#rhs family

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

40: share an inside joke but don’t share the context

"You have to do the do to do the done!"

[donnatroyyyy]

Jason Todd’s death storyline was perfectly executed because they killed him figuratively (killed his innocence) before actually killing him. It’s a tragedy because he died in two separate ways. And the reason his resurrection is just as much a tragedy is because only one of the things killed can be brought back and it wasn’t the thing that made Jason who he is (his innocence and kindness).

[msfcatlover]

Damian slipping a dagger into Steph’s coffin as a funerary gift, because he would never risk sending his sister into the afterlife unarmed.

Steph waking up in her dress in her grave without even a belt buckle to her name, but feeling that hilt digging into her hip. Steph using the dagger to dig her way out.

Talia coming to retrieve Steph off the streets, and Steph still has that dagger. Steph pulling it on Talia on pure instinct.

Talia confirming Steph’s identity by Steph’s stance & grip—exactly the way Damian taught her (exactly the way he learned from his mother.)

Steph recognizing Damian’s features in Talia, and lowering the knife in confusion. Talia taking Steph by the wrist and leading her into the vehicle that will take them out of Gotham until Steph makes her grand return.

[puppetmaster13u]

You know what I need for a DCxDP crossover

Alternate timeline ghost/realms Batman who may or may not have become a god of family adopting the entirety of Amity Park. Like every single liminal or ghost, they're his kids now. Sure they have human parents in the living realm too, but they're all developing cores and need a realms parent too.

[krotiation]

"You can't ship rhack, it's toxic!!" Wrong, that's exactly why I ship it

[lazisconcerned]

I think my favorite stupid idea with batman is the thought that literally everyone knows the Wayne's are the bats and just... doesn't say anything? Is it possible? No. Is it funny? Yes. The rogues have collectively decided that they will pretend they don't know, which essentially means they pretend they're kidnapping different people when they manage to snatch one of the Wayne's. Like, Riddler takes Tim, and as expected Tim just blazes through the riddles and leaves, but the next day Riddler manages to injure Red Robin and, much to Tim's chagrin, gives him the exact same set of riddles. It makes the bats think "oh they don't know our identities, Riddler would never use the same riddles on one guy" but actually Riddler just thought it'd be a really funny joke because Tim cut his stupid little suit with a batarang last week.

The civilians only say nothing because they know it could lure like, metropolis' villains to try and attack, and they do not want to deal with those freaks.

A guy from Star city moves to Gotham like "What if I run into the elusive Batman and he hurts me, oh god..."

and someone's just like "nah Bruce wouldnt bother you."

"Bruce????"

[princesscatherineblog]

1 JULY 2019: Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge visiting the RHS Hampton Court Palace Garden Festival to view the RHS 'Back to Nature Garden' which she co-designed.

[cyanide-sippy-cup]

Opinions on the new WFA chapter?

Literally peak. The beginning with Bruce and Jim is a great showing at just how traumatized everybody is. And the phone call with Bruce and Dick is really nice. It goes a long way to show the care they have for each other, how much they connect as the original Dynamic Duo, and how much they've grown past their argumentative selves. I know in the past I've made it sound like I hate Bruce arguing with his kids but that's actually not the case. I hate the abuse in the mainline comics, but I love what WFA is doing.

Not getting along with someone doesn't mean you don't love each other. That's a big lesson I learned in my life. You can get therapy, you can find outlets for your troubles, you can even separate from each other for a time to find your shape again. I like that so much gets portrayed in a simple little conversation, I love that Bruce actually cracks a smile at Dick's joke, and I Iike that Dick's the one to get through to him and convince him to talk to them.

Also, the Jason section was real neat! I know a lot of people don't like the idea of Bruce and Jay fighting in the past, but I actually really like that. They have opposing ideologies, that's how Under the Red Hood even happens. Jason is far too violent for B. I mean, he literally (potentially) kicked a rapist off a balcony once and, when asked, told Bruce "he slipped." It's when we get to the "Oh, Bruce was a bad father and Dick was a bad brother" that I lose all interest. It's the fun nuance and character depth that really makes a story work for me. And besides, any time I get to see Bizarro is a win for me.

In short, yeah I'd say it's pretty good.

[b00m-b0mb]

Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."

And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao

Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)

Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."

Or something I'm messing around UGH

[orbeater]

i wanna know ur interpretation of taj if you have any....

perhaps him interacting with oliver or vander because i think itd be quite funny if he thought they were nerdy in an intelligent way but theyre actually just nerdy in an autistic way

(Few Taj thoughts undercut)

Taj i think he's in a similar boat as of Alex, as in trying to increase his credit for getting recruited as a knight, since its mentioned how hes good academically but not in practicals and stuff.

I don't think about him as much as I'd like to... but i think he's of a decent family background of people that must've been knights which is his main motivation to work as a guard... though i do wonder if he would prefer some other field of work but doesn't pursue that because of his family's expectation? There isn't exactly any dialogue which suggests anything like that... but it would be an interesting route for him i think...

[spacedace]

Next chapter of Foundling at the Door is 7k words long and not done yet but I refuse to extend the chapter length again so it's just gonna be a beefy fucking chapter yall

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

It's past 3am and I don't have the time, the spoons, or the emotional strength to elaborate.

Edit: I elaborated anyways. This is Heavy and I guess I still have a lot to work through...

(Personal family stuff below. tl;dr I'm learning to accept that I'll never be as close and trusting with and feel as loved by my stepmother and father as I want to, but it still hurts.)

((And don't reblog this or you Will be blocked.))

--

Lately, I've been wondering... See, when it turned out I was living in a house that might be foreclosed any day because the property owner hadn't paid taxes in years, I moved back in with my stepmother and father for a month, just long enough to get a lease signed and move in to my own place ASAP.

I appreciated them letting me do that. (Although I know the primary motivation was them needing the money I'd pay in rent.)

They acted like they LOVED me being there.

But here's the thing: I wasn't really there.

Physically, yes. But not mentally. Not emotionally.

I've learned how to lie to their faces. I've learned how to hide who I really am in front of them, because I'm sick of being real enough to constantly upset them. I'm sick of the arguments, the screaming, the relentless emotional abuse. I'm sick of constantly having to defend myself and leaving conversations in tears because everything about me somehow offends them.

I only spoke up to agree with them. I only spoke when spoken to. I only interacted when someone initiated it. I nodded, I listened, I hid everything about my own thoughts and feelings and vulnerabilities and life.

I gave up long ago.

I pretended to be a shell of who I am, an empty shell filled with what they wanted from me.

And we didn't argue.

But we don't really make connections that way, do we? They aren't really loving "me" that way, are they?

I also grew very sick of walking on eggshells and cutting my feet to keep the rest of me from being burned.

But ever since I moved out, about 9 months ago by now, stepmom and Dad have sent me messages. Inviting me to family functions (only if I'll spend the whole weekend there or spend $700 to get there). Saying they're thinking about me. Saying they love me.

And it's been making me question myself. Is putting distance between us really the right choice? Is it cruel of me to avoid it? Am I just being pessimistic about our relationships? Is it possible that they really want to get to know me better?

Is there really hope of us reconnecting?

But when I was desperately combing through my files tonight to try finding those Missing Writing Files, I found a file compiling all the ways stepmother and dad have hurt me.

Do you know what quote I used to name that file?

"My only weakness was loving you."

When people say "forgiving someone doesn't make it okay", then what is forgiveness saying? What is forgetting everything they've done? What does it solve, what does it accomplish? What does it do besides leave you open to being hurt again by people who will never change?

People you've tried to talk to, to make amends, to problem-solve with, to open up to, to try mending your hearts together. People you've employed six years of communication training and therapy and compassion and empathy for. People you tried so, so hard to understand, to help them understand you.

People who spent those entire conversations spitting in your face.

And all they tell you is that you're being disrespectful by being hurt when they scream at you. Or call you names. Or tell you your wants and needs don't matter. Put you down. Threaten your future. Threaten to kick you out. Mock your insecurities. Call you inhuman. Tell you you have 30 days and when you write up a letter for them to sign so you can get assisted housing because you only work 10 hours a week minimum wage and you'll be homeless if they don't, they steadfastly refuse.

Am I a bad person for not wanting to forgive them?

I won't say I'm holding onto the pain intentionally. I won't say I'm bitter. I'm angry, yes, a little, but mostly I'm sad.

I mourn what I daydream about, but will never be. (Them learning how to love me kindly.)

I put, in that file, a blogged journal entry about the time I dreamed my father hugged me when he saw me crying instead of yelling at me for it, and it was so important and needed and promising that I woke up crying for real because it will never happen.

They refuse to ever, ever even CONSIDER that the way they acted was wrong. The only apologies I've ever gotten were sarcastic or refuted. Those apologies that are rhetorical devices to set up how sorry they really AREN'T. "I'm sorry I'm such a bad person." "I'm sorry, but you were wrong." "I'm sorry you're upset."

I spent the past two hours reading through the story of my adult life with them. After I realized it was emotional abuse. After I started trying to reach out. After I learned how to defend myself in the moment, but not from the lasting impact.

And even still, maybe I haven't learned that lesson. Because I can't make peace with the fact that I'll never make peace with them.

Gods, it hurts, it burns, it stings, to think that after everything they've done to me, every cruel word, I still WANT them. But what I want from them isn't how they actually are. What I want from them is the version that I've imagined. The ideal scenarios I conjure to try piecing together what would help, what would soothe the pain, what would make me feel loved.

Because the reality is that I haven't felt loved by them in a very long time. They can say it all they want, but the times they've said "you don't matter" or "you're a failure" or "you're an awful person" or "I don't care how badly I hurt you" drowns it out.

The last entry in the file goes like this:

I love her, as I love any other person, just enough to stay silent when she says, “Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision” or “sometimes I wonder if you would be better off without me”. Guess what… I would. But I can’t tell her that. It would DESTROY her, to hear it from ME and not just her subconscious. I can’t destroy her. As much as she has taken from me, and hurt me, and scarred me to the point where I’m afraid to ask my best friends permission to do things… As much social anxiety as she has given me in everyday interactions? As much trust as she destroyed, as much as she has RUINED me? Even after everything she’s done? I can’t destroy her, too……..

And there's a part of me that wonders if my self-esteem is Still Too Low, because maybe I don't love myself enough to be infuriated by the mere insinuation that I "should" love them, even after everything they've forced upon me. Maybe I don't love myself enough to protect myself from these silly little daydreams, these hopes, these wishes, that someday they WILL love me for who I am, and not just who they're telling themselves I am.

I'm not a bitter person by nature. I'm not angered by the way people treat me. I just... get really sad, and spend an hour thinking about it and typing about it on my online journal.

It hurts, but I'm trying to accept it. It's a sort of grief, having spent 20+ years of my life trying to earn their love and begging for their understanding. Hope is such a strong, persistent thing for me.

But I have to accept that they've never going to change how they treat me until they can realize that the way they've done it all my life is WRONG. Until they decide they WANT to change. Until they decide to accept that it is, in fact, Not Okay to scream at a child for forgetting to put the dishes away.

And I have to assert, to myself moreso than them, that this is the right decision. That it's not worth the constant letdowns, the pain, the strife, the heart-rending accusations that were leveled at me every single time I lived there for more than 35 days.

I have to tell myself that it's worth it to PROTECT myself. It's important for me to heal. It's important for me to surround myself in people who DO love me for who I am, and who are there to support me when I need it. It's important for me to be where I don't have to pretend to be someone entirely different just to avoid being hurt again.

I am worth protecting, and they are not worth hurting myself over.

But it doesn't stop me from aching over the fact that I have to make that decision.

[world-of-wales]

CATHERINE'S STYLE FILES - 2019

10 FEBRUARY 2019 || Kensington Palace released photographs of The Duchess of Cambridge as the plans for her RHS Back to Nature Garden were unveiled.

[msfcatlover]

*mushes two of my favorite AUs together*

Red Hood!Steph would still be a Desolation avatar—there’s too much anger, too much destruction, too much hate & desire for the complete annihilation of the targets of that hate to be anything else—but she’s different.

RH!Jason is an earthquake.

RH!Steph would be a lightning storm. The crackle of electricity, the taste of ozone, the light of something utterly uncontrollable in her eyes. The billowing, bulging thunder cloud sweeping across the sky to blot out the sun. Wind enough to rip up trees, rain so heavy you can’t see, but lightning, lightning every few seconds, like all the electricity in the world has been stolen underneath her skin. A fire-starter (like Jason) but the blaze itself is not what you have to Fear, the blaze is merely a side effect of something much more powerful sweeping through. Her victims are not shattered bones & splattered brains, they’re bleeding ears & the reek of cooking meat.

Jason borders the Buried far closer than he’d like.

Steph would dance on the border of the Vast like a small child dances in the rain: with wild abandon & near-feral glee.

[trynadollsiesplay]

I'm playing a dangerous game, y'all

How many dolls until the drawer overflows?

So far, it's 31 and still counting. But honestly... I was scared 10 dolls ago.

One doll to go for today 🥲

I'm still finding a storage solution lmao. I have another drawer but... these drawers aren't my aesthetic. Still figuring out the perfect solution for that. But I'll get there hmhm.

[style-of-princess-beatrice]

A Royal Recycling (part 161)

Self Portrait