#reparenting the inner child

[safe-haven-safe-place]

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[mad-girlslove-song]

"my mother" by lea jane

[yourhealingjournal]

stop. pick up the journal. speak to yourself gently. sit down. have a cup of tea. the world isn't ending even if it feels like it constantly is. what made you upset? how are you feeling? did you hydrate yourself enough today? ate a piece of fruit and watch the sky, soak in some warmth? pick up a random book you want to read and indulge yourself for a moment. better yet, flip it to a random page and read the passage. splash some water on your face, move your legs a little, shake your wrist. i know all you can think of is it's hard, it's hard, it's hard and i will commiserate with you and say that it is. so have some gentleness instead. we all need it. give yourself a taste of it.

[healingchildhoodtrauma]

[serenityquest]

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[theblasianwitch]

As I'm working on my healing I found these gems and keep having to refer to them to remind myself sometimes that people in my family are indeed toxic and to take my inner child out of the self blaming state they get in at times. I'm hoping this little information is useful for someone else as well

*Combos can and do exist

**As an adult, your parents may still show these traits, and being around them can be more triggering depending on the severity. The best we can do is educate them while working on healing ourselves. Once educated, it's up to them, not you, to act on what they've learned.

[trippy-lotus]

[jemeryl]

Reparenting yourself isn't just about learning to regulate your emotions or heal your inner child. It's also about teaching yourself all the skills you were supposed to be taught, but never were.

A list including but not limited to: cooking, cleaning, time management, setting boundaries, enforcing boundaries, self care, making friends, maintaining friendships, asking for help, accepting help.

Even adult, romantic relationships are meant to be modelled for you by caregivers, and abusive caregivers often have toxic or dysfunctional relationships.

Parenting is incredibly difficult and capitalism/the nuclear family makes it even harder. You probably need to learn some of these things even if you had good enough parents. If your parents were abusive or neglectful you may need to learn most or all of them.

It's a fuckload of work that is frustrating when you could be doing other things. It's gruelling, it's boring, it leads to so much lost time and so many mistakes.

But you deserve to do it. You can do it. You are worth it. You are not alone.

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

🙏🏼💕✨

[1101200905]

reparenting Can't be the solution to parentalization. like. i had to parent myself so the only solution is??? i have to parent myself again????????

no offense but I'm actually fucking tired of doing that?

(i also get pissed at the idea that the correct response to loneliness is learning to be alone. that's in direct opposition to how Human Beings Work).

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[diaryofanenchantedprincess]

🤍 Gentle reminder: You didn’t do it “for attention”.

Seeking help was about finding solace, not seeking spotlight. Wanting attention is a human need. To be seen, loved, supported, cherished- they’re all a normal part of being human.

You didn’t do it “for attention”. You did it for connection.

[moonlit-positivity]

🌸 Activities for healing your inner child 🥹

Emotional activities

Scream (into a pillow if you're concerned about noise)

Cry

Rage

Throw a tantrum

Acknowledge the pain

Acknowledge there is a baby version of you inside that needs to be comforted

Make an effort to connect- notice what gets in the way. Is it hard to think of yourself as a child again? Talk about it.

Allow yourself to talk freely

Make an effort to leave the judgements behind

Tell them it wasn't their fault

Hold them when they cry

Shake your body

Allow yourself to vent

Get it out

Validate your emotions

Allow the anger

Try real hard to create a safe space in your mind

Give the comforts

Put your arms up to defend yourself

Scrunch up your face to show anger/pain/discomfort

Say "No!" out loud

Say "Don't hurt me!" out loud

Allow yourself to be vulnerable without shredding your own sanity

Punch the air like you're punching your abusers

Hold your heart

Hold your head

Hold your cheeks

Rub your shoulders

Tell them they can leave that place/situation now

Show them they are safe

Draw vent art of how you feel (can be vulgar and graphic, it's vent art)

Watch gentle parenting videos on YouTube & Instagram

Creative activities

Make a collage about your life

Allow yourself the artistic expressions

Art therapy prompts

Get into Dungeons and Dragons

Make a playlist of all your favorite video game soundtracks

Look up random videos that you like to watch

Indulge in the hobby

Give them a coloring book and their choice of crayons and markers and colored pencils

Buy the hobbies you wanted as a kid

Watch cartoons (tubi has a good selection for free)

Dance to a good song (u can dance sitting down btw)

Make a funny face

Get a teddy bear

Dye your hair

Draw fake tattoos on ur skin with markers like we all did in middle school

Finger painting

Face painting

Go outside and collect some rocks

Go outside and take a picture of the sky

Play in the snow

Play in the rain

Visit a playground & swing

Jigsaw puzzles

Video games

Creative writing

Buy some toys you've always wanted as a kid

Get some fidgets and dunk on your friends

Get in touch with your sense of humor

Daydream

Get yourself the books/manga/video game

Sing

Frolic in the flowers & dig in the dirt

Put your hand out the window of the car and do that wave thingy on the wind

Teach yourself a new hobby (might I suggest hemp bracelets, perler beads, crochet, these are pretty cheap and easy to start)

Decorate ur house

Go thrift shopping for nicknacks

Decorate return envelopes with cute funny pictures for the people youve gotta mail stuff to

Make a card for yourself/friend/loved one etc

What are some other fun things you'd like to do? I invite you to make your own list.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Hope this helps

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

[healingchildhoodtrauma]

If you were emotionally neglected as a child you might think having a person obsessed with you will help fill that void for attention you never got. But what kind of attention is it? Is it nourishing attention? Usually it's about control, and they end up criticizing your every move. Remember, control reduces you to an object.

Respect > attention