#possibly the most difficult chapter because it’s handling a lot of things

[bubbiethesaur]

It’s another day, my dudes. Have a little lra Sun as a treat as the next chapter cooks.

[kirietown]

Charmless Morning | Ch. II

Pairing: mark grayson x f!reader

Summary: before there was the hive, there was only you.— or perhaps before there was you, there was the hive? it hurt your head to think about it, but all you knew for certain was that now you were one in the same, and if the hive wanted mark grayson, then so did you.

Content: mind hive control, college move in!, the hive shenanigans, minor body horror

18+

[chapter one] [chapter two] — ongoing series

Word count: 2.1K

a/n: i promise we will have mark appear in the next chap <3

College meant a lot of things; change was the most major thing. Luckily, you hadn’t gone through many throughout your first week. Though it was difficult to part with your bees; your backyard had grown into a large sanctuary over the course of your adolescence and housed thousands of bees of various breeds. You promised them you’d see them on the weekends because thankfully it was only a half hour drive from your college. 

Upstate was promising, but you had no interest in socializing— and had heard plenty of roommate horror stories on Reddit that caused you to implant a bee as soon as you saw your roommate come in with a scowl on her face and more luggage than necessary. Her name was Darla-May, a second year, (not Darla, not May, but Darla-May), and she grew up in the city but had some questionable tradwife views. Had you not planted the bee in her brain, you would have never found out about the fact she was planning to have her group of friends harass you to force you to drop out so she could have the room to herself. 

Luckily, campus was buzzing with bees and you managed to find one for each of them! They lived life the same, though now you made sure they wouldn’t be hurting any more girls on campus. The Hive was truly a blessing. You now had your very own friend group, something most university students struggle with for months. They made it easier to seek out the one you were looking for, Mark Grayson, who apparently was a friend to William who had been dating Rick, who unfortunately was MIA— or possibly dead? You didn’t bother with the details, and The Hive was able to handle the rest. 

You’d learnt a few things about Mark Grayson since your stay on campus; 1. He has a girlfriend named Amber,— this, the hive was displeased by for some reason. 2. He was the superhero Invincible, son of Omniman,— though it seemed the hive already knew this. 3. Mark Grayson was not on Earth at the moment, and although The Hive knew most things, it appeared that outer space was its hard boundary. 

“How can I get close to him if he’s not even on the planet?” 

You sighed as you laid in bed and pondered over your situation. Darla-May was fast asleep in her own bed across from you, and you didn’t have to worry about potentially waking her up because her bee ensured a strict sleep schedule (she used to have a bad TikTok addiction and it was what led her down the tradwife pipeline). It wouldn’t wake her unless you wanted her to wake, or if it felt as though she were in danger. 

We wait. In the meantime, we have to prepare. 

“Prepare?” 

We’ve been tailing Amber and William. Their discussions imply that Mark has a habit of putting his hero duties over his personal life. We won’t get anywhere by trying to get through to him through there. 

“But how will we be able to do that?” You furrowed your brows in confusion,— just how could you infiltrate his superhero life? 

Is it not obvious? 

“No…” You knew where this was going, but you didn’t like the thought of it. College was supposed to be your biggest worry, but it seemed like The Hive had a different agenda for you.

Becoming a superhero was easier said than done— even with the help of The Hive. Outside of class time, The Hive had you on a strict regimen when it came to exercise and concentration. You’d learnt that if you focused your attention enough, you could connect to any bee in the country if you had to. The Hive was convinced you could link to every single one on the planet if you continued to strengthen your link. 

By the end of your second week of training, you were already stopping petty burglaries amongst other smaller crimes. You were pleased, but The Hive was convinced you could do more. 

We have to get the GDA’s attention. Go after something major, and then we’re in. 

“I don’t get why you can’t just plant a bee in one of their top agents or something…” You sighed. You walked casually on the sidewalk until you came across the tailor shop you had been looking for. You needed a proper costume now that some time had passed, as The Hive believed a baggy sweater and a scarf wasn’t heroic enough. The shop you chose was old fashioned, but it was the closest one to campus that seemed low key. You needed something that didn’t seem like it attracted a lot of visitors.

They’re incredibly thorough when it comes to access. We can’t risk them believing we’re some type of foreign invasion nor would they understand us regardless. We’d have to get their director, Cecil Stedman,— but we don’t want him to join our hive. 

The Hive was picky sometimes when it came to allowing certain individuals into its domain. Planting bees into your parents, and most regular people was fine. But it drew hard boundaries during other occasions and you weren’t sure why. 

We find him icky. 

“Hello?” You called into the tailor shop, stopping by the counter until a man emerged from a back door. 

“Hello to you as well,” he replied in a chipper tone. “My apologies, I’m the only person who works here and so it’s hard for me to manage the desk and work on suits at the same time. It feels like a back and forth between the back and the front. But it’s why I have the bell here,” he explained with a sigh, and ended his ramble by pressing his hand against the bell on his counter. 

“Anyway,” he continued. “So what can I do for you?” 

“Well,” you said. “I’m trying to get my own suit too, but something of a more niche nature. Actually, I’m glad you mentioned you’re here alone because it makes this so much easier.” He furrowed his thick brows in confusion at your words, and you only smiled tenderly. 

“Sorry,” you said. “The little guy I picked out for you is a little shy.” You sighed dramatically before you reached into your jacket pocket and pulled out a mellow bumble bee. “C’mon,” you said softly. “I know you’re young but I promise you it’ll be fine.”

”Look girl,” he said as he backed away in worry. “I don’t know what you’re on about but—“ his words were cut abruptly as the bee in your hand quickly flew off and went straight into his ear. He choked for a moment, stunned, before his expression changed to one of familiar neutrality. You sighed in relief, glad that your little friend finally got over his confidence issues. It wasn’t that the bees didn’t want to work, some were afraid of disappointing The Hive as it was a great honour to work directly for you both.

You shut your eyes, suddenly in tune with the memories of the tailor. “Okay Derek,” you said, though you didn’t need to speak physically, but you had begun to prefer it over the years due to the history of silence between yourself and your parents. “You know what to do.” 

You turned to take a seat on the couch, and watched him bring out various yellow fabrics and immediately started to work at a quickness that was beyond human. No, it was a quickness only made possible by The Hive, and its little friend.

The entire process of making your superhero costume, which would normally take any tailor several weeks, only took an hour. He needed no measurements as The Hive knew all there was to know about you and your preferences and thus your suit had been made. 

You stepped around the mannequin Derek had assembled it on and noted the fairy like appearance of the top and skirt. You pursed your lips at the sight, noting the wide open back— you weren’t opposed to a backless look but you didn’t realize the hive would select something so… revealing. 

The back is open for a reason. But unrelatedly, we want to catch Mark’s attention. 

You stepped back in shock at the words that rang in your head. “I thought you just wanted to get close to him— did you mean seduce him?” You paused for a few moments and waited for The Hive’s reply but it didn’t come. “Are you there?”

Yes. Are our intentions not obvious? 

“He has a girlfriend, which you’re aware of…” You paced around, feeling your cheeks heat up at the thought of The Hive trying to set you up with a guy you never even met. 

She doesn’t seem very happy with him.

”Whoa,” you said with a snort. “I’ve never heard you sound so snappy before, you’re usually so monotone. Why do you need this guy so bad?” You halted your walking and found yourself in front of the costume again, admiring the bright and sparkly fabric. It ideally fit the criteria of both cute and sexy. You could see Derek at the corner of your eye standing stiffly, if he had been paying attention to your conversation he didn’t show it. The Hive had said his implant would be temporary anyway, you only needed him for his skill, and now that the bee had been in his brain long enough, anyone connected both now and in the future to The Hive could duplicate his skillset. 

Everything was shared once you were a part of The Hive; in fact, everyone with a bee in their head currently knew exactly where you were right now and what you were feeling. 

Awkward. 

We think he’s an ideal candidate for us. 

“Because he’s some B-tier superhero?”

No, because he’s part extraterrestrial. It is the link we have been ready for. 

“I see,” and you really didn’t. You just hated to question The Hive too much; if The Hive got too agitated, your head would start to hurt. It wasn’t a normal pain either— it was punishment. You knew better than to question The Hive’s choices or authority. You weren’t sure why you bothered to now. 

You turned and allowed Derek to pack up the suit and associated mask. You thanked him and paid him generously for his services before you summoned his bee back into your palm. You watched his expression shift from contentment to confusion within seconds before you thanked him again and exited the store. You knew he wouldn’t remember anything that had just happened, and thankfully you didn’t have to fix any cameras as the store didn’t have any. 

That night you slept pleasantly until you awoke from immense pain searing across your back. You flailed in bed for a few seconds before you tumbled out and ripped your shirt off and threw it across the room. It hit Darla-May straight in the face but she didn’t stir whatsoever much to your annoyance. Wasn’t she supposed to sense your pain? 

We can’t see but she’s crying in her sleep, The Hive said solemnly. They all are. That’s why we waited to do this in the middle of the night. 

“W— what are you doing to me?” You cried out. You curled your back and pressed your clammy forehead to the floor, feeling the cool hard wood against your skin. The pain of your back was so intense you felt as though you’d pass out at any second if it didn’t stop. You could feel your skin splitting, as if to make room for something, though it felt less so of an invasion and more so like an intrusion— if that even made sense. You had never felt the terms were so different until now. 

Don’t worry. Just sleep. 

Instantly you relaxed, your eyes shut tightly, and despite the pain, your body and your mind listened. 

In the morning you woke up sweaty despite having been pressed top naked against the cold floor all night. Slowly, you arose twitching slightly due to the sensation of fluttering against your back. 

“What is it? What’s on my back?” You asked Darla-May who seemingly awoke a few minutes before you as she had been in the middle of grabbing her towel and other toiletry from her closet. You stared at her with anxiety written all over you. Yet, if she noticed, she didn’t show it. Generally, she was clearly unbothered by the situation. 

“Wings,” she said happily. “You have wings,— just like a bee. Isn’t The Hive so generous?” 

What a blessing, you thought bitterly. You ignored the pain suddenly digging in your skull. What a blessing to have been chosen by The Hive. 

[auraisereigh]

"A dive into the past"

chapter nine

Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson reader Blurb: Star explains a piece of her magic while passing time waiting for e certain someone. wc: 3.9k ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. Not much really. Star's thoughts get their own warning? Uses pronouns: she/her. i use Star as a nickname as y/n sounds weird, and i'm awful with names.

Masterlist ☆ Dragon guide ☆ Star's story ☆ Empyrean guide ☆ Support me

After a lot of back forth with House Lindell today would finally be the day I'd see my brother again. Almost two months after I came back home I finally get to bring him home.

I didn't sleep much, I kept tossing and turning, filled with nervous energy. Wondering what state he'd be in, we might have been separated for only two months but those two months have been long and difficult.

Since I couldn't sleep I spend the night cleaning Xaden's room, tidying it up, making sure everything he could possibly need would be there. I refreshed his sheets which gained me some glares from the early staff because of the noise. I also gave him new and extra pillows.

In the morning I almost bumped into Brennan. Despite that our... Issues had been resolved, I didn't necessarily go look for him to spend my time. He still leaves meals for me with notes and what I heard from Felix he still doesn't spend much time outside his room. I visited him in the beginning of the week with some books I thought he might like but he didn't look too happy about them.

It fueled me with insecurity for some reason. I wanted to do something nice but I'm not sure that that is how it came over to him. An insecurity I still feel right now, as he literally sits Infront of me in the mess hall.

It's mostly empty, lunch ended an hour ago. I've been restless for the whole day. Waiting for Xaden to arrive. Aethan promised he would come and get me when he arrived but that was hours ago.

Brennan looks up from the paper I slid under his nose. His brows furrowed in confusion. "Please, enlighten me, what am I looking at?" His sarcastic voice asks. He knows I'm nervous and restless, he handles it well compared to other people. "A paper?" I cringe at my own words. "Your serious." He deadpans. "What are the symbols?" He asks, his voice a little softer now.

"They're runes." I state matter of factly. "They're runes on a paper." He looks at me as if I just told him his dragon spits water instead of fire. "Runes?" He asks with raised brows "You don't know what runes are? Did precious mom keep that from you too?" I taunt slightly, which earns me a glare.

"No, I do know what they are but they are forbidden." He explains softly. "I know they are." I say a little bitter. From all the provinces, Tyrrendor suffered the most after unification. We lost our language and our culture.

"Then why write them down? You're not allowed to use them and you can't use them." There's is curiosity in his voice. "Not allowed and not being able to are two different things." I correct.

"Yes, I know that but you can't use it. You're not a dragon rider. You don't have magic." I scoff at that. Dad was right, riders are truly pricks. Their ego bigger than their dragon. "And you think you dragon riders are the only ones with magic?" I challenge with a raised brow. "Yes, there is no other way except channelling from the ground and you look pretty sane to me." For the love of the lord.

I let my eyes glow their soft red hue. It's always a thrill to show people who think they're the only ones in power that they're not. It's so much fun.

His eyes widen slightly and he opens his mouth to say something but he quickly closes it.

I blink and now eyes are back to normal. I give him a moment to process before I answer what seems to be everyone's first question. "I was born with it. No one knows where it came from as both my parents didn't carry magic nor did their ancestors." He nods slowly. "I thought you would have had at least an idea that I had something as I used it a few times when we were stuck in that cave, hiding from everyone." I continue on.

"I don't remember much for then seeing as I had come back from the dead." He says sarcastic. Fair enough. What do I know about coming back from the dead.

"What can you do with it?" He asks, motioning to my eyes that were glowing earlier. I tilt my head, it's a good question but I don't even know where to start. "It's...complicated. We never found the limits. My dad told me the first time it showed was when I was four, it was harmless. From there on it showed more and more. When I was seven colonel Mairi started teaching me runes, in the hopes that could control it somehow, she had put this rune on a necklace to keep my magic contained. When I was seventeen I lost it near the cliffs of Dralor." I start, giving him a piece of past behind it, by far not everything.

"When you're a teenager you get to that age where you just wanna discover yourself right?" He nods. "Well, I took the necklace off many times. I'd be in the woods or near the cliffs of Dralor, trying things out. I devoured the library for books that could help, I tried everything in my reach." I continue.

"And? What did you find?" He asks with a curious tone. "If I'm correct, which I'm not sure of I am. My magic comes from a source in nature or nature itself. The possibilities so far have been endless. Moving things, making shields like wards, enhanced senses. Those seem to be the most common. But with the right idea a lot more is possible. It's just...unknown. Which is scary." I finish. I left out the parts of being able to read minds. But for the sake of not freaking him out more that might be smart.

He nods again, his eyes focused on mine. He looks like he's prossessing the information. "And of course the red glowing eyes and the magic itself looks pretty amazing." I say trying to lighten the topic. He laughs softly, leaning back as he looks at me with those adoring eyes.

We stare at each other for a moment. He looks like he has a million questions, which, fair. He opens his mouth but quickly shuts it and tenses. I frown and look behind me to see Ulices walk over us.

He looks directly at me, basically ignoring Brennan's presence. My frown deepens. "Lieutenant colonel." He addresses me. Oh, that sounds weird. I shudder. I'm never gonna get used to that. "You're needed in the assembly." He says curtly. My mind instantly goes to the worst case scenarios. "Excuse me." I tell Brennan hazy. He give me a small smile but I can see the tenseness in it.

I stand up and follow Ulices. My mind spins. What if Xaden is not coming? What If House Lindell changed their mind last minute. What if they sold us out to Navarre? Will they hurt Xaden? Or worse?

My mind continues to spiral as I follow Ulices. We turn the hall to the assembly room where almost every member except for Aethan waits.

Huh?

I stop once I reach them. My brows furrow in confusion as I stare at them, waiting for an explanation. Trissa clears her throat. "Aethan is waiting for you inside." She says as she gestures to the closed door.

Nervousness and nausea coils deep in my stomach as I make my way to the door. I push on the large door handle, opening it so I fit through. I close it behind me.

Aethan leans against the table, the stress is visible on his face, which only worsens mine.

I swear I'm gonna throw up.

I open my mouth, wanting to ask him what's going on when another voice cuts me off before I can even say something.

"Hey, little sister." My heart stops and I freeze. I haven't heard that voice in more than two months.

I slowly turn around, my whole body trembling. My younger brother, leaning against our father's throne.

"Xaden." I breathe.

☆

Taglist: @honethatty12 @smashee0789 @awkardnerd @randomperson1234sblog @bangtanxberm @hyperactive-bookworm-0

[flowermiist]

A warm heart - Prologue

Click here to read new chapters... ♡

Pairing: John Price x Fem!Reader

Sypnosis: Some time ago, you started a cooking channel on YouTube as a way to relax, have a proper hobby and teach others your favorite recipes as you improved your own culinary skills too. Fame wasn’t something you wanted, you were more than happy with your 50k subscribers... Yet you never thought you’d stumble upon one of them.

Word count: 1.k

A/N: So I’m really excited since this is my very first fic... I still haven’t planned it much but I’m already working on the first chapter as I post this!! If you have any suggestions or comments please leave them below. Comments and reblogs are always so welcome and appreciated.

John had gotten back from base two days ago, he had spent nearly three months stuck in Egypt with some CIA members and his SAS team. Time there went slow, it felt like it would never end, most intel they could gather was messy but the missions were successful.

Sitting on his couch and with his already third glass of scotch, John knew his stomach wouldn’t actually settle for alcohol and a cigar – It was too late to go out, most places would already be closed by now – except for some street food carts and dingy local pubs. So now, both his exhaustion of having spent his whole day locked away in his office finishing reports and filling out documents was mixing with his empty stomach and possible upcoming migraines making him way too irritable and tired to even attempt going out and getting something – Not like he was even in the mood to do so.

If this moment had been one of the irritated man’s childhood caricatures, a lightbulb would have gone on above his head as he remembered the few basics he had gotten from the grocery store in the middle of the road on his way home while getting back home from base. The captain let out a deep grunt as he got up from the couch, grabbing the empty glass of scotch and the TV remote to turn it off and walk to his kitchen.

Opening his pantry, he only saw the basics, some canned tomato sauce and a single bag of spaghetti. John sighed as he grabbed those two ingredients and hopes that it would at least taste decent enough not to make his headache worse. Internally cursing himself for not getting more things from the store – not being home for too long did limit a lot of his comfort and meal options when it came to getting back after a long time, buying food that would expire too soon before going to work would only mess up his pantry and fridge.

When it came to cooking, he wasn’t exactly an expert. Yes, he could defend his culinary skills by making a good English breakfast and a cup of tea but besides that? Yeah, no. Yet for some reason, John didn’t want to admit the fact that he had grown too accustomed to the meals he’d get at base or the pickup he’d order whenever he was home. Almost embarrassing that an officer specialized in unconventional warfare or any kind of missions would find it more difficult to cook for himself than to deploy to the most dangerous and broken places on earth.

Luck had jumped out of his window and the spaghetti ended up tasting horrible to say the least – Was it the sauce? Was it expired? Or did John just get horrible at cooking at this point? Too tired to care, the gruff man washed the dishes and went to sleep. This culinary war wasn’t over.

The following morning was busy, the captain went out for a morning jog then continued finishing up the last reports. His house had been too quiet for his own liking because when a man like John Price has gotten too used to the chaos and noise of all the places he deploys to and filled with all kinds of people, being in his own house feels almost surreal. Almost like he doesn’t belong here, like all he can handle are the noises that will not leave him alone with his thoughts eating him alive.

His own perseverance and stubbornness did not allow him to give up when it came to cooking, he was a grown man for crying out loud! No goddamn way he could be able to handle all the things he sees in his line of work but couldn’t handle himself in the kitchen – he thought.

Closing the other tabs on his laptop, he entered YouTube. After searching for basic recipes to challenge himself, he came upon certain channel – “Y/N’s kitchen diaries.”

Not even ten minutes later, he was already taking notes and focusing on every single detail.

John had prepared one of the recipes for dinner after yet another visit to the grocerie store, a less rushed one this time and somewhere that wasn’t in the middle of an isolated road. Meticulously following every single step shown by the woman in the videos – he liked her voice, it wasn’t like one of those annoying cooking shows from TV that would be filled with ads for kitchen tools and nonsense chatter, it even felt as if he had some company with the video – “Here we have our final result.” She spoke softly as she was showing the results, John looked at her video then back at his plate – It looked and smelled good. “As you can see the chicken is juicy and the smoked paprika gives it that extra flavor. Now our broccoli has that chewy yet soft texture, I personally sprinkle some salt on top of it but that is up to your liking.” A small pause before she spoke again, by then, John was already placing the plate on the dining table before grabbing his phone as the young woman spoke the final lines of the video. “Thank you for watching – don’t forget to comment down below if you have any suggestions or any recipes you’d like me to try. Bye Bye!” – The video ended and John had a small smirk on his face, both proud of himself and amused by how well this went. He clicked on the “subscribe” button and left his phone on top of the counter, walking towards the dining table and taking a seat.

The moment you got home, you kicked off your high heels, grunting from the relief as you stomped on the floor a few times – getting that relief of your feet getting accustomed to flat ground again. Putting your purse aside, you make your way towards the kitchen where you open the fridge and take some leftovers from yesterday and place the plate in the microwave – this gives you some time to rush to your bedroom and get your laptop to continue editing one of your videos, a new lasagna recipe you had been improving and recorded a video of.

While making your way out of your bedroom, you hear the little musical alarm of the microwave going off. You wanted to record a little something to start with the next video; yet you knew you didn’t have the enough ingredients to do so and neither did you have the energy to edit and record at the same time, not tonight at least – “Will do it tomorrow…” you mumble to yourself as you open your laptop and set your plate on top of the coffee table of your living room. – “Thereee we go...” you almost moan the moment your body falls down onto the couch, finally getting some rest.

You took some time to check your channel, seeing if there was anything interesting – YouTube was the only platform you uploaded your cooking videos to as you didn’t see it as a big deal but rather a hobby you enjoyed and relaxed with, the rest of your social media was pretty much private and not about your recipes or small food vlogs. Learning how to edit videos by yourself hadn’t been an easy task – but to you, it was worth it as it helped you clear your mind and not seem too crazy while talking to yourself in front of a camera. Before starting to make videos, you talked to yourself while doing tasks, eventually it just came into your mind – Why the hell not? You wouldn’t seem too crazy if you talked to a camera and recorded things for yourself, right? It was a good reason to talk to yourself, not an excuse. Starting your channel had been a rather spontaneous decision you took two years ago with the difference that nowadays, you are more frequent with your content than you were back then.

Sighing in relief, you turn off your laptop since you had finally finished the last details of the video. You were already stripping off your clothes on your way to the bedroom, not caring about tonight’s shower but rather tonight’s rest, you’d do everything tomorrow.

[shigarakisdumbwhore]

Here Without You - Dabi/Hawks Love Triangle

A/N: This fic is inspired by this ask. I'm not sure what took me so long to write it but here we are!! So shout-out to supernatural-hunter1 for the amazing idea, thank you so much!! Possibly will be a series. Also shout-out to my sister in law, a real one. She helped proof read, gave me some ideas, and helped with the name. I love you bby gurl

Summary: You had been developing a deep crush on Dabi for quite some time. But he was difficult to get through to and know. His distant demeanor made it hard to get close to him. However, when Hawks shows up, things take a turn in a different direction than you could have imagined. Dabi doesn't know your true feelings, you don't know Hawks is a spy, and they don't know you're in love with both of them. This love triangle is about to cause lots of drama and confusion.

Words: 2,241

Warnings: None, really. Except some violence and smut in future chapters. Yet to be written though.

Taglist: @supernatural-hunter1 @desiretdeni

AO3 Link

Dabi was always the smart and cunning guy. An asshole, but let's be honest… was your taste in men ever really that great? No, that's why you were formally a part of the Paranormal Liberation Front. You were here because you weren't really smart, or were you?

If Shigaraki truly meant his promise, and succeeded, that would mean you were smart. The world would be thrown into chaos but at least you wouldn't be on the hero's side, right? Take Hawks for example. He was a new recruit, a hero under disguise. He claimed to be on the villain's side. You hadn't met him yet, but Dabi talked about him. He seemed really distrusting of him.

Sometimes Dabi just needed to let things out. He was never really a vulnerable kind of guy. Most times he just muttered whatever insults, or vented about god only knows what. You were usually that person who paid attention. The others would roll their eyes, especially Twice who talked about Hawks in a completely different perspective. The strong difference in opinions made you really want to meet this guy, just to get a feel for yourself.

Tonight was one of those nights for Dabi. He was sitting outside on a log, a little ways from the base. He had been gone too long, so you came out to look for him. He didn't move or flinch when he heard you.

"What are you doing out here?"

"Heh," he scoffed. "I'm just thinking."

"About?"

No answer. That was expected. Oddly enough, Dabi was like a foggy piece of glass. If you got up really close, you could see something on the inside, except you could never make a clear image of it. He would never tell you what was truly on his mind, but the best you could do was give him some company as support. Dabi didn't really show appreciation to you. However, he didn't yell at you or discourage you from hanging around him.

There was a long period of silence. The night was a little cold and dark. Your arms were wrapped around you as you clung to the little body warmth you had. A chilling breeze came through, rustling the trees and dead leaves throughout the forest.

"Are you cold?" A small blue flame appeared, illuminating the side of his face and hand. You smiled.

"Yeah, a little." In front of you, he sent a large flame at the ground. All the dead leaves and twigs turned into fuel for his flames. The air became dry and hot as the warmth rushed to your face in a large wave, too much for you to handle. You scooted yourself back until the heat became tolerable, but Dabi stayed right where he was. There was an extended period of silence. Only the sounds of the fire cracking, the wind in the trees, and your own breath could be heard in the night.

After some time, Dabi stood up and offered to take you back. Despite not saying much, you could see that it healed Dabi. The look on his face had changed, and his eyes looked calm. You enjoyed your time together and wondered if he did too.

It's not like you cared what Dabi thought of you. You didn't like him… kind of. You didn't really know exactly how you felt about Dabi because having a crush on Dabi was like asking for a knife to the heart. He could never be a normal boyfriend in a healthy relationship. That was asking too much from him. Really, that was too much to ask from any man who was connected to the Paranormal Liberation Front. It was best not to get involved in romance for everyone's sake.

As you laid in bed, it kept you up. What were you and Dabi? Friends? Acquaintances? Strangers? Maybe lovers? It's not like you could ask him, getting an honest answer from Dabi was like pulling teeth. But did you care? Yes, oddly enough, you cared very much. And maybe he didn't feel the same. The rejection would break you.

The next morning was hard to get out of bed. Staying up thinking all night wasn't the best idea, especially when Twice came yelling into the room. The door opened fast, slamming into the wall. You sat up in excitement.

"What? Is it an emergency?"

"No! Yes! Hawks is here and I want you to meet him badly!" He was hopping around with excitement. Finally, you had the opportunity to meet the famous Hawks.

"Okay, okay, fine. Just let me wake up a sec-"

"Sorry, am I intruding? I wasn't sure exactly where Twice was taking me."

Walking through the door was a handsome blonde man. His hair was slicked back in the front and a bit messy in the back. He had thick-winged eyes that would rival any make-up artist. His features were strong and beautiful. Behind him were two large red wings. You felt like you'd seen him before but he looked so different in person.

In your embarrassed state, you jumped up out of bed and quickly tried to fix your appearance. However, wearing your little pajamas didn't help much. This handsome guy was Hawks. A few times you had heard or seen him on television but never paid attention. You wish you did now.

"N-no, it's fine. I'm Y/N."

"Hawks," he smiled as he extended his hand out to shake yours. As you reached out to meet his hand, you could feel butterflies in your stomach. God! Why did Twice have to bring him in at such a bad time? He should have known better as your wingman. Well, literally.

However, it was confusing. As exciting as it was to meet the famous Winged Hero: Hawks that Twice raved about, how would this go when you told Dabi? Would he understand or be upset? No matter how badly you wanted to hide it, you needed his approval deep down. What would you do?

You had liked Dabi for a long time. You could simply deny it no longer, but he was so distant. And here was this handsome man delivered to your bedroom. Sure, he was a hero at one point and still technically is, but he's been truly helping the cause. Twice wouldn't speak so highly of just anyone.

"It's nice to finally meet the guy Twice goes crazy for," you said, with a hint of sarcasm in your voice.

"Likewise, he talks about you a lot too. He's just a friendly guy." His voice was smooth and charming, as well as his looks, but that wasn't entirely enough to trust him. He had a head start because of Twice, but he still needed to prove himself.

Twice gave him a thumbs up as he said, "Oh, I'm so glad you two got along. Would have been much worse if Dabi was here."

Hawks rubbed the back of his neck with a bashful look on his face. "I'm sure he'll come around."

"Pfft, good luck with that…"

"Tough to come around?"

"Yeah, you could say that. He's kind of… nevermind, it doesn't really matter. We'll just see how you hold up here."

With that, the boys left the room so you could get dressed and ready for the day. Toga came in to do your hair as she usually does. She loved doing it in different styles and you let her because it seems she never got to have a good childhood, much less a good adolescence. Sometimes she teased you about Dabi, but you always denied it.

"I'm gonna do something pretty with it so you look pretty for Dabi," she giggled. She laid across the bed and did your hair over the edge as you sat down in front of the mattress. This gave her a good overhead angle.

You held a fashion magazine in your hand, flipping the page as you sighed, "You know I don't care about that." On it was a group of girls in beautiful dresses you wish you could own. If only you didn't pick this life for yourself, maybe you could wear a nice dress like that. Maybe if things were different, Dabi could take you out on a date with those dresses. A normal date where you both went to dinner at a fancy restaurant. But why was a villain daydreaming this about another villain? It would never be that way. Life wasn't that kind.

"Mhm-hmm," she rolled her eyes as she continued. Once she was done, she grabbed a mirror from beside her to show you. You smiled as you took a good look in your reflection. She always took good care of you, making sure you looked nice and beautiful.

"Thank you, Toga." You wrapped your arm around her and gave her a little side hug from the floor. She gave you a sweet smile as you left the room, hopefully to run into Dabi. Would he like your hair? Would he even notice it?

You didn't know much about Dabi. He didn't talk about his past, wouldn't share his real name, and dodged any personal questions. It was scary not knowing anything about him, especially when you liked him so much. It shouldn't matter regardless. Dabi wasn't boyfriend material. You'd end up heartbroken… but it was nice to dream about it.

In a perfect world, wearing that dress from the magazine. You both had money to dine at a fancy restaurant in a beautiful town. It was nighttime. The restaurant was decorated with string lights outside, where the waiter seated you two. The meals were delicious. You laughed and talked together all night. Maybe he wouldn't have his burn scars. You always wondered how he got those…

From behind, you heard a familiar voice call out your name. When you turned around to see who it was, you recognized Hawks. Curious as to why he was calling out to you, you stopped. He quickly walked up to you and smiled.

"I feel like we didn't get a proper introduction with the way Twice did it, so I came to really introduce myself." He took your hand in his and brought it to his lips, planting a soft kiss on the back. "Hawks." You couldn't help the blush from rushing to your face. It must have been noticeable because he chucked.

"Wh… what was wrong with our introduction before?" It was a stupid question, you knew why. But why did he care so much about how you two met?

"I felt bad with the way Twice introduced us. Not that he meant any harm."

"No, no, he's a great guy. He's just a bit oblivious sometimes." There was a short pause of silence. "You're quite flashy and audacious," you said, in reference to his new introduction.

"Eh, it's kind of what I'm known for," he chuckled.

You took this moment to really take in his features. The way he smiled, the color of his eyes, his mannerisms. He didn't seem the type to be a villain. That made you nervous. There had been one occasion, before you joined, that Twice made the mistake of bringing someone in that didn't quite belong. But you wanted to give Twice the benefit of the doubt.

His handsome looks or charm wouldn't work on you. You'd need to know more. There had to be a reason that Dabi didn't like him, and the only way to learn was to ask. Assuming Dabi would tell you, hopefully.

For a moment, you and Hawks made some small talk. He asked for a little tour and general information on everyone. Nothing was too suspicious so you answered what you knew and what would be safe to share. As you two went along, you could see why Twice was so fond of him. But that only made it so confusing why Dabi didn't.

"What made you join?"

"I wanted to be free. I feel too tied down with all the rules and stipulations. Especially the spotlight." He looked out ahead, but seemingly at nothing.

"I get the feeling," you looked down at your feet, reminiscing, "I felt the same way too."

"At least here, you can do as you please. That's what Twice told me Shigaraki says anyway. That's how I want to live."

"That's why I felt connected to Shigaraki too. I bet it's hard for you to always have people watching you, recording you, and whatnot. You're brave for being here, even if it's in the shadows."

He turned to look at you, and smiled. It was a warm smile that melted your heart. Hawks and you seemed so alike. So if Dabi didn't like Hawks, would that mean he secretly disliked you?

Time went by too fast, accidentally spending the whole day together. Hawks was so free and fun to be around, you hadn't noticed how late it had gotten.

"I should turn in now, I enjoyed talking to you."

"Is it that late already? Wow." He pulled his sleeve up to look at his watch. "Okay though, just promise I'll see you around again sometime soon."

You chuckled and blushed as you two went separate ways. You felt different inside. For the first time, you felt seen by a guy. Today went almost like those dreams with Dabi. It was strange. However, you decided to bury those feelings as you went inside your room to rest.

Reblogs are appreciated <3

Chapter Two

[wanderingblindly]

The new October Birds chapter is lovely (and you are too for writing such a gorgeous fic)!

Any behind the scenes information you want to share about it? Sentences that didn't make it in or oscar POV moments that can't get told from the fic's POV?

- Snippet Anon

(october birds)

oh my goodness thank you so much darling! Chapter two was one that I initially felt very little confidence in (I think I sent it to like, three people to see if the vibe matched the first one even remotely), so the response it's garnered has absolutely floored me. I literally cannot say thank you enough 😭💖

There were fewer things that stumped me in ch2 than in ch1, thank fuck lol. But there's one scene that I really did struggle with, and one key Oscar moment I haven't seen anyone comment on yet!

New Years

Ok so when I was originally picturing the new years scene, I wanted it to be with small fireworks on the beach. Then I rubbed my two (2) braincells together and realized that A) Perth is literally not near the beach at all for the sake of a midnight trip B) fireworks are super illegal in Tas. So that was very fun for me.

That then posed a big question of 'where the fuck are they meant to go?'.

At first I considered seeing if they could reasonably find a viewpoint of the Launceston or Hobart fireworks shows, since those are close enough to be feasible. But then I was like 'fuck, Lando had the anxiety moment about not going into the city, idk if there's really a place that would be isolated enough AND in view of the fireworks'.

After spending a lot of time on google maps, I found a viewpoint that was quite lovely: Max's Lookout in Nunamara, Tasmania. It's about a 40 minute drive away, and I could embellish the details to sell The Fantasy that I was picturing -- delightful!

In terms of the actual Event, the parts that I rewrote the most were the details around Oscar offering Lando his hand. It was difficult to both keep the "swept up in the moment" feeling and emphasize the tentativeness, the hesitation. I struggled a lot with figuring out how Lando would feel in that moment, especially because he'd technically already touched Oscar's hand before in Feast -- was this different enough for him to be affected? Was it similar enough to feel familiar? Was it scary, exciting, unremarkable?

Oh, and I had to google how to open a beer bottle with another bottle + your heel; I knew it was possible, I've just never had beer before lol.

Oscar and Lando's "Anxiety Attack"

Oscar's eyes flick overhead, taking in the fiery orange blossoms hanging from above. His under-eyes are more hollow than usual, the blue tint almost leaning purple in the early-morning light.

Oscar heard Lando in the kitchen.

In a different version of the scene, I actually had Oscar come out and try to help Lando, but then I realized it was far too early. Chapter 2 Lando is only beginning to peek out of his shell -- any intense display of emotion embarrasses him, he tries to talk himself out of them and pretend "it's fine" or that it's something he'll make himself "get over". Having Oscar come in at that point would have been mortifying for Lando, and waaaaaay more vulnerable than he's willing to be.

Of course I could decide that as the writer, but what was Oscar thinking about?

I have a really strong image of Oscar waking up to the sound of Lando's door closing, or maybe him falling against the oven door more forcefully than he thought (Lando's not the most reliable narrator at that point). And as Oscar jumps to go see what's happened, he hears it -- Lando's sobbing, his panic.

His hand would hover over the door handle.

At this point, based on what Oscar knows, Lando's clinically standoffish. He's clearly upset, but he doesn't want to say why -- even though he didn't deny his assertion that he wants someone to ask.

But would going and asking now be too much too soon? Too little too late? If he makes the wrong decision now, is he going to lose whatever opening Lando's worked open thus far?

He chooses not to go because he doesn't want to risk over stepping, but he can't sleep once he's heard it; Oscar gets as little sleep that night as Lando, and that's why he was awake so early. He heard him leave for his run.

There were a few specific things I cut from this chapter that I miiiiiight repurpose later, so I'll keep those to myself, just in case :)

[allwormdiet]

Extermination 8.7

In which nobody is happy and everything is pain

Wuh oh, the worst chapter of Taylor's life has just received a series of footnotes that provide further context, and none of them are making her feel any better

And now things are getting even worse

Hey Colin, looks like you've lost some weight, trying something new with the asymmetrical look?

Also I like how even Taylor's paranoid ass is like "no you know what, they didn't need to know Sophia was a superhero for them to fuck me over"

Really copping it up in here, huh you two?

This is bad for everybody. A supervillain who's taken explicit actions against the PRT and Protectorate has discovered the identity of a Ward, and a teenage girl is being surrounded and lambasted by adults who could make her life Hell with very little effort.

God, Birdcage would be nightmarish, especially with Lung in there probably nursing the mother of all grudges

Also, interesting that Taylor changing her mind translates to Armsmaster as her being a master manipulator and spinner of lies. There's no possible way that she stopped trying to be a hero because he acted like a gigantic asshole the second time they met or something.

Skitter has gotten the absolute worse perspective that the heroes can offer, so she's suffering a biased stance here, but even without that her anti-authority streak is way too strong to tolerate it for long

Don't throw a fucking shitfit, Colin

You're an adult, fucking act like one

Yaaaaaaay, the crew's alright and they're backing Skitter up, there's no way this immediately blows up

Grue is making himself look bigger in this moment, scarier, more authoritative. If I'm understanding right that means he's way on the fucking edge about all of this and feeling tense and a little scared.

Glad Regent got out of it with only some stitches, wonder if that cut is anything noteworthy or if he just got gouged by some glass or shrapnel or something

Bitch is handling things about as well as could be expected

Hey Tattletale, glad you're not dead

Oh boy!

Sophia would fucking lunge across the tent and go for the murder attempt then and there, I'm pretty sure

Also, Legend is technically right, insofar as Taylor has made a lot of situations more difficult by digging her heels in

Unfortunately, he would.

Look at her getting her little debut to the Protectorate leader

The greatest asset and weakness of the Protectorate: image

These people are about to get their shit rocked by a teenager with access to a PA system and I'm not convinced they didn't bring this on themselves

Also, love an ultimatum, very heroic

Tattletale you're so cool and real for this

We love an ultimatum, very villainous

Colin, you dumbfuck

I think the most damning part of this conversation is that Miss Militia literally doesn't have any trouble connecting the dots

There's the setup

And there's the knockdown. Armsmaster has once again been outplayed by a teenager, and now the best thing to do is probably to quit while he's behind

So of course he decides to double and triple down

Let's review facts here

Armsmaster is a grown-ass man who is really upset that a pack of teenagers are beating him

He has admitted, out loud, that he broke truce conditions and got villains killed in order to try and get a moment of glory

He knows full well that at least two of the Undersiders have killed before and may kill again if suitably motivated, such as, I don't know, finding out a teammate tried to betray them

So with everything in consideration

he throws a tantrum that could get a girl killed because of wounded pride

This hurts, a lot

Also hey early hint that Tattletale knows what's up

Panacea like "wow this girl is some kind of disaster, thank god my worldview guarantees that I'm way better than her"

Also Jesus fucking Christ what a way to end the chapter

Current Thoughts

God fucking dammit Colin, you could literally get a teenager killed because you had to throw a fucking tantrum over how you got your kill stolen and your super cool plan to win glory and recover lost pride got foiled by the common fucking sense of "you can't kill an Endbringer"

I know that isn't what happens, but hey guess what he doesn't know Taylor's story goes for another twenty-plus chapters, he's willing to roll those dice because his feewings got huwt

I hope they make him choke on whatever book ends up thrown at him for this

[blurglesmurfklaine]

4, 7, 9, 12 for the ask game <3 (all glee if possible)

Yay, thanks for these Crys! 7 was previously answered so I went ahead and skipped it :)

4. say something nice about a ship you don't ship (it can be another ship in your fandom, a mutual's OTP, etc)

I don’t ship St. Berry, but I am of the opinion that if it couldn’t be Finn, I’m glad it was Jesse. He and Rachel really are two sides of the same coin and they seem to love each other very deeply and I hope they’re happy together!

9. a ship that isn't your OTP but that you enjoy

Samcedes 😭 they are my emotional support heterosexuals your honor. But also, they are two genuinely good people who care deeply about one another samcedes you will always be endgame to me

12. compliment someone else in your fandom

Okay this is gonna be a lot because I AM going to do all the active fandoms I’m in! So under the read more!

Glee:

First of all you, Crys! And @backslashdelta You are both so talented with your gif making that it kind of drives me insane.

@kurtsascot is probably one of the most talented writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of interacting with. I feel so lucky that we’ve gotten her so late in the game! I feel similarly about @rockitmans and @thelegendofjenna

@esilher @twinkkurt and @justgleekout make the most BEAUTIFUL fanart I’ve ever seen, and I also wanna thank @carsonphillips for klainegifs and keeping the fandom interesting with their events!

@somefeministtheatrepls is not only an amazing friend but the most thoughtful beta reader and honestly partner in my writing?? Writing is much less stressful because I don’t even worry about things being clunky or weird because I know her ass will help that chapter SHINE

@nancysgillians @kurthummeldeservesbetter also get shoutouts because they are wonderful people to have in your life

Newsies:

I could fill novels with how much I love and appreciate @somanywords! Their amazing storytelling and also volunteering to make art for the MiniBang I hosted earlier this year??? On top of listening to my insane ramblings?? They don’t make em like this anymore folks

@one-paper-bag is also SOOOOOO incredibly talented with their art, and their lovely comments on my Spider-Man AU keep me going (on GOD we are gonna get you another chapter ON GOD!!!!)

@livesincerely and @agentsnickers are some of the most prolific and INSANELY TALENTED writers I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, and also genuinely lovely people! You know when you see someone on your dash and ur just like “wow. I hope they are having a FANTASTIC day and life. They deserve one.”

@piedoesnotequalpi and @regina-cordium are also so incredibly FUNNY and have the most correct takes on every single newsie and that’s on that ❤️

911:

I’m relatively new to this fandom, so I don’t know a ton of people yet, but there are def people I see on my dash that I have noticed!

@cranberrymoons @lesbianrobin @insertlovelyperson have written some of my absolute FAAAAAAVE fics! I feel like they really have a handle on who the characters are in a way that’s true to the show and kind of difficult to pull off!

@texasbama makes amazing gifs and honestly anytime I see her on my dash I laugh bc genuinely she’s so funny. Also on the list of hilarious contributors is @buckgettingstruck

And a couple of people who I think have genuinely great vibes are @buckera @leathercouchcushion and @yaz-the-spaz

And of course I can’t talk about 911 without a second mention to @regina-cordium who puts up with all my Texas!Buddie nonsense andbansndbsk

-

Okay yeah so that was a LOT sorry!! I didn’t mean for it to get so long BUT I do mean every single word! I’m really blessed to have met so many amazing people through fandom and my experience on this site has been nothing less than superb because of yall ❤️

[smitethestate]

Sorry if it's weird to ask you this but you're one of the only people I know to ask.

I'm very afraid of project 2025 and a national abortion ban. What do I do?

It's not weird to ask, I know some things on these topics.

One thing to remember is that those absurd Senate filibuster rules are still in place. Even with a red House and Senate, it will be very difficult for Republicans to pass any major national legislation because the Democrats in the Senate will filibuster. A national abortion ban will be virtually impossible.

Project 2025 is a different beast. But there are a lot of actions you can take to fight or protect yourself. I recommend trans folks who want to or are currently transitioning to look into DIY hormones as soon as possible, and stockpile anything you can get.

First and foremost, learn about Project 2025. There are already a lot of analyses out there, including what to expect to go into effect first and what are the biggest threats.

Figure out what you need to do to protect yourself before you look to help others. If you can help others, figure out how you're best suited to help. Who are the most vulnerable in your area? What are your skill sets?

Then look to community wherever you can, online and/or off. Mutual aid groups are everywhere. There are already organizations dedicated to helping undocumented migrants and stopping deportations. If you can't handle joining up with something, do what you can online. If you can't handle that either, you need to take care of yourself more.

Remember that you can't fill other people's cups if your own is empty.

For now, allow yourself to be scared and know you won't always feel that way. Hold on to the people in your life. Take deep breaths. Remember how many good people are in the world. Let yourself feel anger, despair, and whatever comes up, and let it wash through you and then out.

Anyone with additional tips and resources, feel free to add to this.

Things are bad and will get worse, but nothing is over as long as any of us remain alive. You can't help everyone, but helping one single person means everything to that person. Focus on what you can do and don't fall into the fantasy that you can or ever could save the world yourself. This is advice based on my own experience. If you have more specific questions, you can ask or message me.

[trainpassengers]

I saw that on you last post you mentioned sea fairy and moonlight cookie from crk. That brought a question in mind: What is your favorite character in crk and what's your favorite ship in the game.

P.S(another question): Is Hermes going to make an appearance in the story ? I really like the plot so far and can't wait for the next update. Anyway have a good night/day :DDDDD

Good morning! Ahh, Cookie Run Kingdom. I haven’t played that game ever since that BTS collaboration, I get nostalgic thinking about it. Luckily, I keep up with the lore thanks to my mutuals and my little brother😊

To answer your question, I would say that my favorite cookie/character in the game would be Affogato Cookie or Sorbet Shark Cookie. They both are so cute and Affogato might be a heavy implication of what type of characters I like a lot— *stares at the other pretty emo I am currently writing a story about*

Now, for my favorite ship!🥳 I remember this ship being so popular back in 2020, and now it’s not as popular anymore. Wow. As much as I value Sea Fairy Cookie x Moonlight Cookie, my number one ship has to be ChocoMilk/DarkMilk (Dark Choco Cookie x Milk Cookie). They are so wholesome, I used to fan over those two so much and I still value them to this day hehe.

Before getting to the big question, I am truly grateful you and many readers are eager to see the next update. 🥹 I promise, I am working slowly but hard on making it come true!

We finally have arrived at the juicy question: Hermes’s appearance in Terrestrial Inquiry.

To be frank, yes! He will definitely make an appearance in the story. With my editor’s permission, I am happy to say he will be mentioned once more and finally make a small but meaningful appearance in a chapter soon before Chapter 20. Can’t say which chapter precisely 😅

Also, since 2025 has not been my year, I would like to also give some context to my readers about the gods who will be re-entering Macaque’s life and problems. Something to prepare yourselves for in the following chapters of complicated feelings and relationships…

Most of the gods that are/soon-to-be written along with Macaque’s adventures with Ben in the past… are very different in the future/present. They have changed for the better and sometimes for the worse. Just like how Inari used to be a passionate and kind god, loving to anyone, they are now distant and difficult to agree with when they want to remain in denial many times.

The same thing will apply to the next FIVE gods who will make an appearance under five chapters that are 20k+ words each! One or two will not be a surprise to most. As for the other three, *ahem* possibly our goofy speedster, they will act differently for specific reasons. 😬

Who knows? Many people’s defense mechanisms are to lock themselves away in denial or to lash out at anyone they care about. Others do it because they feel like they are deserving of no love. Coping is natural and takes time.

But for these gods, something they have forgotten to take into account many times is how Macaque’s opinion on their hurtful reactions will be. It is a personal blow for someone who is stuck in the past and can't bring himself to move on just yet. It’ll hurt more to see his face of disappointment than the amount of pain they were so confident they could handle before committing the deed.

Anyways… Thank you so much for your amazing questions~ I tend to go off the rails and word vomit too much, hopefully, this satisfies your curiosity 🩵 Have a wonderful rest of your day/night!🫶🌟

[twistedminutia]

A Million and One Minutia: Weaponry and Warfare

Gray teaches Rook and Jade about weapons and world wars.

Read the rest of the chapters here and crossposted to AO3 here.

There’s a little section of woods near Ramshackle. It’s nice to go walking there, now that it’s starting to get warm again. Grim agrees with me, but I think that it’s because there’s a lot of apple trees. He spends most of his time snacking.

It’s approaching evening now, though, so I call out to him. “You’re going to spoil your appetite for dinner.”

He chomps down on another apple. I don’t know how he’s eaten three of them so far- he’s not that big himself. “What are we having?”

“I dunno. The noodles again, I guess.” Sam had a sale on instant noodles last time I was in the shop, and those things are cheap as hell anyway, so I stocked up. I add some vegetables and things, so it’s not like I’m eating just pure ramen every night. But it is kind of repetitive.

Grim sags. “I want something else!”

“You’re free to cook,” I say.

“Nuh uh! I can’t reach the stove!” he complains.

“I’ll get you a stool. You can stand on a chair,” I offer. Grim glares. Admittedly, I can see how difficult it would be for him. He’s clumsy enough with a pen, sometimes just using one of his claws dipped in ink to write. I don’t know how he would handle knives. Though, maybe he could just use his claws for that, too?

“We’ve already had noodles four days in a row! I don’t want-”

“Trickster! Four days of instant noodles?”

The voice comes from somewhere above and behind me. I whip around just in time to see someone leap out of a tree. I know who it is before he lands, though. Only one person calls me ‘trickster.’

“Rook! You about gave me a heart attack!” I complain. Rook straightens with a cheery smile, hands held up.

“Excusez-moi, trickster!” he says. “It was not my intent to give you a fright!”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Sure.” It’s not that I don’t believe him, but he always seems to get a kick out of sneaking up on people. Grim glares at him from behind my legs. “Why are you out here, anyway?”

Rook hefts a bow. “Target practice, of course!” Oh, there is a quiver of arrows slung over his back. “The woods provide a quiet, meditative place to focus on the simple wonder of hitting a target.”

“Not when there are people walking around!” Grim huffs. “What if you’d hit us?”

“I assure you, Monsieur Peluche, I am very careful with my aim,” Rook says. “A good huntsman is aware of all things in his surroundings.” He turns, gesturing widely toward the bushes. “As I am aware of you, Monsieur Prémédité!”

There’s a moment of silence, then some undergrowth rustles and Jade emerges from behind a tree. He’s smiling, but that somehow only makes him look creepier. Especially with his sharp teeth- why didn’t the transformation potion make them human? Then again, Idia has them, so maybe they’re kind of normal here? Weird.

“Hello all,” Jade says. “I was merely performing some activities for the Mountain Lovers’ club.” He holds up a bundle of mushrooms in his fist.

“Myah!” Grim’s eyes lock onto them. “Hey! Scouting for edibles is part of the Gastronomy club’s activities! You hafta share!”

Jade’s smile gets wider. “Hm. I do suppose these are technically edible.” He moves his hand a little more toward Grim. “Perhaps I could spare a few.”

Like Jade would ever offer any of his forageables for free. “Are they safely edible?” I ask, nudging Grim back with my foot.

“Possibly,” Jade says. “I was thinking Grim would be a very good volunteer…”

“I’m not being your Guinea pig!” Grim protests, fur spiking.

“Ah, well. There are potions I could use to determine if they are toxic,” Jade says.

“There were potions and you were still thinking about using me?” Grim yelps.

“Don’t you think you’d get in trouble if you poisoned a student?” I ask. Jade gives his ‘technically polite but factually shady’ smile.

To be fair to him, there seems to be a certain laxness around poisons on campus. You’d think that a high school would be careful about letting their teenage students access poisons, but Vil literally had to make a poison to become housewarden. For alchemy, we literally have a whole unit on famous poisons and the techniques used to create them. Pomefiore literally has a poison garden. Admittedly, no one can go in there without Vil’s permission, the poison ingredients in the botanical garden and the alchemy workshop are strictly regulated by Crewel, and there are spells in place to alert faculty if anyone tries to enter those areas without permission, but come on. There have to be ways for students to get around those. I’ve already thought of a couple.

“Speaking of toxic substances,” Rook cuts in, “Roi du Poison would be most displeased if he were to find you were eating instant noodles every night!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not living in Pomefiore anymore, so I don’t have Vil covering my food bills,” I say. The food budget is technically less tight now that I don’t have to spend most of our money on repairs, but I save at every opportunity. I have no idea if Crowley will let us stay on campus over the summer, which is rapidly approaching, and even if he does, I have no idea what the food situation will be then. Sam might not keep his store open when there’s only one student around to make purchases. And I don’t trust him to come up with a way to get me home before the end of the school year.

“Perhaps you could learn to hunt if you lack the funds for better meals,” Rook suggests, eyes bright.

“There are always employment opportunities available at the Mostro Lounge,” Jade suggests, one hand pressed to his chest. “I’m certain Azul would be willing to cut you a very generous deal.”

I notice that he doesn’t mention who the deal would be generous to, but Grim speaks up before I can. “No way! I’m never working there again!” He practically claws at his face. “There’s so much food there and they don’t let you eat any of it!”

“You can purchase some food on your breaks, if you’d like to eat,” Jade says in a serenely practiced customer service voice. “We offer a generous 5% off deal for all our employees.”

I wonder if he knows that just saying something is generous doesn’t actually make it generous. Or maybe he figures that if he just says it enough, people will start believing it. I turn to Rook. “Do you hunt on campus?” I have a way-too-vivid image of Rook skinning one of the rabbits I’ve seen on campus in the Pomefiore basement.

He sweeps his hat off his head to place it over his heart. “Alas, I am not allowed to set up snares on campus, nor would Vil allow me to have a proper butchery station set up in our dorm. But there are many ways one can hunt for food on campus.” He pulls out his bow and nocks an arrow. “Observe!”

The arrow flies up into the canopy, vanishing in a flurry of pink leaves. I hear a dull thunk, then the arrow drops back out of the tree, impaled on a thick, juicy peach.

“Oh. Thanks, Rook.” I’m not sure I want to eat a peach that’s just had his arrow in it- look, he takes care of his stuff, but I still don’t know where that’s been. Grim clearly has no similar concerns, though, because he charges forward with nary a thank you to start munching. “So, when you said hunting, you really meant foraging.”

“There are many similarities between hunting and foraging,” Rook says. “Both of them involve a keen knowledge of your target’s characteristics, the ability to identify likely locations for it to appear, and the sharpness of eyes to pick it out. And then there is the wonderful beauté of consuming the food you catch for yourself.”

“Yes, I as well find a certain satisfaction to eating the mushrooms I find,” Jade says. “Though I do find it doesn’t have the same thrill as an undersea hunt. There’s nothing quite like knowing you might become the hunted at any moment.”

“Ah, I could not agree more! There is also beauté to hunts with a risk!” Rook crows. I take a few seconds to reflect on the sort of people NRC attracts. They’re all amazingly weird. Then I remember that I somehow got here too. I wonder what that says about me.

As Rook speaks about the grandeur of hunting or something, I look at his bow. I don’t really know a lot about bows, at least not the kind used for shooting arrows. I shot one a couple of times at camp as a kid, but I was never any good at it, and they were more the sort of angular, plastic sports bows you see in the Olympics. Rook’s bow is all smooth wood, the classic shape you’d see in a movie, with elegant painted designs near where the arrow nocks. Speaking of the arrows, they’re not the metal, dull-tipped things I’d used at camp. They’re wood, fletched in white feathers, and tipped with real arrowheads. All the modern arrows I’ve seen have small points at the end instead.

“Admiring my bow and arrow, trickster?” Rook asks merrily.

I jump. I have to stop doing that. “It’s very ornate,” I say. “I’ve never seen anything like it. Not in real life, anyway. Just in movies.”

Rook puffs his chest up a little. “Yes, it is quite a stunning piece of craftsmanship, is it not? They say it is a near-replica to the bow the Fairest Queen’s loyal hunter used in legend.” He tilts the bow in his hands, a deep fondness in his gaze. “They say he hunted both for the queen’s meals with this bow, as well as her enemies!” That’s kind of weird to me, but Rook only looks more dreamy. “Ah, to both provide sustenance and safety with the same weapon… such beauté! Merveilleux!”

Jade moves closer, swinging around Rook. Even though he’s on land and walking, there’s something about the way he moves that reminds me of a slender eel carving through the waves and settling to loom behind someone. “They say the Sea Witch herself had loyal companions who sought out those in desperate straits. Those two companions were her dearest friends, and they served her for their entire lives.”

“Truly,” Rook sighs, “it is a sign of a merveilleux leader to inspire such devotion from her companions!”

I ignore them as they twitter about their favorite Great Seven members like kids about their celebrity crush. Grim hops over to the bow and I watch as he examines it. “So this is how humans hunt, huh?”

“How else would we do it?” I ask.

“With magic, of course!” Grim puffs out a little bit of fire. I don’t want to think about him trying to hunt with that- he’d burn a whole forest down just to get at one rabbit. Then again, I’ve seen him use much more directed magic trying to hunt fish in a lake- he didn’t succeed, but it was more directed.

“Not everyone has magic, Grim.” In fact, most of the world doesn’t, which was a surprise to learn. I don’t know if I got really lucky or really unlucky for just happening to land on the campus of the most powerful young mages in the entire world. At least if I landed in some remote farming village, I probably wouldn’t have to run from overblots every month.

“But Rook has magic! Why doesn’t he just use that?”

“Magic certainly has its own charm,” Rook says, abruptly cutting back into the conversation, “but using a bow and arrow gives a greater connection to your target. The physical exertion of the bowstring, the precision of nocking the arrow, the moment of magnifique tension before the arrow releases… ah, it is the height of beauté!”

“I don’t get it,” Grim huffs.

“No, he has a point,” Jade muses, all sharp-toothed smiles. “There is something delightfully intimate about the physical. Though I must say, I prefer using my own strength rather than that of a weapon.”

I take one step away from Jade. I’m trying not to be obvious about it, but he definitely sees it. Rook just laughs. “Yes, as is befitting an eel merfolk such as yourself! Ah, to watch such a marvel with my own eyes...” He looks straight-up dreamy. Jade doesn’t look unsettled, exactly, but his smile did get sharper.

“I tried shooting a bow in camp when I was younger,” I say, mostly to defuse Jade from maybe killing Rook. “I was never very good at it, though.”

Rook swoops on that like a bird of prey. “I am only too happy to teach you, trickster! My job as a seeker of beauty is not only to find it, but to share it! And what is more beautiful than the thrill of the hunt?”

I can think of many things. Including not being watched by Jade, who’s wearing an expression like he’s seeing two clever birds figure out how to open a candy bar. Amused, but also kind of condescending.

Rook either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. “What did you learn about hunting at this camp of yours?” he asks as he picks up his bow and arrows. “I shall need to know how basic the lesson begins.”

I don’t even remember agreeing to a lesson, but Rook and Jade are looking at me expectantly. Rook looks eager. Jade looks more like he’s waiting for me to hurt myself so he can snap photos. “Uh. I didn’t learn a lot. And it wasn’t really a hunting lesson- we didn’t hunt in camp. And even if we did, no one hunts with a bow and arrow. They’d use a rifle.”

Grim’s ears rotated. “What’s a rifle? Can we get one?”

“It’s a gun, Grim,” I say. “And I’m completely certain we can’t have one.”

“There is something to be said for the hunting prowess of a rifle,” Rook muses. “Though even when it’s powered by my own magic, I find it misses the je ne se quoi of a bow!”

“Powered by magic?” I repeat. I guess that makes sense, that their guns would be magic. The Charons and Ortho all use ‘technomantic beams.’ Having a portable version makes sense.

“Oh, oui, trickster, you would use the more traditional, bullet-based guns,” Rook says. “They are quite interesting! I personally have a few in my collection at home, and there are plenty of those who still swear by them. Magical rifles are far more common now.”

“Even for people who don’t use magic?” I ask. Rook lifts a hand to his chin, head tilted a little. His hat doesn’t so much as shift- the feather just bobs.

“I believe the initial versions of such weapons were mage-only. It pulled on a mage’s own magic, funneling it into a powerful blast. But modern versions of the weapon have been designed for non-magical users.”

“How does that work?” I ask.

“Alas, I have not studied the specifics of such weapons- as I’ve said, I prefer a more analog form of hunting,” Rook sighed. “Je suis désolée, trickster.”

“Modern magical weapons have charging ports that can draw magical energy out of the environment around them when connected to a particular device.” Rook and I turn our heads toward Jade. His sharp, unsettling smile never leaves his face. “It’s a similar process to how mages refill our reserves.”

Suspicion lifts the fur along Grim’s spine. “How d’ya know that?”

Jade smiles wider. “Land weapons are so fascinating. Ranged weapons are less efficient underwater- we utilize crossbows and spear guns, of course, but even magic rifles tend to have mechanisms that fail underwater.”

I can’t decide whether or not to be worried about Jade (and presumably Azul and Floyd, by extension) having a lot of knowledge in weaponry. On one hand, I can’t think of people I’d trust less with it. On the other hand, they already have magic, so it can’t possibly make them that much more dangerous.

“Admittedly, technomantic weaponry is not often used for hunting,” Rook says, dragging the conversation back to where it started. “It tends to lack… cleanliness, shall we say!”

I think about what the technomantic beams did to Ramshackle. Then apply that to a living being. Then wince. There must be some way to moderate the power output, because the same beams that blasted my dorm to shreds only knocked everyone else out. I say as much.

“Technomantic magic can be brought down to lower levels to render people unconscious rather than dead,” Jade says. “Though being a powerful mage means that some of the energy from a technomantic beam is absorbed. A beam that’s powerful enough to stun a high-level mage will do much worse to a non-mage.”

My stomach turns. At Ramshackle and STYX, I thought the others were protecting me out of a sense of obligation. I couldn’t defend myself, since I couldn’t use magic, so they needed to stand in the way. Learning that the beams would have actually done worse damage to me than them puts the whole thing in a slightly different context.

“Technomantic beams are a versatile weapon! One of the few that can reliably stun with no lasting damage,” Rook says. “Such a factor makes technomantic pistols the primary weapon for law enforcement.”

“That does sound better than just giving cops normal guns,” I say. “I guess maybe it’s a bit like arming them with Tasers.”

“What are those?” Jade asks, mismatches eyes focused with curiosity.

“Uh, like these devices that shoot electricity. Well, electrified wires. But they’re still dangerous because they could give someone a heart attack,” I say. “We don’t really have any weapons that could knock someone out without seriously hurting them. I guess magic’s pretty handy for things like that.”

“Technomantic weapons are rare under the water,” Jade muses. “And something using electricity like that would also be ineffective.” He shrugs. “Our law enforcement is primarily trained in hand-to-hand combat. And those that can use magic are trained in that was well.” He grins. “Though there are ways to evade both of those, if you’re looking for it.”

He always looks so happy when he’s saying creepy things. It makes it even harder to not be scared of him. I hope my expression is at least neutral instead of piss-scared. “I guess you guys never invented things like torpedoes?”

“They would need to be built and kept in an air-filled, watertight space,” Jade says. “Quite difficult for most merfolk.”

It would be hard to have jobs that require you to take transformation potions just to do them. “It feels like that might be kind of dangerous, though. If all you have are close-range weapons, what would happen if you got into a fight with humans? Or any of the people who live on land?” I have the horrific image of submarines sending torpedoes into helpless schools of little merkids.

Jade just smiles. Wide and sharp. Something crawls up my spine. Grim presses closer to my legs. “How touching. Are you worried for us?”

“A war with the merfolk may not be as simple as you may believe, trickster!” Rook laughs. “Many trade routes still pass by way of l’océan, and much of that trade is based on the goodwill of the sea dwellers!”

Oh. So try to take out the merfolk and they take out your economy. Makes sense. “Has there ever been an actual war before?” I ask.

“Between merfok and those on land? There have been times of tension, but not full on war.” Jade looks thoughtful. “They say the Sea Witch assisted in helping unite the merfolk and humans at one point in her life. Perhaps her influence has remained until today.”

“Huh,” I say. “I guess there’s never been a true world war, then.”

Grim’s ears prick up. I read identical expressions, confusion and surprise on Rook and Jade’s faces. Dammit. Explanation time. “Yes, we’ve had world wars. No, I’ve never experienced them. No, it wasn’t exactly the entire world, but it was most of it. There were only two, they ended like, sixty years before I was born, and they sucked for everyone.” I sigh. “Does that answer the questions?”

“Ma parole, trickster!” Rook hold his hands up, eyes wide. “Your whole world was engaged in a war?”

“Like I said, it wasn’t the entire world, it was just most of it. And most of the fighting was kind of restricted to a few areas. I think it was mostly in Europe? Like, my country sent soldiers over there, but there wasn’t any fighting on our soil, mostly, except that one time when there was. I think. We were doing ancient history in class when I got pulled here, I don’t remember much of the world wars. Except the genocide, because everyone remembers that part.”

Jade and Rook just stare at me. Blank, bewildered expressions. I sigh. “Never mind. I guess you haven’t had any world wars?”

“Non. The most recent war was technically a scuffle in the Shaftlands, but it was resolved quickly. The most recent war of significance involved humans and fairies. To my knowledge, no war has ever become so significant as to involve the entire world!” Rook shakes his head. “Your world is quite a fascinating place, trickster.” There’s a note of wariness to his voice now. Even Jade seems a bit unsettled, his eyes tightening at the corners. Neither of them have ever experienced a war that big. If the stuff we’re learning in history class is true, they’ve never been in a war, period.

“How does a war grow to capture the entire world?” Jade asks. His voice is quiet and thoughtful, almost like he’s posing the question to himself. But his eyes are locked on me, laser-focused.

I don’t want to tell him, but there’s no way he could use the information negatively. Right? “Treaties, mostly. I think that’s what we learned in history class. One country attacked another country, so every country the second country had treaties with started to attack the first country. And then everyone allied with the first country started attacking all the other countries, and so on until the entire world was fighting.”

“Treaties,” Jade muses. “So people coming to one another’s defense ended in a brawl.” He looks thoughtful again. “Fascinating.”

“To see an entire world engulfed in the flames of war… I can only imagine how terrifying it must have been!” Rook shakes his head.

“It was pretty bad. There was a lot of, uh, pretty nasty fighting in there. Most of the first war was just people sitting across the field from one another, going weeks at a time to gain a couple inches of land while they picked each other off with cannons and guns. And poison, sometimes, just flooding the fields. And then there was the mass bombing of cities, which was also pretty not good.”

Jade and Rook look a bit put off. “Why bother fighting like that?” Jade asks. He’s actually not smiling anymore, his mouth set into a slightly downturned line. “It seems inefficient.”

“It was. But everyone just kept fighting. It was all just a lot of people dying to claim tiny pieces of land. I don’t even remember how it ended. I just know that it eventually did.”

Rook makes a small sound of disapproval. Jade frowns. Both of them look like they’ve heard something they’re not sure how to process.

They have the same level of technology here, plus magic. They could have a world war- with the tech I saw in STYX, they could have a massive world war. Why don’t they?

Maybe it’s because of that technology that they try to keep the peace. We were talking about guns, but mages don’t need them, do they? Riddle has more destructive power than a gun in his little finger. Leona can turn things to sand. With his mind. Even Grim, cute little fuzzball that he is, could burn down a building with little to no effort. By accident, even.

Maybe that’s why no one wants to start a war. Do all the weapons in the world matter if a random mage can break into your capitol building and immolate your entire government? Heck, get Jamil and Ruggie on the case and suddenly your president is doing whatever they want. Every mage is like a walking bomb- how do you even stop them? From what I’ve gathered, anti-magic technology is expensive and uncommon. If you start a war, how long until that country’s mages are knocking down your door- and how much collateral do you get when defending yourself.

The world isn’t peaceful, necessarily. There aren’t any better people here. It’s just that they’re in a perpetual state of cold war. Because if you bring mages into a conflict, things get messy. Fast.

I try not to shiver. I don’t quite succeed. I don’t think about it most of the time, but sometimes, I can’t help but remember how much more powerful everyone here is than I am.

“Hey, Rook,” I say. “You were going to teach me how to shoot?”

“Oui, trickster!” Rook says, perking up instantly. “I’m afraid this bow is not properly sized for you, but you should be able to learn the basics on it.” Jade continues hovering nearby, moving around us in a slow circle. It’s hard to ignore him. He looms. Grim stays near my feet, maybe hoping I’ll shoot down another peach for him.

“Nock the arrow, like so,” Rook says, guiding his hands along mine. “Your left hand stays on the bow itself, and then you settle the arrow into place along the string, then pull back.”

I place my fingers on the bowstring and pull back. The string bites into the soft skin of my fingertips and as soon as I try to move the string, my arm trembles. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be- Jade starts snickering behind me.

“C’mon, hench-human!” Grim puffs. “Shoot me a peach!”

My arms strain against the bow. My left shoulder twinges as I move it, trying to get a better position. “It’s a lot harder than it looks!” My arms tremble, muscles screaming, and I release the string. The arrow goes a full six inches forward before clattering into the dirt.

Jade’s snickering becomes louder. Grim yowls in disappointment. “Hench-human! Were you even trying?”

“Like I said. Harder than it looks.” I massage my left shoulder as Rook picks the arrow up.

“Tres bien, trickster! Not bad for your first attempt. This bow is perhaps a bit out of your draw weight, but a properly sized bow and we may make a chasseuse out of you!” Rook seems undaunted by my poor performance, which is at least nice of him. “In the meantime, I would suggest strength training exercises. One cannot hold a bow without steady arms and a steadier core.”

“Thanks, Rook. I’ll think about it,” I say.

“Even if you do not continue to hunt, you may wish to consult with Roi du Poison about limbering exercises,” Rook suggests as he swings his bow and quiver onto his back. “You have a troubling weakness about your left side.”

I freeze. “Wh-what?”

“You hold your left shoulder rather stiffly,” Rook explains. “It impedes your full range of motion- Roi du Poison even made note of it when you were cleaning the other week.”

I glance back at Jade, who’s not even bothering to hide that he’s listening. Look, I know about the shoulder thing, but I don’t appreciate Rook blabbing it all over the place. “It’s fine. I barely notice it anymore.” I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Rook figured it out, but I didn’t expect Vil to. “When’d you notice?”

“From the moment we met, of course. I would not be the Chassuer L’amour if I failed to notice something so obvious!”

Well, crap. I thought I’d been doing a better job hiding it. Then again, if Vil only noticed last week, maybe it’s just obvious to Rook. I’ll have to be more careful.

“Thanks for the lesson, Rook,” I say. “Grim and I should probably be heading back to the dorm, though.”

“Then au revoir, trickster!” Rook says. “I shall speak to Roi du Poison about your meals!” He skips off into the trees, vanishing within moments.

Ah, crap again. I thought he’d forgotten. Next time I get more of that potion, I’m going to be in for it. “I shall be on my way as well,” Jade says, dipping into a small bow. “Thank you for some most fascinating information.” He slips off, with a final smile over his shoulder. I don’t know if he’s referring to the info on weapons, war, or my shoulder. I also don’t know what he could actually do with any of that information, but I still don’t like him having it.

“W-wait, Jade?” He pauses before he’s fully back into the bushes. “The mushrooms around here- how much do you know about them?”

He turns back toward me, that unreadable smile on his lips again. “I’m not familiar with every one in these woods. But I know quite a few of them. Why? Are you interested yourself?”

I tug at one of my sleeves. “I… forage here. Sometimes. I’d like to know which ones are poisonous.”

Jade smiles wider. “Hm. And you’re asking me?”

“I can offer something in exchange,” I say, because I know how he operates. “I wouldn’t ask you to do it for free.”

“Very well.” He folds his hands in front of him. “Meet me back here after classes on Wednesday. I will have determined what I wish from you by then.” With a polite bow, he turns and walks away. I have a feeling like I just made a deal with the devil. Or, at least, the devil’s second in command.

Grim huffs. “C’mon, hench-human. Clearly you’re not getting any more peaches for me.” I roll my eyes, but I follow him as he hops through the woods. As we’re approaching the dorm, he pauses and looks back at me.

“Y’gotta take care of yourself, okay?” he says. “The Great Grim can’t have any henchmen in bad shape! So- so make sure you’re not hurt or anything! Got it?”

I can’t help the fond smile that pulls at my lips. He’s sweet. Even if he really, really doesn’t act like it most of the time. “It’s okay, Grim. I wouldn’t do anything bad for you. I promise.”

He fluffs up his fur and gives a satisfied nod. I follow him through the door into Ramshackle.

Read the next chapter here.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi mbtinotes 22yo INFJ here. I recently lost a friend (INTJ) after dating her briefly. After breaking things off, there was a lot of hurt on both sides that we weren't able to reconcile. I ended up blocking her to move on, since then have unblocked but never reached out. This loss has been eating away at me every day since and I can't stop thinking about my mistakes or feeling like a failure. At the same time, I don't think maintaining a friendship was benefitting either of us.

There was a lot of drama over how I handled the breakup, and it was messy since we both still had feelings but she no longer trusted me. I also think we were in somewhat of a codependent relationship and my thoughts about her are obsessive. I constantly wonder what she's thinking and whether or not I can "fix" things despite the damage done. I've always had self esteem issues, social anxiety, and I believe have struggled with depression for a long time.

I know I have good qualities and my friends remind me all the time, but I just don't see myself that way, and I've always struggled with dating and this falling out with my friend has put me even deeper into my issues and made me more aware of them. I still care for her a lot, but I don't know if reconciliation is possible and am afraid of repeating the cycle, and she's villainized me at this point anyway. I honestly have no idea how I'm supposed to build myself up from here.

----------------------

The best way to have healthy self-esteem is to be a person of integrity. It means making decisions primarily from the perspective of your better self, with a view of the bigger picture (Ni). It means doing whatever is necessary to preserve every person's well-being, including your own (Fe). It is never too late to choose integrity. The sooner you choose it, the sooner you can get to a more positive place in life. The path to integrity is a lifelong process of learning how to be the person you're really meant to be.

When it comes to failure, having integrity means owning up to mistakes and learning to do better. The way is: face facts, take full responsibility for everything that was in your hands, and resolve the situation to the best of your ability.

Resolve is not the same as fix. "Fixing" is usually motivated by an egocentric desire to assuage guilt, silence regret, or unload resentment. By contrast, "resolving" should be motivated by care and empathy and a genuine desire to do what is best for everyone involved. Negative feelings must be laid to rest and everyone must be allowed to move on in the most positive way possible. Resolution can be a difficult process and might require several steps, for example:

Contrition: For the sake of learning and personal growth, do a full accounting of all the things you have done that were hurtful, harmful, or morally problematic. Make a list and review the reasons why you engaged in such behavior. Feel your remorse fully, and make a choice to forgive yourself by accepting that you are human and still have much to learn about how to make moral decisions.

Atonement: Issue a detailed and heartfelt apology to everyone who was negatively affected by your behavior. Provide an honest explanation for why you behaved poorly, without making excuses or deflecting responsibility. Ask for forgiveness, recognizing that you are not entitled to it and do not have control over whether it is granted. In your own mind, forgive others their mistakes, for the sake of your own well-being, because you do not want to keep carrying around the heavy burden of a heart poisoned by resentment, anger, or hate.

Closure: Do a full accounting of all the things you appreciate about the person and the relationship you had together, and say thank you to them. Express that you hope the negative experiences won't erase all the positive experiences you've had together. Sincerely wish them the best going forward. Grant everyone the freedom to open a new chapter of life.

Blame is always counter-productive to relationships. Since the relationship is basically beyond repair, continuing to play any kind of blame game (whether blaming yourself or her) is only going to keep you stuck in negativity. It sounds like blame was a significant factor contributing to the breakup, so it's time you learned a better way of handling painful feelings via improving your emotional intelligence. You need to get back in touch with your caring and empathetic side in order to let go of blame and leave the past behind.

You've had many opportunities to end the situation but instead chose to continue it. At some point, you have to make a decision as to whether your energy is better utilized moving backward or moving forward - you can't have it both ways. When you choose to move forward, feelings will fade as time passes, and you'll get better perspective from which to learn important lessons, lessons that will hopefully better equip you for success in future relationships.

Remember that the process of grieving a loss and healing from it cannot begin in earnest until you release yourself from the compulsion to fix and, instead, move toward full acceptance of reality.

[linkspooky]

Hi there!! I really enjoyed reading about how you approach writing and characterising characters like Nanako, Mimiko, Nobara or Gojo so I’ve been wondering how do you go about writing someone as angsty and downright violent yet soft and childish at times like Megumi? Boy really had a cursed life for someone named blessing… so I feel there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to his character. Do you have any headcanons for him or do you mostly base his characterisation on what we’ve been shown in the manga? And how difficult or maybe easy you find writing him?

Megumi's actually the most complicated and well-written character in the manga (this is the part where @theanimepsychologist appears to high five me) so it's understandable you might have trouble writing him.

You don't really need to fanonize Megumi, because everything you need about him is already there in the manga. He's a jungian character who literally uses his shadow as his weapon to attack people, so the story delves incredibly deep into his inner world probably moreso than Yuji the main character.

To begin with though, this is my favorite way to describe Megumi:

Fushiguro had intended to just pay and leave but with his serious personality, his idea of leaving was dismissed by Itadori’s reasoning. However, his eyes that were as deep as the night that peeped out from the bottom of a deep ditch became even more lifeless. Fushiguro tried once more to switch off his self-awareness. Numbness was the safety feature of life. If he did not think of a way to protect his spirit, it would not be strange if a curse was born.

"Numbness was the safety feature of life", every behavior Megumi exhibits is an attempt to suppress his emotions, to numb himself down and feel nothing.

This is what makes him a Jungian character. His primary personality trait isn't being grumpy, or serious, or anti-social, it's being avoidant. Which is why it's funny people often compare him to the other black haired rival characters in shonen jump, because he's nothing like Sasuke.

If you wanted a character to base your Megumi characterization on, the closest comparison is Killua. The abused child who ran away from a family of assassins, who thinks absolutely nothing of himself while describing his best friend in the gayest way possible as pure light. Killua's primary character trait is also avoidance. He doesn't really want to be a better person at the start of the story, he has no problems with killing people, he just wants to RUN AWAY. Which is also why he takes the one sibling he likes from the abusive household and kind of just leaves the rest of them behind like it's none of his business.

Megumi's primary character trait isn't anger, or violence, even if he's both of those things it's avoidance. He wants to avoid both the people in his life and his problems whenever possible until it's too late. He doesn't want to analyze himself or his own actions, which is why I made the banner image of this post Megumi straight up saying "I don't care if I'm right or wrong." This is how you get the contradiction that is Megumi, someone who self-righteously lectures Yuji in the first few chapters that he doesn't care if a prisoner died because they hit someone with their car by accident, then one hundred chapters later in the culling games blatantly says "I'll totally kill people to score points."

Megumi's simultaneously extremely strict and lawful, but also does not think those laws apply to himself because he doesn't want to think about himself. He has no image of himself. This is where you get to the childish aspects of his character. His second biggest character trait is that he's basically an eternal child. He can't handle any of his emotions in a mature way like an adult would so he just doesn't. The reason he hides all of his emotions in the dark and ignores them is because he doesn't have the tools to deal with them. His own feelings are the leaky roof that he can't afford to fix so he just has to pretend it's not there.

Megumi also isn't really trying to grow up or grow past his mistakes, because he is stuck in survival mode. Megumi's a child because he has no proper adult role models in his life. Yes, this is including Gojo. If you want a real life metaphor for the way Megumi behaves, he's like a foster kid passed from house to house until he's eighteen who never connected with any of his parents and was probably treated as a renter by them instead. Megumi himself in story is kind of treated like he's more mature than others too, just because he has a more serious personality, and has been forced to carry a lot of responsibility at a young age (by Gojo).

Which finally, you have to look at the two adults in Megumi's life who are responsible for a lot of his behaviors. Toji is someone who abandoned Megumi, and not only that he took the money he gained from his jobs, and selling Megumi and practically gambled it away and blew it on stupid shit. He failed in his responsibilities to Megumi every step of the way. Yet, there's a strong resemblance between father and son. Toji is the way he is because he was abandoned by his family his entire life and cast out, and wound up doing the same to Megumi. Toji also, seemed to use Megumi's mother as the only good thing / the only good influence on him and when she died he practically gave up. It's the same for Megumi, he basically used Tsukimi the same way as the person who inspired him to be good. Without Tsumiki, look at the despair that Megumi falls into and how he stops fighting Sukuna entirely.

Then you have Gojo, who let's just ignore the child soldier aspect of the way Gojo treats Megumi for now. I think the worst influence Gojo has on Megumi, is he expects Megumi to be exactly like him. Gojo and Megumi were both born with their clan's strongest technique, they're both natural geniuses who learn whatever they try to learn quickly. My friend Psycho had this to say about it.

Isn't it ironic how Gojo is the one telling Megumi he doesn't know how to bring out his best? Megumi is your class "I'm so naturally talented everything comes easy to me, but I don't know that I don't know this, so I don't try or strive hard for anything."

Gojo and Megumi are similiar in a lot of ways, but if Toji represents Megumi's violent side and the worst of his trauma, then Gojo is Megumi's avoidance. Gojo is also someone who doesn't want to form connections with people, who is stuck isolated in his own little world and never really changes or adapts to circumstances because he's always been perfect at what he does.

Gojo tried to raise Megumi into another Gojo, but failed because Megumi is different in ways that Gojo doesn't understand. Megumi doesn't really want to strive to be the best sorcerer in the way Gojo does, because Megumi was forced into it by circumstances. Gojo was like, Megumi if you don't come with me and do sorcery jobs for the school then your sister will be abused by the Zen'in. THis is totally a choice I'm giving you. Gojo doesn't understand why Megumi would have so many mental hurdles that would prevent him from reaching his full potential. And I think the biggest reason for this is because Gojo basically treated Megumi as a miniature adult from the day they met onwards, instead of treating him like a child. Gojo didn't have to raise Megumi, but the bare minimum he could have done is realized that Megumi is a child and not an adult and can't handle the responsibilities or an adult and doesn't have the emotions or maturity of an adult.

Gojo doesn't realize that however. He expects Megumi to deal with the crushing responsibility of being an adult, because that's how Gojo was raised and look at Gojo he's doing just fine he's the strongest.

So, like to cap this all off Megumi is a character with a pretty deep internal world made up of all the emotions he's repressing.

I'd say to other people he comes off as quiet and unpleasant. He also keeps interaction with others down to as minimum as possible. If he's interacting with strangers, he tends to be respectful, because he's projecting the personality of someone more mature than he really is. He's also the one who by default tries to act responsible and make the plans for other people even if he's the youngest one in the group. All of these things are because Megumi 1) feels a crushing responsibility to be the adult in these situations, and 2) also wants to avoid that responsibility hence his quiet and antisocial behavior as a default.

Megumi is also a male tsundere, which is how he deals with even the people who's closest to him. A lot of his dialogue in regards to Yuji is just some version of "Shut up, Baka" whereas with Nobara he tends to just kind of ignore her when she's being annoying and let her tire herself out.

Megumi also has incredibly low self esteem so when you're writing his internal dialogue, you should have him basically describe people like Yuji in the gayest terms possible much like Killua, while at the same time insulting and belittling himself. He props other people up to make himself look smaller in comparison.

Megumi's also in general pretty self-loathing. That's another reason why he represses himself so much, because he just sort of hates himself. He thinks he's a shitty brat who can't do anything right. When Megumi tends to pull more morally ambiguous things like advocating for murder, or getting too violent in a fight, he tends to justify it as "I'm not a good person like Tsumiki and Yuji so it's okay if I get my hands dirty". Which isn't a good excuse but it's very sad that a sixteen year old boy is unable to see the good in himself and is constantly comparing himself to others and finding them to be better.

Finally, Megumi's kind of like a parentalized child, at least in the fact he's been treated as a mini-adult by the biggest adult caretaker in his life and is expected to function like one. Therefore, Megumi has an image of himself that he's more mature than the people around him and knows better when he doesn't. He also doesn't really seem to grasp when he's being childish or angry or immature because he doesn't see himself that way, he's the adult, he'a always forced to be the adult.

Okay, I hope that helped you even a little bit Megumi is a pretty complex character to grasp, if you want even more inspiration then just read Hunter x Hunter.

[buriedlove]

Oh man I looove this game so far, I played it the other day and was instantly hooked <33333 I hope your health continues to improve as that’s the most important thing <33333 I did have a question for upcoming chapters, is the MC’s ex possibly going to make an appearance? <<>> And if so, how would the RO’s react? <33333

Hey! Thank you for this ask and sorry it’s taken a long while to reply. The answer is that MCs ex isn’t going to show up. I think Cerri is all the ex we can handle, and there’s going to be enough drama in the dome, but I thought it would be fun to explore how the ROs would react if it did happen…

Rota: Rota would be challenging the ex to a duel within the first hour, absolutely no doubt. Or maybe an arm wrestle. She wouldn’t feel jealous in the usual (human) definition - but she would definitely want to ensure she was considered the  most powerful by her loved one. The dome would probably turn into a Valkyrie olympics. There would be spear throwing, body carrying, pegasus flying fun all day every day. Consider your ex exhausted and ready to get out of there. Fast.

Alex: His protection mode would crank up to the max. He knows all about difficult exes and would be keeping a constant eye on the situation to make sure MC wasn’t upset in any way. Expect lots of low level growling and protective body postures if there’s any sign of trouble. Always wanted a wolf boy by your side 24/7? You got it. Unless you don’t want it. Then he’ll back off, because he’s a protective but respectful wolf boy, although expect one bright blue eye on the situation at all times (from a distance).

Abe: Abe wouldn’t know how to react to an ex. His general lack of confidence in love would mean that he wouldn’t position himself in competition. Instead he’d quietly observe what was happening, all the while being civil and polite. He’d be sat in a corner with a book, every inch the quiet pacifist. But his eyes wouldn’t be taking in a single word. Instead they’d be watching the ex’s every move silently. His main priority would be MCs safety, and if he had any concerns about that then a very different side of Abe would appear. The ex would need to watch their back…

Eli: Eli doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body. He’s more likely to flirt with an ex than get into any kind of confrontation with them from a jealousy perspective. But… if MC’s ex did anything at all to hurt them then Eli would be quick to speak up and to put the ex in their place. MC would suddenly find themselves with an elf shaped companion by their sides at all time, ready to step in if needed and to stop anything else hurtful happening.

Aayush: Aayush would be jealous from the moment the ex stepped into the dome, to the moment they left. The jealousy wouldn’t show through aggressive behaviour, he’s far too classy for that. Instead he would be extra attentive of MC, making sure they had everything they needed at every moment of every day. You want the model of the perfect boyfriend? Good news, you’ve got it. His jealousy comes from a deep insecurity that he isn’t good enough. He can’t see the sunshine. Hell, he can’t even eat a meal with MC. If the ex can offer a life he can’t then it’s going to hurt, and he’ll be looking for some reassurance.

Catarina: Catarina has been burned by a partner’s ex in the past when she found out her partner was cheating on her with an ex. Although Catarina isn’t openly jealous and generally oozes calm and collected confidence, an ex arriving would push all of the wrong buttons and a different side of her would emerge. She’d need verbal and physical reassurance that MC was still into, and if that was absent she’d probably retreat into herself and put a barrier up. If it was clear there was no emotional connection with the ex it would be a different story. At that point Catarina would just be looking out for them potentially hurting MC, and would have a spell ready if they did.

Cerri: Hmm, imagine if Cerri caught feelings and then MCs ex appeared. I wonder how our tempestuous she-wolf would react? Spoilers - not well. Cue almost continual growling in their direction, a glare so cold it could freeze the bahamas, and confrontation at every possible moment. Cerri will protect the people she cares about to the death, and the ex would probably be safest walking straight back out of the dome again. Fast.

[huurreauthor]

I'm constantly working on so many things that I don't remember to update my Tumblr. Just a few weeks ago, I had a week or two with three new chapters per week between all of my fics. :D Now I have more difficult chapters coming up in most of them, so it's slower. And I also try to write some one-shots. The one at work is currently hitting 10k words and is still halfway through.

But! This post is regarding Bound by Eternity, one of my biggest works! In the sixth chapter, I warned that the update will take longer because I want to get the next three, preferably even four, chapters ready before I publish the seventh chapter, with a really good reason.

The plot will take a huge blow in the next chapter, and we will handle it a lot for three chapters a lot, focusing heavily on Harry and Tom. They are emotionally heavy, contain a lot of triggering themes and are just overall really difficult. I want to get them out rapidly without more than a few days between them, so anyone wanting to save it until the third chapter doesn't need to wait for it, and anyway, with these themes and triggers, I want to get it out of the way as quickly as possible.

And, as you can see in the picture below, two out of three are finished and ready for editing, and the third one is also progressing well! (The third column is word count.) Next week, I have a five-day long weekend, so if I'm not entirely wrong, I will get the first one of these out during that time.

I'm excited and scared about how you will take these!

And after a few have asked about the triggers and trigger warnings and how I will work around them, I can tell you that I am writing three different versions of chapter 8, where they are most in use! The first one (original) will go to AO3, the second is a somewhat cleaned-out version with less graphic description and from the last one, I have cut out one scene completely, basically just telling with a few sentences how things are going and what's happening. I will leave the links to the additional versions in the author's note. This is an easier and overall clearer way than trying to instruct "skip these parts if you want to avoid this and that".

Also, a detailed trigger warning list (spoiler alert!!!!) can already be found in the comment section of chapter 6, from my reply under the first comment.

Huh, 2,5k words of this tonight wasn't an easy job, so I'm going to focus on something else than writing for the rest of the evening. :D

[theheirofthesharingan]

2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23 and 24 for the ask game

2. Is there a least favorite character or title you dislike writing for?

My least favorite character would be Kabuto to write. I don't want to write him at all. But eh, have to write him because bro is quite important for a while. More than Sasuke I want to get rid of him.

3. Name a fanfic/story you are particularly proud of writing.

I've written a lot of stuff, but one fic I'm extremely proud of is Unbreakable Ties. I loved writing it and all the right emotions I could convey through my words. It'll always be close to my heart for its rawness and angst and the feels. Also because I wrote a fic for a large fandom, which was quite challenging for me initially too.

4. Where did you get your inspiration from?

I just like to explore the possibilities and different ways the characters feel and to explore those emotions. That's my inspiration. Sometimes reading does help too.

5. Where do you find your motivation?

I'll say it's discipline. I don't rely on motivation as much. There are days I can't get a lot of work done, but I do try to write some words before I go to bed.

6. What would you say your strongest genre to write for is?

I love adventure, Gothic fiction, and magical realism to write. But i guess magical realism is what I would be most comfortable in writing.

7. What would you say your weakest genre to write for is?

Action. Ugh. I cannot write fight scenes.

8. How many WIP do you currently have?

Only one. I can't have more than one WIPs or it'll be too distracting.

9. (I already answered it)

10. What frustrates you the most as a writer?

Among many other things, I sometimes feel my sentences are terrible. And I sometimes can't recall the most basic words. And of course, typos.

11. What’s something you have learned as a writer?

A lot of things. But mostly, I've learned to be expressive and more empathetic towards people. As a writer you get into the skin of the characters and feel the emotions they feel very deeply, and that is bound to affect you as a person too. It's what happened with me.

12. Do you enjoy receiving feedback?

Oh, yes. All writers do.

13. Already answered.

14. What’s one thing you dislike about your blog?

Ah, there's nothing I dislike about my blog. It's one of the very few places on the internet I like to be. xD

15. What made you start to write fanfiction/stories?

A TV show in my country. It was loosely based on Wuthering Heights, and I fell in love with it. So I loved exploring its main characters (who were ill-treated in canon because its writers were not interested in telling the story).

16. Any ideas you wanted to write about, but never did?

A fic based on the show I mentioned above. It was my dream project and could be my magnum opus with 150+ chapters, but for all the effort I put in it, there were no readers whatsoever. After 30 chapters I abandoned it in 2018. But I think I wasn't mature enough to handle all the themes back then. Still.

17. Already answered.

18. Are there any topics you find difficult to write for?

There's nothing in particular, but here and there, there will always be some topics that will be tough to write. But more for the technical reasons instead of personal ones.

19. What is something your readers don’t know that you do?

I might have mentioned it here, but no one knows I tend to have breakdowns writing some parts of my fics. Not just with Itachi and Sasuke centric stories, but for my fics I wrote previously, I'll end up crying a lot because some moments were like that. Itachi and Sasuke just take that angst to some other level, so I'm left wounded writing some of their moment.

20. What’s one thing you want your readers to know about you?

I love you, guys. If you read my works there must be some kind of bonding between us. Whether you're the silent reader of my stories or leave comments/kudos there it makes me feel seen and heard in a good way. So, thank you for that.

21. What’s your favorite writing advice to share?

There are a lot of pieces of advice that I follow, but one thing that I absolutely love as a reader is concise writing and avoiding the "-ly words." And you don't need too many synonyms of "said." Just use said and switch to other words occasionally. That, in my opinion, leaves more impact than writing the synonym for said with every dialogue.

22. Care to share any future WIP ideas you have lined up?

Ah, yes. There are three more ideas I'm considering to work on. One is inspired by Cormac Mc Carthy's The Road. The other is a post-war story with inter-dimemsional travel with a twist. And the other is set in the Land of the Waves arc. All the fics are Uchiha brothers centric. This is the only info I can give right now.

23. Most memorable review/comment on a fic?

Okay, so this is going to sound like I'm bragging, but here it is. One of my friends I keep in a very high regard because he's been writing for years and has published many of his poems too, read one of my fics, and said "Your writing reminded me of Emily Brontë's" and I cried tears of happiness. ;_;

24. What future fics/events can we expect to see?

It's the same as answer to #22. I'll try to finish The Everlasting Love by the end of this month and might start the next one right away.