#queer shame

[joinvoda]

Moving Past Queer Shame

Reducing Queer Shame: A Guide to Embracing Your Authentic Self 💖🌈

Hey there lovely souls! 🌟

We all have stories and sometimes, they’re marred with shadows of shame.

Here’s a little guide on how we can embrace our queer identities with love and authenticity...

🌷 Understanding Our Childhood Shadows: A lot of us queer folks have these childhood memories where we were told to be more 'this' or less 'that'. Maybe some said we should "man up" or that our fashion choices were “too much”. Sound familiar?

🍀 The Manifestation of Shame: It's heartbreaking when these shadows then slowly turn into self-stigma. The quiet voice that tells us to hide, to conform, or that we’re somehow wrong. This voice can remain with us for many years to come.

🔍 Recognising the Inner Critic: But over time, we can learn to build self-awareness. Next time you find yourself being judgmental to yourself, stop and reflect. Ask why that is. What’s that voice really saying? Whose voice is this really? Is it mine, or the internalised voice of someone else?

🌈 Choosing Love and Acceptance: Remember, there's nothing wrong with being your authentic self. Often, we forget the true nature of who we are, thinking we're somehow less than or not enough.

Emotionally accepting that might take a slow... therapy can be a good friend in this journey.

If you have queer shame and want to do something about it... We at Voda are on this journey with you. Check out the Voda app to try out programmes specifically designed to help reduce queer shame and be your authentic self, our app is designed with LGBTQIA+ therapists.

You can download Voda here.

Love and Light, Voda 💜🌈

[anonil88]

I realize some people who believe coming out is redundant or being confident about your sexuality without "shouting it to the world" still have a lot of shame to unpack. Even people who seem so annoyed or laissez-faire when sexuality is brought up may skirt around the words "I like (insert gender or person of said gender)". Theres no need to "pick a label" if anyone don't want to but some people are just worried of the stigma or have lost vital people in their lives due to their existing. So it feels easier to distance themselves from terms like butch or any lgbtq identity because they're afraid of what others think but also the things we say to ourselves that no one hears. And so people backtrack. It happens and unfortunately some do it more publicly than others.

Yes it annoying to have people only bring it up or to have people speculate. That behavior can really also get someone to stay quiet or feel pressured and isn't okay. It is something else to bite your own tongue so hard with a smile on your face. But, thats not recognized as shame its only seen as "oh people are just invasive so I don't have to face it myself" instead of oh okay I'm afraid because this thing is seen as bad. Which I could rant about how bad=sin religious theology and "sex is bad rhetoric" etc. but I won't. This time.

I saw something recently about relationships and how there is a difference between private and secret. That's what seems to be happening with the whole hush hush sexuality era we're in and im afraid if we do that enough we'll end up "coming out is lame"-ing ourselves right back into closets, arranged lavender marriages (not talking bout the ppl who do it for family or benefits reasons), and a 1960s ad version of queer people. Squeaky and clean rainbows with the aesthetics of a radicalness that will no longer exist.

I guess the TLDR of this is:

From the non famous to the famous, old or young, rich or poor lgbtq people will turn scared at one point in their journey. Often because of society and community imposed shame but also the shame we internalize.

I've been there and maybe all queer people go through it in some way. Its something you've gotta face one day or you will never get to the freedom of truly not giving a flying fuck. Process it and love yourself wholly.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Yall remember how Texas had that "report an abortion" form that they had to take down after a week?

Well, Missouri has one, only it's for reporting transgender concerns.

Comrades. Friends. Romans. Countrymen. You know what to do.

[huachengsromcom]

People call Heaven Official’s Blessing / TGCF a slow burn but Hua Cheng is literally courting Xie Lian like they are DATING. Slow burn who??? They’re sleeping next to each other on straw mats and Xie Lian’s offering to cook him dinner and they’re bantering across THE HOME THEY SHARE like a bunch of desperate hussys

San Lang LEAVES XL WITH A KEEPSAKE OF THEIR TIME TOGETHER SLOW BURN WHOMST

They have A DATE in HC’s armoury where they HOLD HANDS and XL pets San Lang’s quivering sword I-

Hua Cheng basically throws himself at this man he’s like you want a sword?? All of them ?? You want ALL THE SWORDS?? Fuck it take the whole room THE WHOLE ROOM JUST COME VISIT I WILL CLEAN THEM FOR YOU

Like he isn’t the king of a whole realm with shit to do

And this is just the first half of the first book—again I ask the world SLOW BURN WHOMST

[gorgynei]

rip and tear and maim etc. etc.

[octisticsopinions]

"If you're queer why don't you support the war (genocide) on Gaza? Palestine is homophobic!!!" I don't know, maybe because people shouldn't be murdered on mass for living in a homophobic country? Maybe because a government being homophobic doesn't justify ethnic cleansing? Maybe because queers in Palestine aren't going to feel "liberated" by the IDF murdering their children? Maybe because I'm not a fucking racist???

Be serious, there are so many homophobic countries. Would you condone murdering polish civilians for living in a homophobic country? Would you cheer at people in Florida having to carry their children in plastic bags? Would that be for the greater cause of queer liberation? Or is it only justified when it's brown people and Muslims?

How dare you expect queers to be "grateful" to the Israeli government for committing literal fucking genocide.

[sexy-sapphic-sorcerer]

BBC Merlin being about 'magic' for 7 minutes gay

[akajustmerry]

"and what makes you bi?"

"because I feel like a fraud no matter who I sleep with"

[angel-archivist]

I could stare at your back all day And I know I've kissed you before, but I didn't do it right

[joinvoda]

What do we mean when we say “Queer”?

Within the colorful spectrum of LGBTQIA+ identities, the ‘Q’ represents ‘Queer’ or ‘Questioning.’ 

The use of the term “Queer” is sometimes controversial, because this term, once wielded as an insult, has been now been increasingly reclaimed as a unified, embracing term to represent the myriad identities within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

“Reclamation is messy. ‘Queer’ bears a legacy of pain and empowerment. It’s been a weapon and a shield, a rejection and an embrace, a slur and a badge of honor.” - Learning for Justice

Some in the community dislike the normalisation of the world “queer” because it has a derogatory past; we vehemently condemn its use as a slur.

But over time, we can also learn to embrace ‘queer’ with respect and pride, using it as an inclusive term to represent our multifaceted community. 

To us, ‘queer’ represents any identity outside the realms of exclusive heterosexuality or cisgender norms.

Many of us alternate between using the terms ‘queer’ and ‘LGBTQIA+,’ recognising the term's versatility and its capacity to defy categorisation and to promote expansive and unbounded thinking.

Echoing the empowering chant from the Stonewall riots: 

"We're here, we're queer, get over it!"

If being queer feels overwhelming, we at Voda are here with you.

We’re the LGBTQIA+ mental health app and we have a variety of free features like queer-led meditations, daily mood check-ins, and a series of free self-guided therapy programmes on topics such as coming out, love, and gender dysphoria.

Please note that some programmes require a monthly subscription, we ensure that plenty of our features are available for free to the community, plus everything is accessible for free in the first 7 days.

However, if you are in need of mental health support, please feel free to send us a message as we have scholarships available. 

Everyone deserves access to mental health support and we’re here for you.

You can download Voda here.

Stay queer,

Voda 🌈💜

[uncanny-tranny]

Every now and again, I remember this meme (usually after seeing this exact situation) and I always want to spread it.

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

[humapkehaikaun]

I take it personal when innocent live is lost, I am hurt because as society we failed again to tell him, that it's okay to do whatever you want, whatever you want to be. If you can't spread love please don't spread hate.

To all those people who trolled him, I hope this haunt you forever, who the hell are you to tell others how to live, how to be a boy or a girl. To all those I want to say just try to be a "Better Human First" please be kind. He always says no matter what people say about you please don't give up, do whatever you like, whatever you want, is mentally tortured, bullied and abused by the youth of social media users. He had a supportive mother, but imagine how much this child was going through that her support wasn't enough for him to live. hope that this sweet innocent boy rest in peace. Just keep scrolling if you don't like.

[justalittlesolarpunk]

Was reading a book about how pagans can envision and create a sustainable future and one of the chapters was taking about shame, and how shame around sexuality leads to shame around everything else that ties you to the earth, and so you try to disconnect yourself from nature and that leads to anti-ecological behaviour. Honestly a fascinating perspective - very liberating for a queer environmentalist!

[k-wame]

KYLE SOLLER as DI Alfred Hillinghead BODIES (NETFLIX) ‧ 2023 ‧ S1·EP3

[nonebinary-leftbeef]

Long hair not in a masculine or feminine way but in a viking way. Perhaps even a pirate way