#questions i want most answered
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a new star
#i been thinkin about the asteroid again#i think about the asteroid a lot more than i think is normal#like just the complete randomness of it and how everything changed in literally the blink of an eye#like the dinoss rules the fucking earth and probably still would if space had just been a little bit different#how long did it take the asteroid to reach us#at what point was the impact inevitable#like these sound like scientific answers but i need you to know these are questions that my soul wants answered in poetry#yes the math is cool but can i talk about what tragedy looks like melted into the earth#how power and pain and mourning but also change and new life and a future were embedded in a layer of iridum that spread around the planet#can we talk about how looking at the layers of the earth is the most physical type of time travel there is#can i please talk about that layer of pain#can i mourn when i see it#or am i just a weird kid crying when i look at rocks#ALSO. was parasaurolophus alive when the asteroid hit? i dont think so#but it's too late#yall get to suffer with me#dinosaurs
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seeing your ZK art with katara's burn scars I imagine zuko kissing her scarred hands 😭 and ofc she kisses his scar too !!!!!!!!

Scar kisses are my everything.
#dema answers#atla#zutara#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#katara#zutara au#zutara fanart#zutara art#katara of the southern water tribe#Yes the kisses are BACK#National Dema AU Kisses Day#For context:#My ask box currently sits at 50+ unanswered asks and most of them are either sketch requests or AU questions that require some deep thinking#So I'm sorry if it seems like I take AGES to answer one of your asks. I haven't forgotten. It's just a lot of content for me to work through#And I want to make sure you all get some quality stuff! The perfectionist in me demands it.#And I'm also working on FTS and Spitfire and my other stuff at the same time so...#Yeah it'll probably take a while to answer some asks#But I'll do my best!
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ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story
#you know. the one with the pendulum#'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this'#'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!'#'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you'#like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine#it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences.#but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification#and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs#when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck.#you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck.#and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters!#and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that#anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately#it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel#which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about.#but we'll have to do our best with what we have#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aroace#talking#aspec#asexual#asexuality
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Batman: You need a new costume. That one provides no protection.
Danny: oh I cant.
Batman: You won’t owe me for it.
Danny: no I literally cant. Like if i remove it it just returns.
Batman:………. Explain.
Danny: look *takes off glove and explodes it into pieces*
*glove reforms on his hand*
Danny: see? Can’t get rid of it. It’ll just heal itself.
Batfam: …
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#batfam#danny fenton#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc crossover#dp x dc prompt#Tim: I want one 😭#dick: it would save soooooo much time instead of manually repairing or replacing a damaged suit :(#Danny: I like yours though. you don’t have to change your entire reflection of how you view yourself to change your hero look#batfam: wut#Danny: my appearance is based on my how I view my identity. if I believe I’m supposed to look a certain way I will#danny: but since I’ve had this look for so long it’s hard to change it#Damian: can’t you add stuff to your suit?#danny: maybe? I haven’t tried since most equipment I had available would hurt/maim/kill me#Jason: that answer just created a million more questions how are you like this?
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Everyone congratulate The Order on the adoption! Look at their new son!!!
#And by adoption I mean grabbing Rune off the street corner he was dumped on and taking him with them no questions asked#Guys. If I can sell you on Anna being group dad then I have won.#She is giving dad who didn't want the dog but ends up bonding for life with the small creature#Also Alfonse. Hon. Out of curiosity. Have you ever held a child?#The answer is not really and he would panic if asked to hold a newborn.#Your honor I love these idiots. Give them small found family as a treat#In other news these were unironically some of the most difficult drawings I've ever made of these characters lmao#I had reference open and tried to draw all the details of their outfits for once. It was a bit MADDENING#I was so lost in the detail sauce that I accidentally gave Anna an extra piece of armor. The patterns on Kiran's cloak nearly broke me.#Looks good tho! Hell yeah! Mission success!!!#feh#fire emblem heroes#fire emblem#feh kiran#feh alfonse#feh anna#feh sharena#feh rune#feh summoner#fe kiran#fe anna#fe alfonse#fe sharena#fe rune#fe summoner#art tag
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OC Askbox Game
I'm avoiding writing and you probably are too, so let's at least think about our characters while we do it.
You know the drill- send me a number (ONE number, you can come back for more) and I'll answer for an OC of your choice (if you know their name) or my choice (if you don't know their name). Feel free to name some of your OCs in the tags of your reblog, if you want to be asked about them.
How did you choose their name?
Were they created for the story, or was the story created for them?
Do they have a love interest, and was that their choice or yours?
Do they have a best friend? If so, how did they meet? If not, have they ever/why never?
Did they have a pet as a child?
What catalyzed their introduction to the plot?
What attribute of them (some facet of their personality, their history, their look, or whatever etc) would you find most important to somehow preserve if they were transplanted to an AU fanfic?
If your character's financial situation were to suddenly flip (someone poor becoming rich, someone rich becoming poor, etc), how well would they handle it? What would be the first thing they would do?
If your character could have handed their role in the plot to someone else, would they have?
Free Space #1: Which of your OCs would be most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse? Which would die immediately?
Does your character have a pet peeve?
Has your character committed any crimes (per their universe's laws)? If not, which crime would your character most likely commit?
Who is your character's closest (by relation, fondness, or distance) blood relative?
How does your character feel about riding horses (or your world's closest approximation of a horse if it lacks horses)?
Is your character's first instinct fight or flight? Is there something that could force them to do the opposite?
What is your character's favorite leisure activity?
Is your character holding any grudges? Are they likely to stop?
If your character were trapped on a deserted island, what three things would they want to have with them? Which person would they absolutely hate to be trapped there with? Which person would they enjoy being trapped there with?
Does your character have any health issues, whether they're aware of them or not?
Free Space #2: Which of your OCs would you most like to meet in person, if they could become real (or you could visit them) for a day?
Final Question: Ask me your own question about my OC
Remember: play nice! Send an ask to the person you reblogged this from, and try to send a few to folks that reblog from you!
#Writing#writing games#askbox games#fic prompts#as for me I'll name a few of my OCs but feel free to ask for others if you know them#From Flight's End: Sark'an Kedreeva Cazaes Malik Aislynn Valiss Kalstralev Khelios Alyria Ciara Damalis#From The Final Pack: Osker Steve Dalton Charlie Jasper Penny Scarlet Abigail Marcus#From Korvhan's story: Korvhan Rouchelle Davis Marie#I've seen so many of these but most of them are fairly generic#I want weird answers to weird questions#Maybe I'll make another one if this one goes over well#I have a lot of weird questions
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“Nine hours and a single cup of ‘coffee’ later (don't tell grandma)” what does that mean
what was the “coffee”?????????? “coffee”??? in quotation marks??
I thought alcohol, but that's not what you drink to help you prove the universe is a hologram. it's the 70s. what was it, adderall? LSD??? “single cup of ‘coffee’ later” did they drink acid. did they SHARE a cup of acid and prove the universe is a hologram
am I missing something obvious, like they just drank a bunch of time-accurate red bulls like they're cramming for a test? "don't tell grandma"???
I didn't go to college. WHAT IS “””“COFFEE””””
#I asked my dad “can you drink LSD” and he acted like I asked the most offensive question known to man like he personally liquified it and#I wanted to know if he'd sell#I hope this reads like a jason ritter tiktok#I'm gonna stay awake drinking “coffee” until I know the answer#from thisisnotawebsite.com (keyword “sorry”)#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#ford pines#stanford pines#fiddauthor#thisisnotawebsitedotcom
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Precious Little Brother
#to answer some questions I got before#the Daemon prince we see now is not a corruption or possession#its a dark entity that stole his identity#and he just needed to stretch out a little :)#also the heirloom stone used to be bigger!#the prick chomped it#he eata da stone#he like the cronch#and wants the silly little rock all to himself#it couldnt be any other rock noooo it had to be THAT one#the most important one in the empire#that prick#i love him he can have the stone :)#Zora#zora oc#oc#art#my art#my oc#digital art#daemon#original character#comic#comic art#zelda#zelda oc#botw#botw oc#loz botw#zelda botw
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listen. you all know me. i'm a guy who is very pro-weird and toxic dynamics. that's great to explore in fiction! love it! but i'm going to be honest. the fact that every day i have to scroll past fics in the bucktommy tag where the writer has cast tommy, a canonically gay man, as this abusive violent piece of shit only to have eddie swoop in and rescue buck, while in reality ryan guzman is out here consciously playing eddie as getting violent against buck, is really fucking irritating. and i'm never going to tell people to stop writing whatever they want, but i wish i didn't have to fucking see it lmao
#it's just like. well this simply isn't true!!!!!!!#relatedly someone commented on my most recent fic wishing that tommy would punch eddie for what eddie did in canon and while i#understand the sentiment i am not ever going to write that because that is not how tommy would act in the truth of his character#WRITE WHATEVER YOU WANT!!!! PLEASE!!! DON'T LET ME STOP YOU!!!! but me i want to read things that reveal fundamental character truths#also @ the anon in my inbox who keeps sending me obnoxious bait asks re: tommy that i keep ignoring#does this answer your question?? can you fucking stop now???#ok sorry for getting annoyed at fandom on my personal blog#k8 don't look
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yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason
side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.
and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.
#I had a longer post w more bullshit in it but ukw nobody's even gonna read THIS one. so.#dumb ass cunts seriously LMAO just the individualism of it all....#we're all just selectively forgetting that most people join the military straight out of high school / after failing to kickstart#their lives so they don't know shit yet and they are categorically not educated and don't have money#you NEED money and have been groomed by recruiters ALREADY into believing this is#The Best and Only to make a survivable amount of money without a college education-- bc they can't afford college btw#and they don't want to take on student debt either bc everyone already knows what a big fuckeroo that is#recruiters WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO JOIN. they will KEEP CALLING YOU. they'll answer your questions#to make it sound like this is going to be a GREAT life decision. you can get all KINDS of jobs (true)#they love to say the thing about how only about 15% of the military will actually see combat in any way#they love to list all the jobs where you will literally just be working at an office or a pharmacy or in tech etc etc etc#the recruiters are offering housing healthcare steady pay and BONUSES if you sign on for longer.#so you let your guard down because you were so scared of the actual fighting. BECAUSE YOU'RE 18 IN THIS SCENARIO BTW.#you cunts will not meet anyone who hates the military as much as people who are NOW DONE working in the military#you don't know enough when they get you and then either you stay placated by the benefits or you scramble away as fast as possible#the number one military haters are people who know what goes on bc they already did it#source: I LIVE NEXT TO A MILITARY BASE LMAO PEOPLE HATE IT HERE!! they are NORMAL PEOPLE#I need you to get it into your head that the people committing atrocities in war were NORMAL when they joined#and that for every person in the military who's actively shedding blood there's 20 who do PAPERWORK#and they both are being put in the same category by you!! and they are BOTH being controlled by the same system!!#sergle.txt#I hate yall I really do.
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vox in some of my outfits because i have a lot of silly clothes and thought he’d look like a dork and i was not disappointed. i wear a lot of dangly earrings and wanted to give him earrings but i wasn’t sure how to do that so. antenna caps?
inspired by this post!
#my art#hazbin hotel#digital art#fanart#hazbin#hazbin fanart#hazbin hotel fanart#vox hazbin hotel#vox hazbin#vox#hazbin hotel vox#vox fanart#what if vox was made of pudding#i overthought whether antenna caps would interfere with the signal before realizing he is a cartoon character and i have free will#…so naturally i decided it still needs to make sense to me so i imagine they’re a very breathable material#probably mesh if i drew them in great detail#but once again. i just draw cartoons man i dont have all the answers to questions only i was asking#also somehow managed to not draw him in the hat i wear literally all of the time even though i drew him in my other two hats????#huh. oh whale. for the record i am also not and have never been married#the i ❤️ my wife shirt is just funny to me i wear it with a bracelet that says ‘divorced’ most of the time but im lazy </3#i just wanted to doodle it hejshdj#i have so many things i want to say about this one wow but also i just signed this for funsies im not sure that ill continue doing that#audible shrug
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enemies to lovers / but you'll never own my heart
@luzon-dove happy birthday, Quinn!! As a present, I decided to draw a piece fanart of your "blood in the walls of the yagami house" AU fic series, since I found it very well-written and full of super interesting ideas and concepts. I hope you like it!
#i (ai)#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#fanart#lawlight#own art#I actually really wanted to write a comment to it but as of the time I'm scheduling this post I still haven't been able to get around to it#but like. GOD. it's good?? like at first when I heard about this AU I wasn't very interested & didn't really get the point#(for me personally I mean. bc I was like 'okay I don't get the idea of lawlight as brothers')#but after that I saw your posts more and also read other fics from you. and your writing your other fics are awesome#plus we also talked more and became friends; you're very nice and your takes are really good#so eventually I checked the series out and WOW. holy shit???? I almost regret not reading it sooner because jesus christ it answered my#initial question & way more. like RIGHT I get it now. it's actually so perfect as a setup all of it. I was greatly impressed#and all characters and relationships are so compelling and well-written and everything. aside from lawlight I especially LOVE your misa#and yagamane. and just. holy shit one of the things that compelled me the most was the family setup of the yagamis#L the bastard son and disgrace of the family... Light. his property. who doesn't want to be. perfect child. could've been a perfect family.#and yet. so he tries to kill L. over and over again. because he could've been perfect could've been normal could've been clean could've--#... if not for L's existence. GOD. and the mind games!! it's so compelling and excellent like idk how to put it#my initial disinterest was caused by 'idk how lawlight would be half-brothers like how would it even work' but as I read I was like. MAN#there's no more perfect answer to that than this like literally HOW did you manage to make this basically 'DN but the conflict is family-#-drama and incest' and make it WORK exactly well. thematically. in terms of plot. for characters and relationships. and everything#absolutely incredible. so anyway yeah I made this!!#incest cw#<- just in case anyone wants to filter it out#alrighty I guess I did write a comment here! though I was also hoping to like comment on details and specific lines
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did some JLI headshots to try and get a feel for them
#justice league international#jli#ted kord#micheal jon carter#guy gardner#tora olafsdotter#beatriz da costa#dmitri pushkin#nate adams#maxwell lord#j'onn j'onzz#scott free#blue beetle#booster gold#ice dc#fire dc#red rocket#captain atom#max lord#martian manhunter#mister miracle#dcu#dc fanart#dc comics#okay i THINK thats all the housekeeping tags#sorry gavril and jaime i did the first one and then i had to make the second one match so there wasnt enough slots.......one day maybe#i cant stop laughing over how most of these are very clearly influenced by my style. and then theres nate#listen he just doesnt look right if hes not in a 'traditional' comics style idk what you want from me!!#im the guy who always draws headshots 3/4 facing left your art teachers warned you about#also you can ask me jli questions but i may not have answers. they are simply dear blorbos-in-law to me
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im thinking about celestia and the abyss being literal opposites (chaos and order) and im thinking about childe and lumine being sort of embodiments of that, just not in the way we think. after the latest natlan quest its clear to us what the fatui intends and what they want- i think the tsaritsa more than anything loves humanity, which is why she directly opposes celestia who are known for bringing down different civilizations. childe, as Her weapon and Her blade is an extenction of that: he's a blade forged by the abyss, bathed in Her holyness, meant to strike down those who sin. lumine (talking solely about traveler lumine) is the literal sister of the prince of the abyss, she has clear ties to it and at this point in the story still is hesitant about fully opposing him (i love angst). her entire story revolves around chaose and disrupting celestia's (and the fatui's) order. isnt that fun
i think what childe longs for the most is control- control of himself, his life, his powers, his story, his fate. i think what lumine wants the most is freedom, which is just another phacet of chaos
anyways. you see it. the themes are theming
#i think! childe's character is more interesting if you understand his devotion to the tsaritsa as a way to cope with his abyssal corruption#he wants to be good. he needs to be good. he'll do anything She says because She is holy#and the thing with lumine is just. well obviously she opposes the abyss and the abyss order#but i think what scares her the most is how much she understands her brothers motivation#because in his place she wouldve also done the same (also that is what literally happens in the game if you choose aether as the traveler )#the traveler's achilles heel is their devotion towards the people around the#them *#so she cant even entirely disagree with him because she gets him. because theyre the same in blood and flesh- two parts of a whole star#its why dainsleifs question (do you believe your sibling to have betrayed you?) goes unanswered#to make long matters short- lumine sees more of herself whithin the abyss than whithin celestia#and that scares her#childe on the other hand strives to shine in his goddesses light- anti-celestia or not she's still a goddess meant as an envoy +#for the heavenly principles (how can she oppose that which completes her?)#idk if its a mistranslation but childe has voicelines about stepping on the god's throans#does he hate celestia because they have what he will never have?#the answer is yes- a thought that probably also terrifies him and he probably hates himself for it#anyways#chilumi#need i say more
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There's this interconnected web of Walten Files Information that keeps coming back into my mind which I meant to make a post about a while ago. Which is as follows:
-We know from the Richie audios in Findjackwalten/caretakerlibrary that Rosemary had already been banned from (or at least highly discouraged from entering) Bon's Burgers by the 1st of July, which is quite a ways away from when she disappeared on the 19th. I definitely wouldn't put it past her to sneak into the restaurant during its off-hours, but we know at least that her being there wasn't formally sanctioned.
-From the way he talks to and interacts with Susan in TWF4, it seems that Bon's 'Selection Process' for who he 'beautifies' is not arbitrary, nor is it necessarily opportunistic. Which is to say that he's not picking people at random, and he's not picking people only because they would be an easy target. He watches them, and chooses them based on criteria they exhibit which appeal to him. In essence, he picks people he likes, who he thinks belong in his Wonderland.
-There's a near-undeniable but Implicit fixation that Bon has on Rosemary, which we only learn through many, many small things. The 'shrine' we see him create for her in Souvenir is relatively elaborate, (in that it seems to contain more than one object that is associated with her,) and he put her in Sha, which is the companion animatronic to his Bon. Rose's death scene in TWF2 also makes it seem like he spoke to her, as the Bon animatronic, before killing her. What he says exactly is notable, too. "Rose broken. Will fix you. You will beautiful." It's, one, an explanation of what he's doing. Bon did this for Susan too, but not in the 'physical world,' before he actually hurt her. Also, it's comfort. A soothing reassurance. I'll fix you. You'll be beautiful. Then also, of course, he calls her Rosie. "I know where he is, Rosie," is a line that haunts me forever, thinking of it coming from him.
This all paints a specific sort of picture in my mind. I like to think that Bon likes Rosemary a lot, and that she's a favorite of his, because she designed The Showstoppers. I think he likes Susan quite a lot for a similar reason, she was the woman who gave him his flesh and his bone. Who forged the vessel that he now lives for. But Rosemary is the artist who made it what he loves. She was the visionary who made him Beautiful.
So I think that Bon had his heart set on Rosemary for Wonderland. And it makes me wonder if the contentions between her and Felix that kept him away from her really pissed him off. But the core of my 'theory' here is just that Bon wanted her in the restaurant, that night. That she maybe wouldn't have been there at all, if someone hadn't asked her to be.
#chirps#I have a small addition to this theory/observation#which is just that I think Rosemary's death was very violent and slapdash because Bon was very excited#and he was maybe being very indulgent. He was enjoying himself#Which I say because Rose's death led to the shutdown of the restaurant. And I definitely don't think Bon wanted that#especially not before his project was complete.#I've seen some people question why Rosemary would be in the serial disappearances restaurant in the middle of the night to begin with#and risk leaving her daughter behind#which frankly isn't the most unreasonable criticism#and this is the answer which makes the most sense to me
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youtube
I just want to talk about how incredible the funeral skit is in the middle of the video, not just for being such a funny piece of satire but also for how it speaks to the commentary about Taylor's life AND maybe even her own rejection of it.
(jump ahead to 2:16 if you want... Sorry I couldn't get the timestamp to work in the embed.)
I know people have talked about the video as a whole and how it’s laying Taylor’s demons and struggles and insecurities bare in such a brutally honest way. And the “daughter-in-law kills me for the money” bit was so interesting, like a nod to thinking that she has this grand, over the top life and in the end she’s reduced to another body disposed of at the hands of greed.
But the daughter-in-law in the video makes me pause because when you think about it, "Kimber" kind of embodies all the things Taylor is satirizing in the video (and song), and all the things she’s been accused of and/or feels insecure about. The fake emotion and tears in front of the phone camera (your pain is manipulative). The unfathomable wealth and hoarding it for access and notoriety rather than philanthropy (greedy capitalist exploiting fans and ruining *insert thing here*). The image-obsessed princess belying a conniving schemer who will take anyone down (the ice queen crushing her competition). A woman being accused of taking down another woman (not a girl’s girl). Perpetually planting Easter eggs to convey REAL meaning (her life is a game devoid of true experience). Which, of course, I'm sure was by design.
It also feels like an example of what she later writes about in Clara Bow. Video-Taylor, particularly in the skit, is reduced to an idea, an avatar of everything people project onto her. Her imaginary daughter-in-law perpetuates this, using Taylor’s death as clout for whatever her scheme is. (Apparently, the beach house is lit.) She doesn't care about Taylor the Person, she cares about Taylor the Celebrity, Taylor the Billionaire, Taylor the Idea, Taylor the Billboard. Dead!Taylor's final wish is to turn the house into a cat sanctuary, and Kimber loses her shit because it doesn't benefit her. It's a joke, obviously, but it's also an example of her very own imaginary family seeing her as a caricature. She's there to bankroll their lifestyles and vanity projects, but they seem to have little regard for her own wishes. She's cast aside and forgotten as soon as she is no longer useful to them. (To the point where her own family member may have even offed her in the ultimate act of taking advantage of her. They've got edge, she never did.)
It’s fascinating how Video-Taylor is an interloper in all this, peeking through the casket, an audience member in her own life. She’s watching the way others see her, even if these others are supposed to be family and of all people should recognize her humanity and not her celebrity. One of her own children is even recording this private moment to mine for content in the media and building a (flop?) empire of his own off her back. It's striking to me, particularly after the bts clip where she explains Anti-Hero where she says that she struggles with not feeling like a person sometimes and I think there's an easy connection to make between that kind of dissociation and her audience-member view of her life in the skit. She watches on in horror as her own family devolves into total anarchy, fighting over money and fame and selfishness, wreaking havoc and causing pandemonium in their wake, as though she were the root of all this chaos. To quote another Midnights song, that's a real fucking legacy to leave-- but is it actually the one she's leaving?
It’s also interesting to me that the skit cuts immediately to Taylor then sitting dejectedly on the roof of the house, lonely and frustrated and depressed at once again being on the periphery of life, when all of a sudden Party!Taylor (Evil!Taylor? PopStar!Taylor?) pops up. It’s like watching someone struggle with different sides of herself in real time: the “normal” girl who’s unhappy and alone, and the “fun” girl who wants to sparkle in her hot pants and party the night away. Is it that Sad!Taylor is sitting there, fathoming what her life is going to be like if she continues to follow the path she’s on, when Party!Taylor shows up to throw a wrench in those plans and pull her out in spite of herself? And then of course Giant!Taylor rocks up at the end, the monster on the hill who isn’t all that scary after all even if she takes up so much space. Ultimately, she just wants a friend, too.
(ETA: I realize in the context of the video, Party!Taylor may also be IntrusiveThoughts!Taylor, given the previous scenes with “everyone will betray you” and the scale and the binge drinking etc. Anyway I know it’s layered.)
It ends on an, if not happy or hopeful, then at least content note? Because Sad!Taylor and Party!Taylor aren't scared of Giant!Taylor. They're happy to see her! They invite her over for their rooftop hang! They all get each other and share their vices! It's like she's saying: these are all of me and I am them, and they're all what makes me me.
There's a lot to be said about the symbolism of the video at large and specifically the skit, and though this maybe isn't even all that fair, with the benefit of hindsight, it's such a fascinating look into where her mind might have been at the time. Why does she imagine her kids as vapid and shallow and money- and image-obsessed who don't particularly seem to care for her? Why does she imagine her actions being the ones to tear her family apart, as awful as its members are? Why does she imagine she's going to be viewed as spiteful? (And finally: it is curious to me that there's no husband/father in this skit. I know why-- it was a song about her and her career and she probably didn't want to wade into that discourse or invite discussion about her partner, real or imagined-- but it is interesting how everything in the video is Mom Mom Mom. Even if Dad is already dearly or long-since departed, he doesn't seem to be much of a factor in any of this.)
The answer to much of this I suppose is that in the end, this is all fictional, in that it's her imagination (whether from an actual nightmare or a scenario she creates in her writing), and as she says in the BTS clip, she feels that as a person she needs to come to terms with all the things she doesn't like about herself to be able to exist in the world, and these were the things she might have feared about herself. It's incredibly sad that these are even passing thoughts, though on the flip side it's very brave of her to not only voice them, but turn them into art that is supremely entertaining. And in the end, at least for Video-Taylor, she's able to reconcile all of this a little bit as part of, but not all of her. Because she's not condoning the vipers in her own family; the fact that she leaves them out of the will can be seen in a way as a rebuke of their selfishness (and the perception of her own). She leaves the scene when they cause a riot because she's sick of this shit. In the end, she just wants to be a person.
#mining the drafts#writing letters addressed to the fire#anti-hero#midnights#anti-hero mv#i mean the real question is: who was feeding all this bs to her but that answer is likely more complex#whether it's the media or her detractors or her-- never mind#also i wrote most of this like six months ago#and it just sat here for nothing#i feel like there's more i want to say but i can't quite articulate it#and instead of waiting for it i'm just posting it and saying be gone lol
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