading hate about @01zfan without directly tagging her. i’ll post the screenshots with the dates the posts were posted underneath the read more.

i understand that people may look at me and accuse me of being an ot6, just like they have before and at this point im not bothered? i know im an ot7 and the people i care about do. i got into riize just before they debuted and i’ve always loved and supported seunghan, but i’ll support my friends more if they’re being unfairly attacked over him.

at the end of the day we all want the same thing for seunghan and spreading hate about people and calling them “closeted ot6’s” isn’t going to get shit. ninona has explained on countless occasions why she doesn’t write for seunghan and i respect her for it, i understand it. she’s never spoke badly about him nor has wished for him to not return. whilst this is something we would have wanted to speak to the blog about, their asks and their replies are turned off and it only makes me think they don’t want to deal with the consequences of what they’re doing. it’s a shame i care more about the well being of a friend than the cowardliness of a blog actively posting hate about them.

@ohmark dawg this isn’t the way to go about getting seunghan back and you know it. you’re unnecessarily spreading hate about blogs who have never spoke ill of seugnhan, you’re “closeted ot6” theory seems more like paranoia that people don’t like him when they have stated they do. we would have left you be if you simply posted hating on sm and wishing for his return but instead you dedicated your blog to spreading hate about other blogs and that’s not something i’ll ever be able to stand for.

please continue under the read more. i love you all forever and i appreciate you taking the time to read this. please don’t send anyone hate over this, i just feel as if people need to be aware of what’s going on and the hate that’s being spread.

8th august

personally, from the opinion of a ot7 riize writer, i literally see nothing wrong with this. even i struggle with headcanoning seunghan. in another ask ohmark stated that they don’t understand that mentality because it’s fanfiction and you cannot portray them in an accurate light but what they fail to understand is that what we write, when we write for these idols we base it off of their personalities, something we’re slowly seeing more of from riize overtime. something we didn’t get a lot of with seunghan. i’ll be the first to admit it’s miles easier to write for the other members because i feel as if i know more about them. it’s not about knowing them personally, it’s simply just about knowing things about them and we don’t know half as much about seunghan as we do for the other members.

even now she gets asks asking why she doesn’t write for him, she’s gotten countless hate asks that she’s deleted wishing death upon her, insulting her writing and being racist towards her.

this ask was sent just a few hours before ohmark had posted a screenshot of her reasoning for not writing for seunghan. what’s the need? even if she did state she didn’t like seunghan, why spread so much hate? if you dislike something so much, just block the person it’s not difficult at all. nothing about this is okay at all, it never has been and it never will be. i think it’s utterly fucking disgusting if you ask me!

last night they posted this, most likely due to the instagram upload that was posted by instagram. it’s upsetting seeing him being left out of their milestones but this? this isn’t it.

20th august

they could have either not added the @ 01zfan. the post would have been find without it, i would’ve respected it and if it came up on my dash i would have interacted with it. but they had to ruin it by being unnecessarily hateful toward two individuals who has nothing to do with seunghan’s hiatus or his return.

bonus !! not to mention people who active follow and reblog ninona’s things are also reblogging hate posts about her which is insane to me … you’re either against her for choosing not to write for seugnhan or you like her … reblogging a fic and following ninona yet reblogging hate about her is crazy.

[a-killer-obsession]

🔞 Minors DNI 🔞

A search for a rumored Vegapunk weapon leads the Kid Pirates to an unexpected new crewmate, with a bloodlust that rivals their own and an incredible power.

CW: Please check AO3 for all current warnings, but general warning for smut, slow burn, serious gore, and really dark themes. AFAB reader, she/her pronouns.

Masterlist || AO3 || Chapter 1

Chapter 37 - Breaking Point, Side B

The same day, from a different perspective.

Word Count: ~3.5k

Taglist: @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @tremendoushorsepatrolgoth @iggy5055 @eyes-ofhell

A/N: This chapter relies heavily on remembering the events of the last two chapters, so maybe give them a quick re-read if you need to before reading this one. It's sort of a fill in the gaps kind of chapter. Sorry everyone who saw the accidental upload, that must have been really confusing whoops

[Last Night]

Vivre cards in hand, Kid, Heat and Wire's heavy boots hit the docks and they spread to form a small triangle. It was something Double had taught them, using three vivre to triangulate where they were pointing, making for a more accurate direction and less need to keep checking, ideal for a windy day like this where they couldn't just continuously watch it move. They each used their second hand to protect the small pieces of paper from the wind while they watched the pieces bounce and move, before closing their palms and pointing in the direction the paper moved.

“Fuck,” Wire looked at where they were headed, “I scouted the whole island when we landed, whole place is formed like a dinner plate on a tilt. Right now we're at the bottom edge, but at the top edge is just a sheer fucking drop down a cliff. That's where she is, I have no doubt”

Heat looked at the paper in his hand, a small flicker of embers starting to eat away at the page. “Boss, her card is burning,” he reported in a panicked tone.

“She's gonna jump,” Wire realised.

“GO!” Kid shouted, and Wire was moving. Having the longest legs on the crew meant that he was the fastest, rivalled only by Killer's speed. Kid and Heat were tall and fast, but they had nothing on Wire's long legs.

The two of them were left in the dust as Wire moved, cutting through the sleepy town to where he had seen the trail that led to the cliffside. He had to bend as he passed the edge of the forest, it was near pitch black and the path was only cleared to account for the height of a normal person, not his eight foot ass. He didn't have enough light or time to concentrate on avoiding branches, so he ran with his chest low in much the same way Killer did during fights.

His strained breath hitched as the cliff came into view, your lilac hair billowing in the wind as you stood at the very edge, one small step from jumping. He was reaching for you immediately, yanking you away from the edge as soon as his hands found purchase in your baggy shirt and falling to his knees to beg you to reconsider.

“You've got another thing coming if you think I'm gonna support you or that baby on the ship!” Kid called, as Heat carried you and your new baby away from the cliffs. “Stay on this fucking island for all I care! You're nothing but a worthless whore, nothing but a life ruiner! We were all perfectly happy before you came on board and fucked everything up!”

Heat stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to Kid, and Wire's brows almost hit his hairline as he saw the raw determination and rebellion on his usually passive friend's face. “She doesn't need you, or Killer, she has me,” he spat, “and I'll burn the whole fucking ship down before I let you touch her or her baby. You wanna get rid of her? You can say goodbye to me too then”

The two of them watched Heat disappear into the forest with you and the baby, and there was a long silence, buffered only by the howling winds, the crashing waves behind them, and Kid's heavy breaths as he tried to calm himself.

“You shouldn't have said that,” Wire finally spoke, breaking the tense silence. Kid turned to him with an expression that read as fury, but quickly fell to regret and guilt.

“No, I shouldn't have,” he admitted, “really fucked that one up.”

Wire's brows raised as a small sniff came from the redhead, and when he looked at Kid he saw the glimmering wet trail of the tears running down his face, catching the early sunlight as he looked out to the ocean. The two of them had known each other a long time, but Wire had never had to comfort him before, that wasn't his place, that was Killer's job. The taller man didn't know what to do, so he just put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

“It's all falling apart,” Kid sniffed, “I'm such a shitty fucking captain, I should have made her get rid of the fucking baby before they got attached. Or, I don't know, fuckin’ chained her to the bed to keep her out of the battle. Now Killer's a fucking mess, Heat and Yin are leaving, and there's a fucking box of baby ashes on my fucking desk. What the fuck am I supposed to do, Wire?”

“Heat and Yin will come around,” Wire sighed, “you just gotta give them some space. And then you've gotta apologise, show her you care, find a way to show them both that you support her choice. I know it's not Killer's baby but we all know what being an orphan is like, that baby won't survive without her, we can't just leave it to die, or rely on the fucking Marines to do right by it. I don't think this island even has an orphanage, half the town is starving as it is. Just focus on Kil for now, we gotta get him stable. Even if it means using force, he's too much of a danger to himself right now”

“Okay,” Kid relented, shakey on his feet, exhausted from being up all night and the desperate run across the island.

“Let's just go get some sleep for now,” Wire insisted, “we'll figure it out tomorrow”

Kid just replied with a sleepy nod and let Wire lead him back to the forest trail.

Kid made an annoyed groan as he rolled over, heavy with sleep and craving for more, but at the mercy of the loud knocking at his door.

“Cap’ wake up, it's Killer,” a panicked voice came from the other side. Like a lightning bolt Kid shot up, pants hastily slapped on, metal arm pulled to his stump, door opening in a flurry of wind to reveal a very concerned and tired Mohawk. “He's in the infirmary, I can't calm him”

Kid nodded and made an affirming grunt before power walking across the ship, manic laughter and the sounds of wood and glass and metal being thrown around getting closer with every step. The infirmary door was thrown open, revealing the Massacre Soldier, blood dripping from his injured and bruised hands, curled in on himself, his shoulders heaving from the laughter and the heavy panicked breaths he was taking. His mask was off, thrown somewhere in the chaos, an unnerving smile on his face, his eyes blown out from rage and bloodlust and fear. Not a single piece of furniture in the room was in the right place or in the right orientation, glass and medications and tools scattered all over the floor, every reflective surface shattered, cabinet doors ripped right off their hinges laying haphazardly on the floor. Kid didn't give Killer a moment to react or flee, he'd learned his lesson over the last few days, this mania was different. A hug wasn't going to do it right now, he was beyond fucked up.

Kid gathered every piece of metal in the room with his fruit, using them to form a vice around Killer as the manic man ran right at him, his body falling to the floor like a downed tree as the metal caught his limbs and forced him to stop. His head hit the floor with a crack, still laughing even with his face pressed to the floor, tears streaming from his face as he struggled to break free of the tight metal swaddle with no success.

“Boss,” Mohawk said, though asking permission.

“Do it,” Kid replied, his boot on Killer's back to keep him from rocking back and forth. It pained him so much, watching his best friend suffer like this, having to use such force to stop him, but the man was out of control and Kid had already done everything he could without taking it this far.

Mohawk scrambled around the room, glass crunching under boot, struggling to find what he needed between the destroyed supplies. Finally he found what he was looking for and he kneeled at the blond man's side. He found a vein on the back of his calloused hand, injecting him with a clear fluid before removing the needle, replacing it with another, and injecting something else. Killer stopped fighting, the energy being drained from him as the sedative took effect, the laughter dying down as his breathing steadied and he came back down to earth. He looked up at Kid with pleading eyes, the smile wiped from his face, his fluffy hair sticking in strands to the tears and sweat on his face. Convinced he no longer had to restrain Killer, he let the various metals fall, kneeling at his side to support his head, which was quickly growing heavy. His eyelids twitched as Kid looked at him, flickering as he fought to keep them open, still looking up at Kid with eyes that spoke of betrayal and fear, but also relief.

“I've got you Kil,” Kid cooed, pushing the stray strands of blond from his tanned face, “just rest now, okay?”

“‘m sor-ry,” Killer's voice was strained and slurred, all his concentration going in to pushing the words out, fighting the pull of sleep, “tel-l her, ‘m sor-ry”

“I know you are Kil,” Kid assured, “you can tell her yourself when you're better okay? Just rest now.”

Tears were rolling silently down Kid's cheeks as he watched his friend fall unconscious on the infirmary floor, a single sob escaping him as he pulled Killer into his lap. Mohawk knew better than to comment, he just stood silently, letting Kid get the emotions out. It'd been a rough week, for everyone on the ship, and the usually strong and tough captain was no exception, he wasn't immune to the pain of loss and heartache.

“How long will he be out?” He finally sniffed, wiping his tears with his flesh hand.

“Few hours,” the doctor replied, breathing a sigh of relief that the tense moment had passed and he could finally move. “I gave him a heavy dose of his meds as well, so he shouldn't have another episode for a few days, but I'm not happy he stopped taking the meds in the first place. I don't want to say it, but I think he needs to be supervised, till we know hes stable”

“I'll make sure he takes them,” Kid nodded, “hand me his helm”

Mohawk gathered the discarded striped mask from where it had been thrown in the corner, handing it to Kid like a sacred item. The captain carefully slipped it back over Killer's face, knowing he'd have to remove it again for comfort once he had the blond settled in his bed, but wanting his face covered for the journey in case anyone was awake and wandering. Killer was entirely muscle, and Kid was maybe the only man on the ship who could carry him, letting the mechanics of his metal arm do most of the work for him as he lifted the limp first mate and stood.

“Have the henchies clean this after breakfast,” Kid said, Mohawk rushing to open the doors for him. “And make a list of everything that needs replacing, I'll pay for it myself”

Kid was asleep at Killer's side when he woke up in the captain's quarters, his own room was trashed so the redhead no doubt thought it better to bring him here. The man in question made soft snores, laying next to Killer in only his boxers, his good arm draped over Killer's front protectively. Killer felt heavy from sleep, but better. For the first time in days he could hear himself think, and fuck were the thoughts that came unpleasant.

He'd fucked up, he'd fucked up bad. Everything Heat had said was true. He was selfish, he'd abandoned you, he'd treated you like all you were good for was bearing him a child. After all you'd been through, everything you'd suffered, the months of hard work it took to make you feel safe and get you to open up, and he had to go and put his fucking boot in his mouth and fuck it all up.

Yes, his baby was dead. Yes, he was fucking heartbroken, and angry, and full of hatred for the world. But in his blind rage he'd misplaced his anger. This wasn't your fault, you hadn't done anything but exist in a world that only ever worked against you. You were mourning the loss just as much as he was, no, you were mourning it even more, because you'd lost more than he could even fathom. And where was he? Refusing to take his meds and breaking shit, when he should have been there holding your hand. His heart had shattered into a million tiny pieces when Heat said you'd tried to kill yourself, and he was right, that blood would have been on Killer's hands, because he wasn't there when he should have been, when you needed him.

And then there was the new baby, fuck. In all this pain and heartbreak, you'd found yourself with an orphaned child, innocent in all this, delicate and new to the world, and that responsibility had been so suddenly thrust into your already fragile hands. You must be so scared right now, he thought, thinking you had nowhere safe to call home, rejected by the person who was supposed to love you the most, with the terrifying responsibility of keeping another human alive. Heat said they were leaving, and he was glad you at least had him to help you, but it should have been Killer that was there. Your whole world had been thrown into a spin cycle and he wasn't there to hold you steady.

He would fix this, he thought, he couldn't lose you, not again. He would show you he cared, even if it meant accepting a baby that wasn't his while he still mourned the loss of his own. That child was dead, he couldn't bring him back, all he could do was focus on the living, on the future. And if he convinced you to take him back, maybe he could learn to love this child as his own. Or he'd at least pretend to, whatever it took to keep you from leaving him again. He needed you back, he needed you to love him, to forgive him for his transgressions, for his betrayals. He didn't know how to go on living in this cruel, fucked up world without you.

His mind set, he slid out from under Kid's arm. The redhead was a heavy sleeper, he'd probably be out for hours before he noticed Killer was gone. The first mate was wobbly on his feet, his head still heavy from sedation, but he fought through it, splashing water on his face in Kid's bathroom before pulling on his mask and setting to work.

Kid awoke with a panic, feeling around the empty space on the mattress and realising Killer was gone. Fuck fuck fuck was all he could think as he jumped out of the bed and pulled on his dirty pants from yesterday. He could hear furniture being moved, but the absence of manic laughter was at least reassuring as he followed the sound. He stood in Killer's open door for a moment. The room was surprisingly clean, broken furniture already either mended or removed, the floor swept, the bed made with military accuracy. Killer met his eyes through the holes in his mask as he approached the door, an armful of his own clothes in his hand.

“Move, please,” he politely requested, as Kid blocked the entrance to his room.

“Kil, what are you doing?” The redhead replied with concern.

“Fixing my fuck up,” he sighed, pushing Kid out of the way. Kid followed him curiously to your old room, where he dumped the clothes on the bed to add to the growing pile, before returning to his own room. Your room was noticeably empty of personal belongings, half of your stuff was already in Killer's room, moved over the last few months, but Heat had packed the rest this morning.

“By moving your shit to her room?” Kid questioned, “I don't understand”

“She can't fit a crib in that closet,” Killer replied matter-of-factly, collecting more things and repeating the process, “so I'm giving her my room”

“Kil, I don't get it,” Kid scratched his head, “can't you just apologise, surely she'll see the logic in staying with you”

“I'm not forcing her to do that,” he huffed, “I fucked up, Kid, she's not just gonna take me back overnight. If I force her back into my bed she'll either refuse and be gone for good, or she'll never stop resenting me. I'm giving her the space to come back without that pressure.” Killer paused and looked at his friend, a deep sigh coming from under the mask, “I need her back, Kid. I can't just sail away and forget about her, I'm in too deep”

“And what about the baby?” He asked, “you just gonna let her keep it?”

“That's not up to me, but if she wants to keep it I'm gonna support whatever she wants, whatever it takes to get her to stay,” Killer continued on his mission, “if the universe doesn't want me to have a kid, fine, whatever, I'm a bastard of a man, I probably don't deserve to have a kid. But she's better than me, and she has an opportunity here to still be a mother, despite how much the universe fought to take our baby from us. I'm not going to destroy her chance at happiness. She's suffered enough already”

“And what about… your baby?” Kid sighed.

“I'm not going to pretend I'm not grieving,” Killer stilled for a moment, “my heart is broken, but it'll never mend if I don't at least have her in my life. Like Heat said, miscarriages happen. I blamed her when I should have been blaming fate. I can't do anything to bring back my dead son but I can sure as hell do everything in my power to make sure the woman I love doesn't follow him to the grave”

“About that,” Kid shifted anxiously, an unspoken secret weighing heavy on his mind, “neither of you would come see him buried, and the rest of us just didn't feel like that was right, so I had the crew build a pyre instead.” Killer stood and looked at him, trying to absorb the meaning in Kid's words. “He's… uh… he's on my desk, for when you both feel ready to see him off together, however long that takes,” Kid continued, his eyes flashing with a spark of recognition as he remembered something, “and I made you these.”

Kid pulled two chains from his pocket and held them up for Killer to inspect. At the end of each chain was a pendant, a simple, flat teardrop shape with small black flecks in a random scattered pattern embedded into silver metal. “I infused the metal with his ashes, so you can each keep a piece of him”

“Kid..” Killer's voice cracked, the emotionally shattered man taking the pendants carefully in his hands.

“They're blank right now, I didn't know if you named him, but if, or when you have a name, I'll engrave it,” he added, carefully watching Killer as he silently looked at the jewellery. “Take em, Kil. Give her one when you go apologise”

“I… I don't know what to say,” Killer sniffed, a tear appearing under his mask and rolling down his neck to wet his shirt. “I thought he was gone. That I fucked up at even saying goodbye to him”

“I know you, Kil,” Kid forced the necklaces into his hand and held his own over Killer's as he wrapped the first mate's fingers around the jewellery. “You weren't in the right headspace, and I knew you'd regret it if we buried him without you, and I'm sure she's feeling the same. I'll keep him safe in my room, till you're both ready, however long that takes, then we'll let him join the sea. The currents will carry him, he'll travel further than we ever dreamed. Hell, maybe he'll reach Laughtale before we do”

Killer collapsed in a mess of sobs, and Kid was quick to catch him, holding his friend tight and pulling off his mask so he could press his face to Kid's chest unhindered. They stayed there for however long it took Killer to calm, Kid's bare chest wet with Killer's tears, and Killer's hair wet with the captain's, rocking back and forth till they finally found solace in their collective grief.

[NEXT CHAPTER]

[halsteadlover]

Shadows From The Past

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested by anon: I don’t really know if this is how you make a request if it’s not correct me but would you possibly be able to write one where Jay has an episode because of a criminal that took tours in Afghanistan as well, like an episode in the show in season 5 I think. Where the criminal gets shot and dies and J is the only one there and you go to check up on him and he points gun at you because he’s having an episode idk I really don’t know, but could it end in him apologizing a lot and feeling really bad then just cuddles?? Thank u and uh if you see this could you pls just remind me when it’s done possibly. Thank you so much!!!❤️

• Warnings: mention of blood, gun, PTSD.

• Word count: 5825.

• A/N: hi everyone! Long time no see. I know this is ugly af but I tried my best. I hope you’ll like this piece anyway, please let me know what you think. Comment, like, reblog if you want this would be amazing! Thank you so much for your support, and for everyone who stayed even if I upload once every 100 years 😭 I love you all so much ❤️

Jay had always tried to do his job the best he could, giving everything in his power to every case he worked on, always trying to focus on nothing but bringing justice to the poor victims. He had always tried to be as objective as possible, leaving emotions out and thinking and planning every move to make lucidly. Some cases were easier, others a little less.

There were moments of his life, some shadows of his past, that still echoed in his present. They sometimes came back so strong and overbearing, they made him risk his present, all his progress and happiness, even his future.

And the case he was working on was one of those moments.

Following the discovery of a man's body, Intelligence was assigned to investigate this case. After questioning witnesses, analyzing the victim's life, talking to family and friends, suspicion fell on a person Jay met while serving overseas in Afghanistan. In fact, Don Stanton had served in the 3rd Battalion of the 75th Ranger Regiment at the same time as Jay, but he had never had the opportunity to speak in depth with him.

In fact, after returning home, Don didn't do too well, soon spiraling into drug, alcohol and illegal dealings.

From the moment they found out about this suspect, Jay felt something stir inside him, though he didn't know exactly what. He tried to disguise it or he would’ve estranged from the case but he couldn't hide his feelings from you, who knew him like the back of your hand and had learned to know every single nuance of him and recognize when something bothered him.

To try to get Don to confess, Jay offered to go undercover, build a relationship with him in a way that would make him trust him, and no one could be perfect for this role except someone who had gone through the exact same shit during the war as Jay.

It goes without saying that you didn’t agree with this decision at all and Voight would’ve even agreed with you if this wasn’t the only lead you got to catch the killer.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked Jay as you adjusted his hidden microphone in his shirt. “You can always back out, someone else will go or we will find other leads to catch him.”

Jay sighed. “It's an undercover operation like any other Y/N, if anyone can do it it's me.”

You looked up at him, your hands still on his chest as you tried to analyze his expression on his face. “No baby, it's not an operation like any other. The suspect served in your own battalion, you met him and you can tell from a mile away you're upset about…-”

“Goddamn Y/N stop it! You've been asking me if I'm okay since this morning! I'm fine, I don't need a babysitter!” he snapped raising his voice and this sudden outburst made you withdraw your hands in shock.

Jay immediately regretted those words the instant he said them. He noticed the sad expression that appeared on your features and felt guilty like few other times in his life. “Baby… Shit…” he sighed again, running his hands over his face in frustration. He cupped your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I don't know what has gotten into me. I’m sorry baby.”

You remained silent for a few seconds, looking at him for a moment before speaking. “Jay I'm just worried about you, I know it's hard for you but I want to help you… It breaks my heart seeing you like this,” you mumbled softly, your throat tight in a knot, your heart heavy.

“I know, I know, I’m so sorry love. Come here,” he whispered, pulling you into a hug and holding you with all the love he could. “It'll be okay. I can do it. You don't know what people like him are like, like me, he won't trust anyone and if there's someone who can make him confess it’s me. We served together, we saw the same crap, I can understand him,” he continued, pulling away from the hug and looking into your eyes.

You looked at him intensely, as if you wanted to read inside him, trying to discover a shred of hesitation or uncertainty.

“Jay, you are not like him, he is an alleged murderer, drug addict and alcoholic, you are a decorated detective. Don't even think for a second you're like him, okay?”.

He caressed your hair, and then nodded, smiling slightly. “I know, I know.”

“If something, anything, goes wrong you're out, you understand me?” you threatened him, pointing a finger at his chest.

He chuckled, caressing your cheeks. “Yes ma'am. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

If only he believed it too.

The truth was, Jay's mind was racing and image after image, memory after memory, everything seemed to be resurfacing, moments of the past he wanted to forget at all costs but which was about to overwhelm him like a river in flood.

He didn't want to talk to you about it, he knew he'd get over it – just like he had all time – he didn't want to worry you any more than you already were.

While he was in the car waiting for Don Stanton to show up, he read the message you sent and a small smile crept onto his lips.

From Baby D💕, 3.13pm

Be careful love. I'm here for whatever you need. I love you.

That message made the abyss in his heart grow and a feeling of guilt took over him. But the way he loved you, God, he didn’t know what he would’ve done without you.

From Jay, 3:16pm

I love you too babe, more than anything and everyone. Everything will be okay.

He put the cell phone back in his trouser pocket, trying to concentrate exclusively on the case. He sat in the car for about ten minutes before seeing Don in the distance. He looked around suspiciously before approaching Jay's car and quickly getting in.

“Drive,” Don ordered, and Jay gave him a confused look.

“Where? What is going on?”.

Don snapped his eyes at Jay. “Didn't you say you wanted a job? Drive then. Go straight, at the first crossroads turn left, I'll tell you from there where to go next.”

Jay understood there was no way to get an explanation and after letting out a sigh, he started driving, aware that you and the rest of the team would’ve followed him from afar.

After driving for about twenty minutes, he and Don arrived at an abandoned building. It looked shabby and it must’ve been unused for at least twenty years.

“What the hell is going on Stanton?” Jay asked, for the umpteenth time. Don stopped in his footsteps, turning to him, looking annoyed and angry.

“What part of ‘I'll explain in a moment’ you don’t understand?”.

“I won’t do anything until you explain to me what hell is going on. This place is clearly a mile away from legality and I'm not risking my ass for whatever bullshit is going on here. So either tell me what's going on or I'm out.”

Don sighed, glancing between Jay and the building, looking uncertain, even almost frightened. Jay noticed this and realized whatever was going on, they weren't alone and that there was nothing good about that abandoned building.

He approached Jay, walking fast and hands in his trouser pockets. “Then leave.”

“C'mon man talk to me...”.

“Damn it! I'm in deep shit man, I can't back out!” he exclaimed in despair.

“Why? What did you do?”.

They were all at the edge of their chairs as they listened through Jay's microphone conversation, knowing that a little nudge was enough to get Don Stanton to confess.

“Don, talk to me. I can help you, I know you're not doing well, I totally understand. You don't have to do anything, whatever it is...”

“You can't help me… I… I fucking killed a man!” Stanton exclaimed loudly, running his hands through his hair “But it wasn't my fault! They forced me! I… I really needed the money…”

There were some moments of silence in which you and Voight exchanged a look. He confessed, but why didn't Jay arrest him?

“What are we going to do here Don?” Jay asked, trying to stay calm as his heart was pounding.

“They gave me another job. A gang member… They want me to kill him and they’ll pay me almost ten thousand dollars.”

“Don, for fucks sale! No life is worth this money! How can you do this? You were a fucking soldier, you risked your life to protect others, to protect this country and now you're the one hurting people!” Jay exclaimed, more angrily than he would’ve liked.

“I know! I know! They've foreclosed on my house… I'm out of money… I need it man…” Don muttered.

“Halstead what are you waiting for? Handcuff him,” Voight ordered over his mic but Jay didn't seem to listen, in fact, he didn't even seem to be on this planet anymore.

You were worried sick, your stomach was in a vice. You knew Jay couldn't do this, he was too involved to be able to deal with all of this, to deal with his past.

“Voight we have to do something,” you said, turning to your now impatient boss.

“Let's just wait few seconds.”

But when you saw Jay enter the building your heart stopped for an instant and fear took over. Before Voight could say anything, you leapt out of the car at lightning speed, waiting for no one, thinking of no one but Jay.

You pulled out your gun from your holster before entering the abandoned building. It was larger than it appeared externally and at first sight there was no sign of Jay.

Your heart was beating so hard you could hear it pounding in your ears and with every step you took, fear ate you more and more. What the hell was he thinking? Why did he come in here alone with a criminal?

As you climbed the creaking stairs to the first floor, a shot rang out from the walls and you jumped. “Oh my god,” you murmured in a trembling voice before starting to run as fast as possible towards the place where the shot came from. Your mind began to project images of Jay lying in a pool of his own blood, dying, and the very thought made you die inside.

God let him be okay, please.

Once you climbed to the third floor, however, you saw him in the distance but before you could take a step towards him or even take a sigh of relief, a bullet was fired in your direction, forcing you to take cover behind a pillar.

A gun fight with some men ensued, and though you knew you had to focus on saving your own life, you couldn't help but glance at Jay from time to time, noticing him hunched over Don Stanton, trying to revive him.

The rest of the squad arrived at that moment and you managed to take down three men who were shooting at you. You approached Jay while the others explored the rest of the building for anything suspect.

“Jay,” you called but he didn't seem to hear you as he tried to stop Stanton's bleeding, “Jay,” you called him out again but still nothing, no answer. So you placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to make him aware of your presence but that touch made him stiffen and you almost had a heart attack when he pulled out his gun and turned, pointing it at you.

“Woah!” you exclaimed loudly, spontaneously raising your hands to let him know you were unarmed, “Jay, what the hell are you doing?!”.

His gaze was fixed on you but he wasn't really looking at you, his eyes were empty, without the light that characterizes them, his forehead was wet with sweat as his chest rose and fell quickly as if he had run a marathon.

“Jay put that gun down. It's just me. Can you hear me? Everything is fine.”

You continued to speak but your voice reached far into his ears which continued to ring incessantly. You didn't dare take a wrong step, or try to get him to put down his gun because you knew Jay wasn't there right now, that his mind was unconscious and his body uncontrollable. He was still in war and he saw you like an enemy and not his girlfriend.

But that didn't make the moment any less scary.

Jay, the person you most trusted in the world, with whom you felt safest, was pointing a gun at you and anything could trigger him to shoot you. You've never felt so small and helpless, even after facing the most dangerous and depraved criminals, you felt so scared and intimidated.

He'd had similar episodes, where the PTSD made him lose touch with reality, but he'd never come to that, never pointing a gun at you and threatening to hurt you.

“Jay!” you almost screamed and only then did Jay seem to come to his senses.

When he realized he was pointing his gun at you a wave of guilt fully overwhelmed him and he dropped the gun from his hands in disbelief at what he had just done.

What the hell had he been up to? Was he really point a gun at you? The love of his life?

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe he was capable of doing such a thing and as he watched your face contorted in an expression of pure fear and terror, as he watched you back away until you ran away, he realized he seriously needed help.

-

The case was finally closed but never like then it left you an unbridgeable abyss inside you.

Since you'd left that building you'd been trying to avoid Jay even though he'd been trying hard to talk to you. You knew it wasn't his fault, that what happened was just a consequence of everything he'd been through, that knowingly he wouldn't do anything that could hurt you.

But that episode had shocked you more than you could ever admit and the image of that gun pointed at you continued to haunt your mind.

You were at your house, sitting on the couch staring at nothing in particular, contemplating whether to respond to Jay's many texts and calls. You knew you had to talk to him, you couldn't avoid him forever, but you needed some alone time first, to digest everything that had happened.

But when the bell rang you understood this was not going to happen.

You stood up and your heart skipped a beat when you saw through the peephole it was Jay. You took a deep breath and opened the door, realizing you couldn't avoid him forever and sooner or later you had to deal with the confrontation.

Jay was a walking disaster.

He didn't know what to say, what to do, how to act and especially when he noticed the way you kept avoiding his gaze, he panicked even more. You made room for him to enter and he felt his heart break when, in an attempt to say hi, you pulled back slightly.

“Uhm… Hi… Come in,” you murmured nervously before going to sit back on the sofa.

Jay closed the door behind him, walking over and sitting next to you. You brought your knees to your chest and he didn’t miss this gesture, he didn't miss the way you tried to distance yourself from him, how you tried to protect yourself by moving away from him.

“How are you feeling?” you asked feebly, finally looking up at him and a chasm opened inside you as you saw his tired, destroyed eyes, the melancholy expression on his face.

“I'm fine but...”

“No Jay,” you interrupted him “Don't start with these lies, you know I can't stand them. You pointed a damn gun at me, you are definitely not fine.”

You knew it was tough, but it was time for him to face the shadows of his past that kept haunting him, it was time for him to face reality and realize he wasn't good at all, that he kept lying to himself and pretending to be in a state of well-being which, unfortunately, wasn’t true at all.

He sighed and it was him who lowered his gaze that time, unable to look in your eyes anymore. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his jeans before resting his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. He was silent for a moment before returning to his previous position.

“You're right…” he murmured, almost afraid to admit it aloud, “I… I'm not okay I know, I’ve realized it… But Y/N, darling, I just want you to know I would’ve never done that… I would never hurt you…”

“Jay…” you sighed “I know that, but… But what if you won't regain control of yourself next time? What if you won’t come to your senses and shoot me?”

“No! No! Fuck… This will never happen again, I swear…”

“And how do you know this, Jay?” you asked, a lump in your throat, eyes brimming with tears as you tried to hold them back. “How do you know you’ll be able to stop the next time that in the grip of a similar episode you’ll point a gun at me again?”.

Jay had never experienced a worse feeling in his life. He always promised himself he would given his life to protect you, that he’d do everything in his power to keep you safe, that he’d rather die than know you were suffering.

He loved you more than anyone else in the world, more than he ever thought he’d love someone and knowing he was the one who tried to hurt you, destroyed him. He’d never forget the expression of fear, terror and pure shock with which you looked at him in that damned building, it would’ve haunted him forever.

“I would never hurt you Y/N, you… You are the most precious thing in my life. God, I'd die to protect you…” he babbled in desperation.

“I know, Jay. I consciously know this,” you answered, putting your feet on the ground and approaching him without touching him. “I want to help you, but...”

“But what?” he whispered, his green eyes bright with tears as he looked at you. A tear slid from your eyes onto your cheek but you immediately wiped it away before you spoke again. “You want to leave me right? You are afraid of me?”.

You remained silent for a moment.

“Y/N I… You can't leave me please, I can't do this without you, I need you. You're the only person I'm still here for, helping me through this shit… Please…”

You cried. “I have to protect myself Jay,” you wiped away another tear “I don't want to leave you, God. I love you so much…”

“But you're afraid of me,” he stated, swallowing the lump in his throat. He looked down at the floor and his shoes to try and mask the tears he couldn't control anymore and streamed down his cheeks. He stood up, suddenly feeling suffocated, and ran his hands over his face as he began pacing around the living room.

“Hey…” you said, standing up and approaching him. You placed your hands on his arms to make him stop and he directed his eyes at you. They were red and shiny from tears and God only knew how much it hurt you to see him like this, how much he didn't deserve all that suffering.

You placed your hands on his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. “God baby,” you whispered “I hate seeing you like this…”. He hugged you, squeezing you so tight it made you gasp for breath.

You hugged him back, putting your arms around his neck and letting yourself be cradled by that embrace. You stroked his hair while he hid his face in the hollow of your neck, letting go in a desperate and liberating cry.

“It's okay love, it's okay,” you whispered, as you too were crying, “Let's sit down.”

You sat back on the sofa and you hugged him, letting him rest his head on your chest as he let out all the anger – mostly towards himself – and sadness he felt.

“Cry all you want, I'm here. I don't want to leave, I'll always be here with you Jay,” you mumbled, caressing his hair. He wrapped his arms around your chest tighter, as if he was afraid to let you go.

“I'm so sorry my love. I didn't mean to scare you… When…” he sighed “When I realized what I was doing, the way you were looking at me…” he couldn't finish the sentence, because just remembering the expression you had in that moment pushed him over the edge again “God Y/N I will never forgive myself for what I did...” he got up, sitting on the sofa and running a hand through his hair “When I saw your face… That moment I understood I seriously need some help, I don't… I can't risk hurting you, losing you, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to be your safe haven, I don’t want you to doubt for even a second I can intentionally hurt you… I… I don't want you to look me with that terrified and fearful look again... I can't...”

“But I'm not afraid of you Jay, I know you were going through a lot , the case was heavy to deal with…” you tried to comfort him.

“Yes you do,” he smiled at you bitterly, eyes and nose still red from crying “No lies remember? You told me before and even now…” he tried to stop crying but failing “You hugged me and you were tense and the thing is, I can't even blame you… It's only my fault for believing all the shit the war brought me could just go away on its own and I will never be able to forgive myself for how I reacted, in that building, when you were putting my mic...”

“You weren't yourself,” you whispered.

“I know… But I won’t let you to suffer the consequences of what happens to me… But on the other hand I'm too selfish to let you go, I love you too much Y/N and I know if you're not here I… I'll never be able to face this alone.”

“But I don't want you to go through this alone,” you retorted, grabbing his hand with yours and intertwining your fingers as your eyes were on his. “Jay I will never leave you… You’re my whole life and I want to be with you at every step you take, I know it will be hard, I know it isn't easy, I know there is a long way ahead but we’ll do it together. I won't leave you alone… I was just scared in that moment, let's be honest, who wouldn't, but I don't want to abandon you, okay? I just need to know you’ll really, really, try to face these ghosts.”

“Absolutely, I don't want to hurt you anymore…”

“No baby, you don't have to do it for me but for yourself,” you didn't let him finish the sentence “Because you went though what no other human being can go through and you deserve to be happy, to fully live your life, to do your job serenely, you don't deserve to wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares. You are strong, one of the strongest people I know and if there is anyone who can do it, it’s you, love, okay?” you stroked his cheek and he nodded faintly.

“Promise me you'll really try? Not for me though,” you continued as he looked at you with all the love he felt for you. “I can take it, past the fear I know it's not your fault baby, you don't control it. I can't even imagine what you're going through, what you saw over there, anyone who didn’t experience it will never be able to, but I swear Jay I… I would die to give you all the happiness you deserve.”

“You are my happiness,” he retorted and you smiled feebly when you saw him calm down a bit “Tomorrow I’ll look for someone and start doing therapy, I promise I'll do it, for you, for me, for us.”

Your smile grew on your lips. “I know you will. I'm so proud of you.”

“So you won't leave me?” he whispered so softly he almost sounded like a child intimidated by the response he’d receive.

“No baby, never, I swear. I'd take a bullet for you if it means to make you happy.”

“Don’t even joke about that,” he mumbled. He placed his hand on yours which was still on his cheek, then bringing it to his lips and leaving a kiss on the back without his eyes ever leaving yours. “I love you so much Y/N, so fucking much I can't even breathe right now. I don't know what I did to deserve you,” you smiled again “I always want to see you smile like that, God… I can't even explain what you do to me. I… I want to make you happy as much as you make me happy. I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry for everything...”

“Shh, it's okay, it's not your fault I want you to put it in this cute little head. I love you too Jay so much, more than you can ever imagine.”

You stayed on that sofa embraced for and indefinite amount of time, cradled in each other's arms. After some time you managed to get Jay to eat something before letting him take a shower, needless to say he was going to sleep over at your place.

You both got into bed and, due to the exhaustion, the intense emotions experienced that day, it didn't take long for Jay to fall asleep, his head resting on your chest as you held him and hugged him. But you couldn't sleep a wink, the events of that day still clear in your mind.

When Jay woke up in the middle of the night, it didn't take him long to realize you weren't there anymore. He sat up in bed and looked at the time on his cell phone, which read 1:32 in the morning, before getting up and walking towards the living room.

For a fraction of a second he thought he heard a sob but he thought he just imagined it. But when this sobbing sound was accompanied by a sniffling, he knew he didn’t imagine them at all.

He walked quickly to the living room and his heart skipped a beat when, in the dim light, he saw you sitting on the sofa, your knees drawn up to your chest as you cried. He turned on the lights and didn't miss the way you tried - in vain – to quickly dry your tears.

“Y/N… Baby… God, what happened? Are you hurt?” Jay asked after rushing over to you, kneeling right in front of you.

You mentally let out a curse, aware that you wouldn't be able to escape this. “I'm fine,” you replied though, hoping for a nano second he’d buy it.

“Oh baby don't lie to me, you don't cry if you're fine. Please talk to me, are you okay? What happened?” he continued to ask worried. He grabbed a handkerchief from the top of the coffee table and handed it to you, watching you intently as you blew your nose. He sat down next to you and started stroking your hair in an attempt to comfort you.

“Don't worry babe, it's okay. Nothing happened, go back to sleep you're tired.”

“How can you even think I'll leave you here alone?” he said “Wait, I'll go get you a glass of water.”

Before you could object, he was up and in less than no time he returned with a glass of cold water which you drank with pleasure. “You want another one?” he asked and after you mumbled a ‘no’ he took the empty glass from your hands and placed it on the coffee table. “Are you feeling better?”.

You nodded. “Seriously baby, I'm fine, go back to bed.”

“How about you stop lying to me and start telling me the truth? You're making me worry to death love.”

You sighed deeply, feeling the urge to cry coming back. “It's just… It's been a busy day and I needed to vent.”

Jay was silent for a moment, wiping away a single tear that slid down your cheek. “Talk to me baby, I'm here for you.”

You shook your head and then stood up. “No, there is nothing to say. Let's go to sleep, I'm getting tired too.”

“No, we're not going to sleep until you tell me what's going on,” he stood up too, looking at you with such intensity it almost took your breath away. God why did he insist so much, why didn't he just let you cry and forget everything?

“I told you Jay, I was just venting after today.”

“Yes, but it's not only that, I'm sure,” he retorted, taking a step towards you. “Baby don't you trust me? You know you can talk to me about anything, I just want to help you.”

“I-it's not that, of course I trust you.”

“Then talk to me,” he pressed, now on the verge of losing his mind “What...”.

“I don't want to bother you, you already have so much to think about.”

“Y/N I want you to listen to me very carefully now because I won't say it again,” he spoke, placing his hands on your face to force you to look at him. “There is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you, and nothing, I say nothing, is more important than you. You never bother me and never will. You want me to be honest with you, to ask for help, but you have to do it too, you don't have to be afraid to tell me about something it’s bothering you.”

You started crying again and he hugged you, holding you close as he stroked your hair. “It's alright baby, I'm here. Cry all you want, let it go. I won't leave you.”

“It’s just…” you sobbed at a loss for words, letting go as a wave of guilt washed over you. You placed your hands on his bare chest as he continued to hold you.

“Y/N, please, I hate seeing you like this. What are you afraid of? Why don’t you talk to me?” he whispered, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Because I feel guilty,” you answered so feebly you feared he didn’t hear you.

Jay placed two fingers under your chin, forcing you to look at him. “And why’s that?”.

Another sob escaped your lips and at that point you slightly moved away from him, no longer able to hold his gaze, his closeness. You ran your hands over your face and then through your hair, not quite knowing what to say.

“Because I was fucking terrified! And… And I feel guilty because I know what happened wasn't your fault, you weren’t yourself…” you sniffed as the tears continued to flow in rivers, leaving you not even a chance to talk “I know you’d never consciously do anything to hurt me but seeing you point that gun at me… Jay, I…” you sighed “I've faced criminals, murderers, but I've never been so afraid and terrified as today and for a moment I really thought you’d shoot me. The way you looked at me… God I can't get it out of my mind and I'm hating myself because it wasn't your fault…”

Jay stood there attentively listening to every single word you said as every second that passed he felt a part of himself die.

“That's why I didn't want to tell you about this, because I know you’re blaming yourself for everything and you're already going through so much Jay and I don't want to add this other burden on you...” you continued and at that point he approached you again, putting his hands on your cheeks and wiping away the tears with his thumbs as you did with him.

“Y/N…” he said your name as a little prayer “You really think I don’t know that? I know you, I know when something is bugging you, I know when something makes you feel sad. I saw the way you looked at me this whole evening, the way you were tense and I'm so sorry for putting you in this situation my baby. I hate myself so much for this, you didn’t deserve any of that,” he left a soft kiss on your forehead.

“And I love you so fucking much,” he continued “You're willing to suffer alone just to not make me worry but you don't have to. Your feelings are as valid as mine, you have to tell me when you're hurt, when you feel like crying, when you're scared even if I'm the cause. I want to listen to you and do everything in my power to fix what’s hurting you and I promise I will. We have a long way to go, you said it too, but we can't do it unless we're both honest with each other, if we don't express our fears, our apprehensions,” he said wiping away your tears as you did nothing but keep crying “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Y/N, you saved me from a chasm that I am trying hard to climb over, you are my lifeline and I want to be the same for you. I can never apologize enough for what I did today, but I promise I’ll do everything I can to put all that shit behind me. But you need to talk to me, okay? You are so fucking important to me and I'm okay if you're okay. I can't focus on anything else if I don't know you’re happy and to know that I need you to tell me everything that goes through your mind, and I will do the same… Okay baby?”.

You nodded and in response you pressed your lips onto his in a sweet, long-awaited kiss before hugging and squeezing him as if your life depended on it. He was right, God was he right about everything.

He was your everything.

Your sun, the love of your life, the reason for everything.

You were his salvation.

You were the light at the end of a dark tunnel, the first breath of fresh air after being underwater too long. You both knew that even in the most difficult moments you’ll be able to overcome everything and that you could always count on each other in joy, fear and pain.

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[lesbianpizza]

LizzieCon

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Female Reader

Warnings: Daddy kink, dom/sub dynamic, marking, semi public, spit kink, cum strap, fingering, blowjob(R giving), choking, face slapping, spanking(once), brief nipple play, degradation, praise, breeding, allusion to pregnancy kink, pet names (kitten, sweetheart), let me know if I missed any

Word Count: 5075

Summary: You let your jealousy and possessiveness get the best of you at a convention but what happens when your girlfriend has other plans?

A/n: Lol I’ve been talking about uploading something for a long ass time but I’m finally doing it! This is my first time posting something I write so please be nice if it isn’t that good. This story was born when me and @olsenmyolsen saw Lizzie wearing those pants at Comic Con and basically lost our minds😅. They encouraged me to write and actually publish this so here I am!

MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY

You weren’t sure why it happened. You were used to sharing your girlfriend with the world to a certain extent. She was a celebrity after all, so a certain amount of sharing was to be expected. But for some reason it really got to you today. You knew Lizzie would be busy all day at this convention but what you didn't anticipate was the flood of jealousy you would experience seeing her meet so many fans. Not just the way they hugged her and gushed over how much they loved her, but also the way she giggled and hugged them BACK. It was irrational and you knew that, but it didn’t stop that feeling of jealousy to slowly grow as the hours ticked by.

By now it was the second day and Lizzie was still in high spirits, meeting every single fan with a huge smile. You however were less than pleased. You had barely gotten to spend any time with your girlfriend aside from a few measly hours eating and getting ready for bed while strangers hogged all her time and energy. You still tried your best to be supportive and put on a smile because you knew how much she’s come to love events like these over the years and deep down you’d hate for that to change. But you’re no actor and have never been the best at hiding your true emotions, at least not from Lizzie.

She had noticed since yesterday how your mood got progressively worse throughout the day and could see you glaring daggers at every person who went to hug her. She would have said something if she didn’t find it extremely entertaining. And today she had a little plan to put you in your rightful place.

Lizzie was almost done with the first meet and greet of the day and you had just about had enough. It was right around the moment someone asked to take a picture of them proposing to her when you started to see red. If looks could kill, that person would have been obliterated from every timeline in the multiverse. From then on logic played no part in your actions.

The second Lizzie finished up with the last person you barely gave her a moment's notice before you marched up to her, grabbing her hand as you said “Come with me” with smoke practically coming out of your ears. You dragged her to an empty hallway in the back of the convention center to claim what was rightfully yours. You couldn’t see it but Lizzie had a devious smirk plastered on her face because she knew what was coming and she couldn’t wait for her plan to unfold.

As soon as the double doors leading to the hallway closed, you looked around to make sure you were truly alone.

Once you were certain no one else was there, you pushed her up against a wall and whispered a singular word with as much authority as you could muster before your lips met in a bruising kiss, “Mine”.

It was desperate and needy despite the fact that you were trying to show dominance in that moment. You grabbed both of her hands and pinned them above her head as you pulled away from the kiss.

“You’ve been ignoring me all day and I need attention” you said with a little pout, still doing your best to be dominant with her for once.

She looked back at you with an innocent smile. “Aw, is my baby not getting enough attention?” She was aware there was still a small gap between the two of you that had yet to be closed so you truly had no idea what was in store for you.

She leaned her head forward and stopped millimeters from your face. Your heart rate elevated as your breaths now mingled as one.

“Sweetheart, if you wanted my attention that badly, all you had to do was ask” she whispered with a growing smirk. Seeing her expression made you falter, which Lizzie took advantage of. She twisted you around and slammed you face first into the wall holding your hands behind you as if you weighed nothing. It was quick and unforgiving to the point where she knocked the wind out of you a little bit with the sheer force. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t stoke the growing fire within you.

She leaned in until she was pressing you against the wall with her whole body and that’s when you felt it. You weren’t sure how you hadn’t noticed before. Maybe it was because she got dressed in the bathroom today instead of the room like usual. Maybe it was because she chose to wear baggier pants today and you were a little busy glaring at every human being that came in contact with your girlfriend but now it was undeniable. She was packing. You tried your best to suppress a whimper at the feeling, failing to push your ass further into her strap. She leaned in so that her lips were just barely brushing against your right ear.

“That’s what I thought. You’ve been a bad girl today y/n. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your little attitude problem since yesterday. It was cute at first, but now Daddy has to remind you who the fuck is in charge here.” Her grip on your hands tightened significantly with that last sentence as if to further emphasize her point.

“Now, you have two options. You can either apologize and put that pretty mouth to good use, or I can walk away right now and leave y-“

“No please! I’ll do whatever you want just please don’t leave me here!” You whined.

The smack to your ass was swift, delivering an exhilarating sting just painful enough to make you realize your mistake.

“Interrupt me again and that’s exactly what will happen brat” Her tone was harsh which told you she meant every word.

“I’m sorry Daddy it won’t happen again I promise! I’ll do anything you want just please I need you!”

“Anything baby? Can’t say I hate the sound of that” She let go of your hands and spun you in place so that your back was now against the wall and took a step back.

“On your knees slut” She used both hands to push you to the ground until you landed on your knees with a thud. You’d definitely be feeling that later but that didn’t matter now. She unbuttoned her pants in one swift movement and reached down. You could barely contain yourself as she pulled out her cock and you saw which one it was. It had been a while since she used this one and never in a public setting. Sure you’d fooled around in a changing room or two before but never with a strap, much less this one. She looked down at you with a predatory gaze that made your insides quiver as she reached out to grab your hair in a vice grip tugging you slightly forward.

Your scalp stung but all you could focus on was the 7 inch cock right in front of your face. Her expression softened slightly as she tilted your head up.

“Tap my thigh three times if you need to stop, ok baby?”

“Yes Daddy” you said as you tried to nod despite the hold she had on your hair.

“Good Girl” And just like that any semblance of softness evaporated as her eyes darkened and her expression turned hard again.

“Now be a good little whore and suck”

You barely had time to open your mouth before she thrust forward making you gag instantly. Usually she would ease you into it, allowing your throat to adjust to the intrusion, but not today. She wasn’t going to take it easy on you. Her pace was brutal from the beginning. Thrusting her hips in and out of your mouth watching as your eyes began to tear up. She couldn’t help but take pride in how well you were taking her. She had trained you well. Despite the rough treatment, you were in heaven. You’d happily take anything she was willing to give which is why you just relaxed your throat and let her fuck your mouth relentlessly. Not that you could back away anyway since she still had you pinned against the wall.

The strap was at the perfect angle so it rubbed deliciously against her clit. That combined with the adorable little gagging noises coming from the back of your throat had her feral.

“You better not stop until my cum is coating your entire throat kitten” She practically growled. She thrust harder, making you take her entire length as she held you there coating her cock in saliva all while still having a vice grip on your hair. She did this a few more times and was starting to dig her nails into your scalp from how hard she was gripping you. You wouldn’t be surprised if she drew blood. The thought alone had you rolling your eyes in the back of your head in pleasure. You hadn’t been on your knees for long but you could feel your wetness growing in your panties the more you sucked.

The feeling of her cock hitting the back of your throat was addicting and knowing you were at her mercy in such a vulnerable position made it that much hotter. She pulled out all at once leaving a thick string of spit connecting your lips to her cock. You coughed and tried to take in a full breath after not being able to breathe properly.

Your face was a beautiful mess. Tears flowing freely down your cheeks, lips slightly swollen from the abuse, and an unmistakable haze in your eyes. Lizzie could only think of one thing. She had to ruin you utterly and completely.

“God you’re such a fucking cock whore, it’s pathetic really” she leaned over and tipped your head up again.

“Open” she commanded. You mindlessly stuck out your tongue and she let a ball of spit land directly on it. You swallowed it without an ounce of hesitation.

“Fuck…never mind come here” she commanded as her pupils dilated more than you thought possible. “I’d much rather fill your pussy up and watch as my cum slowly drips onto your pretty thighs''

She lifted you up by your hair and spun you around so you were once again facing the wall. Your arms were at least able to brace for the impact this time. Meanwhile hers touched every inch of your body in a desperate need to claim you. Her right hand reached down to grope your ass harshly and continued further down into your dress. She used two fingers to swipe over your covered pussy and chuckled.

“Fuck baby you’re so wet. Is there something you want? Need perhaps?” She teased. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you squirmed.

“Daddyyyyy” you pleaded “Pleeeaase I need it”

“What do you need, baby? Use your words” she teased as she pushed your panties to the side. Her finger barely making contact with your needy pussy.

“Fuck me Daddy please! Fuck me ruin me use me please I-“ she interrupts your rambling by pushing two fingers into your wet hole, fucking into you slowly.

“You little slut. You’re going to regret saying that” she said with an evil grin.

“And you’re already more than wet enough to take my cock aren’t you sweetheart?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

After a few minutes she pulled her fingers out but before you had enough time to complain she had her cock lined up, already pushing into you. She bottomed out in one swift motion making you choke on air. Your wetness combined with your saliva still coating her strap ensured that it slid in with no resistance whatsoever.

She started fucking into you slowly at first but lost her patience to lust and picked up the pace grabbing your hair again to pull your head aside and kiss your neck. She sucked your pulse point painfully, soothing the spot briefly with her tongue before attacking again. You let out a wanton moan knowing exactly what she was doing. She was marking her property for the rest of the world to see.

Lizzie put a hand over your mouth silencing you.

“Shut your fucking mouth unless you want someone to see you like this” she said harshly. You clenched hard at the thought and moaned against her hand thinking about the possibility.

“Oh you like that? Fuck you’re an even bigger slut than I thought” She leaned in to lick and bite the shell of your ear as she whispers, “I bet you’d love that wouldn’t you? For someone to walk in while I’m fucking your brains out so the whole world can know what a whore you are for me.” You felt her lips brushing the shell of your ear as she spoke.

“You know, I should be eating lunch right now but nooo my little slut of a girlfriend needed me to take care of her because she can’t seem to go a few short hours without me being inside of her” she spat as she quickened her pace.

Her words only served to increase your arousal as you met her thrusts the best you could using your palms as leverage to push back onto her cock, allowing it to go even deeper. It should be embarrassing how turned on you were in this moment and any other time you would be but right now all you could think was how good she felt inside of you. Your orgasm was fast approaching and you knew she would be furious if you tried to cum without permission.

“Daddy…I- Fuck! Ple- I nee-“ you sputtered out. Coherency no longer an option with how deliciously you were being fucked.

“Seriously, you already want to cum? How fucking pathetic” Her pace not faltering for a second. If she kept this up you were going to cum with or without her permission and you did NOT want to find out what would happen if it was without.

Lizzie was getting close too so she quickly pulled out of you and turned you back around to face her. She wasted no time in roughly tugging your panties off and safely tucked them away in her pants pocket. She then grabbed your hips and motioned for you to jump up. You wrapped your legs around her waist as she held you up hovering over her cock just out of reach. Her being more than strong enough to carry the weight of your entire body but taking advantage of the support the wall provided.

“You will cum with me or not at all, do you understand? And look at me when I’m talking to you”

You whined and tried to complain but the slap to your face put a stop to that real quick. It hurt but still made you moan and clench around nothing. Lizzie rolled her eyes and put her left hand around your throat, squeezing the sides just enough to make you struggle for every breath. For a second you wondered how the hell she was able to hold you up with just one arm around your waist but that was going to have to be a question for later.

“Let’s try that again shall we? You will cum when I do or you won’t cum for the next week. Do I make myself clear?” She emphasized her last question with a short but harsh squeeze.

“Yes Daddy I understand, I’m sorry” you choked out with the limited oxygen you had, nodding the best you could. She released her hold on your neck and brought her hand down to swipe at your pussy teasingly reveling in how sensitive you already were.

“That’s my good girl. Remember baby you gotta stay quiet for me okay?”

You nodded as you felt her lowering you onto her cock, using one hand to hold you and the other to guide her cock. Once she bottomed out she resumed her rough pace. Fucking you against the wall with all the force she could muster. This new angle allowed her to bury herself even deeper inside of you, making your toes curl.

She used the hand that was previously on her cock to pull your dress down and expose one of your breasts. She leaned down and started greedily sucking your nipple, biting down harshly just to hear you cry out in pain. She continued sucking your breast leaving another cluster of purple bruises for people to see.

It was all too much. You were doing your best to hold back your orgasm but you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.

Lizzie took a second to look at her watch to see what time it was. If she didn’t finish with you soon, she was going to be late to her next signing.

“Shit” She breathed as she fucked into you impossibly faster and harder. At this point you had to put your hand over your mouth to keep from making any loud noises. As much as the idea of being caught turned you on you knew that the reality would not be nearly as pleasant. She moved it out of the way and replaced it with her lips. Devouring you so all you knew was her. Her taste, her smell, her touch, nothing more. Just as oxygen started becoming an issue she pulled back and without hesitation you begged “Cum inside me Daddy please I need it so bad! Please just fill me up, I can't hold it anymore!”

She looked at you with the most feral gaze you’ve ever seen “You wanna be my little cum slut? Huh? Say it! Say you’re my little cum slut!”

“I’m your li- cum slut Daddy! Fu-“ you could barely push the words out with how cloudy your brain was. Something in Lizzie broke hearing you in such a disheveled state. It stoked her already burning fire into a blazing inferno. You weren’t sure where she found the strength but somehow she managed to start fucking you even harder and faster than she already was. You were a goner.

“If only my cum was real, kitten. I’d make sure you left here pregnant. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll switch it out for the real thing.” You heard the words coming out of her mouth but you didn’t fully grasp their meaning in all your haze.

What you could tell though was that you were getting dangerously close to your orgasm and you hadn’t gotten permission to cum. You wanted to speak up but no words would form. The only sounds that would leave your mouth were breathy gasps and moans as you inched closer and closer to your release. Staying quiet was a thought buried in the past as you both chased your highs. This was it, you were about to fall over the precipice head first into your orgasm and there was nothing you could do to stop it. You closed your eyes, ready for it to wash over you at any moment. The next minute you heard her voice cut through the fog clouding your brain.

“Fuck babygirl I’m so close! Open your eyes for me. I want to see you when you cum” she says practically out of breath. You dig deep and force your eyes open. It felt like your eyelids were weighed down by a ton of bricks but you managed to do it anyway.

When you opened your eyes you were sure you were seeing the face of god. Lizzies face and chest were coated in a thin sheen of sweat. Her cheeks flushed in a soft pink. Her eyes, full of lust and determination. Her mouth slightly agape letting out small quick pants that made her chest rise and fall. You could tell she was extremely close. She looked you straight in the eyes and panted out “Cum with me baby. Now!”

The next thing you knew Lizzie scrunched her face and reached for the pump attached to the strap. She squeezed it as she came, squirting her load deep inside you as she fucked you through her orgasm.

That was all it took for you to spiral into yours as she pressed her lips against you in an attempt to keep you quiet. You couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut as your orgasm shot through you like a bolt of white hot lightning. It was one of the most intense orgasms you’ve ever experienced. Your ears were ringing, your legs were trembling, and it felt like every particle of your being was humming. You weren’t sure how long this went on for but it felt like an eternity in the best way possible.

You both rode out your orgasms as she continued to fuck her cum into you. You felt so full you were sure it would start to leak out the moment she pulled out of you. Once you had both come down from your highs you stayed there desperately trying to catch your breaths for a moment, your foreheads leaning on each other for support. When you both had regulated your breathing a bit, she lifted you off of her strap enjoying the little whine that escaped your mouth. She set you down on the floor making sure you were leaning against the wall for support as you were still recovering. You could feel the cum start to leak out but before you could go to wipe it away Lizzie grabbed hold of your hand.

“Ah ah, don’t go getting any naughty ideas now. Leave it. You’ll stay like this for the rest of the day as a reminder of how much of a slut you are. If you try to wipe it off or clean it in any way, I will know and you will be punished when we get back to the hotel. Am I clear?” She said, vice grip still on your hand.

“Ok Daddy I’ll leave it. Can I at least have my underwear back so it doesn’t drip down my legs?” You asked weakly, already knowing the answer before she even said a word.

“No. You wanna act like a slut you get treated like one and sluts don’t wear panties do they?” You shook your head no, a small pout forming on your lips. You hoped against hope that your little puppy dog face would make her take pity on you, but you knew it was a lost cause. When Lizzie set her mind to something, she did it and no force on earth could stop her.

Lizzie looked down at her watch again and cursed.

“Shit I’m fucking late!” She exclaimed as she tucked her strap back into the confines of her pants and buttoned them back up.

“Go find something for us to eat and then catch up to me at the signing yeah? We kind of skipped lunch and now I’m starving” she said with a smile. Her face was void of the previous emotions she displayed. The only emotion you could see was pure love. “Rest here for a few minutes if you need to, okay kitten? You did such a good job, I’m so proud of you. But don’t take too long. I need my best girl at my side” She ended her last sentence with a huge grin followed by a series of loving but hasty kisses.

“Ok baby I will. Now go before the people riot!” You say with a giggle. She kissed you one last time before she excused herself and ran out the door.

You stood there for a few minutes collecting yourself. You played back the last 45 minutes in your head in disbelief.

‘Holy shit did that really just happen?’ You thought to yourself. What you two had done was beyond risky and so insanely reckless. It could have gone wrong in about a million different ways, but you didn’t really allow yourself to dwell on that. At the end of the day, it was hot as hell and you would 100% do it again if you had the chance. Yeah the proper thing to say would be that it would never happen again but then again, you’ve never been very proper to begin with.

You fixed your dress the best you could and started walking to the bathroom. Only now feeling Lizzie’s fake cum starting to drip down your thigh.

“Fuck me” you whispered to yourself as you started speed walking to the nearest bathroom to assess the damage, chuckling at the irony of that statement. Thankfully you had access to the staff bathrooms because of Lizzie so you at least knew you wouldn’t accidentally run into any fangirls in there. Luckily for you, it was empty since all the convention staff were busy working the event so you had the whole bathroom to yourself.

You quickly walk up to a mirror and look at your reflection and what you see shocks the living shit out of you. Angry purplish red marks littered the side of your neck and breasts which you only now noticed were actually kind of sore. No amount of makeup in the world would be able to cover those up. Thankfully, the ones on your chest would mostly be covered by your dress and the ones on the side of your neck could be covered by your hair as long as you didn’t really move around too much.

As for the cum that had now dripped more than halfway down your thighs, you had a choice to make. Would you leave it and risk the embarrassment of someone seeing it, or would you wipe it off and deal with whatever consequences Lizzie had in mind?

The choice was actually kind of a no brainer. You had just had the best sex in your life from misbehaving once. Who knows how good it could get if you pissed her off twice in one day. There was only one way to find out. You went into a stall to grab some toilet paper and wiped yourself perfectly clean leaving no trace of the fake cum behind. As you did this you wondered in passing if Lizzie was serious about one day switching the fake cum out for the real thing. You made a mental note to ask her about it in the next few days just to check if that was a heat of the moment thing or if she was actually serious. Either way, you wouldn’t be mad about it.

You also noticed the faint bruises that were forming on your knees from landing on them so hard. You were sure they’d be even worse by tomorrow but hey that’s what pants were for.

You checked yourself in the mirror one last time to make sure you looked as presentable as you possibly could before heading out to the convention area to buy some food for the two of you. You ended up getting pizza for yourself and some weird quinoa dish for your girlfriend. She might be into all those grains and vegetables, but you were strictly a pizza and pasta kind of woman. You headed over to the area where you knew Lizzie was supposed to be doing her signing. Security let you pass with no problem seeing as they already knew you from the day before.

You walked up to the empty seat next to Lizzie and tapped her with your elbow to let her know you were there without interrupting her flow. She looked over at you with a soft smile on her face as she acknowledged your presence and then went back to finish signing someone’s fan art.

“Hey baby, I got you this quinoa thing. I think it looks kinda gross but you’ll probably love it.” You half whispered so as to be respectful of the people trying to get their merch signed.

Lizzie just chuckled and shook her head as she looked at your pizza, “You know it wouldn’t kill you to put something green in your body every once in a while.”

“Actually I think it would and you’d feel terrible if you were the reason for my demise” you shot back with a cheeky grin. She just rolled her eyes in fake annoyance at your sass. Having given up on getting you to eat your vegetables a long time ago.

You took a few bites of your pizza before deciding to poke the bear.

You leaned in close to make sure no one else overheard you “Sorry I took so long, I just had to go to the bathroom to freshen up the downstairs a bit”

As you pulled away you saw the smallest change in her expression as her eyes flashed with recognition. She looked down at your lap for a quarter of a second before going back to greeting a fan and signing their funko pop case. As they walked away she leaned in closely so her lips were brushing against your ear as she spoke, “Didn’t I tell you what would happen if you disobeyed me sweetheart?” Her sickly sweet tone sent a shiver up your spine.

“Technically you didn’t actually specify what would happen if I did so I’m gonna have to go with no” you quipped. Your smirk was evident in your voice despite Lizzie not being able to see it.

She never faltered though. “Let’s just see how cocky you are when we get back to the hotel baby. Cuz you’re in for one hell of a night.” Your pussy quivered in anticipation of what she had in store for you.

And just like that she pulled back in time for the next fan to be ushered in, acting like nothing had just happened. She greeted them with a warm smile and happily signed the poster they handed her as they gushed over how much they loved her. Boy she was one hell of an actress.

You spent the rest of the time eating your pizza and daydreaming about all the things your girlfriend was going to do to you when you got back to your hotel room. You couldn’t wait. What could you say? Being a brat has its upsides.

[familyvideostevie]

hey.

okay. hello! i'm back. :)

maybe you noticed, maybe not, but i have been away for a while.

i wish i could say i've been out living my life, so caught up in happiness and joy and loving each day that i've just not had time for tumblr. but....that is not true. i have been having a tough time! being away has been good, as i've had time to do other things that i like and to put energy into my own well-being, but it hasn't been the best time, I'll tell you that.

i peeked on the dash every now and then to keep my queue full and reblogged soothing things to my main blog and tried my best not to feel guilty about it all (i was also booping on April 1 lol). i just...I really needed a break. i've really enjoyed being here the last six or so months as i've changed my blog and entered the pedro/tlou space but i've also felt so, so alone.

and i know that it doesn't really matter!! like, we should all take breaks and go outside and all that stuff. and I know plenty of people are not very active, but this blog has been such a vital part of my life and happiness since I started it almost two years ago, so any lapse in activity feels like a loss. I've met lifelong friends and flexed my writing muscles and learned a hell of a lot. the fact that I have started to feel isolated and alone on here is a sort of personal betrayal, and there is no one to blame but myself.

So, I’m pulling back.

it means a few things — i don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing from now on. For Joel, especially — it’s been wonderful to meet folks in that community but it has also been really detrimental to my passion for both the game and writing. I’d like to return to some other characters on my masterlist, but we’ll see. I’ve got endless personal projects away from tumblr that I want to pour love and time into (my non-reader fics, my newsletter, a romance novel, a sci-fi novel, poetry, etc). I need to fall in love with my own work again.

it's a me problem, I want to stress that. i'm working on it! irl stuff has been kicking my ass. I've had a really, really hard winter and my mental health has suffered probably more than ever before. i let things I love -- like this blog -- fester and become negative and no longer being me joy. writing became stressful and difficult and I was focused on notes and interaction and looking around me and seeing success and then looking at myself and only seeing lack.

but that's why I took a break! i am getting help and support irl, i am putting in the time and effort to feel better about being alive and to be a better friend and person all around. And I want to tell you all about it because I am so grateful for your time and attention and support, even if we’re just strangers on the internet. i know this probably seems silly -- who cares about a fanfic blog? well, i care! i care a lot! it matters to me and therefore it matters!

anyway. on to the important stuff. here I am! and here's what's going to happen on this blog:

I am working on replying to asks and reblogs and comments I missed. Thank you for being patient with me! I don't know if I'll get to them all but know I see them and I am honored every single time.

I made a totally separate ao3 account with this blog url. I'm working on uploading everything I've posted here onto there and hopefully will continue to crosspost. It is going to take a long, long time, so please be patient! (you can follow my other ao3 here for my non x-reader fanfic).

I posted this fic! Jackson!Joel pulled me back into his world. It’s the first thing I’ve written in ages, so let me know what you think. as of now it's the last planned fic for that series, but who knows!

I hit a milestone while i was away that I am absolutely blown away by. I'm planning a celebration around it sometime this spring (hopefully) and I’d love to see you participate :)

lastly, thank you so much to my friends for letting me complain, whine, winge, etc. I am so sorry for missing all of your work, your celebrations, your bright energies, and all the rest. i am so sorry if it seemed like i was ignoring you. you are my guiding lights, my silver linings, my touchstones. you make me want to be here. i will try to make it up to you!

I want to be online less but make sure I’m connecting more in the moments that i am here. I want to pressure myself to write less and not feel bad that I’m not engaged all the time. I want this blog to once again feel like a place that nourishes me and not sucks me dry. i want to stop feeling like shit about all of it!!!!

so. come hang out in my inbox, my dms, let me know what you've been up to. I am really sorry for missing so much. thank you for sticking around. <3

[pointyfruit]

Hi, I'm Pointyfruit! Or Pointy! Oor Fruit! (They/Them)

I mainly reblog silly stuff and art! I also draw stuff sometimes. A lot of stuff overall. This is a very active, multifandom account.

Free Palestine 🍉

More than halfway to their goal!

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Been bouncing around with my sona. This is the go-to reference if you want to draw me very pretty or shred me in a blender idk

Interests

After 7 years of unsupervised internet access, I've picked up a ton of interests! (Some of them are still being unpacked.../j)

Fandoms (roughly most to least active):

•DCA fandom

•Cult of the Lamb

•FNAF

•TSBS-> tsams -> tlaes -> teaps

•The Amazing Digital Circus -> tadc aus

Other stuff I like that I'm not kneck deep in its fandom for:

•Poppy playtime -> smiling critters

•Little Nightmares

•Undertale -> sans aus

•Minecraft

•Art in general

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Boundaries

We all got them and they are super important. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot, so let's get a few things clear.

Do not repost anything I make without my permission.

Do not upload any of my art or writings to ai

Do not make sexual comments about me or my art

Do not make suggestive comments about me or my art (this rule is slightly bendable for my art, but only if it's warranted and light.)

If you message me asking to reblog your stuff, there is a high chance you will be blocked.

Refrain from calling me derogatory names. Even jokingly: Bitch, bastard, hoe, ect.

Be respectful. Bigotry of any kind will get you blocked.

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Miscellaneous

My Tags

Pointy posts: Posts I make about whatever-have-you. Not reblogs.

Late night posts: Stuff I post super late at night which means I'm proobbably not in the right mind. Prone to be deleted after.

Pointy art: art of my ocs or anything non fandom

Pointyfanart: art of someone else's characters/stuff

Pointy doodles: art I don't deem worthy of the tags above. Messy/unfinished/silly stuff

Lmao this made me smile: laugh haha funny feel good tag

Mutuals/mutual: Usually when something of note happens in an interaction between me and a mutual... or to simply flex that the person I'm reblogging from is a mutual of mine.

Fun/game: Fun stuff I'd encourage people to join in. Usually a reblog game.

Q&A

Q: What app do you use to draw?

A: Ibispaintx all my life

Q: What device do you use to draw?

A: Phone and fingers babeeyyy

Q: How tall are you?

A: I'm 5'6

Q: Who's your favorite FNAF character?

A: Aside from the blaringly obvious answer the dca, I like Bonnie, Ft.Freddy+BonBon, and Glamrock Freddy! I appreciate more, but I can't think of of them off the top of my head.

[cfyslvr]

Give her a boyfriend

╰┈➤ author's note: Y'ALL my dumbass really uploaded this when it was unfinished 😭 anyways ur girl is back (took me way too long LMAO) and the fic is ACTUALLY finished- I'm so sorry for taking so long to answer it- but anyways !! I hope y'all like this lil piece and I'm open for new requests anytime !! (although please check my intro right here before sending a request, thank you)

╰┈➤ warnings: fluff, a bit ooc (since emma and draken don't like each other romantically in this), change of original story (draken and emma don't get married) + emma and y/n are sisters instead of twins like the person asked (y/n was born in the beginning of the year while emma was born by the end of the year)

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- you knew it was wrong to have a crush on your older brother's best friend

- but could you really be blamed?

- I mean, he's exactly your type !!

- tall, handsome, caring, kind, protective

- he was everything anyone could want in a boyfriend

- and you just couldn't help but fall for him

- and who was the first one to find out about that? well of course, your twin sister, emma

- at first, she was a little reluctant on supporting your feelings, since she knew how weird and wrong it is to like your brother's best friend

- but seeing that your feelings for ken weren't just a simple crush, but something much, much deeper, she couldn't help but find it cute

- just the way you would look at him with hearts in your eyes whenever he passed by

- the way you'd stutter and trip over your own words whenever you talked to him

- the way your cheeks would always heat up whenever he got close to you

- your crush on him was clearer than a drop of water

- although you were convinced he didn't like you back

- sure, he was nice to you

- would help you take care of mikey

- would always do everything in his power to protect you if you were in danger

- would always buy an extra dorayaki when he buys some for mikey cuz he knows you like them too

- but you just figured all of it was because you were his best friend's sister

- he knows how mikey was like after losing shinichiro

- he just didn't want his best friend to go through the pain of losing his family member again, with no strings attached and no further feelings involved.. right?

- WRONG !!

- little did you know

- how his heartbeat always sped up when you smiled at him

- how his hands would always become unnaturally sweaty when you stood close

- how he feels so relaxed yet so nervous as he listens to you ramble about your interests

- how anxiety eats him up from the inside at the thought of you being in any danger

- how many times he's touched you, hugged you, kissed you in his dreams

- it may be wrong to have a crush on your brother's best friend

- but it's even worse having a crush on your best friend's little sister

- that's exactly why he avoided you

- you always thought that it was because your crush on him was too obvious and he didn't feel the same so he didn't want to lead you on

- but nope, it's because he knows you like him

- and he knows he loves you

- but he also can't help but feel wrong for having feelings for you, especially since you're mikey's sister

- mikey may be a bit dumb, but he's definitely not blind.

- he could practically taste the tension in the room whenever you and draken were alone

- at first he thought you two disliked each other

- but then he overheard your conversation with hina over the phone one night

- he was baffled (to say the least) when he heard you say you liked draken

- he just had to confront you about it the next day.

"how long have you liked kenchin?" he asks, walking into the kitchen and catching you washing the dishes. your heart dropped when you heard his question and you nearly dropped a glass.

"I don't know what you're talking about." you said simply, although the lie was so obviously even fucking manjiro could tell.

"I know you think I'm dumb, but it's even more than obvious that you like him." he responded, clearly unamused by the fact you thought you could fool him.

after a few seconds of hesitating, you sighed, turning the faucet off and turning to face your brother. "it's just a small crush it'll go away."

"a small crush that lasted 3 years and still hasn't ‘gone away’?" now he was just mocking you. you gave him a glare and his unserious and teasing face became a bit more serious.

"look, it's not that I have a problem with you liking ken-chin, if I had to choose, I would rather you date him then some dork who wouldn't be able to protect you or would treat you like shit. it's just- I don't want you to be in a relationship with him because I don't want you to get in any more trouble.. I mean, there have been multiple times when you were in danger because you're my sister, imagine how much more danger you'll be surrounded by if you're my sister and ken-chin's girlfriend.." you were surprised when you heard mikey talking like this, he was never really serious around you, so you could immediately tell that the situation had shaken mikey much more than you. you sighed and gave your brother a small smile.

"I know you must be worried, but.. I have so many people protecting me, you, ken, keisuke, mitsuya.. I'm sure I'll be fine." you said, finally admitting you were inlove with draken instead of calling it a ‘small crush’, which it obviously wasn't. mikey seemed reluctant, but eventually gave in, giving you a smile in return before hugging you, something he hasn't done in awhile.

"in that case, let me help you out with ken-chin."

- you regretted saying yes to that idea with every ounce of your body

- emma's helping out was subtle but effective, while mikey's "helping out" was EVERYTHING but subtle

- like if your crust wasn't already obvious, your bitch of a brother made it THAT much more obvious

- my man would literally walk up to draken out of nowhere and ask shit like "if y/n wasn't my sister, would you still be nice to her?"

- at first, draken just brushed it off, but his questions kept getting more and more direct and more and more specific until one day, about a week before your birthday, he decided that it was the perfect time to ask him a question he have been waiting to ask ever since he found out about your feelings.

"hey ken-chin?" mikey mumbled out, his mouth stuffed with dorayaki.

"first off, don't eat with your mouth full." draken scolded, waiting for mikey to swallow before continuing. "what do you want?"

"would you date y/n if she wasn't my sister?" the question hung in the air for more than it should've. draken stared at mikey with wide eyes as the shorter blond kept chewing on his snacks as if what he had asked was just another normal question from him.

"why would you even ask me that?" draken asked, trying to hide the fact the tips of his ears turned red the second he thought of dating you.

"because y/n's birthday is soon."

"..and?" manjiro stayed silent for a few seconds, he didn't really think this conversation throughoutly before actually staring it.

"I wanted to give her the perfect gift.. so, I wanted to give her a boyfriend." even mikey himself was embarrassed after making up such a stupid excuse.

draken stared back at mikey, a rarely seen dumbfounded expression on his face as he tried to process whatever the heck his best friend was talking about, until he eventually responded.

"..would you let me?" he asked, not even looking at mikey as he did so. mikey was not only surprised because of the question, but because he never saw his brother so.. flustered? he definitely had to think about how he would answer that question. it was a good question, would he let his best friend date his sister? sure, draken was a good guy and all, and he knew he would do anything to protect you and make sure you're taken care of..

after awhile of thinking, he came to the conclusion that the only downside of your relationship would be the fact your boyfriend is in a gang, but even though he still isn't your boyfriend, your own brother is not only in a gang, but a gang's leader at that, and you've (almost) never gotten hurt since mikey's closest friends *cough* mostly draken *cough* were always there to protect you..

"would you treat her well?"

"yes." draken answered in an instant, which surprised mikey once again. he was used to ken being the calm and collected one, so seeing him so rushed to answer and so.. eager to gain mikey's permission to date you was definitely a change. after a few more seconds of debating, a smile appeared on mikey's face.

"then let's give y/n the best birthday present she has received so far.

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soon enough, all of toman's finders, including some of your close friends and (of course) emma, knew about mikey's plan for your birthday. mikey had never seen draken look so nervous when he was about to text you, he almost couldn't form a proper sentence that didn't sound stupid, so in the end, mitsuya had to tell him what to write.

"mikey and the guys planned your birthday out for tomorrow and -this location- I'll come get you at 6pm" *send*

you, being yourself and knowing your brother, thought nothing of it, since it definitely sounded like mikey, but you just knew he made draken pick you up on purpose, and to be honest, you weren't that mad about it either.

your birthday finally came up and you put on your prettiest dress on purpose, not only because it was your birthday but because you wanted to look good for him, and just as he said, draken came to your house on his bike at exactly 6pm. you checked yourself in the mirror before walking out with a charming smile on your face.

"you look great." draken said the second you walked out, which surprised you, since you really can't remember the last time he ever complimented you like this.

"thank you.." you mumbled and got onto the motor, reluctantly wrapping your arms around his waist for support. he smiled to himself and drove off.

soon enough you arrived to the location he told you about yesterday, but to your surprise, there was absolutely nobody there, not your brother, your sister, your grandpa, your friends, not a single person draken mentioned in his message yesterday.

"where is everyone?" you ask as both of you get off his bike, he then grabs your hand and starts leading you closer to the river.

"they'll come by later, it's just the two of us now." he said, a small smirk appeared on his face when he saw your flustered expression. on the outside, he looked calm and collected as always, but on the inside, he was nervous, panicking even.

"oh.. alright." you responded and gave him that same charming smile that always secretly made him melt. you were such a sunshine, his sunshine, or atleast.. soon-to-be his. once the two of you reached the river, both of you sat down on the grass next to it, your bodies unnaturally close.. he usually kept his distance with you, but now not only was he sitting close to you, he was so close that both your knees and shoulders were touching.

"I remembered the time you were talking about experiencing that ‘romantic sunset scene’ from a movie or whatever, so I wanted you to experience it on your birthday." he explained, not failing to voice out the "romantic", you remembered the time and your eyes widened, you weren't even talking to him at that time! you were sitting in the living room with emma, watching some romance movie and you mentioned that you would love to experience a romantic sunset moment with draken someone, and she very politely told you to "please shut up" because you sounded stupid to her and, oh well, guess it didn't sound stupid to him.

"which sunset scene? I've watched thousands of movies with a sunset scene." no you didn't. you lied. you only ever watched one sunset scene, and it was–

"where the two main characters have their first kiss." he finished the sentence and turned back at you with a slightly nervous smile, which was something you saw for the first time in years.

"are we the main characters? what, you're gonna kiss me now?" you ask, trying to sound unbothered and as if you were teasing him and not fuming from how flustered you were.

"would you let me?" draken asks suddenly, his smile dropping as he looks back at you with a serious expression, showing that he wasn't joking anymore. he gently placed his hand on top of yours while patiently waiting for a response. a chill ran down your spine and your eyes widened, was he actually serious? judging by his serious expression, his hand on yours and the fact his face was oh so close to yours was a clear answer to your question. you hesitated for a few seconds, but when you looked back up into his eyes, you subconsciously nodded.

"I would."

"great." and with that, he gently placed his free hand on your cheek and leaned in, gently pressing his lips against yours. it was a soft kiss, not hurried or hungry, but it was filled with unsaid emotions. it felt like it lasted an eternity, but in reality, it was no longer than a few seconds before he pulled away and while you were still dazed from the kiss, he whispered a soft "i love you" into your ear and pulled back to see your reaction.

you were flabbergasted for a few seconds, trying to process his words, and once you brain finally clicked, you whispered it back.

"i love you too.." he smiled at your response.

"will you be mine, sunshine?" hearing his words made and the nickname he gave you made your shocked expression into a wide grin and you could feel your eyes welling up with happy tears. you jumped into his embrace, exclaiming an excited yes and crashing your lips against his again, only to be interrupted by a loud "EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!" you both pulled away and saw mikey, emma, toman's founders and your friends walking up to you two while mikey and baji continued making fake puking noises.

"I said you two could date, but I didn't say you could make out in public!!" mikey exclaimed, yet he still had a wide grin on his face, obviously happy that he successfully made this birthday the happiest one yet.

you and draken whispered another "i love you" to each other before joining the group in celebrating your birthday.

the sun had already set, but draken knew his sun would never.

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© cfyslvr 2024 | please don't steal or repost my work on other platforms !! | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated !!

[ellisgirl]

Jude Jazza & Ellis Twilight — Villains Want to Embarrass Little Robin Story Event

Premium End

I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistakes and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only.

After washing my body and changing into my night dress, I sank into the bed in my room and suddenly felt tired.

(Tomorrow, I'll have to pull myself together... I'll have to do my best...)

While I was sorting out tomorrow's schedule in my head, my eyelids got heavier and heavier—, and I fell asleep.

—I woke up in the middle of the night when I noticed the faint sound of the door opening.

(That...... What time is it now?—)

(—Wait a minute. This is Her Majesty's bedroom, who the hell is in here at this hour?)

My spine trembles. I'm shaking. Jude and Ellis should be resting in a separate room.

(No way, is it really Mr. Abel?)

(But "only people inside the palace have the key")

(Mr. Abel stole the key? Or maybe the mastermind behind the assassination plan is someone inside the palace—?)

Through the curtain of the canopy, the silhouette of a person approaches.

(It can't be helped if I just deduced here! What should I do... get out of the other side of the bed?)

(If I could get out of the room without being seen and call Mr. Jude and Ellis,)

(I should be able to complete the mission.)

(Honestly, I don't feel like I can do it, but— I have no choice but to do it)

Holding my pillow as a shield, I gently placed my hand on the canopy curtain on the other side, at that moment.

A figure raises an arm holding something sharp—,

Man’s voice: “—What the!?”

The figure crumpled to the floor after receiving a heavy blow to the side of the head.

(Hey, what..... What happened......)

I'm afraid to open the canopy curtain and look outside.

Mr. Jude was stomping on a man dressed as a guard.

Jude: "I can't believe you’re screaming in Her Majesty's room in the middle of the night."

Jude: "Isn't that disrespectful? I don't know.”

A man dressed as a guard: "Well.... You are one of Her Majesty's guards.”

Jude: "So you're the secretary of the Glasses Minister?"

Jude: "What are you trying to do with such a dangerous thing?"

A man dressed as a guard: “Damn it. ....I'm gonna kill you too...Nn”

The guard man crawled out from under Mr. Jude's feet and raised his knife again.

A man dressed as a guard: "This is a crime committed by the U.S. ambassador....... I'm in trouble if it doesn't happen like that."

Ellis: "Are you trying to frame it...?"

A man dressed as a guard: “Wha!?”

A hand stretched out from behind twisted the wrist that the man raised again.

Ellis: ".....No, that kind of thing. I don't think anyone will be happy."

A man dressed as a guard: “You, It— hurts.”

Mr. Jude's hand roughly grabbed his mouth and sealed it as he tried to complain of pain.

His nose and mouth are blocked and I can hear a painful voice.

Jude: "If you don't keep quiet, the “Queen” will wake up."

Ellis: "...The Queen's aide wants to ask you something."

Ellis puts one arm around the man's neck and tightens it even more.

Jude: "You’re going to faint from lack of oxygen, or I'll let you sleep in peace, which one? I’ll let you choose."

A man dressed as a guard: "Hmm, hmm!!"

Ellis: "It's rare for Jude to let you choose. You'd better answer as soon as possible."

A man dressed as a guard: "Ngu... O..."

Jude: "Uh? What's that? I can't hear you.”

A man dressed as a guard: “Gu....Nn, ugh….., …….”

When the man's whole body fell apart, Mr. Jude let go of his hand as if throwing out the filth.

Ellis caught him in good timing, tied him up with a rope, dragged him to the corner of the room, and rolled him over.

(......Wow, that's great..... He knows what he’s doing.)

Once again, you are stuck in the dark world, and see that they are two terrifying people to make enemies with...

Jude: “….Hm?”

Kate: “Uwha!”

The curtains were unreservedly opened, and I almost fell off the bed while holding my pillow.

Jude: "It's a nasty queen who has a hobby of distributing."

Ellis: "...It was scary, isn't it? Miss Kate, it's okay now."

An agitated sneer and a gentle smile. I am again confronted with conflicting smiles, but this time my facial muscles are not confused, but relaxed.

Kate: "Both of you..... Thank you very much."

Kate: "But...how did you know?”

Ellis: "Your crown smelled sweet.”

Kate: “Eh…..?”

Jude: “The nectar that caused the bird to run amok was smeared on the crown.”

Kate: "On the crown...?"

Ellis: “So, Jude and I looked into who might have approached the crown before the audience.”

Jude: “The secretary of the minister with the glasses was the last one who approached it, so I kept an eye on the minister and sure enough, there it is."

Jude: “Originally, he was an extremist in the military and a warmonger and a sloppy politician, and he had the motive to say that he would make money by raising a jerk.”

(That kind of thing...)

Kate: "He rebelled against Her Majesty, and on top of that he tried to frame such a good-looking ambassador as a criminal...that's the worst."

When I muttered what I thought, Mr. Jude raised his eyebrow in amusement.

Jude: "Ha, that's surprising. ......As if saying “Don't do it like that” is easy enough.”

Kate: "......He’s alive, isn’t he?”

Ellis: "Yeah, of course. Victor told me not to kill him because he has something to ask."

Kate: "He was trying to take someone's life...”

Kate: “Both the secretary who attacked me and the minister behind it should be prepared for some pain.”

Kate: "......I don't sympathise."

Jude & Ellis : “………”

(At least, Mr. Jude and Ellis know that they will be retaliated in the same way...it looks like they are working with this in mind.)

I don't think it's a good thing, but I'm not going to assume it's a bad thing either.

That was my frank thought after working with them on several missions.

Jude: "Ha, how did you start saying that?"

Ellis: "Shall I go and hurt him more? How much do you want me to abuse him?"

Kate: "You don't have to do it any more...!”

Ellis: “Yeah…..?”

When I hurriedly stopped him, Ellis put away the knife with a small bow of his head.

(These two people are both quite troublesome.)

(But I can absolutely trust you... being by your side might be the strongest)

Jude: "Hah..... I'm really tired today because the princess is unreliable."

Mr. Jude sat down on the bed and sprawled himself up.

Jude: "It's almost morning. I gave almost a whole night to that weirdo assistant.”

He was about to close his eyes, so I opened my mouth in a hurry.

Kate: "Um, I'm sorry, here is my bed.”

Jude: “Ah? It's not yours, it's Her Majesty's."

Ellis: "Oh, Jude is not fair."

Ellis also turned to the other side and lay down with Mr. Jude sandwiching me.

Ellis: "I think I'll take a nap here too."

Kate: “Eh, Ellis…..?”

Ellis: “Miss Kate, can we sleep together?”

Kate: "Sleep, you mean......, eh...eh!?"

(Together, .......With these two people!?)

Jude: "It's so noisy."

Ellis: "Here, over here."

Kate: "Wha......!?"

I collapsed onto the bed with my arms pulled from both sides.

No matter how wide Her Majesty's bed is, when two adult men and I lie down, it's narrow.

(S-So close...)

There was no way Mr. Jude would open up space for me, and Ellis was close enough to say that he wanted to stick together with me.

I was sandwiched between the two bodies regardless, and my shoulders, arms, and legs were in close contact.

Jude: "You body temperature is high... Are you a child even here?”

Ellis: "It feels so warm and nice. .....Hey, can't I hug you?"

Kate: "It's no good...!"

No matter which way I look, I feel strange, so I answered while looking straight up.

Jude: “Fuha, what are you blushing for? You dirty girl."

Mr. Jude sits on his shoulders next to me and looks down at me with a smirk on his face.

Kate: "Isn't it disrespectful to sneak into someone's bed without permission?"

Jude: "Isn't it disgusting? I don't know who it is, the villain who does such a thing."

Ellis: “Do you want to do something naughty? It’s okay, if you want to.”

Kate: “Huh….uh, …..?”

Ellis lays down next to me, looks straight at me, and suggests the most outrageous thing.

Ellis: “Oh, would you rather do with Jude? Or me, or both?"

Jude: "Hey, I'm getting involved without permission."

Jude: “If you want to do it, do it as you like. I'll just sit here and watch. You like that kind of thing, don't you?”

Ellis: "Really? Then will you?"

They whisper to me from both sides as they please, and my face starts to twitch more and more.

Kate: "Could you please get off the bed and sleep in your own room..."

Ellis: "......But I'm worried if you're alone, Miss Kate."

Kate: “Uh…..”

Jude: "This bed is so comfortable, I refuse."

Kate: “….Jesus, I’m done…..!”

With a tired head, a pure conscience and arrogant selfishness thrust at me—

—I stopped thinking.

Kate: "It's fine as it is...! Good night!"

I pulled the sheet up to my face and managed to keep them out of sight.

Jude: "Fuha, what's with that sleeping style?"

Ellis: “You’re hiding. I miss you.”

Both of them started to fall asleep after a few minutes without knowing what others thought....

While being wrapped in the gentle sound, warm body temperature, and the sweet scent of the two people, I also fell asleep before I knew it.

…

A few days later. Without making it public that there was an assassination, the U.S. ambassador left the palace with the same sunny smile he had on his face when he arrived.

To my horror, the minister with glasses disappeared from his seat without my knowledge. And then—

Ellis: "Ah, here we come. Miss Kate, this way."

Kate: "...Thank you for waiting."

Jude: "Are you more nervous than the mission?"

Today is the day we decided to grant each other's "requests" in celebration of completing our mission without our identities being revealed.

(The partners are Mr. Jude and Ellis. The promises we exchanged must be kept.)

It's reassuring to have these people as allies, but I've just learned that turning them into enemies can be troublesome.

I gulped and swallowed my spit, the two smiled their very best smiles.

Ellis: "I'm looking forward to it... Well then, Miss Kate."

Jude: "Do you want me to fulfil your “wish”?"

…Fin…

Masterlist

Chapter 1 >> Chapter 2 >> Premium End >> Epilogue

[fandom-hoarder]

Ok, so I got an ask for mutual aid. Of course, it's human to want to help someone in need, even if all you can do is reblog their post. But you also don't want to be scammed, or help spread a scam. So you look for clues, or you only reblog your mutuals' aid posts because you at least know they're *real*, or you don't reblog aid posts at all.

So, what are the tells? (I'm not an expert, this is just what I've learned through osmosis.)

Do they follow/interact with you, outside of the mutual aid request?

Is their username weirdly generic?

Does the blog look like a real tumblr user, and not just someone who made a tumblr to ask for aid? How old is it? Is it involved in any fandoms? Does it seem staged?

Does their aid ask and needs description make sense? Is it overly vague, or bogged down with unneeded details?

If you quote-search the body of their aid ask, do you get any similar hits for scams on other sites or under other names?

Does the account for donations look legit?

What do you find when you reverse image search?

So, having received an ask that sounded very much like someone whose mutual aid I would want to support if they're real, but already having two red flags from the jump (not following me and not in my notifications, weird wording and grammar on ask), I endeavored to suss them out.

Screencaps of my adventure under the cut.

Like someone else has said, please don't go harrass this blog. Even if it's a scam, at some point there's a person behind that screen.

So here's the ask.

Red flags: they don't follow me, I don't know them, the ask is long, the grammar and punctuation are bad, word choices are odd or misspelled. These don't mean it's automatically fake, but it looks more like a weird AI than someone using google translate to communicate in English.

So I check their blog.

Their pinned post is this (click to read, it's a longass pic):

I don't take any links yet.

I take a block of their post and check it in google; all I get are snapshots of tumblr reblogs for their aid post. I click the "buy me a coffee" link, and it looks...idk, fine I guess. There's a tumblr logo, but clicking it seems to do nothing. (I'm on mobile)

A quick search of their name on tumblr gives me 2 posts mentioning them spamming this same message to people.

I read the one with the readmore linked here

After reading wannursyafiqah74's post about it, I got on my laptop and went back to casualdonutfire.

Mostly random reblogs; cats and other random reblogs of mostly pics, many with comments that could've/should've been tags, and no actual tags whatsoever. Like set dressing that says, "See? I'm a real person! I'm leaving comments about my reblogs that show I'm not a bot! I interact! I know what I'm I'm reblogging!"

It gives me a creepy vibe. I try google again to see if I can find their presence elsewhere on tumblr. The returns are still all snapshots of their mutual aid post. I open their archive. Ok, their tumblr has archive on...?

There are no fandom-esque posts until the very first reblog, a comment on One Piece fanart on October 18, 2023.

Their first post about needing aid was on November 7, 2023. Nearly the same wording as their pinned post, except they don't mention having a child. Zero specifics on what amount is needed for what or a timeline or anything. Not even anything about Christmas coming up. Tagged generously for trans surgery and other visibility words.

Oh. AND. The buymeacoffee is different. Adela, not Adella.

Then their next post for aid is fresh on January 11, 2024; nearly the same wording, except now there's a daughter and a birthday -- no date for the birthday, though, is there?!

[reblog linked here] If you go to their January 12th reblog and click on the "video proof," it's an audio-only black screen upload to imgur, with no identifying info for what's going on other than what they describe (and it doesn't really sound like what they describe; it sounds like a kid ready for christmas but not disappointed, like idk what more you're supposed to get out of it)

Then I clicked on their buymeacoffee link and noticed something. When I hovered my mouse over the tumblr symbol under their blurb, the link embedded there showed up at the bottom of my screen. And it was NOT casualdonutfire.

It was deepeagletimetravel. And, of course, it's a nuked tumblr. Hence doing NOTHING for me on mobile.

So I went to google again!

And lo, what do I find in those lurking reblogs?

ANOTHER MUTUAL AID POST IN EVERYONE'S REBLOGS. WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSONA AND STORY. BUT THE SAME WALL OF TEXT + BAD PUNCTUATION STYLE

Using a stock photo for their initial "bio" that seems awfully misleading when you don't say it's a stock photo.

And with stolen/uncredited art by thetransformistress as a thank you.

And, of course, the buymeacoffee page it linked for Ameera (buymeacoffee.com/AmeeradelzC) is blank. 👀 Totallynormal, nothing to see here.

But this makes me think. I go back to that Nov 7 casualdonutfire post, with their first buymeacoffee link to "Adela" (buymeacoffee.com/adelladomil)--

and what do ya know, the tumblr that opens is casualdonutfire!

So did they forget they made an adela account, and change their ameera buymeacoffee account to adella for their new post, forgetting to change the deepeagletimetravel tumblr name?! 🤷‍♀️

[glorianamultistan]

I do not own the image.

I will be uploading more soon; this has been in my drafts for over six months. P.S.:- you can support me by buying me a coffee; link's on my page.

Lee Know x Male Reader

Part 1

Summary: Prince Lee Know has fallen for Y/n.

It was early morning, around 4 am, when Lee Know was sure that no one was following him; he departed towards the left wing of the manor, the ones where the guest rooms were located.

Y/n felt a light knock on his door and before he could ask who it was, the prince slipped in.

'Your Royal Highness!?' y/n whispered as he got up from his bed and felt a bit embarrassed because he was not in a very presentable state.

'Ah! You are up! Great! Let's go, we need to go to the lake; it will take some time. You wanted to look at the sunrise. So let's go.' Lee Know stated as if all this was a preplanned enterprise.

'Uhm... But sir. I just said it lightly.' Y/n could not understand how his light comment made the prince be present here at such an hour with all this enthusiasm.

He saw the older flinch a bit and feel a bit out of words, so he just complied with the request and 'You took such measures so early in the morning. I apologize; let me just get ready. Oh, don't worry, I can get ready without helpers, sir. If you could please turn around.'

Lee Know stood there, his face towards the door, with a feeling of restriction in his throat as he heard y/n rustle in and out of the clothes.

Lee Know was restless the whole night. He saw y/n for the first time last year at a ball held by his cousin, where the latter was introduced to him with the sole intention of a matrimonial alliance between the l/n and Lee families, both being two of the few most powerful ones in the southern region of the kingdom.

Lee family was also a branch of the royal family, with princes and princesses ornamenting the upcoming generation of family heads. So Lee Know, or Prince Lee Know, was an heir to the titles and extravaganza, and he knew how to use them to get the work he wanted to be done.

Y/n, on the other hand, was an honorable person, not with high titles, as he was not the direct heir and had three elder siblings. But it was truth universally acknowledged that he was the best catch out of all his siblings and hence was courted by a legion of princes and dukes and marquises and all the remaining titles of the realm, even the high-ranking government officials of the other nations and royalties of other empires wanted to have him as their son-in-law.

Why? Just because he was blessed with the supreme combination of mind and grace. He was, at his current age of 23, already an established author and a formal martial artist. He was mannered like no other person, full of the right protocols and courtesies. He was the gem the crowns of all the empires lacked. And, he was utterly clumsy and naive to love approaches to the level of irritation for his suitors.

'We can leave now, sir.' Lee Know turned around to see y/n in casual wear for a walk; he was still affected too much. 'Uh, yeah, let's go, let me, yes, just okay, let's go.' 'But this is my room, sir; I should be the one closing the door.' 'But I insist.'

So, y/n stood in the hallway as the prince closed the door and walked down the few engraved steps that his room had to them, a medieval design.

'Were you comfortable in the room? I got it arranged for you, especially because you like cozier spaces.' 'It is an honour, sir, that you took such measures for me.' Yes, y/n clearly has no idea that they met last year as a probable couple; his parents never notify him of such occurrences as he gets anxious and is not able to present himself. So now, it's the prince's turn to think that y/n is not interested in him and probably thinks of this all as a once-in-a-while opportunity.

'Will you be comfortable on the same horse, or do you want a separate one? Or do you want to drive there? I can ask for the cars too if you don't like horse rides.' Lee Know asked repeated questions to ensure he asserted that he was doing it all for the younger's comfort.

'I have no complaints about sharing the horse, sir.' Y/n liked such escapist endeavours. He was surprisingly cheerful this morning to go and look at the sunrise properly. He had heard of the majestic view of the sunrise which the lake of the Lee manor had. It was sublime, in his older brother's words.

The lake was situated in the little valley formed by ancient hills now eroded to moors. Here the duo reached just a few minutes before the sun was about to emerge through the horizon, and so there was a hazy lavender-maroon sky waiting for them.

'It is indeed sublime.' Y/n whispered. 'Huh?' Lee Know looked at the boy looking over to the climbing sun. Rays shined over them softly, and a light breeze ruffling the long hair of y/n made Lee Know to realise that he might actually have fallen a bit too hard.

What was to be done now? The sun was roping up, and the firmament shone, and so did the face of the younger, watching it all with awe as the mist started to clear up. Lee Know knew he had to take them back before breakfast, but he did not have enough courage to disturb the scene in front of him.

'Uhm, we-we should head back now, we need to be present there for breakfast, or your brother would think I kidnapped you.'

'Yes sir, we must hurry. I don't want to be caught slipping out like this.' There it was again; Lee Know felt a jab at heart; was he really not going to even get a chance?

[anyhow-everything]

Sooo….. I just made a mistake

Graphic sexual content under the cut, minors dni (if I see you interacting with this post and you don’t have an age stated on your profile or you’re a minor, I WILL block you)

Just imagine being skz free use fucktoy and they’re on vacation with you after all that comeback stress, but they still have to vlog of course (gotta keep their fans fed and all that) but they’re so busy with fucking you that they can’t get any other content, so they just upload this video of you being sprawled out on the dinner table for access from all sides, completely fucked out already, eight sets of hands on your body, and of course they can’t show identifying features in this (as if we couldn’t recognize them from their pinky alone) so your face is the only one shown and the shot starts on your face, on the way your eyes are half closed and rolled back into your head, your cheeks red, your chin coated in what probably is a mix of saliva and precum from sucking one of them off earlier, with your lips slightly parted and laboured breaths escaping, too far gone already to properly speak. And then the camera pans down slowly, showing your neck that is held tightly by someone’s hand (we‘d immediately recognize Hyunjin) and your breasts, nipples peaked and swollen, glistening with someone’s spit and red spots showing from where someone pressed his fingertips in too hard. Further down next to your belly your legs can be seen, held up on one side by tiny hands and on the other side by long and skinny fingers, Felix and Jeongin apparently helping out whoever is ramming into you at this moment. And then it moves even further down, showing a long and veiny cock, obviously belonging to the person holding the camera, sliding in and out of your slick hole, the sight alone so pornographic that you know what you‘ll masturbate to once they go on tour again. Chan‘s dark voice can be heard right behind the camera, giving away that it’s him currently drilling into you: „My god, so beautiful, Baby, treating us so well on this holiday. Say hi to STAY“ and then he chuckles when all he gets in response is a strangled moan. „Guess, you’re unable right now, huh? It’s alright, Baby, I‘ll talk for you. Do you hear that, STAY? They say Hi and want to thank you for all the support during our last comeback. Now please excuse us for the next couple of days while we’re busy… unwinding here. Talk to you soon!“ and with that he hands the camera over to someone else, who gets one last shot of his hips picking up speed and drawing high pitched screams out of you, before the camera is turned off and the iconic „Stray Kids everywhere all around the world“ ending screen is seen.

The video is only online for a couple of minutes, the members uploaded it without telling staff and JYPE immediately got it removed when they found out, but it’s enough time for the fans to screen record or download it and make edits and spread images, everyone loving the support the members get through their little toy and begging the company to allow for more of this content (of course with proper age restriction)

[82mitsu]

{18Trip} The 18 Questions Corner - Natsuyaki Chihiro

This is a translation for the 18 questions interview uploaded on the official Youtube channel. I suggest to read this translation alongside it!

Note: P stands for "Player", this series has a voiced male & female character for the player. The interviews are conducted by the male player in this case.

Full TL note at the end of the interview due to its length! But as an opener:

Chihiro refers to himself as ちぃ (Chii) at times. This is kept as is when explicitly mentioned, other times regular first person pronouns in English are used.

P: 18 questions for the Tourism Ward Mayors! We look forward to your cooperation!

Chihiro: Let's get it popping!

What’s your name?

Call me Natsuyaki Chihiro.

How old are you?

22 years old! Still got the pep in my step!

Tell us about your occupation!

I’m an Alpha Dazzler on social media ☆ You better hit that follow button and share my posts!

What’s the first thing you do when waking up in the morning?

The full course of washing my face, putting on a beauty mask, and brushing my teeth!

Anything you’re particular about with lunch?

Snapping pics with filters that make it look sooo yummy♪ is a must!

What pops up in your mind when it comes to “evening”?

Um… looong shadows.

What’s your routine before bed?

Can’t skip out on updating my socmed & checking my notifs~ Gotta give each and every Dazzler that sweet “Like”!

Where do you start with washing your body?

My hair persnaps~ Hair treatment for super silkiness!

What’s essential when leaving for a trip?

Toooootes my phone!!!

What do you check before traveling somewhere?

I like, so gotta check where all the fancy spots are.

What’s your favorite method of transportation for traveling? 

Don’tcha just wanna go with the flow and hop on whatev’s the local transport there~?

What’s one item you’d bring to a deserted island?

My phone… ah, but like, a deserted island doesn’t have signal, does it?

Please give us some fanservice! 

✧・ﾟ: *Welcome, little kitten. Let's enjoy ourselves to the fullest*:・ﾟ✧ How’s that~!? OMG, did Chii just like, serve and eat that!?

Who’s someone you’d lean on for support? 

That's gotta be Taotao~ He’s easy to talk to!

Who would you swap bodies with for a day?

Morning Squad’s Ten-chamu!

What would you want to do as them?

Ten-chamu’s style of dancing is lil’ bit of a diff genre, right~ So I wanna try breakdancing like that!

Pass on a message to your roommates!

Taotao~ Chii wants to also like, get master rank in Anigun’s new season so plz carry me ‘kay♪

Tell us from the heart, what’s a “journey” to you? 

A super duper hype meeting!!! I want all the people I see for the first time ever to recognize Chii’s charm~☆

P: Thank you, those were all 18 questions!

Chihiro: Oatscurry! See ya at Chii’s stream laters!

Chihiro: Natsuyaki Chihiro! HAMA’s 12th Ward Mayor. Leave all the hospitality to Chii the Commanding Officer of Hype to deliver you the bestest of best!

TL notes:

よろぴく (yoropiku) is outdated slang for よろしく (yoroshiku). Has been turned into various slangy ways to represent it.

トリメ is short for トリートメント, aka hair treatment.

イケカテ is short for “ikemen voice category” which is a way to classify what kind of voices you prefer. If you hear someone that makes you go, “Kyaah~ such a handsome voice!” you file him away in ikekate. If it’s like “Woaaah, so cyoot!” you file him away in kawakate (kawa being kawaii). Chihiro also makes a pun with this: ikekate rosen demo ikenjanee (lit. can’t I like, go down the ikekate route!?). While this has been reworked into something else completely, I included it in the TL note simply as an FYI. 

あげぽよ (agepoyo) is Gyaru slang for when something is super duper extra mega hype poggers, etc.

There’s more quirky stuff, but he drained me of all my braincells for now.

[itzjustmonikas]

Some short cute scenarios of the octavinelle trio relating to magicam! (Jade,Floyd, Azul x reader with no specified gender)

-Jade runs one of those foraging accounts you see on YouTube where he shows people different types of plants/fungus. He gets especially excited talking about his collection and how he tends to his plant babies. Most viewers first started watching him for his voice, hands, and appearance but stayed for the information. One day he asked you for some help with transporting a pot/harvesting a rare plant and got you on video. You didn't think much of it at first and just went on with your day, but when he uploaded the video his fans were all commenting, asking who you were because they liked your voice and found it rare to see someone other than Floyd in the videos. He responded in the next video by saying “That’s a secret~” and people start speculating and talking about who you might be. You end up making more appearances but your face is never shown as Jade wants to keep his beloved all to himself~ and well, he is amused at his fans reactions and want to keep them guessing ;)

-Floyd is canonly very caught up on the latest trends and fashion. He has a big wardrobe and buys alot of different clothing items and accessories. It definitely costs a lot of money so Azul suggested for him to be one of those influencers that post their fits in order to get brand deals to support that lifestyle. Floyd agreed and is actually interested in doing it consistently, he eventually gets pretty popular on magicam because of that and gets invited to a high end luxury brands fashion show. He initially didn't want to go but found out that you liked the brand so he took the offer and brought you with him. You guys got dressed in matching outfits and went to the show together and go viral for your matching outfits and how compatible you both look. Floyd especially for his eyes, tallness, and unique appearance but you also looked very gorgeous alongside him, had great chemistry. Brands end up sending Floyd loads of clothes for upcoming couple lines and you guys ended up with lots of pictures and some fond memories together~

-As you spend more time in NRC you and Azul have gotten closer, chatting often during passing period and collaborating on projects. He was initially cautious of you and did not think you would become such a special and important person to him. He loves your kind words and feels as if you really understand him, he is still scared and a bit hesitant on telling you about his past. Will you decide to turn away from him like the others or will you accept him for who he is? He hopes for the latter...regardless, he wanted to show his gratitude for you by taking you out on a date to watch that one movie you've been excited about recently. You guys plan it out and go to to the theaters together, snacking on popcorn while giggling together at the funny scenes. As you guys walk out, hand in hand, a few people see you guys and end up snapping a pic of you two together because you guys just look so good! None of you realized because you were both enjoying the moment and excited to talk about your thoughts on the ending. Once you guys got back to the dorms you were bombarded with messages from Cater talking about how you and Azul went viral online. You were shocked and went to notify Azul who also just heard the news, both of you ended up reading through the trending tags and comments. You both blushed at the compliments you guys got, such as:

"they look so compatible", "the way he looks at [insert pronouns]>>>", "I love their outfits", "omgg the chemistry between these two", etc

People were wondering if you guys were upcoming models or something and were comparing you guys to known couples from dramas/television. It was an unexpected event but brought you guys closer in the end~

I am a first time writer so please bear with me if I made any mistakes, I am open to constructive criticism and hope you guys enjoy!

Let me know if any of you guys want a part 2🫧