#questioning romantic attraction

[the-aaaaa-battery]

Being aroace but also feeling a tertiary form of attraction (alterous attraction) was one of the most confusing parts of my identity to figure out. Before I knew what alterous attraction was, I only knew sexual, romantic, platonic, sensual, and aesthetic attraction.

I had a crush on one of my friends (and I still do). It made me kind of scared because at that point, I was 99% certain I was aroace, and I couldn't tell if I was experiencing romantic attraction or not. I didn't like the idea of dating and I didn't like the word "romance," and yet I also felt like I wanted to be more than friends with that person.

It wasn't until months after discovering I had a crush that I learned about alterous attraction. I liked the definition and I thought that if fit me best, so I started to use it to describe my crush. I felt way more confident using aroace again, because it felt right! And I had a way of explaining my feelings for my crush.

But oh my God, it was so hard to figure out.

Shoutout to people who are confused about their identity right now! Gender and sexuality is tough to figure out, but it's okay to question.

[valkyriellis]

Silly question, are you attracted to Jerma I'm just curious?

LOL ig it depends on how you define the word. Definitely not in the typical/expected way, I don't think. For example I wouldn't ever want to actually meet Jerma IRL.. beyond like a 10 second selfie or autograph fan interaction type thing at least.

Mostly just cause I can't really form that kind of real attachment to a person unless I actually know them, and none of us really KNOW Jeremy. Just jerma985. That's a whole stranger!!

But I'm very much attracted to watching jerma content and drawing his likeness :)

[bonefall]

jayfeather and moleflight toxic yaoi…

Oh wow there's not even anything in the Molejay tag. Is this pair so rare it's not been done yet?

Jayfeather and Moleflight, toxic yaoi, "I named myself after the time I trounced your angelic ass" and "I've personally assigned my entire afterlife to trying to prevent you from causing chaos." They want to kiss each other sooo bad it makes them look stupid. The rituals, they are so intricate.

[nicercymybeloved]

Very attached to the idea that if Percy had been a woman she would have been named Ariadne. Like, I know that Persephone is a popular fanon name for female Percy because it's a nice way to keep her nickname. I've also seen Andromeda used by some because she lives a long life with Perseus in the myths. But Sally would have at least considered it right? Because Ariadne's a popular female figure in mythology, linked to both Theseus and Dionysus, two other famous figures in mythology. She was a clever mortal princess who was dealt a bad hand because her father's arrogance allowed him to think that he could get away with defying a god, just like how Poseidon's arrogance allowed him to think that he could get away with breaking the pact he made with Zeus and Hades. And in the end, Ariadne survived both her family's legacy and Theseus's abandonment, becoming Dionysus's immortal wife in both the PJO universe and in many retellings of the myth of the Minotaur and Theseus in real life. Ariadne got to live out her happy ending just like how Perseus did in mythology, which is the main reason why Sally even gave Percy the name Perseus to begin with. Am I delusional to think that Sally would have given a female Percy the name Ariadne? Who the fuck knows. But I'm so attached to the idea that it literally just supersedes any other name I could have come up with

[our-questioning-experience]

Arghhh what is the difference between liking someone romantically and just being really good friends with them no one ever taught me the difference

i unfortunately also have absolutely no idea, anon :'(

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning aspec culture is not wanting your crush to like you back romantically, you just want to be good friends with them

<2

[amr2002amr]

romanctic attraction is thinking someone is cool, pretty, amazing, etc. and passionately desiring romantic things with said person and having this warm spark in you or butterflies in the stomach when you think about them or hang with them and desiring entering a romantic relationship with them. These feelings persist regardless of comfort level or compatibility. I am grayromantic and I have only experienced romantic attraction a couple times so I know what it feels like.

If you don't know, ask yourself, do you passionately want to do romantic acts with said person you're interested in, would that bring you fluffy joy and wonderous thrill or does simply being friends with them (or somewhere in between or any other tertiary attraction level) feel way better of an end goal to your passionate desires?

[will drop the term qpr, queer platonic partner/relationship here for your use if you don't know it already]

[cringelordofchaos]

uh yeah turns out I might be aromantic or at least arospec 👍

[aro-culture-is]

aro (questioning) culture is feeling weirdly neutral and vaguely grossed out at the idea of living the rest of your life in a romantic relationship but simultaneously really really liking someone and not being sure if finally this is the fabled "falling in love" you've heard so much about or if you just really wanna be QPR best-buds-who-sometimes-kiss for the rest of your life...

.

[thousand-winters]

I'm bewildered. I'm astounded. I'm baffled. I'm-

Granted, it's been a While™️ since I last read TID but are you telling me Charles fucking Buford was conceived before Henry and Charlotte even cleared their misunderstanding???

This makes them even bigger dumbasses, oh, my god.

[deer-radio-host]

Did you know theirs multiple types of Asexuality

Not sexually attracted to people / no type

Not interested in sex but interested in love

Being uninterested in both

interested in sex but not in relationships

Now you know the different ASexualities

Which one are you Alister

I- what?

[lanshappycorner]

Do u ever meet someone and ur like wow this person is so...het. they r just so straight

[shayberri789]

Fun thing about sexuality is you're allowed to examine and puzzle over your identity for ages and eventually just go "fuck it" and sticking with a slightly vaguer label

[supergraphicultramoderngirl]

something lgbt just happened to me (i think a bi guy is hitting on me (a bi girl) (ish) (we’ll see how this goes))

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning aspec culture is not knowing whether or not if you're fully aro or somewhere on the spectrum because you don't quite understand what romantic attraction is and so you can't judge whether or not you felt it before, either because its been a while ago that you actually had a "crush" or if your "crush" was actually just tertiary attraction. also bonus points if your feelings towards "crush" is less intense version of romantic attraction most allos seem to describe as, so you really can't tell. (am i aro? quoiro? cupio?? greyro??)

.

[mramur]

im pretty sure im not aromantic but im cheering for every aro post bcs yes sisters, romance is overrated we need to explore more love that is not inherently romantic